#ill do it after i get off tomorrow
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my job is gonna make me buy a watch isn't it 😭
#to be clear I've actually been.... meaning to buy a watch#bc i actually liked having one but it broke#but i have been.... procrastinating it#however the new shit im doing requires me to know what time i start and stop things :')#and like yeah i do have my phone but also i very much try not to pull it out mid-shift bc while I'm sure#that my new supervisor guy would understand that I'm just checking the time#i still remember seeing people walked out of the building for being in their phones on the clock#and i would very much like to remain employed#so... new watch it is#i should....... i should go ahead and do that shouldn't i#Walmart is right next door but that means getting up+dressed+going out+all that in reverse as well#ough#ill do it after i get off tomorrow#i can make it 1 shift with just using my phone + the computers around the factory right?#shh ac
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Half a comic for day one: fave arc/ roll for au! i rolled podcast au, and when i went to spotify to look at my list, i actively had Midnight Burger open and thats perfect so i had to.
What podcast do i mash with the "train traveling dimensions as she gains sentience and godhood while the staff deals with resulting problems" crew other than the "time space universe traveling diner solves problems with the power of science and friendship and jesus (but in a good way)" podcast?
edit: part two here!
#my art#unprepared casters#UC celebration 2023#midnight burger#i dont know if theres Any overlap between this dnd podcast and this audio drama besides me#but i highly recommend checking out unprepared casters arc 11#off the rails#and the 3-shot arc 11.5#on the rocks#or midnight burger. its fun. the characters would get along i think#anyway the other half of this comic (that ill hopefully finish tomorrow fingers crossed. i lost steam after realizing i had to do the insid#of the diner. ugh)#the other half of this comic is just like. if this is pre shot then that would be post 3 shot ish. like a pitstop on the way back to the ba
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Happy new year to the 7 other mysme fans
(no glasses and no gradient map under cut cause i couldn't choose)
#really starting the year off right.#getting back into mysme after five years... maybe ill do redraws of old fanart that'd be fun.#mystic messenger#luciel choi#seven mysme#mystic messenger 707#707 fanart#707mysticmessenger#mysme fanart#this isnt great i havent drawn digitally in a while#but seven bunny is important to me.#<- not true just wanted to draw a bunny and seven.#there was only like 4 other seven bunnies i could find. so i decided to contribute.#also references are very good and important did you know ?#<- had the webcam open whole time for pose reference and it still looks off.#ahem. ill stop now. tomorrow i find out if i managed to get seven route.#oh maybe ill post some sketchbook sevens too tomorrow. been drawing him a lot lololol;#;;;;;;#god im reverting.#hello yes see i draw
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bro I think the 5 day work week has cooked me
#I don't think ive worked so many days in a row in my life#which like. it's about 32 hrs but still#I'm so tired and I still have to write that freaking essay tonight#and it's literally the last night I can do it#it's going to be fine I'll be fine everything is so fine#my feet hurt like crazy but ill get up and do my nighttime routine anyways and I'll be sooo brave about it#thinking about the light at the end of the tunnel*#*drinking a Mike's hard tomorrow night after work#it's the green apple flavor and it's soo good#but even my days off next week are packed lol#🥲👍#anyways. going to be so brave. going to NOT look at my phone after my nighttime routine and going to do my essay instead#heckin rants
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ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut
#i was planning on growing it out for real i swear#but then the back of my hair got to that length (like it always does) where it starts touching the back of my neck wrong and i cant stand it#so i figured I'd juuuuuust get a trim maybe only the back so it wouldn't keep bugging me#and it started off pretty good too she was doing well with everything and i liked the way it looked#then she asked me a question with two options. and i answered the question. and she repeated my answer. good enough right?#well i think she maaaay have forgotten my answer in the span of like 2 seconds bc she started cutting SUPER short suddenly#and now my perm is completely gone lol#i think she's used to going a bit shorter so it looks good in like a week when it's grown out a bit#and you don't have to go back for a haircut every 2 weeks#but like. i would rather not hate my reflection (more than usual) for a week or two while it grows out yknow#eurghhhh it's not that bad tbh ive had haircuts where i wanted to kill myself and this is just 'hmm maybe i should wear a hat for a week'#but still. very annoying. and especially so bc i was actually feeling optimistic with where we were going at the start#anyway there's this weird phenomenon that keeps happening where I accidentally get my hair cut too short#then i decide this is going to be the time i finally grow my hair out for real#and after a while the back reaches that length where it starts bothering me again#and ill get a haircut juuust for a trim#then i somehow end up with a bowlcut#it's an emo bowlcut to be clear. so im not super hung up about it bc i still love that haircut for reasons i cannot comprehend#but everybody else seems to go 'ew a bowlcut why' except for the alt queers who go 'omg gender'#which i consider to be one of the biggest compliments i could ever get. and have gotten. seriously that moment will never leave my mind#like having someone that you consider Gender to look at you and say *you're* very gender? my crops have been watered my cattle have been fed#etc etc. anyway this currently has the shape of a bowl cut but it's too short esp on top#so im back in my 'okay im gonna grow it our FOR REAL this time' phase again. as it goes. like fucking sisyphus.#anyway. im gonna be tearing it up in the pit at origami angel tomorrow so if anybody's also going feel free to join me there#just gotta let off some steam. goddammit i knew i should have gone the queer route and just done it myself. in my defense i still had a perm#and i didn't trust myself to cut curly hair. turns out i shouldn't have trusted the barber either bc she just held it straight out#and chopped right across. and soon the curls were gone and everything was straight. ...that sounds like a metaphor for conversion therapy#'yeah just head into that place by the time you leave you'll be straight'#anyway. sorry for the waterfall of tags if ur still here kudos to you and may you have a wonderful day#mine
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Ougghh...I wanted to draw today but I'm too exhausted 😭😭 Yall should suggest....ppg stuff to draw tomorrow....👉👈
#jane journals#self insert talk#turns out. waking up at 5am and then working a big rush for 4 hours straight w no breakfadt#then taking a hour and a half bus ride home takes a toll on u 😂😂#im not salty (not too much anyway) but woof am i beat! and i gotta do it again tomorrow#i can wake up at 6am instead of 5 tho yaaaay 🥲#but maybe ill be able to at least take a nap after work!!#then i get two days off 😊😊😊#that's plenty of time to draw and stuff and HOUGH WHAT A TIME ITS BEEN LATELY HUH#lotta....new crushes
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This week has been so interesting because it’s the first time in years that I’ve been both off work and on working medication . Feels like I’m like… getting to know myself again and realigning with what my passions and priorities are.
#feeling very very lucky and not taking it for granted#day after tomorrow I go back to work but like I’m feeling like I reconnected with myself#idk I just needed the reminder of what I truly love to do with my time#which is: weird macabre museums - going to plays I’ve never heard of - live music and getting tossed around a bit - watching boats -#and going to very ill-attended documentary screenings#I knew all of this but it’s nice to have a reminder :)#fuck off feliks#OH ALSO USED BOOK SHOPS I GOT A GREAT BOOK ABOUT POLITICAL GEOGRAPHY !!!
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Fuck u I shouldn't have to work on weekends vs Jesus christ I have so much to do. Fight.
#i did fuck all this weekend so its gonna hurt monday when i have to start scrambling#ive gotta do extractions and make media and back up cultures and work on my preproposal#and do 3 assignments rip. ugh im so tried. ill just work on things tomorrow#i have an appointment tomorrow to get accommodations for my learning disability tomorrow and idk what thatll b like#ive sorta got a chip on my shoulder abt using accommodations so im afraid ill come off as rude#but idk itll make me freak out less if i get etra time on exams. i never stay after tho basically i wont use any#so whats the point but everyone is telling me to do it so i am#my mom calls the way i read a lil ADD bc i cant pay attention long enough to make the words make sense bc i get distracted by my thoughts#its real annoying 😒#how to cure that? stop reading. problem solved 😌#unrelated
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the kind of only looking at each other when the other isn't looking sort of dynamic though ...
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#saw fanart where you see two characters look at each other with so much love and adoration in their eyes ... only when the other wasnt#looking at them. thats my kind of brand#thats the kind of love somewhere i imagine myself into having.#broooo the crushing. the ANGST OF THIS. thinking its not requited but man it so IS...#good evening dash its not getting out of my mind any time soon#have messages to get to sending#AND to reply to. im sorry if anyones confused about that.#i am. very excitedly. off for a WHOLE WEEK after tomorrow (technically my longest holiday of the year so far#im planning on doing smth super long in the work universe for xmas u see .... )#if i dont come out of my week next week feeling accomplished ill be sad :')#big love to u alll! ill be in ur dms soon (this is a threat full of love <3)
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yeah I'm not gonna talk abt it am I...
#well thats okay. eventually itll come up naturally. and if not well. it doesnt make me feel very okay. but its not a big deal#and i guess ill meet ppl in the future who will curate a different idea of me and maybe therell be fewer misunderstandings#<- coward who CAN communicate to save their life but not in any lower stakes situation for their happiness n quality of life#we <3 repression n insecurity. maybe if i keep digging at the corner of this bit of the labyrinth with my spoon ill get out someday 😌#anyway.. theres my daily vague vent post got it out of my system#wanted to do it earlier but ended up not having much time after work n then called friends which was nice :^)#also i never have signal at work these days.. my boss has said shell get me on the staff wifi tho cuz i do need it for work reasons#its rare to need it for work purposes bc we all use work pcs n stuff anyway and not rly supposed to use mobiles in the lab#but yeahh.. god i have so much admin shit to sort out also gotta text family back before i sleep i forgot to earlier#its all good.. also my memory foam pillows turned up so i no longer have to steal my roomies extra one for my neck pain <3#ik she was missing it... not to sound like a creep but it was nice that it smelled like her a little. just familiar innit#we're always around each other so its just what being home smells like to me.. listen i have a sensitive nose 😔✋️#if we were a lot closer i would ask if i could sleep in her bed while shes away but we're not so it would come across sooo weird..#and i would feel rly weird abt someone sleeping in my own room without me there. well maybe not actually. as long as they werent snooping#<- guy whose mother used to go thru their shit all the time n struggles to not feel paranoid and distrustful when it comes to privacy#was thinking recently my ideal living situation w a partner would be separate rooms but we still share the bed sometimes#but not every night bc im a sensitive sleeper... but we can switch bedding so i can still smell them if i wake up in the night alone#like how new mothers trying to get babies used to cot sleeping each have a cloth or blanket and swap every night#so the baby is comforted by the blankets smell and sleeps more peacefully.. and momma finds it easier being apart from the baby too#sorry this is getting gooey and weird my meds have been wearing off the last couple hours im so sleeppyyyy 😭#well.... maybe everything can wait until tomorrow..... bed is calling..#goodnight everyone muah#.diaries
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Linktober 2023 Day 16 - Dragons (Roost Island)
Kept you waiting, huh?
Took a break from the daily drawing grind, plus got alcohol markers, to make this.
Dragons? Nah, Dragon Roost Island. One of the most memorable locations in the series with one of the best songs in the series. I gave some alterations, like actual stairs, a pier, and more palms. What the island would more reasonably be like if it were fully sized.
#t blade's drawings#toonblade's art#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#drawtober#linktober#linktober 2023#wind waker#loz#lozww#ww#dragon roost island#rito#rito tribe#the great sea#pls reblog befor liking thank uuu#yeah just had to slow down since i was burning up after daily drawing grinds#still not back fully but i intend to do all drawings in due time#dunno if ill get tomorrows out well see. that one was ambitious and i cant wait to show it off
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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍
#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all#literally my soul is gone or something#i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed#which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better#alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off#like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot#like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy#moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously#but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends#i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help#idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho#like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback#kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk#it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore#but who knows 🤷♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol#that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown#like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way#and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever#and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality#plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good#but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you#but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !
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#personal#soo ive discovered a giant hole in my back tooth because medicare doesnt cover dental except for children#and so i havent been since i was 21 and i try to maintain tooth health at home but im not very good at it#due to being raised wrong about it and also autistic and i cant afford even a basic clean and checkup#which is what i was actually looking in my mouth and deciding i need which would be about 300 bucks already#and now im scared to eat anything because i definitely cant afford to make this worse 🙃#genuinely so much bad shit has happened and every time its like. ok ill pick myself up cause no one else will and dust off and things#will be fine in the end they always are and my heart believes this will be fine too but i dont remember the last time i was#this genuinely legitimately scared. im so scared and i dont know what to do#i know the next steps is to call dentists in my area tomorrow and check if they do medicare but i feel i already know the answer#idk if its better to have looked or to not and be able to live my life but its food time and i cant make myself eat#im scared to make it worse im scared of the pain that might cause im scared of the upward 2k damage costs if it gets worse#fuck#fucking fuck#okok panick attack over i have a two step plan: part one call around tomorrow and see if anyone takes medicare#part two: i have pliars and towels and painkillers and a lot of conviction in both my diy skills and my caring for my own wounds skills#in the mean time just be more dilligent to brush immediately after eating and ill grab mouthwash too as soon as i can as im currently out#i have a family friend whos a vet maybe theyve ripped out a rotted dogs tooth or two before and could help. but ill cross that bridge#when i get to it fir neow i should check with real dentists before making assumptions. and eat because ive been crying and shaking#and was already hungry and now am exhausted. from the aforementioned shaking and crying and need to eat even more#in all cases. dentist on medicare being the best obviously but in all cases im gonna ask to keep my tooth. unless i do it i dont need to ask#but i forgot when i had my wisdoms out a a few years ago. holy fuck that was like a decade ago actually wtf#ima make a necklace out of it since its just the one and not a pair#and just like that things will be fine. as expected as they always are once the panick mode is done im ok i have a plan and im good
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god i really went THREE FUCKING YRS without getting sick i was being so goddamn careful but then my parents got smth and foolish me, didnt step up the level of precaution i was taking around them, and lo and behold, im almost definitely sick
#toy txt post#grumping#AS SOON AS I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK AND DONT HAVE ANYMORE DAYS OFF TOO. GOD. I GUESS ILL FUCKING ASK TOMORROW#IF THEY WANT ME THERE OR NOT. obviously i will be wearing a mask. just. augh#the annoying part is i WAS taking precautions around my parents. wearing a mask around them. etc.#but foolish me let my door be open cos the room is a little warm. so their air conditioner just blasted all their Sick Air right into my#fucking bedroom ig. i have a hepa filter running all the time but it wasnt enough ig#and like. you know. at night when they were in bed id dare to be unmasked outside my room. my mistake ig#i ate food they made. i was wearing a mask around them but not the best mask i couldve cos that one does hurt my nose after awhile#i was wearing a mask around them but i wasnt likiting contact as much as i shouldve. they kept opening my door and coming into my room#before id gotten up so i couldnt get a mask on in time. etc. see. all on me i shouldve known better/s#idk. just. frustrated. i try to take my silly little precautions in a way that not fucking obtrusive to them#cos god forbid. god forbid i ask them to like. idk. wear a mask if theyre going to come in my room while Actively Sick.#or like. not be All Over The House Coughing. idk. fucking whatever. im the unreasonable one i know. my symptoms are not currently that bad#dont know if its covid#doesnt feel worth bothering to do a rapid test cos i keep hearing theyre not picking up new strains anyway and who fucking knows#idk!#i should try to get a little more sleep ig#feels like ill be okay im just fucking. mad
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I'm doing soooo amazing (weeping) like so great and cool (crying) feeling amazing (sleep deprived)
I finally got a load of dishes done though. This, at least, is worth celebrating.
#speculation nation#ive been putting dishes off for weeeeeks#it's better off without a before pic bc y'all dont wanna see what was in my sink before 😐#i will have clean bowls. and silverware. 🥺#i ate cold chef boyardee straight from the can this morning#bc i had no clean bowls and nothing i could possibly use instead. all tupperware used. all microwavable mugs and cups that would fit it#all plates with enough of a lip to hold canned pasta. all plates in general tbh aside from a few tiny plates.#so i ate it straight from the can and u cant microwave a can so i just ate it cold.#not my most dignified moment to be sure. but also not the lowest ive ever gone lmao#Still Pretty Low Tho#but yeah ill have clean dishes. and ill do a 2nd load tomorrow.#im gonna clean up the clutter from my floors. and try to confront the Clothes Problem....#i dont want to try mopping until after the showing if it happens bc im not gonna have random ppl dirtying my clean floors.#bc they WILL just wear their damn shoes inside bc this is america and no one has any fucking manners here.#but whatever. im gonna get my apartment approximately presentable. at least enough so im not mortified by it.#just bc im mental illness squatting here doesnt mean i want ppl to SEE it#thank god i got the worst things done yesterday tho. and today with the dishes.#remaining stuff is mostly just tidying. rather than going through The Horrors lol#sigh. im accomplishing things. unfortunately...#gonna go to bed soon. gotta be up nice and early for more cleaning! :D 😭
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if i think bout ichi going to jiro kasuga's grave and arakawa accompanying him Maybe At Least Once i just might explode
#snap chats#hi everyone. coping with my reality. plus it is fathers day tomorrow#ill save all THAT rambling after The Real Meat alright lemme get that juice out the way#anyway no i was just having an idle thought with fathers day coming up#an i just thought of like. Just-Got-Here ichi wantin to see his Relatively-Recently-Deceased's dad's grave#maybe arakawa wanted to ask ichi to do somethin on X day and ichi visibly is just 😬#obvi he tries to brush it off like Oh Its Nothing Sir Haha :) but arakawa's A Dad.#and grew up with a troubled childhood alright he knows when someones hiding something so he encourages ichi to tell him the truth#such comes The Bean Spillin an ichi's just 'remember how i said my dad died yeah i wanted to visit him that day 👉👈 '#followed up by the obligatory backpedaling But Its Fine I Can Do Another Day ! No Worries ! etc etc#so pleaaasse cut to arakawa making a 'deal' with ichi in that he can go that day but only if he could tag along#ichi's a great kid it's worth visiting the guy who raised him right#im gonna throw up if arakawa just gets a Funny Feeling during their visit yk what i mean#he just feels Especially grateful for jiro and what he did for ichi- doesnt exactly know why maybe ichi really is just that good of a kiddo#im gona make myself throw UP oh my GOD. crying dying etc etc#if you see me write or draw anything after this no you dont#speaking of though Personal Ramble Time i knew i shouldnt have eaten until later this is my karma <- thats not how karma works#i try not to eat in the evening and the time i do unprompted BOOM mother's home. screaming crying yelling#i still had things i wanted to do upstairs too gdi now i gotta wait til monday or like. 2AM ☠️☠️☠️#ok thats all byyyyye im gonna cope with my cringe family situation with projection 👋
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