#{Also attempting to play with colors. This is difficult for me.}

[shiftingmuse]

{Ray} Face 1997

[choochooboss]

Submas Sketchdump Vol. 4 July 2022 Part 2!!

I knew that particular month beat my all time record for productivity multifold but I had forgotten SO MANY PIECES from the original collection!! I think I finally got them all?? More stuff under the cut!!

BREAKMAS!! WIP of the first piece I posted of them, here's the link to the final version! I tried coloring this first but the black & white had ultimately more impact so I went with that!

TRAINS!! I like this base color version too! Link to the final version!

The top sketch is a direct reference to Cluedo! A spinoff game, "Missingo", starring certain familiar characters trying to figure out what happened to Ingo/trying to prove their innocence in the case! Also WIP sketches for these two Breakmas comic pages!

As you may know I adore butlermas! For the classy and stylish look which appeals to me in general, and coincidentally I had played PLA & got hit by submas train only one week before butler Ingo's banner rolled out! The pure bliss of finally meeting both twins in a game I felt was incomparable!! This moment in the Curious Tea Party event was really entertaining to me! We got to see submas get serious and stand up against this selfish collector thief! Two towering train twinks with commanding voices looming over the unfortunate guy was enough to make him change his mind ahah! They truly are the protectors

1-hour submas challenge prompt "Descend"! This is the actual one hour result before I continued rendering this!

Mmmmm not my first attempt at drawing them hug and definitely not my best OR last. I want to make that moment something very special when I finally go all out on it!!

Comic cover vibing~

The scrapped last page for this silly comic! Sorry the dialogue is all over the place on the first piece, might be hard to read! I wasn't happy with how I presented Elesa, I wasn't familiar enough with her character back then so I thought of her carrying a toy taser to threat her friend even as a joke was too much and I couldn't come up with anything else for it. This held me back from posting the other three pages for another 5 months! In the last panel

I prefer to not mess up the twins too much but my brain is still very curious and conjures some peculiar stuff like this sometimes.. I think I may have broken his arms there looking at the anatomy, ooops! I hope you don't mind the photo quality or the two weird guys in the corner, they escaped containment!

Idea of warden Ingo, being projected to modern era by his Alakazam, walking through crowd on a train platform & Emmet standing inside a passing train. Their eyes meet for just a few seconds...

Pokemas Ingo practise!

Another WIP of a piece I posted! I started this piece like this but then later I decided to flip the whole thing.

YET another WIP of something I already posted! No idea why I went and mixed up his suits but I like this sketch! They rarely end up looking this clean haha

Sketch version of the self-defense practise piece! I love getting creative with action stuff! I barely ever think of how difficult they are to draw, I just get so excited and fixated on visualising the scenes in my mind I just keep at it, pull out refs and pose in front of mirrors until it looks good to me! I want to draw more action scenes but besides being challenging to draw my brain comes up with more silly and cute ideas than cool ones unfortunately ahah

One more WIP, here's the link to the final results!! I really like how genuine their expressions look here even if the faces are a little off. I recall spending a long time figuring out this perspective. I thought it would be fun to you to see how all these pieces started and... looking at the sketch above and the stuff before that, you can compare some range of my style!

RANDOM SUBMAS MISSILES GO

OHHH looks like some nasty passengers got the best of them!! If I recall correctly there was no fight because they managed to paralyse the two before they could act. Fully awake yet completely helpless... how convenient unfortunate. Thank you so much for checking these out!! Not every sketch is that exciting but I'm always happy to hear your thoughts on these!

Previous posts: Sketch dump Vol. 1: April-June 2022 Sketch dump Vol. 2: July 2022 Sketch dump Vol. 3: August 2022

[nipuni]

Alright, time to share my opinions about Veilguard!! I have both criticism and praise so bear with me as I jump from one extreme to the other 😆 spoilers ahead of course!

The game has a very rough start with the dialogue being formulaic and rushed and the characters overexposing. It feels like a heavy handed attempt at summarizing all of previous games' lore for newcomers or in case you forgot but it's so overdone it feels coddling and trivializes a lot of previous events. Luckily this gets better once all of the introductions are out of the way, though the excessive hints and clarifications continue until the end sadly.

The locations are absolutely incredible and very diverse!! This is a highlight of the game for me. There is so much detail and care in every map and there are so many of them. My pc is struggling to reach medium settings and yet everything looks stunning. The verticality of the maps is so imposing and the graphics have a very dreamy quality that I love. I also enjoy the maze-like structure to the maps, it's more linear but makes everything look a bit more intentional. The color and light direction was amazing, all the visual development really!! it has to be one of the prettiest games I've ever played.

When I started I have to admit it did not feel like I was in Thedas and it all felt a bit theme-parky, if that makes sense. A lot of previously important and established world elements that made Thedas what it is were overlooked or made irrelevant. But the more I played the more it started to feel a bit more similar to Inquisition, for better or worse depending on what you feel about Inquisition. But!! this also feels like a selectively sanitized version of Thedas compared to previous games. In it's attempt to stay safe and uncontroversial in some aspects it loses a lot of substance and it changes the tone. The surface level politics, ignoring previously established major societal issues and a tell-don't-show approach makes the world seem more simple and shallow with no grey areas to explore. ( the humor also falls flat and out of place often too, and WHY is everyone always smirking, enough!! godlike beings are destroying the planet please this is not the time for Marvel banter aaaa )

The pacing at the start is a bit of a mess. It is so fast it felt like jumping from one world shattering discovery to the next with no time to process. The characters also seem to underreact to important information and major developments. It felt like the game was rushing me through all this to get to the part of the story it wanted to tell me while I was still wrapped in my shock blanket trying to catch my breath lmao. I really like all the key story points they touched upon, I just wish they dwelled more on them to give them more narrative weight. ( though blaming every bad thing to ever happen on the Elves was certainly..a choice )

I think the writing could have used more subtlety in the first half and more boldness in the second 😆 but I loved the thematic parallels between Rook and Solas and how every quest informs the main storyline. I do wish Rook was given more impossible choices and put in more difficult situations that forced them to lie or betray their own to better drive the point home though ( listen I just love a Trolley problem!! we need more of those, I'm the Trolley problem's number one fan!! ) I feel like they missed the chance to put Rook in Solas' role and be as vilified and hated for it as Solas was despite their best intentions which would make Rook's regrets stronger and in turn make their escape from the fade all the more impressive and give them a better understanding of Solas to either use against him or earn his respect. The line 'they called me the Dread Wolf, what will they call you when this is over' from the trailers was so good I was waiting for this!! But everyone just loves Rook no matter what!!

But I feel like I stated too many negative aspects in a row so moving on to some things I enjoyed!

The characters were very lovable to me. The romances weren't as long or impactful as I would have liked but I enjoyed all the companion quests. Emmrich is a delight and his quest is so wild and fun. I loved learning about Nevarra and I was awestruck by the Grand Necropolis. The mourn watch was so interesting, it showed a whole new side of Thedas' lore I knew nothing about! and I loved Manfred! Davrin is so charming, he became a favorite. I loved his quest too and learning more bits and pieces about the Dalish was great, I wish we got more. Seeing the Wardens through his quest also made me enjoy them a lot. Assan was very cute too and I'm glad he was treated as an animal and not turned into a goofy Disney sidekick too much lmao 😭 Lucanis is hilarious. The fantasy Spain/Italy was a bit silly and off at times but he is very sweet! and I love the Spite possession, that was so fun I'm glad they kept him that way! Bellara is adorable, her first backstory quest made me cry and I just love a nerd! I wish the second part of her story was written better however, and she sort of devolves into 'it's hard, I wish it was easy but it's hard' dialogues too often sadly. Anaris and the Forgotten Ones' portrayal was underwhelming and anticlimactic which was disappointing. Harding is also very cute and her Titan plotline was the most interesting to me, I bawled my eyes out in her quest!! I love the dwarven lore of this universe I'm so happy we got more of it!! ( she also fucking died in my playthrough?! I was devastated what the hell 😭 'whatever it takes' WEUEUGHHHG I'M SO SORRY) Neve was a slow burn for me because of my choices in game slowing that relationship down ( saving Treviso I mean, perdón amor 🙏 ) but I love detective novels and she is such a badass I ended up loving her. Taash was unexpected, I didn't think they would be so young. The coming of age story was sweet, though I found myself cringing a lot too at the handling of it I have to admit ( and the Lords of Fortune in general, and the Antaam...and que Qun..listen- kajshfgf ) but I also enjoyed learning more about the first expedition and the Qunari in general despite the messy writing and choices. I also loved Antoine and Evka! and Strife! And I haven't even read any of the novels they are in 😆 also Mila!!!! and her dad oh my god and Felassan haunting the narrative!! speaking of haunting, I would have loved for Cole to be in the lighthouse too I think it would have worked well 🤔 especially with the whole 'reading Solas' secret diary' thing the game had going on lmao

Everyone seems to get along except for a bit of friction that is quickly resolved at the start, which is hmm missed potential? I would have preferred more tension personally. I enjoy the drama! gives me more to work with and gives you a better grasp on everyone's personality by contrasting values. I think they wanted to speed run a found family trope for the new hero to establish some emotional stakes early on but it ended up making everyone seem like a group therapy session instead. The group meetings also have everyone either state the obvious or repeat the same opinion or conclusion to each other, I would have loved these meetings to have more bickering, have people get mad and storm out and also get to listen to different takes on a situation. Make Rook struggle more to take the reins and keep the team functional, learning how to be a leader.

Speaking of Rook! ( who in my case has a northern British accent that I loved so much 🥺) They seem to have a very established personality. I was expecting more of a blank slate but I'm lucky that the personality they went for kind of matches what I would normally choose in a first playthrough. Though the lack of range in the choices is irritating and takes away some replayability and role playing potential. Rook is very supportive and selfless, I wasn't expecting this tbh! But it all made my Rook turn into the team's weird supportive necromancer mom so it worked out in the end I guess lmao. I can't wait to draw her!!

I was so overwhelmed by the amount of information we got about Solas and his past!! I was expecting answers but not these many and not for them to be such an integral part of the plot!! The game feels like it's about him more than anything else. His arc is the best written out of all. He is mentioned in every conversation, he's the main advisor and the narrative foil, you get to talk to him often, you work for him and with him and go into his memories it all feels so surreal to me lmao I love him so I'm delighted ngl! but also making the other Evanuris so cartoonishly evil makes Solas into such an obvious choice of an ally, god of trickery or not, that it sort of takes the decision out of your hands and makes some dialogue options and companions' opinions seem almost nonsensical. I have no idea how this game would feel to someone who absolutely hates Solas' guts honestly. I suppose I will find out soon enough 😆

About Solas' story, I loved it! I somehow also feel that I knew it already, all the speculation and theories that Solavellan fans were crafting for years were so accurate that it was all very validating. Even the wildest ones! Solas as the Maker, the elves spirit origin, Mythal giving him a body, the war with the Titans, the origin of the Blight, Solas being on your side as advisor, I can go on, we knew!! Also I have to mention this I'm sorry but they made him look so hot!! unbelievable. And the bloodied teary eyed pathetic look in the end ouurghhh I'm cheering and clapping!!

The romance conclusion was so lovely 😭 the Loki and Sigyn ending we deserved to such a mythological epic!! and open ended enough for all of us to cook!! and we got to see him fight and transform into the Dread Wolf!! and whimper and cry!! and bleed and love!! that's all I ever wanted, incredible we were really spoiled what the hell I still can't believe it 😭 GDL acting was brilliant as usual! the visuals were also incredible and exactly what I had in mind when I imagined where the story may go, the eclipse, the giant wolf, the glowing eyes, the Elvhenan ruins, the statues, even the hair lmao it all aligned exactly to what I've been painting all these years but better I was thrilled 😭

Solas backstory with Mythal also offers players that didn't romance him a chance to see him act out of love and show a side they wouldn't be able to reach otherwise and I think it was smart! also very tragic and sheds more light into all of his choices and words and his relationship with Lavellan too and the parallels and reversals and uughh thoroughly enjoying the emotional distress 👌

Pleasing both the Solas lovers and haters at the same time was always going to be hard with him being such a polarizing character by design and the world states being so different but I think they did a good job! at least from my side of things.

I think my favorite part besides the Solas related stuff was the Blight. I loved how horrific and gross and threatening it was! I've always loved the concept of the Blights and I'm glad it was such a huge part of the story in this game. I also loved Treviso!! has to be the most beautiful city in Thedas ahhh and the Necropolis!! the gardens!! Vorgoth!!! Kal-Sharok!!! I can't believe we got to see it!! and a Titan!!! the giant floating face of Ghilan'nain in the clouds??? and the huge archdemons and dragons!! oh and that warden dragon trap in the shape of a griffon?? and the giant blight tendrils!! the siege at Weisshaupt was outstanding!! and the floating panopticon castle situation in Minrathous uughh there is so much I loved.

OH I also enjoyed the Varric arc even though I saw it coming since the trailer it was still played well and it was touching 🥺

The ending felt a bit jarring to me in tone though, a bit too cheerful considering...the horrors. Over half the continent destroyed and most of the problems Thedas had before the game are still there. Veil in place and all 😆

But I had fun!! I'm nitpicking really, the conclusion to Solas' story feels very satisfying to me which was my main worry so I'm happy. It is a good game!! with a sort of soft reboot feel to it and aimed at a younger audience which is probably what they were going for? You can sort of feel the struggle the team went through during production in the way the target audience seems unclear sadly. I also can't help feeling like this is an ending, so much was revealed and resolved!! but maybe I feel that way because that is what I felt after Shadowbringers / Endwalker in FFXIV once my favorite part of the story was wrapped? They can always pivot to a new continent and expand on the world and cultures we know almost nothing about, but that is always harder to sell so I have no clue where they will go from here 😵‍💫

Anyway I'm still processing a lot of stuff that I will probably talk (and draw) about later, this is already long enough!! for now I'll look up how to get the artbook because the art direction of this game is fantastic!! I would love to hear your thoughts too really, I'm curious about the experiences of players who made different choices and with different tastes to mine!!

[worldstarz]

genshin men voicelines about you

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

pairing: gn!reader x kaeya / diluc / thoma / ayato / tartaglia / ayato / albedo / itto / kazuha (separate)

a/n: xiao bonus at the end! could not think of anything that wouldn’t feel contradictory to his other voicelines, but maybe i’ll make a part 2 with some other men i missed + eventually with the girls. sorry for anything ooc bc i haven’t played genshin in over a year 😛

cw: blood mention, itto is a loser

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

KAEYA

Oh, [name]? They’re many things, certainly. Dependable, attentive, easy on the eyes - ah, but I can't say too much. Is it so bad I want to keep something precious for myself?

DILUC

You’re asking about [name]? Why is that? …you’re curious about our relationship? I thought I made it obvious that they’re my partner—not for business, but romantically. I like to keep my personal life, well, personal, so forgive me for not divulging too much information.

THOMA

I was actually about to go see them right now! It’s hard for me to get some free time, but whenever I do, there’s nothing better than spending it with [name]! No matter how tired I am, I always feel recharged right away when they’re around, and then I can work even harder!

TARTAGLIA

Do you think [name] would like this necklace? Or maybe this bracelet? How about both? Maybe I should get these in different colors, too. Wait, I think I have enough mora on me to buy the entire stand—what? Why are you giving me that look?

AYATO

A day polluted by meetings with people I do not have the energy to care for, futile attempts at gaining power from my opponents, endless bartering… my, I hate to spoil the mood, but I do need a refresher. Pardon me as I send a servant to fetch my beloved [name] for me. I won’t be long. Once I see their face, we may go back to our discussion.

ALBEDO

[name]? Yes, they’re my partner. …Why do you look so surprised? I know I have said maintaining relationships is difficult, but they are very patient and willing to meet me halfway. I also cannot deny my attraction to them. It doesn’t affect my research whatsoever. Rather, their affections motivate me to research something new everyday for conversations with them. …Perhaps I am also meeting them halfway.

ITTO

What? You surprised a stone cold gang leader like me can score a hottie like [name]? Make this a lesson to never doubt Arataki “numero uno novio” Itto! Well, uh, I gotta admit, they are kinda outta my league… H-Hold on, why do you wanna know so much? You trying to find my weak spots or something? No… you couldn’t possibly… be trying to steal them from me?! Oho, you’re messing with the wrong gu- wait, get those beans away from me!!!!

KAZUHA

If I were to pick between losing my voice or losing [name], may the earth be granted my silence. If I must bleed out for thousands of years for even the slightest chance to lay beside them, may the blade of the sword be sharp. If granting them an eternal life of tranquility and happiness meant sacrificing my own life, my dying breath will be their name.

bonus:

XIAO

*…he blushed and teleported away.*

[anaconamor]

fireplace talks - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: after a eventful holiday dinner, your boyfriend shares his most devoted love language with you by the fireplace.

wc: 1.2k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa 🗣️: EEEWKK okay i literally love this idk why, it’s just so fluffy and warm, ughh… i love the holidays and bf! jude has a special place in mi corazon!! 🤍🤍

“i want to be as close as possible,” jude frowned as he fixed his position, his forehead resting on your neck as his cheek squished against your skin, feeling his heavy sigh as he finally found that spot. his arm was around you as he played with the tiny “j” necklace on you. you felt and heard his soft breaths as a silent air passed.

you both had decided to host a small holiday party in your home, for everyone to celebrate and get together. your friends, some of his teammates, and their family, it was a full house. but it was just those dinners you dreamed of as a kid, no drama just full-on getting along, with a holiday spirit.

what you most looked forward to was the fireplace to which you hadn’t used yet and waited off till tonight's dinner. it had been a funny but difficult task to do, jude struggling with the wood and its attempt to turn it on, hearing small groans and curses from time to time, when in reality all it needed was a bit of gas and old newspaper.

jude had helped you move around furniture and the dining table to fit everyone setting the table cover and its runner, in the kitchen he also helped you with slicing fruit and veggies and stirred the pots. his old rock music played in the back, grabbing you from time to time to dance and spin you as he sang.

yet during the dinner, jude and you were strangers. not intentionally, but you both tended to ensure everyone you loved and cared about felt comfortable and not left out. he did assist with setting the table with the food and extra plates. you greeted everyone as you finished a spicy sauce for the meal, took pictures, and captured core memories.

the evening went from a loud chatter to quiet conversations while drinking some hot chocolate or tea. some of you were inside, or others outside as jude liked to show off the patio he had rebuilt and constructed after moving in. you could hear the tiny kids running as the played tag or hide and seek, or colored in the coloring books you bought for them.

but now it was just you and jude, after saying goodbyes jude had moved his white couch closer to the fireplace where he felt the warmth after purposely turning down the heater. “geez, why is it so cold?” you shivered as you ran your hands over your shoulders. “Don’t know, come here, its warm,” jude said as he showed you the set up of pillows and a huge comforter.

as much as jude loved to be a big spoon, he loved being a small spoon as well, which is why he felt most safe and warm like this on top of you. the room filled with the sound of wood burning and the smell of ashes as it fumed. “you tired?” jude asked, as you had stopped scratching the back of his neck.

“not one bit,” you laughed.

“thank you for everything you did for me and our guests today, i know how much work and dedication you put in for this to be perfect,” jude spoke as he looked up and saw your eyes glow with the fireplace. “it was such a perfect evening, and we both needed it.”

“we truly did, i’m just thankful everything turned out as planned. everyone loved the spritz cranberry drinks, and the cookies you baked, but shh, they don’t have to know they're store-bought,” you motioned with your finger against your lips. jude let out a small laugh and propped himself against your chest.

“what are you thinking now?” you rolled your eyes playfully.

“what do you mean? i'm just sitting up,” jude defended.

“uh uh, you've had this look since our guest arrived and you know me, and i have to know. so tell me,” you pressed, jude shaking his head as he grinned. “i’m just extra thankful for this christmas this year… last year we were barely getting to know each other and i almost fucked that up,” jude grimaced as he scratched his head awkwardly.

it was true! jude and you had slowly distanced yourself from each other after some small miscommunication and you almost ended things because you felt like he didn’t want you anymore. but jude didn’t give up, he made sure to tell and express just how much you meant to him, and since then you’ve been inseparable.

“this year, you’re mine finally, and i get to spend my favorite holiday with you, wrapped up like this,” jude snuggled back and tickled you, hearing your burst of laughter. “i’m serious, just makes me think, this is just the start of something that will last forever,” jude whispered. “i hope you know you’re it for me. there’s no one else i want in this world if it isn't you…”

“jude…”

“i know i may not always be here, but no matter where i am, i’m yours and you’re mine. you have no idea just how much you mean and have done for me, and i don’t know how i can ever repay that. but just know that my heart belongs to you, that i love you, and that i can’t for our future together,” jude declared, from the bottom of his heart, his voice laced with shakiness.

“judeee, why do you always get sentimental with me at this time of night,” you laugh as you feel your eyes sting, your chest warm and fuzzy. “because my love language is physical touch and words of affirmations or whatever the hell you call it,” jude says, kissing your jaw.

“that and many more, hmm,” you run your hand against his back. “you know i struggle putting my words and sorting out my feelings, and i'm still learning how to communicate them, but i’m with you or without you no matter what. you’ve brought out the best of me, make me feel like the luckiest girl, and knowing that i’m with you? i just know im safe and sound from the world... i love you,” you pout, giggling when jude kisses the inner corners of you mouth.

“hmm, you love me?” jude teases.

“no i don’t actually,” you shake your head, jude tickling your side. “okay! okay! i do, i do! i love you thisss much,” you show him your pinch fingers to where jude gives you a look. “that’s not enough,” jude says. “say it, say you love me or i’ll hide your candy stash,” he warns earning a gasp from you. “you wouldn’t….”

“oh i would…”

“iloveyou…” you say stammering and quickly, not liking how he was putting you in the spot. “uh uh, i didn’t hear that right…” jude taunted further, his fingers sliding up your side. “i… love… you,” you said it clearly, jude laughing as he propped himself up and gave you a kiss that had you weak in seconds. “i love you more…”

he was perfect. your life was perfect. tonight was perfect. and in this moment it was perfect.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

5 Literary Terms for Studying Poetry

ABSTRACT DICTION / ABSTRACT IMAGERY: Language that describes qualities that cannot be perceived with the five senses. For instance, calling something pleasant or pleasing is abstract, while calling something yellow or sour is concrete. The word domesticity is abstract, but the word sweat is concrete. The preference for abstract or concrete imagery varies from century to century. Philip Sidney praised concrete imagery in poetry in his 1595 treatise, Apologie for Poetrie. A century later, Neoclassical thought tended to value the generality of abstract thought. In the early 1800s, the Romantic poets like Wordsworth, Coleridge, and Shelley once again preferred concreteness. In the 20th century, the distinction between concrete and abstract has been a subject of some debate. Ezra Pound and T. E. Hulme attempted to create a theory of concrete poetry. T. S. Eliot added to this school of thought with his theory of the "objective correlative."

EUPHONY (Greek "good sound"): Attempting to group words together harmoniously, so that the consonants permit an easy and pleasing flow of sound when spoken, as opposed to cacophony, when the poet intentionally mixes jarring or harsh sounds together in groups that make the phrasing either difficult to speak aloud or grating to the ear. Here is an example of euphony from John Keats' The Eve of St. Agnes (1820):

And lucent syrops, tinct with cinnamon; Manna and dates, in argosy transferred From Fez; and spiced dainties, every one From silken Samarcand to cedar'd Lebanon.

MEIOSIS: Understatement, the opposite of exaggeration: "I was somewhat worried when the psychopath ran toward me with a chainsaw." (i.e., I was terrified). Litotes (especially popular in Old English poetry) is a type of meiosis in which the writer uses a statement in the negative to create the effect: "You know, Einstein is not a bad mathematician." (i.e., Einstein is a good mathematician.) "That pustulant wart is somewhat unbeautiful" (i.e., That pustulant wart is ugly). Litotes is recognizable in English by negatives like not, no, non- and un-.)

SYNAESTHESIA (also spelled synesthesia, from Grk. "perceiving together"): A rhetorical trope involving shifts in imagery. It involves taking one type of sensory input (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste) and comingling it with another separate sense in an impossible way. In the resulting figure of speech, we end up talking about how a color sounds, or how a smell looks. When we say a musician hits a "blue note" while playing a sad song, we engage in synaesthesia. When we talk about a certain shade of color as a "cool green," we mix tactile or thermal imagery with visual imagery the same way. When we talk about a "heavy silence," we also use synaesthesia. Examples abound: "The scent of the rose rang like a bell through the garden." "I caressed the darkness with cool fingers." French poets, especially Baudelaire in Les fleurs du mal, have proven especially eager to use synaesthesia. The term itself is a fairly late addition to rhetoric and literary terminology, first coined in 1892, though examples of this figure of speech can be found in Homer, Aeschylus, Donne, Shelley, Crashaw, and scores of other writers and poets.

ZEUGMA (Greek "yoking" or "bonding"): Artfully using a single verb to refer to two different objects in an ungrammatical but striking way, or artfully using an adjective to refer to two separate nouns, even though the adjective would logically only be appropriate for one of the two. For instance, in Shakespeare's Henry V, Fluellen cries, "Kill the boys and the luggage." (The verb kill normally wouldn't be applied to luggage, so it counts a zeugma.) If the resulting grammatical construction changes the verb's initial meaning but is still grammatically correct, the zeugma is sometimes called syllepsis—though in actual practice, most critics use the general term zeugma to include both the grammatical and ungrammatical types interchangeably.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References

[feverdreamjohnny]

The Epitaph of Anything Goes

I decided that this morning I would talk about The Museum of Anything Goes and the subject of lost media.

For the uninitiated, The Museum of Anything Goes is an obscure "game" released in 1995 by Wayzata Technologies, a company that is so far under the radar that I was unable to find any useful information about it outside of TMoAG.

All I could uncover is that they published a few multimedia projects (which are essentially lost now) alongside some asset discs (clipart, SFX, etc.). That's it.

The brains behind Wayzata are even more difficult to locate these days: there are only two main names credited inside of TMoAG - Michael Markowski and Maxwell S. Robertson.

The game alleges that Michael and Maxwell are well known in the art world, but any additional information about the duo is scarce beyond the confines of the museum. Attempting to search for either name online turns up plenty of rabbit holes - but none of them have anything to do with the Michael and Maxwell responsible for TMoAG.

This is particularly fascinating because it essentially means that TMoAG is the only accessible record of their lives. Before we dig any deeper into that statement, let me step back and actually address what this game is.

The Museum of Anything Goes is, by definition, a virtual art museum. Functionally it's a prerendered point-and-click adventure game where you can explore a bunch of multimedia exhibits that give the surface-level impression of a children's edutainment game, but once you start exploring further it reveals a side that firmly plants the game's feet into a haze of substance abuse and surreal humor.

Many exhibits are essentially just toying around with the astonishing new powers of CD-ROM. Everything has to make noise. Everything has to spin and flitter around. There's an air of genuine excitement for the medium, and I can't help but find it extremely charming.

The game also functions as a scrapbook, filled to the brim with photos of random trips to the zoo and snow-mobile rides with friends. At one point we even get insight into something as specific as Michael's one-year job as a tutor at a Chicago middle school, where he talks about how it opened his eyes to how poorly funded and mismanaged the school system is.

It's simultaneously quaint and chilling to see so much personal history packed into a world doomed to obscurity. As I explore the deeper parts of the museum, I contemplate if the creators are still alive today. It's a bit morbid, but imagine that - you create a single obscure game with your friend and it's all the world can see. TMoAG is currently the only surviving piece that gives any insight into who these two men were.

While many exhibits are lighthearted or nonsensical, there are occasional moments where the game dips into the eerie.

One exhibit has the player kill a man by dropping him from the sky, and after burying him you open the coffin to a video of a rotting pig carcass being put into an incinerator.

Other exhibits just feature simple 3D renders shifting around a dark screen while haunting groans play in the background.

While I would never refer to the game as "scary," its darker moments combined with the occasional mature subject matter definitely begs the question: Who is this game for?

You have to remember that this game came out long before the concept of "alt-games" had become codified in the digital space. Sure, unconventional digital art had been around before the advent of 256 colors, but TMoAG was being sold on disk as a game! It came out 2 years after DOOM hit shelves!

The trend of using the PC for entertainment was certainly on the upswing around that time, but It's not like TMoAG had a massive audience to find a niche in. With its mature themes it certainly wasn't suited for the kids market either, so who was it for?

At the end of the day, it's a moot question. We already know the target audience for The Museum of Anything Goes: Nobody. It doesn't have an audience because by its nature, TMoAG wasn't being made FOR someone, it was being made BY someone. It's a raw, unfiltered form of personal expression.

I think games like these are pivotal, because they question why people assume a game has to exist for the sake of being a consumable product. TMoAG certainly has the shape of a product: it features an intro cutscene, it has a tutorial, it features intuitive UX, it even has a map! These are all features that are solely integrated to provide comfort to an end-user. But once you actually wander around the museum for a bit, you realize how bizarrely its packaging fits its contents.

I think TMoAG is criminally underrated. It's not because its core content contains some earth-shaking truth, it's because the game defied all odds and cheated death.

How many thousands of other personal projects were deemed a little "too exotic" to be archived? How much history was lost these past 40 years as the digital space evolved and ate its old skin?

God knows how many other TMoAGs we'll never learn about because they weren't lucky enough to be preserved.

The Museum of Anything Goes isn't just some nonsensical art piece, it's a grave marker for so much lost media. Its existence is a reminder that some people's lives were fossilized, then macerated into nothing because a construction company built a skyscraper over them. The only evidence we have of those other games existing is this little fossil that somehow slipped out from under the skyscraper unscathed.

Even though so much has been lost, TMoAG survives as an epitaph.

[roots-symphony]

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don’t really buy into the whole fuckboy agatha/turbo virgin Rio narrative. Like it’s fun to play around with, but I don’t think it’s as canon as some I’ve seen some ppl say. I think it’s just one of like many possible interpretations of what their dynamic could have been, and tbh I think we’re all sleeping on the funniest one. Let me explain:

Agatha fucks now, that’s super obvious but there’s also been like how many centuries between now and when she was younger/met Rio? Agatha grew up during a very puritanical time, in an isolated coven, with an abusive mother, could she have been sneaking and getting action/figuring herself out on the side? Definitely. But I feel like she would’ve been more focused on trying to sneak around and learn magic and (depending on just /how/ isolated the coven was, which the ones we saw her and Nicky go through ranged from super small family to a small-medium community) might have not been either a lot of options and/or the options there were would have been like difficult to do anything about. We don’t know when she meets Rio, but presumably not /too/ long after her attempted execution just based on when Nicky was born, so she definitely in this time could have come to an understanding of herself and her body, especially in regards to how she could use her ~feminine wiles~ to get by with her entire support system gone. But I feel like another way to look at it, is that while she may not have been able to experiment as a teenager, she definitely could have run into some inappropriate books while reading the magic books she also wasn’t allowed to read. That plus just probably the whole way sex and everything was viewed during that time, I feel like she could easily come up with some weird ideas about what sex even is.

And Rio has been around for like ever. Do you know how many humans probably died doing weird sex things?? Rio knows what sex is, but her view of it is probably super skewed. (Also, we don’t see Rio from a point before Agatha which is unfortunate because all her focus after agatha is like… /on/ agatha so we have no way of knowing if she had any curiosity regarding humanity or any of the things she saw. She definitely could have experimented in her long existence, we just don’t know. Which doesn’t really matter to this, I just want to point out that even that is up to interpretation and is based in canon literally just as much as virgin Rio [which is to say not at all])

Anyway I think we’re all missing the funniest way to read this, which is /both/ Agatha and Rio having wildly different and also just wrong ideas about what sex is/how it works, and just trying to figure it out together like the blind leading the blind with all their directions based around colors. Bonus in that Rio could probably say some buckwild shit and Agatha ‘fake it till you make it’ Harkness would probably be like ‘well yes, obviously that’s how you do it’

[maggstar]

𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐞

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+, mni DNI!

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 365 days since the incident, in which Heeseung's life turned upside down, is today. Will he be able to save her this time?

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, hard angst, veryyy emotional, trauma bonding/coping, cop!Hee (injured reader, guns, shooting, kidnapping, violence, death) kissing, biting, marking, handjob, oral (f. receiving) , fingering, vanilla, very intimiate and loving unprotected s3x, missionary, spooning, lotus.

!!!TW: ED, suicidal thoughts, mentioned attempts, s3lf harm (both characters)

𝐖𝐂: 21k+ (ehm..., yea)

𝐀/𝐍: Finally. It is here. this one is for ♡ anon. ily. I want to say I loved writing this whole fic even though it was emotionally difficult. I wrote about heavy topics, so please be aware before reading as this might not be everyone's cup of tea! Both characters are in pretty messed up mental states, but their love to each other is what keeps them going. I hope you guys enjoy this fic as I never put this much effort into any fic before.

Please leave any sort of feedback: reblogging and commenting is the best for me, so let me know!! ───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

As Heeseung approached the town, he immediately recognized the steep, rocky road that led to the street of his most ominous memories. Despite the passing of a year, everything remained the same. The familiar layout felt like coming home after years of being abroad. In a way, he had been. 

He found it amusing how visiting his past brought such mixed feelings. Given how messed up things were before his departure, he was afraid to face all the negative emotions. Merely thinking about the events crawled an uncanny sensation. 

Yet, here he was, letting the comforting sentimentality alight on his heart and beam at the faint breeze entering through his window as he soaked up the evocative atmosphere. It had a hint of gloom as the rain amplified with his reappearance, making the ominous night colder than usual. Goosebumps took over his body, observing the surroundings while the car shifted its gear to neutral. 

The park was abandoned at this time, reminiscing on the children's laughter in the evenings, playing for hours without a care. He liked to come there after work, sit for a few minutes, and listen to them. They still had the monkey bars and pirate-themed wooden ship in the middle of the playground, which he helped paint. 

He examined the residences next to his old one, all appearing the same. Looking at the colorful houses with picturesque gardens pierced an arduous nostalgia. A few had undergone reconstructions as the previous owners seemed to have parted. 

Some even had new furniture or repainting, their garages containing bigger and more luxurious vehicles. New additions like swings or slides for children were also notable. A small number of areas were also seemingly building new homes for the future, expanding the population in the tainted town.

With a glance beside, he examined the house he spent his student years in. 

"Would you look at that," he scoffed, studying the untouched exterior, still covered in that sensational buttermilk paint. 

Even the pecan concrete tiles on the roof were there, with additional solar panels. The current owners also installed a masonry chimney to the side - something he had always wished for but couldn't afford. 

They were definitely more knowledgeable in Botanics than he was. The garden looked completely different. The condition Heeseung left it in was atrocious, with dead flowers and dried weeds scattering the place. Zora Neale Hurston once quoted: "Trees and plants always look like the people they live with." He didn't know if this disclosure was comical or tragic, heavily soughing instead. 

Currently, the place had more of a Japanese style: a little lake in the middle underneath beautiful white lotuses. Oak and cherry trees surrounded the layout, whereas perfectly cut bonsai trees greeted passers-by in the front. The family likely had their roots there because it was uncommon to opt for this type in this area. Yet again, he was inexperienced in this topic, so who was he to say anything? 

He sighed, lowering his head to take a deep breath to process all the garnering memories reaching the surface from the seabed. It was bound to happen, and he still didn't manage to prepare for it. 

Back then, there was too much weight on his shoulders. From college to his family, there was only so much a teenager could handle. 90% of his memories were the ones he sincerely wished to omit evermore. He didn't want to rub salt into his wounds by reliving them, aiming to concentrate on the better side.

After all, it was this place he achieved and lost everything at once. The city that welcomed the lost pup with open arms after the death of his parents, soothing with empty promises and fraudulent head pats. 

Back then, he was too naive to differentiate malicious intentions, foolishly jumping onto every proposition. He thought people wanted to help and not take advantage of his incapacity, that they would aid the broken one with the loving words he needed. 

Fundamentally, he was an emotional wreck, emptiness and numbness following him all day. 

There wasn't anyone left in his life, just miscellaneous pictures gathered in a photo album and recollections of happy moments in carton boxes. Going through their belongings hurt more than anything, smudging their smiles with tears and repeated callouts to which no one could respond anymore. 

In other words, it was the worst period of his life.

His nights were established on puffy eyes, a terrible headache, and a stuffy nose, suffering in silence for months. The money he was supposed to spend on food went to tissues, trashing the whole place. Getting up in the mornings was incredibly demanding, failing often at convincing himself. Staying in and laying in his PJs permanently tolled more promising.

No one seemed to care about his late arrival to classes anyway. The teachers were the exclusive individuals, questioning his defect of attendance and interest. They often came to various false conclusions. They didn't consider asking for the real reason behind his struggles at handing in assignments and essays on time without lying to dodge admonitions. 

In the same way, no one doubted the sunglasses he wore every day. They assumed it was part of a fashion trend when, in reality, it was an excuse to hide the redness and semicircle exhaustion. 

The clothes that fit him weeks ago began loosening, appearing enormous on his underweight body. When his friends pointed out his lack of appetite during lunch, he put it behind him and led the conversation in another direction. That way, he felt he had control over reality. 

In reality, he knew it was avoidance. He wasn't ready to concede he was struggling. Something wasn't alright, and he deteriorated with each passing day. 

Reminiscing on the past, optimistic Heeseung wearing a warming smile mirrored the numb motionlessness, not containing enough confidence to face the drastic and tragic change.

The only courageous people were the Choi family. 

He turned his head to the left, catching a glimpse of the elderly couple sitting at the table inside their closed terrace. They were laughing and enjoying dinner, accompanied by two other people, handing out the freshly grilled food on their plates. A little boy was attending the meal as well, gesturing widely. He leaned forward to examine the guests, scanning their faces. For some reason, they were so familiar...

"No way," a gasp forsake, realizing that turn of events. 

The handsome, tall young man with an athletic build was no other than Choi Hyun-woo, the son of the married pair. Heeseung facepalmed himself for taking so long to figure out his identity, doubting his dexterities.

His parents had introduced the two after a few weeks of Heeseung visiting. Around that time, he was in a custody battle with his dangerous wife. That adjective was an understatement when considering her malicious threats. They were predominantly about hurting their son if he didn't leave her alone or running away with him.

That wasn't the only crazy part. The more unsettling information he learned, the more he feared for the safety of the small boy. Besides being mentally unstable, she also struggled with psychosis. The doctors warned her countless times, but she didn't reflect on any of their words when entering a new relationship. If anyone was the victim in this situation, it was Hyun-woo. 

Seeing them reunited was all he could have ever wished for them, smiling at the cheerful sight. 

"Thank you for being here for us, Heeseung. We just want you to know we're also here for you," he could hear the oldster sighing while patting his back, sensing the weariness from the mere flicker.

"We're all humans in the end. Even the strongest ones cannot lift the weight the world pushes on us." The stogie burned further whenever he would take a whiff, passing it on for a moment of peace.

"Life hasn't been easy on you, has it?" the bearded man turned to face the youngster, quietly sitting and observing the night sky. 

"No, sir, it hasn't," he took the long roll of tobacco to try it out, analyzing its shape and thickness.

"Pretending to be happy when you're in pain is an example of how strong you are as a person, Lee."

"Never doubt your strength, you hear me?" he repeatedly swung his index finger to reprimand him. 

"Yessir," Heeseung nodded before inhaling the cigar, not foreseeing its power. On the other hand, the veteran couldn't help but enjoy the outcome, laughing as he expectorated. 

"How can you smoke this?" he punched his chest numerous times to get the bubble of smoke out of his system. 

"Times were different back in my days. We had nothing else."

"Still..."

"Do one thing for me," the senior flipped the page, taking another load and slowly exhaling a white cloud into the cold fall night. Heeseung faced him after successfully getting rid of the awful irritation in his throat. He sat there, waiting for another round of sagacious words from the wise man. 

"Don't give up. Whatever it takes, don't give up, son. Even when you feel like there's no purpose, don't because nothing lasts forever. It will get better."

It was those words that made Heeseung push through the days. It was almost unbelievable how much of an impact it had on him. Never in a million years would he have thought a motivational speech could get him back on his feet. Then again, he never gave anyone a chance to see behind his facade.

Although they were the ones who required assistance, Heeseung ended up receiving all of the help. 

"Have you eaten? No? That's unacceptable! Come over as soon as you're done with school!"

Mrs. Choi's disappointment still rang through his ears, envisioning her in her French kitchen with a spatula in her hand. It was a vista he missed, alongside the delectable smell of her exceptional cooking.

She constantly checked on him, calling once his school was over and asking if he needed anything. Cooking him meals became a habit whenever he stopped by to help in the garden, practically shoving packets of food into his chest. She knew it wasn't much, but for Heeseung, it meant the world. Knowing that someone actually appreciated his company and cared about his well-being without solely thinking about theirs was unknown. 

So unknown that in the beginning, he assumed the lunch boxes in his backpack ended up by accident and that Mrs. Choi had mixed it up. 

That's how messed up people have been to him that his mind found it unbelievable. Every bit of aid had to have a twisted meaning behind it because why would anyone care about him? No one was there when he was bereaved. No one came to say their condolences or ask if he was alright. It was just him in the columbarium as he placed the ceramic pot with the last remains of his loved ones into the repository. The sole visitor on his free days, leaving the deceased ones' favorite snacks underneath their memorial. He was the boy the guard always had to wake up and send home. 

"It's just thee, thy, and thou, huh?"

"Yes, Mr. Choi."

It is how he achieved his dream and became a successful officer and the person he is now. 

All the hardships and woes he underwent in his early adulthood built up the future he worked for without resting. The mornings and nights would meld into one, struggling to distinguish AM from PM. Around that time, his coffee intake started slipping out, and he tried out every possibility to stay awake and finish everything. 

So much he had to do in such little time. Heeseung didn't understand how he finished it, but his body did. It was giving up, slowly but gradually, because he wouldn't stop pushing the limits. He thought he could do more each time, twisting the meaning of "just a bit more."

One day, the strings finally tore off, and his body had enough. 

Without looking back, it gave in. It handed in the shattered pieces of his soul to the unknown, streaming down like a feather. Nothing had left within, no recollections to reflect on his actions. All his hopes had dashed, molding his fears into a vase of entrapment. The more he tried to climb out of the well, the deeper he fell back, the walls elevating. He screamed into the darkness, the exclamations reflecting due to the scarcity of allowance. 

The next thing you know, he woke up in an unfamiliar and cold environment, with doctors coming in and out. They kept asking various questions and filling out some forms before leaving. The 

He expected the nurses checking up on him now and then to answer the question marks in his head, watching them flush the tube in his nostrils.

It was when he opened his mouth to ask about it that one of the nurses responded, explaining its essential purpose.

She called it "Nasogastric tube feeding". A line delivering nutrients directly into his stomach through his nose. Heeseung kept listening while the woman cleaned the skin around his nose with a warm washcloth, describing his situation. 

Apparently, he had been in the ICU for a few days, and the doctors ran various tests to unravel his deficiencies. The stats showed the deceleration of cardiac activity, leading to low heart rate and blood pressure. They also mentioned low body temperature, which Heeseung had been battling for centuries. It exemplified why he felt faint and weak all the time. Maybe it even answered his apathy toward life.

The results of his BMI indicated severe underweight, whereas the blood test showcased micronutrient imbalances. Heeseung couldn't fathom all of the details his doctor kept streaming, closing his eyes in a vain attempt to ignore the consequences of his stubbornness and lack of eating. 

Not only did he have to wear a plastic tube, but he also had to talk with dietologists and healthcare professionals to make changes in his life.  

Heeseung loathed it and didn't listen to anything they had to offer because, in his mind, he had already decided what was best for him. Suggestions like attending occupational therapy gave him a laugh, not comprehending the reason for such an absurd and useless alternative. There was still a belief that everything was alright, and the situation was being blown out of proportion. 

Even after all that information, he refused to accept reality. If he did, he would have to reconcile with his aggravating condition and shape. He would have to acknowledge how bad the situation was. That if he didn't take action now, it could end terribly. 

And Heeseung wasn't prepared to admit it aloud. Admit he had been suffering for so long that he lost track of days because they began blending into one endless loop where he couldn't live in peace. Confess the terrible feelings of hopelessness, loneliness, and emptiness. The feeling that he woke up to bypass that motivating bright sun hiding behind those dark, self-destructive clouds. The ones which slowly perished his soul.

Disclose the deep yearning for love, tenderness, and affection lingering in his sore throat. Reveal the hope to knit his tattered heart, wrapping around his neck so delicately that he didn't want it to stop. Divulge the need to end everything trussing in the back of his head, increasing whenever an obstacle occurred, doubting everything about himself. Concede the crossing between life and death, questioning the meaning of existence. 

Relent that the word suicide kept repeating in his mind like an old cassette player, seeing the curse inscribed over everything. Allow the guilt to take over and condemn him for leaning towards the balcony whenever it whispered the word "jump". It conveyed it so alluringly that it made him go crazy, holding onto the railings in pure despair. 

Describe how sharp blades appeared veracious. Explain why he deleted the Google search history to hide the questions on overdoes. 

He wasn't ready, but he had to be. Otherwise, he would ultimately lose himself in the hollowness and disperse forever. 

So, he decided to bite the bullet and push through by turning the page.

Thanks to his determination, he could now sit in a police car and help those in need. Do a job where he could be the person he needed others to be at his lowest. 

There had been one. However, Heeseung was forbidden from ever thinking about that person. 

Why? Because he made the biggest mistake of his life, which he atoned for till today.

A beautiful mistake that he deeply missed every hour, every minute, every second.

"Dispatch to Patrol One," the sudden statistic transmitted through the two-way radio, pulling back the officer from daydreaming. 

"10-04," he quickly responded, grabbing the transmitter and acknowledging the callsign. 

"Are you alright, sir?" the worry conveyed, belonging to none other than Seo-Jun. 

"Yes," He sighed, resting his head on the steering wheel. 

"Sir, pardon me, but you don't sound like it," the young officer evoked, tentative about probing her senior. 

She could hear him repeat the proverb: "Curiosity killed the cat." It wasn't her best trait, and she knew it. It was always these times she couldn't help but push it forward and let concern get the better of her. 

After all, it was Lee Heeseung, the guy who managed to turn her life over. 

If he hadn't helped her escape from her toxic ex-boyfriend last summer, she wouldn't be sitting in the obsolete office now. She was lucky to dial 112 in time and come out alive. If he had been a few minutes late, she could have suffered to death from the undying abuse. The memory was deeply engraved in the depth of her heart, recalling him standing by her side during the hospital procedures. He never wanted to admit it, but he was the town's hero for saving the mayor's daughter. 

Therefore, her gratitude towards him was prodigious. And for the same reason, she wanted to be there for him during tough times. No matter how hard she tried, her approach would emerge unsuited and unfit each time. People told her to get ahold of her steps countless times, and she still made the same slips every time. Nevertheless, she didn't give up and reached out to dial the official. 

"Seo-Jun, I-"

"My apologies, sir. I've crossed my line," she hastily tried to cover up her actions, slapping her forehead for being nosy and pushy. 

"I'm not okay," the voice on the other side emitted into the discomfiting silence, a heavy sigh following the statement. Seo-Jun opened her eyes to perceive the sentence, staring at the floor beneath her as the declaration reiterated in her brain. She widened her pupils when she finally realized what he had uttered, almost falling off her chair after swiftly turning and grabbing back the radio. 

"Sir, is this about the note you've received?"

"What note?" he frowned, backing up. 

"Well, you've got a message on your account, and you know it goes through me first, so I might have accidentally read what was on it-"

"What note are you talking about?" The stern change in speech startled her, contemplating if it was due to her admitting her horrible demeanor or the want of information. 

"The one that states: Broadway 123, 11:30 PM," she reread the email, stuffing her mouth with another strawberry-flavored lollipop. At this point, it was a miracle her teeth hadn't fallen out yet. 

"Any signatures?"

"Just two initials: K.J."

Heeseung's stomach dropped at the revelation, which only confirmed his prior thoughts. It was the 13th of March, after all. What was he thinking?

He looked at the time on the display, typing in the coordinates to the navigation. It showed an estimated arrival in 15 minutes. His jaw clenched, attempting to pulverize the inexhaustible alarm ringing in his skull.

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me earlier?" his panic disseminated into anger, hastily starting up the car. He grabbed the gearstick, his leg pressing the accelerator. 

"I'm sorry, sir. I thought you knew about it."

"You know goddamn well I never check my email," he shifted to 3rd gear already, turning on the emergency lights on the car. They switched from one color to the other, the sound of sirens following right after every blick. 

"I'm really sorry, sir, but what does it even tell? It sounds dangerous."

"Cause it is," Heeseung cut her off, "and that's why you should have told me earlier." 

Seo-jun's voice went quiet, the time on the call prolonging without either side speaking. 

She had nothing to say, as she realized the severity of her actions. 

Frankly, she had difficulty understanding the whole situation and why it aggravated Heeseung this much. She stared at the email, trying to find a hidden clue or something that would cure her curiosity. 

Despite her attempts, she ended with disappointment, leaning back on the chair with a loud sigh. 

She turned her head to the side while Heeseung turned his back on the road, which was moderately clean, with no traffic jams preventing him from reaching his destination. Most cars quickly reacted to the situation and pulled to the side of the road. 

He looked in the rear mirror, seeing a silhouette sitting in the backseat with blood all over her face, a faded smile visible. 

"Help her, I beg you," The voice echoed in his ears as he made a left, entering the mentioned street. 

He fought the unwanted shakiness in his body, the sentence replaying like a broken cassette, causing him to break down the walls he had built in the past months.

He had to be more collected. His duty was to stay calm under pressure and not to invoke panic, but here he was, gripping the wheel too much. His nails began to hurt from the prolonged force, eyes ungluing from the road for a split second. He looked at his image in the mirror, sensing a faint taste of blood. There, he could see the deep cut on his lip, his teeth responsible for choosing the wrong coping mechanism. 

He could also see the same hopeless look as the one on that day, anger building up from within to curse him for being a wreck in such a crucial situation again. The consequences of it taunted him, internally punching him for his incompetence. An officer who couldn't control his emotions was the same one trying to rescue someone. He couldn't even stop himself from deteriorating, and here he was, seeking to thwart others.

It was all foolish, just like he was at this moment. 

What a fool he was for wanting a chance to right the wrongs. 

Without a second thought, Heeseung immediately parked near the reported location, practically jumping out of the car. He checked if his gun was locked and loaded again before heading out. 

He looked around, eyes looking for potential gang associates in the surroundings. He expected at least some bodyguards or watchdogs near the building, but no one was around. Grabbing his flashlight, he took an overhand grip, shortening the distance to the building with each cautious but fast step. 

The residence was outdated, definitely abandoned by the looks of its upkeep. What seemed like a factory was now an empty, deserted residence. No one had visited this place for a long time. 

He approached the door, reaching the porch to see if anything was happening inside. 

The front door was locked from the other side, the darkness concealing the image inside. Heeseung had to go through the back to enter, listening for any noise on his way. It was too quiet for his liking, not a single peep emanating from the residence. He climbed over the wire fence, sucking up the pain the metal left after puncturing his skin. 

Nothing was more important than reaching inside.

He did suspect the message, wondering if it was another prank pulled by the bored teenagers. Sadly, it happened quite too often, with them lining up the emergency number and creating false stories to bring out the hirelings for their entertainment.

Still, none of them knew about his past, so the chances were nearly impossible. Not even his colleagues knew why he decided to take a day off today. They had zero keen on why this day was so important for him. They had no idea it was this day that turned his life around.

He took a position behind the wall as he glanced for the back door, peeking out carefully. To his surprise, it was wide open, bestowing him an entrance. 

He approached it slowly, looking out for a possible intruder since the unusual stillness wasn't preventing the tension in his muscles from stiffening. When he met no obstacles, he determined it was clear to proceed, stepping inside.

The uneven concrete underneath welcomed him back, permitting a path towards the middle. Just like last time, he thought to himself, before approaching the cursed center. 

Here.

It all happened here.

It was where he found Seo-Jun. Right here. 

He could see the silhouette in the wooden chair, bound by duct tape. He could still feel the hopelessness and helplessness.

A supposed rescue mission turned into a shootout, in which he had zero back-ups to overcome the opponents. 6v1, and Heeseung barely came out alive, with one bullet shot in his right arm. The female he was supposed to save bled out on the spot because of fatal injuries, and there was nothing he could do to help her. He tried so hard to stop the bleeding and apply as much pressure as he could in his injured condition. All just to witness her slowly part away in his arms with a painful "thank you".

Heeseung blamed himself for her death till today. After all, he was the one to blame for it. That's what her parents kept repeating.

"Murderer! It was your job to protect her!"

"She's dead because of you!"

"It should have been you who died, not her!"

They were right. 

He agreed with everything they said. It was the truth. He had failed, and there was nothing he could do to bring her back. 

Nightmares of the terror night practically became the fairytale of his sleep. He would wake up drenched in sweat, pushing himself to successfully save her in his dreams. He was so close but so far away at the same time. 

It was all humorous. How returning to this unfortunate place stirred the wrong memories. How it managed to discern the familiar gut-wrenching feeling in his system. The one he had to take medication for every day to keep his head clear. To stop seeing the silhouettes of her everywhere. 

"Seo-Jun, don't do this to me," his head dropped to his feet, refusing to reexperience his trauma. 

"You're not here anymore," he bit down on his lip, gulping down the ascending guilt.

"But it's not me, Heeseung." 

His eyes rose, staring at the silhouette. They struggled to decipher the person in front of them, barely having the energy to stay open. 

He stepped closer, his heavy steps echoing through the enormous vacant room. He was expecting it to disappear as it was a part of his imagination. However, it stayed there, clear as a day.  

It was her.

Not her her, but her.

The voice that haunted him every night in his nightmares. The one that begged him to save her sister from those psychopaths, putting the last bits of hope into him. The screams replayed in his nightmares when he had come out with her sister in his arms, barely holding the victim as he was close to passing out himself. They soon turned into weeps, coughing up the pain in her system, unable to stop her body from shaking at the sight of her sibling in agonizing pain. 

He remembered the way she looked up at him while the paramedics carried her inside the ambulance, face covered in shock and desperation. 

It was as if both knew the outcome awaiting them in the hospital, not prepared to admit the painful reality. They wanted to pretend like they didn't know, even if it was only for a minute. 

He recalled her running after the car, legs giving out in the middle, getting up over and over again without thinking twice about the damage on her knees. 

The same pain he felt back then kicked in right now, pounding into his stomach because despite disappointing her, she was the one who checked up on him in the ER. She was the only person who turned up. The only one worried about his condition, holding in the tears.

"I know my sister was glad someone tried. That someone cared and wanted to save her."

"I'm happy to know that the last face she saw was yours and not those bastards'."

"Mr. Lee, thank you. Thank you for everything."

Despite everything, she said those words to him, managing to smile at him before leaving. He felt her release the painful ache through the door, mourning for the lost one as the hospital tiles created a path stained with sorrow. 

"It's your chance, Heeseung."

"To do what you couldn't with me."

He looked around to glimpse a ghost of Seo-Jun, to believe it was all real and not a part of his disturbed imagination. 

But she was nowhere to be found. 

It was Y/N instead, encircled by the cause of her sister's death.

The same person he stopped visiting every day after the incident, too thoughtless to leave her all alone in that big city while the perpetrators roamed around freely. 

He thought it would have been for the better to give her space to grieve properly, without him appearing at the door to remind her of the incident. 

She never complained, though, but rather showed her gratitude for the concern, not managing to function alone with her parents passing on their sadness to her. 

It was a difficult time for her to be in, especially alone. That's why Heeseung's presence brought her the peace and comfort she needed. He helped her move out her sister's furniture, going as far as to seclude a deal to sell the apartment so the family could have a proper funeral, which he ended up attending himself. 

Her parents weren't exactly hiding their anger at his presence at such a personal event, holding him accountable for the happening of the ceremony. 

However, she was the one who had invited him. She chewed their disapproval and asked him to stay beside her. She needed someone to hold on during the event, both mentally and physically, thankful for his hand lingering on hers as she watched her other half disappear into the ground. 

He stayed with her for a long time after that, coming every morning to help her get out of bed and get ready for the day, becoming her caregiver for the following weeks. 

She was suffering inside, and he could tell by her blankly staring into the walls, movements so slow it looked like it hurt. It was difficult to convince her to eat, noticing the loss in appetite she kept ignoring, blaming it on her stomach troubles. 

Nonetheless, she never protested when he wanted to feed her, always cooking or ordering something from outside. She felt like a baby in those moments, with him practically begging her to open her mouth, putting a smile on her face instead. 

They talked a lot over those weeks, with Heeseung opening up about his past and traumatic childhood, sharing the fragments of his parent's death and how it has affected him. He talked about the car accident, the one he was also in. He was the sole survivor, the sole person to exit the hospital and not be transferred into the morgue.

He had never told anyone before, and conveying the lingering heartache was such a relief that he couldn't stop talking, gathering up every detail he had in his memories. 

In a way, it connected the two more, having gone through the tragedy of losing a loved one. Y/N couldn't help but notice the feeling of safety in his company. The more he transmitted, the closer she felt, like she could trust him with her whole life.

While she was fully aware of the effects he was having on her, Heeseung was too busy focusing on her condition to catch the sparkles of joy. 

Whenever she opened the door to him, he couldn't help but beam. His heart would fill up with contentment, dopamine levels increasing at the brief touches they shared, hiding the butterflies amassing inside. It was wrong for him to catch feelings after everything he caused her, and the guilt expanded in his chest at the realization.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one who had caught up on the situation. Soon enough, her parents personally contacted him and asked to meet without their daughter's knowledge. They were the real reason for his departure, the why for abandoning her when she needed him the most. 

He never had the opportunity to tell her the truth, to tell her he didn't go on his will but was forced into that decision. He wished he could have told her he was threatened with being sued and losing his career forever due to their belief about his negligence on the mission. Either that or he had to leave her alone and go as far away as possible if he didn't want his life to be over. 

That is what he meant when he said he was a coward: a coward who couldn't even tell the truth. It followed him wherever he went, the mere image of her constantly transmitting in his thoughts.  

And now, the image was trapped in another nightmare with little time, falling into his hands yet again. 

This wasn't how he wanted to meet up, but fate had its way of managing things. The only thing Heeseung knew was that he couldn't let her down again. 

She had to come out of here alive.

No matter what it would take.

"You came," a raspy voice loomed from the darkness, causing Heeseung to hastily stand up and point his gun at its origin. 

His stomach dropped when he locked gazes with the criminal. 

"Kang Joon-Woo."

"It is I indeed," he fixed his tie covered in a fleur de lis pattern, showing off his wealth in the black tuxedo. His auburn slick hair drew attention to his green eyes, which turned stone cold once his gaze landed on the officer in front. They were empty, vacant, without any emotion. It was like staring into a deep well at night, manifesting fright and unpleasantness. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you again, Mr. Lee." his silver crown shone as the moonlight sheathed his face, lowering his head before looking back at him again. He exuded the same stare that day, slicing through deeply and threatening with its lethal power. 

Kang Joon-Woo, one of the lead rings of the cooperation of Kang Holding, was the chairman and the mastermind of the whole operation a year ago. Kang Jun-Seo was his right hand, more like a lap dog. 

They were both known criminals in the district he used to work in, successful businessmen who led one of the most influential companies in the city. They ran many hotels scattered over the country, using them as a front to conceal their actual intents by managing and commencing new deals. 

Beneath the surface, they hid several classified secrets, ordering various exchanges between dangerous parties. Some reports revealed drug usage and distribution, contacts with the black market, and even active participation on the deep web.

However, their main focus was on sex trafficking, exploiting young women for their income. It has been going on for many years, with the two predators selling out females to different countries, motivated by the big numbers on the cheque. They were both aware of how these girls would end up, forced to become objects for whoever had bought them. That was the twisted part in itself. The fact that the two went off to doing this.

He found out himself when he got ordered to take over one of these cases since the department had a lead and had a high chance of uncovering the trafficker's location, hopeful about the retrieval. So was Heeseung, especially after the Chief of Police had picked him out personally for the case along with two other ambitious corporals as the sergeant was sick that week, unable to operate. It was his biggest chance to prove himself and stand out amongst his coworkers. 

"Months of searching, and now I have you both at my feet," the snarky laugh punctured through.

"What have you done to her?" Heeseung looked back at Y/N from the corner of his eye, unable to bypass her drugged state. He knew he had to act before it was too late, struggling to piece a plan together at the revelation. 

"I just gave her some candy. You know the ones that bring you to another dimension?" he pulled out a pack of Arrirangs from his pockets, finding the whole situation hilarious. It was uproarious to watch the terror in Heeseung's eyes, darting from the girl back to him. 

"You fucker," Heeseung quickly hovered over her, checking her pulse and breathing. 

"Calm down," he scoffed in amusement, taking a whiff of the toxic elements his body lacked. "I need her to be alive as well." 

"What do you want?"

"Come on, Heeseung. You're smart enough to know," a sigh parted in the heavy ambiance, playing with the cigar between his fingers.

"You know goddamn well someone has to pay for the losses you caused on that day."

"Leave her out of it. She has done nothing."

"Who called you on us?"

"She did the right thing. They just chose the wrong officer."

"Fucking pathetic indeed. You couldn't even save her in the end, could you?" the man burst into laughter, brushing back his hair. He was loving every second of this.

"Since you failed to save her. Now, we need someone to replace her place."

"Jun-Seo was thinking about this beauty right here, but I told him it was too dangerous. Didn't I, brother?"

Heeseung froze at the callout, feeling the mentioned one's presence behind him. He also felt the weapon pointed at his head, threatening to be blasted at a slight movement. Every possible curse flashed in his mind, all pointing towards him.

He was screwed.

"Drop it," the baritone ordered. 

Before he could even look at the famous criminal, the man punched him in his back, amplifying his directive. Heeseung had no other option but to comply, slowly placing his gun on the floor. The guy immediately kicked away the weapon, far away from their reach. He stood there with his hands aloft, looking back at the man ahead.

"And what did I also say?" his tongue clicked, putting on a pair of black leather gloves.

"To have her, we must get rid of the cop."

"That's right." He snickered, approaching the injured girl. 

"Poor girl, she has no idea what's happening," his fingers wrapped around her neck, snickering at the beauty. He turned her face to the side, his filthy eyes scanning her features.

"Don't touch her!" Heeseung shouted, attempting to step closer.

"You better calm down." 

"Or do you want my brother to pull the trigger already?" her hair twirled around his finger, "I want her to see it first." He quickly pulled onto it, causing her head to fall with the snatch.

"No, she has nothing to do with this. I killed your men, not her. Let her go, now!" 

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Heeseung. My client wants a replacement for his previous loss."

"And we decided to give him the other sister," the twin snickered, licking his lips. 

"You're fucking sick." Heeseung looked at the man above Y/N, passing on a distrustful smile. 

"I think we have waited far too long for this one," The snarky laugh punctured through, running his hands on her exposed thighs. 

"I said don't fucking touch her!" 

The delinquent just laughed and took a knife, putting it under her neck. He played with her hair, leaning closer to her ear, whispering something, and smirking right after. Whatever it was, Heeseung was sure it was appalling and lewd. 

"So," the edge of the weapon traveled down her T-shirt, "I'm going to have my fun." He sneered as its sharpness cut the clothing in two, exposing her body to the filthy losers. 

"And you're going to watch."

"You fucking piece of shit!" he jumped the guy, not thinking twice about it. They both rolled down the floor, one trying to keep the weapon, whereas the other risked to grab it. 

"I'll kill you. Right here, right now," Heeseung hissed, head-bumping him as soon as he had the opportunity. 

"You fucker," Joon-woo immediately covered his nose, staining his hand with his very own blood. He was sure it was broken, but it wasn't enough to stop him from returning the favor. 

Heeseung looked back at the other brother, who attempted to shoot the man in black, raising his arm to carry out the movement. 

However, Heeseung was quicker, avoiding the fatal hit by rolling over in time. He still had Joon-woo on his back, getting on his hands to perform a leg sweep. With that, he fell on his back, pushing all the air out of his lungs with a curse.

"You are dead meat, Mr. Lee," the man coughed out, barely having the energy to properly look him in the eye.

Heeseung knew he was minutes away from another blast from Jun-Seo's gun. Without wasting time, he quickly stood up and ran into the other perpetrator with full force. He successfully knocked both of them over, the firearm vanishing in the far distance. The stunt in the movement allowed him to yank and throw the firearm into the far distance. 

"Get him!" the other twin ordered, quickly taking out his Glock 19 to point it at Heeseung. Jun-Seo got on his feet again, shooting a death glare. Despite not having anything to defend himself with, he relied on his strength, rushing to him. His arm extended toward Heeseung's direction, and a sudden hand appeared in front of his face. 

"I should have killed both of you when I had the chance," Heeseung panted, evading each punch like a pro. It was too easy to fight with such an incompetent loser like him, managing to switch positions in the meantime. 

"We should have gotten rid of you two sooner," Joon-woo yelled, shooting into the brawl. He only didn't predict Heeseung doing the unthinkable by pushing the brother in front of him. The bullet entered the wrong body, disappearing in Jun-Seo's chest with a loud gasp. 

"No!" The shooter yelled at the turn of events, watching his twin fall to the ground right next to his feet. He panted in pain and brought his hands to the wound his sibling unintentionally caused, his eyelids losing their tension as his pupils dilated. 

"You piece of shit!" The scourge unleashed from between his lips, a pair of heartless eyes darting back. He looked back to see the cop with his gun right back where it belonged, pointed at him, the main suspect.

"You did all of this just for this stupid bitch!" He raised his arm, turning in the direction of the abducted innocence. 

"Step away from her," Heeseung yelled, blood rushing through his veins.

It was a relief to have taken down one of the obstacles in his way without getting his hands dirty. Nevertheless, there was still the main problem standing in front of him, aiming to assassinate his victim. 

He knew the sicko could pull off a dangerous stunt since his actions were unpredictable, scanning the expressions on his face. He was expecting furrowed brows, hands clenched into fists, or a death glare at least. 

All he got was a loud sigh, followed by a prolongated laughter. The kind of laughter you would hear The Joker do in a quarrel with Batman whenever the two would argue. It was almost as if he was amused or pleased with the outcome, even though his brother was lying inches away in a puddle of blood, practically minutes away from dying.

"You really are a jokester, Mr. Lee," he lowered his gun, ignoring the confusion on the cop's face.

He just passed on a stare and a scowl, fidgeting with the weapon in his hand like it was a toy with no bullets in it. His behavior was so bizarre that Heeseung couldn't help but stare at him in confusion. 

The thing was, the stare he carried didn't belong to someone who had just given up. It wasn't of someone who just surrendered and accepted his fucked-up fate. 

It was the complete opposite of what it was supposed to be -malicious, daring to some degree as if he was taunting him with his capability. He challenged him with a gradually growing smirk. 

At that moment, Heeseung realized it wasn't a renunciation but a part of the plan. The plan that had been constructed from the beginning. Composed to every little point to lure out the enemy. She was his weakness, and they damn well knew about it. They were cruel enough to use it against him. 

With another look, he noticed the turnabout in Joon-Woo's glare, the shade of wrath igniting. 

"For thinking I would let her off so easily," the loud bang emitted through the silence, a sharp "pop" following right after. The noise yielded Heeseung to register the situation, his eyes widening as they quickly scanned for the landing. His gaze landed on the girl in the chair, uncovering a bullet point of entrance on her chest. 

Heeseung's heart dropped as he looked over to the side. 

His eyes widened in horror, staring blankly at the injured girl.

His body went numb, but he still tried to remain as stoic as possible.

All he could do was stare, frozen in fear, as the girl's white shirt slowly turned red.

Heeseung knew he couldn't repeat the same mistake, not hesitating to respond as he pointed his gun directly at the shooter. It was what had to be done. Jun-Seo was going to die today, next to his brother.

His heart skipped a beat as the adrenaline rush towards his veins intensified. He pressed the trigger, watching the evil twin staring back at him in shock, falling back. 

The loud thud confirmed the man was no longer alive, the bullet in his head adding to reason. 

Heeseung slowly approached the corpse, looking at him one last time to ensure himself. 

At that moment, he indeed felt the unbearable weight on his shoulders falling off, all of it evaporating in the air. 

Heeseung finally exhales, dropping his gun to the floor. His heart rate slows down, but the poundage in his body becomes heavier, almost as if the world was collapsing in on him.

"Where-" he quickly turned around at the origin of the sound, his eyes meeting the girl's.

Heeseung instantly rushed to her side, trying to assess the damage.

Her blood flowed onto his hand as he pressed it on the entrance wound, attempting to stop the bleeding.

"I'm going to save you, just hang on..." he whispered, applying pressure after dialing his collegaue. 

As she struggled to remain conscious, her eyes locked into his.

She was unable to express her gratitude with words, so she gave his hand a light squeeze, letting him know that she understood his intentions.

She trusted the man for some reason, even though she couldn't see his face. Everything was pitch dark.

She hoped for the misery to end soon, letting her eyelids rest.

She only waited for the moment to end, for the afterlife to welcome her.

Heeseung was overwhelmed with worry and fear. He knew how close she was to dying, watching her breath grow shallower and more shallow after each passing moment.

He saw her eyes flickering in and out of consciousness, but all he could do was gently stroke her hair away from her face, hoping and wishing for a miracule. 

His hand rested on her chest, feeling her heartbeat. He desperately implored it to keep going, pleading with the higher powers, begging them not to let her slip through his fingers.

"Don't leave me, please," he whispered, kissing her hand.

Heeseung noticed her breathing pattern becoming erratic, her pulse slowly becoming weak, indicating that she was losing the battle for her life.

"Don't go," he whispered, placing his face closer to hers, willing her not to leave. The tears rolled down his cheeks, shaking his head in denial. He desperately tried to keep them from falling again.

"Please stay with me," he beged, unable to handle the thought of her dying in his arms. He continued to caress her cheeks, his voice muffled as his face grew redder and redder.

"Please..."

He recalled all the memories they encountered, the bad and the good, and burst into tears again. He didn't even try to stop them, unable to hold it in any longer.

"I don't know what I'm going to do without you..."

Heeseung's voice filled with anguish, and ha piece of his heart ripped out of his chest. 

His desperation grew as her heartbeat grew weaker and weaker. Her chest rose and fell, labored. 

Each breath was battle for her life, and her body was not winning the fight. It started to grow cold, and her heartbeat became even fainter, as if it was trying to slip through his grasp.

"I'm so sorry." 

"I should have protected you," he cried, pressing into her chest. 

"I love you, Y/N."

Her hand rested on his, a faint smile spreading across her face. 

---------------------------------------------

"Y/N," 

"You-"

"It's you?" her brain refused to believe the alternative, pacing back and forth, forth and back, like a spectator at a tennis match. 

Lee Heeseung? 

Her Lee Heeseung?

No, that's impossible.

She foolishly wanted to hold onto the strand of hope even though it was perilous. She knew it would relish on painting her walls within in qualm, scribbling various disquietude lines, and doodling frightening visions.

It appeared so compulsive, eyelids concealing the water amassing beside. The droplets traced her rubicund cold cheeks, reaching the corners of her quivering mouth. She tasted the woeful hopelessness accumulated over the past months. 

How hopelessly she wished for it to be real.

For him to be with her. 

If there was one thing she had been yearning for, it was his return. 

Somewhere deep down in her shattered soul, she dreamed of a reunion. A reconvene in which she could hold onto him without fear. Without having to worry about him letting go once she would look away. Without being afraid of falling asleep because he wouldn't be there in the morning. 

It was the only thing she had been longing for. 

"No. You're not here. I'm seeing things again, right?" She looked around, laughing while groping the mattress. Doing so, she failed to detect the unknown material, repeating the same motion. It wasn't the same at home. It wasn't the latex filling she was used to. 

She swiftly looked around, eyes darting around the unknown layout. They glanced over its walls sheathed in snow without a single trace of a painting, the dim lamp gleaming in the corner. It smothered the gloominess in a soothing tint of beige, strangely comforting. 

It was so familiar, yet so unknown. 

Was it because this wasn't her first time being in this room?

"Why am I here?" Her rapid breathing complicated the question's delivery, hands clutching onto the duvet to prevent them from shaking even more. 

You fool.

She looked down, studying the IV line inserted in her vein. Her eyes popped out of their sockets, desperately trying to recall what had happened to put her in this situation in the first place. 

"Calm down," the man beside appeased, holding her hand. 

Compared to her ice skin, he was a burning flame. 

He wanted to believe it was because of his anticipation and not because of her declining health. 

He didn't want to be attentive to her paper skin or her bones visibly sticking out. Oh, how much he wanted to believe her knuckles weren't poking out next to his hand. 

However, he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to denial when these were all the signs he harbored before. 

The last time he saw her, his thumb couldn't reach his pinky finger. When he wrapped them around her tender wrist now, they managed to join. 

All of these signals were so familiar that he couldn't ignore them. They weren't normal and he knew from experience what effects it could have if not properly treated. Consulting with the doctor during her sleep was a necessary procedure, but he couldn't tell her everything now. 

For God's sake, she couldn't even acknowledge it was him caressing her hand. 

He felt like a stranger sitting there, with a worried expression and no response. He didn't know what to do. The only thing he wanted was to hold her and tell her everything was over. That he had finally accomplished what he should have done a year ago. Something he owed her from the day they met.

Where was the feeling of joy he was supposed to encounter? First and foremost, he executed an outstanding performance on the job tonight. Thanks to him, the case that was open for years had finally come to an end. It was due to his commission the two criminals now lingered behind bars.

"Is this one of those dreams again?" she suddenly grasped his shirt, unable to distinguish fantasy from reality. She held on to the cotton fabric with dear life, knuckles beginning to hurt as the grip amplified. The oaky fragrance disbanded into the air, entering through her nostrils to allow a segment of remembrance. 

Her fingers slid against the black clothing, studying the outlines of it, tracing down and up again. His chest rose with each unanticipated touch, brows sliding upwards to inscribe a few lines. Worry was written all over them when she gaped at him in confusion, refusing to accept his existence.

"Where I hopelessly look for you and never manage to find you?"

The headache was overlapping her brain in confusion, and she struggled to fathom her surroundings. She didn't comprehend the quick change of emotions on his face, looking at her as if she had announced the death of a close relative. In the end, she went through these nightmares almost every night. So, it wasn't abnormal to her. Yet, his stare was intense and frightened, screaming in concern, the complete opposite of her disclosure.

It wasn't.

It couldn't be after all.

He left a long time ago.

"I'm tired of those dreams," her voice broke down, replacing it with a weep, "because I never manage to find you." She broke down, releasing the suppressed pain gathered in her system. 

The mere thought of them ran shivers down her spine, completely despising the state they left her in. The number of times she woke up crying, desperately trying to hold onto the comfort beside was too much to count. The way she would open her eyelids only to realize there was nothing but a cold and untouched bedside. 

She would always look at the empty spot with hope. 

Hope he would come into the room with that dazzling look and hop back in the bed to hold her tight in his embrace. She wanted him to say everything would be okay, just like he used to. She wanted to hear his smile again, see his laughter, and feel his love in her hands. 

Was it that selfish to ask for the undoable? 

It was.

After all, he had always been a far stretch - an unreachable beauty, like a star in the sky she could only admire from afar. Too unreal to be authentic. Too perfect to exist. Too good to be true. Just like their relationship. 

Even stars die eventually and gradually start fading away. It was simply natural for them to end as well. 

So why was it so hard to say goodbye?

Over 365 days have passed since the day, and Y/N still stood at the beginning of the road. It was as if her feet were glued to the floor, trapping her in the moment she desperately tried to eradicate. 

If a samurai's katana could slice through her stomach now, it wouldn't manage to do more damage. Nor his bow stricken to embed in her lungs. It would simply sting for a second before disappearing into the mist, just like everything else in her life. It would form a pool of blood beneath, assembling a shattered reflection. A reflection she would reach for and fall into its never-ending well of hatred and pangs of conscience.

"I did something wrong, right? That's why you left. I was so annoying with my constant mood swings, wasn't I?" 

Heeseung closed his eyelids to prevent the accumulated sadness from firing, trying to stay collected so as not to evoke more sorrow. 

His hands turned into fists, aching to swing on the coward's head.

What a selfish idiot he was. 

He was going to cry? Him? When he was the reason they were both in this room right now?

It was his decision that caused all of this. He wouldn't be right back at the start if he hadn't given her up for his stupid career. If only he had just listened to his inner heart, things could have been different, better.

It was like someone was ripping him open, cutting and slicing with the sharpest blade, puncturing endless rebukes. Not only was he screaming from the pain, but also from witnessing Y/N uncontrollably crying in front of him. 

Her petite hands held onto her hospital gown, slanting over to let out all the misery he had caused her. She couldn't stop herself from wailing in agony and torment, feeling so hopeless and confused with him reappearing in her life. It was a hard pill to swallow. The kind that gets stuck in your throat, and water cannot drown it. 

"I'm so sorry I couldn't control it," she sniveled, clutching her hair tightly and pulling it to inflict more pain on herself. 

"I'm so sorry," she screamed into the duvet, countlessly snuffling. Her cries were muffled, the airways between her lungs and nose becoming tighter with each one. She was practically yelping for air, hyperventilating. 

"I love you, Lee Heeseung. I love you so much that it hurts," her trembling index pointed towards her heart, repeatedly tapping her chest.

At this point, she was out of breath, wailing and gripping her clothes as if they could release the painful embrace around her chest. She lifted her gaze to meet the apples of his eyes. They were glutted with sorrow and guilt, heartbreak and commiseration. They were merely reflecting his feelings - complete hopelessness. 

"I can't live without you, Heeseung. I can't-" Her sob got cut off by his sudden maneuver, palms gently cupping her cheeks before drawing her face closer to him. Now, he stared into her chocolate eyes, gazing at his hickory ones with surprise. 

"I love you more, Y/N." His nose rubbed against hers, foreheads aligning with one another to create an intimate moment between the lovers. They used to do this often, almost every morning, just holding each other and laughing in joy. It was like a routine, something mandatory before getting out of bed.

"More than anything else in this world," his tears caressed hers, tracing them upwards with his lips. He replaced the traces of sorrow with caring pecks, making sure to collect every drop. 

"Heeseung," her hand clutched his shirt, trying to stay sane even though, deep down, she was melting in his touch. 

He lightly tilted her head back, gaining access to her quivering mouth. She had it slightly ajar, huffing the compressed air through the small gap. Waves of electricity were dashing down her cells, causing an upheaval of homeostasis. The more he looked at her, the harder it got to breathe without a strain on her lungs. She had no choice but to say, "Please, just kiss me."

There was no time for that request to have been adequately thought through, as the circumstances deemed the opposite effect. For once, Y/N didn't want to think over her decisions. She wanted them to happen and worry about the consequences later. 

"Can I really?" his hand slid back, holding her head to grant her maximum relaxation. 

"You fool, I just told you to do it."

"I only want to make sure," he murmured, his lips automatically attracting with hers, like two magnets of opposite poles. 

Perhaps it was a lofty comparison, but the way neither side hesitated before carrying out the deed proved otherwise. They have been yearning for this moment ever since they have parted ways. 

Hell, they spent all of their time convincing themselves they weren't a match made to last for centuries when they were. Their love was so powerful that the glue in their bond never dried out. 

Even though they were two completely different people, it was their love that brought them together. No one could change that.

"No one."

"Not ever," he whispered while he damped her lips with his wet and warm tongue, panting with each smacking sound.

It was like entering heaven. 

He could almost feel the bright rays of happiness encircling them with its mighty power, not to mention Y/N's whimpers, which were like music to his ears.

Or maybe it was his poetic description of this incredible ecstasy that made it appear so illusory. 

He felt like a teenage boy again. His hormones were all over the place, and his heartbeat was agitated with an uncomfortable tension in his boxers.

God was cruel for putting his body into this state, especially in this situation. However, he couldn't control it. A whole year without Y/N meant a year full of bottled-up pain and tension. He never went out and slept with someone else because he knew too well no one could compare to her. 

Fuck, no one could be her, so there was no point in doing anything reckless. Plus, his heart wouldn't be able to do something so dishonest. It was loyal, unlike him, and it never erased nor forgot the name of his soulmate.

"I missed you so much," she cried, her grip around him tightening, so afraid he would let go and the feeling of safety would disappear with him.

"I know, Y/N. I missed you, too." Heeseung's hand slid up her arm, then her neck, until his hands rested on her cheeks, and he gently pulled her closer.

"But I'm here now," he continued, his voice filled with tenderness and affection. "And I don't plan on leaving your side ever again."

She looked up with red eyes, swollen and aching from the pang inside her heart. "You promise?" she asked innocently, not ready to receive a no for an answer. 

"I promise." His voice was firm, his words soothing. 

He kissed the top of her head, feeling her grip tightening around him while tears still ran down her wet, rosy cheeks. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, refusing to let go. 

"I'm not going anywhere. Not this time."

As if by instinct, she buried her face in his chest yet again, breathing in his scent and feeling his warmth as he enveloped her petite body in his warm embrace. 

Y/N felt her heart beating faster, the rush of emotions overwhelming and confusing her in the process. God, how much she has missed this. Being held, taken care of, and loved. For the first time, she allowed herself to feel vulnerable and let out a pained sob. She had held it for so long.

"Breathe," he whispered in her ear, noticing her shallow breath in a poor attempt at composure.

Her body couldn't stop shaking in his arms, the waves of emotions and shock deluging her.

"I'm here." The man of her dreams whispered, his words soothing out the bump of worries in her head. He stroked her lusciously dark hair once again, caressing her cheek as she leaned her head on the crook of his neck.

"I've got you."

That was all she needed to hear. 

They both remained in each other's arms, the silence broken only by their heavy breathing. At the same time, Y/N leaned in for his hands, holding them in hers. They were big and mighty next to her small and delicate ones, swallowing them in his palms. She played with his fingers, wrapping her digits around each one like an adorable baby. 

She has done this so many times before. It felt so natural each time as if their hands were sculpted to fit between the gaps of their fingers. Every insertion and removal was smooth like butter. She repeated it over and over because she couldn't get enough of it.

It was his hand she was holding and her hand he was kissing.

"Is this alright?" he asked foolishly.

She replied with a passionate kiss instead, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling the strong man as close as possible. Her body pressed against his, so gentle with each movement that it made him shiver. He leaned into the squeeze, letting go of his worries once and for all, only focusing on her warmth blending with his. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, the heat of her against his own sparking lascivious ideas. 

Her lips pressed softly against his skin, enticingly murmuring her name as a result. 

"Y/N..."

"I missed hearing you saying my name," she whispered into his ear before gently biting onto its helix.

Heeseung closed his eyes and exhaled a deep and long breath. He leaned closer and caressed her chin, tilting it upwards so he could meet her eyes again.

"I want to be with you forever," he said softly, hand gently caressing her hip.

"I want to wake up next to you every morning and sleep with you by my side."

"I want to hold your face and feel your lips on mine every chance. To feel our love growing more and more each day."

"I want to spend my life with you. To know you're my home, my heart."

She gaped at him in shock, not expecting to hear such a meaningful trail of confession after everything. It contradicted his ambiguously lengthy absence in which Y/N went through hell thinking about what she had done wrong. 

Now, he sat before her, eyes full of ardor and sincerity, brushing his devotion on her like a naked canvas. 

"I've made the mistake of letting you go once," he held her hand, placing it on his chest. She felt his rhythmic heartbeat gradually increasing with each prolonged second of his speech. 

"I won't make the same mistake twice, Y/N." 

Heeseung's voice is filled with sincerity and truth, determined to finally carry through his feelings to her like he should have done. 

"I can't promise I will always be perfect," he expressed, his hand intertwining with hers. "But I promise, I won't let anyone tear us apart again."

He squeezed her even tighter as if she was the only thing holding him together.

"What do you mean? Who tore us apart?" her face changed instantly, confusedly staring into his apprehensive eyes. The cat was out of the bag, and Heeseung finally had to face the harsh side of reality.

Instead of answering, however, his gaze drifted away. 

His expression became darker, pupils dilating from the rise of anger within. It wasn't directed towards the reason, but himself. He was furious for preserving this crucial information from her for so long.

He looked away, his hand still over hers as he tried to find the words. He took it and brought it to his lips, gently kissing it as he spoke.

"Your parents..." Heeseung said quietly.

"They never approved of us, and I knew."

Heeseung paused, unsure of how to proceed or what to say next. He didn't want to ruin her relationship with her parents or affect their reunion. Telling the truth was the best choice, but he wondered if she would forgive either side.

"They threatened to sue me and ruin my career. They said I was negligent on the mission. That I wasn't a good enough person to be with you."

He stared at her, doubtful of how much information to share. 

"They didn't want me to talk to you ever again," he disclosed, his tone guarded. "They told me either I stayed away from you or they would ruin my life."

He sighed and looked down at the ground, a slight sense of shame on his face. 

"It was their disapproval, combined with the threat of losing everything, that forced me to leave."

"So you chose your career over our love?" she scoffed, pushing his arms away.

"Your career was more important than our relationship?"

She shook her head in disappointment. 

"No..." Heeseung quickly replied, stunned and hurt by her sudden change of attitude. "You know I'm not like that."

The truth was that he completely understood her reaction. He responded to his terrible decision the same way, turning against himself for being such a selfish prick. 

Nevertheless, so much was at stake that he couldn't have done it differently. That's what he wanted to explain. To make her see his point of view and hopefully make her understand. 

"You're the only person who knows what I had to go through to become an officer, Y/N. You know what kind of future I envisioned for myself, for us."

He wavered, rethinking his wording so as not to make it sound wrong. His voice slightly trembled, incredibly scared of what might come after all of this. "It would have been my entire future they would have destroyed."

She shook her head in denial, not wanting to believe her bloodline would stand in the way of her happiness. She couldn't believe her mother and father put her into that misery and pretended to be clueless. 

They blamed him for everything, constantly pointing out how right they were about him from the beginning of their relationship. They kept telling her that he would eventually leave and never look back when, in reality, they were the ones who would cause it to happen. They were pulling the strings behind her back. 

This whole time, while she deteriorated from the uncontrollable pain all alone, they were the culprits of her suffering. 

"I," she covered her mouth, the urge to vomit intensifying at the repulsive revelation. 

"Why," she looked up at him, anger and resentment burning in her eyes. 

"Why didn't you tell me right away?" she whispered, her voice hingeing from the lack of power.

Heeseung shut his eyelids, unable to speak at first due to the words choking him up. He couldn't even look his love in the eyes as he lowered his face in remorse.

"I thought you wouldn't believe me," he replied calmly, his voice full of emotion. "They are your parents, after all."

Heeseung searched for the correct words to express what he felt in those moments right before he took the decision to leave her for good. 

"I thought me leaving would be the least painful, the least harmful choice. I didn't want to ruin your family for one incompetent coward like me."

"Bullshit!" she yelled, throwing all of his attempts away. She was so angry at him and her parents all at once that it molded into one tangled wool of wrath that gushed obstreperous amounts of ire. 

"I would have believed you, Heeseung. These are all just excuses-"

"How can you say these are just excuses," Heeseung oppugned, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence.

"You think I liked being forced to make that decision? You think I liked seeing you in pain because of me?"

He sharply inhaled, almost hissing when exhaling. The words were pouring out of him as fast as a waterfall, and no one could stop him from speaking his mind now.

"Don't you think I regret all of it? Don't you think that I wished every single day that I had just told you the damn truth?" he snapped back, his tone rising at each word. 

"Do you have any idea what I went through this last year?" she shut him down, firmly pushing him away.

Do you have any idea what I was thinking this entire time?" she panted, the wrath inside her escalating through the roof.

"I thought I wasn't good enough for you, that I couldn't even make you happy, that you left because I only rubbed off my bad mental state, and you couldn't handle it anymore. This entire time, I thought it was MY fault you were gone, and I wanted to die." The curses escaped her chapped lips, fists hitting the mattress out of frustration and lack of control over her emotions. Her eyes burned with ire and disarray, quivering from undergoing sudden shock.

"Every day, I dreamt about dying. Every night, I hoped I wouldn't wake up the next day and that I would just die." She shouted into his face, her yells soon enough turning into painful sobs. 

"After you left, Hee, there was no point for me to live anymore."

Heeseung stared at her, totally awed and stunned by her words. He was blind this whole time, ignorant about what was happening behind the curtains.

He couldn't form a sentence, experiencing such strong and intense emotions that he couldn't even find the words to describe them.

"I tried to end my life so many times," she cried, covering her face with trembling hands, entirely losing control of her body.

Chills ran down his spine at the weight of the last sentence, which unraveled the extent of her suffering. 

His worst fear became true: she was hurting because of him. 

From the start, he tried to do what was best for her future. Yet, he only made it all worse. He ruined her and became the cause of her nightmares, of every second of her affliction.

His heart broke into a million pieces. The amount of guilt he had never experienced before struck him intensely, leaving him breathless.

Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks as he realized he had worsened her depression. 

First, he took away the person who loved her the most and then disposed of the one she loved the most. All at the same time, because of him. 

He wanted to shout, to kick himself for being so oblivious. He wanted to hug her and hold her, cry with her, and beg for forgiveness.

But all he could do at that moment was stand like a deer caught in the headlights, completely speechless.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"I never wanted to cause you... pain." His voice broke as he said those words, the guilt eating him alive.

"I-I should have been there for you, I-" Another sigh parted away.

"I failed to protect you."

"Yea, you fucked up. Now, go," her tone drastically changed, sitting up as she crossed her arms, head turning towards the window.

The world outside seemed so much calmer than the one in the room, the tension sticking on the walls.

Heeseung didn't know what to say. He tried to protest, to say something, to do anything to fix things, but after your dismissal, he knew he had to accept the fact that he had messed up beyond all reasoning.

He walked towards the door, waiting for her to change her mind and ask him to stay. 

However, his wish was replaced by a soft "go."

No other words were necessary for this goodbye.

He turned to face her one final time, his eyes full of regret and misery. They couldn't even match hers for more than two seconds before a tear rolled down his cheek.

He had to look away, refusing to see the pain in her eyes and her trembling face.

"No," he said, turning around.

Heeseung was frustrated and felt misunderstood, lost in the words of frustration and anger thrown his way. 

It broke his heart to hear her say these things. Although he expected the worst possible scenario, he couldn't come to terms with this alternative. There was no way he would let her go again. 

He paused, taking a deep breath to process what he was hearing.

"I failed you as a lover and a friend," he whispered, the tone in his voice filled with sorrow and disappointment. 

"I should have been there for you, I should have stayed and fought."

Her stare was still focused outside, refusing to communicate with him further. There was a lot of bitterness and pain inside her to pursue a polite conversation. Any minute, she would go off like a bomb. He was pushing the time until detonation.

Heeseung took a deep breath yet again, looking around the room in disbelief.

He had never seen her so angry before — not even when she was angry with her parents. This was a whole new level of anger.

He couldn't bear the thought of leaving in such a condition while being furious and hurt. Even if he thought she no longer wanted him around, he needed to prove that was not true. He wanted to prove to her his love was real and was not as shallow as she thought.

"Don't make me call the staff and get you kicked out," the threat set a foot on the floor, directly aiming at him.

She finally made eye contact, handing a cold glare, her brows furrowed and her nostrils flared.

For a few seconds, Heeseung was utterly stunned by her sudden threat and the intensity of the stare. Once she made eye contact, he saw deep down the pain and hurt that she was frantically trying to mask.

"I just want to say one more thing before I leave," he whispered, his tone gentle and apologetic. He looked away, unsure if he was doing the right thing.

"I don't want to hear anything from you," she sat up and got her slippers, aiming to stand up and walk him out.

However, a sharp groan escaped instead, her hand automatically positioning on the ache in her chest. His heart sank once again as he noticed the sudden wince in her facial expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice full of worry and concern.

He wanted to reach out but knew he did not deserve to comfort you in such a critical moment. It was all his fault.

Therefore, he remained standing, but only a meter away, as his worries grew over.

"I just need you to leave me alone." her expression changed nattily, practically hissing out the sentence.

He remained silent, not saying a word.He could hear her breathing and the slight wheezing with each inhale. Other than that, there was only the silence of the room.He couldn't find any words to say in such a situation, not when her voice bore hatred and disdain.

Slowly, he backed away from her, his feet making light sounds on the floor, almost unable to hear them. She winced when attempting to slightly move, each muscle in her body tensing at the unexpected action.

Tears summon in her eyes, crawling back from the overlapping ache and sorrow combined into a deadly mixture. Heeseung noticed how her body reacted, recalling the doctor's orders. He couldn't hold back anymore. He couldn't stand idle.

"Wait," he said quickly, his tone filled with worry and panic. He rushed to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from getting up.

"God, you're such a-" Her whine swallows the curse word, shutting her eyelids due to the ascending pain.

"You can hate me as much as you want, but you must lay down this instance," Heeseung sighed, noticing her effort at resisting his actions even if it was all for her safety. He tried to lay her down slowly but firmly, making sure he didn't hurt her any further.

He gently pushed her backward on the bed, hoping the pain from the movement didn't worsen.

"You're a pain in the ass," she coughed, eyes still closed to avoid any form of direct eye contact. His presence beside was enough to rile her up and clench her fists.

He had to hide his smile as her attempts to push him away and the occasional bursts of insults were adorable. She might have been furious at the moment, but her actions gave away the small hint of weakness underneath.

It made him want to apologize for coming back at the wrong time, but he remained silent and waited by her side for the pain to subside.

He sat on the edge of the bed, looking out of the window with a heavy pang in his heart. He stayed silent for a while, content with sitting in silence, even if she was still furious at him.

He occasionally glanced at her with a sorrowful look, as if he was sorry for causing you so much pain and distress.

Slowly, he turned his head back towards the window and exhaled, the only noise he made for the following minutes.

"I should be furious and mad at you for everything," she whispered, "Yet, I can't because it hurts even more."

Heeseung's eyes widened once she spoke up. She might have not looked at him, but he heard her perfectly.

She still sounded angry, but it sounded more like regret than anything else. It was the first time he saw her defenses crack, and he was starting to wonder how long until she completely broke down.

"I prayed every night to see you again, to be held in your arms," she paused, suppressing the wave of tears from flushing down her face.

"I-" she put her arm over her face, fighting herself from speaking up further.

He remained silent, watching her struggle with her emotions. He couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart seeing her trying so hard not to break down in front of him.

With a light, tender gesture, he wiped the tears away from her cheeks and put his hand over her fist, trying to hold her fingers while remaining careful about the injuries.

"I hate you," she whimpered.

"I hate how much I love you after everything."

Those words hit him like a knife to the heart.

Hearing her confess her love and hatred towards him was a bittersweet feeling. Although her words still harbored anger, there was no denying his heart was aching for her.

He looked at her, not saying anything, just staring, his eyebrows furrowing, waiting to hear what else she had to say.

"You broke me, and somehow-" she lingered on her words, snuffling, "you're the only thing I think about."

Heeseung's heart ached with each word she spoke, hearing the emotional confession.

He didn't quite know what to say. Her love for him seemed just as conflicting as her rage and hatred as if both were trying to take the throne as the primary emotion in her heart.

Her tearful, trembling voice made him feel vulnerable too, his entire being consumed by the emotions that made him want to hug her so tightly, wanting so desperately to make everything better.

"You turned me into a mess," she covered her face with her palms, refusing to be seen this vulnerable and weak again.

He couldn't even argue with that statement because, at that moment, he knew she was right. He had turned her into a mess. He had left her without a single thought about if she would be alright, what it would do to her given her psychological condition. 

He had forgotten how much she loved and needed him and how his sudden disappearance would affect her. He was unable to stand her vulnerable state any longer.

He grabbed both her wrists, pulling them away from her face, letting his eyes meet hers.

"Look at me," he said in the softest way possible.

He was doing exactly what she didn't want him to do.

She was concealing her reckless emotions from him, forbidding him to see her like this any longer.

At his words, she reluctantly let go of and slowly lifted her face. She didn't want him here, but she did. She craved, no, needed him.

She looked directly into his eyes, feeling her heart ache, not wanting this moment to end but also wanting to escape it. His orbs had the most solemn expression, looking at her with sorrow and empathy.

He couldn't help but feel how her emotions were constantly switching between rage and sadness, and although she didn't say the words, his heart was still willing to believe that she still loved him.

Because she truly did.

And that's why she hated herself so much.

Heeseung's heart couldn't take it anymore.

When she looked away from his eyes, he saw how much she was still struggling to keep her emotions from breaking down completely. He wanted to help her, he wanted to make everything better, but he didn't know how.

With a light tug, he pulled her close and tightly hugged her. The warmth from his body spread to her, the smell of his cologne filling her nostrils.

As if the whole world had turned upside down, she had officially reached her limits. There were no barriers in her way anymore and she let her emotions burst out.

At last, she allowed herself to cry in front of someone again. In front of him. In his arms, in his embrace, in his chest.

With the sound of her trembling breaths, Heeseung could feel how real this moment was. Every tear falling from her cheeks, every sniffle, and every sob.

He didn't mind one bit. He didn't care how vulnerable she was right now or how weak this moment made her look. To him, her hugging hugging him back and feeling her body pressed against his was all that mattered right now.

She was finally home.

She was finally safe again.

She was where she was supposed to be all along.

With her lover, her soulmate, her other part.

She could finally smile again.

Heeseung tightened the grip on her body, wanting to bring her as close as possible to fill the space of loneliness in her heart.

The feeling of her warm body against his was all he needed to feel complete again. It was like he found the last missing piece of the puzzle. With it, the picture was complete. His heart was finally beating again. 

He kept his arms around her, not letting go of her for a single second. He hoped that this was just the beginning of their second chance.

Her hands rested on his chest as she lifted her head, inches away from his lips.

He brought her closer, making the space between their faces even shorter. He slowly lowered his head to meet her lips, his breath slightly trembling as his heart pumped rapidly in his chest.

She moaned into the kiss, closing her eyes and letting him take control. She was so tired, both mentally and physically, but craved him intensely.

Their tongues collided against each other leisurely and intensely at the same time, desperate to have one another as close as possible. 

The kiss was hungry, both despairing for each other that they were practically devouring each other rather than just simply enjoying the moment.

Heeseung's arms tightly wrapped around her, holding her firmly against his body, his lips moving with a steady pace alongside hers. There was no need for any words, as their entire bodies had already expressed everything they needed to.

His hands ran under her hospital gown, sliding upwards on her back. She arched her back at the contact, moaning and lightly biting onto his lip.

Heeseung couldn't help but moan at her reaction. The feeling of his hands on her skin sent shivers down her spine, his fingers feeling like little sparks of joy spreading through.

He moaned against her lips again, wanting this moment to last even longer.

She was all his, and he was all hers.

There was nothing that could stop them from being so intimate and together right now. All the anger and hatred that lingered inside was washed away by the sheer joy of being reunited.

He began tracing her spine with delicate, light touches, sending a chill down her back despite the warm sensations that the gesture caused.

When his hands moved further up, her back began to arch involuntarily, breathing becoming heavier.

His fingers found themselves tangled in her hair, pulling back as the kisses became even more passionate.

"Someone could come in any moment," she panted as he pulled away for a minute, gripping his shirt for stability since she was in a daze. Any hospital staff could barge in, and she certainly didn't want anyone to catch her engaging in lewd activities...

Heeseung let out a chuckle at her reminder, still feeling his heart pump and his lips vibrating with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

"I don't mind," he whispered, his lips hovering near hers again, teasing.

At that moment, the kiss felt so perfect for him, so right that he didn't care if anyone saw them in such a vulnerable state. He looked around the room and back at her, a small, mischievous grin appearing on his face.

"You're crazy!" she wanted to protest, but he kissed her again, sliding his hand behind her neck so she could fully transfer her weight onto his hand.

"Don't worry," he said, getting up and heading towards the door, getting a "do not disturb" sign out of the shelf and putting it on the door's front handle before locking themselves in.

He was glad he had decided to take her to a private hospital, not only because the surgery was done quickly, but he could also stay the night with her.

She couldn't help but feel a little bit of relief wash over, knowing that they wouldn't be interrupted by anybody walking by. The two of you could finally have some privacy to let the passion and desire run free.

With the heat between both of them building up, Heeseung returned to the bed, this time straddling on top of her.

"Oh," she gaped at him from below, her hands holding onto his arms next to her.

Her gaze landed underneath his shirt as he hovered over her, allowing her to fully see his abs. They were still as sculpted and defined as she remembered, perhaps even more visible now. Her mouth slightly hung loose, biting her lip to conceal her arousal.

He looked down at her, seeing the intent stare at his abs as her finger lightly trailed towards the edge of his shirt.

With a soft smirk, he lifted his arms, letting her expose his entire upper body, the abs, and pecs flexing slightly as he moved. He let her admire and touch every inch of his muscle, even letting her trace the veins on his arms.

For some reason, seeing him suddenly topless caused a couple of fireworks to set off in her stomach, immediately looking away to hide the wave of heat mantling her cheeks.

Heeseung couldn't help but giggle softly at her shyness, finding it utterly appealing. He still got butterflies each time she blushed like this, finding it to be one of her most endearing characteristics.

He leaned closer, lifting her hands off her face and caressing it with his own hands.

"So beautiful," he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Don't be shy. You can touch any part of me you want."

"Hee," she panted, feeling breathless from the lewdness of his words.

He chuckled, noticing how overwhelmed she got.

"I can't believe how easily flustered you get."

He paused for a few seconds before placing one of his hands on her pink cheek.

"It's okay to be touched like this, you know," he whispered into her ear.

"You've touched my heart so many times already, you can touch me as much as you like."

"If you keep talking like that, I'll melt," she sighed, placing her hand on his face as his gaze only evoked more attraction.

Heeseung laughed, finding her response to his comments sweet. He could see her already trying not to blush and feeling quite embarrassed, which made him want to tease her even further.

"Is that so?" he inquired, looking at her with a teasing smile on his lips.

"Well, maybe it would be better to see you in liquid form. Then I could at least drink in your beauty all at once."

"What are you even saying!" She widened her eyes, slapping his arm and covering her mouth out of embarrassment.

Heeseung smiled and played with a strand of her hair.

"Am I making you upset?" he teased, "and there I was, planning on making you melt all over me so I could lick it all up." With a smirk, he brought his face closer to hers, letting her feel his breath against her lips.

"You're such a pervert," her head turned to the side on the pillow, closing her eyes as the tip of her ears began to redden.

"You like it, though," his voice was tinged with a teasing undertone, almost daring her to deny it.

"Is this making you nervous?" he asked lusciously, "maybe I should keep kissing your neck until you can't take it anymore."

She moaned and grabbed his back the moment his lips brushed against her neck, breathing heavier than before.

He knew damn well how sensitive her neck was, and he always used that against her. He smirked at her reaction to his kiss, noticing how her body tensed up.

As he continued kissing her neck and leaving hickeys all across it, he could hear how she was trying to repress her moans.He didn't plan on going too far with this, but he was incredibly tempted to make you her out with his touch.

She pushed him away for a minute, her whole body practically shaking from the stimulation.

Heeseung smirked, knowing he had pushed her limits with the kiss.

Still, he didn't hesitate one second to get close to her again and place light kisses across her face.

"Is that too much?" he asked, his voice still maintaining that teasing tone, "I could do even more you know. We have a whole night ahead of us."

"I hate you so much," she grunted, letting him peck her face with smooches.

"Such harsh words coming from such a cute mouth." Heeseung laughed as she kept resisting his kisses, only making him want to tease her more.

"You can hate me all you want, but you can't escape my charm," he grinned at her, kissing her forehead and letting his fingers trail downwards.

"You could have gotten me naked instead of blabbering on."

Heeseung raised his eyebrows and smirked at the straightforwardness of her comment.

"Is that an invitation?" he inquired, "cause if it is, then I accept it completely." He brought her close to his body again, still keeping a firm grasp around her waist.

"Let me make your desire come true."

"Be careful, it hurts," she sat up, holding onto him.

Heeseung smiled softly at her actions, letting her sit up and gently lifting her onto his lap. He saw how tired she was, the exhaustion of the surgery still weighing in on her.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?" he inquired in a concerned tone, "we don't have to do anything, and still…"

He wavered for a moment, leaning her body against him.

"I still want to be near you."

She nodded, running her hands on his bare chest before giving it soft and tender pecks.

He let out a soft groan as his chest was bombarded with so many kisses, his body feeling warm at the spot her lips placed on. He let her body lean on him, enjoying the softness of her skin on his own. He couldn't stop but smile at how soft and gentle her every gesture was, making him feel the need to protect her.

She traced upwards, bringing her lips to his neck. She soaked up the smell of his scent, letting her lips slowly brush against his honey skin, licking and biting occasionally.

After kissing his cheek, she let her face rest on his shoulder, sighing at the warmth they were passing onto each other.

Heeseung cuddled her, running his hands through her silky hair as he enjoyed the closeness of her presence. They were both lying in silence for a couple of minutes, letting the quietness of the moment envelope them both. He felt content, and so did she. She floundered to explain it, but being in his arms made her feel safe and protected as if she was in a cocoon away from the outside world.

"Help me take this off, please," she pointed at her gown, slowly kissing him one more time.

"You don't have to say it twice."

He paused for a moment, feeling her tongue gently slide across his lips. It was as if she couldn't wait to feel his warmth all over her body. The thought made him eager to get rid of the clothing, so he began pulling the strings to the side, slowly untying them before she could slip the dress over her shoulders.

She looked down to see her chest wrapped with bandages from the surgery, sighing at the sight. Her eyes darted away, slanting a bit.

Heeseung's eyes followed her gaze, realizing how uncomfortable and self-conscious she must have felt about it. Wanting to ease her tension, he smiled and placed his hands on her shoulders before whispering next to her ear.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I am your lover, and nothing you show me will make me love you any less."

With those words, Heeseung's voice was tinged with kindness, as he wanted to make her feel at ease and wanted.

"I'm sorry for looking like this," she lowered your head, trying to hide her chest.

Heeseung gently caressed her face, lifting it so he could stare directly into her eyes.

"Never be sorry for something you have zero control over." He lifted his hand and placed it on top of her chest, his thumb running across the bandages.

"I was here to support you during the surgery, and I'm still here now to support you through your recovery, and no matter what, I will always love you."

She felt her eyes watering, sobbing as his kind words caressed her soul with love.

He didn't hesitate to pull her in a tight hug, soothing her as he cradled her in his arms.

The comfort of his touch was evident, not only from how her body quivered from the sudden embrace but also from her sobbing. It was clear as a day that she was going through a lot, but the thought of being in his arms was enough to calm her nerves and soothe her soul.

"I love you," she whispered, looking for his lips with hers.

"I love you more, Y/N."

Heeseung brought their bodies closer. It was a tender moment, full of affection and love, as they shared a deep kiss full of care and adoration.

"So you still want me? Even though I look like this," she foolishly asked, worried he could be less attracted to her after the surgery. Not only that, but she had lost a lot of weight, and she wasn't comfortable in her skin.

Heeseung was instantly alarmed at the comment, well aware of her insecurities. The way she was concerned was the last thing he needed to see right now.

"Don't ever think like that again," he placed his forehead against hers, wanting her to understand how he felt.

"Nothing will ever make me love you less. You've been through this surgery and lost some weight, but have I ever told you how beautiful you still look? How much I still want you?"

"Please tell me," she hiccuped, getting goosebumps when he cupped her cheeks and softly caressed them in his big hands.

Heeseung smirked softly before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"You are incredible to me. Nothing has changed how I feel about you. In fact, I feel that my love for you has multiplied, and I want you more than ever."

He waited for a minute, letting his words sink into her heart.

"You've gone through so much today, and all I want to do is take care of you and help you recover fully..."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, sobbing from receiving so much care and affection. She had gotten used to being alone and not having anyone for so long that she forgot how it felt to be loved.

Heeseung saw how his behavior was having a huge impact on her, and although he was touched by seeing her reaction, he also felt a certain joy in it, since it meant she was letting him into her life. The more she let him in, the more he felt satisfied, seeing how she accepted his protection. 

"Let me cuddle you again," he smiled, caressing her hair as he pulled her closer to his body.

"No, make love to me, please," she leaned back, letting him gently hold her close.

"I want you so badly."

Heeseung was a bit taken aback by the suddenness of her demand, but the tone of her voice was tempting and irresistible.

He let his hands crawl down her body until they ended up resting on her hips and butt.

"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to do something like this?" he whispered into her ear, not wanting to do anything that could potentially hurt her.

"As long as you're gentle," she smiled, caressing his face in her palm.

Heeseung let out a low growl as she touched his face, delicate yet sensual, enough to make him harder. The more she touched him, the more he felt his heart racing and his breath speeding up.

He moved in closer, their bodies touching from head to toe as her breath hitched.

"I'm all yours," she whispered.

Heeseung was speechless the moment he heard those words leave her mouth. 

It was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine. 

Someone who truly loves him and wants to be with him.

He looked down at her, letting his orbs get lost in hers.

"Do you mean those words?"

She nodded, pressing herself onto his erection.

"My heart only beats for you and you only," she smiled, intertwining her hands with his.

He let out a low gasp upon seeing her take control, feeling some blood hastily flowing to his lower regions.

Her words were like music to his ears, and he kept grinning like an idiot. He was so happy she felt this way about him. He lowered his head, kissing the small space between her shoulder and neck.

"Take off your pants, Hee," she grabbed his belt, trying to take it off.

Her command had him on edge. He was so eager to obey that he didn't waste a second and quickly complied, undoing his leather belt and taking off his trousers as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Seeing him completely naked in front of her made her nervous, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear while looking over to the side.

Why did he have to look so ethereal and luscious?

The moment she averted her gaze to another direction and started playing with her hair, urging him to be even closer. He let out a slow breath and took in her appearance from head to toe.

She always had a way of looking vulnerable yet seductive that made his heart flutter with every heartbeat.

He leaned over, gently laying her back on the bed, getting on top. 

She gasped quietly, having him this close making her feel some type of way. Her hand wandered on his neck, pulling him lower to get a taste of his luscious lips one more time.

Heeseung moaned as she tugged him downwards and let her explore his body. It was a feeling that left him with no words.

He let his body rest on hers, making sure she was in a comfortable position as his hands roamed around her flawless body, trailing upwards until they ended up on her breasts.

She hitched once his warm palms held them, cautiously caressing them. Her hands rested upon his, guiding them to cup her breasts a bit more.

His touch was tender and careful, making sure not to hurt her while molding his hands to fit her curves. Her hands encouraged and guided him more, immediately tightening. Nevertheless, he made sure to keep the pressure at a minimum.

The feeling of the heat between their bodies, the sensation of their fingers running over each others' bodies, and the delicate kissing was enough to make his breath pick up pace as he groaned softly.

"You're so beautiful," she breathed out, every bit of oxygen getting cut off in her system whenever he looked at her with that dazzling gaze.

He sensed a deep level of contentment, letting his lips brush against hers. They were warm, and the feeling of her soft body under him left him feeling so excited that his heart would burst.

The fact she even wanted to be with him in that moment made the experience more fulfilling to him, the love only growing with each passing second.

He guided his mouth lower, from her neck to her collarbones, until he had reached her petite breasts, rubbing his face against them. He couldn't get enough of her scent and warmth, kissing and licking her nipples.

The tingling sensation of his tongue made her body shiver, bringing a rush of excitement. Her hands moved upwards to his hair, letting her fingers run through it. She failed to hide her moans, a few escaping, causing a surge of ecstasy to run to her toes, which curled in response. It was quite difficult to maintain her composure.

Her whimpers drove him crazy, glazing her teats tenderly like they were his favorite type of ice cream he couldn't get enough of.

She looked down at Heeseung's erection, grabbing it in her hand. Her fingers wrapped around it gradually, her heart rate racing, mind all over the place. She was lost in passion and had a hard time believing this was happening.

He leaned to her ear, his breath brushing over her after whispering her name. Her touch sent shivers down his spine, but he was also excited at the same time. It's been a while since the last time he had felt the sensation of a woman's touch on him, and he liked it.

She kept guiding her hand, traveling up and down his shaft. He continued twitching in her hand, overstimulated by her touch and existence. She struggled to properly inhale, the intensity of their activities sucking in all the clear oxygen roaming around the room.

Heeseung was going crazy. He was shivering and jolting, all his sensations heightening, and his body was becoming a little sensitive. She didn't have to touch his sensitive area to make him squirm. The way she used her hand to stroke him made any self-control he had left fly out of the window. The pleasure of her touch was overbearing.

"I missed you so much," she confessed, her thumb pressing on the head of his member, causing him to hiss in pleasure.

"I missed you too, Y/N," he whispered, letting a low moan slip out of his lips. She had his full attention. Not even his breath would slip away.

The way she took pride in making him squirm and moan, the way she traced him like a paintbrush across a canvas, made his heart skip a beat, wanting more of her.

He slowly thrust his member into her hand, practically using her to ease his arousal. She guided her palm gently down his shaft, letting him pleasure himself using her body. She kissed his neck, gently biting it. It was fun to care for the dominant one in the relationship.

Heeseung groaned as her lips kissed and nibbled on his neck. The feeling of the kisses left the blood running hot through his veins, sending a rush of heat through, slightly spasming below.

His hands moved down her body, one of them grasping her hips. She groaned as he felt his fingers circling her sacred part, spitting down for easy access inside.

"You shouldn't be doing this," he panted, his index playing with her clit.

"I should be the one pleasuring you," he stopped her from doing anything more, not wanting her to feel as though she needed to compensate him in any way.

His hand moved down to her body, skimming over her skin and body before settling down between her legs. His fingers caressed her folds, sending shivers.

"But I want to," she pouted, attempting to close her legs when his face was inches away from her exposed lower part.

"I know you do, but it's time that I got to return the favor to you," he cupped her thighs, squeezing them gently as he lifted her legs over his shoulders.

She covered her mouth, closing her eyes the minute his tongue brushed over her woman parts, causing her to throw her head back from euphoria.

Heeseung's touch was gentle but firm. He wasn't being forceful, he wasn't being rough, he was merely enjoying the moment of watching her body shake and tremble.

His hand moved lower and lower, his finger tracing your entrance.

His spit slipped inside, alongside his fingers, moving them in and out with ease while licking her clit. He pushed his fingers in more, curling them upwards to hit that sweet spot that would make her moan and groan in pleasure.

"Hee," she panted, drooling over how good she was feeling, tugging his hair since she needed to hold onto something. After all, she was going through cloud nine.

His touch left her gasping for air like a dying woman. She had no choice but to squirm and moan, letting a wave of ecstasy take over. It felt like she was in another world, the feeling extremely intense.

Heeseung's fingers circled and moved inside her, causing her to dissolve. She gritted her teeth, hands forming into fists as the pleasure overstimulated her.

His were moving slowly and methodically, focused on her that the world around him almost didn’t exist anymore.

It was as if the both of them were in their little worlds, enjoying the feeling of being together, their breathings syncing, bodies blending into one blossom. His hands slowly picked up the pace, going slightly quicker while remaining gentle.

"Hee," she called out softly, fighting to contain her lewd sounds, legs shaking slightly as the stimulations were overlapping. She felt like she was going to explode any second.

He knew what you were going through because he could see her expressions rapidly changing with each lick and curl. She was reaching that point where she couldn't hold it in anymore. It made him happy since this was proof that he was capable of pleasuring her to such an extent.

"I love you," she cried from the pleasure, arms crossing over her face to hold it all in. His fingers were quickly moving deeper and faster. He wanted her to experience as much as she could right now.

The words of affection got Heeseung feeling all mushy inside. He wanted to please her, to make her experience everything he could give.

"I-" her mind went blank, turning your head from one side to the other, feeling her climax building up inside. She was so close, and she couldn't hold on anymore. Her hand immediately grabbed his free one, tightly gripping it.

Heeseung didn't stop, speeding up to drive her over that edge.

"Hee-" she called desperately, legs shaking as he kept licking and moving his fingers quicker.

"Relax… Just relax, Y/N… Let go, let go for me," he said, his voice soft but commanding.

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her body shaking and tugging rapidly as she reached her climax, completely covering his fingers in her arousal. Heeseung smiled, licking all of her cum from his fingers and entrance, edging her with his kitten licks.

"Fuck," she cursed, overstimulated by everything.

She felt like all the tension had left her body - as if gravity had let go, and she was floating in the air. Her mind was blank, body trembling, breath quick and shaky as the feeling of pleasure was running all through your system.

"Heeseung," she whispered, pulling him closer.

He smiled a little as he moved his hand up to her cheek.

She wrapped her arms and legs around his body, kissing his neck over and over again.

"Please, put it in," she begged, resting in his embrace.

The moment she spoke was almost like music to his ears, and Heeseung knew exactly what you were asking for.

He gently pushed her down onto her back, leaning over with his hand trailing down her shoulder and chest to her neck. He let his other hand move lower slowly to touch her properly.

"Are you ready?", he whispered.

She kissed him, letting her actions speak. Her tongue immediately slid inside, breathing and moaning into his mouth.

He matched her energy, his tongue fighting with hers. He wasn't being gentle, neither was he being a beast. He was allowing the moment to unfold, not rushing it. The wet kisses were leaving them yearning for more.

"I don't want to wait anymore, Hee," she conveyed, wholly resting her body on the bed. Her legs were still wrapped around his waist, putting her arms above her head.

It was her way of letting him know that she was ready. That she needed him, now.

Those words sent his blood boiling, causing his member to twitch and jolt from the feeling of wanting her so badly.

He looked down at her marvelous body, noticing the position she had placed herself in for him - the invitation he saw in her eyes made him go wild.

He leaned down to her, his breath handling her with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Are you sure you can handle me?" he whispered, his voice a little low and husky from the intense moment.

"Stop talking and just do it already," her patience was getting thin, rubbing her lower part against his.

He grinned, unable to hold back the smile on his face after she snapped at him. With his body resting over hers, his hands went to the back of her legs, squeezing them slightly.

He looked into her eyes once more before pushing his body forward, aligning his shaft at her entrance. It wouldn't have been Heeseung if he hadn't teased first, rubbing his member against her slickness. He enjoyed watching her whimper in agony and frustration.

Her mind went blank the more he teased, swept away from his touch. There wasn't one single thought in her mind, merely focusing on this moment.

Her hands gripped his muscular arms, moans getting louder with each moment he rubbed against her beautiful body.

Heeseung's mind was on nothing but giving her satisfaction. Her legs gripped his back, voice becoming more breathy and soft as she wanted him to ease her arousal.

He smiled, and without a warning, he put himself in, his dick sliding inside her smoothly, causing both of them to moan loudly.

Her slippery and hot walls trapped him inside, trying to soothe his tugging and jerking shaft. He groaned, his abdomen drawing in at every push, shaking his head from the vigor of pleasure. She was unreal, her beauty, her body, just all of her.

Heeseung opened his eyes after calming down, his breathing deepening. His lips agonized for hers, huffing his compressed desire and longing into a powerful and passionate kiss. It was the longest one of today, sucking her lips in his mouth, his tongue grazing over, between, or under them continuously. He couldn't get enough, cursing at how unbelievable this was.

Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it in her ears, not believing that this was happening to her right now.

"H-Hees…" she could barely say his name as her voice quivered. He was using one hand to hold her against him, his other moving down to her hand.

"Y/N…" He breathed out, his voice husky and shaky. His thumb rubbed her hand, squeezing it gently to the point she could feel his touch.

The feeling of him being inside was a mix of many things, but the main factor was that it felt right. His body fit like a puzzle inside, like two pieces finally joining together.

She had used this expression before, but there was no better way of describing this bliss. It was too perfect to be true.

She was losing her mind, forgetting to breathe.

“Take a deep breath,” he whispered, the words barely audible from being so lost in the moment.

His hips slowly moved alongside her, their bodies now both thrusting together, absolutely lost in the moment.

All of his thoughts disappeared, the rush for pleasure consuming him. His lips met her shoulder between kisses, his tongue licking along it.

She did as he said, inhaling and exhaling filthy noises, turning him on even more. Her eyes were teary, not because it hurt, but because it felt too good.

“Good girl,” he whispered, caressing her hair.

His hips kept moving, taking longer, his back arching as he did. It took everything in him not to lose himself in the pleasure, to hold back and make sure that this was a long and enjoyable experience for both sides.

"Don't ever leave me again, please," she pleaded, realizing how emotional she was getting with each thrust. The fear inside was climbing over her walls, ready to ambush.

"Never," he vowed, kissing her with such desperation that he couldn't control himself any longer. It was like he was craving more of her.

Her hands held onto his hips, nails digging into his skin for support. Her legs were starting to give up, shaking from the intensity and ecstasy of their lovemaking.

Heeseung noticed her legs, moving his hand down to grip her thigh and hold it up slightly. He knew that he had to make adjustments to take it slower and not wear her out so quickly.

“Heeseung,” she breathed out, watching their bodies moving together with every single thrust. How he slid inside her and pulled away, completely disappearing inside her while hitting her hallowed spot. She threw her back, the image sending goosebumps all over.

He watched her body twitch and shiver, nails digging into his back. His breath was growing shaky, incapable of thinking about anything but being inside of her, enjoying the moment when the two of them were connected completely.

She looked at him through her droopy eyelids, toiling to look straight as he kept pushing himself deeper. Her mouth was drooling slightly, a light string of saliva tracing down her neck. This had to be what they meant by being fucked until your brain was empty.

"I love you," he moaned, his voice shaking and his breath increasing in speed. He could barely keep himself from falling in that moment; he was trying his best to keep a steady rhythm.

Her eyes rolled back, completely deteriorating in his thrusts. The deeper he fucked her, the more her insides quivered.

Heeseung pushed even deeper, his mouth open and his breaths coming out in small puffs of white air.

Her nails left long scratches on his back, losing control over herself.

"I'm here," he whispered against her neck. "I'm not going anywhere." Every word he said had a sense of urgency and determination to it. He was there, in her arms and he wasn't leaving her.

"I love you so much, Hee," she sobbed, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Her moans occasionally slipped out due to his magical thrusts, becoming one with him.

"I love you too," he said quietly as he raised his other hand to her forehead and gently ran his fingers through her bangs. His hand came down to caress her cheek and he looked directly into her eyes. The passion he felt for her was overwhelming, and he couldn't think of anything at this moment but her and the wonderful moment they were sharing.

Heeseung moved his mouth back to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly. This feeling of belonging and unity between the two of them was just incredible.

His thrusts were longer but at the same time slower, his hand moving down her thigh and moving her legs down to his, he needed more grip for the both of their pleasure.

She bit her lips, eyes shutting at the phenomenal experience, throwing her head back and slightly arching. Her chest started hurting a bit, as their intercourse was getting a bit intense.

"Hey," he breathed, pulling himself out for a moment from your body. "Are you okay?"

It seemed that he caught on to the fact that she was beginning to feel some pain. He moved to the side and looked down at her, his face concerned.

"Sorry, it just," she pointed to the wound, exhaling loudly.

He realized that he made her discomforted. He couldn't stop himself from frowning, his face looking concerned.

"Don't apologize," he said, his voice a little low. "Just tell me what I can do to help relieve the pain, alright?"

"Maybe if we lay on our sides," she proposed, struggling to make herself turn

"That's a good idea," he helped her turn, leaning behind her and putting his arms around to help her stay in that position. His body eased into that position, laying his head behind her, arms holding her, and his chest touching her back.

"That's better," she smiled, breathing a bit easier now.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I was enjoying the moment so much that I got a little carried away…"

"No, it's ok, I was enjoying it as much as you," she turned her head back a bit, grabbing his hands and putting it on her stomach.

Heeseung's body relaxed after her reassurance, leaning in more to wrap himself around her, the top half of his body covering her while the lower half pushed deeper into her.

She whimpered when he slid back in, squeezing his hands with a resonant sigh. This time, he was slower and more gentle, kissing from her nape all down her spine, leaving a lengthy trace of ardor. His mouth traced slowly down her back, turning his adoration into a sensational experience.

It was different this time because his concerns about her comfort were clambering. He never wanted to hurt her, only aiming to give her pleasure. Hence, he grabbed her leg, putting it over his so he had more space to enter deeper, to hit that spot that sent her through the roof.

As expected, she let out a deep gasp, the sound escaping from her almost involuntarily. Heeseung's tongue traced another slow line down her spine and back up again, savoring her taste.

He caressed her inner thigh, moving his hand back to her chest to play with her teats. His thumb and index grabbed them, twisting them around. He loved her appearance, but her breasts were the real treasure he never got enough of.

Words weren't able to describe how incredible this moment was, how their bodies connected and merged into one blossom of fervor.

His hands trailed up and down, drafting her marvelous curves. His touch felt light and gentle, yet there was still a sense of urgency and power behind it.

"You're so fucking beautiful, it's driving me crazy," he cursed, squeezing her breast.

"You're… you're so perfect," he spat out in between kisses, his body getting comfortable and used to this position. He bit down more forcefully on her neck, his kisses leaving more and more red marks.

"Hold me close, please," she whimpered, looking for his hands on her body.

"I got you," he said, body shifting to fully align with hers, arms gripping her from behind to tighten. He brought his face into her neck, his breathing speeding up with each kiss he gave her.

"Never let go," she sobbed, squeezing his hands with her trembling ones.

"Never, I promise," he pledged, holding her close to his chest.

She could feel his heart beating in time with hers, both sounding like they were about to explode.

"Never," she repeated, praying it was going to become true.

Heeseung kissed her deeply and passionately, pressing his body up against hers.

He was aware of her intonation, the worries raking in her head. Every kiss was stronger, more intense, and hotter than the last as he had to destroy all of them, one by one. His lips moved along her neck, tongue encircling on her neck, licking along it as he left no spot untouched.

She sat up, pushing him back on the bed. Heeseung's eyes widened, his reflexes quickly grabbing her wrists to prevent her from falling back.

She slightly groaned, lowering her head a little to catch her breath.

"Can you also sit up?" she proposed, wanting the two of you to make love while hugging each other.

He did as she asked, lifting himself a bit, leaning his back against the bed as he sat up with his legs spread. His hands held her back, one of his hands moving down to hold her leg as the other rested back on his. His mouth met hers, giving her a long kiss, not letting go of her in any way.

"I wanted to look at you," she voiced as she guided his shaft back inside her, scrunching her face.

"That's fine," he breathed out, his voice hoarse from being in her again, the constant switching driving his member to aggravate.

His eyes looked at her while her body trembled and twitched, his body feeling incredible. It was almost like being high, heavenly, and divine.

"I can feel your heart beating against mine," she smiled, her chest brushing against his, her perky nipples stimulating themselves.

Heeseung's heart beat faster every time she did that, her soft hands tenderly caressing his body, as if it would break in her delicate touch. She went over the muscles of his leg, his stomach, his chest, and eventually his arms. Her touch sent shivers down his spine and made him moan and sigh, realizing just how much she was driving him crazy.

"I missed you so much," she chuckled, masking the pain in her voice by cupping his cheeks.

"I missed you too," he breathed out, his lips locking with yours, making sure to kiss her deeply to show how much she meant to him.

Every kiss and bite seemed to drive a feeling of euphoria through his body, like every time he kissed her, a wave of happiness and satisfaction coursed through.

She closed her eyes when he caressed her back, circling it with a tender push. He made her feel so comfortable and safe, all with just one look, one touch, one kiss.

His kiss was the sweetest thing, his hands and lips exploring every inch of her. He wanted to feel all of her curves and touch every inch of her skin.

Her fingers wandered into his hair as the kiss deepened, huffing into his mouth while gently moving up and down, making both of them feel the most wonderful fractions inside.

He pulled her closer, their bodies wrapped around each other, unable to let go of one another. Their hands rested along each other's sides and their legs slightly entwined underneath.

Heeseung's tongue slid in and out of her mouth, exploring all of the areas he had already tasted before. He licked her upper lip after moving his hands down her hips.

He firmly gripped them, guiding her up and down his cock while he sucked on her neck, leaving trails of hickeys.

His breath warmed her icy skin and his lips kissed and nibbled along. Her body was starting to tremble and shake, his tongue returning to her lips. His kisses were extremely passionate, the ones where she forgot to breathe or think.

She pulled away, staring into his eyes through her lax gaze, mouth slightly agape, lips covered in their saliva. Her brain was empty, not thinking about anything but his presence and being inside her.

It felt like a deer caught in the headlights, clueless and innocent.

Heeseung smirked, watching her stare back but not knowing what to say. She appeared so pure it made him want to kiss her over and over again, fully swallow her in smooches and happiness.

He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her face towards him again, this time gently kissing her neck.

Her wet lips brushed against his neck, quietly puffing and huffing. Her saliva was pooling on his shoulder since she rested her face on it, unintentionally drooling from the sensation.

Neither of them had any intention of stopping, wanting this moment to be eternal. When he saw how much she was enjoying herself, when he felt how aroused she was and how much he was giving her pleasure his lips curled into a satisfied smile.

His hands moved back from her cheeks to her hips again, squeezing her waist. His kisses still moved along her neck, his tongue occasionally nibbling at her collarbone and leaving it slightly red from the small love bites. 

She was drunk-dazed from his love and affection, from his kisses and touch, from his presence. One man was enough to wreck your entire world over and gather it up back, and that was Lee Heeseung. 

"I love you," he muttered. 

Nothing else was on his mind other than how gorgeous she looked, how incredible she felt, and how good it was to see every expression on her face from pleasure to satisfaction.

"Say it again," she murmured into his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You want me to.. say it again?" he asked, his voice a bit playful, yet his smile warm and genuine.

He moved his tongue to the side of her neck, running it from her ear to her collarbone, kissing it softly.

"I love you."

"Again," she smiled, closing her eyes from the exhaustion.

Heeseung chuckled, caressing her cheeks and running his fingers through her hair.

"Hmm, should I?" He teased, his voice mischievous.

"Should I say it again?" His breath and hand fondled her neck with marks.

"Mhm," she nodded, lazily dragging her lips on his neck.

"I love you..." he breathed out, moving his lips down until they reached hers.

"How many times do you want me to say it?"

"Until the day I die," she mumbled, eyelids shut and mouth still drooling, body completely relaxed and leaning against his.

"I love you," he repeated, giving you a light kiss.

"I love you." Another kiss

"I love you." Another one.

"I love you." The last one, slightly rougher than the rest. 

"How much, though?" her eyelids open a little, giving him a tired, but extremely seductive look, the one he lost himself in each time. 

"Hmm.. let me think," he chuckled, feeling the hotness mounting in himself from her look alone.

"If I could, I would take all of your pain away and replace it with the happiness you deserve. I would give you the whole world just to see you smile in my arms every day. I would give my life to make yours wonderful. I would sacrifice anything just so you can feel safe and loved. "

She whimpered at his words, eyes watering and insides rolling over. Her nails dug into his back again, hiding her flushed, red face in his shoulder.

"I would fight for you and protect you with my life, not allow anyone to hurt you ever again. I would fondle you in love and affection, from the moment you open your eyes till you close them," Heeseung breathed out, her scent intoxicating him.

"S-stop," she whinced in pleasure, eyes rolling back. The more he spoke, the closer she was to cumming, his words messing up her insides.

"You're my world, my life, my home, my reason to breathe every day. I want to take care of you and protect you, make you happy, and keep you warm every single time you feel cold or sad," his breathing shallowed as he spoke, feeling incredibly turned on by her reaction.

"E-enough," she pulled back, throwing her head back. He grabbed her wrists, not allowing her to escape his love.

"Never," he responded, pulling her back into his arms.

"I want to be with you all the time, I want to feel your body against mine, I want to make you feel loved, I want you to be mine and me to be yours until we die."

"S-shut u-up," she stuttered out, knowing she was minutes away from her orgasm.

"Why would I stop? " he asked, moving his thumb over her shoulder, circling and brushing her skin with the slight graze of a nail, leaving little marks on her skin.

He was also close to his climax, so he was more determined to finish the job than ever. His body tightened around her and his kissing became more profound and stronger.

"You need to hear the truth," he hissed in her ear, clasping her buttocks in his hands, pushing her onto his dick. 

"H-Heseung, I'm gonna-" she trembled, biting onto his shoulder to keep her loud moans in.

"Don't hold it in," his mouth ran along her shoulder and her arm, the marks getting darker with every kiss.

"Cum with me, please," she pleaded urgently as if her life mattered to it. 

"I will, don't worry," he kissed her cheek, caressing her head. 

Without another minute, her nails dug deeper, her pussy trapping his shaft in her fully. Her walls spasmed in a periodic pattern, sucking him in. Her clear cum glistened his shaft, wrapping him in its warmth and comfort. 

"Good girl," he whispered, his jaw twitching slightly. He wrapped both of his arms tighter and pulled her into a messy kiss.

His release followed up right after, managing to pull out just in time to cover her abdomen in his crystal white load. He panted as his fingers traced his cum on her stomach, spreading it all across her. 

His other hand gently laid her down, licking all of his mess off of her, the same way he did with her own. 

Perhaps it was the overstimulation he loved to observe on her or the fact that she clung to him more after cumming. Either way, he didn't stop rolling his wet tongue along her body. 

"My good girl," Heeseung whispered into her slick hole, pushing his tongue inside to slurp up all of her cum like it was a treat. 

Did he love her? Yes.

However, was he a bit of a sadist? Yes.

A low moan escaped his lips as he felt his mouth filled with her cum, his free hand gripping hers tightly. 

"H-hee."

He lifted his stare, landing on her adorable one, beseeching him to hug her. 

"You look so cute when you’re all tired like this, Y/N," he smirked, a faint peck landing on her cheek. His hand intertwined with her, the other playing with her hair. 

Sometimes, the amount of love he harvested for her managed to surprise him, finding himself falling apart in her touch and gaze. 

"H-hee," she whispered, closing her eyes. She tried to fight her exhaustion, but it was starting to get to her.

He saw how drowsy she looked, so he pulled her tighter to his body. 

"Go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," he kissed her, his voice very relaxed and comforting.

"You promise?" she murmured, half asleep on his chest. 

"I promise," he assured, kissing her forehead and tucking her against him, pressing her body against his.

His hands stayed on her side, keeping her safely in his warm embrace.

"Until the day I die."

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

Taglist: @end-hyphen, @hee-pster, @jakeswifeyy, @gegeetime, @heerated, @jayked, @forjongseong, @enhastolemyheart

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! ^^

───────────────────⊹⊱✫⊰⊹────────────────────

@maggstar

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

you sleep with a firearm, i should've pulled it on you

No matter how many times Terry awoke to a dual-hair-colored mage staring him down, it never got any less… jarring, to put it lightly. He yelped, seeming to equally startle Callum, who drew back.

“Oh! Sorry!” he exclaimed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No no.” Terry attempted to wave it off, also trying to put his heart back in the proper place in his chest, wheezing. “Just, uh, just gave me a wee little fright! Nothing to, uh, nothing to worry about. So! What can I do for you this fine…” He glanced out the window. Not even dawn yet. “Twilight?”

Callum sat back on his shins. “I needed to ask you some questions. Burning questions.”

That couldn’t have waited until a reasonable hour? Terry refrained from asking. There were always naps. “Ask away.”

“Were you there?” he asked.

Terry sat up straight. “What?”

“Were you there?”

“Again, I say: What? What, exactly, are you asking me if I was there for?”

“When he got out,” Callum repeated, like it was meant to be obvious. “I need to know how it happened. When we fight him next time, it needs to be foolproof.”

He ventured to set a hand on his arm, this boy who was so young but so much like Claudia, vibrant and curious and intense. “I don’t think there’s such a thing as foolproof–”

The mage shrugged it off, not unkindly. “Just answer my question, Terry.”

“Claudia had to do a spell,” Terry said after a pause, the events of that day playing in slow-motion, wondering if, for the hundredth time, maybe he could have taken her down a different path at the fork in the roads. Maybe he could’ve taken her off the trail entirely. “To return a spirit to a body.”

It was difficult to explain, eerie, but everything in the room was suddenly off. His hair stood on end, the fire stopped crackling and waving in the hearth, and Callum got very, very still. “What did you say?” he said, not even a question, exactly, in a voice Terry had never heard before that sent something he didn’t like down his spine.

He shifted away from the zappy prince. “Um, a spell. To return a spirit to a body.”

Green eyes on fire. Callum’s, or Claudia’s?

He shook his head.

“Tell me the spell.”

It wasn’t hard. The words were engraved in his head. He should’ve stopped her himself, then and there if he had to. “Amor Stella Vitae.”

His eyes only widened for a second, then hardened. Fists clenched at his sides and he pushed himself up, cold in more ways than one–a curmudgeonly “Get a grip”–as he stalked off.

“Um, where are you going?”

The mage didn’t care to bother with a response, only threw the door open and let it slam shut.

ao3 :)

[potions-of-dark-devotion]

Gotta Get This off my Chest

Severus Snape & HBO Series

Alright first off, I know you are generally expecting well thought out essays from me but here I’m going to Ramble Freeform. You’ve been warned.

I don’t know how I feel at all about another actor attempting to play Severus Snape. JK Rowling is the main producer and honestly this worries me a lot considering the amount of hatred she has for LGBTQ people and the amount of hatred Severus has gotten in the last years. This space is bad sometimes but generally we have a fantastic community of people in this snapedom who love the character as he is written positives and negatives. I for one liked Snape from the first book I read and the first movie I watched.

I’ll be the first to admit that my image of him is very much wrapped up in Alan Rickman, and tho I greatly respect other peoples images of snape and I love the fan art they make, the thing that made Alan such an amazing character actor for the part was the unabashed love he had for the character. Look at any interview of him about Severus and you will see that he went to bat for him at every turn. What if we we are given someone who sees Snape through the eyes of the marauders fandom? What if they erase all of Snapes goodness or heaven forbid write extra scenes of cruelty to Lily that didn’t exist, or have him creep over her, or physically attack her, or characterize him as the aggressor with James when we all know it was the other way around? These kinds of fears keep me from being excited about the new series and instead leave me anxious.

For one thing, I wish they had focused more on a different period of wizard history, or a different part of the 1st wizarding war or even marauders/young Severus era, because there is so much to explore. I would have liked to explore story lines that really could use more fleshing out, and if JK Rowling is going to be a part of this she could have easily written new passages or short stories to suit this new narrative. I also worry about the fact that yet again because she is a producer there will certainly be no LGBTQ characters in the narrative and that’s a waste to me. We already have a fantastic interpretation of the books, and if they are doing a redo why not cast people of color or trans or any LGBT characters in the mix? It will be the same story just perhaps fleshed out more? I’m not sure what this series will bring to the table that the movies did not unless they radically change some things.

Yet, with this interpretation we may see many thing in the series that we don’t see in the books. Severus has two big scenes at the end of POA and GOF that were totally left out of the movies, and if this was left in and the “prank” was explored more in depth we could get to see an even more complex narrative than Alan was allowed to portray in the movies (largely due to directorial choices).

Severus as we all know is a complex character that can be different or difficult to understand without a trauma informed lense and the last thing I want is for them to shove him into a gross stereotype, or give him attributes that don’t exist in the books in order to cater to certain fandoms. I’m genuinely worried about the prospect of this. I also don’t want our fandom safe spaces that we’ve spent years curating to be over run with Snape hate again just because of the series. I could be being pessimistic. It’s just been on my mind lately.

No hard feelings it’s just…Severus Snape is my comfort character and I don’t want the idea of it ruined by people who don’t really understand him or who wouldn’t bat for him the way Alan did. Please understand me. Does anyone else have mixed feelings this way?

[miumura]

BITE ME — SUNGHOON ONESHOT

SYNOPSIS : Throughout history, it has been a common practice for vampires to select unsuspecting individuals from the streets as a source of food, feasting not only on their blood but also on their fear. Sunghoon, accustomed to encountering terrified individuals, found it unusual to come across someone devoid of terror in their eyes—until he met you. Not being in the right state of mind, you had requested him to bite you instead. This unexpected request stirred a peculiar warmth in Sunghoon's pale cheeks, deviating from his usual routine of draining all of one's blood.

— when a supposed feast turns into an surprising attraction.

PAIRING : vampire!sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE : fantasy, vampire au, strangers to lovers

WARNINGS : mentions of blood, biting, kidnapping, marks on body, mentions of food, cursing, mentions of toxic parents, abandonment, lmk if there’s any more!

FEATURING : all of enhypen

WORD COUNT : 15.7K+ (15722)

SOPH : its here its here!!! def the longest fic i’ve ever wrote 😭 . god this fic will be a ROLLER COASTER i swear (me saying that as roller coaster by txt is playing). i gen had so much fun writing this fic and i was so immersed in writing 😭 this is my first time writing a vampire au so i think its pretty okay for a first timer 🙏 posted a teaser of this and FINALLY finished it sooo thats great 😊 anyways, i hope you enjoy this fic as much as i enjoyed writing it <3

thank you for my wonderful mooties who read / seen some parts of the fic, your help + comments were great <3 + esp @flwoie , who proofread the whole thing that made their grammar checker crash MANY times … love you 😊🩷

also tysm for 1.5K+ :( <3 i can never be more grateful for all of you guys to keep little tabs on my works so thank you <3 i guess you say this is dedicated for it since i dont have an event planned out for it sooo <3!

ONE — desire for blood

The moon held high in the night sky, casting an eerie glow over the deserted streets. Sunghoon quickened his pace, brushing against the tall trees that stood before him. Seeking respite, he sought out an empty clearing, settling upon a rugged rock, a faint groan escaping his lips as a throbbing ache pulsated in his head. The change in his eye color served a reminder that he needed to find something, a person whose blood he could consume.

“Jay, I’m going to murder you.” he muttered under his breath, stealing a glance at the night sky. Jay had left him to venture alone, an attempt to foster his independence. “I better find someone, fast.” Renewed determination surged through him as he rose from the rock, relying on his heightened senses and supernatural swiftness to locate his prey.

It was difficult to find someone out in the dark, anyone would know better not to walk alone at night. Especially near the forests, near the vampire’s homes. Yet, there were always those foolish souls who remained oblivious to the dangers, dismissing the existence of the immortal creatures. This was the only time Sunghoon wished for a person just like that to appear in front of his eyes.

Moving with an otherworldly grace, Sunghoon's senses sharpened, propelling him forward with astonishing speed as the scent grew stronger. His swift strides covered considerable ground within mere seconds, until his gaze settled upon a woman strolling along the trail adjacent to the forest—an unwitting offering destined to be his meal for the night.

Focusing on his thoughts, he quickly tapped into the energy that coursed through his immortal veins. Gradually, his body began to shimmer, as if fading from the mortal realm. His transition was complete, and Sunghoon found himself invisible, taking swift steps toward his victim.

Unaware of the danger, his target continued along her path, oblivious to the invisible presence stalking her. Sunghoon positioned himself behind you, mere inches away, his concealed form ready to strike. A muffled scream escaped your lips, stifled by his own hand.

Frantically attempting to break free, her resistance waned, her body growing limp in his firm grasp. A smirk tugged at Sunghoon's lips as his elongated fangs became visible, a sinister transformation hinting at his insatiable thirst. Another night, another feast secured. Without delay, he took her away to his old castle, where he would drain every drop of blood from his new victim.

TWO — bite me

Upon entering the castle, Sunghoon was greeted by a bustling scene that filled the halls. His eyes landed on Jay, lounging in a chair and casually holding a wine glass filled with blood. Jay's legs rested nonchalantly on Sunghoon's cherished table, an act that irked him.

"You're back?" Jay chuckled, wiping the traces of blood from his mouth. Sitting up straight, he placed the glass down and met Sunghoon's gaze. "How did it go?"

"It went fine, but once I finish my meal, I'm going to make sure you regret leaving me alone," Sunghoon retorted, his tone laced with a simmering threat.

"Oh, come on—wait, you brought your meal home? I thought you were planning on disposing of that body," Jay remarked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"Yeah, well, Jake does this all the time," Sunghoon replied dismissively, his impatience growing.

"That's true. Well, you better hurry. I can sense that the girl is about to regain consciousness," Jay advised, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

"I'm on it. And please refrain from putting your feet on my table. I had it custom made for a reason," Sunghoon grumbled, annoyance evident in his voice.

"I can't make any promises," Jay retorted with a smirk, reclaiming his drink. Sunghoon rolled his eyes in exasperation before walking up the spiral staircase. He showed no signs of struggle as he made his way to his room.

Arriving at a door emblazoned with his name, Sunghoon pushed it open, revealing a room adorned with eerie decor. He carefully placed you in front of his ornate chair, a seat that had witnessed countless victims before their deaths.

Adjusting the leather straps to your wrists, he makes sure it’s difficult for you to break free. Settling into his seat, he positioned himself directly in front of you, patiently awaiting your return to consciousness. It didn't take long for the groan that signaled your awakening to reach his ears.

As you struggled to open your eyes, the world appeared hazy and disorienting. Blinking repeatedly, you attempted to discern the figure before you, but the blurriness persisted. Your hand instinctively moved to rub your eyes, only to discover the confinement of the restraints. Panic surged through your veins—were you being held captive?

"You're finally awake?" His voice resonated, sending shivers down your spine in a way no ordinary human's voice ever had. Gradually, your vision cleared, revealing a man seated across from you. His dark brown hair fell messily across his forehead, while he wore a black cloak, a suit adorned with ornate gold gems, and a partially unbuttoned white shirt, hinting at an air of elegance mingled with darkness.

Taking off his cloak, he makes eye contact with you again, and you get a gulp of fear. A smirk played on his lips, his sharpened fangs now fully visible, confirming your worst suspicions—he was a vampire. Your heart raced, with fear coursing through your veins with increasing intensity. Fuck, they were actually real. You were certainly not dreaming.

"Your fear only enhances your scent. Only makes it smell sweeter and irresistible for vampires like me." He remarked, rising from his seat, his senses captivated by the intoxicating aroma that came from you. Rare and special, your scent beckoned to him, captivating his vampiric instincts. Grateful that Jay's hunger hadn't pushed him to steal his meal in mere moments, Sunghoon savored the anticipation.

“You'd better calm that racing heart of yours before I lose control," he warned, his frigid breath grazing your neck as he leaned in closer to deliver his message. Inhaling deeply, you tried to steady your breathing, attempting to stop the pounding beats that echoed within your chest. Sunghoon emitted a low chuckle, surprised at how obedient humans could become when vulnerable to the supernatural allure of his presence.

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued as he observed your lack of response. Returning to his seat, he locked eyes with you once again, awaiting your words with an air of anticipation. Yet silence hung heavily in the room; words didn’t seem to escape easily from your mouth.

“You know, I’m not very patient,” he hissed softly, dissatisfied with the lingering quiet that filled his large room. “Don’t think you have any chance of making it out here alive. Just spit it out already.” Crossing his legs, he reached for the golden wine glass, tapping his sharp nails against the delicate surface, his gaze never leaving yours.

Caught off guard by the pressure, panic slipped past your lips, the words tumbling out before you could fully comprehend their weight. ‘Just….bite me.” The room fell into an eerie silence, granting you a moment to process what you had just said. Regret mingled as you realized the significance of what you had uttered.

“Well, that’s certainly unexpected,” Sunghoon responded, a mixture of bewilderment and intrigue flashing across his eyes. He sets the golden cup down, unable to form words himself. The request to be bitten, especially after learning his true nature as a vampire, was entirely new to him. It sparked a strange sensation within his being, a feeling he couldn’t quite decipher. Do humans also feel these kinds of emotions?

“You’re definitely a weird one,” Sunghoon remarked, still feeling flustered by your unconventional response.

“What do you mean?” you questioned, pretty oblivious to the whole situation.

“Most people wouldn’t dare ask a vampire to bite them, especially after their lives are on the line. It takes away the thrill of the feast,” he explained, a faint smile playing on his lips.

“Wait, so you vampires feed off fear too?” you inquired, attempting to make sense of the earlier statement.

“That’s a bit rude of you to address us that way.” A small frown forms on his face. “But, of course,” he replied, amusement evident in his tone, “that’s why I told you to claim your racing heart. Fear tends to make it beat even faster.”

“Well, guess what? I am scared right now,” you retorted, defiance lacing your words. “But you can just take a small amount of blood—definitely not all of it, I swear. And don’t forget, I’ll fight back if you push too far.”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, his amusement turning into a more serious demeanor. “Bold words from a mere weakling. Don’t forget who holds the power of a vampire here.”

“Don’t forget, you’re basically glued to that seat.” He taps on the arm rests of his chair, signaling the leather straps that restrain your hands from moving anywhere.

“Whatever,” you dismissed, frustration tainting your voice. “Are you going to bite me or not? I just want to get out of here, even though I have nowhere to go.”

A flicker of warning passed through Sunghoon's eyes as he leaned in closer. "Don't test my patience. You have no idea what I'm capable of."

Maintaining a strong gaze, Sunghoon straightened his posture, his eyes locking with yours. His tongue briefly flicked over his lips, causing his sharp fangs to show once more. “Do you really mean that?” he inquired, his voice laced with a mix of curiosity and hunger.

Nervously, you swallowed hard, offering a slow nod in response, Closing your eyes, you braced yourself, knowing his approach would come closer. The sound of his approaching footsteps echoed in your ears, heightening your fear. Your breath got caught in your throat as his breath brushed against your skin, signaling the upcoming bite. “The pain will be bearable. Just let me know when to stop, and I’ll stop,” he assured you.

“Really?” you stammered, your voice trembling, to which Sunghoon responded with a chuckle. “Vampires have self-control too, you know.”

With the warning given, his teeth easily punctured your neck, and to your surprise, the pain seemed to be more manageable than you thought. He proceeded to drink your blood, causing your head to grow dizzy as if he were sucking all your blood. “Stop,” you groaned, feeling the need to stop the dizziness.

Sunghoon withdrew his teeth, his mouth and fangs were stained with your blood. He was disappointed about how short you lasted, but your blood was great—the best he had in a while. It was sort of addicting; he couldn’t explain the taste. “Barely lasted two minutes. You truly are a weakling,” he snickered, wiping the blood from his chin.

"Shut up," you retorted, the remnants of your strength pushing you to respond. "Could you release my hands now? I promise I won't attempt to escape." You were desperate to remove the restraints being placed on your hands; you felt them becoming sore.

“Oh right,” he replied, walking over to free your hands effortlessly. As the restraints were finally removed, you let out a sigh of relief, feeling the soreness and observing the red marks left behind on your wrists. Instinctively, you tilted your head, your fingers gently making their way to the two puncture wounds near your neck. A hiss escaped your lips as pain radiated from the fresh marks.

“It should heal on its own soon, unless you’d prefer me to heal it immediately,” Sunghoon offered, his gaze focused on your every move. Curiosity tugged at his features as he awaited your response. “And how would you heal it?” you questioned, wary yet curious about his suggestion.

“Well, if you’re comfortable with me licking it–”

“I’ve heard enough,” you interjected, cutting him off. “I’ll pass—I’d be fine with some ointment or bandages.”

“Suit yourself. I’ll fetch something downstairs,” he stated, rising from his seat and adjusting the sleeves of his jacket. “Don’t even try to leave; we have matters to discuss later. And remember, there are other vampires roaming around here who won’t show you the same mercy I did. It would be wise of you to keep that in mind.” With those words of caution, he walked towards the room’s entrance and left after receiving your assurance,

Once again, you found yourself with nowhere else to go. And you definitely did not want to face any more bloodthirsty beings; one was definitely enough. However, an unsettling feeling gnawed at your stomach, and you tried to brush it aside by distracting your thoughts.

As you looked around, the weird atmosphere of the place suddenly became more noticeable, leaving you shuddering that you had only just noticed it.

THREE — keeping a secret

Leaving you to deal with your thoughts, Sunghoon ran down the stairs and made his way through the kitchen, determined to locate a first aid kit. As he rummaged through the cupboards, a voice suddenly disrupted his search, causing him to startle in fright. Jake, wearing a mischievous smirk, held a large cup of blood in his hand.

“God, don’t do that,” Sunghoon chastised, his heart still racing from the surprise.

“You haven’t had a good scare in a while, did you?” Jake chuckled, clearly amused by his reaction.

“Whatever. Do you happen to know where the first-aid kit is? I live here, yet I have no idea where things are kept.” Sunghoon said in annoyance, still looking in the cabinets.

“Why do you need it? You don’t seem to be injured.”

“I just want to have one in my room. I’m tired of coming down here every time I need something.”

“Ah, the life of a loner. That’s probably why Jay made you hunt for your own food—to get you out of your room. And you never leave that area.” Jake teased.

“And you never stop talking. Blood is all over your mouth; don’t embarrass yourself and wipe it.” Jake took Sunghoon’s remarks in stride. He wiped the blood from his mouth as instructed, unfazed by the insult. “The first aid kit is in that cabinet over there, second row.”

“Thanks. By the way, where’s Jay?” Sunghoon asked.

“Probably in the dining room. Why do you ask?” Jake responded.

“I need some more food.”

“Feast wasn’t enough today?”

“Not that. It was too good, and now I crave for more.”

“You should have shared; it must have been good if you say so,” Jake remarked playfully.

"Whatever. See you later. And make sure you clean up your mess. We don't need any more corpses lying around randomly," Sunghoon cautioned.

"Aye, aye, captain," Jake retorted, giving a mock salute.

After leaving Jake behind, Sunghoon continued his search for Jay and found him in the dining room, indulging in another feast. The woman’s screeches were so loud that it was possible to hear them outside of the castle.

“Oh god, not in open daylight.” Sunghoon pretended to cover his eyes, not wanting to see one of his brothers attack a person who's still alive. “We’re vampires, there’s no sunlight— ”

"Take a joke, will you? You're worse than Jake sometimes." Jay laughed, finding amusement in Sunghoon's reaction.

"Chill out, would you? No wonder the others tease you so much," Jay shot back, grabbing a cloth to wipe his mouth as he glanced at Sunghoon.

"Do you need anything?" Jay asked, curious to know what Sunghoon wanted.

"Yeah, do you have any blood packets?" Sunghoon inquired.

"Again? I told you to hunt for something fresh. Why settle for a packet?"

"You saw me carrying someone earlier. I guess that wasn't enough?"

"You need to hunt with me next time. You're not very good at it," Jay remarked.

"Says the person who needs at least five people to feel satisfied with their hunger," Sunghoon countered.

"Shut up. Anyway, you can take that one," Jay pointed to a person sitting in the room without moving. "He's under the influence of sleeping pills. He won't wake up for about eight hours."

"Well, it's certainly better than nothing," Sunghoon responded.

"Are you kidding? That one is blood type AB, the best kind you could get. You should be thankful," Jay emphasized.

Without further ado, Sunghoon sank his teeth into the guy's neck. The person's face grew pale, and their heart gradually slowed until it ceased to beat.

"You were right; that was the best kind," Sunghoon stated, satisfied with his meal. Though, it wasn’t better than yours.

"And you sure were starving. You owe me," Jay reminded him.

"Whatever. I'll just ask one of the guys to hunt someone like that for you," Sunghoon teased.

"You better keep your promise," Jay warned.

"I can't make any promises," Sunghoon mocked Jay, leaving the dining room and making his way back to his room. Jay laughed once more, sinking his teeth into the woman again.

Perhaps he would find a way to make you pay for making him come down here to face two of his annoying siblings.

FOUR — sealing the deal

After what seemed like hours, Sunghoon didn't take that long to come back to his room. I guess he is pretty attached to his own room. Meanwhile, you remained seated, growing increasingly bored as time dragged on. As he closed the door behind him, Sunghoon spoke up, breaking the silence.

“I’m back. Have you noticed any improvement in the healing of your wounds?” he asked. You emitted a soft hum in response, acknowledging the progress. Brushing your fingers over the scabs, you could feel the rough texture of the forming scars.

“Though they’re drying up, I still wouldn’t mind some ointment. And, of course, bandages, of any kind, really,” you requested. Sunghoon surprised you by offering his assistance and asking for your consent. It was a rare display of kindness from him. "Sure," you mumbled, feeling a warm flush on your cheeks. Pushing aside the unfamiliar feeling, you tilted your head towards Sunghoon, allowing him to take care of your wounds.

Sunghoon approached you, and a slightly surprised expression appeared on his face because of your agreement. He brought a chair and placed it closer to you, taking a seat. He moved closer, carefully examining the wounds on your neck. After looking at them, he reached for the first-aid kit he had brought from the kitchen.

Opening the kit, he took out the tube of ointment and a pack of bandages. With gentle movements, he applied the ointment to your wounds, his touch surprisingly tender. You felt a soothing sensation as he spread the ointment over the scabs, alleviating some of the discomfort.

Once the ointment was applied, he proceeded to place a couple of bandages on your neck, securing them in place. He worked efficiently, his movements precise yet careful. The bandages provided a protective layer over the wounds, preventing you from picking at the scabs.

As Sunghoon finished tending to your injuries, he stepped back, looking at his work. “There you go,” he said softly, a hint of satisfaction in his voice. “That should help with the healing. If you want me to check up on it, just let me know.”

You thanked him, appreciating his unexpected act of kindness. Despite the circumstances, there was a fleeting moment of connection between you and Sunghoon—a brief glimpse of a different side to him.

As Sunghoon tidied up the first aid kit and stowed it away, an uneasy silence settled in the room. You anxiously twiddle your thumbs while waiting for him to address the matter he mentioned earlier.

"Oh, right!" Sunghoon exclaimed, as if suddenly remembering. He took a seat closer to you, causing a slight flutter of anticipation in your chest.

"You mentioned that you have nowhere to go, correct?" he confirmed, seeking clarification.

"Yes, that's right." You nodded, your voice tinged with curiosity. You couldn't help but wonder where this conversation was headed.

“How about I let you stay here?” Sunghoon proposed, his voice filled with a surprising offer.

“Here...?” you repeated, a hint of disbelief in your tone. The room you were currently in didn’t exactly scream comfort or safety.

“Yes, here in my room,” Sunghoon confirmed, slightly perplexed by your reaction. He was about to remind you of your past statement about having nowhere to go.

“And how long are you suggesting I stay?” you asked, wanting to clarify the terms of the arrangement.

“As long as you want,” he replied, not understanding why you’re hesitating to just agree.

“Well…I have to ask, what’s the catch?” you questioned, sensing that such an offer wouldn’t come without a price.

“You catch on quickly,” Sunghoon remarked, acknowledging how clever you were. “In exchange for your stay, I propose that you provide me with your blood. It seems like a fair deal, doesn’t it?”

“Woah, hold on,” you protested, feeling a mix of shock and distress at Sunghoon’s proposal. “There’s absolutely no way I’m agreeing to this. I mean, we just met! Aren’t you trusting me, a stranger, a little too much now?”

Sunghoon shrugged nonchalantly, seemingly unfazed by your reaction. “It didn’t strike me as that crazy of an idea, but I guess humans are more sensitive about these things,” he remarked, surprised at how fast your voice was raised at him. “I don’t know why you’re so baffled now; you were the one who asked me to bite you.”

“Okay, that was clearly different! It was due to shock, alright?” you said, clearly not being able to rack up any responses to fire back.

“But, whatever! Anyway, as we were saying, of course it sounds crazy to me! You’re a vampire, not some ordinary person that I know. It’s not like I can trust you completely,” you shot back, your frustration becoming more evident.

“Look, I don’t even know your name.” You paused, realizing the absurdity of the situation. You two were getting into a heated conversation, trying to make deals, yet you both haven’t introduced yourselves properly.

“Oh, right—the name is Sunghoon, Park Sunghoon,” he interjected, his tone brimming with impatience. You swore if he wasn’t a stupid vampire, you would’ve knocked him out right there.

“And yours?” He interrupts your thoughts, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.

“It’s Y/N,” you replied, slightly taken aback by his abruptness.

“Nice to properly have a greeting with you, Y/N,” Sunghoon says with a slight smile. “Now, let's go back to our previous discussion, shall we?”

“Glad you mentioned that. So, exactly how is this deal supposed to work? Where would I even stay, and how often would I have to give my blood to you? Lord, who knows, you might kill me on my second day staying here!” you exclaimed, wanting to understand how shameless Sunghoon can be with his crazy thoughts.

“I understand your concerns about the deal. Let’s address them one by one, alright?” You nodded, willing to hear him out despite your concerns.

“As for where you’ll stay, you obviously don’t need to worry about that. I mean, how bad could it be?” he added with a smirk. “Consider it your sanctuary; don’t worry about anything.”

“And regarding the blood part,” he continued, his tone serious. “I assure you, I have no intention of killing you—well, I’ll try not to. We can establish some clear boundaries after you accept this deal. And we’ll figure out something where you can provide blood for me in controlled amounts.”

You furrowed your brow, still skeptical. “But why do you even need my blood? Can’t you just feed on others?”

Sunghoon sighed, his expression softening slightly. “It’s not as simple as that. I won’t go into all the details now, but let’s just say that your blood has a unique quality that appeals to vampires, especially me. It’s not something I can easily explain.”

You pondered his words for a moment, considering the possibilities. The idea of staying at this castle with a vampire, in fact many, was still unsettling, but you were running out of options.

“Fine,” you finally gave in. “I’ll give it a try. It's not like I can do anything anyway. But if anything feels off or if you break our agreement, I’m out.”

Sunghoon nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Fair enough, Y/N. I’ll do my best to upload our agreement and ensure your safety.”

"Wait, so you’re telling me you put on the bandages and ointment for nothing?” you asked, touching the side of your neck.

“Oops,” he says, scratching the nape of his neck.

With that, a strange alliance between you and Sunghoon started to take shape, settling for a unique and uncertain journey ahead.

FIVE — the consequences

As the first night at Sunghoon’s place began, you couldn’t help but wonder how you had gotten yourself into this situation. It was clear that he hadn’t fully thought of a plan for your stay or how to ensure your safety amidst his unpredictable siblings.

Sunghoon, maintaining his composed demeanor, raced his mind as he contemplated the best course of action. Though Sunghoon lived in a spacious place with a huge room of his own, it became apparent that it was not designed to accommodate two people. After all, as a vampire, he would have never imagined sharing a room with a mere human, especially in a place he cherished deeply.

Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease, but he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. He reminded himself of the circumstances that brought you here, his promise to keep you safe, and the fact that this arrangement was temporary. He had to do something to make you feel comfortable; he isn’t that bad of a guy after all.

After a few moments of deep thought, he finally spoke up. “Y/N, I apologize for the lack of preparation. You see, I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

“Trust me, I wasn’t expecting this either, until you decided to kidnap me,” you joked, recalling the past moments and trying to tease him with it.

“I guess you’re right.” He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, smiling to himself as he remembered the past. “But here we are, working something out together.”

Sunghoon contemplated his thoughts, attempting to find a suitable solution. “Well, I guess you can just sleep on my bed.”

“What the hell are you saying? Me, sleeping on your bed?”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, surprised by your strong reaction. “What’s wrong with sleeping on my bed? Why do you seem so offended by the idea?” He blinks in confusion, not understanding the commotion with his idea. “You should consider this a luxury—even my siblings do! They rarely lay here, and I’m allowing you to.”

You crossed your arms, clearly uncomfortable with the suggestion. “It’s just...we barely know each other, and it feels too intimate to share a bed. Plus, it’s your personal space.”

Sunghoon tilted his head, feeling the need to tease you just a little bit. “Intimate? It’s just a bed; we are just sleeping on it. I don’t see it as a big deal. Besides, it’s a spacious bed, and I promise not to invade your personal space. What did you think was the intent behind my words?”

A mischievous smirk graced Sunghoon’s lips as he observed your cheeks turning a shade of red. Caught off guard by his response, you quickly cleared your throat, attempting to regain your composure. However, his gaze remained fixed on you, his smirk persisting, much to your annoyance.

You sighed, trying to find the right words. “Look, I appreciate your offer, but I think it’s best if we find another solution. I need my own space, and you should have yours too.”

“Alright, here’s the plan. You take the bed, and I’ll take the sofa. How does that sound?” Sunghoon proposes, trying to find a compromise.

“The sofa? Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable to sleep on for the night?” You voiced your concern, staring at the white sofa near his bed. It looked rather small, especially for his height.

“It can actually turn into a bed,” he reassured you.

“But I’ll feel bad if you have to sleep on the couch. Are you sure? We can always switch.” You protested, not easily accepting his kind act.

“Look, it’s either we both sleep on the same bed or I sleep on the couch. Keep arguing, and you’ll end up sleeping on the floor. Got it?” Sunghoon’s voice turned stern, attempting to make his point clear.

"...Understood," you reluctantly agreed, realizing his sudden change in mood.

You found yourself lying in Sunghoon’s bed, gazing up at the ceiling. The mattress was undeniably comfortable, but the unsettling atmosphere of the room made it difficult for you to drift off to sleep. Each time you closed your eyes, a chilly breeze seemed to brush against your body, further heightening your unease. This room was definitely not meant for humans to stay in.

Shifting slightly, you noticed Sunghoon’s silhouette remaining still in the darkness. His presence offered some sense of reassurance, but it wasn’t enough to completely dispel the unsettling feeling that hung in the air.

“Stop moving around so much; people might hear you,” Sunghoon whispered, his voice audible in the quiet room, causing you to freeze in your position. You didn’t know he was awake.

You remained silent for a moment, not sure if you should tell him the reason why. However, Sunghoon’s persistence broke the silence; his words were laced with a subtle attempt to gain your trust.

“No, I’m fine,” you replied, turning away from him and facing the other side of the bed.

“Sleep well, Y/N,” Sunghoon said, his voice echoing with the same enigmatic tone that had sent shivers down your spine when you first met.

In a way you couldn't quite understand, Sunghoon's presence was driving you to the edge of madness, albeit in a strangely captivating manner.

“So you’re suggesting I stay here for my entire stay?” you asked, still unsure of what had been planned by him.

“What? Would you rather be thrown into a bloodbath with six other vampires?” Sunghoon questioned you and was quite offended by your response.

“I think I’ll pass on that,” you replied, not eager to experience such a gruesome scenario. The thought of facing six vampires who were similar to Sunghoon, or even worse, sent a shiver down your spine. If they had possessed even a fraction of his intensity or darkness, you knew you would deeply regret your decision to stay. In fact, the idea seemed so terrifying that you would rather take matters into your own hands and end your own life than allow them to have a single drop of blood, Sunghoon included.

Ignoring the potential dangers ahead, you found yourself in his lavish library, with shelves overflowing with books. It was a comfortable and well-maintained space, with not a single speck of dust in sight. Picking up a nearby book, you asked, “You’re quite the reader, huh?”

You read the title, “How to Kill People : Guide for Vampires,” and quickly returned it to its original position. Sunghoon chuckled at your reaction, reminding you, “You’d probably see worse than that.”

His comment left you both intrigued and slightly unnerved, wondering what exactly he meant by it.

“Before I leave, let’s go over some rules I want to establish, shall we?” Sunghoon asks, only to get a nod from you. You hoped these rules weren’t going to be as bizarre as it was for you to be sleeping on Sunghoon’s bed for the whole stay.

Sunghoon dragged a nearby chair and settled himself into it. Resting his arms on the sides of the chair, he cleared his throat, preparing to lay down some ground rules.

"Rule Number One," he began sternly, pointing at you to emphasize his point, "you cannot leave this area until I say it's okay. As I mentioned earlier, I live with six other people who are extremely nosy. Any noise or disturbance will attract their attention, and they'll come running like meerkats trying to figure out what's going on."

You fought back a chuckle, imagining the scene he described, but you held it in, not wanting to upset Sunghoon by not paying attention.

"Rule Number Two," Sunghoon continued, his voice carrying a sense of seriousness, "is to never, and I mean never, expose yourself to them. They can get you killed in an instant, no joke. The last thing we need is another dead body lying around here, especially in my room."

You gulped, feeling a wave of unease wash over you. You nodded along to his words, but your mind began to wander, causing his instructions to fade into background noise. Your nods became automatic, hoping that he would finish speaking soon.

Sunghoon noticed your lack of focus, though he chose not to mention it. He debated whether to stop talking and address the issue or to continue and hope you would snap back to attention. Reluctantly, he decided to keep going, aware of the possibility that you were nodding along to nothing.

"...You got it?" he asked, his voice snapping you back to reality. You nodded and agreed, though you had no recollection of what he had just said. "Really? What did I say?"

You hesitated, realizing that you had completely missed his instructions. Sheepishly, you asked him to repeat it once more, hoping to catch up.

“We are going to be here for a long time, aren’t we?” Sunghoon let out a sigh, clearly disappointed.

He started from the beginning again, and this time, you made a conscious effort to pay attention.

At least that’s what he hoped you would do.

SIX — under his care

"You know, you're going to have to take care of me, right, Sunghoon?" You asked nervously, feeling the weight of your dependency on him.

"What do you mean? You should be able to take care of yourself," Sunghoon replied, seemingly indifferent to your needs.

“I need some food to survive being confined here; I’m not like you,” you pleaded, hoping he would understand.

"Oh. Take a blood packet," he suggested, opening a drawer to reveal a neatly arranged row of plastic packets. He quickly handed one to you, but you couldn't help but feel repulsed by the sight of the bright red liquid.

"I'm not a vampire, Sunghoon. I'm human. I need real food and water, not your blood packets," you protested, suppressing a gag.

"Oh, right," Sunghoon muttered awkwardly, realizing his oversight. He awkwardly moved closer, retrieving the blood packet from your lap and returning it to the drawer. He seemed to be slowly grasping the responsibility of caring for a human, but you couldn't shake the feeling that he resented it. The thought crossed your mind that he might even be contemplating killing you on the spot, and it sent a shiver down your spine.

“So…I’m supposed to hunt for you?” Sunghoon asked, sounding completely clueless about the needs of a human. “What kind of food do you guys enjoy?”

"I'm not really picky," you replied, trying to think of all the things you could eat.

"You're okay with raw animals?" he asked, clearly unaware of human dietary preferences.

"Are you trying to kill me?" you retorted, slightly alarmed by his suggestion.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really familiar with this," Sunghoon admitted, realizing his lack of knowledge.

"We eat warm, cooked foods. Sometimes when it’s cold, although it's not always enjoyable. You might need to cook something," you explained, hoping he would understand.

"Cook? The only thing I know is how to boil organs," Sunghoon confessed, his words never failing to make your jaw drop. He’s so unpredictable, you hate it.

"Enough of that," you said firmly, shaking your head to dispel the uncomfortable thoughts. "At least you can do something."

"You have to eat something cooked?" Sunghoon scrunched up his face, contemplating what the future held for him.

"Yes, that's what a normal human being needs," you replied.

"I'll figure something out. You're not picky, right?" Sunghoon asked, trying to reassure himself.

"Don't think I am," you responded, amused by his concern.

"I'll be back," he said, determination filling his voice.

"Don't take too long; I'm starving," you teased, sinking into Sunghoon's comfortable couch in the library and surrounding yourself with piles of books. You just hope he will do something right for once.

Leaving his room behind, Sunghoon let out a deep sigh of exasperation. Cooking a full meal that didn't involve blood was a daunting task for a vampire like him. The last thing he needed was to be caught in the act and subjected to endless questions from his nosy siblings. He moved swiftly and silently through the house, his senses heightened, ensuring that his movements remained undetected.

When Sunghoon opened the fridge, he wasn't surprised to find a limited selection of ingredients. After all, it was a typical vampire household with a preference for non-food items. Who would expect to see a fridge stacked with fresh produce? Luckily, among the assortment of mysterious meats, Sunghoon managed to unearth some ingredients courtesy of Heeseung's recent cooking practices. Heeseung seemed to have taken an interest in culinary pursuits, although the reason remained unknown.

"I'll keep it simple," Sunghoon muttered to himself, reaching for a container of eggs. Setting the eggs aside, he looks through the unorganized cupboards, looking at the scattered pots and pans. He cracked a few eggs into a bowl, whisking them with a fork. As he moved around the kitchen, the sound of clattering pans and plates filled the air, punctuated by brief pauses as he adjusted his movements to avoid making too much noise.

“What are you doing?” Heeseng’s voice rang out, laced with confusion, as he came to a sudden stop upon seeing one of his brothers actually cooking.

Sunghoon turned to face Heeseung, holding a pan in one hand and eggs in a bowl in the other. He couldn't help but feel a bit sheepish, caught in the act of preparing a meal.

“...Practicing?” Sunghoon shrugged, feeling a bit embarrassed about him catching him out here.

"You're making eggs? Want me to help? I can cook some meat or something." Heeseung offered, rolling up his sleeves. "Gotta get some protein for a guy like you." He flashed a smile and opened the fridge.

Sunghoon couldn't help but let out a quiet sigh, setting down the pan and bowl. Heeseung's easy-going nature reminded him why he was his favorite brother. Heeseung never questioned him unnecessarily and was always there to lend a hand when needed.

In no time, Heeseung finished cooking and guided Sunghoon through the steps. As he cleaned the countertop, he asked, "So, what made you want to try your hand at cooking?"

Sunghoon quickly tried to come up with an excuse, standing awkwardly with the dish in his hands. "Uhh...I've seen you cook multiple times and was curious. I thought I'd give it a try and see if I could make some real food. If it turns out good, maybe I'll start cooking more often."

"Ah, I see. Well, if you ever need any help or have any questions about cooking, my room is right next door," Heeseung offered.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind...if you're home," Sunghoon replied, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

As Sunghoon entered the library, he saw you lying on the couch, engrossed in a book, with a stack of books beside you. The sight of you brought a flutter to his heart, a feeling he couldn't quite explain. He greeted you and placed the dish on the table, letting out a sigh of relief.

"You have no idea what I just went through," he exclaimed, flopping face down onto the couch in front of you. You chuckled, and once again, he felt that ticklish sensation in his stomach. These random feelings were starting to puzzle him, but he pushed them aside and focused on your words.

"It's a shame you have to keep going through this," you remarked, surprised at how delicious the simple dish tasted.

Sunghoon sighed, realizing he would have to cook three meals like this every day and rely on Heeseung's help. However, he found himself not objecting to the idea. In fact, he rather liked it, though he couldn't quite figure out why.

SEVEN — unexpected encounter

As the days turned into weeks, the routine of sleeping in Sunghoon’s bed and spending time in the library continued. Sunghoon remained consistent in his actions, always bringing you food despite the strange glances he received from his siblings.

Engrossed in one of the books from Sunghoon’s collection, you heard the door creak open. Assuming it was Sunghoon returning, you began to express your relief, only to pause when you looked up and realized it wasn’t him standing near the door. Instead, it was a different guy—blond hair with bangs gracefully covering his forehead. He exuded an attractive presence with his tall physique and sharp features. Both you and the unknown guy shared a moment of shock, caught off guard by the unexpected encounter.

“I knew Sunghoon was hiding something!” he whispered to himself, unaware you could hear his words. He seemed rather happy that his prediction was correct rather than shocked by a random stranger at his house. “No wonder why that sweet scent lingers around his door,” he continues, pretending to act all smart.

“Um, who are you?” you questioned, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Oh right! The name is Jake. And yours?” he introduced himself and asked, offering a friendly smile. He seems way nicer than Sunghoon, as you thought.

“Y/N,” you said, offering the same smile back. He chuckles. “Nice to meet you, Y/N!”

“Dang, so Sunghoon was brave enough to keep a human hostage?” Jake remarked, clearly surprised that you even managed to live. The Sunghoon he knew would have sucked out all of your blood already. Were you that special to him?

“Where is he?” you inquired, wanting to know Sunghoon’s whereabouts. You couldn’t believe you’d be caring about someone you hated the first day you met him.

“Hunting, perhaps? Why, looking for some company?” Jake teased with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“I don’t mind...” you responded, contemplating the idea of having some company while you waited for Sunghoon’s return.

“Don’t mind if I do!” Jake exclaimed enthusiastically, grabbing a book he had been eyeing from the shelf. He hurriedly made his way over to you, claiming the empty spot on the cough. His vibrant energy was surprisingly comforting, quickly making you forget that he was just a stranger a few moments ago.

“What brings you here?” you asked curiously, genuinely interested in his presence.

“I always sneak into Sunghoon’s library, even though he never explicitly allows it. Sometimes he’s fine with it, sometimes he’s not,” Jake explained with a slight pout, recalling past experiences. “Especially this week! He specifically told everyone to stay out of his room and the library because of some deep cleaning. It’s complete nonsense! He always shows up to my room uninvited and complains whenever I do the same.” He scoffs, closing the book for a quick moment.

You chuckled at his storytelling, finding yourself drawn into his narration. It was as if you were being hypnotized by his words. Jake glanced at you, noticing the way your eyes crinkled with amusement. His smile widened, and he felt surprisingly comfortable sharing snippets of his life with you.

You found yourself engrossed in constant conversation with Jake, losing track of time as it slipped through your fingers. He made your entire day in the library more bearable, and you enjoyed his company immensely.

"Sunghoon should be returning soon," Jake mentioned, unaware of how much time had passed. "I should probably leave now."

"Oh, but will you come back tomorrow?" You asked eagerly, hoping he would say yes.

"I'll try my best. Just promise me that you won't tell Sunghoon that I've been sneaking in here, okay?" Jake requested, his eyes searching yours for assurance.

"I promise," you replied sincerely.

"Pinky promise?" he suggested playfully.

"Absolutely, I can even come up with something to prove that my lips are sealed. Maybe I can offer you my blood? You know, to seal our deal." you added, having no harm behind your words.

"You're quite bold, aren't you?" he remarked, slightly taken aback by your audacity.

"Do you want to?" you asked, your voice teasing.

"Where would you like me to bite you?" he quipped back, playing along with your banter.

And with that, Jake left with a broad grin, bidding you farewell with a wave. You waved back, and as your sleeve rolled down, it revealed the two distinctive fang marks near your wrist, a reminder of the unusual encounters you've had lately.

You hoped Sunghoon wouldn’t bother to check your arms.

EIGHT — unwanted guests

As days turned into weeks, Sunghoon diligently continued making your meals, ensuring you had warm and cooked food to sustain yourself. He became more skilled in the kitchen with each passing day, and you couldn't help but appreciate his efforts. Despite the initial awkwardness, a sense of familiarity grew between you, and you found solace in his presence.

Meanwhile, you continued to meet Jake in the library, enjoying each other's company and engaging in conversations that ranged from lighthearted to deep. He became a source of comfort and distraction from the confinement of the vampire household. The stolen moments with Jake brought a sense of excitement and adventure to your otherwise mundane routine.

If you were going to be honest, it would’ve been difficult to choose who was better between the two. While you appreciated Sunghoon's care and the bond that was slowly forming between you, there was an unspoken understanding that your connection with Jake was something entirely different.

Despite the initial success of the plan, Sunghoon's peculiar behavior didn't go unnoticed by his siblings. They started to find it strange that he never left his room and continued to cook meals despite being a vampire who normally consumed blood.

As Sunghoon returned to his room, Sunoo made sure to close the door behind him, maintaining the air of secrecy. When he joined his brothers downstairs, their confusion and concern were evident.

"What's going on with Sunghoon?" Jungwon asked, his expression reflecting his bewilderment after returning from a short trip.

"I've been noticing it too. He's been like this for the past week," Niki chimed in, shaking his head in disbelief. "This is not his usual behavior."

"He's been acting strange, not just with the cooking but also isolating himself in his room," Jay chimed in, furrowing his brows. "I tried talking to him, but he just brushes me off."

"He even told me not to enter his room and to stay away from his library," Heeseung added, his voice filled with genuine confusion. "It's like he's hiding something."

Sunoo, who had just returned from escorting Sunghoon back to his room, couldn't shake off his own concerns. "I've been trying to protect him, keeping everyone away from his room," he admitted. "But I don't know what's going on either. Something feels off."

The brothers exchanged worried glances, realizing that Sunghoon's behavior was a cause for concern. They knew they needed to get to the bottom of it, not only for their own peace of mind but also for Sunghoon's well-being. They decided to confront him together, determined to uncover the truth behind his recent actions and offer him support if needed.

Little did they know that their investigation would reveal the hidden secret you and Jake shared, adding an unexpected twist to the situation and potentially reshaping their perception of Sunghoon forever.

Sunghoon overheard his brothers' worried conversation, their voices growing louder and catching his attention. Concern filled his mind as he realized they might discover his secret. In a state of panic, he darted around, desperately searching for a solution.

Finding you in the library, he hurriedly approached you, his face filled with urgency.

"You need to hide right now," Sunghoon urged, his voice hushed but filled with intensity.

Startled by his sudden request, you quickly set aside the book you were reading and stood up, ready to follow his lead.

"My brothers are onto me. They suspect something's not right," Sunghoon explained, glancing around nervously. He keeps staring at his door, trying to listen for any sudden noises. "I'm afraid they might come barging into my room. We can't let them find you."

You could see the worry in his eyes, and you understood the weight of the situation. Without hesitation, you followed Sunghoon's lead and looked around for a hiding spot.

"Where should I hide?" you asked, trying to remain calm.

Sunghoon scanned the room, his gaze landing on a large antique wardrobe tucked away in a corner.

"Quick, get inside there," he said, opening the wardrobe door and motioning for you to step inside. It was large enough to fit you and pretty hidden away from any of his siblings.

You hurriedly made your way into the wardrobe, squeezing yourself in and pulling the doors shut. It was a tight space, but you hoped it would provide enough cover.

As the brothers deliberated downstairs, their uncertainty apparent, Sunoo voiced his reservations about invading Sunghoon's privacy. Nervously fidgeting with his fingers, he expressed his concerns.

"I don't know about this. I just don't want to intrude on his personal space," Sunoo admitted, his voice filled with unease. "You know, maybe he's still trying to deal with the past.” He bit his lip, avoiding delving into the details of his troubling history.

Heeseung sighed, acknowledging the validity of Sunoo's thoughts. He too was unsure of what to do, caught between his curiosity and his desire to respect Sunghoon's boundaries. The situation left them all in a state of indecision, unsure of how to proceed.

"I'm still worried about his well-being," Jay voiced, with Jake nervously nodding in agreement. Jake's heart raced not only out of concern for Sunghoon but also out of fear of you and him getting caught in the midst of their investigation.

"Okay, let's go." Jungwon decisively took the lead, leading the way up the stairs. The rest of the brothers followed suit, their curiosity piqued as they contemplated what Sunghoon could potentially be hiding.

As they reached the top of the stairs, the brothers could sense the tension in the air. They approached Sunghoon's closed door, hesitating for a moment before Jungwon took a deep breath and knocked.

"Sunghoon, are you in there?" Jungwon called out, his voice filled with concern.

There was a brief moment of silence, and then Sunghoon's voice came from the other side, slightly shaky but composed. "Yes, I'm here. Give me a moment."

The brothers exchanged glances, their anticipation building. They knew something was off, and their worry for Sunghoon only grew stronger. As they waited for him to open the door, they couldn't help but wonder what they were about to uncover.

Sunghoon swung the door open, his mouth full of food, as he greeted his six brothers. "Whoa, what's the occasion for this surprise gathering?" he asked nonchalantly, trying to mask his unease.

The rest of the brothers exchanged puzzled glances, failing to detect any apparent change in Sunghoon's behavior. "Do you need something from me before I continue finishing my meal?" Sunghoon inquired, hoping they would take the hint and leave him be.

Niki stepped forward, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Do you mind if we come in?" he asked, voicing the question that had been on everyone's mind.

Sunghoon shrugged, reluctantly allowing them entry. "Sure, but just for a little while. I'd like to eat my meal in peace."

Sunghoon reluctantly stepped aside, allowing his brothers to enter his room. As they filed in, their eyes scanned the surroundings, trying to piece together the puzzle of Sunghoon's recent behavior. The room appeared relatively normal, with the plate of food he cooked on his table and an organized bed.

"What's been going on, Sunghoon?" Heeseung finally spoke up, his voice laced with concern.

“What do you mean? I’ve only tried new things; it’s been interesting, I’ll tell you that.” Sunghoon shrugged, pushing away Heeseung’s question.

"Would it be alright if we entered the library?" Jay proposed, and the six brothers turned their gaze towards Sunghoon.

Sunghoon forced a smile, concealing his anxiety behind a facade. "Of course, go ahead," he replied, his words betraying his true feelings. Deep down, he was terrified of being discovered, even though he had already hidden you away.

Jay reached for the doorknob, his hand trembling slightly as he cautiously opened the door. The brothers held their breath, unsure of what awaited them inside. Their curiosity had overridden any doubts or concerns.

As the door swung open, the brothers stepped into the library, their eyes scanning the room for any signs of unusual activity. Sunghoon tried his best to act nonchalant, with his heart pounding in his chest. He hoped that you had a good hiding spot and that his siblings wouldn't stumble upon any evidence of your presence.

The library appeared just as it always did: shelves filled with books, a cozy atmosphere enveloping the space. The brothers exchanged glances, perplexed by the situation. Everything seemed normal, except for Sunghoon's apprehensive demeanor.

"Smells...rather sweet," Jungwon says, surprised at how quickly he picked up on it. The others nodded in agreement, detecting the faint yet enticing scent in the air.

“Could it be from the cups?” Sunghoon points at them, thankfully coming up with a quick excuse.

Jungwon's face lit up with understanding, and he couldn't help but let out a small sigh of relief, followed by a chuckle. “Ah, you've got yourself some good blood there.”

The others continued to look around, not seeming to find anything suspicious.

"Are you sure there's nothing unusual going on here, Sunghoon?" Jake asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice. He had to look convincing to his brothers, at least.

Sunghoon shrugged, feigning innocence. "I'm just enjoying some alone time with my books," he replied, hoping his casual tone would deflect their attention.

The brothers continued to search the library, their footsteps echoing softly on the wooden floor. Sunghoon's anxiety grew with each passing moment, praying that his secret would remain hidden.

“Well, there’s nothing,” Jungwon says, finishing his search.

“Sunghoon, just know we care about you, and you can tell us anything, okay?” Heeseung says, making Sunghoon nod to his words.

“We will be leaving now; don’t spend too much time in your room,” Niki says, walking closer to the library’s exit. Finally, satisfied that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, all of the remaining brothers made their way back towards the library entrance. Sunghoon released a silent sigh of relief, grateful that they hadn't discovered your presence.

Sunghoon had nothing else to say but nod his head, wishing his brothers a short goodbye. As the door closed behind them, Sunghoon leaned against it, his body trembling with a mix of fear and relief. He knew he had narrowly escaped being caught, but he also realized that he would have to be even more careful moving forward.

Turning his attention to you, he approached your hiding spot with a mixture of concern and gratitude. "You can come out now," he whispered, a grateful smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "We managed to keep them away, at least for now."

How long will this thing last before the secret is out?

NINE — unbreakable cycle

Sunghoon's recent behavior has left you puzzled. Lately, he has been requesting your blood more frequently, surpassing his usual once or twice a week routine. Not only that, you started feeling a bit tired too, having both Sunghoon and Jake take your blood whenever they wanted.

"Y/N, I need more," Sunghoon said, entering the library with a breathlessness that hinted at an intense workout session. His exhaustion was evident, as if he had been pushing himself too hard in his training.

Concerned by Sunghoon's increased requests for your blood and his apparent exhaustion, you couldn't help but worry about his well-being. You set aside the book you were reading and approached him with a furrowed brow.

"Sunghoon, are you okay? You seem really tired," you remarked, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Is something bothering you?"

Sunghoon sighed heavily, leaning against the library wall for support. His gaze met yours, reflecting a mix of weariness and determination.

"I've been pushing myself harder lately," he admitted, his voice tinged with fatigue. "I've been training more intensely, trying to improve my abilities. But it's taking a toll on me. I’ll be fine with a little bit of blood, though."

"Sunghoon, maybe you should take a break," you suggested gently. "Rest and recuperate. Pushing yourself too hard might do more harm than good."

"Thank you, Y/N." He let out a small, quiet chuckle, feeling a bit strange for you to be caring for him right now. "I'm assuming you're tired too? You look like it; it seems like you've been draining all your energy for more than one person."

"How did you know?" you asked, taken aback by his observation.

"What? I was just teasing," Sunghoon replied, his chuckle fading as he sensed your surprise.

Shit. You inwardly cursed your slip-up, realizing you had revealed more than intended.

"Who have you been seeing?" Sunghoon's tone turned stern, his eyes searching yours for answers.

You awkwardly laughed, trying to brush off his suspicions. "I was just joking, Sunghoon. There's no one else."

But Sunghoon wasn't convinced. He could sense the subtle changes in your heartbeat and the uneasiness in your eyes. The trust between you seemed to falter, and he couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that something was amiss.

"Your heart is beating faster," he pointed out, his voice tinged with a hint of betrayal. "Who have you been seeing behind my back? Why can't you be honest with me?"

"Why does it have to concern you?" you replied defensively, feeling a surge of frustration. The tension in the room escalated as both of you struggled to communicate your true feelings.

"It's my room," Sunghoon retorted, his voice growing louder with anger. "You've been hiding something from me, and now you're avoiding giving me your blood. Is this all because of one of my brothers?"

The words hung in the air, a bitter realization dawning on both of you. Sunghoon's protective instincts clashed with the sense of betrayal he felt, while you grappled with the weight of your secrets.

Sunghoon's grip tightened on your wrist, causing a sharp sting and making you instinctively try to pull away. As you did, the pressure on the bite mark caused a slight seepage of blood, staining your sleeve. He stared at the blood with a mix of shock and confusion.

"Did—did one of my brothers do that?" Sunghoon asked, his voice filled with disbelief as he looked back at you. A whirlwind of emotions swept across his face.

"It's nothing. Just mind your own business," you scowled, your frustration evident as you continued to struggle against his grip, wanting to break free.

Sunghoon's eyes narrowed, his anger rising. "How can you expect me to ignore this?” Sunghoon clenched his fists, his anger boiling over. He clearly allowed it to take the best of him, not knowing there could be other ways to talk about this. "I can't believe you would lie to me like this! How could you hide something so important?"

You stood your ground, your own anger rising to match his. Why would you want to allow him to be the only one who could yell? “You don’t have to know everything. You probably see me as a burden anyway.”

"Burden? You think I see you as a burden?" Sunghoon's voice was filled with frustration. "I've done everything I can to protect you and keep you safe. And this is how you repay me?"

"I didn't ask for your protection! Look, I’m glad for your help, but what’s with the big fuss?" You shot back, your voice trembling with anger and hurt. "You think you're the only one who has sacrifices to make?"

Sunghoon's face was twisted with anger and hurt. “Since you think my brothers are so great, why don’t you just leave right now? Let them have you! Then you would know what it feels like to be abandoned!"

"You don't owe me, Sunghoon. God, just because you're some vampire, do you think you're superior? I wonder how your family even manages to deal with you," You say, returning the same harsh tone he gave you.

The words stung, hitting him like a punch to the gut. You hadn't meant to belittle him, but in the heat of the argument, it felt like the only way to defend yourself.

Sunghoon's expression hardened, his anger giving way to a deep sadness. Your words only brought back his past, making him wince. He turned away from you, his voice filled with a mix of frustration and hurt. "Is that really what you think of me? Just some stuck-up vampire who thinks he's superior?"

Tears welled up in his eyes, and his voice choked with emotion. "I've done everything to make you feel welcomed and loved; well, I tried, and this is how you see me? I never wanted you to feel like that."

The realization hit you like a wave, crashing down your walls of anger. You hadn't meant to reduce him to a stereotype and make him feel unappreciated for all he had done for you.

"I– I didn't mean it like that," you mumbled, your voice filled with regret. "I was just angry and hurt. I didn't think about how my words would affect you."

Sunghoon shook his head, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his emotions. "It's too late now. I can't forget what you said or how you made me feel."

As he walked away, shutting the door with a resounding thud, the silence in the room was suffocating, the realization of the damage you had caused sinking in.

What the hell was that about, and why do you feel guilty?

Great, there's more stuff that you need to take care of.

Guilt was starting to eat you alive, and you had to do something about it quickly.

And how will you do that? It’s simple—asking his sibling for help.

Jake.

TEN — the plan

To your luck, Jake managed to sneak into the library, closing the door quietly behind him. His eyes widened as he looked at you, sensing the tension in the air. He walked closer, whispering to you.

"What's going on with Sunghoon?"

You sighed, the weight of the argument still lingering in your mind. "We had a big fight. Things got really heated between us."

Jake furrowed his brows, concern etched on his face. "What happened?”

"We had an argument about you," you said, wincing as the incident kept replaying in your head. You didn’t want to tell him everything; guilt was just starting to take over you again.

"Me? What about me?" Jake asked, his expression turning serious as he took a seat next to you.

"He found out," you replied, pulling down your sleeves to reveal the fang marks on your arm. "He found our secret meetings."

Jake's eyes widened in realization, and his voice filled with concern. "He knows about us? So was that why he glared at me all day?” Jake says, finally piecing the puzzle together.

“How did he react?"

"He was furious," you confessed, your voice filled with regret. "He accused me of betraying his trust and hiding things from him."

Jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I never wanted things to get so complicated. I'm sorry, Y/N."

"It's not your fault," you reassured him, placing a comforting hand on his. "We both made mistakes. I should have been more honest with him from the beginning."

Jake nodded, his gaze filled with a mix of guilt and determination. "We need to find a way to fix this, to make things right with Sunghoon.

"But how? He probably hates me now," you said, frustration evident in your voice as you rubbed your head with your hand.

"He doesn't hate you. He probably never will. You just have to be the first one to reach out and talk to him," Jake reassured you, his hand comforting you as he rubbed your back. "Trust me, he's seemed really happy ever since you got here."

"Really?" you asked, a glimmer of hope in your eyes.

"Really," Jake confirmed with a nod.

"Okay, so how am I going to apologize?" You asked, eager to find a way to make things right.

"I have a plan," Jake said, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

Curiosity sparked within you as you leaned in, urging him to share his idea.

Jake leaned in closer, his voice lowering to a whisper as he shared his plan with you. His eyes gleamed with a mix of excitement and mischief, making you curious about the details of his scheme.

"Here's what we're going to do," Jake began, his voice filled with confidence. "We'll organize a surprise gathering for Sunghoon, something that will catch him off guard when he sees you walk to him instead. I’ll tell him how I need to talk to him.”

You listened intently, nodding as Jake outlined the steps of the plan. It involved a lot of convincing. Sunghoon knew one of his brothers knew you; he just didn’t know which one. Despite his possible anger toward one of them, he’s going to have to speak to them, not wanting to expose the secret of you being here.

"And when the time is right, you can seize the moment and apologize to him sincerely, letting him know how much he means to you." Jake explained.

A mix of anticipation and nervousness filled your chest, but you felt a glimmer of hope. It seemed like a thoughtful and heartfelt gesture that could mend the rift between you and Sunghoon.

"Are you in?" Jake asked with a hint of excitement in his eyes.

With a shared sense of determination, you and Jake began to put the plan into action, eagerly looking forward to the opportunity to make amends and rebuild the trust that had been fractured.

You had to make things right again.

ELEVEN — making up

“Are you ready to talk to him?” Jake asked, sensing your nervous behavior.

"I believe so," you replied with a sigh. "I've allowed him enough time to process."

"Okay, I'll inform him before he comes upstairs," Jake said. You nodded nervously, fidgeting in your seat as you awaited the opportune moment to reveal yourself.

Before you knew it, you heard footsteps ascending the stairs, approaching Sunghoon's room. Holding your breath, you waited for the perfect moment to exit the room.

You opened the door, revealing a fatigued Sunghoon perched on his bed, awaiting Jake's arrival.

"Sunghoon?" You called out his name, causing his eyes to widen. He averted your gaze, not quite ready to meet your eyes. A part of him yearned for a conversation with you, while another part hesitated, unsure of the outcome.

Taking control of the situation, Sunghoon cleared his throat and spoke, his tone detached: "YN, you should return. Jake could return at any moment."

You were hesitant about carrying out the plan; it would reveal who you’ve been seeing for the past few weeks.

But you gathered your courage and walked further toward him, taking a seat beside him on his bed.

Sunghoon's gaze shifted from the floor to you, his eyes searching for answers. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the conversation that was about to unfold.

"I'm sorry, Sunghoon," you spoke up, your voice filled with sincerity. "I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I never wanted to hide anything from you, but I was scared. Scared of causing any conflicts between you and your family. I thought hiding it was the best thing I could do.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that or said anything harsh to you. You didn’t deserve it,” you continued, looking back to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Sunghoon's features softened, and he moved closer, his eyes locking with yours. "Y/N, I didn't handle the situation well either," he admitted, his voice filled with remorse. "I let my anger get the best of me, and I'm sorry for hurting you."

"I just... didn't want to talk to you after you made me think about my past,” Sunghoon sighed, feeling the weight of his experiences. He found himself unexpectedly opening up to you, trusting you with a part of his life he had never shared with anyone before.

Closing his eyes, he allowed the memories to resurface, replaying the painful moments from his past.

"I'm exhausted from constantly taking care of you. Why can't you be normal and not some damned vampire?" Sunghoon's father's voice reverberated in his mind, filled with anger and frustration.

"I'm sorry, Father. I just haven't had anything to fill me up. Not even regular food. I feel myself growing weaker day by day," Sunghoon confessed, his voice tinged with sadness as he recalled the desperate need for blood.

"You're fortunate that your mother and I provide for you. Who else would? But god, I can’t handle having such a freak in the house,” his father continued, reaching for his phone and dialing his mother's number. "I have to do something about you."

"What do you mean?" Sunghoon's fear intensified, unsure of what his father intended. "Father? Father!" he pleaded, trying to push him away, but his father remained fixated on the call to his mother. Sunghoon sat there in resignation, realizing that his true family was willing to abandon him or, worse, even consider harming him.

After hours of intense discussion between his parents, Sunghoon's heart sank as his mother called him over. He hoped against hope that he would be able to stay, praying for a positive outcome. Taking a seat in front of his parents, he braced himself for the verdict, hoping it would be in his favor.

"Sunghoon... I'm sorry, but you can't stay here anymore." His mother's voice trembled with sadness, and her eyes filled with tears. "It's just not possible. It’s not safe.”

“You can’t just throw me out like that!” Sunghoon's voice wavered with a mix of sadness and frustration, unable to comprehend how his own parents could abandon him. "I'm your child!"

"You're not our child—well, my child. You're just some wretched vampire who has no place in this household. Who knows what harm you could bring to your other siblings?" His father's words were laced with bitterness, his tone devoid of any remorse as he witnessed his son's disbelief and hurt.

He sat there, his mind filled with shock and a deep sense of loss, as he watched his mother pack up his belongings. After leaving his family home, Sunghoon's life took a drastic turn. He found himself in a state of constant turmoil, resorting to feeding off random animals he came across in a forest. If it hadn't been for Heeseung's intervention, he might still be wandering the streets, struggling to survive.

"But unlike my past parents, my siblings here embraced me wholeheartedly. They provided me with a sense of safety and acceptance that I had never experienced before," Sunghoon explained, his voice tinged with vulnerability and the hope that you would understand his deep-seated trauma.

"Oh my god, Sunghoon, I'm so sorry," you exclaimed, overcome with regret as the weight of your words and their impact on him sank in. "I had no idea about your past and what you went through."

Sunghoon's smile softened, touched by your genuine remorse. "It's alright. I never expected you to know or bring it up. We can leave it in the past now," he said, a sense of relief evident in his voice.

He reached out for your hand, his hands trembling slightly. “I forgive you. Do you forgive me?” You smiled, reaching out and taking his hands into yours. “I do.”

The weight of the tension that had been lingering between you lifted, replaced by a sense of relief and renewed hope. You and Sunghoon slowly embraced, holding each other tightly, letting the healing process begin.

Jake smiled, quietly slipping out of the room, leaving the two of you to mend the bonds that had been strained. As you and Sunghoon held each other, you knew that despite the challenges you had faced, your love for each other was stronger than ever, ready to face whatever lay ahead.

Next time, there will be no more misunderstandings.

You were going to make sure of that.

TWELVE — secret revealed

"You know, your brothers are eventually going to figure out that you keep me here, right?" you remarked, laying on Sunghoon's lap. Despite the mixed signals between you, there was a sense of comfort in your connection, and you both secretly wished for more.

Sunghoon chuckled, his fingers tracing gentle patterns through your hair as he continued reading his book. "You think so?”

“It has been quite a while. You think they would be okay with the sudden news?" You asked.

"They better," he replied with a playful smirk.

"I hope they'll be comfortable with it." you said, still filled with worries.

"They should be. One of my brothers already knows you, so that's one less person to convince," Sunghoon said, his tone lightening the mood.

"Ah, Jake," you nodded, feeling a sense of relief. "And just to clarify, we are not offering blood to my brothers to win them over. Just putting it out there," he added, making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Blood is only yours.”

“That’s quite flattering coming from a human like you.”

"Oh, stop it—tell your brothers about us whenever you feel like it’s time.”

“Like right now?”

“Well, do you want to?”

“I’ll ask them to come upstairs.”

"Sure, go ahead," you replied, lifting your head from Sunghoon's lap and adjusting your position. You watched as he stood up and made his way towards the door, calling out to his brothers to join him upstairs.

As you waited for them to arrive, a mix of anticipation and nervousness filled the room. You couldn't help but wonder how they would react to your relationship with Sunghoon. Would they be accepting? Would they hate your guts? Only time will tell.

Soon, you heard footsteps approaching the room, and one by one, Sunghoon's brothers entered. They glanced at you in shock, stopping in their tracks besides Jake.

Jay furrowed his brows, puzzled by the presence of a human in Sunghoon's room. The sweet scent emanating from you intrigued him, adding to his curiosity. "Who is this?" he asked, his confusion evident.

"This is YN," Sunghoon replied, observing Jay's expression as he connected the dots. "She's the person you saw me carrying on my shoulder."

Recognition dawned on Jay's face. "Ah, so you're her!"

"Well, that's certainly surprising. A human living here with us." Sunoo chimed in, happy that his suspicions were correct after all.

Niki's eyes widened in astonishment. "Wait, she's been here for months? How is she not freaked out by all of us being vampires?"

"Right...you're human. Aren't you scared or uncomfortable being around vampires?" Heeseung asked, with a hint of confusion and amusement in his tone.

You remained calm, unaffected by their supernatural nature. "To be honest, it was a bit overwhelming at first. But, after a while, Sunghoon seemed chill, making me think you all would be the same.”

The room fell into a momentary silence as everyone but Sunghoon and Jake processed the unexpected situation. It was clear that your presence had caught them off guard.

Jungwon couldn't help but offer a lighthearted remark. "So that sweet scent was yours. Well, well, who would've thought a human would willingly enter our world?"

You chuckled, feeling at ease in their presence. "I guess I'm an exception."

Jake, who had been aware of your connection with Sunghoon, smiled warmly. "We're glad to have you here, YN. It's refreshing to see someone who embraces us for who we are."

Sunghoon placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I couldn't have asked for a better family, and I'm grateful that you all accept YN."

Niki shook his head in disbelief, still processing the revelation. "I can't believe I only found out about this now. Sunghoon, you really kept this secret well."

Jake, unable to resist adding some mischief, chimed in with a cheeky smile. "Well, I already knew about it."

His statement caused a range of reactions among the others. Some looked at Jake with astonishment, while others couldn't help but let out a shocked gasp.

"You knew too?!" Sunoo exclaimed, his eyes wide with surprise.

Jake simply shrugged, enjoying the reaction he was getting. "Yeah, I've known for a while. I guess Sunghoon didn’t find out that I knew about YN until a week ago."

Jay shook his head, finding the situation amusing. "I can't believe you two managed to keep this from us. Secrets, secrets everywhere."

Sunghoon placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "I couldn't have asked for a better family, and I'm grateful that you all accept YN."

As the initial shock subsided, the room filled with a mix of laughter and teasing remarks. It seemed that despite the surprise, they were all eager to accept the new dynamic and embrace you as part of their vampire family.

“Since our Sunghoon has taken an interest in you, we accept you here.” Heeseung smiled, noticing how Sunghoon would look at you with such loving eyes. It was amusing but weird to see his brother act in such a way, but it made him feel pleased.

Feeling a sense of warmth and acceptance, you realized that you had truly found a home with these vampires, a place where you wished to stay forever.

THIRTEEN — transforming

"Sunghoon, have you ever thought about turning YN into a vampire?" Heeseung's curiosity was piqued as he prepared a meal downstairs while you were sleeping. He couldn't help but wonder about the possibility of Sunghoon turning you into a vampire.

Sunghoon's response was immediate, with a hint of surprise in his voice. "No, why would I?"

Heeseung's expression turned serious as he voiced his concern. "But she's human. Are you prepared to watch someone you love age and eventually pass away?"

Sunghoon's features shifted, his realization dawning upon him. The idea that you couldn't remain with him forever settled heavily in his mind. "Oh, I hadn't truly considered that. But what are the chances of a successful transformation? And if I were to proceed, how would I even do it?"

Heeseung paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "The chances of a successful transformation can vary. It depends on factors such as blood compatibility and the individual's willingness to undergo the process. Turning someone into a vampire is a complex undertaking that should be approached with great care."

Sunghoon absorbed Heeseung's words, his mind racing with possibilities. "If there's a way to turn YN into a vampire, and if it's something she genuinely desires, I would be willing to explore that option. However, it's a decision that we would need to make together, considering all the risks and consequences involved."

Heeseung offered an encouraging smile, understanding the weight of Sunghoon's contemplation. "I have faith that you'll find a way, Sunghoon. Just remember to have open and honest communication with YN and support each other in whichever path you choose."

Sunghoon nodded gratefully, appreciating his brother's guidance. He knew he could rely on his brothers for wisdom and support as he navigated the complexities of your relationship.

“I’ll talk to her about it when she wakes up,” Sunghoon says, bringing the plate of food to his room.

Gently whispering your name, Sunghoon noticed you were still peacefully asleep. A smile graced his lips as he approached the table, carefully setting the prepared food down before settling himself beside you.

As he brushed away a few strands of hair from your face, he couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty. A stirring feeling fluttered in his stomach—an undeniable effect you had on him that he couldn't ignore.

His fingers continued to play with your hair as your eyes slowly opened, revealing a pair of curious and sleepy eyes that met his. A smile formed on your face as you took in the sight of him smiling back at you.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked, his gaze never leaving you. You nod, snuggling in closer to the blanket, letting a small chuckle escape from his mouth.

“I need to tell you something, but eat and freshen up first, okay?” Curiousity took over, making you nod as you got out of bed.

As you finished your meal, you couldn't help but notice Sunghoon's slightly nervous demeanor. The anticipation grew within you, and you decided to break the silence.

"What do you want to say to me?" you asked, wiping your mouth with a napkin. Your eyes were fixated on him, searching for answers in his expression.

"Have you ever wanted to turn into a vampire?" Sunghoon finally brought up the question, hoping to gauge your thoughts on the matter.

You pondered his question for a moment, reflecting on your past perceptions and current feelings. "It seemed cool and everything when I was younger, like in the movies. But now, I'm not so sure about it," you admitted, voicing your uncertainties. "Why do you ask?"

Sunghoon took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before responding. "I've been thinking about it lately—about the possibility of turning you into a vampire," he confessed, his eyes searching yours for a reaction.

You blinked in surprise, caught off guard by his thoughts. The idea had never crossed your mind before, and now it hung in the air between you, laden with implications and questions.

"Why would you consider that?" you asked, a mix of curiosity and apprehension in your voice.

Sunghoon's gaze softened, and he reached out to gently hold your hand. "Because I can't imagine a future without you, YN. Turning you into a vampire would mean we could be together forever. I don't want to watch you grow old and leave this world while I remain the same."

A whirlwind of emotions swirled within you as you processed his words. The thought of eternal life was both alluring and daunting. You thought about the sacrifices and challenges that would come with such a transformation, but also the promise of everlasting love and companionship.

"I need time to think about this, Sunghoon," you replied honestly, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "It's a big decision, and there's so much to consider."

He nodded understandingly, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. "Of course, YN. Take all the time you need. I just wanted to open up this conversation and let you know what's been on my mind."

Hours turned into days and weeks. After pondering about it for a while, you decided to talk about it with Sunghoon. "Sunghoon, I've made up my mind," you said, your voice steady. "I want to be with you, and if becoming a vampire means we can be together for eternity, then I'm willing to take that step."

A mixture of relief and joy washed over Sunghoon's face as he squeezed your hand. "Thank you, Y/N. I can't express how much this means to me," he whispered, his voice filled with gratitude.

"Okay, I don't want to scare you, but part of the transformation process would involve you drinking my blood regularly," Sunghoon explained, gesturing towards his sharp teeth. "It's how you'll develop your own fangs and embrace your vampire nature."

You couldn't help but feel a slight shiver of unease at the thought. Drinking blood was far from your comfort zone, as your experiences with blood were limited to minor accidents and dental procedures.

"It does sound a bit intimidating," you admitted, your voice tinged with apprehension. "I've never done anything like that before."

Sunghoon nodded understandingly, realizing the unfamiliarity of the concept to you. "I completely understand your concern. It's a significant step, but I assure you, I'll be there to guide you through it every step of the way."

He gently took your hand, his touch offering a sense of reassurance. "We'll start slowly, with small amounts. I'll make sure you're comfortable and safe throughout the process. You won't be alone in this."

His words, coupled with his caring demeanor, helped alleviate some of your worries. You began to consider the possibilities that lay ahead.

"I appreciate your support, Sunghoon," you replied, mustering up courage. "If this is what it takes to be with you and embark on this journey, I'm willing to give it a try."

Sunghoon's eyes lit up with gratitude and love. "Thank you, Y/N. Your trust means the world to me," he expressed, his voice filled with genuine warmth.

"Let's start, shall we?" Sunghoon smiled, gently taking your hands in his. You nodded, watching him get up and get a cup. "You can look away if you want."

Choosing to avert your gaze, you listened intently as the sound of blood pouring into the cup filled the air. It was a strange and surreal moment, knowing that soon you would be consuming that very substance. Your heart raced, but you trusted Sunghoon's guidance and the new love that you two were creating.

The clinking sound of the cup being placed on the table made you turn your head, catching a glimpse of Sunghoon as he healed his cut with his vampire abilities. It was a fascinating display, reminding you of the extraordinary world you were about to become a part of.

Your eyes shifted back to the cup, anxiety creeping in once more. Sensing your worries, Sunghoon reached out to reassure you. "Don't worry, Y/N. Just think of it as a cup of wine," he suggested, his voice soothing and comforting. "An expensive and rare kind that you can't get anywhere else."

His words brought a hint of lightheartedness to the situation, and a small smile formed on your lips. Sunghoon's ability to find humor even in unconventional circumstances was one of the things you admire about him.

Taking a deep breath, you mentally prepared yourself for what lay ahead. As you lifted the cup to your lips, the scent of blood filled your senses, mixing with a hint of excitement and fear. You closed your eyes and took a small sip, feeling the warm liquid glide down your throat.

The taste was distinct and unlike anything you had experienced before. It carried a primal energy tinged with a hint of sweetness. As you swallowed, a surge of energy coursed through your body, awakening these random senses.

As you placed the cup back on the table, your eyes met Sunghoon’s. He smiled and was glad you didn’t back out. This was only the start, and Sunghoon would gladly walk that path with you.

FOURTEEN — always forever

Sunghoon's voice trembled with concern as he pleaded, "Please, Y/N, you need to drink this as well." You lay in his bed, eyes tightly shut, consumed by fear and doubt.

"I'm really scared, Sunghoon. I don’t know what’s happening to me," you confess, your voice quivering. Cold beads of sweat trickle down your forehead as the symptoms of the transformation continue to unsettle you. The thought of relying on blood for sustenance forever sends a chill down your spine. "I don't want to spend eternity feeding on blood."

"I understand your fears, Y/N," Sunghoon spoke softly, his voice filled with compassion. He grabs a cloth, wiping off the sweat on your forehead. “This feeling is only temporary. After this, you’ll be back to normal again, just with new abilities and drinking blood.”

He watches you open your eyes, looking at the cup of blood on the nightstand. The blood started to increase more and more daily, making you feel worried.

"Once the transformation is complete, you'll gain better control over your vampire instincts and abilities," he explained, his voice gentle yet reassuring. “You can’t just die on me here, just because you don’t want some blood. We made a promise.”

“I don’t know…” Fear was starting to eat you alive, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to continue this. You felt like dying; these new abilities were starting to take over your body. You felt your teeth shifting and your body stirring with random feelings—you had no control over your body.

It took a while for you to realize the process wasn’t pretty. The thought of relying on blood for sustenance sent shivers down your spine, and the mere idea of an eternal existence dependent on it felt overwhelming.

Sunghoon noticed you felt like giving up. He prays that you wouldn’t; he couldn’t bear seeing you leave, especially after trying out his idea. He found himself falling for you; it was impossible to get out now.

He reached for your hand, pouring out his true emotions. "But please remember that I love you. I have never felt this way before, and I can't imagine my life without you. This transformation is a means for us to be together and embrace our future. It won't define our entire existence."

His words reached the deepest corners of your soul, stirring emotions that intertwined with your fears. The intensity of his love and the profound connection you shared offered a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness of uncertainty.

"But Sunghoon," you whispered, your voice trembling with vulnerability, "what if I can't handle it? What if I can't adapt? I don't want to lose myself or hurt anyone."

Sunghoon's hand gently cupped your face; his touch was warm and reassuring. "Y/N, I have complete faith in you," he declared, his voice filled with unwavering belief. "You're strong, and together we'll navigate this journey. I'll be by your side every step of the way, guiding and supporting you."

His eyes locked with yours, their depth revealing his sincerity. "You're not alone in this, Y/N. I’ll be yours always and forever.”

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you absorbed his words, feeling the weight of his love and commitment. Though your fears still lingered, his unwavering support brought you solace and reminded you of the extraordinary bond you shared.

With a trembling hand, you reached for the cup, your gaze never leaving Sunghoon's. As you took a sip, his tender smile filled you with a sense of courage. It was the strength of your love that would carry you through the uncertainties, assuring you that together you could overcome any obstacle.

In that moment, you knew that your love for each other would be the guiding light amidst the darkness. As you embarked on this transformative journey, you held onto the belief that love could conquer all and that with Sunghoon by your side, there was nothing you couldn't face.

From that point forward, you mustered the strength to confront your fear of blood. There were moments when the metallic taste in your mouth became overwhelming, and you longed for a different existence. However, with Sunghoon's unwavering support and guidance, you persevered.

As time passed, you noticed the unmistakable signs of your transformation. Your once ordinary teeth have now sharpened into the iconic fangs of a vampire, marking your departure from humanity. It was a strange and exhilarating feeling, knowing that you were no longer the same as before. Sunghoon observed your progress with pride, a smile dancing on his lips as he witnessed your remarkable adaptation.

Under Sunghoon's patient instruction, you embarked on training sessions together. He taught you how to harness your newfound invisibility and leverage your enhanced speed to capture your future prey with precision. Although you made occasional missteps and errors, Sunghoon remained a pillar of calm and support, always offering gentle guidance, unlike his interactions with his own brothers.

Together, you honed your skills, learning the delicate balance between strength and restraint. Sunghoon's understanding and empathy fostered an environment of trust and growth. With each passing day, you grew more confident in your abilities, emboldened by the unwavering belief Sunghoon had in you.

"You're doing great," Sunghoon reassured you, his words instilling a surge of confidence within you.

"You think so?" you asked, seeking affirmation.

"Yes, absolutely," Sunghoon replied with a warm smile. "You're adapting to this new life with remarkable ease. It's truly impressive, even more than I could have imagined."

His genuine praise filled you with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Hearing such words of encouragement from Sunghoon, who had experienced the vampire transformation himself, meant the world to you. It reaffirmed that you were not alone in this journey and that your progress was real and significant.

Sunghoon's unwavering support gave you the strength to push beyond your limits and embrace the challenges that came with your newfound abilities. With each step forward, you grew more confident in your capacity to navigate the vampire world alongside him.

"Thank you for being so patient with me, Sunghoon," you said, a genuine smile gracing your lips.

"Of course, YN," Sunghoon replied, his own smile mirroring yours. "I'll always be here for you, ready to offer my support and guidance whenever you need it."

His words resonate deeply within you, reaffirming the strength of your bond. Sunghoon's unwavering patience and dedication have been instrumental in your transformation journey. He had never faltered in his commitment to helping you navigate this new world and discover the extent of your potential as a vampire.

With Sunghoon by your side, you felt an unspoken sense of security and assurance. He had become more than just a mentor or guide; he was a pillar of strength, a source of comfort, and a confidant who understood you in ways no one else could.

As you gazed into his eyes, you knew that this journey was not just about becoming a vampire. It was about the profound connection and trust that had blossomed between you. And with each passing day, your gratitude for Sunghoon's unwavering presence in your life only grew stronger.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss

TAGLIST FOR BITE ME — @soov @lunacrtk @differentchildwombat @amortenha @kyungssem @skinnyzlegendz

[luvfy0dor]

Henlo

You know who it is, we all know, henlo

I feel like I’ve been here a lot recently

Just starting off with saying I loved the Dazai piece. It was really cute. Dad Dazai trying his best, made my heart melty

But I think you know why I’m here today

On this day

Honestly the day doesn’t entirely matter but I’m here on THIS one

With the dad Fyodor thought I promised

Cuz here I was thinking to myself. I feel like Fyodor definitely wants his child or children having some connection to Russian culture, since that’s a part of them too, regardless of their other parent’s nationality or background, he definitely wants his included. (Tho his partner could totally do the same)

So I was wondering, would you like a piece of him either teaching his children Russian or making Russian food for them? Or really sharing any Russian cultural thing with them at all. Honestly whatever one is easier for you to write or go into detail with, they’re all equally cute.

Cuz if his child or children develop a connection to that, I feel like that would make him a lot happier than maybe he would fully show.

I hope this ask sparks the creative brain juices in a fun way

Also considering sending a Halloween themed request at some point idk… oh but who knows!We’re here rn and having fun with this, that’s all we need at the moment

Also real glad you enjoy my messages lol. I will absolutely keep sending. Take as long as you need

-the person here attempting to give everyone baby fever because it’s funny

This blog’s Dad Fyodor anon

"da!" - Dad!Fyodor x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; Google translate Russian, not much reader involvement, very minimal proofreading happened

Description; Dad!Fyodor teaching his child about Russian culture! It incorporates ideas from the first dad!Fyodor part.

A/n; YESYESYES I one hundred percent agree, I think about this on the regular OMG I hope I depicted this well bc my knowledge on Russia isn't all that extensive lol, if you have any corrections, do tell me!! : ) Also I'm gonna be so fr I had NO idea what to name this so we're rolling with da I guess.............

Headcannons !! ༊*·˚

★ He teaches his child/children classical Russian music when they're old enough to play more difficult pieces. Until then, he'll settle for twinkle twinkle little star.

★ Introduces his children to ballet.

★ His children have a variety of Russian-originating toys, such as Matryoshka/Russian nesting dolls, rocking horses etc.

★ Brings his children to Russia at least once, specifically to Moscow (irl Dostoevsky was raised in Moscow, so we're gonna assume BSD Dostoevsky was too) to experience the culture first hand.

★ Teaches his children the foundations of the Russian language. He would like them to fluently speak it one day, though.

★ Cooks Russian food for them like I mentioned and included in the first part.

★ They learn about Russian history from their father, anywhere from Peter the Great to fur trade and all that jazz

Scenario !! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

(as always, p/t is parental title, d/n is daughters name)

Your head leaned against your fist while you watched your husband and daughter focus on their current activity. D/n carefully picked the colors and pigments she would use to color in the white spaces on her paper, and Fyodor just tried to keep things inside the lines. You could see the little girls tongue slightly sticking out from between her lips in concentration, making you smile.

Your daughter went to pick her next color, chosing a pink crayon to fill in the nose of the cat. "Papa, what'd you say your hat was called again? The one you always wear." She clarifies, even though there was really only one hat that Fyodor would wear at all. His eyes don't leave his thin paper as he replies, "A ushanka, and it's from Russia, malyshka." He answered, pushing some of his hair out of his face and behind his ear. "Russia." She says, the sound not unfamiliar, but not common to her either. "Where's that?" She tilts her head upwards, putting her crayon down to signify her attention on her papa. He puts his down too and rests his arms on top of one another.

"Quite far, but it is in both Asia and Europe. That's how big it is, it stretches over two continents." He says, a smile on his face. Her eyes widen a little. "That is really big. Have you been there before?" Her head tilts and she shifts a bit in her seat. "I grew up there, in the city of Moscow." He says, happy with her clear interest in his motherland.

"We should go there for a vacation one day!" She says, a grin on her face. He laughs a little bit and nods. "I agree, we definetly should." He agrees, fantasizing about it in his head. "Is that why you talk like that?" She questions her fathers accent, skittering around the table and climbing onto his lap. He smiles gently and nods. "Yes, it's called an accent, malyshka. I learned English, but Russian is my mother tongue. There are a lot of different pronunciations for certain sounds in Russian." He tells her, his hands fidgeting with the young girls hair. He parts it into three sections and starts to braid it.

"Is everything different there?" Fyodor hums, thinking as he weaves her hair into a gorgeous French braid. "Well, it definitely very different, but I don't think I would say everything." He says. "There are more historical differences than anything, if I do say so myself." She hums in understanding. "Papa, can you teach me some Russian?" She asks, turning her head to look at him with puppy dog eyes, even though she really didn't need them. He smiled and nodded.

"What should I teach you?" He softly questions, looking into the young girls eyes. She thinks for a moment, tapping her pointer finger on her chin. "I don't know! Whatever you want." She says, just excited to hear another language. He chuckles softly. "я не знаю, что тебе сказать" (I don't know what to tell you) he responds, a small grin on his face. Her eyes widen, almost as if she never believed he could speak a different language. You giggle a bit at her reaction.

"What does that mean?!" She excitedly asks, her mind seemingly blown over this. "It simply means I don't know what to tell you." He speaks. "But I can tell you the simple stuff. Like 'да' means yes and 'нет' means no. Hello is 'привет' and goodbye is 'до свидания'."

The young girl takes a mental note of these words. "привет, papa! I think I said that right." She says. You proudly watch the scene go down. Fyodor gives you a similarly prideful smile. "Yes, you did wonderful, malyshka." He praises her, patting her shoulder. "I'll have to teach you more one day." She nods vigorously, very obviously wanting him to. "Yes! And then we can have secret conversations, no one else will know what we're saying!" She snickers, making him smile.

A/n; I hope this is alright!! I loved this request a whole lot. Oh, also, feel free to send in that Halloween request even though it's November now lol

"Oh, ofcourse. That will probably be rather far in the future, though." He says, removing her from his lap and gently patting her back. "That's okay. If I learn more I'll know more words." She states the obvious. "And I'm gonna learn from the best russian ever." She beams, making Fyodor grin. "That's right, sweetheart."

[vampireistic]

AVENTURINE CHARACTER ANALYSIS

★ with some aventio analysis too !

CW: this is aventurine we’re speaking about so; mentions of suicide, gambling, massive spoilers

ps. i’m a massive dumbass that still to this day doesn’t fully understand the penacony lore so i’ll most definitely miss things out, my bad.

Watching everyone around you die out while you are forced into living because of a God blessing you with their rainy tears really presents the duality between a blessing and a curse. Really makes you wonder if luck even existed or does experiencing constant suffering and finding a string of hope make you blind to the true nature of your condition. Are you truly fortunate, or are you merely trapped in a cycle of endless grief masked by moments of fleeting hope?

CHARACTER DESIGN

Aventurine’a design is a reflection of who he is; wealthy, confident, flamboyant and so on and so forth. More importantly, though, his design is meant to reflect his desire to be seen as well as his use as just a mere pawn. His design and character are very reminiscent that of peacocks (a design choice rather common with characters who gamble) — peacocks are known and praised for their distinctive beauty as well as their worth.

This also means that they’re a massive target for collectors meant to serve as a person’s trophy; a similar way as to how Aventurine is quite literally a slave, his extravagance meant to pale his vulnerability. This Sigonian trophy has now become a pawn for the Stonehearts (IPC), his design is almost like a branding for him (even more so than the actual mark on his neck), it’s a reminder that he’s going to forever remain someone else’s property. The collar around his neck is meant to serve as a similar reminder.

His lavish design could be seen as a way to distract from his lack of freedom. The more extravagant he appears, the more people focus on his outer beauty rather than the fact that he is, essentially, a prisoner.

HIS TRAUMA / LORE

Aventurine’s relationship with his family has always intrigued me. He absolutely loved them to his core, and they loved him completely back in turn; sounds rather perfect, right? But I can’t help but feel like them drilling into his head that he was the gem of their home, that he would bring them to victory even as a sole survivor — he was their lucky charm. Sure, at the time it probably didn’t mean too much since he was a child and understood that these were words said in desperate times, but now as he’s older? Those words haunt him once again — I mean, it’s literally one of the many reasons he has survivors guilt.

It was actually a little difficult to categorise Aventurine into an attachment style (a template for how a child will most likely act like in the future) because his relationship with his family isn’t really shown all too specifically, or at least specifically enough to understand how he truly feels about them. All I can go off of is his devotion, therefore I can vaguely assume he would have an avoidant attachment style.

Given the way he was treated as someone “treasured” or “superior”, Aventurine has developed avoidant tendencies as a way to cope with the pressure and isolation of his status. He might distance himself emotionally from others, preferring to maintain a facade of independence and self-reliance rather than risk vulnerability.

"Maybe luck won't be on your side this time, and the bill for all your past good fortune will come due."

Finally, the person in front of him turns around. The distant skyscraper reflects a kaleidoscope of colors like an opal stone, while a music box plays on its own.

"But isn't that what you've been longing for?"

────────────────────────

This man is quite literally so suicidal. Pretty obvious, I think anyone could pick that up from the fact he outwardly admits in the Penacony quest that he “attempted multiple times” in the dream world, which of course led to nothing. He’s so desperate, weak, and afraid. He’ll try anything even if he knows the final outcome is more than likely futile.

As soon as he’s allowed a little bit of freedom, his first instinct is to off himself. Perhaps that’s also just a showcase that he cannot handle the idea of his own autonomy and that’s unfortunately quite common with victims of abuse; when given freedom, they don’t understand what to do with it. It’s like freeing an orphaned deer from an animal trade…whats it’s use now that it doesn’t have anyone controlling it?

Aventurine’s duality may be a form of dissociation, a psychological coping mechanism where he separates his true self from the persona he has been forced to adopt. The “peacock” persona becomes a mask that he wears, allowing him to navigate a world where he is constantly objectified and used.

However, despite his innate survivors guilt and this want for an escape, he refuses to actually die without trying to avenge his home.

────────────────────────

Immediately after gaining a sense of agency and somewhat power, he seeks for some form of closure. He’s obviously still very determined, in this way, he’s regaining that form of liberty by using his new role to his advantage despite it clearly weighing the IPC down (that alone is purposeful, he’s a pawn for them because it’s also convenient for him).

RELATIONSHIPS (slash aventio :3)

Now I utterly hate Jade — to me, she feels like a very lazily written antagonist/villainous character, and even if she had good aspects to her, it’s completely overshadowed by the fact she’s clearly marketed as just another “dom mommy” (believe me i cringed there too). One thing I’ll praise her for is the relationship she creates with the other Stoneheart’s members — it’s disgustingly manipulative and I love it.

To Jade, Aventurine and Topaz are two sides of the same coin, similar yet vastly different. Both of them are of course beneficial to the IPC, yet if a moment arose to be replaced, she wouldn’t hesitate to backstab Aventurine over Topaz, he’s a speck of dirt on their shoulders and too much of a burden.

More specifically; the only way Jade cares For Aventurine is the same way you’d care for a weapon, you wouldn’t want it to get damaged but there’s always the option to replace it if it does. Have you seen that post where it, to simplify, stated “love but in the way a wolf loves the sheep it herds”, that’s basically the entire dynamic between all the Stoneheart’s, however it’s evident Aventurine is a black lamb.

Outside of Aventurine’s acquaintances of convenience born purely from the notion of gaining something in return, Aventurine truly has one person who’s willing to stick to his dumbassery through thick and thin: Dr Ratio.

Firstly, these two clearly mimic the dynamic between Kaveh and Alhaitham and I find myself slowly just loving their trope even more heavily — a man who thrives off the intangible for the sake of success with a man who’s entire life focuses on logic, reason and book smarts. Throughout the entire segment where the pair are about to meet with Sunday and commit to the most dramatic ass lion king esque betrayal scene, Dr Ratio is cautious. He has to make this betrayal look real, so he maintains this facade of indifference with all the quips and comments Aventurine says.

He does everything for the sake of Aventurine. This man quite literally can’t look at Aventurine after he plays the part of a betrayer because he can’t imagine himself actually doing such a thing. Does he trust Aventurine? Yeah, sure, but he still leaves Aventurine with a heartfelt note that he specified he should read in his last moments:

“Do stay I alive. I wish you the best of luck.”

Dr Ratio is one of the first people to acknowledge Aventurine’s vulnerability and doesn’t exploit it, instead choosing to console him. In a way, it’s actually a little sweet that Dr Ratio thought of a scenario where Aventurine’s godly luck ran out, it shows he views him as a person who’s gained the knowledge he has, and not just a pawn who’s been polished into a gem.

cute dividers: strangergraphics

art: amosprinz

this is a little less analytical and more so rambly than i would’ve preferred, but i also just wanted to give people the opportunity to yap and talk about aventurine and the penacony lore in general. feel free to share whatever thoughts you have on this d(^_^o)

[bonezonejpg]

୨୧ : INTRODUCING MY INK VARIANT INX

Based off of my personal experiences. A year ago I was in a pretty bad headspace and had created him to help cope with my situation. Came upon him again and decided to make a ref+ revamp !! Anyways !! Some info about him <3 Inx deals with Chronic anxiety and Derealization. Despite the fact that knows the world around him is real, he struggles to fight with those irrational thoughts that its in fact not real. He feels like he's in a dream while existing which causes him to panic, and will get intrusive thoughts about him or others around him not being real. These intrusive thoughts can trigger panic attacks which happen to him frequently. Instead of using close range attacks, he specifically sticks with using long range attack as much as possible. Getting close to his targets causes him to panic, and most of the time he's not in a calm enough headspace to react on time and make strategic battle decisions. He tries his best to support Dream and Blue from the sidelines. He shrunk from stress.. LOL Dream is one of his comfort people. The two of them now live together and he spends most if not all of his time with Dream. When not around the other he can panic or go into spirals which take a very severe toll on his mental health. Because of this Dream makes sure to stay close to him and tries his best to accommodate him. He does have medication he uses sometimes, but he only uses it when having severe panic attacks. The viles are extremely hard to continuously manufacture so he has instead developed coping skills to deal with his issues best he can instead of taking his "medication" 24/7. The viles basically help him calm down and sort of reset his magic nervous system or whatever it would be so his panicking starts to cease. It doesn't last forever, but its a really good feeling when he takes it and it reminds him of how he used to be before dealing with all of this. These issues completely popped out of nowhere and the root cause is unknown by him and others around him. He had a thought that the world "wasn't real" and then got triggered into his first panic attack which then spread out into the issues he now has. [Literally exactly what happened to me except I'm okay now! Well sort of, not the same but def a LOT better :3] His eye will flash a bunch of different colors when he's about to have a panic attack or having one. This is a telltale sign that his stress has pretty much reached his limit and he's at his breaking point. He will leak and spill Ink from his mouth when trying to express the thoughts going on in his mind or his emotions. This is because his anxiety causes him to assume others will think he is annoying or attention seeking so he literally becomes choked up on his own words. Inx deals with constant paranoia that no one likes him and everyone finds him to be a burden. Despite others and himself trying to reassure himself, the sinking feeling that no one truly loves him also resides deep inside his bones. He doesn't get a lot of his sleep because of his derealization and anxiety. Constantly being in a state of panic makes it quite hard for him to rest because his body can't calm down enough to actually relax so he can fall asleep. He usually can only rest when with another person with some TV playing, or when he is so exhausted he literally cannot stay awake anymore.

Inx still enjoys to draw and visit AUs, it just has become quite difficult now because of the amount of stress he deals with. Obviously this has caused him to become pretty depressed so he has a really hard time picking up his hobbies, but he still attempts to use them as coping mechanisms even if he can't really make anything detailed anymore. Inx will constantly think about how he used to be before all of this and will wish that he could go back in time and just be normal again because he's so exhausted from everything.

Alrighty... For now thats all I can really think about!! I probably will look back at this and be like "awh dang why didn't I add this.." So expect me to most likely edit this little post at some point !! Also, all of these facts are 100% based off of experiences that I have went through. If you have any questions then feel free to send me an ask and I'll totally answer !! Plus some old art from when I first made him in 2023 when I was having that EP

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy reading all this despite it being super long... heh.. I'LL SEE U LATUR !!

[weveseenallthegreenery]

Mel Medarda seeks out Viktor after discovering her arcane talents — Filler Smut

I was originally contemplating having this part be an archive of our own exclusive considering it has a different tone from the rest of the story and doesn't contribute much of anything to the plot, but my friend convinced me that you FREAKS would probably like it since most of you don't read the fic in order anyway.

nsfw | filler content | 1438 words | light smut | shortfic | basically not edited | won't be linking the rest of the series on this post

A few days ended up turning into a few weeks, and I could tell that Jayce fell into the same trap that I did. I had come here for comfort and ended up liking the interaction so much that I couldn’t leave. Jayce had come here to do something uncomfortable and ended up not being able to do it because he knew that the people around him loved him. He hadn’t intended to stay long but ended up falling into routine with us, the same way that I had when it was only Viktor and me.

The three of us had even started to sleep in bed together. Before now, Viktor would occasionally cuddle me if one of us was in a bad mood. He initiated affection often when I was tired or uncomfortable, but other than that, he wasn’t much of a cuddler at all. However, ever since Jayce came, we had all been inseparable. Jayce usually slept in the middle—sometimes swapping with me—and held onto Viktor as I held onto him. It was nice. It was comfortable. It did, unfortunately, remind me of our old trysts, though.

This was one of those days that I had woken up before the others. It didn’t happen often as Viktor would usually rise early to finish a lot of the simpler chores and make sure that we had enough food for breakfast. However, I was grateful for when it did happen because I got to look at the two men next to me and just… think about the situation I was in. I had found out some of the most horrible, traumatizing information about myself after being kidnapped. I ran away to find the only person who could understand me. I told off my mother. And then my ex-lover had found his way to us and joined us in our little community.

Things had come about in a rather awful way, but I couldn’t say that I wasn’t content with the way things were going. I really liked being reconnected with Jayce. He and I ended on the wrong foot, but I never truly stopped caring about him—I cared about him a little too much, actually. And I wasn’t quite sure if his decision to stay was a testament to his still having affection for me or his liking for Viktor. I feared that it may have been the latter, but I didn’t mind.

I had also started to feel myself become drawn to Viktor. I had realized this before Jayce joined us at the commune, but the feelings definitely became more potent after watching the man I had grown to be affectionate with caress the man that I had bedded in the past. Although the interaction was never anything but wholesome, it made a pool of warmth fill my gut.

I’d been left wanting a lot lately, not having much time to myself. Although I was still in bed with the others, I figured that maybe it would be okay just this once, since they were asleep and all. I held my hand in front of my face, wondering if I should really go through with what I was thinking… My nails had gotten quite long since coming to the commune, and the color was starting to chip. I would have to ask Viktor to get my nails done when he woke up.

I slipped my hand under the blanket, trailing it down my stomach before reaching the hem of my shorts. I played with the fabric, still a bit nervous about my actions. I used my other hand to tug my shorts down a bit, making them feel less tight on my stomach before slipping my other hand under my shorts and into my panties. I couldn’t help but make a small noise of discomfort as I found my clit effortlessly, rubbing in a slow circle as I attempted to get myself off.

I knew that it would be difficult for me to cum without anything inside of me, but I didn’t have any toys at the commune and my nails were so sharp that I worried I might cut myself. This just had to do for now. It didn’t take very long for me to get wet, making it much easier for me to glide my fingers along the skin. It started to feel much more comfortable as I sped up, breath hitching as I tried not to move closer to either of the men—of course, this was the one time they had decided to let me sleep in the middle. I was two seconds away from release where I felt a thin arm wrap around my stomach under the cover and grab my arm. I halted my movement as Viktor hummed, “What’re you doing?”

I didn’t know what to say. I felt like I couldn’t breathe as the heat rose all the way from my core to my face. This was possibly the most embarrassing thing I’d ever experienced in my life as I attempted to roll over so that I was facing The Herald.

“Don’t you know it’s not polite to touch yourself next to someone’s sleeping body?” The man raised an eyebrow at me, but he didn’t actually look all that mad. In fact, he looked almost amused to have caught me. His voice was low and teasing as he hummed, “You weren’t even hiding it well. You were moving your hand so fast that your whole body was practically squirming.”

“Well, not all of us are able to go months without release,” I huffed, trying to get my hand out of my pants, but Viktor pushed it back.

He hummed and closed his eyes, “Don’t stop on my account. By all means, do whatever you need to do.”

“You are not asking me to masturbate in front of you,” I scoffed and rolled my eyes, tugging on my hand once more. He didn’t fight it this time, clearly not wanting to make me uncomfortable despite the playful banter.

“Unless you want my help…” He started.

That’s all it took for everything to snap into place. Less than five minutes after he uttered those words, he was on top of me, kissing my neck as I tried not to moan. He had completely taken off my shorts and panties, fingers moving inside of me with ungodly precision. I dug my fingers into his back, “Fuck… you’re gonna wake up Jayce. Slow down a little.”

“Hmm, maybe we should wake him up,” Viktor mumbled against my skin. “You didn’t seem to mind playing with yourself next to him, so what’s the difference if I help you out a little bit?”

My eyes rolled as his fingers sped up, pressure building up in all the right places, “Viktor—Stop, I’m gonna…”

I gasped, legs spasming as I came around his fingers. A string of moans left my lips as he rode me through my orgasm. I was trying to be quiet, but it was practically impossible at this point. I wasn’t surprised when Jayce’s eyes opened.

At first, he was just tired and confused about what all the noise was for. He rolled over and tried to wrap his arms around my stomach before he realized there was an extra body on mine. After a little bit of grumbling, his eyes widened. He was fully awake almost as soon as he realized what happened. He sat up quickly and asked, “What the fuck?”

“Good morning,” I hesitated. I felt so floaty and calm but knew the situation was bad. “Sorry.”

He frowned down at me before staring at Viktor with narrowed eyes, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“You’ve already slept with her,” Viktor shrugged. “Besides, she was being all needy… it was probably best to give it to her right away.”

Jayce huffed and laid his head on my shoulder, “You didn’t have to leave me out…”

“I can make it up to you later,” Viktor rolled off of me, laying his head on my other shoulder as he moved his slick hand to Jayce’s bicep. “You know you’re not mad at me. Not really.”

Jayce leaned over me to place a gentle kiss to Viktor’s mouth—which was the first time, to my knowledge, that they were physically involved. Viktor didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss almost immediately. A moan escaped Jayce’s mouth as Viktor reached his hand to the other side of the bed to grab Jayce’s ass, pulling him close to my side and forcing me to feel his morning wood press against my skin. This was going to be a long morning.