#<- ill just use this for now
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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Michael doesn’t like Halloween anymore in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#abby schmidt#fnaf gregory#fnaf 4#security breach#fnaf movie#listen this started as a funny grim joke#but the more I think about#I genuinely think Michael doesn’t like Halloween#and has not worn a costume since the events of fnaf 4#I CAN UNDERSTAND that the whole occasion just makes him numb now#so he truly hasn’t worn a costume since the foxy mask#something that use to make him happy as kid#is now just another month for him#sorry for this funny comic to be sad#ILL MAKE a comic where Michael’s happy again sometime promise 😔
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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obligatory beach divorce doodling
bonus rough cover redraw of x-men #41 (1995) But Beach Divorce below cut
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#'snap i thought you were drawing old cherik this weekend' so did i but i was inflicted with visions sorry </3#i have my lil 92 comic sketched so ill do that tomorrow. not finish it but ill work on it 💀#i wsa just gonna draw the first thing but then i figureed i might as well draw Most of the beach-divorce-related things i want to#just so i could put it all on one post. however this is a lie and i know ill wanna doodle more beach stuff#the first drawing Unsurprisingly was motivated BY the xmen 41 legion quest cover- at the very least the total blackout of erik's face#i wanna draw more of erik using his powers .. i wanna figure out how i wanna draw the effect etc etc#i was just gonna redraw the cover but i already liked the sketch i did of the first thing so. here we are#plus i figure someones already done a redraw of the cover but if anyone cares ill finish my version ig LOL#as for the comic ermmm it was just an excuse to draw erik with glowing eyes </3 and fading-glowing eyes </3#thats why i didnt draw the whole. Choking Moira bit. but i wouldve if i was redrawing the whole scene#kinda wish i did now that i think of it cause it coulda looked cooler prob but oh well maybe in like. three months when i redraw this#for exactly five cents ill redraw the whole beach divorce erlkjealkaje i can see it so clearly in my mind#what if first class was a comic drawn by a freak thatd be wild#but yeah thats why everything look rough as christ these were just supposed to be silly lil thangs#'silly things' and its beach divorce OK.#ok bye im gonna do my homework
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could i perhaps request a wolf hybrid gem one day ^^
i just realized you said wolf hybrid gem and not werewolf gem . oops,,, but i hope this is okay!
#geminitay#hermitcraft#ive been trying to draw her for days#also i hope people dont mind ill be using my art reqs as practice for my new tab T__T its kicking me in the ass with the learning curve#eydireqs#my art#hc#mcyt#im basically using all of my recent mcyt art as practice for things i just dont normally draw now lmao
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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#my art#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#harrykim#kimharry#or whatever they're called#let this man have happiness or so help me#im a firm believer in harry getting a slow post-recovery glow up alright. it's the least i can do for the guy.#man i was listening to so many banger songs while making this#im still getting back in the flow of painting so most of my stuff is kinda messy still#but i suspect ill find a middle ground between this and my last piece style-wise#gearing up to drawing kim in all his glory too now that ive finished two different side profiles of him. only a matter of time now#also fun little fact. i drew over half of this (~4 ? hours) using just my finger on the trackpad of my laptop lol#sometimes it helps me to just put shapes and colors down. when ive got a pen i get too nitpicky about being perfect/using fancy techniques#sometimes all you need is. finger 🫶#OH!! i forgot to mention someone spotted it in the tags—yes this is based on that one leyendecker piece!!
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'We go together!' 🤝
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#trying out a slightly diff line approach and rare time where i draw them with their canon-ish heights#the working title for this was medic saying that this is the start of a beautiful situationship lol#i've only just learnt the word and now like a true millenial im (mis)using it everywhere#ONE DAY ill look at reference and learn how to draw arms and hands#i have covid (AGAIN!!!!) this is like my 9th time now RIP so sorry for being quiet i'll answer my messages VEERY SOON
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Hermits in 1.21!
#my art#art#fanart#mcyt#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10#they're so cute#i was kind of skeptical about the new update but i love it now just by seeing them play#i really wanted to draw the armadillo soccer#rendog inventor of scuteball and joel scuteball pro#that and skizz and gem using windcharges for evil to the dismay of trapdoor users#but alas i got stuff#pearl immediately going to collect all the wolves#she's just like me fr#pearlescentmoon#skizzleman#grian#tangotek#impulsesv#geminitay#joel smallishbeans#rendog#this isnt showing in the tags for whatever reason so ill do it again
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Nobody’s gonna buy ur 599$ marketable plushie stop tryna sell it to us -_-
#black butler#kuroshitsuji#black butler fanart#undertaker black butler#undertaker#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#o!ciel#this was a joke post but then I was like what if I attempt a background again#it looks crusty but if u squint from afar it’s ok#the day I fully render a piece is the day I get to retire but I’m like. too lazy#just sketches with colors slapped on top#my friend taught me how to use the perspective tool and I’ve been messing with it but I am -_- lacking in knowledge#though ill mostly likely practice drawing more backgrounds now that I know how it Works
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can’t stop thinking about mob growing up 🥺
#doctorsiren#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#reigen arataka#serizawa katsuya#tome kurata#serirei#(for the sole fact that Serizawa has a wedding ring LMAO)#mp100 fanart#mp100 future#digital art#my art#procreate#I just…Ough reigen watching this little boy become a man RAH#Lily was so right…they are so ‘Father to Son’ from Falsettos….#Reigen’s all miffed in the first drawing bc he’s now the shortest out of the 3 rather than in the middle#short king 😍😍😍 (it’s just that the other two are tall)#I like to hc that Mob grows a foot and ends up as 6’2 because it’s funny to me if he’s taller than everyone including serizawa#and he’s a firefighter RAHHH using both his muscles and his psychic powers to help people 💥💥💥#sorry I’m just very ill over father and son dynamics 😭
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[ID in alt]
Some Papyruses :]
+ spreading my papyrus can float propaganda.
#theres another one i did that i like but ill prolly do that in another post#for now have some assorted doodles of him :D#fun fact originally these were grayscale but the ai shield that i use didnt fucking like that ig so i put a red overlay on it#and then it was fine so#i also like the red more so it worked out ig#also papyrus can float/fly and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT#LIKE EVERYONE ALWAYS TALKS ABOUT SANS' WEIRD SHIT#but what about PAPYRUS???#he literally just fucks off through the air after your fight and no one mentions it again???#like HELLO????#sunn art#dont repost#undertale#papyrus#fanart#artists on tumblr
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With the return of my hyperfixation, have some art I've drawn in the past I don't think I've ever posted to Tumblr
#people on twitter still using the last one to this day will always send me#second one is also just a closeup but now that i look at the og i dont really like the fulli mage#might redraw it at some point#also ive a lot more art but i dont feel like making an art dump#maybe ill post em later#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#jttw#journey to the west#lmk wukong#sun wukong#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#mk#macaque#lmk macaque#six eared macaque#lmk six eared macaque#monkey mk#lmk monkey mk#lmk soysauce duo#art dump#digital
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hi heres art so you pay attention to me now go read the tags
#ive been rewatching episode 7 like its the only thing on youtube and made note of many things#first off. the solver can only have one host. nori mentions skyn wants to kill off all the other solver hosts (with the dds) and disregards#the idea of both uzi and doll being its current host when they get chased#plus the main solver possessions only occur when skyn is out of the picture (the fightt in ep 7 is only after n decapitates “tessa”)#solver uzi is possible too but i dont count her cause she doesn't have the yellow#personal theory is that its more an instinctual response to overheating or something and not full on possession#second off nori calls the solver cyn. how does she know that name#cyn was on earth and only showed up to copper 9 recently and i presume nori's been here her whole life#it probably wasn't the other dds cause none of them made it down and they're all more savage beasts#since cyn specifies n's team retained their personalities and that makes me think the other teams didnt#also also we should've immediately questioned tessa arriving in the same type of pod as the mds when they were revealed to not be sent by j#im running out of characters also the people who dont like when i use tags like this can bite me#murder drones#murder drones nori#artori? that sounds cool#ill probably just stick with nori though#i have so many solver heart refs now#art#episode 7#murder drones episode 7#murder drones episode 7 spoilers#using the same black for shadows as my lineart doesn't work when i have to draw thin things over it#murder drones spoilers
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[right to left]
finally finished This Wip from Ever ago and so now i ask you ever look into another dudes eyes and suddenly want to do whatever he wants
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#the kids are here too but i aint taggin them vaeLKEVJKLJ#snap sketches#posting this now and not obsessing over the details i need to SLEEP#please click/tap and zoom to read anything im sorry theres so much dialogue#i thought i was gonna finish this sooner but i went grocery shopping with my bro today and that took longer than expected !!!!#ALSO CHAT. if youre up to date on My Lore via my tags ... my prof's lettin me submit my assignment ... life's so good...#speaking of life being good i was giggling like stupid while drawing this . i named it 'this is stupid' and i stand by that#this is so unserious im gonna make myself throw up ITS SO CORNY i make myself sick with what i draw <- will continue to do this#only god knows if this is even how that power of his works i just saw an opportunity and ran with it#the trick here is he doesnt even have to use any 'power' he can just do that to charles by default#however im making them be obnoxious about it. i am making them obnoxious over dramatic grandpas because i can#my only crime is loving the utter cheese and corniness of the 60s comics like God. anyways bye !!!!!!!#maybe one day ill finish that other comic i sketched for this weekend but i fear i wont have time to so next weekend me thinks ....#for now i hope you all enjoy this. goofy as hell nonsense jLAKJVEKLVJ
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