#{im just doing these while i procrastinate!!!}

[nadinefromwhere]

Self aware (rafayel x reader) part 2

word count: 1.1k

HI GUYS IM BACKKK I JUST WANNA SAY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! PLUS CALEB GIRLIES HOW WE FEELING RN plus enjoy this fic!!! next one will be a xav oneshot~ BUT ITS FLUFFY I PROMISE

Warnings: none

FANFIC UPDATES!!!! ao3 wattpad

Everytime he sees you, the only thing he just wanted was to hug you and never let you go. Sadly, It couldn’t happen since you were both separated by a screen. Yes, a screen.

Today was just any other day for you, Log in the game, do dailies and weeklies and maybe even farm a bit. But now it seems really weird ... .For some reason. Well not the game but its Rafayel.

Usually he’d just say something or probably be reading or sleeping but it's weird… maybe you're just hallucinating? After all, you haven't been sleeping well the past few days since you’ve been working on an art project that's due soon….

“So this is due next week, the other later, and the other….” You count how much was due, maybe around 5 - 10 projects? You slowly start regretting for procrastinating, using that time to farm in the game for rafayel’s latest banner, into the canvas. Make it even worse there was a quad banner after and you only having 300 gems was the worst…..

“I'm sorry raf but i might have to skip this incoming banner” you say sighing in defeat, turning off the game in your phone to start finishing another art project…..

Meanwhile

Rafayel pouts as he sees you close the game, The only thing he wanted in the world right now was to just hug you, not the game you but the real life you. He did notice how stressed you were nowadays, especially the fact that your schedule was packed. Sure he did see the amount of effort you did when farming and also he did find it a coincidence that you went to art school.

He waited…..and waited…..and waited….

Seriously, are you just going to be gone for the next 800 years? (even though it's only been 2 hours but still)

He kept spamming you with messages on the phone, which was very usual of him to do. While you on the other hand was focused on finishing as many projects as possible.

“If only i was there with you….i could’ve helped you out but no, i'm stuck in a screen” he says pouting

.

.

.

.

.

.

A few hours later…

“Well I'm finally done with half of it so maybe i’ll just…. Sleep it off first….” You say as you started to fall asleep while listening to one of Rafayels 4* memories..

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

It was so comfy, like really comfy. You know the feeling when somebody’s beside you and then it’s a rainy morning? Wait. wait this is wrong.

You live alone,

You don't even remember letting anyone sleep beside you yesterday,

NOW WHAT WAS THIS!?!?!?!

You open your eyes in panic just to see him. No other than Rafayel, the very same man that you wished to see in reality ever since you started playing love and deep space.

“Morning cutie” he says, and immediately you smack rafayel immediately, throwing him off guard. 

“Hey why smack me when you could give me a kiss :(“ Rafayel says pouting confusedly on why you would do that to him first thing in the morning. Don't you miss me?? He wonders

“You're real?” you say as you kept touching everywhere, the face, nose, hair everywhere./

“Yes I am real, didn't you sleep well yesterday?” rafayel asks, even though he knew that you probably spent studying until 3 in the morning.

“Uhm of course i did-” you say before rafayel cuts you off

“Liar i know you slept at 3 am so thats means you don't sleep well 😠” rafayel says as he looks at you as if you committed a crime or something.

“Wait how do you know-” you ask confused on how the hell did a fictional character that you loved knows you slept very late in the morning

“Because you left me all alone in the cafe to study silly girl, that's why i know” he says winking at you

“But- BUT-”

“No buts, the only thing i want to do today is just spend time with you” rafayel says as he picks you up bridal style……

The entirety of the day was spent in laughter and enjoyment, visiting the aquarium, painting with rafayel, having dinner with him and the last thing on the bucket list for today is watching the sunset at the beach.

“You know everytime i see the sunset, the first thing that reminds me is you,” Rafayel says, as he interlocked his hands with yours. 

Looking into his purple - magenta eyes before you could even say another word, suddenly you felt like you were falling into the abyss, as if you have gotten knocked out or something….

“WHAT THE-” you open your eyes just to see yourself back in your good old bedroom, same home, same lifestyle. 

“So it was just all a dream?” you wonder, as you stand up from bed. 

As you sigh and get yourself ready for uni, you find yourself lost in the moments where rafayel was doing everything with you…it felt so real you swear that it all happened….

Sometime later you find yourself in the middle of a lecture until you receive a message from an unknown number….

Messages

Unknown number: hey cutie when’s class going to finish?

You're scared. No creeped out to be exact. Who is this? How did he/she find your number? How did the person in question find out you're in class right now? Your breathing becomes heavy as you debate whether to reply or not. At this point the class wasn't the topic anymore. It was about who that was and how creepy they are.

You: who are you? If i may ask 

Unknown number: it's me cutie, the name's rafayel. Did you forget about me? 

You: yeah no way you're actually him creep. Hell no way i'm believing that easily

You close your phone as you block the number, hoping that everything won't escalate later on…..

Rafayel on the other hand, was to say driving to the art school where you study. Having a bouquet of flowers at hand as he was almost near….

“Yeah yeah whatever besides I already blocked the creep so there's nothing going to happen next right?” you say chatting with one of your friends as you walk outside the school.

Suddenly a sports car pulls up at the entrance, before you could react to anything you see a young man in his mid - twenties purple hair and purple - magenta eyes get out of the car with a bouquet at hand as he immediately spots you.

“Hey there cutie, how's life in art school?” rafayel asks, smiling as he gives you the flowers he bought earlier

You missed him. Missed his touch, his whiny voice everytime when he loses the claw machine, and how you and he would tease each other at times.

“Rafayel you jerk” you said as you immediately hugged him, not caring about anyone right now except  for him. 

“I finally found you, cutie. Don't leave me again” He says hugging you back, he finally found you. Maybe waiting for 800 years really was worth it. 

_________________________________________________________ Taglist: @ladyof-themoon

[humans-are-tasty]

[bogkeep]

it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.

it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.

there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.

which made me develop anxiety, to boot.

i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.

in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?

what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?

a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.

sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.

of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.

i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?

look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.

i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.

we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid

[altruistic-meme]

my job is gonna make me buy a watch isn't it 😭

[dipplinduo]

If there's anything you could change about your writing setup what would it be?

Probably not at ALL what you're expecting me to answer with but I'd want better air circulation and more humidity in my current room LOL. I have dry eye syndrome and it gets bad sometimes. Literally my biggest obstacle to writing if not my regular life schedule, which is often obstacle #2.

I already do a bunch of things to protect my eyes and I'd honestly advise anyone to do the same if they notice any issues with their own/these are just good things to do for your eyes in general, as needed:

- Sleep enough. No like really, try to get 8 - 8 1/2 hours as often as you can. Sleep is no joke.

- Adjust the night light on your screen so it filters out a good chunk of the blue light.

- Lower the brightness and use dark modes on literally everything. Get extensions for things that don't have them, especially if you're using them a lot (e.g. I use google docs for fic writing)

- Use a humidifier (in drier environments; this literally ensures that I don't wake up with reddened eyes)

- Use a warm compress on your eyes for 5 mins or so (emphasis on warm, not hot. Be verryyyyy careful not to burn yourself, the skin around your eyes is sensitive).

- Eye gellllllll & eyedrops omg. I'd be dead without them.

- Oh and since I decided to unsolicitedly run in this direction with the ask pls wear sunglasses and sunscreen!!! Even in the winter!!

All of the above is legit a godsent for me and it's been my default for everything since before fic writing because yes I do need all that maintenance for my sensitive lil blue orbs. And they still give me problems anyways. 🙄

The orb part was a joke btw

[freakinator]

if i had it my way i would love a zam/leo/clown/red/mapicc/bacon/minute/mid alliance/team next season

[martyrbat]

im not procrastinating writing by reading comics, im obviously character studying...

[let-me-iiiiiiiin]

New hobby unlocked: I'm reading research papers while sprawled on the shower floor

[stinkrascal]

i got really sick this morning lol so i spent the morning fixing up my oc page for ocs who arent related to ts4/the strauds!! check it out if u want :-)

[chai-en-kaadhale]

and welcome back to another episode of is this normal, is this a product of my competitiveass school, do i need a diagnosis, or do several of these apply?

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me: I should probably clean my room, unpack, find my laptop and finish the work tasks that were due yesterday

Also me: I think I'm going to hot glue flowers, vines, and ribbons to a basket instead :)

[alchemiclee]

jing yuan seems so sad and distant and lonely, especially watching his closest friends fall apart again and again....he's in so much anguish. it makes me wonder how he's still holding it together. how is he not completely broken yet like all his old friends...he must be really strong.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[malleleothreesome]

i wish i could have a silly little day on tumblr but I have to read my 80 page HOA document to see if the boomer condominium overlords will ALLOW me to get my new dishwasher (that i bought on black friday like a true, miserable adult marching towards death) DELIVERED AND INSTALLED on the 23rd as expected or if I have to cancel the delivery because there are too many rules for me to abide by and my soul is simply too tired to jump through the necessary hoops to comply.