#<- think it is these things in my eyes feels very happy but maybe not in your eyes so im sorry if thats wrong tags
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harrysfolklore · 2 days ago
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31st - hs
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happy birthday to the one and only love of my life 🥹🥹 31 omg! i hope he has the best day ever <33
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
You woke up early on February 1st, carefully slipping out of bed without disturbing Harry, who was still peacefully sleeping. The morning sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains, reflecting light across his face. At 31, he was somehow even more beautiful than when you'd first met him - a few more laugh lines around his eyes, his curls slightly shorter now, but still undeniably your Harry.
Making your way to the kitchen, you began the birthday breakfast preparations you'd been planning for days. You started brewing his favorite coffee and pulled out the ingredients for the banana pancakes he loved so much.
As you worked, you couldn't help but smile, remembering his 30th birthday last year - the big party, all their friends and family gathered together. This year, though, Harry had asked for something quieter, more intimate. "Just us," he'd said, "maybe dinner with family later."
The sound of footsteps made you look up, and there he was, leaning against the doorframe in his pajama bottoms and that old Rolling Stones t-shirt you loved so much.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," you scolded playfully, whisking the pancake batter.
"Bed was cold without you," he mumbled, voice still rough with sleep. His hair was adorably mussed, and he had pillow creases on his cheek. "Besides, something smells amazing."
"Happy birthday, love," you said softly, abandoning your cooking to wrap your arms around him.
He hummed contentedly, pulling you closer and burying his face in your neck. "Thank you, baby."
"Thirty-one," you mused, running your fingers through his hair. "How does it feel?"
"Honestly?" He pulled back to look at you, his green eyes twinkling. "Pretty much the same as thirty. Though I did find another grey hair yesterday."
You laughed, reaching up to touch the single silver strand at his temple. "I think it makes you look distinguished."
"Distinguished?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a smile. "Is that what we're calling it?"
"Mhmm," you nodded seriously. "Very sophisticated. Very George Clooney."
"Oi!" He tickled your sides, making you squeal. "I'm not that old yet!"
The pancakes were momentarily forgotten as you both dissolved into laughter, play-fighting in the kitchen like teenagers. Finally, Harry pulled you close again, pressing soft kisses along your jaw.
"You know," he murmured, "this is already my favorite birthday."
"It's barely started!"
"Doesn't matter. I'm here with you, in our kitchen, and you're making me breakfast. What could be better?"
Your heart swelled with love for this man who could find joy in the simplest moments. "Well, it might get even better when you see your presents."
His eyes lit up like a child's. "Presents? But you said we weren't doing big gifts this year!"
"And we're not," you assured him, turning back to the pancakes before they burned. "Just a few small things. Though..." you paused for dramatic effect, "there might be tickets to that vintage guitar show in Nashville you were talking about."
Harry's gasp of delight made you laugh. "Really? The one with the '59 Les Paul?"
"Maybe," you sang, flipping a pancake. "You'll have to wait and see."
He wrapped his arms around you from behind, watching you cook. "Have I told you lately that you're the best wife ever?"
You felt your cheeks flush at the word 'wife,' still not quite used to hearing it spoken aloud. After nearly a year of marriage, it was still your precious secret, shared only with family and closest friends. The ring on your finger was usually hidden away in public, and you'd both become experts at careful wording in interviews.
"Shh," you teased, though your heart fluttered at his words. "The walls might have ears."
Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "You know, I've been thinking about that actually."
"About what?" you asked, sliding the last pancake onto the plate.
He turned you around gently, his expression thoughtful. "About keeping it secret. Don't get me wrong, this past year has been incredible, having something that's just ours. But sometimes..." he paused, running a hand through his hair, "sometimes I just want to tell the whole world that I'm married to the most amazing woman."
You set down the spatula, studying his face. "Really? You want to go public?"
"Only if you're ready," he said quickly. "But yeah, I do. It's been almost a year, and honestly, I'm tired of not being able to call you my wife whenever I want to. Of having to take my ring off for appearances. Of watching you do the same."
Your heart raced at the possibility. "It would change things," you said softly. "The privacy we've had..."
"I know," he nodded, taking your hands in his. "But maybe... maybe it's time. And what better day than my birthday? We could post something simple, just us."
You thought about it for a moment. The past year had been magical, your private bubble of newlywed bliss protected from the public eye. But he was right - there was something exhausting about constantly hiding, about choosing your words so carefully, about slipping your rings off before stepping outside.
"Okay," you finally said, a smile spreading across your face. "Let's do it."
Harry's eyes lit up. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," you laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug. "But after breakfast! These pancakes are getting cold."
Later, after breakfast and presents, you both sat on the couch, phones in hand. You'd chosen a simple photo from your wedding day - just your hands intertwined, both wearing your rings, nothing too revealing but unmistakably a wedding photo.
"Ready?" he asked, his thumb hovering over the 'post' button.
You took a deep breath, nodding. "Ready."
With a click, your secret was out in the world. You both turned your phones to silent, knowing they would explode with notifications any second.
"How does it feel?" Harry asked, pulling you close.
You twisted your ring, which for the first time wouldn't have to come off when you left the house later. "Liberating," you decided. "Scary, but good scary."
"No more hiding," he agreed, kissing your temple.
"No more hiding," you repeated, then laughed. "Your mum's going to be thrilled. She's been dying to post those wedding photos."
"Oh God," Harry groaned good-naturedly. "She's probably already sharing them as we speak."
You snuggled closer to him, enjoying this quiet moment before the world would inevitably explode with the news. "Happy birthday, H. Sorry I kind of hijacked it with our announcement."
"Are you kidding?" He grinned down at you. "This is the best gift you could have given me. Now everyone knows I'm the luckiest man alive."
"Charmer," you muttered, but you were smiling.
"Your charmer," he corrected, then added with obvious delight, "Your husband."
"My husband," you agreed, loving how it felt to say it out loud, knowing you wouldn't have to whisper it anymore.
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liked by zayn, yourinstagram and 20,876,449 others
harrystyles Best birthday gift was marrying my soulmate almost a year ago. Thank you for keeping our secret. ❤️
February, 2024
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username1 WHAT THE HELL
username2 IS THIS A JOKE
taylorswift Finally!! 🥂 Keeping this secret was TORTURE. So happy for you both ♥️
gemmastyles Bbout time you two told everyone!! now i can finally post all the cute photos from the wedding 😭💕
lizzo YALL I WAS AT THE WEDDING AND HAD TO PRETEND I WASNT THIS WHOLE TIME 😭 CONGRATS AGAIN BESTIES
niallhoran The most beautiful day! Love you both!
yourinstagram Finally 🤍 Happy birthday to my husband (!!!) who makes every day feel like a love song. Thank you for choosing me, always.
username3 HUSBAND???????? MARRIED????????? IM SHAKING AND CRYING AND THROWING UP
username4 OH MY GOD THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG. REMEMBER WHEN HE KEPT TOUCHING HIS RING FINGER IN THAT ONE INTERVIEW??
username5 not me zooming in on every detail of this photo 👀 THE RINGS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL IM SOBBING
username6 the way they kept this secret for a YEAR?? we love a private couple
username7 HARRY STYLES IS A MARRIED MAN. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. HARRY STYLES IS A MARRIED MAN
username8 im so happy for them but also crying in the club rn 😭
username9 THE WAY YN JUST CALLED HIM HUSBAND IM SCREAMING
username10 not me thinking about how they had a whole secret wedding and we had no idea 😭 they're so powerful
username11 "best birthday gift" STOP IM CRYING THIS IS SO ROMANTIC
516 notes · View notes
poetic-vulgarity · 1 day ago
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ᎮᎥᏖᎩ ᎮᏗᏒᏖᎩ II- Kim Minjeong x Reader
Word Count: ~7K
Prompt: When Minjeong transferred to an elite school, she didn't expect to catch the attention of Y/N, the golden girl. Then again, she also didn't expect Y/N to be the root of all her misery.
Tags: slow burn; angst; drama; high school! AU; richgirl!Y/N; happy ending (?) Part I, Part 2
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Minjeong was ignoring Y/N.
That much was clear.
It started happening after the night Y/N confessed to her.
There were texts left on read. Calls unanswered. When Y/N called for Minjeong in the school hallways, the short-haired girl just walked faster and disappeared. When Y/N tried talking to Minjeong before or after classes, the other girl put her headphones on and focused on her exercises.
Y/N thought she hadn't ruined anything with her confession.
She thought she and Minjeong could work things out with patience.
"Maybe I thought wrong."
"Are you kidding me?" Aeri frowned, her arm wrapped around Y/N's shoulder as the two walked along the hallways. "From what you've told me, you've been nothing but lovely to her."
"Well, clearly, something went wrong." Y/N shook her head. "She seemed fine when we were at my house. We even went to a convenience store, and I walked her home. I-why would she just start ignoring me?"
Aeri stayed silent, not really knowing how to answer. Her best friend had been the happiest she'd seen her in a while. It didn't make sense that Minjeong would just ignore Y/N for no reason after that.
The only possibility Aeri could think of was that Minjeong had realized dating Y/N wasn't going to work and had decided to break it off.
The problem was that ignoring Y/N instead of talking about it was a pretty poor way to-
Aeri tilted her head, an idea suddenly crossing her mind. "Didn't you say she's friends with Jimin?"
"Yeah, so-" Y/N turned to Aeri, her eyes widening ever so slightly. "You think she told her about my father?"
"I mean," Aeri hesitated, "Jimin did tell Ning that she regretted breaking up with you... and she always goes after what she wants."
Y/N took her time to think her options through.
It was ridiculous.
Jimin was the one who broke up with her. She was the one who let their parents' business get in the way of their relationship. Two years down the drain because Y/N's father was elected as mayor and not Jimin's.
And now she was ruining her relationship with Minjeong?
Y/N shook her head, looking down at her hands, picking at a few loose skins. "Jimin wouldn't do that."
"Wouldn't she?" Aeri suddenly halted in her tracks, and Y/N turned to her in confusion.
She followed her gaze and felt her jaw clench in anger.
Walking right towards them were Jimin and her group-Yunjin, Ning, and Minjeong. Y/N felt a little sick to her stomach.
The group moved to walk right past her, but Y/N reached for Minjeong, her hand suddenly trembling.
"Hey." She tried to meet Minjeong's eyes, but the other girl refused.
Minjeong could feel Y/N's grasp on her arm but refused to meet her gaze. Her heart was beating out of control in her chest, a mix of emotions washing over her.
She didn't want to see Y/N.
She didn't want to talk to Y/N or get close to Y/N or get to know Y/N.
In fact, all she wanted was to forget her.
Because if she got close to Y/N, she'd only come to care for her more.
She'd only come to care about a girl who had done nothing but lie to her. A girl whose father had completely ruined her life.
"Can we talk... alone?" Y/N's voice was as calm as ever, but one look at her face told everyone that she wasn't very happy with the situation she found herself in.
"Actually, I need to get to class, sorry," Minjeong mumbled.
Minjeong felt bad about the way Y/N's face fell at her response, but she had a hard time caring about it at the moment.
All she wanted to do was get out of the situation and clear her mind.
Y/N's hand tightened around her arm. "Minjeong, please. I just need a minute."
"Didn't you hear her?" Jimin spoke up, wrapping an arm around Minjeong's shoulder. "She doesn't wanna talk to you."
Y/N clenched her jaw, her eyes darkening as she turned to finally look at Jimin. "What did you tell her?"
"Only the truth," Jimin replied calmly, her eyes never leaving Y/N.
Minjeong just stood there, frozen, as the two stared at each other. She was aware of her friends worriedly glancing at her, unsure of what to do with their situation.
"You had the chance to tell her everything on your own. You didn't, so I did."
"I was going to." Y/N's eyes fell on Minjeong. "Minjeong, I swear-"
Minjeong shook her head. "You had plenty of chances to tell me. You chose not to."
She stared at Y/N for just a little while longer as hurt filled up in her chest. "It's too late now," she finally said simply.
When the bell rang later that day, she pushed the door open and walked into class, ignoring the looks Y/N was giving her.
Their teacher was always late, so students were walking around the room, chatting with each other.
Minjeong settled down in her spot and pulled out her notebook. Her eyes instinctively rolled back when she caught a familiar figure approaching her from the corner of her eye.
"Will you, please, just hear me out?"
Minjeong tensed as Y/N took the seat next to her.
"Minjeong-" Y/N began.
"Don't." Minjeong found her voice again, her eyes glued to her notebook.
The last thing she wanted was to hear Y/N making up excuses, so she steeled herself and refused to look up.
"Look, my father did build your old school, and I knew who you were from the minute you set foot inside this school." Y/N decided she'd be honest and make herself heard. "I was friendly with you because I wanted to make myself feel better for my father's actions. I'm sorry. I promise you that everything I told you when I confessed to you was true. I really do-"
The room seemed to freeze as Y/N's head snapped to the side on impact.
Minjeong's hand stung as it left Y/N's cheek, the sound of the slap resounding through the room, and everything came to a standstill.
Minjeong could feel all the eyes on them, but all she could focus on was the wide-eyed, hurt look on Y/N's face.
Minjeong forced the words out of her throat, her breaths coming up shallow against the weight of the emotions in her chest. "You need to shut up and leave me the fuck alone."
She held Y/N's eyes for a second, taking in her wide-eyed expression. There was hurt in the other girl's eyes, the look nearly making Minjeong feel bad.
The moment didn't last. Once the door opened behind them and they heard the teacher's footsteps approach, Minjeong turned to the front of the room again.
Y/N looked down in embarrassment and shame. She stood up from her seat and wiped away the stream of blood in the corner of her mouth.
The slap had made her accidentally bite herself.
She moved back to her seat, ignoring everyone's eyes on her.
Minjeong tried her best to focus on the teacher and write down as many notes as she could. She had to keep her mind on something, and if writing down notes would help, she'd do it.
At one point during the lesson, she felt a pair of eyes on the back of her head.
It was a familiar feeling, similar to the one she had felt when she walked down school hallway earlier that morning.
Minjeong grit her teeth against the memory, refusing to take another look over her shoulder.
Y/N took the clue immediately.
It took her a slap to understand, but she did. She distanced herself from Minjeong. She didn't look her in the eyes anymore; she didn't try to talk to her or reach out for her.
Their friendship/relationship came to a complete halt...
For a full two days.
"Good afternoon!"
Minjeong's breath hitched at the familiar voice. It was Saturday. Why was she hearing this voice on a Saturday?
The short-haired girl looked up from her phone, and her eyes found Y/N standing there in her family's restaurant.
Minjeong almost dropped her phone in surprise.
She could feel goosebumps trailing down her arms as she stared at Y/N. The girl stood there waiting, an expectant look on her face, as if she expected her to say something.
Minjeong opened her mouth to speak-she wasn't even sure what-but her mother's voice echoed from the kitchen.
"Minjeong, you have a customer."
The girl swallowed nervously. Her phone went back into the pocket of her coat. She straightened her back and moved from her spot, making her way to where Y/N stood by the counter with her hands stuffed into her pockets.
The moment she came to a stop, a heavy silence fell over them.
Minjeong was sure she saw some bruising on Y/N's cheek and on the corner of the girl's lips.
Still, Y/N smiled gently at her and raised an expectant eyebrow, waiting for her to talk.
The short-haired girl's eyes were drawn to the bruising under Y/N's eye and on her lips. Her fingers twitched before she forced them into stillness.
"What are you doing here?" Her words came out harsher than she had intended.
If Y/N was taken aback by her harshness, she didn't show it. "I'm hungry."
Minjeong couldn't help but scoff. "And you decided to come here?"
Y/N stopped, looking around the place.
It was a restaurant, wasn't it?
"Is that okay?"
Minjeong's eyes narrowed, unsure whether Y/N was trying to mess with her head.
"There are other restaurants, you kn-"
A slap was delivered to the back of Minjeong's head. Her mouth fell open, and she turned to find her mother glaring at her. "Minjeong, why are you denying service to such a-"
The older woman turned to look at Y/N, and the latter put her most charming smile on display.
"-pretty customer?"
Minjeong's frown deepened as she watched her mother fall for Y/N's charm.
It was ridiculous.
Her eyes turned back to Y/N, who was looking at her with a hopeful gaze.
Minjeong clenched her jaw against the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her again. "What do you want to eat?"
Another slap. "Let her sit and get accommodated first," her mother hissed, turning to Y/N with a wide smile. "Sit wherever you want, sweetie. Minjeong will be with you shortly."
Y/N bowed her head thankfully, smile still there. "Thank you, Ma'am. It's a pleasure to finally meet Minjeong's mom."
The woman was surprised. "Oh, you two know each other?"
Minjeong opened her mouth to disagree, but Y/N beat her to it. "I'm courting your daughter. I was actually hoping to get your blessing."
She's what-?
Minjeong's face flushed with embarrassment, and all she could do was stare, mouth half-open.
Her mother didn't notice. Her eyes were wide, cheeks tinged pink as she looked at the beautiful girl in front of her.
"Oh, really?" Her mother glanced between them, her expression growing giddy. "Yes, of course, sweetie. Minjeong is a lovely girl-she can just be a little grouchy sometimes."
Minjeong's hands clenched into fists at the look on her mother's face.
Of course, she was completely smitten.
Her mother had always harbored an adoration for the wealthy and powerful, especially when it came to Minjeong's future partner. It was something Minjeong had grown used to, but it never failed to leave a bitter taste in her mouth.
Her mother ushered Y/N toward a booth and then turned back to her. "I knew sending you to that school was a good idea! Why didn't you tell me you were seeing someone?!"
Minjeong resisted the urge to roll her eyes as her mother gripped her arms, giddy beyond reason.
"I'm not seeing anyone. Y/N is an awf-"
Her mother cut her off, nudging her toward the booth. "I like her! Don't leave her waiting, come on!"
Minjeong gritted her teeth but gave in.
Her mom beamed as she walked away, completely oblivious to the storm of emotions brewing in her daughter's chest.
Minjeong reached Y/N's table and forced herself to take a deep breath.
Y/N's eyes followed her every step, watching her closely, completely entranced. She couldn't stop the small smile tugging at her lips.
"What do you want to eat?" Minjeong asked again, gritting her teeth against the urge to throw this girl out of her family's restaurant.
Y/N snapped out of her reverie, eyes widening as she cleared her throat.
This was a restaurant of what, exactly?
"I-uhh-" She looked around, trying to see what the other customers were eating, but she couldn't make anything out. "What-what do you have?"
Minjeong's eye twitched. The menu was right in front of her. Y/N was just too busy staring to notice.
Forcing herself to stay calm, Minjeong pointed at the stupid thing, her jaw clenching as the taller girl leaned in to look.
She could see her mom eyeing them from across the room, not being discreet in the slightest.
Minjeong wanted to be six feet under.
Y/N skimmed through the menu, eyes moving quickly over the selection.
"I think I'll have the dwaeji gukbap."
Minjeong nodded, ready to grab the menu and leave, but Y/N wasn't done.
"Also, the milmyeon, godeungeo-gui, agujjim, and eomuk, please. Oh! And can I get the dongnae pajeon and the guljeon?"
Minjeong rolled her eyes and yanked the menu away before Y/N could order anything else.
"What are you doing?"
Y/N looked confused. "I was... ordering."
Minjeong wanted to slap her. Again.
"What, you couldn't personally shower me in your money anymore, so you came to do that at my family's restaurant? Can't you be a decent person for once in your life and just leave me the fuck alone?"
Y/N just smiled. "Dinner's on me tonight. My parents are in town, and they brought a few friends over."
Minjeong clenched her jaw.
She hated how unbothered Y/N looked, how effortlessly she wormed her way into her life again.
If she had any shame, she'd just go home.
But no. She was there, flashing her money and privilege like always, getting exactly what she wanted.
Minjeong wanted to deny her service-kick her out, ban her from ever stepping foot inside again.
But the amount of food Y/N had just ordered... meant rent was covered for the month.
Minjeong hated her. More and more.
She was about to make that very clear when Y/N suddenly stood up and bowed, looking past her shoulder.
Minjeong turned to see her father approaching with a warm smile.
"Oh, fuck me."
Her father wiped his hands on the black apron tied around his waist as he reached their table. Slowly, almost carefully, he extended his hand for Y/N to shake.
"My wife told me to come meet my daughter's girlfriend."
Minjeong wanted to die.
"Hopefully in the future, sir." Y/N chuckled softly-a sound that tickled Minjeong's brain just right. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
She reached out, clasping his hand with practiced ease, bowing just enough to be respectful.
She just had to be perfect at everything, didn't she?
Minjeong's father was immediately taken in by her manners, her gentle touch.
Minjeong wanted to scream.
She wanted to tell him about the lies.
She wanted to tell him about the secrets hiding behind that polite, practiced smile.
But she couldn't.
The amount of money Y/N was about to spend-the dinner her parents and their friends were about to have-would keep her family afloat for another month.
And Minjeong couldn't take that away from her parents.
It all felt like a cruel game.
Her chest tightened as she watched her father and Y/N exchange a few words. His eyes gleamed with admiration as he looked at Y/N, and Minjeong felt the sudden urge to throw up.
She kept her gaze fixed on the table, doing her best to block out the conversation.
Once her father left-after shooting her an approving nod-Y/N sat back down, looking entirely too satisfied with herself.
"You're a manipulative liar," Minjeong tried again, her voice firmer this time.
Y/N didn't budge. "A manipulative liar who's in love."
Minjeong's jaw clenched at the words.
In love?
The audacity of this girl to even say that.
Her fingers curled into fists.
How could one person be so infuriating?
She turned sharply, stalking back to the counter to put the order into the register-only to catch her mother watching their every move, a pleased smile on her face.
That was it.
As soon as her shift was over, Minjeong was going to off herself.
Meanwhile, Y/N simply watched her go, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. Her heart pounded in her chest.
Why was it so easy to get under Minjeong's skin?
She dragged out her time at the restaurant as much as she could.
As long as she was there, she was fine.
She got to see Minjeong. She got to talk to Minjeong's lovely parents. She got to not be at home with her parents.
It was perfect.
Unfortunately, Mr. Kim had other plans. He worked as quickly as possible, insisting that Y/N and her parents shouldn't have to wait long for their food.
So, far too soon, Y/N found herself stepping back inside her house, dinner in hand.
"What took you so long?" her father asked from the living room, seated among his colleagues.
"I was quick." She replied shortly, carrying the bags into the kitchen.
Grabbing a plate for herself, she made her way upstairs, wanting nothing to do with the circus unfolding downstairs.
The following days were the same.
Y/N would come, order a ridiculous amount of food, and leave-only to come back again the next day.
Minjeong's parents were absolutely thrilled by her presence.
And Minjeong?
Minjeong hated it.
The anger, the frustration, the sheer distaste burned through her chest every time Y/N walked through that door.
But after two weeks of the same thing, the fight had drained out of her.
She didn't yell. She didn't snap. She didn't even glare anymore.
She merely stood behind the counter, arms crossed, waiting while Y/N placed her order.
"Food will take around thirty minutes to prepare. You can sit while you wait." Minjeong's voice came out flat, her expression unreadable as she turned away.
She walked to the kitchen, relaying the order to her father.
"She here yet?" he asked with a grin.
Minjeong let out a slow, controlled breath, doing everything she could to hold onto what little patience she had left.
"She's here," she muttered through gritted teeth.
Her father's smile widened. "Good! Take care of her for me."
Minjeong's mother perked up from where she was wiping down the counter, her eyes twinkling with excitement.
"Let me go say hi to her."
Ten minutes later, when Minjeong stepped out of the kitchen, she nearly dropped the tray she was holding.
There, sitting comfortably at one of the booths, was her mother. And across from her, whipping the tables, was Y/N.
Minjeong froze.
Y/N-cleaning?
Her mother sat there like she hadn't just handed off one of her responsibilities to a paying customer, chatting away with a warm smile on her face.
Minjeong's fingers twitched against the tray.
What the hell was going on?
She stormed over, trying not to trip over her own frustration. "What are you doing?"
Y/N looked up, unbothered, a rag in one hand and a spray bottle in the other. "Helping."
Minjeong turned to her mother, expecting an explanation, but the older woman only beamed. "Such a sweet girl," her mom sighed dreamily. "She insisted, Minjeong! Said she wanted to help out since she's always here."
Minjeong clenched her jaw, forcing herself to stay calm.
This was ridiculous.
She hated it.
She hated how easily Y/N charmed her parents.
She hated that Y/N was still here-in her space, in her life.
She hated that a small, stupid, buried part of her chest felt warm at the sight of Y/N helping out.
She exhaled sharply, shoving the thought away.
"Go sit down," she snapped, yanking the spray bottle from Y/N's hand.
Y/N grinned. "You're worried about me?"
"I'm worried about my restaurant looking like a joke," Minjeong shot back.
Her mother gasped. "Minjeong! Don't be rude!"
But Y/N just laughed, wiping her hands on her pants. "I'm just waiting for my food," she said casually. "Might as well make myself useful."
Minjeong turned away before her mother could see the glare she was sending Y/N's way.
She had to endure this.
At least until Y/N got bored and finally, finally left her alone.
Easier said than done.
Y/N was persistent.
At school, it had been fine. They didn't have every class together, and Minjeong could simply ignore her when she approached. But now Y/N was at her restaurant, invading her space, and it was getting to be too much.
The frustration built and built, day after day, until it finally snapped. It happened in gym class.
The basketball ball hit Y/N's cheek with a loud smack, and she went down.
Hard.
The gym fell silent.
Minjeong's eyes widened in shock, regret washing over her.
It wasn't a light hit. It was a ball thrown with strength, purpose, and precision.
Y/N didn't even remember hitting the ground-just opening her eyes to see the teacher and several classmates hovering over her.
Fuck.
Minjeong looked around as the commotion grew. The coach knelt beside Y/N, checking on her, while the rest of the class murmured among themselves.
Her gaze met Aeri's and Chaewon's, who just so happened to be in that class as well. Their jaws were slack as they looked between her and their best friend.
Chaewon was never known for having the best temper. So it wasn't a surprise when she stormed over, shoving Minjeong back with enough force to make her stumble.
"What the fuck is your problem?!"
Chaewon's voice echoed through the gym, filled with unrestrained fury.
"Stop it, Chae." Aeri tried to intervene, wrapping an arm around Chaewon's waist to keep her from doing something she'd regret. She was angry too-they both were-but getting Chaewon expelled wouldn't help anyone.
Minjeong's head snapped toward them, her mouth opening to respond, but no sound came out.
Her eyes darted back to the group surrounding Y/N. Her stomach churned at the way everyone was looking at her-at the frowns on familiar faces, at the unspoken accusations in their stares.
"Girls, that's enough."
The teacher's voice cut through the tension as he knelt beside Y/N, helping her sit up.
"Chaewon, Aeri, take Y/N to the infirmary. Minjeong, stay behind after class. Everyone else, disperse! Class isn't over for another fifteen minutes!"
Minjeong's heart sank.
She had never gotten detention before.
And now, because she let her emotions take control, she had made a fool of herself in front of everyone.
She stood frozen, watching as Chaewon and Aeri carefully helped Y/N off the ground. Even from a distance, she swore she could see the glares they both sent her.
Detention it was.
Minjeong tried to see the bright side of things.
At least now, Y/N hated her. She would finally leave her alone. She would stop showing up at the resta-
Minjeong blinked.
There she stood, in front of the counter, completely soaked.
There was a storm outside. The restaurant was practically empty.
What the hell was Y/N doing there?
"Hi." The taller girl let out, the corner of her bruised lips tilting into a soft smile.
A loud crash of thunder boomed in the background, and heavy rain pelted against the windows.
But Minjeong wasn't paying attention to the storm. Her focus was solely on Y/N. On the dark purple bruise marring her left cheek-a clear, undeniable reminder of what had happened just a day ago.
And yet, she had the audacity to smile at her.
Minjeong didn't know how to respond. Thankfully, she didn't have to. A loud gasp surged from behind her, and she stiffened as her mother rushed forward.
"What happened to you?" Minjeong tensed as her mother gently cupped Y/N's face in her hands, tilting it up to assess the damage. She expected Y/N to back away, to flinch under her mother's touch. But she didn't. She just stood there, smiling, like a complete fool.
"It's been raining so much these days," Y/N said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "I slipped and fell."
Minjeong's breath caught in her throat.
Did she just lie?
Y/N could have easily exposed her.
She could have ruined her right then and there, could have held it over her head like a trophy.
Minjeong had expected her to lash out, to finally snap and make her life miserable.
But she didn't.
She just stood there, soaking wet, a bruise on her face, and a stupid smile lingering on her lips.
Why?
Minjeong already knew her secret. She knew who Y/N really was and why she had approached her on that first day. She knew how rotten Y/N and her intentions were.
So why?
"You're completely soaked too."
Minjeong's mother turned toward her. "Minjeong, get her a towel and an ice pack, please."
Minjeong froze.
Her mother turned back to Y/N and ushered her toward a table. "You need to take care of yourself! Look at that pretty face of yours! And what if you get sick?"
Y/N chuckled lightly. "I'll be fine, Miss Kim. I was more worried about you, though. How's your leg?"
Minjeong stiffened.
Her mother had injured herself years ago-she had slipped during a storm, just like this one, and broken her leg. Even now, on cold nights, the pain lingered.
But how the hell did Y/N know about that?
Why did she care?
Minjeong's heart fluttered, just for a second. She gulped, pushing away the feeling, and stepped away to grab the towel and ice pack.
Her fingers gripped the fabric tightly as she glanced back at Y/N, who was still sitting, listening intently to her mother.
A nagging thought scratched at the back of Minjeong's mind, urging her to give in to this strange, persistent kindness.
She shoved it away.
"Here," Minjeong muttered, placing the towel beside Y/N and setting the ice pack down on the table.
She turned to leave- a hand wrapped around her wrist.
Minjeong's breath hitched. She looked down, expecting Y/N, but it was her mother.
"Hold the ice up for her, will you? I'm going to get her some soup to warm up."
Minjeong's jaw nearly dropped.
She could not believe what she was hearing.
It was pure karma.
She opened her mouth to protest, but her mother was already walking off toward the kitchen, leaving her alone.
With her.
Minjeong turned back to Y/N, who was still sitting, head tilted slightly, studying her with that same infuriating curiosity.
She sighed and reached for the ice pack.
A soft chuckle stopped her.
Minjeong's gaze flickered up.
Y/N was smiling-lips curled just slightly, dimples barely visible. She pulled the towel from her shoulders, setting it aside.
The sound of rain against the windows filled the silence between them.
"You don't have to do that," Y/N said, voice softer than usual.
Minjeong frowned.
"Just keep me company for a little while, please. I miss talking to you."
Minjeong felt it again. That stupid flutter in her chest.
Y/N had to be faking it. She had to. But the look in her eyes-
It wasn't the same glimmer she gave her friends, the playful twinkle that Minjeong had grown used to seeing.
This was different. It was softer. Gentler.
Minjeong swallowed, pressing the ice pack against Y/N's bruised cheek.
Y/N winced slightly at the cold but didn't move away. Instead, she smiled, shifting slightly to make space beside her in the booth.
Minjeong hesitated. Then, slowly, she sat down. Silence settled between them, but Y/N didn't let it linger."I'm sorry about Chaewon," she said, voice quiet. "She's... protective."
Minjeong tensed. It wasn't like she could disagree.
Chaewon was protective. But she was also right.
Minjeong had hurt her friend.
Her grip tightened slightly on the ice pack as she kept it in place.
"She had every right to be," Minjeong said, her tone cold. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard."
Y/N only smiled, leaning into the touch.
Minjeong's breath caught, her jaw clenched at the closeness.
How could someone she hated be so damn comfortable around her?
Minjeong wanted Y/N to get angry-to yell, to scream.
Not sit there and be friendly.
She clenched her jaw as Y/N smiled, "So you did mean to hit me."
Minjeong couldn't deny it. She stayed silent.
The rain outside filled the quiet that settled between them.
She could hear her mother moving around the kitchen, the clatter of pots and soft humming mixing with the sound of thunder in the distance.
Minjeong wanted to say something-anything. Even an insult would do. But her mind was blank.
The ice pack had started to warm against her fingers. She adjusted it against Y/N's cheek, pressing it gently into place.
"I still don't like you," she huffed, more to fill the silence than anything. "I'm not falling for your lies again."
Y/N exhaled, something unreadable flickering in her eyes.
"I didn't lie about wanting to be your friend. Or liking you," she said softly. "I just... didn't approach you with the right intentions. I'm sorry. My dad-he's not the best person. I barely know him. But I knew that he hurt you. And I wanted to make it better somehow."
Minjeong's throat tightened.
She didn't want to hear that.
She nudged Y/N's shoulder instead, scowling. "Just shut up and keep drying yourself. You're soaking the sofa."
Y/N smiled.
It wasn't much but it was a start and she was patient.
So she kept showing up at the restaurant.
She kept talking to Minjeong at school.
Interaction by interaction.
Brick by brick.
Until, somehow, impossibly-Minjeong let her back in.
Things got better.
So much better, in fact, that on Christmas Eve, Y/N found herself standing in front of Minjeong's house, clutching bags of gifts and food in her hands.
When the door opened, Minjeong just stared.
Her voice caught in her throat, countless thoughts racing through her mind.
"Y/N-what are you doing here?"
Y/N hesitated for only a second before raising the bags slightly, a small, lopsided smile on her face.
"I promised, didn't I?"
Minjeong blinked.
If anyone had told her that Y/N would actually show up, she would've laughed and told them to get their head checked.
She hadn't even expected Y/N to remember. The words had been brushed off as a joke, an empty promise at best.
But she was there.
With food. With gifts.
Minjeong's chest fluttered painfully as she took in the sight of her.
The soft glow of Christmas lights reflected in Y/N's eyes, and the crinkle at the corners of her smile made her stomach twist.
"You're crazy," Minjeong mumbled, before sighing and stepping forward, pulling Y/N into a small hug. "Y/N, you didn't have to."
"It's nothing." Y/N shrugged, stepping inside when Minjeong opened the door wider for her.
And if Minjeong had thought her parents were easily charmed by Y/N, her siblings proved her wrong.
Y/N didn't even have to say anything to win them over.
The moment they saw her step inside, looking like Santa Claus himself with all those gifts, their eyes lit up.
Minjeong watched from the side as her siblings swarmed Y/N with excitement, admiring the gifts all for themselves.
She bit the inside of her cheek to stop a chuckle, but still startled slightly when her mother suddenly gasped.
"YOU CAME!"
Before Y/N could even react, Minjeong's mother had grabbed her arm and dragged her straight to the kitchen. "Come try my kimchi! You like spice, right? I made it extra spicy this year!"
Minjeong couldn't help but soften as she watched her mother pull Y/N into the bustling house, filled with the laughter and chatter of her family.
The sight of her siblings holding their new toys, excitedly showing Y/N their favorite things about the gifts, made her heart swell.
She exhaled, shaking her head as she slowly made her way into the living room.
But even as she sat down, her eyes never left Y/N.
The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she fit so effortlessly into her world.
It took a while, but eventually, Y/N stepped back into the living room, her eyes searching for one person and one person only.
Y/N gave her a small smile. "Your family is lovely."
Minjeong stood from the couch, reaching for her hand without thinking. "They keep hogging you," she muttered, tugging her gently" "Let's run away."
Y/N laughed but didn't hesitate to hold Minjeong's hand. She smiled, glancing around as the other girl led her to her bedroom. The house was small, but filled with warmth and comfort. Y/N couldn't help but envy it a little.
"Thank you for all the gifts," Minjeong murmured, closing the door behind them. "You really didn't have to."
The silence was a welcome change, but it didn't last long.
Somehow, they ended up lying on Minjeong's small bed, facing each other, when Y/N reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, wrapped box.
"I didn't know what to get you," she admitted, "I'm sorry."
Minjeong let out a soft laugh, her fingers moving to gently take the box from Y/N's hands.
"You didn't have to get me anything, Y/N. But whatever this is-it's perfect."
The gift was small, wrapped a little messily, but Minjeong didn't care.
She was too focused on the way Y/N was watching her.
Nervously, yet eagerly.
She unwrapped the box, tilting her head when she found a guitar pick inside. It was gorgeous-an ivory color with the initials K.M. engraved on each side.
Minjeong ran her thumb across the engraving, feeling the smoothness of it.
She couldn't believe what she was holding.
"The guitar should be arriving tomorrow."
Minjeong's eyes snapped up at Y/N's words, her grip on the pick tightening.
Her brain barely registered what she just heard.
'The guitar should be arriving tomorrow.'
The words repeated in her head, over and over, as she just stared at Y/N, her mouth slightly open.
A million thoughts, emotions, words-nothing could properly form.
Y/N was crazy.
No-this was insane.
There was no way Y/N actually bought her a guitar.
Just the thought of it made her feel lightheaded.
"Do you like it?" Y/N asked hesitantly.
Minjeong was still staring at the guitar pick in her hands, her mouth hanging slightly open.
"I heard you tell a client you were saving up to buy one," Y/N continued, pulling out her phone and sitting up to show Minjeong a few pictures. "It's this one. I talked to a guy, and he said this one is good for beginners."
Minjeong's breath hitched as she looked at the screen.
The guitar was beautiful.
Glossy black, brand new strings, shining under the store lights.
She swallowed thickly, looking up at Y/N again-who was just watching her, waiting.
Patient.
The gift was expensive and gorgeous and thoughtful.
Minjeong's heart swelled, her chest tightening with an emotion she couldn't name.
So she did the only thing she could.
She threw her arms around Y/N's neck, hugging her tightly.
Y/N froze for a moment at the sudden warmth engulfing her-but then she melted. Her arms instinctively wrapped around Minjeong's waist, pulling her close.
Her heart skipped at the unexpected affection, her cheeks burning.
She closed her eyes and smiled, taking in Minjeong's warmth, the way she felt against her-her scent, her presence.
"I'm glad you like it."
Minjeong couldn't stop herself.
Her grip on Y/N tightened as she buried her face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.
It was warm.
Comforting.
She sighed, her heart pounding as she closed her eyes.
"I love it."
Her voice was soft, muffled against Y/N's embrace.
She slowly pulled away, her face burning as she looked down at her hands.
"I also got you something," she mumbled, "but it feels useless compared to your gift."
Y/N frowned slightly at that.
Minjeong shouldn't compare gifts. That wasn't what this was about.
Before she could say anything, Minjeong stood up and walked toward her closet, pulling out a small box covered in reindeer-patterned wrapping paper.
Y/N's heart quickened at the sight.
She could see the effort Minjeong had put into wrapping it-the way the corners were neatly tucked, the way a tiny ribbon sat perfectly tied on top.
Her eyes flickered up to Minjeong, who was now holding the gift out for her. She reached over and took it carefully, her fingers running across the smooth wrapping.
The box was light and small in her hands. "Can I open it?"
Minjeong nodded.
Y/N smiled softly, taking her time untying the ribbon, making sure not to tear the paper as she lifted the lid off the box.
Inside, there was a layer of tissue paper.
She gently pulled it back and her breath hitched.
A blue jewelry box sat inside.
Her fingers trembled slightly as she lifted it, flipping the lid open.
Inside, nestled against the soft velvet lining, was a golden necklace.
Y/N carefully picked it up, turning it over in her hands-
-and a small chuckle escaped her lips.
Dangling from the chain was a tiny, detailed basketball ball charm.
She swallowed thickly, her throat tight. It was so simple, yet it meant everything.
"You couldn't help yourself, could you?"
Minjeong smiled as she watched Y/N admiring the present.
Her heart squeezed gently as Y/N laughed and carefully lifted the necklace from the jewelry box.
Minjeong knew her gift was nothing compared to what Y/N had gotten for her. But seeing her like this-her face so soft, eyes full of warmth-made her more than happy.
The two stayed in Minjeong's room for as long as they could.
Which wasn't very long-because soon enough, her siblings and parents were calling them downstairs.
Y/N didn't linger much after that.
Christmas was about family, after all. The last thing she wanted to do was overstep.
So, despite Minjeong's mother asking her to stay for the twentieth time, she gently refused, saying she needed to get home before the snow started falling.
Minjeong walked her to the door, feeling a little sad to see her leave but too too shy to ask her to stay.
"Thanks for coming."
Y/N nodded, her chest feeling impossibly full. Minjeong had no idea how much tonight had meant to her.
She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Minjeong's cheek. "Thanks for having me."
Minjeong felt her breath catch in her lungs.
The touch was gentle. Warm.
The spot where Y/N's lips had been tingled, heat rushing to her face.
Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, trying to memorize the feeling-burn it into her mind.
But before she could process it, Y/N was already pulling away.
"Drive safely," Minjeong managed, her voice barely above a whisper.
Y/N smiled at her one last time before stepping out into the cold, pulling on her jacket.
Minjeong stayed by the doorway, watching as she got into her car.
And only when the car finally disappeared down the street did she allow herself to breathe again.
Time went on and Christmas break soon ended. Y/N was ecstatic to return to school after the break.
She couldn't wait to see Minjeong again.
As she walked through the hallways with her friends, there was an extra bounce in her step, a lightness in her chest.
They made their way outside for lunch, hoping the sun would warm them up.
"I don't know, I still don't like her."
Y/N paused mid-step at Chaewon's grumble.
She quickly exchanged an exasperated glance with Niki and Aeri before sighing. "Give it a rest, Chaewon."
"Give it a rest?" Chaewon scoffed. "Did you see the way she threw that ball at you, Y/N? That girl is dangerous, I'm telling you! What if she gets angry and throws another ball at you? It's psychotic. You were knocked out!"
Y/N shrugged, thanking Niki as he held the door open for her.
They stepped out into the school's wide garden, where the winter sun was shining brightly.
"She's got a strong personality, so what?" Y/N said easily. "Plus, she didn't mean to hit me that hard. And-" she grinned, holding up the charm hanging from her neck, "-she got me a necklace for Christmas!"
Chaewon snorted at that.
"A strong personality? She sounds like a psycho to me."
They reached an empty bench, settling into the sunlight.
Aeri gently nudged Y/N. "Just ignore her. She's just petty she's single."
Chaewon went on to argue that, but Y/N didn't mind them.
She knew her friend was just being protective-and she was thankful for that.
But at the same time, she was sure of one thing.
"Chae, Minjeong would never do anything to hurt me again. Trust me, she's-"
The words died in Y/N's throat.
Her chest tightened, breath catching as her gaze landed on a new sight.
It felt like the air had been stolen from her lungs.
Minjeong was leaning against a tree-not too far away.
And standing in front of her, with one hand gently placed on her waist and the other tangled in her hair, was Jimin.
Y/N watched, frozen in place, as Jimin tilted her head down and kissed Minjeong.
Minjeong tilted her head up to meet her, their lips pressing softly together.
Y/N could see everything, the way Jimin pulled away gently, the way Minjeong's lips curved slightly in response.
Her heart plummeted into her stomach.
The world around her blurred, sounds faded into nothing-her ears were ringing, her pulse pounding in her head.
She hadn't even realized that she'd stopped breathing.
Her lungs screamed for air but she couldn't breathe in.
For a split second, the urge to step forward burned inside her. To pull them apart. To rip Jimin's hand away from Minjeong.
But time had frozen around her.
And in that moment, Y/N was done.
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bbuzz28 · 2 days ago
Text
Memories
Old man Fiddlestan, my beloved-and what's this? It could be semi-canon compliant :O ?!?! Woof- this is one of the saddest things I have ever written. I know some of you gremlins (affectionate) love that sort of thing, but I don't. I like really really don't. This is my comfort ship, so I don't even know where this came from other than trying to figure out how they *could* work in canon. Truthfully though, I prefer my Fiddlestan heavy on the comfort when it comes to the "hurt/comfort" genre. This is my only “angsty” (i.e. no immediate happy ending) Notes-app fics, so don't get used to this level of sad from me lol.
“Stan?” an oddly familiar voice called. Mr. Mystery, Stan Pines, glanced up from the flyers he was organizing and found that Old Man McGucket stood in the doorway of his front door. The last tour of the day had just left, it was dinnertime, and he was exhausted. Stan rolled his eyes as he unfurled his tie, wishing Soos was still there to escort the crazy old man off his property. No matter what he did, the old hillbilly always managed to find his way back to the Shack. “Sweet Moses McSuckit, what are you doing in here? Shoo, scat, or whateva will get rid of ya.” Hearing no movement, he looked at the man again and found he was standing erect. His blue eyes were the clearest he had seen them in no less than a decade.
          Wait, what did he call- oh. Oh no.
“Stan…ley? Did I…did I do somethin’ wrong?” the other man asked, his hands twisted in knots in front of him. Memories flashed through Stan’s mind; Ford falling through the portal, Fiddleford finding him passed out in the lab, working together to bring Ford home again…being together. Being happy. They had been happy, if just for a little while, hadn’t they?
Then there was the cult, and his discovery of the damn memory gun that had finally ruined everything they ever built. He took a hesitant step forward, a thousand thoughts roaring in his mind at once. “Fidds? Wha-what do you remember?” A bandaged hand snaked up and rubbed over the faded scar on the side of his head “I…don’t rightly know. Did we…I think we had a fight? I just woke up in the…in the dump. N’ I don’t have any shoes. Do ya know why my arm is in a cast?” Fiddleford looked so lost.
Stan knew in his heart that all of this was fleeting- “clarity” would hit Fiddleford every few years after he had finally wiped his mind of himself. Almost like his brain was trying to jumpstart itself back together. The first time they thought it was a miracle but…it didn’t last. It just started a trend that would follow them both for the next almost thirty years. Fiddleford would seemingly “wake up” and be lucid for a few weeks in the beginning, then eventually only a matter of days. It had been so long since the last time that Stan would wager, they only had maybe a few hours together if he was lucky.
The last time Fiddleford was himself…they had fought. Stanley thought he had figured the only way Fiddleford could stay; he needed to remember. Remember everything he had ever forgotten. At the time, Fiddleford had been unwilling to try. He didn’t think he could handle it; he knew he had forgotten what he had for a reason.
Stanley had gotten as close to begging as he ever had in his life since surviving Tijuanna, and when it had no effect…Stanley had told Fiddleford to leave and never come back. He had left that night, and by the next day he had faded away again. After a while, Stan thought his last words had been the final nail in the coffin that was Fiddleford’s mind. He carried that weight along with every other mistake he had ever made. But here he was. Fiddleford. His Fiddleford.
He took a deep breath before he opened his arms up. “Hey, don’t worry, it doesn’t matter. I’m right here.” Fiddleford rushed through the doorway, melting into Stanley’s open arms. “I went away again, didn’t I?” Stan could feel Fiddleford’s tears soaking into his chest, his own whispering at the edges of his eyes. Yes, and you will leave again. You will leave me and I will be alone all over again, you fucking asshole. “Hey cowboy, didn’t I just say not t’ worry about any a’ that? You’re here now, n' that’s what matters. You’re…you’re home.” A haggard laugh vibrated through the smaller man’s chest into Stanley’s own. “I know I keep tellin’ ya, tellin’ me not t’ worry is like” “…tellin’ a fish t’ stop swimmin’; I know Fidds, I know.” Fuck was really the only conscious thought that went through his head as he held his one-time lover. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, again.
Fiddleford looked up, eyes wide and searching Stan’s face. “How long do ya think we have?” Stan shook his head, unwilling to lie even if it eventually wouldn’t matter because he wouldn’t remember. You’ve always been the only person I couldn’t lie to. “I dunno, it’s been…a while. Probably not very long.” Fiddleford closed his eyes before he said “I need ya t’ know somethin’, Stanley.” Stan started to shake his head. “Fidds, you don’t have t-” The look on the other man’s face shut Stan right up-he had always had that ability. Stan wished he didn’t miss it as much as he did. “I need ya to know that even when I’m not here…I miss you. The part of me that’s somewhere in here-” A weathered hand tapped the side of his head to emphasize his point “ misses you. I’m just so sorry, Stanley. Sorry that I’m a coward. I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to be here all the time…but I’ll never stop tryin’. I’ll always try n’ come home to ya.”
Stan thought of the thousands of times he had chased Old Man McGucket, the neat little character that Stan had to compartmentalize his Fiddleford into when he wasn’t himself, out of the Shack. How many times he had found him curled up like a cat on the back porch. How every time they “met”, McGucket would say how nice Stan was or how good he felt to be around him “for some reason.” How many odds and ends McGucket would gift Stan from the dump for exhibits at the Mystery Shack with a large smile and nothing substantial behind his eyes.
It would be so much easier if he would stop trying to come back. Maybe the hole in Stan’s heart the size of the sweet, certifiably insane man would scab over. How many times had Stanley mourned him? How many times was he willing to hurt himself? They were now nearing their sixties, how long was he really willing to do this song and dance?
What’s one more time? he softly thought, his hand coming up to tenderly cup the grizzled face of Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. Mad scientist, friend, and unfortunately for them both…the love of his life.
“I miss you too, Fidds.”
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utopiastri · 19 hours ago
Note
Hi, hello!!!
May i request sleep deprivation for the fic prompt, pretty please???? To be honest I'd be so happy with any ship (bc im obsessed with ur writing), but mayhaps landoscar or maxcar???🥺🥺🥺
Hope you are having a wonderful day!<3
-💫
💫 anon!!! hi lovely! thank you for the prompt! i hope you're having a lovely day too and i hope you enjoy some maxcar!!!
Of all the people that Oscar expected to bump into whilst walking around Monaco at 5am, he wouldn’t have bet on Max Verstappen.
Or, well, he wouldn’t have bet a lot on Max Verstappen – Monaco’s tiny and Max does live here, so it’s not entirely unreasonable to run into him. But still.
5am.
“Oscar! Mate, hi!”
Oscar does his best not to wince at how cheery Max is. From the way Max’s face falls slightly, he’s guessing he doesn’t do a particularly good job of it.
“Hey, Max,” he says quietly, giving him a tired smile.
“What are you doing up so early? I wouldn't have guessed you were a morning person.”
“Just, um, going for a walk, I guess.”
Max frowns. “Hm.”
He doesn’t elaborate any further. Oscar prays that the street lighting is dim enough for the dark circles under his eyes to stay hidden.
Eventually, when it becomes clear that Max isn’t going to say anything else, Oscar says, “Right, uh, I’ll see you.”
Oscar’s barely even turned around to start walking in the opposite direction when Max calls out, “Wait! What are you doing after your walk?”
Living the Monaco high life, Oscar thinks to himself, going back to bed and tossing and turning for another six fruitless hours.
“Nothing much,” is what Oscar actually says. In fairness, it isn’t exactly a lie.
“I was just finishing up my run. You should come back to mine for some breakfast,” Max suggests.
Oscar gives Max an assessing look and notes that he looks more like a person about to go for a run than one just finishing one up. Max folds his arms and raises an eyebrow, as if daring Oscar to call his bluff.
On another day, maybe Oscar would. But he feels so tired his bones are heavy with it and giving in is the much easier thing to do.
“Yeah, ok.”
-
Oscar doesn’t realise that the breakfast invite is a trap until he’s blearily blinking his eyes open a few hours later. Or, maybe ‘trap’ is the wrong word. ‘Trap’ implies that there was some trickery or persuasion involved. Max didn’t exactly have to do much convincing to get Oscar to take a seat on his sofa. And Max certainly didn’t have to do much convincing to get Oscar to let his eyes flutter shut, since they were very much doing that of their own accord.
“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Max calls from the kitchen. Oscar slowly begins to register where is. He bolts upright when he realises that he managed to fall asleep on Max’s sofa when the poor man had only invited him in for a pastry and some coffee.
“Shit, Max, I’m so sorry,” he says, trying to stand up from the sofa and only managing to almost fall flat on his face, his legs getting twisted in a knitted blanket Max must’ve thrown over him. His face flares bright red and he refuses to look in Max’s direction.
Unfortunately, Max has other plans. He feels Max’s gaze burn into the side of his face until finally Oscar looks up and meets Max’s eyes. He’s smirking ever so slightly.
“No apologising. You needed sleep and, for whatever reason, you cannot get it at home. So you slept on my sofa.” Max says it so matter-of-factly that Oscar almost finds himself nodding along.
“No, wait,” Oscar shakes himself and reminds himself that this is ridiculous, “Max, it wasn’t fair, or, I mean, it was rude of me to fall asleep on your sofa.”
“No, it wasn’t, I didn’t mind.”
Oscar groans slightly. “Well, maybe, you should mind.”
A calculating look appears on Max's face. “To clarify," he says, "You object to the part where you fell asleep on my sofa?”
“Yes,” Oscar says firmly.
“Fine. I agree you should not fall asleep on my sofa.”
“Good.”
“You should fall asleep on my bed.”
“What?” Oscar splutters staring at Max, “Hang on.”
However, Max is too busy grabbing Oscar by the arm and frogmarching him through his flat to take heed of Oscar's request for him to hang on. Oscar’s so bewildered by this turn of events he doesn’t even fight the manhandling that much. Before he knows it, he finds himself sat down on Max’s giant bed, staring up at him.
Max is smirking again.
“There, problem solved. You can’t fall asleep on the sofa if you’re asleep in my bed.”
“Max,” Oscar starts.
Max raises an eyebrow ready to counter whatever Oscar’s next argument will be. Oscar sighs.
He knows when he’s beaten. Max smile grows even wider.
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me." He turns to leave but Oscar, almost without thinking, grabs his hand before he can.
His skin starts tingling where it's touching Max's and he does his best to ignore it. Oscar swallows. “Stay?” he asks, voice nothing more than a whisper.
Oscar thinks he might have found the one thing to say that would catch Max off-guard, even if that wasn’t his intention. His expression doesn’t shift, but Oscar can just about make out two dots of pink high in Max’s cheeks.
“Are you sure?”
“Stay,” Oscar repeats, less of a request and more of a command.
Max takes a second but eventually nods and crawls into the other side of the bed. Oscar carefully arranges his body so it's not touching Max's at all and then has to do his best not to react when he feels Max reach out and gently interlock their fingers. “Sleep,” he whispers.
Oscar convinces himself the kiss he feels pressed to his forehead is purely induced by sleep deprivation.
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pomefioredove · 2 days ago
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Hi, there ! :D
I saw the new Christmas event and it got me intrigued so I want to try my shot
If it is not too much trouble, I would like to request:
Can I have a sugar cookie, #4, with marshmallows, whipped cream and powdered sugar ?
Take your time and without pressure. I wish you a happy December and a merry Christmas. Thank you. ཐི✧ཋྀ
tfw azul
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order #4, sugar with marshmallows, whipped cream, powdered sugar
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ a reason to quit
summary: azul works in customer service to get closer to his crush. pining ensues tropes: royalty au, coffee shop au, roommates au characters: azul additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is not yuu, reader is prince rielle's sibling
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It was quite simple, actually.
If Azul could not impress you, he would die.
Okay. Maybe that's somewhat of an overexaggeration. But that's what it felt like.
If he had known that higher education would be so distracting, perhaps he would have gone right into the private sector!
Of course, his university roommate just had to be the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person he'd ever met. Of course they had to be the elder sibling of the detestable Prince Rielle.
And of course they were entirely uninterested in him.
Oh, how he loathed feeling this way...
At least he could still depend on the tweels, wherever in the world they were, to lend him their eyes and ears and stalking skills, and to find the exact coffee shop you perused every morning.
Someday, Azul thinks, He'll own a whole franchise of these. Then you can have as much overpriced coffee as you want.
Today, though, he's desperate.
"That'll be fifteen thaumarks. Yes, you heard me correctly- that was six pumps of caramel, ma'am- the price accounts for the product, it's quite simple! Wha- a secret menu? I assure you, if there was such a thing, I would have been the first to hear of it!"
Azul steps away from the counter, massaging his temples. It's only six thirty in the morning, and he already has a migraine...
It will be worth it. There's no reward without risk!
The shrill, unpleasant sound of the bells by the door becomes an angelic choir as you pass them. Azul hurries back to the counter. This is the only tolerable part of his shift, after all.
"Pleasant morning," he says to you, smiling as if his manager had just given him the rest of the day off.
You smile back. Good. Very good. You are so very pretty, do you know that? Surely, you do, you must have a line of suitors waiting for your hand. All the more reason for Azul to work hard.
"Ah... up bright and early again, Azul? You must really like this job,"
He grinds his teeth, putting more pressure into his smile. "Just love it. Your usual?"
"I think I'll try something new. Whatever you would recommend,"
"Very well," he beams. You trust his judgment that much? Azul pushes his glasses up his nose and gets to work, not-so-subtly checking you out every few seconds. Why is it so hard to speak to you????
Thank the Sevens for customer service small-talk, he thinks for the first and only time ever.
"How has your morning been?" he asks, again, trying not to seem too eager. "You had an exam quite early, if I remember correctly."
Which he does, of course. He has your schedule memorized down to the minute. As one does.
You look up from your phone. "Ah, you remember that...? It went... well, I think,"
Azul takes off his glasses to wipe the steam from them. He wants to savor being able see you, after all. "You don't sound too confident,"
"I'm sure I passed..." you sigh. "It's just that... well, our father is strict. If he found out I was barely passing-"
"I'll tutor you!" Azul blurts out, the paper cup of coffee nearly slipping from his hands. You blink.
"Ahem- I apologize. I only meant that it would be no trouble for me. And I would do so at a discount, of course."
He puts a lid over the warm confection and stumbles to the other side of the counter, as if this was his first day on land.
"You'd do that for me?" you follow him, eyes wide. Pretty...
Azul almost blushes at that cute look, and lowers his gaze to his trembling fingers, attempting to write your name on the cup, his normally perfect cursive reduced to scribbles.
"...Of course. It would be more convenient than hiring a stranger,"
"Oh..." you say, looking down at his hand as you take the cup from him, your fingers brushing over his. And you smile. "Thank you!"
Azul's heart misses a beat (several, really) and he blushes again (detestable human form!)
You don't seem to notice, but everyone else in line is staring. One older man taps his watch. How he loathes this job.
"It's no trouble at all," Azul says, glancing your way. "I was looking for a reason to quit, anyway."
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yanderes-galore · 2 days ago
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Could you a concept for Dracule Mihawk (One Piece)?
He seems indifferent at times so I made his pairing general since I feel he could go either way.
Yandere! Dracule Mihawk Concept
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive/Protective behavior, Imprisonment, Dubious companionship/relationship.
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Mihawk is considered to be a serious man who rarely smiles.
His biggest goal is to be bested by a fellow swordsman as the strongest swordsman in the world.
Other than that, Mihawk usually keeps to himself in his gothic castle on Kuraigana Island.
He enjoys the peace and quiet so him being obsessed would be rather rare.
He has trouble trusting others even if he has a select few he's okay around.
Even around those he likes he appears cold and dismissive of them.
While he acts in such a way, he is shown to still be concerned for others.
When it comes to an obsession of his, it would take time before he's completely obsessed.
Most of your time around him is in silence.
Mihawk seems like a person who would just like his obsession in the same room as him but with no words shared.
That or he'd quietly listen to his obsession talk, nodding along because he likes their voice as white noise.
Mihawk works as either a platonic or romantic yandere in my eyes.
As a platonic yandere, Mihawk may have a similar relationship to how he is with Zoro.
Maybe he'd be a platonic yandere over an apprentice he has?
He'd keep you with him in his castle to train.
He wants you and Zoro to be strong opponents for him.
Although, when it comes to you, he probably sees you less as a rival and more like... well... a treasured student happens to enjoy being around?
If he's romantic then you wouldn't even have to be a swordsman.
You could simply be a civilian or fellow pirate he took interest in, often allowing you to visit because he doesn't mind your company.
Either way, many mag mistakes Mihawk's behavior around you as tolerance.
They'd have to know him well to tell if Mihawk actually enjoys your company.
For example, someone like Shanks would be able to read Mihawk's obsession.
Sometimes even you think he doesn't want you around.
That is until Mihawk gives you a blunt order to stay beside him.
Mihawk is considered a 'lonely' pirate.
Unlike other Warlords, he has no crew.
Despite this he is perfectly happy just having you with him.
Mihawk isn't the most affectionate person.
For example, I don't think you'd expect hugs or overly cuddly behavior.
To him, as I said before, he may just like knowing you're in the same room as him.
He loves/cares for his obsession in his own way, maybe even having you sit next to him while he enjoys the quiet.
He's another subtle yandere at times yet can be either protective (usually platonic) or possessive (romantic) with his obsession.
Occasionally I can see him being touchy if romantic, like having his obsession in his lap or kissing them on the lips or neck.
Yet when it comes to platonic, silence together is his thing other than training.
Mihawk is infamous to everyone on the seas.
He's known to decimate fleets and is even considered a 'Marine Hunter'.
Many fear him and rightfully so.
If anyone got between him and his obsession, Mihawk would be displeased.
Not necessarily angry... but unamused.
He's a very calm person, especially towards those weaker than him.
To him, they're insects in the way of what he really wants.
I think I don't have to say this but... yeah, Mihawk would kill over his obsession.
To him, you're one of the only people worth his time.
If any other person got in between you and him?
Gone.
If they are going to be a problem for him then he'll get rid of them.
If not, he'll try just dismissing them.
Mihawk doesn't have the patience for anyone getting involved with his obsession.
Mihawk no doubt keeps his obsession pretty isolated.
His castle is out of the way and rather large.
Mihawk wouldn't confine his obsession to one room either.
You're free to roam the castle, you sometimes don't even need to be in the same room as him.
He'd like it if you were but you don't have to be.
His one rule is you have to stay at the castle.
Essentially, don't wander off on your own... He'll find you.
Mihawk wouldn't do much punishment-wise.
Maybe then he'd confine you to one room?
Otherwise he just finds it... uninteresting.
Mihawk probably spoils his obsession somewhat but is always quiet about it.
New training sword, new clothes, some sort of food you like...
He may not be very interactive, but he knows you.
Honestly, not the worst yandere you could have.
He's quiet, lets you roam, care about you, and isn't very forceful.
You probably originally stayed at his castle on your own accord since he doesn't often go find people.
After that he's become used to your company... and it would be a shame if you left.
Mihawk is capable of destructive and forceful behavior, yet is very controlled.
He knows when to use it, when it comes to you, he doesn't usually bother unless he feels you're going against him. (like trying to leave.)
He isn't like Doflamingo who is loud and often flaunts his abilities.
I have a feeling even Shanks is similar to his behavior, just way more warm?
The worst Mihawk could get might be him manipulating you into staying with him.
He claims it's either for you to train (platonic) or you need to stay because you're together (romantic).
Either way, Mihawk prefers the only company you have to be him.
That's his toxic trait, he's still selfish and doesn't let anyone visit you.
His castle is for you and him. (Although, sometimes Shanks or Perona come over.)
He only trusts himself around you which means you're only meant to see him.
That would be the issue with Mihawk.
Sure, he can kill and has, but it's only those he feels deserves it.
Most of the time he just drags his obsession into isolation with him.
Yet... He'll take care of your every need even if you only have him...
It's a small price to pay, right? Isolation with him for luxury and training by his side?
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Stiles has been pegged at least once I dont know if he liked it but hes too curious not to try it out you know
Absolutely. Without a doubt. Stiles may or may not be as kinky as we hope think, but he's definitely curious and willing to experiment.
Maybe he let out a long, nervous rant about wanting to try it to his girlfriend one evening because he was unsure of how she'd react. He was probably shocked (and delighted) when she agreed. But then he had to face reality: it was actually going to happen.
He was very sure that he wanted to, but he couldn't help but to feel a little queasy in the moment as he watched the lube squirt onto her hand. She decided that he should start with a finger of hers, maybe two, to get his body ready and to properly test the waters.
Stiles' body flinched as the cold substance was spread across his tight little hole. He held his breath, gripped the sheets, and squeezed his eyes closed, all without realizing it as her fingertip teased the entrance.
"Relax, Stiles... It's ok. We can go slow, just tell me what you want."
He practically whimpered back. "Just do it, it's fine, I'm fine, I can take it."
"Yes, yes you can, Stiles. You're doing such a good job; you're such a good boy," she said softly, her finger beginning to slide in.
He moaned and buried his face into his pillow as his breathing became heavier.
After the second finger, he was ready to burst, but his sweet, loving girlfriend made him wait, wanting him to experience what he initially asked for. So, she filled him up with the strap-on, and boy, he almost passed out from pleasure. It was almost too much.
In my opinion, I think Stiles would have enjoyed it, but maybe would have been scared to admit it. I also think he would be a little weirded out by not having any control whatsoever. In the show, he seems to like getting his hands dirty, putting in the work, doing things his way, etc., so I think the fact that some rubber had that big of an effect on him in such a short amount of time would result in him not wanting to do it again, though he was happy he tried it.
Thank you so much for this submission! I really enjoyed writing this, although I'm practically half-asleep and I don't feel like reviewing this before I post it so... Oh well. Anyway. If anyone has any thoughts or opposing opinions, I'd love to hear them! 💜
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chr1ssycrumble · 3 days ago
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A couple of fruits (part 4)
Bullet Train prequel fanfic! this is the fourth part, the others are on my page!!
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notes: thank you for all the support on this project, it means so much! This chapter isn't the best, but there are some cute moments, especially the ending (; i hope you love it, i tried to make it as accurate to the British teenager experience as possible lolz, i also need to give toby/lemon more focus!!!!!!
TW: dissection, knives, alcohol, smoking and death mention, strong language as always, painfully bad fashion choices.
name reminder as always!
Toby- Lemon
Michael- Tangerine
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It had been three weeks since Michael and Toby killing their own foster father had been seen by Ashley, and the small group of teenagers had become inseparable, constantly hanging out at any moment. It was fine and full of hysterical laughter whenever it was the whole trio, but when it was just Michael and Ashley, the air was always thick with unsaid words.
"Right, urm Ashley- you go with...Michael, maybe working with a more morbid student might help you actually do the dissection" Their biology teacher rattled on, pairing up students for the sheep's heart dissection; Ashley was well known in the school for one thing only, being the girl who tried to give a very dead rat CPR, earning her the nickname Rat girl, and even teens going as far as putting dead roadkill in her locker.
Michael perked up from trying to break the ink cartridge of his pen when he heard this, and he smiled to himself, he watched out the corner of his eye as she picked up her things and went to sit next to him.
"Hi." Michael said awkwardly, moving his things off of the other seat so that she could sit down easily.
"Hey." Ashley responded with a smile, placing her pencil case down beside his, well his was just a small pile of pens he had stuffed in his blazer and put on the desk, whilst hers was a light red fabric case with doodles all over it, including a little heart with an arrow. "Look, I don't think i can do the dissection-"
"Yeah i gathered that much- i'll just do it." He shrugged lightly, unbothered by the fact she wouldn't want to do anything, she was more happy about the fact he was getting to talk to her again.
Michael stood up, taking off his school blazer (which was already scuffed and marked, so it wouldn't really have made a difference if he had kept it on or not) and put on a pair of surgical gloves, throwing the other pair to Ashley.
He grabbed the scalpel, and began to cut almost scarily neat lines in the sheep's heart, whilst Ashley watched with wide eyes, slightly horrified and slightly amazed. She knew what he had done before, but this was weirdly precise.
Toby, who had been working with some random guy, noticed this and caught on quite quickly, coughing obnoxiously loud to try and make Michael realize how much of a serial killer he looked right now.
When Michael looked up, the two exchanged almost annoyed glances, before he realized what he was doing, and shot Ashley an apologetic smile. "Sorry-"
"No, it's fine honestly, I'm just glad i don't have to do it- and you're real at it good too, so that's a bonus!" She shook her head, looking at him.
The two locked eyes again, it was just like the interaction from the day prior, (probably less romantic due to the knife in his hand, and the fact she looked like she would be ill because of the dead animal lung) and Michael got the same feeling he had done last time, as if his heart was going to come out of his mouth, whereas this time they were both looking at each other, not just him at her. But just like last time, they got interrupted.
"Oi Mikey! You coming to mine tonight? Toby's coming- and you can bring rat girl if you want!" A voice called out, it belonged to Ted, one of the more well off kids in the school, who hung out with the twins sometimes, he was a bit rude though, and stunk of a fancy Lynx aftershave.
That snapped them both out of it, and they turned to look at the guy. Michael spoke up, slightly annoyed by the voice, "Yeah- yeah whatever i'll come, and she will too." After a moment, when Ted had turned back around, he muttered to himself and her. "Fucking prick."
Ashley laughed softly, and took the scalpel out of his hand, placing it back down onto the board. "You look like Patrick Bateman doing that." She commented, passing him the other knife to finish off quickly the practical.
"I'm way slicker than Patrick Bateman." He glanced at her, letting out a small scoff at his comment, "You are coming to this party, right? You don't have to-"
"I will, yeah- even if it's tosser Teddy hosting it." She laughed, and so did he at the name she referred to him as, she had lots of nicknames for people, it was almost a defense mechanism because of all of the bullying. She wouldn't admit this to him, but until recently, she had called him maladjusted Michael, because of his inability to fit in, which actually she couldn't either in all fairness.
"You don't hold back at all, you know that right?" Michael raised an eyebrow as he finished the dissection, cleaning up the tools with an eerily neat approach.
"She does not!" Toby called out from the other side of the room, laughing.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
"So, what do people do at these things?" Ashley asked as the three walked down the street and out of their apartment building that evening, down the road to find Ted's house.
"Parties? Uhhh- get drunk and make out." Toby replied quite blatantly, signalling to the bag of spirits and vodka they were taking with them to the place.
"And smoke, and scream, and ruin the house- it's real fun, i swear- as long as it's not your own house." Michael added on, shaking the packet of cigarettes in his hand, none of them noticed the shadowy figure lurking a few metres behind them, they were all too loud anyway to have heard the footsteps, or the shutter of the camera as it flicked photos of the three.
"Just sounds like what i do on a daily basis- minus making out." Ashley commented, crossing her arms as the group continued to walk.
"Yeah, but the guy hosting the party is a fucking wanker." Michael shrugged as he spoke.
"And you're a fucking wanker too, Mikey" Toby jabbed and laughed, dodging a punch, they looked a very strange group, due to the fact that they were all dressed very differently:
Michael wore baggy black jeans, with a white shirt (the top few unbuttoned) and a thin black tie loosely around it, topped off with a few golden rings on his fingers
Toby had on a pair of beige cargo pants, with a red graphic tee for the band maroon 5, circular framed blue sunglasses, and checkered black and white muddy vans.
Finally, Ash wore a pink vest with a purple mesh tee over it, a grey skirt with a chunky belt, black tights, and patent leather shoes, with parts of her hair in small ponytails on the top of her head.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
When they arrived at the house, Michael knocked on the door first, and was greeted by Ted, who looked them up and down, before half-hugging Michael and letting them all in.
The house was HUGE, the biggest either of three teens had been in, so probably not that impressive, but still big. There was plants- real ones, not the tacky decorative ones from Home Bargains, and their were professional family photos on the wall, Ash had to fight the urge to throw a smirnoff ice bottle at Ted's still face in them.
Further into the house, in the white pristine kitchen, was practically at least half of their year at school, all raving and shouting, some huddled in the corners with their partners, others lingering around the snack table (where a few bottles of fiji water sat), or singing badly along to the music that was playing through the speakers; it wasn't really where Ashley belonged, so she decided to take a large swig of the nearest glass of pure Vodka she could find, letting the alcohol rush to her head.
Toby seemed to be enjoying himself more, he had always been referred to as the class clown, and this did not end out of school hours, with him already making people laugh and messing about within five minutes of being here, after placing the plastic bag down on the table.
Michael, on the other hand, seemed fairly unsure of what to do, sure, he knew people, he was pretty cool too, but, he would've liked it more if he was reading Crime and Punishment at home right now, not having to deal with some rich kid's house party.
"This party is...interesting." Ashley stepped beside him, offering him a red solo cup of coca cola and vodka, to which he took and had a sip.
"It's shit." He corrected her and swallowed after he had had a sip, "You look nice though. Like Amy Winehouse or something."
"I don't think i'm that pretty" She laughed and shook her head, leaning on the counter with him stood beside her, both watching the party as they spoke.
"You are, really." He responded, as she took a sip.
"Well, you're not too bad either, you're like a young James Dean."
"Should i be complimented by that?"
"Yes."
"Then i'll take it," He smiled and turned to face her. "I really like hanging out with you, y'know. You're like, the coolest girl i've ever met- you're mysterious and a bit cold, like- Anna Karenina, and you are so beautiful too..."
"Jesus Christ- How much of that drink have you had?"
"I'm serious, Ash, You're really sweet." He spoke, and grabbed her hand with his free one, placing his drink down on the counter behind him, and then putting his hand on her cheek.
He kissed her, he actually kissed Ashley, the world seemed to stop, neither of them could focus on anything else that wasn't the person stood infront of them, she had never been kissed before, and awkwardly shifted to face him properly.
which to a bunch of 16 year olds, was big news, and they all suddenly stopped chatting and turned to stare at them after one chavy girl screamed,
"Michael's fucking kissing rat girl!!!"
Oh bloody hell.
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neurodivergent-willow · 5 days ago
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Thinking lots about disability things and realising its okay
Its okay to be unintelligent
Its okay to make lots of mistakes
Its okay to look ugly
Its okay to be weird
Its okay to act weird
Its okay, we are all humans, just trying to survive, it's okay to be weird to look weird to do weird things, when you break it down, it leads to, its okay, it is fine.
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hplonesomeart · 2 months ago
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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iamthemaestro · 8 days ago
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I feel like I need to get more into regency clothing
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faaun · 9 months ago
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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roaringroa · 4 months ago
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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found--family · 11 months ago
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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em-b-sides · 7 months ago
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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naenaex0xx · 10 months ago
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maybe I'm comfortable with tumblr because I get to say things I don't usually tell anyone
#like how my day is? or what dumb stuff im doing lol#my “safe space” where i got to meet people somehow (and theyre very cool :3c)#well. im happy if i get to do it now#cmon nae! sympathy points wont do you any good !!#okay so. tumblr gets to be my little planner too cause i get to write things in the momoment#so im writing things im proud of!#brushed my teeth for more than two mins today#n i actually washed a lil! its embarrassing writing this here because i dont want anyone thinking im dirty.... since its gross#but anyways.. im getting better at putting my phone down at night!#that means fixing my sleep right? i just have to sort out the mornings since i lose track of time#and struggle to leave bed (its too comfyyyy >.<)#and oh. i want to start going on walks..#itll be hard since the house is getting done n stuff but. anytine if the day. i feel like taking walks woukd be better for me#just to keave the house. my eyes always hurts when i steo outside#n thats not good :<#those are my goals for now. i do wanna get closer to my friends. and actually make friends!#ive had no friendships for nearly a year at college lol#its just been 'oh well' but i have actually felt lonely... oh well-#i guess i wanna get closer to people?#and.. talk to ny old friends too#i feel to guilty#im not good with this stuff. it drains me#but anyways. baby steps right? who knows#maybe ill make a friend on the trip! or next year too! that sounds good#ik nobody'll probably read this cause its word vomit lol#but basically yay yippee im feelin kinds alright#<333#posts.nae/rambles
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