#“Oh hey hero that has an extremely good chance of dying- let me give you smth to give you a much better chance of not dying”

[kittykatkatelol]

will die on the hill that Hermes is the fucking best

like in every media he's in he's just the best

pjo , epic , etc

he's just awesome

[thetriggeredhappy]

Consider: the scene in the comics where Scout dies, but instead it's Spy who's dying and he actually has the balls to tell Scout the truth face-to-face before it's too late.

consider: this shit is gonna break your heart, anon. dad!spy hours

(warnings for canon-typical violence, extreme character injury, major character death)

-

Just his luck that he’d find himself alone with so many of those ridiculous robots and with his knee so destroyed. He at least managed to take down the one that finally got him.

These tin cans didn’t even know enough to understand how to efficiently kill someone, he seethed. He’d certainly be bleeding out shortly—he was fairly sure he had a punctured lung, among other things, but the blood loss would probably be what did him in—but god, it was taking forever.

He could take some solace in that he at least didn’t drag Sniper to die along with him, had sent him to try and pick off as many bots as he could from the windows. And... well, he was fairly sure he’d been as useful as he could have been in this fight. Helped kill one of the Classic team—two, if you counted throttling his own counterpart—and done some good recon work besides. This wasn’t the most poetic or heroic death, but he wasn’t a fan of poetry and had never considered himself much of a hero, so that was probably fair.

But that stupid robot had ruined his jacket, which he was pretty annoyed about. Not like it would matter in the long run, but frustrating regardless.

God, it was cold.

He lifted his head when he heard the sound of rapid footfalls echoing down the hall, growing closer. Hey, maybe he could trick some robot into finishing him off, at least. Save himself some time and excruciating pain. He would’ve gone for the cyanide tooth, but unfortunately, this was the one situation where he’d jumped for that option a little bit too early. Just his luck.

(God, it was cold.)

Oh, well. Bludgeoned to death by a Scoutbot at least promised to be relatively quick. They tended to go for the head.

He looked up to at least give a snide remark to his more rapidly-approaching death, only for them to get stuck in his throat as the death in question rounded the corner and made eye contact with him.

“Holy shit, Spy?” Scout asked, looking startled and a little out of breath.

“Merde,” Spy mumbled, and was a little caught off guard by how hoarse his voice was.

In a second Scout had taken a knee next to him and was surveying the damage, mouth running at a mile a minute. “Holy shit we were lookin’ everywhere, Sniper showed up because I guess he was dead but now he’s better apparently and he said you two split off for some reason but you’d been fuckin’ kneecapped and—dude, you look like shit, what happened?”

“What does it look like?” Spy asked dryly.

“I mean, I don’t wanna give you an ‘I told you so’ or nothin’ but this is kinda what you get for disappearing and running off on your own all the time,” Scout pointed out.

He almost couldn’t feel the tiny ache of guilt that put in his chest underneath all the other much more life-threatening aches that were also in his chest. “Well, I’d say I’ve learned my lesson, but I think unfortunately I won’t be able to demonstrate any time soon,” Spy replied, and yeah, there was a puncture to his lung. He had to fight hard to hold down a cough, and only because he knew it would sound extremely pathetic.

“Okay, uh—can you move? Okay, you can’t move,” Scout seemed to decide. “Uh, okay, okay so I’ll uh—so I’m gonna go get Medic, and—he’s fast too we should be able to get back here in like ten minutes flat, easy! Just, I guess try and hold your guts in, I’ll be right back with help!”

Considering the amount of injured Medic was likely to be, he very much doubted Scout would be back with Medic in only ten minutes. And considering the way that his vision was swimming and how distorted Scout’s face got towards the tail end of that last sentence, he doubted he would make it ten minutes anyways.

And he found unexpected panic suddenly rising up in his chest at the thought of dying alone, here in a hallway surrounded by broken mechanical parts and acrid smoke. He forced himself into motion despite the way it made the entire room suddenly seem to careen to the left, and managed to catch Scout by the leg of his ridiculous trousers before he could take off again. “Wait,” he croaked. “Wait.”

“I, no, I gotta go get Medic, I’ll take like ten seconds—“ Scout was quick to assure, so quick that Spy realized he was legitimately worried.

“I’ll—“ Spy started, and paused to clear his throat just to give himself enough time to think of an excuse to have Scout stick around for a minute. “I’ll be fine to wait a little longer, but first I had something important to say.”

Scout frowned. “Yeah?”

And he did. He absolutely did. The problem was that this excuse was... hm.

The problem was that this was something he’d been putting off. The larger part of the situation for about 20 years, and then more directly for about six. And Spy thought that surely he would work up the courage to get to it over the course of their employment, only for it to be unexpectedly terminated, and he decided, well, that was that. He would just have to live with it. But then they got arrested and the thought that surely he would get to it over the course of their time in prison, and once again he didn’t, couldn’t seem to force himself into that conversation, not when he was trapped, not when he couldn’t run from whatever outcome ended up happening.

And now he was dying. And for all he knew, Scout was going to die shortly as well. And in most of the ways that mattered, Spy was the only person who could really answer this question, because apparently Scout’s mother had committed to the lie he’d asked her to tell, had continued to stay headstrong on helping to cover up how he’d faked his death. And how was she to know he was really dead, surely Scout would never bring it up—

If he didn’t tell Scout now, Scout would never know.

Scout would go the rest of his life never getting answers about his father.

“Merde,” he mumbled again, slumping back against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut against the way the world was spinning, feeling motion sick.

He heard Scout take a knee again, and after a second he hesitantly prompted him. “Uh, what? What is it? What’s up?” he asked carefully.

Spy forced himself to open his eyes, and was a little startled by how difficult it was. He focused hard on one of his own shoes, trying his best to make the world stop spinning so fast. He swallowed hard to try and clear his throat, steady his voice. It almost worked. “This is very important,” he started with, and forced sharpness into his tone. “So I will not be needing any of your little jokes and quips and interruptions.”

“Y... yeah, okay,” Scout said, and the worry was extremely easy to read on his face, and Spy kind of hated that.

Spy considered his words. “You’ve mentioned before that you never knew your father,” he decided to open with. Scout immediately began to frown. “And... and I never said anything. Even though that was a very brave thing to bring up.”

Scout opened his mouth to reply before remembering himself and shutting it again.

“And I wanted to apologize,” Spy managed to choke, and he kept track of Scout’s expressions in his periphery, finding it easier to hold on to that way than by trying to look at him directly. “Because you’re never going to get the chance to know your father, not really. Not in the way you deserve, and it’s my fault.“

“Spy, what the fuck does that even mean?” Scout demanded, and maybe the anger starting to flood into his voice was fair. “You—what did you do?”

“You deserved to have a father,” Spy said, and it couldn’t have been more obvious that he was dodging the question, but maybe he wanted to be obvious, just for a minute. “A good one, who did all sorts of ridiculous fatherly things for you. And it’s not your fault that you didn’t. You deserved to. You did.”

God, it was cold.

“And he should have been there for you, and for your family,” Spy continued, and felt his stomach lurch unexpectedly, and had to shut his jaw tight for a moment, tight enough to feel his fake teeth aching. “And he should have supported them and been a good father, and your life should have been made much more easy than it was, and you should not have needed to get in fights and become a criminal in the first place, and you should never have needed to sign up to become a murderer in some terrible desert in New Mexico among a pack of assassins and madmen.”

“Spy, I, I should get Medic—“ Scout tried to cut in, moved as if to stand back up. Spy snared a hand in the front of Scout’s shirt, and though he knew full well that he wasn’t strong enough to actually stop Scout in any capacity, he froze up anyways.

“And—and I know that you deserved a real father, and I knew that,” Spy said, “and I know there is no excuse that can ever be given. There is nothing that I can ever say to make it up to you, or to your mother, or your brothers, nothing. And I should have been there but I was scared and I was convinced I was being hunted and I cared too much about all of you to let that happen because of me, and it was selfish—“

“Spy,” Scout said, and it took all the strength that Spy had just to look at him, and there were a lot of emotions on his face just then. He saw realization, for one. Shock, astonishment maybe.

And for the first time in maybe his entire life, Spy decided that he just needed to be honest. 

“I’m your father, Jeremy,” Spy croaked.

Silence. Long, long silence. In the far distance, gunshots and explosions and yelling, soft enough that he couldn’t be sure it wasn’t his imagination.

“You gonna try and say some kind of cool line, now, too?” Scout asked, and his voice was sharp enough to sting, and Spy winced at it. “Some kind of bullshit about how it, it was for my own good? Or that it’s—that you always cared from far away or some shit, that it was better this way? Gonna ask me to fuckin’ forgive you, here on your deathbed?”

“No, I am not,” Spy replied, voice faint. “I know there is nothing I can say to make it up to you. Words are insufficient.” He breathed deeply and forced down the instinct that was telling him to cough. “But I would rather not leave you wondering forever. I thought... this was better than nothing.”

Scout made a noncommittal noise. Silence.

“I get the distinct impression that you are angry with me,” Spy managed.

“Duh, I’m mad at you. Jesus fuck, you have no clue how mad I am at you. But I’m not...” Scout paused to think over his words. “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at... old you. The you who ran off. And... I dunno. Kinda seems like you hate that guy too.”

“Very much,” Spy confirmed.

“Yeah. I dunno. I guess... I dunno.” Scout paused for a long moment. “And... maybe this is better than nothing, I guess. Because... it’s not the same or nothin’, but... I dunno. At least I know now. And... at least I know what my dad’s like now. That’s something.” 

Silence. Spy managed a nod, but not words.

When Scout spoke again, his voice was uncharacteristically level. “You’re gonna die here, aren’t’cha, Spy?”

“Oui. I have no doubt in my mind,” Spy sighed, so quietly that he wasn’t sure Scout could hear it.

Scout was quiet for a minute. He moved to pull Spy’s hand off of his shirt (not that it was difficult), and for one terrifying moment Spy thought he was about to just drop Spy’s hand and stand up and leave him to rot in some hallway on an uncharted island where he would never be found. His vision was darkening rapidly, and he didn’t think he had the strength to try and stop him again, or that it would even work.

But instead Scout clasped Spy’s hand in his own and held it tight to his chest, squeezing Spy’s shoulder beneath his hand. “Run hell, asshole,” Scout said with the slightest of smiles, and it was so like Scout to be joking just then, to be trying to comfort him just then even if it was in his own way, to find the most indirect, roundabout method of letting Spy know that things were okay. And it made Spy laugh, and laughing was the last thing that Spy remembered.

-

He saw the last of the color drain from Spy’s face, the way the muscles there slowly went slack, and after a long moment he moved the hand from Spy’s shoulder to check for a pulse. He shifted to try again three times, not positive he was doing it right, before realizing, no. He was definitely doing this right. Spy was dead.

He let his own hand drop, then carefully laid down Spy’s.

Man. Twenty-seven fuckin’ years, and he finally finds his dad, and it’s Spy. He shouldn’t have been surprised that Spy would find a way to escape that kind of conversation and never look back, but he was a little surprised that his solution was apparently dying.

...

That wasn’t that funny.

Scout leaned back, scrubbed at his face with his hand, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths. Conflicted emotions. Conflicted thoughts.

Jesus, he should’ve seen it. That dumb dream he’d had back at Heavy’s house when he’d almost died, the stupid jokes Spy kept making about his Ma and the suspicious amount of information Spy had about him, way more than was probably on any official record. And the weird shit Heavy had been saying to him, and all the times Spy stuck his neck out for him when he really didn’t have to—

He didn’t think it was obvious enough for him to guess, but it was definitely obvious enough to suspect.

...So being an asshole ran in the family, huh?

He sat back on his heels.

...His Ma always said they had similar eyebrows. And their eyes in general, apparently. Ears. The mask made it kinda hard to tell.

The mask.

For a few seconds, Scout really genuinely considered taking the mask off.

This was his dad. Ma apparently lost the few pictures she had of him years ago, and this was his only chance. If he didn’t look now, he’d never really know what his dad looked like. Not in a real way. And didn’t he deserve to know? Hadn’t he earned this?

But he couldn’t, and he knew he couldn’t. That was a kind of disrespect he couldn’t stoop to, not even to a dead guy.

He didn’t know why, but he felt himself tearing up.

If he made it out of this alive, he made a promise to himself. He was gonna talk to Miss P—those two were friends, right?—and he was gonna find out more about Spy. He’d hire a private eye if he had to, he’d spend every penny of his Tom Jones money figuring out everything he could. Spy hadn’t given him a lot to work with, but it was something. It was enough.

He wiped his eyes, rocked forward to stand, shook himself. For a second he thought about getting Medic, seeing if he could work his magic, but he’d only seen Sniper for a minute, only long enough for him to say that coming back to life was a one-time deal. He took a deep breath and turned, starting to walk down the hallway. Running off felt wrong just then.

Maybe God was looking out for him, just then, because that meant he hadn’t turned the corner down the hall, which meant he heard the feeble little cough behind him and could turn around, could see that Spy had a hand lifted.

A pause to process.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Scout scathed in the angriest voice he could manage, even as he felt tears leap into his eyes.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 277: Go Go Child Soldiers

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “hey guys I’m going to kill off Aizawa” and we were like “no you’re not” and he was like “watch me, I’m really gonna do it!!” and we were all “DO NOT” and he was all “okay okay geez.” I don’t know if he thinks he’s being cute or what, but we will probably have to have a little talk after this. Anyway, so other stuff that happened included the obligatory news copter showing up to record the carnage so that All Might and Eri can watch; Tomura activating some Approximately High End Noumus to serve as cannon fodder to distract all the hero extras; and Gran dropping off Kacchan and Deku a little ways away from the battle and being all “stay here”, which was IMMEDIATELY and PROFOUNDLY ignored as they just FLEW RIGHT BACK OVER TO THE BATTLE anyway to save Aizawa. Yep. Kacchan really wants to lose that quirk.

Today on BnHA: Tomura, Deku, Kacchan, and Endeavor all take turns flinging each other into the ground and launching fire and explosions and stuff, all of which is impressively violent and doesn’t really get anything accomplished. The grown-ups all collectively decide to shrug off Deku and Kacchan joining in on the fight as though they’re teenagers sneaking into an R-rated film as opposed to CHILDREN on a BATTLEFIELD, and I can’t help but feel like this very nonchalant decision will have some serious consequences! Tomura has a moment of self-awareness in which he’s all “is AFO possessing me lol” before deciding “NAH THAT CAN’T POSSIBLY BE TRUE” which, haha, okay. The chapter then ends with Mt. Lady unsettlingly taking on Gigantomachia ALL BY HERSELF??! which seems like a REALLY TERRIBLE IDEA?? and had better not result in anything bad happening to her though or I SWEAR TO GOD.

ooooooooh!

preview of the final battle, anyone? and I feel like this panel is deliberately drawn to resemble All Might and AFO’s iconic battle at Kamino as well, which ramps up the intensity all the more. very nice

and shout out to Aizawa for making this moment possible with his quirk! I have to assume this isn’t something we’re gonna get the chance to see too often moving forward, unless he decides to chaperone all future battles from here on out, which would be good for the kids but also very stressful for me

anyways, so... lol

it really is almost as though Gran asked them this question and then Deku was like “OOH! I KNOW!” and then just leaped into action to demonstrate. “this!! him getting ahold of me, right?? this would be so much worse.” good job Deku

although

he’s not wrong, though. dammit. I mean, I’ve already tacitly endorsed their involvement by approving of them saving Aizawa’s life. you know, for that brief span of time after Aizawa showed up and before we knew how powerful Tomura would still be even without his quirks, I really thought that Aizawa losing his own quirk was all but an inevitability. now, though, it kinda feels like they absolutely wouldn’t stand a chance without him?? hahaha

honestly it’s a little uncomfortable to think about the fact that the Child Soldiers That We All Agree Should Under No Circumstances Be A Part Of This War have so far a) saved Hawks’s life and b) now saved Aizawa’s, and by extension c) saved the entire world. I mean but don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me writing the HPSC any thank you cards any time soon

anyway now that I’ve said all that, watch Aizawa just immediately lose his fucking quirk right afterwards though. WE’LL SEE

...sigh

why is every last one of the pros so utterly goddamn useless. sorry, was that a bit harsh. I’ll try to phrase it more gently. what I meant to say was, why is every single non-Mirko adult person on this mission about as useful as a RoseArt crayon. why do they all SUCK so HARD. why are they BAD. bad!! they’re just bad!!!

anyways but back to Deku

I’m torn between SOBBING FREELY at this and banging my head against a wall lmao. help please my green son is so loving and brave and so tremendously stupid, just

this is true! and by the way though Deku, just remind me again, I spaced it out just now, what was the reason Tomura was out here to get ambushed by Aizawa and the others in the first place? he was after... something? one for... the road? one for the money? one flew over the cuckoo’s nest?? damn what was it

damn it Aizawa stop dumping your feels in the middle of my sarcastic rants

bro. I know, right?? listen I’m proud of him too don’t get me wrong! the unfortunate thing is though that right now he’s not just your student; he’s also -- and it’s not your fault you don’t know this yet though -- The Thing That Tomura Wants Right Now, On A Silver Platter. so yeah. hence why I am concerned

oop no time to talk though cuz my boys are doing a ~*~COMBO THING~*~ ooooooooh yeahhhhhhh

look at that. “okay Deku you just hold him there and try not to get shot.” truly dazzling teamwork there

LISTEN, YOU!!

THE DISRESPECT?? ooh man and look at his face. this is the happy reunion I’ve been waiting oh my god oh my god

LOL

YEAH HE CAN DO THAT NOW HAHA. while you were off getting all transcendent he was mastering his BLOOP now what huh take that

...sob he’s just yanking Deku along behind him as if he weighs nothing. it’s like that one fancomic of the entire Bakusquad trying to stop an angry Kirishima --

-- HOLY SHIT I SAID “WHOA” ALOUD

MEEP THAT’S CLOSE. whew. okay. breathe. breathe

OH IT’S YOU AGAIN

you guys, is it just me or has this entire battle so far just been one long loop of -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> Kacchan goes with -> Kacchan almost dies -> an adult intervenes at the last possible second -> Endeavor tries to fight Tomura -> Endeavor almost dies -> Deku tries to fight Tomura -> repeat ad infinitum

anyway so Tomura’s actually going flying into the ground now. that probably came within a hair’s breath of actually nearly almost mildly hurting him! way to go guys keep it up!

and Endeavor’s now echoing a question which many fans have been asking these last few weeks, “where’s Shouto?” where indeed. off somewhere not being a dumbass like these two, one hopes. maybe sticking his arm down some Not Quite High Ends’ throats and making them hibernate

lord help us Tomura’s actually stopped fighting for two seconds to monologue. is this good or bad??

is this a deliberate tactic? are you trying to buy time?? I don’t like this lol. why did they stop fighting you now that they’ve finally almost sort of got an edge on you

wow we’re really just... letting the kids fight, huh

just letting them be right there in formation with Endeavor. no one stops to think “are there any actual adult people we could try and swap out in place of these two high school freshmen?” because they already know the answer is “no there are not” SIGH

EVEN AIZAWA OMG

AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?? “la la la we’re not gonna think about it.” goddammit I liked it when you guys were at least trying to pretend like the sixteen-year-olds shouldn’t be here fdslkfjlk

anyway. for what it’s worth, at least we’ve got the only three people in the world who ever tried to surpass All Might standing up here ready to take on the guy whose strength and toughness is approximately the same as his. that’s something. I guess this really is our best shot

YES WE GET IT

“I GUESS IT CAN’T BE HELPED” should be the goddamn chapter title. either that or “SHRUG, CHILD SOLDIERS, I GUESS!!!”

anyway so he’s telling Deku and Kacchan not to ask for direction in one breath, and then giving them orders right away with the next

djsalfkj. welp. you heard him Kacchan. guard Deku no matter what. this will definitely end well

KLDSKFLKSHG MEANWHILE!!!

DON’T MIND HIM HE’S JUST POSSESSED BY A LITTLE BIT OF AFO-SOUL. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

oh man he actually looks freaked out??!

like he has no idea what happened just now. I’m sorry, up until this point were you thinking that having echo-y “wooooo... One for All... go get it~~” voices inside your head was perfectly normal?? lol boy he’s been playing you this whole time and he’s still playing you. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S EERIE DREAM WARNINGS. YOU GET POSSESSED

meanwhile!! both Deku and Tomura reacting at the same time! DO YOU BELIEVE ME THAT THEY SHARE A MENTAL LINK YET. hmm hmm hmm anyway

so now Tomura is straight up in denial!

sadly I’m growing more and more convinced that he’s wrong on all three accounts there. you may think it’s your power and your body...

and wait though, because this is the first time that the idea of him not being in control of his body has actually been brought up, isn’t it? so that’s a nice big red flag there! up until now the argument could be made that even if AFO’s will is manipulating Tomura from behind the scenes and influencing his decisions, there was nothing to indicate that AFO could potentially take over his entire body. but now that Tomura has brought it up as a possibility -- even if he’s in denial about it -- I’d say it’s not only possible, but extremely likely! so that’s a nice big thing looming on the horizon there

and it also in turn gives us a potential solution to the question of “how can this battle possibly end without all of the heroes dying and/or Tomura losing?” because one has to assume that Aizawa’s quirk is going to be taken out of the picture at some point, whether it’s because of him blinking at the wrong time or being shot with a bullet or what. at which point Tomura would basically become unstoppable again and be free to just destroy everything like he wants. but now this introduces the possibility of him potentially taking himself out of the picture for the time being. like if he realizes that he’s in danger of being outright possessed, I could see him leaving them for now and running off to go wage mental war with himself for a while, giving the heroes some time to regroup and lick their wounds. so that’s interesting to think about

holy shit!!

okay so just a couple of things I want to take note of here before we read on

“I don’t want to become like you” -- I think we can take this as confirmation that Tomura will fight against AFO if and when he realizes he’s being manipulated. his loyalty to him isn’t completely blind. so that could have some potentially huge implications moving forward

this image of Tomura being on the inside of AFO’s body, in what looks to be the same mental landscape from chapter 270, though. ...yeah. just who is really in charge, here

anyway so his next thought on page 11 is “I want to be even greater than you”, echoing Deku (and Kacchan’s) desire to be even greater than All Might, which is yet another nice parallel between them

and he’s basically telling the AFO voice inside him to shut up now, as if it will actually listen

yep. you want to go after One for All for your own deeply personal reasons. not following your master’s whims at all, nope. you are your own man

so now finally Gran is getting in on the action!

no idea why he want after the arm though. as if a broken arm ever stopped anyone in this fucking manga

OOOH NANA NAME DROP

???? um??? your dead grandma??? remember???!! don’t tell me you don’t at least recognize your own fucking last name there?? that is significant and don’t try to tell me otherwise! and in a chapter about you being rebellious and trying to defy AFO’s will, besides!!

holy shit

1. THE GRAN/TOSHINORI FATHER/SON FEELS I WASN’T READY!!, and 2. HOLY SHIT THIS OLD MAN IS RIPPED, THOUGH

AND HERE COMES ENDEAVOR NOW TO RUIN EVERYTHING SOMEHOW, PROBABLY

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT FACE MEANS BUT IT SURE AS HELL ISN’T A GOOD FACE I CAN TELL YOU THAT

OH NO SOMEHOW DEKU GOT INVOLVED AGAIN LOL

DIDN’T I TELL YOU IT WAS A NEVERENDING LOOP OF A FIGHT. SO NEXT UP IS KACCHAN JOINING IN AND THEN ALMOST DYING AGAIN

OH MY GOD

NEVER. ENDING. LOOP oh god oh god. next time don’t loudly shout “HE’S JUST THE BAIT” before launching your surprise attack you dingus!!

HOLY MOLY

OKAY BUT

I don’t know about you but I am hella impressed that he managed a blast like that without blowing his own fucking arm off

with the exception of that one time he got all excited and tried to vaporize Todoroki during the sports festival, we have almost never seen Katsuki go all out against anyone, and the possibility that we might be about to see it now is THRILLING. I AM THRILLED

NOW WE’RE CUTTING TO ENDEAVOR AND HE’S FLASHING BACK TO THE SHORT SPEECH ALL MIGHT GAVE HIM WAY BACK WHEN ABOUT THEM BEING DIFFERENT AND ABOUT HOW ENDEAVOR SHOULD FIND HIS OWN PATH RATHER THAN TRYING TO BE THE SAME KIND OF SYMBOL AS ALL MIGHT. AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS IS OR WHY IT’S BEING BROUGHT UP NOW BUT OH GOLLY!

(ETA: I guess it might be because Endeavor -- unlike All Might -- isn’t facing Tomura alone but is working together with the kids to do this combo? like it’s a teamwork thing? I don’t really know lol I’ll think on it some more.)

LOL WHAT

WHAT IS HAPPENING. lol everything is either being exploded or on fire

KFFLSLLK “MEANWHILE”?????

OH NO OH GOD

SIGHING OUT LOUD AGAIN!! not because I’m disappointed to cut away from the Kacchan Loses His Quirk Battle (in due time!!), but because this means that yet again I’m going to have to spend a chapter worrying about Horikoshi killing off one of the TWELVE remaining living female pro hero characters he has, of which one is a healer, another is retired and working as a secretary, yet another only seems to do TV commercials, yet another another currently has... I want to say two limbs?? but I’m not even sure anymore, and lastly two more yet anothers are currently WHEREABOUTS UNKNOWN and MAY ALREADY BE DEAD. so if you’re counting, that’s a full HALF of what was already maybe only a fifth of the total pro hero population in general

all of which is to say that IF YOU SO MUCH AS LAY A FINGER ON MT. LADY I WILL FUCKING END YOU HORIKOSHI. we are NOT HAVING THAT. you hear me?? YOU CAN’T SPEND ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME DRAWING MIRKO ALL OVER THE PLACE AND BEING ALL “I FUCKING LOVE GIRL POWER” ONLY TO GO AND BE ALL “OH BUT I KILLED MT. LADY THOUGH WHOOPS”!! DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS AIN’T IT

sigh. and yet why do I have a very bad feeling about this. hopefully I’m just overreacting. please don’t sully this amazing arc!! MANGA GODS, I OFFER YOU THIS PRAYER

[ironmariposa]

Sanctuary

Summary: Peter is not coping very well after returning five years later to a world without Mr. Stark.

Also found on Ao3

This is our sanctuary We can find shelter and peace This is our sanctuary You are, you are safe with me We share this hurt, we share the pain

Pepper corners him in the kitchen. He’s standing at the sink, staring out the window towards where the lake is, searching, searching, searching.

His mind is numb.

Blank.

Exhaustion from the day, the past few days actually, is starting to creep its way through him. He hasn’t slept since he returned from wherever the hell he and the others went for five years. Five fucking years. He should be turning twenty-one this year. He should be in college, he should be growing facial hair, he should be … there’s so many should bes and yet there's even more never haves.

His head hurts, his eyes hurt, his heart hurts. And as exhausted as he is, he just can not sleep. And because of that, all of his spider senses are on constant high alert.

He knows when he does finally crash, he will crash hard and long. Once, he stayed up with Tony an entire weekend. Nearly seventy two hours and then proceeded to sleep for three days straight.

Thankfully that had been during his spring break.

Just before…

He feels that is what he’s heading towards when Pepper comes up behind him in the kitchen and squeezes his shoulder. He jumps. Literally.

And then proceeds to drop the plate in his hands. The impact of it shattering on the floor is loud and extremely surprising to both of them. The living room, that had been a constant buzz of talking with everyone crowded in there, falls silent. All he can hear is heartbeats and shallow breathing. Eyes are on him as they try to assess if there is danger.

There isn’t. He tries to smile but it falls short and slowly they all turn away and begin to talk again. Peter lets out a breath. He should have felt Pepper approaching. He should have been able to catch the plate. His spider senses are all over the place.

“I’m so sorry, Mrs. Potts.” He stops and looks up at her from the floor where he is already picking up the broken pieces, “Is it Stark now? Mrs. Stark.” He tilts his head at her because that doesn’t feel right. He’s called her Ms. Potts for so long now.

“It’s Stark. But I kept my working name as Potts.”

Peter twists his mouth in confusion.

She squats by him and smiles as she places a hand on his wrist, squeezing gently, “But to you, it’s just Pepper. Here, let me help.”

They work in silence and after they’re done she pours them each a cup of coffee. Coffee is the absolute last thing Peter needs in his system but he’s far too polite to turn her down.

May peeks her head in the kitchen and gives them a tight smile, “Everything okay in here?”

“We’re okay.” Pepper assures her and Mays eyes dart to his before she disappears again. Peter can still hear all the others in the house. It’s been nearly twelve hours since the funeral and still no one has been willing to leave just yet.

Other than to pick up more food.

And alcohol.

Peter has kept mostly to himself. Sitting in a corner or standing off to the side. He spent a good amount of time just standing by the edge of the lake, keeping his eye on the wreath and arc reactor. That is until Harley approached him.

They had known about one another, each hearing stories about the other from Mr. Stark, but although he mentioned wanting to have them meet, they never had got around to it.

Until now.

“So it takes him dying for us to finally meet.”

Peter lowers his eyebrows, pushing his hands deeper into his pant pockets.

“Too soon?” Harley tries again.

Peter shakes his head, “Maybe. I don’t know. Part of me says yes but the other part knows he would laugh at it.”

Harley chuckles and Peter sees him turn to look across the water at the floating wreath, “He definitely would.”

Pepper places her hand on top of his on the table and he lifts his eyes to meet hers. She looks just as exhausted as he feels and he suddenly feels incredibly guilty for not helping her more the past few days. It couldn’t have been easy trying to plan all this while dealing with her grief and a child.

“Happy has been helping you right?” He suddenly asks and off her confused look he continues, “With all of this? Getting everyone here and the food and the ….”

The body. God, he can’t even think it without tears spilling down his cheeks. He still sees Captain America carrying Iron Man across the battlefield every time he closes his eyes. He had watched as Pepper, still in her Rescue suit, followed silently behind and one by one the heroes stood and formed a line to follow their fallen soldier.

“Oh Peter. Ssshhhh.”

Peter shakes his head and angrily brushes the tears from his cheeks, “No. Please don’t.”

“Don’t what, exactly?”

“Comfort me.” He is shaking. His emotions are all over the place and he feels a rage burning deep in him. Not towards anyone but himself. At how selfish he is.

“Why can’t I comfort you, Peter?” Pepper whispers, her hand brushes across his arm multiple times before the sensation of it becomes too overwhelming that he jumps to his feet, his chair making a loud bang as it falls over. Peter ignores it as he begins to pace.

“Peter?”

“I just. You shouldn’t be comforting me after all you’ve had to go through. I should be comforting you. I should have been here helping you with everything. With, with the, the,” He waves his hand to the window that the lake can be clearly seen out of. To the wreath. “I should have been here with her.” Morgan, Morgan, Morgan. Mr. Stark has a child and she looks identical to him. Identical. Morgan.

“Pepper? Pete? Everything okay here?” Happy steps into the kitchen and Peter can sense the quiet of the house as the others strain to listen.

“No. No, Happy everything is not okay. It’s so fucking far from okay.”

“Hey, language, kid.”

That nickname. Happy has used it just as much as Mr. Stark but it still triggers him. He tangles his hands in his hair and squats down, “Shit, I can’t, I can’t.”

“Can’t what Peter?” Pepper asks in that incredibly gentle voice and he just shakes his head.

“Will you turn off the lights, Happy?”

“I.. what?”

“The lights. The lights. The god damn lights. FRIDAY, turn off the lights!”

“Peter, FRIDAY isn’t….”

But suddenly the lights are off and he feels himself falling until he feels a hand on his shoulder and he’s jumping up and back so hard that the person who touched him, May, is thrown into the other wall.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. I can’t. I can’t.” And suddenly Captain America is standing in front of him with his hands up.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“Just don’t touch me.” Peter begs, noticing that the kitchen is empty but for the two of them.

“No one’s going to touch you, Queens.”

Peter reacts to that and his eyes meet the very blue ones of Captain America, “What happened? Did I … did I hurt anyone?”

Cap shakes his head, “Everyone’s fine. When’s the last time you slept?”

Peter shakes his head, “I don’t, I don’t know.”

“Happy?”

Happy steps around the corner and although Captain America addressed him, he doesn’t take his eyes off Peter, “Will you ask Pepper if there is a room Peter can use to rest in?”

“No need.” Happy says, “Peter has a room of his own here.”

“What?” Peter glances at Happy but Cap steps in his line of sight, “Queens, we need to get your sensory overload under control and that won’t happen until you get some rest.”

Peter nods. He’s not one to argue with Captain America on a good day. So he dutifully follows behind the superhero as Happy leads them through the (quiet and darkened) living room and up the stairs. They pass what he knows to be Morgan’s room and step into a room at the end of the hall. The lights are off and as it’s been dark outside for a few hours, he can see very little of the room. A bed is in the middle though and he practically falls into it without anyone saying a word.

And he sleeps for twenty-four hours straight.

When he wakes it’s quiet in the house. He stares up at the dark ceiling for a long moment before sliding out of the bed. After stopping in the bathroom, he silently makes his way into the kitchen. Pepper is sitting at the island, the only light from her phone as she scans through her emails.

“Hey.” Peter says quietly so not to startle her. She still jumps and turns to him.

“Peter. You’re awake.” She snaps her mouth shut glancing over his shoulder to the dark silent living room. He knows without looking that there are multiple people sleeping in there, “How are you feeling?” She asks, her voice nearly a whisper.

Peter runs his hand through his hair, “Better. Hungry.”

Pepper gives a half smile and stands to make her way to the fridge, “Rhodey made tacos for dinner and there’s plenty of leftovers if you want.” She’s pulling out container after container and placing them on the island before he even has a chance to respond.

She makes him a plate as he drinks a shake May had made and saved for him. Then he eats five tacos without taking a breath.

“Is everyone still here?” He quietly asks as he starts on his sixth taco.

Pepper places her dark phone down in front of her. He had noticed her staring at the dark screen on his third taco.

“T’Chala left with his group before dinner. Clint took his family back to their farm.” She taps her fingers on the counter, “Nebula and her group left before you passed out of course. Everyone else is still here.”

“Still a lot of people.”

She hums as she fiddles with her phone, “I just don’t have it in me to kick anyone out.”

Peter finishes his last taco and stands to wash his plate. He silently finishes and as he reaches to put it in the drying rack, he notices the photo. It’s the one of him and Mr. Stark posing with his intern frame.

“He really missed you.” Pepper says from behind him.

Peter doesn’t respond. Can’t respond. His body feels suddenly tight. Like he’s about to snap but he doesn’t know how or what will happen if he does. He’s afraid after what happened last time. His fingers grip the plate and he feels the crack before the plate gives and shatters between his fingers.

“Oh!” Pepper is turning him and pulling his hands apart before he realizes what exactly has happened.

He stares down at his hands, now covered in blood and isn’t quite sure what to do. “Pepper?” He looks up at her, his eyes full of so many questions.

“Oh honey, shhhh it’s okay. We’ll clean this up in no time.” She looks behind her into the dark living room full of multiple superheroes and sighs, “Let’s go into the bathroom. There should be a first aid kit.” She squeezes his wrist, “Do you want me to get your aunt?”

Peter quickly shakes his head, “No, no. Let her rest. Maybe.” He pauses, chewing on his cheek for a moment, contemplating, “Maybe Happy though?”

She smiles softly, “Of course. Come on.”

She leads him into a bathroom silently, her hand not leaving his wrist, her other hand quickly typing out a message, he realizes a moment later to Happy, as the man appears in the bathroom doorway. He was asleep, Peter can tell, but he doesn’t look upset at being woken up, only concerned.

“What happened, Kid? You okay?”

“He’s fine.” Pepper reassures Happy, “One of the plates broke while he was holding it.”

“Oh.” Happy eyes first Peter then Pepper. He knows there’s more to the story but he lets it be as he fully steps into the bathroom to help assess the damage.

The two of them have him cleaned up in no time and Happy sends him back to bed with strict instructions to get more rest. He can hear the two of them whispering as he does as he’s told. He knows they’re talking about him but he finds he just doesn’t care. His head touches the pillow and he’s asleep within moments.

“Petey?” Peter looks down into Mr. Stark’s eyes. Except that isn’t right because he doesn’t usually have to look down at Mr. Stark. He clinches his hands and relaxes them. Does it a second time.

“Petey?” A small hand pulls on his jacket and he blinks. Morgan is staring up at him, a look of concern on her four year old face.

“Hey.” Peter breaths and offers a half smile to the young girl. It’s the best he can offer at the moment.

“Will you help me make some cheeseburgers?”

Peter blinks at the question and then gives a small laugh, “Cheeseburgers huh?” He glances around the yard. Rhodey, Bucky and Pepper are sitting on the porch. Thor, Steve, and Sam are visiting the alpaca. May and Happy have gone for a walk around the lake.

He looks back to Morgan and reaches out a hand, “I think I can handle some cheeseburgers.”

They end up grilling out by the lake. Happy and Rhodey take over the grill after Peter manages to burn the first batch of burgers. He actually manages a smile as they tease him. Morgan climbs into his lap at the picnic table as she waits patiently for her cheeseburger. He offers her the first one off the grill but she shakes her head. When Harley tries to take a burger for himself Morgan shouts, “No, wait.” And so they do. They wait until all the food is on the table and everyone has a seat. Pepper turns to Morgan and says, “Mo, can we eat now?”

Morgan shakes her head and everyone who was about to dig in settles back.

“Sweetie?” Pepper asks quietly leaning across the table, “what exactly are we waiting for?”

And everyone's breath rushes out as she says, “Daddy.”

No one says a word.

Not a word. Pepper has her hand over her mouth and she shakes her head. Once. Twice. And Peter can tell she needs help. If there was ever a moment he could prove to her that he could be this her support this was it. But he can’t do it.

May, bless her heart, takes Peter's hands from Morgan’s waist where he knows he was beginning to squeeze and she smiles sweetly at Morgan, “Sweetie, you know your daddy is gone right?”

Morgan nods her little head but glances to Happy innocently, “But Uncle Happy said Daddy’s favorite was cheeseburgers so I thought if we made them he would want to come back.”

“Peter, stay with me.” May whispers as she pulls Morgan into her lap but he can’t. He just can’t and he moves from the table and runs into the forest as quickly and quietly as he can.

After that, Peter finds he can’t sleep again. He hears everything in the house as the hours and days tick by. Thor snoring in the living room. May and Happy watching a movie in the guest room. Rhodey, Bucky, and Sam are quietly talking on the porch. Pepper silently crying in her room.

He’s had plenty of rest but he feels like his senses are still in overdrive. He’s not sure if it's from what happened on Titan or the incident with the cheeseburgers or if he’s just that exhausted, but he feels the irritation building up again.

Then he makes the mistake of asking May for some clothes. Her face drops as she lets him know that all his clothes had been donated. It had been five years, so of course he understood.

But he needed clothes and so Happy shows up in his room later with a handful of shirts and sweatpants. Peter takes one look at the top tshirt and instantly pushes them back into Happy's arms.

“I can’t.” He tells Happy, “I can’t.”

Happy tries to push them back to him but Peter turns away, “Does Pepper even know?”

Happy steps into his room and drops the pile of clothes onto the end of his bed, “Of course. She heard you and May talking and brought them to me.”

Peter shakes his head, “Happy, I can’t.”

Happy stops his pacing with a hand on his shoulder, “Peter, it’s just clothes.”

“But it’s not.”

A squeeze of his shoulder and tears spring to his eyes. Peter digs the pad of his hands into his eyes forcing the tears away, “I can’t Happy.” He says in a horse voice.

“I get it, Kid.”

Happy leaves but the clothes stay.

After that May and Happy decide it’s time to take Peter home. That, maybe, he’ll be able to rest if he isn't reminded daily of Tony. Peter doesn’t agree with them. But he doesn’t argue about leaving either. Doesn’t have it in him to.

Pepper finds him standing on the dock as Happy and May load up the car, “How are you feeling?” She asks him gently.

He turns and gives her an off smile. She returns the same smile. The smile you give someone when your entire world has flipped upside down but you know everyone around you just wants to know you’re okay. So you fake like you are for their benefit.

“M’okay.”

“May said you’ve been out here on your own for awhile.”

He doesn’t respond right away. The breeze from the lake blows across them and he can see Pepper's hair dancing in his peripheral.

“I’ve missed so much and yet.”

She turns to him then, “He left you a message.”

He turns to face her, his eyes wide.

“Just you. He left it in his garage. His lab, which is now yours.”

“Mine? I don’t understand.”

Pepper tilts her head and brings a hand up to brush his hair from his forehead. The wind just pushes it back but she smiles fondly, “You don’t, do you. You don’t see how much he loves and cherishes you. How he spent every single moment you were gone going over what he did wrong.”

Peter shakes his head, “He didn’t….”

“Oh, I know that and you know that, but this is Tony we’re talking about. He never felt peace these past five years.”

Peter's eyes drop from hers and he steps away from her, “I’m so sorry.”

Pepper sighs loudly, “I just don’t understand how you can be so different and yet so much like him at the same time.” She grabs his arms and squeezes, “I’ll tell you exactly what I told him every single day for the past five year. It. Wasn’t. Your. Fault.”

He refuses to lift his eyes to hers and she sighs again, “So, the lab is set to only let you in at this time. There is no rush for you to go and see the message, you do it in your own time. However, forewarning Morgan is used to going into the lab with her dad and I fully expect you to carry on the tradition.” Her hands slide down his arms and she wraps her fingers around his hands, “I fully expect in the future to be frustrated because you and Morgan spend far too much time in there tinkering, instead of doing what I need. Peter,” She waits for him to lift his eyes to hers, “I expect you to be the big brother she believes you to be.”

Tears fill his eyes and the smile she gives him is genuine, “You were his ‘Kid’. You now have a four year old sister.”

Tears fall and his mouth opens and closes in search of how to respond. He is both honored and horrified. Pepper just smiles softly and leans in to hug him. He manages to return the hug weakly and she turns to leave him once again alone on the dock.

She’s to the end when she calls out to him again and he glances over his shoulder at her, “I will tell you every single day of your life it wasn’t your fault if I have to, Peter Parker.”

“I would never doubt you Mrs. Stark.”

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

[derl30]

ALTERED STATES REVIEW TIME!

OK, this tumblr is, today, a vehicle for me to review ALTERED STATES. And you (the one person who stumbled on this review two-hundred years from n- oh who am I kidding, when the aliens from A.I. who show up to thaw out Haley Joel Osment and the teddy bear who was the real hero of that movie find this) should be very excited about this. Because this movie is insane. And highly entertaining.

Yes, the movie poster looks like ass. If I told you this was a movie where William Hurt (not the William Hurt from that awful 90's Lost in Space remake, or the one who slept through an entire performance as Duke Leto in the Syfy miniseries of Dune. This is before the body snatchers got him) took ayahuasca and got in a isolation tank and it blew his mind so hard he started devolving into a neanderthal and creating dimensional portals and he couldn't stop because he was addicted to finding the truth of existence... Well you wouldn't get that from this poster, would you? So let's move on. Shall we?

The film opens in 1967 with William Hurt's character, psychopathologist Edward Jessup, already immersed in a sensory deprivation tank, whilst his colleague and “buddy” Bob Balaban (he's just Bob Balaban in everything I'm not giving you his character's name look it up yourself if it's bugging you so much) oversees.

Now, you may notice I put buddy in quotes. The reason for that is that Jessup is a self-obsessed ass who seemingly has no reason to be around other people unless he can expound to them one of his various monologues. Bob Balaban barely gets a word in edgewise throughout the entire film. Bob Balaban.

See, Jessup loves the sensory deprivation tank experience. Unsurprisingly, as it allows him to be completely alone with himself for hours.

Later, at perhaps the lamest party ever, a bunch of faculty are chilling out and listening to the Doors. Everyone we see is talking about Jessup. Why? Well, much as Jessup is obsessed with himself, everyone else seems to follow suit by being obsessed with him. One young woman, Emily, (Blair Brown) is introduced to him in this very shot below as he arrives at the party:

Notice how is framed in holy light? There is a closeup after, of him framed in blinding glowing light followed up with a zoom in on Emily's face, enraptured with this incredible dynamic man. So much so that the moment he tries to make a goddamn sandwich she starts grabbing his celery (get your mind out of the gutter) and flirting with him. Which for these two that means talking science, immediately. Talking more at each other than with each other. This is often the way with Paddy Chayefsky's scripts.

PAUSE

Paddy Chayefsky is doubtless one of the great American writers for the screen. He wrote Marty, The Hospital and Network (which is a fucking incredible piece of work). He got an Oscar for all three. He also wrote this movie (Altered States, remember? Good lord) and disowned it completely three weeks in to production. His scripts tend to have very intelligent, driven characters at the center, who monologue extensively at each other. These scripts are not attempting to sound naturalistic.

Ken Russell, however, directed the film. He, like Chayefsky, is top notch at what he does (Direct. I said he directed the film like a second ago, come on keep up). His films, like Women in Love, The Devils, (which was banned in several major countries upon release and has never been shown publicly in its full, uncut form (by the way it's a masterpiece)) the Who's Tommy, Gothic, and Lair of the White Worm are all fucking gonzo nuts. I mean like, when you gave this guy the reins, you were going to Overthetopsville and there will be no stops on this trip. And god bless! I love directors who GO for it!

You're getting the chance to make a movie. Stop hemming and hawing and hit me over the head with what you want to say! Film is a visual medium, USE IT!

I feel I might have made my feelings clear here. So, moving on...

Ken Russell and Paddy Chayefsky immediately started butting heads, right from the start. Chayefsky was a BIG deal, and he wanted control over the picture in a BIG way. Ken would listen to his suggestions on everything to lighting and set dressing, and politely tell him, “No.”, and continue being the director of the film. Chayefsky hated him pretty quickly.

He had much more control over films like The Hospital. Which, if you watch The Hospital, well, it shows. You've got great actors (George C. Scott, Dame Diana Rigg (Dame may be the greatest official title of all time)) saying great dialogue. But its just two very witty bitter people sort of expounding on topics and speaking at each other and suddenly admitting they are in love and discussing what drapes they will have to buy for their new home. It's utterly preposterous, and it doesn't work in the way Sidney Lumet got it to work in Network, by literally making one of the lead characters realize his life is turning into a ludicrous soap opera.

So of course Ken tried to humanize, naturalize, the dialogue sequences. And it works! The film feels more human than the Hospital or Network. Despite the fact that Jessup is literally becoming more and more inhuman throughout the film. One of the ways he does this is by having the character's eat, drink, and work on other things during the dialogue sequences. This is perfectly normal in film, it's called giving the actor “business” to do, during the scene. Chayefsky HATED this. “They are mumbling my precious dialogue! Chewing through it! Sucking it through a straw!” Sorry, Chayefsky buddy. It works for the picture. Chayefsky also felt the actors were too emotional with his dialogue. Right. See, they call that acting.

UNPAUSE

Which brings us back to the first meeting of Emily and Jessup at the party. They are eating during this important scene! I can just picture Chayefsky seeing this, and running to the studio brass to tattle and get Ken Russell fired (as he got Arthur Penn of Bonnie and Clyde fame fired before Ken Russell came on board).

Emily and Jessup are, true to Chayefsky form, extremely intelligent, driven people and hearing them discuss topics such as anthropology and schizophrenia is quite interesting. It's just that what is to come, film being a visual medium, will eclipse just about any dialogue, no matter how good, from our mind thingys.

The two give up on the science talk and go straight to banging on her couch. After, she asks what he was thinking about. His answer is priceless. “God. Jesus. Crucifixions.”

She smiles.

Bwahahaha! Oh Paddy Chayefsky, you sure know women.

He admits he used to have religious visions. She listens to him from the sweaty couch whilst he sits naked on the floor, and starts going on about his father's horrible death of cancer and his loss of faith. And he admits to her that he's a nut. Her response is to call him a fascinating bastard. I think Lucas may have taken notes for Padme and Anakin.

So naturally, they get married immediately.

But none of that matters because Jessup gets back in the sensory deprivation tank and has his first vision. A nightmare of his dying father and lost faith in christianity. It's pretty great, filled with foreboding hospital rooms, his father's face being covered in a burning Shroud of Turin, everything covered by horrible blood red clouds and then THIS FUCKING THING SHOWS UP AND ITS ALIVE AND WRIGGLING

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

excuse me...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The many-eyed goat is slaughtered over a gold bible and suddenly Jessups screwing Emily again and we enter a blood vessel looking thing and the vision ends and he never mentions this again. Oh. Okay,

Emily continues on about what a nut Jessup is as they make marriage plans. Her monologue:

“You're an unmitigated madman. You don't have to tell me how weird you are. I know how weird you are. I'm the girl in your bed the past two months. Even sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant... Which can be very nice, but I sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God. (Emphasis mine)

"And you are a Faust-freak Eddie! You'd sell your soul to find the great truth. Well, human life doesn't have great truths. We're born in doubt. We spend our lives persuading ourselves we're alive. And one way we do that is we love each other, like I love you. I can't imagine living without you. So let's get married, and if it turns out to be a disaster, it'll be a disaster.”

It's a disaster.

As in, by the next scene. It starts off happy enough looking, they have kids and people are smiling. And hey, wow it's seven years later! But, well, see, whoops, they are getting a divorce. Well, not they. See, he is divorcing her because he considers the seven years with her a complete waste.

She still loves him, desperately. He doesn't give a shit about her or the kids. He tells Bob Balaban this, straight up. And then starts bugging him about deprivation tanks and Hinchi Indians in South America who have sacred mushrooms that can really fuck you up.

It's at this point you would like for Jessup to be hit by a Mack truck. But the movie continues on. By the way, this is one of the kids he doesn't give a crap about:

That's right. Drew Barrymore's first role is a kid that William Hurt doesn't give a shit about. Something that William Hurt would make a career out of with narcoleptic performances in Lost in Space and Syfy's Dune. So, Emily takes the kids to Africa for her anthropology work while Jessup goes to South America to go deeper into his own creepy mind.

The Hinchi Indians agree to allow him to participate in the drug ritual. They enter their holy cave.

This shot is beautiful. At this point the film becomes increasingly gorgeous. Ken Russell has started to go into overdrive, ladies and gentlemen. Buckle. Your. Seatbelts.

The Indians grab Jessup's hand and cut him, freaking him out. They pour his blood into the drug mixture. They begin to drink. Then he takes a sip. The intensity of the film here has quadrupled. The vision begins, fireworks going off all around him. He sees cave paintings of humans and komodo dragons and this:

The proper life he left behind with Emily. He's convulsing, sweating. The Indians are all around, masked. Snakes. He's laughing in pain. Energy spills from the void. A snake under the parasol strikes and begins to strangle him. He and Emily march toward a nuclear explosion as energy pours from the cut on his hand, becoming a lizard. From within a sandstorm, Emily watches him, naked. Jessup looks at her, entranced, as the soothing sands cover them both, slowly.

It's a beautiful sequence. A perfect film sequence. I can't overstate how strong the vision sequences are from this point forward. Great visual effects work and the madman mind of Ken Russell create something unforgettable, with it's own pace, independent from the rest of the film.

Jessup awakens with a komodo dragon laying before him, ripped to pieces. The Indians and the others all claim he killed it in rage. Jessup remembers nothing, takes samples of the drug to reproduce it, and goes back home.

Back home, Jessup keeps doing as much of the drug as he can and having Bob Balaban record results. They can't up the dosage any more so Jessup hops back in to the self deprivation tank to create a more extreme experience.

In his next session, Jessup states he is having a vision of early man, hunting a deer and killing it. Suddenly he states he is one of them, killing the deer. He begins to grunt like an animal. The two pull him out. He's incredibly pale, blood seeping out of his mouth. He can't speak, and has difficulty breathing. He insists they do an X-ray. It shows that there is a vocalizing lump in the front part of his throat. Jessup claims that his body had begun to revert to a simian state. The medical doctor agrees, stating the throat X-rays looks like that of a gorilla.

Luckily his throat returns to normal. So Jessup finishes up his day by having over a student of his and sleeping with her.

Our hero, people!

At this point we hardly feel sorry for him as his body suddenly begins to twist and bulge in the middle of the night, shifting in and out of neanderthal shapes. It's a horrific sequence, disturbing as hell. You certainly didn't expect the film to shift into body horror.

Jessup feels normal after a while. but sees visions of lava explosions, the birthing of the Earth all around him. Not a good sign.

He goes to pick up Emily from the airport the next day. She asks how he is doing.

“Oh, fine.”

Yeah right.

Emily has been told what Jessup has been doing and is worried, which of course pisses off Jessup even more. The guy is obviously obsessed with reaching the truth and root of existence, much as Emily surmised earlier, and we see he has no fear of even losing his own soul, again true to her word. The only thing that allows us to give a shit about him at this point is that Emily cares for him and she's decent people, okay?

So back Jessup goes into the tank with his ayahuasca or whatever it is. Alone. The tank door opens from the inside.

The hand that pushes it open is covered in thick hair. He's devolved.

Ape-Jessup escapes the tank room and chases a janitor around the building. Again, this scene is fucking freaky as hell. We can't get a good look at this screaming animal that was Jessup.

The janitor gets a guard to help and chases after him into the boiler room, where we finally get a good look at him when he assaults the security guard and escapes.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Ape-Jessup runs through the city at night, making his way to the zoo where he kills a antelope and eats it. The Ape-Jessup sequence goes on way too long, but is nonetheless unforgettable. The makeup is much more convincing than the above picture suggests, and whoever performed Ape-Jessup did an admirable job.

The cops find an unconscious Jessup in the zoo and bring him in. Emily picks him up and questions him. Jessup admits everything that he can remember. He also admits that he probably killed that security guard. And once again doesn't seem to give a shit. Prick. He calls it the most supremely satisfying time of his life.

Even Emily seems disgusted with him. But, she's also fascinated with what he's accomplished. As an anthropologist, his transformation fascinates her. And so, she agrees to help oversee his next session. Big mistake.

Before the big session Emily and Jessup romantically reconnect, and then into the climactic session we go!

Get your popcorn ready!

After a few hours in to the session, the video monitor shows Jessup begin to literally melt apart like goo, reverting to primordial ooze, the very beginning of existence. An attempt to open the isolation tank doors blasts everyone unconscious, as light and energy pour forth. Emily is the only one left. She sees Jessup's life energy pulse from within the tank.

Rain pours down around them. The pipes on the walls twist and turn like jelly. The ground is covered with a pool of swirling fog and energy. Emily advances toward the vortex of the tank.

In the emptiness of the beginning of everything, Emily seizes the energy before her and reconstitutes Jessup.

They take him home. While he sleeps, Emily rages over the fact that she loves such a insane bastard, and can't get over him. And, then, after Bob Balaban leaves, leaving Emily alone, Jessup wakes up.

He sweetly admits that the truth he learned was that there was no learnable truth, just unknowable horror, and all that's real is human experience. And he'll be a good boy from now on. Well too bad!

Because that horrible truth isn't done with him, and it's back to goo-Jessup! Emily tries to help him, grabbing him, but this in turn effects her, turning her into a shimmering lava form of herself. Both of them begin to self-destruct as Jessup, enraged, watching her in pain, struggles to retake his humanity, slamming himself into the wall, reforming himself through sheer will and physicality. He grabs her and brings her back, mirroring what she did for him during the final session. They embrace naked in the hallway. He finally admits, “I love you, Emily.”

Fade to credits.

Awww true love!

What can I say to sum up? Awesome 80's practical effects. Genius wacko go-for-it Ken Russell directing. Out of this world vision sequences. A awake and actually remarkable performance from William Hurt. An occasionally turgid but often fascinating script by the ever ornery Paddy Chayefsky. Whats not to like?

Well, the ending is a little rushed. The ape sequence goes on for a little too long and takes up perhaps too much of the films overall running time. The central love story is, well... a little hard to swallow, but hey, I guess there really is somebody out there for everyone. Even self-absorbed, deadbeat, cheating, sensory deprivation loving, ayahuasca dropping, Harvard teachers with a messiah complex!

And on that note, aliens from A.I. Artifical Intelligence, have a good day, and don't leave poor Teddy alone with no one to keep him company!

Sayonara!

[dxitydoo]

Miraculous Ladybug Fic Recs!

I keep going looking for these and realising there aren’t loads so, while this doesn’t fix my problem, hopefully this helps you if you’re looking for some good fics!

For some reason, I’ve had a bit of a thing for longer fics recently so most of these are over 10k. Hopefully, there’s enough of a mix that you can find something you like!

Key

* - unfinished

M - mature

☆ - favourite

Arranged in alphabetical order.

Allez Savoir Pourquoi by Yilena | 30k - M

After seeing her soulmate for years without knowing his identity, Marinette bumps into him at a newly opened cat café. When he confesses that he needs help, she agrees to work for him on a whim. AU.

breathe— by frostedpuffs | 22k

Adrien had always been fond of Marinette. That was a truth he held close to his heart.

When he nearly meets his fate on an otherwise peaceful autumn afternoon, his world is thrown into typhoon of muddled thoughts and vague memories. Though questions burn at his mind as he lies awake, one particular detail stays constant: a familiar face in the crowd that's been by his side every step of the way.

It's a long road to recovery. But with his partner close, what's there to be afraid of?

☆ A Co-meow-dy of Errors by othellia | 31k

While chasing down a thief, an ancient artifact causes Adrien and Alya to swap bodies. Desperate to keep it a secret from Ladybug, the two decide to try and live life as the other until they can re-track down the thief and switch back.

Things... don't exactly go according to plan.

My thoughts: I read this one on the way to school and boy was it hard to keep from smiling while reading it

☆ Chasing the C/h/atwalk by Inkkerfuffle | 112k

Paris. The city of lights, love and fashion. Follow the progress of Marinette Dupain Cheng as she enters the extremely competitive world of Reality television for a chance to be the winner of Project Runway: France.

My thoughts: this one is literally my all-time MLB fanfic. If you’re willing to read a longer one, then this one is definitely definitely worth it!

☆ Cheaters by 11JJ11 | 8.7k

Alya discovers Adrien kissing Ladybug, and she's not happy that he's cheating on her best friend. Adrien knows that he can't reveal his Lady's identity, and he just might have to take the fall– but he's not going down alone.

My thoughts: Now with an extra 2nd part that makes it even better!

Checking Sources by DOMinMatrix | 10k

Marinette is having a rough day when that night, when she's supposed to have a solo patrol, Chat Noir shows up asking a single question: "Have you revealed your identity to anyone, accidentally or otherwise?"

Derrière l’ecran - ENGLISH TRANSLATION by Mindell | 6.6k

Little virtual conversations between Ladybug and Chat Noir, after which Chat Noir was successful in convincing his co-teammate that it would be very practical for them to have the possibility to contact her when they are not transformed into their hero alter-egos. The Internet is there to guarantee anonymity-- something so dear to the heart of the young girl…

☆ Fermeture by KarmaHope | 9.4k

The hardest part of being a superhero is no longer being a superhero. It’s been five years since Marinette last saw Tikki; since she last saw Chat Noir; and she can’t take it anymore. A reunion/reveal fic.

My thoughts: this one almost made me cry but it was also so good. I couldn’t not put it on this list

fierce competition by Bumblewyn | 3.3k

"I have a problem," Ladybug laments as she theatrically drapes herself across one of the Eiffel Tower's support beams.

"What is it?" Chat Noir asks, curiously looking up at her slumped form.

"I think the boy I like has a crush on me."

"Hold on," Chat says, holding up a finger to halt her as he frowns intensely.

They stare at each other in silence for a couple of seconds.

Chat shrugs and drops his finger. "I give up," he declares. "I have no idea how that could possibly be a problem."

"Because he's got a crush on Ladybug! Only on Ladybug!"

My thoughts: I just love their relationship in this. This one is short but sweet

give ‘em pumpkin to talk about by alooxsnaps | 3.8k

“Wow Marinette, great Ladybug costume!”

Alya’s words reverberated in her head like someone kept hitting pause and rewinding the moment over and over again, until sheer, unadulterated panic swallowed her whole.

She wasn’t IN a costume. She was transformed. ...As LADYBUG.

~

Alya throws a Halloween party and chaos ensues.

How To Break Superhero Rules by GayFairyRoyalty | 7k*

What happens when Chloe argues with Marinette?

What happens when Marinette finally loses her cool?

What happens when all of Miss Bustier's class find out Marinette's and Adrien's secrets?

If You Give a Kwami a Cracker by PFTones3482 | 5k+

...it might just end up with your best friend figuring out your secret identity. One shot.

In the Middle of a Very Happy Ending by ProbablyVoldemort | 4.3k

Senior Theme Week is fast approaching. But what happens when there's too many real akumas for Marinette to make her and Adrien's Akuma Day costumes?

☆ Paws Fur Coffee by Zaphirite | 32k

He was so sure that Ladybug would already push him off a rooftop if she knew his civilian identity worked at a café called “Paws Fur Coffee” of all names (the owner is a dog person, but he’ll take it), but his flub on the chalkboard menu just topped it all off.

His neat handwriting read back to him: “Chai Noir”.

(In which Adrien Agreste has some really cool ideas about the special drink of the week and gets to know a regular customer.)

☆ Pick-Up and Chase by SKayLanphear | 30k

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

My thoughts: this one was hilarious and had me screaming a couple of times

Poster Boy by Amateum

Ladybug let out a relieved sigh and slumped against the wall surrounding the bed they had landed on. “That was close.” She looked over to where Chat was sat on the other side of the bed.

He glanced around the darkened room, taking in the details. He loved having night vision. “How did you know where the key to the house was?” He asked, turning back to Ladybug.

“Because…” An uncomfortable look crossed her face, followed by resignation. “Because this is my room, Chat.”

“Really?!” He immediately perked up and peered over the edge of the bed to get a better look around. Unfortunately, her lack of night vision doesn’t stop Ladybug from finding his ear-the human one- and using it to yank him back to the top of the bed. “Chaton!”

“Right. Secret identity. Sorry,” he said sheepishly. After a beat he said, “Hey, why do you have a collage of Adrien Agreste pictures?”

Shellter Chat by Bridgetinerabbit | 58k

A peek inside Adrien's school bag gives Nino some very unexpected insight as to what makes his good friend tick, but leaves him in a very delicate position. He never expected to strike a deal with the Kwami of Destruction, but now he and Plagg are working together to relieve some of Adrien's (and Chat Noir's) burdens for his own good. But being Adrien's guardian angel isn't as easy as it seems; other secret identities start falling apart, and there's no telling where the falling dominoes will stop.

Sixty Minutes by mikochan_noda, peonydee | 13k

Alya Césaire, award-winning pursuer of truth, is honored with an intimate interview with Ladybug and Chat Noir. However, she doesn't count on finding out certain things that are making her regret asking in the first place.

☆ spotty connections by agrestenoir | 66k

(1:14 pm) So you never told me how you planned to make Gabriel Agreste cry.

(1:20 pm) Oh my god, how drunk was I last night?!

(1:22 pm) They live.

(1:23 pm) Barely.

(1:24 pm) How do I know you again?

(1:24 pm) I don’t think you do? I’m Wrong Number. You were texting me your New Year’s Resolution earlier.

(1:25 pm) …I’m too hungover to deal with this right now.

(1:26 pm) Well who’s fault is that?

(1:40 pm) …Hello?

(2:01 pm) Well this was fun.

(Marinette sends a text to the wrong number, and things progress from there until it becomes the right one.)

My thoughts: I’m an absolute sucker for texting fics and this one is no exception!

something happened on the way to heaven by dragonsinparis | 5.4k

When the two heroes discover that Hawkmoth is Gabriel Agreste, Chat Noir throws him out the window for everyone to see.

Adrien Agreste comes to live with the Dupain-Chengs.

Chat Noir vanishes.

Marinette is fine.

At first.

Tandem by BullySquadess | 11k

Two students get carried away in a friendly game of dodge ball.... and two other students get very suspicious. Its a double reveal fic!

My thoughts: another guilty pleasure of mine. I love gym reveals and this one was great

[blackcatmanor]

RWBY V7 Episode 12 Photo Review (Spoilers)

..................WUT

I mean….I can’t really process what happened

 So let’s get this part out of the way:

The Good: 

Penny and Winter are the true BFFs

Penny becoming more human is endearing to see, and it’s been interesting to see her struggle with understanding emotions against Winter, who also struggles to understand them, in a way. Penny challenging Winter but never abandoning her to join RWBY is nice, and their light conflict is very well done because it shows Penny’s growing humanity struggle against Winter’s much chillier perspective.  I really like the dynamic between these two and hope they continue on in the next volume (If Winter dies too this volume I’ll ragequit RWBY), and to be honest it’s become more of a cute bond than Ruby and Penny this volume. Don’t @ me 

The fights

Although a lot of the “fights” in this volume were done off screen, when there is fighting this volume it has been extremely good. The camera moves around a lot less so we get a better sense of what is going on, and the moves feel more deliberate to whoever is doing the fighting, such as Ruby and Harriet who dart around a lot, delivering only occasional blows (and Ruby taking more of the blows because she’s not as good as Harriet in hand-to-hand), while Yang and Elm go all-out lady brawl (and it’s nice to see Yang’s semblance again)

Exception: Weiss. 

Weiss’ over-reliance on Summoning is making her boring to watch in fights. Seeing the 300 different ways the animators show her spinning around and waving her sword like a magic wand is getting OLD. If you’re going to have her summon all the time, fine, but stop focusing the camera on her. Just show her very distantly in the background waving her sword/wand and focus on how people fight whatever she summons.

 The meh:

RWBY vs Ace Ops- welp… I didn’t think the Ace Ops were gonna lose, I thought RWBY would flee and barely get away because the Ace Ops were supposed to be the best of the best. I guess I’m glad they didn’t just go down like total chumps (except Vine- sorry dude), but apparently if you train with the Ace Ops for 6 weeks, you’re as good as them. *Shrug* Who knew? It’s like Fitness Bootcamp- Train with a soldier on an obstacle course once and you’re basically ready to become a member of Seal Team 6, right?

 I wish they would have explained this a little more- maybe looping back to the discussion they had in Episode 4 about being friends vs teammates. Maybe RWBY’s personal bond gives them more incentive to win, while the Ace Ops are just going through the motions because it’s just a job to them. Plus I think Elm and Marrow’s inner conflict also maybe helped tipped the sales towards RWBY, perhaps they weren’t trying their hardest, but I wish this was a little more clear

 JNPR vs Neo

It’s kind of weird that Neo didn’t incapacitate Oscar, if she was planning to try trapping JNR as well… Or maybe Oscar barely managed to get away? Regardless, Neo had the lamp, so why stick around and wait for more people to show up? The plan was for her to get the lamp FROM Oscar, not necessarily grab Oscar as well. Maybe Neo has her own agenda, which would be cool, but from this episode it looks like she completed her objective but then waited around to fight some more. Maybe getting the lamp was too easy and she likes a challenge...? Who knows (I am saying that a lot for this episode, huh?)

 Cinder vs Winter and Penny

This is obviously meh because not much happened, and it’s just set up for the big final fight. With the Ace Ops incap’ed, hopefully RWBY can come in as well to finally fight Cinder directly after dancing around her in V5. I think most of this will go down probably in the Relic room because a grand fight in a cramped hospital room is hard, so I think Cinder will be able to Grimm-snatch the Winter Maiden powers and go down to the relic room, or she will incapacitate whoever does get the powers and drag them there, only to be stopped by RWBY for a big battle. However I don’t think it’ll be Winter Schnee getting the powers since it’ll take too long for the transfer device and they are out of time. I KINDA think now it might be Penny- a girl with an aura/soul- somehow she’ll receive them and it’ll be part of her becoming a real girl (like Pinocchio).  Who knows? At this point who gets them is totally up in the air.

  The Ugly:

 I guess I was right about Tyrian escaping custody again, but it wasn’t because of Salem intervening with Grimm like I thought. It was because Robyn is a terrible person!

Robyn- Please kindly f- off:

 I officially HATE Robyn the most. After teetering on a “meh-leaning-towards-general-dislike” feeling, I loathe her now and I hope she gets killed off quickly. She’s a one-dimensional generic hothead character with no personality that is purposely stuck in to create conflict. She is the good guy’s Tyrian- but Tyrian has a reason to be chaotic: He’s an insane zealot. Robyn is just a poorly written idiot. 

Robyn just does stupid things that get in everyone’s way all of the time, and actively works to undermine the hero’s at each turn. She prevented the launch of Amity by stealing all the supplies, and now she is going to try and fight in the middle of a cramped ship, risking Tyrian’s escape rather than waiting 5 minutes to duke it out with Clover once Tyrian is safely in jail. The entire time they were squaring off on the ship I kept thinking “Uhm Tyrian’s right there….Tyrian is RIGHT THERE! He’s gonna get out!” Robyn is a liar. She doesn’t care about the people of Mantle, because she’s doing things that could (and did) lead to a serial killer who killed Mantle Citizens escaping.

Not to mention she could have taken Qrow’s advice and talk to Ironwood first! Literally 2 episodes ago you were saying the General had your support and now you’re like “I’LL FIGHT ANYONE, ANYWHERE. Forget talking to people to get the full details and actually following through upon that trust I claimed I had in Ironwood two episodes ago, I’m gonna risk everyone’s lives to fight this out RIGHT here!” She’s the worst! 

  Confrontation with Qrow and Clover- 

This falls under the Ugly because, despite some good dialogue between Clover and Qrow, with Qrow expressing that he feels manipulated while Clover tries to explain his own point of view, every decision made from here on Qrow’s part is inexcusable and totally irrational. 

Tyrian joins the fray and inexplicably Qrow agrees to team up with him to take down Clover because THAT can’t possibly fail spectacularly. 

Tyrian suggests “putting the kid to bed” but the entire time I knew Tyrian would betray Qrow and go too far with attacking Clover because OF COURSE HE WOULD. But I thought he would sting Clover as a chance to get away, because Qrow would have to focus on getting Clover help. However, what we got was…much, much worse. 

Qrow’s questionable decision making

Hey DUMMY- Why not team up with Clover first to neutralize Tyrian again, and then you and Clover can duke it out. Or you and Clover can go talk to James like you wanted to 10 minutes ago!

Oh right…because “You got a score to settle” with Tyrian because this is now a cheesy western where your ego is more important than logic.

I think his bad luck semblance is really just an idiot semblance- like occasionally his semblance makes him do stupid things, leading to horrible outcomes but he mistakenly chalks it up to “bad luck.” It’s also frustrating because this volume they were setting Qrow up to grow into a good character- someone with a lot of anger from the past who learns to cope with it, and learns to accept friendship from others. I guess that’s all over. 

So, sadly, Tyrian then murders Clover. It was shocking I will say that...I actually GASPED, and it led to this really cool shot: 

But the shock was partly for the wrong reason. Like I said before, I thought Qrow being a dumb-dumb would lead to Clover being injured, sure, but KILLED? Yikes! Qrow’s idiocy leading to Clover being injured would be frustrating, but not unforgivable narratively and he could learn from it. He would learn to not treat his friends as transactional, and automatically write them off when one hint of struggle happens. Qrow’s idiocy in teaming up with a serial killer and getting Clover killed kinda makes Qrow unforgivable in my book. Does CRWBY want me to hate Qrow? I guess so, especially because Clover’s dying scene didn’t exactly stick the landing and alleviate my anger towards Qrow either.... 

So poor dying Clover is lying there, and a visibly shaken Qrow kneels next to him. So the thought is Qrow is going to realize his horrible mistake, and dive down a pool of self-loathing: tearfully blaming himself, blaming his bad luck,  APOLOGIZING, upset about how it’s all his fault, etc. Instead, he delivers (with a straight face) the weirdest line ever about James taking the fall. UHHH- WUT? You teaming up with Tyrian led to this. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

  This sucks. On several levels. Clover’s death was just plain poorly done and a good character was wasted. I really liked Clover. I thought Qrow was going to actually get a break from being shit on this entire series and finally get, at a minimum, a friend that would continue to help him grow and develop as a character, pushing Qrow to see the best in himself and stop continually hating himself. With that cut short, I of course felt super sad and emotional about Clover’s death, even to the point of almost crying.

However, I can’t pretend like a significant part of that isn’t pure frustration anger about how this episode played out. Not only did Clover’s death came about in the dumbest way, but his final words with Qrow were wasted by the weird “James will take the fall” bit. 

Qrow should have blamed himself and his semblance (I mean...it actually kinda is his fault, not gonna lie), and Clover could have maybe been the ultimate friend to him, telling Qrow that it happened because Qrow was fighting for what he thought was right, and even though the outcome was horrible he shouldn’t stop fighting for what he believes in…? I dunno….ANYTHING other than “GRRR James will pay”

 I can’t help but remember a mere few minutes ago.....

This episode.....woof. 

 In a long series, you want your hero’s to sometimes lose just to keep it interesting, and to give them something to have to crawl back from. However, what’s interesting is seeing the characters try their best, make reasonable and decent decisions and still suffer a loss, because it makes us want to continue to cheer them on and watch as they make a triumphant comeback. Seeing hero’s simply choke and fail because they make the dumbest, irrational decisions with no logical reason is just frustrating and excruciating to watch, and seeing those moments lead to other characters suffering makes your “hero’s” unlikable. 

This argument was made for the V6 climax- that RWBY made a dumb decision and others suffered the consequences, making them “evil” to some hateboner watchers, but I thought this assessment was over dramatic. You have to take things in context, and literally nothing came of RWBY’s decision to steal an airship: the universe was the same as it was before with some filler in the middle. No one was injured or killed, and even the damage to the city was minimal (one roof). Clover, though, is full-on dead and that is entirely Qrow’s fault. I just can’t believe the writers put this down on paper, re-read it, and though- “yea....Someone who totally make the decision to team up with a murderer to subdue their good friend....this is gonna be GREAT.”

But who cares about the story- NEW MERCH DROPPING SOON AMIRITE?! 

Ok that was a low blow, but the writing and characters inexplicably took a logical nose dive this episode, after having a lot of thought put into last episode. The characters (especially Qrow, but also Robyn and to a lesser extent Clover) could have made some reasonable and logical decisions and Clover still could have died, which would have had way more impact and made the situation seem way more hopeless. Instead we got Robyn kicking off the shitshow by being just the worst, and Qrow taking the shitshow torch and cranking it up to 11, effectively un-doing all of the development we’ve seen from him this season. 

Lastly, even if you are going to have the characters completely fail at making decisions and it leads to a horrible outcome, at least stick the landing and don’t have them go off on some odd tangent about how this is someone else’s fault. *facepalm* 

Overall I’d give this episode a very generous 2/10.

The 2 points is because of the decent fight animation and occasionally decent dialogue.

I’m tired... 

[astrologista]

jl dark 3 or whatever it’s called fun review

i am extremely extremely bored which is what possessed me to put this on in the background while performing other tasks

spoilers under the cut if you care, but pro tip don’t watch this movie. you may as well be spoiled.

this movie is... how shall i put this... hard to get through. it was really the kind of thing with these new dc movies where i think ‘well, i’ll give it a chance. maybe they got a good writer this time, maybe there are some good moments buried in here’. in this case i was wrong. this movie wasted my time. this movie mocked the fact that i even bothered to watch it all the way through.

let us first mention the fact that dc stories have always, fundamentally, been about hope. the idea that something or someone is always worth saving, even the villains. this is fundamental to the dcu in almost every dc story that you will read spanning 80 years of content. many people enjoy dc entertainment for this property.

<SPOILERS>

i find it difficult to classify this story as taking place within the dc multiverse. why so? at the end of this movie the basic takeaway is that the timeline has just been too fucked up to continue to live in. and, that is true. by the end of this movie they have killed lois, killed john stewart, killed cyborg, killed like a bunch of other people i kind of forgot, there was just a lot of killing. like a lot a lot. 

now this neceSSARILY would not be enough to completely turn me off the premise of the movie, because we’ve seen similar elseworlds before, it’s not an original idea to create a crappy future. never mind that the killing is done in the most graphically gruesome ways possible... but, there is more than that. there is apocalyptic destruction of the earth, much of earth’s population, people are tortured, altered, incapacitated. most of the movie seems to be dedicated to showing bad things that can happen.

there is also 5 minutes dedicated to a ring fight between lois and harley which, what? i guess that’s the light moment? whoop de doo? oh yeah absolutely cannot forget gratuitous harley everywhere of course. and KING SHARK IS A SHARK whoooooooo oh my god so funny! best running joke EVER hahahahahahhaHAHAHAHAHA

but getting back to what i was saying, about hope. when the battle is won, when our heroes escape back to earth, what do they do? do they regroup and soldier on despite losing so much? yes, superman says that they should. they shouldn’t just give up. they should have hope in rebuilding a better future while mourning their losses. 

at the end of this constantine be like “hey flash this world is shit. pls do flashpoint and fix everything. kthx”

i mean, ok. fine. fair enough. i want to see them all get a happy ending as much as anyone. and the future was pretty fucked, it’s true. but this is the final note that the movie leaves you on. what was the theme? 

world is a fuck, just reset everything once you’re done torturing the characters.

some of the core elements of dc stories have involved survival. surviving trauma. life after violence, hope in the face of hopelessness. both superman and batman, the central heroes of the dc “mythos” EMBODY these traits.

but, no. justice league dark. remake the world, this one is beyond saving. roll credits. IT’S DARK LIKE REAL LIFE GUYS OHOOOHOOHo.

and honestly, i call bullshit. i could have kind of KIND OF respected it if this had ended with batman and/or superman giving a speech like “yes things are super fucked but we are going to rebuild and survive” and then just go to credits. that could’ve almost worked and it seemed like they were going there.

but, constantine. oh my god. stop wanting the supernatural / dr who audience please. please. this is not dr. house. stop. ssssstop.

other fun points: like i honestly thought batman was gonna be the sleeper agent. i really thought he had already broken mind control a long time ago and was just waiting for a good opportunity to strike, but, no. just bullshit really. 

oh yeah and after seeing his son damian horrifically BURNED to DEATH right in FRONT OF HIM, and i do mean like burned to a fucking crisp extremely graphic and then dying in his arms kind of shit, he gets to have one (1) manly tear. but that’s it. just the one. what in god’s name.

btw raven’s tears resurrecting damian? lol. you know what, if i was a teen i would have kind of enjoyed that cliche so you know what, fine. fair enough. i’ll buy it.

but one thing i wouldn’t do again is buy this movie. the plot’s shit, the writing’s shit, the themes of the story are beyond shit and it’s a big waste of time. i cut some of these new dc movies in this universe a little slack because some of them do have genuinely good moments in them. but every year, they get more and more shock value driven and worse. and this one was probably the worst one yet in my mind because, it didn’t seem like a dc story. and that’s what i thought i was getting, so i’m disappointed. what i got was a super-edgy, xXcrawlinginmyskinXx fan fic by someone with a mutilation fetish or something. everything it is tries to be as edgy reminding you that this isn’t your grandpa’s justice league this is justice league DARK and they won’t let you fucking forget it. i almost forgot about the raven and damian plot being like the core of the movie because. yeah, nah. not for me. 

and i can understand if there is actually a market for this kind of movie, i mean there is. i guess people enjoy this, as an elseworlds. it did try too hard to be thanos and the avengers by having it basically be age of ultron where all of the heroes team up to fight darkseid before it’s too late and a lot of people sacrifice their self but hey, they really just want that audience. and while it may be something i do not care for, maybe people like this. critics seem to think it’s pretty good. i don’t want to minimize the animators, artists, va’s and other people who worked on this because from a technical standpoint it’s a big achievement, as any animated feature is. a lot of work goes into these. seriously, though. i will never rewatch this, ever, just like i basically never rewatch any of the other movies in this universe. you want a good dc animated movie that’s violent? watch utrh. watch the batman beyond movie. watch mask of the phantasm or sub-zero. watch the year one adaptation. watch something, but please. for the love of god. don’t watch this.

will there ever again be a good dc animated film? probably. but not today. maybe next time. that’s all. geeze

[starkravinghazelnoots]

Inevitable

Time was of the essence. Janet van Dyne knew there was a chance she would not be able to restore Stark’s hand that wore the gauntlet, but she could keep his soul in his body. What good was the ability to heal if she didn’t use it?

Hope landed her behind a small crowd who had gathered in front of the legendary Tony Stark. As tempted as Janet was to push her way to the front and heal him immediately, she waited. And she watched.

Time was ticking.

(An Endgame Fix-It.)

Read on AO3. Read on FFN.

xXxXxXx

“And I... am Iron Man.”

The following snap of armored fingers against each other echoed across the battlefield, stunning the ongoing fighters into silence.

Janet van Dyne found herself glancing desperately across the area, trying to find the one who called himself ‘Iron Man.’ She understood the power that had rippled through all of them. She knew the damage it would do. She could help him, if given enough time.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Hank asked, pulling her away from one of Thanos’s soldiers as he - it? - crumbled to ash in front of them.

“I can save him, Hank,” she pleaded, clutching his hand between both of hers. “I know I can! Each of those stones has traveled through the Quantum Realm, they are now connected to the Quantum Realm. I can heal him!”

“Heal who?” Hank demanded. “Stark?”

“If that is his name, then yes.” Janet turned around to see that Hope now stood beside her. “Please take me to him, Jelly Bean. There isn’t much time.”

Hope nodded, flicking her mask down and lifting her mother up, the wings of her suit straining but carrying them quickly enough across the battlefield.

Or so Janet prayed.

Time was of the essence. She knew there was a chance she would not be able to restore Stark’s hand that wore the gauntlet, but she could keep his soul in his body. What good was the ability to heal if she didn’t use it?

Hope landed her behind a small crowd who had gathered in front of the legendary Tony Stark. As tempted as Janet was to push her way to the front and heal him immediately, she waited. And she watched.

A young boy with brown hair was kneeling in front of the armored man. Even from a distance Janet could see how the dust and blood coated on his face was streaked with tears.

“Hey, Mr. Stark, we won,” the kid choked out, reaching towards the man before pulling away. “We won, Mr. Stark! You did it. You did it.” The kid furiously rubbed his eyes. “Tony, please don’t go...”

Janet felt a lump form in her throat. The child’s actions reminded her so much of Hope, when she had been younger. Or perhaps it hurt too much to imagine Hope in the boy’s place.

A young woman with fading red hair and wearing armor similar to Stark’s gently pulled the boy away, taking his place in front of whom Janet presumed was her husband.

“Hey, Pep,” Stark coughed. Blood trickled down out of the corner of his mouth.

“Shh. Don’t speak, honey,” she murmured, touching his cheek with her thumb. “You’ve done it.” She brushed the dirt and blood from his forehead before leaning and kissing him on the cheek. Janet didn’t fail to notice the grief in her eyes, as much as the woman tried to put on a brave face. “We’ll be okay. You can finally rest.”

Janet’s own heart skipped a beat as the arc reactor in Stark’s chest flickered before going out. Unable to stop herself, she pushed through the crowd and dropped to her knees in front of the famed hero. “I can heal him,” she begged. “Please, if you will allow me to, I can.” She placed her hand on his chest. “He is still alive. He is dying, but he is not yet dead.”

The red-haired woman seemed at a loss for words, her eyes wide as she remained frozen.

“Please heal him!” the boy from earlier pleaded, grabbing her arm as he choked back a sob. “Please!” He shook his head, whether it was intentional or not Janet couldn’t tell. “I can’t lose another dad. I can’t. Not again. Not like this. Please.”

Janet turned back to Stark’s wife, who was covering her mouth with her hand in shock as silent tears fell down her cheeks. “With your permission.”

The woman breathed a shuddering gasp, then nodded. “Yes. Save him.”

“Rest doesn’t have to mean death, Pep,” a dark-skinned man murmured, pulling Stark’s wife into a tight hug. “He deserves to rest with you, and with Morgan. He deserves the future you’ve always wanted.”

Janet took that as her cue, placing her hands on Stark’s heart. Her hands glowed with a golden light as she channeled everything, everything she had into revitalizing a man who needed to live. There was no question. As soon as his heartbeat was steady, she transferred her concentration to the man’s arm and the side of his face. She numbed the pain and stabilized his nervous system to the best of her ability. There wasn’t much she could do about the physical state of his skin. That was beyond her abilities.

But she could keep him alive.

And that – that was enough.

xXxXxXx

“So he’s going to make it?”

The doctor nodded, and Pepper fell into Rhodey’s arms, unable to stop tears from escaping for what felt like the hundredth time that day. Rhodey murmured soothing words as he gently rubbed her back.

Peter likewise found himself being hugged tightly by May. “He’s going to live, May!” he sobbed into her chest. “Oh my God, he’s going to live.”

“It was the treatment he was given before he came to us that likely saved his life, however,” the doctor continued. “In truth, perhaps the only thing we did was use the research left to us by Dr. Cho to heal his face, and manipulated the quantum particles provided by Janet van Dyne to finish restoring his nerves there. But he will live, and for a long time, at that.” The doctor smiled. “He’s very fortunate to have people who care about him so much.”

“Can we see him now?” Pepper asked, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

The doctor hesitated, their smile disappearing. “I’m afraid not. While we are quite certain that Mr. Stark will survive, he is still sedated from surgery. You will have to wait until visiting hours reopen later.”

The blood drained from Pepper’s face. “Surgery? What surgery?”

“We tried our best to save his right arm, but the damage was just too extensive. His nervous system appeared to have been mostly healed, somehow, but his muscles were shredded beyond repair.” The doctor winced. “I apologize if my language is insensitive. I simply do not wish to give you a false impression. We had to amputate.”

Silence fell among the group. It was broken when Rhodey chuckled.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said as Pepper stared at him in a mixture of shock and horror. “I was just thinking that it’ll finally be my turn to help Tony. Like how he helped me.” His fingers brushed his leg braces.

The doctor smiled warmly at the group. “Mr. Stark will need all of your help. And I believe you are all quite qualified to provide it. That is the exact reason I am sure he will live a very long and very happy life.” They shifted their clipboard to beneath their arm. “If you have no other questions, I will be on my way.”

“When can we see him?” Peter blurted out. “If not now, when? When do visiting hours reopen?”

“Hmm,” the doctor mused. “Well, visiting hours don’t reopen until tomorrow. But I would estimate he will wake a few hours from now. But I can find my superiors and ask for a more exact time, if you’d like, and see if they’ll let you visit early. They often do that for extreme scenarios.”

“Yes, that would be much appreciated,” Pepper said. “Thank you.”

The doctor nodded. “I’ll be back the moment you’re allowed entry.” With that, they walked away.

May ran a hand through Peter curls before kissing the top of his head. “Not to jinx us, but we’re very lucky, aren’t we?”

Rhodey reached out and pulled both May and Peter into a tight hug with him and Pepper. “Yes. Yes we are.”

xXxXxXx

“I’ll have to write a hundred – no, a thousand – thank you notes to Ms. Van Dyne,” Pepper said as she reached up and stretched. The hard plastic of the hospital chair wasn’t good for her back, especially after three hours. “We are indebted to her for life.”

“I can’t help but wonder if Pym will gloat about that for as long as possible,” Rhodey chuckled. “Only in good humor, of course.”

Pepper shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth for the first time in what felt like years. “I doubt I’d mind if he did.” Pepper’s gaze shifted to Peter, who had fallen fast asleep after the first twenty minutes of waiting, his head resting on May’s shoulder. “He must be exhausted.”

May gave Pepper a soft smile. “Yes. But he’s not the only one. Have you considered trying to rest, Ms. Potts? God knows you need it.”

“Please, call me Pepper. I think we’ve reached that level of closeness.” She sighed. “I know I should rest. But I can’t. Not without seeing him.”

May nodded. “I understand.”

All heads turned at the sound of approaching footsteps from down the hall. It was Happy, holding the hand of a little girl with dark brown hair, both making their way towards the group.

“Morgan,” Pepper breathed, standing from her chair and rushing over to her daughter. She knelt down and pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

Morgan nodded, even though she was squished in her mother’s embrace. “Yes. Where’s Daddy?”

“He’s resting right now, in that room over there,” Pepper said, lifting up Morgan as she stood and gesturing towards the room where her husband was sleeping. “We’re waiting for him to wake up.”

Morgan nodded, not speaking as she contented herself with twisting and braiding her mother’s long hair.

Pepper returned to her seat, and Happy sat down in the chair opposite her.

“Any updates?” he asked.

“Not many,” Rhodey said. “But we do know that he’s going to make it.”

Happy breathed a sigh of relief, his hand moving to his heart. “Oh, thank God.”

“And we know that he’ll look as handsome as he did before,” Rhodey continued, a small smirk dancing on his lips. “Apparently over the past five years they’ve been able to replicate the progress Dr. Cho made in ‘growing’ flesh.” His smirk faded. “But they weren’t able to recover his arm.”

Happy winced. “Is a prosthetic at least possible?”

Rhodey shrugged. “The doctor didn’t say. But knowing Tony, I’m sure he’ll create something. I have a feeling he may stop being Iron Man, but he could never stop building. Inventions are a part of him.”

Peter sat up, startling the adults around him. Sweat beaded his forehead, and he was gasping like no air was getting in his lungs.

“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” May asked, shifting herself so she was facing her nephew. “Did something happen? Was it a dream?”

Peter’s breathing slowly evened, but he clenched his eyes shut. “It felt...” He coughed, causing his body to shudder. “It felt so real.” He glanced up at May. “I saw – I saw Mr. Stark, I saw him –” He choked up, unable to continue.

“Oh, Peter.” May pulled him into a hug. “It was just a dream. I promise.”

Peter buried his face into his aunt’s shoulder, unable to respond.

Pepper hesitated, then adjusted how she was holding Morgan as she moved next to Peter. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet, kid,” she said gently. “But only if you want to.”

Peter gripped his aunt’s shoulder tightly, but then relaxed his body and turned his attention to Pepper. The moment he did so his eyes widened. “Is she...?”

Pepper chuckled. “Peter Parker, I’d like you to meet Morgan Stark.”

At the sound of her name, Morgan’s focus drifted away from braiding her mother’s hair to the teenager sitting in front of her.

“Morgan, you remember Peter, right?” Pepper asked. “Daddy told you a lot of stories about him.”

Morgan beamed. One of her front teeth was missing. “Spider-Man!”

Tears welled in Peter’s eyes, but he rubbed them away, smiling at the girl. “That’s me.”

Morgan held her arms out for him to take her, but Peter hesitated, looking towards Pepper for permission. Pepper nodded and carefully handed her child into the teen’s shaking arms.

Peter’s face was pale as he situated Morgan in his lap, but his brown eyes glimmered with a mixture of happiness and hope. Morgan fiddled with Peter’s collar, a satisfied smile on her lips.

“So, your dad has told you stuff about me?” Peter asked, grinning at the child and ruffling her hair. “I’m flattered.”

Morgan nodded. “Mhm! He says Spider-Man is the best superhero ever. He told me a story about how Spider-Man saved New York from a evil villain who looked like a robot-vulture by crashing a whole plane!” She frowned. “He also said that Spider-Man would stay out past his bedtime and that I shouldn’t do that.”

Peter snickered, not noticing how with his laughter came a lightening of everyone’s mood in the room. “Well, sometimes bedtimes have to be ignored in pursuit of justice.”

Morgan giggled, and the two quickly became lost in exchanging short, silly stories about Spider-Man and his clumsy sidekick, Iron Man.

Happy and Rhodey became engaged in a conversation about some TV show. Pepper turned to talk to May, but paused when she realized the woman’s attention was glued to Peter. After a moment, she reached out and placed her hand on May’s shoulder.

“That’s why, isn’t it?” May murmured. “For them.”

Pepper watched as Peter started to braid Morgan’s hair, both grinning from ear to ear. She found herself smiling. “Yes. That’s why.”

xXxXxXx

“You’re allowed to see him now.”

The five shot up from their seats almost in unison. Peter nearly dropped Morgan.

The doctor held up their hands to prevent the group from rushing in. “But not all at once. And for no longer than twenty minutes in total. Understand?”

“Yes,” Pepper said, taking the initiative. “We understand. Thank you for letting us know.”

The doctor nodded. “Alright. I’ll be back in around half an hour. I’m trusting you not to exhaust him, or else higher-ups will have my head.”

“Of course,” Pepper reassured them. “Again, thank you for everything.”

The doctor hesitated, but nodded a second time and left.

“You can see him first, Happy,” Pepper said. “I know you’re itching to get back to SI.”

A guilty look formed on Happy’s face. “Yes, but I shouldn’t – it should be you –”

Pepper rolled her eyes. “Go ahead, Happy.”

“I’ll join you,” Rhodey said, clapping him on the shoulder. “I was supposed to be back at the pseudo-compound two hours ago.”

Pepper nodded, stepping aside and allowing the two to enter.

Rhodey made sure to pull the door shut behind him, unsure how much bright light Tony should or should not be exposed to. He hadn’t thought to ask the doctor. “Hey, Tones,” he said, sitting in the chair on his friend’s right side, Happy taking the one on the left. “Forgive me for the awkward icebreaker, but how’s it going?”

Tony was sitting up in the hospital bed, although not at a 90 degree angle. He managed a laugh, somehow, despite the tubes in his arms – arm. His arm. “Oh, not bad, honeybear. All things considered.”

“Maybe this is a premature question, but how does it feel to be the person who saved the entire universe and lived to tell the tale?” Happy asked.

Tony shrugged, which looked... odd with only one arm. “Not sure how much credit goes to me, really. Banner brought everyone back. Carol beat Thanos into the dirt. Steve wielding Mjolnir and Thor with Stormbreaker took out half of the enemy army. The Wakandans gave us the numerical edge. Nat...” He trailed off, and the room was silent. “Nat got us the Soul Stone. It was all of us who won. Together.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Pulled back from the brink of death after saving everyone, yet somehow modest?” He smirked. “That’s not the Tony Stark I know.”

Tony laughed, and his shoulders relaxed for the first time since the two had entered. “I would apologize, but I bet that’s also too modest for you, isn’t it?”

“Damn right.” Rhodey wiped tears from his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d started to cry. He stood, leaning over the hospital bed and pulling Tony into a tight hug, somehow managing to not pull the IVs out of his friend’s arm. “God, I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“It’s because this time, I rode with you,” Tony replied, his voice muffled in Rhodey’s shoulder.

“And you’re going to keep riding with me.” Rhodey released his friend, giving him as brave a smile as he could muster. “Pepper’s going to call me the moment you get out of the hospital, and I’m gonna rush over so we can ride back together. Got it?”

Tony nodded, grinning. “Roger that, Colonel.”

Rhodey snorted. “Right.” He saluted his friend. “See you later, then.”

Tony saluted in response. “Forgive me for not using my right hand.”

Rhodey said nothing for fear of his voice breaking. He nodded before stepping out the door.

Happy stood from his chair, moving next to the bed. He offered his hand, and Tony took it. “Get well soon, Boss. SI employees miss those occasional visits from you. There’s a stack of cards waiting for you at your room in the tower.”

Tony chuckled. “Understood.”

As Happy left the room, May stepped in.

“Ms. Parker,” Tony said, surprised. “Is Peter here?”

“He’s outside. I just wanted to thank you in person.”

Tony frowned. “Thank me for what?”

“For taking care of Peter. And for bringing him back to me. Five years without him...” Tears lined the corners of May’s eyes, and she gave him a sad smile. “I’ll admit that I’ve never been a big fan of you, Stark, but...” She shook her head. “You’ve given me my world back. And God knows I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Tony offered May a soft smile. “Thank you for sharing your world with me.”

May laughed, wiping away her tears. “It’s the least I can do. I’m sure Peter’s already made plans to visit your new place over the summer.” She glanced at her watch. “I’ll let you see Peter now. You’ve only been given twenty minutes of visitor time, and eight of them have now been used.”

May left the hospital room to see Peter trying and failing to return Morgan to his mother’s arms.

“No!” Morgan shouted, clinging tightly to Peter. “I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay with Pete!”

Peter flinched at her words. “Morgan, your mom will be mad at me if I keep you for too long. She wants to hang out with you, too, you know.”

Morgan buried her face in Peter’s neck. “I don’t care!”

Pepper laughed. “Alright, Morgan. Don’t worry. You can stay with your brother.” She didn’t fail to notice how Peter flushed bright red at her words. “But I do need you to loosen your grip on Peter, okay? You don’t want to choke him.”

Morgan did as instructed, though she didn’t let go completely.

“Tony’s waiting for you,” May said to her nephew, holding the door open. “He misses both of you very much.” She shut the door after the two entered.

“A visit from both his children.” Pepper smiled. “Every father’s joy.”

xXxXxXx

“H-Hey Mr. Stark,” Peter stammered. He flinched as the door was pulled shut behind him. “Uh... How’s it going?”

“Daddy!” Morgan said excitedly, reaching forward and nearly causing Peter to fall over.

Tony laughed at the sight. He shifted slightly on his bed, making more room on his right side. “You can let her sit here, Pete.”

Peter nodded and carefully set Morgan down next to her father. The fact that he was placing her down in the space where Tony’s right arm used to be was almost nauseating. He then grabbed a chair and pulled it up next to his mentor’s bed on the other side before sitting down.

Morgan contented herself with playing with the sheets of the hospital bed. The fact that her father lacked a right arm did not seem to concern her.

Peter was impressed.

“I missed you, kid.”

Peter stiffened when Tony broke the silence. “I - uh, thank you?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “What are you thanking me for now?”

“For saving the universe! And bringing me back! And... And all that stuff.”

Tony hesitated, then said, “I know this really isn’t what you want to be asked right now, but do you... Do you remember what happened? On Titan?”

“Sort of.” Peter bit his lip, shrugging. “I mean, it feels like it was only yesterday for me. But you’re asking about when I disappeared... Right?”

Tony nodded.

“Yeah.” Peter sighed, his shoulders slumping. “I remember. My body felt like it was numb and on fire at the same time, and then it started to crumble and I could just – just feel myself fading, and, and –” He stopped, covering his mouth with his hand. He shook his head. “I’m – I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Tony reached out and brushed away the tears falling down Peter’s cheeks.

Peter hadn’t even realized he’d started crying.

“Kid, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Tony whispered. “It never should have been you.”

Peter wanted to protest, wanted to tell him that there was nothing he could have done, wanted to remind him that there was only one future in which Thanos could be defeated and they were living in it, but he couldn’t. No words would come. Instead, all he could do was lean over and sob into the chest of the man he dared not call a father for fear of losing him. Tony’s arm was wrapped around him in an even tighter hug than they’d shared on the battlefield.

They remained that way for several minutes. Peter’s sobs only started to quiet when Morgan joined in on the group hug, petting her almost-brother’s hair and telling him it would be okay and that it was okay to cry.

“I love you 3000, Peter!”

Peter sniffled as he slowly sat up. He was sure his eyes were red. “I think Morgan gets her comforting skills from Ms. Potts.”

Tony laughed, and Peter noticed that his mentor, too, had been crying. “I think you’re right.”

Peter glanced at the clock on the wall. “I have to go now. I know you want to talk to Ms. Potts before they shut down your visiting time.” He stood, and started to move towards the door. He stumbled as Morgan reached out and grabbed his arm. “And I guess I’ll be taking your daughter with me, Mr. Stark,” he added, laughing as he picked Morgan up. “But we’ll both come visit again later.”

Tony nodded, then raised an eyebrow. “Wait, ‘Mr. Stark’? I thought we were on a first-name basis now.”

Peter shook his head. “Nah. That was a near-death scenario. You haven’t earned that right from me in everyday conversation.”

Tony gasped in mock-offense, but his face soon shifted into a genuine grin. “Alright, kid. We’ll see how long that attitude lasts.”

Peter didn’t say anything as he left, instead winking before nudging the door shut with his foot behind him.

Tony didn’t have to wait long before Pepper joined him.

“Hey Ms. Potts,” he greeted as she sat in the chair Peter had previously occupied. He noticed the tearstains on her cheeks. “Mm, did you miss me? Cry a few tears for your long-lost husband?”

Pepper managed a laugh. “Tears of joy. I could never get remarried.”

“Well, neither could I.”

There was a pause before Pepper spoke. “So what do you think about Peter and Morgan?”

Tony snickered. “Oh, I think I’m going to hire him as much as possible for babysitting.”

“Well, we both know that will backfire.” Pepper smirked. “You won’t want to leave the house if the both of them are there.”

Tony tilted his head, as if contemplating her words. Then he grinned. “Okay, yeah. You’re right.”

“Mhm. Aren’t I always?”

Tony beckoned her. “Come here.”

Pepper rolled her eyes, but she knew exactly what he wanted. She leaned forward and kissed him, running a hand through his hair and ignoring how his beard scratched her face. God, she missed him. When she pulled away, she couldn’t help but laugh at his goofy smile. “I take it you’re a bit touch-starved?”

“Only in the purest of senses.”

“Right.”

Tony glanced at his right arm - or rather, where it used to be. “No more Iron Man, huh?”

Pepper leaned back in her chair and gave him a soft smile. “You don’t have to hide it. I know that fact doesn’t upset you as much as you think it should.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s okay to want to rest, Tony. You’re getting old. I think a life of retirement will suit you.”

Tony snorted. “Wow, you think I’m getting old? That hurts, Pep.”

“Hey.” Pepper reached out and intertwined her fingers with his. “At least we’ll grow old together.”

“You always know exactly what to say, don’t you?”

“One of us has to.”

Tony stared at his wife. Then he sighed. “You’re all I have, Pep.”

Pepper released his hand as she stood up, shaking her head. “No. You have so much more than just me. You know that.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I’ll be back to visit as soon as I can. You need to get some rest.”

Tony chuckled. “Yes, Dr. Potts.”

Pepper laughed before leaving the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

Peter was now playing a game of hangman with Morgan. May was watching and whispering letters in Morgan’s ear as Peter pretended to be angry about it.

“You know, I’m pretty sure this is cheating.”

“Mm, I don’t think so.”

“The word is ‘heart’!” Morgan said, giggling. “Heart, heart!”

Peter sighed. “Darn. You got it again.” He ruffled her hair. “You’re way too good at this, Morgan.”

“Okay, my turn!” Morgan took the paper and pencil from him, drawing four and then three blank spaces. “Guess a letter.”

“E,” Peter said.

“Nope!” Morgan drew a circle. “Guess again.”

“A,” May offered.

Morgan beamed and wrote an ‘a’ in the second-to-last blank. “Yep!”

May snickered as Peter pouted.

“I,” Pepper said, joining the trio.

Morgan wrote an ‘i’ in the first blank. “Mhm!”

Peter, May, and Pepper all exchanged knowing glances.

“Iron Man,” Peter guessed, a soft smile tugging at his cheeks.

Morgan laughed, filling in the rest of blanks. “Yes! You’re so smart, Peter!”

Pepper watched with a smile dancing on her lips as Peter started tickling Morgan, May laughing as she stepped out of the way. After five years, her family was whole again. And soon, the love of her life would be able to join them.

At the back of her mind, she feared that the day would come when she might lose it all again. In the blink of an eye.

But in her heart, she knew this present, this happiness, this warmth – it was inevitable.

And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

xXxXxXx

Need more fluff to recover from Endgame? Check out Hair Dye, my collection of Iron Dad and Spider Son oneshots.

AO3. FFN.

Thanks for reading! :)

[mxliv-oftheendless]

The Bridge of the Demonic Goatman (Part 2)

Because this story is way too long to post all in one place, I’ve been forced to post it in parts. Part 1 has already been posted. Here is Part 2, where Gene, Vinnie, and Paul, go into the woods. 

Also, I realize how shitty the editing here is. Because Tumblr is being a fucking bitch (so y’know, the usual for Tumblr), this is how it’s gonna have to be. You should be able to figure out who’s speaking, though. Enjoy!

GENE [voiceover]: Perhaps more foreboding than the bridge is the woods that lies beyond it. It is rumored that for nearly a hundred years, people have disappeared near the bridge or in the surrounding woods. Along with the Goatman, people have reported seeing the ghostly figure of a woman and hearing the sounds of a woman’s voice or laughter. There have also been sightings of flashing lights.

--

[Paul, Gene, and Vinnie are now walking through the woods. Like on the bridge, the only parts of the forest we see are the parts lit up by their camera flashlights. Everything else is pitch-black]

PAUL: Okay, I will admit… this is pretty creepy.

GENE: I feel like I’m in every damn horror movie I’ve ever seen, and I hate it.

VINNIE: This reminds me of the time I went camping with my Boy Scout troupe.

PAUL: You don’t seem the type to have been in a Boy Scout troupe.

VINNIE: I wasn’t. My dad made me sign up. He let me quit after fifth grade, though.

PAUL: Oh, okay.

GENE: Guys, seriously… I’m gettin’ pretty nervous now. [shouts into the woods] Is there anyone out there?

PAUL: [shouts] Hello!

[there is no response apart from crickets. They continue walking]

GENE: People usually report being overcome with emotion in here.

VINNIE: Like…

GENE: Like, a violent emotion.

PAUL: Do you feel that way?

GENE: Uh, no. I don’t.

PAUL: Okay, good.

GENE: Not yet, at least.

PAUL: Just give me and Vinnie a heads-up when you start to feel… murder-y.

GENE: Yeah, I’ll do that.

PAUL: Great.

VINNIE: Thanks, Gene. 

--

GENE [voiceover]: These woods are rumored to be the sight of Satanic rituals, attempting to conjure demonic entities. One paranormal investigator claimed to have found animal remains, suggesting evidence of sacrificial rituals. In fact, one local police officer told us that local pet stores stopped selling cats due to the amount of sacrificed cats being found in these woods.

Oh my God, they killed the cats? Did any survive?

Uh, no, not that I know of.

Those poor cats…

By the way, I forgot to mention, these woods are also dangerous because of the people that may be in there.

I mean, people can be greater threats than demons or ghouls, so… that’s fair.

I just realized we don’t have a way to defend ourselves if we get attacked by a person.

We probably won’t get attacked, Gene.

I have a keychain knife if that happens.

Oh, well good. If we get attacked, we’ll just let Vinnie save us.

I don’t think a keychain knife will—

The nutcases that live in the woods will cower in fear before Vinnie Vincent and his mighty keychain knife.

*wheeze* Ha ha…

*sigh* Never mind.

You’re my hero, Vinnie.

Thank you.

--

[cut back to Gene, Paul, and Vinnie walking through the forest]

GENE: Is there anybody out here?

PAUL: Any… Any cultists? Any Satanists? Anyone up to some crazy cult stuff out here?

VINNIE: Anyone cutting off the head of a defenseless, innocent cat?

PAUL: Still mad about that, huh?

VINNIE: Yes.

[they continue walking, swinging their flashlights around]

GENE: Y’know, guys, I feel like we might genuinely come to close to dying some episode.

PAUL: You think so?

GENE: Yeah… Who in their right mind would go actively searching for ghosts and demons, and make more than one attempt to contact them?

VINNIE: Ah, but remember, Genie: if we’re doing that, then clearly we’re not in our right mind.

GENE: … I guess that’s fair. [he stops and points his flashlight off to the side of the path]

PAUL: You hear something?

GENE: Yeah, I thought I—oh fuck! [camera cuts to looking into the bushes, lit up by Gene’s flashlight] I saw something move. I don’t what’s over there, but I saw the bushes move.

[they move closer to the bushes]

PAUL: [shouts] Hello?

VINNIE: Anybody there?

GENE: Hello? [pause in which nothing happens] Christ…

PAUL: I did see the bush move…

GENE: [swings his flashlight as he looks around] Did you hear that?

VINNIE: Hear what?

GENE: I heard a scream.

PAUL: You sure?

GENE: I’m serious, I heard a scream.

--

FOOTAGE REPLAY: when Gene, Paul, and Vinnie are looking into the bushes.

PAUL: I did see the bush move…

[in the background, amongst the sounds of crickets, there is the sound of a female scream]

[the footage replays over again and the scream is heard again]

--

GENE: Hello?

PAUL: Anyone out there?

[silence]

PAUL: What if we pretend we’re in on it?

VINNIE: Like we’re cultists as well?

PAUL: Yeah.

GENE: I want to tell you to not do that… but I also know you’re gonna do it anyway.

PAUL: Yep. [shouts aloud] We’re here for the cult stuff!

VINNIE: We saw the ad on Craigslist!

GENE: Do you seriously think a cult would advertise itself on Craigslist?

VINNIE: It’s Craigslist, Gene. It’s the only place that would let a cult advertise itself.

[there is still silence]

PAUL: Oh well.

GENE: Let’s keep walking. I don’t want to stay in the same place for too long.

[they continue walking. Along the way they pass a sign with unreadable graffiti letters spray-painted on it]

PAUL: You nervous, Gene?

GENE: Very nervous.

PAUL: Don’t worry. Remember, Vinnie’s got his keychain knife. He’s ready to stab a bitch.

VINNIE: [nods] Yep.

--

FOOTAGE REPLAY: as Gene, Vinnie, and Paul walk past the sign.

Paul: He’s ready to stab a bitch.

[in the background, there is another distant scream, this time sounding male]

[the footage replays again and the scream is heard again]

--

[Gene, Paul, and Vinnie come to a spot where branches stick out, forming something that looks a little like a structure]

PAUL: Hey, check this out. Looks kind of like a house… Perhaps a house where witches gathered? To make spells and curses? To summon dark spirits?

GENE: [hisses] Shut up, Paul.

[they move to stand in the middle of the structure and look around]

VINNIE: This doesn’t look like a human-made house.

PAUL: Who knows, Vinnie, maybe it wasn’t made by a human at all…

GENE: I’m gonna kill you, Paul. [suddenly turns and points his flashlight into the woods] Did you hear that?

--

FOOTAGE REPLAY: Paul, Gene, and Vinnie standing in the middle of the structure.

GENE: I’m gonna kill you, Paul.

[a quiet voice is heard, a male voice yelling “Fuck!”]

GENE: Did you hear that?

[footage replays over again]

--

VINNIE: Hear what?

GENE: A voice, I thought I heard a voice.

PAUL: Who’s out there? Are you a cult member? [Paul moves out of the structure further into the trees. Vinnie follows with Gene behind Vinnie]

PAUL: C’mon out!  

GENE: Paul—

PAUL: Take off your cloak!

VINNIE: Release the cat you’re about to murder.

[they move closer together as they walk. There is complete silence. Gene suddenly stops and startles]

GENE: Ah!

[Paul and Vinnie look. It’s a bush]

VINNIE: [smiling slightly] Just a plant, Gene.

PAUL: [definitely smiling wider than Vinnie] You got scared by a plant?

GENE: Shut up, this forest is messing with my head.

[all three of them suddenly turn around]

--

FOOTAGE REPLAY: right before they turn around.

GENE: Shut up, this forest is messing with my head.

[there is a barely audible sound of a snapping branch. They all turn around]

[footage replays over again]

--

GENE: Did you hear that?

VINNIE: I definitely heard that.

PAUL: Yep, me too.

[they move over to where they heard the sound]

GENE: Oh God…

PAUL: Who’s out there?

VINNIE: I’ve got a knife!

[silence]

PAUL: If there are any cultists out here, I must warn you, we have protection.

GENE: Goddammit, Paul, shut up!

PAUL: [ignoring him] We’ve got a keychain knife, and a water gun!

VINNIE: It’s holy water!

[silence]

PAUL: Well, I was right. There’s no one out here. Though that branch snapping was suggestive.

GENE: Yeah. Let’s leave.

--

GENE [voiceover]: Multiple investigators have picked up on the name “Steve” through EVP and spirit box sessions, perhaps the name that the Goatman or another entity is going by.

I’m sorry… Steve?

Yep. Steve.

… So you’re saying that if the Goatman truly exists, and it’s really the Goatman’s voice investigators pick up… he’s using the name Steve?

That’s pretty much it, yeah.

*snickering* That’s so fucking stupid…

What fucking demon wakes up in the morning and thinks, “You know what would be a really frightening name? Steve!” Are you making this up?

I am not making this up.

God, what a fucking copout…

GENE [voiceover]: Overall, this Goatman entity and/or the other possible entities that haunt the bridge and these woods are said to be extremely dangerous and physical with those who encounter them. People have reported being thrown, dragged, and struck, and multiple people have claimed to be scratched three times, a reportedly common occurrence in demonic attacks that is a symbolic mocking of the Holy Trinity. People have also claimed to be overcome with feelings of aggression and violence. In one instance, an investigator had envisioned murdering her entire team of investigators.

--

[back to the woods with Gene, Paul, and Vinnie. Gene has the spirit box in his hands]

PAUL: And we’re breaking out the spirit box again, huh?

VINNIE: This’ll be interesting, we’ve never used it to talk to a demon before.

GENE: Yeah, so… we’ll see how this goes. Okay, I’m turning it on. It’s gonna be loud.

[Gene turns on the spirit box. Immediately there is loud white noise]

GENE: So just as a reminder, this spirit box is flipping through radio stations at an incredibly fast rate. Every two-tenths of a second, it switches to a different channel, and it produces white noise. And conceivably, spirits could use this to communicate with us.

PAUL: Or a demon in this case.

GENE: Or a demon, thank you, Paul. If we hear a voice saying more than one word, then the chances are very good that it’s a spirit, or a demon, talking to us.

VINNIE: Can I ask first?

GENE: Sure.

VINNIE: Okay. [raises his voice] Is there anyone here with us?

[white noise is the only response]

PAUL: Let me try. [raises voice] Is there a Goatman here with us?

[more white noise. Then there is a sudden, very noticeable noise from the spirit box]

GENE: What the fuck was that?

VINNIE: Ask again!

PAUL: Is there a demon here with us?

[from the spirit box, we hear a voice saying “Stop”]

PAUL: Is there a Goatman here? We kicked you off your bridge, Goatman; got anything to say about that?

[white noise. Then a voice says what sounds like “Goatman”]

GENE: That sounded like “Goatman.”

PAUL: Say your name.

--

FOOTAGE REPLAY: Gene is holding the spirit box. We see Vinnie listening over his shoulder.

[white noise, then the voice saying “Goatman”]

[the footage, and the voice, play over again: “Goatman”]

--

GENE: Is Steve here?

VINNIE: How did you come up with the name “Steve”? You didn’t think any other name was better than that?

[more white noise. Then a voice: “Bridge”]

GENE: I heard “bridge.”

[more white noise. Then another voice, that sounds like the same voice as before: “Steve”]

VINNIE: I heard “Steve.”

--

AUDIO REPLAY:

[white noise]

“bridge”

[white noise]

“Steve”

--

GENE [voiceover]: Based on the response from the spirit box, we’ll be ending our investigation by returning to the apparent epicenter of activity: Old Alton Bridge. Once there, we will perform a ritual that we have never performed before on this show, and that I have never done before in my life.

Wait, you’ve never used a Ouija board before?

Nope.

Seriously?

Yeah, seriously. I don’t screw with that stuff, man.

Gene, you’re willing to use a spirit box but not a Ouija board? C’mon…

Even I’VE used a Ouija board before.

Okay, listen, spirit boxes are different from Ouija boards. Ouija boards… they have the potential to unleash an angry spirit.

C’mon, Gene, people use Ouija boards at parties. They used to sell them at Toys ‘R Us. They’re not that scary.

You would say that… Can we just get this over with?

--

[Gene, Paul, and Vinnie are sitting in the middle of the bridge around the Ouija board. Candles are lit around them. Gene is standing, holding a large box of salt, while Paul and Vinnie are sitting on the bridge]

GENE: I just want to say for the record that this still seems incredibly stupid. We’re opening a doorway, and calling a goddamn demon to talk with us. But, luckily, I have protection. [Vinnie snorts] Shut up, Vinnie. For protection, I’m going to do this.

[Gene walks in a circle around the candles, pouring out the salt]

PAUL: A salt circle. Good idea, Gene.

[Gene finishes pouring out the salt and sets the box aside. He steps into the circle and sits down, and all three place their hands on the planchette]

GENE: So we just place our hands on the planchette and relax them. If there are spirits, then the planchette will move, because they’re moving it. Not because one of us is moving it. Got that, Paul?

PAUL: I wasn’t gonna move it! I wasn’t even thinking of moving it!

GENE: You say, unconvincingly.

PAUL: Whatever, Gene.

VINNIE: I will say, every time I’ve seen a video of someone using a Ouija board, they’re always going, “Whoa!” very dramatically. Like, you can clearly tell they’re playing it up for views.

PAUL: Are they very clearly moving it themselves?

VINNIE: Most of the time, yes. But none of us are going to move it, so… we’ll see what happens.

PAUL: So how do we start?

GENE: I guess by saying our names.

PAUL: Okay, you go first.

GENE: Fine. [out loud] This is Gene.

[they move the planchette across the board to spell out Gene’s name]

PAUL, GENE, and VINNIE: G, E, N, E.

PAUL: I’m Paul. [they spell out Paul’s name]

PAUL, GENE, and VINNIE: P, A, U, L.

GENE: [muttering] Still can’t believe we’re doing this…

VINNIE: And I’m Vinnie. [they spell out Vinnie’s name]

PAUL, GENE, and VINNIE: V, I, N, N, I, E.

GENE: Is there anyone out here, who would like to speak with us?

[silence. They all wait, looking down at the board. The planchette does not move]

PAUL: I just thought of something. If you put salt around us, doesn’t that mean Goatman can’t get to the Ouija board?

VINNIE: … Oh, God, you’re right. Gene—

GENE: But the salt would trap him in here with us. That’s what we want.

PAUL: Well yeah, but what if he was outside the circle when you did it?

GENE: … Well, what do you want me to do about it?

PAUL: Give him an entrance.

GENE: [pauses, then sighs heavily] Fine. [he turns his body around, without taking his hands off the planchette, and blows at the salt] Vinnie, you blow by you.

[Vinnie turns and blows at the salt. Paul does the same, and takes one hand off the planchette and brushes some of the salt away]

PAUL: There. There’s your opening, Steve.

[Vinnie laughs]

[they all turn back around to the Ouija board, and Paul puts his hand back on the planchette]

GENE: If there’s anyone out there that wants to speak with us, now’s the time. What’s your name?

[for a couple beats of silence, there is nothing. Then…]

VINNIE: Oh my God.

PAUL: Oh shit.

GENE: Oh, fuck…

[the planchette is moving, very, very slowly, across the board]

GENE: Fucking—Paul, are you moving it?

PAUL: I swear to God, I’m not moving it. Are you?

GENE: No, I’m not moving it! Vinnie?

VINNIE: I am not moving it.

[they watch the planchette move]

PAUL: It’s going pretty slow.

GENE: If it spells out “Steve”…

VINNIE: If it spells out “Steve” I might start going back to church.

[the planchette moves over the letter “S”]

PAUL: Go faster, you demon fuck!

[Gene and Vinnie jump. Then they start to laugh, Vinnie harder than Gene]

VINNIE: Jesus Christ, Paul…

GENE: Just dropped all decorum, huh?

PAUL: [laughing] I wanted to see if I could catch it off-guard.

GENE: Okay… Well, we have an “S.”

PAUL: How about this? If you can’t spell out your name, then this bridge is officially mine!

GENE: Dammit, Paul…

VINNIE: Seems fair to me.

PAUL: Yeah, it’s perfectly fair.

[the planchette has slowly moved up to the letter “G”]

GENE: I thought it was going for the “E,” but no, that’s “G”.

VINNIE: “G” for Gene?

PAUL: He does know your name. Maybe it’s you he wants, Gene.

GENE: I’m ignoring you two.

[camera circles around Gene, Paul, and Vinnie, looking down at the Ouija board as intense music plays]

GENE: All right, demon, this is your last chance. Tell us your name.

PAUL: Remember the deal.

GENE: [sighs] Okay, yeah, fine. If you can’t spell out your name, it’s Paul’s bridge.

[silence. They wait. Nothing happens]

VINNIE: Well, I guess that settles it.

PAUL: [loudly] This bridge is mine now!

[they take their hands off the planchette]

GENE: Guess that’s it.

PAUL: Ouija boards are crap.

VINNIE: Guys, we still have to close it.

GENE: Oh right.

PAUL, GENE and VINNIE: [move the planchette across “GOODBYE”] G, O, O, D, B, Y, E. [they take their hands off the planchette]

PAUL: Goodbye!

VINNIE: Goodbye, Goatman!

GENE: All right, let’s clean up and get the hell out of here.

[they move to clear away the salt and blow out the candles]

PAUL: Got anything you wanna say, Gene? You were pretty anxious about this all night.

GENE: I mean, I would say I’m feelin’ pretty good right now. I conquered it.

VINNIE: Yeah, you did. We’re proud of you, Genie.

GENE: I’ll just say goodbye, how about that?

PAUL: Yeah, gloat a bit, Gene. This is a win for you.

GENE: [raises his voice] Well, demons… this has been fun. It’s been real… real weird, but hey. So… goodbye. See ya.

PAUL: [picks up a candle and holds it up] As we snuff these candles, so too do we snuff you from this mortal world. [blows out the candle] You fucking cowards.

[Vinnie laughs]

GENE: Paul, if you get dragged off this bridge and thrown into the river, I won’t come and rescue you.

PAUL: He says unconvincingly.

--

[as Gene’s voice narrates, we see a montage of footage from the entire night]

GENE [voiceover]: Nobody knows why the Goatman and surrounding entities haunt this area, and even though we never encountered anything, I personally don’t doubt its existence. Either way, we have once again opened the door for a dark entity to enter our lives. There is a small part of my mind that is disappointed we never saw him, but I would be lying if I said I also wasn’t a little relieved. Regardless, whether or not the Goatman’s Bridge is truly infested will remain… UNSOLVED.

--

[as the credits roll, we cut back to the car. Gene is driving, Vinnie is in the passenger seat, and Paul is in the backseat. Through the windshield, we can see dawn slowly breaking]

VINNIE: I’m sorry, I still can’t get over the fact that the Goatman supposedly goes by the name Steve. [Paul laughs] That’s so fucking lame.

GENE: This experience has taught me nothing, except that you two are fucking weirdos. You know that, right?

PAUL: Ah, you love us.

GENE: I wouldn’t call it “love.”

VINNIE: He says unconvincingly. 

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED SUPERNATURAL

What unsolved mystery do you want to see next?

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [720]

Sera nearly drops a glass pellet containing extremely dangerous, extremely expensive, extremely nasty acid when the door to her basement laboratory slams open with no warning. Sera also almost nearly throws the glass pellet at the person who came barreling in through the door, but the years have made her soft because she goes for a knife instead.

“The Warden Commander is here,” Alistair says, all wide eyes, round cheeks, and youth. Fucker. Sera used to have that. Then the Warden Commander happened to her and look at where she is now. In a fucking dungeon in the middle of the Frostbacks making volatile glass pellets filled with acid to stick in her arrowheads.

“So?” Sera asks.

“She’s here! She met up with the Inquisitor and — and apparently she was riding a dragon.”

Sera’s mind flashes to gross images of Lavellan and Bull riding a dragon. And then grosser images of just Bull riding a dragon. And then worst of all — Lavellan and Bull making moony eyes at each other while a dragon is involved. Yuck. Ugh. Gross. Fuck. Nasty shit. Eugh.

“Did she kill it?” Sera asks.

Alistair’s eyes are so wide they look like they’ll roll out of his head any second now.

“She called a maelstrom and impaled it with a single strike of lightning.”

“You can’t impale something with lightning. It’s just light,” Sera says, carefully setting her glass pellet down on her work table before turning and herding the young, incredibly impressionable young man out of her lab before the overgrown puppy goes and breaks something. “Why was there a dragon?”

“I don’t know, I ran to get you because you said to let you know when she’s here,” Alistair says. “She’s in the courtyard right now with the rest of her people.”

“Her people, or his people?” Sera asks, then shakes her head. “Dunno why I asked you that, how would you know the difference?”

“Aren’t they all her people?”

“Thanks for illustrating my point perfectly. How’s the Inquisitor?”

“Neria’s fine, she’s a little awestruck though. I think she wants to fight the Warden Commander.” Alistair pauses. “Is it blasphemy that I think she might win?”

“No.” Sera’s had it up to here with people thinking Lavellan is the shit. Lavellan’s pulled some stupid shit in her life, but she isn’t the shit. There’s definitely people existing in this world that are more impressive than Warden Commander Ellana Lavellan. “Wait, she came in with Bull? I thought he just left here, like, a month ago. You mean to tell me that tit just up and found her after we’ve all been trying to get her to answer a single letter for four years? The fuck.”

Sera storms ahead, outpacing Alistair and leaving him in her dust. She squints, holding her hand up to the afternoon sunlight as she blazes through the courtyard.

And there she is.

Warden Commander Ellana Lavellan, Hero of Ferelden, ender of the Fifth Blight, pain in Sera’s pasty white ass. And she’s got her stupid prissy deer with her.

“Lavellan,” Sera yells.

Ellana turns towards her, beaming, throwing her arms up in the air — everyone around them suddenly flinches. She thinks she sees someone running for cover. Someone actually falls to the ground cowering. — and waving at her. “Sera!”

Sera practically runs up to her, and attempts to slug her one good one.

Ellana doesn’t let it land, she neatly dodges and swoops Sera into a hug.

“Sera! I’ve missed you!”

Sera grimaces. But she’s Lavellan trained and she goes limp, it’ll end when it ends. You just gotta ride it out. “If you missed me you couldn’t — I dunno. Visited? Wrote a letter? What the fuck and where the fuck have you been you frosted tit? Or at least given someone a heads up about where the hell you’ve been so we weren’t all thinking you went and off’ed it?”

“Well. I would have but I lost my bird,” Ellana says. “And I felt silly asking to borrow someone else’s bird when they didn’t know me.”

“You’ve lost your head,” Sera replies. “Your the fucking Warden Commander, you lost your bird and you couldn’t get a new one?”

“It would be a waste of resources, wouldn’t it? Besides. It turned out fine,” Ellana says, letting Sera go, stepping back, hands on Sera’s shoulders to look at her. “You grew up so well!”

“Shut up, we’re only like, nine years apart.”

“You were so little!”

“Shut up, you old hag.”

“I’m so proud of you! I always knew that you’d do amazing things if you just applied yourself.”

“I think I’m dying.” Sera glances at Bull. “Stop her. I’mma lose face in front of.” Sera gestures outwards towards all of Skyhold. “The thing.”

“Listen, the entire trip back here it was one non-stop roast session for all of us,” Bull says, gesturing towards himself and the rest of the Chargers, “It’s my full intention that every single person we run into that she might vaguely remember gets the same and complete treatment.”

“Harsh,” Sera says. “Oh shit, where’s Rutherford.”

“Digging his own grave, I imagine,” Neria says, sharp eyes focused on Ellana as Ellana looks around Skyhold, ooh-ing and ah-ing like she’s some kind of country bumpkin. She was. She’s not anymore. She’s seen more than one castle. Sera knows for a fact that she’s broken herself out of castles fancier than these. “You performed a fifth level spell like it was nothing. How did you do it?”

“Do what?” Ellana says. “Fifth level? What’s that?”

It’s hard to tell when Ellana’s being a dick and when Ellana’s being her normal charming oblivious self. Sera still has a hard time now.

“De Fer made sure to ban the teaching of certain magics in the Circles after you,” Sera explains. “Like changing the weather instantly.”

Ellana gives Sera the blanket, dumbest gold-fish look that Sera didn’t miss at all.

“Babe, I think Surana’s asking you about the storm you summoned when we were fighting the dragon,” Bull says.

“I’ve been asking about it for a week,” Neria hisses. “What else could I have been asking about?”

“I don’t know,” Ellana says. “I didn’t realize it was impressive is all. I mean, you have a magic hand that can seal demons and get you to walk through the Fade. Vivienne really banned basic elemental atmospheric conversions? Disappointing. Also, I was never in the Circle so it doesn’t matter, does it?”

“No, she banned them until mages completed a certain level of training and showed a certain amount of self control because she saw the kind of stupid bullshit someone like you could pull with it and decided that hey, maybe they could limit some damage if these kind of spells weren’t just out there for literally anyone to find. Doesn’t matter that you weren’t in the Circle, she just figured maybe she could like, you know. Lessen the chances of someone crazy being able to control the weather.”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 251: Help I Love a Manga Too Much

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi answered the age-old question of “can the Todorokis ever be together for more than five minutes without lapsing into a daytime soap opera?” with a resounding “HAHAHAHA.” Fuyumi and Shouto sat down with Kacchan and Deku and told them all about their super-dead brother Touya, whose death -- and you’ll be shocked to hear this -- apparently had something to do with Endeavor. What exactly happened, though, we don’t actually know, because they didn’t tell us, because of course they didn’t. Anyway, so then Fuyu bid everyone farewell and they piled into the Endeavormobile and started to drive away. Except they didn’t get very far, because all of a sudden some guy was like “HEY ENDEAVOR I’VE KIDNAPPED YOUR SON, NATSUO” and Endeavor was like “!!!” and the guy was like “AND I’M GONNA KILL HIM, WHEEEE” and then the chapter ended. Anyway so we all agree this family is cursed, yes?

Today on BnHA: Ending, who really doesn’t have much depth to him beyond continuously screaming “SO ARE YOU GONNA KILL ME ENDEAVOR?? HUH?! COME ON AND DO IT! I FUCKING DARE YOU TO DO IT! COME ONNNNNNN”, keeps on doing that. After about three seconds, the Terror Trio gets bored of sitting around not kicking ass, so they explode out of the car to join in the action. Since they all have impeccable senses of narrative timing, they simultaneously choose this moment to figure out all that shit Endeavor was trying to teach them a few chapters ago, with the end result being that (1) Shouto uses Flashfire, (2) DEKU USES BLACKWHIP YESSSSS, and (3) Katsuki rockets himself at fucking lightspeed to save Natsuo in the nick of time. Then Endeavor wraps Natsu (and Katsuki lmao) in a big ol’ panicked dad hug, which fully destroys me, and the chapter ends! So that was pretty quick, actually, but it sure was intense!

lmao -- what?? -- are you --

ME, TALKING TO A FOREST WITCH: so you’re saying that once I peer into this cauldron, the spell will reveal the thing I love most?

WITCH: yeah basically

ME: [peers, sees this]

WITCH: ...

ME: ... I can explain

[wiping away tears] yep so anyways. that’s my son. that’s my boy. so handsome. and talented

anyways so I guess that answers the question of whether or not the kids are gonna get involved lol. the title presumably refers to the one week of winter break that they had, which was also their time limit to try and beat a villain before Endeavor. GEE I WONDER IF THEY WILL DO IT

so Ending, our friend from last week (who apparently isn’t the “Takami” guy he was monologuing about, so so much for that), says that even under the most extreme circumstances, heroes will never choose to kill someone. and god I am so tempted to say something snarky about real life law enforcement here. but you know what, I’m not even gonna go there because this is supposed to be my happy weekly manga reading time, and lord knows Horikoshi is good enough at fucking that up himself without me adding on to it

anyway, so Ending says that despite that principle, Endeavor chose to kill that Noumu at Fukuoka. so I guess he assumes this means Endeavor just doesn’t give any fucks nowadays and will just kill ANYONE, ANYTIME, WHENEVER! sound, logical deduction there! airtight fucking reasoning

anyway this guy actually sounds seriously depressed though, and yeah this is getting dark real fast you guys

a few people pointed out to me last week that this guy is manipulating the lines painted on the road, and that’s what his quirk is (and it was also pointed out to me that he shot himself up with something akin to Trigger before he got started, so presumably he’s hopped up on those quirk roids at the moment), and now that I know I can see it actually should have been really obvious lol. anyways so yeah, looks like he’s been busy. I’m sure the three buckos strapped into the back seat of this vehicle know when they’re beat, and will use this opportunity to just take a nap or something

honestly, I could have predicted this coming even without that thumbnail lmao

also is anyone else dying at Katsuki being all BOOM!! while Deku and Todo are just “BANG” further back by the car. just a slight difference in intensity, here. it’s subtle but you can spot it if you look real close

anyway if I were Ending, this right here would be the point where I said “OH SHIT” real loudly, and screamed and dropped Natsuo and turned and hightailed it out of there with my road stripes whipping out behind me in the wind like tin cans dangling from the back of a newlywed car

LMAO CHAUFFEUR ARMSTRONG IS ALL “YOU FORGOT THESE!” AND YEETING THEIR COSTUMES OUT AFTER THEM, AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS SERIES OF PANELS OMG

Endeavor’s face is fucking SENDING ME, man, oh my god. the man has gone FULL SURPRISED PIKACHU, someone help me I can’t breathe dfklsk

AND WHAT ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO, CATCH THE BRIEFCASES AND THEN THEY’LL JUST MAGICALLY UNFOLD THEMSELVES OUT OVER THEM LIKE IN IRON MAN 2? actually, scratch that, that’s exactly what should happen. please do this. I promise I won’t even poke fun, I’ll just accept it unconditionally

LOL IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER HOLY SHIT

“911, what’s your emergency?” YES HELLO PLEASE HELP, I LOVE A MANGA TOO MUCH. “ma’am, that’s not a real emerg –”  NO, LISTEN, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

Kacchan doesn’t even look back, he just reaches his hand out and knows exactly what Deku is doing without looking, and trusts his aim to be perfect. I’m so fucking weak for this teamwork I fucking sighed in real life you guys, it’s unbelievable

I can’t tell if this is Deku using “Shouto” the hero name, or if it’s now “Shouto” as in his actual name lol. because he’ll keep on using “Kacchan” no matter what, in any and all circumstances, so we can’t even use that to try and gauge lol. but anyway I’m choosing to believe it’s “Shouto” the name because they’ve now graduated to the next level of friendship after that dinner, and after Fuyu clasped his hand in both of her own and was all “I want you to know that I approve of the two of you together with all of my heart” or whatever it was she said, but it was basically that. so anyways yeah after that they’re now on a first name basis. YOU HEAR THAT, SHOUTO?

and then, with these bottom three panels, I know this is supposed to be all “click/bzzz/whrrr/other high tech costume-changing sounds” and it’s supposed to be a near-instantaneous costume change, presumably while still in motion because THEY’RE JUST BADASS BITCHES LIKE THAT, but like. in reality I pictured them all instantly grinding to a halt, and unclicking the locks on the briefcases, and Kacchan just giving his a shake to spill all the contents out haphazardly on the ground, while meanwhile Shouto is much more fastidious and respectful, and kneels on the ground and opens his case with both hands, and Deku is hopping around on one foot trying to drag his gloves on with his teeth while putting on his metal shoe-thingies, and the entire time Ending and Endeavor are just staring at the three of them like, “.....”

so anyway that’s what I choose to believe is actually happening. lastly, you also need to understand that pretty much this entire time, I’ve had the Powerpuff Girls theme playing in my head AT FULL INTENSITY on repeat, including during the part where they stop for five minutes to suit up. so there’s that, too

moving on!

TODOROKI SHOUTO, AFTER STOPPING TO CLICK OPEN HIS BRIEFCASE, RUMMAGING AROUND FOR HIS SHOULDER GUARD THINGS, LOOPING THEM OVER HIS ARMS, PAUSING TO WIPE THE SWEAT OFF HIS FOREHEAD, AND THEN FINALLY STANDING BACK UP: Natsuo!

lmao so anyway, now Endeavor is fully engaged in the fight once again, and thinking that Ending is “A FOOL” for letting himself get temporarily distracted by the interns’ shenanigans. but like. is he, though? seeing as he’s flat-out admitted to you that he wants to lose this fight? because he wants to die? did you hear that part? like, ??

so now there are some very intense closeups of Endeavor’s eye, and Natsuo’s face, and Endeavor’s feet

intense

(ETA: actually in hindsight of the hug, I fucking love this, because this is the moment where, right after he psychs himself up and is all, “now’s my chance!”, he sees Natsuo’s face and he sees the fear in his eyes, and all of a sudden he’s frozen in place, terrified of making a wrong move when his son’s life is at stake.)

-- oh snap, look who’s getting beaten to the punch!

do you guys remember that season 3 anime filler where Deku somehow beats Iida in a race and everyone just accepts it like that could ever actually possibly happen, like...?? if he can’t even keep up with Kacchan and Shouto, I hardly think he could pose a challenge to the guy who’s basically the Usain Bolt of heroes. but it’s not like that still keeps me up at night or anything. anyway!

so Ending here is giving the Todorokis a run for their money in the drama department, which is really saying something

okay, but what exactly is he supposed to do, then? you’re saying he should focus on killing you to save his son? so what, just like try to fry you and hope he doesn’t also hit Natsu? it seems to me like he has the same chance of success here whether he aims for lethal or nonlethal. so idk but go off I guess dude

oh damn, but in the meantime it looks like Todo is having some sort of badass awakening moment

YESSSSS SHOUTO UNLEASH THE INFERNO

(ETA: so Shouto just burned off his entire uniform, yes? boy you’d better keep that fire going now for modesty’s sake until you figure something out sob.)

lol so anyway I just had a flashback to Shouto’s fight against Tetsu back in chapter 205, and I realized that if Ending really wants to fight someone who absolutely doesn’t give a fuck, and will straight up kill a bitch with his quirk if they test him, then HERE’S YOUR GUY LMAO

now Ending’s saying “because you took your time...” and I have no idea where this is going, but I’ll take this as confirmation that they really did take a time-out for five minutes to gear up

oh damn

friendly reminder that gravity in BnHA tends to follow normal rules, unlike in most shounen manga. but even so, I’m finding myself hard-pressed to be concerned considering Kacchan and Deku are on the job. you’re gonna have to do better than that Ending my dude

wow is he shoving Natsu right into oncoming traffic?!

where the fuck did all these fucking cars come from out of nowhere like this?? the highway was like empty two minutes ago, geez

anyways now we’re seeing another “condense it!” panel, and is this one Bakugou??

I mean it looks like his gauntlet there, and I’m pretty sure Shouto was wearing sneakers in the panel earlier, and those obviously aren’t Deku’s shoes, so...!

YEPPPPPPPP

listen you judgey forest witch, I don’t need to justify myself to you, okay?? just!! I LOVE HIM END OF STORY

(ETA: and hey can we also just stop for a second and talk about how insanely fucking fast that was, though?? and Kacchan was fast to begin with -- remember how quickly he saved Jirou during the joint training arc. anyway so he’s basically moving at teleportation speeds now, and I’m here for it, and also terrified that he’s going to blow his fucking arms off at some point because holy fuck though.

also, once again I would like to express my gratitude for Horikoshi for once again giving Katsuki the big rescue moment, rather than having him go immediately for the bad guy. this is such an important thing to show. he’s really giving his all towards this “saving people” thing and trying his hardest and I’m so proud.)

and now it’s Deku’s turn to get to work!

that guy gripping his steering wheel for dear life has the most perfect expression I’ve ever seen, like that’s exactly the face I would be making in that situation. this chapter has had so many great facial expressions overall. I feel spoiled

[LUNGES TOWARD THE SCREEN IN ANTICIPATION!!] MOTHERFUCKER, ARE WE ABOUT TO SEE SOME BLOOP ALL UP IN THESE PAGES!?! PLEASE!!!!?

I FUCKING CAN’T WITH THIS BUILDUP?? THIS IS PAGE ELEVEN OF THE CHAPTER, AND I JUST KNOW WE’RE ABOUT TO END IT WITH A TWO-PAGE SPREAD ON THE NEXT PAGE. THIS HYPE IS TOO MUCH, I’M GONNA LOSE IT

OH SNAP NO IT WAS JUST A SINGLE PAGE!!

THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF BLACKWHIP YESSSSSS

lmao Ending looks so fucking shocked at being completely taken apart by these three kids with basically no effort. and I see that ice creeping up around him. oh, son. you tried

and then the last page is -- oh

I mean, Deku and Shouto being complete badasses (ETA: and I so wasn’t kidding when I said that Shouto will straight up murder a bitch omg), but then

aaaaand there goes my heart. hey would it kill you to give me a heads up before you just go and STUFF IT FULL OF FEELS like that?? like

just. Endeavor just ran up and gathered him up in his arms, and he’s holding him with this desperation that we’ve never seen from him before, and just... wow. it’s completely disarming and I’m almost at a loss for a coherent response. meanwhile poor Katsuki nearly got wrapped up in it as well due to proximity, but it’s not like it’ll hurt him to see this moment up close. I still have another essay I’m working on for you, you little honey badger

(ETA: on closer inspection it seems like poor honey badger actually has been fully included in the hug lmao. and at first I was thinking it was just the proximity as I said above, but you know what? if some punk kid flew in out of nowhere and saved my child’s life, you can bet I’d be wrapping them up in a bear hug too. so maybe it’s just the dad emotions getting the better of him. either way Katsuki you just gotta put up with it!)

anyways don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here thinking about how Endeavor has already lost a child (and yes I know, but like I said last week, I genuinely believe it was a tragic accident. to me that makes infinitely more sense than all of the darker/more sinister explanations. but anyways we’ll see eventually), and his family has been in shambles for so long and he’s been estranged from all of them (for good reason), and I think he finally even is coming to terms with that, and the fact that it may always be this way for him because of what he’s done. but to then almost have a second child taken from him, right before his eyes, and knowing that once again it would have been his fault, was apparently more than he could handle

and then, just the fact that he reacted in this of all ways. by openly showing tenderness and emotion, without even thinking about it, because he was so shaken up by the whole thing. this from Todoroki Enji, the most stoic, impassive, closed-off motherfucker to ever walk the earth! like, even after he clearly established that he was on the redemption path, he still never showed this kind of vulnerability. we’ve had a window or two into his thoughts and reflections, so we know he’s been experiencing remorse, and we could see it also during some of the quieter moments like him thanking Fuyumi or kneeling at the shrine for Touya. but I will tell you that I never for a moment could have imagined a scene like this. and I know it’s probably going to make some people angry because they feel like he hasn’t “earned” it or whatever. but I’ll be fully honest, at this point I’m kind of over feeling like I have to put a disclaimer every week explaining that yes, I like the Endeavor redemption arc lol. just, yeah. I like it. and anyway, so this was feels all over the damn place. fuck

(ETA: and I feel it’s worth adding here that even though Endeavor didn’t do anything to save Natsuo himself directly, it’s his guidance that enabled those three padawans to reach the next level so quickly. so in a way he did save his son: by finally moving past his self-centered mentality and taking these three kids under his wing and helping them grow. this wasn’t a victory he could have pulled off alone. but because he finally learned to see past himself, they were able to win the day and save Natsu.)

anyway, so now that all this has happened, I’m curious as to whether this is the end of this little arc! if so it’s much shorter than I expected. though obviously their internship is going to continue even after they head back to school, so it’s not like the action is just gonna come screeching to a halt. but maybe we’ll take a little break after this to catch up with the rest of 1-A, and maybe follow up with All Might to see who the great-great-grandfather of One for All is, oh snap

AND MAYBE A CERTAIN SOMEONE CAN HIT US UP WITH HIS THOUGHTS AND REFLECTIONS ON WHAT HE LEARNED DURING THIS WINTER BREAK, AND WHETHER OR NOT HE TOOK AWAY ANYTHING FROM THIS THAT MIGHT STEER HIM A BIT MORE TOWARDS HIS NEW HERO NAME. THAT WOULD BE SPLENDID. JUST PUTTING THAT OUT THERE

and having said that, I don’t really have a clean way of ending this recap this week lol so just. uh. I liked it a lot, thank you, good night

[writing-frenzy]

Wuxia/Xianxia/Xuanhuan BL story ideas for anyone who wants them.

This is basically a dumping place for the said genres, because after reading so many, I just couldn’t help but think them up, even if I will never write them. But others might like them, so I thought why not? (though if anyone ever does write something, or has seen anything similar elsewhere, please tell me so I can read them.)

Warning: ideas got long, and some themes maybe sensitive: ie: Violence, Murder, Child abandonment, fighting, torture all that good stuff you find in these genres 

First Idea: the things a Good Teacher can alter

So, basically, MC was a guy from our world, who ended up dying and being reborn into another one... centuries before a certain book he read even takes place. Needless to say, he doesn’t remember it. (after all, one can only read about so many stallion protags and their harem fun times before they all kind of bleed together into one mash up.)  

But on the other hand, being able to literally do magic and all is still very much a thing he would like, so why the hell not become a cultivator? So he joins a sect, manages to pass it’s entrance trial by the grit of his teeth and becomes an outer disciple of one of the Peak Lords, learning all he needs to from his senior brothers and sisters. Everything should be great, right? 

Well, here is the thing: it is hard as heck; Turns out, he has a constitution that makes cultivating near impossible for him. Getting out of the first stages of Qi Refining and forming his Golden Core took forever it seems, and when he finally made it to the Immortal stage, he feels as if he had been run over by a bus after he was rung out of all his energy. it’s like whatever a normal person has to do to make it, it takes him not two, not even three, but a hundred times more to accomplish. But hey, he has a thirty-ish young body for all the years he’s really been alive and he still has magic, so it could have been worst.

(though if one wants to give him a golden finger of sorts; he has an absolutely insane pain tolerance :D things that would cause even the most mighty of Martial Heros to fall would be like, ‘huh, is something poking me?’. or chronic pain is also a thing if you want to be mean :) )

Only... Now that he has time for the actual world, he notices how his Sect’s state of affairs seem to be on the decline, with less and less people there now, most of them moving on to bigger and better things, bigger and better Sects and Clans. How the politics in his own Sect seem to be going to bigger and higher stakes, and how disagreements and feuds even end up almost destroying everything, a few Peak lords even dying from it.

These reasons all combined end up making MC one of the very few Immortals Golden Core Cultivators in the sect. It is because of this, that he ends up becoming a Peak Lord.

And Irony of Ironies, he is actually pretty damn good at it. (My idea is that in a previous life, MC was a Teacher or an Office worker, or maybe even both.)

Now, MC does not have want one would usually consider a golden finger, he is not the one who gets good things in life; in fact, he usually suffers and gets little to no reward from it... The same, on the other hand, can not be said for his disciples.

Disciple 1: ends up being the long lost son of an extremely wealthy family, who dies in the original novel for tragic backstory/emotional motive/character development for a novel character, only for MC to have saved them, then kept them because oh, high constitution for cultivation + bad idea for a grieving child this pretty to go to an orphanage. (glaring at them slavers out of the corners of his eye)

MC: Hey, I know it sucks what just happened, take as long as you need to recover. and hey, if you feel up to it, after you decide what to do, you can even join my sect and learn cool things.

D1: *sees things he can learn* ... I will never be so helpless again.

*Years later*

Wandering Clan: Young Master! You are well and alive! and they have been treating you well, even letting you learn Cultivation? Truly a noble sect, worthy of our loyalty!

MC’s Sect: + 1 business division, + a bunch to treasury

Disciple 2: Sibling to one of the Harem members, had thought she had been left for dead/slavers in the original novel by their sister and had been a tough, regularly appearing villain for a while until the protag has her see the error of her ways and became a harem member as well. Only once more, does MC save her from her situation, ending up getting him her gratitude and has her actually look really close at her situation and helps her look into the mystery of it all even as he takes her as his student.

MC: yeah, I’m only hearing about this second hand, and even I can see the holes in the story couldn’t even cover a hobo’s modesty. There is obviously more to this tale then meets the eye.

D2: ... *sparkles as she learns more on how to be a detective, Cultivation style*

*Years later*

Big Name Clan head: Ah, once again you have solved such a terrible crime and even this time shown how I have been framed! Truly a noble lady such as yourself have wishes? Please let me reward you!

MC’s Sect: + 1 Big Backer, + 1 to fame + a bunch more disciples for other Peaks

Disciple 3: the actual main villain of the series, he joins his sect when, during a night hunt, one of the Sect’s Elders watches him actually manage to kill the monster due to luck and a bit of skill; unfortunately he has some sort of dark inheritance + abusive teachers and fellow students in his sect who made him disillusioned with the lighter path and chased him into darkness... only here, MC strikes again, with him finding this poor abandoned child first, saving them from getting injured and taking them home to be well cared for and properly coached through the troubles of life.

MC: Crap, damn it, oh fuck that is more blood spilling then I am comfortable with, hang on little guy I will have this treated soon.

D3:... No one has ever cared for me so much. *Childish hero worship + instant loyalty.*

*Years Later*

Fangirls and boys: AHHHH D3 is just so cool, he is so awesome, so handsome!

MC’s Sect: +1 for fame, plus a bunch of more disciples for the sect.

Disciple 4: Female Canon Fodder, originally in the novel to act parallel to the Female Lead and make her look one hundred times better in comparison in looks, personality and even morals. But here is still insecure teenage girl who, before she could be blacken and disillusioned, wants more in her life then to be an ornamental vase for a future wealthy husband, finds out that MC’s Sect not only takes women, but also actually trains them in ways of Martial arts/Cultivation/Pill Refining/Whatever? (Sign her the fuck up.)

MC: oh, you want to learn? Sure, let’s start. *is a great teacher who actually teaches equally*

D4: *is a wide-eyed sponge* I will follow.

*Years Later*

D4′s Clan: Ah, yes, that great girl is indeed a daughter of our clan, bringing glory and honor to our names, with men lining up only in hopes she will but glance at them. 

MC’s Sect: + a Big Backer, + Fame, + more followers

Disciple 5: The Hidden Boss; the illegitimate son of a family (from wife or husband, whichever you desire), was outcast from them all without ever knowing why, not even allowed to learn his family’s martial arts and abilities even though he was incredibly talented and skilled at everything else he learned. In the original novel, he at first seemed like a helpful NPC family member of Protag/Harem member who would explain or even help the Protag and his harem, them all unknowing that he was in fact causing 30% of their problems. But here, MC notices Hidden Boss’s potential, sees how these people just seem to be wasting talent and goes;

MC: Hey, I can take him in!

Those who actually care about the kid: *sees all his other ducklings and the good rumors of his teachings.* sure, better with you then here.

Those who don’t care about the kid. *Sees the funny, ‘weak’ Peak Lord of a dying sect who is pretty far away from them* sure, as long as he’s not here.

*Year’s Later:

D5: *very successful, powerful, strong, and wealthy* Hello.

D5′s Clan: *sweats*

MC’s Sect: + 1 Fame, + Money, + Honor, + a whole bunch more.

 Disciple 6: Female character who was basically created solely for the need to give the Protag character, emotional, and background development in the story, and then die in the most fan pissing off way imaginable. yeah, you know what I’m talking about, a girl giving only one dimension to her structure, who has a profound effect on the main character for how little time they were together, and then just killed off before we even get the chance to even learn more! Only here, instead of staying wherever she was before, she either gets picked up by MC early on on one of his recruitment drives or hears of the sect’s growing fame and awesome female disciples and decides she wants more (like she deserves)

MC: oh, you’re pretty good at that! I can see real talent for you here; would you like to learn more?

D6: Yes please! ^_^

*Years Later*

D6: *A Noble Empress, eyes cutting just like her sword arts, her elemental affinity working in twine with it as she delivers a finishing blow to her monsterous foe* Huh, I’m pretty sure these are some prime ingredients for Cultivation, I must be careful to preserve and dismantle effectively!

MC’s Sect: + Fame, + Fortune, + a crap ton of good things. 

Whatever order you want them to come in, it’s up to you, just have fun with it.

But yeah, these are not the only changes from the original novel; for example, MC’s sect should have been destroyed/abandoned/deserted, only a footnote because of some obscure fact that needed to be know. (example: This monster is so terrible, it destroyed three sects! or MC’s Sect is the only one who knew of a technique to cure this poison; either find a survivor/search the ruins) Only for luck, the MC, and his lucky students to have saved it all in the end.

Note: To makes things more interesting, I think it would be funny if there were more Reincarnations/Transmigrators closer to the story line, but in shock of the differences to add to the comedy value.  

Idea Two: The System messed up, like a boss!

Now, how this idea starts out is a bit different: it’s just a bit before the MC dies, showing that they have been a normal guy before they had found themselves held captive by some obsessed stalker/killer for a long time, who has made it to where if they MC ever tried to harm them in any way or form, it would just end up guaranteeing his own death.

And after enduring this literal hell for what feels like years now, here are MC’s thoughts on the matter.

MC: Okay then. *proceeds to rip his tormentor's own throat out with his teeth*

(Now, it is up to the writer if they want to hide this dark history or not, maybe hinting here and there about it.)

Cue them suddenly being connected to the system!

MC: ... what?

System: Hiiii~ I’m-

ERROR!

*Suddenly cut off, MC goes through one hell of a disorienting experience, only to wake up in some child’s body.

MC: What

Child’s Soul that still barely remains in the body: Please, I just want to see what’s beyond these walls, just once. 

*sudden mindwammy of memories of the slavery this child has gone through, the torture from their masters, the cruelty of bystanders that just stand by.*

What the child’s words in a way mean: (I want to see one good thing, just one about this world, before I die.)

MC:... Okay then. *proceeds to rip out their current body’s Master’s throat, due to surprise, his soul not be the one that is enslaved, and a strange sort of energy*

(And maybe here it could be hinted about what happened if one wants to hide the MC’s past, about how this wasn’t the first time he’s tasted blood on his teeth or ripped out a person’s throat.)

This in the end erases the remaining slave binds on him, and makes it easy to escape the mansion he is being held in. Even better, it seems the place is also being raided by some group, so it’s even easier for MC to be lost in the confusion. When he is finally far enough away, when the distance finally feels just enough, the MC lets himself fall to the ground, right next to a shrub of some sorts before he finally takes a breath and fully taking in his surroundings.

Only to lose it as he finally takes in the scenery: a pretty jade like valley of some sorts, soft hills of green turned darker and yet still shining in the moonlight from a full moon and the stars all around them. You know those pictures of places with no light pollution on islands and such? This is what he see in this moment.

And both souls are in complete awe of it.

Child Soul: so beautiful... I never knew it (the world) could be so beautiful.

MC: I forgot it could be.

Child Soul: ... Thank you! Thank you so much! *smiles and passes on to bigger and better things.

It is after this bit of peace and quiet, that finally the system comes back.

System: Ah, sorry, technical difficulties, did not expect that; Anyways, I am the System, to help you in your role for your next life!

MC: ...Role?

System: Yes! You are the “Villainous Boss’ of -insert story name here-! I am the ‘Like a Boss’ System, ensuring one will act as a truly terrifying villain!

MC: *thinking* You said the VB of that story, aren’t they -insert villian’s name-?

System: Yes!

MC: The young Master who fell from the mountains and ended up following dark paths and murky unknowns?

System: Yes.

MC: the Villain who was dark haired and eyed, who’s skin was pale as jade was said to be, and could make man and woman go mad over his charm?

System:... Yes?

MC:... I think there has been a mistake. 

1:Considering that this was a child who was sold into slavery very young, to a point they don’t even know about parents, has dealt with the hell that is slavery to cruel masters, and would have in fact died just now if MC didn’t make a way through. {2} actually does have a name, and isn’t the same at all as the Villain. {3} the Body does not in anyway have dark hair or eyes, and the skin is not pale as jade (not to mention charm, unless someone is weak for poor orphaned waifs).

Yeah, a mistake has been made.

System: ah.... oh dear; maybe you do a switch a roo?

only, turns out that they find that would be impossible as well, because not only are they way before the story line even starts, MC’s constitution is very... Strange. (Basically, because MC could be classified as a Vengeful spirit, if only for the way he died, but due to him already getting said revenge, and even helping another soul pass on to the pure lands, he has a very high, very good constitution for Cultivation... both righteous and demonic. and his body needs to maintain an about equal level between the both of them, otherwise it gets out of wack and could cause most painful death.)

So, MC has to maintain tasks from the system, acting like a boss, and do certain things (like joining certain sects, to betraying a comrade, to even slaughtering a group of people sadistically ); luckily, he doesn’t actually have to be a villain, but he does have to act like it, which gives ideas.

MC: Okay, I will be the red herring Villain! The, it’s so obvious it just can’t be them kind of guy! 

System: DX ... why not, it might work.

And hilariously enough, it does :D I imagine MC would act like a combination between Ichimaru Gin from Bleach and Murkuro from KHR, clever, twisting, manipulative, and yet surprisingly playful and cruel when one least expects it. (that he has loyal fanatical followers with yandere tendencies goes without saying, though he has no idea; He has high intelligence, can understand emotions and motives, but does at times not realize just how much people have actually bonded with him himself.)

Examples of his relationships.

Twins he found: the famous mirrored twins, one going down the path of darkness and cruelty, even as one heads for the path of good and light; maybe in the original story they had been separated, or a distance was placed between them due to misunderstandings and jealousy. MC had gotten a get one and get the other free tag a longs, finding them when they were young and hadn’t yet joined a sect, only ending up bonding with them. Though he is admittedly worried about betrayal and being put down from them in the future, he still bonds and helps them as much as he can.

Though-

Twin 1: MC! MC! I’ve gotten even better in my Demonic cultivation!

Twin 2: shhhh, not so loud! But anyways, I have gone even farther levels in my out Righteous Cultivation.

MC: ... That’s nice?

They are like his most trusted advisors/Inner circle members (of course he would have one, any good villian would :D ) completely willing to do what must be done for their brother in arms and most trusted friend. (the one who had been there for them at their lowest, the one who was able to keep them all together, sacrificing what he needed, adding so many scars to his one body just to spare them. They are the ones who best know about the man he is, for they were the ones who saw how he was forged, turning his words, his looks, and even his smiles into the terrifying weapons they are today. He is the one who showed them you can be bathed in darkness and still be ever so good, something they will help with as much as they can.   

His First Disciple: Now, MC does take his teaching duties seriously, whether he is an elder in the sect or even a peak lord (though I would think it would be awesome if he was a Librarian), so he would be very attentive with his pupil, even if he teases and gently picks on them, messing with them as they grow older. MC originally took this kid because he remembers them from the novel as the one who helps the protagonist, who was thought to be an enemy only to be the secret ally. So he is pretty sure the kid will betray him eventually, especially since he let’s them in on all his shady practices and dealings with demonic cultivatior and/or actually demon folk. And with them being a complete Kuudere, it seems that way..

Only...

1st D: I will follow my Master to the end of my days. and if my death could be of service to him, I will have died with a light heart.

MC: wtf no! No dying for me!

The kid turns completely and utterly into his proud minion, happily doing what ever his dear Master asks of him. (after all, who was it that pulled him from the darkness, who showed him such care and attention, always there with a kind word and a joke whenever he was troubled? There was no one but him who wanted him, not during these long years, only for him to be pick specifically? ha, he will follow all his days, just as long as he can remain at his side.)

Very powerful Demon Lord (not king): Someone MC met while still young and unattached to a sect thought; hey, let’s get my consorting with darkness task down! After all, this guy was a well known villain in the series, a troublemaker through and through, who betrayed and sacrificed his minions and others like pawns. Once again, MC thinks he’s going to get betrayed eventually, but hey, the guy ain’t all bad and he’s pretty friendly even! though... 

Demon Lord that is in fact in control of a very terrifying and large territory: Sir, would you like me to take your coat? maybe even a drink? *orders a very expensive and luxury wine.*

MC: *eyes him suspiciously, but nods* I am willing. 

why they insist on waiting hand and foot on him always weirds them out. (For the Half-demon, half-human, it only makes sense; this person is their benefactor, so overwhelmingly powerful, just being near them strengths them, who he has picked him up even while he was a weakling and saw promise, made a gamble on that promise and even to this day still profits. Who is honestly even more terrifying then the demon King in DL’s eyes, and desires to please him all the more, so that he too can always serve this higher life form in his eyes.)

And these are just some examples, mostly all of them would probably be the inner circle I said he had XD

But wait, you might ask; what about those tasks you mentioned, how could betraying a comrade or slaughtering a group of people sadistically be good? here we go :D

betraying a comrade:

MC: okay, so, this guy is embezzling funds, this asshole is abusing his students, and this.. one...

System: ...?

MC:... “This one is raping their own Disciples, huh?” is said ever so softly, their eyes half-lidded even as they stare at the profile picture of the filth. “When they go on their next mission, make sure I am one of their backups, hmmm? I haven’t had the chance to push anyone off a cliff yet, have I?”  

Answer: In a big sect, everyone should be your comrade; that you are betraying their expectations, their values, or even ratting them out all make it up. (and cold-hearted murder always works for the scum of the earth too!)

slaughtering a group of people sadistically: 

System: so, we have a group of Demonic cultivators consorting with slave dealers, we have some criminals over here doing despicable things there, and we have traitors over here, what do you want to do?

MC: how about all of them?

Answer: what about those no one would miss :D

Notes: I would find it so funny if the MC was actually an animal magnet; like, birds will happily eat from his hand, deer will sleep right next to him, guardian beasts will want to protect him and keep him safe because god damn it, hasn’t this poor soul been through enough?! (be cool if this was one of the reasons why the sect leader actually trusts him; he has a bond with a guardian beast that can maybe read the soul or something, which MC has no clue about, so thinks nothing about how this beast keeps wanting to cuddle him.

but you want to know what? Out of everything, with all the the MC is doing? All they truly want in life is peace and rest, maybe even a shoulder to rest his weary head upon when life gets to much. (but thanks to the system and it’s tasks, he will never be able to truly have it.)

huh, this got pretty long.... eh, I had more ideas, but I think I’ll leave it here for now. If anyone wants more Wuxia/Xianxia/Xuanhuan , I might make a part two!

[sasuhinasno1fan]

The perfect double surprise

So @ebhenah, I tried twice and hated both of my attempts so I really hope you enjoy this. I mixed your date night and planning a surprise prompts and changed it up just slightly. Enjoy.

Edit: @vldpolyexchange

Adam was focused on grading papers, music helping him focus when a pair of hands slammed on his shoulders.

“Ahh!”

He pulled his earphones out and turned around to see Matt laughing at him. Adam let out a huff. He liked Matt as a friend and also as his boyfriend’s other boyfriend, but he could be such a little shit sometimes.

“What the fuck asshole?”

“Not my fault that you don’t pay attention. I was trying to get your attention for 5 minutes.” Adam rolled his eyes. “Anyway, what are you and Shiro doing for Valentine’s day?”

Adam stopped himself from stiffening. As much as he’d love to go out with Shiro for Valentine’s, Shiro had been busy with work recently and he thought Matt should get the chance to spend the day with him. Now if he could finally get the confirmation email for their surprise.

“Um, I don’t know if we’re doing anything. What about you?”

“I don’t know if I have to work that night. We’ll see.” Matt answered.

Adam’s phone buzzed and he picked it up to look at the screen, stifling a smile. It was the confirmation email he’d been waiting for when he purchased tickets to an orchestra who would be playing some of the songs from Matt and Shiro’s favourite video game.

“Anything good?” Matt asked, leaning in trying to snoop.

“Just one of my students trying to give me a sob story about their boyfriend dumping them so they can’t finish an essay. Nothing I haven’t heard around this time. Now another question. This is my apartment; how did you get in?”

“I might have stolen Shiro’s keys.”

Adam sighed, already done with Matt. “My boyfriend is dating a kleptomaniac.”

“Hey, this klepto managed to hack into a terrorist mainframe and find their location.” Matt said, boasting about his job as a government hacker.

“Ah yes, my hero. If you’re gonna stick around for Shiro, at least go and cook something.”

“Fine. Only because we all know you’d poison all of us if you were let into the kitchen.” Matt teased.

“Hey!”

Matt covered the pot to let the keep the finished pasta warm when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

“It’s your favourite person.”

“My stuck up and terrifying boss, Kolivan?”

“Asshole! It’s Lance!”

Matt laughed. “Calm down.”

“I can just hang up and tell Hunk to take his reservations back.” Lance warned, making Matt drop the spoon he was moving.

“No, no, no! I’m sorry!” he hissed.

Valentine’s was coming up and he wanted to treat Adam and Shiro to a date night. He didn’t mind spending the day with his video games. The two deserved it, so he asked Shiro’s brother’s boyfriend if he could ask his best friend to squeeze them onto the reservation list.

“That’s what I thought.” Lance said, sounding princely. “Hunk got Shiro and Adam onto the list but it’s under your last name because Hunk can’t remember how to spell Adam’s obnoxiously long last name and the hostess kept struggling with Shirogane for some reason so he got frustrated and just put your name.”

“Ouch.” Matt said.

“I mean, some people still struggle with Keith’s last name, which isn’t far from Shiro’s but whatever. Point is, they’re on the list. You’re welcome.”

“Thank you. Are you sure you don’t want me to hack into the system at Keith’s job and get him the night off?”

“I don’t think the police force would enjoy that but thanks. He already said I can come over and have Chinese in one of the conference rooms with him.” Lance said.

“Alright.” Matt heard the front door open and the nails of Shiro’s dog Lion running in. “Gotta go. Thank you again. Whatever you need next time, it’s yours.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Lance said before hanging up.

Matt left the kitchen and pouted as Lion ran over to Adam. “Hey, she ran to me last time. What gives?”

“Oh, so I guess my kisses won’t suffice.” Shiro said, dropping his bag on the couch and walked over to Matt, who opened his arms to let Shiro pull him in to kiss. “You left the door unlocked by the way. If your going to steal my keys at least make sure the two of you are safe.”

“Everyone in this building has seen Adam mad, I’m sure they know not to rob the place.” Matt joked.

“Hey!”

Shiro laughed at his boyfriends. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but I left from your apartment this morning. What are you doing here?”

“I had to ask Adam something and I wanted to tell you something anyway. Besides, I made dinner.” A white furry body shoved her way between them. “Easy girl, you can join us.”

While Lion scarfed her dinner down, the three had sat down and dinner, talking about their day from Shiro’s job as a therapy dog trainer, the schemes Matt got into at his job and the insanity Adam dealt with in the classroom that day. Shiro took the plates to the sink and brought over a tub of Italian gelato and three spoons.

“So, what did you guys want to do for Valentine’s? It’s on Thursday.” Shiro asked, letting his boyfriends dig into the tub first.

“I have a surprise.” Adam and Matt said at the same time, making Shiro look at them.

“Is it the same thing?”

“I hope not.” Matt said. “Let me go first! I got you and Adam reservations to the restaurant Hunk works at for Valentine’s day. It’s under my last name so don’t give yours.”

Adam slowly pulled his spoon out of his mouth. “Um, Matt. I got you and Shiro tickets to that orchestra, the one who was doing a whole set of songs from that video game you like. It’s on Valentine’s day.”

“Oh.” Matt said.

Shiro looked at his boyfriends. He was really happy that each of them wanted him to spend the day with the other and he wanted to fix this. “Adam, when’s the performance?”

“Uh, 6:30 for an hour and a half.”

“Reservations?” Shiro asked Matt.

“8 because you two don’t like dinner at 7 for some reason.”

“Well then, I don’t see why I can’t do both.” The bispecaled boys looked confused so Shiro explained. “Matt and I will go to the concert and I can drop him back home and meet Adam for dinner. And if it’s ok with you guys, Adam and I can bring back dessert and we can all end the night with a movie.”

“That’s actually…” Adam started.

“A really good idea.” Matt finished.

“I’m glad you think so. Thank you you two. I’m sure there presents will be fun. And don’t worry, I’ve got something for you two as well.

“This is strange.” Matt sad, letting Adam fix the cuffs of his shirt.

“You doing an extremely casual cosplay of that character you and Shiro can’t stop drooling over?” Adam asked.

“Oh please, this is so not the first time I’ve casually cosplayed for an event like this. I mean, Shiro and I went to go see the BNHA movie the other day and we dressed in a version of their school uniform.”

Adam looked completely confused. “What? You know what, I don’t want to know. It’s enough that my boyfriend is a complete nerd. I don’t want to think about what you two nerds get into.”

“I mean you can watch.” Matt joked, Adam frowning at him. “Joking. But I was actually talking about this whole situation. I mean, Shiro, our boyfriend, spent the night at my apartment and we stayed here just so we could help the other choose outfits. Like we were like best friends or something.”

“Well, I consider you a very good friend.”

“I do to, it’s just, I also know you as my boyfriend’s other boyfriend who makes me feel compersion because you make Shiro really happy.” Matt said.

“You make him happy too. Goodness knows that if you never came along, I’d be dying trying to understand his gaming obsessions.”

“Hey. Usually we only go out with Shiro and we’ve never tried to go to something we all enjoy. My little sibling works at the local planetarium and there’s a ‘Myths behind the Stars’ event happening soon and I know you like the Greek myths a lot. I mean all of us are interested in space, maybe we can all go.” Matt suggested.

Adam’s smile was grateful. “I’d like to do that. Even though you and I aren’t dating, doesn’t mean we can’t all go out. You’re ready by the way.”

“Thanks. And thanks again for the tickets.”

“Of course. Are you sure the suit I have is fine for the restaurant? I heard what Hunk said, it’s a high establishment.”

Matt rolled his eyes. “It’ll be fine. Jez look at us, completely worried about what our boyfriend will think when we both know he’ll be completely head over heels for us anyway.”

“We are acting a bit crazy.”

Both their phones buzzed as their group chat got a new message.

“Shiro’s here. I’ll see you when we switch out.” Matt said.

“Have a nice time.”

Shiro was waiting for Matt in front the apartment, smiling when he realised what Matt was wearing.

“I’m letting you know it took everything in me not to do the same.” He said as Matt climbed in.

“Well great minds do think alike. Now let’s go. Adam said there’s supposed to be a small museum of things from the game before we go into the theatre.”

“Yes sir.”

They arrived at theatre and became the two nerds Adam had called them as they took in everything on display. When they finally got into the theatre, they were really excited for the concert.

“I’m really happy Adam got these tickets for us. It’s a shame we can’t get him into gaming.” Shiro said, resting his cheek in Matt’s hair, while the shorter one looked through the program.

“I think he’s happy with that. Hey, do you remember when you think I thought he didn’t like me?”

Shiro couldn’t help but laugh at the mess the relationship had been when Matt first joined. “Adam thought you didn’t like him.”

“He was so sophisticated.”

“And you were a complete nerd and he thought I’d just leave him for just you, just like you thought I’d dump you just to stay with him. Thank god we got that cleared up.”

“Bonding over the same insecurities, fun.”

“But I’m glad it worked out. I don’t know what my life would be without the two of you.”

Matt pulled his head away so he could smirk up at his boyfriend. “If it wasn’t for the fact that I was going to be spending the rest of the night with you and Adam, I’d think you were trying to get lucky.”

“Very funny. I’m serious.”

“Yeah, I know you are. You’d be lost without us.”

“Yes I would.” Shiro happily admitted, pressing a kiss to Matt’s lips.

“And don’t you forget it.”

“Reservation for 2 under Holt.” Adam told the hostess.

“Of course. Yes, here it is. Right this way.”

Adam took Shiro’s hand and squeezed through the unfortunate group of people who didn’t have reservations and were waiting. They were seated at a table, Shiro pulling Adam’s chair out before sitting himself. They were left with the menus and not long after a familiar face came to their table, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Hey lovebirds.” Hunk cooed.

“Hunk. Thank you for getting Matt the reservations.” Adam thanked.

“Of course. Poor guy kept begging, I couldn’t exactly say no. you are lucky that the person in charge of reservations though liked me. Don’t bother ordering from the menu, I have a set menu set up for you two.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.” Shiro tried to deny.

“Chef’s orders.” Hunk said, placing his hands on his hips.

Shiro sighed. He knew that pose. Hunk would push and push until he got his way and he always got his way.

“Can I at least request that dessert be taken home though. We have a very nerded out person back at the apartment.”

“Huh?”

“I got Shiro and Matt tickets to see this orchestra that was playing songs from their favourite game. Matt was still gushing about it when we switched.” Adam explained.

“Aww, Shiro, your boyfriends wanted to surprise you other halves.” Hunk gushed.

“Yeah, I’m a pretty lucky guy.” Shiro said, staring at Adam with a fond look as he took his hand.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of dessert. I’ll take these. Enjoy the night you two.” Hunk said, taking the menus and going back to the kitchen.

“I really am lucky you know.” Shiro said, taking Adam’s other hand, squeezing lightly at his fingers.

“I know. How was the concert though? I’m surprised I didn’t ask that on the ride over.”

“I thought Matt’s reaction would have been enough. It was amazing. Thank you for the present.”

“Your welcome. Though I think this dinner is more than enough repayment.”

Shiro couldn’t help but remember what he and Matt had been talking about while waiting for the event to start. “You know, it still surprises me that I’ve got the two of you. I remember in beginning when I started dating Matt, I was so worried you two wouldn’t get along because each of you were so sure the other didn’t like him.”

“Guess that’s proof that even V relationships still have to have communication.” Adam said, still remembering how ridiculous worried he’d been that Shiro would dump him for Matt. Now look at them, a prefect working machine to give their very deserving boyfriend all the love he needs.

“And I’m very glad that it worked out. I told this to Matt and it’s still very true, I don’t know where I’d be without the two of you.”

“Probably overworking to help people and maybe adopting too many dogs.” Adam guessed.

“You make it sound like adopting dogs is a bad thing.”

“Sweetie, Lion is enough of a handful and you’ve got me and Matt. You don’t need any more bundles of love.”

“Yeah, I guess I can’t complain with these amazing points.”

“Ohh,” Matt awed over the dessert Hunk had sent Shiro and Adam home with. Netflix was up and Shiro was choosing his pick of the three movies they’d watch for the night. “This is that lemon raspberry crepe cake Hunk makes. How did he do this? There’s no way this was on the menu.”

“It’s Hunk. I learn to just not question it.” Adam suggested.

“I do the same with Keith. And my sibling. Those two would get along.” Matt said.

Shiro uploaded his movie to their list when he remembered something. “Oh, I haven’t given you guys your gifts.” He passed the remote to Matt and got up off the couch.

“Grab some plates while your up. And a knife?” Matt asked.

“And forks, we’re not heathens Mathew.”

“That’s not what Shiro told me after last weekend when he stayed here because I had a long shift.” Matt teased, grinning as Adam turned red and threw a pillow at him.

Shiro came back with the requested items and two wrapped boxes. He checked the little marks he made on the side before handing them each to the right person. They opened the boxes to reveal a picture frame with three sets of pictures.

“Oh, this is my favourite picture of you and Matt.” Adam said looking at the photo next to the one of him and Shiro when Shiro first adopted Lion. Matt and Shiro were at the beach and Matt was on top Shiro’s shoulders.

“Hey, your pictures are different than mine.” Matt noticed. His favourite picture of Adam and Shiro wasn’t of them with Lion, it was them on a Ferris wheel with the night lights in the background. The one with him and Shiro was at their first convention together where someone happened to ask to take a picture when Shiro started carrying Matt on his back.

The last picture however was the same for them both. Adam, Shiro and Matt had a day off and decided to spend it in Disneyland and Adam insisted they all get matching headbands so they all wore matching sequenced Micky Mouse ears.

On the bottom, under the last photo the words, ‘It doesn’t matter who it started with, my life and love are complete with you two’ were etched on the bottom.

“Oh, Shiro.” Matt said looking at the words.

“Do you like them?” Shiro asked, seeming nervous, “It’s nothing like the two of you did but I wanted you two to remember how much I love you guys.”

“They’re perfect, thank you.” Adam said. “Come here.”

Shiro already knew what they wanted, and leaned down so his cheeks were presented, which had kisses pressed onto them.

“Happy Valentine’s day you two.” Shiro said.

“Happy Valentine’s day. Now can we eat the cake?” Matt asked, not even sorry as Adam and Shiro laughed at him.

[enigmaphenomenon]

Something’s up with Jack (Another Jack analysis)

I believe Handsome Jack has Borderline Personality Disorder. 

Let’s first go through the symptoms of BPD. In order to be diagnosed with BPD one needs to have repeated patterns of 5 out of 9 symptoms of BPD. I’ll go through the symptoms Jack displays. 

Google gives a very brief list of symptoms. I’ll highlight the ones Jack is shown having. 

Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint

Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness

Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism

So let’s just dive right into his symptoms. I don’t...really need to provide examples of Jack’s narcissism, do I? Because that one is obvious as all hell. 

1)  An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection. 

Oh yeah. And Jack reacts quite violently to what he perceives as betrayals and/or abandonment. If you trust Jack instead of Fiona at the end of Episode 2, and refuse to trust him in Episode 3 when he asks you too...uh...

“Oh. Oh, that’s a... shame. Because I thought--- I thought we were becoming pals. Saved your life back there and you...still don’t trust me? You know I’m uh...I’ve had to deal with this my whole damn life you know? You try to do the right thing and people just... crap all over you for it. Well, congrats kiddo. You’re the latest in a long line of Jack-shitters. Super psyched about it.” 

This isn’t the first time Jack mentions that he should have seen this all coming, he mentions it again at the end of Episode 5. 

“I should have seen this coming--ever since I came to this nacho-flavored shithole of a planet. I’ve been betrayed by everybody I gave rat’s ass about. My boss. My girlfriend. Hell...my goddamn daughter.” 

Then, of course, Jack telling Rhys...

And....

Jack has extreme violent reactions to people he views as being against him, even when they aren’t. Adding to this is Jack’s hatred of all vault-hunters due to Lilith and Roland’s betrayal and also his fear of being shot in the back if he lets his enemies live. Remember he was willing to forgive the Meriff and let him live until the Meriff tries to shoot Jack as he’s walking away. This then leads to Jack airlocking scientists just for the mere possibility one of them might be working for Zarpedon. Also, when Athena or whoever else you play suggest just rushing to the vault and not fighting Jack insists they all must die, stating that if you let your enemies live, they’ll shoot you in the back. 

2)  A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn't care enough or is cruel. (People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, with nothing in between. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash from your rapid swings between idealization and devaluation, anger, and hate.)

Moxxi, Rhys, Angel, and his second wife. 

Moxxi says he was clingy and that’s why she dumped Jack, Jack blew up her slaughter dome thing due to this, but this doesn’t stop him from asking her for help to fight against Zarpedon. 

Rhys? Aw man just take a look at this switch. 

“Oh, wow. I wish I could hug you right now. I’m gonna make a robot that just hugs you when I tell it to. I’m so proud. I’m so proud of my special boy! This is a perfect partnership, Rhys. You trusted me. I trusted you, and now we’re here! Man--never really had a partner I could count on before. Feels kinda dope”

No Jack, Rhys doesn’t want a giant Endoskeleton to crawl inside his body. 

“This was YOUR chance to make history, you moron! To be part of a legacy! To matter for once in your useless little life!”

Angel doesn’t need to be explained right? In the ECHO logs in Borderlands 2 Jack cycles between being amiable towards her and then lashing out at her. 

His relationship with his second wife was ruined over him refusing to shut down the control core, and in an ECHO log it’s stated she disappeared shortly after telling Jack to shut down the control core. 

3) Identity disturbance, such as a significant and persistent unstable self-image or sense of self

Jack is a meglomaniac who sees himself as the hero and as a god, but, in BL2 he brings this up: 

"I know you think I'm a monster. You think I enslaved Angel. But you didn't see what she did to her mother. I had to restrain Angel's power. You get that? I had to."

He brings this up to the vault hunter. Why? What does he care what the vault hunter thinks of him? Jack sure as hell hasn’t cared at all about “bandits” opinions of him. And he really isn’t shy about blaming other people for something, come on, this is the same man who says he shot a baby because THE BABY was being a dick. 

Jack doesn’t blame Angel for betraying him. As he said in TFTBL, she had no choice. He also doesn’t say that vault hunters killed her. He says that she killed herself.

This is Jack being hit with the realization that his daughter is dead, and that he drove her to it. He’s the monster who enslaved Angel, but he says he had to do it (I’ll go deeper into this in a different essay). He had to to restrain her power, he had to, as if he didn’t have a choice. There is guilt behind these words. 

To compare, in Tomb Raider 2013 there was extra dialogue (that for some reason was not in the final version of the game) after Lara has her first kill, she tells herself “I had to do it. I had to do it.” That’s how Lara rationalizes taking a life. If she had not killed that man, he would have killed her, so she “had to.”

I believe its the same with Jack. There is guilt there. Why would he feel the need to defend his actions to the vault hunters? To the “bandits?” He saw Angel ask the vault hunters to end her life, he saw her call them friend, her last dying breath was needing to tell her father that he’s an asshole. Jack knows. He knows what he’s done. But he’s too mentally ill to accept it, or change it. If anything, that just drove him further into insanity. 

In TFTBL Jack also mentions that he knows where Rhys is coming from and imposter syndrome is normal, and to just strangle that voice in his head that says he’s not good enough. 

4) Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship

Hahahaha ooooooh yeaaaaah. 

Spending sprees: Butt Stallion

“My day? It's been pretty good. I just bought a pony made of diamonds, because I’m rich. So, you know. That’s cool.“

Unsafe sex: 

“If I’da just thrown stock options at the Vault Hunters instead of bullets, I’d be on a beach right now doing disturbingly graphic things with the local ladies.”

Drug abuse: 

He mashed up a mushroom and snorted it...a lot...

Primo hit of electri-drugs.

His chair also has contact activated Dopamine injectors. 

Jack drinks, a lot apparently, since he thought either sex or drinking would kill him. 

It really wouldn’t surprise me if Jack participated in orgies which he probably totally did.

5)  Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

Jack is...really unstable and I don’t think anyone will disagree.  

ECHO logs in BL2 depict Jack going from manic to a fit of rage both with Angel and Mr. Tassiter. As well as Mr. Moorin who he strangles for mentioning his wife. 

Or when he gets really excited...

6) Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the hole with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

After becoming CEO he became dictator of Pandora, then decided...hey why not conquer more planets? Why not basically become a god? That toppled on top of Jack’s drug use and sex life. He bought a diamond horse and named it Butt-stallion...

He also says that when he takes Rhys’ body he’s still gonna use it to eat food and bang a bunch of people. 

(A side note, Dameon Clarke while answering questions as Handsome Jack said that there’s a lot of smiling going on but he’s actually dead inside. I just wanted to add it here as a point of interest.)

Jack also tolerated Mr. Tassiter’s insults until Tassiter told Jack that he’s a pathetic nobody under his mask. This leads to Jack strangling him and keeping his goatee as a reminder of what happens to people when they’re a dick to Jack. 

7)Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time being angry at yourself.

I don’t feel I need to provide examples for this one. We’ve all seen Jack’s rage. He uh....really goes off and it is not easy to stop him. 

Now that we got Jack’s symptoms out of the way let’s move on to causes. 

Most mental health professionals believe that borderline personality disorder (BPD) is caused by a combination of inherited or internal biological factors and external environmental factors, such as traumatic experiences in childhood.

...

Hereditary predisposition. You may be at a higher risk if a close relative — your mother, father, brother or sister — has the same or a similar disorder.

Stressful childhood. Many people with the disorder report being sexually or physically abused or neglected during childhood. Some people have lost or were separated from a parent or close caregiver when they were young or had parents or caregivers with substance misuse or other mental health issues. Others have been exposed to hostile conflict and unstable family relationships.

Let’s start with Jack’s genetics. If you saw my last post about Jack, it was wondering if Jack’s grandmother was a bandit and/or psycho due to her buzz axe. It is very possible that Jack’s grandmother and mother also suffer with some mental illness. 

Onto the stressful childhood. Grandma’s buzz axe which was a disciplinary weapon she used on Jack, and in The Pre-Sequel, Jack is asked to describe his childhood which he says his mother abandoned him on his abusive grandmother who would smack him around. He also had a pet cat that his grandma drowned because he didn’t make his bed. He cites this as “the usual stuff” 

Jack has both genetics and environmental factors that can lead to someone having mental disorders. 

Jack’s drug use and drinking would aid in making his BPD symptoms much worse as well.

So...yeah, there’s my Jack analysis.