#‘listen I picked you. I didn’t pick the others. I picked /you/‘ and then they kiss

[runariya]

Crash Course in Love • 2

pairing: snowboard instructor!Jungkook x ex-gf!female reader (feat. platonic OT6) genre: rom-com, Exes 2 Lovers, slow-burn, angst rating: 18+, MDNI warnings: strong language, slow burn, angst, fluff, tension, bad communication skills, jealousy, alcohol, smoking, heartbreak, lmk if I forgot smth word count: 17.3k

a/n: 19 days later and here's part 2 at last! hope you like it still and I can't wait to see your reactions lol DON’T HATE ME! LOVE YOU ALL 💕 ENJOY

a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! 💕

01 • masterlist • 03

Day 2

There’s something about the way you crash after a day that’s drained you not just physically but emotionally too. After your bath and after you grabbed your luggage when you were sure Jungkook wouldn’t be in his room anymore, and with your stomach still full from the Korean BBQ at Tae’s, you passed out immediately. Yoongi’s snoring didn’t bother you in the slightest—if anything, the vibrations seemed to massage your sore body through the mattress.

You feel even more lost when you wake up just after 5:30 in the morning, fully rested but with muscles still stiff. You’re not sure if Tae’s smoothie did anything or if you’d feel completely dead now without it. It’s not that you want to go back to sleep either, knowing you’ll just wake up even more tired if you try, experience showing that extra hours do more harm than good. 

Not wanting to listen to Yoongi’s ongoing snoring any longer, you carefully slip out of bed without waking him and reach for the book you brought with you. But just as you’re about to head out of the suite, you stop, eyeing Yoongi’s coat. 

Should you?

You quit smoking months ago, only started when you broke things off with Jungkook, but just thinking about everything that was said yesterday—and what’s still to come—makes you struggle. You’ll probably hate yourself for it afterwards, but still, you go back to his coat and rummage for his cigarettes and lighter. 

Realising you only brought one pair of boots, which are currently at Hope’s, and there’s no way you’re stepping out into the snow in slippers or your snowboard boots, you grab Yoongi’s spare designer boots and your snowboard jacket as well. 

It’s impressive, really, that you manage to carry everything out of the room without dropping anything, and that Yoongi stays sound asleep despite the obvious rustling of your coat as you move.

You’re thankful Namjoon kept his word about keeping the fireplace lit, not just because its warmth meets you in the corridor but also for the soft glow it casts along the way to the main area.

Pausing for a second, you can hear Yoongi still snoring through the door, along with louder, muffled snores further down the corridor, which must be Namjoon’s. And, who would’ve thought, you hear some very light snoring coming from Jungkook’s room too.

It feels like you’re walking past caves in some forgotten time, surrounded by Neanderthals who snore more to fend off predators than from sinus problems. It’s funny in a way, you reckon. That’s just how biology works, even if you and every other woman in this world are the ones who suffer through the night because of it.

As you reach the main area, of course, you can’t manage all the things you’re holding, and your book falls to the floor, the sound louder than it should be. You think it didn’t wake anyone, but you’re not sure—Jungkook might be awake, he’s always been a light sleeper, though Namjoon’s snoring is too loud now to tell.

Not bothering to pick it up, knowing you’ll drop something else if you try, you kick the book towards the couches, hoping none of the great authors are cursing you for it. The heat of the fireplace, even though it’s only simmering, pulls you to sink back into the cushions once you’ve set your things down.

The hostel feels so much cosier than by daytime, long shadows casting a warm, festive glow like Christmas morning. You almost wish you’d spent the holiday here instead of alone at home.

Just yesterday, you longed for Jungkook to be by your side, to experience this place and this town with you. But now, even though he is here, it doesn’t feel as fulfilling as you thought it would.

Obviously, he’s been here before, and even when he’s spending time with you, it’s under circumstances you wish were different. It destroys you how things are, how you’re treating each other, how much hatred he clearly has for you now, just at the sight of you.

You understand his bitterness though, understand that he probably wishes he’d never seen you again. But what can you do? It’s not like you booked this hostel on purpose, as if you orchestrated the whole thing just to run into him.

No, it’s all just a coincidence. A brutal one at that. You didn’t have time to prepare yourself, didn’t have time to think about how you’d approach him after all this time, or what you’d say.

You reckon he feels the same—blindsided, overwhelmed, hurt. And he has every reason to be. Still, it hurts so deeply, so excruciatingly, that you just want to leave and never look back. It feels like there’s no saving your relationship with Jungkook, not even the hope of being friends.

Or maybe this trip will be the closure you need. Maybe it’ll be the final heartbreak, the one that’s been dragging on for far too long, but now will come to a head and let you move on, even though deep down you don’t want to. You’re sure Jungkook was the one for you—a love once in a lifetime, the one who got away.

Tossing the book from one hand to the other, your eyes can’t help but linger on the pack of cigarettes lying on the table in front of you. It’s dumb, smoking—you know that, always have. But God, you’re broken. You’re so, so sad, it’s suffocating. And you know it won’t help.

You know smoking, like any other addiction, is just a result of loneliness. That doesn’t make it any easier to resist.

You set the book down, slip into Yoongi’s boots again, and pull on your coat, ignoring the voice in your head telling you not to backslide, not to undo months of progress. But still, you ignore that voice as much as you ignore Namjoon’s snoring, and grab the pack and lighter and stand to head outside once you’re fully clothed. 

You’d forgotten about the chime when you open the front door, pausing for a moment as if it’s trying to stop you, but you keep moving, letting the door shut behind you as the early morning greets you. 

The streets are empty, the air biting cold. But the fairy lights are still on, their glow reflecting silently off the snow and ornaments, but you can’t bring yourself to enjoy it.

Your breath fogs with every exhale as you slowly open the cigarette pack, your hands turning rosy in the cold, warmth steaming off them like dumplings.

You take one out, slip the pack into your coat pocket, and toy with the cigarette between your fingers. 

Should you?

You know you shouldn’t.

You.

Know.

But no one’s here to stop you. Who would even care? So you put it between your dry lips and light it, guarding the flame with your hand as if to stop it from dying the way your heart did.

The first drag is equal parts disgusting and relieving, and soon, your thoughts start to fade. Your chest feels lighter, despite the toxins filling it. Maybe breaking up with Jungkook was the first step towards your own downfall. Maybe it was always meant to be.

The front door opens behind you when you’re halfway through your cigarette, but you don’t turn around. There are only three options for who might join you—Yoongi, up for his first smoke of the day; Namjoon, woken by the chime and curious to see what’s going on; or Jungkook. Though you wouldn’t know why it’d be the latter.

“Smoking kills.”

“So does snowboarding,” you reply through the puff of smoke escaping your lips.

“Fair.”

Silence. You can’t bring yourself to look at Jungkook, now standing beside you, both of you staring at some distant ornament, avoiding each other’s gaze.

“What are you doing out here this early?” he asks, as if it’s not obvious.

“Thought I’d get some fresh air.”

There’s no humour in your tone, just defeat, and those few words seem to sap the last bit of energy you have. You feel like you’ve had the same effect on Jungkook—his voice is as dry as yours.

“Funny.”

You know you can’t undo all the damage between you and Jungkook, but still, you want to at least be civil.

“I’m sorry you have to be our instructor. I didn’t know.”

“Sounds like you wouldn’t have booked it if you’d known.”

You shrug. “Probably.”

“Is seeing me again really that unbearable?”

It is.

Of course it is. But only because you can’t bear seeing him having moved on. So you shrug again.

“I see.”

You take the last drag of your cigarette, drop it into the snow, and stomp it out before immediately reaching for another.

“It’s really bad for you.”

“Why do you care, Jungkook?”

“Because you—”

“Please, just let me be, Jungkook.”

It’s desperate, your plea, resigned. And when you finally lock eyes with him, it almost hurts as much as on the day you broke up with him. He looks like he’s stepped straight out of a dream, the smoke from your cigarette swirling up into the sky between you. He’s so beautiful, especially in the morning when he’s just rolled out of bed. But his hurt eyes—hurt that you caused—are something you can’t handle.

“I never did you wrong.”

His words hit like a slap, and you reckon you deserve it, deserve even more, so you let him continue, knowing he’s far from done.

“Why did you leave me?”

You can’t meet his eyes now. Not just because tears burn in the corners of both yours and his, but because you can’t bring yourself to tell him the truth—that you were never worthy of him. That you were never the one for him, not when he’s found someone like Hara, who fits him so much better. So you shrug again, trying to swallow the lump in your throat as your shaky hands lift the cigarette to your lips for another long drag, hoping he’ll think it’s just the cold affecting you, not the emotions welling up inside.

“God, ___.” You see Jungkook look up at the dark sky, rubbing his hands violently against his face and eyes in your peripheral vision. You’re not sure if it’s out of anger, frustration, or pain, and you’re not sure you want to know.

“I’m sorry,” you force out, losing the fight against your tears as they silently roll down your cheeks. Quickly, you turn around, trying to make it back inside before Jungkook notices your breakdown. 

“For leaving me, or for being with me in the first place?”

“Both.”

You don’t stop, can’t stop even if you tried. Bolting straight into the hostel, you leave your book where you placed it earlier, your only aim to escape, to get to your suite as fast as possible. Away from all you’ve done and can’t take back. 

It’s not like it’s really possible for you to get away from Jungkook, not when he’s still not only very much physically present but still consumes every thought and every space in your heart. It breaks you to see his pain, breaks you even more because you don’t know how to fix it. You’ve created a mess, of the whole situation and of your and his heart, that’s impossible to mend now.

Even if you could, the hurt has left wounds and open scars, which won’t ever heal, especially on Jungkook’s soul, and you reckon he’ll never want you back to begin with.

The door to the suite slams shut behind you, waking up Yoongi, who just turns to look at your broken self, tears still running down in waves.

“Talked to Jungkook?”

“Yes,” you sob.

“Next time, try at daytime, it’s not as emo.”

Well, thank you very much. As if that would have changed a thing. But you don’t bicker this time, knowing that somewhere in Yoongi’s words lies the truth, even if you’re not able to accept it in this moment.

Kicking off his boots and yeeting them across the room where he placed them before you took them, and letting your coat fall off your shoulders, you don’t pay attention to Yoongi’s scolding, disappearing into the bathroom to take a cleansing shower, or rather, to let all the emotions and tears out without being bothered and without being a bother to Yoongi.

It doesn’t take long before the hot water mixes with your tears and for you recognise that you need to somehow get your head straight, or get it checked, because it’s only the second day. A lot more is to come, and you’ll be regretting it if you just wave the white flag and leave. If there’s nothing else you can do, nothing that can help you heal and move on, you want to at least help Jungkook to do so.

You owe it to him, and frankly, that was the main point of why you broke up in the first place. You’ll need to forget your own hurt for the time being, answer all his questions without breaking down again, and you’ll start with that as soon as you’re out of the shower.

“Hurry up! I need to take a piss!”

You’re glad you had half a mind to lock the door, but still, the banging of Yoongi’s fist disturbs you so much, you won’t be able to neither cry nor think in peace.

“Ten more minutes!”

“I’ll piss on your pillow! Open the fucking door!”

Ew. Sighing, you rinse the rest of your shampoo out, hurrying to at least wrap a towel around yourself before unlocking the door. You’re not able to push the handle down because Yoongi bolts inside, ripping his pants down and immediately starting to empty his bladder.

“Ew, gross!”

“Next time, your pillow, ___,” Yoongi sighs, but you’ve already fled the scene. As relatives, you’re close, yes, but not that close.

Nonetheless, you’re thankful for this distraction, even if it just helped you not be dragged further into the blue.

Hearing Yoongi close and lock the bathroom door and turning on the shower does the rest as you now stand fully dressed, with dripping wet hair, in the middle of the suite.

You know there’s no way he’ll open that door back up again, even if you’d knock as violently as he did just now. He simply doesn’t give a fuck. So you see no other option but to get some breakfast with wet hair, knowing there’s not much time left before you’re back on the slopes, or rather the beginner’s hill.

The corridor is empty again, though you hear some chatter from Namjoon and Jungkook down the way. Taking a very deep breath, you try to school your face into happiness, or at least neutrality.

You find both with Jimin in the dining area, the latter unpacking his bread and some pastries onto the table.

“Good morning,” you try to sound as cheerful as possible, but as you lock eyes with Jungkook, you know he notices the red rim around your eyes.

“Hey! Look what I’ve got for you.” Jimin practically explodes with happiness as he gets a see-through box of macarons out of his paper bag.

“No way! Jimin, that wasn’t necessary! Thank you!” You can’t help the genuine smile that spreads across your face, hands eagerly grabbing for them as you unbox them against your stomach, too occupied to even sit down.

“But I wanted to. I’ve never seen someone so obsessed with these.” Jimin laughs his beautiful laugh at your already stuffed smile, as Namjoon just smirks, and Jungkook, well…Jungkook just seems odd.

“Here, at least sit down.” Namjoon offers you the chair beside him, and to be honest, you’d much rather sit somewhere else than face Jungkook, but there’s nothing you can do.

You don’t thank Namjoon this time when he pushes the chair for you to sit down, too embarrassed by your chewing. You shouldn’t have put two macarons in your mouth at once.

“Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Jungkook stays silent throughout it all, just watching you, especially watching Namjoon carefully, while you avoid eye contact. Jimin, on the other hand, can’t keep his eyes from flickering between you and Jungkook with a broad smile, as if he senses something’s wrong. He takes the last empty chair at the small table and sits between you and Jungkook.

“Black, so you’re not overdosed.” Namjoon places your coffee in front of you as his eyes also flick to Jungkook, and you’re not sure what’s happening right now.

“Hold up, hold up, I’ve got my favourite with me. Just for you, ___. You liked it the first time, right?” Jimin pulls out a cup of iced Americano from his bag, this time in a fitting container, but you can’t seem to understand why he’d bring you this when, despite you loving it, it hurts you just as much and he knows it. 

“You know,” Jimin continues with a glint in his eyes that not only makes you uneasy, but clearly Jungkook as well, the latter looking two seconds away from punching Jimin square in the face. “It’s called ‘Only Love’. Right, C? You created it.”

Ah, that makes a lot of sense now. What doesn’t make sense is you choking on the macaron. You should have put two and two together, to be honest, should have seen the connection the moment Jungkook appeared in front of you with everyone in this forsaken town being friends with him, but frankly, you didn’t.

You haven’t been thinking clearly for years, and you reckon it has something to do with Yoongi, who, even though he’s the only constant in your life now, is equal parts disturbing and unable to help you balance your emotions. Not that it’s his job, but being a bit less insufferable would be nice and a welcome change.

Jimin’s still holding the cup towards you, for longer than would feel just friendly, but now you see all the evil clearly. You don’t really know what to do, especially when you look at Jungkook and see him more pissed than you’ve ever seen before. Should you even take it?

“I… I think I’ll stick to black. Not that I really overdose on sugar or anything.” You stammer, wanting the earth to swallow you up rather than this shit morning continuing into a day full of hatred towards you.

Jungkook just scoffs at that, and you’re sure you hear him mutter “of fucking course, perfect timing” just as Yoongi enters the dining room.

“Morning,” Yoongi mumbles, and right as he’s about to sit at another table, Jimin places the Americano in front of you and gets up.

“No, please, sit down. I was just about to leave.”

Jungkook attempts to call Jimin out on his bullshit, but shuts his mouth in an instant when Yoongi claps Jimin on the back and sits down between you both. Turning to Namjoon, he’s still very much smirking as if he’s figured out the whole situation with you and Jungkook, especially when both his legs nudge yours and his, as if daring you both to say something.

“Bye!” Jimin sings as he’s out of the room before anyone can even breathe.

“You forgot your phone in our room.” Yoongi grumbles, stealing some macarons from you as if they were M&M’s, and preparing his plate. “A coffee please.”

“Black?” Namjoon’s grin spreads across his whole face as he gets up to fetch Yoongi’s order, because, dear lord, it wasn’t a kindly meant request.

“You got it.”

As if the morning hadn’t already strangled your emotions enough, your blood’s now boiling because Yoongi couldn’t just bring your stupid phone with him as if that would have been the greatest task in the world. But somehow, seeing Jungkook’s mood crash even more, you’re glad to have a moment to escape the scene, hoping that when you return, it won’t be with police tape around the place.

You don’t have the faintest idea what’s up with him. It’s not like he’s just mad at you—although you know he definitely is. Hell, you’d be mad at yourself if you were him. But something else must’ve happened, something that’s got him this wound up, not only at the sight of you and Yoongi, but his friends too.

It’s no surprise to find your phone where Yoongi said it would be, and seeing it now, face down, you’re beyond thankful he didn’t just hand it to you in front of everyone.

You just want to grab it quickly and shove it into the tight pocket of your leggings, thinking it’s lying on the info sheet from Namjoon, when Yoongi’s handwriting catches your attention. Black ink, neatly written down for all time:

‘Future’s gonna be okay.’

It soothes and breaks your heart all at once, especially when you spot a teeny tiny black heart too. Yoongi might argue it’s just a splatter from the pen, but you know better. Being close to your cousin is a rollercoaster in every imaginable way, but it’s worth it. Because he cares. Because he’ll understand, even if he doesn’t always show it the way you need.

Taking a very, very deep, steadying breath, you leave the note where it is, knowing you’ll definitely need it when you come back tonight, after what will surely be a wonderful day with Jungkook. You just hope you survive it.

Snowboarding doesn’t even scare you as much as Jungkook does. But you steel yourself not to panic, not to freak out about how clueless you are. Time will tell. Future’s gonna be okay.

And with that thought, you head back to the others, wanting something more substantial in your stomach than sugary sweets.

“Odd?”

“Yeah, odd,” Jungkook growls, and you stop short before entering the room again.

“I think I’m treating her just right for who she is to me,” Yoongi laughs, and you can hear the mischief in his voice, full of shit and in full wind-up mode.

There’s no way you’re really letting this turn into a crime scene, so you march into the room, eyes boring into the back of Yoongi’s head, knowing he’ll feel it.

Thankfully, no one says anything, but the looks speak volumes. Jungkook’s glaring daggers at you, Namjoon’s got that worried, torn look like a parent watching their toddler near the stairs, and Yoongi’s just…amused.

Frankly, your appetite’s vanished, and you don’t want to risk sitting down and getting dragged into whatever mess you’re missing today.

“When do we leave?” You ask Jungkook directly, using a tired, fed-up tone you haven’t dared yet.

It seems to do the trick, sobering everyone up as they take their last bites and gulps of coffee, getting ready to move.

Namjoon, ever the sweetheart, hands you the americano, and this time, you’re grateful for it. Screw the memories—you need caffeine to get through this day. A shot of something stronger in it might’ve been better, but alas.

“Thanks, Joon.”

That, of course, earns you a dirty look from Jungkook and an amused one from Yoongi.

“I’ll just grab my stuff real quick.”

“Yeah, we’re waiting in our slippers,” Yoongi says drily, overtaking Jungkook by the door, who looks at you like he can’t believe this is happening.

You ignore them both, turning to Namjoon to escape the drama, but only stumble into another one instead.

“So he’s your ex.”

You groan, shoulders slumping along with your coffee, exasperated as you realise Namjoon’s got you alone.

“Kinda obvious.”

“It is. Some other things are obvious too.”

You give him a long stare, the kind of stare you’ve perfected from hours of silent contests with Jungkook, but Namjoon, who’s obviously used to this too, isn’t fazed the slightest.

“Spill.”

“You’re both adults. Talk.”

Yeah, like it’s that simple. Sit down, have a rational, level-headed chat with Jungkook? Not likely.

“Thanks for breakfast. I’m out.”

You throw a peace sign over your shoulder, knowing you’re not getting anything more out of him, whether he’s right or wrong.

Being civil with Jungkook would be step one before you could even dream of a productive conversation. But based on how this breakfast is going, hell, the whole stay up until now, it’s clear that ‘civil’ is something you’ll never be when it comes to Jungkook. 

“Here.” Yoongi’s brought you your boots and gear, and the reason is instantly clear when Jungkook reappears, glaring at Yoongi like he’s about to snap.

“Could you both please be civil? I’d like to enjoy this holiday,” you snap, so utterly fed up, wishing you could put them both in time-out.

“Sorry,” Yoongi and Jungkook mumble in unison, but the looks they exchange right after make the apology feel pointless.

Even though you’re still struggling way more than you should with these snowboard boots—which surely came straight out of hell just to make your life that little bit more difficult—you still don’t let anyone help you. Not Jungkook, who stopped moving towards you after you shot him an evil glare, and not Yoongi, who suffered the same fate.

Eventually, you manage, somehow. And when you’re ready to go, the three of you grab your snowboards, which are leaning against the wall near the fireplace. It’s not easy to carry yours on your own, especially when the sharp edge cuts into your gloved palm and your other hand is occupied with your Americano. The bindings are digging into your forearm with their stupid weight distribution, but there’s no way you’re going to drag it any other way. Not when you’re not willing to sacrifice your caffeine—that’s just not happening in any lifetime of yours.

Yoongi, for once, is chivalrous enough to open the door for you, but you can’t really appreciate it like you would under normal circumstances. Your nerves are running thin—so thin you’re half-tempted to just smash the chime to dust with your snowboard to shut it up yourself. But you’re not strong enough, and with your luck, Jungkook—who’s walking right behind you—would probably end up on the receiving end of your terrible aim.

No one says a word during the entire walk to the hill, which, now that you think about it, feels worse than all the snide remarks. It’s not like fighting—or going straight for each other’s throats—is the best solution, but this simmering tension isn’t much better either. And you reckon it’s only a matter of time before someone goes off like a bloody nuclear bomb.

Though the real question is, who?

You’d love nothing more than to get inside Jungkook’s head, to take a peek at whatever thoughts are running through his pretty head and figure out why he’s been acting like this—irrational around others, but all sentimental when it’s just the two of you. It’s starting to seriously grate on your nerves.

Seeing that he wants to talk about everything that went down between you both is something you never thought would happen. But his approach? Not ideal. There’s no way you’re having a deep conversation with him before the day has even properly started, and definitely not in the middle of the street. And you’d much rather not have this conversation with others around too, thank you very much.

But the thing is, you’re still not sure if you want to be alone with him. What if your resolve to be all mature and talk like adults crumbles the second he looks at you with those sad eyes again? What if he’s just looking for answers so he can have the closure you know you’ll never get?

The thought feels selfish in every possible way. It disgusts you too, but you’re only human, not some robot who can function without feeling, without knowing what love or losing it is.

You let out a loud sigh, no longer able to bear the weight of the world—or the burning gaze of Jungkook boring into your back. 

“S’up?” Yoongi nudges you causing you to sway, the heavy drag of your boots not helping either. 

“Just enjoying the fresh air.” You bullshit, stepping right up the snow at the base of the beginners hill. 

“The only thing getting fresh air are my middle ears. Fucking feel the inflammation building.”

You’re sure Jungkook hadn’t intended to snort at Yoongi’s remark, but even he can’t seem to resist the humour in the nonsense that sometimes escapes Yoongi’s mouth.

“Some air gonna knock you out?” you tease, trying to nudge Yoongi back, though you fail miserably.

Thankfully, Jungkook’s quick enough to steady you with a free hand before you face-plant into the snow, which is far from the fluffy stuff it was yesterday—now hard as stone.

“You know you’re old when air’s hurting you, ___. You’ll understand when you’re my age.”

You hope that‘ll not be true. 

“Alright,” Jungkook claps once, and you and Yoongi fall into line in front of him after setting your boards and coffee aside. “Yesterday we covered most of the snowboarding theory. Three important things. What are they?”

Silence.

“Awareness, balance, control.”

It’s clear Jungkook’s waiting for something, and after a few agonising moments of just staring at each other, it clicks. He wants you to repeat what he said.

“Awareness,” you start, but Yoongi either hasn’t caught on or really doesn’t care, but you give him a nudge, and eventually, the two of you echo back Jungkook’s words.

“Awareness, balance, control.”

“Right, now, while we’re at it—let’s talk a bit more theory. After awareness, balance, and control, it’s all about anticipation. You can’t just react to things at the last minute, yeah? You’ve got to anticipate the changes. Know what’s coming. Whether it’s an obstacle in your path, a turn, or… someone doing something you didn’t expect.”

“For fuck’s sake, Jungkook! Man up and say it to my face if you’ve got something to say!”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Fuck you did! And you—shut your fucking mouth!” You jab your gloved finger at Yoongi, who stops laughing immediately.

You’re not sure what’s gotten into Jungkook to act so irrational again, but whatever it is, you’ve had enough. Either he stays professional during the lesson, or you’re out. This kind of treatment—whatever you did to him or not—isn’t something you’ll tolerate. Not from him, not from anyone.

Jungkook seems to realise his mistake, or maybe he just doesn’t have the guts to confront you directly about what’s been bothering him. You reckon after all these years, he still hasn’t learned how to communicate properly. Then again, you’re not exactly great at that either.

“How about you stick to teaching during the course and stay in your lane? How about I can at least enjoy this for a few hours?”

Jungkook just nods, not the least approving, and if it weren’t for Yoongi placing a hand on your heaving shoulder and sucking his teeth, you might’ve lunged at Jungkook and strangled him right then and there.

“Right, well, before we get onto the boards, we need to warm up. Can’t have you both pulling muscles before you even touch the snow properly.”

“Please, no running,” Yoongi mutters under his breath.

“No, no running. First up, let’s stretch. Loosen up those muscles. Very important. Otherwise, you might… strain yourself. And trust me, some people,” he side-eyes you, “have a habit of rushing into things without getting properly prepared or listening to what the other person has to say.”

You grit your teeth. Oh, you’re so ready to kill him. If looks could kill, both you and Jungkook would be dead by now. “What the fuck is your problem?” you seethe dangerously low. 

“So, what are we doing first? Jumping jacks? Star jumps?” Yoongi asks sarcastically, more to defuse the situation than out of any real interest in actually participating in this course.

“No, mate. We’re not at boot camp. Just a simple warm-up to start. Arms, legs, get the blood flowing.” Jungkook begins rolling his shoulders and doing some arm circles. “Follow me. Arms out, nice and wide. Slow circles. Loosen up your shoulders. You need a good range of movement, especially when you’re… navigating tricky situations.”

You and Yoongi do your best to follow along, despite the thick jackets. Opting to be the bigger person here, you do your best to ignore Jungkook’s pointed glances and the occasional gust of cold air grazing your stomach whenever you raise your arms too high.

“Good. Now, bend forward, touch your toes—well, try to. Don’t force it. Some people are naturally more flexible than others, but hey, no rush.”

Throughout the whole stretching exercises, you keep your mouth shut, knowing that playing into his madness wouldn’t do either of you any good. You just can’t process it all at this point. And how could you?

Since the moment you stepped foot into this stupid little town, you haven’t had a minute to think. Especially not after Jungkook entered your life again. You’re jealous of all the people out there who can adapt to every moment, who aren’t as utterly pathetic at handling things as you are.

It must be genetics, because, dear lord, you’ve never been good at handling tricky situations, but the ones involving your ex are on another level. You can tell yourself to be cool and collected as much as you want, but at the end of the day, Jungkook will always trigger you.

And if it’s not with his passive-aggressive remarks, it’s with his broken sadness.

“Perfect. Let’s move on then. Before we get into the snowboards, I’ll just have to adjust your bindings real quick, and then we’ll start. For that, I’ll need to see which foot of yours is the dominant one.”

Jungkook walks silently behind you both, looking down at the snow with a slight frown on his lips while you follow his movements with your eyes.

“I’ll start with you, Yoongi. Relax your stance, I’ll push you from behind. Don’t think too much, just catch yourself, yeah?”

Jungkook’s now standing directly behind Yoongi, and as he raises his hand and places it on Yoongi’s back, right between his shoulder blades, your gut twists, fearing Jungkook might push him too hard, letting his anger out because he can’t restrain himself.

But to your relief, Jungkook pushes Yoongi ever so lightly, causing the older man to take a step forward, landing on his right foot.

“Right foot back, your stance is regular.” Jungkook just nods to himself, moving on to stand behind you now. “Your turn, ___. Again, just relax, don’t overthink it. I’ll push you now.”

How can you stay relaxed when Jungkook’s now directly behind you, when you not only feel the weight of his hand on your back but imagine you can feel the warmth of it too? It nearly leaves you gasping, not used to Jungkook touching you anymore.

“Relax,” Jungkook mutters ever so softly, causing your shoulders to drop as you take a deep breath, willing yourself to block him out as best you can.

The push is gentle, and while you take a step forward out of reflex, it’s the same reflex that misses his hand on your back.

“Left is your dominant foot, so goofy’s your stance.”

“Goofy?!”

It sounds offensive. Does it sound offensive? Because both Yoongi and Jungkook look at you, puzzled by your outburst.

Wasn’t that another jab?

“Yeah, it’s called goofy,” Jungkook says, Yoongi nodding as if to tell you to calm down.

“Oh. Okay.”

Jungkook pulls a tiny toolbox from the inner pocket of his jacket while you follow Yoongi, who’s picking up his board. He takes Yoongi’s snowboard first, placing it on his bent knee and unscrewing the first binding.

“Forefoot 18 degrees, back foot 7 degrees,” Yoongi mutters, not the least bit mocking. 

You’re not sure why Yoongi has a preference, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to question it, just nodding and adjusting Yoongi’s bindings to his liking.

When it’s your turn, Jungkook still doesn’t say anything as he takes the board from your hands, and while the adjustments look just the same as Yoongi’s to you, it’s clear both men see the difference as Yoongi interjects, “Fix the left one a bit more outwards, it’ll give her more control.”

Jungkook looks up at that, not angered, not ready to snap, as his eyes flit briefly to you before he eventually just nods and does as Yoongi suggested. Maybe not playing into Jungkook’s remarks earlier was the right course of action, seeing that even though it’s still awkward between you three, it’s more civil than it was before.

Jungkook stuffs his toolbox back into his pocket and turns to grab his own snowboard. As he straps his right foot into the binding, he calls out, “Fasten your front foot onto the board. We’re practising gliding.”

Yoongi does as instructed without a hitch, but you’re struggling a bit. The straps keep getting in the way, making it impossible to secure your foot properly.

Without a word, Jungkook hops over, dragging his board behind him, and quickly fastens the bindings for you.

“Thanks,” you mutter, but he doesn’t meet your eyes, just nods before heading back in front of you both.

“So, it’s simple. Push yourself forward with your free foot, step on the board, and glide for as long as you can. It’ll help you get a feel for the board. And remember—where you look is where you go. Look down, you’ll fall. Look forward, and you’ll be fine as long as your balance is decent.”

Jungkook demonstrates the glide with ease, while Yoongi follows suit right after, looking like he’s done this before, making it seem like a breeze. 

Alright, how hard can it be?

Turns out, pretty damn hard. As soon as you try, your arms flail like mad, desperately trying to regain balance. You stumble forward, managing to catch yourself at the last second, but not before the board lifts off the ground and slams right into your calf.

“Ouch!”

It hurts like hell, and you’re certain a bruise is already forming.

“Take it slow, no rush,” Jungkook says, not even glancing back.

You try a few more times, and while it feels like you’re going to lose a leg by the end of the day, you’re slowly getting the hang of it.

Yoongi’s already finished, standing beside Jungkook and watching you like some proud parent their child who’s learning to swim. You don’t mind though—better that than getting frustrated watching him nail everything effortlessly.

“That’s great, let’s move up the hill and practise side slipping. It’s like a lazy way to snowboard, but it’s useful.”

Dragging yourself up the hill feels like a workout in itself with your board still clasped onto your foot, your calf still throbbing from earlier.

“First things first,” Jungkook’s bending down to his board, “strap your other foot in as well. You want to be on your heel edge or your toe edge. We’ll start with heels, ‘cause if you start on your toes and mess up, you’ll just end up pissed off.”

Once again, Jungkook demonstrates the technique, and once again, Yoongi seems to pick it up straight away. Meanwhile, you’re down on your ass every other minute, frustration building but refusing to quit just yet. Jungkook lets you keep at it until you’ve finally got the hang of it, while Yoongi again just stands there with him, chatting the day away, apparently needing no extra practice.

“Why doesn’t he have to practise?” you yell down the hill.

“Because he doesn’t need to.”

You’re fuming, but deep down you know Jungkook’s right. Still, Yoongi’s supposed to be doing this with you, not just standing there like a supervisor. The anger helps though, because as you slide down the hill again, it’s smooth and controlled—and you feel damn proud of yourself.

“Alright, next exercise. We’re going to slide down on your toe edge now. Flip over so you’re facing up the hill, with your toes digging into the snow.”

You’re already panting from the climb back up the hill, but there’s no rest in sight. Jungkook leaves his board behind as you drag yourself up again, determined to finish this.

“Now,” Jungkook says, “bend your knees, lean forward slightly—like you’re bowing to a king. Lift your heels off the snow, so you’re balanced on your toes. And don’t panic if it feels weird at first. Yoongi, can you please demonstrate?”

“Sure,” Yoongi says, nailing the move effortlessly.

You can’t figure out why Yoongi’s suddenly Jungkook’s little helper, or why Jungkook’s board is still down the hill, but you focus on trying to imitate Yoongi’s technique. You get into position, dig your toes in, but the next second, you slip, barely catching yourself before faceplanting into the snow.

Jungkook’s by your side in seconds, pulling you up by the arms. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” you pant, swallowing the panic that’s rising in your chest. But your grip on his arms gives away just how terrified you are.

“Come on, I’ll help you.”

Jungkook’s hands slide down your arms until he’s holding your hands securely, but just as quickly, he lets go. You immediately lose your balance, nearly falling backwards as your whole life flashes before your eyes.

“Shit!” His hands grab you at the last second, keeping you from toppling over.

“Don’t just let go like that!”

“Why are your gloves this wet?”

You don’t have time to defend yourself against Jungkook’s scolding as he abruptly forces his leg between yours, angling his heel between the snow and your board to keep you in place and balance. 

The proximity to Jungkook has an instant effect on you. Your brain shuts down, and though your blood is rushing through your veins at an overwhelming speed, it somehow calms you down just the same.

Being this close to him, not only seeing him but feeling all of his body pressed against yours, mixed with his intoxicating scent, makes you never want to let go of him again.

“Hold onto me,” he murmurs softly, the closeness making it unnecessary to speak any louder than a breath.

You can’t help yourself, staring at his face, even though he’s avoiding eye contact as he removes your gloves, letting them fall silently behind him. You reckon he hasn’t changed much—just a few piercings and some faint lines caused by age now marking his otherwise mesmerising face. But still, he’s the same.

The same lashes framing his big eyes, the same kissable lips now a bit cracked from the cold, the same glowing skin with that faint scar on his cheek.

It throws you back in time but also makes you ache for all the time spent apart. It’s impossible to feel resentment for the harsh things he’s said, impossible to feel anything but the deep love you still have for him. It’s impossible to look away, even though he isn’t meeting your gaze, busy tugging off his gloves with his teeth.

When his hand reaches for yours, wrapping them in the warmth of his own gloves, you feel like you might break right then and there. You’ve been a fool for pushing him away, for ending things in the first place, when he’s always been this good to you—even now, after all these years.

When Jungkook finally finishes and his eyes meet yours for the first time, you don’t dare breathe, even if you physically could. It’s like the heartbreak never happened, healed by the closeness of two hearts that know they can only beat as one.

You see it in his eyes, like you always could back then, that he feels it too—or at least something close to what you feel.

“I never meant to hurt you,” you manage to say, your voice breaking ever so faintly, with a slight sheen of tears coating your eyes.

“I know,” Jungkook smiles ever so softly, as if he’s always known, as if he understands. But still, he steps back, leaving you cold and longing again, only holding your hands just firmly enough to help you keep your balance. “Try again, toes in the snow, knees bent.”

You swallow the hurt down, knowing you’ve got no right to feel this way, and with Jungkook’s help, you slide down the hill. You succeed, but as soon as you reach the base, Jungkook steps back completely, walking over to Yoongi while instructing, “Try again now on your own.”

And you do. Multiple times until you master it as best you can, all while you know you’re being watched by the two most important men in your life.

Lunch is spent in a tiny fast-food restaurant nearby, just because you’re so hungry you can’t wait ages for a proper meal. Jungkook excuses himself to take a phone call, and you notice a picture of Hara on his screen, though you weren’t fast enough to see whose name was at the top, or if it’s his lock screen or Hara’s contact picture.

“Why are you so good at snowboarding?” you try to sound angry, though your mouth is stuffed, hoping Yoongi can still make sense of the words.

“I’ve been snowboarding before.”

“You what?” You swallow the bite forcefully, needing space to articulate the insults he deserves. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why am I paying for a crash course for you?”

“I didn’t thi—”

“Why the fuck have I paid for and rented your gear?!”

Yoongi goes silent, eating his meal like he’s bored, giving you time to yell at him some more before he speaks. But you don’t, just widen your eyes and shake your head to emphasise how livid you are.

“I didn’t think you’d want to come alone.”

“That’s such a shit excuse, Yoongs. You should have at least paid for yourself. Fucking parasite.”

“Yo, show some respect. You said you’d pay for everything. It’s not like I forced you.”

“Forced me?! You wouldn’t have come otherwise!”

“I can still hang in our suite and leave you alone with Mr. Leaf-in-the-wind.”

“That’s rude.”

“It’s true, and you know it.”

He’s kinda right. But you can see where Jungkook’s coming from, somehow understand why he’s acting the way he does.

You sigh at that, leaning back with another mouthful of food, knowing you should really work on your manners. “You’re not leaving me alone with him. No way.”

“If you say so.”

You startle slightly when Jungkook slides into the seat beside you, hoping he didn’t catch any of what was said while he was gone. And even though you’re dying to know who was calling, you’d rather strip bare in the middle of the restaurant than ask, not wanting to look like some jealous, controlling ex-girlfriend.

“Hara called,” you fucking knew it. “Said Namjoon’s arranged dinner at Jin’s.”

You and Yoongi just hum, though you reckon you’re the only one finding it rude. But who can blame you? You are jealous, you are a fucking control freak, and Jungkook looking the way he does definitely doesn’t help.

You hadn’t noticed before, thanks to his oversized clothes, just how buff he’s become. But seeing him now, his upper body hugged by thermal gear so tight it might as well be see-through, makes you even pettier than you already were at the mention of Hara. And how could you not be?

Clearly, he’s been working out more since you split. Maybe you were holding him back from getting in shape too. It’s funny—you always thought Jungkook peaked while he was with you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

You force the rest of your meal down in silence, occasionally glancing up at Jungkook and Yoongi, who are doing the same. It’s not like you want this silence to linger, but you don’t know what to say, and neither do they.

It’s slightly bothering you that both men were comfortable enough to chat the whole morning away while you were busy trying not to face-plant into the snow, and now can’t seem to say a single word with you around. Maybe you were the problem all along. 

Ugh, you hate having those thoughts again, especially since you’ve made such progress with your self-esteem recently, and now it’s crashing back down, spiralling like something you can’t escape.

When everyone’s finally finished, you pack up your things and step back outside into the cold, hoping the rest of the day goes by as civilly as the last few hours have been. 

Hours later, you’re spent. So utterly spent you’re sure you won’t make it to Jin’s without falling asleep midway through. Like Snow White, you want to lie down and sleep, and for no one to kiss you awake. Though, if you think about it, Jungkook would make a formidable prince.

Stop. You can’t think like this, you won’t allow such homewrecker thoughts. Not when things went well after lunch and there’s hope you can talk shit out.

After finally managing to learn how to take turns on that snowboard straight out of hell, and now being able to proudly say you can get down the beginners’ hill without breaking a single bone, you feel more accomplished than you ever have. Still, you hate snowboarding, and still won’t be doing it again once the two weeks are up.

“Why aren’t we eating at the hostel?”

You didn’t mean to say it out loud, not with Namjoon walking right beside you, and it might come off as though you’re calling him out for saying he’d be your chef during the trip, but hasn’t cooked a single thing for you yet. Namjoon’s blush only deepens your regret, though he takes it in stride.

“Well…uhm…I just thought that—”

“He can’t cook to save his life.” Jungkook interrupts Namjoon’s clear attempt to save face, and you’d never expected to see such a smug look on Jungkook’s face while throwing his friend under the bus.

“Oh, that’s cute. Plenty of women like to cook for their man.” You nudge Namjoon, hoping it’ll ease the tension just a little.

“Ah, I don’t know about that.”

“Did you watch the game?” Jungkook asks, louder than necessary, slowing his pace so he falls in beside Namjoon, forcing you to step aside to avoid colliding with his stupid back. 

The glare he sends your way matches your own, and you’re sure you can read in his eyes that he wants you to back off from his friend. You barely register what Namjoon and Yoongi are talking about, something vivid about an epic basketball game, too caught up in a silent conversation with Jungkook about what his problem is—and yours. But it’s like you’re out of sync, all questions missed, and answers elusive throughout the whole short walk to Jin’s. 

You hadn’t expected Jin’s to be such a lavish restaurant. Despite having the same rustic feel as the rest of the town, there’s a touch of poshness that makes it more enchanting than any other place you’ve been.

Jungkook wastes no time after stepping inside behind you, passing you to get to the bar where Hara and Hope are perched. Sadly, or maybe thankfully, you don’t see how he greets them, as a man steps into your view, broad shoulders blocking everything else.

“Welcome! I’m Jin! You must be ___.”

Jin practically squeezes you to death with his hug, your sore muscles protesting at how tight he holds you. You can’t hold back your laugh, not only because his greeting is the warmest you’ve ever received, but because you know the moment he lets go of you, he’ll do the same to Yoongi.

“Thanks for having us, Jin,” you squeak, tapping his back in hopes it’ll make him release you.

“Oh please, I’m so thrilled to finally meet you both.” Jin beams down at you before turning to throw himself at Yoongi, just as you predicted. “Yoongi, hi!”

“Please let go of me.” But Jin doesn’t listen, and you think he squeezes your grumpy cousin even tighter than before until he finally lets him go too.

“I’ve prepared a whole course for you three. I know Jungkook can be a bit demanding with his food, so I’ll make sure you’re well fed.”

Jin guides you to a table near the bar, and like the little control freak you are, you opt for the chair that gives you a view of the whole restaurant, including the bar. You don’t have a great view of Jungkook and Hara, though, as Namjoon is standing perfectly in front of them, but you think you see Hara leaning against Jungkook.

It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, twisting the knife of jealousy oh-so-slowly in your gut. You’re not sure how Jungkook could have found someone new so quickly, especially after telling you over and over again that you were the love of his life. Maybe it was just heartbreak that drove him to find solace in someone else. Maybe it’s just a hungry heart wanting to be fed with a fraction of love.

But you don’t want to assume that Hara’s love for him can’t compete with yours. Even though a part of you is certain that what you felt—and still feel—for him is beyond anything humanly possible. And even if her love for him is pure, yours will always outshine hers. Or maybe that’s just the green-eyed monster talking, infecting your thoughts.

But so be it. There’s nothing left to lose after you lost Jungkook, after you lost yourself, not just during your relationship with him, but in so much more.

Jin takes your drink order, and while at first you thought a Diet Coke would be nice after today, you opt for a whole bottle of wine. Not to share. Oh no, it’s entirely for yourself, because if you’re going to spend the evening witnessing Jungkook with his new flame, you’re definitely not doing it sober.

“You look jealous.”

“You don’t say.”

“Talk to him.”

“About what, Yoongs?” you snap as quietly as possible, fingers digging into the tablecloth to stop yourself from losing it. “How he’s fucking that model? Or how easy it was for him to move on?”

“That would be a start.”

“You’re ridiculous. Now shut up, they’re coming over.”

It’s not like you want to stare, but seeing Jungkook so at ease with Hara makes your stomach turn. And why Yoongi had to sit opposite you, leaving no other option but for Hara and Jungkook to sit on either side of you, is something you’ll never forgive him for.

“Hey!” Hara greets you both so warmly that you regret bashing her in your thoughts. Even if she’s Jungkook’s girlfriend, she’s always been nice to you.

“Hey, how have you been?”

Jin takes this moment to bring over a tray full of drinks. Yoongi has a beer, Hara a glass of water like Jungkook—yuck—and he sets the whole bottle of wine with a fitting glass in front of you. You should feel embarrassed, but you really don’t.

“You want some too?” you ask Hara out of politeness, knowing Jungkook never drinks during the week, as you pour yourself a generous first glass of your survival drink, wanting nothing more than to down it all before dinner starts.

“Oh no, thank you! I’m pregnant.”

The bottle’s still in your hand, but the glass is already at your lips with a hearty sip in your mouth, which you promptly snort back into the glass. You’re not sure if the tears springing to your eyes are just from the wine burning your sinuses and uncontrollably coughs or from your heart crumbling into dust at this revelation.

Jungkook—bless the tiny space you still occupy in his heart—is at your side in seconds, helping you recover from the near-death experience, but his touch feels scolding now.

Scolding in a way that makes you think back to all the times he said he wanted to be a dad, to all the times he fucked you raw and let his kink give you the best orgasms of your life. And eventually, you have to force yourself not to picture it—how he found all of that with Hara.

“Congratulations!” you manage to force out after everyone’s back in their seats and a bit of quiet has settled.

“Thank you! We’re all so happy, right?” Hara caresses her stomach, beaming at Jungkook, who looks just as thrilled as she does.

“Yeah! It’s going to have a wonderful mother.”

“Duh.” She laughs, sipping her water while you drown your glass, smiling and nodding as if you couldn’t agree more.

You don’t recall much of the conversations during dinner, don’t remember the sweet lies you told to hide how broken you are. But when Jungkook and Hara disappear into the kitchen after the meal, you grab Yoongi from his chair and drag him towards the door.

“Bye! Thanks for dinner!” you call to Namjoon and Hope, who look confused, but you’re too tipsy to care. Too tipsy to make out what Jin says to you as he rushes out of the kitchen, while you stumble outside.

“What was that?” Yoongi pulls his arm out of your grasp, hating it when you’re like this.

But you can’t hold it together anymore, alcohol always making you sad, emotional, and sentimental. Maybe it was the last straw—time to let Jungkook go, though him being so wound up this morning still nags at your mind.

“I’ve changed my mind.” You start walking towards the hostel, hearing Yoongi following, the snow crunching under your feet. “You’re free to do whatever you want.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

Yes, you are. You need to end this limbo once and for all.

“I need answers, and I won’t get any if I’m not alone with Jungkook.”

Day 3

Maybe opting to spend the day alone with Jungkook wasn’t the best idea you’ve had. Not that it isn’t necessary to finally get the answers that have been piling up, but you’re not sure how to ask him without it turning into an interrogation.

Facing Jungkook first thing this morning would’ve been too much too, especially since you’ve barely had time to process the pregnancy bomb Hara dropped on you. So, sneaking out of the hostel it is.

You regret not stopping by Hope’s to grab your winter boots, but with no other option, you head out in full snowboarding gear, aiming to grab breakfast at Jimin’s.

What you didn’t expect was to spot Hara in the pastry shop as you stand outside, staring longingly at the treats like a starving kid. You can’t face her right now, so you quickly turn and decide to head anywhere else but here or the hostel, hoping there’s another bakery somewhere in town.

But of course, in your bulky snowboarding gear, you’re not exactly inconspicuous, looking more like an oversized ball of dark fabric against the snow. Naturally, Jimin spots you straight away, waving you in like you originally planned.

And of course, Hara notices too, her soft eyes and glowing smile radiating warmth as she waves at you.

Forcing a smile, you head to the entrance and with one deep breath, step into the lion’s den, thinking breakfast spent with Jungkook would have been the better option. 

“Morning, ___!”

“Hey Hara. Jimin.”

You’re still a bit pissed at Jimin for being a little shit yesterday, stirring the pot between you and Jungkook for no reason. But seeing him now, friendly and without the evil glint in his eyes, tempers your anger just a bit.

“The usual?”

“I didn’t know I had one,” you laugh, now standing beside Hara, who’s practically pressed up against the glass display of sweets. It’s kind of cute, and you reckon the pregnancy hormones are hitting her hard, especially this early in the morning.

“I’d die for a coffee,” she mumbles, fogging up the glass and quickly wiping it clear again to not spoil her view.

Jimin’s back is to both of you, already busy with the coffee machine. “I could make you a decaf.”

“No, I read somewhere that decaf isn’t really decaf. And while nursing, caffeine stays in the baby’s system for up to three days. I don’t even want to think about how long it stays in their system when they’re still in the womb.”

“Oh, that’s wild. I didn’t know that.” You’re genuinely shocked by the news, and a little concerned for any women who don’t know either.

“Yeah.” Hara sighs, fogging the glass up again and immediately wiping it clean.

Why Jimin’s not serving Hara first and is making your coffee instead is beyond you, but you don’t say anything. Maybe she can’t decide what to eat just yet, or there’s something she’s avoiding. Either way, you don’t want to end up as the town’s biggest grouch.

“Aren’t you warm?” Hara asks, glancing at you, though her gaze keeps drifting back to the sweets.

“Yeah.” You stammer a little, awkwardly taking off your coat, walking back to the door to hang it up on the rack, which has been bodged together again. You realise quickly that Namjoon or Jimin clearly aren’t cut out for DIY which is definitely a pass.

“Something to eat?”

“Yes,” you and Hara answer in unison, though hers is more of a relieved sigh, making you giggle as you make your way to the table you sat at some days ago.

“What’ll it be then?”

“How about a bit of everything as an apology?” you tease, unable to let his mischief slide like you probably should.

“Touche.”

“What did he do again?” Hara’s now sitting beside you, both of you watching Jimin as he diligently piles treats onto a massive plate. A brief flicker of guilt runs through you as you think about the way you’ve been eating lately, except for that one perfect meal at Jin’s. But you’re only here for a few days, so you might as well make the most of it. There’s no way you’re saying no to all this food, especially when Jimin owes you more than that.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Mhm, sure,” you smirk, crossing your arms as you exchange glances with Hara, who’s clearly curious and ready for some gossip, even if it’s at your expense.

She looks stunning in the soft morning light filtering through the window, her thick black hair falling in loose waves like she’s fresh from a blowout. Maybe it’s just good genes, because her skin is flawless—no makeup, no blemishes, no dark circles.

Maybe, in another life, she could’ve been a friend. But there’s no way you could ever be close to someone who’s got the man you love.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

“What did he do?” Hara’s leaning forward now, elbows on the table, hands framing her perfect face as she eagerly looks between you and Jimin, clearly hooked on your tea. 

“He’s been a little shit, stirring trouble.”

“I just brought you your favourite,” Jimin grins innocently, making his way to the table. But you can clearly see the mischievous glint in his eyes again, and before you know it, he’s setting down the dreaded americano in front of you. Hara’s already grabbed a macaron, barely waiting for the plate to touch the table.

“What’s so bad—” Hara starts,  talking through a mouthful of food in a way only you could relate to, but Jimin cuts her off. 

“She’s his ex.”

Hara’s reaction is immediate—she starts choking on her pastry, and you flash back to last night when you nearly drowned yourself with wine. You’re unsure what to do, hesitating with your hands hovering over her, worried about whether patting a pregnant woman on the back is safe as your panic rises. Luckily, Jimin sprints behind the counter, grabs a bottle of water, and leaps back over to hand it to her.

Thankfully, Hara recovers quickly, and your heart slows down as you see she’s alright.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?!”

That’s…not the reaction you were expecting.

“If you’d just checked the group chat, you’d know.”

“Wait, you have a group chat where you talk about me?!”

“Not important.” Hara waves you off with a hand, though the growing smile on her face makes the gesture anything but rude. She pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through missed messages, clearly catching up on something you’re not privy to.

You try to sneak a glance at her screen, but she leans away, blocking your view. Instead, you watch her face as she scrolls—at first, there are little giggles, but soon her expression sours into a full-on pout.

What the hell are they texting about you? Isn’t that illegal or something?

“Why?” she whines, looking at Jimin while your confusion just deepens.

“Dunno. Ask Namjoon.” 

“Namjoon?” The name slips out before you can stop yourself. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be involved in this.

Hara lets out an exasperated sigh, sinking into her seat like she already knows the answer Namjoon would give but is too drained to accept it. “Ugh, no way.”

You clear your throat, hoping to redirect the conversation, though the frustration is building. “Namjoon?”

“Yeah, Namjoon. Now eat before it gets cold.”

“Your pastries are cold,” you shoot back, but Jimin just waves it off.

“See? Now eat.” And with that, he disappears through the door leading to the back, leaving you stewing. You hate him for this—stirring up chaos and then vanishing as if he didn’t cause it in the first place. 

Hara, meanwhile, seems lost in her thoughts, again eating, one hand’s wrapped around a croissant, the other clutches a muffin. How she manages to look like she’s stepped straight out of a commercial is beyond you, and somehow it fits that Jungkook would be with someone like her.

You hesitate, not daring to nudge her. You’ve never spent much time around pregnant women—how fragile are they, really? Better safe than sorry.

“Namjoon?” you ask again, more gently this time.

Her eyes flick up to yours, as if she momentarily forgot where she was. There’s no defensiveness in her gaze, only a soft apology. She places the muffin down and reaches out to touch your arm after wiping it clean on her sweater, her hand gentle and comforting like a mother consoling a child. She’s really going to make a great mum.

“I’m sorry, love. I can’t tell you.”

Surprisingly, it doesn’t make you angry. You should be furious, with how cryptic everyone’s being, and especially with how inconsistent Jungkook’s been treating you lately. But you can see the sincerity in Hara’s face. She really is sorry, and somehow, that makes it harder to be mad. She’s just…lovable in all the ways you’re sure you never could be.

So you just nod, defeated, and finally start eating your breakfast as well. Thinking about all the conversations you could have with Hara right now makes deciding which one you’d actually want to have not that easy. 

Asking about her pregnancy could be a start, maybe how far along she is since she’s not showing yet. It would be a question asked just for the sake of it, to get to know her a bit better. Because quite frankly, even if you checked Jungkook’s or her social media to confirm if he was in town and might be the father of Hara’s child, it wouldn’t really help. The evidence wouldn’t be enough, seeing as he’d apparently be in Hawaii now if you took socials as proof.

Asking her how her relationship with Jungkook is? Not an option. Why would you willingly want to hear anything about their intimacy? Definite no.

Her childhood? Pass.

Her job? Don’t care.

Whether she has pets? Hmm, that would be nice to know. You love animals, regardless of their owner, so that’s where you settle.

This time though, you swallow the bite of food before speaking to Hara, who’s managed to eat half of the huge plate sitting before you both while you were lost in thought. Just as you part your lips, inhaling enough air to ask your first personal question, she freezes mid-bite with a half-eaten cinnamon roll in hand, her eyes wide.

“Oh no…” she breathes, mortified, cradling her stomach as she drops the roll and bolts towards the nearby toilet, gagging.

To your dismay, she doesn’t close the door behind her, and you can hear her throwing up everything she’s eaten so far, which sets off your own stomach. You start gagging too, barely able to stand, hating this reaction you’ve had since childhood whenever someone’s vomiting or even gagging near you.

You need to leave. Now. So you call out a quick “sorry” and “bye” with your hand over your mouth, grab your coat while passing the sad excuse of a fixed coat rack and rush outside. You’re not even fazed by the freezing cold, just relieved to be as far away from the sound of vomiting as possible.

Seeing no other option than to go back to the hostel and get your snowboard, you try to calm yourself as much as you can. It’s finally time to face Jungkook alone, how you’ll manage, you don’t know—but you’ll figure it out as you go.

When you enter the hostel, Jungkook’s already standing in full gear in the main area, turning his head from the hallway leading to the rooms when the chime signals your arrival. He looks confused for a moment, but as you approach your snowboard, you try not to let his presence faze you.

Though you fail miserably when your voice embarrassingly cracks. “Good morning.”

Jungkook still has the same effect on you. Anytime your eyes catch even a glimpse of him, whether in person or just a pixelated picture on the internet, he takes your breath away and makes you flustered all over again. It’s not like it’s something new—he’s had that effect on you ever since the first time you saw him, when he was tapping on your car window, asking if you needed help as you were clearly having a breakdown because you couldn’t, for the life of you, park in the narrow side street.

“Morning. Where’s your other half?” Jungkook’s voice turns slightly bitter, but as you look at him, you can tell he’s more irritated with himself than anything.

“He’s not coming.”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow in question, walking towards the door to leave for the hill.

“He doesn’t need it. It’s just us. Or should we cancel the lesson altogether?” You grin at him as you walk beside each other, playful but secretly hoping for a way out that won’t involve you breaking a bone today.

“No, ‘s fine.” You think you catch a small smile tugging at Jungkook’s lips, but he quickly pulls his scarf up over his mouth, hiding it.

“Did you sleep well?”

You mull over his question, wondering if whining about being awake most of the night because of Yoongi’s snoring, which could probably warrant a sleep clinic appointment, and your own relentless overthinking about Hara’s pregnancy and Jungkook’s involvement, warranting an appointment with a psychologist, would be a good idea. But you decide against it. Not just because you don’t want to confront him yet, but because voicing a lie to explain why a whole bottle of wine didn’t lull you to sleep doesn’t cross your mind quickly enough.

“Perfectly. And you?”

“Yeah, though the beds are a bit too soft. You like them though, right?”

Nostalgia hits you like a snow storm—the fact that Jungkook still remembers such trivial details about you.

“Yeah, I even brought my snuggly,” you giggle, knowing he’ll definitely remember that as well. 

What you didn’t consider is that the exact pillow you’ve been cradling every night since you got it was a gift from Jungkook himself. When his eyes snap to you, wide with recognition, searching your face to make sure he heard you right, you realise you’ve said too much.

He doesn’t ask any follow-up questions. In fact, he doesn’t say anything, and you’re too caught up in your head to even attempt small talk. How could you, with Jungkook? The two of you have never been like this, never awkward. You were always at ease, immediately friends, then more, and eventually…nothing at all.

It’s only when you reach the dreaded hill, with Jungkook stepping in front of you like the instructor he is—and how you should be seeing him right now—, that you try to bottle up everything, telling yourself you’ll bring it up later, maybe over lunch. It’s already late morning, so it won’t be too long until you get the answers you’re desperate for.

“So, today we’ll be snowboarding for real,” he starts, but it’s so much softer than when Yoongi was with you. There’s a gentleness in his tone now, something quieter, like he’s trying to ease you into it rather than push. “But before we lift up and go down the slopes, I want you to get a feel for gliding with a bit of speed.”

Yeah, no. He’s not easing, he’s definitely pushing you. You don’t like where this is going.

“First with a rope, then we’ll use the hill a few times, and hopefully before lunch we’ll make our first descent down the blue slope.”

“Blue?”

“It’s the easiest one. I’ll explain it in detail once we’re up there.” He points with his thumb over his shoulder.

Following the direction, you notice multiple skiers and snowboarders already dashing down the slopes. You’re pretty sure you hear someone scream right before they fall, snow exploding around them like flour hitting the ground. You gulp dryly, but you nod all the same.

When Jungkook pulls a cut-off lift cord from his jacket, you’re equal parts terrified and impressed by how much he carries around without you noticing.

“Clip yourself in, please,” he instructs as he unwraps the cord, walking towards you with both ends in hand.

Of course, you do as he says, but you can’t help glancing warily at the cord, still unsure of exactly what he’s got planned.

Shifting awkwardly on your snowboard, trying not to fall while Jungkook messes with the lift cord, you try to ignore the racing of your heart as Jungkook’s gloved hands tug gently around your body to secure it. But all your attempts to focus on anything other than how natural it feels for him to be helping you again, are futile at their best. 

„You ready?“ He’s got this grin on his face, one you recognise too well—the kind that usually means he’s about to do something reckless or ridiculous. It’s the same grin he had that time he convinced you to build a fort out of every cushion in his apartment, just because and why not.

“Not even a little bit,” you admit, but still, you’ve never been able to say no to that grin. Snowboarding is definitely not something you ever thought you’d be doing, yet, here you are, letting your ex teach you. It’s awkward as it sounds, except…it’s not.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m gonna start pulling now. Just relax, yeah?” he grins, his voice carrying that casual, teasing tone that makes your heart ache just a little bit too much. Swallowing hard, you adjust your stance, trying to keep your balance as he gets into position.

“Relax? You’re literally going to run while pulling me. How am I supposed to relax?” you shoot back, giving him a look. Your knees feel wobbly just thinking about it, and you’re not even moving yet.

He chuckles, his eyes crinkling ever so lovingly at the edges. “Trust me, you’ll be fine. Just focus on staying straight and let me do the hard part.”

You shake your head, but deep down, you do trust him. You always have, even when you probably shouldn’t. Like that time he tried to teach you how to ride a bike after you told him you hadn’t been on one since you were a kid. He’d run alongside you, holding the seat, laughing the whole time while you screamed about how you were going to crash. And yeah, you did crash. But he was right there to catch you before you hit the ground.

“Okay, here we go!” Jungkook calls out suddenly, interrupting your thoughts. He grabs the lift cord a bit tighter, gives it a little tug, and then he’s off—actually sprinting through the snow, pulling you behind him like some kind of sled dog.

The board jerks beneath you as you’re dragged forward, and for a split second, you think you’re about to eat snow. But you don’t. Somehow, you manage to keep your balance, your legs flexing to stay upright as you glide over the snow. You can’t help it—you let out a yelp of surprise, half-laughing, half-shrieking, as Jungkook keeps running ahead of you, turning to look over his shoulder with a huge grin on his face, sparkling eyes, and a nose red from the cold.

“See? You’re doing it!” he shouts, his voice breathless but excited, clearly proud of you just for managing not to fall.

“Don’t distract me!” you yell back, laughing now despite yourself. The rush of the cold air against your face and the ridiculousness of the situation sends a burst of adrenaline through you, and for a moment, you actually feel like you’re snowboarding. Well, sort of. „I’m going to crash!“

„Nah, I’d never let you crash!“

You look up at that and he still looks annoyingly good, like he’s stepped out of a high-end winter sports ad. You wonder if he’s thinking about the past too—about the warmth you’d felt on those lazy Sunday mornings when you’d wake up next to him, the two of you tangled in blankets, sharing groggy laughter and sleepy conversation before starting the day.

Why did it have to end? That thought keeps creeping up, even though you tell yourself not to think about it. You weren’t right for each other, or maybe you were, but just not at the right time maybe. But there are still these little moments that get you. Moments like now, when he’s right in front of you, close enough but still far away.

Jungkook slows down a little, but his grip on the cord stays secure, guiding you as you slide behind him. It’s strangely easy, being pulled along like this. You’re not focused on your feet or the board or the fear of falling—you’re just…moving because of Jungkook. Making you remember all those rare times you’d dance around the kitchen with him guiding you in his sturdy arms, not caring if you looked ridiculous or if you were stepping on each other’s socked feet. Back when everything was uncomplicated, and just being with him made you happy.

“You’re not even trying to steer!” Jungkook calls out, teasing, his breath visible in the cold air. He looks over his shoulder again, his hair bouncing slightly as he jogs, and there’s something playful and secure in his eyes—something that makes you remember why you fell for him in the first place.

“I’m trying! Let me life!” you protest, though your voice is shaky from laughing too hard. It’s ridiculous, this whole thing, but you’re actually having fun.

“Alright, I’m gonna let go now,” Jungkook warns, slowing down even more. “Get ready to stop.”

You brace yourself, bending your knees just a bit more, trying to remember everything he told you over the last two days about controlling the board. But before you can do much more than panic slightly, he releases the cord, and you glide forward, the board still carrying you for a few more feet before coming to a slow, wobbly stop right in front of him, your snowboard between his legs.

You stand there for a moment, catching your breath, and when you turn your head up to look from Jungkook’s chest to his face, there’s nothing less than a satisfied smile on his lips.

“See? Told you it’d be fun,” he smiles, like this whole thing was a walk in the park for you. Honestly, it probably would be for him. He’s always been annoyingly good at making things look easy.

“Fun? I almost fell like ten times!” you exaggerate, but you’re still smiling. You can’t help it. It’s hard not to smile when you’re around him, even now, years later. 

Slightly out of breath, he gives you that boyish grin that makes you swoon even more. “But you didn’t. And you were laughing, which means you were having fun.”

You want to argue with him, to say that just because you were laughing doesn’t mean you weren’t terrified, but the truth is, you did have fun. More fun than you’ve had in a while, actually.

“Okay, fine. Maybe it wasn’t that bad,” you admit, brushing some snow off your gloves. “But I still don’t know what I’m doing.”

“That’s the point. You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You just have to let yourself try.”

You stare at him for a second, trying to decide if he’s talking about snowboarding or —again—something else entirely. It’s funny how easily he slips back into your life like this when you’re alone and forget about the world, making you laugh, making you feel like things aren’t as complicated as they really are. It reminds you of all those little moments you had together—when you’d stay up late, talking about nothing in particular, just enjoying the sound of each other’s voice or binge-watching shows that neither of you were really that into but refused to stop watching because you both needed to see how ridiculous the plot would get. Or, even, those lazy afternoons spent cooking together, fumbling through recipes neither of you knew how to make, laughing at each other when you messed up.

Those days were safe, easy. And even though it’s over, you miss that ease sometimes—the way he’d make you laugh without trying, the way he’d look at you during the quiet moments when he didn’t think you were paying attention.

Jungkook steps back and bends down to pick up the cord again, glancing up at you with that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes. “Wanna go again?”

You sigh dramatically, though you’re already nodding. “I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

He laughs, and the sound of it is oh so wonderfully warm. “Nope. You’re stuck with me.”

As he starts pulling the cord again, you feel that rush of excitement building in your chest, the same way it used to whenever he’d suggest something spontaneous or ridiculously dangerous. It’s easy to forget everything else when you’re with him—how things ended, how you’re supposed to be moving on. But for now, in this exact moment, with him pulling you along like old times, you let yourself enjoy it. 

Because quite frankly, as soon as you have the talk with him, you’re sure there won’t be any of these shared moments anymore. Ignoring the ticking countdown inside your head is everything you’re willing to do for now, you’re not quite ready to let go of the ease that obviously can still exist between you, fragile as it may be. 

Some time later, after you’ve been gliding—no, really snowboarding—down the hill a few times, you’re sitting on top of it with Jungkook beside you. Both of you are clipping yourselves in, facing the lift where you’re about to head up for your first proper descent.

“People are already off to lunch, so the lift’s going to be pretty empty. Try to stop right behind me, I’ve got the ticket for you.”

“Okay.” you hesitate, but maybe it’s the perfect time to clear some of your questions. “Uh, before we start, could you tell me what you’ve all been saying about me in the group chat?”

“What?”

“Yeah, like, what you’ve been talking about me. About us.”

Jungkook looks completely confused, muttering, “We don’t talk about you there,” but he pulls his phone from his pocket regardless, unlocking it and heading straight to the group chat. “What the fuck?!”

“What is it?”

You try to peer at his phone, but the sun’s too bright for you to make anything out.

“They’ve removed me from the chat.”

Frowning at his phone, Jungkook quickly types out a flurry of messages to all his friends, each one filled with the same curse words and passive-aggressive tone. But when you see him typing to Hara, it’s just a politely phrased question, before he puts his phone away and turns to you with apologetic eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on with—”

“Jungkook!”

You turn towards the chirpy voice calling out, spotting two snowboarders decked out in pink, gliding effortlessly towards you. Their gear isn’t baggy, snugly fitting and showing off their slender physiques.

“Who’s that?” you mutter to yourself, still transfixed by how effortlessly they come to a stop in front of you. You think you hear Jungkook mumble something like no clue.

Both girls remove their scarves and protective goggles, revealing not only perfect features but also flawless makeup—more suited for a night out than a day on the slopes.

“Hey,” Jungkook greets them, confusion evident in his tone.

“It’s so dope to see you again! Right, Minji? Best instructor in the world.”

Both giggle, and you notice Jungkook shifting uncomfortably. Did he sleep with them? They look so young, he wouldn’t have…right?

“Oh, thanks. Minji and…uh…”

“Sora!” She winks at him, still ignoring your presence. “It’s been, what? Two years? We’ve grown up now, right?”

“The Cho cousins! Of course! Wow, you really have grown up!” Jungkook smiles now, no longer bothered by the obvious flirting, though your mood sours the longer the girls stare at him.

“You remember,” Minji breathes, looking at him like a lovesick puppy.

“You want to grab lunch with us? Catch up a bit?”

“We were just about to—” you start, but Sora interrupts you with a pout.

“Pretty please?”

“Are your parents with you?” Jungkook asks.

“No, just us.”

Jungkook turns to look at you, and you school your expression into neutrality.

“We could have lunch now and then—”

“Yeah, the lesson’s over for today,” you say flatly, unclipping your feet from your board and getting up immediately. “See you later.”

You’re not proud of how you’ve handled it, but you’re done. You’ve wasted the whole morning without getting any answers, and now there’s another issue you wouldn’t have wanted.

“Wait!” Jungkook calls after you, but you’re already at the base, not looking back as you head straight to the hostel, hoping Yoongi had the sense and decency to finally grab your stuff from Hope’s.

Hearing Jungkook trying to catch up with you gives you that extra boost, despite your muscles aching, pushing you to increase your pace. It’s pretty embarrassing how you’re practically fleeing from him, but you’re pissed, and you’re petty, and he knows it too. Jungkook definitely still knows how to handle you when you’re like this, but right now, you just can’t.

Luckily, he doesn’t speed up, and you make it to the hostel first, stumbling inside. Everyone, literally everyone, is scattered around the main area as if they’re plotting something you’re not in on. They all fall silent the moment you burst through the door, with a few empty takeout boxes on the table and Jimin holding a clipboard and pen.

“Uh, hello?” you ask carefully.

That seems to break their trance as everyone starts blinking and moving again. Yoongi gets up with a takeout box in hand and walks over to you.

“Want some takeout?” He’s being too nice, and the way his eyes shift over his shoulder to Namjoon and Hope does anything but ease your nerves.

“What’s going on here?”

No one answers. Jin even starts whistling while cleaning his nails, which earns him a swift kick to the shin from Hara, who’s sitting between him and Tae.

“Just getting things ready for tonight,” Namjoon finally says, though you can see in his eyes that he’s straight-up bullshitting you.

You don’t have time to push for answers as Jungkook bursts through the door too, looking just as confused. “What’s going on?”

“Preparations,” everyone except you says in unison, making them seem even more suspicious than they already are.

“Why are you back so soon?” Hara tries to distract, smiling as she glances between you and Jungkook.

That’s your cue to leave though. You’re not dealing with this today. “Thanks for the takeout, I’m off for a shower. Bye~.”

And with that, you grab the takeout box from Yoongi, swap it with your snowboard, and stomp off in your snow-covered boots towards your suite. Locking yourself inside, you decide to spend the day on some much-needed self-care before you have to face the party tonight.

Because finally having the time to think—or rather, not to think—and just get back to your inner zen, maybe even start acting a bit more rationally, is exactly what you need. You’re just relieved that everyone, even Yoongi, has left you alone throughout the whole afternoon, only briefly interrupting you so he could get ready for the evening as well.

You’re not sure why you opted for the clothes you’re currently wearing, feeling ridiculously overdressed for this town, but at the same time underdressed for the weather. Still, you won’t let every other woman around you push you into their shadows, knowing there’s a spotlight for you too, even though you barely take it.

If Jungkook’s the visual type, which you know for a fact he is, then you’ll damn well show him what he’s missing. Not just to give him a mental middle finger, but also for you to feel at least a bit more adequate.

Maybe there’ll be someone at the party who’ll appreciate your appearance, someone who isn’t familiar with your past or your sorry attempt at being something you’re simply not. Maybe tonight’s all about getting answers and a change, closing the book written by Jungkook.

Grabbing your small purse, you stuff your phone into it, pulling on your boots, which don’t quite match your outfit, but leaving with heels would be a death sentence with the snow-covered streets. It’ll have to do, especially when you’re hoping that Jin’s place is dimly lit, so no one notices your footwear anyway.

When you enter the main area, Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook are already waiting for you, the latter two stunned silent as they take you in. It makes you blush, though you hope your makeup stays true to its claims and doesn’t let the pink show through.

Jungkook’s decked out in all black again, his fitted jeans straining against those massive thighs you’ve always had a weakness for. You think you spot a silver chain peeking out from his collar—it looks familiar, but you’re not entirely sure. You reckon it might be a new one; time has definitely passed, and it would be odd if he were still wearing jewellery gifted by his petty ex who dumped him.

“Finally,” Yoongi breathes, standing up from the couch with a clap to his knees.

Jungkook throws him an evil eye, though you chalk it up to his general hostility towards him rather than any real annoyance at the semi-rude comment about how long you took to get ready.

“You look beautiful,” Namjoon smiles, that dimpled smile of his, walking beside you as you head out to the party.

“Thanks, Namjoon, I like your hair.” You compliment him back, noticing the effort he’s put in as well, his hair now gelled back, showing off his forehead.

You’re glad Jungkook doesn’t butt in again, though the silent simmering isn’t much better. It’s kind of childish how he’s acting—not that you’re any better—but still, it grates on your nerves. At this point, though, you’re not even sure talking to him would help, considering how loaded everything is between you two, you reckon there might not be a way back to normalcy. Not that you know what normal would look like with Jungkook. 

When you finally reach Jin’s, you’re pleasantly surprised by how it’s transformed—not just because the whole town’s there, but because the decorations are on point. Multiple mistletoe hang from the ceiling, with glittery ornaments reflecting the fairy lights, making the whole place feel more like a Christmas nightclub than the posh restaurant it was just yesterday.

You spot Hope, Hara, and Tae right away, deep in conversation in front of a makeshift stage, where several microphones and instruments are set up. Jungkook and Namjoon are swarmed within seconds by women swooning over them like starved cougars which annoys you just a bit more than usual. 

It’s too much for you again—you can’t stand to watch—so you grab Yoongi’s hand and drag him to the bar, needing to drown a shot glass, even if it ends up filled with your tears by the end of the night.

“Hey!” Jin greets you from behind the bar, shaking up a drink for an older lady perched on a barstool, who looks like a cross between a crazy rich Asian and a fashion icon. You’re sure to see Jimin’s hair flopping at the other end of the bar, probably helping out in serving drinks tonight. 

“Yo, Jin, what’s up?” Yoongi daps him up, and you sit down, swirling slightly while deciding what you’ll drink tonight.

“What can I get you?”

“A beer for me and…”

“A shot of vodka and a glass of wine, please.”

“Going hard tonight?” Jin laughs, but he prepares your drinks without much judgement.

“It’s a party, isn’t it?”

“Of course. Enjoy yourselves,” he winks, setting down the drinks before heading off to serve another customer.

“You planning on getting smashed?” Yoongi asks, right before taking his first sip.

“Maybe. We’ll see.”

“Just talk to him.”

You give him a silent glare, throwing your head back as the vodka disappears before you know it. When you get home, you’ll definitely need to cut back on the alcohol—it’s gotten out of hand, and you know it.

“Maybe you don’t want answers.“

„Maybe.“ 

„You coming over?” Yoongi nods towards the group of friends, Jungkook standing with them next to Hara but with his eyes locked on you, watching intensely as you turn.

You can’t look away, not when he’s hypnotising you the way only he can, making you feel exposed to the core, even from across the room.

“No, I’ll come over in a bit.”

“Suit yourself.”

And with that, Yoongi’s gone, pushing through the crowd while you turn back to the bar, watching Jin and Jimin work, taking gulps of wine one after the other, just as soon as you set the glass down.

You can’t help but take occasional peeks over your shoulder at the others, always laughing and having a good time. But every time, Jungkook’s eyes are already locked on you, refusing to look away even when you catch him staring. His confidence is bold, and he’s never been shy about it—or anything, really—which only stirs the fire inside you, the one only he could ever ignite.

After your second glass of wine, your mind wanders to fantasies that can only come true in your dreams. What if he’s not with Hara? If he’s not the baby daddy? Would there still be a chance for you? Would you be enough?

What if you are? What if everything goes back to how it once was? Would you be happy? Of course you would, how could you not. Even the toughest days spent with Jungkook aren’t as hard as being without him. You’d take fighting with him over being apart from him any day.

But the fact that you’ve been sitting here for what feels like hours, and no one has even attempted to make a move on you, destroys your pride even more. Maybe you’re just not desirable enough, and Jungkook, being the peak of human perfection, would see it that way too.

When he joins you at the bar after some time, you don’t even need to look to know it’s Jungkook standing beside you, leaning on the counter—his unique fragrance mixed with his scent gives him away instantly.

“A whiskey, please,” he calls over the music to the barman, Jimin and Jin by now replaced by two unfamiliar faces.

“Didn’t know you drink during the week.”

Jungkook’s jaw ticks ever so slightly, his head hanging low as his fringe hides his eyes.

“Can’t I enjoy myself too?”

“Go ahead, enjoy yourself as much as you like.” You can’t help the bitter tone in your voice, hoping he didn’t catch it, but Jungkook noticed.

When he’s handed his drink, he turns to you, and you can’t help but take him in. It’s instinct at this point, letting your eyes shamelessly stray over his build and features, though he’s just the same.

“You look like you’re doing just fine without me.” Ouch.

“Maybe you do too.” You try to safe face.

There’s silence now as Jungkook takes a sip of his whiskey, his darkened eyes flickering over your face as if trying to make sense of you.

But eventually, he just shakes his head. “Having to learn how to live without you is a lesson I never wanted to learn.”

He’s gone as quickly as he appeared, and you’re left alone again. You can’t spend the whole evening like a fucking loner at the bar, so you order another glass, and once it’s handed to you, you get up and head towards the others.

Just like the rest of the night, they’re loudly chatting and laughing away, now joined by Jin, who’s massaging Hara’s shoulders, and Jimin, who’s clearly annoying the hell out of Yoongi.

“___!” Tae shouts over the heads of the others, bulldozing towards you as you stand beside Jungkook, throwing himself over your shoulders.

The hug mends your broken heart just a little, and you regret not coming over sooner, realising you were once again stuck in your head, missing out on the easy fun that was waiting for you.

“Tae, hi!” You feel a bit of wetness on your back, probably from the drink Tae’s holding, but you don’t let it bother you, knowing it’ll dry in no time with the heat surrounding you.

“You left so quickly this morning,” Hara pouts, and guilt washes over you instantly.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve got a sensitive stomach and…well, you know…”

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s fine! Nothing you could’ve done,” you laugh, trying to brush off the awkwardness.

The chatter picks up again, and you’re relieved no one mentions you keeping your distance until now. Everyone seems pretty laid back, happy to let people take space if they need it. Well, everyone except Jungkook, who’s stepped a little away from you and closer to Hara.

It stings a bit—well, a lot—but you try to keep the tight-lipped smile intact, tuning into the conversations around you over the music.

“You ready?” Jin grins over Hara’s head at Jungkook, who shifts uncomfortably.

“Do I have to?”

“Course you do! It’s tradition at this point,” Hope laughs, and even though you have no idea what they’re talking about, his bright laughter makes you giggle too.

Jungkook still looks unsure, but when Hara nudges him, leaning away from Jin to whisper something in his ear while squeezing his bicep, he nods and hands his drink to Jimin, prompting cheers from everyone but you and Yoongi.

“What the fuck?” Yoongi mouths at you, and you just shrug, just as clueless.

“Here goes nothing,” Jungkook mutters, and as he and Jin make their way to the stage—Tae giving them both a hard slap on the ass—your own nerves start to flare up.

Hara stands right beside you, pulling you into a side hug. “I’m so proud of him.”

You don’t bother asking why; your question will be answered any minute now.

“Hello everyone! Thanks for coming tonight! And like every year, let’s kick off the real party with our babystarcandy!” Jin shouts into the mic, tossing paper hearts into the air as Jungkook grabs a guitar from the side, slinging the strap over his shoulder and stepping up to the mic Jin just left.

The room erupts into the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard, with Hara screeching the loudest. Jungkook glances at her bashfully with a small smirk.

“Hey, everyone.”

More deafening cheers follow, and you swear you see a black bra flying through the air towards the stage, though you’re not sure—your alcohol-hazed vision could be playing tricks on you at this point. 

“What do you want to hear first?” Jungkook’s smooth voice reverberates through the room, and you realise he’s made for the stage. You’ve never seen him like this before.

The crowd shouts random song titles you’ve never heard before, but the loudest—and from Hara—is a request for a song called ‘Guillotine,’ one you’ve too never heard of. Jungkook locks eyes with her again and simply nods with cheeks dusted pink and a small smile.

“Alright, this one’s for someone special.”

As the first chords flow from his guitar, his tattooed fingers gliding effortlessly over the strings, eyes closed as if he’s pouring his soul into the song, the entire room falls silent.

“Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest, just breathe.”

You gulp, not just because his voice is beautiful beyond words, but because when you glance at Hara, you see her with glassy eyes, softly mouthing the lyrics. You feel yourself starting to break. The words rain down on you, pulling you under, making it hard to breathe without gasping.

“I will stay, so the lantern in your heart won’t fade.”

This can’t be happening. It really can’t. Jungkook’s found the true love of his life, and it’s not you. You were never meant to be—just a prototype, an example for the perfect candidate, but only a candidate. 

It’s her.

Tears well up in your eyes, though for entirely different reasons than Hara, who’s now curled into Jin’s side, still singing along, cheering for Jungkook, who keeps glancing in her direction with that same soft smirk.

“I know that you love me, love me, even if I lose my head.”

And as the whole room joins in, singing, clapping, and cheering, you silently crash. Splintering into a thousand pieces, never to be put back together. Your wine glass slips from your hand and shatters on the floor, but the sound is drowned out by Jungkook’s guitar. Still, Yoongi and Namjoon notice. They see you gasping for air, breaking, spiralling, and finally turning to flee from the hell that you’re forced to see.

You push through the crowd, head down, trying to block out the sound of Jungkook’s voice, but it’s everywhere, even as you burst outside and run towards the hostel. It’s still there, screaming in your head, with no way to drown it out.

01 • masterlist • 03

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[tarot-by-tabitha]

Who’s Secretly Crushing on You?

Hey everyone 💖! In today’s pick-a-pile reading, you're going to get to know Who’s secretly crushing on you? Whether it's someone you've noticed or someone who's been admiring you from afar, this reading will uncover all the hidden feelings, their intentions, and what might happen between you two 💫

For this reading, I’m using tarot cards, Lenormand, Wild Unknown Archetypes Oracle, Romance Angels, and Angel Answers.

How can you choose your pile accurately?

1. Pick a pile: take a deep breath, relax and choose a picture that calls out to you the most.

2. Once you’ve picked your pile, scroll down to your reading🫶

I also really appreciated feedback!

Please note: this pick a card reading is a collective reading. While the insights may resonate, please take the reading with a grain of salt and always trust your own judgement when making decisions 💫

✨If you like my readings you can tip me here or paypal.me/TabithaSky13

Want a more personalised and in depth reading? 🔮 You can find it here

PILE 1

Cards: The Temple, The River, 9 of cups rx, Romantic Feelings, 2 of Swords, Skythe, In the near future, The empress rx

Who’s this person? I’m seeing that for pile 1, your secret admirer is someone who’s reflective, they also could be a spiritual person. They come off as calm, introspective and thoughtful. They have been through some emotional ups and downs but know they’re more grounded and wise. They value deeper connections and that’s part of what attracts them to you. They’re the type to listen more than speak. When in social settings, they like to observe more than participating. I’m seeing that they also enjoy spending time alone, they might also like to go to cafe and just sit there alone probably reading or just simply working. They prefer meaningful conversations rather than small talks. They could have a Pisces, cancer or libra in big 3. Could also have Virgo and Taurus in their big 6.

How do they feel about you? This person really likes you but they feel insecure whether you feel the same way about you or not. They’re not so confident yet to act on their feelings. They just like to admire you from far but doesn’t feel like confessing their feelings just yet. What I’m feeling here, they’re worried about getting rejected or their feelings won’t be reciprocated. This might be someone that barely talks to you, even if they talk to you it’s only about something important, say that you’re classmates/work colleagues, they would only talk to you when you guys are in the same group projects or if there’s tasks that involves both of you.

What’s their intention? I’m feeling a real and genuine feelings here, it’s not just simply a crush that change every now and then. They want to explore where this could go. This person thinks about you more often that you realise and they’re curious if there’s future for both of you. They want to take the next step but they’re unsure how to approach it without seem like they’re a creep or without ruining your connection with them. I’m seeing also in the future they might text you random things to start a conversation or inviting you to hang out with his friends group. They want to test to see if they’re mutual interest without being too forward.

Why haven’t they confessed yet? They feel conflicted. They feel lots of indecision. On one hand, they want to tell you how they feel but on the other hand, they’re afraid to risk changing the dynamic between you two and unsure about your feelings. They may wanted to send you a text before but cancelled it, they didn’t have quite the courage yet to make a move. Sometimes they feel like making plans with you but back out at last minute😅

What’s attracting them to you? They love your straightforwardness. You are not the type to beat around the bush and they find it refreshing. You seem like someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to chase after it. They like your sharpness, the way you talk, your sense of humor. You’re maybe they type to speak your mind and they noticed this. They might have seen you expressing your opinions confidently. They love that you don’t like to pretend to be someone you’re not.

Will they confess their feelings? I got a “In the near future”. There’s good possibility that they’ll tell you how they feel soon. They have hold it back for quite a while and they feel that the timing start to feel right. Something will push them to stop overthinking and just go for it. I’m seeing a scene where you guys are hanging out with them and they finally get the courage to say something like “I’ve been wanting to tell you something…” or they could also be sliding into your DMs and confessing their feelings after a late night conversation.

What will happen between two of you? At first , it might not happen as smoothly as you’d expect. Maybe the timing is off or one of you could have personal stuff to deal with before fully entering this relationship. It might not develop right away but with time, it could develop into something more. You guys will start things little awkwardly it eventually you guys will become more comfortable with each other with time.

PILE 2

Cards: The Mystic, The Ocean, The Stars, Passion, Ace of Pentacles, Cloud, Opportunity, 5 of Swords

Who’s crushing on you? I’m seeing that this is a person with deep and mysterious aura. They have rich inner world, like to spend time contemplating, kinda similar to pile 1 person. Your secret admirer have creative and artistic side. Some of them likes to paint or graphic designing. Some of them likes to sing and write songs. They’re someone who enjoys nature especially ocean, they love to meditate too. They love writing as well. Might also play some musical instruments too. They’re kind of reserved but they’re very emotionally intense actually. They might not talk much in group settings but when they do it’s something meaningful. Some of them are also into astrology and occults.

They could have Pisces , scorpio or Aquarius in their big 3. Some earth signs in their chart too.

How do they feel about you? They feel overwhelming admiration towards you. They feel hope when they think about you. You light up their world and make them feel inspired. Whenever they’re around you they feel more optimistic, you light a positivity in their life. You make them feel uplifted and they feel sense of longing to be closer to you. They might admire your confidence and beauty too, your ability to always remain positive as well. They’re fantasising how it would be like to be closer to you as they feel that you’re a bit out of their league.

What are their intentions? They’re interested to explore romantic relationship with you. They have strong feelings and want to let their emotions flow. It’s not just a fleeting crush, there is passion there. They want to see where things can go between you two . I’m seeing that in the future they’ll want to ask you out or spend more time with you , they’ll likely show their excitement more. They’re not into shallow connections and want to build something deeper.

Why haven’t they confessed? I’m seeing that they’re still waiting for the right time. They’re the kind of person who wants to be sure they can offer something stable and long lasting first. They could be working on themselves first for now, could be financially, emotionally. They might be still focused in getting their life in order first , making sure they have good job and feeling more secure before confessing, they don’t want to rush in and offer something half hearted. I’m seeing for some of you, this person could just be getting in a new job, so they want to be secured first as they want to be able to provide for you.

What attracts them to you? They’re attracted to your complexity. You’re not someone easy to figure out and that’s appealing to them. You have layers to your personality. Your depth, your mystery, it makes them keep thinking about you and wanting to know more about you. They are drawn to how you’re a little unpredictable. It could be how you handle situations or how you carry yourself. They’ve seen moments where you show different sides of yourself and it makes them more curious.

Will they confess their feelings? There’s good chance they’ll confess but they’re waiting for perfect opportunity. When the timing is right they’ll open up about how they feel, they’re not the type to be rushing things, they’re patient and want to make sure everything is perfect before making their move. When they’re about to confess, you’ll notice how they tried to get closer to you, starting dropping hints about their feelings, could be sending poets to you, or becoming more flirtatious. When you least expect it, this person will reveal how they feel.

What will happen between you two? There might be some challenges ahead. There’s possibility of misunderstandings or external pressures that could create tension between you, it doesn’t mean things are doomed though. You’ll just need to make it through disagreements carefully and stay open in communication. There could be some hesitation/baggage from past relationships that cause friction or perhaps you both have different expectations, you might need to clear some misunderstandings before move things forward.

PILE 3

Cards: Thanatos, The Thread, 5 of Wands, Worth Waiting For, Ace of Wands rx, Fox, Yes!, The High Priestess

Who’s this person? I’m seeing a person who has gone through some significant challenges in life , perhaps they faced loss or major life transitions. They had to grow through difficult experiences and now are a stronger person. They might seem serious or deep because what they had to deal in the past. They also believe that everything in life is connected, they feel like their feeling for you has more meaning like there’s fate to why he has feeling to you.

In the past he lost someone close to them or could be went through breakup and it changed them. They’re not the type to show their emotions outwardly. They also believe the idea that people come into our lives for a reason.

They might be a Scorpio, Capricorn, Aries or Leo.

How do they feel about you? They feel conflicted. They’re attracted to you but at the same time they’re unsure on how to approach you. They feel like there’s inner tension, like they feel they have to compete to get your attention. They could also think that you’re interested in someone else. They feel a bit jealous or insecure because you could be having a friend who’s close to you and they feel like both of you have something more between you two. They want to confess their feelings but not sure how to compete for your attention or how to make themselves stand out.

What are their intentions? They want to wait for the right moment. They believe that timing is everything and they don’t want to rush things. They feel that if they’re patient, everything will work out between you two. They believe that you’re worth waiting for. They’re not the type to confess feelings right away. Maybe they’re waiting until you’re single or you’re not in talking stage with someone else. They believe that a relationship will happen naturally.

Why haven’t they confessed? I’m seeing that they lack the confidence to confess. Could be fear of rejection. They’re holding back because they feel now is not the right time as I said before they could be thinking you’re interested in someone else. They’re waiting for a “spark” or some sign that give them the green light.

What attracts them to you? They’re attracted to your cleverness and quick thinking. They admire you as someone who’s always a step ahead and how you handle situations intelligently. You’re also not easily fooled and they find your sharpness attractive. You always have smart solutions to problems and they noticed it. You might be the person who people turn to for advice , and your secret admirer love how sharp and quick witted you are.

Will they confess their feelings? Yes, they’ll confess at some point. But it might take the, some time to build up the courage but the answer is clear, they won’t keep their feelings a secret forever. Don’t be surprised if they start dropping hints soon or trying to spend more time with you.

What will happen between you two? Future between you two is still kind of a mystery. There’s a sense of strong connection but things might unfold slowly. This isn’t something that will happen overnight but with patience, after some times it could develop into something more. It will start with subtle and small gestures and you guys will become friends first before they’ll take more steps.

PILE 4

Cards: The Heart, The Riddle, The Lovers, Playfulness, 5 of Wands, Birds/Owl, Within the next few months, The Magician

Who is this person? This is someone with a lot to give. Your secret admirer is someone that’s not always easy to figure out. They’re kind hearted and compassionate but they have mysterious side of them. They might not always show their true emotions or intentions right away. It takes times to truly understand the, but at the core they have lots of love to give.

They might be someone you know who’s kind and caring but they like to keep things to themselves. They’re kind of hard to read or maybe have a complicated personality but deep down they have strong feelings for you.

They could be a Gemini, Libra, Pisces, Scorpio or have these signs on their chart.

How do they feel about you? I see that they have deep and romantic feelings for you. They might see you as someone they can have serious relationship with. They see you more than just a fling or casual interest. They feel that you could be someone they have a deep bond with. They might also dream about being in committed relationship with you.

What are their intentions? They want to bring fun and lightheartedness into your life. They might not be the type to jump into something serious right away. They want to enjoy getting to know you and making memories together first. I’m seeing this person trying to make you laugh, cracking jokes and teasing you and them taking you out for hangouts. They’re interested in you but they feel like they want to be friend with you first as they feel relationship should be based on friendship.

Why haven’t they confessed yet? I feel like they’ve noticed that other people are also interested in you and not sure if they can compete just yet. They don’t want to complicate things or start drama and just want to play it safe right now. They also feel that you guys are not that close yet for him to confess.

What attracts them to you? They love how you communicate. Your intelligence, the way you speak, how you express yourself, they find it incredibly attractive. They’re drawn to your wisdom, how you think and how you can hold deep conversations. I see that they’ve heard you speak passionately about something and they admire how you always know right thing to say. Your ability to connect with people is something that they really appreciate.

Will they confess their feeling? There’s good chance they’ll confess their feelings in the next few months. It won’t happen immediately but it’s on their mind and they’re working towards making a move.

What will happen between you two? I’m seeing something magical happen between you two. The future is in your hands and you have power to develop this connection into whatever you want it to be. If you’re open to it, you could develop this relationship into either close friendship or romantic relationship. I’m seeing that this person is open to both as they’re happy whatever connection they’ll have with you.

PILE 5

Cards: The Tear, The Destroyer, Strength, Soulmate, King of Swords, Rider, Be Assertive!, Ace of Chalices

Who is this person? I’m seeing a person who has been through some emotional pain and might still be dealing with it. They may be carrying past wounds and it makes them seem a bit guarded and distant at times. They’re in the phase of rebuilding themselves after something in their life happened. They don’t shy away from difficult emotions but they can sometimes get overwhelmed by them. They’re likely emotional but they don’t really like to show it. You might notice that this person are sometimes withdrawn or contemplative.

They could be a Aquarius, Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn or have these signs on their big 6. I’m seeing some Leo too.

How do they feel about you? They admire your inner strength and the way you handle life’s ups and downs. You bring sense of calm and stability and they see you as someone who’s emotionally strong and reliable. Even though they’re dealing with their own emotional turmoil, they feel like they can find comfort in your presence. They feel that you’re supportive and calm. Your confidence and resilience attracts the, and they feel strong sense of respect for you.

What are their intentions? They feel a strong connection with you and belive that you could be their soulmate, but I’m sensing something that you should be careful about regarding this person. They might be not showing everything. There could be some emotional baggage or hidden intentions that they don’t reveal that could cause problems (some red flags about this person ).

Why haven’t they confessed yet? They’re trying to stay logical and overthinking the situation. They have a fear that if they confess now, they’ll lose control over the situation or make them seem vulnerable which is something they’re uncomfortable with.

I’m seeing that this person is a bit stoic and trying to protect themselves from being hurt again.

What attracts them to you? They’re attracted to your energy and your forward moving attitude. You come across to them as someone who’s always on the go and have sense of adventure or excitement about life. They admire how you take action and are not afraid to pursue what you want. You might be type of person who’s always tryin new things or simply living with life with sense of excitement and that attracts the, because they see you as someone who bring positive energy into their world.

Will they confess their feeling? They’ll but it will take tome. This is not the kind of person who rush into things but eventually they’ll muster up the courage to confess their feelings. They’re likely careful and methodical when it comes to expressing their emotions or feelings.

What will happen between you two? There’s strong potential for new romantic beginning. If they do open up, this connection could be very fulfilling emotionally. If you do want to pursue relationship/friendship with this person it will be filled with love , care and genuine connection. It’ll be a very nurturing and supportive connection. This person, if they decide to let their guard down is likely to be someone who’ll be very emotionally available and want to make lasting connection with you.

PILE 6

Cards: The One, The Hunter, 2 of Chalices, Very Soon, The Stars, Dog, Listen to your Intuition, 6 of Wands

Who’s this person? They’re a focused and determined person. They know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. They’re someone who sets their sights on goals and pursue it relentlessly. They see you as “the one” and been thinking about you for a while and observing you from a distance. They have a single minded focus when it comes to their ambitions and you’re currently at the center of their thoughts.

They’re a persistent individual. They could be intense in their actions and a natural leader and also a go getter. They’re not the type to give up easily and people see them as very driven. They re protective and caring towards people important in their life.

They could be an Aries, Capricorn, Aquarius, Cancer, Pisces or have these signs or their chart.

How do they feel about you? They feel strong emotional connection with you and they see you as someone who complements them well. They feel like you and they would make a great match and they want to get closer to you. They feel like you are someone who is their equal, they see you as someone they can rely on. I’m feeling a vibe of 2 good friends. This could also be a person who’s close to you.

What are their intentions? They’re planning to make a move soon. They’re currently weighing their options and close to making a decision about how to approach you. They want to be clear about their intentions. They are decisive and know what they want but they’re cautious about choosing the right moment.

Why haven’t they confessed yet? They’re still waiting for right opportunity or hoping for some sign or clearer indication from you before they make a move. They may feel that this connection is destined. They may be a bit of a dreamer and believe in things like fate and destiny.

What attracts them to you? They’re attracted to your loyalty and dependability, they see that you are genuine and reliable. Someone that they can count on no matter what. They may also be attracted to your kindness and how you treat others. You’re always there for others ans they admire you for it. Your ability to stand by people you care about make you very appealing to them. They also appreciate your generosity and warm hearted nature.

Will they confess their feelings? They’re likely someone who values connection on deeper level and might wait for a time when they feel you are more open to receiving their feelings, they’re thoughtful and they might listen to their own intuition to guide them on when to make their move.

What will happen between you two? Things could go very well if they confess their feelings and two of you may end up in a happy relationship/friendship. This could be a relationship that both of you feel proud. This will be a connection that’s filled with pride, mutual support and achievement. They’re the type who’ll want to celebrate you and your connection. They’ll want everyone to know how much they care about you.

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: FELIX X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: FAE!FELIX, HUMAN!READER, BREEDING, FORBIDDEN LOVE, MARKING, UNPROTECTED SEX, CREAMPIE, IMPLIED PREVIOUS ROUNDS, THEYRE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR, MENTION PREGNANCY/KIDS ☾ ━━━ WC: 0.6K ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     Felix knew not to cross the veil between the fae and human realm. It was an unspoken rule among the fae folk. And as far as they knew, humans knew nothing about them. Still, Felix managed to sneak over and meet Y/n. Falling in love with the human. 

     No other fae seemed to notice his outings. Outings where he was gone for days at a time and everything was normal when he came back. Sometimes sneaking Y/n back with him. Hiding her in her his country side home. 

     “You should stay here,” Felix mentioned as they laid in his bed, kissing her neck as his fingers danced on her skin. Both just having woken up after they were up all night. 

     “I wish I could,” Y/n sighed as she ran her fingers through his long blonde hair. 

     “I could go to the human realm with you. Stay with you there,” He offered as he lifted his head from her neck 

     “If one of us has to move, I’d want to move here. I like the faerie realm more than my own,” Y/n told him. 

     “Then stay,” Felix giggled

     “What if someone finds out i'm here? What if they send me back—“

     “I have friends that know magic. You’ll adapt overtime but if we need it quicker, I can ask.”

     “How?”

     “Changelings adapt to look like us. We have spells to help.”

     “You’ve thought this all out,” Y/n teased 

     “Everything for you. I want you forever.”

     Felix smiled as he intertwined their fingers and pressed them into the pillow 

     “I want you forever too.” 

     The fae pressed his lips to hers which Y/n happily responded to the kiss and wrapped her legs around his hips. Pulling him closer to her. “Didn’t get enough of me last night?” Felix teased

     “I never have enough of you,” Y/n responded 

     “Guess I’ll just never pull out of you again.”

     “You’ve never needed to.”

     Felix pulled one of his hands out of hers and grabbed the base of his cock. Pumping himself a few times and pressing his tip to her entrance. Gently pushing into her as she grabbed the back of his neck with her free hand. 

     “I love you,” Felix mumbled into her mouth 

     “I love you too,” Y/n moaned as he filled her with his cock. 

     Felix smiled as he started thrusting into his human lover. Lips wandering from hers and down to her neck. Letting her moans fill his bedroom— their bedroom.

     “Lix,” Y/n moaned 

     “Mm. I’ll never grow tired of you moaning my name,” Felix groaned as his pace picked up. Listening to her moans pick up too.

     “Need,” Y/n gasped as his tip hit right on that precious spot inside her

     “What do you need? Tell me love.”

     “You. Need you to cum in me. Please lix!”

     “Want me to fill you up? Bare my children for me?”

     “Yes! Please! Wanna have your —“ her pleas are cut off as he hit the spot again. Felix adjusted himself and aimed for the spot again and again. Effectively turning his lover into mush as she shook under him. Her essence covering his cock. 

     The fae moaned as she clenched around him tight. Pulling him in deeper till he was buried in her, cum filling her womb. Adding to the mix from last night when she begged for the same thing. 

     Felix pulled his softening cock out of her once he came back down to reality. Laying next to her and pulling her onto his chest. “‘M never letting you go,” he mumbled into the top of her head

     “‘m never leaving you.”

☾ ━━━━━━ KINKTOBER M. LIST     M.LIST    TIP JAR

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[sashaisready]

Starting Over: Chapter 5 - Better

Mob!Bucky x Female Reader

Series Masterlist

When Bucky throws you out of the house for a betrayal and won't listen to your side of the story, you know the only way out is through - it's time to start over. Maybe this was never going to be your happy ending.

Hi! I'm sorry this took so long, work has been kicking my bum lately and I haven't had much writing time. But it's here - the final part! I hope you like it. Thanks to everyone who has reblogged/commented/engaged with this story - it means so much. Thank-you!!

💔

One week later…

You were cleaning tables when you glanced at the diner’s clock and realised it was almost 9am. Friday was here once again…

…Would he be in as usual?

It was raining heavily outside, throughout the early shift your regulars had rushed in and shaken the sogginess off their coats and umbrellas once they were safely over the threshold of the diner. You’d chatted with them, commiserating with them about ‘this damn weather’ and promising to warm them up with coffee and breakfast.

You’d spent your time off this last week popping into the hospital to see Lou. He was doing well, making progress, but the road to recovery was long. He needed to make major adjustments to his lifestyle and potentially engage in physical therapy as they think he’d also had a small stroke. He got his personal mail delivered to the diner and asked you to open it and keep him updated with anything pressing. The medical bills you’d seen were already dizzying and his insurance only covered part of it, but you couldn’t bother him what that just yet – he didn’t need the stress on top of everything else. You’d figure it out. You always did.

Lou had made you acting manager to pick up the slack while he was gone. You were pulling extra hours, working overtime to ensure the ship remained afloat while the captain remained on the shore. It was tough, but you couldn’t deny you loved the buzz of being in charge – of keeping everything moving.

You hadn’t seen Bucky since that night at the hospital. He’d insisted on driving you home after you’d said goodbye to Lou, ignoring your protests that the subway was perfectly fine…

“The subway, doll? Fuck no. Not on my watch”.

You’d rolled your eyes, knowing you didn’t have the energy to fight him after the evening you’d had. He knew it too. You’d merely sighed and hopped into the back of his SUV as you gave him your new address, giving a little wave to Clint who was driving.

The two of you sat in the back in silence for the entire journey, you watched the city flying past you from the window and it felt strange that the outside world was just continuing around you like normal while yours had almost collapsed.

The car rolled to a stop in front of your building, and you turned to Bucky. He seemed to be studying you carefully, concern drawn across his features. Even after all this time and distance, the beauty of his face still took your breath away at times.

“Thank-you…for the ride. For dinner. For showing up…all of it,” you said softly.

He nodded stoically, “always. Look…no matter what happens between us, I’ll always show up for you if you need me. Any time, any place. And Lou is going to be just fine, alright?”

Almost instinctively you found your hand sliding across the leather of the seat towards him. He looked down as your hand moved to find his. You clasped your fingers around his metal digits, the cool sensation against your skin was something you hadn’t felt in a long time. They in turn wrapped around yours and the two of you sat holding hands for a short while. You didn’t speak or look at each other, just both existing in the moment and concentrating on the feeling of your hands entwined. You paused, wanting to say more – but unable to quite find the words.

Eventually you couldn’t bear the strange tension in the air. You gently withdrew your hand and cleared your throat as you shuffled across the seat towards the door.

“Well, thanks again. And for the ride, too”.

“Anytime. Nice building…” he peered out of the window at your apartment block.

“Ah yeah, thanks,” you said proudly.

“You doing okay, living there?” he asked quizzically in his Brooklyn-lilt, his brows furrowed.

“Mm…I mean, it’s not as fancy as your place,” you chuckled, “it’s kinda cramped and small, but it’s cosy and warm. And it’s mine,” you told him with fondness.

He smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “My place was yours too, you know”.

You chewed on your lip, you hadn’t intended it as a slight against him. “I-I know Buck…but…you know what I meant”.

He nodded reluctantly. “Yeah…that’s good. I’m pleased for you, really”. His nose crinkled as he looked at you fondly. It was a little mannerism of his that you’d missed.

You shared a small smile before getting out of the car and heading inside. You couldn’t quite bring yourself to look back at the car, a storm of emotions fighting to escape you. Your fatigue mixed with your anxieties about Lou, confusion about this sudden shift with Bucky now swelling. You could tell from the quiet behind you that the car hadn’t pulled away yet, no doubt waiting until you were safely off the street. You put your key in the door and quickly moved inside.

That was last week. You hadn’t spoken to him since, although you’d wondered if you should reach out. You thought he might’ve been in touch – a text, a call, but nothing. It was nice, he was leaving the ball in your court and not crowding you, respecting the boundaries you’d established. But part of you couldn’t shake the small sense of disappointment that lingered, too.

The fact was you couldn’t deny that something was stirring. Bucky, who you’d long written off and blacklisted for his betrayal, had started to be on your mind more and more. He had crept back into your brain.

You didn’t believe the old adage that time healed all wounds, but it had certainly helped. The space you’d had from him a year on from the incident had allowed you to find yourself again, the parts that you hadn’t realised you’d lost after diving headfirst into your relationship with Bucky. You still felt immense pain when you thought about what happened…but you also thought about how he had been true to his word. He hadn’t tried to force you back, not aggressively pursuing you or trying to talk you round. His weekly mornings at the diner had never felt pointed or manipulative. You believed that he was just happy to have you in his life, like he’d said. You’d since found your own place, started therapy and looked at your own issues, thrown yourself into work. Remembered who you were before you were ‘mob boss girlfriend’. You knew that what had happened with Bucky was not your fault, it wasn’t your job to reflect and change accordingly – that was all his. But still, having the space and time to work on yourself…it was refreshing. One small silver lining on this ugly, black cloud.

You’d also been on a few dates over the last few months. Nothing to write home about. A few nice guys, a few less than nice guys. Nothing had truly sparked for you; nobody had piqued your interest enough to want to really explore more than a few dinners or coffees. Maybe it was because of how things ended with Bucky, or you just hadn’t met someone right for you, or maybe you were just off dating altogether…But it wasn’t something you felt real enthusiasm for at this point. But that was okay. It had been fun to dip your toe back in the dating pool, and you weren’t averse to trying again when the moment was right, or you met the right person.

Unless of course, it was because someone else was on your mind.

Your slow burn friendship with Bucky had crept on you, taken you by surprise. The man who had once broken your heart now had a new place in your life. It was strange, but in some ways, you knew him better than you had when you were together. Despite your previous connection - your conversations had opened territory up you’d never covered together before, previously too caught up in passion and heat to dive as deeply as you had now.

And most importantly, he had shown up for you that night at the hospital, been there for you without you needing to ask. He had brought you dinner and stayed by your side without a word, because he knew you needed not to be alone – needed support. You were touched by his care for you, his willingness to clear his schedule for you at the drop of a hat. It meant a lot. It meant everything. He had intuited how you felt and acted immediately. He was there.

You didn’t know what it meant, if anything. Something had changed, the safe barrier of diner breakfast chats had been crossed. Part of you was panicking – no! Don’t let him get close, not again! Remember what he did! But another part of you had missed him deeply, longed to hold him again and wake up to him each morning. Your thoughts were a spiralling mass of contradictions and conflict, nothing made sense.

You weren’t sure if you could ever truly forgive him for what happened.

But could you try?

Roscoe snapped you out of your thoughts as he passed you the latest batch mail on his way by. You thanked him, flicking through the junk mail until your attention was caught by the hospital logo on one of the envelopes. You winced, tentatively ripping open the paper as you braced yourself for the latest bill.

You cursed under your breath as you unveiled the total figure, a stupid amount of money. You spiralled as it sank in, wondering if Lou would have to sell the diner in order to settle his debt. You knew he didn’t have anywhere near enough in his savings. You thought about all the jobs that could be at stake, including yours, and your heart ached most of all knowing that the restaurant was Lou’s baby. It would break him to give it up.

Maybe you could call them, sort out a payment plan…something?

You tried to calm yourself down, thinking about what your therapist would say about your immediate jump to the worst-case scenario. Relax. You can fix this. Remember your mindfulness exercises. Life would find a way.

The opening of the front door pulled you from your catastrophising. You glanced over, making eye contact with a rather damp Bucky as he entered the diner. He sighed, shaking the rain from his coat as he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“A lovely morning…” he muttered, deadpan.

You smiled, stuffing the hospital bill into your apron pocket and going to grab the coffee jug, “Morning, Buck. Get a little wet?”

“A little,” he gruffed, slotting himself into his usual booth.

You chuckled as you filled up his mug.

“How’s Lou?” he asked, shaking the rain from his hair.

“He’s doing better, thanks for asking. They’ve got a whole treatment plan worked out for him - so that’s positive”.

“Good. Glad to hear. You over here running the show while he’s out?”

“Something like that,” you smiled, then shuffled on your feet as you realised you needed to talk to him. “Bucky, I-”

A loud clatter and exclamation from the kitchen cut you off, causing you both to look over at the disturbance. You sighed with exasperation.

“Ah. Duty calls…I’ll put your order in while I’m in there”.

You rushed off to sort out whatever mess waited for you in the kitchen as Bucky smiled playfully at your annoyance.

He noticed something had fallen out of your apron as you dashed off. A piece of paper. He leaned over to pick it off the floor for you in case you needed it. Before he realised it was private and had a chance to look away, his eyes were immediately drawn to the monstrous sum at the bottom of the page. Ah. He grimaced as he quickly put two and two together, folding the paper neatly and leaving it on the table. He took a sip of his coffee.

You appeared a little while later with his order, sighing heavily as you placed the plate in front of him.

“Sorry about that…Roscoe and Ron were fighting about if the bacon was too crispy, and some trays got caught up in the carnage. Never a dull moment around here…”

You suddenly noticed the paper on the table, your words trailing off as your eyes locked onto it. You snatched it away quickly, shoving it into your apron.

“That’s not…that’s-” you floundered, embarrassed for him to have seen it.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop. You dropped it, so I picked it up and then realised what it was,” he explained softly.

“It’s fine. I’m dealing with it,” you shrugged, desperate to appear nonchalant.

“Sit down, doll”, he said sternly.

You scoffed, “Bucky…I’m busy running a restaurant here…”

He paused, looked up and bellowed across the diner, “Roscoe! Ron! Handle things while your boss takes a break!”

You rolled your eyes, turning to see Roscoe and Ron nodding furiously as they scattered and suddenly started working harder than you’d ever seen them. They had always been afraid of Bucky. You stifled a laugh.

“Problem solved, now sit,” he gestured.

You reluctantly sat down opposite him, “Bucky…”

“We’re gonna talk”.

“I don’t need-”

“No. Let’s do this”, he said sternly.

You folded your arms in front of you, fully aware that you resembled a petulant teenager but not caring enough to stop.

Bucky cleared his throat, taking a sip of his coffee before picking up the letter. “Now, I don’t want to overstep…but I can take care of this you know…”

You shook your head. “No. Thanks for the offer, but no,” you told him firmly.

“Alright. That’s fine. So, Lou has enough to cover it?” he asked, “all of it?”

You nodded a bit too quickly, “mmhmm”.

Bucky caught it immediately, your lie. You noticed the quirk of his brow and the subtle rubbing of his lips together. Damn him.

“Well, that’s a relief,” he sipped his coffee again and ate a few forkfuls of his meal, then wiped his mouth with a napkin and tilted his head quizzically. “Guess it’s all wrapped up, then”.

You nodded again in agreement, but knew he wasn’t done.

He took his time, casually taking a few more bites of his breakfast and sipping his coffee. You knew his relaxed demeanour was a careful façade…you had somehow found yourself at the centre of a famed Bucky Barnes interrogation.

You tried to appear relaxed, as if you had nothing more to add.

“Because…” he started.

Ugh.

“…because, if he didn’t have enough. That would be a problem, wouldn’t it?”

“Mmm. It would. But it’s not…so…”

“Right”, he cut you off. “But if he didn’t – great eggs today by the way – if he didn’t, that would be putting this place at risk, right? All the staff here and their jobs. Your job?”

“Right,” you replied, your voice a little strained.

“And of course Lou himself…he loves this place. It’s his baby. I’m sure he’d be devastated if he had to give it up to pay his medical bills. Especially as the last thing he needs right now is more stress and financial worries on top of his ill health”. He paused again to eat, not even looking up.

You nodded; your eyes now slightly cloudy now.

“Yep…” you said meekly.

He looked up at you, his eyes intensely locked onto yours, gesturing towards you with the fork. He was in full swing now. The diner suddenly felt much hotter, you could feel tiny beads of sweat forming on your forehead and the back of your neck.

“And I hope it would be known, if that was the case of course, that my offer would have no strings attached. Because I could imagine someone might decline it out of pride, or concern that it would have conditions and that person would then be in some sort of debt to me…either financially or emotionally. And if that was the case, I’d want to reassure them that it would only be a friend looking out for a friend, helping because I want to, and I can, and God knows I should do something nice once in a while to even out my moral scales…”

The barrier broke and your tears finally escaped, the stress about Lou and this intimidating bill, and your confusion about how you felt for Bucky, all finally coming to the surface. You cupped your face in your hands as you quietly sobbed.

“I’m sorry, I just…I…”

Bucky moved like lightning, whipping around to your side of the booth as he swung in next to you.

“Hey…hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry,” he said softly, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just wanted to be clear what my offer entailed; but I understand why you’d be reluctant to accept my help”.

He pulled a few napkins from the dispenser and tenderly wiped away your tears.

“It wouldn’t be a loan, doll, and you wouldn’t need to make nice with me to say thanks. You could call me an asshole and dump these eggs on my head, and I’d still pay in full with a smile. There’s no expectation here, no contract – legal or implied”.

You sniffed, looking up at him blearily, “you’d really do all that for me…but…why?”

He paused, then very delicately used his thumb to collect the tears forming at the side of your eye.

“You know why,” he said plainly.

Your heart panged, and you looked down at your hands in your lap, clutching at one of the now-soggy napkins he’d given you. You sniffed again as you regained your composure, suddenly feeling exposed in front of him. The two of you stared at one another for a few moments and you were so desperate to tell him everything, but you couldn’t form the words. You hoped he would elaborate and fill in that gap for you, but he didn’t.

He quietly got up, putting on his coat and placing some bills down on the table to cover his check. He leaned over and kissed you on the crown of your head, then used a finger to tilt your chin up to look at him.

“You don’t have to decide anything now,” he told you as he looked into your eyes, “Think it over. I’ll be back here next week like always”.

He smiled at you, then disappeared out into the street. You heard the roaring of the rain outside as the diner door opened, the little bell above the frame chiming to announce his departure.

You missed him already.

You looked down at the hospital bill in your hands, the total at the bottom practically screaming from the page.

He’d hurt you so badly, you weren’t sure if you could ever fully forgive him for that fateful night. You understood it had been his insecurities, you understood he had lashed out after he thought his worst fears were realised – but that had only even explained his actions, not justified them.

Although…he’d always been there over the last year. Slow and steady, but he’d taken the time to rebuild his relationship with you platonically. He’d let you manage the pace, never tried to force anything more than you were willing to give him.

…and he’d been there for you.

He continued to be there for you.

It wasn’t about the money. He wasn’t trying to pay you off to win favour. He was just trying to be there for you, and this was something he had the power and resources to help you with.

He was your friend.

He loved you. He’d continued to love you…

“Are you back off break, boss?” Roscoe rudely interrupted your train of thought, “Ron said that the fryer-”

You were pulling off your apron before your brain could even catch up with your body.

“Nope,” you shot back, firing out of the booth at full speed as you tossed the apron at him on your way out, “a little longer…”

You left Roscoe gawping in your wake as you sailed through the front door. You yelped in shock as you stepped out into the downpour, you’d forgotten about the mini storm happening beyond the restaurant doors. It was so dark outside it looked more like early evening than the morning hours. You looked down at your immediately soaked uniform, your work shoes flooding as you traipsed through the puddles…

Focus!

You surveyed the street, your eyes catching a brief glimpse of the SUV turning the corner. The instantly recognisable JBB107 plates drawing your focus in the split second before they vanished.

And so you ran.

You sprinted after the SUV waving your arms, shouting for it to stop. A concerned elderly lady asked if you were okay but you sailed on by. You must’ve looked utterly insane.

You rounded the corner and rushed up behind the SUV as it slowed. The back door flew open, and Bucky suddenly appeared out of it, a look of horror on his face as the vehicle pulled over.

“Doll! Jesus Christ, what the- are you okay??” he shouted to you as you approached.

You didn’t answer, just flung yourself inside the car as you desperately tried to catch your breath. Bucky slid across the seat to give you room. The divider screen was up so you couldn’t see the driver. One less person to witness your mortifying display, at least.

“Fuck…you must be freezing,” he muttered as he pulled off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders and leaning over to close the car door behind you.

You were, your teeth chattered. Your hair was wet and matted, your uniform soaked through.

“Bucky…” you said hoarsely as you dripped all over his plush car interior.

“What is it, doll?” he asked, his eyes wide and alarmed, “what’s going on??”

You couldn’t find the words so you acted purely on instinct, you cupped his face and kissed him. Kissed him hard. Kissed him longingly. He caught up quickly and kissed you back, his fingers tangled in your soaking hair. It was desperate, messy. Your teeth clashed and your cheeks bumped. It had been so long that you’d lost each other’s rhythm with this. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. You couldn’t have waited any longer.

He pulled away, gawping at you incredulously as he held your face in his hands.

“Doll…does this mean?”

“Let’s go slow,” you whispered, “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. The effort you’ve put into rebuilding us from the ground up…for being my friend…for never pushing me…for Lou…but I’m not sure I’m ready to jump into this headfirst…whatever this is…”

He nodded, “of course, anything you want”.

“I’m not sure if I can…fully forgive. But I want to try,” you told him softly as you pressed your forehead to his.

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as he sighed. A sigh of long held tension, of relief.

“Thank-you for giving me a chance…I didn’t think you ever would again,” he admitted.

“Yeah…well neither did I,” you laughed,

“What changed your mind?”

“Well…. how you showed up for me with Lou has made me rethink a lot of things. Plus…the money”.

He laughed, “the money? Really? This whole time I just needed to pay you off?”

“No…”, You rolled your eyes, “it was more that you offered, but you didn’t force anything, and you made it clear it was no strings attached. It’s like…you want to help me, but you trust me to make my own decisions and don’t just try and fix it all for me, like you used to. I just…it made me realise how much I’ve missed you. But it’s gotta be different this time…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…like…I want to stay in my apartment. And I want to keep my job,” you said firmly.

He nodded, “yeah. Of course”.

“Maybe I’d move back in with you one day…but I want my space”.

“Okay. You got it,”.

You smiled, “yeah?”

He smiled back at you, the smile that still made you weak at the knees. “Doll? If it means you’re by my side…Of course ‘yeah’. Anything you want. And I have some conditions too…”

“What?” you frowned. “This isn’t exactly a two-way negotiation, Buck…”

“Just…listen. They’re conditions for me. I promise I’m going to trust you entirely, and to communicate you with you properly – not let my emotions get the best of me. I’m a different man to who I was the last time we were together. I know how lucky I am to get this second chance with you. I’m not fucking it up. I'm gonna be...better”.

He spoke earnestly with such conviction that it was almost aggressive. You nodded gently, squeezing his hand. You believed him.

“Alright…well, let’s give it a shot, shall we?”

He grinned, “I can’t believe you’re here…”

“Me neither. But…I’m sorry I’m dripping rainwater all over your car”.

He shrugged. “Fuck the car”.

And then he kissed you again.

Maybe you did believe in happy endings.

THE END

There we have it! I hope you liked where it went. I know some of you didn't think she should ever forgive him and I understand, and I'm sorry if you're disappointed! But in my eyes he had shown her he was willing to change...and she wasn't trying to rush back into anything heavy. Thank you for reading!

If you liked this story, please consider supporting me with my Ko-Fi link 💐

[mephisto-reporting]

Dinner’s Ready

About: After a long and exhausting day filled with chores and responsibilities, the reader finds unexpected comfort and support from someone unexpected Pairing: Reader x Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus (Seperate) Note: Reader and the men are not in a relationship yet but there is an implied mutual attraction.

SYLUS

The day had dragged on, pulling at every ounce of your patience. The Hunters Association had been relentless—meetings, reports, more meetings. You had barely had time to breathe, let alone grab lunch. As much as you wanted to collapse into bed the moment you got home, you knew that wasn’t in the cards tonight. The dishes were piling up, the laundry was overdue, and you still needed to make dinner. Ugh, just the thought made your head spin.

You’d spoken to Sylus earlier in the day, venting about how chaotic everything had been. He’d listened, as he always did, his smooth voice teasing you about biting off more than you could chew. But you hadn’t expected him to really care; Sylus wasn’t the type to coddle, especially not when he knew you could handle yourself.

Yet, as you stopped by the grocery store to grab ingredients, you couldn’t help but think about how nice it would be to have just one thing go your way today. Maybe a nice bowl of pho, something warm and comforting. But making it from scratch? Hell, no. That was not on your agenda for the foreseeable future.

You sighed heavily, picking up the essentials and thinking about the mountain of laundry waiting for you back at the apartment. "Today... I just can't catch a break," you mumbled to yourself, rubbing at your temple as you mentally ticked off your endless to-do list. Would it ever end?

As you rounded the corner to your building, your breath hitched in surprise. Standing casually near the entrance to your apartment complex, leaning against the wall with a faint smirk on his face, was none other than Sylus. His black coat billowed slightly in the evening breeze, and he looked every bit as confident and composed as always. But what surprised you even more was the sight of a bag in his hand, and the fact that he was here, yet again unannounced.

"Sylus? What are you doing here?" you asked, blinking as you approached him.

He pushed off the wall with that lazy grace of his, his smirk widening ever so slightly. "I was in the area, sweetie." he said smoothly, examining his finger nails. "Thought I’d drop by."

You frowned, not entirely convinced. Sylus didn’t just drop by without a reason. Your eyes flickered to the bag in his hand, curiosity bubbling to the surface as you unlocked the door and motioned for him to come inside.

Once inside, you barely had time to put your groceries down before Sylus moved toward the kitchen counter, setting his own bag down. His movements were confident, efficient, as if he’d been here a hundred times before.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you said, watching as he pulled out two bowls, your curiosity growing. “What’s with the bag?”

He glanced over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk. “Just thought you could use a break. Take a seat." he instructed, his voice a little softer than usual.

Too tired to argue, you did as he said, sinking into a chair as he deftly unpacked the contents of the bag. To your utter shock, he began plating two steaming bowls of pho—from your favorite restaurant. The broth, the noodles, the garnishes—it was all there, and it looked perfect.

"How did you know…?" you murmured, eyeing the bowl in disbelief. You hadn’t told anyone about your pho craving.

Sylus glanced at you, a knowing glint in his eye as he placed the bowl in front of you. "Mephisto noticed you were... less than pleasant all day," he said casually. "Figured this would make things better."

Your gaze flicked to the sleek black crow perched on the window, and back to him, your lips parting in surprise. He’d actually noticed. More than that, he’d cared. And in his own subtle, roundabout way, Sylus had made sure to do something about it.

Your tired muscles seemed to relax all at once as you let out a sigh, a genuine smile tugging at your lips for the first time that day. “You have no idea how much better this makes things,” you murmured, feeling the exhaustion from the day begin to melt away. "You didn’t have to do this," you said softly, meeting his gaze. He always went out of his way when it came to you and you often felt guilty for you thought you did not have enough to offer him anything in return. It wasn’t often that Sylus went out of his way for others—his world was one of deals, power, and survival, not tenderness or comfort. But here he was. For you.

Sylus chuckled softly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Oh, I think I do,” He grabbed his own bowl sliding into one of your kitchen chairs with that same self-assured ease."But... you’ve been pushing yourself too hard. Thought I’d step in before you ran yourself into the ground."

You raised an eyebrow, a soft chuckle escaping you. "Oh, and this has nothing to do with you wanting to keep your favorite hunter functional?"

"Maybe…" His eyes held yours for a moment longer before he dug in, motioning to the table. "Now eat before it gets cold."

The two of you sat down, and for a few moments, there was a comfortable silence between you as you savored the meal. The pho was perfect, the warmth of the broth soothing the ache that had settled into your bones. You hadn’t realized just how much you needed this moment of peace.

As you glanced over at Sylus, his usual sharp edges seemed softer somehow. Maybe it was the dim light in the apartment, or the fact that he had gone out of his way to do something kind, something just for you.

“Thanks,” you said, your voice soft, almost shy, as you broke the silence. “This… it really does help.”

Sylus looked at you, his gaze unreadable for a beat before he leaned back in his chair, that familiar smirk playing at his lips again. "I told you, I have my ways."

But beneath the teasing, there was something more in his expression—something that made your heart skip a beat. You didn’t need words to know that he had noticed you in a way others hadn’t, that he saw the little things, the cracks in your armor.

As you finished the meal, the exhaustion you’d carried all day seemed to lift, replaced by a warmth that had nothing to do with the pho. Sylus’s presence, for all his cryptic remarks and unreadable expressions, made you feel... cared for.

Noticing your lingering gaze, Sylus leaned back, crossing his arms with a satisfied smirk. “I do have my moments of brilliance.”

“More like rare moments,” you teased, a playful spark lighting your eyes.

He chuckled, the sound rich and genuine. “I’ll take that as a compliment, kitten. Now, how about we make a habit of this? You can complain about your hectic days, and I’ll bring the pho.”

The warmth between you deepened, the air thick with unspoken feelings and a comforting ease that felt like home. You smiled, savoring not just the delicious meal but the presence of the man beside you. “Deal.”

RAFAYEL

The day had been an absolute disaster. From the moment you woke up, everything felt like it was falling apart—meetings running late, a mountain of reports piling up, and to top it all off, your bike was in the shop for repairs. Taking the train had been a nightmare, delays at every station and a sea of people crammed together. You had been venting to Rafayel all day, pouring out your frustration in messages about the chaos and exhaustion of adulthood. He responded with his usual playful sarcasm, offering snarky comments that somehow managed to make you smile, even on a day like this.

Why does everything have to be so hard? you thought as you finally stepped off the train and made your way out of the station. As you finally exited the station, the cool evening air greeted you, a temporary reprieve from the stifling atmosphere of the train. Just as you were about to lose yourself in another mental rant about your never-ending to-do list, a familiar voice broke through your thoughts.

“Hey, Miss Bodyguard,” Rafayel's teasing voice cut through the air, his tone playful as always. You looked up, startled but undeniably pleased to see him leaning casually against a nearby wall, a smirk on his lips.

“You stalking me now?” you asked, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth despite your exhaustion.

He shrugged, falling into step beside you as you began the walk home. “I wouldn’t call it stalking, especially when you keep giving me live updates about your day. ” he said with a smirk, his eyes gleaming with that mischievous glint you’d come to know so well. “You’ve been complaining about your day since noon. Thought I'd check if you survived.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile that tugged at your lips. "Barely. The train was a nightmare, I’m behind on reports, and now I still have to cook dinner. This day won’t end.”

As the two of you walked, you found yourself venting aloud, unloading all the frustrations of the day onto him. Rafayel listened, his gaze soft yet amused, occasionally tossing in a remark or two that made you laugh despite yourself. He had this way of making even the worst days feel lighter. Once you reached home, you plopped on the couch, continuing your tirade on the pointless meetings instead of actually fighting wanderers.  “Seriously, how does anyone manage all this without completely losing it?” you groaned. “Work, reports, cooking, laundry—it’s never-ending! And now I’ve that I am home, I have to make dinner, and tackle those stupid reports…”

Just as you were about to complain more about your overwhelming workload, the doorbell rang.

"Who's that?" you muttered, confused.

Before you could get up, Rafayel waved a hand dismissively. “I got it. Stay where you are."

You gave him a suspicious look, knowing how he could be, but you let him go anyway. He strolled to the door with that infuriating confidence of his, moving like he owned the place.

A minute later, he returned with a package in hand, his expression smug.

“What did you order?” you asked, still perplexed.

He raised an eyebrow. “Who said it was your package?”

Your confusion deepened, but before you could question him further, Rafayel placed the box on the counter and opened it, revealing two neatly packed containers of chicken alfredo. Your jaw dropped as you stared at the food, your tired brain trying to make sense of what was happening.

“You…” you began, words failing you.

Rafayel glanced over his shoulder, catching your stunned expression with an amused grin. “What? You think I didn’t hear you complaining about adulting all day?”

Without waiting for a response, he plated the pasta, his movements surprisingly smooth and graceful as he brought two steaming plates to the table. He set one in front of you, then sat down across from you, his smirk softening just a fraction. “Figured I’d save you the trouble. You’ve been whining about it so much that even the turtles have heard it all the way across the ocean.”

You stared at the plate in disbelief. His company had already started to ease the tension in your shoulders, but this? This gesture—so thoughtful, so uncharacteristically sweet—had your heart fluttering.

“Raf…” you began, but he waved a hand, dismissing your attempt at gratitude.

“Don’t get all sentimental on me,” he quipped, though the hint of tenderness in his eyes betrayed him. “I needed to eat too, you know! And who knew how long it would take for you to whip something up? Just eat...”

You couldn’t help but laugh, warmth filling your chest as you took a bite of the creamy pasta. The taste was perfect—rich, comforting, exactly what you needed after a day like this. And though he was trying to act like it was no big deal, you could tell this was his way of looking out for you.

“Thanks,” you said softly, catching his gaze.

Rafayel leaned back in his chair, the smirk returning full force. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t get used to it.”

But you could tell—despite the teasing, despite the banter—that he was glad he could make your day a little better. Maybe adulting wasn’t so bad when you had Rafayel by your side…

ZAYNE

As Zayne finished his usual check-up on you, his hands gentle but firm as they performed the routine exam, you couldn’t help but let out a long, tired sigh. It had been a day. Patrolling the city, fighting off wanderers, and then filing reports had left you drained, and the thought of having to go home and make dinner was the last thing you wanted to deal with.

Zayne noticed immediately, his sharp eyes studying you with that calm, steady gaze of his. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone soft but laced with the kind of precision that came naturally to him as a doctor.

You shook your head, brushing it off. “Nothing serious. Just... thinking about my day.” You tried to give him a reassuring smile, but even you could feel how thin it was. “ But it is over now, so that is something to think about, hehe.. ”

He didn’t press you, which you were grateful for. Zayne had always been like that—understanding, patient, and perceptive. Even when you didn’t tell him how you were feeling, he always seemed to just know.

As you gathered your things and prepared to head out, Zayne cleared his throat. “My shift’s over. How about I drop you off at home?”

Surprised, you turned to face him, and for a moment, you considered saying no, but the truth was—it had been a while since you and Zayne had spent any time together outside of these clinical settings. You nodded, grateful for the company. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

The drive was peaceful, the hum of the car and the cool night air lulling you into a more relaxed state. Zayne wasn’t one for unnecessary chatter, which you appreciated. His presence alone was enough to take the edge off your exhaustion.

Without warning, he slowed the car and pulled into the parking lot of a familiar spot—your favorite hot pot restaurant. You blinked, confused but intrigued.

“Hot pot?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Zayne gave a small, knowing smile. “It’ll save us both from having to cook,” he explained, always the practical one. “And on nights like these, something warm and hearty is good for the body. Better circulation, helps relax the muscles after a long day. Plus, it’s my treat since I dragged you here.”

You couldn’t help but laugh softly at how effortlessly he slipped into his medical reasoning, but more than that, you felt your heart warm at the gesture. You hadn’t even vented to him about how drained you were, yet somehow, Zayne had picked up on it and brought you exactly where you needed to be. It was almost too perfect. That was just how he was—quietly thoughtful, always tuned in to what would make your day a little better.

“That’s pretty thoughtful of you,” you said, unable to hide the warmth in your tone. “I could definitely use some hot pot. You know me too well.” You eagerly unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the car.

“I do,” he replied, his smile soft yet confident as the two of you walked into the cozy restaurant. The warmth of the place immediately surrounded you, and it felt like the perfect escape from the long, tiring day.

As you settled into a booth, you couldn’t help but think how lucky you were to have Zayne in your life—someone who understood you without needing you to explain everything. As the two of you were seated inside, ordering your favorite dishes and letting the rich, fragrant broth bubble between you, the conversation flowed easily. Zayne’s calm demeanor was a balm to your tired mind, and his subtle teasing made you laugh more than once.

As the hot pot simmered in front of you, Zayne casually brought up another idea. “There’s a cake shop close to your place. I was thinking we could swing by after. I’ve been meaning to get something sweet.” His love for desserts was well known, and you could already picture the way his eyes would light up at the prospect of picking out his favorite cake.

The suggestion made you smile wider than you had all day. “I’d love that.”

There was something unspoken lingering between you. But in moments like these, with Zayne looking at you with that easy smile and making your long day just a little bit brighter, you could feel it. And you were more than happy to bask in it, even if just for tonight. As you walked out of the restaurant side by side, the chill in the air wasn’t so bad anymore.

XAVIER

You collapsed onto the couch with a long, tired groan, your face buried in a pillow. The mission had been grueling, and now that you were back home, a mountain of chores awaited you—dinner to make, the house to clean, bills to pay. It felt like there was no end in sight, like you couldn’t catch a single break.

For a moment, you let yourself wallow in the exhaustion, silently trying to gather enough mental energy to tackle everything. Maybe if you just lay here long enough, the universe would cut you some slack.

Ding-dong.

The doorbell rang, cutting through your thoughts. You blinked, sitting up slowly. Who could that be right now?

Dragging yourself to the door, you opened it, and standing there was Xavier, his usual easygoing smile softening the weariness that had taken hold of you.

“Hey, mind if I come in?” he asked, his voice low and gentle. You didn’t even need to reply because he lifted his hand, showing you a takeout bag. The familiar logo of your favorite burger joint was printed on it.

Your heart did a little flip, the tension from the day starting to melt away. “Xavier...”

“I figured you had a long day,” he said, stepping inside once you nodded, his tone casual but warm. “Heard from the others that it was pretty rough. And while I can’t promise anything gourmet, I figured burgers, fries, and churros were safe bets. Oh, and drinks too. No cooking necessary.”

The way he effortlessly made you feel seen without even needing to ask, it was just so him. He had this way of knowing exactly what you needed without making a big deal out of it, like he was always quietly observing, thinking of ways to help without making a fuss.

“Thank you,” you murmured, genuinely touched. “This is exactly what I needed.”

As you led him into the living room, Xavier wasted no time setting up the food on your coffee table, all casual like he’d done this a hundred times before. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as he passed you a drink and a burger. It was so thoughtful, so simple yet perfect.

While you ate, the tension from earlier spilled out. “I’ve got so much to do still,” you admitted, venting to him between bites. “The house is a mess, I have to pay the bills, and the trash is piling up. I just... I don’t even know where to start.”

Xavier leaned back against the couch, his eyes focused on you but in that soft, reassuring way he always had. “Why not start tomorrow?” he suggested, his tone light but confident, as if the solution was obvious. “I’ll take the trash out when I leave. The rest? You can handle it later. No point in burning yourself out tonight.”

He stretched an arm casually over the back of the couch, settling in with that relaxed vibe he always carried, but there was a quiet depth in his words. He wasn’t one for grand gestures or dramatic speeches, but in his own way, he was telling you to take it easy, that he had your back.

“Besides,” he added, his lips quirking into a small grin, “I was thinking we could watch a movie. You know, unwind. You’ve earned it.”

You looked at him for a moment, feeling the weight of your day easing with every word. He didn’t push, didn’t force you to agree, but the offer was so tempting. With the food, the company, and the way he was so effortlessly making everything better, it felt like a much-needed lifeline.

“That sounds like a good idea,” you said, smiling softly as you leaned back beside him, the stress of your responsibilities finally taking a back seat. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing deep down you’d end up thanking him for this later.

The unspoken connection between you both lingered in the air, not something you needed to say out loud. It was there, in the way he knew just what you needed, in the comfortable silence that followed as the movie started. You didn’t need words to acknowledge it. It was simply... understood.

And as Xavier settled in next to you, you realized that tonight, the chores could wait. Right now, this was enough.

AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!

[joonieskinks]

you’re dating johnny, but simon has feelings for you (angstyy) ft. simon ghost riley (tw: cheating)

side note: thank you for over 1100 followers! 🎊🥰

It’s been almost three years since you ran into the Scottish jokester at the pub for the first time. He was ever so determined to get you on his arm from the moment he walked in and laid eyes on you. You briefly made eye contact as he looked for spots to sit at the bar, and there you were. Exactly his type and the prettiest lass in the place - meant to be, he always thought. He put on the charms all night and you were hooked, line and sinker.

Johnny was truly one of the most charismatic men you’ve ever met in your life, how could he not be endearing to you? Not to mention that and those strong arms of his, his body, so gorgeous. He was a good man in reality as well as on paper. He scooped you up when he had the chance and you can honestly say you liked him a lot. So, you two started seeing more of each other over time, he asked you to be his girlfriend, to come home and meet his family, meet his friends…

All was good and fine until you got to know Simon.

“And this is my girl, Y/N.” Johnny introduced, holding your hand lovingly, his thumb soothing over your knuckles.

You smiled at the men before you. Easy to approach with John and Kyle, not so easy to do with Simon who said nothing the entire time. Just looked at you, analyzed you seemingly, taking in your every word, move and breath.

You honestly thought he hated you by the end of that first meeting, taking his silence and eyes on you as judgment and hatred. But in reality it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Simon was becoming fond of you, your personality, your heart and your wit. You were utterly endearing to him and he was scared what that meant.

The feelings for him only became more and more apparent the more you went out with Johnny and his boys in the coming weeks, months.

It finally became obvious that day when you were left alone with Simon to bond, the other boys having picked up on his coldness to you. It filled you with anxiety to be left alone to socialize with a man who clearly didn’t want to get to know you, let alone chat. But Johnny, John and Kyle all thought it would be good to ease the tension, get a few rounds going and go from there.

So there you two sat, next to each other at the table, waiting for the other to start speaking first. It was the first time Simon wasn’t looking at you intently.

“Simon,” you started and his eyes immediately darted to yours, unblinking. He rather unnerved you, but you couldn’t look away from those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes. No. Stop.

“Listen, I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, I’m just happy you came out, for Johnny’s sake. I-I appreciate it.”

“I can’t be near you.”

“I- what?” You stared at his unmoving eyes peeking out from that dark mask, glaring back at you. It made him look even more intense, but so captivating.

“You can’t be near me? What? Why?”

“I just can’t, got it?” He starts to shuffle away from you in the booth to get up, going to take his pint with him.

You instinctively reach for his wrist and he waivers. Looking down at your fingers wrapped around his skin, your touch on him. It gives him shivers. It shouldn’t, but it does. You’re so soft and so enticing, this could lead to one hell of an addiction if he doesn’t stop now.

“Simon, please.” You whisper, your eyes looking up at his giant form. Your doe eyes and little furred brow. Everything about you, looking so innocent and pretty even in the shitty bar lighting. He feels hypnotized and utterly envious of what Johnny has. Simon wants to stay here longer with you but his mind and legs aren’t cooperating.

He can’t. Well he could, but he shouldn’t.

“I gotta go.” And he’s slipped from your grasp, his skin left tingling and you feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. You watch him walk out the door and you can’t help but feel this loss.

“Where he’d go?” Johnny asks, rubbing at your back gently. His touch startles you and it makes a wave of guilt rush over you.

“He uh, he said he had to run. Something about an assignment I think.”

“Aye, he’s always overworkin. Don’t mind him” Johnny smiles, giving you a kiss on the cheek before heading to the washroom, leaving you alone in the booth.

You feel the guilt creep up again and you’re clenching your glass tightly.

God, how you wish he were him sometimes.

The night after…

You stepped back just in time for the glass smashed on the floor to miss your feet.

“Johnny, please! I’m so sorry, I never meant for it to turn out this way, I-“

“What, you fuckin my best friend behind my back?”

“Johnny, no. I never fucked him, I would never do that, I-“

“Then what?!” He spits. “You just fell in love with ‘im while yer fuckin me?”

You just stand there, taking in his words and you realize what you’ve done.

Johnny just shakes his head, a small smile on his face appears before it falls.

“That almost makes it worse.”

You close your eyes at the accusation and the tears fall out the sides of your eyes.

Johnny was right. You had done exactly that. You were that person. The guilt felt like it might eat you alive any time now.

After Johnny went to the washroom in the bar, after Simon had stormed out, you had called a night and decided to head home. Johnny, like the gentleman he is, came and waited outside with you for a cab. Only he caught Simon’s eyes as he was departing on his bike. Not only did Johnny insist, Simon accepted too. To take you home, make sure you were safe. Someone he trusted.

So there you sat. Your arms wrapped around his waist. Your legs locked around him. Your chest swelling against his back. He could feel your heat, all of you and it made it nearly impossible to think straight.

He should’ve just left you at your door without a word more.

Not to apologize for the scene earlier.

Not to tell you how beautiful you look.

Not to come so close and touch your cheek.

Not to kiss you softly and tell you how he wants you.

You never should have kissed him back.

You never should have told him you want him too.

But it didn’t stop either of you. You ruined a good thing with Johnny, a good man. And he died a few days later on mission with a broken heart.

How could you ever love Simon after that?

And he you? How could he ever look you in the face again and not see Johnny?

[thatlotuscookie]

You said any fandom so can you do something with Kuroo and a shy reader? Maybe they’ve been friends for a while, but she’s always had a crush on him, and never said anything bcs she assumed he liked another girl since hes really popular? but hes liked her all along and he finally picks up on it? love your work, btw!

✧･ﾟ: a/n : yes anon, I do any fandom! If I don't know one, I just do my research and will do my best to write whatever you guys request. But thank you for the request! I had so much fun, listened to From The Start by Laufey the whole time while writing it LOLL.

✧ Title: ✧ A Quiet Heart, A Loud Confession ✧ ✧ Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou x Fem!Reader ✧ Genre: Fluff, Romance ✧ Rating: T ✧ Summary: You’ve always admired Kuroo from afar, thinking someone like him would never look at someone like you. But little did you know, he’s been watching you too, waiting for the right moment to confess. ✧ Content/Tags: Fluff, Romance, Confession, Mutual Pining, Shy!Reader, Friends to Lovers, Teasing, Comfort ✧ WC: 1169 words // 6.4k chars

You’d always admired Kuroo from a distance.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know him—you did. You were friends, after all. But there was something about the way he carried himself that always made you feel a little… shy. Kuroo Tetsurou, with his effortless charm and his cocky grin, was the kind of person who naturally drew people to him. He was funny, confident, and always seemed so at ease, especially around girls.

Which was why you had always assumed that’s what he wanted—someone who matched his energy. Someone outgoing and bold, not someone like you.

You had a crush on him, though. That much had been painfully obvious to you for a while now, but you never said anything. Why would you? He was Kuroo, and you were just you. Even if he teased you endlessly, making your heart skip beats with every playful comment, you figured that’s all it was—just his usual way of being friendly.

There were always girls around him, laughing at his jokes, clinging to his every word, and you couldn’t help but think… there’s no way he’d look at you the same way. He was popular and well-liked, and you, with your quiet and reserved nature, didn’t stand out. Not the way the other girls did.

So, you stayed silent. It was easier that way.

But what you didn’t realize was that Kuroo had been watching you just as much as you had been watching him.

“(Y/N), you’ve been avoiding me.”

Kuroo’s voice jolted you out of your thoughts, and you glanced up from your seat, only to find him leaning casually against the doorframe of the classroom, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes were fixed on you, the same familiar teasing glint in them that always made your stomach flip.

You swallowed nervously, trying to keep your voice steady. “I-I’m not avoiding you.”

“Oh really?” He raised an eyebrow, pushing off the wall and strolling over to your desk with that signature swagger of his. “Because every time I try to talk to you, you look like you’re ready to run in the opposite direction.”

You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze. How were you supposed to explain that the reason you’d been avoiding him was because you were afraid he’d see right through you? That he’d figure out how much you liked him and laugh it off?

“I’ve just… been busy,” you mumbled, not meeting his eyes.

Kuroo didn’t buy it for a second. He leaned down, placing a hand on your desk and tilting his head to get a better look at your face. His proximity sent your heart racing, and you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

“You’re lying,” he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Come on, what’s going on?”

You bit your lip, feeling cornered. It wasn’t like you could keep dodging him forever. Kuroo was persistent, and he wasn’t going to let this go until he got an answer.

“Nothing’s going on,” you insisted weakly, but the way your voice wavered gave you away.

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed slightly, his teasing demeanor faltering for a moment. He studied your face, his gaze more serious now, as if he was trying to piece something together. Then, after a beat of silence, his eyes softened, and his lips curled into a small, knowing smile.

“…You like me, don’t you?”

Your heart stopped.

It felt like the air had been knocked out of your lungs, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You stared at him, wide-eyed, your mouth opening and closing as you scrambled for a response, but nothing came out. You were completely frozen, your mind spinning in a million directions at once.

Kuroo’s smile grew, and he chuckled softly. “Wow. I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner.”

“I-I don’t…” you stammered, but the words died on your lips when you saw the look in his eyes.

There was no mockery, no teasing. Just warmth. Affection. Like he had just uncovered a secret you had tried so hard to hide, and he wasn’t upset about it. If anything, he looked relieved.

“(Y/N),” he said softly, crouching down so that he was at eye level with you. “You really think I wouldn’t notice? The way you get all flustered whenever I’m around? How you avoid looking at me when I get too close? It’s cute.”

Your face burned with embarrassment, and you could barely bring yourself to look at him. “I… I thought you liked someone else,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Kuroo’s eyes widened slightly, and then he laughed—a warm, genuine sound that made your heart ache in the best way.

“You thought I liked someone else?” He shook his head, his expression softening as he reached out to gently tilt your chin up so that you were looking at him. “(Y/N), I’ve liked you this whole time.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, and you blinked at him in disbelief. “You… what?”

Kuroo’s smile turned a little shy—something you weren’t used to seeing on him. “I’ve been into you for a while now,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just didn’t think you were interested. You’re always so quiet around me… I figured you didn’t like me that way.”

Your heart was racing, your mind still trying to process what he was saying. “But… but you’re always surrounded by other girls, and I just assumed—”

“Those other girls don’t matter,” Kuroo interrupted gently, his hand still resting lightly on your chin. “None of them are you, (Y/N).”

The sincerity in his voice made your heart skip a beat, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to believe it—that maybe, just maybe, Kuroo liked you as much as you liked him.

“You could’ve told me,” he added with a smirk, though his tone was light. “Would’ve saved us both a lot of time.”

You laughed softly, the tension in your chest finally easing as you realized how ridiculous the whole situation was. “I was too scared,” you admitted shyly, your gaze dropping to your hands.

Kuroo’s thumb brushed gently across your cheek, and he smiled. “You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

For a moment, the two of you just looked at each other, the weight of all the unspoken feelings finally lifting. Then, without thinking, Kuroo leaned in, his lips brushing softly against yours in a kiss that was gentle, sweet, and full of all the emotions you had both kept hidden for so long.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath warm against your skin. “So… does this mean you’re finally going to stop avoiding me?” he teased, his voice low and playful.

You smiled, your heart feeling light for the first time in what felt like forever. “Maybe,” you whispered, your fingers gently curling into the fabric of his shirt. “If you promise to stop being so oblivious.”

Kuroo grinned, pressing another soft kiss to your lips. “Deal.”

[planetpedri]

To say hello — Trent Alexander-Arnold.

Pairing: Trent Alexander-Arnold x Fem!Reader

Summary: Seeing your ex was no fun thing, but sitting beside him on a two hour flight was even worse. And you realize, to say ‘hello’ was to allow so much more.

Word count: 2k+

Disclaimer/s: Slight angst , hopeful/happy ending.

A/N: Nobody wants him the way I do.

The first time you’d seen Trent after your breakup was on a flight to Paris. You were nearly late to your plane. Traffic had delayed your planned arrival, then the lines were horrific, and you’d had to run across the whole airport just to get to your gate on time. Luckily, you got in with five minutes to spare.

Quickly finding your first class seat, you scan the rows. 1B.. 2B.. 3B.. oh.

Your heart sunk.

His seemingly did too, all the color draining from his face as he processed just who you were. He choked out your name, his eyes blinking rapidly.

“That’s my seat.” You mumble, motioning to the window seat. There was such a little chance of this ever happening, but of course with your luck it did.

Trent unbuckles and stands from his seat to allow you out of the isle, his eyes staying trained on you the whole time. It’d been well over a year since the two of you had seen each other, so he was simply taking in all your differences.

An hour passed, and neither of you talked. You’d forcefully kept your legs leaning against the side of the plane, your whole body shifting away from him. Trent on the other hand, had played it off as cool as possibly by sitting normally and watching a movie on the screen provided. He couldn’t help the few glances he stole your way, but then again, neither could you.

Eventually, when the food came, you were forced to sit normally, that’s when Trent spoke to you for the first time.

“Hello.” He finally sighs, playing with his food.

“Hey.” You reply, taking a bite to focus on anything but the awkward silence that followed.

Trent glanced your way, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “What are the chances?”

“Trent.” You huff, “i’m trying to eat.” You didn’t even have an appetite. He seemed to have that effect on you. Every time you were reminded of him, you couldn’t eat for hours. Whether it was from the longing to see him again, or the hatred that bubbled within you, you weren’t all too sure.

The Scouser didn’t seem to care, as he continued talking to you for the rest of the flight. Of course, you eventually entertained it, because the more you talked, the less he did. Trent was always a listener, and when he did, he kept his mouth shut.

Finally, the plane landed and you made your hasty escape. Trent didn’t even have a chance to call after you, to say the things he’d been trying to gain the courage to tell you for months. You were gone.

That night, lying in his hotel overlooking the beautiful city of love, Trent couldn’t hold it in. He’d dialed your number, refilling his glass in the process.

You pick up with a low groan, half asleep as you speak. “It’s midnight, Trent. Go to sleep.”

“I miss you, and I know I messed up.” He sighs, not even giving you a moment to process what he was saying before he continues. “I’m sorry.”

There’s shuffling on his end, and you hear the ice clinking into the sides of a glass. Thats when you register the slur in his accent. Annoyance grows within you. These were drunken thoughts, they didn’t mean anything.

“You still have my number saved.” Another beat of silence where he whispers out your name, “say something.”

“You’re drunk. Go to sleep.” You don’t deny it because yes, you did. In the year since your break up, you had failed to get yourself to the point of deleting his existence. You didn’t know why, but the thought of erasing his once meaningful presence was hard to do.

“Good night, Trent.” And with that, you hung up, sinking into your pillow with a soft exhale.

The summer had passed, and in that time you hadn’t heard from Trent again. Clearly, that night in Paris had been nothing but a drunken mistake. A mistake that left you reliving every moment with him. In the three years you’d dated, it had taken three months to relive all your best memories. For three months, he was all you could think about.

Trent hadn’t even attempted to get ahold of you, maybe out of shame, maybe because he simply didn’t care. You were beginning to think rejecting him that night was the worst decision you’d ever made.

Now, driving through the rugged English roads, you couldn’t control the way your fingers slid across your phone’s screen, dialing the number you had engraved into your mind.

It had only dialed for a count of three, before the sleepy hum of your name was heard. “‘Something wrong?” He asks, exhaustion clear in the way he spoke, but alongside it was concern. It was like all those months ago, but the roles had been reversed.

“Hello.” You finally get out, “I miss you, too.”

Trent doesn’t chuckle, he doesn’t sigh, he doesn’t grunt. He does wake up fully, though, sitting up straight in his bed. “Where are you?”

“Uhm, somewhere near fifth and chord? I’m not too sure..”

“Come over?” His voice holds a hint of pleading, and you were weaker than ever.

“Do you still live in the same apartment?” You ask, already turning to make your way there instinctively, assuming he hadn’t moved in the year you’d broken up.

You had imagined the small smile growing on his face as he heard the blinker, you could practically hear it in his voice. “Yeah, you can let yourself in.”

It’s your turn to smile, “do you seriously still leave your key above the door? Trent, how many times do I have to tell you how dangerous that is?”

He’d lied, of course. He just missed that scolding tone in your voice, the one filled with amusement but genuine care.

“I’m joking!” He laughs, “i’ll leave the door unlocked.”

Once you’d reached his apartment, and long since hung up, you give yourself a few moments to think about what you were doing. This was a stupid idea. He was your ex. You weren’t supposed to allow these things to happen.

Opening the door, you hesitantly make your way inside. It was clean, surprisingly. He hadn’t always been this tidy when you were dating, so it was a pleasant surprise. You slip off your shoes and set your purse on one of the hooks.

“Trent?” You call out, walking through the kitchen into the living room, and down the hall toward his bedroom.

He opens the door, his eyes darting across your face as if he was trying to assure himself you were really there. “Hello.” He says softly, opening the door wider to invite you in.

You don’t respond, your skin crawling by simply being in his presence again. Walking into his bedroom, your eyes trace the small changes, other than the lack of your things, it hadn’t changed much. Trailing your fingers across his desk, you pause, eyes finding their way back to his closet.

Your spot there was still untouched. Empty. He hadn’t filled it in with his own clothes, that you knew he needed. Trent had an excess of clothes, he always needed more space, yet he never touched your side.

Your eyes flicker to his, and he seemed to catch what you were thinking. “I didn’t think it’d last this long.” He admits.

Pursing your lips, you nod, although it didn’t make sense. You’d been broken up for well over a year now, so that wasn’t necessarily an excuse.

You found your way to his bed, slowly sitting down on it. Trent watches from afar, still leaning against the wall a few feet from his door. He takes careful note of your every move, every expression.

“So, now what?” You finally ask the question that was weighing on both of your minds as you play with the comforter.

Trent’s quiet, not knowing how far he should push this. “Stay the night, it’s late. We can talk tomorrow.”

Your eyebrow quirks, “no silly shit. Just sleeping.” You point at him accusatorially, which elicits a laugh from the man.

“Wouldn’t dream of pulling any ‘silly shit’.”

“I need pajamas.” You huff, pushing yourself off the bed and wadding towards his closet. “And—“

“Extra toothbrushes are under the sink, along with makeup remover.” He grins, cutting you off.

Rolling your eyes, you take a tee shirt from his closet. “You’ve been waiting for this day. Or, oh lord. Trent, have you been preparing for other girls?” You feign hurt, clasping a hand over your heart.

Trent leans against the doorframe of the walk in closet, grinning down at you, but a hint of sincerity flashes across his face. “I definitely wouldn’t dream of that.”

You try not to let the clear relief show on your face, but you couldn’t stop the twitch of your lips. “Interesting.” You nod, ducking under his arm as you make your way toward the bathroom.

Like a lost puppy, Trent follows you there too. “And you?” He asks, eyebrows lifted curiously.

“Turn around first.” You motion with your finger for him to turn around, which he does so with zero hesitance. While changing into the shirt, you finally answer. “There’s been one guy.”

Despite the ache in his heart, he nods in understanding. “Who?”

“He’s not important. It only lasted a month, if even that.” You shrug, “you can turn around.”

He does so, doing his best not to feel the satisfaction of your words and the fact that you were wearing his clothes, not that other guys. You were still his.

“A month? Only?” He asks smugly, moving toward the sink beside you.

Grabbing the extra toothbrush and makeup remover, you glance at him through his reflection in the mirror. “Unfortunately, he just wasn’t you.” The admission held so much weight, but it was the truth.

“That’s unfortunate… for him.” Trent hums. The bathroom is filled with a comfortable silence as you go about your nightly routine, a familiar feeling forming within you.

How many nights had you two done this exact routine together? How many nights had you felt so completely at home with Trent beside you? How many nights had it not ended it an argument, rather with you laying in his arms as you both fell asleep with nothing but love in your hearts?

With a barren face, you lean against the sink, your hip being the only thing keeping you steady. “Why are we doing this? It’s been a year and a half.”

“Because it’s what’s right.” He answers honestly, “and it was a long time coming.”

You couldn’t argue with that. You’d fallen asleep dreaming about being in his arms once again. There wasn’t a singular time in which you’d wished to be with anyone but Trent.

As the two of you both make your way back to Trent’s bed, you let yourself feel the things you’d denied yourself for so long. A small smile growing on your lips when you climb into the bed and Trent pulls you into his side, tugging the covers over the two of you.

With your head resting in the crook of his neck, you inhale his scent, the smell bringing you back to when everything was perfect between the two of you. This was where you belonged.

It didn’t take long for sleep to consume you, but Trent stayed awake for a little longer. He needed the reassurance that you weren’t going anywhere, that you were here, in his arms, for good.

Then he fell asleep with a smile, and everything was okay again. Because this was what he’d longed for. Despite all the time spent apart, it all seemed worth it as long as you were with him, even if it was only momentary.

You were still his, and he as forever yours.

Likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. Feel free to lmk if you want tagged in any of my posts <3

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[bandgie]

Dolly From the Garden | Ep.4

MASTERLIST | Kink: Overstimulation

🗝 Reality is often cruel, much like the thorns you pick from the abandoned garden. The man who lives on the other side of the hill decides to pay you another visit, but this time, he brings gifts.

6.3k words

warnings! MDNI 18+, fem!reader, reader is a bit of a dom/mean with han, finger sucking (m!), cowgirl, mating press, PIV, no protection, sex outside, cumming on tits, pussy eating/play, multiple orgasms (f!), face riding (m!rec), hair pulling (m!rec)

notes! chat, I did not mean to make it this long 😔 we're getting near the end so there will be a bunch of info dumping sorryyy. is the smut as good as I wanted it to be? you tell me.

It’s been a while since you’ve had a nightmare. Not the kind where you wake up scared or in a cold sweat, but when the dread of your dream sits in your stomach. 

Something isn’t right.

Trying to shake off the feeling is harder than you thought. Even when kissing Chan and Changbin goodbye, you watch almost mournfully at the front door. The car engine runs and they soon drive off to the studio.

You wish they didn’t leave. Maybe if you kissed them harder and held onto them a little together, they wouldn’t have left you alone in the apartment. Each groan and crack of the old building sounds like laughter, mocking you in a way that feels silly and shameful.

You need to get out. 

You planned to clean the garden. The sky might not be the bluest, but you almost find relief in the dull colors. The sun is covered by clouds, which would be gloomy in any other instance, but cools down the sweat dripping down your back.

Pull by pull. Weed by weed, you tug the plant from its roots.You’re not wearing any gardening gloves, but the dull pain of thorns helps your mind from wandering to your nightmare. The black cat. The blue eyes. His warnings.

If you come back here again, we won’t let you leave.

But they can’t keep you hostage in a dream. All you have to do is open your eyes and be back at home with Chris and Changbin, safe and sound. You’re the one dreaming about these guys. You're making them up in your head because you can’t keep it in your pants. The thought of them being real, of everything being real, that’s just not possible.

Is it?

“You’re gonna need way more than one person to clean up this garden.”

You scream before the words register. You hadn’t even heard Jisung’s footsteps. Not if they crunched the dead leaves or squashed rotten fruit. His wide eyes are all you see when you whip your head, arms out like you're ready to shield yourself from the threat.

“Jesus fucking christ! You scared the shit outta me!”

He puts his arms up in surrender. “Fuck! Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Jisung brings his hand to his ear, rubbing it in soothing circles from your screech. You only feel a sliver of guilt, but when you remember this is the second time he’s scared you in a matter of a week, it fizzles away.

“Are you following me again?”

His cheeks flush. “No! Stop saying that! This garden doesn’t belong to you!”

“I live here! So it does, actually.”

“You’re wrong. I own the Pink Palace, so technically, it’s mine.”

You would like to keep going back and forth just to see his cheeks pout, but you raise an eyebrow instead. “I thought you said your grandma did.” 

Jisung blinks, “Same thing.”

Weirdo. “I don’t see your little cat anywhere.” You look around the garden. “Did he finally grow a brain and run away?”

Teasing Jisung is too much fun. You grin when he lets out a huff and crosses his arms. “He didn’t run away and he’s not my cat. He’s on time-out.”

“Time-out?” You laugh a little. “What’d he do?”

Jisung’s fingers squeeze his biceps anxiously. His eyes dart around before they land on the ground. “Just be a bad kitty.”

They like things that listen. They want a pet. And I’m hardly one to behave.

And you have to ignore the mischievous glint in Jisung’s eyes when he says ‘kitty.’

You clear your throat. Memories of your…dream rush back. As creeped out as you were when you woke up, your underwear was still drenched. “A-anywho, help me clean this garden up. An owner is supposed to take care of their things, right?”

He shrugs. “I try.”

Jisung rolls his sleeve and grabs a garden shovel, kneeling on the dirty ground just like you.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing. The point of his tool hits the hard dirt, barely making a dent. He stabs the ground with murderous intent but only specks of dirt fly.

He notices you watching him. “What?”

“You’ll need a way bigger shovel, but I can have my roommates do that part. Just get the hose.”

You hear him mumble something about the fact that he can do it himself, but he listens anyway. Jisung reaches for the hose and hands it to you. “Now what.”

“Turn it on, doofus.”

“Oh.” 

You giggle when he stands, walking towards the edge of the garden to twist the faucet. It doesn’t take long to hear the water running, but nothing sprouts from your end. You hold the pipe to your face and close one eye.

“Is it on?” Jisung’s voice carries in the air. 

“No.” You shake your head. “There might be a kink-”

“Oh shit. I’m standing on it.”

Water shoots on your face almost immediately. You open your mouth to yelp, but you end up choking. You can feel the coldness run down your neck, soaking your shirt and the top of your shorts.

At least you aren’t sweating anymore.

“Oh my god.” Jisung’s approaching steps are cautious. “I’m so sorry. I- I didn’t know you were holding it.”

The hose now lies on the ground, turning the dirt into mud. You stand and wipe your eyes, flicking the droplets off your fingers. The shirt clinging to your torso feels uncomfortable but you don’t notice how Jisung’s eyes fall to your chest. The first thing you see is his blushing face and gawking stare.

Your bra is evident underneath. Although wearing a white top isn’t ideal while gardening, it was an old shirt you didn’t care to dirty.

You didn’t plan on it turning transparent.

“What? Never seen a girl in a bra before?” You try to sound snarky, but it comes off flirtatious. 

Jisung gulps and struggles to make eye contact. “I just- I didn’t expect that- I didn’t mean-” His brain goes haywire when you step closer, smiling like you caught his hand in the cookie jar.

“You’re a real perv, you know?” You prowl towards him. “Stalking me, watching me, accidentally getting my shirt wet...”

“It-it-it was an accident!”

“Now look,” you ignore his panicking. “You can see everything.”

You have to keep yourself from laughing when his eyes bug from you pressing your breasts together. Water drips off your shirt from the squeeze, but the sight is arousing. You grip yourself in slow circles and let the material hug your body as it pleases. 

“You could have just asked, you know?”

With your hands trailing to the bottom of your shirt, you peel the dripping shirt off. It lands on the dirt with a wet plop leaving you in your bra.

A bold move you would never do so openly, but there’s no one for miles. There’s only you, Jisung, and his half-boner poking through his shorts.

He covers his eyes and walks backward. “Wait! I didn’t- this wasn’t my intention.” You can see the flush in his neck as you stalk towards him. “I-I’m not a perv and I said I was sorry!”

“Oh.” You pout. “So you don’t like them?”

“Well, I mean, I didn’t say that- Ah!” He trips, falling on his ass with a thud that makes you wince. You kick the loose brick away and get on your knees, straddling Jisung’s lap and pushing him down until he’s flat on the dirt.

His entire face is red. He’s still hiding his eyes behind his hand, but you can see his quivering lip and pink ears.

“Aww, are you okay?” You mock sympathy, rubbing your hands up and down his torso. “You should really look where you’re going.”

You laugh when he whines, pathetic and anxious. Jisung has enough bravery to lower his arm just slightly, revealing his teary eyes. 

“I feel like you’re making fun of me.”

You grin. “Maybe a little. But your dick’s poking me pretty hard, so I think it’s safe to say you like it.”

It’s been a while since someone’s looked at you so submissively. You’ve been on the bottom for so long now that you can’t help the way your cunt buzzes from Jisung’s doe eyes.

A grind from your hips makes him gasp. 

“Right here?” He has to whisper it. “Don’t you live with roommates?”

Geez. Maybe he is a bit of a stalker. “They’re at work, but I can call them to come back if you want.”

“No!” Jisung shouts this time. “D-don’t be mean.”

But it’s hard not to. He’s too easy to tease. Jisung can only whimper when you slowly rut against his cock, gripping onto his pecs for leverage. He opts to cover his mouth instead of his eyes, muffling the mewls that sound like music to your ears.

Jisung only moves his arm away from his face when you reach for his elastic band. You think he might stop you, but his fingers dig into your waist instead. Jisung helps you hover just enough to pull his shorts down, his bulge prominent in boxers.

“For me?” You laugh when he blushes again. All that scaring you and whining about how mean you are was simply him trying to hit on you.

The pitiful attempts are almost cute.

Jisung doesn’t say anything as you reach into the slit of his boxers and pull his erection out, hot and heavy. He hisses from the cold air, but your warm hand is quick to soothe it. 

There’s a dab of precum on his flushed tip that you roll over with your thumb. His hips buck from the sensitivity, but he keeps his hands on your hips obediently.

“Such a good boy, huh?” You tug upwards on his cock, watching his back arch and thud on the ground when you stroke down. “Good boys are my favorite. You know that?” 

He shakes his head, a bit of drool seeping from the corner of his mouth. Your free hand reaches for his pink face and scoops the saliva back into his mouth, popping your thumb between his lips.

Your shorts are loose enough to pull them to the side, abandoning his cock for a moment. You pull your underwear along with it and plant your bare, wet pussy on him.

Jisung sucks your thumb with a groan.

“Yeah.” You find momentum easily. “Keep sucking it, baby.”

You briefly think about how much fun Chan would have with him.

Jisung’s tongue rolls over your digit encouragingly. It must taste like sweat and dirt, but he moans at the flavor nonetheless. The tip of his tongue flicks your thumb quickly, mimicking how he would if it was your clit.

You can feel how your pussy throbs at the thought. His cock is more than hard enough beneath you, but his mouth is so warm. If you close your eyes, you can perfectly picture his tongue and cock rubbing on your cunt, licking at your nub, and prodding your entrance.

Moving into a squat with your feet planted on the dirt, you angle his cock upwards. His eyes lock with yours and he squeals with your thumb in his mouth.

“Don’t cum too quick.”

Jisung’s lips release your digit when you sink down. Every vein, curve, and dip of his cock drags between your walls. You break eye contact and watch how your cunt opens for him, folds spreading and lewdly squelching.

His cock is the perfect medium from Chan and Changbin. Not quite as thick, not quite as long, but still good. It makes you clench around his length when you settle fully on him, thighs burning.

“Oh! Oh oh oooh.” His eyes roll back and he can’t help but press his hips up, flush against you. It makes your legs quiver, but Jisung has the mind to move his hands under your thighs for support.

“Tight. Y-you’re so warm. Mmm.” He lifts his head to see where you connect. “D-don’t move.”

You scoff. He’s twitching inside you, pulsing rhythmically. His hazy eyes and drooly lips make it seem as though you’ve been bouncing on his cock for hours when in reality, he just slipped in.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Slowly, you raise a few inches. He thrashes his head side to side when you slide back down.

“Wait! Please! I wanna be good. Let me be good! I can’t- I’ll cum.” His voice breaks off in a whine when you keep bouncing.

The slide of his cock is too addicting. The last dick you had inside of you, awake, was almost a week ago. As much pleasure you feel with your cunt gripping and leaking, there’s a sense of relief having sex outside of your dream world.

Both of your hands land on his shoulders. Your legs scream for a rest, but putting some weight on your arms helps. It’s easier to rock rather than bounce this way. Your hips roll deeply until Jisung begins to move with you.

“Thought you said you didn’t wanna finish.” You pant. The sun beams on your back uncomfortably, sweat gathering on your bra. You use a hand to swiftly pull your tits from the cups, right in Jisung’s view.

Eyes lock with your breasts immediately. A guttural sound leaves his chest and the grip on your thighs tense, making your body bounce again. Jisung’s skin slaps on yours harshly until your tits jiggle uncontrollably.

You moan so loudly it almost sounds like a scream. Jisung’s thrusts force you to match his pace, to feel his tip hit the deepest part of you repeatedly. Even if your legs burn, it’s nothing compared to the fire building in your stomach.

He doesn’t have to use both hands to support you anymore, choosing to use an elbow to prop himself up until his mouth can swallow one of your tits.

Thrusting into you is a lot harder in this position, but you’re grateful for the slowness. You can feel how his cheeks hollow and suck. Even when his teeth lightly bite on your nipple, tugging until he can feel it harden in his mouth. 

And when he flicks his tongue on it harshly, you clench around him.

“Fuck. ‘m trying. I’m trying so hard not to.” Jisung sits up more, popping your breast from his lips and wrapping his arms around your torso. You don’t have an option other than to wrap your legs around his thin waist and let him guide you down, reversing the position until he’s on top of you.

He licks your boobs again. “But your pussy’s too good.”

You nearly laugh, but a sharp thrust has you keening instead. Your ankles cross around his torso and you arch your back, having his cock hit a gummy spot that makes you see stars.

Jisung’s doesn’t have to rub your clit to bring you close. He fucks you so deep that his pelvis rubs your peak perfectly. It makes that desire in your belly grow, clenching and leaking until you think you‘re going to finish first.

“Yesyesyes. Fuck me, Hannie. Feels so good.” You tug on his hair as he sucks on your nipples.

A desperate whine leaves him, looking up at you with boba eyes. Jisung licks over your boob one more time before he lets go, eyes shining. “Yeah? Am I good?”

“So so so good.” You pull him up until he’s inches from your face. “Gonna make me cum.”

Maybe it’s the close proximity or the heat of the moment, but Jisung kisses you. His lips crush yours uncoordinatedly, but you welcome it happily. You can taste your sweat on his tongue. He runs the muscle over your own and swirls his tongue.

The two of you pant and moan into each other’s mouth until he pulls away, strings of saliva connecting your lips. You chase him for a second, looking up at him in a daze and biting your lower lip.

“Can I- can I cum on your tits?” Jisung’s out of breath. He’s steadily pounding into you like he’s a pro, but you can tell his need to cum is getting to him.

Yours too, if you’re being truthful. The back of your shorts is soaked with arousal and your underwear is far worse. Even with all the sweat and drool seeping down, you can feel that your cunt is the wettest.

And the picture of him finishing on your breasts has you oozing more.

“Only if you make me cum first.” You smile only a little evil. “You’re almost there, Hannie.”

His moan is a mix of need and understanding. You think he’ll go back to your chest or lips, but he straightens his back and lifts your legs. You uncross your ankles and let him take off your shorts and underwear to push your thighs back until your knees are close to your face, spread and open for his cock to bully into.

Oh, he’s going to fuck you.

You didn’t think he could have it in him, but you’re proven wrong by the first thrust. It goes deeper than you thought was possible, straight to the back of your throat. His eyes are narrowed in concentration, eyebrows pinched, and upper lip pulled back until you see his gums.

Every slam of his hips, every drag out and in, it feels too hot. Like the inside of your pussy is melting from his pistons. With his hands gripping your thighs and your hands helplessly clawing his back, you can’t do anything but take it.

Cream slides down your ass, pooling on the dirt you know will be a pain to clean off your skin. The sounds you’re making can hardly be considered moaning, closer to a panting dog, but neither of you cares. Jisung gets his dick to fuck your sweet spot until you’re pushing at his shoulders instinctively to stop, and you’re glad he doesn’t.

“Oh my god! Fuckfuckfuck! You’re so fucking deep. Hannie! Hannie I’m-” Your toes curl, your hair sprawls in the dirt and Jisung thinks it's beautiful in the most poetic way.

His pretty flower in his garden.

He lets you squeeze on his cock, convulsing and twitching until the only sound you can make is babbling.

It’s not for long that he lets you ride out your high. You’re still creaming and clenching when he slips out. A surprised squeal tumbles from your lips when he releases your legs and straddles your torso, cock in hand.

He’s so wet, still dripping with your orgasm and white arousal on his cock when he strokes himself. You have to reach between your legs and play with your clit to come down properly, but it doesn’t bother you too much.

You open your mouth and watch Jisung fuck into his hand. He squeezes his tip, getting that pre cum to ooze on your tits until his climax builds again quickly. It hardly takes more than a few tugs before he spills on you, groaning and panting with his head thrown back. 

He moans again when he picks his head up. “Oh wow. Fuck. You look so pretty.” Jisung smears his cum with his tip. “Perfect.”

You blush, pulling your fingers from your cunt. Jisung carefully gets up from you and helps you sit up. 

Your hair’s a mess, your tits are sticky, and your bra is nearly off. Jisung doesn’t have to do much but tuck his soiled cock back into his boxers. You’re a little jealous.

“Maybe the water hose will come in handy,” he jokes. Jisung reaches for the running hose and helps you stand. You have to pretend that it’s not cum he’s spraying off your naked body in broad daylight, but it doesn’t help that your nipples harden under the cold water and his cheeks flush from the sight.

“This is by far the weirdest aftercare I’ve gotten.”

He smiles a little, awkwardly meeting your eyes. “Yeah. H-here.” He tosses the hose back down when he’s done, shrugging his shirt off and handing it to you. 

You could feel his muscles underneath the shirt, but you didn’t think he’d look so fit. His hips are a drastic difference from his shoulders, almost hourglass-like. You blink a few times before you put his shirt on, the end going barely past your ass.

“Thanks.” You try not to stare at his soft stomach. “Hopefully your grandma doesn’t ask where your shirt went when you get back.”

Jisung laughs genuinely this time, gums showing and eyes pinching. 

Maybe it’s the sun, but he looks cute.

Or maybe it’s because he’s shirtless.

“Oh! That reminds me.” Jisung rummages in his pockets, pulling out what looks like a toy. 

You step closer to him and look. It’s not just a toy, but a doll. A small, stuffed doll with jet-black hair, sharp cheekbones, and gray buttons for eyes.

Your heart drops to your stomach. 

“My grandma found it and said to toss it, but when I saw it, I thought of you.” He smiles sheepishly. “A house-warming gift, maybe.”

He’s beaming so sweetly, but you can’t stop the fear coursing through you. It doesn’t matter whether you’re awake or asleep, those damn buttons can’t leave you alone. 

…we won’t let you leave…

“Hey,” Jisung sounds concerned. “Are you okay?”

You can’t find your voice. You're choking on whether to lie or tell him that his grandma’s apartments are haunted. His eyes look so sincere, so worried. But the fact that he gave you a doll like this can’t be a coincidence.

“I’m…yeah.” You clear your throat. “Yeah, sorry. I just remembered that I have to unpack more boxes right after this. I’m gonna be so tired.”

You try to smile with Jisung, but everything feels wrong all over again. He apologizes profusely about getting you wet and ruining your plans to get the garden done. The two of you share goodbyes, the doll in hand as you walk back to your apartment.

You need your best friends. Chan and Changbin would know what to do and what to say to make you feel better. But when you look at your phone, you see a text saying they’ll be staying at the studio well late into the night. 

Don’t be needy, you think.

You thumbs up the message, blinking back tears and hurrying to your room.

Unpacking the remaining boxes might help distract you, but everything feels so overwhelming. It’s been so long since you felt this anxious, this lost. You and your friends moved here for less stress, but all you’ve felt is a pit in your stomach that never seems to fully go away. 

You throw your dirty clothes in the hamper and toss the doll on a chair, flopping on your bed and ignoring the lump in your throat. 

It’s just a bad day. You’ll feel better after a nap.

-

The space between your legs is hot. Everything up to your chest feels on fire with every swipe of a tongue. You groan softly, blinking until your vision focuses on the ceiling. The shadows on the walls tell you it must be nighttime. 

Maybe one of your roomies found you passed out, underwear missing. You can’t decide if it was Chan or Changbin who put their mouth on your cunt, but it doesn’t feel like either.

It’s too messy. Chan is coordinated and intentful whereas Changbin is hungry and desperate. This tongue is…eager. Eager to get your taste and suck on your clit. It almost reminds you of the first time someone would ever eat you out.

Finally, you lift your head. The dark does little to help, but you can make out the black hair. It isn’t curly when you thread your fingers through it, and the eyes that look up to you aren’t eyes at all.

But buttons. 

You yank him off your cunt brutally. He comes up with a groan of pain, dark gray buttons looking offended.  “The fuck?”

“Who are you?!” You cross your legs, tucking them into your ass and grabbing a pillow for defense. “How did you get into my house?!”

His hair sprawls in different directions from your tugging, but the mess looks strangely good on him. His jaw ticks with irritation like you’ve interrupted him from something very important. His chest is bare, everything is nude. The deep lines on his stomach are similar to Chan’s, strong and urging you to reach out and trace them. This makes the shadows on his face deepen. The buttons, the cheekbones, the hair…

You look to your chair, noting that the doll is nowhere to be seen. 

“This isn’t your house.” He rubs his scalp, sitting on his knees and crowding you until you back into the headboard. 

“Not yet anyway.”

“How did you get in?” You ignore his comment.

The doll narrows his eyes. “Do you normally ask this many questions? Everyone’s been telling me you let your pussy do all the talking.”

He laughs when you turn red. A large hand rests on your knee, slightly urging you to spread your legs again. But you can ignore his slender fingers a little longer. 

“So then…I assume you’re from the Other Side?”

The smile is enough of an answer. 

“But that doesn’t make sense. I didn’t go through the door.” You shake your head in disbelief. Is it possible you slept-walked into the tunnel? No, that can’t be. Your room is still the same and the clouds that you can see from your window aren’t as bright as the ones from the Other Side.

“Go through the door,” he snorts. “Haven’t you been telling everyone that this is a dream?” His hand goes up your thigh, under the material of Jisung’s shirt, and smoothes over your hip.

You shiver from his touch.

“Is it really?”

“Does it matter? Lay back down and let me take care of you.” He grabs your waist and yanks you down, surprising a yelp from you. He’s strong, but he never overpowers. It doesn’t take much effort to spread your legs. For his digits to find your clit and rub.

“I…I need to know what’s going on.” You grab onto his wrist, stopping his movements. 

He doesn’t look annoyed like you thought he would. His buttons are curious, a dark wonder that sends shivers down your spine. The deft fingers on your cunt swirl on your clit again, and you have to dig your nails into his wrist to get him to listen properly. 

“Why don’t we play… a game?” His teeth are sharp when he grins.

You breathe heavily, loosening your grip on his hand just a bit before questioning, “What kind of game would it be?”

“The quiet game. You stop asking questions and finish on my tongue, and I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

Too easy. “That’s it?”

“That’s one question. Three strikes, you’re out.”

You huff, glaring at his cocky smile. It's only a win-win situation for you. You win, you cum and get answers. You lose, you still cum and move out. 

“Fine. But you have to tell me who you are first.”

He raises an eyebrow.

He laughs, resuming his fingers to their rubbing. He moves until he’s flat on his stomach, inches from your cunt. You spread your legs enough to have him fit, but your thighs still rub on his cheeks when he wriggles closer.

“Someone’s trying to find a loophole.” Still, he smiles endearingly. “But it’s Jeongin. My friends call me I.N though.”

You wrinkle your nose. “I’m not your friend.”

Jeongin giggles. “Maybe not. But I think you’ll like my tongue.”

His teeth gleam in the moonlight when his pink tongue breaks through. You watch as it plants on your cunt, flicking upwards. The tip of his tongue swirls on your clit before he sucks it into his mouth. 

The pleasure hits you like a ton of bricks. A small gasp echoes in the room and you widen your legs, allowing Jeongin to scoot up more and open his jaw until his tongue can lick from your clit to your entrance.

His mouth is warm on your cunt. It doesn’t take long for your hips to match his pace, catching every suck and lick. 

Your back arches off the bed and into his hot mouth. Jeongin has to tilt his chin up to follow you, saliva and arousal dripping down to his neck. Every gulp is followed by a moan that makes you shake. Your legs only tremble more when his tongue glides up and down your folds.

It’s so soft. It’s perfect on your cunt when he smears your arousal on your skin. You run your fingers in his hair and guide him, getting Jeongin to follow a pace that makes you clench around nothing.

“Oh, fuck! Right there.” You plant your feet on the bed and shove his face flush against you. “Harder.”

You wouldn’t sound so demanding if you were allowed to ask questions, but neither of you mind. Jeongin obeys and wraps his lips around your clit. The suction makes you instinctively shy away from his mouth, but his fingers hook on the underside of your thighs and force you to stay still.

You squeal, wrapping your legs around his head and squeezing his face. Jeongin’s buttons look to you, but they’re not panicked. They almost seem to glow with delight, wiggling his head deeper into your cunt until you can feel his hard teeth beneath his lips. 

He’s trapped between your legs. He doesn’t seem to mind how your hips buck on his face, nose touching your clit until it shines with your wetness. 

Jeongin doesn’t have to suck anymore. He knows all you need is a tongue to ride on, opting to stick his out and follow your erratic movements. You clit twitches in his mouth. The grip on his hair is so strong that he thinks you might rip some strands out. 

But you don’t, of course. You’re too busy face-fucking him to realize that his groaning is mixed with pain and pleasure. All you want to do is chase that high building in your stomach, rubbing up and down until pleasure bursts.

You freeze with a moan, letting your body spasm from your orgasm. But Jeongin doesn’t let you rest for long, latching his lips back on you and swirling his tongue on your throbbing nub. 

He picks up your thighs and pushes your knees by your face, exactly how Jisung did hours ago. 

He must have been watching. 

So he knows that this position makes you vulnerable and forces you to feel pleasure beyond what you can handle. Cream slides down your cunt and to your ass, but Jeongin keeps twisting his tongue on you until more arousal drips down. 

“Jeongin! Wait! I’m- I just came!”

But he doesn’t care about your sensitivity. Doesn’t care how your moans turn into cries from his relentless licking. The crude sounds of his sucking and your hiccups fill the room. You can see with bleary eyes his wet face. There’s white cream on the tip of his nose that he buries into your cunt once again. 

You tug on his hair weakly. “Pleeasee. ‘m so sensitiveee.”

A mean suck has you gasping. You convulse in his mouth, trying desperately to twist away. It’s only when you grip your breasts instead of his hair that he lets go. 

You don’t even moan in relief. It feels like his tongue is still on you when he lowers your hips slightly, angling his pretty, pink cock in your entrance.

“God. I almost came eating you out.” He licks his lips hungrily. “Been so long since I ate pussy. You won’t mind it I cum in it, will you?”

He laughs at your babbling response. Pinching your nipples through the shirt keeps you somewhat sane. It helps you focus on the feeling of his head sliding on your swollen pussy, finding your entrance, and slipping through your folds. 

You can’t even moan, mindlessly opening your mouth and looking down at him splitting you open. Inch by inch, he settles in, not stopping until his pelvis presses against you. 

You fall back on the bed and look at him, vision blurring and bottom lip caught between your teeth. 

“Uh-oh.” Jeongin grins. “Did my cock break you already?” He adjusts on his knees and pulls out a few inches, pushing it back in torturously slow. “Looks like I’ll have to put you back together again.”

He doesn’t start slow at all. The way his cock bullies into you makes you think this is the only thing you’ll feel for the rest of your life. You’ll know nothing but clenching, the endless cream that oozes from your pussy and drips down his balls.

Jeongin grunts with effort, sweat gathering on his forehead and dripping down the sides of his face. His abs tense from the movement, finally convincing you to reach and touch him.

His hard stomach quivers from your fingers. You can feel every vein, every muscle that works in earnest. It proves to you that everything you thought was a fantasy was real, but your brain can only properly comprehend the twitching of his cock between your walls.

“Mmm, you feel that?” Jeongin moans. “Gonna cum all in your pussy. So much in here, baby. I could taste Han’s, you dirty girl. It’s never enough for you, huh?”

He’s close. You can tell by his sloppy thrusts and veiny neck. If his words are meant to make you feel gross and used, it has the opposite effect. You pussy clenches on him happily. It’s not your fault you’ve had so many different cocks in a week.

And judging the moaning from Jeongin, he likes that fact too.

Hot spurts of cum flood your cunt. Jeongin throws his head back and buries deep, making sure every pulse of his cock is inside you.

The walls of your cunt are so numb that you can hardly feel him finishing inside, but you can feel how hot your pussy gets. Jeongin slams his hips to ensure he leaks everything inside before he pulls out.

You shiver from the sensation. The head of cock slips out wetly and you can feel the arousal dripping from your hole almost instantly. Jeongin keeps you spread by the ankle to watch it, smiling proudly to himself.

“Good pussy. Eats so well.”

He lowers back onto his chest, ignoring how your legs still tremble and playing with the cum instead.

You have to force yourself to keep your eyes open, to make your brain work. Your body is still glowing in the aftermath. Remembering why you let him do what he wanted in the first place is a challenge.

Slowly, you raise to your elbows and clear your throat to get his attention. “I think…I think I deserve my question now.”

His buttons blink to you. Jeongin’s finger mindlessly plays with your slit, but he nods. “Go ahead. But remember, only two left.”

His finger is only slightly distracting. You let him play with the cum ask, “How did you get here?”

“You brought me here, remember?”

“No-” you groan. “Like here. On this side or whatever. I thought you guys were only in the Other world.”

He grins, “Do you believe in magic?”

“I’m not messing around.” You glare at him.

“Me neither. We’re mostly on the Other Side, bound to it. But The Beldom likes to grant us wishes sometimes. Only if we’ve been good.”

The Beldom. You’ve heard of that word. An old folklore about a witch or fae that steals people. But why? There’s too many different answers on the internet that don’t give a clear reason.

…they want a pet…

You don’t want to waste your last question on something he might not know. You pull apart his answer, trying to grab onto a clue that can help.

“Bound to it, huh? Are you guys…stuck. On the Other Side?”

Jeongin stops his touches, buttons turning hard and almost sour. He scrunches his nose and lays on your thigh, focusing back on your cunt.

“Now that’s a good question.  Let’s just say we made a deal with the devil. We wanted an easy life. It gets hard out here, you know? Like you’re suffocating. Living on the Other Side, sewing buttons in our eyes, it seems like a small price to pay.”

You have to hold back your shock. The pain they must have gone through. To choose needles in their eyes rather than deal with harsh reality. 

Hesitantly, you console him by massaging his scalp.

“Stuck is…a tough word. The other guys can’t really leave, but they can see. Seungmin and I are the only ones that can come and go as we please, but not in our human form. Not entirely at least.”

It only makes a little sense. You have to refrain from prying too much. Instead, you decide to focus on the other mystery. “Seungmin?”

Jeongin tilts his head up. “The cat? I’m sure you’ve seen him around. He’s a bit of an ass.”

You recall the cat with Jisung. The cat that warned you. 

“He…he told me not to go through the little door anymore.”

“We know.” His voice drops an octave. “He got a lot of shit for saying that. The Beldom wasn’t too happy with him.”

He’s on time-out.

Was that…a coincidence?

“The Beldom. Is that who you made the deal with?”

No response. 

“Who is The Beldom, I.N?”

He sits up abruptly. The sudden movement makes you jump, flinching as he grabs the covers and tosses it over your body. 

“You’re out of questions, pretty. And look, you called me I.N. Guess we are friends after all.”

A wave of sleep hits you. You know it’s not your own tiredness. This is probably what they did every time they were done, putting you to sleep to get you to stop thinking.

Your eyes close without you willing them to. It’s like a strange form of paralysis, hearing steps, and being stuck in your body. 

Slipping into the dark unconscious feels so close, but you hang onto a single thought for a moment longer.

That you can free them. Or try to.

[whtepony]

so real - reiner braun

reiner braun x gn reader

hurt/comfort? but just the comfort - not proofread

listening to jeff buckley and i’m having reiner thoughts again because he’s the loml. this was meant to be a super super short drabble (like one paragraph) but it got away from me 🙃 pt. 18 of acquainted out TOMORROW i promise! but for now have this

now playing: so real - jeff buckley

thinking about ex boyfriend reiner

ex boyfriend reiner who calls you drunk in the middle of the night, three months since the last time you’d seen him, and practically begs you to come pick him up from the bar. who you can barely understand between the sound of people talking loudly (jean and eren, you realize) and what must be the wind. he’s really standing outside in 33° weather?

ex boyfriend reiner who visibly relaxes when you really show up, shoulders dropping and the creases between his brows disappearing. who smiles drunkenly at how concerned you seem to be - no, he doesn’t know where his jacket is, or where he left his keys, but he does remember the times you’ve done this before. one helping the other into a car after a few too many, the two of you usually laughing at whoever was having trouble walking in a straight line. your arms thrown around each other. well, not now, he guesses, but it’s close enough, isn’t it?

it’s not, he realizes quickly. he can’t keep his hands off you, no matter how many times you gently push his hands back into his lap. “reiner, quit it,” you say, brows furrowed as you gently shrug his head off your shoulder. the way you say his name is different and he hates it. he looks like he’s almost pouting for a moment, before leaning back against the headrest and dozing off for the rest of the car ride. he only opens his eyes when he hears the click of the gear shift being pushed into park, opening the passenger door and falling back into his seat at the seatbelt’s resistance against his chest. you breathe out a soft laugh, much to his delight, and reach over to push down on the buckle’s button. “can’t really go anywhere like that, yknow.”

he doesn’t quite realize you’ve brought him to your apartment until you’ve sat him down on your couch, and he’s elated. he glances around the room, familiar pictures still framed on the wall. you didn’t take them down? “i uh- i didn’t know where your new place was, so i figured you could crash here for the night,” you said quickly, walking off to the kitchen before quickly reappearing with a couple bottles of water. he thanks you softly and chugs a majority of the first bottle before twisting the cap back on and rubbing his temple. your fingers twitch, wanting to reach out and rub his shoulder like you always would. or did. or whatever.

you stare at him for longer than you think you should before standing, clearing your throat and mumbling something about bringing him a blanket when he grabs the hem of your t-shirt. you turn, met by his hazel eyes, and he looks just utterly distraught. “please- please,” he whispers, “just c’mere, just for a- for a second.” he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, eyes pleading with you desperately. “don’t want you to go.” and how could you ever deny him? it feels like your body moves on it’s own, taking two steps toward him before he reaches out with both arms and pulls you down into his lap.

you yelp in surprise, tensing up at the sudden proximity, but he’s wrapping both of his big arms around your middle and burying his face into your neck, breathing in deeply. god, how he missed your smell. he sighs contentedly and you relax, a hand hesitantly coming up to rake through his hair. soft as ever, you think. “missed you,” he mumbles against your skin, gripping your shirt in his hands like you’ll disappear if he lets go.

“missed you more, rei.”

[watarfallar]

I don't know what to put for a title...INCORRECT QUOTES!

BigB: Are you drunk? Impulse: Only on the spirit of Christmas! Pearl: And the spirit of whisky.

Skizz: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing. Scar: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing. BigB: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Gem: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed. Martyn: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Gem!

Etho: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Etho, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Joel: I hate Scar. Pearl: "Hate' is a strong word. Joel: I have strong opinions.

Impulse: I am strong! I beat Jimmy at arm wrestling! BigB: Anyone can beat Jimmy at arm wrestling! Jimmy: Hey-

Grian: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from? Impulse: Illinois. Grian: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO! Ren: Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves.

BigB, when Scott walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza. BigB: *accidentally smacks Ren in the face with the baking sheet*

Grian: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone* Martyn: Hey, Grian, how was your day? Grian: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Martyn* Hell. Mumbo, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Martyn: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A. Scar: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Joel: Fuck you.

Etho: Are you ever going to listen to me? Ren: Yes. Absolutely. Etho: When? Ren: When you're right.

Skizz, teaching Grian to drive: Okay Grian, what does a green light mean? Grian: Go! Skizz: A red light? Grian: Stop! Skizz: And what about a yellow light? Grian: If you floor it, you can make it! Skizz: …No—

Lizzie: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at Bdubs’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

Martyn: What if we were stranded on a desert island? Who would you eat? Jimmy: Etho. Martyn: So fast? Wh-what about me? I would eat you! Jimmy: That’s very nice, I guess. Martyn: Why wouldn’t you eat me? I’m your best friend. Jimmy: Look, if other people are having some, I’ll try you.

Tango: Say no to drugs. Gem: Say yes to drugs. Jimmy: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Impulse: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Lizzie: There. How do I look? Jimmy: Like a cheap French harlot. Lizzie: French?!

BigB: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement. BigB: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

Cleo: It'll be fun. Cleo: We'll make a day of it. Cleo: Come on you punk bitch. Scar: I can't believe I have to say this. Scar: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

Grian: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Scar: I haven’t lost my virginity. Jimmy: Because you have no friends? Scar: No... because I never lose!

Lizzie: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Gem: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Lizzie: I— Lizzie: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[cigarettesaftersae]

Homesick

Sae Itoshi - Chapter 1

Fire seems ethereal, whereas candles on a cake appear simple. So, what would happen if the candles on the cake were lit? Is it child's play? A special celebration? It was just a birthday cake, some simple singing, and phew. Gone. Do you feel eighteen yet? What was so wonderful about birthdays, anyway? Aside from receiving free gifts, and dying slowly. The next day will be frigid, as you would expect.

The seasons vary, from icy winters to blossoming springtime, flaming summers, and fading autumn. You would expect something to change over the course of these 18 years. Waking up the day following your birthday seemed different, possibly more hectic, but it has always been this way. So perhaps not changing. Difficult? yeah..

The only time you felt something that was different, somewhat changing, or …a feeling? Was when you were a kid, but there is always something to be joyful about. But this was like a stop in motion. His teal eyes, earth tone red hair, and mostly those long under eyelashes. Wish I could cut them up and use them. But mostly, it was his cold, blunt, and nonchalant personality. Or maybe it was all of it. To be youthful, talented, and beautiful was the dream of all, and he was right over there. You’d see him occasionally in the town when shopping with your mama, playing in the park, or on the beach. Usually if he wasn’t with his brother that you’d assume, he’d be playing with a soccer ball. And you’re on the swings alone as you watch him from afar. Just alone, juggling the ball so smoothly with his foot. For such a young age, he was good and you weren’t even an expert on soccer. For a second, he looks up at you, making faint eye contact. As soon as you realize his notice, you go back to kicking the ground floor to give you a small push on the swings, eyeing the ground like it was your favorite color. Slowly, you look back up to see him playing with the soccer ball once more. The wind blew through the strands of his red hair so calmly, his youthful skin so smoothly. You were almost envies of everything he possessed.

“So pretty…” you mumble quietly under your breath

You break free from your thoughts, believing it was all a ploy from the air getting worse. Walking over to the venting machine to get a drink for your thirsty mouth, you notice the red-haired boy trying to get a drink as well. Only, he appeared to be having problems with the machine. His expression was angry, pretty, but angry. In a quick moment, you notice he picks up his leg, motioning it to kick it, hard.

“That won’t work.” you speak up softly but quick before he makes any damage contact with the machine. He carefully puts his feet down as you walk up to press the buttons labeled for your desire drink, placing in the coins then both watching it successfully come out.

“This thing is… dumb” His voice sound so smooth, like the ocean sea. You could listen to him all day. “Did you even punch in the right label?” You ask

“Of course I did, the machine is broken.”

“Didn’t seem like it”

A moment of awkward cold silence fills the atmosphere as you two simply look at each other.

“It's broken”

“This drink is really refreshing; did you know it came from this venting machine?”

“It's broken.” He repeats once more but sterner and firmer, yet you couldn’t help but admire the tune of his voice flowing in the air, and his dreamy icy eyes, and fluffy hair messy bangs. You slightly giggle, “Which one did you want?”

“The taro drink..”

With ease, you punch in the labels for the taro drink, waiting for its arrival. You hand it to his delicate hands,

“Thanks..” he said nonchalantly

From there you parted ways, no name, not a look back or twice. It was the only time you talked. He remained a small town crush until one day he suddenly disappeared in the beginning midst of highschool. You didn’t even go to the same school. Just gone, all you had was the memories from afar. Not even a name. What was his name again?

You remain present in the early morning at 5 am.. Each wind blowing conveys these peaceful leaf designs, building up like a blizzard yet remaining utterly unique in its mist. The grass breathes its green hue, and the birds sing their tunes awake as you stroll to your local town café. The old lady who works there has always liked your presence and regards you with courtesy. After getting your drink and a little breakfast, you sat in a quiet corner to enjoy your period of quietness. It has always been like this: serene, alone, and dull. It's a rerun; you'd do everything to get out of here, to change your life, to experience anything enjoyable. Now you're not emotionless, cold, and nonchalant. You still possess human emotions, however you grown bored of these emotions. Its like a habit you’ve grown too good for. You felt everything so much but could feel nothing so much.

You snap out of your thoughts when you heard the bell on the door ring. In reflex, you turn your head to see who. You were to late to see his face but saw the back of his head. Red hair..

The lady who ran this place, Maria, smiled like no other when she saw him. Maybe a friend you guessed. It was none of your business, but you noticed Maria’s wrinkle hands take the male’s hands in her to hold warmly. You couldn't make out the conversation but it seemed so joyful, so full of love. It was beautiful to see. But it was none of your business, so with a last look you return to eating and finishing your drink. By then the male was gone and you didn’t even notice with you being in your own world.

In this world stood Sae Itoshi back in the air of the hometown. He had greeted with his parents after a long way from Spain. He remained on difficult terms with his brother however. Nonetheless, he took this day to relax. Revisiting old friendly faces, he remembered one very kind old lady who owned a small cafe. Sae always took fascination in her bakery and caring smile. Always treated him like his own. He walks in the small cafe early morning, not many people around but noticed a girl alone with her coffee and drink but her face the other way. An old man by the window reading a book with steaming coffee accompanying him. With each step gained him closer to be in the eye sight of Maria. Instantly the ends of her lips widen into a smile for the sight of Sae.

“Oh who is this beautiful young man?” Maria chuckles in joy

“Its felt like years since I’ve last seen you sweet boy, how are you? Was your flight back okay? Would you like something to get?” She was so welcoming, in between her talk she had gently picked up Sae’s hand to hold and cherish

“Everything was perfectly fine Maria. How were you?” All the sayings of the cold, blunt, nonchalant Sae Itoshi seemed so fake in this moment. His tone usually unfriendly turned to somewhat soft and kind to Maria.

“Oh you know me, living day by day, these old hands just make coffee and bakery treats for ya”

“We always appreciate your hardwork. Did you need any help in the back?”

“Aw did you really come back to just help me with the shop? So sweet really but youre a young man. Go out, and have fun”

“Ah well I only find that in soccer”

“No no not soccer… have you ever fell inlove?”

“I have no desire for… love”

“Not even a crush? I'm just playjng with you sweetheart. Did you come here just to visit?”

Her words sinked in him, love? He never really thought of it, moreover he thought it was useless and soccer only mattered. And it will only and always matter.

“Yes, and..I would like a coffee, not too much sugar. It wont be healthy for my diet.”

“Coming right up”

“Not even a crush?” It repeated in his head, now that he was back in his town he remembered the color of her hair, not her eyes. What were the color of her eyes again? She was beautiful though, oh so beautiful. Her skin, lashes, lips, to all over.

Young Sae

Sae was young, talented, and handsome, and alone. He played with the soccer ball alone, staring at it as it seemed for an eternity. Nothing mattered but soccer. He was to be the number one, and that was all that matter.

Well, maybe a girl..who just went on the swings. She was always staring, Sae knew she was staring. With a soft motion he looks up at her to see her stare to be completely directed somewhere else the moment they make eye contact.

“Hmm..”

—

“Stupid..machine.” Sae lifts his feet up to kick it only to be stopped by the words, “that won’t work”

Sae looks up to see who it is. It was the girl who was on the swings. Who keeps staring. He watched as she easily and successfully obtained her drink. This machine was a stupid little pile of butt. How come it didn’t work for me? I'm the one whose been active…

“Did you even punch in the right labels”

Why wouldn’t I?

“Of course I did, the machine is broken.”

“Didn’t seem like it”

The nerve of her attitude. All she does is stalk me with her predatory eyes

A moment of awkward cold silence fills the atmosphere as you two simply look at each other.

“It's broken” Sae explains

“This drink is really refreshing; did you know it came from this venting machine?”

Even more annoying

“It's broken.” He repeats once more but sterner and firmer, annoying. But he took this second to admire her eyes, the color of her hair, each mole, birthmark, and facial hair on her..beautiful he wanted to mumble out

You slightly giggle, “Which one did you want?”

“The taro drink..”

With ease, you punch in the labels for the taro drink, waiting for its arrival. You hand it to his delicate hands,

“Thanks..” he said nonchalantly. He turned on his heel to walk away. With a somewhat far distance, he looks back to see you. The girl in the town who keeps staring.

—

It was the only interaction between you and Sae, besides the staring from afar. You both acknowledged each other for being in the same town, seeing each other when going out with mama, the park, or the beach. But you both shy away, never being braved enough to talk. Sae regrets not asking your name. His only regret outside of soccer. What was her name again?

—

note:

.

.

.

what if i told you this was my first fanfic

[lfghughes]

Homesick ft. Dad!Marino

It had been a tough year, that was the easiest way to put it. The New Jersey trade to Utah was difficult and you found yourselves packing up your whole lives to move across the United States. Of course you knew when you had started a family with John that this was part of it. But it was still hard having to say goodbye to all of your friends and to see John having to say goodbye to the family he had made in Jersey.

The second thing to happen was just as hard. John had an injury that put him out for a good chunk of time. So not only were you guys moving your whole life around but now he wasn’t even getting to play the sport he loved because he was hurt. It had been hard on John which had made it hard on you and your shared daughter who was at the age now where she picked up on his emotions easily. 

There were small things you tried to do for him to keep the vibe a lot lighter around the house. Usually a lot of family time and going out to do fun activities. The only upside was John wasn’t missing out on a lot of these family moments now. Especially with the fall season here you all got to experience cute different fall things that you somehow never managed to have time for before.

Today was simple though, John wanted to watch Jersey play Utah so you planned a small lunch and figured the three of you could watch the game together. Your daughter was wearing her New Jersey Devils jersey that the team had gifted her last season (she still didn’t have a Utah one and she refused to wear anything that didn’t have her dads last name on it). 

It was written all over Johns face as he looked at the tv and watched his old teammates playing without him that he felt like he was missing out. Your daughter picked up on it quickly of course  but she also was at the age of curiosity and questions which sometimes helped lighten the mood. “Daddy?” She asked as she sat up on the couch with him to watch the game.

“Yes love bug?” He looked away from the game and at her. “If uncle Nico and Jack are playing why aren’t you there with them too?” She asked and a look of sadness passed his face. “Well baby, you know we moved to a new team so we aren’t on that team anymore.” He explained as she listened carefully.

“I’m on the team that they’re playing against right now.” He pointed to the other team and she slowly nodded her head. “Oh but you can’t play because of your booboo?” She asked and when you saw her lip start to quiver you knew this was going to get emotional real quick. “Hey hey, it’s okay. Daddy will play soon enough and then next time we play Uncle Nico we can go have dinner with him and your other uncles. I’m sure Uncle Luke will be so excited to see how tall you got.”

At that her smile returned and she was on a mission to make him smile too now. “I would love that sooooo much!” She said and then shifted off the couch, leaving you to look after her confused as she started towards the kitchen. “Where are you going love bug?” You asked.

“To get ice cream for daddy, it always makes me feel better so it will make him feel better.” She explained and that was your cue to go help her. As you were getting up from the couch John caught your hand. “I just want you to know I wouldn’t change a thing. As much as not playing sucks, I have you and her and I wouldn’t trade that for the world.” A small smile grew on your lips. Things were going to be okay because you three had each other.

[lizzy-bennet]

thinking about the inherent romanticism of i chose you, and how everyone at the beef was already pre-chosen for carmy, but sydney? carmy picked syd.

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

I don’t understand the guitarist obsession with chasing after sounding exactly like such-and-such player; I mean sure there are guitarists who inspire you and you might buy an amp or a guitar or a pedal or whatever because you want your guitar style to be in the same vein but at some point shouldn’t you want to sound like yourself when you play?

[shima-draws]

Kirito: Hey welcome back. What took you?

Eugeo: Well uh.

Eugeo: I think

Eugeo: I just got proposed to?

Kirito: Oh neat good for you

Kirito:

Kirito: Wait, WHAT,