#“i could be the best thing thats ever happened to you :)”
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high and dry
ellie williams x reader
warnings : angst, unrequited love, bad writing, r is smoking, and also lowk hates herself🤷♀️, thats pretty much it. also not proofread. an : this was originally supposed to be waaaay longer but i got a wee bit scared so i decided to keep it short🙂 wc : 0.5k
there’s something about tonight that makes you want to spill your gut. the way the tiny stars shined from your appartement balcony. the chilly breeze flowing into your face, making your hand wrap around yourself and hold your elbows tight. the smell of the cigarette in between your two fingers was comforting, it brought peace to you. every time you bring the end of the cigarette to your slightly dry lips, the way the smoke filled up your lungs made you feel numb to the thought of losing her.
why were feeling so fucking complicated?
god, the was she look at you, her laugh, her face, everything about her was perfect. she was perfect. and you were sure she thought the same for you, but you just didn’t think you were perfect enough for her. you were always there for her though every break up, through her high and lows. but all you did was push her away when you needs a shoulder to cry on. locking all your feelings away so she couldn’t come and help you. all this pain just because you did want her to leave. you knew if you let her get close to you your feelings would grow bigger and stronger, and you knew it would end up breaking your heart.
but the one time you did need her, of course she was there. oh, how much you hated her for it. the words of “i have feeling for you” leaving your lips. her face staring blank at you. what have you done? you could tell that she didn’t like you back. the way her face morphed into a look of pitty. ellie didn’t what to hurt your feelings by saying no, but she had no other choice.
i mean don’t get her wrong she thought you were really pretty. you were the most amazing person ever. the light of her life. but all she saw you as was a sister. you were her platonic soulmate, in every universe. but was there a universe where you are more then that? plotonic?
you hated yourself for so long for ruining your friendship. seconds before you said thoes words you hoped that she wouldn’t leave you, she was the best thing you ever had, (even if there was nothing romantic about it… to her at least), she was the best thing that ever happened to you. and you ruined it—with something as ‘silly’ as love.
your lips parted, letting up the smoke from your lungs. you shut your eyes are you let all the smoke out, and when you opened your eyes, a few salty tears fall down your cold cheeks, scattering at the top of your chin. each one of those tears carried unspoken words you couldn’t say, everything you’ve been holding back.
snorting back some snot that was threatening to slip from your nose, you reach your free hand to wipe your face free of tears. you put out the cigarette and walked back into your apartment, the scent of smoke and salt still clinging to you, as this night refused to let you ever forget.
#opt1mistic.writes#ellie angst#ellie x reader#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie tlou#ellie willams x reader#ellie x black!reader#ellie x masc reader#ellie x you#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#lesbian#wlw
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ok im watching act 3 again to write down my questions and see if anything makes sense this time
edit im 2 eps in this got long as FUCK kjchgxhi come talk to me!!!!! im screeching into the void!!!!!!! americans wake up look at my post!!!!!!!! say everything to me!!!!!!!!!
why are we introducing time travel alternate universes into this story
where did the other ekko go, was he in Our ekkos universe/body or just out of commission, bc that makes no sense i think, if they didnt switch then wheres the ✨symmetry✨
do you think that skye had anything to do with them figuring out the cleaning flowers thing in the AU? and is viktor dead? and jayce in jail? banished? i wonder where skye went here i hope shes living her best not in love with a gay guy life
where the FUCK was the Original-AU heimerdonger when he got bodysnatched by the Our version? they do still call him professor but in Our version he just recently got kicked out of the council so would he still be just freeloadin around zaun at that point in the AU? was he ever councilor?
can everyone on my screen Please stop hurling their guts out from timetraveldisease
if theres no hextech and no anomaly in the AU reality then how did it throw them in it in the first place
ekko is smart but if he was smarter hed stay around to research what needed to happen to make zaun work in this version and save himself time figuring it out from the groundup back home, i think
but also what the fuck COULD have possibly happened to make it so different CUZ LIKE- ok the little flashback bit with vi dying in jayces house- the gang is wearing the same clothes as in Our version, so that would probably indicate that THAT zaun was also in the same state as Our ""original"" version too? right? no? i mean i would say they did put emphasis on clag n mylos clothes being different and more piltovian or whatever idk maybe im onto nothing WAIT NO BECAUSE CLAGGOR WAS MAKING THE DAMN FLOWER TO CLEAN THE POLLUTION SO IF THATS STILL THERE THEN IT COULDNT HAVE BEEN RESOLVED THAT MUCH EARLIER HERE RIGHT
also what the fuck had to be different exactly for enforcers to bust the kids after blowing up a building and not chuck them all in stillwater this time around? did they really care that much about vi dying? was that really the inciting incident for zauns inclusion? marcus? fucking MARCUS marcus? marcus "im gonna bury the lot of you" "deals with the devil to get a 14 yearold put in jail for life"* marcus sees a zaunite girl dead (after breaking into a piltover home and wrecking it) and just goes "aw :c" ? the council of rich businessfucks like salo whod do everything they can to maintain the status quo? is One Dead Kid (still the name of my nonexistent band) really all it takes this time? am i too tough on these people am i dumb if id like some elaboration on how that whole story went or
*to be honest i. dont really get what that Deal thing with silco was about in the first place
wheres Scar aaaat show me my guyy whERES VIKAAA
how did the shimmer story end up in the AU because IF the main change here is vis death then i could believe that silco WAS still already on track with beginning the production at that point if of course singed is also in the same position as Originally
is there a universe where that hammer lands on jayjays head and ends him right there
did silco forgive vanvan before or after zaun gets their "win" in the AU? because my bet is DEFINITELY after
ALSO how the fuck in a city like piltover did they not renovate jayces blown up flat after fuck knows how many years, at LEAST 3 (id wager at least 7 but thats just me so whatever) like city of progress who?? is it just there as like a cautionary tale??? did they put up a lil plaque for jayce after he kild himself?? they just boarded that shit up tho there was nobody there?? why did they leave it like that idk
WHY did heimerdeimer die???? DID he die?? why did he DIE?????? what happens to the AU-Original hongerdonger??? you couldnt have just waited 10 minutes and have powder do allat?? she trusted us right? maybe not
why WAS bonking viktor in the head with the zdrive the answer to our problems
powder knew what she was doing with that innovators cum petition sign right
WHAT the FUCK was that mylo claggor moment like am i inSANE OR WAS THIS SUS AS HELL also (man rapping) put some FUCKING RESPECT on stromaes name
how DID rizzard viktor stop being purple actually. god i still hate that reveal im not smart but i refuse to believe that was good writing
what happened to put that rock in jayces wrist? it wasnt a process it was viktor doing it in a split second why did that need to happen? so he wouldnt lose it? hunh?
no because WHAT IS AMBESSAS FUCKING GOAL HERE IN THE END
does she want kino back? whAT DO YOU WANT WOMANNNN
did that princess girl that got her head sliced off by bessa in the first season actually have anything to do with anything in the end or not cuz im just confuzzled
how does he know that
what does that mean
how does SHE know THAT
what does THAT mean
does loris have the same accent as vik??????
where the fuck did that ginger binch come from in the first place is she from piltover or noxus if shes from piltover what did ambessa give her and when
Neither of them would say ANY of this shit
wonder what vi would say if she saw this conversation before her and cait decided to pork
im just gonna choose to believe she was in there for like 5 hours so her labrador attention span just reset and she chilled out about jinx (actually ykw i guess im willing to believe at this point she doesnt really care that much if jinky offs herself or not)
what the FUCK ARE these goddamn doll puppet thingies viktor makes why are they LIKE that why is THIS the theme here (because orianna and Plot) (but like dyouknow what i mean)
what the fuck was the point of Skye Young as a character in this entire story other than a Gaydar Jammer. with all respect to skyvik stans but like. what is it.
lmao you abandoned them much before that guys
we stan a I Gave You Food And A Roof Why Are You Sad You Ungrateful Ingrate queen
it REALLY DOESNT DOES IT JGHCCGHIBC
why DID skye die again? they wouldnt have just? integrated? again? or smthn? why is this a one-passenger ride all of a sudden? we already got a hivemind thing goin? whatsup?
#arcane#arcane 2#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#viktor#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitvi#jinx#jinx arcane#jayce talis#skyvik#arcane critical
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YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
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#“i could be the best thing thats ever happened to you :)”#(he will deceive and kidnap her)#poto#phantom of the opera#poto shitpost#poto text
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If there are a million Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them. If there are only two Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them (Eva Noblezada is the other). If there are no Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, Eva Noblezada and I are dead 😔
#hadestown#hadestown obc#reeve carney#eva noblezada#seriously im sick and fucking tired of the reeve carney hate on tiktok#'jordan fisher is the only orpheus that matters' 'jordan fisher shouldve originated orpheus on bway'#'they should replace the obc recording with jordan fisher' 'jordan fisher was the best thing to ever happen to hadestown'#shut up!!!!!!!#i adore jordan fisher but you are missing the point of theatre and hating on reeve in the process!!!!!#you can have a favorite but that doesnt mean the actors who are not your favorite shouldnt exist in that role!!!!!#but also your favorite is wrong!!!!#reeve carney brought more autistic swag to orpheus than anyone could possibly recreate!!!#he was naive he was soft spoken he was unaware of social expectations!!!!!#jordan fisher has such a raw powerful voice and thats not what orpheus needs!!!!! hes just a lil guy!!!!#hes just a lil guy who accidentally had a battle of the bands with the devil and won#because he has nothing in his brain except sing and love his girlfriend!!!!!#i love jordan fisher in everything ive ever seen him in and i adore his voice but please stop putting other actors down#im not a huge fan of the way jonjon briones plays hermes but im not out here talking shit about him!!@#or saying he should never have had the part in the first place#(btw i was joking about the 'your favorite is wrong' thing because - again - literally defeats the point of theatre)#please find ways to say that jordan fisher is your favorite without putting reeve carney down#and also please give reeve carney a chance and dont dismiss him just because he is less conventionally attractive#and hip in popular media and on social media#please give the role a chance for what it is and not just which actor you already like#i was pissed when i first found out they were taking damon daunno out for the obc and adding reeve#the only thing id ever seen or heard him in at that point was the live action rocky horror with laverne cox#and he was fucking riffraff#i was mad!!! i didnt think he could do it!!! but i love the show and i gave him a chance and now hes my all time favorite#between both touring casts ive seen and the pre bway cast recording and jordan fisher#just please stop being mean and give him a chance
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I owe hoyo my life for adding new poses to photo mode oh my god.
#genshin posting again yes#but omg its amazing bcs trying to take ss of a character's attack is impossible#like always has the ui in the way#i guess yu could get a friend to help?#but them actually adding cool poses is soooooooo good omg#its so funny all the other characters thay got poses this ssn are pretty boring imo?#like they're all just standing there#i think actually xiangling's is prob the 2nd best?#and then they give raiden the sickest pose ever#they know us so well bcs as soon as i obtained it i started going around inazuma trying to find the best photo location#PLS HOYO GIVE MIKO AN EQUALLY GOOD POSE I BEG I BEG#theres so many little options rn 😔 im so glad raiden got one and the best of the bunch#i just need them to give every electro woman a sick pose#could you imagine a miko one w the tails from her ult.....#or a clorinde one with one of her poses from her skill#at first im like thats silly theyre adding poses cause i first thought it meant poses for the pfps#and now this is the best thing thats ever happened to me#tho im punching the wall abt how you basically cant take any pics in the imaginarium theater room :(#i think the only comparable pics i have to these are when i got Eula#my pics of her are actuallt pretty good#genshin impact#catie.rambling.txt
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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the fuck do you mean I have to leave....
#like. i fully knew this would happen#but the moment is just. so disheartening#'what if we lose the best of our generation' girl so i wasnt the best... cause you just sent me out with low expectations....#<- ngl this fits my character... but at what cost#the way i characterize lori (my vault dweller) is that shes jokey and shes fun and she doesnt take things too seriously#shes had sort of an 'adventuring spirit' and was mostly skilled with weapons and thats why she was sent out#and like. everything was silly to her in the wasteland until her companion (katya) died under the cathedral. then it became too real#and the master conversation traumatized her a bit cause like. here is the creature that caused suffering. and now its real and its so much#more horrible than she was taking it as#also the masters body horror freaked her OUT. cause supermutants etc seemed like just... altered humans. just enemies or just a person#but the master (even tho technically posthuman) was something else entirely#and it became so real and she got a huge reality check and she cant look at anything the same#if not for the master shed probably get back to the vault and keep going in and out. but after the cathedral? she just wanted to go home#safe underground with normal people. maybe nobody would understand her but at least she wouldn't be in that horrible world out there#maybe shed even go with ian and tycho and maybe even dogmeat. and they could be safe from freaks and zealots. but no#when she finally did want to go home - she got locked out. reminded that she was never the best of the generation#and when she finally became that and saved everyone - shes still wrong. not good enough -> too good and too much#shed be a bad influence. she was meant to do the job she was given and shut up and be thrown away when she fulfilled her duty#which ties into her never really doing a job - she doublecrosses gizmo and that maltese falcon guy and the adytum guy etc etc#even when she gets tandi back she goes back to murder everyone there (raiders) though she said she wouldn't#but before it was silly. she was being smart and having fun adventuring even if it got difficult sometimes#but the master was real. katyas death was real. ian almost died. everyone who ever agreed to help her either died or almost died (followers#and bos paladins#)#like shit. lori was NOT meant to be that deep........#also i have thoughts on aria (vault dweller i played before the save got corrupted and i had to abandon him) but there less formed#because when i had to stop playing him and make lori he was only at necropolis for the 1st time#oh my god.... this too ties into lori being always secondary#my poor girl.... i think she died young#young as in like. 30-40
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💀
#my bros fiance and i speaking spanish and giggling and hes like “HEY THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO PLOTTING?”#“I HATE IT WHEN YOU 2 TALK SHIT AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.”#then little bro you should've taken spanish in high school like i did#and got adopted by a few aunties in the community#i still cant speak it well for shit and if its spoke rapidly i can catch pieces#but i can read it pretty well even though i fuck up the grammar#anyway his fiance is like “BABY RELAX WE'RE JUST MESSING AROUND”#“I KNOW MY SIS. I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT INHERITED GREAT UNCLE JERRYS MANGO.”#“IF SHE WANTED TO STEAL YOU AWAY I KNOW SHE COULD FUCKING DO IT.”#HEHEHEHE HE CAUGHT ONTO MY PLAN#kidding kidding 😂#my future sis in law is wonderful and theyre a lovely couple shes the best thing thats happened to him#i just like fucking around and finding out yknow?#as for the mango piece our great uncle jerry was...popular#he was a ladies guy and might've been bi too#when my bro started showing signs he had the gift everyone was happy but come to find out i got it too and commence pearl clutching#at least i used my charisma powers for good a la helping my friends get hooked up with people unlike my bro#anyway point to this is BRO ADMITTED I OUTCLASS HIS ASA MUWAHAHAHA!!#20 SOMETHING YEARS IVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR HIM ADMIT IT#im better!#LMAO#🎶i got more rizzz than yyyOOOOOuuuuuuuu🎶#need a tag for when i share something personal that makes me happy#not magenta but some other pink#anyway im good at flirting but if they flirt back or it gets too weirdly intense: jay.exe stopped working#needs strong emotional connection to continue subscription#stars#cant do it#not today!#not ever actually
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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Amazing how it took the developers of Poppy Playtime two whole chapters to finally make a bare minimum of a functional game
#like yeah its leagues above the previous chapters but thats because the previous chapters were a hittily put together sloppy buggy mess that#shouldnt have been released in the way that they are right now. Chapter 3 is what chapter 1 should have been like#and yeah it's still a cashgrab at heart. its so distateful that they already made merch for chapter 3 that you could buy BEFORE it even#released. theyre 100% money driven. but at least if chapter 4 improves even more on what was in chapter 3 i think it can be a decent game#i dont think it can ever be a GOOD game because of what a disaster of two first chapters it has. not unless they completely rework them. and#with its story reaching its end slowly i doubt there even is time to make it a good game even if the last chapters are amazing in quality.#even if the last chapters are GREAT (which i doubt) it will never be anything else than a highly mixed medicore at best game. because it'll#always have this shitty developer studios' greed and the shitshow that were the first 2 chapters weighing it down#honestly. if chapter 3 or something akin to it was the first thing that was released of this game i would have actually liked it. yeah it#wouldnt be GREAT but it'd be decent and enjoyable. but instead it has its garbage first chapters staining what it could have been. it's#insane that I even have to praise a developer studio for delivering a BARE MINIMUM of a game. what the fuck is this. what happened to the#state of games. its shameful that releasing a barely functional nothing burger and charging for it became acceptable in any way#that aside even chapter 3 could improve in many areas. it feels more like a puzzle game with horror elements rather than a horror game with#puzzle elements. every time you get to a puzzle the game just halts to a complete stop. all the suspence they could have gotten just#completely dies on the spot. ive played and watched many horror games with puzzles in them and i like them a lot but this is just not how#you do that. it feels like youre walking from puzzle to a puzzle and all the interesting things that happen with actual substance happen in#between puzzles but instead of focusing on that it feels like the game focuses on the puzzles. it should be the other way around damn it#but i think if chapter 4 keeps the overall quality of chapter 3 and ups the scares while dailing down the puzzles or incorporating them#better into the atmosphere and story it might actually be a good horror game. well that chapter at least.#also ik the monster designs are very...mascot horror and analogue horror cliches but i actually enjoy them. Mummy Longlegs was medicore and#forgetful like the rest of her chapter and her only saving grace was her death scene. Huggy Wuggy's (god what a name) design and animations#and chase sequence were the only good thing of chapter 1 so i think if it was put into something of much better quality then it could#actually hold up. And I really like CatNap's design for some reason. The way he moves is creepy and yeah the face design is goofy as hell#but i can forgive it. i like that the fumes he releases makes you see him as a far creepier monster than he is that took me by surprise.#Also his death scene FUCKED severely by far the best scene in the entire game imo. Also I actually enjoyed his story? i cant believe im#saying this but chapter 3 and analogue horror videos actually got me interested in this game's story and where it will go. Insane.#and speaking of the analogue horror videos they made are good. WAY too good. I dont trust like that. They for sure hired somebody to make#them for them theres no way in hell they didnt. But yeah thats my opinion on this series. Over all not a good game and a complete cash grab#dont buy it there are way better games out there even in the mascot horror genere. But the quality did go up and it gets me hopeful#anyway my impromtu poopy playtime review's over
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i just struggle to believe theres any ethical way to harvest meat. farm animal dying of old age? yeah. ok. sure. but farm animals aren't going to be perpetually dying of old age enough to fulfill the demand for their meats. you can make better and more convincing arguments to me for ethically harvesting eggs, wool and milk rather than meat.
#eggs? just supplement the chickens diet with more diverse foods to make up for the nutrients lost that they would otherwise have#if they were left to consume their own unfertile eggs#wool? well unfortunately we've already bred sheep to constantly grow wool so you kinda have to shear them for their own wellbeing#milk's a little harder to convince me w. but as long as you're not taking more than the calf needs then it should be generally ok.#the true crime however is how aurochs went extinct so that humans could benefit from them.#i don't think you can convince me that genetically altering animals for human benefit was ever a good idea. but we're here already.#so we gotta figure it out. i'm still disgusted about how we got here.#give me a convincing reason not to be. i do not marvel at the 'greatness and intellect of humanity' because all I see is people#using these animals as a means to an end. it feels the same to me as genetically altering dogs till they can hardly function.#wish people would just admit that this endeavor was done by the selfishness of humanity rather than try to fluff it up with#'well the animals can benefit too !!!' yeah but who benefits more and why do they deserve to benefit more#its fine to admit its done for self serving reasons. i'd respect you more if you did admit it.#humans do a lot of things for self serving reasons. the worst is when humans try to convince themselves thats Not the reason they#did something so blatantly self serving.#i think a lot of progressive types struggle to accept when they do things for self serving reasons. im not gonna pull a 'humans are#inherently selfish' on you but selfishness is very much a core part of being human and an animal in general. it's not what defines#us and it's not our only trait. we are a social species after all so it doesnt serve us to be purely selfish#but we do be being selfish still. we're not gonna be able to fully escape that behavior. you're not gonna be able to escape being#selfish by virtue of calling yourself progressive. it's impossible. just do your best to not be selfish but also dont deny when you are#honesty with yourself and what you're like is important. you're never going to be a pure perfect good moral person ever.#and convincing yourself all your actions are ones of Morality is Not the way you should go about ANYTHING ever#its why instead of letting yourself be kinda sad about an animal having to die to feed you you somehow try to convince yourself#that the animal wanted it or needed it or benefited somehow. it didn't. and thats ok to acknowledge. you're not an inhuman monster#for eating a dead animal. that doesn't mean it cant be sad. that doesn't mean you dont pay your respects. be sad it happened#and at the same time thankful for the animal feeding you. dont skip with glee about its sacrifice bc thats just fuckin.... weird...#a lil unhinged......... 'im so glad you're dying for me :)))))))' like.... girl what#not that you cant be happy to be fed just like.... dont sound like a serial killer about it in your inner monologue.............
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Bruh. Self... Analyzing and reflecting on past relationships is.... Rough
#miranda talking shit#I mean i can see what i did wrong easily i have since early after but... Only recently really thought#Hard about the other party... And im like.... Oh thats.... There was quite a bit huh :')#I mean i hate talking ill of others and i know no one ever does something to me on purpose but man....#My ex's insecurities really ... Have effected me a lot lol. Not like she was the only one who have made me feel some of the things#I felt. But it was worse bc it was... Her... My partner... Ya know? And now im like ah... That... Yeah#I never thought about how probably jealous she was? Of my bestfriend. She have done many small comments#About how much i talked about her and how much time i spent with her etc... I wasnt out partying or anything such for me i just spent time#With my best friend. And i remember how my ex had said at one point something like 'you really spend a lot of time with her'#I mean... I did. She was my bestfriend? But not until recently i think my ex was probably jealous... And its... I tried to adjust to her?#Like at the time i didnt see i did. But i did distance myself after she said such things bc i felt like i needed to appease her?#Meanwhile i mean. She was out at more social gatherings and parties. I cant remember me saying much else than#Have fun and be safe! Whenever she went. I was never worried that she would get with someone else or something?#I.... Trusted her in that way. I never saw that as an problem. But now i see she uh...probably didnt trust me in that way?#I cant say she was jealous like actually thought i was being unfaithful or something. But like yeah.#A lot of things werent great in our relationship but that thing i think impacted me the most. Bc it made me feel i was being...#Idk if i didnt give all my time to her she couldn't believe in me or feel safe with me? Yeah something like that#I mean i felt envy in the form of 'i wish i could spend time with her irl like others' so rather 'god wish that was me' but i never thought#Her being out with others and having fun was... Bad. I never sat and imagined things happening. I just hoped she had fun and that she was#Safe. I have my own insecurities. Had way more back then but for me it was not... I couldn't trust her to be faithful?#Or that i felt uneasy that she wasnt spending time with me... But i think that she felt that way and its... Sad. Not that she was controlin#Or super bad but like... She could make comments that were hinting at me talking or spending too much time with my bestfriend#I mean she did indirectly also pressure me in the intimate department by saying things that made me feel guilty#Glad i didn't just 'give in' in the end just bc she wanted to. That would be on brand for me but no i didnt#She made me realize how much trust is important to me. In intimate matters and overall. I probably didn't feel like she trusted me like i
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When writing, did you ever suffer from a fear or underdelivering or misrepresenting a topic? If you did, how did you overcome it? I enjoy writing but rarely bring it to the public out of fear that I am either not doing good enough or badly portraying the themes or aspects of what I write.
Absolutely, and on the one hand it's a very healthy fear - it prompts you to do your research and be thoughtful in how you write. On the other hand you've just got to accept that occasionally it will happen. Inculturation is a hell of a thing, and leaves us all with a thousand kneejerk preconceptions and perceptions of the world, some benign and some downright awful. And sometimes they crop up no matter how thoughtful you try to be. And you gotta understand that when it happens and people call you on it, you just have to take your lumps and learn what you can from it.
It doesn't help, of course, that the words you write are only ever half of what your audience reads: five people reading the same book are reading five different books, each filtering the text through a lifetime of psychology and experience. And they will find themes and problems in there you never even considered, and they will also find resonances and beauty in your work that you could never have foreseen.
At the end of the day, writing stuff thats meaningful to you (hell, writing anything at all) is a messy, bruising business, and anybody who tells you there are simple solutions or clear rules to follow is either lying to you or to themselves.
But you can't let it paralyse you. Its like if you're playing football and you're worried about falling over. It's a reasonable fear and you should do your best to avoid it, but occasionally it's gonna happen, and unless you want to spend the whole game just standing still in a field, you've kinda just got to get on with it. Just try not to be one of those writers who's always taking dives and... screaming for the ref to get a free kick? Hm. That analogy may have gotten away from me. I don't actually know much about football.
Point is, I'm aware that this isn't the most reassuring writing advice I've ever given, but yeah, its a messy, scary business. Just do your best. Be thoughtful. Be kind. And always do your research.
#Sorry for the ramble#One if those things I've thought a lot about#And still don't have any simple answers#That writing I guess
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man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[
#or even second tbh I'll take it#i had a couple old friends from college msg me recently to tell me what theyve been up to#which is sweet and i care abt them n wanna hear it! but they dont ask after me or show any interest in how I'm doing#and it makes me feel like I'm just their journal or smth. a brick wall they happen to be standing near#don't get me wrong I love to be useful. but when ppl only ever interact w u bc they need smth from u. well.#rly not doing anything good for this complex im developing where my self worth is directly tied to my usefulness to other ppl lmfao#i dont want to be ppls fucking dog!! or not any more than i already am but whatever thats all im good for i guess!!#and i desperately want someone to be my fave person rn bc all my energy is going nowhere + im at my best when im at my most devoted#so ppl treating me like this rn is just making me incredibly vulnerable to being taken advantage of.#like yeah i am eager to please and ill follow anyone around and do whatever for a crumb of attention but maybe#if you're actually my friend u shouldnt be encouraging that behaviour. even if it makes u feel good like cmon thats not so cool man#or if you ARE going to encourage it then maybe u should acknowledge the power dynamic ur creating + try not to abuse it. idk 🤷♂️#urgh idk maybe im just saying words rn im very tired#I just feel like all the friendships etc I have atm are slipping into that dangerously unbalanced zone + becoming v one way#and I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm trying the best I can and I guess its just not enough for anyone and that really really sucks#I'm doing better mentally rn but I dont currently have a support system + there are a lot of destabilising forces in my life#so im just. worried abt the direction things could take if I lose this foothold I've dragged myself onto yknow.#and I wouldnt have to be so worried abt that all of the time if I just had someone literally anyone I could rely on or even trust#but oh well. it is what it is. doing all I can to take care of myself so hopefully it won't come to that anyway.#sorry for rambling on so much if u read this far I'm giving u a kiss on the cheek don't worry abt me honey I've got this#anywayy goodnight#.vent#.diaries
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oh goodness! hi vee! i know its a little bit late, but can I ask for 6 on your oc ask game?
wowie zowie hi person who Definitely isnt just me on anon!!! i absolutely can thank you for asking!!!
so thats my guy chucklefuck and ive been looping this song for a WHILE so its their song now!!
i know for a fact i have Not gotten the chance to talk about chucklefuck here so im gonna be using this as an excuse to talk about them a bunch! basically theyre. best adapted to be a ttrpg campaign character, for one. but theyre a spy bot created by The Main Oppressive Regime to mislead their peers, as well as spy on them and report back. so basically if i played them id be rolling bluff checks every 5 seconds because of their other main gimmick: they think theyre the funniest bitch in the world. see to avoid suspicion they elect to play under the "beep boop, i am a robot" facade. this is Incredibly fucking funny to them bc. yknow the gags where a robot character will do some faux pas or embarrass another character in the party but its not like they Meant to they didnt know any better. well. yeah this guy definitely knew better and they are Living It Up.
im not gonna explain their whole Deal but i will say that i think they Will eventually get found out bc they cant bullshit forever and thats where i think the song fits bc they kindaaa. only exist to be in service of CapitalismCorp Incorporated and havent had enough freedom ever to really think of this as a Bad thing really. theyve got this Delight at watching the world burn and they know that includes them but they sure don't care! why would they?
#they are kinda highly variable bc again they work best in a group and i sure dont have enough ocs to make that happen#so if i ever found a techy enough ttrpg id Jump at the chance to adapt them to that#because i aaaam obsessed with them a bit#btw for the million dollar question their name is not actually chucklefuck#a big Thing abt them is that they do not have a name save for a serial number (gasp vee making a character with name shenans???)#and id probably just ask the other players to name them#which is risky but it cant be any worse than chucklefuck#i thought itd be fun if by the time they get found out theyve already internally flipped allegiances but like thats again variable#and if they get found out before that we'd have a cool fun villain moment for them#so its a win win either way#i do think that being in a group is good for them though especially being given a name (given that it doesnt suck)#bc they are lackadaisy about their own self worth so i think itd be fun to see them being treated somewhat like a person#and having a heh wow you all are Dumb internal moment but cant say theyre not touched by it#eh anyway this one specifically is very variable. i wish i had more friends so i could play them#i need more antagonistic ocs i have 2. maybe 2.5 mack is an antagonist from any pov that isnt his#also they get to be in a fun corner next to morty and hero where i have no goddamn clue what they look like and im in hell#i do want them to have an eye motif though bc theyre the only concept rn i think i can make have one#shrugs. shrugs.#also yes i did message myself I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY GUY!!#blorbos from my brain#veespeaks
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