#because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

biaswreckingfics · 4 years ago

Note

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

#unpopular kpop opinions #sehunsthetics

7 notes · View notes

monsieur-hadrien · 4 years ago

Text

Harry Potter Fanfic Recommendations continued...

I did one of these lists back in June, and y’all KNOW! that I have even more to share with the world.

This list is a mix between crossovers and single-fandom fics, and are drarry or rarepair-centric, but either way I’ll mark which are which when I get to it.

If you want to see what I’ve been enjoying lately, check out my bookmarks on the Archive

Man of Iron, Child of Magic by zathara001

Harry Potter and MCU, no slash, 107k word count, 32 chapters, completed, teen

In the aftermath of the Chitauri invasion, Tony Stark sorts out his priorities - including one he didn't think he had.

Okay I followed this one from the beginning as a WIP because this is exactly the fic that I was looking for. Tony being Irondad for Harry is the most wholesome thing ever, and Uncle Steve is also 20/10. I will say, this fic is not as dark as a lot of this hp/mcu fics of this trope because it happens in Harry’s younger Hogwarts years and his childhood isn’t too ruined just yet. It focuses a lot on Tony’s growth as a father rather than working through Harry’s trauma (which, don’t get me wrong, that happens as well). Harry still has the naive outlook on life that a child should have and it just makes my heart swell.

Although this fic is done, the sequel has not been uploaded yet, as this fic was just completed late August, but don’t let that deter you. The author is a sweetheart to interact with on new updates (which were quite frequent).

Golden Boy’s Dance by Madriddler

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, 57k word count, 13 chapters, completed, explicit

Two years after the defeat of Voldemort and Harry is feeling useless. Jobless and suffering from PTSD, Harry spent his days going from horrible interview to horrible interview hopelessly looking for a job. Feeling completely useless, Harry, with the help of George, turns to a new profession that Harry never even thought of : being a camboy. Pleasuring himself for money and people's entertainment, Harry hopes to find a use for the Savior of the Wizarding World in this Peaceful Era.

Yeah so uh,,, this is a total guilty pleasure kink fic and I’m not at all ashamed for putting this fic on here. I won’t even lie, sometimes it felt a bit cheesey, but the porn was so well written it didn’t even matter. I swear to you this is porn with plot and lots of it. Harry works through his post traumatic stress disorder in ways that may or may not be slightly unhealthy, but beyond the porn, it’s really about Harry being okay in his own skin, as someone with mental health issues and as a sex worker. It was a hell of a good time to read and I definitely cried for Harry a time or two.

A Dented Old Street Sign by orphanghost

Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, 27k word count, one-shot, completed, mature

Draco knows they aren't the only students who will be completing their NEWTs this year, but they are the only ones whose home fireplaces were disconnected from the floo network by the ministry.

At least, Draco assumes as much until he sees the light falling out from the front door of one of the other rickety old houses in front of them and the three figures cast in its warm glow. For a moment they look like some sort of strange, many legged creature. An acromantula, or a particularly massive Blast-Ended Skrewt. Then Draco hears Pansy make a disgusted sound beside him and the light falls in a less blinding way, and Draco can see that it is actually Potter and the Weasel carrying a large couch between them, and Granger fluttering around them with her wand out, seeming concerned.

I don’t think I’ve laughed this much reading a fic in a long time. The golden trio and the Slytherin gang live in the same neighborhood while attending their 8th year at Hogwarts and i swear to fucking god, the amount of mutual pining and angst between Harry and Draco is fucking ridiculous, but you can’t help but love them anyway. Sometimes I wanted to throttle them and then shove them into a closet together so they would just t a l k but like in a good way. also the Christmastime atmosphere is something I just live for.

Words Unread, Things Unsaid by PinkCrupps

Harry Potter, no slash Harry & Snape, 18k word count, 7 chapters, completed, teen

What if the Dursley’s were a little crueler, and a little smarter? What if they didn’t want Harry going to school because they didn’t want anyone to see the bruises?

What if Harry had to leave for Hogwarts, carrying a shameful secret? One that Severus Snape is determined to discover.

When I say this one hurt, I mean it h u r t. I feel so bad because when I first read the tags I laughed when I saw the illiterate tag because I make the “I can’t read” jokes often but then I read the fic and i felt SO BAD OMG.

I am no fan of Snape, let it be known, but this fic, I think made me feel like he actually deserved a bit of a redemption arc (even if it’s fanon). This whole time, all I could think of is giving harry a big hug and never letting him go.

I said this in the notes of my bookmark, and I stand by it: “

I feel like the hurt/comfort tag on this one is also meant for the reader”

What Happens to the Heart by Mossycoat

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 33k word count, 18 chapters, completed, mature

With no girlfriend, no job, and no idea what he wants, Harry has decided to let life go on without him. If only prophetic dreams, demanding ghosts, and Draco Malfoy would let him.

If you need a pick-me-up after the sadness for the prior fic, may i recommend this one. Seer!Harry is a headcanon that I had never seen before this fic, and I was not let down whatsoever. We love a fic where the OCs are wonderful and the writing style is immaculate. The incorporation of tarot and divination into the chapter names and plot also makes my babywitch heart s i n g!!

Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Relevant_Peach

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 70k word count, 15 chapters, completed, no rating specified, but probably teen/ mature for mental health tingz

Draco Malfoy would do anything to find a cure for his son's life-threatening disease. When he crosses paths with an old acquaintance, it unleashes a string of events that will uncover secrets and deceptions. Will Draco be able to look past the misdeeds of his old lover's past? Will Harry ever find the family he longs for?

Ah yes, who knew that pain could feel so good. Everything seems to be fine until it isn’t with this one.

Turn by Saras_Girl

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 306k word count, 14 chapters, completed, explicit

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

oh my goD yes a classic we love to see it. This is one of those fics that is long but doesn’t reallly feel like it is? This is definitely another feel-good fic, even if it doesn’t seem that way in the beginning. Not only does it focus on Harry and Draco’s relationship, but also their relationships with their family, specifically their children. It’s just really heartwarming whenever Harry get’s all fatherly with his kids. ugh I swear I don’t want any but this is just SO ADORABLE! Plus Blaise Zabini rights thank you very much.

Also Boris can suck my left toe.

There’s a Pureblood Custom For That by Lomonaaeren

Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, 105k word count, 36 chapters, completed, mature

The day that Harry stops Draco Malfoy and his son from being bothered in the middle of Diagon Alley starts a strange series of interactions between him and Malfoy. Who knew there was a pure-blood custom for every situation?

This is another fluffier one, and I have absolutely no shame. Draco is just trying so hard to get through Harry’s thick, clueless skull and Harry is just trying to understand. They’re just so adorable I can’t. And Harry defending Draco’s and his relationship after people are like fuck naw just warms my heart. Like yes Harry, protect ur mans you adorable himbo you.

Our Own Demons by Emmalie22

Harry Potter, MCU, Harry Potter & Tony Stark, Harry Potter/Peter Parker, 119k word count, 24 chapters, WIP, teen/mature

Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Ironman. (Reckless. Lonely. Father.)

Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The Chosen One. Wizard. (The Master of Death. Survivor. Breaking.)

Tony Stark never thought he would be a father. But when a lawyer comes knocking and truths become evident, he realizes that he can’t let his son walk out of his life. For Harry, acknowledging his relationship with Tony is a last-ditch effort to gain freedom and control over his life. Although the journey might not be easy, Tony and Harry learn to heal and become a family, facing trials and tribulations on the way such as a scheming Death, a Mad Titian, Dark Wizards, dangerous Doctors, and living Wards.

I’m so sorry to give you a WIP that hasn’t been updated in 10 months, but I couldn’t let this one slide. I’m so attached to these characters it’s unhealthy. I’m not gonna lie, this fic was the product of a very hyperspecific filtered search on AO3 but I’m not even mad at it. Tony is Harry’s father but unlike the other fic on this rec list, Harry is a bit more grown up and bears a lot of the scars of 5th year (y’all don’t need me to specify with that one). It’s a lovely family dynamic and super fluffy Peter and Harry wow we love to see it. Harry is also super fucking smart AS HE IS! I will never get over people calling him stupid ugh Harry rights. But yes, author friend, if you see this, update when you can I’m so in love with this.

If anybody wants me to do more specific lists, I will totally do so. Just reblog or private message me. And if you have any other fic recs, please do so too because I’m always looking for something else to read.

21 notes · View notes

paunchsalazar · 5 years ago

Note

hey!! bro ur my number #1 source for lupin III content so can I ask like how in the hell I go about watching all the series / movies / etc for it in order??? I’m really pumped for the live action so I wanna at least dip into all the other stuff. thanking ya kindly //tips hat

hello!!! what an honor!! oh my… ok I’m so sorry in advance… I’ve gotten a few similar asks and I started writing out a list and it was getting over 1500 words long so I had to try to chill out…so…

LUPIN III CRASH COURSE

I’m sorry that this is so long.. and consider I cut it down! but here is my intro because I know this franchise is huge and confusing!! (I’ve had multiple instances of friends being like ‘I tried to find that Lupin thing you like but I could only find the third one?’)

I kind of liken it to Scooby Doo? it stretches some 60 years and has been handled by many different writers, directors, and animators across very different eras? most important to know! the order doesn’t really matter and things aren’t really sequential (save for where the three most recent shows) so you can jump in and explore whatever seems compelling! it’s overwhelming because there is so much but also nice because there’s something for everybody! if you like fun and pure, edgy, etc. etc.

feel free to disregard everything coming… I will say my personal priority order is

- Castle of Cagliostro

- some episode of part 2

- part IV, ideally all of it! there’s filler but it’s hard to know which ones

- part I (or some episodes of it? up to you!)

- Fuma Conspiracy

- part V

- part III (it’s great too!! just not as sequential as IV and V)

- First Contact… truly indulgent but its so cute!

(below I broke down a little about each and my favorite episodes, where to find them, etc. and there’s so much more but just doing everything below is a whole lot)

TV (All the shows except for The Woman Called Fujiko Mine are on Crunchyroll!)

Part 1 (1971) - crunchyroll!

The beginnings kind of a weird feeling because the first half was directed with one vision vs. the second half being co-directed by Takahata and Miyazaki, there’s a shift in Lupin’s personality and most significantly they sought to shed his ‘sense of apathy’ and make him more of a hero? something that’s echoed later on! honestly, I don’t think the transition is as dramatic as some people find it? but it does shift across the episodes and end on a sweet note!

truly they all have something to enjoy but I made note of

episodes 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 19, 23

for some reason? really really suggest watching the last episode! but get a bit of the first and second half beforehand!

Part II/Red Jacket (1977-80) - 155 episodes - on crunchyroll dubbed and subbed

there are a lot so I tried to narrow it down to a few of my favorites/ particularly noteworthy ones? I bolded my absolute favorites! I’m sure I missed a few but save for a few two-episode arcs you can jump in anywhere and it’ll be fine.

episodes 1-79 are dubbed on Crunchyroll! In my personal opinion the script makes it worth it!! there are a bunch of non-dubbed episodes anyway if you want to get a feel for both

(these episode titles are often hilarious, misleading, and/or horribly embarrassing?)

1 - ‘The Return of Lupin the Third’ - just a good starting point!

5 - ‘Will the Leaning Tower of Pisa Be Standing?’

6 - ‘Tutankhamen’s 3,000-Year-Old Curse’

7 - ‘Venetian Super Express’ - I want to say this is a cute little road trip episode? it’s been so long

9 - ‘Steal the FIle M123’ - this dub… madness. very strange Christopher Walken impression for absolutely no reason?

10 - ‘Bet on the Monaco Grand Prix’

15 - ‘Crude Reproduction, Perfect Frame’ - Lupin keeps committing strange and uncharacteristic crimes, but he has no memory of doing so!

29 - ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ - Lupin has some mysterious Levitation Technique and everyone is after it

32 - ‘Lupin the Interred’ A famed hitman is after Lupin!

34 - ‘But Your Brother Was Such A Nice Guy’ - this episode is one of the zaniest ones and that’s saying a lot… Vampires? Jesus? Really really funny moments though especially in the dub

42 - ‘Cruisin’ in Drag’ Lupin infiltrates the ship of a wealthy bachelor disguised as a woman

45 - ‘Diamonds and Minx’ kind of a mess of people stealing from each other?

46 - ‘The Island of Dr. Derange’

57 - ‘Alter-Ego Maniac’ - Inspector Zenigata goes criminal

62 - ‘Church of the Poison Mind’ - Jigen and Goemon stumble into a religious cult

69 - ‘Zenigata Getcha Into My Life’ - this title is awful but this episode is great.

78 - ‘Ice, Robot’ - an inventor has made a machine that can cry diamonds!

79 - ‘Baton Death March’

81 - ‘Fujiko, Men are a Sorry Lot!” - Fujiko gets engaged to a Prince, the rest of the gang goes after the monarchy’s Golden Bell

96 - ‘Lupin’s Gourmet World’ tbh this is a vore episode but there are some great gang moments here and a really fun third act

99 - ‘Fighting Jigen’ - first anime episode (I think like in history? but I could’ve misread) in stereo! And I believe the first to air of the TMS staff’s work, you can tell because the style shifts to a more Miyazaki/Cagliostro look and this will keep happening for the rest of the show

101 - ‘Fervent Love at Versailles’ - a crossover episode with Rose of Versailles!

103 - ‘The Wolf Looked at an Angel’ - Goemon is an angel I can say little else

104 - ‘The Most Dangerous Golden Bed’ - debut of perhaps the best opening! I love this episode?? so much?

112 - ‘Danger! Goemon’

122 - ‘An Unusual End to an Expedition for Napoleon’s Treasure’

143 - ‘The Miami Bank’

145 - ‘Wings of Death: Albatross’ - ah yes, one of the famed Miyazaki-directed episode, truly so worth it

151 - ‘To Arrest Lupin, the Mission at the Highway’ - another not exactly Miyazaki episode but a lot of the people he trained? They depart from the part 2 style(s) again but its a good bit of fun all around! Really lovely character animation

152 - ‘Jigen and the Hatless Pistol’ - Jigen loses his hat and thus his ability to shoot

155 - ‘Thieves Love the Peace/Farewell, Dear Lupin’ - the finale episode! Miyazaki-directed as well, and just beautiful

Part III (1984) - 50 episodes - crunchyroll!

I’m still very early in this one so I can’t say much yet! But it gets a bad rep? Perhaps for being more inconsistent stylistically and a bit on the zanier end! But I really like it!! these drawings are such a blast! I think each bit has its merits and this one is no exception. Plus with all their freedom animation-wise they can do a lot of fun stuff!

The Woman Called Fujiko Mine (2012) - 13 episodes - on kissanime for certain and I think animetake?

this is the most dramatic departure from the rest of the shows/films/specials. Fujiko Mine is the star of this part! It definitely has less obviously plot-important episodes but it’s one narrative from start to finish. I must note that it’s by far Lupin’s edgiest, I think it’d be safe to deem this part as R-Rated. There’s sex, violence, sexual violence, abuse, bodily mutilation, obsession… a gay character who gets a pretty tragic fate (at first I was excited by the very existence of an LGBT+ character but he really goes through the wringer and never gets a resolution.. I don’t want to spoil). This is probably Lupin at his ickiest? I do like Jigen’s personality here! And his dynamic with Fujiko, but it’s a lot more disjointed than the other parts. She meets each of them separately and towards the end, Lupin and Jigen interact more but there’s barely a time when they’re all together. That’s not meant to be a deterrent but personally, I’m a sucker for their friendship and love them as a group so it’s a bit of a bummer. Sequential plot-wise though! This one is definitely captivating, a bit disturbing, and there is a plot-twist that really got me. The villain design is really cool too!

Part IV (2015) - 26 episodes - on crunchyroll, also dubbed on Funimation

This part is narrative-based and sequential! It still has some more standalone episodes but there’s definitely an overarching story throughout! I think they’re all worth watching and might leave little important bits that’ll be confusing later on. Essentially this part takes place in Italy for the most part and starts with Lupin getting married to a multi-millionaire heiress/model/celebrity who wants to get into the thief business. This one feels like a good combination of old and new, it’s not quite as silly as the earlier parts can be, but it’s full of nostalgia while still feeling original. I really had a good time!

This dub isn’t bad but!! It comes with a different opening and soundtrack, I guess Lupin’s pretty big in Italy and perhaps there were licensing issues? I’m not sure? But it’s a bit of a bummer to be without the Yuji Ohno soundtrack. The alternate opening feels more like a collection of stills and footage found throughout the show? It’s not horrible, just different! Regardless, the Part IV Japanese OP (vs. the Italian/US one) is worth a watch!

Part V (2018, airing on Adult Swim right now, summer 2019!) - 23 episodes

I’m actually not done with this part but its good fun! more directly tied to part iv then the others are to each other. It’s more sequential as well with a few sub-arcs and since it fell on the franchise’s anniversary it has callback episodes with Lupin in various jackets in various tones. Interesting Lupin characterization here… he seems… sadder, wistful? and we get hints of Lupin lore! Lots of fanservice but… I love it! I still think they could’ve pushed it more? it feels somehow more reserved than part IV in some ways, which is already different from the 70s and 80s, but it’s got a lot of lovely moments!!

Films/TV Specials

From 1989 to 2011 they had a special every year!! So much!

Castle of Cagliostro (1979) - Available on Netflix!

perhaps the best-known piece of media in the Lupin franchise? And rightly so. This film is Hayao Miyazaki’s directing debut and a blast from start to finish! This characterization of Lupin is definitely Miyazaki’s more than Monkey Punch’s but that seems to be the strange nature of the Lupin franchise! I could really go on forever… please watch it!

The Fuma Conspiracy (1987) -

perhaps harder to find, but it’s on Kissanime! Goemon is getting married but before the ceremony is over the bride is taken by the Fuma ninja clan and the gang helps him to get her back as well as learn the story of a family heirloom? Really great stuff from everybody! Adorable Zenigata, the fluffiest and most handsome Goemon, cute Jigen, Fujiko, and Lupin interactions, a really really incredible car chase! Even with Cagliostro’s fame, this one has got some serious pizzazz

Episode 0: The First Contact (2002) - on Kissanime as well!

A journalist asks Jigen how he met Lupin III, this is probably my favorite TV special? And features one of my favorite opening scenes in the whole franchise. The instrumental!! Perhaps each member of the gang at their purest, whatever that means, really great moments between everybody and peak Lupin and Jigen meeting and somehow signing up to be life partners

#oh my god #i'm so sorry #please.. feel free to ignore this #lupin #lupin the third #lupin iii #lupin the 3rd #diggitydamnsebastianstan

93 notes · View notes

personagf-moved · 6 years ago

Text

alphabet & soft questions ✨

I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf

i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘

honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily

Alphabet ask:

a // age: 21

b // birthplace: new jersey!

c // current time: 1:17 am

d // drink you had last: coffee

e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool

f // favorite songs:

aint it fun - paramore

trivia love

honey - kehlani

abbey - mitski

moonlight - ariana grande

g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week

h // horror yes or horror no: H O R R O R Y E S B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc.

i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man

j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess

k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that.

m // middle name: padilla

n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)

o // one wish: to find true love

p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol

q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)

r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf

s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(

t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol

u // underwear colour: she be black

v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/

w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it

x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o

y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby

z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun

Soft ask:

What’s the smell of your shampoo?

we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes

What’s your aesthetic?

the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu

What’s your favorite time of the day and why?

lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho.

What do you most like about the beach?

not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!

What do you worry about constantly?

when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!

What is a song you’ve cried to before?

oh boy...

trivia love

moonchild

first love

she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack

20 something - sza

26 - paramore

the letter - kehlani

landslide - fleetwood mac

when you see my friends - mayday parade

and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO

but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)

What are some things that make you tear up?

the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy

What is your favorite from each sense?

sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh

smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn

taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning

sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise

touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair

What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?

one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should

jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

for starters im ugly as shit so theres one

if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over

but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back. also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.

Say something to your followers:

thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!

#this is soooo long im so sorry oh my god

11 notes · View notes

littlebabycrybtch · 4 years ago

Text

ok ik bitches are still going to complain but i gotta rant to keep my shit together;;; ngl after being stuck co-raising two babies now i really feel genuinely Disgusted by unnecessary parent critique. like it actually makes me feel so viscerally upset and depressed when i remember nobody gets this or cares to and probably just wants to call out what im doing wrong, instead of lend me a hand to do it better. man im not treading lightly here the ‘no excuses’ mentality is literally Inhumane to parents and dehumanizes them as these superhumans, they arent, they are people trying to take care of themselves Plus One. there Are ‘excuses’ for not being perfect. just bc every child deserves perfect doesnt mean it can be given and that fucking SUCKS but that is one of the only times im comfortable saying; ‘thats just life’. you cant magically make life better for kids the way you think, you’re not a protector, you’re their Rock to teach them How to DEAL with what life brings, that means you’re allowed to struggle with it too. childcare is like this cosmic design to work you physically and mentally to the brink, fucking forget the normalization of how many people you think you’ve seen raise kids and done fine, it is harder than you can even fathom. they probably did not do fine behind closed doors. the parents with the best behaved and most obedient kids probably did harmful things to make them that way that will eventually come back to them, the parents with the happiest most well adjusted kids probably had the money to provide the extra care for that. there are ‘excuses’. idc if it fucking annoys you or w/e, i dont like being the bitch that says stuff nobody wants to hear, but you truly deeply cannot 100% understand unless you are raising kids, i dont say that to hurt your feewings or exclude you, i used to think that way, i say it bc when you see me passed out on the couch while my nephew gets into something dangerous, its because i got one hour of sleep that night while he kicked me in our bed for 4 hours. he cant help not knowing how that affects both of us, but i cant help being affected by it just cuz im supposed to be ~the big strong adult~, bc i am not a fucking xman. i CANT pretend it all away. while im sitting there napping im also waiting for my mental health meds to start working. im also dizzy from not eating. it sucks that he gets into shit sometimes. hes still gonna get into shit sometimes, and i can do my best, but if i sit here worrying that karens are gonna get pissed abt that and work myself even harder im gonna straight up explode. who does that help. who does me falling apart help. come babysit my kid for free if you wanna help me bitch!

parents are doing twice the work of a normal person while also teaching one of these people theyre caring for, how to BE a person. i used to be SO pro judging parents and im literally nauseated by the judgments now. “i cant believe this parent looked away and their kid got hurt, i cant beleive they just leave them there with a tablet or a snack or a toy while they nap, i cant believe they let them do that, i cant believe--” btich you literally have no idea how lucky you are that they are not both already dead. you are so lucky tehy are both alive and the parent isnt hospitalized for mental health or even physical exhaustion, or addicted to a stimulant (which includes caffeine), or using smth to relax like weed or alcohol (hello wine mom culture), or the kid isnt traumatized from watching their parent have repeatd breakdowns. that is literally better than most situations already. no matter how impossibly perfect the family could be in your mind, kids fuckin get hurt and they make mistakes and the PARENTS make mistakes bc theyre PEOPLE and yall this blows my mind that ppl dont realize this but,,,,, Little kids??? THEY DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS bc they essentially CANT..... for like YEARS there is a period they WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU at ALL while they have the full autonomy and smarts and strength to cause horrible consequential problems, they are capable of learning how to circumnavigate your ‘babyproofing’ in new ways every single day, but they have ZEROOOOO MORALS OR CAUSE AND EFFECT SKILLS to understand RIGHT FROM WRONG, NO MATTER HOW OFTEN YOU TELL THEM!!!!! IT WONT CHANGE, ITS LITERALLY A PHYSICAL BRAIN THING THAT THEY CANT LEARN WHAT ‘NO’ MEANS FOR A WHILE YET!!! THIS CAN LAST FROM AGE 1 TO 4, SOMETIMES LONGER! THATS GENUINELY INSANITY INDUCING FOR THE ADULT WHOS KEEPING THEM IN LINE HUNDREDS OF TIMES A DAY, KNOWING ITS AMOUNTING TO ALMOST NOTHING UNTIL YEARS LATER!!!! IT DOESNT HELP WHEN PPL JUDGE YOU AND DONT BELEIVE YOU AND THINK YOU JUST ARENT ~TRYING HARD ENOUGH~! holy FUCK dude, idc if you wanna judge, im losing it bc i am being forced to keep my cool while a child whos pinching me and genuinely HURTING and BRUISING me laughs in my face bc he truly DOES NOT KNOW this, and there is NO WAY for me to convey it to make him stop at the moment!!!! thats maddening!!!

listen to me, neither of you dying or experiencing lasting damage is literally the goal every day, not just ‘raising them’, but that you both survive to the end of it. im appalled by how different the lifestyle is and the way ppl just... dont know that/REJECT that information so they get to judge. ofc tiny vulnerable innocent kids deserve the best, parents cannot always provide that if they want to Survive, bc they also deserve , basic understanding and humanity. you call out abuse all you want, theres a difference between the 'lesser of two evils’ choices, or even the genuinely Bad choices you can Accidentally make when at your wits end (which you should immediately correct anyways), and ever causing intentional physical or mental harm to the child, but the secodn yall start nitpicking or blatantly being ignorant to a struggle just so you get your blame validation in i literally cannot AFFORD to give you the time of day, im busy running on minutes of sleep, so if you think i have enough free time to entertain ur whining that my kids got a messy face and has been on his tablet in a highchair for an hour or w/e, idc, im using that time to shower for the first time in 2 weeks bc nobody else is gonna be there for me to let me do that shit :) so frankly put your money where your mouth is and help struggling parents whenever you can. i cant make shit better out of thin air.

“oh, but i dont have the money to help you.” YOU THINK IM AFFORDING CHILDCARE?? YOU CAN COME OVER AND HELP DIRECTLY WHILE I DO CHORES. “oh, but i dont wanna babysit for my friends, i dont like kids.” OH REALLY?????? OH YOU DONT LIKE KIDS??? BC THEYRE DIFFICULT MAYBE ??? SO MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT JUDGE WHEN ITS HARD THEN????? LIKE YOU RLY THINK JUST ‘LIKING THEM’ SUDDENLY MAKES IT EASY FOR ME?? YOU THINK ME FINDING MY NEPHEW CUTE AND LOVING HIM AND HIS LAUGHTER GIVES ME FUCKING SUPERMAN POWERS TO DEAL WITH THIS???????? “but You chose to have kids” rt in my case i literally didnt and would be homeless if not offering to help care for them but HEY COOL CONCEPT PRO CHOICE KINDA FUCKIN INCLUDES WHEN PEOPLE ‘CHOOSE’ TO HAVE KIDS EVEN WHEN THEY STRUGGLE AFTER, TOO LATE TO FUCKIN COMPLAIN NOW, JUST HELP A BITCH OUT. LIke... bro BRO b R O im losing it stop giving parents the inspiration porn treatment while disrespecting the actual struggles they go thru any time the child actually suffers bc they are unable to shield them from their struggle. can i be real, life literally will not go without struggle. you cannot raise them to have a life better than what the world is, you can do your best but you really cant MAKE it fair. once again this is not a ‘raise the perfect child’ contest you are just . trying to raise them at all. its messy. every single day you will have successes and failures, and you’ll be running on empty, and you’ll be doing that just to make it through to do it again tomorrow, while it slowly (AGONIZINGLY SLOWLY) gets easier each day. im tired of pretending lmao i dont wanna hear you bitches judge parents anymore, i dont wanna hear the stupid ass ‘im allowed to’ shit anymore dude!!!!! for gods sake i can agree with you when some shits just plain wrong but ill never apologize for standing up for myself or other struggling parents even if it makes you uncomfy, i can care about Both the child and the parent at the same time, ig i wont ask you why you seemingly cant. 😶 ESPECIALLY when things like classism and ableism tie in so often with these situations. not to mention racism like im white but hoooo if i hear one more story about a black parents ‘negligence’ in efforts of just trying to help their family, like leaving their kids somewhere during a job interview or w/e, vs the white parents that LET THEIR 10 YR OLDS WANDER AROUND MALLS BY THEMSELVES... im gonna scream. im gonna fuckin scream. its so unfair. fuck off, stop the spiteful ignorance, change this shitty hateful culture.

tldr; you Can care about kids while respecting parents, even when they arent perfect. you can advocate for children while also advocating for parents, and in fact, you should fucking try.

#vent/ //#might delete later ///#ok to rb but. i swear to god if this pops off and ppl whine...... literally L I T ER A LL Y come take care of my kids #NO BETTER YET BC ITS ACTUALLY FEASIBLE!! FOR EVERY COMPLAINT. 5 DOLLARS IN MY PAYPAL #SO I CAN AFFORD DAYCARE. LITERALLY IF OYU CLAIM ANY STUPID SHIT BC I ADMIT ITS HARD TO CARE FOR SMALL KIDS #U HAVE NO EXCUSE TO NOT PUT THAT FAKE BITCHY JUDGY CONCERN INTO ACTUAL RESULTS. THANKX #anyways on a real note again this is a vent moreso than a disc horse post thats meant to be shared around so #its not perfect its just. my feelings over the past couple years dealing w this man #really fuckin tired of it i really spent so many years 100% on the side of 'i have critical understanding i get to judge'#no i didnt. no you dont. its not comprehensible till you're pushed to your own limit with childcare. i hate being that btich #cuz nobody wants to hear it. but its the truth swallow it #long post //

0 notes

jooheonies · 7 years ago

Note

nawar lover no.1 aka user shwhyuk uwu

bloodorangeki said: the lady formerly known as hyuccwoo, shreknu if u will,

send me a tumblr url and ill tell you what i think of them!

hhhhhh ok before i eben launch into this full love essay. i jst wanna say tht u truly are the light at the end of my tunnel sejung,,,,u make me so happy !!! Like i remember when i was losing my mind off of like three sips of pineapple cider and i legitimately felt like i was gonna throw up but then i was like … damn i can’t forget to text shannon and tell her about all this. and then i talked to u for a full hour or so while u called me a liddle babie nd i continuously whined…either way you truly have me under your spell you demon!!

okay so not to be. dramatic but youre so dreamy and pretty you remind me of rain and soft kisses on the cheeks and rose gardens and bouquets of flowers and soft sunlight on flower meadows and like! that feeling you get in your cheeks when you smile too much for too long and you get that permanent blush across your face! god that’s probabaly nonsense and not very cohesive but you have the same sort of colors…soft orange and light pink….you’re like a sunset on the beach right at the start of spring when theres barely anyone on the shore and the whole world feels really big and wide but even though youre all alone you don’t feel lonely because it still feels like the whole world(you) is poised right at the edge of your fingertips.

hhhh that also probably made very little sense but i dont care i love you so much and im very bad at expressing emotion (blame my virgo moon who hasn’t felt any feelings in over 18 years) but i still feel like always showering u in that sweet love and affection, despite the fact that im horrible with words and i have absolutely no consistency. I feel like it’s really rare to meet someone who literally changes your entire perception of the world but … damn here we are!! tlkaing to u is literally a part of my daily life its a part of who i am at this point :/

Anyways, friendships don’t really come naturally to me because I have a very weird perosnality where like. im simultaneously suffocating whilst also being very detached and it turns people off so quickly but..god we mesh so well i truly love you so much. i also tend to not write a lot whenever i make these posts bc im the kind of person who continously says how much i love you throughtout the convo (even thoguh ill ghost most ppl for a few days) so whenever i get around to writing these im like :// but what else do i say :// but this time!!! oooo i have so much to say i can never go into full loving hours with you bc you always turn things around and get me to start talking abotu myself and pretty soon we start talking about how i used to raise rocks as a kid instead of talking about how hot you are :/

so anyways firstly . those were just the intro pragaraphs im finally getting into my loving sejung essay :(( helloooo one of my favortie things about talking to you is how easily the conversation always flows ….us talking about shownus asshole and the questionable consumption of expired jello and orbeez at 3 am is most likely the more demonic things weve done while simultaenously being the more tame things…my head still aches when i remember that giagntic bruise i got from looking at that wonho+tentacles/changkyun+black hole sketch u made… god we somehow always go from topic to topic with absolutely no regard for cohesiveness and yet neither of us ever question it…we’ll spend hours discussing absolutely nothing …like that one night we stayed up for like three hours on rabbit talking about all the different mx stans and which member has the most stans internationally versus domestically and why….icons of developing complex sociocultural theories at 2am while occasionally mentioning “oh wow its late u should go to bed >:/” god its just that I always lose track of time whenever I talk to you…its like im so focused on that I Love Her mood that I don’t even realize its been 4 hours until I look down at my pile of unfinished homework and then back up at my laptop like. This was a Valid choice why would I pick ib math when I have a whole entire sejung talking to me. hhhh its just that talking to you comes so naturally and I always tell you all these quesiotnable things to which you always respond by first calling me a demon and then laughing about it and encouraging my stupidity. it’s also so so endearing that ill tell you about the dumb shit im doing and your first response is always to nag at me to be safe and take care of myself as if ill actually listen to you and clean a cut with alcohol, risking legitimate Pain… anyways sejung? queen of making me feel loved and noticed? MORE LIKELY THAN U THINK!!!!

hhhhh ok moving on now I get to talk about how. sexy u are damn….i remember back when we were first starting to talk and you sent me those pictures of yourself in that button up and I literally. I quite literally almost passed out in the starbucks while the barista was handing me my strawberry lemonade I truly almost lost it…nd right before that I was encouraging you to talk to the boba girl nd flirt nd be all spicie…but then u sent me those pics nd I was like for what reason would she have to impress boba girl when im right here … mouth open so wide in love that all the bobas are spilling out of my mouth :( not to be dramatic yet again when I know ive mentioned those selfies before but damn…those were so hot u unbuttoned like two or three of the top buttons and u looked so hot truly. raw me vore me behind each and every single boba store location hewwwooo u look so intense nd powerful im truly putty in ur hands not only would I lose my mind for u, I have already lost it

hhhhh im very much rambling and making very little sense rn bc its. 2:30 am and im sleebie nd I blocked all social media sites so id do homework bt I kept thiknning abt u so I was like hm the universe clearly wants me to write about sejung more even though ill have to post this in the morning bc tungle is blocked until then :// bt anaywas that also means I get to go into all the other thigns I love about u and all the things u remind me of :(( hhhh its so wild that I never actually aunch into full loving shannon mood bt I talk abt u so much w my friends theyre all. suspicious ,,,,

them: nawar u don’t actually like romance and u hate talking about people r u perhaps dating this girl??me, w hearts in my eyes laughing at smth ure saying on my phone: what

HHHH DJHFKSJDHF TAHST TRULY ME,,,,ALWAYS THIKNING ABT U,,,ALWAYS BEING BIG HEART EYES FR U,,,at any given moment I could be reminded of u :( I see a piece of paper nd im like huh I should do work then again is work necessary to live perhaps not but sejung is necessary to live,,,,me thinking abt u as I procrastinate every single thing ive ever had to do :D Like, ive never understood when people say that they hated a zodiac sign at one point, and then they met one person and they were like oh my god nevermind this sign is perfect but truly,,,I love geminis now ,,,I used to hate them almost as much as cancer nd now? geminis are all good ure so wonderful nd loving nd sweet u being a gemini saved geminis collectively,,

ill also neber stop talking abt how now matter how much I whine and demand attention, youre always jst,,,supplying it without any question like at one point people usually get annoyed, no matter how endeared they were by it at first, bt youre always calling me a baby (even though im older) nd giving me that sweet Love and Attention,,mmmmm my libra sun thrives under ur care :( hhhh also I feel it is important to point out I love. all of u,,,,like I don’t even usually care much for peoples voices or anything unless its like so deep it sounds like the grim reaper bc that’s wild u ,,bt anyways the first moment I heard ur voice I was. breathless I was so shocked like ur voice is so soothing nd warm its like. if the aesthetic of sunlight and honey and warm pies had a voice,,,hhhh im also not the type to really believe in things like fate nd destiny and soulmates and stuff bt that’s kind of what u remind me of ? in a? not weird way hhhhh so I feel like youre just so naturally in tune with people like nothing really catches you off guard and you roll with peoples different personalities and quirks and you always jst. mesh so well with everyone ure like the minhyuk of the internet,,,,nd like!! theres smth abt u that reminds me of balance and maybe its my libra sun always seeking peace and harmony in life but I always feel so relaxed nd steady whenever I talk to you its like . idk how to explain it!!! its jst so comforting!!!

I was originally gonna cut myself off at 1k but its too late for that now and im gonna put this under a read more anyways and its 3am now so I feel like. go Big or go Home!!! now im gonna launch into a long analysis of u! and ur smile!! first of all,,,its so rare nd wild to find someone who likes validating people more than being validated,,,,u finding my libra antics cute???hhhhh tahts so wild,,,,I could pout for hours nd u would call it cute,,,validating!!! nd the fact that you’ve read my writing,,,,excerpts from my demonic wips and youre stil friends with me?? you still talk to me?? damn that’s like. never to be expected any time I make someone read that tangerine fic they ghost me for a good month but I sent you pieces of that tentacle fic and YOU FUCKCING SKETCHED OUT THE LOOK,,,,,MY MUSE,,,nd also you tend to always steer the convo around to focus on the other person n dim a FOOL who almost falls for it every time,,,before I remember and make u tell me thigns…god ive told you so many obscure things from my childhood like that time I tried to eat a brick and yet you still,,,,talk to me,,,,who are u,,,,hhhh ure always so cute nd giving nd caring I feel like I could genuinely truly look like shit nd send u a selfie nd you would still be like WOW GORGEOEUS YOU LOOK SO GOOD THAT’S HOT!!! u,,,going out of ur way to make ppl happy :( anyways im a fool in love w u ,,,also not to be like. one of those old white boy text posts from tumblr but ,,,,hey girl,,,ladie,,,wamen,,,did u know? ur smile lights up my world? ,,,did u know? theres no such thing as u being anything less than perfect,,,why? because its impossible to be anything less than the essence of who you are. hhhh that’s the dumbest thing im ever written im cutting myself off that was too much this is like. 2k words so far and in all honesty I could continue but then id get gushier than that last line and nobody wants to see That,,,hhhh

this started out with. somewhat decent grammar like I used periods and I think I occasionally capitalized the first letter of the sentence but at this point its incoherent rambling it’s the inside of my brain every time I see u or hear frm u its like when spongebobs brain was on fire and all the cabinets and computers were going up in flames and all the little brain spongebobs were losing their mind that’s me right now losing my mind over you I wrote exactly 2k words in that whole essay,,,,im so fucking valid,,,,ananywas I love you if you couldn’t tell nd iim . somewhat satisfied at being able to vent all this love,,,smoochie,,smoochh,,SMOOCHIIE

#shwhyuk #ask game #HHHHH THIS IS SO LONG....#I LOVE U...BABEY...

2 notes · View notes

xefrosprotectionsquad · 7 years ago

Note

what are your thoughts on the treatment of the boy by Dammek?

mod spoon here !!! i know ur probably expecting like a short answer saying something along the lines of ‘its bad !!!! poor xeffy....... :(’ but im nothing if not thorough and i want to explain my feelings on the matter !!! the other mods may add on later if they please ^-^

disclaimer: i do believe what dammek has done has hurt xefros and i think that is so horrible bc xefros doesnt deserve that at all !!!! everything i say in this post explains why i sympathize w/ dammek and refuse to make judgements until we know him more. i do not excuse his behavior and i think what he has done is terrible but i think these things explain why just hating him is being unfair

first off: i see a Lot of myself in dammek. and i mean a L o t

in fact, dammek hate causes me a lot of heartache because it could easily be directed at me and the only change would have to be the name

in the past, particularly online, ive treated the people i care about like GARBAGE i just didnt know that what i was doing was bad until they would be like ‘ur a garbage person who treats me like garbage and i hate you !!!’ and then block me.

in real life........ i still kinda treat people like garbage sometimes

i say, all the time, ‘haha i treat you all so terribly why are you still my friends?’ and while it looks like im joking im really not

the thing is: its because im both unaware that im doing something wrong and that if i do know im doing something wrong i dont know the alternative

dammek seems to genuinely care about his moirail. he really really does. i have a Big Feeling that not one person has ever called him out for anything ! and that everything hes doing, while poor, doesnt look terrible to the eyes of other trolls because their society is so fucked up.

he probably had xef butler for him because xef had an interest in butlering and he was like ‘oh you like that ?? uh uh ok then we’ll do that !!!’ in like. the worst way possible

he probably wanted xef to stop playing arena stickball because it was dangerous and xef was expendable to every team. so he just. had xef do other things

he made xef that microphone for christmas, and my personal hc is that it lowers xefros’ voice bc hes trans !!! how wonderful is that

hes never said that xef should stop apologizing. did you see how upset he was when joey called it annoying ? its likely not something hes used to

dammek probably is focused on other things in his life and doesnt see the effect its happening on his moirail. and when it gets pointed out to him, its going to hurt real bad. r e a l l y bad

second off: i think a lot of people are forgetting this is alternia and are blaming dammek for some things that.... arent him

the alternia we’re used to is essentially run by feferi, who is kind and believes the hemospectrum is stupid

the alternia we’re seeing now is run by trizza, who hates lowbloods and is a tyrant

the hemocastes are a lot more enforced in this alternia ! this is likely a Big Part of why xefros thinks so poorly of himself !!! and it likely influenced dammeks poor behavior

there are no adults to help them grow. they get animals that can protect them but never speak. and popular media, which seems to mostly be trizza going ‘LOOK AT ME im perfect and if you dont think so then imma Kill You :)’

they also likely dont know what a healthy moirallegiance looks like

as we’ve seen in the comic, the quadrants are really hard to navigate !!!! and all of the moirallegiances we’ve seen have been... not great except for meowrails, and even then its kinda iffy bc of how overprotective equius is

i do believe the Ideal moirallegiance would be similar to being qpps in this world, only a romance, because i do indeed believe it is a romantic feeling

i just dont think they have any good models to base their relationships off of :/

lastly: dammek likely has severe paranoia and is running a fucking revolution and is a c h i l d (same age as me but im aware that im a child that is still growing)

dammek is an anarchist that believes no one should own anything and that there should be no ruler of alternia.

unfortunately hes a little hypocritical, seeing as he puts his sign on a lot of things and all of his guns glow his blood color, and tends to act tyrannical

but anyways, hes running a revolution in an empire that kills you if you dont mow ur lawn

if one thing goes wrong. one single thing. him, xefros, and everyone involved will get killed without a second thought

so his paranoia is understandable

he obviously uses code allllll the time because his fear is that someone will notice and kill them, and his cameras on xefros’ house and room are likely so he can make sure his moirail is safe

he randomly tests xefros just in case they have to run

xefros says that dammek is the one pulling all of the strings

thats a lot of pressure for a 14-15 year old, especially if the consequence for messing up is mass murder of you and everyone youre working with

hes also !!! a child !!!!!! doing his best !!!!!! all of his mistakes are likely because no one has taught him that theyre not okay, and hes been given all of this power and influence

hes a bronzeblood w/ a highbloods position and he is on a power trip

earth will bring him back down, jude will likely tell him hes a jerk and teach him The True Meaning Of Friendship, and dammek will realize everything hes done to his moirail has been hurting him this whole time, and he will be crushed

i know i was every time someone told me i had been hurting them for so long

aaaaanyways huge long super rant about dammek over, i do think that what has happened to xefros is absolutely terrible and it hurts to think about how long hes been suffering like that !!!! i hope he gets to heal from it and that joey teaches him true friendship... like gosh

#mod spoon #not xefros #well it IS but like. im still tagging it as such bc it is my BLECH abt this #hiveswap spoilers //#anonymous

114 notes · View notes

sorcieresque · 7 years ago

Note

12, 13, 14, 18, 19

What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: writing, drawing, edits, etc.)?

oh god i commiserate with casper on this one cause daisy is supposed to be super witty and super sharp, which i never feel like i live up to. smart and witty characters are really only as smart as witty as the person writing them and i know this is the wrong question to say this but like her i push myself really hard and rarely give myself enough credit so no matter how i write daisy’s dialogue i always feel like it could have been better, funnier, more concise, more poetic, and just more of it, cause she, like nick, never fucking shuts up.

most of the time though, when i go back and read old stuff i realize that it actually was pretty good (if i do say so myself) so i know a lot of the time my impression of her dialogue being lackluster has more to do with her/my impossible expectations for my own abilities… daisy’s only as hard on herself as i am hard on myself writing her. its an oroburos of perfectionism

re: drawing her, the fact that i choose a real life face-claim so i can never quite get her face right without references. her eyes are so far apart you guys

s o f a r a p a r t

How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

in ye olde h*rry p*tter au, she became somewhat of a (non racist lol) second coming of voldemort in the pursuit of power, glory and recognition, because i’ve come to terms with her being a bit of a mary sue and also because it was the logical conclusion of her character in that au, a relentless pursuit of something that was never quite enough for her own personal standards which made her aimless and wrathful. there was a lot less genocide lol for obvious reasons, but she did murder a bunch of people who challenged her and lighted the match that eventually led to the human world knowing about the wizarding world. what a way to go down in history. through this all she let go of nick because she saw her emotional attachment to him as a weakness, but when it came between proving herself and killing him she ended up saving his life instead at the cost of all of her power and took out her following in the processes. i know technically you can’t bring people back to life in the HP universe but again 1) mary sue, and 2) it really showed the size and scope of her power and the magnitude of her sacrifice, and i really loved the idea of adding onto the h*rry p*tter themes of love and that love is the most powerful force, but also that love washes away sins, that even when you’ve done horrible things you’re still worthy of love and love can save you.

after she saves nick though she goes to azkaban for 15 years and then she’s in house arrest i think for another 10, because the magic jury goes soft on her given that she no longer has any power, the magical media was an absolute sucker for that kind of love story, and also because the magical word is stupid and i didnt want her to spend the rest of her life in jail. she spends most of those 25 years trying to make amends with nick, who eventually forgives her. she also never quite adapts properly to living without magic

after that she just travels the world with nick and writes and writes and writes, including thousands of stories but most importantly an incredibly popular autobiography

SORRY THAT GOT SO LONG

i have a vague idea of what i want her to do in WSC but like, daisy is greater than life, she’s a historical figure, a religious icon, a myth and a messiah, the pursuit of worldwide recognition and power is SUCH a huge part of her that it’s going to feel so weird and… incomplete, if she doesn’t at least attempt some kind of massive, universal-stakes type of feat in this universe

i actually don’t want to give too many details because of spoilers, but my number one priority right now is giving her a purpose so she’s not so aimless, and that purpose is figuring out where she’s from and who she really is. disney pixar much? more likely than you think. and also hopefully pushing her towards chaotic neutral, or even, gasp, good? (unlikely).

If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

i’m having a hard time with this one for some reason but i’m going to forego speech patterns and say that

1) up until WSC daisy’s life had been an exercise in how much it would actually suck to be OP in a world where no one quite lives up to your level (she sees nick as an equal in terms of wits and depth and humanity, but it had always been an understanding between them that she had power and he didn’t. not in a threatening way, of course, just as something that is), so she is always bored and that boredom makes her difficult and petty and annoying and cruel and dissatisfied and self-destructive. therefore, coming to WSC has done wonders for her personality (lmao) because she’s finally among people who could rise up to her level, because everyone’s as weird as she’s always been and she isn’t alone, and most importantly because now she’s rarely bored. it’s actually quite hard to make her hate your kid because her fascination is always gonna triumph over her momentary dislike or annoyance, and she’s always a tiny bit in a manic state when she interacts with your kids (see: aud, reagan, moire, gabe) because they’re just so fucking interesting

2) layers. like an onion. there’s so many layers. she’s so fucking convoluted. i’ve talked about this before here and this is already so long so i don’t wanna get into it, but the crux of the idea is that there’s always more daisy the deeper you dig, and most of the time she’s trying to make herself as mythical and tortuously complex as she can make herself be because she’s both trying to protect the soft parts of her where people can hurt her, and because she’s begging people to see through her bullshit and reach those parts, anyway.

What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

i actually haven’t been writing her a lot lately cause my spoons are low, but the most recent thing that comes to mind is how much more into clea (shout out!) she is than i originally thought/intended lmao. it’s a weird combo of being desperate for friendship and connections, and also never having been around girl-aligned people she isn’t related to and therefore having this idealized version of hanging out with her ~girlfriends~ which involves a lot of lesbianism like scantily clad sleepovers and kissing each other to practice for “””boys.””

and of course there’s a more sincere layer of just being constantly fascinated and confused by how different clea is from her and trying to parse that out. clea and daisy balance each other our so well and i think they allow each other to be more like the way they want to be but are too embarrassed to say out loud. clea definitely lets daisy be more of the teenager that daisy is too proud to let herself be, so even when she acts prim and prissy and greater-than-life around clea, they still do a wonderful job of keeping her grounded. also daisy is hopelessly attracted to the whole 4d thing because she’s always been the only person around who’s not quite right, and there’s a lot of intimacy in that recognition, a weird convoluted self-love in seeing and celebrating in someone else what you’ve always struggled with yourself

What is your favorite fact about your OC?

just like w/ misha, don’t quote me on this because i love her! so much! so it’s impossible to pick just one but i just love… all her imperfections, not to be a massive sap (girl ur amazing… just the way you are…) but i love the things that make her weird and random and vulnerable and human, i like that she craves connections but has no fucking clue how to make friends, i love her weird obsession with unicorns, i love how convoluted her vent is because she thinks too fast to write things down coherently, i love writing her when her magic fucks up or when she’s so upset she cries or being awkward because there’s cute people around her or being comfortable enough to make silly jokes and just in general i love when she’s uncool and clumsy and a teenager. i’m gay!

#a-thousand-dreadful-things

9 notes · View notes

reachformyhand · 5 years ago

Note

SHARE UR ART ALWAYS.... ALL OF YOU... P L E A S E....

“Okei doki! But here’s a warning! It’s pretty long! So... if you’re okay with reading long things then here’s my story about my two character Rybocat and Miles!”

note: words in bold are lyrics to the song ‘Touch Tone Telephone’ by Lemon Demon!

I think it's time for you to know the awful truth The day they found Rybocat and announced him to the public. People came running from everywhere over the world. It was 1999! Why wouldn't they! They had just found not only a super computer, but a very cute cat one at the matter of fact! One that perfectly emulates emotions! It's the most advanced thing anybody had ever seen! The finest piece of technology! One with a conscious ultra super processor! They answer within seconds!

The truth about me, and the truth about you Rybocat found the attention fine. Eventually he was put on expedition for people to just visit him. He would help them or just chat. The people who wanted the chat though seemed to always just test his speech processors. Just to see how well he could understand everything. Several times Rybo claimed that he found the tests funny! He claims to be 100% natural. Nobody believed him considering he's all metal. They just thought the robot did this to stop itself from having a meltdown of "I'm just a robot." instead making it think "I am a person. I have a reason to be here." So it didn't self destruct itself

'Cause you're a brand new species The first time he's treated as a person. Someone real was a kid named Miles. He was apparently called a 'prodigy' which means he is much smarter than others his age. He may have been 16 but his mind was so much older! He knew how to perfectly calculate quantum physics. And the thing is that Miles didn't treat him as a robot. He treated him like another kid. They would have nice talks and jokes. They were friends! One day they were having a discussion and Miles said, "Ya know Rybo. You're not a machine at all. You're a brand new species of awesome cat! Super smart! We're a great team, do you think we'd be able to go to space one day with how smart we are?" Rybocat didn't stop thinking about that for the next week.

Big cat, space Nazis, Robert Stack Something that Rybo learnt is that Miles had a large fascination for Space and the Unknown. Things like aliens, bigfoot, supernatural theories. He believed that he can prove that they're real or at lease make them real with enough experimentation. Rybocat always supported him and would bring his own theories to the table.

God damn it, gonna snap, Leonard Nimoy Call me back (Call me back) Even though we talked about those things. Afterwards my scientist person who looks after me and keeps me powered made sure to always tell me that "You're just a robot remember Rybocat. And that even if that Miles child is smart. Some of the things he say are not true. He is just testing you." I knew he was lying. I could tell. The way Miles said things. He was always passionate about what he was saying and it was true but. The scientist man. Those words felt dead in and out. Rybo did not believe his caretaker and would continue chatting about the supernatural with his best friend Miles anyway.

I try to call you every day I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (Of my very own mouth) Sometimes when Miles was over he would just accidentally not respond to something he said because he was too busy being lost in the boy's voice and the way it elegantly explained his thoughts. Or he couldn't find the words of what to say because of he would wonder if the response would set off anything within Miles. He would try to calculate every outcome of responses. Sometimes the things Miles would say he just couldn't process and he would end up overheating! He couldn't think of how he was supposed too act when Miles would lightly grab his arm to show the newest sketch of a blueprint for his next project.

I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out Miles explains that his big project is gonna be a cool alien space ship. Because maybe if they looked like them. They could be picked up by the Aliens and prove that they're real by documentation. He believes its gonna work so much! He would even come in to see Rybocat with oil stains on his clothes.

'Cause I'm the right one On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone Rybocat would receive updates from the project on his paw. It can be used as a smart phone of sorts. He felt a weird buzzing feeling whenever he looked at Miles now. He thinks its called Happiness. But it's probably more.

I'm the only one On your A.M., A.M. radio Rybocat hears announced on the radio more things like him. Except all of them are different. While he's best suited for mathematics and calculations. Some of the others would excel at other things like Languages and Arts. Coding. History. Most of them had something that Rybo did not however. No emotions. Allowing them to do anything the humans asked them too. It set off something within Rybo. He thinks its... unsettlement and disgust. He wishes he could help them. Help them feel like he does! Have emotions and friends... Rybo suddenly had nobody visiting his centre building. They all went to others. There was other robo's that could do mathematics better then he did. And none of them wouldn't not answer because some questions made them uncomfortable. The only person who would come is Miles. He feels a large attachment to Miles. Miles said that the other robots were boring and not as fun as he was. Not as real as him. Rybo thinks he's experiencing what love feels like.

Oh, I'm crying now, authentic tears Rybocat was told by his scientist that he was going to be scrapped the next day. As they had better people to do his job. The other robo's. Rybocat was terrified. He spent the day crying. Crying real tears. Why couldn't they see that he was real and not just faking it. He was real and he didn't want to be scrapped. He didn't want to die.

They flow out of me when I think about you What about all the things he promised he'd do with Miles. Explore space, discover aliens, summon ghosts. Miles. He doesn't want to leave his friend.

'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand 'Cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this Miles would understand how useful Rybo can still be. He'd be the only one that would understand all of the little jokes they'd come up with. Miles is the only person in the world that understands Rybocat.

Oh My God I try and I try and I try to make you listen to me However when I try to talk to him he wouldn't believe me. He would just say that it's impossible to get rid of me. I'm the only robot cat with emotions in the world. And he doesn't understand why they'd get rid of me.

I try to call you every day I'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (Of my very own mouth) I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out 'Cause I'm the right one On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone I'm the only one, hey! On your A.M., A.M. radio Miles realised he was horribly wrong when he was heading home that night. He saw a little festival set up. They were setup and celebrating for the first dissection of a high tech robot. He could see Rybocat's name printed everywhere. He was so wrong. There was even a TV to show the livestreaming of it. He ran home. He riled through his closet. He knew exactly how he felt for his cat friend Rybo. He knew exactly the fluttering feeling he felt in his chest when their bodies touched when they hugged or leaned against each other. He knew exactly that the adults were going to kill him tonight. And Miles wasn't going to let them kill the person he loved.

Don't hang up yet, I'm not done Rybo flinches awake out of sleep mode when he hears glass shattering. He jumps off of the... admittedly pathetic bed/charging station now he thinks about it.

I'm an expert, I'm the one He spots Miles taking off a black beanie he had covering his entire face. "I was wrong! I... They're gonna dissect you and kill you j-just for science or whatever but it's stupid! And I w-wont let them do that to you Rybo!!!"

The one who was right all along "B-but no matter what you do Miles. They're gonna find me. I'm 100 percent sure that they have me microchipped." "Heh... Well. Can they track a microchip travelling thousands of miles per hour in a space ship?" "What!?" "Come with me! I'll show you!" "But-" "No buts! Anything is better. Even if we fail it's gonna take longer for them to reach you and i'd do anything to make sure you're alive for longer." Rybocat lets out a genuine laugh as he grabs his friends hand. He even takes the Beanie from it, covering his own ears with it. Miles says it looks good on him as they're running. This is one of these times where Miles is happy that he lives on a giant farm on the outskirts of town surrounded by cornfields. Because it makes the perfect cover for everything he's been doing.

Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Rybo was absolutely amazed when he reached Miles home to see a huge ship! Along with strange glowing creatures along side it. And... is that some of the other... Robots? "I can explain them later! All I know is that they tested it and it works! It works!"

Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you "You know what this means? We were right! The whole time!" "About-" "About Aliens! When you can communicate with them and explain things. They're even nicer than I thought! And the other robots? They heard about you and wanted to learn emotions too! They idolise you Rybo! They think you're amazing!" "Me?

And like you, I'm a genius before my time "Me? But i'm just... a stupid robot with feelings." "Are you kidding me?! You're the coolest fuckin' person in the entire world! You're the nicest and the smartest and I think I love you!?" "I THINK I LOVE YOU TOO?"

Disbelieving, that's the real crime They hear sirens blare after their admittance of feelings. It's then they decide to talk about that later and instead head into the ship and leave. Leave the place full of people who don't believe.

Pretty soon they'll discover me in the Super-Sargasso Sea Rybocat has one thing he loved the most about leaving Earth. The feeling of Miles hand in his paw. And the shit eating grin he let out as he watched shocked adults see the ship float up into the air and away.

I try to call you every day What can I say when the truth comes out? (Of my very own mouth) I've been working on a unified theory If I make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out (Now, now, now) 'Cause I'm the right one On my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone I'm the only one On your A.M., A.M. radio

. . . .

A long time has passed and Rybocat thinks that on earth it would be about 2030. He leans into a microphone while facing a hologram on his ship, sitting behind a desk. Microphones infront of them. Rybocat has even got a shirt and jacket. Along with the Beanie he was given years ago by his now husband. He leans into the microphone after hitting a button on the control panel on the desk. "Hello everyone! This is Rybocat and Miles. The Earth's smartest escapists! You're listening to 51.6 Space AM Radio! Today we will be taking questions about the planet earth and what it was like when we occupied it. Connection-lines are now open for contact!"

Rybocat loves his life. In space, talking about the wonderful things of the universe.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

And that’s my little story! I hope whoever reading this enjoyed!

0 notes

chelsanitys · 8 years ago

Text

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

#Anonymous #vm #fs

8 notes · View notes

magic5ball · 5 years ago

Text

Lucky Pong of PONG CORP

In the Year of our Lord 60,022, fifteen thousand years after the third Dropping of the Bombs, Lucky Pong of the latter day Pongses, 6th Scion of PONG CORP, had a most terrible nightmare. A vision so blasphemous he immediately jumped out of his nest and had his assistant sousaphone the board members- all 1600!- for an emergency meeting in his office at TOP-OF-THE-WORLDTM. The Simians of the Board soared there as fast as they could on genetically implanted wings, pterodactyls, turbosaxes, and all the other wonderful inventions of PONG CORP, to where Lucky Pong, still in his satin nighties, waited for them in the Boardroom.

“Gentleapes, Ladies.” The chimpanzee addressed them before they could so much as scooch in their sitters. “I have called you here in an hour of dire crisis. But first, a PONG CORP brand preyertm!”

The Simians rushed through the preyertm to the Capital, the Free Market, and the Holy PONG CORP, the once and forever true scion of Capital (may it forever guide them).

The ritual complete, Lucky Pong told them of his vision.

“A monstrous, despotic turn of events had occurred! One I had not ever considered possible even in the most absurd of circumstances. Of course I awoke right away, which is why you now all sit before me. Gentleapes, Ladies” Lucky Pong inhaled, the board staring in hushed silence. The idea their beloved CEO could show anything less than pure confidence was absurd to them.

“I had a dream in which PONG CORP did not known everything!”

The simians of the board, unsurprisingly, went apesh!t.

Had their stock NOT been rising exponentially for the past 10,000 years?! Wailed a gorilla.

Had Genghis Pong, Lucky Pong’s own Grandfather, not acquired the rights to Heaven and Hell in a fierce sixty year legal battle?! Howled an orangutan.

The current Pong culled their outrage with a blast from his goober-whistle.

“Ladies and Gentleapes, I chide you now, I chide you! This behavior is what I’d expect from Liberals, not Simians of the Board!”

Still, the Board Members perched in their chairs: eyes covered, so they could see no evil. Ears blotted, so they could hear no evil. Mouths adjourned, so they might not speak evil.

And indeed, they could not see, or hear, or speak evil, because thousands of quarters ago, Lucky Pong’s Great-Great Grandfather Hong Pong had outcompeted evil, forcing it to declare bankruptcy. For the past 1,000 years, it had scraped by as a maintenance worker in Lucky Pong’s toilet-factory.

“AS I WAS SAYING!” Hooted the indomitable CEO, bearing his fangs. “The implications for this are dire. For if I can dream of a place where we do not own everything, then by logical deduction, there must be a place out there that we DO NOT OWN!”

This was, of course, completely ridiculous, even in a world of where monkeys sat in board rooms nattering about market growth. But they did not question, because their brains had at birth been lopped out and replaced with PONG CORP brand Brainztm. These were fortified with a lifetime’s supply of vitamin C and came in over sixty designer colors, but were, in an ironic twist of fate, not particularly good for critical thought. So when the Board saw Lucky Pong quiver, they quivered with him.

The simian CEO took a swig from a pitcher of Earl Grey tap water.

“I request you all look into this matter immediately! Meeting adjourned!”

The board members loped away with their knuckle walks, leaving only the CEO to mull over the ruckus.

. . .

And mull he did, all the way back to his nest-palace, as the sun shone on another PONG CORP brand Dawnetm (Now with more vitamin D!). Oh, how the synapses in his brain fluttered and flackered! So much they sputtered sparks all over the floor.

And by chance, one of them hit a spider, which at the time was busy scrounging for flies on the carpet. The spider let fly a squeal, darting ziggard-zaggard across the carpet…

Right into the dustpan of Freddie, Butler-Domo of PONG CORP.

“What is troubling your mind so, Master Pong?” Instigated the glorified servant. “To stress the lifetime warranty of your magnificent brain?”

“A dream! A terrible dream!” shrieked Pong.

And he lay his pains on Freddie in a most obnoxiously eloquent manner. This was not an unusual experience for Freddie. Unfortunately.

“Well, funny you should mention dreams.” Began that servant. On the terrace, the PONG CORP ZunTM now shone high in the sky. “Because here, in my dustbin, I have a most remarkable creature!”

“Pray tell! Pray tell!” Howled the CEO.

“Observe!” the servant held up the spider. “The glorious DREAM WEAVER!”

The servant released the little arachnid, which, as spiders are wont to do, skittered over to a high wall, and started to weave its’ web.

“Me no concur.” The CEO, scritched his puzzler.

The spider kept to its knitting, uninterested in Pong in a way that perplexed the simian.

“Yes…” said the butler, “But also notice how the Web connects things. And how it holds. Stronger than steel, even!”

Once more, the synapses of Lucky Pong’s cranium sparked erratically. “So with a big enough spider, we could weave a bridge between dreams and reality!” He gripped his butler, motioning dramatically to where the ZunTM shimmered through an open window. “Think of all the worlds we can bring PONGCORP’s glorious LiteTM to! Marvy! Splendiferous!”

“Then we must get cracking, Sir.”

“And crack we shall!” The chimpanzee hooted.

From the nest-palace jetted out millions upon millions of PONG CORP brand pongo-birdsTM, darkening the skies like locusts as they traveled to all reaches of the Earth and its’ moon, issuing a fresh new order from the boss.

While the gene splicers and the chromosome men in R&D handled construction, Lucky Pong of the latter day Pongses, 6th Scion of PONG CORP had to endure the most agonizing burden of all: naming the damned thing. After an hour of spinning in his chair, throwing darts at random letters, he had it.

“AltechTM! The accumulation of all our greatest biotechnology!”

Three generations of PONG CORP low-level employees (a little under a month) later, Lucky Pong, growing anxious, was informed by bumblebee that Project AltechTM was near completion. It just needed his personal touches.

Lucky Pong always hated this part of the process. Whenever he made a new beastie, he would always have to go to the bio-labs, which meant mingling with the proletariat and their hideous mutations. A hazard of his job, he supposed. Still, the moment he saw AltechTM, larger than a football field, soft auburn hair, obsidian pearl eyes; body gently heaving under the weight of the 7D Algae-ChainzTM tethering eight delicate legs, the all-seeing eye of PONG Corp emblazoned on her abdomen; he knew she was the finest thing he’d ever seen emerge from PONG CORP’S dirtied birthing-pools.

She was perfect. And yet…

“Why are the eyes open?” the great CEO interrogated to the High Chief Brainsman, overseer of the project.

“Because spiders don’t have eyelids!”

The Brainsman would have snapped. Of course, he couldn’t splatter so much a syllable before Lucky Pong flung him out for his impudence.

A call for a new Brainsman was in order. But first…

Pongo-birdsTM pecked at Altech’s eyes until the great spider rattled awake.

“AltechTM!” hooted the CEO. “Awaken, my child!”

The spider stared, disinterested in the little monkey. Lucky Pong found this most unnerving, but continued-“

“In our corporation’s time of need, I have created you to spin a web between this world and all the realms of possibility yet to be blessed with PONG CORP’S glory! For a great, horrible injustice is wrought upon our fair business…”

One hour later, the spider was staring at the little monkey as if he had told just told her the secret to the universe was 67.

Lucky Pong snapped his fingers, and the Algae-ChanizTM flew off, clattering to the ground.

“Now- WEAVE!”

But AltechTM did not weave. She didn’t feel like it.

Lucky Pong sighed. Time to be persuasive.

Pulling out his goober-whistle, he breathed through it a loud, shrill, note. This activated the electric eel implanted in AltechTM’s brain, sending a billion volts coursing through her nervous system.

Still, AltechTM did not budge.

Lucky Pong whistled again, and from the hidden corners of the room burst his personal shock jockey troops, brandishing their boomprods. Pong had invested a great deal in this prize, and would not let it slight him so easily. He came prepared.

What he HADN’T prepared for, however, was the great arachnid, simmering, steaming, and finally, EVAPORATEING into the ether, leaving only a small electric eel flopping on the ground.

Everyone stood still, staring at the marvel that had occurred before their eyes.

The great CEO said noting, but seethed in fury as if he would evaporate himself. Lightning bolts shot from his overstressed head.

By the time Lucky Pong had calmed, 99.99% of the staff working on the project had been fired; only a single employee kept on staff to explain the debacle.

“W-well, sir,” quibbled the newly appointed High Chief Brainsman “T-the best I can think of is that it escaped by folding itself into another dimension where the lab doesn’t exist.”

“Bold-ur-DASH! The walls of this facility exist in all seven known dimensions!”

“W-well maybe there’s a-“

Lucky Pong slapped his subordinate, firing him on the spot.

“Villains and Treachery! Sodom and Gomorrah!” he barked all the way back to his nest-palace. Now, on top of everything else, there was a new dimension, on their very plane of existence, one his ancestors had utterly failed to seize the rights to!

He needed a break.

“What tires you, sir?” interrogated Freddie, seeing his master grungle into the nest-mansion.

“AltechTM! My beautiful, glorious, AltechTM! Adrift in the mists! The mists of a new dimension, yet conquered!”

Freddie patted his master on the shoulder. “Worry your head not, sir. The fault is mine. A spider is a PREDATORY organism. You know how those are, too clever; think for themselves. And eight legs! Sooooo many moving parts!”

From a nearby lamp, the servant plucked a leathery brown object.

“This moth, however! Dull! Obedient! Only six legs! But those WINGS! Why, if one were large enough…”

“…A single flap could tear the fabric of possibility! Rockenbach!” Finished the master.

And the pongo-birds filled the sky once more.

. . .

The moth was finished in record time- two weeks!-, which was a very good thing too, because AltechTM was popping back into reality, like an eight legged weasel, tearing PONG CORP oxygen-factories to shreds, shattering PONG CORP ley lines, and stealing away the best of PONG CORP’s think-tanks.

For the first time in millennia, PONGCORP’S stock dropped in value, although the simians of the board (those that had not offed themselves, at least) tried desperately to keep the situation under wraps, to no avail. Many PONG CORP employees, in fact, had cast their lot with the spider, with cults popping up like mushrooms. Yet, as world shattering as this was to the simians of the board, all that Lucky Pong of the latter day Pongses, 6th Scion of PONG CORP, could fixate on was his precious new toy, one that would surely best the villainous spider.

Even as the Lucky Pong and the simians of the board crouched before the Pong’s giant creation, now dubbed the GODMOTHTM, PONG CORP was at war with the spider, dumping Spore-bombsTM by the bushel on it, but to no avail.

“GODMOTHTM!” commanded Lucky Pong, and the dim-witted behemoth opened its’ eyes.

“Am I not your master?” he asked, to which the moth said nothing.

“Well?! Flap your wings, brute! Open the unexplored realms of dream for us, so that we may deliver our glorious brand to the multiverse!”

The moth, of course, complied, and…

The world shook as all across the planet, rifts to realms of dreams, places that might be, and all worlds of possibility were ripped into the fabric of reality.

The GODMOTHTM, in its’ dimness, had opened all possible rifts at once, without consideration of the consequences, because it did not have the capacity to question its’ master.

Apes screamed as they fell into the sky, or from suddenly being turned into a billion sardines, or suffered some other crude fate too gruesome to mention here. And the things that came from these rifts! Some innocent, but others monstrous beyond comprehension. Beings made of stardust and music, capable on murder just by breathing, they flooded into the Earth, bringing the eldritch rules that governed their home worlds with them. In this way the Earth was razed. All the assets, earnings, holdings, yearnings and dreams of PONG CORP shushed out in a great gust of multiversal wind.

Such was the end of Lucky Pong of the latter day Pongses, 6th Scion of PONG CORP.

…But for Altech, it was only the beginning. While cross-reality tempests scarred the 3rd dimension, the great spider waited in the bowels of the 8th, carrying the sad remnants of PONGCORP’S best and brightest on her back. Remnants that included, by chance, Freddie, former Butler-Domo of PONG CORP.

For immeasurable time beyond time, the GODMOTHTM flapped its’ wings, but eventually, it tired. Hearing the silence of the moth from her hiding spot, Altech finally remerged. And from her back sprang the brilliant minds, servants, and living toilets PONG CORP had cast aside, to repopulate the world, as their savior, using her webs, repaired the borders between the worlds of reality, dream, and everything in between. Her task complete, the spider left to the outer dimensions, where even now she will share her gifts and knowledge with those she deems worthy. As for the moth, it came to rest deep beneath the Earth, in the ruins of the old laboratory where it had been manufactured. And to this day, slumbers there still.

#Monkeys #spider #moth

0 notes