#[he's questioning so many things rn]
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Hello :D
You're so cool
Anyway have you thought that in your rat sons au Splinter might outlive the boys?
You're very cool :D love your stuff dude
(tw for some blood, light gore, implied overdose (kinda??))
hi copper!!! this is a fantastic question!
so obviously typical irl rats have far shorter lifespans than the average irl tortoise. according to google (yes, be awed by my spectacularly in-depth wealth of research) the average pet rat lives between 2-4 years ish, and the oldest on record lived to be about 7. meanwhile, an African spurred tortoise (Splinter's species) averages more around a 50ish year lifespan in captivity, tho is suspected to possibly exceed 75 or more in the wild.
Now, the mutation does give us a lot of wiggle room for playing with these numbers. For the rat sons boys, id say their natural lifespan probably clocks in at about 45-55 years old? definitely not old by human standards, but not young young either. (though, its also important to note that the boys were exposed to the mutagen just days after being born.)
For Splinter, meanwhile, aging is slightly more complicated. He lived the vast majority of his life as a regular normal African spurred tortoise (well, non-mutated at least. there were perhaps some shenanigans of a more mystical variety going on before he was mutated, but thats a separate matter) He was about 70ish i think? when the boys were born and they were all exposed to the mutagen. so he is already distinctly an old man turtle papa. id guess he'd probably still have another eh lets say 25-30 years after his mutation. he could probably push it a little farther even with some mystic nonsense, but when push comes to shove id say his 'natural' post-mutation lifespan would put his death like a solid decade or two before his sons.
of course, the tricky part of the matter is that theres no way for Splinter to know any of this. theres no way for him to know how the mutation affected them all, or if it even affected them all in the same way. especially since the boys dont show many physical signs of mutation for the first few years, and just kinda look like normal rats, (albeit with a more human sort of intelligence) — what sort of health standard do you hold them to? what if they simply dont show external signs of sickness or old age anymore? how do you actually know if something is wrong?
for a while there Splinter is very worried that one of his babies will just essentially reach the end of their normal rat lifespan, fall and not get up again.
so mostly, he just tries to live in the moment, enjoying whatever time he does have with his little ones, taking each day as a gift <3
still,
that fear
never
really
goes
away.....
#cue the 2003 tmnt dramatic Shredder sound effect TM#my art#rat sons#tmnt au#ask reply#TOOK ME A FULL MONTH TO ANSWER AND IM STILL NOT SUPER PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS BUT#also apologies if shits incohierent im v sick rn#but thank you so much for the question copper!!#a parents grief and terror at the thought of outliving their children#always gets me#and boy howdy these rat babies do Not make that shit easy for ol Splinter#all of them have brushed too close to death too many times#tbh thats probably why he started teaching them ninjutsu etc#like yeah yeah discpline and routine and practice all excellent lessons#but also#yall squishy babies and ur father is Stressed please learn to fight good so its one less thing he has to worry about#sorry splints theyre hamatos now theyre destined for danger#cw blood#cw gore
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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Do wanna say, I am actually really curious how Iva-chan would feel if the Dragodile Divorce went REAL BAD
'Cause they didn't know the two were in a relationship at all, right. (Otherwise, like, if Iva-chan knows about Crocodile having a kid then surely they'd realize that would've also been Dragon's kid and like. Understands that's Luffy etc) So as far as Iva-chan understands the situation, Crocodile may have been secretly slightly involved with the Revolutionaries for a period of time, had a kid out of the blue, transitioned, and either immidiately broke ties with the Revs entirely and fucked off to Alabasta, or kept on assisting the Revs in secret (possibly monetarily, being a sugar daddy and all 💰🐊💰) for however long in secret, only to pretty much betray them out of nowhere by attempting to take over Alabasta 17 years later Either way, surely Ivankov would've been deeply confused by this turn of events, right? Like what happened to him, why would Crocodile do any of this?
But if the straw that broke the camel's back and shattered Crocodile's psyche was the Dragodile Divorce going really bad, either from Dragon not being that accepting OR due to things going violent over a miscommunication... How would Ivankov feel about that?
Keep in mind, we've only ever heard Iva-chan talk about Dragon with nothing but adoration and respect. They sincerely hold Dragon in such high regard, can you imagine how badly either revelation could change how Iva-chan's views Dragon? 'Cause like, sure if Dragon's straight then that's one thing, but lashing out at his loved one? When he came out? At what might've been the most emotionally vunerable time of Crocodile's life (between the transing and the baby and having to leave his son forever. Y'know. Heavy shit)? Yeah, frankly speaking, Iva-chan would be completely justified in slapping the shit out of Dragon and giving him some choise words. Perhaps even some 💉 Karmic Punishment 💉 to teach a lesson Feeling disappointed in Dragon would be an understatement. But even if The Divorce happened due to a tragic accident (of Dragon attacking the strange man he has never seen before out of instinct when going to see his wife and child), it's been nearly two whole decades. Have the two even spoken since then? Like presumably not considdering Crocodile didn't even know who Luffy was. So if they haven't spoken at all-- did Dragon ever apologize? Or was he that much of a coward he couldn't face Croc and take responsibility for what he did? If so, that is absolutely pathetic and frankly irresponsible considdering the feelings he would've left Crocodile festering with.
Like either way, I'm deeply facinated how Iva-chan would take the news. How that could impact their relationship with Dragon, as well as how they've viewed Crocoboy for the past few years as well.
Because suddenly Crocoboy didn't just go bonkers out of nowhere, abandon and betray the Revolutionaries to try to do something monstrous for selfish gain. Suddenly, it was Dragon who abandoned Crocodile and left him all alone for nearly two decades, believing obtaining an Ancient Weapon was the only way to take down the World Government. Countless innocent lives that perhaps could've been spared in Alabasta had Dragon just fucking talked to his ex--
Yeah. I'm curious how Iva-chan would feel
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sorry my brain is soup I can't form a coherent thought rn#Something about the mental image of Iva-chan getting fucking furious at Dragon on Crocodile's behalf#Just#I'm not crying shut up#Like if there is a scenario where Dragon genuinely needs to apologize to Crocodile for however the hell he fucked up#I think Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and telling Dragon that he fucked up and needs to take responsibility would be like. Important#'Cause I think Iva-chan might be the only person in the world who could get Dragon to apologize (considdering how long they've been friends#Especially because Iva-chan might be the person who genuinely understands Crocodile's feelings the best#(Depending on how his egg got cracked and whether or not Iva-chan needed to help with that etc etc)#All of this to say; the Dragodile Divorce really would be more interesting if it went Real Bad. It would impact so many more characters#Another familiar question: What would Kuma have thought of it? How about Sabo and Koala?#But yes Iva-chan's reaction is the one I'd be the most interested in. Especially considdering like. IDK I kind of thought they'd have...#...a bigger role in Kuma's backstory but they actually kind of didn't. Like their friendship was not that important in the end#And a part of me deeply feels like Iva-chan should have a bigger role somehow in the story. Like they should impact things more#And yes if Crocodad Real then that alone would add to Iva-chan's role a whole bunch. But that would be like in past tense.#How about how things are going to go down from here on out? Yeah
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Celann as the sword arm of Mara--Mara, protector goddess, deity of love. Celann, driven to kill by the urge to protect, fueled solely by love.
Celann, who prayed to her relentlessly during the events in the city to keep his family safe and nearly lost his life fighting to stop his sister from turning the rest of their blood. (He's never been sure if Mara ignored him or made him the answer to his own prayers, twisted and turned him into something else. [If it had always been inside of him.] He's not sure he wants to know.)
Celann, who begged the divines to protect his family and, beaten and bloodied, decided he would. No matter the cost to his own life.
The gods would not protect them. Would not protect him. But he would--if he died, he would. The gods might let this happen but he never will.
Celann, lover, driven by love to become fighter. Killer.
The man who prays to the guardian divine is himself a guardian. The man who asks for a shield is sword and shield.
Celann, the embodiment of devotion
#celann#DO YOU SEE IT#THE VISION#if this were dnd hed be a PALADIN#devotion. obviously#its like his whole thing#his relationship with mara and the prayers and the woods and everything is complicated#he has a lot of questions and he dreads any and all of the answers#but he forgives mara anyway#(its easier than asking for answers)#idk i have like 18 thoughts about this is my head this is as coherent as its going to get rn#but do you see it#man who prays to the shield becomes the shield#im just posting this perfection is the enemy of progess hit post even if it could be better#editing to add im calling her a protective figure bc of whatever i was reading 18 pages deep into uesp#about specific areas in high rock where it mentioned she was considered like. a protective deity#ik shes mostly about peace and love on planet earth. hes about that too#i had so many tabs open when i was trying to character build him guys.....
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The only thing worse than having to write about a book you don’t understand is not being able to rightfully describe what you understand about the book
#we’re reading Frankenstein in English rn#and honestly I’m loving it#but goddamn#this is difficult#the question is about human connection in the book so far#and#okay ig spoilers for the novel Frankenstein by Mary Shelley#but it is so difficult to just say#the characters in the book make assumptions based on appearances#and bc the monster is ugly and so not-human or wrong in so many ways#they don’t even give him a chance at human connection#which is shown as an important part of ppls humanity and goodness#thru frankenstein’s whole thing in chapter 3/4#so like#human connection is one of the things that make us human#and because the monster isn’t human enough appearance wise he’s not even given a chance at human connection#they assume he’s just a horrible monster that’ll kill everyone#look o don’t even know if this analysis is close to correct but I’m too tired to know or care#The Crab Speaks
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🎨 🖼️ 🌈 🩹 🧍🏽💡 🔮⚡️☄️
How Can I Be Sure by The Young Rascals
previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
Special Features
Will Won't Believe Mike Has Feelings For Him, Until Mike Unpacks EVERYTHING!
#byler#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#will byers#will's pov#will in doubt still pining his heart out#i would expect nothing less#'how can i be sure. in a world that's constantly changing. how can i be sure. where i stand with you'#this entire song centers on this question which i think fits really well with what will's feelings about mike the night el left#bc mike has been giving so many mixed signals over the last 24 hrs#one minute he's ignoring will then he's suddenly upset bc will's ignoring him then he's lashing out at everyone then he's closed off#there's also this other layer of anxiety for will obviously that mike knows about his feelings#and i say this bc this is how the average fan interprets these scenes: ie 'will is gay and mike is awkward bc he knows how will feels'#and that's bc this could arguably be will's pov we're getting or at least his worst fears in these moments of confrontation#so will now having to grapple with the concept of mike also being hurt about will not reaching out... will: *scratches head*#if anything will thinks it's obvious mike knows how much he cares for him (as he has fears mike knows they go beyond care)#the whiplash this gay kid is experiencing rn i can't imagine#even despite maybe having hope in the past i do think will is under the assumption mike is straight as an arrow#and yet they're still best friends (or at least will hopes they are)#so where do they stand?#'whether or not we're together. together we'll see it much better. i love you. i love you forever. you know where i can be found.'#'how can i be sure? i'll be sure with you'#despite all this uncertainty. in the end will still wants to be there for mike and be a team#and how convenient will feels this way when mike feels the exact same? (in more ways than one....)#4x03#gif
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this post is not going to be very well planned out so i’d like you all to be niceys to me if i bungle the wording but i feel like the moment people understand that certain forms of bigotry stem from hatred for certain groups but can affect people not belonging to those groups and hurt them just the same is the moment a lot of our conversations about diversity, oppression, and how to combat marginalization stop going so hard in circles and start being productive
#marzi speaks#marzirants#i do think ppl are making progress#but like. with idk misogyny for example. that’s a form of bigotry i know well enough to ramble abt#there are plenty of specific types of bigotry that stem from misogyny. like… the fundamentalist idea of the power heirarchy of a household#yanno the umbrella one. god -> husband -> wife -> kids#this power dynamic leads to a lot of abuse of power which is why so many fundamentalist homes have abusive fathers#the dynamic exists primarily to elevate the man above all others- especially the woman#(children are an oppressed class too but that is a diff conversation from rn)#but it still causes suffering to the children despite it being this way primarily to diminish the woman#hell it can even cause suffering to the man if he ‘fails’ to fulfill that social role of provider#misogyny will be leveled against him and he will have his manhood called into question by his community#and this misogyny is not ‘misdirected’ in this case. it’s working exactly as intended#and once we can start to understand concepts like this esp in the contexts of intersectionality#and how different types of bigotry may look very similar but occur for very different reasons#i think we’ll be able to have much more meaningful conversations about where this bigotry stems from and what pushes it forward#and therefore the best things we can do to combat it#PLEASE REMEMBER I AM IN A WEIRD STATE RN DON’T YELL AT ME IF I GOOFED PLS. LIFE BIG AND I’M TIRED AND SCARED OF EVERYTHING COOL
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honestly it is so fun watching interviews of people and u start to pick up on little things in the way they talk, mannerisms, even stories they tell over and over
#the stories one is specifically ab bill hader btw tho ig it was not so much stories but when he was doing press for barry s2#the ronny/lily episode the way he would talk abt that was so consistent and obviously it's bc it's press#but even then i do think he would also just have lil stories he would go back to#anyway obv im watching paul dano interviews rn and i pick up on the way he says no at the end of questions and the yeahyeahyeah he does#it's so fun like those kinds of things just. are who a person is. not being parasocial btw#this happens in real life too when you spend time w a pwrson#the girl i met at the harry styles concert had this way of speaking that i still mimic a bit and i only spent a few hours w her#but yeah these kinds of things are my favourite things abt people <3 love and light and so many kisses#diary
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OKAY THE JO ASK I MENTIONED
I'm working on next week's video and it's just like 8 Characters Appearing In Y8 or whatever, and there's a lot I've scrapped to keep it manageable, but obviously I re-listened to the teaser trailer and it got me thinking about Y8 Jo... as usual...
RGG's connection with reality is tenuous at best, but in the case of prison life especially, it's pretty obvious it's Mostly modeled off of movies and other media. Which is fine, RGG is more often than not actively "going for RGG-ism rather than realism" (per staff interview), but it does mean I'll be BSing my way through most of this ask <3
So unlike America, in Japan, inmates can't just make a list of people who can visit them (I would cry if that were the case). Only family, people connected to the case/law enforcement/civil servants, and people who need to consult them about personal matters with legal consequences (e.g. marriage, childcare, employment) can get in.
Friends and associates aren't generally barred from visitation, but Basically It's A Pain In The Ass that requires consistent correspondence to prove they know each other. On top of wardens summarily rejecting visitation requests they don't think will be Productive for the inmate, there's an additional challenge for someone like Ichi as people with criminal records are deemed Bad Influences and so face higher rates of rejection and letter confiscation.
Now. ABSOLUTELY none of this Actually Matters because we've seen Yasuko (who absolutely should have a right to visitation) get rejected and people who probably shouldn't have a right be able to get in. Most wardens don't actually do their jobs (either because they're corrupt or because they're My Man Kosaka From Y5). Because of that corruption, even if a big deal is made of it (50/50 on that), it shouldn't be too hard for someone like Ichi to arrange a visit. It's just down to whatever Yokoyama and co. think is the best for the story.
HOWEVER. It did get me thinking. Because even before I noticed it was Jo's voice, I noticed he definitely didn't sound surprised to see Ichi. He doesn't miss a beat greeting him. And "been a long time, Ichi" has some nuance to it for being such a simple phrase; if you're saying it, and you're Jo, you're not only not surprised to see Ichi, but also the one who's starting the conversation proper and in control of the conversation, whether Ichi knows it or not. At least that's how it's been used so far and how it's generally used in media.
So it's like, What's The Circumstance Here where Ichi is not only able to meet him but Jo also isn't surprised... are you playing it cool... are you gonna be cunty... have you been writing/calling so you know to expect it... do you have other reasons to expect it... If I May Dream A Moment are you meeting outside of prison, so Ichi's the one who's caught by surprise...
This literally isn't even Anything for how long this ask is lol sorry I'm just. Yeah. I am once again Thinking
nothin like a lil thinkin while we wait for more lad8 news yk..... im an encourager of it hell yeah.......
#snap chats#speaking of Videos From Yourself am i heinous to ask what happened to that one tsutsumi vid - unless i just. missed it ☠️#tumblr loves hidin posts from me.. unless THAT video is THIS one but either way im interested to see this vid youre talkin bout#anyway i need to get away from my tablet the temptation to light my stylus on fire is immense i feel soooooo Detached rn#but my pyromania aside yaryar ive considered the circumstances surroundin jo and ichis Supposed reunion as implied by the trailer#so funny i was just talkin bout that bit with star lmao but anyhow#ill be utterly gobsmacked shocked in the dick if jo is out of jail in 8 but rggs done more Baffling things#jos timbre when greeting ichi could due to apathy or de to familiarity- arguably the same thing but i know them to be different in my soul#i dont think its an apathetic Hello tho so def seems like hes expectin jo for one reason or another#or. hes the one visiting ichi. in the My Dick's Been Shocked timeline where jo gets out#all that can be done at this point is to wonder-- ouuugh can next year get here already#i feel like ive been saying that everyday lmao but i truly must have this game in front of my eyeballs i just wanna knOW#too many questions too many wonders i wanna see them now before the compulsion to light myself on fire with this candle wins#much to think bout..#on that note im gonna get away from my tablet so i dont catch THAT on fire and im just gonna stare at this candle until uhh idk when i slee#forgive my lackluster response. ive been very lackluster as of late i fear (´▽`;;)#i keep saying 'forgive me' yet i continue to be lame im horrible (¯x¯;;;;)
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🍡
#im feeling very sad and low today :((#last year.... i was lonely bc it was the first midsummer my sisters had stopped speaking with me#but i had him. and i messaged with him during the entire day#and i sent him pics of my outfit and he complimented me#said it was pretty and that he liked my necklade and that my dress was nice :(((#i just loved talking to him so much#i miss it a lot like so much i feel empty and hollow without it </3#i can talk to others... and ofc i always appreciate nice things and compliments and messages from people. i really do#but it's just that thing when you are deeply in love with someone and they dont want you#when you're in love everything from that person is like pure liquid gold#so even if im happy that other ppl are nice to me#it's still like... compliments from him just made me come alive and made me so happy#getting attention from your crush and love interest is so special....#plus i just love like everything about him and i loved the way we talked :(#i just feel so empty and hollow bc im sad im so sad#this time last year he made me happy and i could talk to him all day#this time this year we're barely talking :(#and i feel so stupid and pathetic for saying things like i wanna understand him better and ask questions#and that i love him and he's the most special person to me#like can i read the room?!? why do i send shit like that when he is keeping his distance? im just bothering him with that stuff#if only he knew all the thing i have to supress and not tell him lmao#it hurts sm when there are so many things u wanna say to someone but you arent in a position to do so#bc they dont wanna hear it from u. oof that's pain bruv#i keep writing this post because i just cant let it go#i wish i could go back to last year#when he wanted pics from me and wanted me to message him#and we messaged like literally all day everyday#but now i feel bad and annoying for sending him any message :((#well... i am sad and heartbroken and that's just how i feel rn#i cant do anything other than accept it and just keep going 🤙
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Oh yeah..... midnight gospel be hitting.... sitting in my bed fuckin. Crying. Get a grip girl
#Its the trudy ep which is actually the episode that made me keep watching#I love love love this episode.....#Something about how.......... idk.... its a very profound ep that I can't explain and it's a nice cry#This ep kind of shaped my outlook on life especially after finding out about my friend dying#All the regrets and things left unsaid.... I make my peace daily by being really straight up#If I love and care about ppl I tell them... I say they are appreciated and cared for man#I am always thankful for people and I *love* people as a whole#And as long as the people around me intrinsically know that they are loved and cared for and cherished.... like that's it#That's the end game truly#I will never ever be sorry for that. This was THEEEE episode.#There's a lot of nuance behind my feelings best described by revolutionary girl utena#But still. I'm deep enough in my tags bc I'm crying over my s/o but not in a bad way#Fml I am so grateful to him as just an entity. As a person in my life even if our lives only intersect for this brief period of time#He hasn't been texting me much and we didn't talk much at work and I didn't even get a goodbye (rude lol)#But I know he was having a rough day. I know he needs a bit of tlc.#He could be on a downswing because I am certainly on an upswing#So I'm kind of like trying to focus on doing my own thing rn without worrying about it#Because I can't do anything about it so I might as well continue My Thang#But as I sometimes come to terms with us never talking again (gotta be prepared at all times to be ghosted)#I also come back to terms with needing him to really understand#how many people in his life depend on love cherish and admire him#And im not just talking about me... he has a lot of siblings and a not great mom. Two kids he loves.#He has always taken care of everyone else in his life#He deserves to really know and idk. It makes me think of this moment.#Realizing how much I dont ever want to question if he knows#I don't want to question if I could've done more or tried harder etc. I did my very best and didn't lie cheat steal or whatever#I am so grateful to him for letting me have that. Even if nothing can come from it in the end#Even if we should be torn apart!!!! Take my revolution!!!#Anyways. Here's wonderwall#Banger of an episode. Worth the rewatch
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#db#thoughts#yall i just saw him again :((#just got home from his house after another sleepover ugh#i’ve lost count his many sleepovers we’ve had but i think i will be cutting him off after today :((#he’s so sweet at times but the times he isn’t#when he treats me so fkn shitty…. it overpowers every sweet things he does#bc i really believe my feelings for him are growing deeper#i don’t wanna say i’m in love with him but i do like the man SO MUCH#everything about what he does and everything about who he is (besides being an asshole to me) I LIKE SOOOOO MUCH#sometimes i think maybe he likes me back but then he does something that confirms he doesn’t and it hurts so bad#my chest start to get tight lol#not me wanting to hyperventilate rn as i type this out omg#so i’m for sure cutting him off today#i am done feeling like this#i am done questioning why i’m not enough for him to like me back#this is goodbye for me#i can’t hold on to the sweet stuff the things that made me fall for him bc this feeling rn… WRECKS ME#I FEEL LIKE DYING INSIDE#I FEEL LIKE STABBING MYSELF JUST TO GET RID OF THIS PAIN OMG#this is the first time i actually see a future with someone and OFCCC this is how he is to me#i think it’s time to put my avoidant attachment style to use and ghost him :((#not that he would text me for me to be actually ghosting him bc IM ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO TEXT HIM AND HE NEVER FAILS TO LEAVE ME ON READ#anyway shoot me if i make another post saying i saw him again HAHAHSHSFGHJJJ#i left some things at his house but i’m sure he’ll just throw them away since he’s that kind of an asshole lol :)))#good bye
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hi guys
looks at you like this
#look at this image it’s so image#don’t mind me i’m just stressing bc i go back to school tomorrow#i am kinda nervous for the spring semester#i actually think it’ll be better than last semester bc last semester was kinda ass but like#still nervous yk#fling posse save me fling posse#i think my hyperfixations (whatever they may be. rn it’s obviously hypmic) will become less aggressive once i go back tho#bc then i’ll have work and my social life AND school yk#which is kinda sad but kinda a good thing bc i am running out of fics to read and fanart to look at lmao 😭#i’m ab ready to start posting fling posse meta (don’t encourage me i have so many drafts)#it’s ok i really do think this semester will be better than last#the way i’m posting this while i’m supposed to be doing assignments 😭 goodbye#shut up diana#one of my professors is gonna b assigning daily quizzes#another one assigned an 84 question pre assessment to do before the first day of class#it was to let her know a baseline for our skill level which does make sense but i think 84 questions is a little excessive#like why are you being a try hard who r you trying to impress. the other professors?? 😭#rosho would be disappointed#anyway ik im being harsh and i shouldn’t be judging professors that i haven’t even met yet#but like. giving an 84 question pre assessment is giving that boy in middle school who tries way too hard in gym class and cries if he lose#like can you chill. pelase. please. chill lelkasepleazewi oh hmhod i am only one person i#i rlly wanna start this semester off right tho#like i’m gonna start drinking more water my goal is to finish my water bottle every day OUTSIDE of what i drink at meals#and i’m gonna go for walks more since they make me happy :)#and i’m NOT gonna be hard on myself when i can’t focus or procrastinate or take forever to do smth (hashtag adhd)#that’s gonna b a hard one tho#anyway sorry 4 spam if you r reading these tags ignore me#i just need somewhere to put this lmao#maybe i should get a diary or something#i can be like greg heffley
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chestnut
pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader w. 0.8k genre: comedic fluff summary: your boyfriend, hyunjin, comes home on christmas day from sbs gayo daejeon after surprising you with a new look. he's shaved his hair and gone blonde. warnings: reader mourns the long hair but is very supportive. playful teasing a/n: this is literally just how i'm coping rn
New year and comeback season always meant new looks and fresh things. However, this was not expected.
You were at home, as always. Christmas was a busy day for Hyunjin, away at SBS Gayo Daejeon performing and looking pretty for the cameras. It was routine, but you always enjoyed tuning in and seeing the talent from him and his group as they performed.
There was a red carpet to unveil looks, but you were preparing some food for dinner that night. Things were getting hectic in the kitchen and time passed you by.
But your phone started to buzz. And buzz. And buzz.
Unable to ignore the repeating notification noises, you stopped what you were doing to figure out what had your phone blowing up. Notifications from posts and texts from friends... what was happening?
Everyone was talking about Hyunjin. As normal as it was for him to get the world's attention, the sheer amount of notifications was concerning. Something was obviously going on.
So, you opened your feed. It didn't take more than a single scroll for the picture to hit your timeline. On the red carpet, looking sharp and stunning, was Hyunjin. Beautiful outfit, many piercings, eyebrow slit fresh.
Oh, and his head was completely shaved and dyed blonde.
You stared at your phone in shock for what felt like forever. The two second clip of him looking stunning for the cameras replayed over and over as your brain tried to pick up the pieces.
You knew he wouldn't have his phone on him and able to look at it for a bit, but that did not stop you from blowing up his texts. Nothing outrageous or upset, but a lot of spammed questions and confusion got the message across pretty well. It was the least you could do.
Reeling from the overwhelming knowledge of your boyfriend's look, you decided to put your phone down and get back to cooking. You had to take your mind off of it or you might go insane.
The whole time, all you could think about was him. How drastic it was, how hot he looked, the whole bit. Hwang Hyunjin was taking up your entire mind.
Any task that you tried to do seemed impossible to entirely focus on. Every moment had you wanting to grab your phone and scroll, finding every possible photo of him. Hyunjin being a world-famous idol did not make this any easier.
Giving in, you resigned to doom scrolling. If you weren't able to focus, you wouldn't get anything done. Might as well just drool over how good he looks, you thought.
When he finally got done with the show, he was able to text you back briefly. He returned your texts with spam of his own, a bunch of apologies and letting you know when he'd be back.
Waiting for him to come home seemed impossible. The performance that the group gave was phenomenal as always. However, nothing could prepare you for seeing the look in person. Time passed dreadfully slow.
As you had finished up dinner, you heard the door swing open. You turned around to see Hyunjin out of breath. He waved to you, a shy smile on his face as he hung up his coat and took off his shoes. He approached slowly, looking uncertain.
"Do you... like it?" He finally asked, his voice shaky and small.
Staring at him for a few seconds, you smiled and nodded. "Of course I do, but why didn't you tell me?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise! A Christmas gift, you know?" Hyunjin tried to explain, breathing still heavy from running, "I thought it was a really big change, and I was worried you'd say no."
You looked at him incredulously. "Why would I say no to you wanting to try something new?"
"I... don't know." Hyunjin climbed into a chair, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as he fully caught his breath.
You watched him for a few moments, quietly observing his new look for yourself. He looked stunning, his sharp features accentuated by the new hair and the piercings grabbing your eye.
Although, you had something on your mind. "Oh, your poor hair," You lamented jokingly, "If you had warned me, I would've cherished it more if I knew it was the last time I'd see it."
"Aish, you'll see it again," Hyunjin groaned, standing up and looking at you, "Just not for a while."
"You better grow it back out," You retorted, walking over and running your fingers through his soft, short hair.
Hyunjin grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "We'll see."
"Hwang Hyunjin."
"Okay, okay, sorry."
As you plated your dinner with him, you looked over and snickered. "God, you really do look like a chestnut. Changbin was right."
"What did he call me?" Hyunjin scoffed, "I'm not a chestnut."
"Chestnut, dumpling, flour boy. You're becoming the real grocery list."
"I am not!"
#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin imagines#stray kids#stray kids x reader#skz#skz x reader#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#drabbles
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run rabbit run | c.h/the ghoul
➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 869 ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; rough, mildly dubious consent (kinda?), dom!coop, bareback, cum play, degradation kink, biting, pet names (bunny), man-handling, doggystyle, drabble, coop's gotta fuck you full so the ferals can't smell you ➥ summary | "the drabble thing HNNNGH think about coop calling you bunny from the start bc he clocked that you were always a down for it and you not getting it until he after you fuck for the first time" ➥ notes | do not look @ me rn 🫣 i feel like i've exposed myself too much lol masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated ❤️
He found the rabbit among endless dunes of rock and rubble; a frightened, jumpy little beast that required a firm hand to tame, and an even steadier one to control.
And while it would’ve been easier to dump ‘em at Super Duper Mart -- get his caps worth, pounds of flesh for vials of chem -- he took a shine. Now, what exactly it is about you that captured his attention so thoroughly, he can’t be sure (though he could hazard a few guesses).
What he does know is this: if it wasn’t for him, you’d have been killed a million times over by raiders, fiends, and ferals alike. Always finding your way into trouble as soon as his back is turned.
Like now.
So if he’s a little rough with you, it’s only because he had to haul ass half-way across the flooded district when he heard you scream.
Nevermind the hard lurch of his heart, the sensation of his stomach droppin’ to his feet. You were supposed to be safe, holed up in the building he cleared yesterday.
Surprise, surprise; you decided to go poking where you shouldn’t, and now he’s gotta rescue your dumb ass. Skidded around a bombed out building only to find you fighting off a small pack of ferals, their rotted hands scratching at your arms and their teeth gnashing at your face.
Goddamn it.
Same shit, different day.
“What did I fuckin’ say?” he snarls, chapped lips pressed tight against your ear as sharp hip bones rut into the softness of your ass. “You’re dumber than shit sometimes.”
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t - hhahh, slow down - didn’t mean to cause trouble.” Your hands scramble for purchase, nail beds aching from how hard you’re digging at the dirt.
Shoved onto the ground, pants sagging around your thighs as a stray rock digs into your cheek, scraping up the tender skin. “Won’t do it again, I promise.”
The Ghoul snorts, delivers a stinging nip to the tip of your ear. Your reedy whine soothes some of the agitation but he’s still bristling, aggression threaded through with tendrils of panic he refuses to acknowledge.
“I highly doubt that.”
You hiccup, knees spreading wide as your back dips - trying to get away, to get closer.
The fat head of his cock keeps hitting your cervix with every stroke, little fissions of pain kissed pleasure racketing up your spine as he stretches you past your limits and fucks you open.
Your gummy walls swollen and raw from the constant friction of his shaft, the rad burns scraping your insides up. Clit aching and so wet you’re dripping, a damp patch of earth beneath you.
“No, promise I’ll be good!” You pant, the scent of sunbaked soil and stagnant water heavy in your nose. “Please, please, please.”
Everything aches, limbs sore from your tussle and pride bruised as sweat dapples your brow, sticks the fine baby hairs to the back of your neck.
A hand clamps down on your hip so hard bones grind, yanking you back into every punishing thrust. Heavy balls smack against your clit on the in-stroke, stoking the embers of your desire. Your toes curl in your boots.
“I’ll believe it when I see it, bunny.” The Ghoul grabs your elbow with his free hand, tugging you up into his chest so his chin hooks over your shoulder, breath puffing along the side of your cheek. “You just don’ know when ta learn. So I’m gonna have’ta teach you. An’ I’ll do it as many times as it takes, you hear?”
You sniffle, nuzzling the back of your head against his face. “I mean it,” you say. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know there’d be any ferals around. Was just trying to find some more food.”
Groaning, his hips kick forward in a softer grind, still so deep you feel him in your stomach - pussy filled to the brim with cock - but not as harsh as before. As close as you’ll get to an apology until he’s done.
“This is your fault - you got ‘em all riled. Now, we gotta make you smell like me so take your punishment like a good bunny 'fore I decide ta eat you instead.”
And you do, letting him rut into you until he’s satisfied, aching and so swollen by the end of it that he has to bully his way in with every thrust, your pussy clamping down and milking him for all he’s worth.
When he finally does pump you full, you’re dumb and dripping. Limp limbed and sagging into the ground - only held up by the cage of his arms. Thighs shaking and clit pulsing in time with your heartbeat as he wrings every last bit of pleasure out of you.
“Sometimes,” he says, sitting back on his heels to watch as his cum oozes out of you in a sticky rush, dripping down your folds, “I think dumb bunnies like you are only good fer one thing.”
You whine when his thumb whispers over your clit, caressing your folds as he gathers up his spend. Gently fucks it back into you with shallow thrusts of his fingers.
“But that’s all right, I like ‘em a lil dumb.”
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#the ghoul x you#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul smut#cooper howard smut#fallout smut#cooper howard#the ghoul
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