#so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday

[waywardsalt]

tbh i might go ahead and put dungeons in as a part of the bellum x linebeck fic's plot since like. 1) struggling to actually figure out a main plot and having dungeons as sort of bit points to hit and be little bits of fitting exploration and bonding and 2) i do kinda want to do dungeons. i like thinking of them and again i do think its fitting.

[limielle]

idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"

[phagodyke]

roommate throwing me the curveball of "I get the feeling ur a physically affectionate person and its ok if u want to cuddle sometimes" then immediately hitting me with a SECOND curveball of "I also kind of like biting people. so if u ever want that too-"

[miumura]

💭 — JAY AS YOUR BOYFRIEND !

thank yew sona for requesting 😊🫶

warnings : mentions of nickname “love”, mentions of kissing

— would take pics of anything (like a trip or smth) and be like “would’ve been better if you were here” LIKE SHUT UPPPPPP .

— literally is your photographer. he would snap pics from you left and right and is SERIOUS about it . “stop moving.” , “wait stay there just a bit i have a the perfect photo”. he just wants to document all the moments where you looked pretty, which is almost everyday <3

— heavy on the gift giving. he gets you something just because. its always his reason for it. hes so sweet shut up

— he would pick up on all the little details about you and what you liked. he found out your fav food? he’d try cooking it for you. he found out abt your fav song? expect it to play in the car as he drives for a date. he’s just!!!!! yes!!!!!!

— he would make you easily flustered without even knowing it. “why are you blushing?” as if he didn’t just do the most sweetest thing ever.

— LIKE brushing away your hair from your face when you speak. so ure like 🧍 and hes like 🤨 cause he does it all the time but he just knows how to make you stop in your tracks, even though he doesn’t know he had that effect on you why is he lying bro STOP.

— he’s always caring for you. like i mean it. he would hold doors of you, open the car door for you to enter first, just helping you with everything 🙁

— adding onto that, you’re his passenger princess. you will not get a hold on the wheel (maybe if you convince him, but he would still be on doubt) when he’s around. if you try driving hes like , ummm what are you doing 🤨? would kick you out of the driver’s seat as fast as possible. to make up for it, he lets you pick the playlist for you both to sing your hearts out on the road.

— would play with your hair any chance he gets to. like he loves brushing his hand through it. would be down to learn how to do your hair so that when you’re tired, he could help you if he needed to :( <3

— he would be so patient and understanding with you. like he is that person who is like just say whatever you can, i’ll form it together in words for you whenever you couldn’t quite express it. sliding down the wall

— tries not to raise his voice at you. would always talk to you in a soft voice normally which makes the others go 🤨 . like the favoritism??? but jay doesn’t care 😊

— random ily’s throughout the day. he just likes reassuring you even though he really doesn’t need to.

— back hugs back hugs back hugs back hugs!!!

— isn’t huge on the teasing bc he’s afraid he would get you upset </3 he would always tease you at the right moments though bc yk he’s joking since he never does it often <3

— when hes jealous, he’d just have his tongue poking in his cheek and pulls you closer to wrap his hand around your waist (without you realizing it). would probably tell you afterwards that he was jealous — leading to you teasing and reassuring him

— holds eye contact with you when you speak. like once you meet his gaze you just stop. and he casually goes “why did you stop? keep going, i wanna hear more.” and when you do he js nods and goes “there you go love” LIKE SHUT THE HELL UP . MAKING ME GIGGLE AT 1 PM .

— seems like a guy where he’d grab your chin to kiss you

— big on kissing each other’s cheek before he or you leaves the house. if he’s leaving, he expects a kiss on the cheek just so he could leave and just look forward to seeing you later. im screaming in my pillow

— a big spoon bc he loves pulling you closer to him as you cuddle / go to sleep. also whispering affirmations into your ear js bc he thinks it helps you sleep better it does

💭 — jay has me going delulu. please help.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @tnyhees @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa

[flipfliqyaoi]

Kicking my legs thinking about Hear Today Gone Tomorrow.... I need to talk about it

It is one of the TWO moments where Mondo lets us see how Flip & Fliq perceive eachother in a singular episode and it's so special to me gangg sigh(1 is this & 2 is Double Whammy except that one's special bc dude tried to fucking OD so they were just both tweaking the fuck out n well. Not sober, so)(more on that in some other yap sesh).

Over on Flippy's POV, where he's snoozing and dreaming of flying on an Alicorn, whilst outside there's like an earthquake sounding equivalent of alarms & sirens blaring from Lumpys house — when his subconscious mind registered those external triggers straight into his dream, it translated into Fliqpy chasing and slaughtering him with a helicopter with malicious intent, the LITERAL opposite of what Fliqs true intent is. (which is protecting the Host from dying), its also the first time he really acknowledged Fliqs existence (at least onscreen) AND ITS HIM FEARING FLIQ. THAT HE'S TRYING TO RUIN HIS LIFE AND HUNT HIM DOWN IN HIS DREAMS FOR SPORT. WHEN THATS NOT THE CASE. CRIES.

Meanwhile Fliq got shoved to front the moment they woke up (from the nightmare and not the actual sounds. which is rly funny that they made world's heaviest sleeper a consistent trait of his.. my seeper... my eepiest) (check Easy For You To Sleigh, but tbf he also woke up from a literal cookie crumb falling. I believe it's because they're used to ignoring loudass sounds like bombs and missiles flying by when they're getting some shut-eye but their ears are trained to alert the brain when there's very subtle sounds bc maybe someone is sneaking around and trying to capture them or smth, because they've been held hostage and tortured(?) before, as the flashback had shown in Easy For You To Sleigh) (another note why the fuck does he have so many sleepy scenes). When he start trying to kill Lumpy and pull the same fucking helicopter that was in the dream out his back pocket, upon chasing him, WE GET TO SEE FLIQ REACTING EMOTIONALLY TOWARDS FLIPPY WHEN HE SAW AN ALTERNATE VISION OF THAT DREAM WHERE FLIPPY WAVED HELLO TO HIM RLY CUTELY... guys he literally cried he literally teared up from just that he just wants Flippy to gaf abt him aswell soooo so badly it twists and pains him from the inside out that Flippy is scared of him. And it caused him to switch out IN THE MIDDLE of piloting that helicopter which could've been dangerous for Flippy (and it was they legit died in the next scene LOL) gang he switched out knowing he could be endangering Flippy to that situation. But honestly they're doomed either way bc Fliq got distracted and deviated from how he usually does his job and it fucked him up lowk so he had to switch out anyway

it puts into perspective how misunderstood both sides of this areee. Fliq wants Flippy to trust and care about him too and maybe get SOME nice acknowledgement after everything they've been through for so long but his form of protecting scares him away because it hurts his other friends anytime a trigger occurs. Which makes hanging out or celebrating or befriending w other people really fucking difficult cuz of his uncontrollable and hypersensitive PTSD triggers (check Party Animal, Hide n Seek, & This Is Your Knife). Which makes Flippy lowk be afraid and hate him more for it. for his protectiveness. sighs exasperatingly

THIS IS ALSO WHY Flaky's friendship with Flippy is soso so so interesting too because it's been hinted that they've known eachother and are friends for a consistent amount of time enough that Flaky is deadass the only character that acknowledges/KNOWS of his problem (check Without A Hitch), to the point where they get easily paranoid of Flippy suddenly going out his way to genuinely kill them....which, combined with their anxiety issues is NOT a good mix!! Yet they're still seemingly long term friends with Flippy bc im pretty damn sure they feel really bad that he's struggling this much and they just wanna be there for him (with caution lol, they're the only character that's aware of the dangers before it happens, check Party Animal [again] and literally any other time they've been hesitant to do anything, genuinely the best character to befriend Flippy because of how careful they are when it comes to interacting with people so um yeah!!!) (I also dislike when people portray Flaky as not being able to defend themselves bro have u seen them shank a literal shard of glass into Flippy's eye the moment they thought they were getting hurt by him. Along with boundaries like they know how to set them gang i swear!! pinkie promise!!!)

This friendship is mutual as also shown in Double Whammy where Fliq instantaneously switches out the MOMENT Flaky started screaming, and Flippy switches in!!!!! That does not happen with any other character that start yelling infront of Fliq/Flip!! Also Party Animal when Flaky exploded like a balloon it was the one thing that for some reason snapped Flippy in front too LMAO?? But yeah it happened twice and it was both Flaky so idk gang it must mean something right. :3333

Urrm yep!! Yeah I'm done yapping for today WAHOO >3<💚

[natalie-goodmn]

Next to Normal round 3 thoughts:

there’s a lot of things I noticed this time that I didn’t before but that’s just bc as a Natalie stan I must be looking at her the whole time

- I never noticed Gabe throwing Dan’s keys in Just Another Day before that’s SO funny

- I also finally saw Diana kiss Henry, she really WENT FOR IT

- is it just me or does the Wyndhams need to turn up their mics?? Maybe it’s just that I need it In My Ear Canal but I’ve noticed the singing is a bit quiet (I also didn’t notice this in Oklahoma)

- I love Gabe holding the microphones to Natalie and Dan during their I’m Alive dialogue. He might be a demon with the spirit of a dead two year old but he’s sooo silly :D

(this is getting long so more under the cut)

- something something Natalie playing her fake keyboard with the band’s piano behind her, something acting and pretending like she’s a normal person with a normal family

- I just realised that Gabe AND Natalie licks up Diana’s leg. Diversity win

- the parallels of Gabe and Diana reaching out to each other in Im Alive vs Natalie reaching down to her in Wish I Were Here (and maybe Catch Me I’m Falling) i feel sick,,,

- Gabe holding Diana in I Am the One like Henry’s holding Natalie, welcome back Freudian Gabe

- also the head kiss parallel with Gabe in Just Another Day and before he’s about to leave in I Dreamed a Dance

- the blood is so visceral but a part of me misses the bway staging too where they just walk off slowly and as dr madden talks abt Diana’s attempt. It’s basically the same thing but the reveal felt slower idk

- also man every time I miss the donmar staging of the one tiny bit where Dan’s going “Is this helping or? Di?” as Diana just walks off and back to the therapy chair. Idk it just felt like dissociation better to me, but I do like Ominous Circle Of Thinking

- I also love love love how they play the “I love you as much as I can” in this. They play it like a failed charm roll, and you really get everyone’s frustration and that she’s trying hard

- and then in Maybe when you see that Diana actually knows Natalie deeply bc she’s like her,,, hold on. Similarly, I love how the first person Natalie hugs in act two (I think?) is Diana instead of Henry. Me when the real story is between a mother and daughter (mamma Mia who)

- Diana rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘oh my fucking-‘ to Dan going “can you tell me what it is you’re afraid of” is maybe the best representation of anxiety and I’m not even kidding, MOOD Diana

- god I know it’s been in all the productions but I love how much agency Diana has, you rarely see it with mentally ill characters but she’s so funny and knows what she wants and I love her

- everyone’s said it, everyone knows it but JACK WOLFE god he’s amazing every time

- I’ve thought this both times, is it just me or when Gabe is silhouetted (I think with the music box) is his neck like inhumanly thin??? Like genuinely asking, I don’t think that’s Jack’s neck?? Is it?? Am I just misunderstanding human anatomy when someone wears a hoodie

- I’ve said it before but I Am the One reprise is one of the best scenes in musical theatre and it should end there. I’m a Light hater SORRY, I like the message a lot but it’s always felt like a studio note or something where they’ve been told that it has to be uplifting at the end or it’ll do badly and make everyone sad

- natalie,,, covering her ears and her big headphones. Autism. Also really love Eleanor’s portrayal of her anxiety. Instead of Jen’s anger, she has a hamster like anxiety quality to her (complimentary)

- also I swear I see no one talk about it WHEN GABE TOUCHED NATALIE’S HAND??? AND SHE NOTICES SOMETHING??? That’s new for this production right?? Theories???

- Natalie starting to tidy up Gabe’s toys,,, she’s breaking the cycle,, she’s the hope. And playing with them with Henry and showing him the bunny toy 😭

- I’ll say it. The “you’re like number one on my list of problems” doesn’t work that well if you don’t have Jen and Adam’s sarcasm. Too earnest. Banned.

- I’ve said a lot abt this Henry but I actually like this act 2! He plays him v desperate and anxious which I don’t think Adam does, it shows the stakes for act two. Also his arc UGH. From being a Dan parallel where he’s saying he’ll be perfect for her and that he wants who he knew and that he’ll stay anyway because he made a promise to,,, the dance and saying that he’ll stay bc he loves her and he doesn’t care if she goes crazy

- Also I think Natalie mouths ‘help me’ as she stops Henry from walking off in A Promise owwww

- also Henry apologising to the pianist after the recital (I think?) and picking up Natalie’s bag from the club 😭

[phinjeet]

* i often ponder monster from the id and the fact that Seemingly the mind machine waz originally made 2 help baljeet , but bc candacez problem iz more urgent they decide 2 postpone it n then we never see if pnf helped baljeet w hiz thing by the end . they allegedly already cured irvingz fear of the color lavender (funny az hez still afraid of it later , im also amuzed by the idea of them uzing irving az a guinea pig 4 their project) and after the dizaster in candacez mind maybe they all decided theyd had enough of digging in2 pplz brainz 4 1 day , or maybe they did do it offscreen n jeet iznt afraid of contractionz anymore but just keepz talking w/o them anyway bc he preferz it that way which i think iz a cute idea , nonetheless this episodez alwayz fascinated me bc of the wayz u could expand upon it

* i started 2 form a narrative in my brain where jeet , upon seeing in2 candacez mind n just how Much there can b , entire areaz dedicated 2 her fearz and anxietiez , the rampaging monster that waz her id , repressed emotionz , hell they 1st enter through the Jeremy Mountainz , getz apprehensive abt letting the gang in2 hiz brain out of fear 4 what theyll see , what he doeznt want them (or even himself) 2 know

* so maybe he endz up lucking out that every1z 2 tired 2 tackle curing hiz fear , or he intentionally dodgez or brushez off the idea , he could argue hiz fear iz Useful even tho it waz only rlly useful in the 1 RIDICULOUSLY specific circumstance where it could b uzed 2 shock him awake , but either way 2 hiz relief the gang dropz the subject 4 the time being

* it endz up coming back up 4 1 reazon or another , maybe knowledge of contractionz in grammar iz necessary 4 som school thing which az 1 can imagine would b a huge problem 4 baljeet , but another thing iz that phineas would b pushing 4 it az well . this could even b a few yearz down the line , and phin doez genuinely want 2 help jeet but hez also rlly curious abt hiz mind in general , specifically he wantz 2 look 4 potential proof that jeet likez him the way he likez jeet , yk 1 of the thingz jeet rlly rlly doeznt want phin 2 see in there . by this point jeetz trauma and self-loathing haz piled up , he knowz hiz mind iz going 2 b in an even worse state than b4 , but phin , lost and slightly jaded after hiz breakup w isa iz desperate 4 proof he can b loved in the weird n specific non-romantic way he wantz n that maybe jeet iz like him n he iznt entirely thinking abt the consequencez or baljeetz anxiety abt the idea

* he doez offer 2 not involve any of their other friendz (and make sure theyre not allowed 2 just wander in like they did in the episode lol) so itz just the 2 of them . inside baljeetz brain . 3 guessez 4 how much better that makez baljeet feel . jeet iz 4ced 2 confront hiz issuez az theyre laid out in hiz subconscious , at 1st trying 2 steer phin away from them so he doeznt start worrying but theyre very persistent bc hez 1 messed up little guy , especially when what theyre looking 4 iz specifically a Fear . phin seez baljeetz rezolve slowly chip away az hez faced w anxiety after trauma after self-loathing spiral after hushed admission of repressed hatred and rezentment 4 hiz closest friendz after twisted and monstrous self-image , phin seez baljeet completely unraveled , bare , unable 2 hide anything anymore , and the id doeznt attack them , but baljeetz own mind startz 2 collapse in on itself under the weight

* phin wonderz how we never knew , how itz possible hiz dear friend who he thought he knew so well haz been carrying and hiding so much 4 all theze yearz . through it he doez get what he came there 4 , amongst baljeetz fearz and complexez hidez the truth of how he feelz abt phineas , how much he lovez him , how much he wishez they could b more , and how undezerving and rotten he feelz 4 it , how much he shovez hiz feelingz deep down so they dont hurt him , ultimately only hurting himself more in the process

* baljeet thinkz itz over , that phineas hatez him , az phineas strugglez 2 make sense of what hez learned , 2 connect the image he knowz of hiz friend baljeet and This baljeet , whoz so terrified of hiz own thoughtz , so angry w hiz friendz 4 how theyve hurt him (how phineas haz hurt him w/o realizing it) , so ashamed of himself 4 who he iz , so hurt . so desperate 2 b loved . maybe thatz the 1st piece that fallz in2 place . that az selfish az hiz choice 2 push this situation on2 jeet in the 1st place waz , baljeet iz driven by the same selfish want 2 b seen and understood and loved , through all hiz anger and ugliness and shame

* baljeet preparez himself 2 hear phineas make the order 2 hav them both extracted , 2 wake up in the backyard and leave in silence or b ushered out , but the wordz dont come , neither of them can bring themselvez 2 say anything . the sky crackz and the ground beneath them floodz w water az baljeet criez . phineas rushez 2 him and givez him a hug hez been needing longer than he ever knew . the unexpected touch and frenzy of conflicting emotionz shockz him awake . phineas iz left alone n once hez extracted baljeet iz halfway through the gate

* this . kinda spiraled way out of hand lol OOPZ but ouagh . im telling u this could make a KILLER fanfic i just dont think im at a skill level where i could effectively pull it off . mayhapz i will try my paw at it 1 day . anyway . hashtag my muzingz

[muikitoo]

Sooooooooooooo...

so...

Are you still taking requests?...

Idk what you are comfortable with doing or not... But if you are ok with it, could you do a Rise Leo x Reader anxiety attack?

*Nervous anime sweat drops 👉👈*

Like, maybe the Reader has been masking emotions all day and when Leo comes over they break down or catches them mid break down... Or something like that...?

Thank you!

*Runs away-*

Anxiety attack

Leo x gn! s/o who is having an anxiety attack.

Warnings

Anxiety attack, but the rest is fluff and comfort.

A/N:

I was actually pretty excited to write this. I hope it turned out well enough

- When he finds u in the middle of an anxiety attack, he panics. A lot.

- Quickly goes and gets you some water.

- He tries to calm you down, without necessary touching you or doing anything that could possibly trigger you more.

- breathing exercises/techniques

- after youve calmed down a little he tries to use reassuring words and hugs u gently(only if u let him).

- "Its okay. Youre safe now, i promise."

- it rally hurts him to see you like that, he loves you more than anything.

- After some time he'll ask to talk to you about what happened, if you dont wana talk abt it then he'll try and distract u/make u feel better (movies, games, cuddles, ect) and then talk about it whenever you need

Leo decided to visit you, worried. You hadn't texted or called him in a while. He thought you were just busy bc of school and that you'd visit the lair after your classes ended, but you never did.

Once he entered your apartment/house - it was awfully quiet. He felt his heart start to race, thinking about everything that couldve possibly happened. "Y/n? Hermosa? You home?" He said nervously. He was afraid, which he usually masks well, but this time he couldnt even think of that. He needed to make sure youre okay. The more he got closer to your room, the more he could hear faint sobs. He entered your room and saw you on the floor, shaking.

"Y/n!" He was quick to be by your side. He was confused and didnt want to touch you or do anything triggering. He quickly ran to the kitchen to grab you some water. He helped you drink some and then set the cup down somewhere and then turned his attention back to you. "Breathe, love. Breathe." He made you look at him as he told you to follow his instructions, breathing slowly - in and out.

"hey, do you mind if i hold you for a little while?" He asked after youve calmed down a bit. After getting your approval, he slightly scooted towards you and gently layed your head on his plastron, wrapping his arms around you. "Do you mind telling me what happened? Or do you want to talk about it later? As you amazing and handsome boyfriend i want to be here for you through this and help you anyway i can!" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little and wanting to earn atleast a small smile from you. You let out a shaky giggle, telling him about your stressful day and everything that happened during the classes. He listened carefully, petting your hair and humming every once in a while to let you know he's listening.

After having a talk and making sure youre okay, you decided to watch a movie. "You know what? Ill be generous today and let my amazing s/o pick whatever movie you want." He smirked as he pecked your head, getting comfortable in the sheets as he handed you the remote.

A/N: i wrote this in school so it was rushed. Im not that educated in stuff like this so if i got something wrong please correct me without being rude.

[kroosluvr]

i'm genuinely curious I WANT YOU to outline how the shu/ake/sumi romance/and-or/situationship would unfurl in a post-p5r reality (where akechi lives, of course). what are the bullet points for what would happen between them. would they have a falling out. are they doomed. would they be horrible at communicating. would they finally be good at it. which pairing comes together first, if any at all. or would all 3 pairings happen at the same time at the same pace. or are they all in a limbo, not romantic nor platonic but a secret third thing.

OMG HI. HIIIII ok so. i havent actually thought about it that much (SURPRISING I KNOW) because i honestly suck ass at timelines (in regards to canon. tennis au on the other hand...) BUT I WILL DO MY BEST a lot of this is loose too.... im totally up for most anything but this is how i see it most of hte time heheeh (TY FOR THE ASK I LOVE THINKIJGN ABT THESE 3.)

this is .. kinda.. long.. ahem

pre-p5r: sumire is acquainted with goro thru her dad's show: they're not friends, but she's talked with him more than her sister. so when goro meets 'kasumi' at the cafe something strikes him as odd but it doesn't quite register: like ehhhh well why should i care / maybe my memory is just wrong / not worth my time

during p5r: 'kasumi' has a crush on akira, a kind of on-the-surface adoration of "wow i think you're really cool and we get along well!" nothing that's super advanced on or anything, and akira doesn't see her as anything beyond friends anyway.

she drops the crush upon reverting back to sumire, and it builds slowly over the course of 3rd sem but is also never really actualized - like she likes him ok whatever but then what..??

3rd sem (long winter au): long winter barebones: maruki's idealized world starts like on christmas or smth (havent thought this out TOO much LOL) and royaltrio-centric part of 3rd sem lasts for quite a while, at least 3 weeks-1 month. how does this work w the timeline i have no idea. BUT it leads to tense moments like spending new years together with the idealized thieves and trying to stay upbeat during all that, all the attempts and failures at breaking them out of it, and a LOT of tension during this time.

they argue and fight and are irritated with each other a lot of the time (goro the most vocal abt it obviously, sumire kind of drawing back into herself, and akira doing his best to stay optimistic. i think when akira starts to lose his spark is when the others r like oh we gotta make up for that slack and they finally up their game a bit) and yeah even sumire argues with akira and with goro and etc. im figuring this out PROMSIE ill come up w stuff and draw comic/write fic for it...

also 1/9 sumire fight is probably the beginning moment when goro starts to respect sumire more/see her more as a friend/comrade than a teammate. bc she almost kills joker and then him LMAO really giving them a run for their money... and also he really sees the pain she feels at being herself and resonates with it, either unconsciously or consciously

also upon seeing her Past broadcasted on maruki live television:tm: he makes the connection and is like oh so that's what happened. so all this time she was just masquerading as someone else. hmmm

anyway they're all very fragile and scared and sad during 3rd sem so they stick to eachother closely bc they're all they got to lean on. i think they have a lot of skinship during this time? handholding hugs leaning on each other sleeping in the same room (they hang out at leblanc A LOT bc 1) they're kind of afraid of being alone during this time 2) they're afraid of the OTHERS being alone during this time 3) leblanc is "untouched", compared to other parts of maruki's reality. can u imagine if even goro's apartment suddenly became nice overnight LMAO) but its like no feelings attached, just pure comfort kinda thing

kissing could also happen during this time but also no feelings attached, purely Why the hell not etc sort of vibe.

also goro and sumire get on first name basis during this time. this comic i drew w goro dying in my head which is Why he initiates first-name basis, but we can operate off the idea that he thought he'd die but somehow magically didnt. YAY!

but they have impeccable communication w each other and are very honest with their feelings. (goro avoids talking about his past tho. so maybe not THAT honest.) but they all achieve a really strong understanding of each other to survive maruki's winter wonderland...

i do think they develop feelings for each other during this time but they're all confused whether it's feelings of like comfort/security with each other or like romance/yay. so like nightmare situationship basically. so they all individually decide to hold on to this happiness while it lasts bc they sure as hell know it won't last (when have any of them been able to keep good things)

3rd sem: the thieves join yay! i think they'd notice that the 3 of them have become very close-knit (bouncing off eachother insanely well in battle, talk to eachother casually, and are generally pretty affectionate with each other. weird but ok! at least they (akira goro.) aren't trying to kill each other all the time.

this is also nice for sumire bc she had those 3-4 weeks to kinda Figure herself (sumire) out btwn akira and goro so she's less like down in the dumps about not being 'kasumi' anymore and more secure in herself and stuff like that. yay!

they beat maruki and stuff. YAY!

post-p5r: akira moves back to his hometown for 3rd year of highschool and college, goro is who-knows-where (i imagine he gets back on his feet of his own making and then goes abroad for school somehow. idk just seems like smth he'd do esp since i think he'd avoid everyone during this time) and sumire stays at shujin for 2-3rd year, then probably goes to a uni in japan but goes abroad for 1-2 yrs (gymnastics and etc.)

the "goro doesn't die and reunites with akira/sumi" timeline

goro, walking into leblanc on 2/4 or whatever: hi guys i didn't die actually

sumire: haha why would u silly? lol

akira: WHAT THE FUCK

the end.

i think they do go to separate universities though and theyre like damn wait i miss those guys but they go thru school and keep pretty decent contact w each other and see each other during vacations and stuff when they can and then when they come back to tokyo it's like no time has passed btwn them and they just pick up where 3rd sem left off but like better and happier and more peaceful. YAY!

i haven't really thought of how they "CONFESS" or whatever but i think all of them just feel (TWINGE OF JEALOUSY) at the idea of any of them dating someone else so theyre like ok well thats that i guess. we're a thing now (they refuse to use any other terms like that i think. For a while at least. until maybe one of the thieves etc gets engaged/married and then theyre like ok we can grow up about this. but basically they're just A Thing and Offlimits:tm: and etc.)

COMMUNICATION IS GOOD HERE!!!! i think for sh/uakes/umi i prefer them becoming a Thing at once rather than 1 couple happening first (esp since i like the idea of "none of them rlly understand romance and stuff so they just say 'fuck it' and become Thing" like thats kinda funny asf to me.)

i also feel like to anyone else they just seem like a group of besties until u see exchanged kisses or hugs or interlocked arms/hands and ur like wait....? hm. well idk. (bc they don't either. no one has any idea)

the "goro doesn't die and avoids them" timeline

also in my head sumire doesn't endeavor for the olympics/world stage/international fame and just kinda sticks around national rankings while she still figures herself out (in this timeline. also probably true for the other one but shrug IT CLD GO EITHER WAY I THINK)

somewhat relevant is my shsm fic where i elaborate on sumire's emotions more during this time (especially while thinking goro's dead). <- actually this is pretty recommended cele sumire reading bc this basically totally encapsulates how i see her. the first oneshot is 6k words tho ITS A MOUTHFUL.. SORRY

she and akira drift farrrr apart. she feels extremely guilty and also bitter and frustrated about goro's death and the fact that akira didn't tell her (or goro, in fact.) and he feels guilty and sad about it too, that he should have done something? anything? for him or for her, and he couldn't figure it out and now its over. so now the two of them r grappling w this and trying to overcome it and forget each other even tho the memories during 3rd sem, although painful and haunting, still were sweet and nice and they don't want to forget but they HAVE TO MOVE ON... RIGHT....

meanwhile goro's probably thinking like "damn i miss those guys." but they also think he's dead so hes also like "this is stupid i have to move on(?) Or whatever." ok imma be honest i didnt really think THAT much into goro's thinking during this time (YET.) bc i think he'd be floundering a LOT with everything during his life and being kinda just miserable.

also during this time they try to date other people and it all is miserable and falls apart and also they havent forgotten about the other two so theyre like fuck.

akira - 25~, sumire - 24~, goro - 26~, eventually goro moves back to tokyo and kinda just goes about his life hoping he'll see them again. or maybe find out what they were up to and finally get some closure. wow he does! they kinda all go back to tokyo at the same time wow shocker soulmate things IM JOKINGGGG but they all kinda hold that sentimentality of ok so much time has passed maybe i'll feel better about this place now. and then when they run into each other again its like no time has passed at all. HAPPY ENDING YAY!

communication is less good in this timeline now they're healing from the "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD" stuff. so thats a whole nother can of worms. probably ironically in this universe they try to actualyl figure out how this whole romance thing works so they can label each other as partners and be like OK DONT RUN OFF AGAIN. ANY OF U!!! DO NOT!!!!

ok this shit is so long im so sorry. HI. SDGSHKJFHJKDSHG THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM BAWLING i really havent thought much of post-3rd sem stuff as u can tell........... but i WILL ipromise.

edit: LAST ADDENDUM im very passionate abt shsm being nightmare situationship. guys who never got together but got divorced 50 times. sh/uake fits into this category as well i think. i can also kinda see ak/esumi like that but ironically i feel like they'd have the most stable situationship out of the 3 individual ships..... idk.. need to let it all cook in my head a bit more BUT VERY PASSIONATE ABT THE SHSM THING.

[sillyblues]

I loved the fanfic of Ronal x Tonowari and [name], it's so wonderful and incredible that it made me cry. I really loved the new part where [name] meets a Na'vi who loves her. I was thinking about how she met her beloved. I called him Ha'wnu because it means protect/shelter. I like to think that he had a personality similar to Tsireya when he was younger, and [name] was like Lo'ak, feeling lost and very insecure about herself, that's when she met Ha'wnu, the beautiful Metkayina, who was a respected young warrior. I imagined them getting very close while Ronal and Tonowari were together. They went to the same place where Tsireya said "I see you" to Lo'ak, my Eywa, I think Ha'wnu said "I see you [name]". Both [name] and Ha'wnu became great warriors, they became very respected. It's funny to think that when the Sully family came to ask for shelter, they found two Metkayina with lots of tattoos. And also Rotxo being [name]'s son, I see [name] and Ha'wnu talking to Rotxo after what he and his friends did to Lo'ak. I would love to see more [name] with her partner, and the arrival of the Sully family... I love your fanfic.

totw au pt.2

ੈ✩‧₊˚notes: YOOO!! omg i am so happy and glad you love my fic ughh tysm!!😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 also your Ha'wnu?? read and him are so cute together JKSGKSBDFJ

Aight so i never really expanded much on the alternate ending where you ended up with another because technically, it didn’t happen and i intentionally left some descriptions vague so you guys could fill it up with your imaginations on who your partner is and who your children are and im so happy that i got to see one of your visions to this ending!! If u got some more don’t be afraid to hit my inbox up anon or not bc id love to talk and share abt it all with yall!!

Okay so in this ending, i initially thought a gentle and soft mate like the reader, someone who is not a hunter and is by your side most of the time would be good for you and is great about communication and affirms you in all the best ways possible (the opposite of tonowari and ronal initially—). But now that i thought about it more i think a strong hunter, someone who would be Tonowari’s right hand man would suit reader more bc i am weak to gentle and soft reader x strong gruff man pairings yfm? Also its like a loop to the reader’s parents who are a teacher and the Olo’eyktan’s right hand man (maybe the previous olo’eyktan and tsahik loved your mother and had to watch their son suffer from the same pain as they did who knows)

When the sully family came to the Metkayina Clan, your family was assigned to teach them of the ways of your people alongside with the Tonowari’s family considering the one that asked for uturu is Jake Sully, the Toruk Makto. It was absolute hell for them yk because the love they had for you never went away and they were so close to you, skin almost touching, made you laugh a couple of times and sometimes, they like to think that you were mated to them. But that’s all they can do because at the end of the day, you aren’t theirs and they are not yours.

Your mate and Tonowari are quite close so they were fine with teaching Jake with the Tsurak. You and Ronal however… I means, Neytiri disliked Ronal for the harsh words thrown at her family. She doesn’t explicitly shows it but you could tell. You were more kind and understanding of their situation, their discomfort, despite not knowing full of the context why but you didn’t pry. You didn’t force her to tame a Tsurak when she didn’t want to and Neytiri was grateful for you that. When it came to knowing the ways of your people, Neytiri was more silent with Ronal but engaged more with you. You try your hardest to engage them both but sometimes and they appreciate it but sometimes, it just doesn’t work.

Your children, Ao’nung, and Tsireya taught the Sully children and it wasn’t that good but it wasn’t that bad either. Now, Ao’nung is a good child, great child even. He and his sister loves you more than anything and in their heart (Ao'nung would never say this out loud), they call you their second mother because you’re so gentle and kind and caring to them. Tonowari and Ronal loves them truly but they are the Olo’eyktan and Tsahik so they arent by their side all the time and they got expectations of their children. When the Sully family came, their strictness  and expectations got a bit worse since the leaders of the clan were cautious of them. Ao’nung is like the heir to the position of the next Olo’eyktan so the stress is high man. Naturally, he takes it on others. Your children help ground him and call him out and defend the Sully family.

Your children stop him with one mention of your name and Ao’nung just stops.

“What would the Karyu think?” “Sa’nok is going to be disappointed in you, Ao’nung.” “Sa’nu doesn’t like mean boys.”

The Sully children def got curious bc why is this mean little brat quiet and apologizes quickly as you were his mother? So your children introduced them to you and not even a minute in they were like “..ah.”

The Sully family is not stable. The parents were often fighting and the children felt so out of place in your clan. They all felt like they didn’t belong here. But you and your mate was so healthy and loving to the children you basically took them in on days where they didn’t want to be with their parents. 

Your mate is a strong hunter and teaches them how to hunt on his free time and their daddy issues are like “why can’t our dad be like this to us now :(( ”.  You teach Kiri and Tuk as well and they miss their mother who is so deep in her loss of the Omatikaya Clan that they feel like she doesn’t see them anymore. Your children help them all the time and they’re so friendly and nice and the Sully children tells them stories of their people back in the Omatikaya Clan and your children are like, “Wow really?? That’s so cool!! Tell us more!!!” You and your family make them feel like they belong and they love it but they also hurt after spending time with you because they miss the love in your family in their own.

You notice this ofc so you spend time with their parents as well. You listen to their pent up rants, their grief, their suffering, their worries and you were there for them. You give them advice to spend time with their children and to not treat them as warriors 24/7 because before they were warriors and a healer, they were their children first. You lowkey became a family therapist lol.

In conclusion, you a great mama and a teacher. 11/10 they all love u.

series-taglist: (tumblr won't let me tag some blogs so if you changed your username, please lmk!) @totesnothere04 @ducks118 @narutoboi @yeosxxx @fanboyluvr @ladylovegood-69 @northsoulss @thatfictionalwh0re @ghostlyworld @toodaloo432 @lovefromjazzy @greendino7 @neteyamforlife @vermilionzombie @vxncxntt @adaiasafira @tsuteysyawntu @mooniequeen @eywas-heir @arminsgfloll @dev1lm4n @myh3artttt @thehoneymushroomhealer @delightcandlelight @shadowmoonlight0604 @dae-dreamer @buttercup-beeee @ms5m1th @cryingwhilereading @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @manumanulau @ssc7514 @loveofvernonslife @cheolattes @bobaopal @riahpickle-blog

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[steelycunt]

hiii congrats on finishing writing your dissertation! seeing you talk about your diss journey has made my own lonesome research more bearable… anyway you can ignore this if u want but i’m curious to know about the word count for your dissertation! i’m still in the process of literature reviewing and sorting out the direction of where i want it to go but the word count has truly put a shadow on any productiveness to be made… anyway i hope you’ll have a well deserved rest after this! x

hii thank you so much lovely!! im an undergrad so the word count for my dissertation was 10,000 words, which excludes things like graphs/tables and citations and the abstract. here they're very strict about word count, so going over even by a few words costs you a set amount of marks automatically. as someone who has never handed in an essay which was more than 5 words under the max count its really not a lot to work with at all given the amount of components youve got to include and it left me with about 6,000 words to devote to my main body sections...i dont know exactly how your project works but my supervisor told me he wanted to split my diss essentially into a 500 word intro, a 2000 word lit review, 750 methods, 3 x 2000 main body chapters, and 750 word conclusion.

obvs is different for everyones projects!! but i found it easier to think of each section in terms of its personal word count as something to work up to, so that i avoided getting to the end and having hundreds of words to cut somehow!! and just cutting and narrowing my research like crazy. it feels a bit ruthless but for me at least there was truly just so little space to work with, and the size of a project i could afford to cover well and thoroughly was so small, but obvs preferable to attempting a larger (and maybe more impressive) project which you cant do justice...i would try not to stress too much about it, bc it will inevitably work itself out as you get a clearer picture of what youre doing, but also dont be afraid to make ur life easier by going really niche, and when ur writing just keep the specific word count for each section close in mind because its suchhhh a faff if u only come to think about the word count when ur done (which youre obviously not anyway so youre already golden there) and suddenly youre miles over it. good luck with ur project bab!! let me know how you get on and if youve got anything else ur wondering abt : ^ ))

[june-rambles]

i just have to tell u that i consistently go back to ur long post talking abt ocd emma because i agree with every single word and you understand emma swan so well LIKE U GET HER IN THE SAME WAY I GET HER. its lovely. i would love more rambles about it seriously

HI HI HI THIS IS SO. wjhjDSHJHDJHS? THANK YOU!!!!! genuinely didnt think anyone would care abt it but there are multiple people who do and im just shocked everytime..

i think my other long post was more focused on the savior aspect of it and how her family ties into it. i do have another rant i made specifically about the captainswan of it all. like i get into dark hook/dark swan stuff but the underworld arc was SO SO SO OCD EMMA. actually watching the underworld arc was when i was like this girl has something undiagnosed about her like actually: ok copypasting my rant that i sent to my friends who havent watched ouat bc its all i've got in the tank rn LMAO

"and then the darkness plot line:

emma is now trying to balance her feelings for hook and being a mother and being a daughter and being a sister and being the savior and trying not to give into the darkness but Hook, the fucking idiot, gets himself fatally hurt. so she fully gives into the power so she can save him.

because if she loses him, then its proof shes not supposed to be happy. if she loses him, she'll have to finally admit to herself that everyone around her DOES get hurt, and she wont do that. (im a survivor swan!). she can maybe see a future, if she squints, so she wont.

and so she does the very thing she swore not to do. the very thing everyone was afraid of happening. to save HIM. and she hurts the people she loves while doing so. but she promises to herself she'll make it up to them and she wont let them down after this. one last time. one last failure. and she takes everyones memories of everything that happened in the Old World.

also i like the parallel of emma saving robin for regina and its just whats expected of her but when she does it for killian everyone is hounding on her like THATS WHAT SHE DOES THATS WHAT SHE'S LEARNED SHE HAS TO DO. HER LIFE MEANS NOTHING.

THE WHOLE THING WITH THE DARKNESS IS THAT USING HER MAGIC MAKES IT WORSE. RIGHT?? WHEN SHE SAVES ROBIN ITS TO HER OWN DETRIMENT. BUT NO ONE CARES ABOUT THAT. BC SHES THE SAVIOR THATS JUST WHAT SHE DOES, CONSEQUENCES BE DAMNED.

SHES A LAMB RAISED FOR SLAUGHTER AUGHHHhh.

after hook gets his memories back and curses her family, she makes up in her mind to sacrifice herself to save her family and get rid of his darkness. like shes genuinely about to kill herself to do so. she talks to rumple and regina and all of that and shes dead serious.

and yeah, he stops the curse by taking in all the darkness and sacrifies himself. and emma is finally free of the darkness due to his

everyone else is moving on but emma is stuck there. she can't move on because hook was supposed to be her future. he said it himself. and regina is with robin and her parents have her baby brother and henry is still there but hes so much older now and shes just kind of. stuck. so she thinks its hook. the answer has to be with hook. getting him back would fix everything. thats her happy ending thats the only way she can finally break this cycle of losing the people she cares about (graham, neal, etc). she has the power to save him. like his parents save eachother all the time.

if she saves him then its kind of like this proof that she's her parent's daughter. because her parents never failed to save eachother. a lot of people dont like the line when she says "i will always find you" and mimicks her parents dynamic but i do really think it shows just how far gone she is? like shes so deep in her grief that shes holding onto the only identity she has left, which is being their daughter. (excluding being henry's mom because thats a whole kind of different thing yk)"

if i have more thoughts i will definitely share them fr frrr

[stupidrant]

RANT INCOMING!

I have to talk abt this as this has been in my mind for months and this i think is the only safe space to talk abt the fandom and their weird antics towards the characters/actors and overall games.Im not against criticism but theres a line between criticizing and going overboard with hating.

One thing i dont understand abt the god of war fandom is that they complain about alot of things not being “accurate” and thats doesnt make sense to me bc when has gow ever been accurate? I thought it was obvious from the beginning that SMS wasnt going for that and never truly will. Its always their own interpretation. They also have this weird hatred / ignorance towards atreus that i also dont understand? Yea he was a little annoying in the first game but thats understandable as hes… a kid. Ragnarok expanded his character pretty well imo and i feel like alot of these people for some reason cannot get past him in general? Maybe because they are afraid of him taking over the series and “forgetting” kratos (idk why thats in their minds LOL) or they just hate him just because. I feel like the fandom wants kratos to forever be this god who destroys things and whatnot and its all so weird. like they never gave him a chance. thankfully he has fans but majority hates him. Dont even get me started on how they treat angrboda. Its really so ridiculous to me that they can be so hateful for no true reason. they call her a bitch for yelling at atreus when all the women in the game get annoyed or disappointed in him atleast once. And they dont understand that she has only known this prophecy shit for her whole life and she couldnt do anything outside bc of the threat. ofc shes angry bro LOLL its also in her name like i dont understand 😭.  Atreus helps her get out of that mindset and assures her she can do whatever she wants now. Laya is so strong idk how she does it :( I also noticed they treat thrud as this “replacement” of angrboda bc they dont like her either cuz shes black or bc they hate her and everything related to atreus but as long as he has a character they can like thats not angrboda its fine. Its all so weird bc theres no competition between the two. There never was. I dont think they actually like thrud for her character they just want to be weirdos and i feel kinda bad for her and mina bc they really dont give a fuck. Im so shocked chris sunny and others even INTERACT with this bullshit of a fandom they are all really strong bc id say fuck all of you and go 😭 im not against criticism at all and i try not to take this shit seriously but its hard when you see a insane group of people take alot of this shit to the next level. this fandom is a bunch of whiny babies who hold onto their precious destroyer too much. The hate everyone has gotten recently is just so stupid and they often times try to make it their goal to hate. I see that SMS is trying to diverge their fandom to a broader audience and they are taking a bit more risks esp with atreus and i love that despite the backlash against him, they continued with his character regardless. I hope they do the same thing with the other characters as well and expand them no matter how much these people want to hate and act all high and mighty. I can understand certain critiques like the ending being too fast or maybe they couldve done blah blah better and whatnot but i think alot of people are overreacting and being ridiculously nitpicky with alot of things when it comes to ragnarok. 

Last thing and also kinda random thing SMS is very wrong for what they did to TC Carson and i acknowledge that completely and i hope they never do smth like that to any of the current cast either bc i would be fucking pissed if so LOL

[pixlpxie]

Pix I really need you to write a nasty non-con when yn being railed and tortured please I beg you, I've been looking for any atz member with this kind of thing but I can't find it, most of them are just when yn enjoying while the boys railed them but I need yn to fucking refuse [you can tell what my issues are 😓]❤️

Honestly i feel you so much i feel like most ppl are kind of afraid of writing cnc the way it really should be (im not talking abt atz smuts im talking in general) bc its still quite taboo, yeah cnc must be enjoyed by both parties but it should feel restricting and forceful so it literally feels like im reading rough sex and not cnc. I will write one (maybe multiple ones who knows) obviously starting with the main bitch yunho and try my best to depict a good cnc smut 🤠

[angfdz]

i have a lot of anxiety around drinking after going thru several shitty experiences w ppl who are drunk & then rude to me & also ppl who use alcohol to cope w life or whatever & it's like, to me, a very harmful substance that everyone acts like is the same as water lol

i mean i know im a pothead so i have no space to talk around like, addictions and dependencies but i just have a trigger around alcohol like i literally see it as poison sometimes.

anyway i talked to my bf abt the reasons why his drinking makes me anxious & asked him to reassure me tht if he felt it got out of control he would let me know & tht im not trying to limit him but just asked him to be very like idk /aware/ of the whole thing

and i was v anxious when i communicated this and stuff & now i'm still kind of anxious about it bc he went on a walk by himself and LMFAO then he stopped working and he's in the living room drinking the left over wine we had & idk it's like sis u don't even like wine...

is it about asserting tht u can do what u want? bc htat was part of the convo like, i was like, im not out here trying to limit u or infringe on ur freedom & i think, u know, substances people take are their own business

it's just this one in particular kind of triggers me

idk! i feel so stupid to have even brought it upwhen we were literally having the best weekend. but i was afraid of letting this shit fester but maybe i should have justi gnored it

like i know im the drama queen of "omg two beers? THREE beers?" but it makes me nervous.