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juleswrites223 · 7 months

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Dad!Carlos Sainz x Mom!Reader ❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Context: Your son is a menace in a car, just like Carlos was at his age

a/n: This is inspired by that video of baby Carlos in a car, drifting like a boss 😂. Also for Mateo's face claim i just took Carlos when he was a child to really give the feel that he is a carbon copy of his dad. I used google translate for the spanish.

“Mateo is an exact copy of Carlos no?” Reyes, Carlos’ mother says as you are out on a brunch date with her.

“Right?? Even the way he even scrunches his nose.” You say to your mother in law. “It’s unfair, I carried him for nine months, all for him to be a carbon copy of his papa.” You whine.

Reyes laughs and you guys continue talking then head to the car. As you’re fastening your seatbelt, the phone lights up with your husband’s caller ID.

“Hola cariño, have you picked up Mateo from preschool yet?” Carlos’ voice comes through the phone.

“Hi, I’m with your mom, we went out for a brunch date, I’m actually on my way to go pick him up right now, where are you?” You say as you pull out of the parking lot.

“I just finished golfing with my father, we were on our way back so I was thinking if it would take you more time then I would pick up Mateo.” Carlos says.

"No it's fine, the preschool is barely 10 mins away from here. How was golfing?" You say as you drive towards your son's preschool with your mother in law.

"I got a hole in one, th-", Carlos says as he's interrupted by his father.

"Hola Y/N, your husband cheated." Carlos Sainz sr, your father in law, says quickly.

"Eres sólo un mal perdedor, cariño. (you are just a sore loser, honey)" Reyes laughs as she tells her husband.

The conversation ends as you pull up at your son's preschool. His face lights up the moment he sees your car, as soon as you step in the gate, Mateo's joyous voice rings, "MAMAAA".

You pick Mateo up in your arms and carry him till the car while conversing with him. His face lights up even more when he sees his abuela in the car too.

"How was your day bubba? Abeula came too because she missed you." You ask him as you strap in him the baby seat.

"It was bueno (good). I did counting today." Mateo says as he imitates counting on his fingers.

"Mateo, tu papá te consiguió un auto en el que puedes conducir. (Mateo, Your papa got you a car that you can drive in)" Reyes says as you drive.

"¿Auto? como el de papa? (car? like papa's?)" Mateo tilts his head as he asks, clearly curious.

"Un poco diferente al de papa. (a little different that papa's)" You say as you guys arrive at you and Carlos' house.

"Hola hola." You greet your husband by kissing his lips when you enter and hug your father in law.

They seem to be watching moto gp but as soon as Mateo comes in with his abuela, he excitedly runs to his abuelo.

"Mateo ¿Qué pasa con papá? (what about papa?)", Carlos says as he feigns hurt.

Mateo's favourite one in the whole family is definitely his grandfather. Whenever people ask Mateo who is his best friend, he always says his abuelo.

Carlos sneakily goes to the abuelo-nieto (grandfather-grandson) duo and picks up Mateo and tickles him. Mateo's sweet laughter rings throughout the living room.

"Quiero ver bluey (i want to watch bluey)", Mateo whines and points at the tv when he sees the tv on but it's not showing his favourite show.

"Carlos, Sabes que quiere ver su programa cada vez que ve la televisión encendida (You know he wants to watch his show whenever he sees the tv on). You know what show him his new car, its in the backyard, that will distract him." You tell your husband.

"Mateo, vamos a ver tu auto (Mateo lets go check out your car)." Carlos says as he takes Mateo with him to the backyard. Mateo runs towards the car and immediately sits in it.

"Bebé, ten cuidado, ¿vale? No hay derivas, ¿vale? (baby be careful okay. No drifts okay?)", you say to your son.

Mateo, just like his father, drives fast and crazy. With every drifty turn he's making in his toy car, your heart drops to your stomach in fear he's going to hurt himself.

"¡¡CUIDADOSO!! (CAREFUL!!)"

"MATEO!"

"Mateo conduce bebé lento! (Mateo drive slow baby!)"

This is how he's driving for context.

You shriek until he finally stops and smiles for the picture his abuelo is taking.

"Bien, comamos y veamos Bluey ahora, ¿eh? (Okay, let's eat and watch bluey now huh?", You try to convince your son and luckily it works. He gets out of the car and dashes to the couch.

"¿Por qué le compraste ese auto peligroso? (Why would you get him that dangerous car?) He could have seriously hurt himself." You smack your husband's chest as he comes up behind you and hugs you from the back.

"Haha, Si te estás volviendo loco por esto, ¿cómo reaccionarás cuando empiece a hacer karting? (If you're freaking out about this then how will you react when he starts karting?)" He laughs and kisses you lightly on the lip and you guys walk inside.

It's later in the evening when you go over to the couch and kiss your baby boy's head, who is peacefully sleeping. "I just want him to stay safe forever. ¿es demasiado pedir? Como su madre, eso es todo lo que deseo. (is it too much to ask for? As his mother, that's all i wish for.)

"No siempre podemos proteger a nuestros hijos, pero podemos hacer todo lo posible para garantizar que se mantengan a salvo. Sentí lo mismo que tú ahora cuando Carlos era joven y empezó a hacer karting. (We can't always protect our children but we can do our best to ensure they keep themselves safe. I felt the same way you do now when Carlos was young and he started karting.)" Reyes says to you in hoping to aid your worry. And it does.

You cuddle with Mateo on the couch as you continue conversing with your mother in law while Carlos and his dad are preparing dinner. You look down at your son who is sleeping and looking at his adorable face, you know he's gonna be alright, but it doesn't hurt if you wanna do everything in your power to protect him for a few more years, right?

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr #f1 x reader #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz #formula one #f1 imagine #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz blurb

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fujoshimenacecw · 3 months

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A conversation between Moto Hagio, Hideaki Anno, and Shimako Sato

In our first ever translation work we share a riveting conversation between Moto Hagio, Hideaki Anno, and Shimako Sato! Read on our wordpress or keep reading on tumblr under the readmore

For the 189th issue of the Magazine House publication Hato yo! published January 1st 2000, movie director and screenwriter Shimako Sato leads a three way conversation between herself and her acquaintances, the anime and live action movie director Hideaki Anno, and manga artist Moto Hagio. Together they discuss their respective admiration for each other’s work, Anno’s past statements on otaku, their takes on parent-child relations, how to escape puberty, and why Anno finds it scary to be around children.

To Me, There is 5 Ways To End a Story

Hagio: I got really into Neon Genesis Evangelion after it finished airing (laughter). I had been told by an acquaintance that Eva was a work that had “fans who were looking forward to watching the series so enraged by the developments in the final episode that they broke their TVs” (laughter). I wondered what could a work that evokes such strong emotions be like? I was really interested, so I borrowed the VHS tapes from a friend of Shimako-san’s, then I started watching.

Anno: I’m a big fan of Hagio-san’s manga, so when Shimako-san first said she could introduce us and arrange this meeting I was truly happy. The fact that you took an interest in Eva is an honor but… When I first heard “to me, there are five ways to end a story” I thought “as expected; amazing!” So after several twists and turns I finally reached a conclusion

Sato: Anno-san, when did you first encounter Hagio-san’s work?

Anno: The first one I read was They Were 11! during its serialization. In elementary school I read it at the Ear-Nose-Throat Doctor. I generally read manga at the waiting room there or at the barbers, since I didn’t really get any manga to read at home. When I read They Were 11! back then I was blown away. After that I read Hyaku Oku no Hiru to Senoku no Yoru [trans: Ten Billion Days and One Hundred Billion Nights, original story by Ryu Mitsuse]. My favorite work is Half-god [Hanshin]. The fact that such a meaningful story could be told in only 16 pages is amazing. I think Hagio-san is a genius storyteller, but her art is amazing as well. In middle school I thought that if I copied Hagio-san’s art I’d become better at drawing.

Sato: If you had also imitated her storytelling would that perhaps have changed Eva’s final episode? (laughter)

Saving the world, love and hatred

Anno: You know, I don’t have much interest in concluding a story.

Sato: Do you hate wrapping a furoshiki? [trans note: a traditional wrapping cloth]

Anno: No, it’s that I think you can do more with a furoshiki than tie it up pretty. Like break it or tear it to shreds, all kinds of things.

Sato: If we include all that, isn’t that still doing the act of wrapping?

Hagio: In your case Anno-san, I find your way of grasping the world unique.

Sato: For both Anno-san and Hagio-san, even with the differences between manga and anime you’re making a serialized work, right. When you make a long-form work, is the ending something that is already decided? Or is it something that changes?

Anno: For me it’s something like a live performance, and ends up gradually changing as I create the work.

Hagio: I’m a bit too careful, so I can’t draw if I haven’t thought of the ending. An exception is when I made Star Red. Otherworld Barbara which I made later also ended up becoming an exception

Anno: Star Red’s ending was magnificent. I was also influenced by Star Red. Actually, I’ve written some dialogue similar to the one in Star Red’s ending

Sato: Which of the characters do you like?

Anno: Well, the protagonist.

Sato: I like Elg. At first I thought he was a rather unreliable person, but he gradually came to play an active role. By the end he revived a dead planet through love.

Hagio: I also like characters like that!

Sato: When I watch Anno’s works like Eva I feel like you are more the kind of person who saves the world through hatred, what do you think?

Anno: I don’t know

Hagio: That feeling of uncertainty becomes the foundation of your storytelling doesn’t it? I come to think that that feeling is something so overflowing you can’t tie it all together.

Sato: It seems you have some differences when it comes to making a story, but I think one thing your stories have in common is perhaps parent-child relations?

Anno: That is true, Hagio-san. Your relationship with your mother appears in your work…

Hagio: When I was a child, my older sister was my mother’s favorite, I was always compared to her. It seemed my mother thought that compared to my sister I was unreliable so she always worried about me, even when I was into my thirties she’d tell me to quit making manga.

Sato: And that was during The Poe Clan’s heyday wasn’t it?

Hagio: (laughter) When I was watching Eva, something that really caught my attention was Shinji-kun worrying about whether or not he was useful to his father. Yet there was a distance between them. During that time I was very interested in, to put it into words, “broken relations.”

Otaku Are Generally Uncool

Sato: Anno-san, in your work I think father-son relations is something that makes an appearance. Are there any real experiences behind that?

Anno: My family was normal. If I have a complex it would be that we were a poor family rather than a just normal one, and my father has only one leg. Regardless, I think stories about parents are the simplest to make, it’s easy.

Sato: So since Eva is a parent-child story it ended up like that?

Anno: What makes it easy is that we have some preconceived assumptions about [parent-child relations], “have you argued with your parents?” and such.

Sato: What appears in your work isn’t those things, but your own internalized problems don’t you think.

Anno: That appears to be it. As for my family we truly were the archetypical lower middle class household. My father was a good person. A sensible man. When you’re under circumstances like my father was you have to live sensibly or else you’re excluded.

Sato: So in opposition to that, you became an otaku.

Anno: That might be it. Your most important model for what normalcy is is your family. But I have a younger sister and she is exceedingly normal. She doesn’t read manga, there is nothing twisted about her at all.

Sato: And by twisted you mean?

Anno: That she’s not an otaku.

Sato: Anno-san, you’ve said that you hate otaku, haven’t you.

Anno: It’s not hate. It’s just that I think otaku are uncool. To otherwise not notice that you’re uncool or purposefully suppressing that fact makes me feel disgusted.

Sato: What about The Matrix? Isn’t that a cool otaku movie?

Anno: That one is also uncool.

Hagio: Even though Keanu Reeves is cool.

Anno: Keanu is cool. Because he is not an otaku. The otaku are the Wachowskis. They can’t get out of the confinements of their otaku-ism. So for example, even if they make something cool, part of it will for certain be otaku-like Even though I say this I don’t hate it. If I truly did I’d quit being an otaku.

Sato: Hagio-san, would you say your family was normal or was it perhaps affluent?

Joh (Hagio’s manager): Hagio-san and her mother actually have a similar biorhythm. It was perhaps due to that fact that Hagio rebelled by pursuing the path of becoming a manga artist.

Hagio: I might have been running away by drawing. But, if I had rebelled by becoming a delinquent I think it perhaps might’ve been more enriching to me as a person.

Anno: To become a creator is not something I think is a happy path to go down. In order to not be unhappy you have to work for dear life. At the very least create works as if you’re going back to zero [from the negatives].

Hagio: Is it a negative? Because you are an otaku?

Anno: Being an otaku is a huge negative. You make up for it either by relying on others or by producing creative works. With that said, I think my generation has it easier than yours, Hagio-san. This is an era where even old men read manga. My parents even now have no issues with my line of work. I appear in Asahi Shimbun, I appear on NHK, they have nothing to worry about. That is also why I will try not to ever refuse any coverage from my hometown newspapers.

Hagio: But don’t you think parents don’t truly understand? Even if I become famous, my parents will say; can’t you quit drawing manga? And just appear in the newspaper? (laughter)

Sato: But if you quit drawing manga you won’t appear in the newspaper. (laughter)

Hagio: In that context, a part of me still expects too much affirmation from my parents. Not externally but internally. Even if I appear in Asahi Shimbun I still end up thinking it’s not good enough.

Sato: The fact that you still worry so much about what your parents think at your age Hagio-san, it’s so strange.

Hagio: Yes, I think so too

Anno: Could it be that you have to become a parent to change that part of you that worries so much about what your parents think?

Sato: I don’t worry at all about what my parents think.

Anno: I also don’t care even a little bit. As far as I’m concerned, I’m bored if I get my parents’ approval. When I did Nadia: The Secret Of Blue Water for NHK I felt that feeling.

Sato: Do you have a replacement parent figure?

Anno: Well, a man without imaginary enemies is no good. For me right now, I think I want to make works that have Hayao Miyazaki beat.

Sato: Hagio-san, your worries might also be what gives birth to your works.

Hagio: That might be the case.

Sato: Anno-san, earlier, you said “you have to become a parent to change.” I personally don’t think if you don’t have children you can’t become an adult. I think that being an adult is being independent in everything you do. That’s why I think marriage or having children doesn’t change anything.

Anno: You can become a parent without being an adult. At 17 or 18 you could become a parent. To become a parent without even being an adult, that is the problem I think.

Sato: Do you consider yourself to be an adult, Anno-san?

Anno: I guess I’m a child.

Sato: I don’t consider my parents to be adults.

Hagio: I’m very discontent with the fact that my parents aren’t adults.

Anno: I’m not discontent.

Sato: For me realizing that my parents aren’t absolute adults was a relief during my middle school years. Until then I had played the role of an exemplary student, but when I realized that fact I stopped playing that role.

Hagio: So you’re a child who didn’t fit into your parents’ expectations. I was also a child who didn’t fit into my parents’ expectations, but the fact that they didn’t shrug their shoulders and say “that’s fine,” filled me with anxiety. I thought that if I become an adult I’d lose that anxiety. But I want recognition from people. I continue to request affirmation.

Sato: Anno-san, in Eva you portrayed children like this, but are you like this yourself?

Anno: The affirmation? Hmmm. That kind of thing changes with the project.

Hagio & Sato: ?

Anno: I don’t believe in the supremacy of the director of a work, but rather the work itself. What would be best for the work, I only base my judgment on the total. Although I won’t hand over the executive decisions.

Hagio: Manga is a one-man job, but with a movie there’s the director, the scriptwriter, the actors, etc. Each of them sees themselves as a leading part. Furthermore as living beings the things we do will sometimes diverge from the plan we made in our heads. The fun of living is discovering what those differences will be.

Is Eva The Rite of Passage That Will Get Us Through Puberty?

Sato: The movie Love & Pop that you directed Anno-san, the original creator Ryuu Murakami-san and yourself are both men, yet the story is about high school girls. I found that interesting.

Hagio: I thought that both of you wanted to be very similar to an archetypical girl. You said you wanted to see a part of puberty, and girlhood that you couldn’t control. After all, men aren’t just made up of boys. I believe that femininity and masculinity is something we have combined within us. Sort of androgynous.

Sato: The boys you create not having that vivid true-to-life quality to them I think is a representation of that. Anno-san, as a man, what do you think of the boys in Hagio-san’s manga?

Anno: I think they have empathy. I think what I like the most is that all the characters are smart. Because they have such a high intelligence it feels good to read.

Hagio: Like a washing machine right at the peak of its cycle, I want to leave my characters on the verge of that kind of critical point [of merger]. To be honest, the idea that once you’re past 30 you’ve become an old lady, that sense is something we’ve left behind.

Sato: I’ve found that when men become old they lose their ability to be nihilistic in their work, is it the same as that?

Anno: In the case of men, as you age, the world view [of your fiction] rather than your characters come to reflect your nihilism. You don’t aspire to be nihilistic, you yourself are becoming nihilistic. Your world view is what gradually utilizes nihilism. Isao Takahata, for example, is a nihilistic person. Nothing is born from being nihilistic. As nihilism is Plus-Minus-Zero, eventually your heart can’t be moved.

Hagio: A world that doesn’t change, isn’t that comfortable?

Sato: Even though in order to grow you have to fight. By asking like this, Anno-san, did you not experience puberty?

Anno: That might be it.

Hagio: I thought you were right in the middle of puberty.

Anno: I thought I’m losing it, but it might be puberty. Generally speaking, otaku don’t go through puberty.

Hagio: I thought otaku went through a prolonged chronic puberty.

Anno: It’s not what society ordinarily calls puberty.

Hagio: A never ending puberty, in this age, could it perhaps be because there are no more rites of passage?

Anno: Sure enough, you have to bungee jump. (laughter)

Hagio: A ritual to let your childhood die and then replay it, such a thing doesn’t exist now. Taking entrance exams may be the closest to [a rite of passage].

Sato: Don’t you feel like lately that around age 30 is when the coming of age ceremony actually happens?

Hagio: For that part, that’s when the stories takes on that role I think.

Sato: As a ritual?

Hagio: It’s not a ritual, but perhaps more intuitive? A trial run on a mock life. By that definition, I noticed Eva is just like that. I had an acquaintance who is a teacher from the Kyoto Steiner school. They saw the Eva movie in theaters. At that time they found the reactions of the people watching to be more interesting than the story. They had thought, isn’t it like we’ve all come to see the rite of passage which we all failed? I thought so as well “that’s right, that is interesting.” The rite of passage to become an adult after entering puberty, be it Gundam or Eva those stories put people in a position where they are observing the world, observing themselves, experiencing war and such.

Sato: Anno-san, were you considering all this…

Anno: I didn’t make it like that. But when I was making the movie I was thinking of this a little.

Hagio: When I watched Eva it ended up overlapping with the book Childhood [by Jan Myrdal]. It’s a book about a mother who can’t love her child. She thinks “I have to take care of this child”, but even so she can’t love him. I wonder what happens to children raised like this. Children learn from their parents. In truth there will be consequences for the parent, but the question on my mind was children who can’t find their place with the parent, where can they find their place instead? Although I thought you were such a person when you were making Eva, Anno-san. (laughter)

Sato: Speaking of, the other day you were on a TV show teaching grade schoolers about anime, Anno-san. What do you think of children?

Anno: I was scared of being in contact with children. I don’t understand the appropriate distance to take. I believe even the most casual thing an adult says mustn’t traumatize them, I end up becoming oversensitive. In grade school during still drawing class, I’d draw roof tiles and other detailed things, but humans moved around and I found it annoying, so I never drew people. Because of that my teacher said “this isn’t a child’s drawing,” which deeply hurt me. In the end, from that experience I think it was a part of the reason why I decided on working with drawing. Even though I opposed standardized education, I really felt the difficulty of dealing with not having a basic manual.

By the way, how much longer until Zankoku na Kami ga Shihai Suru [trans: A Cruel God Reigns] ends? I made a mistake. I wanted to read it all at once, right, so I refrained from buying it but… when volume 6 came out I ended up buying all of them.

Hagio: Oh yes, right. July next year I think.

Anno: Understood. Then the final collected volume will be out in the fall of next year. Hmm well that means I can enjoy it for another year. Understood.

Sato: Isn’t that great.

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Translated by mod Juli, with assistance from two financially compensated native speakers.

A scan of the full interview raws has now been added to the wordpress version!

#translation #hideaki anno #moto hagio #shimako sato

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marlequinncos · 4 months

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Cosplay Build Guide: Marko's Jacket from The Lost Boys (1987)

I am a lover of the horror genre; horror movies, books, games, you name it! And one of my favorite horror movies is the 1987 classic “The Lost Boys”, which focuses on a gang of motorcycle-riding vampires in the fictional California town of Santa Carla. I'm also a big fan of thrifting and modifying items for cosplay. I decided to combine those two things and make a garment that has lived rent-free in my head since I first saw the film: the colorful patchwork jacket worn by the vampire Marko.

I'm going to walk you through how I made Marko's jacket, breaking down the different parts that comprise the garment.

Marko’s outfit is made up of several components: a white cropped tank top, light wash denim jeans, leather chaps, custom painted leather moto boots, fingerless motorcycle gloves, a black skull earring, and of course, that iconic and extremely loud jacket.

All four titular vampires have a signature jacket they wear in the movie, and Marko’s is by far the most elaborate and distinctive. It consists of three main parts: the base jacket, the Italian tapestries, and the patches. Because of the nature of this build, I had to do a ton of intensive research to determine the individual and highly specific parts of the jacket. My main references were photos from movie memorabilia auction sites whenever one of the original jackets went up for sale, since they photograph the jacket from all angles.

Part 1: The Base Jacket

Marko’s base jacket is, according to my research, a men’s black Levi’s denim jacket in a size 40, which I believe translates to a medium. Now, I’m a petite woman (5’3”, athletic but slim), so I knew that the exact jacket would be too big for my frame. Instead, I found a men’s black denim jacket in an extra small; it's very similar in style to the original, but a little better proportioned for me. It's still very much oversized though. The first things I did were remove the buttons and pockets, and I cut off the hem of the jacket and the sleeve cuffs. Then I tossed the jacket in the washing machine to fray the edges.

Part 2: The Tapestries

The hardest part of the jacket by far was finding the tapestries, for two reasons. The first is that the tapestries were all from the 1960’s and 1970’s, meaning I had to scour vintage stores and websites to find the right ones. The second is the variation. Six jackets were made for each Lost Boy in the movie; this is standard for a film, since some jackets would be used for closeups (the”hero” jackets) while others were used for stunts, and a few even have intentional holes in them for harness rigging. Because of that and the thrifted nature of the jacket, the Marko jackets for the film all differ slightly in the placement of the tapestries and patches.

There are five tapestries in total. Three are velvet: the matador, the peacock, and the leopard with the messed up face. These are impossible to dupe via Spoonflower or Contrado (custom fabric printing websites) due to the fact that these three are essentially small rugs. The other two, chariot lady and cat lady, are dupable via Spoonflower or Contrado printing since they aren’t the same fabric as the others.

The two pin-up tapestries are nearly impossible to find, more so than the velvet ones. In my months of searching, I never found either pin-up tapestry, so I had them printed by Contrado, along with the collar trim.

If you go searching for the velvet tapestries, you'll notice that there are several different versions of each one, with slight changes in color and placement of things in the art. How accurate you want to be is up to you. My peacock and matador are accurate to the tapestries on one of the stunt jackets, whereas my leopard is the correct color but wrong direction. That's doesn't bother me much, personally, especially since the leopard is the hardest of the velvet tapestries to find by far.

Once the tapestries were acquired, I measured different sections based on the dimensions of the jacket, mapped it out using washi tape on the tapestries, and then cut them all out. There was a decent amount of math involved here, specifically regarding scaling the sections of tapestry down by a few inches since my jacket is smaller than the original. I then arranged them all onto the denim jacket and pinned them in place before hand sewing them (yes, you read that right; I hand sewed this whole thing) on in the correct overlap. I also added the rhinestones to the cat lady.

I recommend using embroidery needles and upholstery thread to attach the tapestries to the jacket, due to the thickness and the weight. I also sewed along the designs in the tapestries themselves to better hide the stitching within the image.

Part 3: The Patches

Marko’s jacket has a total of 26 different patches on it, most of which are motorcycle or punk themed. For these, I found a seller on Etsy who makes 24 of them, and I used Contrado to print the remaining two (the anarchy symbol and the large skull) on canvas and added the stitching. You could thrift and find the patches as well, but here's the thing: while some of these patches are pretty easy to find, others seem to be nonexistent, to the point that I wonder if some were made exclusively for the movie. That's why I went and purchased my patches instead of hunting them down. My personal favorite is the “Screw U” one. One fun fact about the patches is that the large winged skull on the back is a leftover from the movie “The Warriors”.

I once again hand sewed these all on as per the references from the movie. You might think that ironing the patches on is an easier method, but there's a few reasons why that won't work: 1) the patches in the movie are sewn on; if you zoom in, you can see the stitching 2) I'm not sure the patches would even adhere to the velvet and velour of the tapestries and 3) if you decide you don't like the placement of a patch that you sewed on, you can just seam rip the stitching and adjust it, which you can't really do as cleanly with an ironed-on patch.

Part 4: The Tassels

The tassels on the jacket’s shoulder are not tassels at all; they’re squid skirts (a type of fishing lure), which is something I never knew existed until I started researching for this build. For these, I found a fishing tackle website that had the closest match to the colors I needed, a blue-grey/orange and a yellow/green. Both squids also have glitter and little eyes painted on.

Part 5: Weathering and Finishing Touches

Lastly, I weathered the jacket to give it that lived-in look. For the dirt/dust on the patches, I used powder eyeshadow. I also picked at the edges of the tapestries to fray them a bit. And to make the patches less stiff, I just broke the jacket in by wearing it around my house. The great thing about this jacket is that the more I wear it and the more it weathers, the better it'll look.

FAQ

How heavy and warm is the jacket?

The jacket is made of denim and rugs, so its pretty warm and heavy. It honestly feels like wearing a weighted blanket, which is a nice bonus if you're anxiety made flesh like I am. It makes a lot of sense for the jacket to be on the heavier side, because if you’ve been to Northern California, you know how cold it can get on the coast, especially at night (not sure if vampires can feel cold, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

How long did it take you to make the jacket?

I don’t time my cosplay builds, but I can guess based on the amount of TV/movies/podcasts/playlists consumed as I was working on it. I'm also pretty fast when it comes to hand sewing. By my estimation, the jacket took me about 45-50 hours of work, and that’s not counting the time I spent searching for the tapestries.

Can you make me one?

Sorry friend, I don't take commissions. Even if I did, there's no guarantee I could find the exact tapestries again. I appreciate the interest though!

I hope you enjoyed this walkthrough of Marko's jacket! This was a fun build and I'm really proud of the finished product. I'm going to make the rest of Marko's outfit + wig to complete the cosplay, so stay tuned for that!

If you have any other questions, feel free to plop them in my inbox! In addition to tumblr, you can also find my cosplay work on instagram and bluesky @/marlequinncos

#this might be my favorite thing I've ever made #the lost boys #marlequinncos #marko tlb #cosplay #my cosplay #marko the lost boys #horror #horror movies #80s movies #long post #build post

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pikahlua · 7 months

Text

MHA Chapter 416 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline 1 コミックス40巻4月4日発売‼︎ コミックス40かん4がつ4かはつばい‼︎ KOMIKKUSU 40kan 4gatsu 4ka hatsubai!! Volume 40 release on April 4th!!

tagline 2 No.416　こじ開けろ！緑谷出久‼︎　堀越耕平ナンバー416　こじあけろ！みどりやいずく‼︎　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 416 kojiakero! Midoriya Izuku!! Horikoshi Kouhei No. 416 Pry it open! Izuku Midoriya!! Kouhei Horikoshi

1 待テまテ maTE "Wait."

2 デクさん… DEKU-san... "Deku-san..."

3 助けないと…‼︎ たすけないと…‼︎ tasukenai to...!! "I have to help...!!"

4 アソコマデ何百キロモアルンダヨアソコマデなんびゃっキロモアルンダヨ ASOKO MADE nanbya KIRO MO ARUNDA YO "That place is hundreds of kilometers [away]."

5 乗ってきたノで戻れば…！のってきたノでもどれば…！ notte kita NO de modoreba...! "We rode here, so if I go back...!"

6 荼毘ヤマキアソシテAFO… だびヤマキアソシテオール・フォー・ワン… Dabi YA Makia SOSHITE OORU FOO WAN... "Dabi and Machia, and then All For One..."

7 想定以上ニ戦闘規模ガ広ガリ避難システムニモ影響ガ及ンデイルそうていいじょうニせんとうきぼガひろガリひなんシステムニモえいきょうガおよンデイル soutei ijou NI sentou kibo GA hiroGARII hinan SHISUTEMU NI MO eikyou GA oyoNDE IRU "The scale of the battle spread more than expected, and the effect is reaching the evacuation system."

8 今ハ動カセナイいまハうごカセナイ ima WA ugoKASENAI "We can't move it now."

9 でも…！ demo...! "But...!"

10 ソレニ… SORE NI... "Additionally..."

1 「巻キ戻シ」エネルギーモ「まキもどシ」エネルギーモ「maKImodoSHI」 ENERUGII MO "the Rewind energy"

2 マダ溜マッテナイダロウマダたマッテナイダロウ MADA taMATTENAI DAROU "hasn't accumulated yet, right?"

3 …行ケタトシテモソレデハ殆ド意味ガ無イ …イケタトシテモソレデハホトンドイミガナイ ...IKETA TO SHITEMO SORE DE WA HOTONDO IMI GA NAI "...Even if you could go, there would almost be no meaning."

4 イレイザーノ時ニワカッタダロウイレイザーノときニワカッタダロウ IREIZAA NO toki NI WAKATTA DAROU "You understood when [you were with] Eraser, right?"

5 ちょうとダンプカーにひかれたけど相澤先生　元気ダヨちょうとダンプカーにひかれたけどあいざわせんせい　げんきダヨ chouto DANPUKAA ni hikareta kedo Aizawa-sensei genki DARO Aizawa-sensei was run over by a dump truck, but he's fine.

6 気持ハ痛イ程ワカルガきもちハいたイほどワカルガ kimochi WA itaI hodo WAKARU GA "I understand the feeling is painful, but"

7 我々ハ信ジルシカナインダヨわれわれハしんジルシカナインダヨ wareware WA shinJIRU SHIKA NAINDARO "there is nothing we can do but believe."

1 エリちゃんの夢!⁉︎ エリちゃんのゆめ!⁉︎ ERI-chan no yume!!? Eri-chan's dream!!?

2 じゃあ jaa Then,

3 僕も尚更頑張らなくちゃ！ぼくもなおさらがんばらなくちゃ！ boku mo naosara ganbaranakucha! I have to do my best even more!

4 緑谷兄ちゃんはみどりやにいちゃんは Midoriya-niichan wa "Midoriya-niichan,*" (*Note: This word means "big brother" or is an honorific for a young boy/man a younger person looks up to.)

5 すぐ泣きべソかくんだよ… すぐなきべソかくんだよ… sugu nakibeSO kakunda yo... "his face [looks like] it's about to cry, so he's hiding it..."

1 こうたくん… Kouta-kun... "Kouta-kun..."

2 僕も泣き虫だから…！ぼくもなきむしだから…！ boku mo nakumushi dakara...! "[I can tell] because I'm a crybaby too...!"

3 兄ちゃんが頑張ってるとねにいちゃんががんばってるとね niichan ga ganbatteru to ne "Big brother (niichan) is doing his best."

4 何かしなきゃって思うんだなにかしなきゃっておもうんだ nani ka shinakya tte omounda "That's why it feels like we have to do something."

5 おまえがここで休んだらおまえがここでやすんだら omae ga koko de yasundara If you rest here,

6 俺たち元の暮らしに戻るのかよ？おれたちもとのくらしにもどるのかよ？ ore-tachi moto no kurashi ni modoru no ka yo? will we go back to our old lives?

1 皆がいてくれるからみんながいてくれるから minna ga ite kureru kara Because everyone is here [with me],

2-3 全部取り戻しますぜんぶとりもどします zenbu torimodoshimasu we'll get it all back.

1 物間っ！しっかり‼︎ ものまっ！しっかり‼︎ Monoma! shikkari!! "Monoma! Hang in there!!"

2 緑谷さん…また黒いお姿に…！みどりやさん…またくろいおすがたに…！ Midoriya-san...mata kuroi osugata ni...! (literal) "Midoriya-san...[his] black form again...!" (contextual) "Midoriya-san...[he's turning into] his dark form again...!"

3 ねえヤオモモ nee YAOMOMO "Hey, Yaomomo."

1 コミックで KOMIKKU de "In comics,"

2 よくあるじゃんね… yoku aru jan ne... "[there's this thing that] happens often..."

3-4 「俺はあいつを信じてる！」ってさ「おれはあいつをしんじてる！」ってさ「ore wa aitsu wo shinjiteru!」 tte sa "'I believe in that guy!'"

4 俺とか切島くらいの立ち位置の奴が言うの… おれとかきりしまくらいのたちいちのやつがいうの… ore toka Kirishima kurai no tachi ichi no yatsu ga iu no... "It's something some guy in a role like mine or Kirishima's says."

5 そのような作品にはまだ出逢えてなくて… そのようなさくひんにはまだであえてなくて… sono you na sakuhin ni wa mada deaete nakute... "I haven't come across any works like that yet..."

6 少年系読まんもんね… しょうねんけいよまんもんね… shounen-kei yoman mon ne... "You don't read the shounen genre..."

7 緑谷さ…多分今世界で一番強ェのに… みどりやさ…たぶんいませかいでいちばんつえェのに… Midoriya sa...tabun ima sekai de ichiban tsueE noni... "You see, Midoriya...is probably the strongest person in the world right now, but..."

8 何でだろうなあ… なんでだろうなあ… nande darou naa... "I wonder why..."

9-10 オールマイトみたく"もう大丈夫"って…思えねェんだよなあ… オールマイトみたく"もうだいじょうぶ"って…おもえねェんだよなあ… OORU MAITO mitaku "mou daijoubu" tte...omoeneEnda yo naa... "I can't imagine...that 'it's all right now' like what All Might says..."

11 ヤオモモ…… YAOMOMO...... "Yaomomo......"

12 心配すんのは信用してねェってことになんのかなあ？しんぱいすんのはしんようしてねェってことになんのかなあ？ shinpai sun no wa shinyou shite neE tte koto ni nan no ka naa? "Does my worrying mean I don't believe in him?"

1 そう‼︎予断を許さない負傷者から！そう‼︎よだんをゆるさないふしょうしゃから！ sou!! yodan wo yurusanai fushousha kara! "Yes!! From an unpredictable injured person!"

2 雄英の子‼︎グラビティみたいな名前の…わかんない！とりあえず　すぐ着くから‼︎ ゆうえいのこ‼︎グラビティみたいななまえの…わかんない！とりあえず　すぐつくから‼︎ yuuei no ko!! GURABITI mitai na namae no...wakannai! toriaezu sugu tsuku kara!! "A UA kid!! The one with a name like Gravity...I don't know! Anyways, [we'll] be there soon!!"

3 雄英ロボが向かっているそうですゆうえいロボがむかっているそうです yuuei ROBO ga mukatte iru sou desu "It looks like the UA robots are on their way."

4 グラビティって子が危ないみたいグラビティってこがあぶないみたい GURABITI tte ko ga abunai mitai "It looks like the Gravity kid is in danger."

5 あ a "Ah!"

6 おい oi "Hey!"

7 緑谷の映像来てるぞ何じゃコリャみどりやのえいぞうきてるぞなんじゃコリャ Midoriya no eizou kiteru zo nan ja KORYA "The video of Midoriya is coming, what the hell is this?"

8 今はいいので早く！いまはいいのではやく！ ima wa ii node hayaku! "It's fine now, so hurry!"

9 ウラビティ…… URABITI...... Uravity......

10 あの子だ…… あのこだ…… ano ko da...... It's that kid......

1 もしも moshimo If

2-3 もしも全員が少しだけ"みんな"のことを思えたならもしもぜんいんがすこしだけ"みんな"のことをおもえたなら moshimo zen'in ga sukoshi dake "minna" no koto wo omoeta nara If all of us could think of "everyone," just a little bit

1 何で私が緑谷についたかなんでわたしがみどりやについたか nande watashi ga Midoriya ni tsuita ka "Why did I head for Midoriya?"

2 あいつは aitsu wa "Because that guy"

3 心をこじ開けるんだこころをこじあけるんだ kokoro wo kojiakerunda "pries open hearts."

small text 1 レディ・ナガン REDI ・ NAGAN Lady Nagant

small text 2 元・ヒーロー敵もと・ヒーローヴィラン moto ・ HIIROO VIRAN Former Hero/Villain

small text 1 プロヒーロー・ロックロック PURO HIIROO ・ ROKKU ROKKU Pro Hero Rock Lock

4 悪人にとってあくにんにとって akunin ni totte "For the bad guys,"

5-6 一番嫌な事をしてくるんだよいちばんいやなことをしてくるんだよ ichiban iya na koto wo shite kurunda yo "he's come to do what they can't stand the most."

7 まァ maA "Well,"

8 敵退治はいかに早く戦意喪失させるかだからなヴィラン(たいじ*)はいかにはやくせんいそうしつさせるかだからな VIRAN taiji wa ikani hayaku sen'i soushitsu saseru ka dakara na "the key to eliminating villains is how quickly you make them lose the will to fight, that's why." (Note: This line was originally spoken by Fatgum in chapter 134.)

9 多分たぶん tabun "Perhaps"

10 今もそうなんだいまもそうなんだ ima mo sou nanda "now is also like that."

11 勧善懲悪を徹しきれないかんぜんちょうあくをてっしきれない kanzenchouaku wo tesshi kirenai "It's not enough to devote himself to rewarding good and punishing evil."

12 茨の道に夢を見てるいばらのみちにゆめをみてる ibara no michi ni yume wo miteru "He's dreaming on a path of thorns."

13 その面があまりに必死なもんだからーーーそのつらがあまりにひっしなもんだからーーー sono tsura ga amari ni hisshi na mon dakara--- "That aspect of him is so desperate* that---" (*Note: This word in Japanese means that this aspect of Izuku is something that he does "desperately, frantically, with all his might.")

1 ついつい応援したくなっちまうついついおうえんしたくなっちまう tsuitsui ouen shitaku nacchimau "against my better judgment, I want to root for him."

2 がんばれ ganbare "Do your best!"

1 来るなあくるなあ kuru naa (literal) "Don't come!" (contextual) "Stay back!"

2 やめろ yamero "Stop,"

3 転弧てんこ Tenko "Tenko!"

tagline デクの前に現れたのは⁉︎ デクのまえにあらわれたのは⁉︎ DEKU no mae ni arawareta no wa!? What has appeared in front of Deku!?

1-3 あの家から連なる全ての崩壊だあのいえからつらなるすべてのほうかいだ ano ie kara tsuranaru subete no houkai da The decay of everything extending from that house.

#my hero academia leak translations #mha 416 #bnha 416 #my hero academia manga spoilers #final arc spoilers #the foreshadowing in this chapter is reaching critical mass #horikoshi i don't think you could look into the camera any harder even if you wanted to

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gallusrostromegalus · 6 months

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Ehehe, I see that Josuke Araki has made his way into your script :P

Are there any other JoJo's floating around in Soul Society and beyond?

So I like to populate the background characters of my fic with characters from another series as just a fun reference, but I feel like some people are reading into it a little to much. It's like- well, there's a watsonian perspective on it and a doylist one and a sort of meta-watsonian one.

From the watsonian/in-narrative perspective? You know that line from that Stucky fic everyone loves about "we deserve a soft epilogue?" I like to imagine AUs for main characters where they still live in an animeverse, but are free from the burden of being The Main Character. Usuke Urameshi lives in Karakura town, but he was never The Spirit Detective. He's just some former punk with mild psychic abilities who runs the ramen shop Ichigo goes to sometimes. Josuke is just some guy that has enough power to be a shinigami, but he's just like, rank and file. You see him in crowd shots. They're alternate universe versions of their full powered, main character selves and probably happier than those versions.

From a doylist perspective, it's a fun game of reference tag to play with the reader. A sort of where's Waldo of random characters from related series. Sort of like putting Samuel L Jackson in a bit part in your movie and giving him a purple prop to fiddle with. He's not playing Mace Windu, but for sharp-eyed nerds, he is making a star wars reference. Sometimes it's just for fun, sometimes is a way to lay on some really subtle thematic context. Like overlaying a 8% opacity layer of yellow on a digital piece to give the impression of late afternoon. Nothing explicit. Nothing relevant to the plot. Just a bit of seasoning.

From a meta-watsonian perspective, a lot of how I write fic was influenced by the old Kids WB bumps where the voice actors would play their characters *as though they were actors hanging out on the warner studios lot* Batman was still Batman, but he was also a guy playing Batman on TV. Yugi moto still had the cosmic powers of the millennium puzzle but also complained about how much time he had to spend in hair and makeup. So when you see a character from another series in my fic, they're an alternate universe version of themselves that is Not Relevant To The Plot, and on another level they're like an actor famous on another show, coming in to do a bit part on their friend's show for funsies.

...but mostly I do it so I don't have to make up names for OCs I'm only using for four seconds.

To actually answer your question: Yuzu is a HUGE fan of this educational YouTube channel run by Marine Biologist Jotaro Kujo. He's the only guy who gives echinoderms their due. She shows Ukitake and Unohana and they like him a lot too. Unohana writes to him to put him in touch with Hanataro and the two put together a major survey of venomous marine life with potential medical applications. Ukitake just likes fish :).

#AEIWAM #An Elephant Is Warm And Mushy #bleach #bleach fanfic #metanarrative #the thing to remember is that i don't do intergated crossovers #but sometimes friends will do a bit on thier friend's show

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squidzillaa · 1 month

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DEDICATE YOUR HEART ✊🏻🫀

An explanation of what Levi’s gesture towards Hange Really meant, and how Isayama parallels other AOT media, (ex: smartpass stories and ACWNR), to his manga. 📚🦋🪲

ACWNR chapter 5 is titled HEARTS (2013):

This is the chapter where Hange is first introduced, and talks about dedicating one’s heart:

Hange’s Confession to Levi (2020):

youtube

Levi’s confession to Hange (2020):

Mistranslation and Ego Surfing 🏄🏻‍♂️:

youtube

Smartpass story (2017):

“An unthinkable move for a soilder who publicly announced that he offers up his heart.”

“Dedicate your heart.” (2020):

Similar to Nile, Levi does an “unthinkable” move of publicly dedicating His and Hange’s heart’s together. He purposely does it wrong by putting His Left Fist (ring finger 💍) on Hange’s heart and says the famous scout motto, which was the first time he’s “ever said that.” Because Levi and Hange both 'proposed', Levi's gesture towards Hange seals their relationship. (Marriage):

🫀+🫀 Combined hearts

(Side note: SSS/DYH was the Survey Corps moto long before Erwin was ever commander, so it is not His saying. Proof: In the anime Zachary is the first to say it and it is used + talked about in ACWNR. This is information for the antis who claim that Levi used Erwin’s moto towards Hange. 🤗)

This is the one and only time he has ever said the moto, because he had found where to truly dedicate his heart:

This was a mutual dedication not an individual one. If it Was individual, he could have said, "Hange, dedicate your heart.” or "I dedicate my heart.” Along with the normal salute, which is your right hand on the heart. Instead he (metaphorically) combines their hearts, and they actually become LeviHan:

Just like ACWNR chapter 5 title ⬆️, •••HEARTS••• is placed Right above Hange, who is CENTERED in the middle of Erwin, Petra, and Moblit. She is placed paralleled to Levi, mirroring his same expression, while the rest are neutral:

Levi now lives alongside Onyankopon, Gabi, Falco, and Yelena. They advocate for peace and fulfill Hange’s legacy. One of her main goals was to understand the “enemy”, live with and show them that they aren’t the vicious “devils” they fear them to be. To unite as one, so there’s no more war, discrimination, revenge, and hate. For mankind is made equal. 🌏

Levi watches the plane (Hange) that flys above them. As he faces his right side, his blind eye is opened and in view, so his other half (Hange) can watch the world through. Levi is living half for himself and half for Hange. Double symbolism. 🔀🧬🪢💞😎

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #levi snk #hange snk #levi attack on titan #hange attack on titan #levi x hange #levi aot #hange aot #levihan analysis #aot analysis #manga analysis #anaylsis

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asnowperson · 11 days

Text

An essay on the theme of children-parent relationships in Hagio Moto's works by Murakami Tomohiko

For years, I avoided reading the essays that were included at the end of bunkoban volumes. Reading Japanese prose felt like a chore to me, to be honest. A too high of a hurdle. And most of the time, the contents went over my head.

That being said, since I started reading them, I've come across some pretty interesting ones. The analysis written by Murakami Tomohiko, manga critic, at the end of Mesh's vol. 3 (Hakusensha Bunko, 1994) was particularly interesting for me. So, I tried my hand at translating butchering it. The author compares the boys in Hagio's manga and their family issues. You can find it below the cut.

If anyone wants to read the original, I can send pics/scans!

Province of children

Murakami Tomohiko (Manga critic)

For a child, what does it feel like to be neglected by their parents?

Mesh is the protagonist of this story. His mother, elopes with a man when he was young. His father, doubting whether he’s Mesh’s real father or not, drives him away from himself, and places him in a boarding school in the faraway Switzerland. For 12 years of his life, he believes that his mother abandoned him, and his father hates him. It’s not hard to imagine how deep the scars such feelings left in Mesh’s heart are.

Mesh’s mother gave him a girl’s name, “Françoise-Marie.” We do not know if she wanted to have a daughter that bad, but as Mesh was separated from his mother when he was 2, he never knew the truth. But how much of a deciding factor that name became for him, and how it kept bearing heavy on him in his later years, are beyond any doubt.

When Mesh was 12, silver locks started to appear on both sides of his blond hair. After seeing a proof of genetics at work, his father finally recognized him as his own son. But that wasn’t the salvation the he was looking for. When his father shifted the blame on Mesh’s mother’s licentious behavior for doubting his paternity, a new wound was opened on the young boy's heart.

“I won’t say that my mother was a saint. But for a child who lives in a dormitory... a mother something that he needs.”

Thus, in chapter 1, "Mesh,” our protagonist runs away from his paternal home. He is picked up from the streets of Paris by Millon, a young art forger. In the final chapter, “Sure Love and Real Death,” he is reunited with his mother, now living in her homeland of Lorraine. She is mentally instable and still running after the image of her "daughter" who never existed. Mesh is an abandoned child who hates his father so much that he wants to kill him, and who is struggling to break free from her mother’s chains. This manga chronicles his story of breaking free from his parents.

Children discarded by their parents. Children separated from their parents. Such children fumbling their way in their quest to find their personal salvation had been recurring motif in Hagio Moto’s works before Mesh. It is also is the principal theme of this work.

If we look back, in "Bianca (ビアンカ)," she drew a girl who danced away the stress the divorce of her parents caused in a forest. In “Girl on Porch with Puppy (ポーチで少女が小犬と),” she shows us another girl who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. Grown-ups who lost their dreams point their fingers at her, and shoot her with death rays. Or take Emil Bruckhardt from “Snow Child (雪の子).” He was taken in by his grandfather after his parents’ death, who anly accepted for taking the child in if it was a "boy." 12 years of Emil's life was spent by his side, pretending to be a boy. Young Tim from “Poor Mama (かわいそうなママ)” pushes his mother out of the window. He could no longer bear witnessing her misery, as she spent her days sitting at the window sill, gazing off in the distance, and sighing. The free-spirited and brave Eru of the Nobe family in “Red-haired Cousin (赤ッ毛のいとこ)" shows no sign that would make you think that she is an orphan.

They were all children torn apart from their parents.They had to find somewhere to belong, and find it themselves.

The Poe Clan has two boys who were taken away from their biological human parents and turned into vampires, destined to live until eternity. If we think about under the same light, we can say it's their story of trying their hardest to create a pseudo-family for themselves time and time again on their endless journey. The beautiful Poe instalment, "Birds’ Nest (小鳥の巣)," and works like "Heart of Thoma (トーマの心臓)" that followed it, all take place in worlds that have nothing but boys torn apart from their families. It is no coincidence that dormitories were chosen as their settings.

Mesh was published in Shogakukan’s Petit Flower magazine between the 1980 summer issue and 1984 June issue. Mesh was preceded by "The Visitor (訪問者)" in the 1980 Spring issue.

In "The Visitor," we follow a central character from "The Heart of Thomas," Oskar Reiser, during his childhood, before he starts to live at the dormitory. Its main theme is directly connected to that of Mesh. Young Oskar’s parents quarrel over his birth. One day, a single gunshot steals that little boy’s mother from him forever. The one who fired the shot was his father. The boy covers up for his father, and the two set out on journey with no destination. However, Oskar’s father leaves him at the school, of which the principal is an old friend of his and Oskar's real father, and leaves for Southern America alone.

Oskar kept yearning for his father, the father who stole his mother away from him, without begrudging him. He did so, because he had nothing else in life to cling onto. As his father and mother argued about his paternity, the child lost that household as the place he belonged. Young Oskar’s only wish was to be forgiven by his parents, and to believe that he would be acknowledged as the son of that family. To make his wish come true, to beg for his father’s forgiveness, Oskar covers up for his father, the murderer of his mother, and sticks even closer to him.

Our protagonist Mesh is a direct continuation of the image of boyhood we see in "The Visitor"s Oskar Reiser. This link continues until Hagio’s current serialization, "A Cruel God Reigns", and shapes the main plot of her stories. “Children abandoned by their parents” has been present as a principal theme since Hagio Moto's early works. The turning point which made this theme even deeper, might be just this period that connects "The Visitor" to "Mesh."

How did Mesh rationalize his mother giving him a girl’s name? He mostly introduces himself using his alias, “Mesh,” to new acquaintances, and he is very adamant about it. Those who are unaware of the circumstances are left perplexed by that name, and mistake Mesh for a girl. He seems to find that amusing deep down. He crossdresses and appears on stage, and he is approached by homosexual men. Both makes him feel uncomfortable. Yet, he doesn’t seem to have a the willpower to resist.

Actually, I have also experienced something similar. So I believe I understand how Mesh feels a little.

When I was roughly Mesh’s age, I was a child who liked to act like a girl. In high school, I put a tablecloth on my desk in class, made flower arrangements with artificial flowers in an empty wine bottle instead of a proper vase, and listened to lectures while holding a stuffed doll. Mine was quite a free-minded school, and it was an age when all kinds of rebellious acts were "in." But still, when I think back upon it, what I did seems outrageous to me. Maybe I was just too eccentric, which is why my teachers never said anything to me.

I was jealous of my mother’s colorful outfits. I often borrowed and wore them. Her sleek green trench coat and tank top with pink and white borders from Kamoi Youko’s underwear brand, Tunic, were my favorites. I once even made a dress for myself. I chose the fabric with my girlfriend, did the basting at her place, and she sewed it for me. She tagged along because she found it to be fun, but I’m certain that she was weirded out.

I am still a sucker for stationary and fancy items girls would like. If I go to Sony Plaza or American Pharmacy, I am confident that I can spend half a day there. There aren’t many fathers who would go to buy picture books and plushies for their kid, but get carried out and just buy whatever they want.

Putting it like that makes me sound like a man with perverse hobbies, but sadly, I am not such inclined. I have never felt attracted to men, and never have I ever wanted to be a woman. My interest in crossdressing had something different in it. But I am interested in feminine, rather, “girlish” things, but it only means that I am slightly different than your average, common man.

That being said, my mother’s influence on me cannot be ignored. When I finished my dress, it was her who was the happiest and told me to wear it and take a little tour outside. During my freshman year in university, she was the one who lamented the most when I cut my hair that was reaching my butt, and made a hairpiece with my hair for me. When I was in grade school, I once trimmed my eyelashes with a pair of scissors because they were getting in the way when I was using the microscope. I remember her being frustrated to the point of bursting into tears, and getting so angry with me.

I believe it was my mother who slowly created my very particular aesthetic sense by praising things like long eyelashes, lustrous, straight hair, a slender physique which becomes female school uniforms. All things that would be the charm points of budding young girls, and she did it at every chance. I am an only child, and have no siblings. When I was a child, my mother once asked me if I wanted to have little brothers or sisters. I told her that I would like to have an older brother, which seemed to perplex her. Maybe my mother wanted to have a daughter. She could be looking for the shadow of the daughter she never had in me.

I don’t really know the truth of it. Maybe she just said that I looked like a girl just to express how cute her son was, without putting much thought into it. But the words she said, words I have no recollection of, very likely had a huge impact on me and awakened something deep inside my soul. My personal preferences took shape around that idea, and before I knew it, it seeped into my entire being.

My mother was a beautician, and was often away from home on business. After she opened her own store, she was always busy with work. But that was all there was to it, and it was not like she had left me, or we were separated by death. And it never became a reason for my parents to hurt or to oppress me. I can say that overall, I grew up in a your rather ordinary, warm household. I still started to shape my very own personality, alongside the one my parents took part in creating. Then how about a child who feels hated, or abandoned by his parents? How would he feel? To heal the wounds he got from his parents and to ail himself, would he acknowledge it all, and accept everything? Or would complete denial be his only choice?

That's why Mesh wanted to kill his father and break free from his mother’s curse. While he wanted to be freed from his mother’s desire to have a daughter, in some corner of his mind, he was curious about what would happen if he complied. Maybe that’s what made him stand on the stage as a woman, and occasionally enjoy being photographed as one. Maybe that’s why he sometimes shut up and endured it when men treated him like a girl.

Maybe fulfilling his mother’s wish meant securing a place in her heart for him. It might have been a self-defense mechanism — a feeling that only children abandoned by their parents know. That’s why when he faced her, and saw that his mentally ailing mother would never accept him, a boy, Mesh said: “Just what does Marché want? How can I get close to what she wants? What should I become? Marché’s dreams, and my dreams... If only I knew...”

“A thousand pairs of scissors. Scissors that cut and mince. I could have become a flower, a bird, a daughter... I could have become anything you wanted. I could have died a thousand deaths if you wished for it.”

We do not know the reasons why she wanted to have a daughter. No matter what they might be, accepting them as they are, that complete subordination, is an expression of his willingness to bend to his mother's will. What does it feel like to hear “I hate this child” from a mother who can’t even tell his son apart? But Mesh even accepts his mother trying to stab him with shears without saying a single word.

Where does Mesh’s determination, which is almost commendable, come from? What steeled his resolve so? I think it was something closer to despair, rather than a wish to be delivered. Mesh’s hatred and his murderous thoughts towards his father are the two sides of the same coin. Killing his father, who hated both him and his mother, and accepting death by the hands of the mother who forgot her own son: They are actually one and the same. Thus, the child abandoned by his parents try to erase his ties to them. By resetting everything, he tries to make it as if he never existed.

There is probably just one thing he’s trying to say with his behavior.

"I’m sorry.

"I couldn’t be the child you wanted.

"I couldn’t meet your expectations.

"I’m sorry that I was born..."

In “The Visitor”, in the middle of his endless journey with his father, Oskar says these words time and time again: "I will be a good child. I won’t talk about my mom anymore. I’m sorry." Then he obliges his father by starting to live in a dormitory, and waits for his father to be back from South America. This must have been no different than choosing death for Oskar, a child who wanted to be the son of a warm household.

When he doesn’t resist his mother’s attempt to kill him, something inside of Mesh shattered to pieces. He arrives at Paris train station with his broken hopes as his baggage, and he catches a glimpse of his father boarding a train. His father, who acknowledged him as “his son who shares the same blood as him” without so much as a thought about how that made Mesh feel. All Mesh can do is to stand there, motionless. Even if that's the only place he can come back to now.

All children need a place they belong. A place where they feel they can just “be.” Children do not belong to their parents, or other adults. No one shall undermine their right to self-determination. Mesh shows us how much hardship children have to endure, and the sacrifices they have to make when grown-ups forget this fact.

#村上知彦 #murakami tomohiko #tomohiko murakami #hagio moto #moto hagio #萩尾望都 #24年組 #year 24 group #classic manga #vintage shoujo #retro shoujo #manga analysis #manga essay #heart of thomas #トーマの心臓 #メッシェ #mesh #訪問者 #visitor

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sakumz · 1 year

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₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. [ i. shu x fem reader ]

a/n : um... I got a shit ton of editing and rewriting to do lmfao, like there's a few shots for bllk and there's still that pending mysta fic. ૮ ⚆ﻌ⚆ა

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" sleepover... at a friend's house? " shu asked once more, hoping what he heard wasn't true.

" yeah. mom said I could go. I'll be leaving tonight, " his sister, motoko answers. rendering the poor man speechless.

" your friend isn't kitahara, right? " he questions, his eyes twitching slightly with what the younger man could do to his sister.

" n-no! it's a girl. her sibling goes to your school anyway. ah! if you're sooo concern, you could come with me. her sibling did say I can invite you... " without a second thought, he said yes.

the walk to your house wasn't as quiet. shu was asking his sister all sorts of questions to what or who you are. his sister doesn't know your name but describing your features wasn't helping them as shu can't recall anyone with said features.

" welcome! oh you really brought your brother along. I thought big sis was joking around when she said that, " shu wanted to scream, upon hearing your sister's words. you are a girl? motoko didn't specify earlier, he only came thinking this "sibling" was a guy and could take advantage of the situation.

" why are you making the guests wait out in the cold? drag them in! " hearing your voice calling from the brightly lit room, snapped him out of his little world.

motoko, being the angel she was, grabbed her brother wrist and dragged him along with her to the house.

" you're not gonna run away now, are you? " motoko whispers as shu gulps and shook his head, assuring her lightly that he won't.

as they got comfortable with your house after a little tour by your younger sister. everyone is seated in the living room by the table. motoko and your sister decided to do some light homework as you and shu sat quietly facing each other. you're on the phone as shu tries to distract himself by studying a little but he can't.

" you can't seriously be studying right, pfft seems a little uncharacteristic. " hearing you directly speak to him, made him jump.

" ne, motoko. let's go to my room! let's study there instead. " motoko agreed with your sister and they quickly pack up and go. leaving you and him alone.

" they say it's not safe to leave a man and a woman alone, you know. " you pout seeing them go.

" I won't do anything, I swear! also, where are your parents? how come, you don't mind me tagging along moto to your place? " he finally asks.

" oh that, parents are out on some sort of wedding anniversary thing overseas. I didn't really expect you to come, hahaha. I gotta tell toru and the others this. " snapping a sudden picture of the man, left him flustered a bit. looking at his face you double take a photo of him. one with his flush faced in.

" I can't believe you. you even know toru, yet I barely remember you besides being the council secretary. you don't hang around sengoku and remi- "

" I can't stand both of them, acting all lovey dovey especially remi! she won't stop running her mouth about dates and love around me. she tells me I should find love but well... its hard so I avoid them, toru and the others are ok to a certain level. hori and miyamura may be together but they're tolerable same with the other pair. "

hearing your outburst, left the man to think for abit before opening his mouth. he shouldn't put up an act and fake his happy bubbly personality infront of you especially right now since he's been quiet at the start.

" it's late and we should sleep, you can take the couch or you can sleep in my bedroom, I'll just take my parents room for the night. "

" oh I'll take the couch just fine, thanks. " just like that the sleepover was over in a blink of an eye.

" hey toru, wanna hit the cafe after school? " shu suggests as his dear friend agrees and they're there, ordering their meals before looking for a seat.

" ne, y/n y/n! you got your eyes set on anyone yet? you seem pretty happy today. " remi starts as you cough and place your drink down.

sakura pats your back as you thank her in between your fit of coughs. the boys decide to settle in the table behind yours, staying quiet as to listen in on the conversation. being your gaming buddy, toru is indeed very curious about the sudden tea remi was stirring.

" was it the sleepover? " sakura questions as remi looks slightly offended dropping her cookie.

" you had a sleepover and you didn't invite me? " she pouts, making you frown.

" it wasn't like that. it was between my sister and her friend... she invited her brother, that's all. "

hearing your words, shu blushes from the embarrassment of what you said as toru stops eating to fully focus on the conversation. remi and sakura are stunned but it doesn't stop them from prying further.

" h-h-her brother was at your house so it was just three girls and a guy? did he do anything, was he harsh- " sakura was interrupted by remis own questions.

" who's the guy? do you know him? " shu can't help but stand from his seat. the sudden noise of the chair screeching, left everyone quiet to look at the source.

" iura? " you called as the girls tilt their heads in confusion.

" he... iura was at your house? " remi clarifies as toru look at his friend that got up to throw his trash.

" yeah but not only that he's here too. that means... toru is here too. " hearing his name he can't help but turn to wave at you, he's been caught red handed. shu stops to greet you before moving back to his seat at toru.

" back to the topic at hand, " sakura brought the two of you back as the boys were still quietly listening.

" I don't even want to talk about it anymore, " you put your head on the table as sakura comforts you by rubbing your back.

" it's fine but I am still very curious, you must have caught some sort of feeling at this point, right? everytime he barges into some sort of space you're in, there's a slight smile that crawls to your face. you don't talk to him much, but hearing others talk is kinda enough for you to figure out what type of person he is. " remi sips her drink after her little statement.

" well maybe I do like y/n-san! " shu confesses as he turn around to look at your side, making the girls shock as well as toru and you.

" dude you're too loud. " toru whispers as shu was quick to cover his face.

toru could see your slightly red face from his seat, he wanted to laugh at how cute your love story was blooming. the girls couldn't help but be stunned with the confession. it wasn't towards them but it was pretty bold and it felt like the words carried too much love to be shared.

" I'm done eating, iura... let's take this elsewhere, " you called for the green haired man as toru gave him the ok to go, he just hopes you're gonna be nice about it and not hit him like what he thinks hori would do because his loud confession got a few stares.

sakura and remi was bursting with excitement as they bid you farewell. you and him walked to a nearby bench before taking a seat.

" you... heard everything did you? " you question as he slightly pray you're not gonna hit him.

" I wasn't the only one who heard... but yes I did I'm sorry, " he looks the other way, trying to avoid all eye contact with you.

" I'm not mad, I won't hit either. um, it is true... maybe I was falling for you but can you say it again? "

" say what? "

" the confession, this time on my phone hehe. it was so adorable how you shouted I like y/n! hahaha. "

" don't remind me, besides a love confession should just be remembered... but whatever makes you happy. ahem, I love you y/n. please be my girlfriend and go out with me. "

" I love you too, shu. I'll gladly be your girlfriend. "

thats when a sweet love story blooms between you two, everyone was shock with the news of the two people they least expected to date was dating. but those don't matter as long as you were both happy.

#sakumz.pdf #shuu iura #iura shu x reader #shuu iura x reader #horimiya x reader #iura shuu x reader

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