#‘this is my fault and if someones going to die for it is gonna be me’
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
ok hear me out: Given what I've already said, I feel like I have to at least submit a defense for why I still think Satoru is redeemable lol. First, I imagine reader already knew he was arrogant before they got together. And I can see a justification for his frustration and why he would lash out, he is under a lot of pressure, people do ask him to do a lot (gojo's daily schedule that gege shared?? crazy), and I'm sure he does feel like he can't take a break w/o someone needing him for something, which is annoying!! And yes he is the strongest and is capable, but that's a mindset thing and everyone has lashed out at someone that felt safe, because you assume they are not going to leave -- it's just unfortunate for him that his consequences ended up being so dire. I just also think those are the only kind of consequences that he would learn from. He doesn't ever really think anything is his fault, and if reader and students hadn't almost died, I don't think he would have really ever change his behavior, just continued on an "apologize for the behaviour instead of work on improvement" path. So obviously the consequences needed to be serious, however their jobs are dangerous and they could technically always die on a mission, so I would also argue that its sort of not.. that serious...? (DONT COME FOR ME PLS) I'm not eloquent enough to explain what I mean by that properly, so that's just gonna have to be enough.
I think that reader would absolutely need space bc who wouldn't?? I certainly wouldn't be able o look at him without resenting him for a while. But without other longstanding relationship issues, I can see a world where I would personally come to accept it? If Satoru expressed genuine remorse (and ideally took some time to think about what his issues are stemming from instead of taking it out on reader...), accepted that space was required, and showed he was more present/attentive with the people who actually rely on him, I would miss him!!! and probably would rationalize "well, technically I could always die". Now, those are a lot of hypotheticals and assumptions that we don't know, I just wanted to provide an example of how/why I think it could still work.
I truly think that depending on a persons priorities, a lot of things can be worked through/forgiven, but of course that is person to person and not everyone is going to feel or think the same way, no matter what the outcome may not be what everyone wants and that's just how it is no one's wrong for wanting one or the other.
omg I'm so sorry for the essay, this could all be completely irrelevant anyone, since you're gonna make what you're gonna make, I just felt like I needed to express its not completely delulu to forgive any of them. I'm just a happy ending kind of person at heart I fully and openly admit I am a sympathizer tho, so there are plenty who would read this and think that's not good enough to forgive lol
some parts of this post were a part of my thought process when writing pt four (and five tbh) 🩷
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i deserve to kill insurance companies actually.
#i've been fucking around with this for two weeks now and i want to die#why is it legal for an insurance provider i am paying to decline a medication that i've been on for years#why does a doctor have to fill out a special form to prove that i Really Need this medication. that's just what a prescription is for.#and also why is my doctor's office closed half the week and i can't get ahold of them and they don't call me back#i'm already rationing my meds like this is not sustainable#the real bullshit is that from what i can tell my provider won't even let me pay for it out of pocket. which i don't want to do but. still.#(it's a maintenance inhaler. i still have plenty of my rescue inhaler left so i'm not like. gonna die without it. but i will be very#uncomfortable and pissed off about it.)#part of this is my own fault because i knew switching insurance would cause some Bullshit when i try to get my meds refilled#so i should have started this earlier#but TWO WEEKS SHOULD BE ENOUGH#i just want to find out what i can do bc every day i call and they go “huh that's weird that it hasn't been approved yet. i'll look into it#and then they don't call me back#well uh. with med rationing i have enough to get me to Tuesday so i fucking hope someone actually figures out what's going on today#vent#personal
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
scheming abt the oaks again,,, not coherently though. something something parallels between norm & hero and lark & sparrow??
whatever norm did seems like some big potentially world changing event not dissimilar to lark releasing the doodler and i can only imagine the lark-esque guilt if (when?) he finds that out
and the relationships w the parents all the around the resentment that comes from both sets of kids
and to a probably lesser extent hero & sparrow being the seeemingly more responsible ones?? idk idk this is only half a thought im still reeling
#i just feel like theres something to be said about norm heading in a more lark direction#norm is becoming more of a loose canon and maybe im projecting but#i think thatll include a disregard for his life#i cld see a repeat of lark in front of the throne of the doodler#‘this is my fault and if someones going to die for it is gonna be me’#hes getting to that point is what im thinking#dndads#dungeons and daddies#normal oak#lark oak#sparrow oak#hero oak#the doodler
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#it kind of feels like im falling behind my peers#it feels like all of them are in a relationship or just got out of a relationship or might be in a relationship soon#and theres just me sitting here like yeah i like this guy#im never gonna have the courage to do anything about it#because why would i bother when i know im going to get rejected#i just wish i could die sometimes#i know this is something so trivial to be this worked up over#but im just so sick of it all#sometimes i wonder if im just unlovable#im just#idk#i just want someone to love me and i want to stop feeling like im falling behind and don't belong#but since that obviously wont happen ill settle for dying#seems like the best course of action to me#dont mind me yall#just a load of garbage#btw irls this is not your fault just making sure u know#cos i know some of you would blame yourself
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water#my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort#bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle#the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum#isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year#program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to#get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying#as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol#hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of#sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess#but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it#hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not#causing it. ugh symptom management i guess#unrelated
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've spent too much time on the verge of suicide to be here today
#suicide tw#that's genuinely embarrassing#why haven't I done it yet. what am I staying here for#the truth is that I am a hopeful person deep inside and I want a decent future#I don't want to die in misery without ever knowing anything different#but the realistic part of me knows that I will never live a peaceful life#my hope is built on the fact that much of my misery stems from my environment and therefore I think that leaving will make me happy#and there is so much truth to that. I would be happier in different circumstances#but that doesn't change the lifetime of abuse and social isolation that has fundamentally damaged me as a person#I will carry the past with me wherever I go and it's impossible for me to escape#I will never be someone that was equipped to function in society and that is no fault of mine but I alone carry the burden#which really upsets me. why is my life ruined over someone else's choices? it's so easy to destroy someone#and so I know I will never truly change#I've had an ed for over 5 years I've been casually suicidal for like 10 years. also this happened during important formative years#I'm never gonna be mentally healthy. why do I keep holding on to the future#I wanna do something drastic#I wanna cut people out of my life. like past friends that are somewhat current#I'm easy to take advantage of bc I'm so lonely and desperate for a friend#and I wanna stop talking to the people that don't value me bc I know they don't care and it makes me sad all the time#but the problem is that I am desperate for a friend. and I don't wanna lose anyone even if they are shitty#unfortunately I still love them even if they don't care about me#that's so pathetic tbh but I can't help it. I love everyone#Sera
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
currently failing to cope with the fact that none of my friends feel like My Friend
#whimsy whispers#mainly due to the fact that the longest friendship I’ve had is falling apart and there’s nothing I can do about it and it’s made me even#more aware of the fact that I’m no one’s friend#and then my response is to be overbearing and shove my insecurities down people’s throats and in the process make them less likely to want#to remain friends with me#I’m very good at making me tired of me and pushing people away it’s a gift of mine#it just sucks so much and it feels so lonely and bad all the time#I just want to be someone who’s happy and loved and feels wanted but I just don’t think that’s going to ever happen especially given that#my best friend doesn’t seem like they want me in their life anymore and I just don’t know what to do idk if there’s anything I can do#I wonder if that’s my fault as well like all my other failing friendships have been my fault so this one must be too right?#I’m just so tired and I told myself that lowering ky expectations when it comes to happiness mt my future and relationships would be better#than being hopeful and getting hurt but it still hurts#it’s jsut that if I don’t have expectations I can be upset alone without making it anyone else’s problem whereas if I have hope and then get#hurt I always make it other peoples problems which only makes things worse#I don’t feel like I’m ever going to actually be happy and as long as I’m like this no one is going to want me or love me and I don’t blame#them I’m irritating and annoying when I’m like this but I’m always like this and like who would want someone like that in their lives#I’m so deeply insecure and fuckijg awful and I just hate myself so much#happy March I was suppose to be working on doing better while taking a break from things but despite that I’m doing worse#how do I expect people to want me when I’m like this? I’m so stupid#it’s just gonna be like this until I finally die#also note that people not feeling like my friend isn’t their fault#it’s not other peoples fault that I’m like this and I don’t want people to feel like they’re at fault for something they didn’t do
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
Ignore
#delete later#every week is the same as the last. i need it to change. please#and not in a worse way again. i need it to change for the positive. please.#im going to be in my hometown in a week. i dont want to. but i need to. i dont wantttt to. i wont have a living situation sorted and#they're going to be weird about it and i don't have the ability to field that stuff positively bc all my positive thinking is going into#not having a breakdown so its gonna fucking suck. and im sngry and feel guilty im not moving closer but i caaaaaant without#things getting way worse mentally but i feel terrible about it bc i feel like i dont have an excuse for living so far away now#even though i dont NEED an excuse but i wish i had one. and im not allowed to die which is fucking annoying but its still working#as a coping mechanism so thats fine. im also. really upset that the insect thing ive been looking forward to for months i cant do.#it feels like a real kick in the face for wanting something. it was like my one thing to be excited for when everything felt#like it was falling apart abd then things fell nore apart and instead of insect joy im going to visit family and bask in that pool of grief#so. that's great. its just shit. and the only emotion i currently have access to is frustration and a bit of grief so thats also#not ideal. and im both dissociating so much and am painfully present which is a fun combo. shit just sucks abd theres no way out#currently. so i gotta go through it but im bad at that so im just miserable. might try to figure out a way to get the weoghted blanket#to hometown bc going without it is going to fuckinh suvk big time#i also need to have a hard conversation with someone who is way more into me than im into them rn. idk whether its bc i cant#access emotions rn or a genuine thing so im gonna have to communicate this bc otherwise it feels like im leading her on abd thats#shit. see thats one thing that is solidly in my court. like thats a my fault thing. everything else is just a shit situation#god life sucks sometimes. my mum always said things come in threes. i think im up to like thing five at this point
0 notes
Text
starting to suspect that i am not very good at engaging in open/honest/non judgmental conversations on the internet actually
#teeth.txt#i try to be a lot of the time like#idk#but sometimes i do look back on like my opening lines and i'm like oh that was way more judgmental and coming from my own biases#than i originally thought/meant it to be#oops.#i think i need to actually ban myself from saying anything in any comment section ever#my communication style is not meant for it. even though i feel like it is and i'm explaining myself reasonably#it always seems to put people on the defensive#mostly because the types of interactions im talking about are like#contradicting the original statement that op made or whatever#so inherently that's gonna throw up defenses#but i don't think i'm actually ever helping with that and#perhaps i should actually just crawl into a cave and never speak to anyone ever again. maybe.#and i always make myself look like an idiot too. idk. internet comments are where productive conversations go to die#but also it's my fault and nobody else has ever had this issue ever#anyways turns out you actually can't just explain yourself betterer and betterer and make everyone understand what you're saying#or understand what everyone else is saying and where they're coming from#idk i just feel like out of the 3? ish internet 'arguments' i've gotten into in recent memory#all of them have ended with me a) getting stressed out by them and b) eventually disengaging completely#with no resolution and both sides just knuckling down in their beliefs#not good.#whatever i'll just try to get better at this in real life where it actually matters and i can better tell if someone is engaging#in good faith/an honest desire to have a conversation#ughhhhhh#also sorry everyone u get me talking on this app here way more because i can't talk to my bf rn. lol
1 note
·
View note
Text
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
If you are disabled and you need to lie to get the accommodations you need or to escape ableist social harassment, then it is not just morally acceptable to lie in that scenario, it is morally GOOD.
I say this with no irony or satire whatsoever (unlike the original post, which is very much meant to be sarcastic).
Abled people are always trying to be the "hero" who finds the "fakers," as though "fakers" are actually a concern for disabled people. - When instead I don't know a single disabled person who hasn't been denied the care they need by being called a faker on multiple occasions. That's what we ACTUALLY live in fear of.
(Also, notably, finding the "faker" is not actually about protecting disabled people for these self-appointed "heroes". It's actually about finding an ego-boosting outlet for personal aggression and frustration. They don't care that the government has the funding to care for all of us and yet refuses. They just want to pretend this isn't about them, and are using other disabled people as a moral shield.)
Besides, every person I've met who is actually LYING about their disability has done so not because they are faking being disabled (for all the AWESOME benefits that DEFINITELY exist - ????), but because their ACTUAL disability is not taken seriously by the gatekeepers who can deny them the help they need.
Lying in this scenario protects a disabled person from stigma, injury, pain, death, and/or social neglect. This is a moral good. Lying to protect people from abuse is good, yourself included.
You shouldn't get a wheelchair, walker, cane, shower chair, or any kind of assistive technology mobility aid because then you might become dependent on them. Just like how you also shouldn't get glasses if you have bad eyesight because then you might become dependent on those.
For instance, if you end up stuck using corrective eyewear, you could actually lose your ability to tell what things are even when they are extremely blurry! You need to get used to having migraines from seeing unclearly because if you wear glasses all the time, you are basically giving up!! You don't need to see things coming at you from far away! You just need to get good at dodging, and if you can't, then you have no one to blame but yourself!!
For example, I read a really heart-worming article recently about a girl who was stuck using glasses - just absolutely, tragically trapped in her eyewear from dawn to dusk, even though she was good and never ever complained; and I heard she trained herself to discern the blurry faces of her loved ones with 60% accuracy! - she was even able to walk down the aisle at her wedding WITHOUT forcing the discomfort of seeing a woman in glasses on all her guests!!
Sure, she had to give her vows with a splitting headache, and she couldn't see her husband's expression when he said "I do," but overall, SO inspi-ration-al!!! So up-lifting!!
(She didn't even have to use a seeing eye cane, which would have been the worst-case scenario, obviously, because she worked hard to make sure she looked LESS disabled, not MORE disabled!!! Everyone knows blind people exist solely to be a cautionary tale to sighted people!!)
Also, did you know some people get glasses when they only need them a little bit?? How selfish of them! Sure, there's not a shortage, and an increase in demand would result in overall increased accessibility to glasses--but emotionally it's like taking glasses away from someone who needs them more! After all, if everyone who needed glasses got them, then...... um...... more people would have glasses! Which is probably bad!!!!
I also had a friend who was trapped in glasses who saved up all her money for laser eye surgery, and I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Sure, some doctors say some people don't "qualify" and it "won't help" those people, but that's why you can't give up!! You don't want to be one of those people!
After all, what's the worse thing that could happen with an unnecessary laser surgery to the face that comes with crippling debt??? It's worth the risk to gain your FREEDOM back, and I'm so proud of my friend!!
Tragically, she did die later that year while driving Uber and squinting at street signs, but at least now I know my friend is finally free from the shackles of her terrible eyesight. #ripAshley #rippedAshley #justripit 😌😌😌❤😇😇😇
And that's why you shouldn't get used to using a mobility aid!! Because, like glasses, they are inherently embarrassing to be seen with; and - like glasses - it is more noble to silently suffer than to depend on unnatural technologies that force you to rely on them!!! (Besides, everyone else will be SO much more comfortable if you look normal!)
I hope you learned something today. 💖
#original#disability#ref#might just make a separate post about this but here you go#autistic meltdowns can cause me serious nerve damage and trauma and if i have enough of them in close enough succession... death#but people don't understand that. they think it is a child's tantrum most of the time.#so i call them seizures. because functionally that's what they are. and as long as i can communicate well enough to make sure#no dumbass tries to shove a wallet in my mouth - which DOES NOT HELP SEIZURES in any case btw - then i say it's a seizure#people are nicer and more helpful and more accommodating all around. saying 'if this happens i can have a meltdown'#involves a huge amount of risk and effort for them to understand. but 'i could have a seizure' - suddenly they DO have accommodation for me#fancy that!!#if your professor is gonna be a judgy ableist bitch about you missing class from a ptsd episode (or if you don't know how they'll react)#then tell them you have the flu. no questions get asked. they don't want the flu. they'll tell YOU to stay home!#and if they are ableist then they won't secretly think you're crazy or being dramatic and weak!#I used to feel really bad about the fact that I would do that. but now I recognize that it was really smart actually and in fact good.#if someone said i can't treat your broken leg unless you also have gastrointestinal distress#then baby you better tell them you got a stomach ache#if you can only walk 20 feet but you are denied a wheelchair if you can walk more than 15 feet... no you can't.#if the fire department won't believe your house is on fire unless you say you can smell the fires of Mount Doom specifically then#by god you are Frodo with the One Ring. whatever it takes not to die in this fire.#and you don't have to feel guilty about it either. you're not the one withholding firefighting services from people with burning houses#they have enough time and money to put out all the fires in the town. they just don't want to. that's not your fault.#if the fire dept told you they'll only put out the fire in your house if it is an electrical fire then don't tell them about the grease fir#like in an ideal world we would all be totally honest all the time but in this world if your disease doesn't have the right code in#Aetna's system then they'll leave you to die idk what to tell you.#protect yourselves. protect each other. break rules. be punk.#cripplepunk#for legal reasons i am clarifying that i have never lied to an insurance company.
704 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gojo Satoru & Geto Suguru
♡ TW: fear, prank, prank gone too far, dubcon-ish
♡ GN reader
“Haha, ‘Toru—nice try,” is all you say to the tall figure, having stood patiently in wait and perfectly positioned to do a jump scare with his silly store-bought Ghostface mask on.
You sigh and go back to your dealings, and he remains as if the gist isn’t up—ever-committed to the task as if you’re suddenly going to forget that it’s him. Like—of course, it’s him! Despite what the movies will have you believe, not a lot of guys have bodies like that.
If he was really committed to tricking you, he should have worn something baggier to hide his perfectly shredded chest. But no—he’s set on wearing his black muscle shirt—probably opting to make you both scared and horny at the same time.
You carry on with what you’d been doing—cleaning up the kitchen. “Oi, quit standing there already and come help me.”
He doesn’t. But that’s not unlike him—he’ll take any excuse not to do the dishes. And right now, the excuse is this dumb prank. But it’s your fault in any case—you’re the one that put him up to it by saying he’d never be able to get a rise out of you.
You sigh and scold yourself for being so short-sighted—should’ve kept my dumb mouth shut. Knowing him, he’s probably going to be this way all through October, the insufferable prick.
He still stands there. Silent. And still. Eerily unlike him. And almost, just almost, utterly unlike him.
But no—don’t be stupid! He’s the same height and the same build, for fuck’s sake! What are the odds of someone with the exact same measurements as your boyfriend breaking in right at the time he isn’t around in something so cliche and dumb as a Ghostface replica? No, it stinks of Satoru—it’s got his goofy antics written all over it.
You scoff again—a little winded this time, a little strained. You have to hand it to him—he is a little scary when he shuts up for this long.
“You can knock it off, Satoru. I know it’s you.” You face him again, hand on your hip, with a frown.
You sigh again when he still doesn’t answer, insisting on his stupid tactic of psyching you out. And you’re getting pissed that it’s actually almost working.
“Ugh, you’re so stupid.” You start stomping over—aiming to rip that dumb thing off his head and point your death glare directly in his insufferable blue eyes—those insufferable blue eyes you’re actually starting to hope are under there more than knowing without a doubt are there for sure.
“Tch—it’s insulting if you think some half-assed performance like this is gonna be enough to scare me. At least have the creativity to come up with something somewhat decent–”
You stop in your tracks halfway over. Hair is peaking out from under the mask. You hadn’t seen it from afar, matted against the black shirt he was wearing—but how could you? How could you when it’s not white hair?
You flinch backward. Stumbling. Assessing the dark, silken locks a second time before looking up at the mask again—that soulless white warped skull with pitch-black bottomless eyesockets.
You take another step back. Breath hitching in your throat when the figure takes a step as well—toward you.
Your heart flares. It’s not Satoru.
Eyes peeled, you feel the panic overthrow you in an instant—like a cold rush, reaching all the way into your bonemarrow, making it hard to move, hard to do much of anything without feeling vulnerable to what it might trigger.
But once the figure pulls his hand out from behind his back, brandishing a butcher’s knife that catches the light and glints in the air—you have no other choice but to run.
What a perfect fucking day to wear fuzzy fucking socks! Fucking October cold is going to be the reason you die—stabbed to death in your own house by some cringey Scream fanboy. No—this can’t be the end—not this way! Why isn’t Satoru home yet? Why can’t he ever be where you need him to be?
You make your way through the house—hoping to reach the door, but turning the corner has you slip and fall, and the intruder’s on you—knife raised, poised prettily in the air above your helpless body, clad in your tiny heart-print pj’s—like the perfect hot airhead in any slasher spoof.
You scream and squeeze your eyes shut, “No! No—please! Please! Satoru, help!”
And right as the knife is supposed to come down and puncture your chest, making it spurt out red until you finally bleed out, dead and gone, there’s a bang instead as two palms land flat on the floor on either side of your head.
Joined by a muffled voice, “Are yah scared yet?”
With your eyes wide open again, you look up at not one mask blocking out the ceiling light but two. And with all the pure alarm savaging your chest, you manage to let out a real horror-movie squeal—unlike a sound you’ve ever made before.
And then, of all things, there’s laughter—no, not laughter—straight cackling.
And—fortunately or unfortunately—you’re quite sure you recognize that sound.
The last one pulls off his mask, and you really can’t believe it—pretty porcelain face squished in amusement with tears of joy in the corner of his insufferable blue eyes.
That fucking bitch.
“You should have seen your face!” he chortles—downright heaves. But for all his handsome features, he truly must be the ugliest laugher there is. Or maybe it’s just that the bastard always laughs at your expense, and after one too many times, it’s left a bad taste in your mouth.
Still, you sigh, eyes closed in relief, “I hate you, ‘Toru. You took it way too far, you ass.”
“No, no, Satoru, help~” he ignores you and mocks in a high-pitched moan, showing not a sign of remorse—holding his hand over his stomach as he falls to the floor, struggling to leave room for breath between hooting and howling.
Your eyes go to the original perpetrator. “And you? You proud or what?”
The wearer pulls off its mask and is revealed to be none other than Satoru’s best friend—Geto.
Honestly, you should have fucking known...
“Sorry, hehe…”
You’re upset—you make that clear with your pout, giving him your best guilt-tripping look from where you rest beneath him.
But still, within, your heart eases at the sight of his kind face and that apologetic smile across it—ever thankful to see him and not the cold-blooded murderer you were convinced was going to kill you only a moment ago—even when pinned beneath him in a position that should be making Satoru jealous.
But your boyfriend couldn’t care less, it seems—too busy rolling on the floor and laughing out loud quite literally, even banging his fist against the wood. Prick.
“I’m gonna throw up–” you say as the nerves finally settle. “And when I’m done, I’m gonna kill you. Both of you.”
Geto seems to think that’s fair, still with that sheepish smile on his face, but Satoru is quick to interject—laughing fit over as he shakes his head, “Nuh-uh. You said if I manage to scare you once this Halloween, I’d get whatever I want.”
You swear he can be such a child sometimes.
Oh, who are you kidding? He’s always a child. It’s only surprising he’s managed to rope Geto into all this—a guy who’s usually so mature.
“I don’t remember saying that…” you sigh, laying the back of your hand atop your forehead, still calming your breaths and the pounding in your head—your body not yet caught up to the fact that it’s trepidation over impending death was all just some silly joke played on you by two idiots.
You can’t believe him—you can’t believe either of them.
“Fucking shit, Geto—I thought I was gonna die.”
He still hasn’t gotten off you—the look of worry on his face tells you he’s probably just wanting to stay close to make you feel safe. You appreciate it, though it’s a little awkward lying beneath him like this—it’s not exactly a position you share with just anyone…
“Honestly, I didn’t think it would work,” he says—eyes slim like always, in that charming way. “I always thought you were smarter than to fall for something this stupid.”
You pull a frown at that—taking it all back. He’s as childish and dumb as Satoru is. He’s just better at hiding it.
“Oh, shut up—as if you wouldn’t scream if someone chased you down with a knife,” you grumble. “Now get off, you prick.”
You begin to lift yourself onto your elbows, yet despite the clear intention of getting up, Geto doesn’t budge to make it happen.
No, instead, he leans further in—fine-kempt raven hair slipping off his shoulders, falling with the same grace as a veil.
“I was told there’d be a prize for the one that got you to crack, and seeing as I’m the one that made that happen—I want it.”
You have to blink—blanched at the sudden demand.
Satoru, as well, a little stunned—looking wide-eyed at the two of you, upside down where he lies flat on his back, long limbs stretched out like a starfish.
“You what now?” both of you ask in unison.
Geto chuckles before repeating, “My prize. I want it. It’s only fair,” as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Satoru rolls over on his stomach to view you both the right way, pursing his lips in thought. “Hmm…” Hand on his chin as if it’s really something to deliberate when the dumbass very well knows what the two of you had bet on and how it very much isn’t a reward you can give to just anyone.
Yet, despite that. “Okay,” he agrees—as if it’s even up to him.
“Hold on now, wait a minute.” You intervene in the almost business-esque dealing they’d somehow held without you. "Not happening.”
“Why not?” they both ask, looking at you.
And you can’t keep from gaping. The nerve.
Spluttering as you explain, “Because it’s—well, because it was a bet between me and my dumbass boyfriend, and it was very clear what the prize was gonna be, come winner or loser—so, sorry to break it to you, but there is no prize.”
But that doesn’t seem to deter Geto. “Oh, I think there is…” he all but purrs as he leans down further.
“Satoru already agreed. And you’re already on your back beneath me.”
His smile isn’t all so friendly anymore, and still… you can’t help but blush being caught beneath it, holding your breath with fear a little different from the one before but no different in how it makes your heart pound.
“So, if neither of you mind…" he grins slyly. "I think I’ll just take it.”
♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ GETO SUGURU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist
#yandere gojo#yandere gojo x reader#yandere jjk#yandere satoru gojo#yandere gojo satoru#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere#gojo smut#satoru smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru gojo smut#jujutsu gojo#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#satoru gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujustu kaisen#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x y/n#gojo#yandere geto#yandere geto suguru#yandere suguru#geto suguru#geto x reader#jjk geto#geto smut#suguru smut#jjk suguru
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
autism is the best disease bc i spent over an hour staring at nothing 20 in my car 40 in bed while crying bc my mom made herself a victim over me saying oh my god to the fact she blocked off my door with SEVERAL heavy items while i was at work and then got mad at me for saying oh my god in shock and we had a blow out fight again anyway autism is awesome cause you know what helped? sharing all the spider man facts i’m learning from this encyclopedia
#personal#disorder yes disease sounds funnier#no my moms cleaning for my brother coming home tomorrow#but i get home see stuff rearranged and im like oh okay and see lots of furniture moved so im bout to ask hey have you drank water/gatorade#bc my mom gets dehydrated bad bc she doesn’t fucking drink#and i like to check in before she’s screaming thinking she’s gonna die at 4 am due to extreme dehydration#anyway i’m walking up the hallway to my room then BAM. a cd case a bin full of stuff a door hanging storage thing#wooden boards like a bunch of shit literally blocking my door completely so i’m upset and im like mama why#bc she never thinks about the fact i live here when she does her little projects#like things blocking my door when i’m in the house or not or the hallway to get out also blocked all the times#how often i beg her to just please not leave her shoes in front of my door bc i keep tripping over them#or just using all the space in the bathroom. like why is there a lamp#blocking me from peeing#anyway all her projects usually fuck me so i’m like mom why#she’s like don’t start i’m so tired stop it and just#i don’t know the way she kept going like i’m screaming at her for something that’s not her fault#it made me upset and we got into a fight and i was like i get ur tired but ur tired from CLEANING UR OWN MESS!!!!#THE HOUSE IS 100% YOUR FAULT!!!! i’m tired bc i literally just got off work!!!!! i just came home to this#i sit in my car a while apologize but explain mom you need to let me have a reaction#like if you do something that effects someone else you need to let them have a reaction for a split second#and she was like hm. do you know i think ur scary and i have to walk on eggshells with you and you don’t respect me#i’m like okay cool does the state of the house give me much to respec#and more fighting till she’s like stop talking stop talking stop talkin i don’t want to talk to you#did i lay down in my car and think about how much better my family would be if i never existed in the first place yes yes it was nice#granted it’d be world without than oh wait no i am here and i can’t kill msyelf but even if i could it’s not the same as not existing in#the first place i just think a lot of things would have gone better if i wasn’t there#also i just want to stop feeling bad and can’t feel bad if you never existed#but this encyclopedia fuckssdd
0 notes
Text
12:29 AM
- your normally sober husband comes home drunk out of his mind after a party, and you can’t say that he’s any less sweet. (robert “bob” floyd x wife!reader, fluff, honestly one of the cutest things i’ve ever written, ⚠️ obviously heavy themes of alcohol and being drunk, sexual innuendos but nothing graphic)
word count: 1,502
a/n - i haven’t written a fic with a timestamp as the title in… (checks old blog) over three years?!? in any case, i hope you guys like drunk!bobby as much as i do <3 he’s definitely an emotional/clingy drunk imo.
It’s not often that your husband stays out late, and it’s not often that he doesn’t text you while he’s out, but you trust him. He’s not the type to get blackout drunk or come home stumbling through the doorframe. Robert Floyd is a clearheaded and strong man.
Well, he looks neither right now, as he’s supported by Jake and Javy’s arms, glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose and a dopey smile brightening his face. Jake looks at you apologetically— as apologetic as he can get for a situation that’s likely his fault. “Sorry, hun.” He huffs, shifting around Bob’s weight. “There were a few too many fruity drinks ordered, and I guess he didn’t realize they were full of alcohol.”
“You guess?” You ask, rubbing the space between your eyebrows with your fingers. The two more sober men lead Bob into your bedroom, half-dragging him. They lay him down on your shared bed with a softened thump that has him groaning on top of the sheets. “I can’t believe you guys.”
Bob went out with the rest of the squad for some coworker’s promotion celebration, and he promised to come home perfectly sober, as always. He doesn’t even need to promise, if you’re being honest, because that’s just how he is; the most levelheaded person in the room. He would stay until it was socially acceptable for an acquaintance to leave, then he would head home and help you cook dinner to your favorite old school tunes. You never expected to see him shitfaced at 12:29 AM.
Javy shakes his head as he steps around you, taking Jake for a clean escape. “We tried to warn him. I hope he feels better in the morning, but until then, we’re gonna have to leave him with you.”
You sigh, eyebrows just as pinched as they were before. For the first time ever, you’re scared that Bob is going to die in his sleep, and the thought frustrates you to no end. “Thanks. It’s so great that he’s drunk out of his mind, but I have to give you credit for getting him here in one piece.” Your tone is sarcastic enough to get the two men cringing in shame, but you also know that without them, he might still be at that party.
Jake pats you on the shoulder. “Good luck, soldier. You’ll need it.”
With that, Javy and Jake walk out of your bedroom, past your living room, and out of your house like they couldn’t wait to leave. As you hear them close the door, you look down at your husband.
He’s still conscious, thankfully. His eyes are slightly unfocused, he’s blushing like a madman, and he’s groaning lightly, but he’s not completely gone yet. You brush the damp hair away from his forehead and he whines just a bit.
“Wife.”
You quirk your eyebrow in confusion. “Yes?”
“I… have a wife. Y’ can’t touch me like that.” He mumbles. It feels like he’s looking past you. Despite everything, you feel like laughing.
You adjust his glasses on his face and lean over him a little more, fully in his field of vision. “I am your wife.”
His eyes widen like he’s seeing you for the first time, and he smiles crookedly. He tries to sit up, but only manages to prop himself up on one arm as he takes in the sight of your face. “S’ pretty. You’re really my wife? My girl?” In combination with the slurred words of someone down in the cups, the slight southern accent he took so much time to push away is coming back as he speaks to you.
“Yes.” You confirm, kissing him on the cheek. He somehow smiles even wider and reaches out to touch the apples of your cheeks.
“Love you. I missed you.” He mumbles. “Spent that whole party wonderin’ when I could see you again.” He flops back down onto the springy mattress, throwing his arms up. He moves with the precision of a toddler, his limbs seemingly coated in lead. He almost smacks the glasses off his face as he motions to you with grabby hands.
“I missed you too, honey. Can we get you into your pajamas? I’m sure you don’t want to sleep in jeans and a polo.” As you ask that question, his fingers are already attempting to pull the shirt off of his body. It doesn’t work very well, considering he’s still laying down, but you appreciate the effort. “Sit up, my love.”
He sits up, winking at you heavily. It’s more like a slow blink with how long it takes him to do it. “Can’t wait to get me naked?”
A laugh escapes your mouth, and you smother the rest of your giggles with the heel of your palm as you gaze at his slightly crestfallen face. He’s funny when drunk, apparently, even when he isn’t trying to be. It’s like seeing him completely unhinged with none of his usual, careful filters. “Sure. You need to be in some state of undress to get your pajamas on, anyways.”
His face falls into a slight pout as you help him unbutton the top of his polo and slide it up his chest. He seems to notice how your hands hesitate when meeting the warm, taut skin of his abs, and the pout fades instantly. “Like it?”
“I always do.” You hum. He does have a great body, one that you’ve found to be extraordinarily hot. Strong arms, tight muscles, and yet a gentleness in the way his hands hold yours. Right now, though, it’s a bit of a problem as you’re attempting to get his jeans off. He’s still sitting, and you think you could lift weights for ten years and not be able to pull them out from under him. “Can you stand, Bobby?”
“Gladly.” He sings. You help him stand, supporting a bit of his weight. He seems to find a little bit of his footing as his other arm presses into the wall, allowing the both of you to shimmy his pants down his legs and kick them to some unknown corner of the room.
You gather his neatly folded pajamas, a soft shirt and some plaid flannel pants, and help him put them on. Luckily for you, he’s been revitalized by your touch and is a little more helpful now. He’s still moving awkwardly and shifting around like he’s constantly trying to get his balance straightened out, but it’s better than nothing. It would be hell to get him to do anything other than dress, though, so you settle for just getting him in bed. His dental hygiene routine will have to wait.
You lay him back down after he’s dressed and pull the blankets up to his chin, kissing his forehead gently and tucking his glasses in your dresser drawer. You’re already ready for the night (the perks of thinking he would come home three hours ago), so you slip in bed next to him. He immediately pulls you into his arms, his body comfortingly warm. He’s always run just a little hot, which is amazing on cooler nights like this.
He sighs contentedly before moving to stare directly into your eyes. “Y’know,” he starts, “I can’t sleep without your arms ‘round me, and your legs ‘round me, and you breathing all sweet on my neck. ‘M up all night when I’m deployed, at first anyways. My carrier roommates hate it.”
You shift just enough as to where your body is clutching on to him as tight as possible, and he hums in relief. It’s like the little tension that he was holding dissipated entirely. “I’m sorry, baby. That must be hard.” You soothe.
“Payback gave me his pillow once so I could wrap it in my arms, but it didn’t help. He threatened to ‘come up there n’ cuddle me himself’ if I didn’t stop moving.” He scrunches his eyes closed at the memory. You do your best to suppress another bout of laughter, but he makes it even harder when he shivers like he isn’t covered in three layers of blankets and you.
“Did he ever follow through?” You ask, pressing your lips together to stop from smiling. Bob shakes his head.
“Thank god he didn’t.” He utters. You turn to shove your face into your pillow to muffle your expressions. He just keeps his eyes closed, completely unaware of the fact that you’re losing it next to him.
When you finally come up for air, he is drifting in and out of sleep. “Love ya. G’night.” He whispers. It’s so soft that you almost start laughing again.
“Good night, Bobby. Love you too.” You say, kissing his cheek. You click off the lamp on your bedside table and snuggle deeper into his grasp.
He’s going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. At least he’ll have his wife, breakfast in bed, and an aspirin to take care of him.
Taglist: @seitmai
#solar eclipse.#bob floyd x reader#robert bob floyd#top gun maverick x reader#top gun#bob floyd fluff#bob floyd fic#bob floyd#robert floyd x reader#robert floyd#top gun headcanons#top gun x reader#top gun fandom#top gun imagine#top gun fanfiction#top gun movie#top gun maverick#top gun bob
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Have you ever been so angry you can't sleep bc you're thinking about murder and revenge. This is worse than being too horny to sleep. Shaking and crying because how can I make him suffer without it tracing back to me. Things that are normal and regular
#like what if i still his identity or infectedhis computer with randomware#ransome#like like ill gove you youre computer back if you wure one million dollars to this bank account snd if you dont im going to wipe it#and im going to burn down your house#literally hope i never see him because it will be too hard to be normal#bu normal i mean anywhere between scaring him and killing him#like what if i drugged him with a fuckton of mushrooms and tied him to a chair and left him like that in the middle of the island#hed DEF have a mental break but would he piss himself#also would just really love to hang him upsidedown on the meat hooks in the attic and slit his throat like cattle. lol#have thought a lot about putting sugar in his gas tank but i think thst would be too easy#i want him to Get Scared#i also want him to compensate my family lol#been considering learming how to steal his identity bc apparently if someone steals your identity theres like fuck allyou can do abt it#they almost never find them#and like.... hes so fucking loaded i dont think hee notice for at LEAST 6 months#like lol going to help my parents manage after you fucking destabilize and de-home them with your money bc this is all your fault#now die by my hand#ummm anyway yeah im trying to purge my brain so i can sleep lol but im def gonna have to delete this later lol
1 note
·
View note