#‘when youre needed most’ is perhaps
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this bodes
#rwby v9 spoilers#i mean it’s a reversal. true.#people coming together#reaching out across national borders#humanity’s last stand and all#but it’s also. um.#there’s no visible threat#no grimm. vacuo isn’t under siege#you have this ragtag bunch of ships#arranged in a military formation#looking outward toward an external threat#that isn’t actually there#in a kingdom that barely survived a coup#like a few months to a year ago. lmao#‘when youre needed most’ is perhaps#more about vacuo’s internal dysfunction#than the distant threat of salem#Who Is Probably At Beacon
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?
Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard
Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is together™ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?
And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).
As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.
On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.
And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.
All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose
But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer
And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.
Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.
Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.
But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"
All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.
For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.
So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.
And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.
So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#i just be ramblin#flashoneonetwo interview#long post#In all honesty#I think what's most likely for them (best case at least) is a kind of future where they're more domestic partners who also go on adventures#than anything#Or basically...things are kind of as they are now they've just been growing closer still?#And without intervention or conflict in the form of moving on or adding other people to the mix that may replace the other's standing in#their lives any way‚ I can honestly see them never truly confessing or recognizing their relationship for what it is#But then again perhaps if the stars aligned and they borderline had a married with kids relationship and Sonic started joking about them#being together only to realize the truth™ then maybe a confession is in order?#Yeah.#On the bright side‚ even if they never confess‚ at least the two of them could be happy and also be happy and content being as they are as#best friends as long as they're by each other's sides and have each other's back forever#And with this as a possibility‚ even I would not be sad if there wasn't an outright confession#After all...who needs words when you're living your truest life without them?#Anywho#Thank you so much for the ask!#I must admit that I initially was gonna talk about different iterations of them and how a confession may go‚ but in the end I ended up#explaining my sort of collective sontails thoughts/the general interpretations I have of them#While it is my interpretation/opinion at the end of the day though it does touch my heart that you'd want to know😂😊#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything else‚ do always feel free to shoot#me another ask!!😊
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heyy this is more of a personal question but.. how does one squirt? im a virgin and only get off alone so im thinking maybe its a factor as to why i Cant squirt? makes me so jelly when people say how good it is lol </3
ask away!! questions like this should be normalized because if we want to have sex and explore it, we should be able to be knowledgeable about it too. I don’t think there’s a clear cut answer as to how someone squirts because every body is different but I’ll give some advice I think is helpful. answers under the cut :)
so first it’s really important to be comfortable. whether you do this by yourself or with another person, the most important thing is to be in the headspace to engage in sex. I feel like porn overemphasizes squirting and we can get into our own heads, so being relaxed is the most importantly factor when it comes to it.
you can definitely make yourself squirt and don’t have to lose your virginity in order to do it (if you don’t want to). I don’t think there’s a clear cut step-by-step instruction but these are some tips that I find really helpful:
• masturbate a lot. you don’t have to go overboard but when you feel like you need to get off, masturbate. the more comfortable you are touching yourself and getting to know your body, the easier it becomes to squirt because you know how you react to certain movements and where you like to be touched.
to be clear I don’t mean masturbate all day/everyday but if you have the time/space to do so, take advantage of it and know what makes you orgasm. pay attention to your body because you’re the only person who knows it best.
• this is a less glamorous aspect but pee before you masturbate/have sex. the feeling of squirting similar to needing to pee, and while it might not be the traditional sense of what you think pee looks/smells like, it can be, and squirt will likely constrain traces of urine. peeing before you engage in sex eliminates the fear that you’ll pee instead of squirt.
edit: I amended the bullet point above and for anybody who needs extra reassurance, this is a resource I find helpful (reviewed by a gynecologist).
• stimulate your clit and g spot (whether you use your fingers or a toy, be sure to give your erogenous zones some love). with your g spot, apply vigorous and repetitive pressure (again whether with your fingers or a toy) and flex your pelvis. it’ll probably feel weird at first but the more you do it, the more natural it’ll feel.
• relax. when you feel like you’re about to orgasm, take deep breaths and try not to clench around anything. you want your muscles to be relaxed instead of tight.
• don’t get too in your head about it either. sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. focusing too much on this might take the pleasure out of it so even if you don’t end up squirting, try to get out of your head and enjoy the experience.
I hope these helped! for as much as I do love to talk about sex (in the way I’m sure you’ve seen on my blog), I really do believe in normalizing asking certain questions and being open to learning.
#ask#thank you for asking!#so I say this in the least invasive way possible: perhaps you might need to change the way you get off by yourself#or incorporate other techniques when you masturbate#but the most important thing is to be relaxed and don’t get too in your head#anon
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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Me: *creates an OC*
Me: *heavily implies OC will meet a bad fate*
OC: *meets bad fate*
Me:
(Alternatively, I may have started it, but @katkastrofa enabled me and now I’m losing my mind)
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#first rule of interacting with Nia: don’t suggest a dark/whumpy/extremely angsty concept to them#they’ll take it and run a marathon with it and next thing you know their own ideas are making them cry#this is just what happens when I start developing an OC during a rough time in my life#happens every time. guess who came up with Summiya’s fall from grace after their college application fell through??#and since Summiya has a more or less completed storyline. it’s now someone else’s turn#namely Jia’s. also Sunat’s but. mostly Jia’s. Sunat is more angst than whump and I’m craving PAIN#I’ve been frothing at the mouth thinking about Jia all day#just.. imagine how terrified she must have been when she was brought before Jusamah. when he said that he’d make her talk one way or another#and if she doesn’t want to obey and confess willingly… something else can be arranged#how her fear got even worse when she was dragged into the palace dungeons. when she saw the whipping post#begging for mercy as she was stripped and tied. swearing on her life that she doesn’t know anything. that she’s innocent#rambling incoherently right up until the first hit lands. after that it’s just screams and sobs and barely audible ‘I don’t know’s#all the while she’s yelled at by a man three times her age who refuses to believe that she truly doesn’t know anything#and she doesn’t. all she did was point Aiza in a direction. she has no proof she even went in it#I don’t want to get to graphic here but let’s just say I read an article on whipping and it’s.. it’s bad#the aftermath is brutal and bloody and passing out from the pain would be a mercy#and afterwards… I do think someone is called to tend to her so she doesn’t bleed to death before they can get a confession out of her#and that person is kind. if a little detached emotionally. and likely her back could have been salvaged if the whipping didn’t repeat#but it did. because they need her to confess. maybe the excruciating pain of reopened wounds will get her to talk…#it doesn’t. she never says anything. and after a while they move on from torture to locking her up and starving her#maybe that’ll finally break her. perhaps she’s still whipped occasionally even afterwards but for the most part she’s just left alone-#in some dark cell and questioned occasionally. it lasts anywhere from weeks to months and yet she never gives out the one detail she knows#because Aiza’s safety depends on it and she knows Aiza’s punishment will be much worse than hers if she’s caught#but anyway. enough of the bloody horror show. instead think about what it must’ve been like for her parents#the town is alight with scandal following the disappearance of Lady Aiza. you know a bit about her since your daughter works for her#you don’t hear from your daughter for a while. eventually someone tells you that she’s been convicted of helping Lady Aiza run away#she’s been under interrogation since. no one’s seen her but rumour has it they’re torturing her. there’s little you can do as a poor family#you request an audience with Lord Jusamah. it takes a long time to to be granted but eventually you’re before him begging for your daughter#apparently she’s proven to be a useless waste of resources so she’s released to you. you barely recognise her. AND I REACHED TAG LIMIT FML
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#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers#literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live#so you may be subjected to some nonsense#that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings#the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass#the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that#the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check#im joking of course dont quote me on it#jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well.#'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me'#also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml#jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated#a character with many moving parts im sure#there were a few things i did not care for#namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion#i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense#i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on#all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family#so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me#which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean#i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest#uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him#andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck#two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other#the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier#but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited#uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably#pedestrian#not necessarily in a bad way#it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters
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My parents are not fiction readers at all but I will say that they made it a point to heavily populate my bookshelf with Newbery nominees and I think that’s the reason I gravitate towards lit fic when I want a comfort read. Newbery child to Booker adult pipeline
#I perhaps controversially think that being a volume lit fic reader is just as intellectually vapid as being a volume reader in genre#there’s a part of me that hungers for Literature and it’s not being satiated when I’m reading lit fic#sometimes it is—but rarely#mostly I’m being entertained#anyway another thing is I think it’s weird when people only read for one purpose#be it for entertainment or for mental development or to Seek Great Literature or to get off#don’t you guys like words and stories enough to parse all your human needs through them?#because I sure do#hm#obviously literary fiction has a completely different purpose to genre fiction#what I’m saying is as a READER#I find lit fic more entertaining than most genre—even if that’s not the purpose of lit fic and it is the purpose of genre#maybe that’s what’s pretentious#but I think the rule is you can be a little pretentious if that’s the real you#:)#anyway everything is still subject to market rules#so how different can it all be?
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...
#jesus christ. i love a tragedy. fucking love a tragedy. love media#where characters stare into the face of god and are consumed with wonder as they die#the world is so fucking beautiful it burns through them and leaves nothing but ash#alex garland i am in your walls. i mean. he didnt direct sunshine but i think he cowrote the screenplay#i too wish to b cast off into the sun#my homones r perhaps returning to normal so mayhaps i am returning to my typical state of hysteria rather than depression lol#well see what tomorrow brings. im just saying that all my favorite media involves the most exquisite tragedy#i want to see destruction and i want to kno there is beauty there. i spend Nearly all my time at thr bottom of a well#but sometimes the sky clears and i can see the stars#but this is not helpful when i need to get things done lol#unrelated
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I keep remembering that back in the congregation I most recently attended, there is an elder’s wife who is a rockhound for the scientific and aesthetic intrigue, but also believes in crystal healing… which, all things considered, is absolutely fucking bonkers.
#exjw#”I don’t believe in any of the spiritistic stuff but when I rubbed sodalite on my palm when I had a cold it took my sore throat away…#So I looked it up and I guess sodalite helps the throat… so I think crystal healing works on a physical level.”#My sister in christ… that is… that is literally one of the most spiritistic things you could possibly say without getting disfellowshipped#FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA AND CERNUNNOS GET OUT OF THIS CULT AND BE THE TREE HUGGING HIPPIE YOU TRULY ARE#BE FREE#For the record I have no opinion on crystal healing and genuinely do not care if you believe in it#so long as you are also primarily doing tangible things to help yourself and not damaging your health because you only use crystals#I believe that one psychiatric doctor from Michigan who founded an asylum and said that beauty can aid the healing process#and if you surround yourself with beauty and good things; you are creating an environment conducive to healing#I also am more inclined to believe in reflexology so perhaps she was rubbing the specific area of the hand which affects the throat?#And crystals and gemstones can be heavy so holding them in your hand can stimulate your need for deep pressure if you are a sensory seeker#Or if you’re stressed they can be soothing to look at; and reducing stress is good for your physical health#So… technically… crystals can help PROMOTE health under very specific conditions#but idk about anything else#Maybe they do something spiritually?#But I don’t think crystal healing is necessarily all spiritual or all placebo#I think it’s just natural for humans to soothe themselves with rocks#It’s our inner monkey brain coming out and that’s a good thing#Society is too technical these days. Return to monke
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i honestly do not know how other people put up with being constantly bugged about updates regarding their 100% free long-term fandom projects. i'd personally be quite irked and would have to hold myself back from being too mean. y'all are stronger than me i'd be brandishing a knife.
if it's my fandom art or writing made for free and someone's curious about when X thing will be out or updated, my response is gonna be "it will be posted when it will be posted, bug off."
#maybe this is my grumpy side showing but like. c'mon#it's free fandom stuff i'm not scheduling that shit are you insane#i'll work on it and have it out when the mood strikes me#i mean doesn't adult life already circle around enough schedules and deadlines?#now if you slid an Andrew Jackson my way then hmmm yes perhaps...#if it was monetized like via Patreon subscribers or something that'd be one thing#or if it was original work that was a passion project and needs a schedule for readership/viewership reasons#but you want me to schedule my completely free fandom thing i do in my downtime?#a thing that i can't even truly call my own intellectual property and is only derivative work?#just for the entertainment of strangers on the internet?#you lost me#i love making fandom stuff so much but the suggestion that someone should make/update their free fandom work Just For You#or that they should otherwise work on and schedule it just for your pleasure#is one of the most obnoxious forms of online fandom entitlement ever#leave people alone about their fandom projects and just appreciate what's there 2k24#sky sez
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just had the horrifying realisation that i might be a gold jewelery person rather than a silver jewelery person . . .
#no because i know technically i shouldve made the realisation a long time ago#because i do have a warm undertone and most indian / brown girlies look absolutely fantastic in gold#like i was raised with pure 24 karat gold around me everywhere#why did i fall to the standards of western society#i always used silver jewelery as a way to rebel against the stereotypes#to show that i was different#because i didnt want to be stereotyped with all the other one billion people of my country#and i used silver jewelery and other alternatives to distance myself away from them#because i didnt live there anymore#and havent for a long time#i so desperately wanted to be different from the one billion other people who live there#and it can be especially hard when your parents compare you to others your age who can flaunt gold easily#so i seeked comfort in silver jewelery and other alternatives#almost as a way to rebel from my parents and the stereotypes foreigners place on my country#its funny how those people who once liked silver now look at gold with envy#while theres me doing the opposite#i found comfort in silver because it helped me figure out who i am#but if silver is my present then gold was my past#and ive been trying so hard to bury gold down#tarnishing the once shiny metal with my words and thoughts#slowly ive been realising that perhaps this isnt the correct way#maybe its as simple as putting on some fake-gold earrings and realising i look better in them#maybe it was just that short moment of thought#but i think that its been brewing in my brain for a long time but i never wanted to let it come to light#because im so afraid of conforming to those negative stereotypes they have of me#but im proud that lately ive been trying to come to peace with my heritage and my past#silver jewelery gave me the space i needed to explore who i am and discover my own identity#but it can never be completely who i am because i was born in gold#ive been trying to come at peace with my heritage and my identity#and i dont think im there yet
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“Fanon enjoyers don't like canon, they only like watered-down, bastardized, and
Woobified characters and headcanons that are safer and sanitized” - some comment I read
#fanon#pro fanon#pro fandom#anti canon#even#or more like ‘canon is already perfect for you so what are you even doing here’#go enjoy your tough characters nothing bad ever happens to#or when it does it is never addressed and/or nobody helps them/is brushed off by the narrative because obviously plot needs to happen#go enjoy your cast of characters that all hate each other#also ‘safer’ and ‘sanitized’ to describe fanon#lol#lmao even#As if most canons weren't safer and more sanitized than the fanon and their weird and gritty headcanons#like if a dad is mean in canon he is overall abusive in fanon#that is a fanon law#Draco in leather pants is a thing#Bo Hoo you were traumatized by Draco in leather pants and now you don't like fanon#go back to canon or write or commission your own canon-based fics then#like go enjoy your stoic character they just bore me#perhaps the reason there is so much woobification is that most canon characters are stoic and fan on fill the gaps of what is missing?#for some to find the characters appealing?#appealing and relatable?#have you thought of that?#also ‘watered down’ just means with more feelings or more relatable for female audiences admit it#or more archetypal because the full characterization is often hard for amateur writers and that doesn't necessarily mean they are#‘watering down’ characters on purpose#anyway the point of my rant in the tags is that fanon is supply and demand#it gives fans what they WANT in the story or characters even if it is OOC but is MISSING from the canon#otherwise it wouldn't be needed duh#anti canon purists
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our local movie theater is doing a special anniversary showing of my fair lady this weekend and i am so tempted let me tell you
#this has been a useless text post you may now resume your normal programming#is it ridiculous to spend money to see a movie in theaters#when i have it on dvd and can recite most of it from memory?#perhaps. but consider: the flowers would look so pretty on a big screen#and i don't need subtitles for a movie i know all the words to lol
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I am Aware of how. rambly n incomprehensible I am when I respond to asks but you See tha thing is. I am Not a content creator I am Just a little guy !!
If you ask me “oh what do you think of x” my answer usually will be like. things you have reminded me of and Maybe I will cleanly connect that To x but maybe it will seem unrelated !! and Also sometimes what I think of x is. not much !!
newayz um. yea like I Like to talk to you and I like to answer asks but I don’t want you to think of me as. a content creator I guess
#this part I will hide in the tags because. it Is important and I Do think I need to say it. but I don’t want to come off as Accusatory#I am Not mad. but. pleeease please try not to make extremely similar specific requests to me and other people I interact with often#when I see. this. it makes me feel just Slightly as if perhaps you are asking because you want to see a million of whatever your request is#rather than you want to share an idea with me and see My interpretation#it just feels less. special and less Personal I guess#but again I am not Mad and I don’t want you to be upset if you think you May have done something Like this. it’s okay 🤍 I get it#and also. I don’t Think this is something you should worry about with Most people it just might upset Me personally a little bit
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harrison braindump on main but i'm revising the BB ch. 2 bathroom scene between him and suz for a class and something my prof mentioned to me in office hours has TOTALLY skewed the way I see that scene (in a great way).
they mentioned (more or less) that suz is entering this scene with an understanding that her son is humiliating her, which I think is so fascinating. they had pointed out this image of pool water being tracked alllll through a rich person's house (messing with the hardwood, staining the carpets, etc) and how that's such a... defeating moment for suz as a mother.
this was kind of a brainwave for me because a) I'd never thought of that even though duh (I mean... imagine your disaster 21-year-old child breaks into someone's house and floats in their pool fully-clothed and then is caught by the owners who pity him and call YOU instead of the police) and b) it's such an interesting reveal of a theme I hadn't even considered in BODY BACK--humiliation--and what it means to be humiliated and also humiliate someone else.
this whoooole book is a giant humiliation! for suz, she's totally getting the fact that she's not been a great mother thrown into her face--which is hard for her to accept because she's trying now (the question for her becomes: is it too late?). for harrison, he's experienced soooo much humiliation in his relationship with lonan & of course in his relationship with suz when he was a child, and now he's projecting all of that back onto her.
this scene is such a pain to edit--I didn't even like it when I shared some excerpts in my update--but something about my prof basically saying, 'if she enters it with a sense he’s humiliating her, that’s strong fuel,' revealed something deeply complex about BB to me... what does it mean to experience humiliation when you've been humiliated so many times, and what does it mean to almost carnally desire to humiliate those who've also hurt you?
that question, I think, has driven harrison to where he is now (24-karat territory) where his entire persona atm is quite humiliating (also cool but mostly humiliating lol). he's almost... desperately accepting that humiliation in fear that if he doesn't, it'll make him VERY aware of his vulnerability.
which... this gets even more interesting when we remember that in feeding habits, humiliation is a big theme for LONAN, so much so that harrison even notices it in narrative.
and then also to remember this chapter is ALLL about mary & jesus as much as it is about suz & harrison... and THEN to remember that when young jesus terrifies the living shit out of his mother by staying back in jerusalem, the first thing he says to her when she asks him "why did you do this, you scared me" could be interpreted as humiliating (he basically goes "why were you even worried, didn't you just KNOW I'd be in my father's house??")... like damn HAHA
#anyway it was terrifying to have other people read this#especially because I already: didn't like it#but wow actually editing your writing can make it better when u didn't initially like it???#a CONCEPT#I wish I'd had more opportunities to talk through my work like this#as a pantser it's almost integral sometimes to have people tell YOU what they think your work is...#perhaps it's just me but most of the time??? intention is deeply subconscious#but having this scene explained to me?? i was like... wow I did something LMAO#need to do some more literary analysis on my writing tho actually i'm fantastic??? somehow??? HAHAHAHA#anyway harrison is so interesting i need to poke at him like he's the operation boardgame man
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