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I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?
I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#don't mind me just killing time waiting for maintenance to end so i can stick my face directly into 7-12#i mean i'm on the record (read: constantly posting) about how much i love the whole tragique backstory behind mal's birth#and. look. hold on it's a day ending in y time to be embarrassing about anime characters online again#no but really i love him. i love how he's such a vague figure but also the way his and silver's stories contrast#i cannot articulate it very well but just#i love how he's essentially like...bad end silver#he let himself go along with the big evil plan because he wanted to save his dad and not betray his king and all that#and when he finally did take a stand it was too late to stop the worst of it#meanwhile silver was immediately like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS#silver is NOT going to end up slaying the dragon thank you very much#me kicking my stupid little legs in glee over it all#and! the retrospect when you realize! that he was the one leading silver around lilia's memories!!!!#he is so happy that silver and lilia have each other!#he's so happy for them!#i want to put him in a can and hold him in my pocket for 16 years#also: his ridiculous hair. it's so silly and so good.#may vil never meet him#the knowledge that there's someone with naturally gorgeous hair who has somehow done it even dirtier than silver would destroy him
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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The Hunger Games but make it an early 2000s shoujo manga
#Katniss Everdeen#Peeta Mellark#The Hunger Games#everlark#peeniss#HIIIIII new art blog christening#so btw this is a redraw of a specific piece of art from Peach Girl HOWEVER i cant find it online#ive also spent the better part of a decade trying to replicate miwa ueda's style so i think ive finally done it. take that miwa#ANYWAYYYYY i had to do a thg/peach girl draw but i really didnt want to draw gale love triangle art#mostly because i draw gale with long hair and i dont think society is ready for long haired gale just yet. but watch out!#i have another peeniss draw that i'm going to post eventually but i'm having an argument with katniss's dress so until we get that rectifie#ANYWAY if you read all my tags.... your epic!!!!
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A lot of early concept stuff was expression/pose brainstorming - there’s the classic six Webkinz emotions (which, I learned have been largely pared down to just four after a point! Since they got rid of Dr. Quack’s role, there’s no more “sick” expression and most ‘Kinz’ tired and sad expressions are the same! >:0 What’s the point of having an easily editable puppet with the spaghetti code intact that you have to put an image there AnyWay and not make a slightly different expression!! H’f) as well as the main Sakura poses - so if I’m already making up expressions, why no go a little further! :D
One of the expressions I definitely needed up top was Mischievous - working with a cat, that’s the only logical conclusion really. I think it’s funny that she swerves the compliment only to pay it right back as well lol
The ticklish expression is one I’m still going back and forth on! I’m half tempted to have it be somewhere between happy and angry - maybe a mood gradient, starting out just positive and slowly moving into “Hey stop! >:0″ if it’s too many times in a row? It’s a thought haha
Similarly so, messing with her ears - bothering your pets is a very important element of socialization (lol)
As seen above, I’d reallyyy like to figure a way to have a dual-visual mood system - both the ‘Kinz body language/expression/emotion and a more exact stat bar. I’m still chewing on this idea a bit, no pun intended lol. That and click-and-drag with an actual image you can drag around your screen, hm and hm! Much to think about. Her face here turned out cute and funny haha, helped me push the expression more comedic
Much better :) Webkinz already has some well-known food dialogue, my favourite is probably “Mmm to the mmmax!” haha
Each low-mood would have their own emotion tied to it, but what about somewhere in the middle? I like the idea of the ‘Kinz getting bored if they’re left alone for too long! And little paw taps, showing off her embroidered paw pad haha ♪
#Doodles#Webkinz#Diamond#Ghostkinz#Ukadevlog#Diamond makes for an excellent concept art model#But y'already knew that haha she's featured a few times now! Plush or digital she's so cute#Of course these were made before her vectors! Had to start traditionally first and foremost!#All the bluesky stage so let's! see! what makes it to coding it lol#Some of these I even know how to do! :D The rest uhh we'll see :)#For now it's just the fun of Ideas >:3c Strong creative ideas cannot be fettered by realism! Lol#It'll be fun to see what makes it all the way to final! Heck I don't even know how much of what Actually Currently Finished will stay haha#I considered having the extra doodles under a cut but ehhh it's a cheat week it's fiiine it's not a big deal#How are we feeling on these mostly-unedited doodles haha - they're not too bad I think :)#The little intro in the first one haha - I went with my current in-game name even tho I use ''Willian'' for all my Ghosts this one included#It's a WillPlays but also not?? It's fine don't worry about it lol#Since pets are so centrally featured I gotta make sure they're good ahh#Smol actually came up with a great idea for face-clicks that aren't punches :3c So I'm gonna try that out sometime hehehe#It doesn't feel right to punch a 'Kinz! :'0 Bothering them is fine tho lol#So far I've thought up some ways to intentionally drop Happiness and Energy but I think Hunger would just have to be a waiting game#Maybe an activity of some kind? Not sure hmm#Anyway don't intentionally try to make your 'Kinz sick just to see the cute/sad blinking animations! That's mean!#(Do it I made the blinking animation soooo hard so every time they blink it's like she's struggling to keep them open ahhh)#I had the idea to have a run-away system if they're mistreated but hmmm dunno yet not sure#It really is fun to think of a more in-depth pet system ♪ I really like the many many features Webkinz Classic has!#The wide selection of pets and items and the room and clothes customization and games and like - there's a lot on offer!!#But it does really feel like the Interactions With Your Online/Plush Pet have fallen wayyy to the wayside :(#There's only extremely sparse locations you can even talk /to/ your pet anymore :( Not just as them like an avatar#I remember chatting with Sugar every time I logged on - I have to join a specific timed event just to wish Embroidery good luck anymore#Getting to chat is a big big reason I'm excited for this <3 It's /fun/ to chat with your plush! It makes them more real <3
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who needs encouraging fathers when you can get fortune cookies that tell you you're doing a good job and that it'll all be okay
#nvm. the second fortune told me to suck it up and work harder. this is exactly like having a father.#this post is very deeply joking and unserious as I tend to be btw lmao.#shitpost hours#idk if I ever mentioned this before but my stepfather literally has a gridded map of our yard for the annual easter egg hunt.#he maps out where he put all of them (over 100 eggs. 25 for each sibling). [big yard. backs up into the woods.]#I think he had it on excel one year.#I only escaped doing the egg hunt a few years ago. I am in my twenties.#you guys know that scene from Psych where shawn's like 'dad you literally dug an egg 2 feet underground one year#and still expected me to find it' and the dad was like 'ok well i left loose dirt to indicate a dig'? yeah. it's that lmfao.#I love him but GOD. not easy being the only type b person in the family lmfao.#like. that's FUN for them. for me it feels like boot camp but they're all having a great time I guess#they're all very 'give 110% all day every day' type people and i'm like. idk. i think 36% sounds nice. doesn't 36% sound nice?#anyways. I truly believe that oversharing online is okay if it's kinda funny. also this is not new information lmao.#like. oh noooo the internet knows that i'm a bisexual with daddy issues. there's only like 5 billion of those on tumblr 😭#that's like 1/4th of the entire userbase so i think it's okay to disclose lmfao.#I am NOT unique in any way shape or form ✌️#anyways. back to finals work but tomorrow i'll catch up on dms/etc lol
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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Hi, I'm UpsideDownSmore! (people also call me Smore or Nick)
Making a new pinned post since the art in the previous one is outdated, that post will now serve as a collection of art from before I came over to tumblr in 2023 and you can find it here
Tags:
My art
Hollowframe
Warframe giveaways
And if you're curious about what Krita brushes I use and how I use them, you can check out a post I made about that here!
I've also made a Ko-fi page! For now it's pretty much just has a tip button, but I might do more with commissions and/or a shop there in the future. Feedback appreciated! Link below:
I also have an ArtStation page where I've assembled most of my art projects alongside more thorough descriptions, you can find it here:
Those two links alongside my other social media links can be found in my Carrd site:
That's it, thanks for stopping by! :)
#finally got around to making a better pinned post lol#that old one was up for way too long#also a good opportunity to share the two new sites i'm on :)#just slowly figuring out how this whole online creator thing works lol#pinned post#introductory post#intro post
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Today... (WxS's Version)
#project sekai#pjsk#proseka#prsk#wxs#wonderland x showtime#tsukasa tenma#emu ootori#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#I'M SO EXCITED#im a wonderlands girly this is an important day for me#finally KAMI NO MANIMANI#and literally everything else!#love ka?ego rock?online game addicts?alien alien?!!!! YES#and also ill finally to be able to hear 1 2 fanclub in the best quality AMEN SISTERS#midnight can't come sooner
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Mity I doodled (mostly from memory) earlier instead of studying for finals
#Sorry if I've been talking to people less or if I ignored literally anybody I'm trying to focus on stuff#Even if I'm active on Tumblr a bunch reblogging stuff#I'm tryna not to distract myself TOO HARD#I got finals this week dawg....#I feel really bad for it but also I feel better distancing myself a bit from certain activity online#And like tumblr#Bc I've been checking this app endlessly and I need to get out of that habit#I think I did well enough about that today (that I wasn't actively thinking about it) and now I have the feeling og#POST AND SKITTER AWAY back so that feels a bit better but I feel bad for not responding to people oops#IRTS oakey. Have a mity. I will be mental illness rambles in my tags sorry#I am go eepy after posting this#Toontown#Toontown Corporate Clash#(unsure abt main tagging this for reasons stated earlier and bc too many notes can get to my brain but... I likey this one.)#Rainmaker#Guz art
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Seyeong being a petty, catty bitch will never not delight me. He's such an asshole. I love him.
#Netkama punch#I am SO NORMAL about netkama punch YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW#(I've gone over all the raws I'm so excited for the end)#I love that we're finally getting more of seyeongs backstory and why he's a dick#But that man is the PETTIEST mother fucker and I love that for him so much#(also the prettiest 💅🏼)#'i was told if I gave u the clan u would jump into my arms' 'stop listening to woohyeon' 'howd u know'#He meets woohyeon in person ONCE and immediately knows there are no braincells shared btwn him and heejae#Woohyeon and Heejae both think they're holding the braincell but they're wrong#Its seyeong but then he panics and fucking LOBS it elsewhere#My proof: woohyeon insisting seyeong was playing hard to get. And then Heejae believing him.#There is not a braincell between them#Seyeong only gets it sometimes bc he was rightfully freaked out by someone he knew online tracking him down#(and then he starts reluctantly hanging out w heejae until it's less reluctant)#God I love them. I love them I love them I love them#Seyeong 'when will heejae get tired of me'#Baby he is NEVER getting tired of you that man is a whole ass red flag JUST for you!!!#He had yoona drooling over him and he decided to chase after YOUR petty grumpy ass instead#They're so fucking terrible I love them so much
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Like I feel kinda shit for it but I truly do not have the energy to figure out based on fcking posts of someone's Instagram likes and like. The fucking actions of people they support to figure out whether it's "okay" to like them like I just can't
#sayingthing#And honestly objectively it's kinda silly because there's more important things to focus on ffs!#But still like there is guilt there because you CAN know more than I do nowadays#And you know I like the idea of the people (who's work) I'm a “fan” of to actually be people I'd “agree” with irl#But for most people irl I wouldn't know that shit either! And we just fcking live with that until we do learn I guess idfk#And mainly it's a product of parasocialism and weird online culture#And I just want to be having fun out here but It feels fucking silly to say when I could potentially figure out if they maybe actually#Have shitty opinions or a shitty worldview or take shitty actions#But I just do not have the energy for that#I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT “CELEBRITIES”#NEITHER do I want to have the kind of mental relationship with celebrities where that's relevant#But I post about shit online and then I can't help but go along with the online contextt even though it's not how I fucking want it to be#This is just all stupid but that's the point I guess???#Like why am I even posting about this why is this a thing that I'm giving more attention than actual world-relevant things#Like at some point I'll finally decide that if people are being vague as fuck about why someone is x type of shitty#And also not Very easy to find more info on? It's just not worth it to get into.#So.#LIKE THESE ARE NOT THE THINGS TO FOCUS ON IN LIFE
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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TERFs 🤝 Zionists
Using the exact same talking points and rhetoric.
#just saying#don't mind me but you Know I'm Right#like its the same picture#like both will ask for a blood test to see how much you're allowed to talk about your own idenity for one#they tend to use gaslighting when you notice historical events#and they're both holocaust deniers who believe no other group was effected by the holocaust#they both hate Jews and have a history of using conspiracy theories to justify their hate of other groups#both use the same ideologies of far right fascists#both love nazis so much that they copy their methods#both twist the truth to fit an agenda#both have the whole “every accusation is an admission” thing where they accuse others of being what they are#both are racist and racially profile and investigate people#both have a very binary view of human beings and think there's a secret “us vs them” battle going on between them and other groups of people#especially when said people finally get sick of being hate crimed and show agression after the initiated aggression#both accuse “the other side” (aka an entire group that doesn't want anything to do with them) of stealing their idenity and picking on them#they see people chanting “we hate nazis” and “we hate fascists” as a personal attack against them#Both want sympathy for acting aggressively to total strangers who are minding their own business#both claim to care for Jews (some even are Jewish) but use antisemetic rhetoric in their politics then cry when people call them out on it#Both don't understand the concept that being part of a marginalised group doesn't stop you from hating those of the same or other groups#Both are backed by far right christo-fascists (#And both claim that others are being hateful when said people simply say “you're taking what I said out of context” or twist their words#Aaaand they both use bot accounts online and would rather believe professional agistators rather than factual evidence#which includes surrounding themselves in echo chambers that claim really over the top conspiracy theories and history denialism-#- to justify their views#Also they end to be the same people sometimes
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-MY CHOPPER FINALLY ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!😭💖
#for those who don't know. I said a while ago in the comments of one of my posts that I had bought a plush of chopper#but due to my bad luck. the order didn't arrive and this happened 5 times. we tried with several different stores and it didn't work...#until we changed the app and finally. it arrived!#also- I had to buy it online because I'm simply from brazil#and there's no way I can travel to the country that made it just to buy a chopper there- yk? javsjdb#but anyway. it finally arrived and I'm really happy about it.#as a fan of one piece and because I really like chopper I feel like it was worth the attempts I had to make to buy it :]#(note: HE IS REALLY CUTE SERIOUSLY I LOVED TO HUG HIM IQBSKWBDKWBSKBE)#love him fr chopper is the best <33333#tony tony chopper plushie#chopper plushie#tony tony chopper#one piece chopper#op chopper#chopper#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#not an art post#mel talks#?
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Starting a challenge tomorrow where I listen to one TMBG album a day chronologically until my epic journey starts
#let's have a little tmbgtober in preparation for THE DAY!!!!!!!#almost forgot about this because i had this idea months ago and now i have just the right number of days left to do this#could it be that i'm finally realizing the true wonder of this fact. the day i've been waiting for!!!!! so close!!!!#seriously what even is four weeks. and if i count it from the day we leave on our journey it's just about 3 weeks#i wonder how much of that whole trip i should document here. i've been planning to make it very thorough. like a daily thing#i've never done a proper 'travel log' like this (at least one that i share online you know) so why the heck not try it now. could be fun#but who knows what i feel like doing by then. might be to busy for that level of documentation#and i want to make the most of the time i get there#but yeagh i will definitely make a super detailed review of the show at least. this is def happening#i'm 100% sure i will have the greatest time of my life there no doubt about that#because i'm not even considering the possibility that it won't be good. the whole trip AND the show#also wow there's dates for the 2025 us tour already. always super exciting to see#you know what 2025 tour i'm thinking of now. i'm already annoying my whole family with this because it's finally CONFIRMED#so maybe i should make it clear now that when sparks drop the tour dates#you will all have the opportunity to see my appropriately enthusiastic reaction to that (biggest understatement of the century)#but that's a topic for another day#goosepost
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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