#<- OP YOURE SUCH A LEGEND I LOVE YOU

[dr-flipflops]

oooh yes, and the music when they're flying through the clouds ✨

The battle music rocks too

Nico's head : omg I let Octavian die knowingly I basically killed him will must think I'm a monster

Will's head : I shouldn't be attracted to this what is wrong with me 🙂

[otaku553]

Save me yi nine sols

(You should play nine sols it’s very very fun)

[acearohippo]

Mermay's over, but I'm not done with it! Anyway mermaid Tang Xuan Au where Tang Xuan is a octopus based mermaid and Li Ling is like a rich aristocrat. They meet when they are kids and become best friends then Tang Xuan goes away. So a few years down Li Ling is an adult and thinks he made it up till Tang Xuan shows up again. Lewis is also going to be in this idea (cause he deserves it) but I don't have an exact idea. I'm thinking sailor who was friends with Xuan and Ling when younger and also has to go away but stayed in contact with Tang Xuan

You put down Octupus!Merman!Tang Xuan, solid as octopus are know for their flexibility and adaptability, but I raise you WingedFish!merman!Tang Xuan, specifically Four Winged Flying Fish. Fast, sleek, [small,] and can perform decent feats of acrobatics when it launches itself out if the water and into the air. They use their ability to speed boost to outmanoeuvre predators, so they're agile too!

Lewis would be a legend, spread in multiple small towns and isolated villages, as a pirate who shows no mercy to other ships that cross his territory, his wrath setting ships ablaze with a terrifying plume of fire that the townsfolk can see clearly from the comforts of their beach. The screams of these tortured sailors travel with the wind from their emblazed ship, providing easy fodder to scare unruly children into doing their chores and listening to their elders.

In reality, Lewis is in a petty sibling cat-and-mousrle game with Bonnie, Lewis actually being part of the Western King's admiral fleet and trying to catch up to his Pirate!Sister before the Royal Navals find her. She smuggles herself onto pirate ships, in the hopes of joining a crew and going on bloody adventures, but since she's a bit too... Excitable... And aggressive... And bloodthirsty... The Royal Naval fleet always gets involved, and Lewis is almost always there to at least rangle her off the ship. He is fine with his sister's dreams, he just wishes they were a tad less violent so he didn't have to lose sleep over her potentially getting caught and sent to the gallows.

With that being said, Bonnie is a bit of a legend herself, among the pirates, as her figure holding a crude, hodge podge farming scythe in one hand and a ball of fire (actually a lit flask) in the other, is the omen before their ship explodes and they're left to die a slow death. She appears out of nowhere and vanishes just as abruptly too.

Then everything you said is happening between our two boys, with the added spice that Li Ling goes off to find his friend, with the idea to find this Legend and join his crew, so that there will be no rules stopping them and no eyes and ears reporting back to his family. Of course, he hops on his Best Friend's™ ship, Lewis, not realising that this man is the Legend and Lewis can only keep a poker face and act like this Fire Fist legend is someone he's met rather than himself.

[r0semultiverse]

I think there should be a hacker group dedicated to making games more optimized

Like make TF2 run on 2 GB of RAM as god intended.

[rileyslibrary]

Synopsis: A new lieutenant comes to your base—a hot one. Ghost isn’t happy.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,334

Notes:

I haven’t thought of a title, so I’m replacing it with a picture of Ghost’s expression that perfectly captures the fic’s concept. Let me know if you think of one.

Platonic fluff, duh.

Warning: Lots of swearing ahead of you, British slang as well. Told you, he’s not happy.

UPDATE: there’s a Part 2 now. Things get messy.

Want more?

———————————————————————

The rumour mill went into overdrive as soon as the ‘new guy’ arrived at the military base that morning. A former special ops legend with impressive credentials; what’s not to love?

But it wasn’t just his military skills that had everyone talking; it was also his appearance. Rumours of his Adonis-like looks had spread throughout the base, and everyone was dying to catch a glimpse of him. Even the mess hall was dominated by talk of his stunning looks.

What did you think of him? Well, you prefer to take such things with a grain of salt and not put too much stock in them. After all, beauty is a matter of personal preference, and no single definition applies to everyone. So you wanted to evaluate things for yourself.

Okay, fine. Yes, the rumours were true—the guy is exactly as they described him.

The new lieutenant stands tall and proud in front of the line you’ve all formed, his wavy hair coiffed into a deep side part with a thick fringe swooping over one eye. His chiselled jawline is accentuated by a short, perfectly groomed beard, and he gives everyone a brilliant smile as if he’s auditioning for a toothpaste commercial. His voice is booming and almost comically enthusiastic as if he were trying to engage a class of children. He gives orders by pointing at soldiers with gun fingers and winking, causing some of you to stifle giggles.

“All right, soldiers, pay attention!” he says, clapping his hands like a cheerleader. “Today’s tasks are routine: cleaning, organizing, equipment repair, and inventory taking. And, hey, if we pull this off, I’ll buy everyone a round at the local pub! How does that sound?”

Some of the soldiers exchange skeptical glances, wondering if this guy is for real.

But Ghost? Oh. My. God.

Ghost’s agitation becomes too hard to hide as the new lieutenant speaks. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, moving frantically as if eager to be anywhere but here. His eyes keep rolling back as though they’re searching for some leftover patience in the depths of his skull. You keep staring at his crossed arms. They’re so stiff that his muscles must ache from the effort. It’s as if he’s trying to keep them in place, so he doesn’t unleash them and back-slap the hot lieutenant’s pretty face. That, or he’ll let out a primal scream any second now.

“Y/N,” he turns to face you, and you stand at attention, “you’re on border patrol with me today-”

“Y/N is staying with me at the office today,” Ghost opposes him. “There’s a lot of paperwork that needs to be done.”

“Can’t you get someone else to fill out the paperwork?” the man asks, shooting Ghost a wink and a grin.

“Can’t you get someone else to help you with border patrol?” Ghost winks back at him and turns to face you. “Y/N, on your feet, c’mon,” he says, walking towards the building.

You exchange glances with the new lieutenant and shrug. This is too awkward.

“WHENEVER YOU’RE READY, SOLDIER,” Ghost commands, and you dash towards him, brushing past the new lieutenant, who also happens to smell amazing. Of course, he does.

“What the fuck is wrong with you today, Lt.?” You whisper as you run behind him, “where’s the camaraderie we discussed during yesterday’s briefing?”

Ghost shoots you a glare over his shoulder. “Just trying to keep my paperwork safe,” he mutters.

“What’ll happen to the damn paperw-” you proceed to ask, but then evaluate his words; you’re the paperwork.

At the office…

He’s reticent as he sits on his desk—not like he’s a social butterfly any other day, but today, he seems angry. Almost hostile. His eyebrows are tied together, his restless leg syndrome is back, and he takes too many cigarette breaks compared to what you’re used to. He answers your questions with one-word statements when—and if—he acknowledges your presence. Yesses and nos are all you’ve been getting since you entered the office, with the occasional “tsk” he might utter while he looks at his papers.

“Pass me the stapler.” He commands.

“Magic word, Ghost.”

“Pass me the fucking stapler, please.”

You slide the stapler over to his desk. “You’re rude today, Mr Riley.” You comment, turning your focus back to the laptop’s screen.

He doesn’t reply in the form of words. Instead, his feelings manifest themselves by aggressively stapling the papers together.

“Perhaps you’d like me to ask for the stapler by winking at you?” He finally mutters under his breath.

“Like the guy that came in today?” You scoff.

Oh, you have his full, undivided attention now. He turns his chair towards you and leans his weight on his thighs as if you’re about to tell the most exciting story.

“What do you think of him?” He asks.

You flick your wrist dismissively. “I don’t know him well enough to form an opinion. I prefer to reserve judgment until I get to know someone.” You give him a pointed look, hoping to convey your message without having to spell it out for him.

“He’s a fucking bellend, I’ll tell you that much.” He mumbles in response. Guess the message got lost in transit.

“Come on, man!” You shout and punch your fist on the table, “it’s obvious that he’s got you rattled.”

“He’s not rattling me!” Ghost protests, but his defensive tone betrays him.

“Sure, he’s not,” you reply sarcastically, “that’s why you’ve been chain-smoking and stapling papers like you’re trying to murder them.”

Ghost lets out a deep sigh and rubs his temples.

“Is it his looks?” you ask.

“No, it’s not his looks,” Ghost rolls his eyes, “I’m much better looking than him, that’s for sure.”

“Are you...I don’t know, intimidated, maybe?” You shrug, “because you’re worried he might take your place as the top dog around here?”

He looks at you incredulously. “What are you talking about? I’m not worried about that.”

“Sure, you’re not,” you smirk. “That’s why you’ve been acting like a total jerk all day.”

He looks up and sighs. The poor man looks like he desperately needs an ego boost. Beneath Ghost’s tough facade there’s Simon, after all. And Simon is a human being with the same insecurities and worries as everyone else.

“In any case,” you say, trying to comfort him, “nobody takes such douchebags seriously in the army. And I get it; the guy’s trying to make a good impression and all, but, my God, he needs to chill with all the...” you start winking and pointing gun fingers left and right.

He’s so happy he lets out a sharp chuckle. “He’s a fucking nobhead, isn’t he?” He asks, “trying to take charge and acting like he knows everything.”

“Indeed,” you reassure him, “and that cologne, I almost fainted as I passed him; how could you stand beside him for so long?”

“Don’t ask.” He shakes his head.

You reach over and give his arm a squeeze. “Don’t worry about it, Ghost. You’re the most respected operator here,” you say, giving him a small smile, “just do me a favour and give the guy a chance; he has so much to learn from you.”

He nods. “I wanted to neck slap him so hard,” he mumbles, “knock his pretty white teeth out.”

“Which are fake, by the way.”

“Are they?” He asks, shocked.

“100%.” You reply with conviction as if you are the guy’s dentist.

“I knew it.” He yells, slaps his hand on his thigh, and turns his chair back to his desk.

You look at him from the corner of your eye. He seems much more relaxed now. Hopefully, he takes your advice to heart and proceeds with the same resilience and leadership he does on the battlefield. Or, maybe, you temporarily diffused a potential conflict, and the captain will have to get involved pretty soon. Who knows. At least he feels confident in himself now, and the guy’s teeth will live to see another day.

———————————————————————

Part 2 ->

[mynnthia]

compiling my headcanons for what video games dungeon meshi characters would like, if they were gamers in modern day

some taken from this post and my reblog additions there. added more characters, with some suggestions by friends/mutuals (marked by *asterisk ).

this can also be a games recommendation list based on your fav/most relatable characters too, if you want

characters that are not are included are bc i dont have ideas for them. if i only list the genre name but not any specific titles, its bc im not familiar enough with the character/genre to pick a specific game.

this list is, of course, biased towards games im more familiar with. feel free to ask me to elaborate on my choices or make suggestions in the comments

Laios' party:

Laios: plays lots of Monster Hunter. loves Spore but he doesnt often play past the tribal stage. likes Pokemon but he's more focused on catching the pokemon than following the story. played WolfQuest and DragonFable back in the day. enjoyed the concept of Bugsnax but wasn't interested in dealing with the NPCs

Marcille: mainly Dwarf Fortress, RTS games, some colony sims. but also sometimes The Sims, and dollmaker dress-up games. i could see her also enjoying Rollercoaster Tycoon and making elaborately-themed parks. might also occasionally indulge in some visual novels if she's in the mood for narrative she has Stardew Valley so she can have something to play co-op with falin, but its not a game she plays a lot of otherwise. when playing with falin, marcille micromanages the farm to maximize productivity, and does the decorations

Chilchuck: puzzle games and hidden object/escape room games as a video game-equivalent to finding/dismantling traps and lockpicking. i think he'd also enjoy Bejeweled.

Senshi: mainly Wii games and Cooking Mama. occasionally plays Snake on his 15-year-old nokia phone. i dont think he would enjoy games like Overcooked or restaurant manager games, because he likes to take his time making food, not stressing about customer service

Falin: some *Legend of Zelda games – she likes the exploration aspect in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, maybe also some of the toon zelda games like Minish Cap or Wind Waker she also plays Pokemon (*Pokemon Go when she's traveling), and i think she would enjoy some indie games, like Penko Park or Chicory: A Colorful Tale. plays Stardew Valley co-op with marcille – falin mainly takes care of the animals, mining, and picking the crops. occasionally makes improvement suggestions that marcille didnt think of

Izutsumi: i could see her enjoying games with parkour mechanics, like *Assassin's Creed, or Mirror's Edge. or maybe something simple but requiring cat-like swipes, like Fruit Ninja. despite her impatience, i think she could also enjoy action games with interesting longer narratives, as evidenced by [this omake] (relevant portion pictured below), so maybe *Final Fantasy 7 – my friend who's familiar with the game said "she’d find Cloud and Vincent relatable"

[ID: a dungeon meshi omake, where laios' party watches a nightmare monster manifest marcille's dream. there are snippets of dramatic soap opera-like dialogue. the rest of the party are initially enthusiastic but get bored over time, meanwhile izutsumi remains enthralled]

Kabru's party

Kabru: definitely Crusader Kings. maybe also some rpgs with relationship/faction mechanics, such as *Fire Emblem (one of the older ones or FE:3H) or Fallout: New Vegas (hes maxing out the speech stat asap) i think he would also enjoy mystery games like Pentiment and Return of the Obra Dinn – he would love the process of getting familiar with the many characters and deducing "who did what" in both games.

Rin: she takes pride in being an indie gamer (translating her disdain for upper class magic academy mages -> disdain for AAA games). given her chain-lightning magic in canon, i think she'd enjoy games with AOE-type magic, so maybe games such as Vampire Survivors. my mutual also suggested she might enjoy indie mystery visual novels like *Paranormasight, and that her AAA guilty-pleasure would be *Final Fantasy 14 – that rin is "a hardcore ff14 raider. would join PUGs and shot-call every week. #holm and diya might also play ff14 casually with rin but holm would be fishing mainly"

Mickbell: mainly Bethesda games like Fallout and Skyrim– enjoys the bootstrapper power fantasy in them. the type to go out of his way to pick up all the loot he can, to later sell

Kuro: enjoys the same games as Mickbell, but for the open-world exploration and investigation factors

Toshiro and Tansu's party:

Namari: her interest in fighting and weapons could translate to brawler/fighting games and action games with a focus on weapon stats – so maybe *Street Fighter, *God of War, and/or *Dark Souls. might play *Monster Hunter with laios but for the weapons. i could also see her occasionally enjoying truck simulators

Toshiro (Shuro): has the perseverance for soulslikes and other high-difficulty action and/or metroidvania games, but would take his time overthinking item/weapon synergies sometimes. given [his fondness for bugs], i could also see him enjoying Hollow Knight

Tade: would enjoy the cute aesthetics and lighthearted gameplay of Animal Crossing and Katamari. would also like idol anime rhythm games

Kiki: i think she would enjoy horror games such as Resident Evil, but would play it while super chill. i dont have much reasoning for this aside from vibes

Canaries:

Mithrun: plays Doom. got into Hollow Knight but still hasn't finished it because he keeps getting lost. senshi introduces him to Cooking Mama later on, which he finds surprisingly therapeutic

Cithis: plays Hitman and enjoys staging elaborate accident kills. i think she'd also enjoy The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, with her background as a devious fortune-teller

Fleki: surreal indie games like Hylics. also plays Team Fortress 2, and is a scout main. occasionally joins lycion in Animal Jam

Lycion: active WolfQuest and Animal Jam player. occasionally joins fleki in tf2

Pattadol: plays Stardew Valley – shes comparatively a normie, but on the meticulous side. she would enjoy perfecting her in-game farm

Otta: plays Genshin Impact. the serious reasoning is because of her (earth) elemental magic and how genshin has an elemental magic system (from my understanding. ive never played it). the joke reasoning is how some genshin players play to collect "waifus", and how otta goes through a lot of women in her dating life

Other:

Leed: runs her own guild in World of Warcraft

Winged Lion: god-games like WorldBox or Simmiland. and Darkest Dungeon (this ones mostly a joke)

Thistle: plays the original Plants VS. Zombies. also plays Minecraft and is very serious about it, but hasn't updated his game in years (translating the fact hes a 1000-year-old kid frozen in time -> playing "slightly old" games popular in the early 2010s)

[ID: tweet reply by twitter user ranchuppi – "thistle calls it lord delgal's server but he is the only mod. whole royal family is locked in spectator mode. Hell. living hell on earth."]

[catsannie]

LOVE BEYOND BARRIERS {ON PAUSE}

SYNOPSIS~ when your friends reach out saying you need to be more “social” and need to talk to more people, your friend tells you she “knows a guy” for you to get aquatinted with, what she didn’t tell you is he’s in another country and doesn’t speak the same language. will this work out?

PAIRING~ nonidol!Choi San x fem!reader

GENRE~ smau, strangers to lovers, rom-com

FEATURING~ ateez, cix(yonghee and seunghun), red velvet( wendy and yeri)

CW~ swearing, kms/kys jokes

STARTED~ 09/05/2024

STATUS~ on going

NOTE~ eeeeee im so excited to start this, i had put up a post awhile ago stating i wanted to make a smau where a member and the reader fall in love despite the language barrier, and i have tweaked it a bit to fit my thoughts on how to play it out, hopefully you all enjoy!

also! if you’re interested in this smau please send a dm or ask to be added to the tag list!

PROFILES AND CHAPTERS

TOM NOOKS OPS | ALL 🦴 NO 🍑

001. i’m social okay!

002. my ass cheeks trembled

003. bro i don’t even speak korean!

004. do you think she likes league of legends?

005. only knows animal crossing…

006.i’m just embarrassed {written}

007.so what now?

008.facetime? i’m scared {partially written}

009.do i fly her out here?

010.how are you even going to talk to her san?

011.i think im just gonna go for it

012.first meeting irl, trembling fr

013.i can see a future with you

0.14. take on the world

0.15. two years later{written} the end

TAG LIST~

@tiddygang2020 @1lovejinki @astrid-potato @potatos-on-clouds @staytinyluv

[pickle-juice-enjoyer]

Oh--oh OhhhhOhhh--

the self-indulgence was too strong i dumped them all on these husbands

[scesketch]

My concept for a cozy Legend of Zelda game (details below)

I love Zelda games so so much, from Twilight Princess to Breath of the Wild, but here’s the thing: they always end before I can properly enjoy the comforts of Hyrule! I want to farm pumpkins and build a house and do side quests while not having to fight off bokoblins every thirty seconds. (I am bad at the fight things…)

So I propose a Zelda cozy game! Set after a traditional Ganon fight or apocalypse or what have you, this Link and Zelda actually get to live in a peaceful Hyrule. You still play as Link (or perhaps in a co op mode you could play Link and Zelda) but you get to build your home, farm crops and sell them, do fun side quests, and explore to your heart’s content. And maybe—just maybe—you can pet the dogs. Maybe even adopt some. 👀

And who knows? Maybe there’s companions who helped you in the battle who would love a visit from their friend. Or perhaps Zelda has work to do rebuilding and reconnecting the people of Hyrule, and Link is needed as her protector. There’s plenty of story available and plenty of good character relationships to build. But in between those beats, you can go home to your cottage, make a pot of pumpkin soup, and curl up in bed with your puppy. Sounds ideal, right?

Anyway, I’m just a little mad we don’t get to hang out in post-Calamity Hyrule in Breath of the Wild… So I came up with this to compensate. Thoughts?

[physics-of-one-piece]

Oh gosh thank you for the tag physics, I'll make a post about my wips too, all art of course, but before I do that I need to know more aboit this one:

"I’ll build castles for you, my love (look at me, not my brother)"

All of the wips sound lovely, can't wait for them🫶

Aaaaa, @skullfacedlady I can't wait to see what you're working on! 💕🫶🏻❤️

Oh, "I'll build castles for you, my love (look at me not my brother)"

(sighs wistfully)

This is my baby. The original. The LEGEND. The one that started it all with the Rosinante's Wife!Reader trope. Where to even start with this one? First, I'd like to link all the posts I've made up until now about this fic, it includes scenes, as well, if you want to read them.

Snippets of Doflamingo x Reader in the fic ie first ever post of the fic, the og, the LEGEND

Things Doflamingo does & says in "I’ll build castles for you, my love"

Things Rosinante does/says in the fic + Rosinante’s thoughts before he dies scene snippet

Rosinante’s Crew (Crow Corps), scenes with them + scene of Doflamingo interacting with them after Rosi’s death

More scenes from the fic, including Rosinante x Reader Scene, Rosinante & Law Scene, Doflamingo x Reader Scene

Another Doflamingo x Reader scene from the fic

How Doffy shows acts of care for Reader by providing financially for her in the fic (though this is overall for his character)

Now, let's start on explaining some more about it. The title is inspired by that thought I had when I looked at these two Donquixotes side-by-side. Like. Reaaally looked. They look very similar to each other. Their faces are nearly exactly the same at FIRST GLANCE (they have distinctive differences but a normal person wouldn't notice that from a simple glance). Usually people would say Rosinante looks like Doflamingo, except here, you meet Rosinante first.

So to you, Doflamingo resembles Rosinante when his hair is down. It's only a second, but your eyes completely change for that split moment when you think he's Rosinante. And Doflamingo notices this - it's very easily noticeable. And it fckn... Annoys him. A lot 🤣. Bcs Doflamingo was never told "oh you look like your brother" it was Rosinante who always experienced that sentence. So it's a real punch in the gut for Doffy, including his pride. Especially as he falls in love with Reader. Reader has (understandably) preconceptions about Doflamingo. So Doflamingo needs to break that preconcepted image Reader has of him so she can truly see him. It's a new experience for him.

The fic, originally, at its first outline, was only Doflamingo x Reader. But then I wanted to flesh out the entire story and Rosinante & Law happened, and they became their own chapters, and fit into the story so well, and it was my first attempt at Rosinante x Reader and damn it pulled on my heartstrings.

The Doflamingo in this fic is the Dressrosa Takeover Doflamingo (he hasn't taken over Dressrosa yet at all when he meets Reader, he simply cuts his hair short and changes his entire style after entering the Grand Line in this fic)

Why?

BECAUSE I ADORE HIM. He is HANDSOME AS HELL. WOW. JUST. WOW. And I needed to write sth with him and the idea just came. He still has a bit of his upward spikes, so when they go down they cover his forehead probably exactly like Rosinante's. And that fucks up your mind. It's an absolute mindfuck.

The story can be separated in 4 Arcs, which are for now the chapter titles.

The Marine - Chapter 1

Rosinante x Reader - it spans throughs years of Rosinante's life in the marines + meeting Reader & getting married, ends with him going on the Donquixote Pirates Mission

The Sick Boy - Chapter 2

There are 3 weeks of emptiness between when Doflamingo tells Rosinante about the Op-Op Fruit and Minion Island. These three weeks are all in Chapter 2, where Rosinante takes Law to you so you two can care for him and keep him alive. It focuses on Law, Rosinante's death (the only Minion Island scene for now), and Law's journey back to you to tell you the truth of what happened - with a polar bear and two boys sneaking into the submarine with him on the way 🤣. It ends with Rosinante's funeral and Law officially forming the Heart Pirates. ❤️‍🔥

The Warlord - Chapter 3

Doflamingo x Reader - This one is finally very much Reader's POV focused, with a bit of Doflamingo's POV as well. This part covers the next nine months of Reader's pregnancy, and Doflamingo's visits to Marineford during the weekends. There are so many things here — fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, domestic life, humor, Doflamingo singing while he cooks in a pink apron with a flamingo drawn on it with "Kiss the flamingo 🦩"... Doflamingo knocking on your window drenched like a pink cat and stripping naked while your back is turned, Doflamingo being an absolute demon you should not mess with (but you do) but also a soft three meter meow meow 🥺. Also the best support during pregnancy. Seriously. He's great at that part. Also. Doflamingo's charming smiles. Doflamingo's puppy eyes. Doflamingo's. Fucking. Puppy eyes. Damn him (I say lovingly)

The King - Chapter 4

Doflamingo x Reader - Follows post-childbirth after Reader & Rosinante's child is born, and the next two years of Doflamingo & Reader raising the child and eventually the fall of Dressrosa and Doflamingo becoming its king... I can't say too much for this one cus I don't want to spoil it too much, but... It's good. So good. And is the last chapter of the story with a Happy Ending for Doflamingo x Reader. Also, 100% will try to write some smut for this chap, bcs I neeeed it at this point. 😩

Here is the summary I made for Doflamingo's Part ie The Warlord Part when I first thought this would just be a one-shot (ha, fool!)

Summary: To Donquixote Doflamingo, family is everything. A month after Rosinante’s death, Vergo delivers him damning information after he’d ordered a full deep dive into Rosinante’s fourteen years of absence — his brother had gotten married years ago. And not only that, his brother’s wife is pregnant. Doflamingo does something both impertinent and bold, just as any pirate — he enters the Grand Line with one goal — become a warlord, meet you, and be there for you during your pregnancy. He makes history, stealing and robbing Heavenly Tributes almost every few days, conquering the Grand Line and its underworld — and is made a warlord the next month.

As the pink flowers on the single pink cherry blossom tree in Marineford sway in the wind, so do the pink feathers of Doflamingo’s coat as he steps foot on Marineford a few days later to attend a meeting with the higher-ups — and meet you.

You don't need the curse of his protection or his blood money, or want him in your child’s life — your husband would roll in his grave. However, as a former Celestial Dragon and now a warlord, Doflamingo gains permission to visit you on weekends in Marineford, and not even Fleet Admiral Sengoku can do anything about him as the orders come from "up high". The newly appointed warlord is just as your husband described him as - stubborn, sadistic, enjoys mocking people, laughs at their suffering, and a manipulating schemer. As the warlord forces you to spend more time with him, you realise there is more to the older Donquixote than your late husband told you.

I'm trying to figure out which scene to send...

How about... The first meeting?

Excerpt:

You were about to tell Tsuru they brought the wrong pirate to meet you, but then, your gaze reached his face. You inhaled sharply, the thought coming before you could stop it because of the eerie similarity of the chin and cheeks, and for a split second you thought it was…

Rosinante.

But his skin was tanned, a bronze colour. And his smile... It was all wrong.

That wasn’t your husband’s smile. It was too sharp, too wide, too wicked.

Doflamingo was taller than Rosinante, but gangly and long-limbed like him. He was bigger than on his wanted poster. His hair was no longer long and uplifted like a dragon’s head, but instead the spikes were shortened, sticking upward.

Your heart picked up its beat, dread spreading in your stomach.

Evil emanated from every fibre of his being.

“There you are.” said Doflamingo victoriously, smiling all the way.

***

For what song would fit the fic... (Giggles evilly)

This one, Doffy is thinking this one 24/7

I don’t want to let your body go 🎶

Be my queen, I'll be your king 🎶

We'll be rulers I'll give you everything 🎶

I'll be your king, you'll be my queen 🎶

Unbelievers get down on your knees 🎶

We can rule the world 🎶

So be my girl 🎶

Thank you for the ask! Can't wait to see what you're working on! ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist: @fanaticsnail @queenmimi2817 @daydreamer-in-training

[dangermousie]

Hey dangermousie some time when you're feeling up for an ask: what are your favorite webnovels? Like danmei, bg, general fiction, anything. You've shared so many intetesting sounding novels in other posts so I was curious what some of the top favorites are? I remember Sha Po Lang, Ever Night, and The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (which I'm reading because of you ToT)

I love this ask! I am gonna limit myself to 35 novels or we will be here all night. The usual caveat is - this is very personal. You will see that out of 35 (well, 36) novels, there is only one modern, there is a lot of angst and things like noncon and unhealthy relationships don't bother me. But I dislike harem infights and protags who are too OP.

35 I Became the Older Brother of the Heroine in an Abusive Novel by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - a lovely novel where one half of otp is healthy and wholesome and the other abused feral wreck who melts under sanity and care.

34 After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine by Liu Gou Hua (danmei) - our MC is a modern person who transmigrates into a historical bad guy who apparently married a captured and crippled general who eventually healed, escaped and committed a lot of murder to avenge his humiliation. Poor historian MC transmigrates right before the wedding and is desperate to avoid the fate of having his head hang on the city gates for three years in the near future. Good luck! This has such a wholesome (yet not boring) OTP. Proof that healthy doesn't have to be dull.

33 You've Got Mail by He Dan Bai (danmei) - the sex in this one is gonzo and biologically questionable but the love story is wistful and sweet and somehow both hilarious and involving two rather damaged people.

32 The Blue Whisper by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the novel is a bona fide angst masterpiece, which really delves into what it feels like to be imprisoned or to love and what makes you you. I sniffled throughout.

31 The Paranoid Emperor’s Black Moonlight Shizun by Chen Sensen (danmei) - a really screwed up disciple and a really decent master have some insane entanglements. To say more would be to spoil but if you want some intensity, angst, groveling and utter codependency and did I mention ANGST? this one is for you!

30 Demon King's Repayment by Gong Xinwen (het) - another delicious Gong Xinwen tale with a powerful ML dedicated to capable FL. This one is a great fantasy plot (I keep imagining it as an animated series) and a sprawling cast of amazing secondaries (and secondary OTPs - there is, I swear, an OTP that is Dong Hua x Feng Jiu done thru GXW lens) to boot.

29 Accompanying the Phoenix by Jiu Lu Fei Xiang (het) - the one that just got adapted into The Legend of Shen Li, this is high adventure and cottage core and funny and tragic and powerful ML being putty in the hands of capable FL and just EVERYTHING.

28 The Counterattack of the Cannon Fodder Chambermaid by Jia Mian De Sheng Yan (het) - I remember starting this and loving the realistic feel and the heroine and wanting to stab the hero. Yet the end I was on board with both the hero (who was abused and is rather autistic-coded) and the OTP. Anyway, heroine is a servant who was a concubine in the last life and got killed as part of a rich family’s harem intrigues. In this life, she just wants to keep her head down but her life gets derailed anyway. She gets sold away and eventually made a servant in the household of an exiled prince who takes a fancy to her and she endures it because what choice does she have? All she wanted was to serve out her term and become a small time merchant. This is quite realistic about lack of options for women, especially lower class women or upper class male attitudes (ML is never vicious or mean to FL but it does not initially occur to him to wonder if she fancies him or enjoys being his concubine or w/e.) It is a DELIGHTFUL slow burn tho as they grow to love each other and grow together and become one of the most wholesome cnovel couples out there.

27 The Black Moonlight Holds the BE Script by Teng Luo Wei Zhi (het) - so fucked up, so good, with monster hero who learns to love and be human and heroine who learns to love and be human (but from the other side, her tower of perfection), with a complex plot and no easy outs.

26 The Grand Princess by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a husband and wife who really drifted apart and ended up killing each other (or did they?) get a second chance as they are reborn as their younger selves. This has a great plot, a competent set of protags, and slow burn with complexity and trauma and somehow yet lightness. Plus awesome secondary OTPs!

25 Copper Coins by Mu Su Li (danmei) - a monk and a dragon? More likely than you may think. This is smart and wistful and made me cry; the romance doesn't kick in for the longest time and it doesn't even matter.

24 The Golden Terrace by Cang Wu Bin Bai (danmei) - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

23 Long Wind Crossing (Destined) by Mo Shu Bai (het) - two functional lovely people fighting the world and growing up together and forming an amazing marriage.

22 Mistakenly Saving the Villain by Feng Yu Nie (danmei) - so underrated. A perfect h/c fantasy with the most functional MC and fucked up ML that never puts even a toe wrong with a premise that could go seriously bad so many different ways, instead telling a funny, moving story of love helping you heal.

21 I'll Be the Male Lead's Sister in Law by September Flowing Fire (het) - one of my all time favorite novels. Heroine is made to marry a disabled nephew of the emperor. He used to be a victorious god of war but went mad and now is basically locked away and kept as a beast. GOD I LOVE THIS NOVEL SO MUCHHHHH! So much hurt/comfort and awesome OTP and after he eventually recovers, all he wants to do is to fight and murder things and dote on wifey. MMM. He’s honestly one of my fave MLs.

20 The Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Sha Cha Ke (het) - not a typical QSCK at all, this one has a heroine who wakes up after being killed by her awful family; in her past life she was a general whose glory went to her cousin but here she chooses to start anew. Revenge is secondary to her - forming a new life and healing are really the focus. Also the OTP (FL and a male general with his own tragedy, and her former schoolmate) is just EVERYTHING!

19 Nan Chan by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - it reads like poetry crossed with a nightmare. One of the most unusual novels I've read and with the most alien set of protagonists I've ever read and believably so (a personification of a sword and a cannibalistic fish), I can't even describe this in any way other than a deity-centric paean to atheism.

18 The Rest of My Life by Mo Shu Bai (het) - the sole modern on this list, this is a novella about an aftermath of a regular office worker with a regular life and a regular husband being raped. It's a hard hard read but it's amazing.

17 To Rule In a Turbulent World by Fei Tian Ye Xiang (danmei) - gay Minglan is my elevator pitch. Well that or "what happens if you stick cottagecore and crucifixion in one novel."

It’s a BL novel but honestly, it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period setting per se. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating (I never thought I’d find daily farming things interesting but here I am.) Farming, politics and the sudden horrors of war all intermingle perfectly.

Our protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant, sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he buys a sex slave on a whim from his friend (OK, wait wait wait don’t go, why are you bailing :P) Basically You Miao sees his friend’s servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. Let's back up - You Miao - our protag. He is the main reason I love the novel. It’s hard to write a character who is wealthy, kinda spoiled, sometimes immature and still make him eminently likeable. You Miao is also smart, pragmatic, funny, surprisingly laid back, a people person, and with a stubborn streak a mile wide. He is not perfect in any way but he is a real living breathing person I came to love.

Anyway, the ostensible sex slave he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers and lets him go (not before they have some pretty explicit sex because hey - You Miao is all ‘why not, might be fun to try’ and LZF is “dude saved my life, why not.’ One of the things I love about the story is that there is no instalove - both sex and love make sense in the way and the order they happen; the two bang on a semi regular basis long before their feelings fully develop into love, which is pretty gradual and realistic.) However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely likes him. One of the pleasures of the novel is watching LZF slowly transform from a piece of wood automaton into a genuine person who allows himself joy or temper.

So meticulously written, so smart, so vivid, such a cast of secondary characters (that friend who was beating LZF to death ended up being one of my favorite, most tragic characters in the novel because the author gets people are complex.)

16 The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System by MXTX (danmei) - a pastiche parody of web novels that somehow is both witty and makes me genuinely feel desperately for the protags. Go read!

15 Dandere General and His Lord by Gong Xinwen (het) - God, I love this one. Heroine transmigrates from modern world into a brutal slave-holding world at war (think something like Warring States era.) Our heroine transmigrates into the body of a noblewoman who just hung herself. When she comes to, she discovers that woman’s twin brother was the ruler of a city poisoned by a rival claimant and the besieging army of said claimant is about to take the city and original occupant of the body and the rest of the family chose suicide as a way to avoid dishonor. Our heroine refuses, schemes with advisors to pass as the brother and rally the troops. Once the invaders are defeated, she keeps on the masquerade and rides off to one of the never-ending wars “she” is summoned to. Our hero couldn’t be farther from this. A slave and a son of a slave, he’s escaped a horrific, starving childhood during which he narrowly avoided being murdered or raped, and ended up in the army. When the story opens, he distinguished himself in battle and as a reward, he and a few of his fellow slave warriors are invited to a banquet, where they are given some alcohol and to be playthings of any nobles who want them. One of them does not survive this but ML is lucky - heroine feels terrible and so “claims” him for herself. Instead she just tends to his wounds and sends him back. She does not fancy him or anything, she is just a human being with a conscience. And the story goes from there.

14 The Marquis Is Innocent by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is the set up of very beautiful yet utterly cold-hearted woman marrying a ruthless, powerful man who eventually ends up on top of the murder pyramid. And a relationship that starts as a political arrangement with the husband not caring for her but then the ruthless scheming murder machine falls hard for her while FL actually does not, not yet. It takes a long time. This is such a glorious slow burn (I think by now you realized I love slow burns) and it takes her a very long time to open up or for him to realize that is what he wants (he's a very believable period man who finds it hard to admit he can actually have his happiness based on a woman) and there are steps forward and back and it's glorious, glorious!

13 Thousand Miles of Bright Moonlight by 罗青梅 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het) - one of my ultimate favorites, this would make such an epic drama! A smart as hell but cautious and wounded heroine, a hero who is a monk and a warrior but also terribly ill and such a vivid world and amazing secondary characters (heroine’s brother is possibly my favorite supporting character of all time) and so much angst and happy ending. Both the protags are such intense, good people longing for happiness but not daring for it. This has an amazing romance but it’s not romance-centric if it makes sense - ML doesn’t appear for a while. But once he does, it’s worth it!

12 Mountain and River Pillow by Mo Shu Bai (het) - a tender intense and tragic slowburn which shows the limits of knowing what will happen and the fight to reestablish the family with an amazing amazing OTP. Heroine transmigrated into her past self; this time she chooses to go through with her arranged marriage instead of running away for love (it ended badly) but her knowledge fails to prevent her new sweet husband and his whole family murdered in battle and framed for treason. All that is, except for her husband's youngest brother, barely adult and left with an almost impossible task. In the past life he managed but it hollowed him out. In this one he has a sister in law to assist so...Anyway, both the protags are smart, good, intense and amazing people and I love them separately and as an OTP. By far my favorite MSB novel.

11 Those Years In Quest of Honour Mine by Man Man He Qi Duo (danmei) - another really underrated gem, it’s funny and heart-breaking and made me laugh and sniffle within pages of each other. Its two protagonists are both walking wounded but also good people, and watching them find happiness despite all the horrors the world threw at them, watching them take care of each other is so lovely. Also, someone once described the ML as “Lan Wangji gone feral” and that is just A++++

10 The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by MXTX (danmei) - we all know that one is there even any point describing it.

9 Nightfall/Ever Night by Mao Ni (not romance centric but het) - so long but also so smart and unusual and bloody and tho it’s not primarily a romance, you will never see another ML who loves his FL as much as Ning Que does his Sang Sang. And the worldbuilding and the plot and the characters and just so so bleak.

8 Wu Chang Jie by Shui Qian Cheng (danmei) - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet. In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever. And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on. If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in. There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify. Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

7 Stars of Chaos (Sha Po Lang) by Priest (danmei) - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

6 Heaven Official's Blessing by by MXTX (danmei) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

5 (tie) The Emperor’s Beloved Ugly Girl by 一味相思 (haven't seen it transliterated) (het)- Our heroine is the unlucky laundry maid A’Chou. She is a di daughter of an upperclass family but her family got destroyed in one of the political upheavals of the time and A’Chou, only a small child at the time, was the only survivor and was made an enslaved laundry maid. Due to various events, at the start of the novel she is a laundry maid in a minister’s household and the minister’s beloved daughter is having a fit because she’s supposed to marry the former Crown Prince which may have been great a few years back but Crown Prince had since been deposed, tortured, imprisoned and now is living in the middle of nowhere under conditions that are too meager to be called house arrest. And he’s seriously crippled too. Understandably, the young lady doesn’t want to marry him! She’d rather kill herself and so she does. And so, a desperate plan is hatched - why don’t we pretend the laundry maid is the di daughter of the minister’s household and send her off? And so A’Chu is sent as the bride. She arrives to discover a broke, seriously injured man on the verge of death…and we go from there. This is so gorgeous and tender and slow in just the right way and like AAAAAA! Secondary OTPs (one of which is MM) are also epic.

5 Wishing You Eternal Happiness by Peng Lai Ke (het) - this is almost tied with Dreamer as my favorite het web novel ever though it couldn’t be more different from Dreamer, with its hard-edged and hard-souled protagonists ruthlessly cleaving their way to the world and, eventually, each other, its smart cynical air. Except in one thing - the world of Wishing is just as bloody and dark. Its two protagonists are gentle, deeply wounded souls who may find salvation in each other but even something as basic as safety almost seems out of reach. Jliafu, our heroine, is neither a modern-day transmigrator, nor some exotic princess or demoness. She is very much a period woman of her time, from a weathy merchant clan, whose beauty is her curse. You can tell the novel’s tone from that utterly bleak opening chapter where she, a favorite concubine of a capricious dying emperor, is ordered to be buried alive with him and is not even given the “grace” of white silk but slowly suffocates in the coffin, scrabbling at the lid. There is no grand threats of vengeance on her part, not dramatic opera events. Just despair and death. The whole introductory chapter is haunted by emotional ghosts - the empress’ unrequited love for the monster on the imperial bed (turning into desire for Jiafu’s suffering after he dies), the emperor slowly dying in his prime after waging too many wars, and his fear of being haunted by Pei Youan, a brilliant if sickly minister who died of illness long ago on one of imperial campaigns. There is no triumph for anyone, only loss.

When she wakes up as still a young woman, all she wants is to escape the same fate. There are no plans for power or revenge, only a desire for survival. And so she latches on asking for help from Pei Youan, the only man in her past go-around who showed any consideration and desire and ability to protect her, though he barely knew her. Pei Youan is probably my favorite het web novel ML. Despite his brains and ability, he drifts through life. In modern terms, he clearly has depression. One of the biggest, best joys of the novel is watching these two very good, very quiet, very wounded people discover happiness and love with each other. I sort of want to cry just thinking about it, tbh.

4 Ballad of Sword and Wine (Qiang Jin Jiu) by Tang Jiu Qing (danmei) - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train. In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs. Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

3 Dreamer In the Spring Boudoir by Bai Lu Cheng Shuang (het) - my n1 het novel on this list, smart and fierce and don’t really read this for romance because it does not start until really late, but ice cold heroine x ice cold hero both of equal brains and ruthlessness is everything. I went from loathing the ML to finding him fascinating to adoring him (and yet he softened around the edges only for FL, he never became “nice”) and loved FL throughout; secondaries are epic. If you read only one non-danmei web novel, make it this one.

2 Stains of Filth (Yuwu) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated. Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love. Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

1 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) by Meatbun Doesn't Eat Meat (danmei) -my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.) Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!) Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

[zip-it-sparkles]

GOING FERAL OVER THIS OHMYGOD. I LOVE PODCAST EDITS. I LOVE RHIS SO MUCH. THE TRANSITIONS ARE SO SMOOTH. THE LOOPING. THAT TRANSITIONS THEMSELVES UGH OHMYHOD EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS AMAZING

First edit of 2025 and on Tumblr! I’m so obsessed with malevolent I’m ACTUALLY going insane

Credits:

audio - sllwsongs (tiktok)

photos - @potato-lord-but-not (I hope it’s okay that I’m tagging you :P)

transition inspo - enndoux (tiktok)

edit time - 4hr 7 min

[brucebocchi]

Ranking 2024 anime, Pt. 2: #40-31

hey, this post is also available on my ko-fi, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i do this for free and am currently between jobs. you can find part 1 of the list here. thanks!

Alright, on we go to the list proper. The first post was probably whiplash-inducing, going from a bunch of shorter stuff I loved to whole seasons I hated, but we can only go up from here. I watched a lot of anime this year, as the numbers indicate, so there's a little positivity to be found even in the lower rankings.

As always, OPs are linked in the series titles. Watch them, they're almost all great.

40. Metallic Rouge

One of the biggest disappointments of the year, one which I didn’t think could be outdone (and I’ll get to that one shortly). Metallic Rouge had so much going for it as a Studio Bones original for its anniversary, and managed to fumble all of its promise and goodwill in slow, agonizing fashion. 

It’s a shame, too. Metallic Rouge still looks awesome; the character and mech designs are excellent, the space-cyberpunk aesthetic is undeniable, and the animation can be terrific when it counts. The story, on the other hand, is so completely asinine that I was sick of this show before it ended. I’ve mostly forgotten what even happens, partly because it was that infuriating to keep up with, and partly because I feel like the writers forgot too; the bulk of any actual story felt backloaded into the last two or three episodes because they focused too hard on vibes for a while. I think they were trying to go for some “G-Witch by way of Detroit: Become Human” something or other, but all of it rang hollow. I’m still not sure whether it needed more runtime or better writers. Probably both.

Not worth your time. Just watch the OP and imagine a better show than what we got.

39. Mysterious Disappearances

I’ve thought so little about this show since it went off the air that I don’t really have anything new to say. Looks pretty lousy most of the time, not that interesting, oddly horny, and the plot structure gets kind of cloying after a while.

I know I harped on that last point when I reviewed it at the end of the spring season, but something funny happened after I did. Back in July, I mentioned that I took issue with the formula of “we encounter a paranormal anomaly, it’s identified as a yokai or urban legend, we learn its tragic backstory, our protagonists give it closure, and we move on” because it felt manipulative after I realized that it happened with every arc, and then I went ahead and read DanDaDan, which basically does exactly the same thing but a hell of a lot better. Comparing a middling work like this to DanDaDan of all things feels unfair, but they cover pretty similar ground. Maybe it’s sharper writing, or maybe it’s just a more engaging work. Who’s to say?

I’d also said in my review that Mysterious Disappearances unintentionally gives off the vibe of a poorly-archived mid-2000s series, but I hadn’t realized just how right I was: It turns out that studio Zero-G just went ahead and made up its own ending even though the source material is still ongoing. Better shows did the same this year, but the studio and I seem to have the same level of faith that this anime’s ever coming back.

38. My Deer Friend Nokotan

Honestly? Fuck this show.

I’ve already gone into what I did and didn’t like about Nokotan after it went off air a few months ago and I don’t care to revisit that while it’s still relatively fresh. Not nearly as funny as it pretended to be, yet still not even confident in its own sense of humor. The OP's still a bop (calling it "Shikairo Days" was a genuinely great joke), and a small handful of gags do land, but not enough to prevent this from being a massive disappointment.  At the same time, Nokotan was still somehow not the biggest letdown of the year.

37. Uzumaki

This was the biggest letdown of the year.

When an anime adaptation of the legendary Junji Ito horror manga was first announced in 2019, it was hard not to get excited. Even when I’d mostly fallen out of anime fandom, I knew damn well who Junji Ito was and I knew Uzumaki. Adult Swim was funding the project, a prestige studio in Production I.G. was handling the animation, and they even nabbed Hereditary composer Colin Stetson for the score. Ito’s manga is famously very difficult to adapt well, and it looked like we finally had a project being taken seriously. Delays and radio silence in the ensuing years were disappointing, but I was willing to be patient if it meant everything was being handled right. When the trailer dropped this summer, it looked like it would be worth the wait.

And for one glorious episode, it seemed like everyone’s patience paid off. Uzumaki’s debut episode was one of the most visually arresting pieces of animation I’ve ever seen: The entire look and feel was faithful to Ito’s inimitable style, from the meticulously detailed linework to the stark black-and-white color grading of his manga’s pages. On top of that, the animation itself was absurdly good; the process of rotoscoping 3D motion capture seemed arduous, but the end result was beautifully lifelike for a story where that quality could only serve to instill further terror. Several of the most iconic images from the early chapters looked incredible in hi-def motion. Sure, the pacing was a little fast, but this was a four-episode miniseries. We could deal. This was just too good.

And then came the second episode.

I’m not going to over-elaborate or relitigate every single thing that went wrong here, because it’s a lot. Uzumaki was in development for a long time, and that five year gap between announcement and release included several detriments to the production process, not the least of which being COVID, animation production changing hands between several studios, and new leadership for Adult Swim’s parent company that now favors profit over product, especially when it comes to animation that doesn’t involve DC characters. Plenty of us figured that all of these delays and a run of only four episodes meant that they had the time to hammer out all the issues and give us the best possible product. That, unfortunately, was not the case.

Responding to complaints about the decline in animation in the second episode, executive producer Jason DeMarco (who, to be blunt, has overseen several mediocre-to-awful anime products released under the Adult Swim brand, including my bottom-ranked anime of 2023) claimed in a quickly-deleted Bluesky thread that there is indeed a higher-up to blame and that they were left with an ultimatum to either drop Uzumaki after just one episode, let it go the way of so many other Warner Bros non-releases under David Zaslav’s disastrous leadership, or release the whole miniseries in its half-baked state. They went with the third.

So, what we got was an uneven, often sloppy work; another mediocrity to throw on the pile of failed Junji Ito adaptations. All goodwill established in the first episode is soon undone by wonky character models, uncanny walk cycles, and movement that looks like PNGs being dragged across a background at the most inopportune times. Plenty of viewers, myself included, were willing to overlook the accelerated pacing after the first episode, but that issue was thrown into stark relief by the second when entire chapters of the manga began playing out simultaneously, and one was even reduced to an afterthought for a cheap “scare” at the end of episode three. 

Not that I thought Uzumaki necessarily needed a full 12-episode season for a proper adaptation or anything; Ito’s output can often be light on story, and dragging it out too far risks losing interest. What makes Ito’s stories actually work, though, is a proper sense of setting and space to let tensions rise. That didn’t entirely happen here; while the atmosphere of Kurozu-cho does plenty resemble what we’ve seen from Ito’s pages, and Stetson’s atonal saxophone does a lot of work to raise the level of unease, things just kind of happen. Few things really get the chance to land as intended, in part due to the production quality cheaping out at climactic moments.

This was the last anime I finished this year even though I’d watched the first two episodes after they aired and it went off the air in October. I was looking forward to the last two episodes that little. There are still bits and pieces of great animation and faithful adaptation here and there, but not enough to regain any goodwill from the second episode’s wheels visibly falling off. Maybe it’s finally time to declare Junji Ito’s works unadaptable once and for all. 

Definitely watch that first episode, though. At this point I kind of wish that’s all we’d gotten.

36. Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

Straitlaced Nice Guy moves to a new town, laid-back gyaru from his class immediately takes a liking to him, a couple other girls enter the picture, shenanigans ensue, and a slow-burn romance begins in parallel. Nothing special on paper and nothing much more special than that in execution. The setting is lovely, though, and it really made me want to visit Hokkaido one day. Nicely done, tourism board.

If you watched this and were put off by it, I don’t blame you; I probably would’ve been too if I hadn’t decided to read ahead in the manga. I will say this, though: If you liked Hokkaido Gals even a little, read the manga. It’s a minor investment, but if you can get over the halfway mark, it gets surprisingly good and has a really lovely ending. 

The anime, on the other hand? Meh. Doesn’t look super great and didn’t have enough time in 12 episodes to overcome most of the issues the source material had to move past to get to what made it worthwhile. It would take another season or two to get there, and that probably isn’t gonna happen. Great OP, though (I'm starting to repeat myself, I know). Just read the manga.

35. No Longer Allowed in Another World

Boasting one of the most audacious premises for an isekai I’ve ever seen, No Longer Allowed in Another World doesn’t shy away from the implications of an Osamu Dazai isekai, has the dark humor to match, and provides some fascinating commentary on the type of person who tends to consume wish-fulfillment isekai. Unfortunately, the presentation was a little lacking and threatened to lose my attention several times. I think the idea is much better on paper, to the point where I might test that theory and go read the manga.

34. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

The next dozen or so anime in the rankings fall into a category of either “well-made anime that I found kind of frustrating” or “middling anime that I kind of enjoyed.” The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic is very much the latter. It’s a standard isekai on paper; demon king, special powers, what have you, but it has a likable cast and laid-back vibe for much of its runtime that made it pleasant enough to watch.

As I said after the winter season, I really liked that Wrong Way spends a lot of its early story ensuring that the protagonist expends the time and effort necessary for him to become the hero he’s meant to be instead of the narrative just handing it to him from the start, which instantly sets it apart from most other wish-fulfillment isekai. It’s far from the best-looking anime I watched this year, but it has a mid-00s throwback look and feel to it that works more to its benefit than in Mysterious Disappearances. Nothing groundbreaking and a little too backloaded, but an enjoyable enough experience and one I’m looking forward to seeing come back. 

The only really upsetting thing about this show is that Atsuko Tanaka (Major Kusanagi, Bayonetta, Kainé), who was tremendous as the intimidating Captain Rose, is no longer with us. She was an exceptional talent with an iconic voice who will be sorely missed, and future seasons of this show won’t be the same without her.

33. Go! Go! Loser Ranger

Though not a bad anime by most metrics, I still consider Loser Ranger a minor disappointment. It mostly looks great, and “what if The Boys was a sentai series” is a killer premise, but the story so far is extremely frontloaded. Almost too much happens in the first four episodes, and then the bulk of the last arc of the season takes place in a goddamn parking garage. I’m still annoyed by that. Still looking forward to season 2, but I wish the debut season had been 24 episodes to avoid the sour taste in my mouth.

Did you hear that echo? Yep, that's me telling you to watch yet another OP. Easily the best part of the show and one of the best of the year. Tatsuya Kitani can't keep getting away with it.

32. Astro Note

2024 turned out to be a banner year for Rumiko Takahashi’s older works making their way back to modern screens, and one of those entries wasn’t even hers.

Astro Note is an overt homage to Takahashi’s less-famous romcom Maison Ikkoku, which ran parallel to Urusei Yatsura for most of the latter’s run. Like Ikkoku, Astro Note follows a down-on-his-luck young man living in a boarding house full of bizarre miscreants who only stays because the manager is super pretty. Unlike Ikkoku, and unbeknownst to our protagonist, said manager is actually an alien who is practically turning the house over to find a secret alien MacGuffin.

This show looks lovely and has a delightful cast and some surprisingly moving subplots, but it’s nothing too special otherwise. There are some fun creative flourishes here and there, like the alien stuff shown in flashback being made to look like an older space opera anime, but aside from a very fun turn near the end of the season, Astro Note rarely rises above the level of simply “pleasant.” And that’s fine, but it doesn’t quite live up to the material it’s aping, and what we’ve ended up with is just a nice distraction. 

I’m so glad I finally decided to read Maison Ikkoku though.

31. Shangri-La Frontier, second cour

It’s been a running joke for me that the more I watch Shangri-La Frontier, the less I’m sure whether I like it or not, and now with 25 episodes in the tank, I’m less sure than ever. The back half of the debut season improved on a few of the things that annoyed me about its first cour by focusing more on the high-quality action and introducing minor stakes to the proceedings, and then everything else surrounding it made it feel no less like I’m just watching a guy playing a goddamn video game, and the stakes still mostly seem to amount to "he wants to be good at it."

You may notice that I didn’t include the second season in this review, and that’s because I flat-out didn’t care to pick it back up. I’d been busy during the fall season and continuing a show I didn’t enjoy that much just wasn’t a high priority. It’s continuing into January, so there’s time to catch it while it airs, but I’m still not in any hurry.

[the-au-collector]

Fell into a rabbit hole of rewatching Age of Calamity cutscenes (since I don't have the game) and

this game is so needlessly dramatic

"it whaaaat" - Revali

Robbie is an icon and there needs to be more of him

the DLC memory scenes are the best cutscenes in the game

Terrako singing ballad of the goddess 😭😭😭

Baby Zelda is so cute

Terrako is OP

I love how the entire game starts all dramatic and then there's just E G G

Also the opening credits of the game imply that the tapestry is about the Calamity where BOTW Link failed??? Either that or Terrako existed at the same time as the OG Calamity which works for me!

Terrako is the main character prove me wrong

Baby Sidon is too pure for this world

I like how Zelda narrates the game. You could almost see it like she's narrating it to her kids or something and I think that's really cute

Sidon's adult voice actor is so over-the-top lolll

I love Daruk so much

"None of this makes any sense" No Daruk it does not

I love Riju's voice actor

I love how Patricia gets her own name tag too

This game varies between incredibly dark to incredibly funny/corny and I love it

Astor my beloved your laugh is terrifying

Khoga is an icon too "you're my best lackey!!!"

Mipha is so tinyyyy

Urbosa is such a mom I love her so much

Hell yeah Vah Ruta flood Hyrule Field!!!

We need more evil magicians in Legend of Zelda. They're all so iconic

Rhoam is actually pretty likeable at the end of the game ngl

Baby Sidon is so so so tinyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭

Yunobo's eyes are so funny

Tulin is a sweetheart and not even Revali can escape his cuteness

Khoga's hair is so hard he can't put the thunder helm on oh oy goddd that's hilarious 😂😂😂

Urbosa, Rhoam, and Zelda's mom had to have been a threesome

I didn't need Khoga to be such a dad but here he is... best dad for the best lackey

Astor has followers??? Like he's a cult leader??? *stores that information away for later* Well to be fair they kinda died in the only scene they were in lol

I can tell Robbie's voice actor had a blast doing this

Also this game lowkey reads like a Kingdom Hearts game lol So much random, corny goodness is here and I love it

[vanfleeter]

My Love: Chapter 2

Characters: Jake Kiszka x Sara, Josh Kiszka, Sam Kiszka, Daniel Wagner, Chris Turpin. Warnings: 18+ || Language. Gore. Mentions of murder. Vampires. Blood drinking. Angst. Anger. Frustration. Crying. Drinking. Jealousy. Smut. Sexual intentions. Cockblocking.

The book shelves only feel like they’re caving in on me as I pace around the room. The anger still boils in my veins. I look down at my hand and remember the way it looked curled around her neck. Then I remember the fear in her eyes. Shaking my hands, I walk over to the desk and slump down in the chair.

She hasn’t left the bedroom. I can hear crying–muffled mostly by a pillow, but nonetheless–crying. I did that to her, I made her cry. I’ve never made her cry and I’ve never gotten angry with her. At least, not like that.

Suddenly I hear her feet touch the floor as she walks across the room and towards the door. I lean forward, resting my elbows on the desk. She descends the stairs, walking past the study. Her heart rate is elevated, the rush of her blood making my mouth salivate. But that changes when I hear the front door open. Standing from the desk chair, I walk over to the window and watch her as she gets in her car and pulls out of the driveway.

Yanking the curtains closed, I let the anger finally consume me. Swiping my arms across the desk, I send everything flying off the top. Grabbing my keys, I run out to my car and take off.

Not after her.

I won’t chase after her.

The bass of the music beats through my body as I slip around people in the crowded hallway. Making it out and into the open space, my eyes immediately land on her. Her eyes lock with mine and a sinister smile spreads across her face as she leans against the bar counter.

“Well well well, what brings you around here, Mr. Kiszka?”

I chuckle and lean against the bar beside her. “Such formality, Kate. I thought we were friends?”

“Friends keep in contact,” She sips on her drink and moves to stand in front of me. “I haven’t heard from you in months.. So tell me, what brings you around here?” She eyes me suspiciously as she finishes off her drink. “Do you need a fix?”

“I shouldn’t..”

“What happened?” She says, cocking her head. “Does your little human not satisfy you?”

“I don’t want to talk about her..”

“Ope.. Trouble in paradise, I see..”

I sigh. “She’s angry..”

“What did you do?”

“It’s what I won’t do..” I say as I take on the now empty bar stool beside me.

“I don’t get why you won’t.. She won’t live forever and I will definitely not be there to mend your broken heart when she dies..”

“Wow, you sure do know how to cheer someone up.” I grumble while resting my chin in the palm of my hand.

Katherine Wilks. Quite an old friend of mine. We met nearly a hundred years ago. She was quite the beauty then, still is even now. Never once though have I thought of her as more than a friend, even though she used to be the one I would turn to when I needed someone to talk to or even someone I could bury myself into when I needed the relief.

Kate smiles and sets her empty glass on the counter. “She loves you, Jacob. I saw it in her eyes all that time ago when you first introduced her.”

I shake my head. “No, Kate. I won’t do it.”

“But why not? Why are you so afraid of doing this one thing?”

“She deserves better..”

“Jacob..”

“I don’t want her to be like me–like my brothers–a fucking monster..”

I turn around to fully face the bar and wave down the bartender to give him my drink. The nagging urge to want to sink my teeth into somebody is unbearable.

“You’re not a monster,” Kate groans. “Despite what the legends say, we are not monsters. We choose to be them, but we aren’t them.”

The bartender comes back with my drink and I down it all in one gulp before setting it back down on the counter top and ordering another one. He comes back with another and I grab it before turning back to face Kate.

“I could’ve killed her tonight..” I admit aloud. “All I wanted to do was squeeze her neck inside the palm of my hand until she couldn’t breathe.. I wanted to snap her neck.”

“But you didn’t.. I’m assuming..”

I roll my eyes and take a drink. “You would’ve known if I did..”

“Probably find you upstairs having a threesome..” Kate scoffs with a smile. “Where is she now?”

I shrug my shoulders and sip my drink. “She left..”

“Woah, woah.. She left? And you have no idea where she went?”

“Nope..” I take another sip. “And I don’t care..”

“Oh don’t you dare do this, Jacob.” Kate says as she grabs the glass out of my hand. “Yes you do care.”

“She fucking left, Kate, because I won’t give her what she wants. So fine, she wants to be a cry baby about it and leave, then so be it.” I try to reach for the glass but she simply holds out of my reach. I huff and slide off the bar stool. “Fine,” I say as I straighten out my jacket. “I’ll find something or someone else to satisfy me..”

Walking away from the bar, I weave my way through the now crowded dance floor. The sudden smell of vanilla fills my nose and I pause.

Vanilla.

Fuck.

Turning around I’m faced with a woman, smiling wickedly. She wraps her hand around my biceps and nods her head towards the stairs. Looking up, I find another one standing at the top. She wiggles her fingers and winks before disappearing. I allow the first one to lead me to the stairs. Her blonde hair is cascading down her back, nearly touching her ass, which seems to be barely covered by the dress she wears.

Reaching the top of the stairs, she stops and turns to face me. “You know the rules, Mr. Kiszka.. Turn it off..”

I haven’t turned off my emotions since… Since before I met Sara..

Sara.

Her face flashes through my mind. The face full of fear as I grip her neck in my hand.

The delicate feeling of this woman’s hand as she slides it beneath the fabric of my shirt, pulls me away from that image. I look her in the eyes and she smiles.

“Just for a little while.. Take her off your mind..”

Her vanilla scent still clouds my head and I find myself giving in. The mental switch flipping and the overwhelming feeling of guilt washes away.

“There you are..”

Pulling me into the nearest room, she closes the door. Inside rests a bed resting underneath the window, allowing the moonlight to wash over it. I can feel myself growing hard inside my pants as her hands find my body again. Suddenly the second one shows up and she’s already undoing my belt and unbuttoning my pants.

“It’s been a while since you’ve been here, Jacob..” She softly speaks as she kisses my neck. “I see you found yourself a human..”

She barely made it down my exposed chest when the door flew open. “Found him!” I hear Sam’s voice. “Sorry ladies, time’s up,” He says, clapping his hands together.

His hands come down my shoulders and he’s guiding me out of the room. “Fix yourself,” He demands.

“Get your hands off of me..” I say as I try to shove him off.

“Listen, I don’t know what the fuck happened tonight, but Sara is at our place all upset. And those bruises..” He scoffs and shoves me down the stairs. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“I do not..”

Waiting at the bottom of the stairs is Danny. I roll my eyes when ours meet and I straighten out my clothes. “Tell Josh that I do not need you goons to escort me.”

“My my, someone really is in a mood tonight.” Danny chuckles.

I shoot him a glare before I turn away, only to catch Sam motioning his hands in a way to signal to Danny that I have indeed turned off my emotions. Danny nods his head and starts to walk ahead of me, weaving his way through the crowd and back down the now crowded hallway and outside where a black SUV is parked on the side of the road.

The ride to my brother’s home was silent. The staring unbearable as the two of them watch my every move. The car finally comes to a stop in the driveway and the three of us exit and make our way inside.

“We have secured the package!” Sam calls, his voice echoing along the vaulted ceiling and marble walls.

“The package?” Danny groans. “Shut up..”

“She’s upstairs..” I hear behind me.

Turning on my heels, I find Josh standing beside me with his arms crossed over his chest. “And?” I say. “What do you expect me to do?”

“Gee, I don’t know.. Talk to her?!” Josh says. “Fix this!”

“Fix what? She’s only upset because I won’t turn her.”

“For what reason?” Josh says. “And don’t give me the same bullshit excuse of not wanting to turn her into a monster.. Need I remind you that we are the most well behaved so-called monsters, that you think we are, in the whole south.. So knock it off..”

“And if I don’t?”

Josh’s nostrils flare and his arms drop to his sides. Next he’s shoving me towards the stairs. “Switch your flip and go talk to her.”

“You never answered my question..”

“I have a nice, shiny dagger with your name carved in it,” He growls. “Do not make me have to use it.. I’ll keep you limbo for another hundred years if I have to.”

“You dare to threaten me with that?” I scoff. “How original brother.”

“Just go..” He says, shoving me up the stairs.

Begrudgingly, I make my way up the stairs. I can already smell her. Her scent is unmistakable and undeniable. When I turn the corner I spy her in the hallway coming out of one of the rooms, and when she sees me, she darks back in and slamming the door shut. The click of the lock echoing in the massive hall. Taking in a deep breath, I close my eyes and switch that mental flip. Soon all of it comes rushing back. Even the guilt of nearly sleeping with another woman.

Knocking on the door, I wait for her to answer. When she doesn’t, I try again. “Sara, may we-”

“No..”

Oh.. Stern.

“Sara, we need-”

“Go away, Jake..”

Her voice is softer this time. I can almost hear it wavering as the sadness slowly consumes her. How can one simple argument ruin everything? How could I have been so rough with her? I have never laid my hands on her like that. Not unless she had asked me to do it. Which she has.

Kinky.

Fuck.

Now is not the time.

Taking matters into my own hands, I grip the handle and turn the knob. The spike in her pulse is evident as I shove the door open. My eyes meet hers and they aren’t filled with fear after I just broke into the room, but they’re filled with anger. Not the sadness that I had heard in her voice. Pure, white anger. Can I blame her? Not in the slightest. Seeing her angry like that makes me want her. I crave her. I need her.

“Why can’t you listen?” She says. “I said to go away.”

“You should know by now that I don’t listen very well.”

She scoffs, folding her arms over her chest. “Clearly..”

“We need to talk..”

“There’s nothing to talk about.. You made yourself very clear.. So don’t waste your time with me, I’m sure that blonde bimbo would love to continue where you left off.”

Blonde bimbo.

She’s jealous.

A pillow slams into my face, taking me by surprise and making me stumble. “Wipe that smirk off your face..”

“I’m sorry-”

“You’re disgusting..”

“Sara-”

“Leave.”

“Are you ordering me?”

“So what if I am?” She says. “You’re not the only one that’s in charge.”

In a second I’m in her face, her scent heavy and intoxicating. My nose nearly touches hers as I lean down to kiss her. When our lips connect, I pull her body close to mine.

“I could never love another,” I whisper against her lips. “You know that.”

“So dramatic..” She says as she pushes me away.

A light chuckle leaves me and I draw her near again, walking her backwards towards the bed. “In all of my five hundred years, I have never met someone quite like you. Someone who can love so fiercely yet be so damn jealous at the same time.”

“Stop doing that..”

“Stop doing what?”

She tries to shove me away but I only hold her closer. “Stop talking like that..”

“Why? I thought you loved it..” I press my lips to her neck and suck on the soft skin. “And I’m not dramatic, love, I’m romantic. A poet if you will.”

Feeling the fabric of her nightgown, I look down and tsk as I take in her look.

“You dare show up to my brother’s home dressed like this?”

Bending down, just the slightest, I hook my hands around her thighs and lift her up onto my hips.

“Now who’s the jealous one?”

I smile and squeeze her thighs. “So you were jealous..” I lay her down on the bed, hovering over top of her as I use a hand to push up her nightgown to her hips, exposing her glorious center. She makes fast work on undoing my belt and my pants and pushes them down my hips. I reach my hand down from her hip and guide myself to her entrance.

I start to slowly push in when a knock comes on the door. “Sorry to interrupt,” Follows a voice.

Both of us look over. I groan aloud and pull away before standing straight and shoving myself back into my pants. Sara’s moving to sit up, pulling her nightgown back down.

“Christopher..” I mutter.

“What? Not excited to see me?”

“Considering what you just broke up? No..”

He chuckles and leans against the threshold. “I’m here for business.. It’s important..”

I glance over at Sara and nod my head towards the door. I reach for her hand as she walks by and I pull her back. “Do not come upstairs until I tell you to, understand?” I say into her ear. “Stay away.” She meekly nods her head and I let her go.

I clear my throat when I catch him watching her as she leaves. He rolls his eyes and steps into the room. “Just one little nip..” He says.

“Touch her and I will kill you.”

“Exactly why I’m here,” Chris says as he walks over to the bed and sits down. “Well partially..”

“Alright,” I lean against the bedpost. “Why are you here then?”

“I have been sent here from London to investigate the recent murders along the eastern seaboard,” Chris says as he stands back to his feet.

“Well I can certainly tell you that it’s not me committing these murders, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

Chris chuckles but shakes his head. “I fully believe that you are not responsible for them,” He says. “You seem rather…occupied.” He says, directing his eyes towards the door that Sara left through. “I still don’t understand why you waste your time with a human..”

“Chris..”

“No, truly, Jacob.. What if you turn her and she becomes like one of the newborns? The newborn that happens to be terrorizing the East Coast as we speak.”

“I’m not turning her..” I say. “For that exact reason.. We are monsters, whether my brothers choose to believe the myths or not, that is what we are. How can I trust that she won’t be the same?”

Chris nods his head. “At least that we can agree on..” He runs a hand through his hair. “You are the most experienced dealing with newborns.. You know how they operate..”

“Considering we all were one once?” I say, raising my eyebrows. “And I assume that you are requesting my assistance in tracking down this newborn?”

“Yes.”

“Where do you need me then?”

Chris starts for the door. “The latest one was in Boston, I expect to see you there tomorrow morning.. I would suggest now, but seeing what I interrupted,” He smirks. “I suggest you get some use out of her because you will be gone for a while.”

He turns back around and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Rolling my eyes, I go back to sit on the bed. The collar of my shirt suddenly felt tighter around my neck. Grabbing at the fabric, I pull it apart and undo the cuffs of my sleeves.

A soft knock comes on the door and I turn my head to see Sara peeking her head in. I wave her over and she slips back into the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

“Chris is..” She clears her throat. “Interesting..”

“He is indeed,” I chuckle. I pull her onto my lap, my hands gripping her hips. “And didn’t I tell you not to come back up until I called you?”

“You should know by now, Jake,” She says. “That I do not listen very well.”

“Hmm..” I smiled at her. “I do know..”

“So what did he want?” She asks. “If I am allowed to know?”

I inhale and cock my head to the side. “There is a newborn killing up and down the East Coast. Chris has requested my help in catching this newborn.”

“Oh.. So you must be leaving soon?”

I nod my head. “He wants me in Boston by tomorrow morning.”

“That does not give us much time then,” She says.

“To do what?” I ask as I run my hands underneath her nightgown. “To make up?” She nods her head and I smile. “It’s plenty of time.. And besides, he’ll survive if I show up a little late.. A newborn can’t survive in the sun until they have the proper means to do so.”

“And what would that be?”

I bring my hand up to her face and rest my index finger against her lips. “You ask too many questions.. Stop wasting the limited time we have before I leave.”

“I’m only curious.”

“And I am only craving you.”

“Not worried your brothers might hear us?”

“They wouldn’t have to hear us if we’d been at our own home..” I say and she smiles. “Next time you decide to leave home, do not come here.”

“Afraid that Josh might try something?”

I chuckle. “No, I am not afraid that Josh will try something.. It’s Sam that I am afraid of.” I pinch her thighs and she gasps. “Now stop talking…”

if i have missed you and you would like to added to the taglist for this, please do not hesitate to comment or message me!

@losfacedevil @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @katuschka @josh-iamyour-mama (more tags in comments)

[rachetmath]

Jaune was working as usual until he heard his scroll. He looks to see Blake calling him. He answers.

Blake: Jaune we need to talk.

Jaune: *putting a baby to sleep while controlling kids* Blake I am a little busy at the moment.

Blake: Jaune we need to discuss why you quit your position.

Jaune: I don’t know maybe because I’m not needed and might as well use my time to get stronger and probably be more useful.

Yang: Jaune come on you were plenty useful in the nursing.

Jaune: Yang they have medical professionals. They were fine without me. Plus I go back there every morning. I never left. I even have them on my scroll. They call me too. So what’s the problem?

Robyn: Look we just need you to start pulling your weight and do your job.

Jaune: *triggered*

Kid #1: Ooo you messed up lady.

Jaune”s teacher 1: Honey you felt that, right?

Jaune’s teacher 2: Mm-hm someone about to get their ass beat. And my son is about to do it.

Jaune’s teacher 1: Honey we already got ten kids.

Jaune’s teacher 2: And I love them but their still children. They don’t know how bad adulthood is yet.

Jaune: Little bi- *remembers the children* You know what how about we have a meeting about this okay?

Robyn: Fine.

The next day everyone gathered around for the meeting with Jaune being in the room first. After everyone finished what they had to say, Jaune presented himself and replied.

Jaune: So, everyone good? Okay, I’ll make this quick. I have been doing my job better than almost all of you. Almost.

Qrow: Jaune what do you mean you have been messing up-

Jaune: I know the man who can change into a bird and is a legend yet still can’t watch over a maiden and his nieces for shit is talking to me.

Qrow: Now hold up son I’ll beat-

Jaune: Bro you are the reason Clover is dead. And the reason Tyrian escaped along with Robinhood over there.

Robyn: Hey.

Jaune: And speaking of you, Ms. Hill, how the hell was Penny defending your city better than you or any of your Happy Huntresses considering the amount of citizens who got hurt? 

May: Hey we had to evacuate our citizens cause your team deserted us. 

Jaune: Well sorry, it is not like one of my friends wasn’t kidnapped and was about to die at any given moment. 

Yang: You could have helped.

Jaune: Bitch you told me not to fight. Hell we almost got him back too. Oh. And we were planning to come back. However, we were captured because I was trying to warn someone of an upcoming attack. Which happened and yet some stubborn mother fuckers wouldn’t listen. Cause they were fixated on looking for Penny. 

Winter: Mm he did. But you

Jaune: Yeah-yeah I know, the Ironwood and Ruby bs. And speaking of that wouldn’t James have killed everyone anyway if we hadn’t stopped him?

Qrow: Not to mention Harriet almost dropped a whole bomb on Mantle to kill everyone.

Harriet: Okay rude.

Yang: Okay Jaune-

Jaune: Bitch don’t get me- don’t get me started on you. You have been getting your ass beat as of late. Like in Atlas and Mantle, I don't know how that’s possible, but me and my men, have been carrying you throughout the whole ordeal. All you have been doing was not knowing how to shut the hell up.  

Yang: um…

Jaune: Like you was talking about the Ace-ops and Winter following orders yet you were following Ozpin’s,Ruby’s, Ironwood's and better yet, you were following my orders. At least I was coming up with a plan. I was helping Ren. Being a leader. What were you doing other than Blake?

Blake: Alright Jaune, calm down, You have made your point.

Jaune: Oh no the fuck I haven't. Are you Ruby's sister?

Blake: No.

Jaune: Mm I wonder what drew me to that conclusion considering you have been acting like her sister more than a blond brawler over here? Both moms left her too, yet she looked for the one who never raised her.  

Yang: *tears dropping from her eyes*

Nora: Wow Jaune, that's cold.

Jaune: Nora. Ren. My supposedly two remaining teammates. 

Ren: Come on not again. Jaune, Ruby already told us everything. What can you possibly say that she hasn't told us yet?

Jaune: For someone who was on James's dick you never once tried to snitch on us. In fact you been kinda rude half the time.Then you decided to speak out against Harriet like you and Yang didn't argue before we got caught.

Ren: That was because she was insulting Pyrrha.

Jaune: Which I understand but I thought we were past that already.

Ren: Well I was the reason Winter agreed to your plan. And I was the reason we survived the whale to find Oscar.

Jaune: Emerald and Hazel saved Oscar before we had a chance. We basically went in there for nothing. And you almost started a fight with Harriet. 

Winter: Also I was a little hesitant but I agreed to the plan. Mainly more hostages. You wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t jumped in.

Jaune: More importantly if I were to have thrown the relic into the mix, which had one question left by the way,  you're telling me Harriet wouldn't agree to let us go. Mainly because they were looking for Penny regardless.

Nora: Wow Jaune you would thrown Penny under the bus that easily?

Jaune: If it meant a negotiation with James, probably, yes. And Nora, weren't you unconscious throughout half that experience? 

Nora: I saved team RWBY.

Jaune: Who hasn't? Cause I recall, Qrow, Oobleck, Gylanda, us, CVFY, Ace-ops, James, and Ozpin. You ain’t special.

Oscar: Damn.

Jaune: Oscar you decided to meet James and try to talk. After he made us wanted criminals. What were you thinking?

Oscar: At least I tried to reassure him. 

Jaune: And you got shot. Mother fucker you were wasting time and our efforts. Next time no one might not be able to help you. And Ozpin? It took a whole pile of shit to happen for you to finally came out and help? 

Oscar(Ozpin): Mr. Arc it was not that bad.

Jaune: He got shot. Manhandled by a Grimm. And beat up by an old man. Come on.

Ozpin: … …

Jaune: Don’t get me started on how you fucked up years before.

Pietro: Jaune. You killed my-

Jaune: I killed Penny and saved Winter. Winter was Ironwood's second in command and was in charge of a whole army during a full-scale invasion. The fact Penny had Weiss, Ruby, Blake, Yang, and Nora to choose from proves she knew all of them weren't up to the task. Plus I was trying to help her but my options were limited. I did what I had to. I’m sorry.

Pietro: You could have-

Jaune: Healed her? I TRIED!!! However let's discuss how I have been carrying every damn body on my back. I had to help Ren multiple times when using his semblance. I had to heal Oscar. Heal Nora. Amplify Weiss and Penny when it came to her virus. Hell fourth wall breaking did anyone think for a second I amplified Ren ahead of time so he can mask those same thousands of people.

RWBY fan: …. ….

Jaune: All that while running, fighting and surviving while having barely enough sleep or energy. Hell, my aura kept breaking multiple times. I am surprised I haven't passed out yet.

Winter: Mm he made his point.

Weiss: Winter, why are you siding with him so quickly?

Winter: First off I am alive because of him. Second, Weiss, you lied to my face. Like I was open with you and you never once came to me with the truth. I'm your sister. You're lucky I was willing to side with you at all.

Jaune: Facts. And for someone who lived in Atlas, you barely did shit to save it. 

Weiss: I sent ships to help Mantle.

Winter: That's the thing though Mantle. You did nothing for Atlas at all. And how did you send those ships?

Weiss: Well it was mainly Whitley.

Winter: I rest my case.

Jaune: Also aren't you Ruby’s partner? Why are Oscar, Blake, and myself filling in those shoes more than you? 

Yang: Well in the Ever After you-

Jaune: I was trying to find a way home by learning the story. But as the saying goes, “Don’t trust everything you read.”  And sorry for protecting a civilization from killing itself even though that was the only thing keeping me sane.

Yang: *silent*  

Blake: They came back though.

Jaune: They don’t remember me or their past lives. They died and came back only to die again. Not to mention I had to leave my second and long-time companion and place her in the care of a rat. Not only that I had a whole map of the Ever After. I wasn't playing around. I was seriously trying to find a way home. Yet you called me crazy.

Blake: *silent* 

Jaune: Here is what I am saying, true enough I can't fight for anything but I at least help in areas none of you can seem to grasp. I have to sacrifice my mental and physical well-being to support ya’ll. I have been doing my job as a huntsman, teammate and a friend than almost any of you. 

Nora: But Jaune you’re our leader we need you.

Jaune: I recall the majority of times you two barely follow my orders. Ruby is your leader. I don’t recall having a team move with either of you. Not just that you have Oscar and Emerald so fuck both of you. 

Ren: Are we that bad of a team?

Jaune: Yeah, and what’s crazier is I have a family I haven’t seen in years yet I’m still prioritizing a city full of savages, and you all as my friends when I can just pull a Raven and leave you be.

Yang: DUDE!!

Jaune: I’m just saying I could leave and nothing would change. Now I’m leaving cause I got a job to do!*leave*

Qrow: Well damn.

Nora: I guess we all made mistakes.

Ren: Yes.

Weiss: I’m going to call Ruby and see if we can hang out.

Yang: Can we make that a double?

Oscar: Um Nora do you think-

Nora: Calm down Oscar. Jaune may be upset but he’ll be fine. He wouldn’t leave us like that.

A few weeks later.

Ruby: Hey everyone we’re back.

Team RWBY saw a crying Nora in Ren’s arms and defeated Qrow comforted by Oscar. Ruby looks to see a letter and picks it up. Ruby and her team read the letter. Afterward, Yang is shocked, and Weiss is sad as Blake comforts them. Ruby on the other hand steps out and then stares at the sky. A tear flows down her eye.

Ruby:  Well, at least you have the common decency to tell me what you’re up to. But still…*sigh* Hope you find what you're looking for my friend. And… … Please… come back safely.

Jaune was flying on a Nevermore along with Emerald who snuck aboard to his surprise. Jaune, though irritated, continued flying as she held onto him.

Emerald: I can’t believe you tamed a Nevermore. 

Jaune: Yeah-yeah anyways why did you follow me here?

Emerald: Hey someone has to watch your back.

Jaune: You are the last person I want to cover my back.

Emerald: Well don’t be rude. But also…

Jaune: What?

Emerald: Jaune… Salem is after you.

Jaune: Really? Why? I don’t recall being a silver-eyed warrior or Ozpin’s vessel. So why me? Also, how do you know?

Emerald: Mercury told me and even he doesn’t know. He just overheard Tyrian about you.

Jaune: I fought with him a week ago. (Should’ve killed him too.) Still doesn’t make sense though. Did he hear anything from Cinder?

Emerald: No. 

Jaune: Look I already left the kingdom. Cinder mainly wants Ruby dead. And Salem will be too preoccupied to do anything about me. We’re under clear.  

Somewhere in Vacuo, Tyrian and Mercury were speaking to Salem and Cinder through one of her sphere Grimm. Salem hears Jaune has left the kingdom of Vacuo and is enraged.

Salem: WHAT?!

Tyrian: I’m sorry mistress. Please calm down.

Salem: *breaths* Very well. Cinder will meet you both in Vacuo. Therefore we will split our efforts into two. You three along with our allies will search and kill the Summer Maiden along with team RWBY and their annoying friends. I will send a request to half of them to assist me in finding him. I may even need them.

Tyrian: Them ma’am?

Salem: Yes, them.

Tyrian: Very well my queen. We will not fail you.

Salem ends the call while Cinder stands before her with an angered look in her eye.

Salem: What is it, my dear?

Cinder: Why are you after Jaune?

Salem: Why do you ask?

Cinder Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude but that boy isn’t worth our efforts at all.

Salem: Hm… really? So how come he’s alive?

Cinder: By sheer luck of course.

Salem: True. However, there is no doubt he has gotten in the way of our plans. Like with killing the Schnee girl. Or getting the winter maiden’s power. 

Cinder: *nervous* Those were my failures, ma’am.

Salem: Regardless I need him alive.

Cinder: But why though.

Salem: His semblance and aura. With his semblance along with Gillian's, I might be able to push our army further to evolution. But I need his power to do it. 

Cinder: Then allow me to-

Salem: *snaps* 

Cinder was shut off as she could feel pain from her Grimm arm. Salem turns around and looks to Cinder and say as she closes in on her.

Salem: I recall sending you to handle said children and what happened? Oh. You costed me knowledge. You lost the maiden powers to another huntress. Hazel and Emerald betrayed us. And worse of all you lost two useful people. 

Cinder: But I gave you creation. Surly that makes up- *feels greater pain*

Salem; Ever since you came back you have been getting cocky and more foolish by the day. Draining my resources. Right now, all I want from you to do is simply play nice and follow orders. Like a good little doll. 

Cinder was terrified as she stared at Salem’s as she leaned down to look closer at Cinder’s frightened gaze.

Salem: Understand this Cinder. I was the reason you managed to obtain and control that power you have in your possession. However, you so far have continued to prove how undeserving you are of said power and responsibility that comes with it. So let me break this down for you. If you so much as make a mistake, further disrupt my plans, or worse fail me…

Cinder: … …. 

Salem: I will take everything from you. Do you understand child?

Cinder: Yes m- *screams* Yes… my queen.

Salem: Good. Now leave. 

Cinder gets up and leaves for Vacuo. Salem on the other hand walks around her castle until she reaches her destination. There she opens a huge door. She walks through the door only to be greeted by multiple eyes.

Salem: Hello my children.

???: Greetings Mother.

Salem: Mother is sorry. I wish I didn’t have to send you to do this. But there is no one but you that I trust to do this task

???: Anything Mother.

Salem uses her Grimm to present an image of the target.

Salem: Find this boy. Do however you feel it takes to bring him back alive. 

???: May we have fun hunting him Mother.

Salem: *smile* Of course, my children. You may torture him and do as you see fit.

???: Yes mother. It shall be done.

Salem: Then go.