#< I think I have the most of those

[batrogers]

My AO3 Contents Masterpost

So I've been having some frustrations finding old fiction on my AO3, so after cleaning up my That Broken Promise masterpost I thought... I could do one for all my Zelda stuff, right?

Right.

......

This is really long (like, ~100 things) I'm so sorry.

Fics below are organized into: Long fics General Zelda Short fics PWP Art Other Zelda AUs

See the above That Broken Promise masterpost for my own AU fics.

Some notes on my writing:

I am a multi-shipper, and I write for multiple AUs, multiple games, and sometimes write mutually exclusive pieces to explores different ways the same scenario can go.

Unless things specifically say they're related to each other (and sometimes even when they do) there may be obvious or not-so-obvious contradictions in things like age, gender, body types, race, and relationships. While the broad strokes of world-building are usually the same or similar, and if not specified you can pick your favourite, I do not hold continuity to be the most important feature in what is, at the end of the day, a long-running series of one-shots.

While I will aim to make broad statements on content warnings and rating per fic below, please know that my works will run the gamut from G-rated fluff to E-rated graphic sex, death, and violence. Sometimes all in the same story.

While there is a PWP category, stories that have more plot than sex will be filed elsewhere.

MY LONG FICS:BLUE GEM EARRINGS, (unfinished) novelization of Ocarina of Time adult era, after answering how does seven years lost make one ready to wield a sword? What if it was seven years lived in another time? Rated M, 38K. Complete up to the end of Water Temple.

THE PRINCE OF HYRULE, a “first Calamity” fic, mostly written pre-TOTK coming out with some minor trailer/game details. MCD/Graphic violence tragedy. Zelda does not know she's Zelda (trans), and Link does not know he's Link (human Zonai.) M-rated, 38K words.

IN THE SHADOW OF DEATH, a standalone Link’s Meet horror fic set in Breath of the Wild. (Temporary) Major Character Death and Graphic violence, and did I mention this was horror? E-rated, 55K words.

A CANDLE IN THE DARKNESS, Ravio’s POV of Link Between Worlds, why he left and how he took care of Link. Graphic violence, and brief references to past dubcon Ravio/Yuga. Rated M, 18K words.

JUST BREATHE, a (very old) novelization of Breath of the Wild, based off my second playthrough of the game. CW for graphic violence, temporary character death and implied/referenced past sexual abuse. Rated M, 148K words.

Related to Just Breathe, are two works:

FIVE THINGS NEVER REMEMBERED, rated M for mature themes, implied non-con, and death aftercare.

TO THE BRINK OF DESTRUCTION, rated M for graphic violence and implied MCD: the story of the last four pictures of the memories.

GENERAL ZELDA: (in roughly timeline order)

[Note: some of these are listed elsewhere as That Broken Promise backstory fics, but the ones included here do not require familiarity with the AU to understand.]

MY DAUGHTER WILL NEED A SWORD, pre-Skyward Sword era. Fierce Deity/Hylia, human!Fierce Deity fic. Rated M for sex, graphic violence, and MCD.

WHERE DEMONS HAVE GONE BEFORE, post-Skyward Sword ZeLink, rated M for graphic injury and fade-to-black sex.

RAGE AGAINST THAT DYING LIGHT, post-Ocarina of Time. Implied past GanLink, renewed Civil War. Rated E for war crimes, graphic violence and MCD.

SECOND CHANCES, crackship Wind Waker Ganondorf/Fierce Deity. Rated M for near-drowning, discussion of past trauma, and consensual sex.

THOUGH THERE BE FURY ON THE WAVES, post-Phantom Hourglass/post-Wind Waker fic with CD-i Easter Eggs. Rated E for graphic violence towards a minor, among other things.

IN THE HAND OF FATE, Twilight Princess puppet Zelda fight. Rated E for graphic violence (including mouth trauma) and temporary character death.

FIVE TIMES LINK HURT HIMSELF (AND WHEN HE STOPPED) Four Swords Adventures. Rated M for interpersonal violence and mature themes.

REFLECTIONS OF AN UNFAMILIAR FACE, Hyrule Warriors, Link finds Ravio. Rated T for mature themes, and implied dubcon/noncon.

CIGAR, Hyrule Warriors, Spirit Tracks-as-Toon Link, Link shipping. First kiss fic, rated M for making out and smoking.

IN ACCORDANCE WITH ORDERS, Hyrule Warriors, abusive Lana and Spirit-Tracks-as-Toon Link, Linkshipping. Rated M for abusive relationship dynamics, discussion of dubious consent, and attempted murder.

MINE. Hyrule Warriors Link was given a “gift” by Lana early in the war, to make him more of the Hero everyone expected him to be but now that it’s over he wants things back the way they were. Rated M for discussion of past abuse, flashbacks, and body/gender dysphoria.

TWO PATHS DIVERGE, Post-Link to the Past, pre-Oracles, Link finished his adventure and never wanted to hold a sword again. He married, and had children, and then the Gods laid down another blow. Rated T for dark, mature themes.

A NEW AGE, post-Zelda I/pre-Zelda II. Link discovers the blood curse, and finally reaches out to Zelda for help. Rated M for graphic violence and mature themes.

THE LOST LITTLE BIRD, Age of Calamity sword pull, rewritten to answer why Link didn't have the sword already. Rated T for mature themes and moderate violence.

DESERVED, post-BOTW Link confronts Zelda about things she won’t tell him about his past. Who decides what he deserves to know or not?

WANTS AND NEEDS, post-TOTK. Link loses his arm to complications after rescuing Zelda and has to cope. Rated M for graphic injury and PTSD. Technically incomplete but works for now as standalone.

TAXATION IN HYRULE, Exactly what it says on the tin kind of meta analysis. Rated G.

SHORT FICTION: (in roughly timeline order)

SHE OFFERED A CHOICE (about Farore & the Fierce Deity)

SHEPHERD'S PIE (OoT MaLink)

SCOLD'S BRIDLE (FSA Vio Link)

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET HURT (FSA, Shadow/Vio)

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS (HW Link & Sheik)

WHO HURT YOU (HW Toon Link & Link)

FLINCH (BOTW Zelda & Link)

WATCHFUL NIGHTS (LU Time & Legend)

GORE SNIPS (Collected M & E rated short violence)

FLUFF DUMP (Collected G-M rated short fiction)

PWP & NON-CON: (in roughly timeline order)

THE DEMON KING, Skyward Sword era Fierce Deity. Demise/Fierce Deity, sensual graphic violence.

A DRINK OF THE FORBIDDEN CUP, Twilight Princess ZeLink, graphic consensual BDSM violence and sex.

ECLIPSE OF THE SUN, Hyrule Warriors. Cia/Link & Lana/Link non-con, restraint and coercion.

SILENT GUARDIANS, Hyrule Warriors. Volga/Link bad idea sex, with a hurt/comfort ending.

DULCE ET DECORUM EST, Hyrule Warriors. Zelda/Link consensual sex

MOUTHFUL OF FLESH, Hyrule Warriors era Yuga gets his hands on Spirit Tracks-as-Toon Link and has some fun. Non-con, gags, paralysis, and blood play.

DEFY AND DEFINE THE DARKNESS, Yuga/Ravio, dubcon turned noncon, torture.

LOCK PICKS, mid-Link Between Worlds. Ravio & Link, and implied dubcon Ravio/Yuga, non-con body modification and chastity play.

TO MAKE MUCH OF TIME, Bozai/Link non-con/graphic violence, implied temporary character death.

WAIT FOR ME TO COME AROUND AGAIN, Calamity/Zelda MCD non-con. BOTW bad ending.

SAW THE GOLD RETURN TO RUST, Zelda/Link & Calamity horrors, non-con/graphic violence and temporary character death. Post-BOTW, pre-TOTK.

MURDER WITH BENEFITS, bad ending post-TOTK, Demon King Ganondorf/Fierce Deity, graphic violence and dubcon sex.

SON OF THE DESERT WINDS, TOTK Ganondorf/Rauru, political dubcon turned noncon with eye scream body horror.

PRIVATE COMFORTS, Serial Numbers Filed Off Link/Link porn. Consensual sex.

ART:

WAGES OF WAR, rated E for violence, post-Ocarina of Time torture

BUT NOT LIKE THIS, rated E, comic of “Rage Against That Dying Light”

LAST NIGHT, rated E for non-con, Yuga/Ravio

OBEDIENCE, rated M for BDSM, Hilda/Ravio

JUST A GAME, rated E for violence, artwork for “Having Fun Yet?” by @triforce-of-mischief

WELCOME HOME, rated E for sex, BOTW GanLink

LINKED UNIVERSE FICS: @linkeduniverse

SHINING EYES, in which Time is possessed and the Chain must get him freed and hope the cure for what ails them isn’t worse than the illness. Rated T for moderate violence.

BREAKING THE FAITH: Time handles being back among the Gerudo, even in someone else’s world, poorly. Rated M for attempted murder and mature themes.

RAVIOLI INTERRUPTED, in which Ravio sends the Chain on to the city so he can have some alone time with his lover. Rated M for sensuality.

THE DOLLMAKER: What kind of person makes the dolls that so often saved Hyrule’s life? What would she be like? Rated M for graphic violence and temporary character death. Leads into a series all its own, ALL THE LITTLE DOLLS.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE, Wind wakes up bleeding and has to ask Hyrule what’s wrong. Rated G, talk of menstruation.

SKIN & GOLD, in which Time must save Legend from Gerudo slavers and try not to lose his composure in the face of Twinrova being... kind? Rated T for mature themes.

BROWSING AMONG THE LILIES, Time returns home and Malon does her best to comfort him. Rated E for consensual sex.

MAKE IT STOP, Ravio comes to see his lover after Warriors writes to tell him he is very unwell. Rated G.

DON'T TOUCH MY BROTHER, In Wild’s era, Hyrule catches someone talking to his brother in an unpleasant way. Rated T for brief violence and sexual harassment.

KNOWING ONLY MAKES IT HARDER, Warriors pushed himself to exhaustion until Sky drugged him to spare him further injury, but he does not take being tricked well at all. Time talks him down. Rated G

THROUGH THE VALLEY, in which the Chain winds up somewhere nearly pitch black where Wild’s Slate says they’re in the Gerudo Desert but they very much are NOT. Rated E for graphic violence and temporary character death.

IN THE DARK, POV swap of Through the Valley into Warriors POV. Rated M for graphic violence and temporary character death.

DO YOU TRUST ME, in which Legend gets pollen in his mouth from a strange plant in a strange, dark realm in Wild’s world and has a bad trip. Rated G. This fic got art from @kikker-oma during Fan Joy July!

CARMELIZE. Twilight never really wondered why Warriors watched him cook before. He honestly barely noticed he did it at all, until suddenly he moved to leave. Rated G.

SEARED AND TURNED, Warriors has a nightmare, but he doesn’t want to bother anyone with the details. Rated T, for graphic nightmare imagery.

UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, Malon writes Time with a question about how her beloved husband, who most definitely cannot get her pregnant, did so anyways. She has her suspicions. Rated M for sensual descriptions in epistolary fic.

TOO MANY QUESTIONS, Wind is curious and Hyrule’s happy to answer his questions, but some things are too specific to brush off as unimportant how he came to that conclusion. Rated M for frank discussion of sex acts.

LINK HEART-EATER. Hyrule got a nickname long before he was in the Chain, and before he ever killed Ganon in fact. It’s the kind that can come back to bite you. Rated E for graphic violence.

THINGS BEST LEFT UNSAID, in which Time, Warriors & Twilight get drunk and complain about politics and home and things some of the others never thought they’d hear. Rated T for mature themes.

LANGUAGE BARRIERS, AND OTHER THINGS. Warriors finally notices something odd about how Twilight’s Zelda speaks of him. Rated G.

MERMAID LAKE, Ravio comes to visit the Chain, and Warriors tells him Legend went off to the lake to blow off steam. Ravio knows exactly what that means. Rated M for sex.

FIRST, YOU MUST FORGIVE YOURSELF, Sky is having a hard time after being kidnapped and tortured, and Time tries to talk him down. Rated M for discussion of sexual violence.

LINKED UNIVERSE x THAT BROKEN PROMISE FICS: @thatbrokenpromise

LARKS STILL BRAVELY SINGING, aka LU Time meets TBP Kokiri and things explode. Rated T for attempted murder.

GOLDEN BROTHERS, aka TBP Kokiri has to gree LU Legend from Gerudo slavers, then reaches out to LU Time for even a chance at revence. Rated T for mature themes.

NEAR MISS, aka Cia tries to fuck with the Chain & the TBP Gang at the same time, and TBP Prince is having none of her shit. Rated T for moderate violence; sequel to "I Know What Will Happen" and prequel to "At What Cost?" by @triforce-of-mischief

WIND GETS "THE TALK," where TBP Far and LU Hyrule discover the boy has questions and they are both very sure he needs to know these answers. Rated M for frank discussion of sexual topics.

RECALLED AU FICS: @recalled11

SEE SKY RUN, Creatures in the sky knock him off his loftwing and keep him down, on unsafe ground that has no mercy for old injuries or new. Rated M for near-death, graphic violence.

IF IT CAN DIE, I CAN KILL IT, Legend hates lightning, and if there’s a monster setting it off he’s going to make it pay for that. Rated T for moderate violence.

MANGLED WILD, Down in the Depths, Wild, Captain, and Sky come across a Frox and Wild forgot just how fast they can move. Rated E for graphic violence and near-death. @l3ominor did a comic of this as well!

SNAKE BITE, Legend comes up from a cave with a dead snake, and nobody’s sure if its poisonous or not. Rated T for near-death.

NOT MY PROBLEM. Legend wanders the Great Plateau, to be anywhere but near the damn gloom hands the others are handling, and finds a cave. He’s not the first of their group in there. Rated G.

AGELESS SOUL AU: @ageless-soul-au

INTO THE DEEP, The Chain is in their distant past, before First was ever even alive to find answers. Unfortunately, someone else is already there too. Rated M for graphic injury and temporary character death.

TWO OF SIX, Hyrule, Warriors, and Legend meet the Dollmaker. She’s very happy to see them, even though she’s already got company – but Hyrule is always her favourite guest. Rated M for off-screen temporary character death and coercion.

[akanemnon]

We didn't even get an answer, and we never will (at least it's not determination)

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[kittyprincessofcats]

ICJ Ruling

Okay, let's get into this.

First of all, I get the frustration at the court not ordering a ceasefire. I was disappointed and frustrated at first too, since a ceasefire was the biggest and most important preliminary measure South Africa was requesting - and of course we just all want this horror to finally end for the people in Gaza. So I get the frustration and disappointment, I really do.

However, I do think this ruling is still a major win for South Africa, Palestine, and international law as a whole and here's why:

The court acknowledged that it has jurisdiction over this case and completely dismissed Israel's request to throw out the case as a whole. It will now determine at the merits stage (that will probably take years) whether Israel is actually commiting genocide.

The court acknowledged that Palestinians are a "distinct national or ethnic group and therefore deserving of protection under the genocide convention". Pull this out next time someone tells you "there's no such thing as Palestinians, they're all just Arabs".

The court acknowledged very unambiguously that "at least some" of Israel's actions being genocidal in nature is "plausible". South Africa has a case, officially. Israel is accused of genocide, in a way the ICJ deems "plausible", officially. This is huge. (And seriously, how freaking satisfying was it to hear all of those genocidal statements by Israeli politicians read out loud and used as justification for this rulling?)

The court might not have ordered a "ceasefire" in those words, but they did order Israel to "immediately end all genocidal acts" (which includes killing and injuring Palestinians) and submit proof that they actually did. How are they going to comply with this ruling without at least severly reducing or changing what they're doing in Gaza?

In fact, this wording might actually be more appropriate for a genocide (vs a war), as author and journalist Ali Abunimah notes on Twitter:

He's completely right. Israel lost today, by overwhelming majority (I mean, 15 to 2? I heard people predict the rulings would be very close, like 9 judges vs 8, but instead we got 15 to 2 (and even 16 to 1 on the humanitarian aid). Holy shit.) The court disimissed almost everything Israel's side of lawyers said, while acknowledging that South Africa's accusations are "plausible".

And this is important especially because of Mr Abunimah's second tweet there^. Because the question is, where do we go from here?

This ruling means that Israel is officially /possibly/ commiting genocide and that should have huge international consequences. The rest of the world now HAS to take these accusations seriously and stop arming and supporting Israel - and if they won't do it on their own, we, the people, have to make them. This is THE moment to rise up all around the world, especially in the countries most supportive of Israel (the US, the UK, Germany): Protest, call your representatives and demand a ceasefire and an end of arms deliveries to Israel.

We now have a legal case to back our demands: If Israel is, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" commiting genocide, then all of our governments are, according to the ICJ, "plausibly" guiltly of aiding in genocide. And we need to hold that over their heads and demand better. We need to do that right now and in huge numbers. Most politicians only care about themselves and saving their skin. We have to make them realize that they could be accused of aiding in genocide.

(As a German, I'm thinking of Germany here in particular: After South Africa's hearing, our government dismissed their case as having "no basis" - how are they going to keep saying that now that the ICJ officially thinks otherwise? Over the last months, people here have been arrested at protests for calling what's happening in Gaza a genocide. How are the police supposed to legally keep doing that now that the ICJ has officially deemed this accusation "plausible"? I used to be scared to use the word "genocide" at protests or write it on my protest signs - not anymore, have fun trying to arrest me for that when the ICJ literally has my back on this one 🖕🏻.)

So yeah - don't be defeatist about this, don't let Israel's narrative that they "won" (they didn't) take over. This might not be everything we wanted, but it's still a good result. Don't let what the court didn't say ("ceasefire"), distract you from the very important things that they did say. Let this be your motivation to get loud and active, especially if you live in any country that supports Israel. Put pressure on your governments to not be complicit in genocide, you now officially have the highest international court on your side.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Flower Empowered.

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[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

its always funny when i remember hamilton was a big deal because i know about it rationally like i was into it as well. but so many people in the doctor who tag knowing jonathan groff primarily as king george still amuses me because he is in so many other things

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[bonefall]

Anyway. Bi and Mspec Lesbians aren't a hotly "debated" topic or even new to queer culture, it's just the newest thing that bullies who REALLY want to be homophobic and even racist use to justify harassing gay people they don't like.

It's the thinnest possible veneer of progressive language wrapped around TERF and reactionary rhetoric so that they can feel righteous for forming an angry mob against vulnerable targets. If you're gullible enough to fall for the newest wave of bigotry within the queer community, and turn on your allies because they're "confusing" or "invading your spaces," the SAME way they turned on bi/pan labels, trans people, xenogenders, neopronouns, and aroace people before this, then get lost.

[aria-greenhoodie]

You see, @localcanadiancryptid22, I’m a motherfucker who LOVES drama, so I fw anything that can create that.

I’m normal. Btw. In case you were wondering.

[bunnieswithknives]

RAHHHh ok comics done I can post this now!!! He is having the worst possible time

[silusvesuius]

baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols

[gothra]

I’ll never forget when I was arguing with a person in favor of total prison abolition and I asked them “what about violent offenders?” And they said “Well, in a world where prisons have been abolished, we’ll have leveled the playing field and everyone will have their basic needs met, and crime won’t be as much of an issue.” And then I was like “okay. But…no. Because rich people also rape and murder, so it isn’t just a poor person thing. So what will we do about that?” And I don’t think they answered me after that. I’m ashamed to say I continued to think that the problem was that I simply didn’t understand prison abolitionists enough and that their point was right in front of me, and it would click once I finally let myself understand it. It took me a long time to realize that if something is going to make sense, it needs to make sense. If you want to turn theory into Praxis (I’m using that word right don’t correct me I’ll vomit) everyone needs to be on board, which mean it all needs to click and it needs to click fast and fucking clear. You need to turn a complex idea into something both digestible and flexible enough to be expanded upon. Every time I ask a prison abolitionist what they actually intend to do about violent crime, I get directed to a summer reading list and a BreadTuber. It’s like a sleight-of-hand trick. Where’s the answer to my question. There it is. No wait, there it is. It’s under this cup. No it isn’t. “There’s theory that can explain this better than I can.” As if most theory isn’t just a collection of essays meant to be absorbed and discussed by academics, not the average skeptic. “Read this book.” And the book won’t even answer the question. The book tells you to go ask someone else. “Oh, watch this so-and-so, she totally explains it better than me.” Why can’t you explain it at all? Why did you even bring it up if you were going to point me to someone else to give me the basics that you should probably already know? Maybe I’m just one of those crazy people who thinks that some people need to be kept away from the public for everyone’s good. Maybe that just makes me insane. Maybe not believing that pervasive systemic misogyny could be solved with a UBI and a prayer circle makes me a bad guy. But it’s not like women’s safety is a priority anyway. It’s not like there is an objective claim to be made that re-releasing violent offenders or simply not locking them up is deadly.

[viveela]

A style comic I just had to get out of my system

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.

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[paperglader]

they really put alicent in bridgerton blue on the reunion and genuinely expected me to think that she didn’t in fact march all the way to dragonstone to get wifed up? bfr

[mamawasatesttube]

my ideal timkon don't get together until they've both already done some queer realizations and dated other guys a little bit, in part because on tim's end, i think he's been in love with kon since he was 17, but at 17 tim didn't even know he was bisexual, forget anything else. and his feelings for kon were so big but also so constant that he didn't even realize they were there or significant because they've always been there and been huge. for years. so he putters along and does his time in the torment nexus (the closet) and languishes a bit but slowly starts to figure it out.

meanwhile kon dates someone, mostly like omg im dating a guy this is ALLOWED !??!?! and its pretty lowkey and casual and doesnt last bc like . super identity issues, right. kon would Never just tell someone, but secrets and casual relationships dont last long etc etc. but just the entire principle of kon dating someone and then being like yeah idk im not really feeling it like hes nice and all but i think hes more interested in like… yknow, my hot bod, than me. its whatever tho. and tim just being SOOOOO mad that someone would date kon and not absolutely adore him. tim will not be unpacking why hes so mad about kon having a shitty boyfriend. obviously its just bc kons his bestie and deserves better. (😶)

so he's just grouchily tinkering on some upgrade for his car to get the grumpy energies out. like WHATEVER! (angrily turns socket wrench) he's not saying kon should dump the guy or anything (angrily turns socket wrench) but he's just SAYING, kon can do BETTER!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) and kon DESERVES better!!! kon deserves someone who will treat him RIGHT!!!!! (angrily turns socket wrench) like if TIM was gonna fuck kon he wouldn't do it like a goddamn quickie and just fucking leave (angrily grabs the next size socket and scoots further under the car) like kon OBVIOUSLY doesn't like that so why won't this guy GET THAT!!!! (angry tinkering noises) if he's that shallow he can go find himself a sexy body pillow to screw!!! leave kon alone!!!!

and cassie sitting on a chair nearby is just like. sorry what was that? "if i was gonna fuck kon"? did you just say--hey tim? hey. can you go back a step?

and tim's just. obviously this is a hypothetical everyone considers about kon. look at him he's . you know. besides, tim's just talking as his best friend who wants the best for him! ugh stop trying to read into it cassie, that's not the POINT--