#[ not sure what the parable was for this one ]

[squuote]

maybe he draws sometimes. maybe. mostly just buckets tho.

[juaneloriginal]

This is the story of a woman named Mariella

TW: BLOOD AND MISSING ARMS

aaaand a couple doodls

ignorance is bliss

@blackkatdraws

[blackkatdraws]

Draw your TSP designs as UNDERTALE CHARACTERS CHALLENGE!

The ONLY rule for this challenge:

Carefully look at the reblogs so you don't leave an artist out of the chain when you're reblogging. Try not to separate the chain into two/more threads if it's possible 💗

[chronicsheepdrawing]

You're right here, but haven't you always been?

[vellichorom]

i did it ✨

MY VERY FIRST FANCAM ( I THINK ) !!! featuring NONE OTHER than @satisfiedskye's Narrator & Stanley who... do not like each other very much; also have i ever mentioned i want to kiss ollie real bad. on his soppy ass mouth

song ;; Who Is She - I Monster

[the-pobble-terrarium]

so I was thinking about the lovebug au and it got me thinking. what if... other viruses? So I ended up making a You Are An Idiot narrator that's just out to KILL

If you wanna make a you are an idiot narry too PLEASE DO PLEASE PLEASE PLEAE EI AM BEGGING PL

[ettadunham]

sometimes i remember the hunger games and how nobody actually paid attention to what was in those books

[braisedhoney]

For a sec when u were scolding the narrator I thought "baiting" was "dating" and went "why can't the narrator flirt with us? 🥺" xD

ashfjgksksjf LMAO

*intercom noise*

the narrator is banned from flirting on board the ship, last time it happened we nearly hit an asteroid. also please stop sending him so many love letters he won't stop smirking.

*intercom noise*

[sysig]

The uh

The first play session went rather well

[blackkatdraws2]

2nd Batch: The Janitors!

[Blank Scripts AU (non-canonical)]

Four men walk in the cold hallways of the Parable, carrying with them janitorial equipment.

One of the ceiling lights was missing. Inside hid the mass of flesh that belonged to this building, an exposed wound. One would see it pulsating if they looked a bit closer.

The janitors, already used to the strangeness of this place, pay it no mind and continue with their chatter as they descend deeper to their next cleaning area.

BATCH LIST:

- [1st Batch: The Inhabitants] - [2nd Batch: The Janitors] - [3rd Batch: The Citizens] - [4th Batch: The Guardians]

↓ [Thoughts and Credits below] ↓

-----------⟡

The second illustration is complete! More coming soon!

Woah, this took me shorter than I imagined. After the disaster with the first illustration I'd assumed that this one would take me just as long [if not longer] but it was done in three days!

Not so fun fact: The Clip Studio app crashed just when I was hovering my mouse cursor on the 'export to png' button and no matter how much I tried to open the drawing file, it did not budge. How unbelievably convenient, the timing was too devious...

Luckily, I managed to save the majority of my process, but I still had to spend hours rendering part of the illustration again...

What a nightmare, haha!

To be honest, I'm falling into a nasty art block right now. This series will progress slowly, but surely. No OC or Self Inserts will be forgotten.

Melo by @okkistoops

He seems like a pretty chill dude! The thing I really liked drawing about him was his hair though. Since the art style is simplified [positively], I had fun translating how he'd look if I'd drawn him in my art style [which usually looks more manhwa-ish]. I'm happy with the result.

Mason Cole by @villiun

Stuck in the eternal torment of having to feed a hungry building and unable to escape, poor guy lol. I honestly liked this idea a lot! It reminds me a lot of I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream almost. Let's have him live for now, I feel like he deserves it haha.

Roland Watchforth by @reader-writer-combo

Roland!! I'd love to see this dude make it out into the big world, what a sweet man. Him copying Black is such a cute thing to imagine hahaha.

[bougiebutchbinch]

Wade and Logan fuck in two modes, bone breaking, all night long could kill someone bloody mess, and Logan eating him out for hours until he's a whimpering mess. You understand this .....

oh, 1000%. Often both.

They start like they do most nights - that is to say, with Logan between Wade's thighs.

He nuzzles at his cunt, scraping those plump lips with his stubble, then pulls back to watch the slick drip, the rosy beard-burn fade. Wade whimpers and wriggles. Shoving his hips up, chasing Logan's touch - little brat.

But, fun as it is to torment him, Logan can't handle this for long. He needs to be buried in him; needs his spit-slick to gloss over Wade's ass, gluing the backs of his thighs to the kitchen floor, until his taste and Wolverine's are combined. So, he indulges himself. Licking and sucking. Working Wade over with the indomitable patience of an immortal - eyes ravenous, but mouth soft.

And Wade? Oh, he's loving it. Writhing like a worm on a hook, clenching greedy around Logan's tongue. Chattering all the while: fuck yeah, kitty got the cream... no, wait; this is better than cream. This is Creme De La Creme De La Edgar... Ha! Eat your heart out, Walt Disney! I can make Aristocats references now without getting sued! ....Or, well, eat your pussy out, I suppose? Ooh - Peanut, do you think you could get to my heart if you keep licking like that for the next thousand years - like that parable with the sparrow who wipes its beak on the mountain, and wears it down to dust? Or is this more of a Tootsie Pop situation? A-one, and a -two, and a -

However, as the minutes tick by... Logan's control slips. His grip on Wade's legs turns bruising. The bites deepen, going from playful nips to drawing blood.

The next time Wade squirms, Logan snarls.

His claws snikt out, gouging through the soft of Wade's abdomen. Pinning him in place as Logan chomps down on his femoral artery, spraying them both with a hot gush of blood (and, uh, other fluids, because if that ain't gonna make Wade squirt, I don't know what is...)

#

Then, during a different encounter, an argument turns into wrestling, turns into fighting, turns into all-out murder. Which, obviously, turns into sex.

Wade has Logan pinned, a cheeky corkscrewed judo hold. Somehow (he's not quite sure when) they started scissoring, slamming together so roughly that Wade popped out his hip - but like hell is he backing down. He grinds down as Logan grinds up, laughing as his dislocated hip twangs. Manic and free.

There's blood everywhere. Internal organs stink and steam, strewn across the kitchen laminate. They really should've put down a tarp; Al's gonna bitch if she finds another spleen that got kicked under the cabinets and left to rot...

Logan growls, shattering that thought. Claws punch through Wade's pelvis, giving Logan more leverage, letting him reclaim control of their grind.

"Cheater," Wade bitches, but he supposes he can let Wolvie have this match. Out of the kindness of his heart.

The pressure is fucking volcanic. It builds with each slide of their sweaty bodies, each scrape of their cocks between their puffy labia. Wade can't tell if the slick between them is slick or just blood from where Logan worked his fist inside him earlier, rough and mean and fucking perfect, then extended his claws; or when he bit off Logan's plump, twitching t-dick off in retaliation and spat it out in his grinning face. But either way, their sex is molten-hot and gross and perfect.

Then... then Wolvie grabs the back of his neck.

Wade tenses - is he going for his medulla? Kinky; he knows how much Wade loves it when he kills him, so he'll swim back to life while being worked open on the fattest of Logan's straps. But Logan just snarls. He looks fierce and furious and all kinds of feral - but strangely desperate too.

Wade can't quite work out what for. But when Logan yanks him down, he doesn't resist.

Their mouths collide.

Not in a bite. Wolvie doesn't even take the opportunity to snap Wade's neck. Just... kisses him. Right there, in the puddle of blood and viscera that fell out of Wade after Logan withdrew his fist. Their bodies gridlocked, their tongues entwined.

...Now this is a truly devious tactic.

It's also working.

Wade melts over Logan, the claws sunk knuckle-deep in his pelvis pulling him back and forwards, grinding in counterpoint to the body beneath him. Shuddering, at the drag of Logan's regrowing cock through his dripping folds.

"Cheater," he accuses again, pulling away to gasp - but Logan only grunts a laugh.

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[foone]

Random thought brought on by seeing a veterinarian sign on the drive to Coffee Land, but I think Jesus would really appreciate people localizing his parable of the Good Samaritan.

Because, like, it's a good story, right? When the administrator-guy and the holy man wouldn't help the injured, the Samaritan went out of their way to make sure the injured man was able to get the help they needed, paid out of their own pocket. And that's good and all, but what even is a Samaritan? Do you know?

Well, they're a ethnoreligious group from northern Israel who follow Samaritanism, which split from Judaism sometime around the 11th century BCE. There's only about a thousand of them left. But around the time of Jesus, they were not very popular with your average Hebrew. Remember the Seleucid empire that was oppressing jews? There's a yearly celebration about it, involving a candle that lasted for 8 nights. Yeah. So at the time the Samaritans had taken the opportunity to point out they're not Jewish, they're Samaritans, so they wouldn't be persecuted. So they were seen as, like, selling out their brothers and sisters in the faith. Then by the time the Romans took over the whole area, the province of Judaea contained Samaria.

So basically the Jews and the seen-to-have-sold-them-out Samaritans were stuck in the same province, thanks to some Romans consolidating the areas they'd conquered. Tensions between the two groups were high, and I don't imagine either of them liked each other very much at all.

To a Jew of the first century CE, a Samaritan is basically the worst kind of person you could be, and that's exactly why Jesus used them in the parable of the Good Samaritan!

The parable isn't about Samaritans. It's about how the worst person you can imagine is a better person than the people you idolize and uplift, if that person takes care of their fellow man. It's about how you should love your neighbor as yourself, and who is your neighbor? Everyone. All people are your neighbors. Help them when they need help!

And that's why I say it should really be localized. You should tell this parable differently than it was told in AD 29 or whenever. Do you hate Samaritans? Probably not! You probably barely know who they are, even after I did some explaining up there. So why use them as your example? If Jesus was here, I don't think he would have done that.

So like, if you were giving a sermon on the good Samaritan in the 1960s to a white church, you should be like "so the policeman walked past, and the pastor walked past, but then a poor black guy saw the injured man, and got him help at the local hospital."

In the 80s, his rescuer is Soviet. In the 2000s, they're a Muslim, from Afghanistan or Iran.

Today? Maybe they're trans.

As an American, there's been many times that "Mexican" would have been the best choice. Maybe even today, especially if you specifically make them an undocumented migrant.

But yeah, the point is that you pick the group of people most hated by the audience you're talking to, and make the point that THEY ARE A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU and ALL THOSE YOU UPHOLD AS PILLARS OF THE COMMUNITY if they help their fellow man. If your worst enemy is lying injured in the street, you call the ambulance, you pay their doctor, you get them help. That's what Jesus says you should do. That's loving your neighbor, that's the Great Commandment.

And in the Roman province of Judea back in the first half of the first century, when talking to a Jewish audience, that meant the rescuer was a Samaritan helping a Jew. That was just the context for that one particular telling of the story. It shouldn't be told the same way today, or in the future. It should be an evolving parable, always changing, always adjusting the nationalities and situations and genders and everything. It's not a story about a specific event, it doesn't pretend to be history, it's a metaphorical lesson about what makes you a good person.

This parable is basically in the form of an "X, Y and Z walk into a bar" joke, and just like jokes, it should be updated over time. Those don't stay funny though the decades, as cultural attitudes shift. And this parable hasn't been updated in nearly two millenia, so it's long overdue.

[bonefall]

Bit of a random one but rereading the parable of the squirrels got me curious: how would clan cats (or just thunderclan in particular) view black/melanistic squirrels? Have any of them ever seen one? Im not sure how common they are in the uk, but i know they can be relatively prevalent in areas that have them sometimes

Black squirrels are nothing more than a simple morph! They get common in areas that have melanistic genes present as a result of simple genetic drift, though I've seen it proposed that black fur is an advantage in cold areas.

The gene is rare in the populations the Warriors come across, so they almost never see it. In spite of ShadowClan's unwillingness to control the gray squirrel population, ThunderClan is so aggressive about it that the pool stays shallow. Red Squirrels (pishkaf) do not have this gene. Only Gray Squirrels (chakchak) do.

So every time a black squirrel manages to occur, it's treated like a dire omen. Even ShadowClan takes it seriously.

Black as a color is associated with day and night cycles, because of Moon Shadow, Sun Shadow, and Shadowstar. Gray Squirrels are associated with war and benefit at the suffering of others. These things together herald great upheaval-- so cataclysmic that it would likely not be an "honorable conflict."

If you came to your Cleric with this omen, they would be struck with a look of terrible alarm. They'd be interested in its context, what it was doing, if it was eating anything, what its surroundings looked like. Someone like BB!Runningnose, interested in supporting Brokenstar's ambitions, might spin it as a positive sign.

Most Clerics would announce that the squirrel needs to be killed IMMEDIATELY, and launch a massive hunt to destroy it. What would come next would likely depend on the culture of the time, but for the most part I can imagine some sort of mass "purification" ritual. The whole Clan trying to identify how they can avoid the cataclysm, one of the few times where they see a glorious war as a bad thing.

The cat who kills the squirrel would likely earn an Honor Title. It's also very likely that the body of the animal is treated as a very powerful material-- burned to ash to prevent its use in forbidden magic or carefully preserved and made into something special, no in-between.

(Thinking about it... thanks for the idea I'll totally do this for Brokenstar's Cataclysm lmao. The sinew of the black squirrel is probably used to re-string Runny's acorn necklace.)

[try-set-me-on-fire]

The Parable of the Drunken Man

A short tale about Robert Nash and the devil himself, part of a longer tale that has not yet been written

The drunken man is already drunk when he stumbles up to the liquor store, which he probably should have figured out meant trouble, big trouble, should have been able to see the walls of the hole he’d dug for himself. But it's a sunny day — five o’clock nowhere, oh how deep, oh how deep — and he’s not thinking about much besides getting through the glass push door with the little jingle bell on the top. He makes it up all the steps and only stumbles once, bangs his hip on the railing fucking ow. He makes it through the door too, jingle jingle, hey, just like Christmas, that’s coming up, it’s getting cold. Ice box inside is cold, the big fridges are cold, he could grab some Fitgers like his daddy drank but they shuttered their doors in ‘72 and his dad was in the ground pretty soon after — the hole, the hole — and anyway what’s beer gonna do. The drunken man needs something from one of the shelves up behind the counter, warm in its bottle, strong as paint stripper. And the clerk knows him — can’t you hear the shovel — and he doesn’t even really have to ask, just points and the bottle comes to him, presto magic. And then the drunken man pats his pockets and there’s nothing in this one, nothing in that one, not in his coat, not in his jeans, empty empty empty.

“I’m good for it,” he says, “You know I am, come on.���

“Sorry, Bobby,” the clerk says, and to his credit his eyes are sad.

When the stranger says “I can cover for you,” only a step from his side the drunken man is surprised. He didn’t think anyone else was in the store. He didn’t hear the bell jingle jingle. And this guy, this stranger, he’s in a suit, a real nice suit, nothing like piss poor piss drunk pissed off clientele that usually graces these fluorescent lit halls. But the drunken man wants his drink so he shrugs.

“Sure. Mighty kind of you. I owe you one.”

The stranger has a smile that’s real wide. His teeth are all straight. “Do you now? And what might that be?”

The drunken man glances at the shelf behind the counter. “$17.95.”

That stranger makes a sound that must be a laugh because the drunken man doesn’t know what else it would be. “That’s not a very interesting deal, Bobby.”

If he stays out too long there’s people who’re gonna be mad at him, can’t he fucking wrap this up? The drunken man glances at the clerk. The bottle is there in his hand. “What do you have in mind?” He wonders for a moment what the stranger will ask, what he might be willing to give. He’s not that desperate. He has some Johnny Walker at home, he’s pretty sure. It’ll be harder to get to it around Marcy, but he could manage. If this is a sex thing, he can just say no.

The stranger shrugs. “What would you give for a drink, right now?”

The drunken man’s shoulders shiver a bit, he’s not sure why. It’s what he’d just been thinking, but, whatever, coincidence. “I- I don’t know.”

“Would you give up your apartment? Your whole floor?”

The drunken man laughs. “I don’t own my whole floor, man, I don’t even own my fucking apartment.” They’d owned the house but the medical bills had stacked up and up and up and the drunken man had dug down and down and down until the difference had been too great to ever balance out again.

All those teeth. “But would you give it? All the people in it? Trade them, right here and now?”

The drunken man is just kind of annoyed. This guy, this out of towner, fucking with him. “Sure. Yeah, and the whole rest of the building, too.”

“Now there’s a deal,” the stranger laughs again, slaps the drunken man hard enough on the back it hurts, it bruises, it’s yellow on his shoulder when he goes to work on Monday and no one even bats an eyelash that’s he’s fucked himself up in some new little way. He hands the clerk a handful of cash — more than $17.95 it seems to the drunken man’s eyes — and the clerk hands over the bottle with uneasy eye contact and then the drunken man leaves, goes home, swigs once twice in the parking lot before heading up to the roof and stashing the bottle and heading back downstairs and in to his wife and his daughter and his son, cheeks red from the cold and other things, and he wasn’t too late — too late, oh he’s too late — and they all eat dinner together.

Exactly one month later, the building goes up in flames. He’s drunk on the roof. He was high in an empty room, with a space heater plugged into the wall. The hole is deep and he doesn’t even have the grace to die at the bottom of it, next to the tiny bodies of his children, next to burnt living corpse of his wife. And now he’s sleeping in a motel his brother paid for but he’s not sleeping there, he’s trying to drink himself to death in the parking lot out back when he sees the stranger again, in the nice suit, still all his straight teeth showing.

“Was it you?” The drunken man hollers. “Was it you? Did you do this? Did you make this happen?” He’s throwing the bottle, he’s grabbing the front of that too nice suit and the guy is just smiling, just fucking grinning, big and pleased as a cat with all the cream.

“You were always gonna burn that building, Bobby,” he says, and his tone of voice, there’s something about it that’s true, there’s something about it that’s impossible not to believe. “That’s how that night was always going to go.”

“Then what- then why-”

“You just gave me permission to collect.” The drunken man hadn’t thought the stranger was taller than him, but he leers down at him now.

Like Bobby knows he was telling the truth, he knows he’s not talking about, whatever, an insurance payout. “What did I- what did I give you?”

“Souls, Bobby. You traded all their souls. And for such a grand prize.” And the stranger held up his hand, and in it was a bottle of Devil’s Springs, 151 proof.

The motel day shift front desk girl finds him there in the morning, half frozen, laying in a mess of broken glass.

[autistichalsin]

All dialogue options for Halsin's request for a story for the children in the epilogue

There are generic options, unique options for Durges, each Origin, and even for Origin paths (I.E. Justiciar Shadowheart vs Selune path Shadowheart) so I thought I'd collect them all here! There are some nice characterization moments here, and I love Halsin's reactions to some of these. (Also, I had no idea Gale could still ascend to godhood as a mindflayer? Or at least there's dialogue for it here...) I hope you guys enjoys these!

All characters/Tav:

Regale Halsin with tales of your past six months.

Halsin: You have kept yourself busy - I expected no less, in truth. I shall be able to keep the children enthralled for a few more nights yet, thanks to you. And should you wish to retell of your exploits in person? Well, I shall not object to a night off.

All characters/Tav:

The truth may be a little flat. Spice it up a little. (This triggers a skill roll for deception)

If the roll succeeds:

Halsin: You are truly incapable of disappointing. The children shall be rapt - and have no fear; all due credit shall be given to the tale's originator.

If the roll fails:

Halsin: Hmm, do I detect a certain... exaggeration? You could give Master Geddarm a run for his gold - though I suppose he has little need for it now, Oak Father bless him. In any case, my audience will favour a good tale over veracity any day - I thank you for your offering.

Any character who accompanied Karlach to Avernus:

Halsin: I am glad you and Karlach have an enduring friendship - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Any player who became a mindflayer:

My exploits have been limited by my new form. I live as a pariah, feared by most.

Halsin: Yet not by me. I shall tell the children of your heroism and sacrifice. They shall know what they owe to you, trust me.

Mindflayer characters who have plans with the Emperor:

I have been dwelling far from the public eye. Yet the Emperor and I have grand plans in motion - that I cannot speak of.

Halsin: Too murky for a children's tale, I fear. Perhaps I should focus on the hero you were, and the sacrifice you made. But thank you for sharing, nonetheless.

Mind flayer characters who are allied with the Emperor:

My new form demands discretion. I have been amassing power in the shadows with my ally, the emperor.

Halsin: I see. Perhaps the children can learn something from your ambition in the face of adversity. Thank you.

Mindflayer characters who killed the Emperor:

My exploits have been limited by my new form. I live as a pariah, feared by most.

Halsin: And with an appetite for the grey ambrosia that dwells within every skull, I presume? Perhaps I shall remind the children of your heroism and self-sacrifice... and skip over the brain-eating until they are older.

Dragonborn Dark Urge:

How about a ghost story? A spectral dragon who will haunt the little ones' dreams, if they don't behave.,

Halsin: Most enthralling - though perhaps it may lead to some sleepless nights for the younger ones. I can make something palatable with a little showmanship and creative licence - thank you.

Any Dark Urge:

Tell Halsin a detective story, where in the end, the intrepid Fist discovers they had been committing the murders all along.

Halsin: A touch bleak perhaps, but considering the amount of orphans in my audience, I am sure they shall manage. I can make something palatable with a little showmanship and creative licence - thank you.

God Gale:

Recall the parable of the Yearning Orphan, your youngest follower and already a great prophet spreading your doctrine...

Halsin: You are truly incapable of disappointing. The children shall be rapt - and have no fear; all due credit shall be given to the tale's originator.

Also God Gale:

Tell him of the tribulations of godhood. The politics, the bureaucracy, the endless prayers to answer...

Halsin: Well luckily for you, mortals have a habit of embellishing their run-ins with gods... I am sure I can muster something to captivate the children from what I can glean of you.

God Gale:

Well, I have developed a taste for togas, for one thing.

Halsin: I am glad you have kept yourself occupied. No doubt I will be able to spin a few yarns from the children from this. Thank you.

Mindflayer God Gale:

Well, I've been doing my best to not frighten my followers. I'd hate to be one of those gods.

Halsin: I am glad you have kept yourself occupied. No doubt I will be able to spin a few yarns from the children from this. Thank you.

Non-god Gale who went back to Waterdeep:

I've been researching the tale of the first Blackstaff, Khelben Arunsun. My abridged notes would make for a fascinating bedtime story.

Halsin: I see... well I trust your sources, of course. Perhaps the historical record can survive an embellishment or two, for the sake of the children. In any case, you have my gratitude.

Non-god Gale who didn't return to Waterdeep:

What haven't I done? Delved into dungeons, read secret tomes, taken out a rogue shadow mage or two. Enough magic and mystery for a treasury of tales.

Halsin: Why, Master Dekarios, I had no idea you would continue to stoke the fires of adventure. I commend you - as shall the children, once they hear of your exploits. Thank you.

Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

Tell Halsin of how you consolidated your power over Lady Shar's church, purging the disloyal with bloody vigor.

Halsin: My. Perhaps a tale for the older children, once I trim off a few of the... less savoury details. But thank you, all the same.

Also Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

I have been continuing to serve Lady Shar however I can.

Halsin: You are stalwart, even in service of darkness. There will be a lesson there for me to impart to the children... with a few details glossed over, perhaps. Thank you.

Selune path Shadowheart who killed her parents:

Tell Halsin of how you've roamed far and wide, now that you are free of Shar.

Halsin: The shadows were concealing a true adventurer's heart then. Thank you - the children shall be rapt.

Shadowheart whose parents are alive, whether Selune path or Dark Justiciar:

Regale Halsin with tales of your tranquil life with your family and coterie of animals.

Halsin: Yes, I thought I caught the scent of a wolf upon the wind... the children shall love this, but be warned - they may insist upon a visit.

Selune path Shadowheart:

I have been forging my own path, away from Shar's influence.

Halsin: I shall be honoured to speak of you to the children. To embrace change as you have shall make for a stirring example. Thank you.

Any path Shadowheart:

I've been at something of a loose end - roaming and adventuring as I see fit.

Halsin: Countless tales have begun with a roaming adventurer - I am sure I shall keep the children enthralled for years to come with your exploits. Thank you.

Orpheus path Lae'zel:

I have ridden a red dragon to battle as a Warrior of the Comet. The lich queen Vlaakith will fall by my hand.

Halsin: Oak Father preserve you - I hope you have a tight hold on the beast. But this shall make for a most stirring tale for the children. I may even have to tone down the details, for fear they get too excited...

Lae'zel who stayed in Faerun:

I have travelled the harshest lands of the Sword Coast, piercing the hearts of the lich queen's countless assassins.

Halsin: Ha! I think some of the more bloodthirsty children will relish this, thank you.

Wyll who became a Grand Duke and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

I embraced my hellish side and dedicated my life to rebuilding the grand city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: The makings of the multi-night epic. The children shall rush to their bunks in order to hear the next chapter, thank you.

Wyll who became a Grand Duke but didn't continue his pact with Mizora:

I turned from my hellish past and dedicated my life to rebuilding the grand city of Baldur's Gate.

Halsin: A noble calling. Your tale shall inspire a whole generation. Thank you.

Wyll who stayed the Blade of Frontiers and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

The Sword Coast is safe as ever thanks to the Blade and his infernal powers.

Halsin: The classic tale of the Blade, but with a twist? This shall go down very well with the children, I sense. Thank you.

Wyll who stayed the Blade of Frontiers and ended his pact with Mizora:

The Blade of Frontiers is back on the hunt. The Sword Coast is safe as ever.

Halsin: Many of the children have already heard of you, as it were - do you know some of them scarcely even believe this old bear could be acquainted with such a hero? But the authentic sense that your recollections bring to the tale shall win them over, no doubt. Thank you.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus and made an eternal pact with Mizora:

No hellbeast is safe from the Blade of Avernus and his infernal powers.

Halsin: Thank you, the children shall be agog. I do believe some of them use the number of beastly fangs and claws present in a tale as the yardstick for its quality - which puts yours right at the top of the heap.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus and but ended his pact with Mizora:

The Blade of Avernus is on the hunt. The Hells shudder at the very mention of his name.

Halsin: A classic tale. I expect it shall inspire more than a few of the children to start practising their ripostes with wooden sticks.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus, made an eternal pact with Mizora, and went to Avernus with Karlach:

The Blade of Avernus and his companion are on the hunt. No hellbeast is safe from his infernal powers.

Halsin: A formidable duo. I am glad that you and Karlach have each other - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Wyll who became the Blade of Avernus, did not make an eternal pact with Mizora, and went to Avernus with Karlach:

The Blade of Avernus and his companion are on the hunt. The Hells shudder at the very mention of his name.

Halsin: I am glad you and Karlach have an enduring friendship - it shall serve as a strong lesson for the children, as well as a stirring tale.

Astarion who didn't ascend, but defeated Cazador:

I've been revelling in my freedom, rediscovering the joys of the night.

Halsin: Sanguine joys, no doubt? Perhaps I shall smoothen out some of those details - the children do not need to know the full truth of your diet. But they shall be rapt all the same, thank you.

Astarion who didn't defeat Cazador:

Halsin, I've been hiding in sewers and eating rats. It's not a glorious tale.

Halsin: Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling. The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely. They shall appreciate your story, trust me.

Astarion who didn't defeat Cazador and became a mindflayer:

Halsin, I've been hiding in sewers and eating rats' brains. It's not a glorious tale.

Halsin: Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling. The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely. They shall appreciate your story, trust me.

Ascended Astarion:

My tales are a little heavy on murder and sex. But if the children want to hear them...

Halsin: Hmm. Perhaps I can substitute the bloodlust and... eh, general lust for cuddles and animals in the retelling. The children may be confused, but no matter - they will soon be asleep. Even with a few little white lies, rest assured that they shall be engrossed. Thank you.

Ascended Astarion who became a mindflayer:

My tales are a little heavy on murder, sex, and tentacles. But if the children want to hear them...

Halsin: Hmm. Perhaps I can substitute the bloodlust and... eh, general lust for cuddles and animals in the retelling. The children may be confused, but no matter - they will soon be asleep. Even with a few little white lies, rest assured that they shall be engrossed. Thank you.

Karlach who went to Avernus alone:

Tell him of how you lost your horn.

Halsin: Truly? I never would have guessed that is what happened. And to think I believed I had the measure of you... but I am glad to be wrong - the children shall be captivated.