#[ people know where the unfollow button is ]

[midnightactual]

Its funny, Yoruichi x Ichigo is the fandoms favorite crack ship for Ichigo particularly lol. What's your thoughts on this? Why do you think people like this ship and do you think it could happen if Ichigo became close to her like everyone likes to think?

I'd dispute that and say that fandom's favorite crackship for Ichigo is GrimmIchi, but I'll admit it really depends on what segment of fandom we're talking about, because GrimmIchi is the purview of transformative yaoi fangirls, while YoruIchi is the purview of curative horny hetmen who now mostly use AI to make porn of her while generally giving him a harem. (IchiBambi is also weirdly popular for some reason despite them never meeting.)

Why do the curative horny hetmen create YoruIchi porn? Well, that's an onion of a question.

The first and most important reason is because Ichigo is the main character, so he is automatically the main focus and fixation of the bulk of the curative audience. Now while Ichigo definitely does have a personality, it gets deemphasized enough over the course of the series that he can reliably function as a self-insert for the average guy, who is both the main creator and consumer of porn of Yoruichi. (As an aside, this is also a primary driver of UraYoru porn, which mainly revolves around Kisuke being perceived as "cool" and "a baller" despite being a nerd, rather than any kind of misapprehension of romance between them.) So, Ichigo is settled on first and foremost because he's the most obvious male to include in M/F porn. Obviously, Yoruichi is the real main focus.

The second reason is because "hot for teacher" is an extremely common trope and fantasy all by itself, and Yoruichi's canonical "teasing" of Ichigo forms a convenient onboarding point for imagining she might have some kind of interest in him, even though that's absolutely not what it actually signified. Picking Ichigo specifically caters to this better than any other male character would.

The third reason is because only slightly less common as a fantasy is the idea of taking a powerful woman and "putting her in place" through sexual prowess. YoruIchi porn usually has an air of "putting that uppity bitch in her proper place" rather than being tender or affectionate or whatever else. It's almost always explicitly sexual rather than sensual. Considering Yoruichi effortlessly disabled Ichigo during SS Arc, and in TYBW endlessly berates him, picking him imbues works with this element of powerplay and one-upmanship.

The fourth reason is because most of this art, coming from the West, has weird racial tensions behind it, given Yoruichi's ambiguously "exotic" appearance. Light-skinned anime characters are generally treated by Western audiences as white, even if they are known to be Japanese, rather than as Asian. Dark-skinned anime characters are generally treated by Western audiences as black, even if they are more accurately described as ambiguously brown. It isn't really hard to see that the "BWC" phenomenon is generally being appealed to, and for what audience.

[Future me editing in here: another reason is the Bleach equivalent of when Asuka or Rei is discussed, and someone answers Misato. Yoruichi is the most plausible stand-in for Misato, to Rukia and Orihime's Asuka and Rei, not that any of them actually fit those archetypes well. She's the "cultured" choice.]

So, basically, YoruIchi porn is thinly-veiled self-insert wish-fulfillment. (And so is most UraYoru porn.)

Now, at about this point, you're probably thinking, "Okay, but what about stuff that isn't porn?" and it is true that there is some art and fic of them that doesn't necessarily revolve around sexual conquest and/or titillation, and which exists for reasons other than the above, although it isn't that common.

Most of that work is also wish-fulfillment, just of a different nature. It tends to fixate more upon the idea of Yoruichi as a "mature" woman (as opposed to Rukia, Orihime, Riruka, and to some extent Nelliel) while also not carrying the pseudo-incestuous undertones of Ikumi, who overtly presented herself as like Ichigo's big sister he never had, and who nonetheless comes across as motherly toward him because she's actually a mom. Yoruichi doesn't have that same issue and is therefore a less "weird" older woman for Ichigo to be attracted to, yet one he actually kind of interacted with substantively unlike, say, Rangiku. Rangiku also lacks the "hot for teacher" element, as would Retsu, Kūkaku would actually be incestuous, and so on. (Ostensibly people like the idea of Ichigo with Bambietta and/or Candice as an enemies-to-lovers kind of thing? And because it's a mostly blank slate, they can do whatever they want.)

So, basically, Yoruichi is the "cleanest" option for putting Ichigo with an older woman he actually has some known interaction with. It's simply expediency by process of elimination.

In both cases, pretty much none of this ever has anything to do with what Yoruichi would think was attractive, appealing, supportive, sexy, and so on, and is almost always and forever to do with what the creator thinks would be aesthetically appealing. This is generally true of almost all Yoruichi ships, but I'll come back to that later.

So, is there some way it could it work out between them?

Not in canon. There is no possible canonical or pseudo-canonical telling of events where Yoruichi would have any interest in Ichigo. I'm phrasing it as an absolute because in my understanding there is no way Yoruichi would ever show any actual attraction toward Ichigo. He's too young, he's too naive, he's too foolish, and he generally just gets on her nerves... exactly like Yūshirō. In fact, she derisively makes the comparison herself in chapter 629:

If she sees him as anything in canon besides as a project to be babysat, she sees him as an annoying younger brother. I don't really think I need to explain that no matter how much "closer" they became platonically, she would never have any interest in him romantically.

So, to reemphasize: anything with YoruIchi within or near canon is ridiculous and out of character and is purely for the sake of the creator or audience.

Now, do there exist alternate universes where Yoruichi could find some (older) version of Ichigo appealing, say if they were much closer in age? Like, a human verse where she's 27 and he's 23 or 24? Yeah, sure, that's possible. I can readily imagine a version of Ichigo that could appeal to a version of Yoruichi, under other circumstances. That Ichigo would probably have to be a mixture of Ichigo at his most mature (circa FKT) and at his most confident (early Bleach) in terms of personality in order to get her attention.

Here's the problem though: Kūkaku exists, and she already is that without all the extra baggage.

To return to my point on Yoruichi ships in general, they generally exist to service the creator/audience, or their actual fave. As I have laid out here, YoruIchi mostly exists to facilitate fantasies which Ichigo is standing-in to enable. UraYoru generally treats Yoruichi as Kisuke's prize and accessory that he regularly gets to fuck as a reward for being so awesome. YoruSoi broadly treats Yoruichi as Soifon's prize for showing such "piety" and "faith" toward her "idol", which she "deserves" because "she loves Yoruichi so much" (in an ironic reprise of how most IchiHime that I have seen, regards Ichigo as Orihime's prize for "loving him so much").

Because you've happened to catch me on a day where I've taken my meds and I am very actively and continually choosing violence (I'm listening to "Set The World Afire" by Megadeth on loop as I write this), I'm going to go over the other two a little more before proceeding onto my final argument.

The entire "Yoruichi and Kisuke are childhood friends (to lovers)" construct is a misunderstanding that comes from a failure to understand the nuances of Japanese-to-English translation, to appreciate that Shinigami do not experience time and growth as humans do, and to appreciate that characters are often vague and imprecise in their speech, if not outright lying.

When Kubo answered in Klub Outside recently that Aizen was aware of Kisuke even before Kisuke and Yoruichi met, the correct solution to that was not to assume that Aizen met Kisuke in the Muppet Babies playpen, it was to realize that "very young" for a Shinigami can extend out to their 100th to 150th birthday, or even more. Shinigami appear to categorize periods of their life by relevance to their current existence, not strictly by chronology, and this is likely a function of their nonlinear aging. Time in the strictest sense is less important than the major events in their lives, and takes on a relative nature, which has a long history in Japan anyway. You might consider this as like the "11 lives" concept. Yoruichi met Kisuke a few "lifetimes" ago, a time which she now considers "very young" in her life. That's all.

With the childhood friends angle thrown out, we come to the idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi are in fact good friends, which I dispute. As I think much of this blog serves as testament to, people are generally not particularly interested in figuring out who Yoruichi is, why, and why she does what she does, let alone what she may have been up to. They're not interested in analyzing what is known, because if they were, I would not be discovering and presenting a lot of these things for the first time—they would be well known already. So, when people fill in Yoruichi for UraYoru, they fill her in in such a way as to accommodate and coddle Kisuke, their actual blorbo.

I find that disrespectful to her in the extreme.

I will also tell you that YoruSoi is the exact same thing, simply lesbian as opposed to het. The actual blorbo is Soifon, and she is "awarded" Yoruichi for her troubles in the exact same way.

I actually personally find YoruSoi even more absurd, to be honest. First, because the misunderstandings that created UraYoru are simpler to understand, second because YoruSoi overwhelmingly only exists in the anime, but third and foremost because YoruSoi is presented as this great triumph of sapphism in response to the icky heteronormativity of UraYoru, and yet it somehow exists in the face of the now well-known LGTBQIA+ meme, "historians will say they were just very good friends".

That is exactly how people treat Yoruichi and Kūkaku, without a single hint of irony or self-awareness, even as they proclaim how "obviously" gay Yoruichi and Soifon are for one another.

Now, people are free to ship what they like, but I want to be fully clear that I am immovably of the opinion that both those two ships exist exclusively to benefit Kisuke and Soifon, and always twist Yoruichi to suit what they think would accommodate those two most. They do not exist, and have never existed, for even a measure of Yoruichi's sake. She is an object within them.

She is also an object within YoruIchi, as already documented, and we come to the sixth and final reason why it exists: because people can correctly surmise that she belongs with a Shiba, but they do not have the courage or honesty to admit which one and accept that that equation doesn't include a penis.

Wrong Shiba.

(Much like Renji is clearly far more fascinated with Kuchiki Byakuya than he is Kuchiki Rukia. Wrong Kuchiki.)

As I have previously written:

But this is the truth: we have an incredibly sensual, sexual love poem by an incredibly sensual, sexy, powerful (brown) woman, which is clearly directed at her “best friend”, who is also an incredibly sensual, sexy, powerful woman. And that really brings us back to this post. WLW content from Japan is about cute fluffy innocence, not the intense female “When you’re both TOPS” energy that Yoruichi and Kūkaku radiate together (which I will again note was also present in CFYOW). Japan still isn’t ready for that today. It sure as hell wasn’t ready for it in 2005. And yet there it is nonetheless.

The world is simply not ready to accept YoruKū. This is especially hilarious in a world where CaitVi is currently running wild to rave acclaim.

(To be super clear here for the sake of nuance that nobody cares about: it is not "if you don't ship what I ship, you are wrong and bad", it is "if you ship these things I feel that you lack respect for Yoruichi and thus your ship is invalid and illegitimate in my eyes", and yes, there is a distinction.)

Basically, as far I'm concerned, only cowards ship YoruIchi. I'll be waiting at the adult table for them when they grow up and develop a taste for more than chicken nuggets and hotdogs with ketchup on them.

[barisiscourtroom]

wow. way to disrespect my wishes, anon.

normally i would have answered an ask like that, it was anti Rollins but not violently hateful, but since you clearly sent it as a response to me asking people NOT to send me Rollins hate, i will not.

and going forward, i will not answer to anything anti Rollins.

i still don't ship Rollisi, i still think she's not perfect and that she has fucked up, but i also know that that's the point, no one is perfect, as these shows constantly shove down our throats.

so while i previously could entertain some wanky salt sessions where i went a bit anti Rollins, going forward it'll only make me think of hateful assholes like you. the kind that makes fandom a less fun place to be. the kind that never respects other people's wishes because you have an opinion and it's more important than anything else that you get to say it, regardless of the consequences. to take another fandom as an example: the kind of people that has made me hate Destiel to the point where i get annoyed 98% of the time i see anything Destiel, because some of the hellers are so fucking disgusting (and loud) in their hate towards anything they deem icky (ie: anything that isn't their ship. ie: Wincest and Sam, two of my favorite things).

and i'm not doing that. this blog probably wouldn't have been a great place for Rollisi shippers and Rollins fans, not the worst but not great, but after you, anon? they'll be fine here. because i refuse to indulge in your disgusting hate campaign.

[druddigoon]

if you think ao3 is disgusting and a place for rapists and pedophiles, feel free to unfollow me

[ladygrey7]

.

[abbyshands]

PALESTINE LINKS

in honor of the media blackout this week, i wanted to compile a list of links and resources regarding what’s going on in gaza. i advise all of you to give these links a look at, or to at least reblog them. the people in gaza need the bare minimum from us in that sense. &, well, if you can’t take enough time out of your day to give these links at least a look, a like, or share, then, bye !

& for all the the last of us fans out there, you need to see this. it’s genuinely a must. not to call anyone out, but i see a lot of people who have not spoken out about this at all, who, for example, keep publishing or reblogging fics etc during the blackout. i love a good fic as much as anyone else, but you can wait a week. there’s really no excuses here. if you didn’t know about the previous blackout, then now is your chance. don’t turn a blind eye to this.

at the end of this post are links specifically for those engaged in the last of us tumblr. if you aren’t going to look at the links before that, then at least look at those.

oh, & for the dumbasses who are unfollowing me for spending a week to post about a fucking genocide? fuck you, & good fucking riddance. you are not and never were welcome on my page. i don’t want you here anyways!

PALESTINE LINKS

SEVERAL ways you can help the people in gaza. some of which are fully free.

SEVERAL links regarding info around this genocide, such as places to boycott, and ways to learn more about the nature of it all.

SEVERAL ways you can help, including ways to donate, petitions you can sign, and campaigns you can join.

places you NEED to boycott. don’t buy from them, regardless of if they really fund israel or not. if they support them, that is more than enough. boycotting is a way to resist, so do it. at the end of this post are also places that are helping those who are in gaza, and families you can help escape by donating.

know that this issue did NOT begin oct. 7th. this is so much deeper than you know, and has been going on for 70+ years. click the above link to educate yourself on that front.

CLICK HERE TO HELP PALESTINE! this site has already been debunked on if it really helps the people in gaza or not, and it does. just one click is all you need. one button, once per day. you can even do it on different devices or browsers so you get more than one click in. click it daily!

CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES using this link, and this link (this will help you find ways to call or email them depending on where you live). also, urge biden and congress to do right by the people in gaza. the U.S. sends billions of dollars to israel every year, funding the genocide that’s ensuing as we watch on from the comfort our homes. do the bare minimum, & hold them accountable. please.

HERE ARE WAYS YOU CAN DONATE or find a PROTEST near you! not everyone is readily available to do these things, i know that. but looking into them could never hurt, or at least sharing it elsewhere so there is more awareness surrounding it.

LEARN OF AFRO-PALESTINIAN EXPERIENCES, & the efforts they have made over the years. i think it’s so, so crucial that we hear their voices, &, god, learning of all that they’ve been through, & all that they’ve done, is so inspiring.

here is some more info regarding BOYCOTTING. boycotting does, and has been proven to work. this post explains the subject a bit more in case it happens to confuse anybody, along w/companies and such that need to be boycotted, & why. as i said before, boycotting is a way to resist. so do it!

HERE IS A 🇵🇸 MASTERLIST including ways to educate yourself, donate, books you can read, & films you can watch. this is one of the best links i have regarding this genocide, and i highly recommend you look at it!

SOUTH AFRICA took israel to court for this genocide! read about it in the above link.

FOR THE LAST OF US FANS

do not remain in the dark about the last of us’s link to the ongoing conflict in gaza. neil druckmann, the director of the game, is a ZIONIST. he grew up in israel, and TLOU2 is rooted in israeli themes. now, no one is saying you have to quit playing the game, or dislike it, for all you dense ones out there. but i ask that you remain aware of this aspect of it, especially if you are regularly engaged in the last of us tumblr.

this is a link that i highly, highly recommend you read through. it discusses the HEAVILY ISRAELI THEMES TLOU2 displays. click the following link to learn more on TLOU2 & NEIL DRUCKMANN.

DO NOT BUY TLOU, TLOU REMASTERED, TLOU2, TLOU2 REMASTERED, OR ANY GAME FROM ND! neil druckmann has donated money to the IDF in the past. & where do you think he’s getting his money from? yeah, you got that. watch gameplays, pirate these games, or buy them secondhand. several shops sell used games. & for those of you who went and purchased the game anyway, knowing about all of this? fuck you.

if you think your $10 doesn’t matter, then think about this: okay, one person spends $10 on the game. whatever. but when 100,000 people do it? that’s a million dollars, going into the hands of a zionist, who is using YOUR money to help kill innocent men, women, and children. put that in your pipe and smoke it.

it is not just the games you need to boycott. HBO’S show also needs to be. follow this link to learn of more movies and shows you need to boycott, & the reasons why, including the last of us. let’s also not forget that dina & abby’s actresses are in support of israel, and BELLA RAMSEY, ellie’s actress, has also shown support.

boycott. the fucking. show. there are a million websites where you can pirate it, so you are not giving any of your support to it. resist.

i understand that not everyone is educated on this subject, and that not everyone knew of the previous media blackout. for the last of us fans, i understand that not everyone knew about the game or show’s israeli nature. but it is never too late to take part. it is never too late to care. i promise you that. if you purchased the game, at least donate to one of the sources above. that’s just bare minimum.

get educated, get loud, & GET PROUD! these are innocent people who are dying as you read this from your bed, couch, whatever. the least you can do is like & reblog so this reaches more people. your voice matters, big account or small.

FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE 🇵🇸🍉

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

📌 Pinned Post 📌

Welcome to Bigboysdrinkmilk’s Tumblr, where I post gym progress pics and shitposts. That’s it.

Want to donate to my growth? Gains are expensive:

Venmo: @bigboysdrinkmilk

Cashapp: $bigboysdrinkmilk

Or follow me on Instagram? intheshadowofyggdrasil

Feel free to send asks, anon or not, or DM with messages! I’m friendly but generally slow to respond. Mobile users, find commonly used tags in the tags in this post.

About Me/FAQ:

Name: Roman

Age: 31

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Sexuality: Gay/Queer/Poly

Location: Seattle, Washington

“Will you give me gym advice?”: I’m happy to share my experiences or opinions, but I am not a certified personal trainer and what I do or what works for me may not work for you.

“Want some nudes?”: My DMs are always open but I have a very active and fulfilling sex life out in the real world and don’t necessarily have the energy to be horny on here all that often.

“Why aren’t you answering my ask?”: This could be for a variety of reasons, including: you asked personal information or medical advice, the ask was in response to something that was too distant time wise, you were insulting or negging or otherwise being strange, I’ve already answered the question recently, I missed it, or it was really sweet and I’m keeping it in my inbox to hold on to. Feel free to ask again, but certain things don’t get responses.

“I don’t like what you’re posting.”: Cool. No need to announce your departure. I tag clumps of posts that may clog up people’s dash, usually with something like #ask or #tumblrgames. If that solves your issue, great! If not, the unfollow button is right over there.

“Have you ever committed a felony? Do you intend to commit a felony? Are you committing a felony right now?”: Babygirl, we don’t know each other that way. And what are you, a cop?

“What’s your workout routine?”: I rotate through sets of three day splits in a six days on one day off pattern so that different muscle group combos are hit in various arrangements with each group being hit twice a week. It’s overly complicated and not what I’d say other people should do. If you’re asking what I recommend to other people, Push-Pull-Legs is great for beginners and intermediate lifters, alike.

[honeytonedhottie]

how to successfully rebrand⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁

this post is a collaboration with my FAVORITE @prettieinpink. in this post we'll elaborate on rebranding urself and implementing change in a way that is not only efficient but not that difficult to do ✨

FLIP THE SCRIPT ;

write down who u wanna become. what ur goals are, what ur style is like, ur schedule, achievements, relationships etc. however instead of writing it like "it'll happen one day" write it as though it happened already.

on the flip side i want u to write down what u think hinders you or blocks u from making the rebrand that u want so desperately. ur weakness. then flip them and find solutions on how to deal with it entirely, or diminish it significantly.

EXPAND ON UR BEAUTY ;

learn how to do makeup that is suited for ur own features. learn which clothes and colors compliment and flatter you the best. when u try and use a cookie-cutter approach to beauty as a way to fit a standard, you won't feel/look ur best.

thats why its important to know your own self the very best. no one knows ur beauty and body like you do so only you know best how to make ur beauty bloom.

DEVELOP UR OWN STYLE ;

u dont have to follow along with every single trend that u see in the fashion industry. although its fun at times or the particular trend can inspire u to create more outfits, its important to have a sense of individuality when u dress.

i recommend creating a pinterest board and filling it up with clothes that u love and clothes that align with ur style. find a fashion inspiration or multiple if u dont know where to start. when u go shopping, reference this board and look for clothes that r similar to the clothes in ur pinterest board.

REFRESH BUTTON ;

block the numbers of people that keep u trapped in a version of urself that u no longer associate with. get comfy with the block button girlies!! you can control who sticks around you and you're directly responsible for protecting ur peace.

delete photos of people who are no longer in ur life (like, they hurt u or walked out of ur life/vice versa) change up ur environment and what ur staring at every single day. unfollow people on social media who dont inspire you/who make u feel bad about urself and where u are on ur rebranding journey.

ADAPT ;

remember that list that we made earlier? lets learn to adapt habits can cultivate that and make this rebrand thrive. identify nonsense in ur life and learn how to get comfortable with cutting it off.

EXECUTE ;

now its time to put everything that we've covered into a action with a few easy and simple steps.

do ur SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats)

create solutions to what u classify as ur weakness

commit to yourself and your rebrand

[popfizzles]

TUMBLR MADE ME UNFOLLOW YOU AGAAAAAAA idk what the heck happened lmfao what the heck

No dude you know what keeps happening. I figured it out.

When I get Tumblr DM's, my phone will give me a notification.

HOWEVER. DIRECTLY UNDERNEATH THE DM. Is a BIG BUTTON. that just BLOCKS the person who sent me the DM ????

And it's happened like 5 times in the past month, where people would send me a message, I TAP the notification to open it, and I FAT-FINGER that giant fucking BLOCK BUTTON instead of opening the message ???????

And blocking someone obviously makes them unfollow me, so when I unblock them, it keeps the user unfollowed.

so if you suddenly find yourself unfollowed after sending me a message.

just know. my phone's UI won that day. and i am so sorry

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Gonna be real under the cut

As someone who has been bullied all of my schooltime because I was too awkward, too fat, because my dad left us, because of how my hair looked, because I was wearing the same pants for two days in a row, because I had respect for my teachers, because i never had a boyfriend, because i didn't drink....

I am so glad the internet wasn't around back then.

If shit like what is happening currently in this fandom would have been happened to me twenty years ago?

I don't want to imagine what I would have done to make it stop.

Bullies have always been the same.

Mirroring their insecurites on someone who thinks won't fight back (or in this day and age can't because you can't censor the internet and reporting will only get you so far)

If you are one of the people "confessing" on that certain blog

You are nothing more than a bully.

If you have a problem with someone and don't want to use the block button for whatever reason, you get into the inbox of the person you feel is "mistreating you" and ask them why. You don't go around sending hateful messages hiding behind the anonymity this website provides under the impression that it's "confessing".

If you genuinely feel offended that not everyone (of the so called big blogs) talks to you, that you're not instantly are getting the notes on the fics you post, that you don't have enough followers, that you dont feel welcome in a fandom....

Things like this can take years.

And it takes work. It takes constant writing. It takes constant making gifs. Constant making art.

And yeah sometimes people chose to not reblog other fics/content? So what? Big deal. No one has to!

Like it is some kind of obligation once you hit your made up big blog follower number to reblog every single content from anyone. wtf?

Of course things mutuals post get reblogged more often, because they are on our dashboards.

Personally I used to find new writers/fics by going into the Pedro tag. The tag that is now swamped with hatefull "confessions" so I just don't go looking anymore. You think this will get you the exposure you want to?

Maybe it will, but not in the way you have been dreaming of.

And you bet your ass we are gonna reblog our shit as often as we want to. . And if I want to reblog my own fic twenty times because i am proud of it? Not your problem. The unfollow and block button is there for a reason. USE IT.

Because, newsflash, these are our own fucking blogs and we can do whatever we want with it

Like you.

Who choses to bully people for the fucked up reasons your little brains think are valid.

But bullying is never okay and I hope one day you realize and care that you actually hurt people. Sometimes to a point where you can't be sorry anymore cause they're gone.

I guess what I wanna say with this post is grow up.

And don't even get me started on how people over the age of 30 are creepy for still being in fandom.

You do know what a hobby is, right?

The majority of the content you love so much would be gone if we all would be gone. Maybe keep that in mind the next time you get into some inbox to call people out you never have bothered to get to know in the first place.

[formulapierre]

The Loneliest | Charles Leclerc & Max Verstappen

Pairing: Ex!Charles Leclerc/ Max Verstappen x Reader

Prompt: Might have to make this a series...based off the song 'The Loneliest' by Maneskin. Where you are fed up in your current relationship and Charles has to watch as you find somebody else and see how much happier he makes you.

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 4.5k

Song: The Loneliest by Maneskin

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

“Charles, I don’t know what to tell you. I can’t do this anymore,” I say, gesturing to us. “I can’t lie to you anymore and pretend everything's fine! This…it's just not working for me anymore. I can’t do it,” I admit

“Mon amour, don’t- what are you trying to say? That I’m not here enough for you? Believe me, I’m trying! I get the first flight home after every race, we live in Maranello so I can come home to you each night. What more could you possibly want from me?!” He asks, shocked at your words and surprised that you were even having this argument…He thought you two were solid?

“I feel stuck Charles! I don’t have any friends here and everywhere I turn I have to smile and play nice because I’m your girlfriend. Nobody knows me! Fuck, I don’t even know me anymore!” You reply, managing to work yourself up even more, you didn’t even know you felt like this…when you started, you just couldn’t stop.

“So what? So where do we go from here?” He asks, clearly done with arguing, you assumed that you would kiss and make up like you usually did.

“I’ve got a taxi coming in an hour to take me to the airport, I boxed up all of my stuff and put it in the spare room. There is a courier coming to pick it up on Tuesday…” You admit to him, His jaw drops slightly at how you had planned everything.

“So you’re just leaving?” He asks bluntly.

“Yes, I need space, I need time, I just-,” You start to say, relief finally hitting you that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. “I love you, Charles…but not enough to sacrifice myself,” You tell him honestly.

“This is it then? Two-and-a-half years, just gone like that?” He asks, clicking his fingers when he says ‘like that’. When He says that you can’t even look him in the eyes. “Ok…well I don’t want to be here to watch you leave…” He adds, picking his car keys up and shoving his phone and wallet into his pockets. “I love you, more than you could ever know,” He says before closing the door behind him.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes; It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

YourInstagram

Liked by YourBestFriend and 12,837 others

YourInstagram Home never felt so damn good

YourBestfriend Best surprise ever!!!

---- YourInstagram 🫶

YourMum Amazing pictures, good to finally see you at home x

F1WAGs STUNNING!!

---- FerrariFan1 Wish I was her!

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Charles only briefly looked at the photos, not bothering to like them and leave a sweet comment like he usually would but instead clicking on her profile and letting his thumb hover over the ‘Unfollow’ button. He decided against it, knowing the fans would go crazy if he did. He just switched his phone off and dropped it beside him.

‘There's a few lines that I have wrote In case of death, that's what I want, that's what I want’

'Amour 

Cherie

Y/N

You,

We have been apart for nearly two months, that will be the longest we’ve ever been apart. Ironic that... seeing that is the reason you chose to end it. People are starting to ask questions about where you are, why we are seen together anymore and I don’t know what to tell them. You said you needed time and space? I've given you time and space, so where does that leave us?

Are you done? Because I know I’m not, I love you. And if there were any way to prove to you, my love, how much I love you then I would go to the ends of the earth to do so. Sometimes I just try to tell myself that you’re at home waiting for me, and when I get home it all comes crashing down again. I see that you are happy, your social media taunts me with what I don’t believe to be true. Nobody walks away from a two-and-a-half-year relationship as happy as you appear to be…'

Charles puts his pen down and folds up the letter, shoving it into his drawer, He thought writing it would be cathartic but instead all it's done is make him angry, and sad, and ultimately confused. The courier for your stuff came weeks ago and all he got was a quick ‘thanks’ in a text message as a response. He had tried reaching out, just to see where he stood but you didn’t reply; so He tried your best friend, she just told him ‘It’s best if you leave her alone, it's over Charles,’ So at that, he accepted it. When people asked, He said it wasn’t working for you both so you decided to stop seeing each other. Amicably. Of course.

‘So don't be sad when I'll be gone’

YourInstagram

Liked by WAGsF1  and 20,188 others

YourInstagram Amsterdam you have my 🧡

YourFriend I’m sorry but YourBestFriend Is going crazy that you went to Amsterdam without her 🤷‍♀️

---- YourBestFriend SHE WENT TO AMSTERDAM WITHOUT  TELLING ME!!!!!

----YourFriend See…Crazy

----YourInstagram It was a surprise…I didn’t even know I was going 😂

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To say that Charles was surprised…well that would be an understatement. He was completely shocked. He didn’t think you’d move on so quickly, ok fine, it had been four months but still. He wouldn’t have even thought about looking at another girl; everybody copes in their own way he supposes. He had to remind himself that he didn't see both sides to your relationship...He didn't see how much you were hurting, maybe that was why it was easier for you to move on?

‘There's just one thing I hope you know, I loved you so’

'Cause I don't even care about the time I've got left here The only thing I know now is that I wanna spend it  with you, with you, nobody else here Tonight is gonna be the loneliest.’

YourInstagram

Liked by MaxVerstappen1  and 62,198 others

YourInstagram Summers in Monaco >>>

Comments have been disabled.

Despite not having spoken for nearly eight months, you continued surprising Him. To be honest, Charles was more confused than anything else…all the reasons you gave for breaking up would be problems you would face with Max. The dedication to the sport, the time away from home…what did He have that Charles didn’t?

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest.’

WAGsF1

Liked by YourInstagram and 23,918 others

WAGsF1 Guess who’s back!

YourInstagram was spotted in the Monaco paddock this weekend on the arm of two-time world champion Max Verstappen.

MV1Fan Definite upgrade!

FerrariFriends Anyone got eyes on Charles?

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“You don’t have to see him; you can just stay in the hospitality all day; I’ll come and get you to bring you to the garage ready for quali if you want,” Max assures you as you walk into the paddock together, it had been a while since you’d had paddock passes hanging around your neck. When you had been before, an assistant about ten paces ahead would usually scan you in. You didn’t mind; you felt less on show this way, even though the guy on your arm was a double-world champion.

A few people turned to look as you walked towards the Redbull hospitality, most of those being Ferrari employees that would instantly recognise you. Max was pulled aside by a group of fans wanting autographs and photos as you got closer, so you took his bag and phone, making it easier for him to interact with them as you stood off to the side.

It felt like an ambush; not even seconds after Max left your side, you felt a familiar presence behind you. “Charles, I know it's you,” You say, turning to look at him.

“H-how are you?” He asks, clearly unsure of what to say.

“I’m really good, never been better, to be honest,” You tell him, and he smiles.

“Good to hear…I didn’t know you and Max were friends,” He says; you could see it coming.

“We weren’t…we bumped into each other in London and got to talking before I knew it. He was taking me to Amsterdam,” You say with a laugh. 

“Schat? Oh, Hey Charles, how's it going?” Max asks, coming to stand back next to you, taking the bag slung over your shoulder and putting it onto his back.

“Not bad, just saying Hi,” He says as his P.R. agent comes rushing over.

“There you are! You were meant to be in filming ten minutes ago,” She tells him, and he rolls his eyes before plastering a fake smile across his face and following her back to the Ferrari hospitality. Charles always used to do that when you attended races; He would always seek you out if He wanted to get out of media duties.

“You ok, schat?” He asks as you watch Charles walk away.

“All good,” You said, looking over at him; he clearly didn’t believe you. “I promise,” You add, kissing his cheek.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes’ ‘It's torturous’

“-That sounds incredible; yes, I want the job!” I say excitedly as Max sits in front of me, on the edge of his seat, and I just nod to him. I quickly thank the interviewer again before ending the call. “I got the job!” I squeal as Max wraps his arms around me.

“You got the job!” He replies, equally as excited. “You know what this means?” He asks, and I grin. “Move in with me. You can travel with me, come to all the races. We could get our own place in Monaco; I know mine is a little small for two people,” He quickly says; you had spoken about all of this before, so He knew your answer.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You agree, and he swiftly lifts you off the floor, spinning you around. Your job had always been an issue; you felt chained to a desk, but now, you were a travel journalist. It was quite literally your job to travel, and with Max going to over 20 different countries in a year at least, it couldn't get any better. You had promised Max you would be in Spain, but it had all been uncertain after that.

When you arrived in Spain, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder; you had no mountains of work to do when you got home; or a pissed-off boss because she couldn’t call your phone. All you had to do was enjoy yourself and cheer on your boyfriend. Then came Canada, and it was the same situation; you had quit your old job a few days prior and didn’t start the new one for a few months. Max had promised that He didn’t mind that you weren’t working at the moment, and as you had temporarily moved into his apartment, you had no significant bills to pay.

You slowly got to know people at Redbull, quickly becoming friends with Geri, Carola, and the rest of Max’s team. People at Ferrari still said Hi if you walked past them, but you were surprisingly able to stay out of their way, wanting to leave that in the past. The one person you probably wanted to avoid the most was the one you were struggling to. He seemed to be just around every corner or in your peripheral vision. Perhaps you were just seeing his face on every dark-haired guy with a Ferrari shirt, but with time, you learnt to spot the blue rather than the red.

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest I'm sorry but I gotta go’

“So I’m just about to start a new job; the other one wasn’t working for me. It means I’m working remotely so I can attend the races properly,” You tell them as you stand in the middle of the surprisingly quiet paddock.

“What’s the job?” Pierre asks.

“Travel journalism,” You say with a smile.

“That sounds perfect!” He replies.

“It really is, and now I’m not physically tied to London. I’m moving to Monaco,” You tell them, and you think you can see Charles having to replay what you said in his head.

“Getting your own place?” Pierre asks.

“No…I-um,” I start to say before I’m interrupted.

“I thought you’d gotten lost, Schat,” Max says, wrapping his arm around you.

“What? From the garage to the hospitality? I think I’m fine,” You joke as you kiss the side of his head.

“We were just talking about how you’re moving to Monaco,” Pierre said, trying to continue the conversation.

“We’re both really excited; we agreed Max’s place was a little small, so we are looking for a new apartment together,” You say, looking up at the broad smile across his face.

“We’ll catch up again, but I’ve got to go…sorry,” Charles says abruptly before leaving.

“He is happy for you both…He just doesn’t know how to be around you guys, especially after the way you left him,” Pierre says, trying to excuse Charles’ behaviour.

“Pierre? Seriously? We’ve been together for nearly six months, and besides, there are two people in a relationship…it’s not all my fault,” I say defensively, and Max runs his hand over my shoulder, attempting to calm me.

“I know, that came out wrong…” He answers

‘If you'll ever miss me give this song another go’

‘...and now you’re in the paddock all the time. It feels like you're haunting me. You are always there, at work, in my dreams; now you’ll be in Monaco. I can’t escape you; everywhere I turn, there you are or something that reminds me of you. Are you trying to punish me? Is that what this is? You have to show me what I lost. I am fully aware of what I lost! 

Every minute of every day, I am reminded of what I lost, who I lost. And I am so happy that you have found someone who can make you as happy as I thought I did. Was it ever me? Was I the issue? If you had your new job when you were mine, would we have argued about what we did? Would we have argued about the distance if you could be there? Would we have found some other reason to disagree?

It’s been nearly a year since you walked out, and I’m still no closer to closure. You were my everything; I was sure you were the one for me. I wanted to buy a house with you, one we could grow our family in; I wanted to make you Mrs Leclerc, and then I wanted to make you a Mother. I wonder if He knows how much you yearn for a family. I remember the lazy Sunday mornings we would spend together discussing the future and what that meant for us…’

‘And I just keep on thinking how you made me feel better And all the crazy little things that we did together, In the end, in the end, it doesn't matter If tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

One thing Charles didn’t anticipate missing was the little things. From the drives through Monaco, hand resting on your thigh as you spoke about your day to the way you sang your favourite songs as you cooked. These little things that now drove him crazy to think about, he took those for granted. Often finding them annoying, Charles might have had a stressful day at work, and all he wanted was a bit of peace, and you were talking his ear off.

What he would give to have you like that again.

He assumed Max was probably the same. Oh, how wrong he was. Max loved to listen to you talk, your voice soothing him after a bad day; your awful singing always managed to bring a smile to his face as he walked in the front door.

Charles was looking forward to the end of the season; Christmas was when all the drivers went home. Monaco was his again; he was the only one there. You and Max had quickly stopped before flying straight to the U.K. for the first few weeks off. Monaco was quiet at Christmas; there were very few tourists, meaning He could walk the streets interrupted. This is the Monaco from his childhood, the one He fell in love with.

Christmas without you was very different; there were no big surprises, drunken confessions of love, or hastily hung mistletoe. It was quiet; his family had come to terms with the fact you weren't around anymore.

Your Christmas was vastly different; waking up in your childhood bed next to Max was amazing; it all began to feel real and good. This is where you are supposed to be. Max slipped right into your family, and they took him in as their own. Something Max would later say how much he appreciated; coming from a semi-broken family, the love and kindness meant the world to him.

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

MaxVerstappen1

Liked by YourInstagram and 1,029,123 others

MaxVerstappen1 Schat, by the time you are reading this, I’m praying you will have said yes.

You are my everything; I cannot even begin to try to tell you how much you mean to me. I never believed the stories, my Mamma  would tell me about finding my one true love…well, mamma, I did it. I found her.

I found her in your favourite city, doing your favourite thing, and she is perfect.

We have only properly known each other just over a year, but it feels like an eternity and that’s how long I want to spend with her.

So Schat, if you didn’t say yes…well, then I’m sure I look like a right fool now but this is me, bearing my heart and soul to you.

The simplest words to describe it are ‘I love you' so?

Will you marry me?

YourInstagram …I said yes.

YourBestFriend Dibs on maid of honour

---- LandoNorris Only if I can be the flowergirl!

F1 Time for a F1 Royal wedding!

RedBullRacing Congrats future Mr & Mrs Verstappen

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‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes; It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘And now I have to watch as He proposes to you, eventually marries you. I should be him, that should be me. It should be me you are walking down the aisle towards.

There’s this beautiful church in Monaco that I always pictured us getting married it, it's the same one my maman and papa got married in when they were younger; I dream about it some nights…usually after seeing you in the paddock or seeing pictures of you on social media.

I dream about the long white wedding dress with the cathedral length veil, the bouquet of flowers pressed against your stomach as your papa walked you towards me, towards our future. Then we’d exchange our vows, our promises of eternity together, through sickness and health, till death do us part. That’s what we’d promise each other.

The reception afterwards would be the best night of our lives; Pierre would give a speech, no doubt telling the story of how we met and how He witnessed our love blossom into what it was. Now I don’t know whether you’ll ever read this, but I want you to know, you have to know that you were my future. I wanted everything with you…and I struggle to see how I wasn’t enough for you. He is me in different colours…

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious’

YourInstagram and MaxVerstappen1

Liked by YourMum and 1,340,193 others

YourInstagram Always expect the unexpected

Baby Verstappen due in November

Mummy and Daddy would like it to be known that the wedding has been postponed until 2027 so that we can celebrate our love as a family.

Max & You x

DanielRicciardo Congrats guys, this baby won’t know what's hit them

----MaxVerstappen1 Please don’t hit our child…

-------DanielRicciardo I meant with love…

YourBestfriend I have a confession…

—-PierreGasly #BumpBuddies…

—-----YourInstagram Gasly…what did you do?

—---------YourBestfriend Me?

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Charles guessed he did know that about you...

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘...but that is it. Isn’t it? You’re having a baby. I’m not going to sit here and tell you how it should be me. You know that already. This is my sign to move on; you’re going to be starting a family with Max, raising some kids, the white picket fences…all that shit. I wanted that, and now…it disgusts me. How fake it all seems, don’t you see it? I am going to have to stand on the sideline and smile, I have to be happy for you, after all you do deserve happiness. I couldn’t bear to see you hounded in the media over our relationship…or lack thereof.

So I guess I’ll have to move on, you were one chapter of my life in which the book is being forced closed, you took the pen and drew lines through the last part before scribbling in the margins ‘THE END’

It’s crazy to think by the time your son or daughter is born you will have been with him nearly as long as you were with me, it feels so much longer than that. It feels like decades since I last woke up next to you…

‘You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine; It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

“Char?” She asked, trying to snap him out of his daydream. She had noticed him doing it a lot recently.

“Mhmm?” He hums, eyes fixing back onto her. Her slightly darker hair, longer as it fell way past her shoulders. Your’s sat perfectly on your shoulders, bouncing effortlessly as you moved.

“What have I got to do to keep your attention? I just had a whole conversation with myself,” She says to him. ‘Be her’ was what he wanted to say but He knew she would just up and leave. Just like you did. Like they all did.

“You have my attention Celine,” He says bluntly, both of them knowing he was lying.

“Ok, well as I was saying…” She started to say before Charles zoned out again, she decided to ignore it this time and just pretend he was listening, that's what she usually did. She was on a date with Charles Leclerc after all…this had to go well.

Charles couldn’t see her, all he saw was how she was not you. She didn’t smile the way you did, the way he loved, with dimples growing as your smile widened. She didn’t blush when He complimented her, like He was the first guy in the world to notice her beauty. 

She just wasn’t you.

‘You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous’

YourInstagram and MaxVerstappen1

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 3,019,394 others

YourInstagram After three years and one beautiful baby girl later…I can finally call  myself ‘Mrs Verstappen’

Truly the happiest day of my life and so incredibly thankful that we were able to share it with our closest friends and family, the day would not  have been the same without you.

Fleur is very much looking forward to staying with her Grandma Sophie whilst Max and I enjoy some time to ourselves.

Mr and Mrs Verstappen x

DanielRicciardo best best man ever!!!!!!!!

—- LandoNorris Fleur took my spot as flower girl…groomsman was ok, I guess

—-----YourBestfriend And didn’t she look adorable?.

F1 Royal wedding? Check!

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Charles watched as his love slipped through his fingers. “Do you Max Emilian Verstappen take Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife?” The officiant asked, and Charles silently begged him to say no, to say it was all a mistake.

“I do,”

Charles winced at those words.

“-and do you Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N take Max Emilian Verstappen to be your lawfully wedded husband?” She asked. Charles was holding his breath, time started to slow down…

“I do,”

A silent tear rolled down his face.

‘Tonight is gonna be the loneliest’

‘Its strange to think I’ve been writing this letter for three years, I reread the words and remember all the emotions attached to them, I can remember what triggered all those feelings, where in the world I was at that point. And now, I guess it will end. I had originally intended to give you this letter, as one last ‘I love you’ but I now know that isn’t fair. On you, on Max, or on Fleur.

So as I conclude my letter to nobody, I think about watching you drive away tonight. Fleur in your mothers arms as you set off for your honeymoon. Part of me wished I had brought a date, to distract me from you. But I’m glad I didn’t. I think this was the closure I needed, I needed to know you were his…and not mine anymore…not that I think you were ever mine to begin with. Tonight will be the loneliest, as I lay here thinking about you, and what it could have been.

Charles.

P.s I will always love you.'

[lurkingshan]

I've been in multiple tumblr fandoms over the years and the same shit comes up over and over again wrt arguments about how we all engage with our chosen media on here, so here are a few things to keep in mind that have helped me along the way:

Not everyone is going to engage in the same way as you, and that's good, actually. Some people are purely here to gush over the things they like. Some people are here to do deep analytical breakdowns which will include criticism. Some people are cheerleaders. Some people are haters. A lot of people are a mix of both depending on what they're talking about on any given day. It's all good and valid, and it's what gives this space variety, allows us to learn from each other, and keeps it interesting.

The filter, unfollow, and block functions are your friend. If you love a mutual but hate the volume or the way they talk about a certain thing, just add it to your filtered tags (relatedly: tag your shit so people can filter you when needed!). If you consistently don't vibe with the way a person chooses to engage on here, just unfollow them. If you find them actively offensive or detrimental to your mental health, hit that block button, baby. We are all anonymous internet strangers and no one will die.

Someone expressing a different opinion from yours is not a personal attack on you. If someone hates a thing you like, they are not calling you stupid for liking it. If they love a thing you hate, there's nothing wrong with them, they are just taking something different from it than you are. That shit is all about you and your own insecurities, don't try to put it on them.

Vague posting is rude. If you want to directly respond to something someone said to get better clarity about what they meant, reply to their post or shoot them an ask or DM and talk to them about it. If you simply want to express a counterpoint without directly engaging them, just post your own take without vaguely alluding to them and building what is almost certainly a strawman of their original point. People you're vaguing can see you on here, folks. Don't be a dick.

Credit and reblog other people's ideas when you are building on them, and be kind to the creators who provide the artwork that make this place so special and unique. Reblogging is the lifeblood of this website. It's the only way people get to see content that is by anyone they don't follow, and the gifmakers on here in particular put in so much time and effort to give us beautiful images--share their work and tell them you appreciate it! You also don't have to agree with every single word of a meta post to reblog it (why would you expect to, it comes from a different brain than yours), and you absolutely should be crediting people and sharing their words when they sparked something that inspired your own thoughts. This is just being a good community member.

Embrace the difference between meta and fanwanking. Meta writing is analysis of the actual media content as it is presented, with arguments based in the canon text. Fanwanking is doing your own work to fill in gaps or create headcanons to supplement the canon text. Some people prefer content that leaves a lot of gaps because they love to creatively fanwank; some people prefer to be told complete stories without having to do all that extra work to make them make sense. These are both very cool and fun ways to engage, but when you're fanwanking be aware that those ideas are all coming from you, not the actual media being discussed, so others might not vibe with your interpretation.

When posting your own opinions, try to be clear about where you're coming from and why. If you have a personal experience or bias that is affecting your read, own it. If you're looking at a piece of media from a specific angle related to your own interests and learning, say that. It helps other people to know where you're coming from and why you're thinking about something in a certain way that can then help them puzzle out why they feel differently.

You don't owe anyone your presence here, and you don't have to express opinions on everything or respond to tags or asks if you don't have anything to say. Sometimes you might just want to take a break from posting, some things in the discourse might just flow right on by you, sometimes you will not have a firm opinion on a debate. You can post as much or as little as you want. You can suddenly decide you don't want to talk about a show anymore. You can not log into your tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Do you, boo!

Most people come to tumblr because they do want to engage with others, and this place can be a lot of fun if you just take what you need from it and let things that aren't serving you go.

[is-this-yuri]

have you been doomscrolling? feeling awful about it? do you feel out of control? does it seem your autonomy has been swallowed by the ever present beast that is the internet?

we live in the most overwhelmingly stimulating age of humanity ever seen, and it's only getting worse. our brains are sponges, soaking up whatever we smear them across, and it seems more and more difficult to find a clean surface to rest on. i'm no expert or professional, but ive been born and raised into the internet, and i'd like to hand out some wisdom regarding this.

the main issue: brain poison

since the brain absorbs whatever it's exposed to, media consumption is unsurprisingly going to effect it. the type of media, the amount of media, and the frequency of the media all play a factor.

it's not the internet itself that's bad here. it's the media on the internet, and the platforms designed to suck in our attention and keep it there until we're rotting inside our skulls.

we're never going to escape the internet. it's just a fact of life now, and a tool that can be used for wonderful things. so how do we learn to live with the internet and take advantage of its potential?

treat it like a dietary balance

staying aware of what goes in your brain is just as important as being aware of what you're eating. if you eat carelessly, don't listen to how your body feels after you eat certain things, and ignore any sickness that might result from rotten food, you're going to have a bad time and wreck your guts. the same goes for the brain.

you want to have a good mix of various types of media in the right amounts, or approximately so. if things are feeling bland, maybe diversify. if things are feeling stupid, try something more intellectual. if it's feeling too much, cut back on all of it

the following are three things you can do to maintain a sense of control and awareness over your media diet. this isnt a step by step and is in no particular order, theyre just ideas to carry forward in general any time it could be helpful.

1. digest

this is the process of thinking about and remembering what youve done throughout your time on the internet. it could apply to any period of time. so you might think, 'man, i've done nothing but watch tiktok all day.' or 'i've been scrolling twitter a lot more this past week.'

i feel like most people already do this to some extent, but it manifests as a fleeting sense of anxiety or shame that doesn't lead anywhere. analyze that feeling, and ask if it's really true or helpful.

ask if your media consumption is making you feel less focused, distracted, putting you into a brain fog, making you fall asleep when you don't want to, making you irritable and angry, drawing you into arguments, keeping you awake at night, or upsetting/disrupting you in any way.

digestion also means appreciating the good stuff and recognizing the good feelings you get too. so also ask if it's enriching you, helping you learn something new, giving you a new perspective, exposing you to something beautiful, passing the time, relaxing you, honing your focus, or generally lifting your mood.

2. cut

cut certain types of content from your life once you've decided they're not good for your media diet. block people. move on. tell youtube to stop reccomending that channel. block them. unfollow people. unfollow tags. block the tags. blacklist things. do it. forget the awful things that make your brain hurty. click the block button. uninstall the app. you know you want to

consider removing yourself entirely from websites that are designed to be attention predators. if you consistently feel like youre 'stuck' on a site and cant leave, it's probably best to just delete your account and get out of there. tiktok is NOTORIOUS for this.

i also tend to keep my following or subscribed count low. keeping the stream of content short forces me to find other things to do with my time. this goes hand in hand with things like turning off infinite scroll. it provides an 'end point' where the repetitive action of scrolling down stops bearing fruit, breaking the doomscrolling cycle. the internet is almost an infinite place, and its up to you to build walls around yourself so you arent lost in it forever.

its also important to get off the internet in general sometimes. i know this is obvious, but literally touch grass on occasion. doing anything with your physical body away from the screen will be more enriching than sitting there scrolling for hours. whether it's just a 5 minute walk around your house to stretch your legs or a 6 hour hike every weekend, part of cutting media will mean replacing it with real life. looking at some plants, doing a pushup, or working on a knitting project can be like rinsing your brain sponge under some cold, clean water.

3. curate

the flip side of cutting is curating. you'll want to be looking for media that makes you happy and feels productive or meaningful in some way. anything that not only doesnt make you feel like you wasted your time, but specifically makes you feel like you spent your time well, is a green flag.

keep in mind entertainment just for entertainment's sake is good for you too. you don't have to be watching university lectures and tutorials and stuff all day. finding high quality entertainment, such as personalities you enjoy, good production values, and inventive ideas can be really difficult. find the people who dont make you feel like a cocomelon baby and stick with them. from there you should be able to find similar content.

what's good for your soul is going to depend very much on you as an individual. this is also going to be an ongoing process as not only you but the internet both change and evolve. the important thing about this step is that you Make Decisions about what to consume. even bad decisions! it's all part of the process, and it's all about reclaiming your autonomy.

4. eat your junk food

this isn't a military drill or an exact science. i'm just a guy on tumblr with an intimate connection to his own brain and a LOT of time on the internet. that's my only credential. sometimes i want to turn that brain off and just mindlessly consume without putting any thought into what dirty dishwater is soaking into my sponge. sometimes adhd brain wants me to watch a shitty B movie in recap form so i dont have to commit to a full movie. sometimes i get stuck in the youtube shorts for like 3 hours.

that's fine. the most important part of any kind of self care is that a little bit is better than nothing. even just being aware that youre consuming something bad for you and knowing you arent ready to stop just yet is better than nothing.

thats it!!

now you should be prepared to take back some control over your media consumption. be gentle with yourself and take your time. eventually this stuff will become second nature, and you'll be effortlessly digesting, curating, and cutting media like it's just part of your personality. remember YOU have control over what the internet thinks you want to see. dont let it force feed you nasty slop anymore. let it be a reflection of your mind, not the other way around.

and good luck!

[lowkeychenle]

chapter 3: russian roulette nct version ☹️

masterlist ← chapter 2: y/n declares war → chapter 4: detective y/n on the case 🤓👆🏻

Description: After Chenle "accidentally" hits the follow button on Twitter, you try to get him to unfollow you by any means necessary, even if he's keen on staying right where he's at.

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x Reader (featuring NCT Mark, Renjun, Jeno, Haechan, Jaemin, & Jisung, aespa Ningning, & aespa Karina)

Genre: suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk

Content Warnings: classic bad bitchery, calling people by their government names, death jokes, kms/kys jokes

Note: introducing a little game in this part...you'll understand when you get to the end, but the rest of NCT Dream has entered the chat...can you figure out who's who? ;) let me know who you think so far...

Taglist: @poemzcheng @kpophosblog @i6renj @xuimhao @fullsunstrawberry @simpforarmihn @kpophosblog @iscocohere @222brainrot @daegale @leefullsun @annoyingbitch83 @chezziy @haechanielove taglist is open! comment to be added :)

The rest of NCT Dream has entered the chat...

+ random fan tweets + y/n and chenle priv...

[exhuastedpigeon]

Hey you. Yes, you. Sit down, let's have a chat. Grab your favourite beverage and let's get into it.

You don't have to engage with things that make you mad on tumblr dot com. Social media is one of the places where you're able to curate your experience and you should do that. You can curate your experience here more than almost any other social media platform.

If you don't like a certain fandom, you can filter the tags so you don't see it as often. If there's a blog or blogs that you don't like (for literally any reason) you can block them. You don't have to justify these choices, you don't have to tell anyone about it, you can just do it. You don't have to make posts saying that ABC fandom is toxic so you don't engage with it - you can just not engage with it.

And I know this might feel strange to you, but it is perfectly acceptable to be quiet about things you dislike and go play in your sandbox with the people who you enjoy playing with. You don't have to justify why you don't like something, you can dislike something because it just isn't your vibe. And someone enjoying something you don't like isn't a moral failing on their part, it's just human. Sometimes people like different things than you - that's fine!

Fandom is way more fun if you engage with things you do enjoy instead of spending time getting mad/upset about the things you don't. Other people are going to have different interests. They're going to interpret things differently than you and that's okay! In fact, that's good. If we all though and acted the same life would be so boring.

Instead of making posts about how you dislike XYZ and people who like it are toxic, just... don't engage with the people. It's easy. The block button is right there. By engaging with the thing or people you don't like you're actually bringing more attention to it... so just... don't.

The longer you're in fandom the more you'll realize there are people who just enjoy the drama. That's how they want to engage with fandom and that's their prerogative, but if that isn't fun for you then you can simply not follow those people or even block them.

You can easily avoid fandom 'wars' and ship 'wars' by curating your experience and not engaging with the people who are involved in them. If someone said something that made you uncomfortable you can block them. If someone likes a ship you hate then you can block them or filter that ship name. Not everyone is going to like what you like, but them not liking your favourite thing isn't a personal attack on you, it's actually not about you at all.

Curate your experience. Find the people who you vibe with. Filter and block and unfollow the people or fandoms you don't vibe with. It might sound hard, but the sooner you realize that you control your destiny on this site, the better off you'll be.

[jolalibrary]

little cute things to remember (because it’s been a while since we’ve done this):

✨ you’re more that the notes or the followers you get: outside of the obvious, sometimes a fic is a grower (it’ll find people in time) and sometimes it’s because people are storing your work away ready to read when they need comfort. your worth isn’t attached to your numbers, it’s your storytelling, your soul and kindness. plus, if you love it, that’s one super fan—and anyone else is a bonus.

🌙 you don’t have to write X to fit in/be seen: just like we don’t eat the same meal every day, people’s interests change. what is popular changes, but what doesn’t change is what makes you happy. so, write that because that means your heart will be in it.

🌾 it’s okay to be nervous about connecting with people you admire: but I promise it’ll be worth it. work up to it, take the time you need, but I promise (from someone who is a chronic worrier and big ball of anxiety) everyone will be just as thrilled to hear from you, as you are to hear from them.

🪴 your process is your process, own it: I see people worry about not posting enough, and those who worry they post too much. your process, your writing, your blog at the end of the day, is yours. if people don’t like it, they know where the unfollow button is. you’re doing amazing, you’re doing what you want, when you want it, with the time you have. don’t let anyone take your shine.

🔑 I don’t think I can write X or Y or Z: that’s okay. you don’t have too. even if they’re wildly popular or it’s your fave character/trope to read, it’s okay if you find it overwhelming to write. but, try. even in private, even if it never makes it online and stays in a private discord with your bestie. sometimes, it’s scary to take the leap, but sometimes it’s also pretty fucking great.

🩷 for my anxious, worrying souls: sometimes, it does feel lonely. it feels like you’re shouting into a void, surrounded by people, but still on the outskirts of the convos, the chats, the places, the fandom. it’s one of two things: perspective—your brain, as wondrous as it is, is also very cruel, and twists good things into bad (like a disney forest that if you go too deep into begins to look eerie) or you just need to find your person. the one you send all your thoughts to, the one who learns all the intricacies of your life, your routine, easily. it can be hard (and intimidating) to find them, but you will. they’re out there, waiting for you as much as you are for them.

☁️ what makes fandom great is not just the works we find along the way, but the souls we find and connect to. fandom is about supporting art, sharing, loving, enjoying, but it’s also about having fun, being in a space you can curate that makes you smile, and doing so with people who get you, who understand why you love that movie (even if it’s not rated that great) and love you for it all the same.

🫂 do what’s best for you: you don’t want to tackle that fic now, that’s okay. you want to change fandoms, that’s okay. you want to take a break and come back. you want to be around, connecting but not writing for a while, that’s super cool. you want to press pause, hide, lurk for a moment, you do you bby. ignore that pressure you feel on your shoulders, it’s not real. those who love your work, your words, your style, your heart will be here. there’s only one you, and if you burn out at both ends, all you’ll be given is a version of you that you’ll look back on and not like to be reminded of.

lots of love,

jo (undercoverpena) 💕

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3