#|| I genuienly want this to be spread ||

[k-zuzu]

스트레이기즈

s.CB, h.HJ, h.JS, l.YB 𖹭 gn!reader

my enemy.

synopsis: they eventually give in after years of hatred, rivalry, and built-up tension only to get caught by another member.

content: changbin, hyunjin, han, felix (seperate) 𖹭 reader, enemies, suggestive/nsfw/18+ (minors do not interact), idk what this is honestly, poor attempt at comedy, reader has gender neutral pronouns and no specified genitalia, gentle brat tamer!cb x brat!reader, mean dom!hj, switch!felix x switch!reader, subby!han x mean-ish dom!reader, bondage, unprotected sex (cb), big dick | blowjob | dubcon penetration | photography (hj), implied feelings | doggy style | penetration (felix), lots of teasing and some pet names in all of them, swearing, not proofread, lowercase intended.

zuzu's note: part 2!!! hope u enjoy. part 1 here.

main masterlist.

binnie.

"you need to learn your place," changbin spoke softly, his tone dripping with condescension. he had chased you around his room for quite some time before he finally caught you, and with a swift and experienced motion, he grabbed your wrists and skillfully bound them together behind your back with a length of silk rope. his grip was firm, yet gentle, as he tied the bindings tight against your skin.

what could you have possibly done to make the kind and lovable seo changbin hate you? you were a brat, a nuisance who pushed his buttons and tested his patience. he tried to be patient with you for months, but your bratty behavior was too much to handle. and worst of all, you sent him mixed signals. half of 'i am a brat because i have a crush on you' and the other half being 'i am a brat because i hate you.' years passed and changbin had finally had enough, he decided it was time to do something about it.

with a swift and powerful motion, changbin easily picked you up off the floor, walked to his room, and tossed your form onto his bed, not missing a beat as he quickly locked the door behind him. he looked down at you with a stern expression, his tone firm as he spoke.

"you can't just go around doing what you do." he scolded softly.

you looked up at him, feigning innocence. "doing what i do?" you repeated his words, genuienly confused. "y'know, changbin, if you want me to come up with a great comeback you're gonna hafta give me some details—" your words were cut short when changbin stuffed a piece of fabric in your mouth.

changbin looked at you directly, his gaze intense and focused. "let me do the talking," he said firmly. "i need to know if you want to fuck me or not." he held your gaze as he waited for your response. "so, just nod if you do." he continued, his voice steady. "and shake your head no if you don't." he wasn't afraid of the consequences of his actions. it was you sending mixed signals, and he wanted to clear the tension by being direct.

he watched. struggling to keep the smile off of his face as he watched you nod your head, eyes staring directly into his. finally. for once, you were easy to talk to.

"okay... may i take you... here, now?" changbin sat on the bed next to you and removed the fabric from your mouth.

"...yes... you may." you said, breathy.

"but i wanna be able to use these ties, is that okay?" he asked. "to be able to do that, you'll have to get naked."

"yes, fine, please, whatever! just- just take me." you shook around, trying to free yourself from the restrains so you could undress yourself.

"don't get too excited." changbin reached for the hem of your baggy shirt and pulled it over your head, revealing your exposed chest — he wanted to roam his hands all over your body so badly but he had to be patient. he pushed you against the bed so you laid down on your arms. he steadily, cautiously, painfully slowly pulled your shorts and underwear down. finally taking the remainders of the silk rope on your wrists and he tied them expertly around your thighs, keeping them spread.

you watched all but in silence, giving bratty, annoying commentary about how he was taking his sweet time, but he was patient once more because he knew he would be able to fuck you in silence. but you're not very quiet in bed to no one's surprise.

finally, when he was done, he stood up and observed his masterpiece, you, spread all perfect for him — you looked at him in silence, expression defeated by how he took his sweet time and you were still horny. finally, changbin climbed onto the bed, hed in between your legs and he collected his saliva before spitting onto your hole. fitting his middle finger inside, you squeezed tightly around him and let out a soft mewl.

"ah, come on, do you have to be such a tease~?" you whined out. you couldn't move much so your only weapon was your words

"yes, yes i do." changbin curled his finger in your hole right where you wanted it and your entire body jolted at the sensation.

"f-fuck, just take me now. don't wait. i can't take it anymore!" you shuffled around his bed, almost crying.

"beg for it." changbin watched your desperate form freeze at his words.

"what? this isn't a porno, quit making me do shit and just fuck me already—"

"beg. for. it." he stood up and pulled out something from his drawer. "i got a vibrator here and i could edge you all night if you're not up for begging,"

"f-fuck. fuck you. fuck." you closed your eyes and sighed deeply. "please. please, changbin, fuck me. i want your cock in me so bad, please... i'm begging." you whined, tears forming on your eyes.

"good job." changbin placed down the vibrator on the table and climbed over you, one hand stroking the side of your hair and his thumb grazing over your cheek. "don't cry. s'beautiful." he whispered. unzipping his pants and pulling out his hard, fat cock, pushing it against your entrance that begged for him to come inside.

"ahh, please..!" you whined. your legs were already sore from the restraints and you just wanted his cock to fill you up so good. "seo changbin!" you yelled. finally, he pushed his dick inside without a warning, erupting a yelp from your throat.

"fuck..." changbin hissed. hips unmoving as he let you adjust to the pain. "fuck, are you okay?" he asked, looking into your eyes and you nod, lips parted and unable to speak.

"better than okay. keep going..." you took deep, ragged breaths, squeezing tightly around changbin's thick cock as he began to thrust into you with an unrelenting pace — he was so much faster than you ever would have expected him to be. (not that you ever imagined having sex with him.) "ahh, changbin! keep going~" you moaned out, your voice high and desperate as he thrust into you faster and faster, the bed creaking beneath the force of his movements. the sound of you being pounded filled the room, mingling with your pleas for him to continue.

the noise of your moans and changbin's thrusting filled the room, effectively covering up the sound of keys jingling and the door slamming open. however, the moment was quickly ruined by a high-pitched scream that didn't come from either of you.

han stood frozen in the doorway, his mouth and eyes wide with shock as he took in the surreal scene before him. "OH MY FUCKING JEEBUS," he yelled, too traumatized to even flinch. he began crying and quickly barged out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. "I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, I'M SO SORRY." he sobbed. you weren't sure if he was apologizing to you guys for barging in or apologizing to himself for ever coming inside unwelcomed.

jinnie.

"hyunjin, i swear on my unborn dead great grandchild's grave. delete that photo right now." you chased hyunjin around the living dorm room as he cackled like a maniac. "hyunjin, i'm fucking serious! someone might walk in! don't be such a dickhead."

"oh, but throughout our relationship when was i not a dickhead?" he stopped running and held the phone farther out of your reach when you attempted to grab it. "y'know, i'm starting to think you wanted me to see this."

he held his phone tightly in front of your face, revealing the nude mirror selfie you took a few minutes ago and accidentally shared to him. in a panic, you accidentally unsent the photo 'for you' rather than 'for everyone' causing you to quickly cover up in a robe, run to his room in hopes that he was asleep so you could delete it before he saw anything, only to lead to this very moment.

"why on earth would i want you to see that?! delete it! " you whined and grabbed his phone but he pulled it away from your grip, his eyes flickering down to your exposed chest in your loosened robe.

"come on, y/n, stop playing hard to get." he held your chin and put his forehead against yours. you pushed him away and scoffed.

"fucking forget it. asshole." you grumbled and walked away.

"you sure?" hyunjin called out to you. "i know a way you can get me to delete it."

you froze in your step and slowly turned around, eyes meeting his across the room. of course he knows a way. it's hyunjin. you let out a small sigh and crossed your arms over your chest.

"...fine. what is it?"

hyunjin shrugged. "deal with the problem your pic caused," he set the phone aside plopped himself down on the couch, legs spread wide.

you wanted to scoff and tell him to fuck off but you thought this could be an opportunity an eye for an eye, or in this case, a nude pic for a nude pic — so, you walked over and sunk down on your knees. hands roaming his pyjama-clad thighs before ghosting over his erection. you smirked, looking up at him. "is this all just for my picture?"

"do you want it to be?"

"ugh, you're impossible."

"i technically can't be 'impossible' because i exist, the term you're looking for is that i'm 'improbable'—" his retort cut off short when you squeezed his cock through the thin fabric before kissing it softly.

"blah blah blah. you're hard for me." you looked up at him before slowly pulling his pants down along with his underwear. your breath hitching in your throat as you catch sight of his large, long, and pretty penis — fuck, you're starting to just wanna suck him off but you can't let your plan go to waste.

hyunjin looks down at you, brows a bit furrowed and lips slightly parted as he takes in steady breaths. you take in the tip of his dick into your mouth and he lets out a soft moan, you bob your head a bit before pulling away, a string of saliva connecting the two of you together. "fuck." hyunjin mutters under his breath, throwing his head back, eyes closed.

"is it good?" you ask as you pump his length with one hand. the other reaching down for your own phone in the pocket of your robe.

"more." he whines.

you smirk as you turn on your camera and turn the flash off, your right hand pauses from jerking him and you stand up to take the perfect photo of his fucked out form on the couch, legs spread and dick exposed in all his glory. hyunjin looks at you and immediately runs to grab your phone. "hey! what do you think you're doing?" he grabbed both of your wrists, squeezing your left hand until you dropped your phone to the carpeted ground.

"taking your picture since you have mine." you winced at his grip but that didn't stop you from being a bitch.

"i already told you i'd delete yours if you just-"

"what? sucked you off? nah, i'd rather use your own picture against you." you chuckled in his face.

"but you already- why did you have to- ugh, you're so frustrating!" hyunjin tossed you on the couch and pinned you down, his large frame over yours. he uses one hand to undo your robe and he lines up his member with your entrance. it was all so fast but you didn't want to interject.

"you need to finish what you started, darling." hyunjin pushed his tip inside you.

"fuck, fuck-" you hissed out as he stretched your insides and you grabbed on tightly to his shoulders. "it hurts!" you cried out and hit his back, he immediately pulled out and looked at you.

"fuck, sorry, are you alright?"

"asshole, couldn't you prep me first? you know you're big." you grumbled

"ayyo what the fuck," a deep voice erupted from the doorway. your heads simultaneously snapped to felix. his eyes darted from your position, your exposed body through the undone robe, to hyunjin's hard dick. the sparkle in his eyes faded as they grew wider and wider. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

hannie.

"stop making a fuss about everything! focus on a way to get out."

you didn't know how a private discussion with the hate of your life inside the storage room would lead to you both being trapped in it. you were convinced one of the members did so, but it was not funny.

"kick it down, asshole!" jisung stepped back, giving you space.

"you kick it down!" you yelled, almost offended that he even believed you had enough strength to kick the damn door down. "you have the years of training and working out for performances—"

"quit yapping about and just do something about it, i'm tired of sharing oxygen with you—" you slammed jisung against the wall, rendering him and yourself speechless. you didn't know what your next move was at this point, but when you saw the small tent forming on jisung's thin pyjama pants, you knew what your next move would be.

"you—"

"shut up." jisung darted his eyes away from yours, stepping closer to the door and repeatedly banging his hand against it. the loud, irritating noise filling the room. "guys! is anyone there? let us out!"

"stop it." you stepped closer to jisung, your form sandwiched his with the door on the other side. "you don't want them to hear what's gonna happen next, no?" you gently guided his body to turn around so he faced you before you got on your knees and slowly pulled his pants down, revealing his large hard-on squeezing past his black underwear.

you looked up to see jisung with no objections but still avoiding your gaze, so you slapped his bare thigh to garner his attention. "hey." you blankly called out for him. "look at me." without hesitation, he looked at you, his brows were furrowed and his eyes were watering a bit.

"fuck, can you just suck me off already?" his hands reached for your hair, pulling you toward his crotch, but you fought back, pushing yourself away from him with the help of the door behind him.

"don't be so eager, jisung—" you attempted, but he was too strong, one hand turned your head to face his dick and pushed your lips against him.

"shit," he hissed, throwing his head back. he began rocking his hips and pushing his clothed groin against your lips.

"jisung!" you yelled and slapped his thigh again, erupting a yelp from him, pausing his actions. "i told you not to be so eager."

jisung's knees fell weak and he slid down the door, sitting against it and covering his face in shame. "b-but i wanted it so bad—"

"well, you're gonna have to earn it." you got on your feet and stood, looking down at him.

"h-how?"

"make me cum."

jisung eagerly nodded and went on his knees, going straight for your crotch, but you grabbed him by his hair and pulled him back. "ah ah," you tutted. "don't be eager." slowly, you gently guided his head to your crotch. "slow and steady," you whispered and let out a breath of relief as you felt his warm breath against you.

slowly, you let go of his hair and pulled your shorts down — the scandalous sight of your enemy, han, on his knees for you, his warm breath against your skin, his erection still evident and aching against his underwear — all of it combined turned you on more than you thought it should.

you stepped backward so you had something to lean on while han pleasured you, instantly, your back met with the shelf and you hit it a little too hard — causing a stack of unopened canned paint to fall down and clatter against each other as they rolled across the floor, you and han slowly watched as it rolled from your side, all the way down to the door that was now open. your eyes went from the bare feet, slowly going up to the skinny form see hyunjin with his jaw dropped (you were surprised you didn't see it on the ground next to his feet.)

"BANG CHANNNNNN," hyunjin ran away from the ungodly sight.

"fuck." you cursed and pulled your shorts back up, running after hyunjin and leaving han on the floor. "HYUNJIN, WAIT, WHAT YOU SAW IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS." (what the fuck else could it be, y/n?)

lixie.

"c'mon, don't tell me you haven't imagined us making loveeee~" you purred, sauntering towards felix's bedside. you'd walked in on him mid-fanfiction, his phone glowing with the words of a steamy enemies-to-lovers scenario on ao3, his phone discarded and long forgotten on the floor. he flung it across the room when you walked in. funnily, he flung it in your direction. so, you picked it up and read enough to get the gist.

"don't tease, y/n. it's art, it's a- a novel—" felix tried to excuse his behaviour with a scoff and made a weak attempt to push you off of his bed, you remained seated.

"novel my ass. the literature published on ao3 are nothing but for self indulgence and the pleasures of dirty minds like yours."

"aren't most books?"

"come on, just say it. say you wanna fuck me." you giggled, poking his side teasingly. "say itttt~ ah!" you let out a pained yelp when your head bangs against the headboard and felix pins you down on his bed.

his face hovered inches above yours, his breath hot against your face. "is that so bad?" he growled, his voice dropping to a lower octave that sent shivers down your spine and straight to your core. you gulped, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

"oh shi, my bad bro, i didn't mean to trigger the demon within-" you attempt to laugh it off. but your heart raced in your chest as felix continued to pin you down with his gaze, his grip tightening around your wrists. "come on, i was just teasing, bro, let me go. i have work to do."

"come on, if you had time to come in here and tease me, you can take a few hours off work, no?" he purred, tilting his head closer to your face.

"quit joking, felix-"

"you're one to talk about joking," felix whispered, his lips brushing against your neck. you let out a breathy moan in response as he placed open-mouthed kisses on your sensitive skin.

"no, really," you gasped, threading your fingers through his hair to keep his head close. "you can't handle hours with me. you'll tap out first."

felix chuckled darkly, his hands roaming over your body. "wanna bet?" he asked, mouth against your neck, peppering kisses up until he finally connected your lips together, you moaned into his mouth and chased him as he pulled away.

"fine, let's bet then," you challenged, breaking free from his grip and reversing your positions. straddling his hips, you slowly lowered yourself onto him, grinding once, twice. his hands dug into your hips, and he buried his face in his pillow to muffle a deep groan. "what's wrong, baby boy? can't handle it anymore?" you teased. grinding again before taking your sweater off and tossing it aside.

"nah, come on, you can do better than that." felix laughed and pulled his pyjama pants down, revealing his plain black boxer shorts. you pushed his shirt up, exposing his chiseled abs, and you peppered them with kisses, pressing a soft kiss against the bulge in his underwear.

"do you think i could take you?" you tilted your head and pulled his underwear down, revealing his pretty erection. you began pumping him slowly, licking the precum off of his tip. you can feel him shiver under your touch and you smile sweetly. "can't take it anymore, honey?"

"you're being unfair." felix complained, sitting up and turning you around to put you on all fours. he pushed the small of your back down, forcing you to arch, and then expertly pulled your pants and underwear down in one swift motion. you decided to let him have his way and see what he could do to please you.

"shut. the. front. door." hyunjin stood at felix's doorway with a cheeky smile. "Y/N, YOU DID IT! I TOLD YOU BEING A BITCH TO HIM WOULD WORK!"

"HYUNJIN, GET THE FUCK OUT."

[stargirlsmooch]

sub!r trying to top dom!abby for the first time but fails 😭

perfect... perfect... i genuienly have this fear sometimes... any other wlw ladies having trouble deciding whether they're a switch or a bottom?????

but yes i love this

warnings: the first thing i have written in months!!!!!!! if it is bad, pls don't tell me because my self esteem will be shattered, uncomfortableness, pussy-talk, pillow princess reader <3

it didnt feel wrong... just unnatural. your lower half felt heavy and immovable as you sat on your knees on your bed, your girlfriend spread open for you as you so often were.

you could imagine yourself because you did it so regularly lapping at her pink slit with your tongue, drinking her up as her blonde curls tickled your nose, but... You couldn't see yourself sliding into her.

the strap bobbed between your thighs, gently nudging your clit and forcing little whimpers out of your mouth, and subsequently, chuckles out of abby's mouth.

"you're so hot, baby," you whisper, the almost-domineering words feeling foreign on your tongue... you're so used to being on the receiving end of the nickname.

"hi, baby" "hey, baby, can you grab me that?" "you're so pretty, baby" "fuck, c'mere babygirl" "shit, look at you go, baby, riding me so good"

a rosey and sheepish blush settled on your cheeks and your eyes dipped from oggling your girlfriend's abs and thighs to her slick folds as you eased them open with the tip of the dildo.

abby knew this wasn't gonna go far, she had you wrapped so tightly around her little finger that a single look from her would put you right where you needed to be: underneath her. but she couldn't stop herself from letting out a deep groan at the contact.

the same deep groan she makes when she's nestled inside of you, the strap nudging her clit and forcing her to go deeper and deeper until she hits that spongey spot inside that makes you arch your back.

just like you, abby's brain was locked on an image of you in another position; knees pushed up to your chest as she watches your pussy swallow her thick strap to the hilt, leaking sticky white cream as you moan for her.

the longer you stay staring down at the strap poking her entrance, the more the tears want to fall at the uncomfortableness in your chest.

you feel out of sorts and abby notices right away, reaching up to wrap an arm around your back and using her other hand to gently release you from the harness.

"not for you, is it, baby?" she whispers against your tummy, giving you soft kisses from your belly button to your sternum, "better let me do it, huh?"

as you nod your head, you can't help but let your eyes close at the feeling of her lips on your skin; biting and kissing and licking.

"you cant help it that you're a pillow princess, can you, baby?" her fingers run down your front, between your breasts, over the softness of your belly and to your clit where she adds more pressure, "this little pussy was just made to take me."

"wanna be the one to take it, abby. make me take it."

[lefluoritesys]

It's so weird to feel excluded in DID spaces because... we don't suffer 24/7. And I mean we don't suffer so much, we actually have a good experience with DID most of the time, and it genuienly helps us survive. Like we're not perfect, of course, but the good overrides the bad, and most of our problems don't come from alters.

I could pop in to front and ask an alter at front to not talk to somebody, or do something for me, and they would. If they have questions, they'd ask. Like, "Hey, I don't like this person... can you be careful around them?" or "Don't share that info about me", and they'd be like "Okay, cool" and move on.

We found ways to differenciate between each other, and sometimes dissociation actually makes us feel better. Because with too many alters in front, we can temporarily dissociate into one blob that would let us function. Best part? It lets us use all the roles of alters inf ront at once as this one blob. Temporary merging that isn't really temporary merging, to be honest... I have no idea how else to describe it. it is but it isn't. And even if there is dissociation, it's not cause of alters, it's cause of our brain being a bitch.

I sometimes lean back in my chair in the front room when I'm in control of the body, turn to our physical persecutor (who also happens to be my best friend), and go, "Hey, you good if I do homework on your subject today?" And they go, "Sure. You sure you can do it tho? Like, do you have memories of how?" And I'd go, "I think so, I just don't wanna switch rn, I'll call you if I need help, though." And they'd go "Cool."

Like, don't get me wrong, we have had problems. But they were never because somebody was bad, they were because of people's actions that were honestly mostly fueled by being abused, trauma, and figuring out how to properly function. No one was ever the problem. We have alters who are just awful, but that's a separate problem. People in front for us are lovely. Sometimes we have fights, sometimes we have relapses, sometimes we just have horrible things happen to each other or IRL or something else. But no one is ever the problem. We never had that mentality that DID, and our alters, were the problem. Their actions are sometimes, but not them as separate personalities. Actually, we had problems with each other and with DID because people outside told us we should. DID improved our lives, and the areas that it didn't, we never saw it as it "ruined" them, it just... made them harder, and told us there are different ways we need to go about daily stuff and life. To each other, we're literally just people with mental health issues who are trying to make the body functional, but also? We're even kinda happy to be here. And if not happy, at the very least neutral enough not to want to become one.

It's so weird hanging around here, having a blog dedicated to spread positivity about DID, kinda being like:

"Hello, we are actually... functional. And would have always been if people didn't try to convince us otherwise out of their own misery and want for everyone else to be miserable."

We have issues, but they're not because of DID, DID actually helps us with them. It doesn't make us feel invalid, I don't think, but it does make us question whether we belong in DID community. And we have a lot of alters with low empathy, somehow, that makes us more compassionate? It's such a weird problem to have. It shouldn't even be a problem but here we are.

-host

[freyawaves]

MY BOYFRIENDS EX IS CRAZY!!!!

Genuienly tweaking because my boyfriend's crazy ex told my friend that if I go missing "you know who to blame" encenuating that my boyfriend's going to FUCKING MURDER ME... WHICH IS BEYOND INAPPROPRIATE. Then she proceeds to spread the same lies that she's always been spewing. That my bf touched her inappropriately, stalked her isolated her, and is dangerous.

And I know how bad that sounds, and I think you should ALWAYS believe women. But the fact of the matter is she did those things to HIM. SHE begged him for sex when they were like 14, so obviously, he didn't want to do that yet. He has proof of this. She didnt like him hanging out with his friends, but then she was allowed to hang out with whoever she wanted, includinf people she KNEW were interested in her. SHE stalked HIM and got her friends to take pictures of him out in public. He has screenshots to prove this. His ex-girlfriend, however, has one video of him walking the same way home as her (HE ALWAYS WALKED THAT WAY) as "proof" that he's a dangerous stalker murder twink or whatever. And I would be skeptical, but I'm actually friends with two other people who have had SIMILAR EXPERIENCES WITH HIS EX. She would lie about them and would claim all the things she did to them were actually done to her by THEM, for her own gain. One of my friends even said that she did the same weird pressuring sexual things to her. Like, I'm not saying my boyfriend is COMPLETELY innocent because he was definitely super jealous and also a little toxic, but it was MIDDLESCHOOL, and he's grown past that. She clearly hasn't.

My bf never got justice either. She reported him to the principal and they basically forced him to sign something saying he can't talk about what happened to him and he had to transfer to my school because of the harassment he faced AND because his ex claimed he was stalking her. Because of her lies, he lost so many friends, and he had to completely change his life while she got away completely free and comfortable.

I'm ranting about this now because she had no right to talk to my friend and claim she's "worried" about my safety when A: She doesn't know me. And B: She just hates to see my bf happy.

I'm not sorry that within one month of dating, I've made him happier than she ever has in the 4 years they were together. And if she tries to spew shit like that behind my back again, she has another thing coming because people ACTUALLY LIKE ME and will definitely believe me over her because they know I know what I'm doing and I don't LIE for no reason. That's why my friend immediately told me she messaged them and quickly dropped her after hearing my side.

Truly, I hope she realizes that shit like this isn't how you keep friends or partners. She's gonna end up lonely for the rest of her life because she acts so evil.

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

halfway point only friends character rankings

(i am bad at rank so i tiered them, also i don't dislike any character this is more a scale of how many hours i lay awake thinking of them)

tier one: ray

ray: I think anyone looking at my only friends posts can immediately guess who my favourite character is and why. ray is THE character for me, i knew in the first episode before the title sequence that he'd make me extremely unwell (his "being known as a burden who is either professing his love for anyone who cares to listen or begging people not to leave him in his drunken desperation" captivated me ok) . besides relating to parts of his characters and story, i am thoroughly invested in this man and his emotions. like will he fall victim to the cycle he's already convinced he's doomed by? will he find a way out? will he continue living as self-fulfilling prophecy purely out of spite for himself and everyone around him? will he get better? can he get better? will he ever want to????????? i think i always had the potential like ray as a character but i also think the actor plays him in a way that has altered my brain forever (like i am not good at reading faces but the look on ray's face sometime feels like im looking into his thoughts, its thrilling) deciding to play ray as layered and complex and oosing with pain no matter the circumstance was a choice that made the character for me, and i also think it takes a lot of skill to have an asshole insult everyone close to him and ruin relationships he has no buissness ruining for most of his screentime and have the audience come away with "wow that guy is absoultey dripping in pain, i feel so much for him"

tier two: nick, boston, mew

nick: i love nick so much, maybe its my thing for pathetic little guys but something about him makes me scream throw shit whenever i see him. i'm obssessed with all the crime he commits, because he's such a cutie about it. like watching him get all sad listening to the topboston tape fully sympathizing with him and his little sad face to the point i forget he only has the tape cause he WIRETAPPED BOSTONS CAR. just excellant character, i hope his crimes being revealed leads to him looking more pathetic and then becoming 5x more evil but 10x more cute about it (i also am desperate to know what comes of him chasing after a man who has made it clear so many times he doesn't want him only for nick to fall harder like what is up with that)

boston: boston has always been a favourite character of mine because he may not be a good friend and he may not be a good person but one thing he will NEVER not be is entertaining. like if he is on screen your ass will be tuned IN, and for that reason i love him. what i want to see from boston in the rest of the series? i think he is an interesting case of how far is to far when it comes to friends doing you dirty, and im interested to see what the lasting impact to his relationships are and then the impact to how he views relationships in general. i think it'd be nice if there were consequences that made him reavaluate the way he treats other people, but i also find it absolutely necessary for him to retain his sluttiness. like it doesnt hurt anyone else, and i think he genuienly enjoys it, so i hope he keeps it along with his love for photogrphy (would love to see him get more into getting consent of people before he records them and spreads that around tho) stay messy my king 🫡

mew: mew was my designated little guy after watching the first episode but kinda got lost in all my love for sandray. i will say he shot back up towards the top after seeing this one post (i cannot find it now its lost under the thousands that have been posted since) about mew, control, and bdsm (and all the new meta that has come out since too tbh). also realizing around epsiode 4 we knew absoultey nothing about him as a person had me watching everything he did like there would be little clues left. i think its safe to say after episode 6 that the relationhip between sex and control will continue to be interesting as well as WHATEVER THE FUCK HAPPENS TO MAKE HIM ACT UP LIKE THAT IN THE BATHTUB anyway... i am here for his villain?? era

tier 3: top, sand, cheum

(again i tiered them cause im not good at straight ranking and this doesn't mean i like them any less its just they make me personally a little less insane then the others do)

top: i think he needs to be topped by mew and that it has the potential fix him, i've thought about this a lot (A LOT) and thats all i have to say.

sand: i am still kinda obsessed with him, like don't get me wrong. i like the way he mirrors the other characters while still maintaining traits that are specific to him. the fact that he has his heart broken by the belief that ray didn't truly care about him and only saw him as a distraction, distinced himself from ray, took insults and physical attacks from ray, and STILL chased after him because he knew ray was in an unsafe headspace speaks to how strong this guy is, cause you saw everyone else in that bar abondon ray to whatever self-destructive thing he decided to do next but not sand, never sand. anyway maybe its because i relate to ray so much that whenever i see sand on screen or think about him my mind gets overtaken by hearteyes (this is my way of saying i don't have many coherent thoughts about sand in my brain theres just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) anyway i can't wait to see how he develops, if we meet the sandtop mutual ex and what chaos that brings, and whatever the fuck happens with the sandray codependency dynamic and i am dying to know if he does indeed have something in his past related to driving under the influence and what it is about ray specifically that made mr "i can seperate love and sex" into the character we see now

cheum: my girl isn't in the show as often but whenever shes on screen with april i have to smile. anyway i wonder if we'll get an explaination as to why shes always presurring the rest of the friendgroup into monogamous relationships or if thats just who she is (i do think her lying to april about how she feels in order to keep them together at all costs was an interesting detail in all this, like is she scared of what it means to be single/alone, does she feel intense pressure to be in a certain type of relationship, etc)

anways this is inspired by @thatgirl4815 and my autocorrect broke so sorry if this makes now sense

[hetaestoniahq]

What I think the Nyotalia episode really says about Estonia

Hetalia: The Beautiful World anime features a special episode which follows Estonia waking up in a meeting that has all the countries present besides him be female. Estonia shows clear confusion as a loud “Whaaaat?” comes out

The episode features female versions of: America, Italy, Germany, Japan, England, France, China, Russia, Latvia, Canada and Prussia. So basically, Axis + Prussia, Allies and Latvia. These characters are all shown with like an introduction card thing. 

After we are given a look at each one with the intro cards, we are back to Estonia looking at America, asking if that’s really America. Then England speaks, with Estonia processing and stating “Britain too? Oh wow..” his tone indicating that he’s rather nervous. England basically scolds him for sleeping, while Japan also intervenes for it. Estonia has in a way processed the situation properly now, able to guess that the other girl he sees is Latvia, he questions what the heck is going on, his face all dark in the sort of terrified manner. Then you see him looking down, clearly not okay as Italy approaches and talks to him, patting his head. When he looks up and realizes who it is, he basically jumps in his spot calling out a “Italy?!”  Then, Italy points to Russia and he is very much so horrified, basically reacting with a “Don’t tell me-”, Russia stating she had put honey on Estonia and abandoned him outside which he responds with a “Classic..” (This has happened before??) Then comes China, who basically jumps onto him offering medicine, his expression clearly shows he is very uncomfortable and not okay with China rubbing his head and him asking “Why is this happening?” 

Then enters god, stating he can shed light on the situation and we see Estonia is literally hiding under the table. Estonia calls him a suspicious looking god, thinking Hungary has something to do with this (hah, atheist eh?). God states he has noticed how unfortunate Estonia has been, so he made one of his fantasies come true, being with the ladies, as a response Estonia yells out “What are you talking about this isn’t MY fantasy!”

God just continues, and we see Estonia clearly scared and panicked, then saying “I don’t want to be exhilarated like this!” and screams out in fear before waking up. Lithuania and Latvia approach him, concerned, stating he looked like he was having a bad dream. Estonia is relieved and says “Oh good, it was nightmare.” before Russia comes over asking what kind of nightmare and he just explains how everyone was turned into a girl.

Now that I’ve summarized all the important things, lets talk about what this episode actually means for Estonia’s character. I have seen MANY and MANY people depict this as Estonia being straight or having some preference for women. Or the opposite way, that this is indicating he is gay. 

Wrong! This is not about his sexuality!

Yes you could take the bit about him at first being nervous as him just being nervous around women in the bashful way, but Estonia isn’t really that type of character. Estonia has been showcased before to be pretty confident in himself, would he really be that nervous around women he has met before? 

But here comes the bit of the catch, he has met them before, but does he know them well? No. He is not close with them, besides Latvia, everyone else he mostly talks to because of business and such, only America out of these countries comes close to a friend. 

There’s one extra bit of information you should NEED to know that definetly would affect Estonia, Hima likely hasn’t added it, but we Estonians aren’t the most touchiest folk. We only greet strangers formally with a handshake and only people that are close to you get a hug in greetings, these are the only times you’d really touch an Estonian unless you’re very close friends or PARTNERS. Estonians like their personal space very much. Out of all the nyos we are shown, the only one who would be able to hug Estonia without him being uncomfortable about it is Latvia, because they have a long history together and know eachother well, being decently close. 

Nyo China is ALL OVER Estonia in this frame, invading his personal space and touching him, from his expression you can tell he is VERY uncomfortable, that is a face of “Get off me!” for Estonia, this is very much so harassment. 

Throughout the whole episode you see Estonia afraid, uncomfortable and jumpy, he is clearly not having a good time, he does even state that this is not the way to exhilarate him (which means make him very happy and such) because these people he isn’t really close to (Besides Latvia, who only just stands there) are all over invading his personal space, touching him, and just dropping this shit ton of attention onto him which he IS NOT used to getting. Estonia is someone who doesn’t get attention like this, he often goes unnoticed, so these people out of the blue coming all at him? You even see him basically getting jumpscared by this, this is a very new situation with no explanation for his mind that very much so likes logic and things making sense. You see him outright hide under a table in fear!  If this was the same situation but everyone was their normal gender, it likely would have gone down the same way, just without the initial confusion about the gender change.

He outright says it to Gods face that he didn’t want this, and why would he lie after the panic we are seeing him in? (I feel so bad for him omg, I hope Lithuania and Latvia took him out somewhere so he can really calm down and catch a breath)  Also, with the straight idea, why would RUSSIA be there? You’d think that if Estonia wanted a dream about women, then he’d be given women he’d like? Like the Nordics and also Lithuania, heck what about the women he already knows as women? Why would China or Russia be there? 

In conclusion, this episode says nothing about his sexuality and he is just having a panic attack because this is a bit overwhelming for his introverted, logical (the whole situation made no sense), personal space wanting, not given much attention brain. Besides, the focus of the episode was introducing the nyos in a unique way, it just meant also torturing Estonia.

I am not saying you CAN’T headcanon Estonia as hetero, I am saying  that don’t use this episode as a clue or EVIDENCE of your headcanon, your headcanon is purely a headcanon, this episode reveals nothing (Really, if it were to really be about his sexuality it would rather be pointing at him being Gay then.) 

PERSONALLY, I like to see him as a demisexual, because of already from how Estonian can behave, you’d need to give Estonia some time to develop and attachment and then feelings and such. Respect his boundaries please ♥️

Here is just more images of very uncomfortable/confused/panicked/scared Estonia throughout this ONE episode (God I feel so bad for him..)

[denkilightning]

why does every karlnapity fic has shitty characterization of every single character and practically no understanding of canon dynamics /srs

[ptergwen]

brooo giddy hug w tommy where he asks u 2 b his girlfriend aw 🥺

stopppppp oh god 🥺

you and tom have liked each other for some time now. it took all your friends and a couple of almost there moments until you were finally able to figure it out. since then, you’ve been going out on dates each week, which have only grown both of your already strong feelings.

you’re out with some of the guys tonight for dinner, but tom made it clear to you that you two are here together. he didn’t have to explicitly say it. when his hand finds yours under the table or rests on the back of your chair, how he genuienly laughs at all your jokes, that tells you everything.

“i need a drink,” harry decides towards the end of your meal. harrison sips his water and holds up a finger in agreement. “i second that.” “don’t they have drinks here?” you point out and glance over at tom, who’s biting back a grin at you. his arm slips around your shoulders. “yeah, but i want the real stuff. not this high end, fancy shit,” harry scoffs and waves over your waiter.

“like he knows the difference,” tom murmurs to you, you leaning further into him with a giggle. “let’s let him think he does.” “so, that’ll be all? any desserts?” your waiter asks and clasps his hands together. that piques your interest. you give tom a hopeful look that he nods at, fingers running across your shoulder.

“yeah, can we-“ harrison cuts him off in a groan. “mate, the beers. pub closes in a bit.” tom meets your eyes again. his are apologetic, and you roll yours at harrison and harry’s behavior. you know how they can be. “it’s fine.” you assure him, then speak to your waiter. “we’ll take the check, thank you.” “of course. you can pay up front,” your waiter agrees before heading off.

harry hops up from his and harrison’s booth. “not me. i’ve gotta pee.” “i’ll go with you,” harrison offers, the two of them finding their way and poking each other on the way there. they’re acting like this without a drop of alcohol in them yet.

“right, do you wanna go or should i?” tom laughs out, sharing in your irritation. “i can. god, those kids are crazy,” you sigh lightheartedly. “kids, mhm. here, take my card.” he fishes into his pocket for his wallet and gets it out with another smile playing on his lips. “thanks, i’ll be back.” you push out your chair and squeeze his hand, making your way to the front of the restaurant.

tom searches for your waiter again while you’re gone.

you’re back not too much later, holding out tom’s card and beaming at him. he’s standing in front of the table now. you hand him his card and furrow an eyebrow. “where are they?” you ask in reference to harrison and harry. “i told them to go ahead without us. you didn’t actually wanna go, did you?” tom knows you so, so well. you scrunch up your nose. “not really. i did want that dessert, though.”

a grin spreading across his face, tom reaches behind him. he holds a takeout box in both hands. “interesting you say that. it’s a piece of cake... no pun intended.” you take the small box from him with a soft laugh. “thanks, tom. you’re literally perfect.” “all you, love. you’re welcome.” tom takes one of your hands in his now free one. he watches you intertwine your fingers.

“can i ask you something?” he wonders aloud, eyes moving back up to your face. “anything, yeah. what is it?” you tilt your head to the side. “you know, i’ve really loved spending all this time with you, and i like you a lot, obviously,” tom starts and chews the inside of his cheek while he waits for your response. you swing his hand in yours. “i like you, too. a lot.”

“so, i was wondering... would you be my girlfriend?” you instantly throw your arms around his neck, earning a chuckle from him as he hugs you back. “i thought you were gonna ask for a bite of cake! this is so much better.” tom slides a hand down to your lower back and gives you a smirk. “well, maybe later.” “oh, thomas,” you playfully scold him, resting your head on his shoulder.

“all jokes. is that a yes, then?” he’s back to being his sweet self, tightening his arms around you. he feels you smile against his shoulder. “a big yes.”

he does get a bite of cake that night, in more ways than one.

[anyoneseenadam]

The Moon Spirit - three

Dorian x reader, Fenrys x reader (throne of glass)

Description: When you’re taught to be a queen from such a young age, nothing could go wrong. But when the king starts to fear your growing power you find yourself thrust into a world of faeries, evil magic and powerful men, learning to stand on your own can be harder than it seems.

warnings: Fenrys being cute, badass reader but like a shit ton of angst, allusions to sexual assualt (Fenrys canon stuff), mentions of weapons? idk if that counts

word count: 4.4k

a/n: so this took a while but it’s finally done, please comment it genuienly keeps me going cause it’s super easy to get unmotivated, hope you enjoy <3

——————————————————————————

After he left you, Fenrys begrudgingly found himself back at the palace, bowed on one knee in front of Maeve. She looked cruelly beautiful as always but there was something more sinister sparkling in her eyes today, remaining quiet as he stood back to his full height, meeting her gaze with wavering confidence.

“Who have you been with?” she finally broke the silence and he cursed himself for thinking he could ever get away with that.

“I just walked a young girl home, she was new, and I was afraid someone may take advantage of her if she was alone,” he spoke truthfully, allowing Maeve to push into his mind as she searched for a hidden lie.

He watched as she drew in a sharp breath, something like fear flickering across her face before her tightly drawn lips spread into a wide smile.

“Come here,” she commanded, and he went to stand in front of her, close enough to smell her sickening perfume and to see the flawless texture of her skin. “Do you love this girl?”

He shook his head, no, and she ran a hand down his face in a motherlike way. “Good, you will be recruiting her.” His eyes widened and he had to put his energy into not flinching away.

“What?” he spoke with an incredulous tone and Maeve glared at his lack of respect making him bow his head. “Sorry your majesty, I’m just slightly confused. She was just a young girl and didn’t seem to have any former training.”

“And that’s why I’m in charge, you men are too foolish. That was a powerful girl, and I would rather she remained on my side than any other.” He frowned, powerful? She had seemed kind, lost and strong enough to hold her own – but not powerful.

“I need you to see her again, convince her to join.” Fenrys physically felt the command go through him and he stood taller again, nodding gruffly as she waved her hand in dismissal.

--

Your first few days of work had been harder than expected, and you had gone home with aching muscles from lifting books and sore cheeks from plastering on smiles. Albert had made your days easier, drinking hot tea with you as you slowly revealed more and more about your past to him, his kind, old eyes lulling you into a comforting state.

But you didn’t receive rest when you got home. Ploughing through books on spirits and practicing using the limited magic you had found until the early hours of the morning, getting barely two hours of sleep a night unplagued by nightmares. By your fifth day Albert had handed you a pot of cosmetic product to hide the circles forming, commenting on scaring the customers away as you stuck your tongue out at him but smearing some on regardless.

On the second Saturday after your arrival you had a day off and used it to venture into the market, your empty shelves no longer sustaining you, let alone Amaris. Your basket soon filled with colourful fruits and vegetables, and you were browsing the fish section when a shadow fell over you.

“Let me take that for you,” you turned to see Fenrys standing over you with that same easy smile, his head tilted slightly. You rolled your eyes, trying to block out the feelings expanding in your chest at just the sight of him.

“And here I thought I had lost you,” you muttered, and he laughed, taking your basket from you, and paying for the wrapped salmon you had just been passed. “You don’t need to do stuff like that,” you told him, and he took your arm as he led you out of the market.

“Can’t help myself, I see a pretty girl in need and boom, I have to help.” He joked and you laughed lightly.

“Oh yeah, the damsel in distress disease, I’ve heard that’s a nasty one to cure,” he smiled down at you with a sparkle in his eyes.

“Not really, all I need is a kiss,” he tugged you closer and you squealed, shoving him away as he laughed.

“As I said, nasty.” He dramatically put a hand to his heart, throwing his head back in distress.

“You wound me darling,” he complained, and you laughed, hating how much you genuinely enjoyed his company. You reached your apartment in no time, and he stood at the bottom of the steps leading up to your door.

“So no invitation of tea, a glass of wine, a home cooked meal?” he asked, and you rolled your eyes,

“I’m afraid I reserve that for people I like,” he raised his eyebrows, hopping up the steps two at a time.

“Even if I have genuine cause to talk to you?” he asked and the sincerity in his eyes made a shot of fear run through you. He couldn’t know, could he?

“What is it?” you asked, and he smiled softly, a little pain shining through his loving eyes.

“The queen has a proposition to make.” His voice quietened and you straightened your posture, your entire demeanour switching in a second.

“Come in.” you opened the door and stepped in, allowing him to duck as he followed.

The first thing he noticed was how barren your apartment was, a simple kitchen, connected to a room with a pale blue sofa and worn coffee table. Your shelves were bare, and he sneaked a look into your room as he passed the open door, your mattress on the floor covered by only a thin blanket and a few cushions, one incredibly expensive looking gold dress on the floor, stained dark red. But before he could venture further in he heard you cooing in an impossibly soft voice.

He turned the corner and blanched at the sight he saw, “What the?”

You turned from were you were feeding small bits of salmon to a pure white bundle of fluff that hissed as soon as it saw him. “Amaris, be polite!” you scalded, and he surveyed the cat with a wary look, untrusting of the small creature.

“You have a cat.” He stated, suddenly completely unsure of his taste in women.

“No he’s actually a spider,” you deadpanned and Fenrys pouted.

“But I thought you’d be a dog person,” he complained, and you laughed, moving to throw open the curtains in the room before you started putting away the food you had bought, boiling a pot of water over your stove.

“I just like animals, why does it matter?” you asked, and he threw his arms up before transforming into his wolf form. You gasped and Amaris meowed loudly, scampering to hide behind your legs.

“You’re a wolf.” You stated and he turned back with a smile.

“No I’m a spider,” you flipped him off as you turned to put the rest of your food away.

“I prefer you as a wolf, they’re one of my favourite animals,” you told him and he smiled, sticking his tongue out childishly at Amaris who just sauntered of to doze on a pillow.

“So, what does the queen want?” you asked, pouring the hot water into a pot you had prepared, and he sat down on your worn-down sofa, cringing as it creaked under his weight. You followed suit soon after putting the pot and two mugs down, curling your feet underneath yourself as you looked at him.

“Well, she has told me that you’re actually extremely powerful and because of this she wants to recruit you. She wants you to join the Cadre.” He spoke surely and confidently but his eyes shone with wariness.

“Okay first of all, I’m not at all powerful, secondly how would she even know if I was, which I’m not! And third, what is The Cadre?” he laughed slightly and moved forward to pour himself a cup of tea.

“Well you clearly are because she recognised you and always knows these things, trust me. She’s never wrong about this. And The Cadre is a group I’m in, elite soldiers sworn to protect Maeve.” He explained and you shook your head.

“Fenrys I barely know basic self-defence, I’m not a soldier. And I don’t want to be sworn to royalty.” Your hands were shaking slightly at the thought of being sworn to another tyrant, “Plus in all honesty I only found out I was Fae on Monday, so I’m not exactly well versed in this shit.”

“How did you not know before?” he asked – frowning.

“The country I… come from, there was no magic. The king wiped all magic out years ago.”

“Why?” It was an understandable question but still made you panic, he couldn’t know.

“I don’t know, all I know is he did, so those alike me – with magic but born into a magicless world – never got to know.” You were good at concealing emotions, that much Fenrys could see. You seemed to have iron walls built into the clouds around your heart, protecting it as fiercely as you would Amaris.

“Well, Maeve wants to meet with you soon, so let me know when you decide gorgeous,” he stood, and you smiled at him gratefully for not prying further.

“I’m really sorry Fenrys I just don’t think it’s a good idea. As I said I’m not a soldier.” He nodded but his eyes still conveyed a sense of worry.

“Well keep in mind you would get to train with me, probably shirtless.” He joked as you opened the door for him, grinning when you laughed loudly, shoving him through the door.

“Bye Fenrys,” you said, eyes sparkling as he waved, whistling his way down the street comically.

You closed the door as your smile fell, a weight settling on your chest as you already knew why he looked so wary – Kings and Queens didn’t understand the word no.

--

You practically ran to the library the next day, opting to bring Amaris with you as he peeked out of the small handbag you had found stuffed into the back of your closet. When you flew into the library you instantly sought out Albert, who took one look at your flushed, shining appearance and abandoned the pile of books he was putting away, motioning for you to sit down.

You sat quickly, huffing out a breath as Amaris crawled out of his makeshift home and started exploring the new territory of the small backroom reserved for staff only.

“What bothers you child?” Albert’s voice was steady as always and his dry, warm hands grasped yours gently as your eyes filled with unshed tears.

“I just – I needed to talk to someone,” you stuttered out, your breath coming in harsher pants as he shushed you.

“Take a minute and allow yourself to breathe first dear,” he commanded, and you pressed a hand to your heart as you tried to slow its pounding. “Start from the beginning, tell me what’s wrong.”

“The man I loved, his- his name was Dorian, Dorian Havilliard.” You said quietly and Albert let out a small chuckle.

“I presumed as much, I visited Adarlan once, and an old man never forgets the face of a princess.” You looked at him through blurry eyes, confused.

“You knew?” he smiled sadly at you.

“I was 90% certain, but I would never have pressured you to reveal secrets like that.” He passed you a tissue, “But I sense that’s not all that weighs heavy on you?”

You shook your head, “Queen Maeve has made clear that she wishes me to join the Cadre.”

Albert’s face changed with the clear shock, and you bowed your head, shamefully.

“And what did you say?” he asked slowly.

“No, of course! I don’t have any desire to be another monarch’s puppet.” You stated and he shushed you again.

“You need to remember that people always listen.” He scolded, repeating one of the first things he had told you when you started working. “I agree that you should be cautious, but perhaps gaining the queens protection would be beneficial. Plus you would become an extremely skilled swordsman.”

“I am not a man, nor do I wish to be.” You said through gritted teeth, “And I vowed that I would become skilled on my own and go back to Dorian.”

“Yes but if you join, you will be more skilled than ever before,” Albert reasoned and you shook your head, tears welling up again.

“I thought you’d be on my side for this, you are the one who told me to be careful around powerful people.” You felt unjustly betrayed as he spoke and his shoulders slumped slightly, sighing before grasping your hands lightly again.

“I am dear, and I urge you to do what you think is best. But I am simply reminding you that if you truly want to beat this king you are being offered power on a silver platter right now, and perhaps it would be foolish to deny yourself it.” You let his words run around your head as you worked overtime trying to figure out a plan.

“Say I joined – what do I need to do to ensure I don’t become another puppet?” you asked, and he smiled at you.

“First of all, she will offer a blood oath and you must refuse it with everything you have in you – she came to you remember you hold the power. On that note you must summon all those queenly powers of yours and ensure when you speak to her, she is meeting you and she is trying to win you over. Never the other way around.” You nodded, pocketing the information in your head. “When in the palace you are always being watched, always being listened to, so keep your wits about you. But I’m sure you’re used to that by now.”

You laughed under your breath, “It’ll be just like going home,” you commented, and he smiled.

“Sadly yes, now take this money. Go but a new dress and tomorrow you will take a carriage, you can’t walk there.” You thanked him softly, placing the gold in the purse you held, “You’re a kind girl, that is what makes you strong and that’s what will make you a good queen. Don’t let them take your heart.”

Your throat tightened and you nodded due to the lack of trust you held for your voice, standing, and collecting your bag in one hand and Amaris in the other. Albert stood to take you to the door with a smile, and a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“You can have tomorrow off work as well, however I feel our work together is already coming to an end.” You smiled softly, allowing him to pet Amaris’ head softly before he kissed your cheek gently, ushering you out the door.

“Have a good night Albert,” you said, turning to see him watching you with sorrowful eyes.

“Remember what I told you dear, don’t let them take your heart.” Your smile was sad as you spoke,

“I won’t.” You both heard the lie but, neither of you decided to correct it. Not tonight.

--

Of all the things Fenrys expected to see the next morning, you were the one he hoped for. But as he looked around at the powerful men surrounding the room he felt white-hot panic seize him as he realised what you were about to do. You hadn’t even looked at him when you walked in, keeping your eyes trained solely on Maeve, not even dropping them as you dropped in a low curtsy.

He was even more shocked by the blood red dress you adorned, the v-neck deep and skirts long with a slit up either leg, high enough to reveal the halter you wore with a silver dagger and a ruby encrusted hilt secured into place. Every man, woman and mouse watched as you walked through the room – head high and shoulders back, revealing enough to entrance everyone in the room but covering enough to keep them wanting more and he felt his anger grow as he watched you.

You waited with a soft, but condescending, smile on your face, allowing Maeve to regrasp some power by speaking first – every movement so calculated and precise. As he watched you he saw the power and understood the fear and lust building in the room.

“So I guess you heard my offer.” Maeve finally said, drawling low with relaxed posture.

“I did.” Your statement was short, to the point but you saw it grate Maeve’s nerves and smiled as sweet as spun sugar, “Your majesty.”

“And?” he watched as Maeve grew more agitated and was surprised she hadn’t killed you yet, usually not standing for even an ounce of insubordination.

“I am willing to accept on one condition – I’m not taking a blood oath.” He had to fight jumping in the air with glee as you spoke, so afraid you were going to get tangled in the mess he was in. Maeve’s face grew dark, but you held your ground, never letting your eyes stray lest she see your weakness.

“Well that’s simply not viable,” she stated, glaring you into the ground but you just smiled again, nodding with a polite laugh.

“I see, well this was a lovely meeting, gentlemen.” You raised your hand politely as you moved to leave, your eyes finally flittering over him and the rest of the cadre. You bowed once again to Maeve, making to leave when Maeve raised her hand.

“We are not finished.” She stated.

“Well I’m terribly sorry your majesty but I’ve made my terms extremely clear, and since you refuse to budge - I believe we are done.” Your voice was still sweet, but he watched your face change slightly, every bit a queen looking down upon her people. He couldn’t help but wonder were you learned to speak this way, but Maeve simply laughed.

“Yet here you are,” she spoke with a mocking tone, and you smiled with your teeth this time.

“Need I remind you that you sought me out, if I have terms it should be in your best interest to meet them if you wish me to join your miniature army.” Fenrys heard Lorcan snarl lowly next to him but gripped his arm in warning.

“Oh your training is impressive princess, but I’m afraid it will be of no use.” Your face didn’t budge as Maeve spoke, but Fenrys watched as something flickered through your eyes, “You see, I learn of misdemeanours in other courts very easily and I wish to show you what I learned of Adarlan.”

“There’s nothing you could show me that I won’t have seen before,” you said, and he watched the two of you laugh like you were mingling at a party instead of standing of in a court.

“Oh I’m afraid this is relatively new, you might reconsider your terms after this,” you stood straight as Maeve walked down the steps and moved to whisper something the rest of them couldn’t hear in your ear, her hand pressed lightly to the base of your neck.

She pulled away after a few minutes and he took in your now shaking hands, eyes filled with tears you clearly refused to let fall. You took in a steadying breath before speaking, “You’re lying.”

“Oh I wish I was princess, but I can only show the truth and it appears your prince had moved on rather quickly, what use is there going back to a country where you can no longer rule.” She stroked your hair condescendingly and you chewed the inside of your lip as it quivered. “But here, here – under my control – you have power of your own. Men will no longer hold onto you like a prized pony, you will become something they fear, you will be my perfect princess, the daughter I never got to have.”

Fenrys inhaled sharply, he knew Maeve never planned to relent the throne, especially not to a woman from another country. She looked at you like you were a doll, something for her to reshape and change. You must have seen it to, but through your blurry eyes everything had changed.

“Okay,” your voice was smaller than before, and he wanted to tear Maeve limb from limb for having broken you down so harshly with just a few words. She smiled cruelly at you as she cut a small line along her forearm and you bowed your head in pain, before falling to your knees – graceful even as pain consumed your entire being. You brought your lips to her wound and drank as she repeated the words that he remembered all too well.

When you rose your lips were sparkling red, and your eyes were glistening with tears still unshed – but you raised your head like a queen and Maeve smiled.

“I believe you have already met Fenrys, he will be training you as the training you have received is not proficient, I’ll have all your belongings brought to a room here.” Maeve waved her hand to some guards, but you stopped her.

“I only need Amaris brought here; the rest can burn.” You muttered.

“And for your new wardrobe?” She asked and you smiled looking down, wiping your mouth slowly.

“Make it red.” You finally met Fenrys eyes, and he stepped forward, desperate to drag you far, far away.

“Shall I escort her to her new room?” he asked Maeve and she flitted her eyes to him, then to the hand he had pressed to your back.

“Yes and then afterword’s come find me,” she smiled cruelly at him, and he felt you stiffen under his hand, but he just nodded and began to lead you out of the room.

He led you through the corridors and up the stairs in silence, angry at you for accepting and at himself for not putting up more of a fight. When he reached the room he presumed would be yours he opened the door for you, following you in as you sat on the bed, your usual lightness replaced by the weight on your shoulders.

He watched you bow your head and came to sit beside you, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise; this was my choice.” You said and he reached an arm around your shoulders, but you quickly shrugged him off.

“I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t, if you and the queen are…” you trailed off and Fenrys bowed his head in shame.

“It’s not like that, she, she makes me,” he muttered, and you inhaled sharply, turning to him with those watery eyes.

“I had no idea, I’m sorry,” you whispered, instantly looping your arms around him neck and holding him tight. “She’s a monster.”

Fenrys huffed a laugh, pulling away, “You’re telling me.”

He reached a hand for your face slowly, wiping under your eyes where a tear had escaped, “how did she change your mind?” he asked, dark eyes searching your face for clues as your bottom lip quivered in pain.

“She showed me home,” was all you said, and his shoulders dropped. He would leave it for now, you were young and clearly not ready to speak – and now, they had all the time in the world to speak.

“Sleep tight, training starts at seven tomorrow,” he stood and kissed your head lightly and you nodded, words getting caught in your throat. He left quietly, walking away as quickly as he could to avoid hearing the soft sobs that erupted as soon as he closed the door.

--

You could barely contain your tears until you got to your room, repeating rule thirteen over and over in your head, crying in public is only appropriate at funerals and weddings. But as soon as Fenrys left your room you sobbed into your hands, wailing, and crying like a child throwing a tantrum as you let out the emotions, the screams that have been locked inside of you for so long.

You had done everything for Dorian, changed every part of yourself and become the perfect princess, girlfriend, fiancé – and he, mere weeks after you had to run, was already moving onto a new girl.

As hard as you tried you couldn’t get rid of the image of him and the blonde girl out of your head. How he kissed her softly, his hand on her lower back where it always used to rest on yours. The smile when he pulled away, the way he laughed with her, the way Chaol smiled at his brother when he was happy. You had been forgotten, replaced, almost instantly, the warmth you used to feel when you thought of home, of your princes’ arms replaced by a tight chest and a cold feeling encompassing your heart.

“I’m sorry Albert,” you whispered into the air as you stood looking out on your balcony, gripping tightly to the rail as you feared your legs would give out, “She already took it.”

You were interrupted by a quiet knock on your door, wiping your eyes as you opened it – taking Amaris from the tall guards’ hands as a flurry of women pushed in, filling your drawers with clothes and cosmetics, candles and hair pins, books and plants, a million supplies for Amaris and then some. You smiled politely at them as they left without saying a word, in and out extremely quickly as you stared at a knot in the floor.

Another knock sounded soon after and you turned your head to see one of the Cadre staring in with piercing green eyes. You motioned for him to come in and stood, tilting your head up to meet his gaze as he took in your messy, tear-stained expression.

“You’re the first female member of the Cadre, ever.” He stated and you blinked slowly.

“Lucky me,” your tone was sarcastic, voice rough from the crying but the man smiled.

“I’m Rowan, it’s good to meet you.” He reached out a hand and you met it, allowing him to kiss the back gently.

“(Y/n)” you returned, with a slight curtsey.

“I look forward to fighting with you (y/n),” he stated, releasing your hand and turning to leave, stopping right before he reached the door, “Oh, and don’t lose that dagger, you’ll find a shocking number of men dislike powerful women.”

“First I’m hearing of this,” you deadpanned, and he chuckled.

“Goodluck kid.”

[futurewriter2000]

Farewell Revenge - pt. 7

A/N: Now we’re getting somewhere

XX

Sirius Black had a secret. 

He had you in his eyesight with a smile on his face when his best friend jogged to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, giving you a kiss on the cheek. 

In front of everybody, your whole house but it didn’t bother you for a second because you cared more about James than you ever did about your house reputation. Ravenclaw was never much on discrimination anyway. A lot of Ravenclaws have broad perspectives that was why they had never looked upon house discrimination. They didn’t believe in it. They knew better. They knew that they had more important things to do than have pride and ego. 

They genuienly did not care. 

Sirius Black on the other hand? - Well, Sirius wasn’t pleased with the idea of his best friend being with someone he was curious about. 

He was happy for James. He really was because James had never been this happy with anybody. He was never this gentle, so exposed to everything than he was with you. 

Sirius noticed the giddy smile on James’ lips when he came back from you. He noticed that his smile couldn’t disappear, only grow whenever he daydreamed about you. He came back without a breath, like an 8 year old boy that seemed to shine light everywhere. Sirius knew James was an open person and he knew James was, especially with him, extremely opened with his emotions but he knew. He didn’t know how he knew, he just had a gut feeling that when James was with you, he was more himself with you than he ever was with Sirius. James showed you his raw emotions, all of his thoughts and Sirius, as happy as he was for James, he was also jealous. 

He walked with you to class. You were only two classrooms further away but the time he spent with the two of you, he wanted. James had Quidditch practice, which always excused him from Astronomy class, lucky bastard. 

You stepped in front of him, quirking an eyebrow. “Are you mad?” 

“Mad?” he asked confused. “Why would I ever be mad? Because of the nose thing?”

“I dunno. You’re quiet.” 

“Is that a crime?” 

“No but if you ditch class with me, it might.” your lips turned into a grin as your eyes screamed with mischief. 

He stood there for a while. Of course, he would do anything to ditch Astronomy class but with you? - He cleared his throat. “Why would I want to ditch class with you?” 

“So we can talk this rubbish through, make amends and not make James so uncomfortable when all three of us are together.” you said without a pause. 

Sirius narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “For James, huh?” he scoffed, placing hands on his hips and contemplating. “You must really love him if this is all for James?” he turned his gaze on you, burning inside until a blush crept on your cheeks.

“The word ‘love’ is still.....” you tried to think of the correct way to express yourself but stood quiet instead. 

Sirius raised his eyebrows, analyzing your facial expression until making a final decision. 

---

You threw yourself below the linden tree, furthest from the lake and nearest to the forest so the two of you won’t be seen. Sirius threw his bag on the ground beside the treat next to you and sat down. 

Facing him with a cross sitting position, you chuckled. “Afraid I’ll punch you in the nose again?” 

“Hilarious, aren’t you.” he mocked and gazed upon the lake.  “When James told me you and him started dating, I wanted to throw you to the Squid.” he said calmly and you laughed.

“I feel like you still want to.”

“I do.” he shrugged and looked back at you. 

“I appologised for the Regulus throat grab.” you shrugged. “And you know you deserved the punch.” 

“Yeah but that’s what I don’t get. Usually, a witch would just use her wand and hex me, yet you just punched me like a Muggle.”

“Sometimes, you don’t need to be a witch or a wizard to stand up for yourself.” you said. “And I couldn’t think of a good hex at the scene.”

“I thought you were a Ravenclaw. Don’t you all have perfect memory or something?” 

“We do. I didn’t know which hex to choose, so I used the hand instead.” 

He sat quiet, obserivng. 

Here was the thing, he didn’t believe you. Not a single line. Not a word.

“You said you had a sister.” he said, plucking the grass with his hand and tearing it apart with his fingers.

“Why do I feel like I’m being interrogated?” you tried to joke around but he kept his face turned away from you, frown on his lips. 

“You wouldn’t feel like that if you had nothing to hide.” he said, eyes still upon the lake.

“I don’t.”

He felt the lie through your teeth. He couldn’t know how but it was as if he felt it reaching his bones. “Why isn’t she here?” 

“She studied in a different witch school.” 

“Which one?”

“Durmstrang Institute.” 

“Why didn’t you go there?”

“Not enough money for the both of us.” 

Sirius finally looked into your eyes and he could see the secrets behind them. You lied like a petty little thief, who stole but never got caught. 

“How come I have never heard of your family?”

“I never heard of yours either.” you replied. “The Black family might be familiar to all Great Britian but surely it isn’t popular and known all over the world.” 

“You’re getting defensive.”

“God, Sirius stop trying to get something out of me!” you started to get furious. “Of course, I have secrets! I have a lot of secrets that I don’t want anybody know! We all have secrets that we don’t want anybody to know!” you were standing up, closing your eyes and trying to calm yourself down. “You would get defensive as well if somebody tried to drill inside of you for personal information that are none of their business. You’re not James, Sirius. I won’t tell you these things. You won’t know my personal life until I tell you about it. Just because we both love James does not mean you get to know what he gets to know.”

He didn’t look away this time. He plucked the grass and tore it, finally , for the first time, he smiled. “Yeah.” was what he said.

“Yeah?” you perplexed. “Yeah what?”

“You’re right.” he looked up at you. “I don’t get the right to ask you those questions just because I’m James’ best friend. I guess, it just isn’t fair you knowing so much about me, Regulus and my family and me not knowing anything about yours.” 

You continued to look at him, observe, analyze. He smiled but the smile wasn’t really there. It was a wall. A wall he had built all his life. 

So as much as you wanted to get out of this situation before, you stayed and sat back down. There was silence, soft and calm. He plucked his grass and tore it up and your hands only played with the ends of it. 

“My dad’s a drunk.” you said, looking away from his eyes to which you were aware were not watching you. You knew because you couldn’t hear the grass being torn from the ground anymore. “When you’re a kid, they can convince you that all the wrongs, all the insecurities and unfortune is for you. They say that it’s your doing, your power.” you glanced back up at him, then back at the grass. “Some kids had the opportunity to grow up in a home where they could fall asleep feeling safe.” you wrapped the grass strings around your fingers and pulled it hard from the ground. You gritted your teeth a bit and gazed upon the shimmering lake. “I fell asleep when I was sure that he was home and asleep, not being able to do what he did anymore....after he did it.” you pulled another pack of it and started tearing it with your fingers. “And you’re a kid... you’re just a kid and you know you can’t do anything, so you feel helpless. You’re a coward and worthless and you think that if you weren’t ever born, you wouldn’t go through this but you go through it anyway... and you’re too coward to stop it or end it.” you looked up, your eyes completely dry and tearless. 

He was speechless. You didn’t lie. Your eyes were too raw to tell him you lied. “What are you saying?” he asked instead.

You smiled... but not really. It wasn’t a realy smile to him. “I’m saying my dad’s a drunk.”

“Did he hurt you?” 

“He never laid a hand on me... but he might as well had. “

“That was what you meant when you said you would never leave your sister. Not like I did.” he lowered his head, tore the grass and turned his sight onto the lake. 

“He never laid a hand on me because he had my sister and he never laid a hand on my sister because he had my mother. Mothers were supposed to protect their children, Sirius and my mother did until she left.”

He watched you, simply there in the shadow and he thought everything else that he didn’t before. He thought that you must be the exact opposite he thought of you before. 

“When you grabbed me by the throat, I wasn’t intimidated but when you told me that I didn’t love Regulus enough to save him from there, I started to hate you.” he said, plucking the grass again which was getting less dense where he sat. “It’s not because I really did hate you but because you said I didn’t love him enough to save him. The truth was, he obeyed, he did as he was told all the time. I thought he would be taken care of just as he was when I was there but the truth was, I knew. I knew he wouldn’t be okay, I just wanted to believe that so badly. I wanted to believe that because I couldn’t believe that I was a coward. I do love him, more than my own life and if I could, I’d change that day.” he sighed out. “I can’t though.”

“No, you can’t.” you said, looking at him as he locked his eyes with yours. “Let him believe you love him, Sirius.”

“He doesn’t even want to look at me.” 

“He doesn’t have to.”

“I don’t know.” he mumbled and this time, you prefered to be quiet. 

Your fingers drifted to the ends of the grass, gently brushing against them as you smiled. Sirius seemed to notice that smile, which made him believe he could trust you a bit more that he did before the two of you came together. “So you love him.” he said plainly and you looked up, redness spreading fast up your ears. 

“What?” you mumbled. 

He let out a soft laugh. “You said we both love James. I think the word ‘love’ isn’t in question anymore for you.”

Yes, Sirius Black had a secret. Many of them. You knew he had them just as much as you did but you were not aware, nor even had the slightest feeling that his secret? That secret changes everything. 

[hopelikethemoon]

Title: ballet practice  Rating: PG Length: 2,200 Warnings: None. All fluff.  Notes: Please note that we’ve encountered a time jump. This ficlet is set in 1996 when Josie is 3 years old.  You can follow the timeline of Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Also, can I just how freaking hard it is to write them being genuienly happy? Not that it’ll last for long. Summary: I don’t know how to summarize this because it’s just fluff and amusement.  Taglist:  @grapemama​​  @seawhisperer​​ @huliabitch​​ @pedropascalito​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​@thewallpapergoesorido​​ @twomoonstwosuns​​ @gooddaykate​​ @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow​@hiscyarika​​ @plexflexico​​ @readsalot73​​ @hdlynn​​ @lokiaddicted​ @randomness501​​@fioccodineveautunnale​​​ @roxypeanut​ @just-add-butter​ @snivellusim​

“Mommy, my hair’s falling down.” Josie pouted as she tugged at the loose strands that she’d slowly worked out of her bun over the course of the fifteen-minute car ride to the dance studio. You sighed heavily, gesturing for her to come closer. “Thank you mommy.”

“Of course, baby doll.” You said affectionately, pulling a bobby pin loose and tucking it between your lips as you started to pull apart your efforts. Whoever thought getting a three year old to sit still long enough to get their hair slicked back into a bun had lost their damn mind. 

“You good?” Javier questioned, running his hand over the length of your back as he settled into the seat beside you. 

“Yeah.” You nodded with a smile. “Hun, you’ve got to hold still.” 

Josie stiffened at your words, “I’m sorry mommy.” 

“It’s okay sweetheart.” You offered, tucking another bobby pin between your lips. Javier gave your shoulder three little squeezes — a gesture that never failed to make your heart flutter. It had been years since the first time he silently reminded you of his love with the subtlest of touches. Something that used to get you through the hardest days of work when Josie hadn’t even been born yet. 

“I’m gonna hit the restroom,” Javier told you, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your temple before he headed down the hallway to the bathroom. You were keenly aware of the way the other mothers in the room watched him leave. You had to admit, the jeans made his ass look great. But they were also relentless women, despite the fact you were sitting right there. 

And it wasn’t as though Javier didn’t make it known that he was with you. If he didn’t have his arm slung around your shoulders, he had his hand on your knee, or his fingers interlaced with yours. Javi took full advantage of the fact that nothing about your relationship had to be kept under wraps anymore. 

“Hold still.” You reminded Josie as she started wiggling — never able to stay in one spot for very long. “Almost done.” You mumbled through the bobby pins as you peeled the hairnet off, resting it on your leg as you pinned her hair back down. 

When Javier returned from the bathroom the seat beside him was no longer vacant. One of the mothers — Missy — had uprooted her belongings across the room to slide into the spot next to him. You had met her husband once, at one of the girls’ recitals. Typical military type, and easy on the eyes himself. You had no idea why she was constantly in hot pursuit of Javi, except for the fact that Javi was… well, aloof was the best word for it.

You didn’t know anything for certain, but you sometimes wondered if the other mothers had some unspoken bet in place. Which one of them would manage to snatch up the Hot Dad at their daughter's dance class? A couple of them had caught you off-guard a few months back at the cookie table during one of the in-class recitals. They wanted to know all about why the pair of you weren’t married. Was there trouble? All sorts of bullshit no one had any right to ask another person when they just wanted to enjoy their Snickerdoodles. 

“Don’t you look pretty,” Javier told Josie as she showed off her new bun. “Now don’t you pull it down again. You’re driving mommy crazy.” He gave her cheek a playful pinch and she giggled and hugged at his legs. 

“Remember to work on your balance like we practiced.” You reminded her, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of her head. She scampered off towards the studio with two of the other little girls that had been waiting for her. 

Javier leaned back in the chair, resting his foot on the top of his thigh as he crossed his legs. “I can’t believe how big she’s getting.” He remarked, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at you. “Feels like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms.”

You nudged at his arm, “It probably was just yesterday. You’re always carrying her around.” 

“Touché.” He chuckled, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip before he reached over and rested his hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze. 

“I think it’s just darling how you are with her,” Missy remarked, but Javier didn’t seem to realize she was talking at him just yet. “It’s just so important for little girls to have bonds with their daddys like that.”

You covered your mouth as you stifled a laugh, rubbing your lips together as you met Javier’s gaze. Your brows rose upwards as you nodded your head towards Missy. “She’s talking to you.” You whispered. 

Javier glanced over his shoulder at Missy, his shoulders growing tense as he turned to speak to her. “Yeah, it is. She makes it easy though.” 

“She’s just the sweetest little girl.” Missy seemed elated to have his attention. “My Lily has been dying to have her over. Maybe you could bring her over  for lunch one day.” She looked at you then, “Such a shame you work. I’d invite you, but I guess Javi will just have to bring her himself.” 

“Actually,” He slid his hand up your leg to grab ahold of your hand, interlacing your fingers as he turned to meet your gaze. “You're free this Wednesday aren’t you, baby?”

“Yeah.” You grinned at him, before regarding Missy. “I actually only work a couple days a week, Missy. I’d love to bring Josie over.” 

“Oh,” She pursed her lips, folding her arms across her chest. “I’ll have to see if I’m free on Wednesday. How does Thursday look for you, Javier?”

Javi squeezed your hand, looking back at you again. “You’re off then, aren’t you?”

“I am.” You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand. “Missy, give me a call on Sunday and we’ll set the playdate up.”

Missy frowned before quickly plastering on a fake smile, “Sounds like a plan.”

 ———

“Are they all that bad?” Javier questioned once Josie was loaded into the backseat and he started down the road towards home. 

“Hmm?”

“The moms.”

You snorted, “Oh, they’re ruthless.” 

“Jesus Christ.” He shook his head slowly. 

“I personally don’t get the appeal.” You quipped, leaning across the center console to steal his aviators off his shirt and putting them on. The evening sun was catching you right in the eyes through the passenger window. 

“Of me?”

“Mhm.” You smirked at him. “I mean, have you seen Missy’s husband?”

“Baby.” He huffed. 

You let his aviator’s slide down the bridge of your nose, peering over the top at him as he stopped at a light. “What?”

“That’s not fair.” 

“I’m just saying.” You shrugged a shoulder, barely able to keep from laughing. “And Tonya’s husband,” You pretended to fan yourself. “Yet she was all over me for information about you last week.” You cleared your throat, before imitating the woman’s nasally voice, “Where does Javi work? How did you meet Javi?” 

“I get it.” 

“Oh, wait.” You held up a hand. “What was it she said? It’s so nice of you to care for Javier’s daughter like she’s yours.” You gave him a droll expression. “As if that head didn’t come out of me.” You pushed the aviators back up to the bridge of your nose, looking between Javier and Josie, who had already fallen dead asleep in her carseat. “I mean she does look a lot like you.” 

“Nah, she’s got all her mama’s good looks.” Javier drawled out, glancing back in the rearview window. “Let’s rewind to what you were saying about Missy’s husband.” 

You laughed, sinking back in your seat. “He’s not really my type.” 

“What’s your type?”

You tapped your finger against your chin as you thought for a long moment. “I’m a sucker for dark hair and dark eyes.” You mused, chewing at the inside of your bottom lip. “A little grey is nice too.” You glanced over at him, a grin spreading over your lips. “A mustache. Very kissable lips.” 

“Sounds like a lucky guy.” 

“Just as lucky as I am.”  

 ———

You leaned against the threshold of Josie’s bedroom, watching as Javier laid beside Josie on her little twin bed, reading her a bedtime story. You had been insistent that she still needed a toddler bed, but Javier had convinced you that she was ready for a “big girl bed” Mostly so he could lay in bed with her and read to her. 

Don Quixote had proven to be a little daunting for a three-year-old, so he’d recently branched out into Read Along books — mostly Lion King, which Josie had recently become obsessed with. You had to admit, Javier did a killer Scar impersonation that would’ve put Jeremy Irons to shame. He did anything he could to keep Josie entertained and he was fortunate because everything he did became her new favorite thing. 

“You know, I was thinking...” You whispered as he closed Josie’s door shut behind him, lingering in the hallway in front of you. 

“Yeah?” His brows drew together. 

“I think I’m ready.” 

“For?” 

You sighed softly, “To try to have another baby.”

“Is this because Tonya thought Josie wasn’t yours?” He questioned, folding his arms across his chest. 

You had both discussed the potential of having another kid in roundabout ways over the years. Steve and Connie had adopted another little girl from Colombia last year — which had sparked a quiet desire to have two of your own. To have it all; the doting partner, the adoring father, the baby showers, the doctor’s visits. All the little things your pregnancy with Josie had been robbed of. 

You shook your head. “No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.”

“So have I.” He admitted, pushing his fingers through his hair and curling his hand around the back of his neck. “I think we could handle a four-year-old and a newborn.” 

A laugh escaped you, “Yeah. I think we could too.” 

“And you promise this isn’t because of those dumbass women at ballet?”

“Oh, I mean…” You shrugged your shoulders. “I fully intend to flaunt it.” You gave him a sweeping look, “Because you’re all mine to have a family with.” You reached out and traced your fingers over the exposed skin where his shirt was partially buttoned. 

Javier let out a slow and shaky breath, one that seemed like he’d been holding it in for a while. “So this is happening?”

You nodded. “I’d like to try.” 

“Me too.” He looped his fingers into your belt loops, pulling you in to him so he could plant a kiss on your lips. “It’s going to be so different.” 

“I know.” You brushed your fingers along the column of his throat, leaning up to kiss him again. “I can’t wait to see how absolutely atrocious you’re going to be in public.” 

“Oh, it’s going to be bad.” He drawled out with a grin, bumping his nose against yours. “I’m going to drive you crazy, baby.”

“I expect nothing less.” You kissed him once more, letting your lips linger against his. “I bet you’re excited that you can talk to Steve about everything this time.” 

“Best damn part of this.” He teased, his hands curling around your hips. “Aside from the baby part.” 

“Just when I finally get back into shape.” You huffed, draping your arms over his shoulders. 

“You’re not going to hear any complaints from me.” Javier quipped, looking down at you. “I thought you were gorgeous when you were pregnant with Josie. Think you’re gorgeous all the time.” 

You ran your hand up the back of his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Josie’s going to be so excited when it happens.”

“You think?” Javier chuckled. “Though she might lose her mind over the thought of not being daddy’s only little girl.”

“It might be a boy.” You pointed out. 

“Steve will expect us to name him after him. It’s got to be a girl.” Javier made a disgruntled face. 

You laughed, slowly winding your arms around him and pressing your face into his chest. “I’ll stop taking my birth control tomorrow. It’ll take a couple weeks for the hormones to clear out of my system and then…”

Javier wrapped his arms around you tightly, leaning down to press his face into the crook of your neck. Who would’ve thought, way back when, that this was the man that would change your life forever. That made every day an adventure. Which wasn’t to say that he wasn’t an absolute asshole somedays, but you were well aware of the fact that you could also drive him up the wall too. You were perfect counterweights to one another. 

It was crazy to think that in just ten months you might have another baby in the house. 

Colombia felt like a lifetime ago already. The trauma of Josie’s birth — simply a whisper of the past. It wouldn’t be like that this time. This new baby would proudly be a Peña from the moment he or she was born. Javier wouldn’t have to hide his elation, miss out on the sonograms or the heartbeats. He wouldn’t have to slide out of your bed and leave you in the mornings or come home to you late at night.

You were stuck with him. Right where you wanted him. 

[wintersxani]

{Imagine} SW men's reactions to finding out you're pregnant ;) (Prequels+Trilogy)

Anakin - He walks into the Condo located in Coruscant after a long, hard day at the Jedi Temple, while you anxiously wait for the right time to tell him. He makes his way over to you, giving you a kiss like he does everyday. "What's wrong?" He asks, quickly making his way around the couch and sitting beside you. "There's nothing wrong Ani, everything is all right." You say with a hint of excitement. "But you're shaking, there must be something wrong." He says, genuienly concerned as always. He always looks after you and puts you first. "Ani, something amazing has been brought to us." You say, getting teary eyed while caressing his face and holding his hand. "Ani, you're going to be a father." You say with a big smile. "You're pregnant?" He says, a smile spreading across his face slowly. Nodding your head quickly, he embraces you, standing up, and twirling you. You were both going to have the opportunity to raise a child, and the last thing you worried about was the Jedi finding out, because this is the best thing that has happened to the both of you.

Obi-Wan - You wanted this to be special, so you had planned an entire romantic picnic dinner under the stars. Obi-Wan meant everything to you, just like this baby you were going to carry and raise with him. More than anything, you wanted him to be happy about it. Stressing whether or not he would be, your mind flew through many back-up plans but you knew it was just the casual stress. Setting up the dinner on the patio of your home, you anxiously awaited his arrival as it grew dark. He finally arrived, immediatley picking you up and holding you, apologizing for being late while smothering you in kisses. Sitting down on the ground, cushions and blankets providing comfort, you lit the candles, and brought the food. You didn't know whether to tell him before or after eating which captured his attention. Holding your hand and reaching for your face, caressing it, he asks: "Why are you stressing princess?" You couldn't back out of it now, so you knew it was time to fess up. "I must tell you something Obi-Wan." You say as he grows concerned. "Of course my love, what is it?" He says as he plays with the hair at the top of your head. "I'm expecting, Obi-Wan." You say, moving one of your hands to your stomach. He watches your hand movement before moving his eyes to yours. "And you thought I wasn't going to be happy?" He says as you look down, shrugging. "My love, you're my happiness; this is wonderful! We're going to have a family!" He says cheerfully before leaning into you and kissing you again.

Luke - All the talk about Vader was stressing you out, especially since Luke would stop at nothing to bring him to the light. You haven't gotten the opportunity to tell him that you were carrying his child, and weren't sure when the right time to tell him would come. After he found out Vader was his father, everything between you two had slowed down, not seeing eachother as much. Leia tried to fill that empty hole as much as she could as a friend, but it didn't compare to the love shared between Luke and you. When Vader passed, the two of you finally got closer again at Endor's celebration. It had been a month since, leaving you almost a month and a half pregnant with no one but yourself to know. You needed to tell him, & you needed to tell him sooner than later. He & Han arrived home after they went out, leaving you to share your secret with Leia. She was extremely excited to share that she was expecting too. This gave you hope that things would run smoothly, since Han Solo could accept the fact that he'd be a father. Rushing up to him, you give him a cheek kiss while you hug, followed by your lips intertwining. "Hey hun? Could I speak to you for a minute in private?" You say, motioning to Han who rolls his eyes and greets his wife. Leading him to the bedroom, you sit down on the bed as he stands infront of you. "What's going on sweetheart?" He says, kneeling down and resting his head in your lap. Curling his hair around your finger, you think of the best way to tell him. "You know how you were talking about being a father and how much that thought excited you when we started dating?" You ask, continuing to play with his hair. "Are you pregnant?" He says, sitting up and turning around, holding his knees in his arms like a child. "Y-yes." You say in surprise to his quick guess. "Are you serious! For how long!" He says, standing up and pulling you up so you're facing eachother while he holds your hands. "About a month and a half... I didn't know when to tell you with your father and all... I'm sorry." You say, looking down towards your hands that are held by his. Pulling his hand from yours, he lifts your chin to face his. "Don't ever be sorry for something like that sweetheart! This is amazing! We have to tell the others!" He says, picking you up and twirling you in his arms. "You're going to be the best mother, I already know it." He says before kissing you and embracing you once again.

Han - Being the opposite of Han was extremely spontanious. He was outgoing and loud, unafraid and cocky. You on the other hand were quite the opposite. He helped you not be afraid to go out there and be a badass, but you only felt that way around him. He always made you feel like a badass and more than what you considered yourself to be. He'd hype you up, but not too much to the point where other scumbags would try and take you from him. You were his favorite discovery, and treasure. The only problem was you had no idea how he would handle being told that he was the father of the child you were going to birth in 9 months. He was also stubborn and annoying at times, heck, maybe needed some anger management. You couldn't be afraid now, not after everything. Besides, what could go wrong? If you were his favorite thing in the entire world would he throw it all away because of a baby? You doubted it, but also didn't want to think that there's a chance that could be an outcome. You needed to be strong, so you brought him to his favorite bar, getting his favorite spot in all of it. Usually, you'd get a drink yourself, but this time you couldn't. This definitely raised his eyebrow, as it was unusual for you to get blue milk. "Alright, what's wrong now. Please don't tell me you brought me here to tell me you're tired of alcohol." He says sarcastically. "No.. not at all. I can't have alcohol because... well.. because." You nervously stammered. "Spit it out hun." He says, leaning over the table. "Kriff it. I'm pregnant." You say, deciding to be upfront and bold as he'd 'tutor' you to be. "What?" He says. "You heard me." You say, continuing to hold this boldness. "Wait, serious? You're not playing with me are you?" He says getting slightly angered. "Of course not! Why would I lie about something as serious and amazing like that?" You say. "Holy! Wait wait wait... I'm the father right?" He says stopping his laughter. "Of course you nerf herder! Who else could it be?" You say. "That punk Luke who also happens to be my best friend." He says laughing. "You're the father, Han; and I want you to raise our child with me." You say with high hopes. "Of course doll. You're my everything, my world. That baby will grow up to be like me. Girl or boy, baby solo." He says, drifting off in his thoughts, dreamy eyed. He gets up from the table, pulling you into him and kissing you long and passionately. You were happy that he was happy. It's all you wanted, and you couldn't wait for the baby to be born.

[drangues]

Atsushi has heard Momo the husky whine about being talked to in a baby voice one too many times to let it happen again on his watch. Also he just doesn’t want his tiny friends to be uncomfortable, that makes him Sad, and no one can emotionally handle an sad Atsushi. And!!! Yes yes yes, good, Kyouka-Atsushi having a sibling-like relationship is very very important to me, if that isn’t there then I will Cry. But!!! (Nyanon, 1/5)

He’d definitely groom her and aaahhh yes Byakko is like “our cub now suckers” and then she gets a big brother who doubles as a cat when you ask him to. Or if you scratch under his chin, but ssshhh, no one’s supposed to know about that, Kyouka. I’m very sorry I’m just very passionate about the two of them ahaha. Fukuzawa is great and I desperately wanna see more of him being a Dad to the rest of the ADA that isn’t,,, You know, Ranpo. Don’t get me wrong! (Nyanon, 2/5)

I love the two of them, but like. What about everyone else. But as for Team Rocket in a Pokémon AU... Hm. I suppose the Port Mafia could double as a kinda,, Aether Foundation-Team Skull fusion? Or maybe they’re spread across the different teams. Mainly because the Guild is very much Team Rocket for me, haha. Like! Lucy and Poe as Jessie and James fits??? Though not in the romantic sense, haha. Don’t know who Meowth’d Be, though... No, wait, I’m a fool, Carl would be Meowth. (Nyanon, 3/5)

But! Dazai could definitely be a former Team Rocket Member! Anyways, yeah, Atsushi is like. The embodiment of unintentionally chaotic energy? Like a cat that genuinely doesn’t know what he did wrong haha. Speaking of cats- Another Nyatsushi Concept: As a cat, Atsushi actually naps a lot more than you’d think he would, with how hard he works and how little he sleeps around others. Part of this is due to the orphanage’s treatment. (Nyanon, 4/5)

To be fair, it took him a while to be comfortable enough to do it at the ADA, but once he trusted them enough, he was falling asleep and taking catnaps everywhere. He’s a sleepy boy! Also, going a bit off topic, I. I wanna ramble more about my AUs you’re indulging me too much. Help. (Nyanon, 5/5)

me personally? cannot handle sad atsushi i dont give a shit what anybody says or what anyone wants to do hE IS BABIEEE and i agree if kyouka - atsushi dont have a cute close sibling relationship then i dONT WANT IT ill be mega sad man. fukuzawa needs to have more CONTENT, like, i wanna see M O R E of him, more fights, more talking, more moments, mORE EVERYTHING. I WNAT HIM TO PAT ATSUSHI’S HEAD AND GO “good job atsushi” AAAAAAAAAAAA-

and the pokemon au sounds good owo!! FUCK ofc carl will be meowth why did i forget about him-

atsushi having genuienly no idea what he did wrong and just being unintentionally chaotic is so fUNNY TO MESHJKDS and him taking a lot of naps makes me feel so soft 

[pink-imagines]

✨🌹💖 the person sending you this wishes for you to have a great week! to spread some positivity, list 5 things that you've done recently that made you happy. spread the love to your favorite mutuals! 💖🌹✨

thank you! umm... guess i’ll have to make a happy things list...

1. i spent christmas with my family and it was very cozy 2. for the first time in a while i felt genuienly happywithout having a reason to feel that way 3. i started dancing again, though i’m not that good i forgot about it and just enjoyed dancing 4. i started reading books again, something that used to be my favorite thing that i couldn’t seem to do no matter how hard i tried 5. i’ve been expressing myself the way i want to; fashion, writing poetry, painting, dancing, etc. i haven’t felt the need to be better than anyone and simply enjoyed doing the things i love :)

[malexmalereader]

Jesse McCree x FtM!Reader - Because you’re mine

A/N: Requested by @raviolin-down-the-streets ! Very thrilled about this one because I’m a sucker for both proposals and Jesse McCree.

TW: not sure if it Needs a trigger warning, but mentions of past fears of never being loved

“You know, the worst thing you’ve done to me is probably getting me this much into country music.”, you mumble jokingly, leaning your head against Jesse’s shoulder. He lets out a chuckle in his low voice, that sends a soothing vibration through your system as he wraps his arm around you.

The Johnny Cash song playing from Jesse’s phone sets a mood that you can’t quite explain. 

Without Explanation and warning, Jesse had dragged you out to one of your favourite spots to hang out with him - a Little hill, close to a few fields, almost disgustingly idillyc and romantic - it’s perfect.

Though, Jesse had seemed rather nervous since you’d gotten here. No, since you’d woken up this morning and he told you that he had something planned. When you found out that it was just a picnic, you were relieved, there was no doubt about that. 

But you were still curious as to why he had dragged you out here, on this wonderful day - the sun was already Setting behind the trees and you were still waiting for Jesse to drop the bomb. Life with Jesse was on edge, ever since Overwatch fell apart.

He’d been through so much with you, he’d helped you so much to become the person you were meant to be, and just the thought that he might be here to tell you that he has to leave - for whatever godforsaken reason - made you anxious.

“Darlin’?”, his voise is soft as he calls out for you, ripping you from your thoughts in such a gentle way that you almost melted. and that despite all the years you’d spent together. He made your knees weak, and Jesse often mentioned that you did the same to him. You were in love.

A love you thought you’d never have, back when you were younger. But he proved all those dark thoughts wrong. You’d never thought that anyone, let alone you, could be loved this...genuienly. This softly. 

“Hm?”, you hum in response, taking a deep breath as Jesse’s metal Hand travels up from your waist to stroke your hair.

“Can I talk to you about somethin’?”, he sounds nervous. The kind of nervous that spreads right over to your mind. “Are you okay?”, you almost immediately ask, lifting your head from his shoulder to look into his eyes. His hand strokes through your hair one last time, coming to a halt at the side of your neck.

“I’m fine. More than fine. I’m…”, he doesn’t seem to exactly know how to continue. Taking a deep, and slightly shaky breath, he scans your face. 

“You know I love ya, right?”, he mumbles out, taking in the sight of your puzzled expression, your eyes desperately looking for answears as to what he was on about.

“Yes, of course. You tell and show me so often how couldn’t I-”, “Good, good.”, he interrupts you. “That’s all I needed to hear. Now just...please listen to me, honeysuckle.”, you nod, smiling at his words, though there was worry in his eyes. This is it. you thought. He’s going to tell me that something happened. That he’ll have to leave.

“We’ve been together for...a long time.”, he states, and you knew that. “And I- you know, every morning, when I wake up to you I just-”, he cuts himself off, swallowing harshly. “Or when I don’t wake up next to you it’s...weird.”

By now you are completely confused. What is he trying to tell you?

“I- I wish I could wake up to you sleeping soundly next to me every mornin’. Or to you makin’ breakfast in the kitchen...or just...to you.”, he carries on, averting his eyes away from you, your (e/c) ones still desperately trying to meet his.

“I dunno What I’d do without ya. You helped shaping me into the man I am today, You showed me how to...how to love and to trust again. As more than friends. More than just...partners.”, your eyes widen a bit. For the longest time you’d thought that that feeling of learning how to love properly was just something your mind tricked you into feeling because of past...experiences.

“And I want you to be so much more than that-”, he swallows, fumbling for something in the inside pocket of his jacket, revealing a small box and you open your mouth slightly, unsure whether you should just listen or say something.

“I’ve thought About this everyday for at least a year, ‘cause I wanted t’be really sure…”, he continues, now looking into your eyes. “And I realized that a future without you is not a future I want, (Y/N).”, him saying your name like that send tingles down your spine. Not a petname, though they were just as nice. Your Name, out of his mouth in that beautiful voice of his. You swallow.

“So...will ya...ya’know...Will ya marry me?”, he asks and has a bit of trouble opening the small box, but when he does it reveals the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen. It’s perfect.

You swallow once more. “Jesse, I-”, safe to say: you are a bit speechless. This is the love of your life. Everything you could’ve ever wished for and so much more. 

Your silence seems to throw Jesse off his rythm quite a bit. “Look, you don’t have to answear right now if you don’t-”

“Of Course!”, you Interrupt him and he looks even more confused. “I mean, of course I want to marry you! You- I don’t have to think about it this is-”, you take a shaky breath, trying to calm yourself down. “You’re everything and more than I could’ve ever wished for.”, you feel tears forming in your eyes. Tears of joy and relieve.

Jesse looks back at you for a moment before pulling you into a tight, loving hug.

“I love you so much, Darlin’...this really means a lot to me. Thank you so much.”, his voice reeks of joy and relieve, too. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, enjoying the warm and save embrace.

“I love you too, you know that…”, you mumble back. It takes a while before you part, and even then you soon meet again - Jesse couldn’t help it. He just wanted to be close to you as he gave you one of the most passionate kisses you’d ever experienced with the cowboy.

You’re both panting as you part and Jesse takes your hand to slip the ring on your finger. His next sentence is almost breathless, as he leans his forehead against yours, his flesh hand gently caressing your cheek as his metal and rests on your hip.

“You make me so unbelievably happy, Baby. I’m so glad you’re here with me.”

[soopticboop]

hi there boop!! i have a mission today to be the anon of positivity! you are a role model when it comes to spreading positivity and i just want to say that i appreciate that! (also i'm in love with your art but that would take a whole new ask) basically, i need your help: do you know some small artists or people with health problems etc who need some positivity? please recommend and i will check out their blog(s) and try to cheer them up! i also challenge everyone to do the same! world needs it!

Hello anon!! Well that is so incredibly sweet 😭😭 thank you!! How very lovely of you to spread some love! And I’m happy you like my art, that’s so nice to hear! 💚💕 you know, it’s funny you should ask that, because I myself actual have some health issues that’s been a big deal in my life this year, and I was actually going to kinda talk a bit more about it soon! So your message is actually very apt and made me genuienly smile, so thank you sincerely :) xx I hope you have the loveliest night! 💕 x