#“but if this is what you want why speak of right and wrong? you still go in for the kill”

[mrsarnold]

ambessa x reader who has a toddler OR

vi x pregnant!reader

be my be my baby !. ۫ ꣑ৎ .

syn : pregannt hcs with arcane girls!

pair : arcane girls x fem!reader

warn : none! pure fluff, idk what else

note : i couldn't choose one so why not all, thank @heart4caitlin for helping me bless u king

when jinx finds out she was excited. you told her through a carving when she was teaching you how to make stuff with wood. jinx is the type of person to make mostly everything for the baby. she's also extremely protective btw, like goes crazy when she cant find you because she doesnt want you or the baby hurt, and also because shes scared you left her.

i also feel like jinx would be like REALLY overwhelmed with knowing her s/o is pregnant especially if its after silco died. jinx would try to make baby bombs for the baby but they were a huge no once you found out

i can vision her talking and painting the baby bump too. plans on teaching her child everything that she knows with building and refuses reader to buy the baby clothes and essentials bc jinx wants to make everything. she also refuses reader to but the baby clothes and essentials bc jinx wants to make everything

also she would be incharge decorating the babies room and has her signature everywhere and little monkies.

when vi finds out i feel how the way you would tell vi is the normal way and just showing her the test i fear.. vi definitely falls asleep with her hand on your bump aswell as telling the baby bump stories about her childhood adventures while reader is sleeping. adding onto that vi would ban allowing reader to let the baby have anything similar to her childhood adventures because she doesn't want the poor baby growing up in consent danger.

vi naming the baby the most outrageous names, 'oo we should name them cookie', 'how about brownie', 'chicken wing?', 'NO VI', 'what why :((('. shes the type to fist bump readers belly and she claims the baby kicks her as to fist bump her back. you would want vi to wrap the bow trend on her belly ( iykyk the trend ) and vi would brag about it.

vi making jinx build everything bc vi is to 'busy' buying everything online meanwhile she still freaking out ab being a good mother or not :((. she would aswell beg cait for some help. she would also want to do everything for you, making food (which she sucks at), massaging her feet.

when cait finds out i feel you would do one of those aesthetic boxes thingys and give it to cait and cait is over the moon. cait definitely plans EVERYTHING out. researching for the best doctors around, scheduling every appointment, baby proofing the house, making sure she has everything for the delivery cait would definitely keep the pregnancy on the down low until the baby is born especially from her mom but it was to late when the baby was borm ( iykyk )

caitlyn buying the most expensive and useful stuff for the baby after you convinced her not to. cait also reads first time parenting books just in case and tells you new facts everyday! buying reader expensive but comfy maternal clothes so reader feels better about this situation

OH and speaking of her mom, telling the bump about stories of her mom before she sleeps

when sevika finds out i feel she would find out on date night. she tried to order you wine then you admitted it right there and then. first things first we can agree.. shes so protective oh my gosh, the second anyone looks at you shes killing them. she also fixes everything around the house for you and the baby. she also loves loves feeling the baby kick but hates seeing you in pain so tells the baby to stop.

she also tells silco about the baby and makes him the god father before he dies. speaking of silco ! she tells the baby stories of silco after he dies. also tells the baby stories of jinx's shaninagans 24/7. once again makinv jinx build everything for the baby while she goes around and tell all of zaun if she sees one of them even look at reader wrong she'll kill them i fear

when ambessa finds out i feel you would be nervous to tell her because ambessa is always busy so ambessa finds out by herself. she also gets the most perfect cooks for you and the baby. she's very nervous to tell Mel at first but tells her eventually when its blantly obvious. shes also gets the best designers to design the baby's room.

she also talks to the bump about kino all the time lets be real

[mckinlily]

So I’m a woman in STEM, and in physics specifically that has some of the worse gender ratios out of all the sciences and right there with most engineering fields that I also worked closely with. All through my undergrad, I was told I was so lucky there were “maybe up to 10?” girls in my classes, instead of being the ONLY girl in the classroom like it was for my professors.

But you see, this wasn’t because men didn’t want women in physics. They did!! It was just women were socialized differently so they didn’t end succeeding as much (if they even tried at all—a pipeline problem that was not under the physicists’ control).

There were plenty of ways this showed up, but a big one was “Oh men don’t listen to women just because they don’t talk right.” See, women phrase their thoughts and contributions with “I think” or “I feel” or “Maybe it’s…” while men will just blast you with their opinions like it’s the word of god or some shit “ACTUALLY ITS THIS WAY”. See, it’s women’s soft way of speaking that actually disempowers themselves. Men would listen to them right away if they were just assertive. Just writing this out makes me want to puke, and very early on I was calling bullshit on it. Primarily on two accounts: 1) Why is it the woman’s communication style automatically Wrong and the man’s way is Right? Why don’t we accuse men of being failed communicators because they don’t communicate like women? Especially when both styles have advantages? Why do the men get to be assumed superior? And 2) we all know the term for an assertive woman: it’s BITCH.

But even while I could see all that bullshit, I was still pulled in by the underlying premise: if you’re just good enough—if you’re smart enough, experienced enough, competent enough, and confident enough—you will be let in and treated with respect.

So I tried to be as smart and competent and infallible as possible believing that if I did that, I would earn that respect.

Until one day, I actually managed it. I became a subject matter expert at my company. I had enough knowledge and experience to stand out among everyone else. And I did it fast. I learned more and faster than my other colleagues until I was the go-to person for multiple huge projects, even being relatively young. I was more competent, more efficient, more confident—finally able to go toe-to-toe with my male colleagues, even ones with more years of experience, on their level because I got that good.

And they treated me like SHIT.

It sucked being treated like an inferior, but it was 1000 times worse when they couldn’t believe I was inferior anymore and therefore treated me like a threat. Even the other women were less eager to back me up. The antagonism, the put downs, the way they kept me out of key conversations relevant to my job, the constant lying and gaslighting, the retaliation—

Turns out, they never meant to treat women like equals. But they held that promise out like a dangling carrot, convinced no woman could *actually* match that standard. And when one did, when I beat them at it, ALLLLL the nastiness came spewing out.

And this from guys who I had previously thought if it were decently ok!

Women act the way they do because that “female socialization” isn’t anything cute or passive or harmless. It is vicious backlash whenever they don’t—often violent backlash. Women are intelligent humans with brains very competent in opportunity v risk analysis. And if you’re a woman looking to survive or just minimize self harm—you learn very quickly which behaviors will protect you and which will get you attacked.

Don’t you dare criticize women for choosing the behaviors that are least likely to make them the targets of your cruelty and violence And girls, don’t internalize this idea that women’s ways are inferior or weak. Do what you need to do, whether that’s saving your energy for what you really care about, or throwing out patriarchy’s rules and taking the lumps that come with that. There’s no right answer when the system is built so that you’re always wrong.

Women do things that make sense. Women have always been just as logical as any human when presented with the facts of their lives which they know intimately.

Was it worth it to work hard, fight hard, and stand up for myself at my job? I don’t know. It wasn’t the “feminine” thing. It didn’t succeed in granting me the respect I wanted. It made life a lot harder for me, really. But I also found out that I’m a lot stronger and more skilled than I thought I was. I learned a lot of cool science.

And I left that job. Because I could see there was no path left for me to be respected that.

TLDR: Women aren’t “assertive” because men turn into raging lunatic de-aged monsters when they are. That’s some pretty strong negative reinforcement

a lot of behaviors that get attributed to "female socialization" can be so much more easily and accurately understood as a person recognizing the power differential surrounding them and behaving sensibly in response to that.

like. does a woman politely listen to a man monologue at her because of some experience she had when she was twelve that magically cursed her to behave that way forever, or does she do it because the man has the power to hurt her and she knows it?

does a woman do all the dishes in her household because she is less capable of breaking out of a long-ago conditioned response than, like, your average trained dog, or is she doing that because she knows that all the men in the house will blame her if she doesnt and will make life worse for her if she speaks up?

maybe a lot of sexist patterns of behavior that are widely observed in society arent caused by women like, lacking willpower or backbone? maybe it is super fucking weird for supposedly feminist movements to imply this is the case when they talk about female socialization as the end all, be all of predicting human behavior?

isnt it both more useful and more respectful toward women to consider that they are perceiving their present circumstances accurately, and recognize when power is already being wielded against them, and take logical measures to deescalate and protect themselves because it works? is it not fucking clear to everybody that trans women in particular have to do this all the fucking time?

[tatsumessy]

Graduation Confessions - {Katsuki Bakugou}

“hey idiot, you going to the graduation party?” you turned around confused wondering why Bakugou was talking to you. “uh yeah I was going to go. why what’s up?” he grumbled something sticking his hands in his pockets before turning away slightly. “just wondering if ya wanted a ride or something. I only have shitty hair and kirishima in my car.” you smiled at his statement.

“if you don’t mind.” he shook his head no and you followed him outside towards his car where the other two were waiting. after some brief arguing then the conversation ending with bakugou yelling, you ended up in the passenger seat with kirishima and kaminari in the back seat. the venue was a karaoke bar with BYOB, when you arrived everyone was already one shot in and mineta was singing miley cyrus while trying to swing from the light fixture.

the only spots available were at the end of the booth next to the door so bakugou and you were forced to sit next to each other. you sat with your legs crossed while he leaned back against the booth backing and had his legs spread open ultimately squishing you between him and ojiro. both of you had gotten a drink somehow and were now just siting in silence watching everyone have fun.

“have you decided which agency you’re gonna go to?” he asked out of the blue and at first it was difficult to hear him but you understood. “yeah, edgeshot offered me a side kick position at his agency. what about you?” “I can’t become the number one hero if i’m working under some old hag who’s just going to get in my way.” you covered your mouth laughing at his response, that sounded like him and you shouldn’t have expected less.

for the most part of the night you and him talked about the future and reminiscing on the past couple years at UA. after a couple hours passed you decided that you needed air, all of your class being stuffed into a medium sized room and then constantly moving around while also being drunk generates a bunch of unwanted heat. walking outside the cold air was a relief as it blew against your skin, you leaned against one of the buildings pillars and stared up at the sky watching the scenery. the door behind you opened up with a loud creaking noise and when you turned to see who it was you saw that it was bakugou.

“let me guess. kaminari is too drunk to see reason and tried to kiss you.” he scoffed not wanting to admit that it was true. he rolled his eyes leaning against the pillar as well staring infront of him, he occasionally glanced over at you and in that moment every little detail and feature he never paid attention too became noticeable. he was staring so much you thought something was wrong with your face.

“what is it?” you asked him covering your face just in case there was some food in your teeth. “nothing.” he mumbled staring out infront of him. “damn it’s getting cold.” you say softly with a dreading expression, you also didn’t want to go back into the room just to get hot all over again. “hay bakugou…could we sit in your car for a few minutes?” “ehh? why? if you’re cold go ba-” he couldn’t finish his sentence with seeing your pouting expression, he sighed in annoyance and pulled out his keys unlocking the car.

you opened the passenger side door and got in rubbing your hands together as he turned the car on. “my gosh it just got cold all of a sudden” you say trying to break the awkward silence, “it’s been cold your dumbass just didn’t realize it. are ya still cold?” you shook your head no, you reached your hand out clasping both of your hands over his right hand feeling how warm it was. “oh my gosh is this because of your quirk…? are your hands always this warm? and…sweaty-”

you watch as the tips of his ears grow pink and you smile at him not wanting to make him uncomfortable. “sorry…” you pull your hands away your face flushed slightly as you both looked away from each other. after a few moments you decided to speak up, “i guess this is the right time to do this- I don’t know when it started but i’ve had a crush on you for as long as i can remember.” you sat there staring at the side of his face for a moment before speaking again.

“I don’t expect you to like me back…i don’t think we’ve actually had a conversation until tonight.” you sigh not seeing any reaction from him. he just stares at you with an unreadable expression, that was until his face even under the night glow brightened up from embarrassment. “you idiot.” he covered his face a bit annoyed for the way his. oft isn’t cooperating the way he wants. “don’t tell me-” “shut up you idiot!” he yelled looking away from you.

“katsuki…” you slowly slid your hand into his and without looking at you he interlocked your fingers and held your hand tightly. he looked over at you seeing the smile on your face, he rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat just pulling out his phone to keep himself distracted from the fact that he was holding his crushes hand right now. yeah it was true the both of you hadn’t really spoken much in the years of being at UA. but the small interaction that you both did have seemed to do much of the both of you were sitting in his car like blushing idiots.

after a while you both decided to go back inside, you’re walking up to the door and he pulls it open waiting for you to walk through. you stand there still holding his hand but stop pulling him back a little. he closed the door and you turned infront of him, looking up at him you gently grab his cheek and pull him down pressing a kiss on his lips. he hesitated for a moment shocked at the action but he quickly kissed back holding the back of your head as your mouth parted allowing him to deepen the kiss. your mouths molded together perfectly as he pushed you against the wall shielding your head with his hand not caring for any pain.

“katsu-” you try to speak and catch your breath but all he did was capture your lips in another fated kiss not wanting this moment to end. you knew the both of you were drinking but you thought you both had the same amount of drinks…he was definitely intoxicated which if you were in your right mind should’ve told you to stop. “katsuki-” he pulled away staring down at you. he dropped his head onto your shoulder letting out a frustrated sigh.

“you smell good.” he mumbled into your shoulder as his arms wrapped around your waist and he leaned against you not wanting to stand up straight. he was more afraid of you seeing his blushing face than your whole class coming out and catching the both of you like this. “you’re cute when you’re drunk.” “shut up idiot”

comments and and repost are appreciated lovelies

[glossykissies]

no one can tell me scott's solution to an attitude problem isn't an orgasm!!! worst mood ever and he's already backing you against wtv surface and lulling you into it with his voice - 🍓

okay but this with babydaddy!scott.

your one free day, and you’ve had one million things to do — most of them going wrong in some way, costing you money or just plain stressing you out. it’s times like this you dwell on not being in a relationship with scott, living together. yes he works alot, but he’d still be able to help you out — and at this point you would have taken anything. oh well, you’d made that choice.

evening falls, and speak of the devil — the door bell is ringing.

scott stands alone at the door, looking casual if not tired himself — and revved up from the day, you don’t even give him a chance to speak.

“wheres the baby? scott where is my baby— i told you not to leave her in the car so she better not be—” you go to shove past him, body on high alert and he effortlessly grabs you by the shoulders, rolling his eyes as he walks you back inside.

“shes with my mom, remember? i mean i did literally tell you.” he’s sassy with his response, letting go of you to close the door behind him with his foot and rubbing a stressed hand over his face. you relax instantly — despite everything, scott’s mother was good. you could tell she’d been waiting for a baby to come around, a toss up between scott and his younger siblings all similar in age. she was alot gentler in nature — it was his father that scott was more alike. strict, business-minded, sarcastic.

“right…” you sigh, wiping your hands down your clothes. “so what do you want? why are you here?” it comes out snappier than intended yet again, and scott blinks. it wasn’t often he was thrown off guard, usually able to take whatever attitude you throw at him and double it — but this wasn’t like you. you were soft, sweet, polite. he takes the moment to eye you, stress in your body language, shoulders tense, clothes and hair a little disheveled. you were still beautiful, but you didn’t look like you were doing too good.

“asked me last week to fix that bathroom cabinet. i’m here now. ring any bells?” he shakes his head and you fiddle with your fingers, breathing all heavy. you didn’t even look like you heard what he just said, just blinking as he watches the cogs in your brain turn, mind in a million places.

“uh…” you’re distracted, trying to shake yourself out of it and he sighs.

“are you gonna tell me what’s wrong or do i have to pull it out of you?” he deadpans and you swallow, resolve crumbling a little as your posture shrinks.

“i’m fine. just tired. baby was up all n—”

“you’re stressed. you keep clenching up your fists, your jaws all tight, could probably crack a walnut between your ass cheeks right now. why didn’t you ask me to help?” he folds his arms, accusatory — brows raised and expectant. your fists only clench tighter and your knee wobbles like you want to stomp your foot petulantly.

“i don’t need it.” your voice cracks a little.

“you need a break.” he tells you off, louder than you, sternly and you pout, eyes on his shoes. “when was the last time you touched yourself?” his voice quietened once more, and he asks like it was a regular question — like he was asking when the last time you ate was.

“wh— scott?”

“tell me.”

“i dont — when i was pregnant? maybe? i don’t see how that’s —”

scott sets his bag down, before walking at you, gently backing you up until your ass hits the little table that held the lamp beside the couch. “so too long?” he shrugs, mouth turned downwards as he starts to work at tugging up the sundress you just tugged on this morning.

“scott!” you whine, and you try to sound defiant — but it’s the whinyness in your tone that tells him everything. that lilting, high pitched mewl that he missed hearing — telling him just how badly you needed to cum.

“dont wanna hear it. you know you could have just called. i would have fixed that attitude while the babies down for thirty.” he shakes his head, rubbing his fingers familiarly over your comfy, mesh, baby pink panties— arousal already beginning to smear through the gusset just from his stern-talking-to at the door. “yeah. there you go.” you clutch his biceps for support, table wobbling under your ass as you melt— a whimpery sigh deflating from your chest.

that big hand of his slots itself inside the material, rough finger tips working you over and pushing inside after spreading your arousal and you groan, your big, tall babydaddy practically holding all your weight without breaking a sweat as he presses his lips together in concentration, trying to find that spot. “mmph— scotty!” it slips out, the affectionate rendition of his name you’d always call him when you were together. his heart skips a little and cock chubs against his thigh.

“feeling better already, aren’t you? atta girl.”

[unpublishediary]

Why didn’t you tell me?percy jackson x injured reader. (hurt/comfort) Part 2

part one ✵ part two

✵ synopsis: after a fight on the Argo II, reader tries to hide their injury but Percy is determined to find out what’s wrong… he figures it out, but hopes he wasn’t too late

✵ interest: percy jackson (HOO)

✵ warnings: mentions of blood, pain, loss of appetite, isolation, loss of consciousness, and leo.

MASTERLIST

Consciousness returned like a gentle tide, bringing with it the soft rhythm of nearby breathing. Your eyelids felt leaden, and when you finally managed to pry them open, the infirmary's muted light was a blessing to your sensitive eyes.

Percy was there, but not how you expected. He wasn't slumped in sleep or pacing with worry, he was just... staring. Sitting perfectly still in the chair beside your bed, his sea-green eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your breath catch.

His jaw was set, hands clasped so tightly together his knuckles had gone white, and you couldn't read his expression. You'd never seen him like this before, caught between anger and something else, something raw and vulnerable that made your heart twist.

When you tried to shift position, a deep ache flared through your side. His eyes tracked the movement, and something in him finally broke.

"Six hours," he said, voice low and rough. "You were out for six hours."

You tried to speak, but your throat was too dry. Without breaking his stare, he reached for the water glass, helping you take small sips. The gentleness of his movements contrasted sharply with the storm brewing in his eyes.

"Percy—" you started.

"No." The glass clicked against the side table. "You don't get to—" He stood abruptly, running both hands through his hair. "Do you have any idea what—" He cut himself off, turning away, then whirling back. "You were bleeding out. Right in front of me. And you didn't say anything."

The last words came out as a shout, echoing off the infirmary walls. You flinched, and instantly saw regret flash across his face.

"I'm sorry," you whispered. "I didn't want to—"

"To what? Trust me?" His voice cracked on the words. "To let me help you? Gods, when you collapsed, I thought—" He broke off again, dropping heavily back into the chair. All the anger seemed to drain out of him at once, leaving something much more fragile in its wake.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he said quietly, not meeting your eyes now. "And the worst part was knowing you didn't even think you could tell me. After everything we've..."

The silence stretched between you, heavy with things unsaid. When he finally looked up, the vulnerability in his expression took your breath away.

"I can't lose you," he admitted, barely above a whisper. "Not like that. Not ever." His hand found yours, tentative at first, then holding on like an anchor. "Next time you're hurt, you tell me. I don't care if it's a paper cut or a broken bone. Promise me."

You nodded, throat tight with emotion. "I promise."

Some of the tension finally eased from his shoulders. He didn't let go of your hand, his thumb tracing absent patterns against your skin. Neither of you spoke for a long moment, letting the quiet wash away the last echoes of anger and fear.

"Annabeth going to kill me for yelling in here," Percy finally said, a ghost of his usual smile returning.

"Probably," you agreed, feeling your own lips curve upward. "Worth it though?"

His expression softened as he looked at you, and that something deeper was back in his eyes. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Worth it."

As exhaustion started pulling you back under, you felt him shift closer, his free hand brushing hair from your forehead with impossible gentleness. The last thing you heard before sleep took you was his whispered, "I'll be right here. I promise."

The next two days in the infirmary blurred together, marked by the steady stream of visitors and Percy's constant presence. He'd only leave when someone else insisted, and even then he'd return looking like he'd barely slept, dropping back into his chair like it was the only place he wanted to be.

"You know," you said one afternoon, watching him fight to keep his eyes open, "your room probably has a more comfortable bed than that chair."

"I'm fine," he insisted, though he was practically slumped over the armrest. "Annie said you might be able to try walking today."

As if summoned, she appeared in the doorway. "Speaking of which." Annabeth crossed her arms, giving Percy a pointed look. "You're not going to be much help if you pass out from exhaustion."

"I don't pass out," Percy protested, but she was already shooing him toward the door.

"Go. Shower. Sleep. She'll still be here when you get back."

Percy hesitated at the doorway, giving you a look as you laughed at the exchange. "I promise not to do anything stupid while you're gone."

"Better not," he said softly, something warm in his eyes before he finally left.

Annabeth checked your bandages, nodding with satisfaction. "Walking should be much less painful now."

The first attempt at walking wasn't exactly graceful. Your legs felt like jelly after hours on hours in bed, and the stitches pulled uncomfortably. But Annabeth was patient, letting you lean on her as you made your way slowly across the room.

You'd barely made it halfway when familiar voices drifted in from outside.

"If you're going to hover, you might as well come in," she called out, amused.

Jason was the first through the door, followed by Leo, their faces lit up seeing you on your feet.

"Look who's vertical," Leo joked at the sight of you.

"Barely," you admitted, grateful for Annabeth’s support as your legs trembled. Jason immediately took that as his cue to support your other side.

"Baby steps," Leo said as you gave him a look, but Annabeth cut in,

“Let’s get you back to—”

"I've got her." Percy was suddenly there, like he'd materialized from thin air. His arm slipped around your waist, careful to avoid your injury as he took your weight from her. "I thought you were going to sleep," you murmured as he helped you back to bed.

"Tried. Couldn't." His voice was low enough that only you could hear. "Kept thinking..."

He didn't finish the thought, but his arm tightened slightly around you.

"Well, now that the gang's all here," Leo said once you were settled, pulling something from his bag, "movie night?"

"In the infirmary?" You raised an eyebrow.

"Come on," Percy sided with Leo. "She's been staring at these walls for days. And we'll keep it quiet." He looked toward the daughter of Athena.

Annabeth sighed the sigh of someone who knew not to fight it, "Fine.”

Once the others were gathered, everyone settled in around your bed. Including Leo perched at the foot with his laptop, Annabeth claiming the extra chair, and Percy back in his usual spot beside you. As the familiar opening credits rolled, you felt some of the lingering tension finally ease from your shoulders.

"Hey," Percy whispered, his hand weaving through you hair before finding hand in what had become a familiar gesture. "You good?"

You looked around at your friends, your family really, and squeezed his hand. "Yeah. I'm good."

His answering smile was soft, private, meant just for you. And as everyone argued about plot holes and character arcs, you realized that maybe getting hurt hadn't been the worst thing.

Sometimes it took falling apart to understand just how many people were there to help put you back together.

By the time the movie ended, you'd dozed off against Percy's shoulder, his thumb still tracing absent patterns against your skin. The last thing you registered was the quiet murmur of your friends' voices and the steady rhythm of Percy's breathing, anchoring you safely in the moment.

You were going to be okay. All of you were. And if hidden injuries caused this, maybe next time you’ll hide a paper cut.

part one ✵ part two

MASTERLIST

follow for more like this !! Thanks for reading!! And feel free to request!

[deadhands69]

Three Words

Tomura Shigaraki x Reader 

Fluff ☁️ From the First Five ask game  I'm so happy I get to start the year with Shigaraki! Requested by @shigarakislaughter, thanks Kisa!

Tomura Shigaraki wants to say he loves you, he really does. But every time he opens his mouth, everything in him freezes and the words won't come out. 

To you, it's a silly little quirk your boyfriend has. Every time you do something sweet or nice for him, he opens his mouth before suddenly closing it and biting his lip while staring at you. It's cute.

To him, it's confusing and frustrating. It's just three words. What’s wrong with him?

Love is a new feeling for Tomura. Initially, he thought he was getting sick. Feeling warm. Butterflies in his stomach. Has to be a bug. But when it didn't pass after a week, he became concerned. Hours of Googling later, he comes to the conclusion that he does, in fact, love you. It feels right. 

He's never been one to shy away from saying how he feels, but this time’s different. What if you don't feel the same? What if you feel so far from the same that you reconsider why you've even been spending time with him at all? 

He can't bear the thought of that, but he also can't continue to keep this to himself. He needs you to know how he feels. 

Maybe it's just a matter of finding the right time.

So, he began spending more time with you. Every spare moment he had, he’s been trying to spend around you in some way or another. Meetings. Walks. Late nights playing video games. Perfect moments came and went: still he couldn't say it. 

Maybe there's another way to show how he feels. Again, he Googles it.

He began doing (more) nice things for you. Bringing you warm drinks in bed when you wake up. Rubbing your shoulders to help you relax at the end of the day. 

He left enough tiny gifts outside of your door that he was beginning to feel like a cat. Candies you said you like. Cool looking rocks and sticks. Little trinkets that remind him of you. When he writes the notes to attach to each of them, he wishes he could write more. He feels so pathetic. He can't even bring himself to write "i love you" without his hand shaking so hard the whole page is illegible. So, “from Tomura” it is. (Once he managed to draw a heart, but it looked more like a squashed strawberry. When you asked what it was, he simply agreed with your assumption - terrified to admit how badly he botched something so simple.)

Now, you're sitting on your bed together. It's well past two am. You're showing him a project you've been working on, it's finally starting to come together.

“You’re so cool,” he mumbles, tipping his chin down so his hair falls over his face.

“Thanks,” you speak with more confidence than he could ever imagine himself having in a moment like this. “You’ve been so sweet lately. Almost too sweet,” you eye him in mock suspicion. “What’s going on?”

The blush dusting his cheeks deepens. Once more, his mouth opens but the words don’t come. His discomfort feels like it could last forever, how hard should it be? It’s just three short words. Finally, he gives in. Turning his head from you and looking away.   

“Oh,” you whisper, “I see.”

Your hands find his jaw. Cupping his face, lightly moving him to look at you again.

“I love you too.” 

He smiles; you get it.

masterlist

[burning2know]

I've seen lots of fans point to the external conditions of Veilguard's development in defense of it. So, let's examine the external conditions that made this disaster possible.

Misunderstanding of Dragon Age's place in the market

Dragon Age's brand identity is dark fantasy that explores what being a hero means within various structures of power. Veilguard can be seen as a re-branding from this perspective (for reasons that @sandetigerrr talked about at length here). To the extent that effort is successful? Well, with every rebrand, you can expect some level of backlash, because generally people dislike change. Tale as old as time. But, we can know whether rebrands are ultimately successful or not. (Warning: my head canons about how marketing works ahead, I'm not a marketing expert.) Let's use an analogy, if you are a company that produces a soap that is primarily utilitarian, you know, it cleans things. You need to reduce costs. You decide to change the packaging to something less elaborate. The considerations are a) that your customers will still recognize your soap, and b) that the soap still does what the customer buys it for: cleaning. Yes there will be initial backlash "gee, this packaging is so ugly." But presumably, the cleaning power stays. Over time people get used to it, they still buy your soap for the reason they've always done. But say, you change the packaging so that it's less shelf stable, and the soap, in the new packaging, is less effective at cleaning compared to before the change. Not only will the customers think "wow the packaging is so ugly", they will also notice "wow it's not cleaning as well either." Over time, they'll stop buying your soap and look for another alternative, one of your competitors. For the soap, the brand identity isn't JUST "the package looks recognizeable" it's also "the soap cleans well". So you can change some of it while retaining your customers. Undoubted, for the customers who buy the soap for the packaging, and they may go to competition with a similar packaging. But, if you're the only soap on the market with that kind of packaging and that cleans... We're in a different world now. There's no competition. You can do whatever you want short of stop making soap, because the customers are stuck buying this shitty rebranded soap.

Speaking of competition, here's something interesting that was on the EA earnings call just before Veilguard released (transcript in the link),

"When we think about what we have with Veilguard right now, we have a storage studio in BioWare. We have a storied IP and Dragon Age.

We have a team that took extra time to make sure the world was rich and the characters were interesting and the story was compelling I think we're going into a market that has limited competition for this category of game given some of the moves that have happened across the broader industry."

To me, this indicates that at the very top levels, the company thinks that Veilguard is in that last category... They can make whatever changes they want to DA because there's no competition. But they got a crucial thing wrong. There is LOTS of competition for stories that have rich worlds and compelling characters (BG3 is the most obvious one). But there's nothing quite like Dragon Age, because there's no other dark fantasy RPG that explores what good and evil means within various structures of power (hard sell to corporate in the current political climate, so I can understand why they Corinne Busche? chose a different angle... but I'm also here critiquing the chosen angle).

This is a fundamental failure in identifying the brand identity of Dragon Age.

Furthermore, they forgot that their niche is intersectional at its essence. Gamers can still find excellent dark fantasy elsewhere. And gamers can find stories that explores what good and evil means within various structures of power elsewhere. Just not both at the same time. But see, it doesn't matter, because gamers won't find this in the Veilguard either.

For all the Veilguard proponents who said "like all previous games, 5 years from now the fandom will consider this a good game", implying that, this is like any rebranding (because DA does kind of reinvent itself every iteration, in that way it's like the Doctor Who of games and it is a precious IP for that reason). They're probably right. I for one, don't see my opinion of Veilguard changing 5 years from now. But I won't be on the internet yelling at people about it. That's just not healthy for me. And the people who are motivated enough to yell about it into the void 5 years after release probably liked it. Just my baseless guess (and other disingenuous hedging).

The game's tortured development cycle

It's been 10 long years coming. So word in the rumour mills is that lots of interesting ideas and intentions were the original single player iteration. Then it was cancelled and rebooted as a live service multiplayer Destiny copy. Then that was cancelled and rebooted again as a different live service game. Then THAT was dismantled and the pieces from these various iterations frankensteined together into what finally became Veilguard.

Do I feel immense sympathy for the devs? Yes. Imagine working on something for 3 years of your life only to have it be flushed down the toilet for one reason or another. Multiple times. Devastating. Getting paid for it all helps a bit. But still, devastating. And sure enough, there were waves of resignations at multiple points over the past decade. I don't blame them.

What I don't feel sympathy for is why there were these series of cancellations and reboots in the first place. How is it that an ostensibly AAA studio backed by a publisher as massive as EA can't get its shit together enough to rally behind a single vision? Corporate bureaucracy? Office politics? Blind ambition? No matter what you call it, these were management failures that had little to do with actually Making the game, but that has a disproportionately large effect on the final product. The devs made the game DESPITE the poor management, management that was supposed to support them doing their work. Management failing the one, albeit complicated, job they have. Absolutely disgusting.

But this shouldn't excuse the final product being what it is. It doesn't somehow make it acceptable or good. This is like receiving a C+ grade for an assignment that you rushed the night before, and saying "Well, yeah, I wrote it the night before. I could have gotten an A if I spent a month on it." The fact of the matter is, you got a C+, not an A. You can still pat yourself on the back and say "I'm not stupid, or bad at assignments, I was just rushed. I'm an A student really!" That's all fine for you, but nobody else is obliged to believe you unless you start turning in assignments that gets As.

In this analogy, us fans are the grader of the assignment bioware just turned in veilguard. And we should really grade the game based on the quality of the work presented, not based on how long it took the devs to make it. One because there's contention about how much of that 10 years time should be counter. And also because time spent and quality are two separate constructs. There's a special category of people who can spent a single night and output an A assignment, and another special category of people who can spend 10 years putting their best efforts into an assignment and still get C+. We can't know which kind bioware is as a studio given the kinds of changes that has taken place in the studio over the past decade (and given veilguard, it wasn't the former).

This, to me is really tragic, because I KNOW bioware writers can write brilliant games. They have previously! This is why I like DA so much. But clearly something about this team comp leading up to Veilguard did not work. We don't know exactly what it was. And making up stories in our heads about the things we don't know isn't likely to get us anywhere that's close to reality.

We should do our best to understand the reality in which everything is operating. Not the least for the sake of supporting the improvement of labour conditions in the games industry. That's the only way that we can rally behind efforts that make effective change. Changes that, you know, make sure that the types of things that made all those bioware veterans leave (apparently without proper severance compensation, to boot) are not likely to happen again at other studios.

(this is just the rumour mill, I wait with unbated breath for a jason schreier exposé sometime down the line)

But it's all there if you look for it!

First of all, it's not. It really is not all there. Because a lot of it was cut. Check out the art book for Veilguard. The things that those creatives have planned shows that they know what effectively telling those stories would have needed, and there are some hints of them that made it into the game. But only hints. I wonder at the sheer amount of information in the art book. It's WILD. It's exceptional. It's a massacre on the cutting room floor. I weep for the brilliant, lost ideas that will never see the light of day outside of concept art form. But man, does that book ever NEEDED to be published.

Secondly, we can find evidence for anything if we look hard enough. That's the power of fandom. In a way, it's why I'm here. I'm a big fan of untethered tinfoil-hat fan theories. But, it's important to distinguish an interpretation from the actual text. Because we can read the text, but we can't read minds.

[urfavcurlypookie]

Am I traitor? Like him

Luke Castellan x Daughter Of Apollo

Warning: Mention of Luke, absent father but loving at the same time and plot twist near the end

You stay quiet "the usual monsters come and go.. leaving me near death and almost visiting hades.." she looks at her father watching him carefully. Apollo face darkens when you explain that the monsters left you nearly dying and so close to visiting Hades, he could feel anger beginning to rise. He grits his teeth and his eyes almost have a literal fire to them. "Of course..of course monsters came after you..."

You smiles "it's fine...I guess that's a demigod life" she stays quiet "I went out to seek your approval to make sure y'know I existed.." His frown lessened and was replaced with a sad smile, he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. "Ah.. my little nightingale. You don't need to go through all that just for my approval, I've never doubted your existence not even once. Sure, you may not be one of my demigods, but you're still my daughter.. and nothing you do will change that.."

He lightly squeezes her shoulder, keeping her close to him. He gently lifts her chin up to look her in the eye. "I'm being serious, little birdie. I don't need you to perform some impossible task for my approval or love, I've never doubted your existence. If you ever need to be reminded of that, just come and find me, understand?"

You looks away "yeah...I did seek for your approval to be claimed..." He sighs and tilts his head, he gently places his hand on her cheek, cupping it and turning her head back to look at him. "You should know at this stage that the only reason I haven't claimed you was to keep you safe from the other Olympians.. not because I didn't want you. Hell, you're my favorite of the Muses.. I wanted to make you my own. I wanted to boast and show you off all over Olympus. I wanted to claim you, damn it.."

You look at him "why are my half siblings claimed then" she said with a hint of envy. He sighs and gently rubs his thumb against her cheek, trying to comfort her. He looks towards the sky for a few seconds, then looks back at her, guilt clear in his eyes. "That's.. different. Your half-siblings were born in the right place, in the right time.. you.. you were born in neither of those. You were born at the wrong time and in the wrong place.. do you understand?"

You stay seated on the log and stay quiet "you broke the rules...and came back down and met my mother and then I happened to be born..." Apollo stays quiet for a while, he sighs and closes his eyes, almost as if he was reliving that memory. After a few moments, his eyes open again. "Yes.. that's exactly what happened. I.. I knew the risk, the rules, and still I came down from the heavenly plain despite it being forbidden.. if the other gods and goddesses didn't know of your existence, they'd be calling you an aberration and demanding your death"

He gently pulls you closer, practically cradling her in his arms like she was a small child. He lets go of her chin and moves his hand to her hair, gently running his fingers through it."I know it's unfair and cruel.. but the other Olympians are relentless and harsh. They'd have found you and punished you for being born, simply because I didn't follow their stupid rules. It isn't your fault, little birdie. This.. this was my own doing.."

Apollo changed the subject quickly and he hums and continues gently playing with their hair, a smirk pulling at his lips. He shakes his head a little, amused. "Honestly, you just need to tune out the others. They clearly don't know what they're speaking about. Anyone with half a brain can tell that you're definitely my child.. you look just like me when I was a teenager"

He grins and gently ruffles her hair once again, his smirk widening. He lightly grips a few strands of hair in his hand and lightly tugs, almost like a silent tease. “I mean it though, little birdie. You look almost exactly like me when I was younger. We have the exact same face structure, our hair is the same golden blond color. You’re like a little birdie version of me, my miniature twin.” now you had to hear him talk about him being a teenager which made you get bored.

He grins and pulls her a little closer, wrapping his muscled arms around her shoulders. He gently tucks her head under his chin and chuckles, closing his eyes and relishing in their presence for a moment. “Hell, even some personality traits.. we are both stubborn, quick to temper, and have a knack for acting like damn fools sometimes.. you’ll get stuck with that one from being around me..”

As they spend time talking about everything keeping him caught up with your life you were having a daughter and father bond. you look at him and stay quiet "I think you should head back before you get in trouble.."

He stays quiet for a moment and almost laughs bitterly. Like he'd get more in trouble then he is already. He sighs and squeezes her shoulder lightly, his throat feeling uncomfortably tight, almost as if it was swelling. ".. Yeah.. yeah, probably should. The other Olympians are bound to start questioning my location by now..”

Apollo eyes stay on hers for a few seconds, searching her face. He wanted to stay and comfort her, but he also knew that he had duties to do, duties to fulfill. He didn’t want to keep the other Olympians waiting. He lets out a heavy sigh and his eyes soften. “Alright, little birdie. I’ll head back then.. but.. be careful and stay as safe as you can, okay?” You nod "I will..."

He pauses for a moment, hesitating, before reluctantly turning and starting to walk away, leaving her alone in the field. Every step he took, he felt a pang of reluctance, of guilt and concern. He didn’t want to leave her like this.

He stops walking after a few moments and turns around, looking back at her. He stays silent, watching her quietly for a few moments, before speaking. “Be safe, little birdie. I’ll visit as soon as I can..” He turns back around and continues walking, walking with a bit more reluctance this time as the guilt weighs more heavily on him.

It was around the middle of the day now, and campers were going about their daily routines. Some were training in the arena, some were playing games, and others were simply chatting with friends. The chatter within camp was never-ending. You were in the forest sitting on a log watching the river flow.

The river was flowing peacefully, its water sparkling in the sunlight that managed to break through the thick foliage. The sound of the running water and the gentle rustling of leaves provided a calming ambience. You sigh and close her eyes Nothing was the same....all she wanted was Luke maybe not him probably she wanted her mother's comfort...but she thought about Luke, he was a traitor he was a lost cause maybe.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps approaching. She opened her eyes and looked around to see who was coming. The footsteps grew louder, and soon a figure came into view. It was a familiar face, one that you recognized all too well.

It was Percy, the demigod hero and son of Poseidon. He walked towards you with a weary expression on his face, clearly drained from whatever mission or task he had been on. Percy takes a seat next to her on the log, letting out a heavy sigh. "Hey" he starts, his voice sounding exhausted. "Mind if I join you?"

You sigh "sure.." Percy sinks down onto the log next to her and glances at her. He can immediately tell something is wrong. "You alright?" he asks, a hint of concern in his voice. You look at the river "yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?"

Percy quirks an eyebrow, not convinced by her response. "You're sitting here alone in the middle of the woods, staring into the river. That doesn't exactly scream 'alright' to me." You stay quiet "maybe I wanna be alone.." Percy frowns and studies her for a moment, his expression softening. "You sure that's all? You can talk to me, you know. I might not always know how to help, but I'm here for you."

Percy senses her reluctance to open up and decides not to push the issue. He respects her wish for privacy and takes a moment to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere of the forest. Silence stretches between them for a few minutes as they both sit and listen to the sounds of nature. You sigh "I saw my father..."

Percy turns his head to look at her, his expression sympathetic. "You saw Apollo?" he asks quietly. He frowns slightly and studies her for a moment, sensing that there's more to the story. "And how did that go?" he asks gently, not wanting to pry but also hoping she will open up to him. You stay quiet "it wasn't...what I expected.."

Percy's brow furrows in concern as he looks at her. "What do you mean? Did something happen? Did he say something to you?" You stay quiet "I asked why he didn't claim me and he said...I was born in the wrong time and wrong place..."

Percy's expression softens even more, his heart going out to her. "Oh... I'm sorry," he says softly. "That must have been hard to hear. But you know that doesn't define you, right?" You stay quiet "all of my half siblings were born in the right time and right place except me.."

Percy frowns again, feeling for her. "That doesn't make you any less special or important," he says in a gentle tone. "You're unique. You're exactly who you're meant to be. Just because you were born in the 'wrong place and time' according to your father, doesn't change that." You stay quiet "I was put through hell out there, going to dangerous quests just to get claim yet I wasn't..."

Percy nods solemnly, his expression sympathetic. "I can only imagine. But you know what? You made it here. You survived. And maybe that's because you're stronger than you give yourself credit for." You stay quiet "yeah I do, I know you saw Luke..."

Percy's expression darkens slightly, his jaw clenching. "Yeah, I saw him," he says quietly, his voice filled with bitterness. You look at him "when Luke explained why he planned to take down Olympus, part of it made sense to me..." Percy clenches his jaw, his eyes narrowing. "You mean the part about the gods being neglectful and flawed?" You do know he's a traitor, right? He's working for Kronos."

You look back to the river "I know it made sense to you Percy.." He huffs in frustration, his hands clenching into fists. "Yeah, it made sense. But that doesn't mean he's right. The gods have their flaws, sure, but destroying them and taking over the world isn't the way to fix things." You stay quiet "they neglected us.."

Percy's expression softens slightly, his anger giving way to understanding. "Yeah, they neglect us. They send us on dangerous quests, and they let us deal with problems they created. But that's not an excuse to try and destroy them. They're not all bad, you know." You stay quiet "they are Percy..."

His brow furrows and he shakes his head in disagreement. "No, they're not. They're powerful and flawed, that's for sure. But there are gods who care, who have helped us out when it mattered. Poseidon, Ares, and others... they've all come through for us at times."

Percy lets out a huff. "And even the ones who do try to kill us sometimes... they have their reasons. I'm not excusing their actions, but there's sometimes more to it than we realize." You looks at the river "I have trusted people only to be hurt...Silena is an example, she did me dirty, manipulative me she made me believe her words a child of Aphrodite? I was blinded by her..."

Percy sighs, his expression sympathetic. "Yeah, Silena's betrayal was rough. She hurt a lot of people. But that doesn't mean all trust is bad or wrong. There are other people out there who are worthy of your trust." You close your eyes "and now Luke...heck I still love him.."

Percy studies her for a moment, seeing the pain in her eyes. "I know it's hard" he says quietly. "Loving someone who's done wrong is complicated. It's like... like loving a storm. They can be beautiful and dangerous all at once. But sometimes, you have to let go." You open your eyes and look at him "how? I knew everything about him..."

Percy sighs again, his expression understanding yet saddened. "Letting go isn't easy, believe me. It hurts like hell. But sometimes, it's the healthiest thing you can do. Holding on to someone who's hurt you or betrayed you just keeps causing you pain. It's not healthy. It's not good for you." You look away "I knew it....i knew about his plans.." she whispers "I did some things for him, I was blinded by my love for him.."

Percy looks at her, his ears perking up at her admission. "Wait... what do you mean you knew about his plans? And what do you mean you did some things for him?" You keep your eyes closed "I loved him Percy...I really did and that love turned into something that I would do anything.."

Percy frowns as he listens to her, his heart aching for her. "what did you do? Tell me." You open your eyes and stares into the river "I helped him sneak out of camp...I knew about Silena being a traitor and yet I stayed with her because she was my friend and y'know that cost me a lot me and her got our eyes burned.. somehow I'm still alive" you look at him you still had the burn in your left eye causing you to be blind due to the poison burn.

Percy's expression hardens as the realization sets in. "Wait.. you knew all that? You helped Luke escape, knowing he was a traitor? And you didn't say anything? that's... that's messed up. People could've died because of your silence." You let a small sob "I wanted to be loved Percy... everything I did was for love.."

He looks at her with a mixture of sadness and anger. "Love shouldn't blind you like that," he says quietly. "It shouldn't make you do things that could hurt other people. You can't put your own desires before the safety of others."

Percy is taken aback by her outburst, shocked by the revelation but he keeps his composure. "But you have to understand that your actions have consequences. You can't just do whatever you want in the name of love and expect there to be no repercussions. You hurt people. You could've gotten people killed. Do you understand that?"

You stay quiet "I know.." Percy watches her, his expression a mixture of anger and concern. "You know, but do you really understand the gravity of it? You helped a dangerous traitor escape... and you played a role in Silena's betrayal and death. You can't take that back. The damage is done."

Percy takes a deep breath, trying to control his own frustration."I understand loving someone can make you do crazy things, but there are limits. There are lines you can't cross. And you... you crossed them. You need to take responsibility for what you did."

Percy looks at her, his expression firm."You have to face the consequences of your actions. You can't just act like you didn't do anything wrong or that you were acting in the name of love. You made choices, and those choices had consequences. People got hurt, people died. You can't just wash your hands of that."

You look at him "I didn't kill anyone though!" She says trying to defend herself Percy's expression hardens and he scowls. "No, you didn't kill anyone," he says tersely. "But you sure as hell played a part in their deaths. You helped Luke escape, knowing he was a traitor and a danger to camp. You knew about Silena's betrayal and you did nothing. You might not have killed them yourself, but your silence was just as much a death sentence as any weapon."

You look at him and look back to the river "all because I wanted my father to notice me..and all because I liked a boy.. enough to do crazy things" Percy sighs, his anger giving way to a sort of resignation. "Seeking your father's attention and liking a boy... that's not a justification for doing all this. You can't let your desire for love and acceptance override your judgement and moral compass."

Percy gazes at her, his expression a mix of disappointment and concern. "You didn't think about the consequences of your actions, did you? You were so focused on your own desires that you didn't stop to think about the people you were hurting." You close your eyes "you can leave now, I wish to be alone"

Percy looks at her for a moment, his expression conflicted, but he eventually takes a few steps back and begins walking away, leaving her alone by the river. As Percy walks away, he glances back one more time, worried etched on his face. He hopes she'll be alright.

You stare into the river she was a traitor herself maybe? A voice in her head whispers, making her question her own actions. "Maybe you were a traitor too." The voice continues, its words cutting deeper into her soul. "You helped a dangerous enemy escape, allowed the camp to be vulnerable to attack. You're just as much a traitor as Luke is."

Each word, each whisper, feeds her doubts and fills her with guilt. "Your actions were selfish, reckless, and destructive. You endangered the lives of others in pursuit of your own desires. A true betrayal." The voice continues its relentless attack, preying on on her insecurities and mistakes. "You're unworthy, undeserving. They all know it. They all see it. A traitor to the core."

As Luke watches from the shadows, his expression is a mixture of disappointment, anger, and a twisted satisfaction. He had manipulated you, used her love for him and her desire for her father's attention against her. And now, here she was, devastated and alone, consumed by guilt and self-doubt. Luke sneers to himself, relishing in the sight of her suffering. He had convinced her to cross the line, to betray her friends and the camp, all for the sake of their twisted love.

Yet, somewhere deep down, a flicker of remorse tugged at him. He had cared for her, in his own TWISTED way, and seeing her like this pained him on some level. But he quickly pushed that thought aside, reminding himself of the greater goal, the need to bring down Olympus. You look at him "was that enough to make him believe?" She smiles and stands up

Luke's expression hardens as he watches her stand up and face him, her smile not quite reaching her eyes."You put on a good show," he says coldly. "But I know you better than that. You're a wreck inside " you flinches slightly at his words, her smile fading for a moment before she regains her composure.

He steps closer to her, his gaze hardening. "All that guilt and self-doubt you're feeling? That's what they want you to feel. You're letting them get into your head. Stop listening to the voices, start listening to me." You look at him "I am"

Luke's expression softens slightly, his gaze searching hers, trying to gauge her sincerity. "Good," he says, his voice calmer now. "Then listen to me. You're strong. Stronger than you realize. Stronger than them. Stronger than those damn gods."

You nod "do you still wish for me to stay here and keep telling you more Information?" Luke contemplates her question for a moment, his expression calculating. "Yes," he says finally, "I need all the information you can gather. Everything you overhear, every conversation you witness, every detail you can extract. Keep me informed about the camp's movements, their plans, their vulnerabilities."

Luke steps closer to her, standing directly in front of her. "Remember, every piece of information you bring me is a step closer to our ultimate goal. And if you do this, if you stay loyal to me, I promise you'll be rewarded. We'll have everything we ever wanted." Luke smirks, a hint of sadistic pleasure in his eyes. "And when we take down those gods, when we make them suffer like they made us suffer, you'll be right there with me. We'll rule together. Can you handle that?"

You nod "mhm.." Luke grins, satisfied with her response. "Good," he says, his voice firm. "Then we have a deal. You gather information, you report back to me, and you stay loyal to the cause. Understand?" Luke glances around, making sure no one is listening, before leaning closer to her, his voice dropping to a low whisper. "And remember, if you feel any guilt or doubt creeping in, forget about it. The gods don't care about you, Anlie. They never have. I do. They'll abandon you the moment they can. I won't."

He reaches out and gently touches her cheek, his touch cold and calculated. "You're mine. Remember that. No one else will ever truly care for you like I do." His words are a mix of possessiveness and manipulation, designed to further bind her to him and his cause. He knows how to play her emotions, how to make her feel both desired and controlled.

[rafecamerons-national-anthem]

SAILOR’S HEART-DREW STARKEY

The ocean always felt like home to you, wide, open, and endless. It didn’t matter that you weren’t a sailor, or that you didn’t know much about navigating the seas. There was something about the waves, the horizon, the way the water swallowed the sun as it dipped into the distance, that made you feel grounded.

And tonight, with the salty air brushing against your skin, you were there again. Sitting on the edge of the pier, your legs dangling over the side as you watched the water below ripple softly in the moonlight. It had been a long week of feeling out of place, disconnected from everyone, but the ocean always made everything feel simpler. Less complicated.

You weren’t expecting company when you heard footsteps behind you. The sound was steady, too familiar. You didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.

"Drew," you said quietly, the word slipping out as if it were a soft secret. You didn't look at him, still focused on the waves. You didn’t want to, not yet.

He had a way of showing up at the most unexpected times, like a storm you couldn’t predict. He had that effortless confidence, the kind that made you think he was always exactly where he needed to be, even if it was somewhere you couldn’t figure out. But tonight, something felt different. There was a weight in his silence, a heaviness that made you hesitate.

He didn’t speak at first, his presence settling beside you, his silhouette just barely visible against the backdrop of the darkening sky. Drew wasn’t the kind of guy who asked questions. He never needed to know why you were here or what was wrong. He was just there when you needed him.

And tonight, you needed him.

After a long stretch of silence, Drew finally spoke, his voice low and steady. “You come out here when things are too loud, don’t you?”

You nodded, your gaze still fixed on the water. “Yeah. The world feels smaller out here.”

He sat down beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned back, his hands resting on the edge of the pier, fingers tracing the worn wood. There was something comforting about the way he didn’t ask anything more, didn’t push. Just sat there, sharing the quiet with you.

“You know,” he said after a while, his voice cutting through the soft sounds of the waves, “I’ve always felt like the ocean was pulling me in. Like it’s calling to me, telling me to leave everything behind and just…disappear.”

You turned to face him then, surprised by the vulnerability in his words. Drew, the always cool, always confident Drew Starkey, was talking about the things that weighed him down. It made your chest tighten. You knew that feeling, the yearning for something more, the pull of the unknown. But you hadn’t expected him to share it with you.

“I feel that too,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the sound of the ocean. “Sometimes, I think I’d be better off on a boat somewhere, drifting with the current, no ties, no expectations. Just the sea.”

Drew’s eyes met yours, and for a fleeting moment, you saw a softness there that you hadn’t expected. A softness that told you he understood, maybe better than anyone else could.

“Maybe that’s what we need,” he said, his voice still quiet, but with a quiet resolve in it. “Maybe we need to just…leave everything behind for a while. Go where the wind takes us. Be something other than who we are right now.”

The idea felt liberating. You could almost picture it, both of you on a small boat, sailing into the horizon, leaving the weight of the world behind. It was an impossible fantasy, but in that moment, it didn’t feel so impossible. With Drew by your side, it felt like anything could be real.

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t know about sailing off into the sunset, but…I’ve thought about it. Just taking off, disappearing for a while.”

Drew chuckled under his breath, glancing at you sideways. “Well, if we’re gonna do it, we better not waste time.” His grin, always so confident, seemed to hide something deeper beneath it. Something he wasn’t ready to say, but something that was clearly there.

You turned your attention back to the water, the sound of the waves beginning to calm, matching the quiet in your heart. Drew’s words had settled into your chest, a bittersweet realization that maybe you both needed the same thing. The freedom to be lost for a while. The freedom to be something else, something untethered.

“Do you ever think about who you’d be if you just left?” you asked, your voice soft, reflective.

Drew’s eyes were on the horizon now, his gaze distant, as though the answer to your question was just beyond reach. “All the time,” he said, his tone filled with a kind of longing. “But I guess…I don’t know how to leave everything behind. I’m always so tangled up in it. In everything and everyone. And it’s hard to know who I am without it all.”

You nodded, understanding the weight of his words. It was the same for you. The world had a way of pulling at you, of dragging you into its expectations. But out here, with the ocean stretching endlessly before you, you felt like you could breathe again.

For a while, neither of you spoke. You just sat there, side by side, letting the silence fill the space between you. There was something beautiful in that quiet, something that made everything feel simpler. The world was a big, complicated mess, but here, it was just you, Drew, and the ocean. Nothing else.

After a while, Drew broke the silence again, his voice almost a whisper. “You ever wonder if we’re meant to be the ones who get lost? Who never find a place to stay, never settle?”

You turned your head slightly, catching his eyes again. “Maybe we’re supposed to be the ones who wander. The ones who get lost and find something beautiful in it. Something that’s ours.”

Drew looked at you for a long moment, his gaze intense, before he nodded slowly. “Yeah,” he said quietly, “Maybe that’s exactly what we’re supposed to do.”

And in that moment, you believed him. You didn’t need to have it all figured out. You didn’t need to know where you were going or what was next. You just needed to keep sailing, to keep moving forward, wherever the wind took you. Maybe, just maybe, the ocean would guide you both to something more, something beautiful and unexpected.

And for the first time in a long while, you didn’t feel so alone in that.

[wings-of-ink]

Ask with chapter 5 spoilers below.

From @ariquess-arts

speaking of spoilers and Oswin ((and simping for that man))!! maybe it was answered before but I can't find it. will there be consequences of having romantic points with more than one RO?

Hello dear! You won't have to worry about consequences per se, though depending on certain actions (such as an attempted confession) it may warrant some additional discussion. Oswin is the main one this can happen with, and depending on choices, there may be an instance of him having doubts or asking if MC is sure that they want him - something of that nature. The ROs are all basically interested in MC - all single and ready-to-mingle sort of thing - but they are all fairly realistic in their expectations even when flirted with and such. Duri expects nothing, and neither does ??? at the start, Zahn and Rune are both in the realm of just hoping something could possibly happen.

I mean, my MC is shy and gentle (with a little lot of playfulness in them) and very into Oswin, they nearly said the L word to him. (we all know why they didn't). and I wasn't very interested in other ROs with this specific MC. (they want them very much in a *platonic physical touch full of cuddles and non-romantic hand-holding and feeding them all honey cakes* kind of way) but then the end of chapter 5 happened, and my MC is blushing and stuttering and 'WHAT. WHY.' for ??? if only because I thought it would be funny. like, I see them not even realising it. like, 'yeah, ??? is hot, so what??' maybe the first time in a while they found someone hot besides Oswin and they're not fully aware themselves? that they might-or might not- get a crush on that asshole, lmao. Oswin is still an end-game for them but I just can't stop myself while thinking about any and all Oswin/??? interactions and parallels. (wait is parallel wven a correct word between those two?? probably not, haha) like, imagine your childhood friend has a crush on you and nearly tells you how they feel after days of going red-faced mess just from you looking and them... and you stop them from saying L-word bc you're insecure and 'not-deserving' (can't wait till my MC can shower him in love and show him how wrong he is) and blah blah (/j, his feelings are very important here). only to see them all a mess again a few days later, but for some tall(er? if I remember right) asshole who very nearly killed them, lmao. yeah, I find this specific pair cery interesting and funny. I'm actually judging my MC soooo hard for their taste, lmao.

I totally feel this, lol. No matter if Oswin is romanced or not, an inclination toward this handsome asshole will make him question everything. It won't be a deal-breaker for him if MC flirts with him and also has feelings for Oswin, but there will be some reactions coded for Oswin based on MC's feelings. So if they are romantic with Oswin but have some sort of moment with another person, it may hurt him a bit or shock him. But Oswin knows that MC isn't beholden to wait for him too. He still respects MC's choices because they don't belong to him. Until they are officially "together" he may feel a bit jealous or a bit hurt by this and you may get some unique dialogue and such. So in that sense, there is a bit of a consequence but it won't be like a huge upset or drama. It will be part of a tough conversation about MC's true feelings.

also, I very much like to see my MC suffer,

We are of the same mind, my friend, lol.

so ofc I choose some (all) very bad choices for them and by the end of ch5 I had some sort of epiphany bc hear me out.

LOL, so you were beat the hell up. I like it.

each time MC goes through someting bad (tm), Oswin is hit with it twice as hard.

Yup! You nailed it! :D And you're gonna see some of the effects on him in chapter 6.

you know, the something something, input his ch5 talk in here but make it worse bc now, he's actually responsible (in a way) for MC and their well being. so I replayed the game again with the same MC and exact same choices bc I this time, Iwas fully aware both of them will suffer, lmao. (it made ch4 choice of calling out for dads to hold MC extra angsty for me like the first time wasn't enough, haha, bc can you imagine what Oswin celt then? not only unable to protect MC but also give them the comfort they needed? ouch).

YES, that is super impactful. And that negative perception he has of himself tingles and starts to eat at him again. Not MC's fault of course and he knows this, but he knows that he's at a stage of life where he must conquer these things that plague him.

also, also, there's two parts of the story extrememly hard for me. 1) what do you mean I have to choose whom to give the cake to? my MC wants to feed them all! let my MC feed everyone honey cakes pls!!! even the assh--???. (I'm unable to give the cake to anyone but Z. they deserve it so much).

Teehee! Sorry! (kinda) I knew when I did that it would make it conflicting, lol.

2) I HAVE TO CHOOSE WHO TO GIVE A PRESENT TOO? Lunan, I'm sorry you're so wvil for that. how can I choose between my beloved dads and my best friend? ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ (it's Lakota, I can't stop myself from choosing Lakota, I'm so sorry, dads).

Teehee again! I debated about being nice and letting MC get a few things but changed my mind. If it is any consolation, they will all be happy to have MC home and that is gift enough. <3

I'm sorry it turned out so long. I spent like, qhat? 2 hours writing (and re-writing) this ask to make it shorter, but oh well. and sorry for all the mistakes, as I got out-drunk by seventy-something years old neighbours of mine (where do these ppl get stamina for taht what). not to mention English not being my fisrt language, I had to take it off my chest. ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Not to worry, my friend! This was an enjoyable read and made me smile. Don't feel bad about being out-drunk - I promise - they felt it worse the next day even if they pretended not to, lol.

(I may or may not have a rather long ask in my phone notes about how I feel about your IF ((positive, really)) that sits there for 2 weeks already, but I don't really want to spam your ask box, so instead let me just...)

I love this story so much and I'm so so thankful you chose to write it and share with us, thank you sooo much!!

I am so glad you love it and that you shared these things with me. I'm so glad I can bring you something that lives in your heart like this and that brings you enjoyment. I can't wait to bring you more. ^_^

[imagionationstation]

💬 or 💤 for Leo and Donnie? ‘12 or ‘03, whichever you prefer!

💤 - Just try to stay awake

All he’s done for hours is scream.

Most of his senses have been knocked offline, claimed by the serum that courses through his veins. Leo’s terrified to see what’ll happen when the final one goes, to witness the moment when he can’t see reason anymore. How he reacts to being truly alone.

It had started with the drug. One of the scientists had injected him with it when they burst in. Donnie swore that there were no effects. He’d been dizzy, but then he was okay. No pain, no confusion, nothing but an immense gratification to be free of that facility.

He felt fine. And then they got back to the lair.

Smiling with relief, Donnie bit into a pizza.

Minutes later, the plate was on the floor and Donnie was gagging up what little food was in his stomach. He said it tasted rotten. The new, fresh pizza that they got him tasted like mold.

The water was coppery like blood.

Everything tasted wrong in the worst way possible.

Donnie went into his lab to figure it out.

It took two hours before they heard the first scream.

Donnie’s hands were clamped over his head, down on his knees, face pressed against the floor. He couldn’t hear them. He shouted whenever he tried to speak. He didn’t know he’d screamed.

He was too distracted drowning in the sounds of death.

They must have been overlapping, all growling and shouting and crying and crammed into one another. There was no reprieve unless his hands were on his head. No decrease in pain unless his brain thought they were being drowned out.

Donnie gave up trying to talk to them.

He just kept shaking his head, tears streaming down his face.

They’d called Rockwell.

His sense of smell went next.

They saw the moment that his brain switched gears. He went tense all over, babbling about rotting corpses and the sting of copper and the heavy stench of sweat. He couldn’t escape this one.

His sight went not to long ago. That’s when the screams started.

He was worlds away, where horrors that his own mind created awaited him, stabbing sofas and kicking the air and sobbing out for them. Leo’s heart broke when he watched him crumble to the floor, clawing at his head and begging for help in a broken voice.

Raph and Mikey had gone to investigate with the Mutanimals. Leo had sent them away, and then he’d stayed, because he couldn’t leave. Rockwell had called a while ago.

He said why they’d done this. Explained how such cruelty was written off in files and reports to be shipped to heartless men. It was something to do with protecting information. Something about shutting down the experiment.

His brother was screaming. Leo wasn’t listening.

Rockwell told them what to do.

Donnie couldn’t pass out. If he lets it overcome him, he’s gone.

They’d told Donnie this when he could still see. He had to stay awake. He couldn’t let his big brain shut down. Not for a second.

“Just try and stay awake,” He’d mouthed carefully, “Hold on. Please.”

Leo would hate him if Donnie asked him to live through that kind of hell. He’s not sure how long he’d last if he had to endure it.

His little brother is suffering, but he’s not letting him break him. And it’s that strength that keeps Leo by his side even though he wants to take off running and never look back. He doesn’t want to hear him scream anymore. He doesn’t want to see him suffer.

But he clings to the last sense that Donnie has left.

Leo gives himself for Donnie to bruise and scratch and wail against. He holds his trembling body close as his nails draw blood and he cries for it all to stop and gently rubs his arm and his hands and his face because he knows he can feel it. He wants Donnie to know that the monsters haven’t gotten him yet. His big brother is here.

I’m here I’m here I’m right here I won’t leave you

He sees every breath hitch, every time Donnie’s face flickers with recognition, every time he rasps his name like he’d forgotten, every time he tightens his grip as if to confirm that Leo’s holding tight.

“Leo it’s loud Leo it’s loud please I can't you-”

“I’m trying need trying I’m promise-”

“It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts don’t go I need-”

And Leo rocks him and wipes his tears and makes promises that he can’t hear because it’s the only thing keeping him together.

If this is the last thing that he’s every going to feel, Leo wants it to be full of love. He wants everything he does to be soft and kind and vulnerable and delicate and warm and full of love.

He wants Donnie to feel it.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I’m sorry I’m sorry

He’s lost the rest of his senses. He might lose this one too.

There’s no other way for Leo to tell him it’s okay if he needs to let go.

That was the worst night of sleep I’ve had in months and somebody’s gotta pay for my misery. DONNIE

[qualityrain]

call out my name when you need me again

if you know who I am, why won’t you call my name?

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[altruistic-meme]

i can't speak on being a "good" commenter because that really depends on what you consider "good" to be, and honestly for most writers ANY commenter that isn't unasked for criticism or hate is a good commenter.

BUT as for being a consistent commenter, I have been working on that myself recently and this is my method: have a prepared response. it may seem like it's unoriginal or silly to have a copy-paste comment, but it's actually super helpful.

that's because for me, my biggest issue with not commenting as often as I wanted to was that I often wouldn't have the energy to put in any thought AT ALL behind it and that made me feel bad because if I had enough energy to read the fic, I SHOULD have enough energy to at Ieast say WHY I finished, right? so I would end up holding on to fics that I had finished with the intent to return to them when I DID have energy and leave a comment. except it never worked like that, and i ended up losing the fics without ever commenting.

the counter? "🖤🖤" thats it. every time I reach the end of a fic I enjoyed, i told myself that all I had to do was add those two hearts. sometimes I'll get there and realize that I want to mention something else as well, or that i want to just make a silly comment like "oh my heart!" or "poor [x]!" but those hearts are VITAL because even if i CANT think of anything else to add, I've still got a whole comment right there, ready to go, and I won't feel bad about having nothing to comment.

and believe me, there is NOTHING wrong with just having a really simple comment like an emoji or two, or just saying "loved it" or whatever! those comments STILL MEAN SOMETHING TO THE AUTHOR! it's engagement that they asked for when they posted their story, it's proof that people put there like their writing, and its just nice to get even the easy and simple comments.

and if you feel brave, you can expand on yours more! mine is just 2 emojis, but you can take "loved this fic" and turn it into "loved [ ]" and fill in that blank with anything from that fic. "loved how you wrote this scene" "loved when this character said that" "loved this line" "loved that i felt this emotion" etc etc etc. the point is to have a base that you can then build on when you have the mind/energy to! if you're low energy, just leave it at "loved this fic/chapter" and when you have more to say, you can add on then!

I hope this makes sense and helps anyone out there! fandom relies on participation from all parties, and im happy that you are asking about how to do that yourself!

It’s more of a fic reader confession- I feel like a failure. Everyone in this fandom is so good and consistent at making comments on fics. I see the same people commenting on every chapter in many stories. I comment but not nearly enough as I would like. What is the secret to being a good commenter or at least consistent one, because our authors deserve all the praise!

📖

[critterchitters-closedcaptions]

trying to decipher if the overwhelming dread & Thoughts are cause of the state of the world or cause i need a shower.

vent post in the tags. idk. do whatever 👍

[ohmytiredheart]

a soul with no king by aurora is THE king in yellow song of all time