#<-- r those right? I DONT KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
I'm not sure if multiple requests are allowed (if not please feel free to ignore), but can I also request Lisa kink hcs?
{☆} characters lisa minci {☆} notes drabble, hc's, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings 18+ content, drugging (consensual)
{☆} pet play
lisa adores breaking in brats just as much as she loves obedient pups– either works for her, really, but seeing you on your knees with a collar and a leash around your throat..oh it gets her going. she won't even let you talk unless you need to stop– dogs don't speak, after all. if you've been really bad she has no problem muzzling you, too. hearing your panting and whining muffled by the leather as she constantly edges you, pushing you to the edge just to pull you back..it's her favorite part. if you've been bad, anyway. if you were a good pup, she might just overstimulate you instead, see how many times you can cum before those pretty eyes of yours roll back.
{☆} bondage
bit of an expected answer but she definitely enjoys every aspect of it. she certainly doesn't mind coming home to you already restrained, but theres something especially intimate about doing it herself. it let's her tease you, too, making sure the restraints aren't too tight by making you instinctively tug on them when she suddenly touches you or moans in your ear..shes not opposed to being restrained, either, don't get her wrong. leather, ropes, silks..she's got something for every occasion. just be careful to choose something she can't squirm her way out of, because she's surprisingly flexible, and she might just turn the tables on you mid session.
{☆} aphrodisiacs
i mean. this is pretty self explanatory. her passive literally helps with potion making, she's absolutely made something of this variety before. whoever takes it depends on the mood– sometimes it's just one of you, sometimes it's both. she just loves seeing you so needy and warm, barely able to keep your hands to yourself. when it's just her taking it, it's more of a means of..relaxation. no stress, no worries, just being taken care of by you for a bit where she can turn her brain off and enjoy it. but her favorite is when you both take it– let's you both just..let loose and fuck like rabbits for a bit, get out a bit of pent up energy. especially if you haven't seen each other for a while. if you thought she was insatiable on a good day, it's so much worse now.
#asks#Anonymous#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#minors dni#writing tag#lisa minci x reader#lisa minci smut#second one may seem too generic but lord. this woman will find any excuse to tie you up#also is this late? yeah. dont ask abt my absence i was uhh. checks notes.#stares at the pretty bird lady. um#sweats#anyway#lisa my beloved......i mean she knows a thing or two abt potions so like. cmon#aphrodisiacs r right up her alley#hard on the pet play she will dress you up like one of those dog moms buying 300 outfits for their tiny dogs#gets you matching ears and tail and like. 30 collars depending on her mood that day#you basically get treated like a spoiled lap dog#which is what you basically are lbr#just play nice or youll be in for a bit of a. shock.#anyway. see u in another month /j
178 notes
·
View notes
Text
they're just a lil stitious.
bonus:
#I would say im sorry for being annoying and still posting abt this but I'm not bc im slightly obsessed#the way they are giggling abt not touching it and shit is so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to me#also my other gifset says that benny said 'dont touch it man' but I STILL dont know which one of the two it fucking is but thinking abt it#benny asking 'dont touch it right' makes more sense w matty's answer so I will b regiffing n reposting the og gifset...anyway to the acc ta#hockey#nhl#florida panthers#matthew tkachuk#aleksander barkov#sam bennet#and so many more#kyle.gif#nhledit#cats#benny#also ive seen a good few of yall add those lil comments to gifs which feels like im 16 again making compilation videos on yt so im#having fun w that and copying it#also there r so expectations on me to make specific kinda gifs on here so i can do what I want#writting diary entrys in the tags of gifs is my favorite pasttime fr
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm
#its the allure of like . mismatch btwn right person / wrong time . maybe in personal development and such#or wrong person / right time and trying 2 make it work but the circumstances are set 2 separate you#i think the guilt ford harbors over his relationship w fidds is good and i think hes had a lot of reflection . 30 yrs at least#but i dont rly care for like a . HELPP SRY IM LIKE talking to myself#i dont rly care ‘if’ they got back tgether in the end#fanon wise or whagever obviouslyy . no avrually emma-may kicking fidds out over the xmas thing its over HELPPPP#i feel like i always hve to clarify bc then theres that one guy whos like ‘smth smth you cant read . ooc loser .’idgaf . not gaffing today#i think mcguckets decision to forgive him is rly sweet And i do like the recognition of .. the whole incident being a misstep on both their#parts ykwim ? like ford was an ass for sureee but also mcgucket + memory gun was his own autonomous detriment#but#no i cant read the other tags i was writing i forgot where i was at#anyways im so obsessed w like . this being such an imperfect event with imperfect equals#ford theory and fidds the mechanics . which brw im also obsessed w how That is revered in canon .#but yeah like imperfect event imperfect people who shared an incredible connecfion in my freaking mind#that was ultimately squandered to fords pride and fidds reticence#ugh like i love the rise and fall i love the strenght of their connection generally corroding over time#its just such a cool motivator for both themselves and like its a history they share together and post weirdmageddon get to finally think a#knowing now what they didnt have the tools to recognize then#idk.^__^ they r so crazy to me . playing w them like dolls in my head#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#gravity falls#every time i think ab this wrt every challeneged dynamic i think ab mars in the discord#talking ab x and y charas epic divorce arc#and im not even saying this to discredit Good relationships in media#bc those have a wealth of fun and interesting concepts or dynamics to dive into#its just something ab like . poetry of anger bro . and how love and hate can feel so similar and be borne from the same place#how one can transform into the other and back again due to . idk whatevee the hell theyve got going on^#prev post got me wishing we had more meat to the fallout#or that it was extended in content or scope . i want 2 see how they dealt with losing the other and then
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
shakings you guys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just finally got around to reading chapter 4 of a fanfic a friend has been writing and !!! GRHAHGRGGERGGRGGRGGAAAAA
I cannot stress this enough, please please please PLEASE !!!!!!!! go check out How It Came To Be by @brits4gerardway on @drinkpisser
it's a really good fic and uhm uhm uhm !! its a really fucking fun read and like . i dont wanna say too much without spoiling but like trust me bro it's really good and uhm !!
literally shaking oh mhy GOD
#granted i am hyperactive but also !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sO EXCITED#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#what do i even TAG THIS AS#UHHMKMMJHHDH#my fingers going cray z holdo n#gerard way fanfic#mcr fanfic#hesitant alien#hesitant alien fanfic#<-- r those right? I DONT KNOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fanfic rec#decayed vocal chords !!#screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming screaming
18 notes
·
View notes
Note
How muscular are you looking for? Also what kind of lighting? Maybe me or someone has an appropriate friend/associate for a mini photo shoot?
Probably like swimmer/runner sort of build. I hate to impose on anyone, but if someone's up to the task I'd hardly refuse. I'm sure I'd come up with something to give them as thanks! I'll be able to figure something out, but good references make everything easier, so here, if anyone wants to take a shot, this is what I'm thinking:
I only need back references, so pants can stay on! Direct top lighting gives deep light/dark contrast, which is what I'm tentatively planning on.
#I would say I'd send them a signed print at least but at this scale I'm not 100% sure I'll be able to scan it#I appreciate the offer to help#this is one of those 'I'd ask a friend if I could but as a single adult woman I work really hard to keep my platonic male friendships#firmly PLATONIC and 'hey can i take a shirtless picture of you' does not sound super platonic'#even if it is for art#arguably 'can i take a shirtless picture of you so that I can paint your naked torso in monumental scale and hang it permanently in my hous#e'#is like. the least platonic favor I can think of that isn't R-rated#I know I am opening a door here and dear sweet hellsite please dont make it weird#it's not right now#but I will be sad if it does get weird#we're doing so well
155 notes
·
View notes
Text
i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay you people dont get it at all. fries and chips are NOT the same. cookies and biscuits are NOT the same. (however american "biscuits" ARE just fucking scones. those are the same. theyre savory scones.)
fries vs. chips is easy to explain. fries are thinner chips are thicker & medium-width ones can go either way. some dishes you have to call them chips with (e.g. fish & chips) but some it doesnt matter which you call them (e.g. burger w/ fries & beef burger w/ chips)
^ examples of chips (left) and fries (right)
However biscuits and cookies requires nuance. you could never understand. im the one and only biscuit-cookie EXPERT. ive listed examples of each (under the cut, to spare ur guyses dashes)... hope you understand. hope my psychic mind beam waves are reaching you
COOKIES:
oreos
chocolate chip cookies
sugar cookies
snickerdoodles
black and white cookies
christmas cookies
macaroon
gingerbread men
oatmeal raisin cookies
rainbow cookie
fortune cookie
BISCUITS:
animal crackers
bourbon creams
millionaires shortbread
pocky
cadbury fingers
jaffa cakes
digestives
chocolate teacakes
custard creams
florentines
ginger snaps
jammie dodgers
ladyfingers
lebkuchen
macarons
party rings
shortbread (any kind)
spritzebäck
stroopwafel
wafers (any kind)
for the record though some of these (e.g. macarons or ladyfingers) i wouldnt really call a biscuit in conversation? like i would classify them as biscuits. But when i want biscuits i dont want those. do u get it. its like how rainbow cookies are cookies but when i want a cookie i usually dont want that)
#sorry for three unrelated posts in a row i just had a lot of thoughts at once apparently#muffin mumbles#food#food //#<- jic#i added that first tag when i started drafting this god knows how long ago (right after my last post im pretty sure.)#i had to look through the whole wikipedia list of biscuits and cookies. Did you know there r like SO many originating in the philippines#and i dont think ive had any of them!!! what the hell!!!! i need to up my bickie (biscuit cookie) game#i cant call them that tjats what my family calls our cats dry food. idont think weve called it ''kibble''(?) ever . Like those are bickies#or biccies. my mom spells it that way but i read that with italian pronounciation#iforgot what i was talking about. vinnyvinesauce twin snakes has been on in the background this whole time@and its GETTING to me now#sothats enough of that. im done. hashtag like a boss#<- saw a post about nobody saying ''like a boss'' anymore the other day
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
somehow ive made myself think im not an anime kid despite the countless animes ive watched. like i can feel my brain tricking me into thinking these didnt have any affect on me
#like almost everyday im reminded of another anime that ive watched and im like wait What. how did i forget that#for like the past year if u asked me if i watch anime i would say shit like 'oh not really but i am starting to watch one piece!!'#but slowly its all been coming back to me#the naruto binge watching i did w my dad and brother during quarantine. haikyuu. free. CAPTAIN TSUBASA (god i loved that one). beyblade#burst. a little bit of mha and hunter x hunter. spy x family. theres like a few more i KNOW ive watched but it just doesnt. come to my head#ik this isnt that MUCH but i should give myself credit at least right#OH MY GOD I USED TO WATCH ATTACK ON TITAN. wow i cant believe that#GAKUEN BABYSITTERS HOW COULD I FORGET YOU#there was also this one witch academy anime i watched on yt but i dont remember what its called#something traveller or whatever#i read a few dragonball manga as well a few years back#idk. maybe its because not all of these r just that interesting to me perhaps#it could also be like a fandom thing? maybe being in a fandom is what keeps me interested in a piece of media idkkk#but its not like i WANT to be in the. idk aot or free fandom#idk man its just a bit Odd.#why am i normal about THOSE but not normal about THESE (points at my blog)#ah whatever. idk man
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
vash w this hairstyle is literally so cute.. .. wolfwood matchies or smt T__T
#litearlly dont talk 2 me i saw the knives panel again and smashed everuthing inmy room and set myself on fire#am i wrong 4 thinking that he shouldve had a little more time.am i wrong for thinking this guy.having lived in terrible fear#his whole life 4 what he thought could happen 2 him. to his brother. DID happen 2 his sister#should be able 2 experience some happiness and comfort for once#like yeah the guy killed hundreds of thousands SUREE ok.AND??? let the guy breathe a little#BAHAHA no i think i do still agree w the ultimate ending of him using the last of his energy 2 generate that apple tree#its sweet and i do like the sentiment it was just. Too.soon after it was literally right after#and im like coughing and hacking and wishing.that he and vash couldve spent those few months living (somewhat) peacefully#and secluded.before everything that happened#i guess there is a bittersweet tinge to knives dying before vash woke up / could say gbye but idk.i just grieve 4 this guy#even if a clean redemption isnt like#feasible in a sense U KNOW!!!!!!! but then again i dont think. satisfying endings have to be clean cut and perfect#like he doesnt have to be redeemed i think. not everyone needs Redemption as it exists in its current form#&& i do think that even after all he did.comma.he wasnt entirely wrong?like you cant rly blame him 4 rejecting coexistence#based on the way plants have historically been treated (assuming he also telepathized with exploited plants after the great fall)#though not to say that his decisions/methodology is right ykwim#and i know yeaa yeaa there was a lot of hypocrisy in how he used the other plants 2 amass power#ok this is literally getting too convoluted there r so many conditional aspects to this but long story short i do thnk he deserved.#a little something at the end;______; even if just 4 me to see art of them together post-final arc .#< me dragging my knuckles in the sand w open wounds or smth#sry vash post turned into knives sadblogging EHAHEHA but its like the nature of this^ guys life anyways LMAO#trigun spoilers#trigun maximum#trigun#vash
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
people who still make Joey the ink demon despite canon steering far away from that being the case this is for you I am sending u kisses XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO <3
People who make Joey well-meaning, sympathetic, a lighter shade of morally grey than canon I am also sending u lots of love <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3!!
And people who generally steer wildly from the direction Bendy takes with its characters and has fun with it I hope to see more from all of ur aus and rewrites!!
#ramblez#batim#batdr#this is not me saying aus that don't do this r bad blah blah I just personally have a super soft spot for Joey being the ink demon#since I really like the idea storywise the symbolism of Joey becoming the ultimate monster of this story#joeys who also take a very sympathetic role who are more morally grey than canon also hold a special place in my heart#joeys who think what theyre doing is right not just for them but for their staff who genuinely care abt them who love them mwah#I just love to see very unique takes on these characters I kinda miss when it was only like chapter 2 so everyone had this wildly#different but very unique and fun takes on where we thought the story would head hell for a while we didn't know if Joey was evil or not#thats what spawned Encore it was originally just a collection of theories I thought would come true#esp since I dont think bendy is a particularly well written story its fun to see the fandom have such fun wild ideas on where to take#the concepts and idea presented in bendy that never really panned out into anything interesting or were discarded or retconned#yknow? I miss the days where the aus were wildly out of sync with the actual story when all we had was a few names a few tapes#and we all went wild making our versions of the story and characters and then got so attached to them we doubled down#when canon didnt deliver on em#umm oops this is long have a great new year folks! Get wild get weird with ur bendy aus and rewrites#lets have fun this year and take canon as optional bc lets face it Bendy isn't great but man is it fun and I care abt that way more than#the quality of the story tbh#it had great ideas and executed them uh badly! But idc bc I can stir those great ideas in my head all day and see others do the same <3#anyways yeah thats it love ya guys have a great 2024 <3
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
sorry ive tried to avoid being a hater for no reason like . hating on stuff just bc i resent its popularity rather than actually genuinely disliking it. i try to avoid doing that now. but can the eras tour please just end already so i never ever have to hear about it again ever.
#its bad enough it keeps popping up on all my social media feeds but now that stupid movie is completely dominating my movie app#so im like can i get tickets to see a movie this week and its like sure but only if you scroll past like 5 taylor swift ads. is that ok#yes the movie isnt out for over a month but we're still going to keep it parked right at the top. in front of the movies that ARE playing r#also when i went to the showtimes screen it just. automatically took me to the showings for oct 13th bc thats when her movie is out#not. showings for this week. which it always used to do by default. no. showings for 10/13 for her movie#like omfg i know its not a big deal but i am so sick of hearing about this tour already#so for it to be adding this many minor nuisances & obstructions to me going to the movies this week is just like. go awayyyyy#like twice as frustrating as it would have already been -_- maybe more.#avpost#me: can i see a different movie please#theaters: see taylor swift? buy the taylor swift popcorn bucket? oops you almost saw showtimes for the movie you wanted#not to worry we replaced those with the showtimes for taylor swift. which you obviously want to see.#we are going to shove this extremely average pop musician down your fucking throat for the entirety of 2023 is that okay.#beyonce is currently also on tour. the highest grossing tour of all time. and i dont hear abt it even a quarter as much as i hear abt eras.#so like. no this is not in correlation to her popularity its too fucking much. please leav me alone.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
THEYRE HERE!! AND IVE GOT NOWHERE TO FUCKING PUT EM 🔥🔥🔥
#MONTH IF ALL MY PACKAGES ARRIVING#MIKU. THEM. THE ZELDA EARRINGS#shoutout to the real hero which was the delivery guy bringing me my earrings#i send m to the wrong package point. he went out of his way to call me THRICE to get in contact n deliver them to my house instead#since the package point wouldnt take m. n otherwise theyd been sent retour#n cus he let me know that was the wrong package point i was just int ime to alter the adress of this package to the right one#and when i say just in time#i mean yesterday. i got the adress change done. yesterday#pokegalerie hadnt let me know this one had been shipped yet so the fucking heary attack i got learning it was almost here already BEKDNNF#ribbon rambles#quality wise theyre stunning :] the pokemon especially#archie n maxie themselves r a lil wonky in the face but its ok WWWW they still look nice#max even stands on his own which was a shocker#the only thing i dislike is the special pieces pn tge pokemon all being attached via magnets#some dont have a way to attach at all other then fucking. sticky gum they give w it JSJNFBSS#n like. i get it#you dont want to make holes in your pretty statue for click in points#but rn all those pieces r hanging on w nothing but hopes and dreams#id like em being. a bit sturdier then that
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
ichiro ic
jiro ji
saburo sab
samatoki s
juto jut
rio ri
ramuda ram
gentaro gent
dice dic
jakurai jak
hifumi hif
doppo do
sasara sas
rosho r
rei r
kuukou k
jyushi j
hitoya h
otome ot
ichijiku ichij
nemu nem
——
THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING
#this is vee speaking#I NEED TO RETURN TO MY PARTIALLY MULTIFANDOM BLOG ROOTS I AM DISEASED CLEARLY#I KNOW I SAID YALL DONT NEED TO KNOW HIM BUT YALL WILL KNOW YOUHEI NOW#I WATCHED PARALIVES FIRST EPISODE THE OTHER DAY I THINK THE ANIME IS FIRE THEY CLEARLY DIDNT COME TO PLAY#IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO SEE KAMONOHASHI RON CIRCULATING IN MORE BL ORIENTED CIRCLES AMANO AKIRA IS MY FAVOURITE ARTIST#AND SPEAKING OF MY ANIME HUSBAND OF LIKE 15 YEARS OR SOMETHINGS BDAY IS IN 3 DAYS#I AM OBSSESSED WITH AMAHIKO FUMIYA AND SARUKAWA AS A TRIO#ORV IS LOVE ORV IS LIFE AND I WANT TO BE HAN SOOYOUNGS WIFE#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#god and i know my phone recognized some of those names so quickly because it guessed based off the previous word#so if i’m talking about sasara then clearly next i must be talking about rei or rosho next right?????#and that’s exactly what my phone assumed the moment i typed r because BOTH REI AND ROSHO SHOWED UP IM TRAGIC COMEDY NO 1 INSERT CLOWN NOISES
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright guys. it's that time of Major wants to Fuck Around.
#sly cooper#[soliloqueue]#[survey says]#got that author brain#EVERY COOPER GANG DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD#Dimitri and pk both have fun pasts to explore. put those two in a room together#also dimitris nonsense vs pks no nonsense. yknow#bentley and dimitri have that one TAKE UR PIMP SELF NEATH THE H2O moment#that i think about all the time#they are both silly in different directions#also magic and technology#sly and dimitri are so similar and yet so different#they are both wise crackers. i think this means that when one uses wit as a coverup#the other can see straight through them#MURRAY ANF THE PANDA KING#take big heart fists of flame and put him in a room with cold calm flame fu#and lwt them arson together bc thats always fun#BENTLEY AND PK. BENTLEY AND PK#bentley is a little testier about their alliance than sly i think.#'i dont know why hes forgiven you.' and 'i dont either.'#penelope and pk. big and small. that is all#the guru sees right into ur mind and sly is invisible. its the contrast. hense the tag#PANDA KING AND THE GURU ARE THE ONLY IDIOTS HERE WKTH BRAINCELLS#and then guru and dimitri as magic users with cool pink rocks !!!! they r also fun to rotate in da brain
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is#all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions#mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect#and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it#it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter#but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but#mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read#cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about#how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron#separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward#the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not#allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i#talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday#and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having#a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself#sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like#reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for.#the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it#doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of#ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put#myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing#unrelated
12 notes
·
View notes