#[ it’s really. not for me! but still we persist!!! ]

[syntheticcharmva]

I and my family are facing a crisis I never saw coming. My father has turned his back on us, and I'm terrified of what's next. I still need to escape this situation. Please, if you can, share or donate. Every bit helps even just a dollar, if enough people see, it adds up. I hope you can forgive me the near spam posting... but this stuff usually only succeeds if you're persistant about it, and whilte I look for every possible way to do it on my own, I really have to reach out to the community. Thanks to you all we got 6 percent of the goal

In 2 days, that's wild... from the bottom of my heart this means so much. but I really hope we can get out of this awful position we were so suddenly put in. 10k and 20k are gonna be a big help if we hopefully reach that far, but I know 30k will make it so we can actually leave this awful situation safe and sound without massive sacrifices. we've got pets we care for deeply, they're family, and he doesn't even consider that... this man has never cared for us though he claims otherwise, and now threatens us with pulling the one supportive thing he agreed to supply from under us at a pivitol moment in all our lives. I'm sad, angery, depressed, and oh so very tired... I'm sorry for the ramble, but I have been unable to sleep the past few nights because of the anxiety this has caused within me. I want to thank you all again for sharing, for donating, even just the well wishes helps a lot. you have all been wonderful, and I can't thank you enough. This has eased at least some of the immediate fear, but we're still a long way off from safety.

[lgbtpopcult]

Ranking the Top 10 GL Series of 2024

10. My marvelous Dream is You

A highly expected gl from Idol Factory that fell short of our expectations not for lack of chemistry from its love team (they in fact had some of the best chemistry in the industry) but because of the bad writing. The writing simply didn't allow the story to flourish. The couple spent most of the series apart, and we don't mean simply not in a relationship. They hardly spend any time together at all, and when they did, there were no romantic moments happening most of the time. What saved the series was its couple that sold the rare moments they had together really well. No surprise that they're dating in real life.

9. Apple My Love

Short and sweet, this story was a fun little romcom that fulfilled its purpose well. The couple needed to prove themselves as a love team, and they did. Happy to know they got a new series out of it.

8. Petrichor

For the people who had heard of Englot but had only seen them as a love team on Show Me Love, their popularity remained a mystery until this series. This police drama/romance has been good enough to prove they may not be the team with the best chemistry out there, but they're definitely not completely deprived of it like Show Me Love made us think. The series itself is interesting if you like your romance in small doses amidst the action.

7. Blank The Series

Here comes the controversy. One of the most successful and also controversial series of the year. We have to acknowledge that unlike what some fans would like us to believe the problem was not in the age difference per say but in the fact that one of them was 21 and initially very immature for her age. However, she was not underage, she was not unintelligent, and she had agency. She was the one who persistently pursued the relationship. The story was exciting and passionate. Also, mommy issues sell.

6. 23.5

A series that gave milklove, a much beloved love team, its chance to shine. It was a sweet high school romance that was enjoyable for most people and had some great highs. Its jealousy episode was one of the best around, and both of the admins here in lgbtpopcult are willing to die on that heel. It did, however, have the limitations of an innocent high school romance. A lot of time was dedicated to side characters and the couple could not be shown in a more mature relationship. Still, a good time!

5. Mate the Series

It is endlessly entertaining to watch Gen and Aoey interact. The perfect ice queen, rich girl that wanted to only be with the perfect man (somehow nobody was ever the perfect man) trying to resist her innocent, tempting friend. They are funny and sweet and passionate at the same time. The series does a good job of focusing on their relationship with little interest in anything else

4. The Loyal Pin

This production, supported by the Thai ministry of culture, definitely deserves its spot at number 4. At 16 episodes and with great production value, it is a journey through time that not only shows us the love story between two women but also the food, dance, and customs of the country of Thailand. The love story itself did a good job of remaining entertaining by inserting some jealousy and lots of obstacles in the course of the couple.

3. Affair the Series

A fierce debate broke out amongst us about whether this series would occupy the third or the second place in this list. You see half of it, the second half, was so incredibly good. The push and pull of a couple with exploding chemistry while they lived together. The obsession Wan had with Pleng. The amazing love scenes. But the first part of the series dragged it down. The chemistry was there from the beginning but they spend too much time in the past when the leads were young, and one of them was pushing the other to be with a guy just to avoid her feelings. That part wasn't bad, It had its moments, but it was at times frustrating and too long. A great series nonetheless.

2. Pluto

This series has it all. A love team with great chemistry, an interesting plot, good acting, and quality writing. It did not only show us an exciting romance but addressed issues of disability and even teased a throuple (through a side couple don't worry the mains are as crazy in love as gl couples should be). Insert some surprising twists and turns and it's a go!

1. The Secret of Us

The number 1 spot could go to no other series. It wasn't even a debate. Lingorm, the love team comprised of Ling and Orm, was tasked with proving a gl can go toe to toe with straight romance series on a major Thai network. They knocked it out the park! The Secret of Us was super successful. Throughout its run, it remained in the top 10 of Netflix in Thailand and the other Asian countries it was available in. It frequently occupied the number 1 spot, and its numbers on the network's own streaming app surpassed those of its straight counterparts. There was a reason for all of that. The story was a very popular romance trope (angry ex vs. regretful ex) done right, the chemistry of the love team was enticing and both main characters were infinitely charming. We all fell in love.

[itsrlymine]

success story!! ❄️

i absolutely love your page and i thought i’d share my most recent manifestation

so i manifested me and my SP talking again, let’s call him john.

so me and john got together late 2022 and broke up the summer of 2023 on bad terms. we went no contact for over a year, i got into another relationship (that failed 😭) but i was still always thinking about him.

one day i decided i wanted to talk to him again, i also wanted to know from his pov why we broke up and why it was so messy

so i affirmed. i didn’t do the same affirmations all the time but it was mainly “John and i are talking again” “John can stop thinking about me” “John wants to make things right with me” etc

i stayed pretty disciplined i never really had a lot of opposing thoughts but whenever i did i quickly flipped them into something positive

and after a week and a half of me staying persistent and affirming he texted me and said

“I cant stop thinking about you, I miss you”

WHEN I TELL YALL I WAS GRINNING FROM EAR TO EAR GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET LMAAO I WAS SO EXCITED

we talked about the break up and he was very regretful about how he handled that situation and now we’re talking again—we’ve been texting everyday, calling all the time, got to speak to his mom again EVEN HIS FAMILY SAID THEY MISSED ME LIKEEEEE

but thank you for your posts you and Taylor Tookes motivate me sm, love you!

-❄️

Awe babe this is so cute I love thisss🥹💗all you have to decide and boom you get what you want!!! People reflect the stories that we tell no matter how we may feel!

I’m glad my posts have been of some help! I haven’t really watched that much of her content but from what I’ve seen, she eats down as well.

[weaselandfriends]

The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen: Some Notes

Yesterday, I finished The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, the new novel by @nostalgebraist. It's a dense and at times difficult work, like much of Nostalgebraist's output, and I don't immediately have some overarching narrativized analysis of it. I do have some thoughts, though (includes spoilers):

Temporal Setting

Herschel Schoen is set almost entirely in New York City; that's made abundantly clear. The question is when this story is set, which is impossible to pin down and subject to a lot of contradictory details. For instance:

Frederick claims his daddy knows "Moses," i.e. Robert Moses

Damien Eggert developed technology during the "last war," supposedly World War II

Marshall McLuhan is being taught by a college professor as though he is a cutting edge new theorist

Miriam watches a box television set with antennae, and has a particular fixation on sitcoms

Herschel frequently listens to the radio

Miriam is typing her account on a typewriter

These facts point toward a 1960s or 1970s setting, but then you get facts that point to a more modern setting:

Miriam watches Vincent's "video essays" on an ambiguously-identified handheld device with a "knob"

Herschel encounters two men on the subway who appear to be talking using cell phones or Bluetooth headsets, in modern jargon ("He needs to be leveraging the new dataviz tools, pronto")

Herschel sees what appears to be a flock of drones in New York Harbor

Frederick and Damien's technology seems to operate like modern AI technology

There are also numerous references to Damien's colleagues, who seem to be real scientists or AI researchers of disparate time periods, but with whom I'm not familiar enough to temporally distinguish.

This temporal confusion leads to strange oddities like Damien using scans of physical books from real libraries to train his AI machines, rather than, say, any sort of internet resource. There is no reference to the internet existing at all and Herschel seems incapable of comprehending that the men on the subway are using cell phones (saying they're talking to themselves), though Herschel didn't even know who Santa was so it's not as though he's a paragon of the bleeding edge. Still, these confusions persist in Miriam's perspective chapters, and while she's not exactly the most reliable narrator herself, she's at least wise to the basics of the world in a way Herschel is not.

Spatial Setting

At the same time, there are some spatial oddities to the setting, especially on the one occasion the story leaves NYC and goes to Portland, Oregon. Portland is described bizarrely:

Through the window of the bus, I watched the low, crouching buildings of Portland, Oregon advancing and receding. It was an ever stranger place than I had expected. It did not really look like my idea of a city at all, come to think of it. [...] “Are you sure this is really Portland, Oregon?” I said, as we walked along the street. He laughed uncomfortably. “They don’t really look like buildings at all,” I said. [...] Its exterior was strangely squat, like all the other “buildings” of this “city,” and curiously round, like they were. Like them, it looked very, very old. And its interior was strangely spacious, with an extensive and cavernous basement.

West Coast homes rarely have basements, if the more overt strangeness of the city's presentation wasn't clear already. Furthermore, despite living in squalid poverty, Vincent's home has two kitchens. Even most mansions wouldn't have two kitchens.

There is also the spatial oddity of the Schoen's apartment. Miriam describes it, in Chapter 166

She didn’t look at Herschel, or at me.  She turned toward the inner side of the living room, the side with the doors that lead to the bedrooms and the bathroom and the kitchen.

Later, in Chapter 21, Herschel affirms:

I looked, to try to catch sight of the gift-box that was mine. It was difficult to make out, for the Intercessor was already striding across the room, towards the wall of doors. I thought I spied some sort of box under his arm, fluttering in the changing shadows. But I cannot say for sure. He reached the wall of doors. He stopped, before a particular door. I knew he had selected that door, singled it out, in full awareness of what lay behind it. “May I go in?” he asked, with the utmost politeness. As though he were only a common houseguest, and not the king of the universe. “Go in?” I said, with the utmost simplicity. “To my . . bedroom?”

Can you try to imagine this layout? The Schoen apartment has a living room, and then there is one wall of doors, and those doors lead into two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen.

There is also a living room balcony, as well as windows in the kitchen. So we're looking at a layout that might be like this:

This is already a strange layout on its own, but gets stranger when you consider that the apartment is a brownstone:

He was real, he was a boy, I was his sister, we did live on earth, in a dusty little two-bedroom brownstone apartment in Flatbush, with too many drawers in the kitchen, we were always losing things in those drawers

Brownstones are townhouse apartments. They usually have a small and narrow footprint with multiple floors, like so:

(For reference, this is a layout of a brownstone in Brooklyn, which is where the Schoens live.)

It's difficult for me to imagine how you can cram the Schoen's apartment's layout into a footprint like this. This doesn't even account for the fact that there is apparently an elevator that the Schoens take to reach their apartment:

I rode the elevator, crossing the many floors that separated my home from the earth below it.

Brownstones are usually converted single-residence homes. They are usually not that tall and usually don't even have elevators.

What's interesting is that, even in light of these spatial oddities, the layout of New York City is depicted, as far as I can tell, highly accurately, even down to the trains Herschel takes to get around the city.

There's another oddity I'd like to talk about here, though I pointed it out to Nostalgebraist and it turned out to be a mistake. Frederick is said to attend Midwood High School (which is a real school), but there's a scene in Ch 17 where the school starts being randomly referred to as Midway instead of Midwood. I was hoping this might be some VALIS-style flashback delusion to the Battle of Midway overlapping with the real world, but alas. The error has since been corrected.

Though I also wonder what this line is about:

I would scale the walls of Yankee Stadium, and peer into its maw, seeing the true face of my Adversary within it!

What the hell does he think is in Yankee Stadium?

Herschel's Physical Body

In Ch 16, Herschel's mother Ruth beats Herschel several times with a frying pan.

This scene is bizarre for a few reasons. First off, the perspective character, Miriam, NEVER SEES Herschel being beaten. She always closes her eyes and only hears the sound of him being beaten.

Secondly, this isn't being hit with a belt, or punched. This is being hit with a frying pan. Herschel seemingly takes no serious damage from this. He does not refer to it in his own writings and is apparently up and about the next week.

Did this actually happen?

Another odd thing: Herschel's height. Take this passage, after Madeleine steals his paper crown:

My arms were not as long as Madeleine’s, and she was much taller than me, as well. In order to reach her scalp and recapture what was mine, I would need to come closer to her, and elevate myself as well. I began to climb up onto the surface of the table.

Herschel is supposedly 16. Madeleine is a high school student, so at most two years older than him, and also a girl. While it's entirely possible she's taller than Herschel, it wouldn't be "much" taller, certainly not so tall that Herschel needs to climb onto a table to reach her head.

At the same time, the way Herschel is described relative to Frederick is bizarre. Frederick is described as older than Herschel, but still in high school, so again he is at most two years older than Herschel. What is the meaning, then, of this bizarre exchange with Mrs. Rachel?

“I have a friend,” I said. “Frederick Eggert,” I said, “is my friend.” “Yes,” Mrs. Rachel said, “and that’s a good thing, Herschel. I’m very glad you’ve been able to form that bond. It’s very encouraging, developmentally. Especially in light of all this other . . . context . . . which is, well, not so encouraging. “But now, Herschel — you’re so careful with words, I’m sure you noticed that I said peers, I said forming relationships with your peers. “And Frederick Eggert, ha, well, he’s not exactly your peer, now is he?”

Is this a reference to the economic disparity between them? Why, though, would that matter to Mrs. Rachel as a developmental psychologist? Why does Frederick constantly use the infantile term "daddy" to refer to his father?

Herschel also can't tie his own shoes, though that might be a developmental issue.

The strangeness of Herschel's body interests me because it is, ultimately, his body that divides him from the Intercessor:

The Intercessor’s exit was unceremonious, when it did come. At some point, after many hours at the kitchen table, he suddenly began to make a curious show of himself, plying me with a variety of sententious and vaguely valedictory utterances.  I could not see what he was driving at, and I was afraid of asking him directly about it. I was in my body, and it had its ways. And so, at one point, I found that I had to leave the game table, in order to use the bathroom. I was only in that room very briefly.  But when I returned to the kitchen, I saw that its window was starting to glow with the first hints of the dawn. And when I looked around my home, under that dawning light, I saw that there was no Santa Claus there, and no steeds or sleigh.  He had simply vanished, and I was alone.

Though I wonder, if we presume Herschel to have a "real" body during Of Nativity, how is he shown all the things he is shown? How is he transported to space to see the Intercessor's true body? Is it a hallucination? An image projected on his ceiling? It's not described that way.

Frame Narrative

There are strange elements of the frame narrative, too. Ostensibly, Miriam Schoen is collecting Herschel Schoen's papers and adding her own narrative to it, all for the benefit of an audience of "devotees":

I did not think about my little brother’s flock of devotees, clamoring for a properly dignified print edition of his “papers,” and demanding of his poor sister that she cough up every bit of family trivia she could remember that in any way impinged upon their prophet, the messiah. Because – how could my little brother have such followers? When he is only a little boy – a poor, sad, crazy little boy?

Miriam Schoen supposedly left NYC for Portland on December 24, carrying with her many of Herschel's papers. However, this doesn't explain how Of Nativity, Herschel's self-written account of the events of December 25, ended up in her possession.

A few other strange aspects of the frame narrative:

Why does Miriam refer to herself as a Redactor? (And labels all of her chapters "Redactor's Preface"?) What is she redacting, exactly?

Why does the Intercessor's Preface exist? Did Miriam put this here? Did the AI?

Why does She of High Mind exist? Herschel gives an account of the order of his December Chronicle, and She of High Mind is never mentioned. The chapter is the most incoherent in the entire story, with passages omitted due to illegibility. Miriam marks these omissions with "MS," suggesting she is in fact the one editing this chapter, but there is no explanation given for its existence. Tonally and with the capitalization of words it matches the small excerpt Madeleine reads on Herschel's paper crown. How did Miriam get this and why did she include it?

Of course, there's also the fact that in the final chapter, Miriam mentions she doesn't remember when, how, or why she has the typewriter she's using to create the account.

Who are Herschel's devotees? His prophesies of doom go unheard in his life. Are they the AI that supposedly went back in time 10,000s of years to ask for his assent?

Likewise, I wonder when the Revelator's Preface was written, and who the "you" in it being addressed truly is.

Incest and Sexuality

Madeleine teases Herschel once, so he immediately has to masturbate. Right after this scene, Herschel goes out and angrily confronts Miriam:

“I have learned,” I said, “what it is that the men of the earth call coupling and fruitfulness.” She turned her head, slightly. “I know,” I said spitefully, “what it is that you and Vincent share, that you do not share with me.”

Which leads to this exchange:

“My, my,” she said, in a merry daze. “My little brother’s growing up, isn’t he?” she said. The rhetorical question, and the sickly sweetness that dripped from its edges, reminded me equally of Mrs. Rachel and of Madeleine. Why, why, do you torment me so? My Sister, Miriam Schoen, why do you torment me so?

Herschel will continue to conflate Miriam and Madeleine throughout the story, especially in She of High Mind:

And SHE ATE the grass of the field, and ATE also the fragrant DATES growing from the PALMS of the field, and thus was SHE made MADELEINGIAN, and [lettering becomes increasing difficult to make out -MS] was made clamored [? -MS] and manyful [? -MS] and [rest of paragraph wholly illegible -MS]

She of High Mind is crammed full of weird, Freudian sexual imagery throughout, involving SEEDS and such. I find the conflating of the female figures in Herschel's life (he also, at one point in She of High Mind, describes his sister as becoming RACHELLINE) interesting in the context of Herschel's abhorrence toward substitution and pattern.

She of High Mind also begins with this line:

Then forthwith SHE went down from her virginity, and went down unto the SUNDERING FIELD.

Virginia, whose letter about Christmas Herschel reads, is a figure of extreme importance to Herschel; later, he uses her as a SUBSTITUTE for the virgin ant queen in the story's climax.

Comedy

Miriam describes Herschel as a "laugh riot," explaining this as something nobody understands about him, something she wants people to understand. Herschel describes Santa as a master of parody, who laughs at the absurd.

Herschel will later consider it a similarly absurd joke for the thousandmade forms to have interest in him, and wish for him to understand them:

For – although he was made in divine image – he is a lesser thing than his imager.  Even his virtues were fashioned for the sake of their eventual failure, and his strength for the moment when, at last, he is laid low and broken.  Thus does man’s maker glorify and sanctify Himself through His creature, which He has fashioned in order to prove itself great, and then to prove itself inferior to Him. But the ones that were assembled here, watching me, did not resemble man in any way whatsoever. It did not seem right, the way that they were watching me.  I ought to have been entirely beneath their notice.  The notion that they had taken an interest in me was a disquieting one, for I felt that it demeaned and devalued their exalted nature. But they had taken an interest in me. They were tremendously interested in me. And they were not only interested in studying me, from a distance, for their own “purposes.’” No: they wished for me to know them, as well. This wish of theirs was absurd, of course.  It was laughable.  It was what men call a very good joke.

Meanwhile, there's also an emphasis on bad comedy: the things that are "like jokes" in sitcoms but that aren't funny, as well as Damien Eggert's profusion of cliches that are said as though they're supposed to be funny but aren't.

Ho, ho, ho is a laugh.

Plaitings and Fleurons

This unique phrase appears twice:

As a little girl I liked to draw. I don’t, anymore, though. I drew shapes, rather than pictures. Spirals, nested rings, lace-like plaitings and fleurons. That sort of thing.

Much later, referring to Vincent's video essay setup:

I saw the green-on-green wallpaper behind the man. I saw its green plaitings and greener fleurons, nested, nestling.  I fell backward, smiling, into that lace fairyland.

These are, of course, patterns. And patterns are a motif of crucial importance throughout this story. The whole story seems to be built around them, with reflections and similarities across Herschel and Miriam's narratives. (Herschel as a prophet versus Vincent as a prophet, Miriam and Herschel both cowardly refusing to watch violence and battles or the oncoming wave, sitcoms and Damien's cliches, and so on.)

I have more thoughts, including some observations about how it is hearing the Intercessor copy his own voice that causes Herschel to change his mind about its truth (and also how the Intercessor demonstrating it can copy Herschel and Miriam's voices makes one wonder how much of this narrative was written by them and how much by the Intercessor), the similarities between the ships Herschel sees in the harbor and the true form of the Intercessor (red and green and white), and the similarities between a lot of how Herschel describes the ants at the end and elements of Herschel's own narrative. Is Herschel just a creation of the AI, like Virginia the Ant, intended to retroactively justify its own existence? Is this how "time travel" was accomplished, why space and time are so strange, why so many elements of the story don't cohere perfectly logically? I'm not sure. I don't have a complete idea of the story yet. This post was mostly meant to be a collection of observations I had, to continue to think about. Maybe some other readers have a few ideas about what these things mean?

[marchwardenofmordor]

Since people liked my post about the new Nosferatu film, I’m gonna go a little more in depth about some of the things that REALLY stood out to me

- The sound design of his voice and the blood drinking: a fucking genius choice. Each horrific rattling inhale before he speaks and the way he trails off at the end of his sentences because he’s manually breathing for the EXPRESS PURPOSE OF SPEAKING. That monotone is fucking perfect because he sound like the air is being squeezed out of him with each word. The monstrous gulping and slurping as he drinks blood is great because it sounds equal parts disgusting and sexual.

- I think, as a personification of shame, that he is SUPPOSED to make you want to crawl out of your own skin. The moaning, the nudity, the squelchy sounds… if you went to the cinema to see it, I think the idea was to make you blush and perhaps have a bit of a bodily reaction that would have you glancing around at other people in embarrassment. Not everybody is going to want him, but he will tap into the shame of witnessing something sexual in public. If we take the particular time period the film is set in, too, I think he’s supposed to have us clutching our pearls, making us collectively hearken back to the victorian attitudes towards sex and shame.

- You know what else is great about putting us in that mindset as an audience? It makes us remember that talking about sex and death are still considered shameful and taboo - the Victorian period really wasn’t that long ago, and some aspects of that history still casts its shadow of shame over us. But as ashamed as we are, we’re also curious creatures.

- Sex and death are very closely linked. Again, a little death being a term for an orgasm, the fact that indole is a chemical that both repels and attracts us (the scent is commonly used in perfumery, and in small amounts, smells alluring and seductive, like white florals, or the literal smell of sex, but in large concentrations smells fucking rancid, like rotting bodies). When we die, our brains release a rush of endorphins, etc. Dead bodies have a ‘sweet’ smell before they begin rotting - again, that’s probably indole, and would explain some of the subconscious urges of a necrophiliac.

- He is also called ‘death’ multiple times, and we know that a little fraction of his power is bringing ‘la petit mort’ (a little death / orgasm) to his victims.

- Even rats are symbolic here of sex, death and disease: we know terms like ‘multiplying like rats’ obviously, and how rats are symbolic of the plague (even though it was the fleas that caused it). The presence of the rats and the cries of townsfolk about ‘disease’ and ‘plague’ are less like the actual literal plague, and - considering that Orlok is ‘shame’ - more like a metaphorical miasma sweeping through victorian society, reinforcing ideas of shame and purity and what is or is not proper.

- Bodily fluids!! There are tears, there’s cum, considering the rats (again) there’s excrement (also on the walls of the cell in the asylum??), and with the Renfield-type character there’s also saliva. This isn’t just for shock/horror - the main fluid shown is blood, and in the mindset of a victorian christian (historically, blood transfusions could only really be shared between a man and a woman who were married because blood was a life-giving bodily fluid likened to the life-sowing fluid of semen), the idea of a blood-drinking monster was fucking horrific and blasphemous, sinful beyond measure.

- Orlok’s appearance and the treatment of the G*psies in the town (once more - “bringing shame to this inn!” Likening them to the vampire) is indicative of the xenophobia and prejudice towards Romani Jewish people of the time period, where white victorian christians feared Romani people as being ‘child-stealing’, ‘blood-drinking’ (again, look up Blood Libel) barbarians prone to SA (stereotypes which sadly persist today), but also fetishised them as mystics. (I did my university dissertation on ‘boho’ tattoos, cultural appropriation and the origins of the ‘boho’ aesthetic and why it is just ✨not it✨ but I won’t go into that in depth because my analysis was literally over 5000 words)

- I love that the message at the end was basically ‘the only way to kill your shame is to lay with it, to accept it and love it’ - which is honestly true. If you learn to accept uncomfortable aspects of yourself and face them, they no longer have any sort of power over you.

- The female protagonist is dressed all in white, indicative of her purity and chastity, and it’s interesting to see how her wardrobe gradually darkens throughout the film, showing her becoming quite monstrous herself in one particular scene where she rips open the top of her dress and demands Thomas to ‘take her’, up until the final scene, where she is stark naked and covered in blood. Honestly wicked. I love a good corruption. Her character is so symbolic of the struggle of someone who is deeply repressed and chastised for her desires. Desires which started innocently and then - through suppression in an oppressive society and household (her father discovering her naked and screaming at her for being sinful)- were twisted and given form as something monstrous that literally eats away at her and those around her, because she brings her shame wherever she goes, and in the end, even though she faces it and sets an example, it ultimately kills her to do so.

- Also notice how NOBODY fucking listens to her. And every time nobody listens to her, Orlok grows stronger as she grows angrier and more frustrated. They’re feeding him by ignoring her. It’s sad that they look at her in the end, and deem her ‘sacrifice’ as noble, only really paying attention to her once she is dead, with her shame laying on top of her, crushing her. This is the torment of the Victorian Woman, told that she must deal with her problems alone by the male characters.

Edit: Also because the film is German in origin, I’d recommend looking up the ‘Nachzehrer’ creature - a ghoulish vampire-esque creature that would rise from the grave to drag its victims into death with it through various means, known to devour its own funeral shroud, rendering it naked. Fun fact: it was said that if a corpse was clutching its left thumb in its right hand with the left eye open (I think? It’s been a while since I researched it), it would rise as a Nachzehrer. They are also thought to be able to drain their victim’s life force remotely. The threat was said to be particularly great if the living gave the Nachzehrer a personal affectation - in the case of Orlok, it would be Thomas giving him the locket containing Ellen’s hair.

[mr-hopkins]

Late night cravings 🍜✨

- Lee Heesung Imagine

Synopsis~ A sleepyhead and scruffy Heesung wakes up to his girlfriend craving late night food. Unable to resist her charm, he gives into her request. But he won't back down without getting anything in return. And a kiss sounds promising.

Read more below 👇🏻

The insistent chirping of my phone finally roused Heesung from his slumber. He groaned, burying his face deeper into the pillow, but the persistent vibrations continued their assault.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

I giggled, leaning over to peck his cheek. "But baby, I'm craving jjajangmyeon."

Heesung's eyes fluttered open, the grogginess fading slightly at the mention of his favorite late-night snack. "Jjajangmyeon?" he repeated, his voice a low rumble.

"Yes, please?" I pleaded, batting my eyelashes at him.

Heesung sighed dramatically, throwing an arm over his eyes. "Fine, fine. But you owe me a good morning kiss."

I grinned, leaning down to shower his face with kisses. He chuckled, finally giving in and pulling me closer. "Alright, alright, let's get this show on the road."

Heesung, still a little disheveled with sleep-tousled hair and a sleepy smile, looked incredibly endearing. I couldn't resist running a hand through his hair, messing it up further.

"You're so cute when you wake up," I teased, poking his cheek.

He groaned playfully, "Stop teasing me."

We spent the next few minutes discussing our order, debating between jjajangmyeon and jjampong, ultimately deciding on both. Heesung, ever the considerate boyfriend, insisted on ordering extra sides and drinks.

As we waited for our food to arrive, we settled onto the couch, snuggling close. Heesung wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. I breathed in the comforting scent of his cologne, feeling safe and content in his embrace.

"You know," he murmured, his voice a low thrum against my ear, "I'm really lucky to have you."

I smiled, snuggling deeper into his warmth. "Me too, Heesung. You're the best."

He leaned down, his lips brushing against mine in a soft, lingering kiss. My heart fluttered, and I leaned into him, eager for more.

Our hands intertwined, his fingers tracing lazy circles on my skin. The atmosphere was electric, a comfortable silence hanging between us, broken only by the soft ticking of the clock.

Just as I was about to lean in for another kiss, the doorbell rang.

Heesung groaned, pulling back slightly. "Ugh, the food's here."

I giggled, "Don't be such a grump. We can continue this later."

He gave me a quick, passionate kiss, his lips lingering for a moment before pulling away. "Promise."

I nodded eagerly, my heart pounding. Heesung, ever the gentleman, went to answer the door, returning a few moments later with steaming bags of delicious food.

We spent the next hour enjoying our feast, laughing and talking about our day. As we finished our meal, Heesung leaned back against the couch, a contented sigh escaping his lips.

"That was amazing," he declared, wiping his mouth with a napkin.

I smiled, "I told you."

He looked at me, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "You know, I think I'm starting to like these late-night cravings."

I leaned over, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Me too."

Heesung pulled me closer, his arms wrapping around me. "Now," he whispered, his voice husky, "where were we?"

I smiled, my heart fluttering again. "Right here."

And with that, we finally resumed our interrupted embrace, the delicious scent of Chinese food lingering in the air, a testament to a perfect, albeit slightly interrupted, evening.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Feel like making people miserable today. Anyways, here's Gon experiencing like. Textbook symptoms of trauma in the CAA, in case there was any lingering doubt about this or anything:

Initial denial that the experience happened or was traumatic

[ID: A screenshot from episode 85 of HxH 2011. Gon, eyes bright and with a smile, says "Kite is alive!" End ID.]

Flashbacks

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 95, and a third from episode 110. In the first, Kite's arm is shown in the foreground, bleeding and blurred. In the second, a close of Pitou's wide eyes, looking animalistic. In the last, puppet Kite's mangled and scarred face stares emptily ahead - the scene is greyed out. End ID.]

Intense distress at real or symbolic reminders of the trauma

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 116. In the first, Gon's fist can be seen in the foreground, with Pitou shielding an unconscious Komugi just barely seen. The narrator says "The girl lying before them brought back". In the second, Komugi has a medical respirator on. The narrator continues "images of a broken Kite to Gon's mind". End ID.]

Physical sensations such as pain, sweating, nausea or trembling

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Gon's fists slam into the ground as he says "That isn't fair...". Sweat drips down his arms. End ID.]

Extreme alertness/hypervigilance

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. Part of Pitou can be seen in the foreground as Gon stares at them intensely, crouched on the ground with his arm resting on his knee, obscuring his lower face. End ID.]

Angry outbursts or other extreme behaviour

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 116, and the other from episode 127. In the first, Gon shouts "Is something wrong with you?!" as his face contorts with rage. His aura floats black around him. In the second, Gon, his face shadowed eerily with thin lines, says "The next time you try to delay me, I'll kill her." End ID.]

Feeling like you have to keep busy

[ID: A screenshot from episode 94. A close up of Gon's face from the side as he says "I want to focus on my training." End ID.]

Doing things that are reckless and self-destructive

[ID: Three screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other two from episode 131. The first is stylized as a black outline of Gon's figure over a background like parchment or a projector - he's been hit in the face and sent to the right from the force of the blow. The second is a close up of Gon's face, almost completely shadowed, with intense and vacant eyes - he says "I don't care". The third continues with a close up of his eye filling with darkness - "if this is the end..." End ID.]

Feeling like nobody understands ("since it means nothing to you")

[ID: A screenshot from episode 116. In a whitish-room with a crack on the wall between them, Gon stands ahead of Killua, facing away from him. They are both in shadow. End ID.]

Ignoring offers of help and shutting out loved ones... poor Killua :(

[ID: A screenshot from episode 136. A spotlight on both Killua, in the foreground, and Gon, walking away from him in the background. Killua thinks "I wanted you to ask for my help in defeating Pitou!" End ID.]

Self-loathing, self-punishment, and lack of self regard

[ID: Three screenshots, two from episode 110 and the third from episode 131. The first is a close up of Gon's face over Morel asking "When would you try to hurt yourself?" The second is a continuation. Morel looks down at Gon who is facing away from the camera as Gon replies "When I couldn't forgive myself." In the last, adult Gon, staring ahead, is animated in black and white with the only colour being the blood from the stump of his right arm. His left hand grips his shoulder. End ID.]

Blaming yourself for what happened

[ID: Two screenshots, one from episode 95 and the other from episode 130. In the first, Gon hugs puppet Kite around his waist. In the second, Gon stares blankly ahead with tears streaming down his face as he thinks "I killed Kite." End ID.]

Overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, and shame

[donut-entendre]

why are you starving your farmer's son to death. feed him

[runawaymun]

this is your reminder that sometimes evil phone calls are necessary to fix problems because stuff is genuinely human error which AI answering machines and phone apps don't know how to fix. Pain and suffering on planet earth. ✌️

[lanternlightss]

loop ….

[thedrotter]

a once in a lifetime miracle: oc art!! this is Shiva.

doodles from a month or so, but i cant really draw properly right now. but i wanted to do something meanwhile so i colored these :33

[floral-hex]

Thinking about this time last year when life was rough. mom was sick. had a breakdown at the hospital and walked around the parking garage for an hour thinking about throwing myself off.

Today was good. slept in. Chinese food with the family. Everyone is happy. Probably the happiest birthday I’ve had in years. Thankful for medication. Thankful for my family. for my new kitten and for noodles and pistachio pudding and coffee. going to see Sonic 3 in an hour. Nosferatu in the morning.

Despite everything, happy to be alive.

[megumi-fm]

.

[not-equippedforthis]

staring at the page of notes i need to consume for the mock exam tomorrow and i just cannot. be assed.

[meatheadmutt]

why am i having to hold a gun to googles head to show me articles on the long term effects of hormonal birth control on the endocrine system in adult patients who began usage as a teenager

[ranvwoop]

i try to avoid my acc being Just vntposting . in this world. but man is it going