#//loving that any and all harshness is now gone that hes confirmed that hes not leaving SOBS

[sergeantbarnessdoll]

Shy Girl Gone Dirty » Tyler Owens

Pairings: Boyfriend!Tyler Owens x Girlfriend/Shy!Reader

Summary: Tyler’s shy girl goes dirty.

Warnings: Smut (18+), language, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, fingering, female receiving, praise kink, pet names

A/N: I watched Hit Man the other day and the scene in the gif below inspired this.

Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.

Header made by @buckys-wintersoldier

GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creator.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞

“You’re home!�� You say softly, hugging your boyfriend.

“I’m home, darlin’.” Tyler confirms, hugging you tightly.

After a moment, he pulls back from the hug to kiss you passionately. It was a much needed kiss. He just got home from two days of tornado chasing.

“What’d you do while I was gone?” He asks, pulling away from your lips.

“Watched movies.” You answered. “One of the movies I watched, this guy is a hit man. He met this woman and ate her out on the kitchen counter.” You described it, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“So that’s what you do when I’m not home. You watch dirty movies.” He smirks down at you.

“N-No! I mean yes- not all the time!” You couldn’t answer properly due to yourself feeling embarrassed about it.

“I’m teasing you, baby.” He chuckles, patting your hip.

You want to recreate that sex scene with Tyler, but you weren’t sure how to ask him.

“I umm…” You felt your cheeks heat up before you could ask him. “I want to recreate it.” You say, fiddling with his shirt.

“You want me to eat you out on the kitchen counter?” Tyler asks, making sure he heard you right.

You nodded your head yes. Tyler bit his lip at the thought of it. He grabbed your hand, leading you to the kitchen.

“Take your shorts and panties off.” He demands.

You obeyed him and took both of them off in on go, letting them pool at your feet. You stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. Tyler then picked you up and placed you on the kitchen counter, pulling you to the edge of it so your ass was close to the edge.

“Are you sure this is what you want, sweetheart?” He asks, kissing your lips softly.

“Yes.” You muttered softly against his lips.

Once you confirmed it for him, his lips moved down to your neck, marking you up. He spread your legs so he can stand in between them. One of his hands found its way to your pussy, feeling how wet you are. His fingers smeared your slick around.

“So wet for me.” Tyler says against your neck.

You gasped lightly at his dirty words. His fingers rubbed your clit for a moment before he sunk down on his knees. His face was at the same level as your pussy. You instinctively put your legs over his shoulders. You shivered when you felt his breath fanning against your pussy.

You gasped loudly when Tyler’s tongue licked your folds. The tip of his tongue circled your clit, making you moan out in pleasure. Tyler smirks to himself, knowing how much you love it when he does that. His tongue circled your clit a few more times before he started eating you out like a starved man.

“Tyler!” You moaned, tilting your head back.

You moaning his name urged him on. You bucked your hips against his mouth when he unexpectedly gave your clit a harsh suck, which you quite enjoyed. His fingers found their way to your pussy. His fingertips teased your entrance, making you whine in frustration.

“Ty, don’t do that!” You whined.

“Don’t do what, sugar?” Tyler asks, being a tease.

“That!” You whined again when his fingertips teased your entrance again.

“Oh, you mean that.” He chuckles lightly.

You whined and nodded your head. Tyler slid two fingers in your pussy making your mouth fall open. He moved them at the same pace as his tongue flicking at your clit. Pleasure took over your body quickly. It felt like you were on cloud nine right now.

Usually, you’re very shy, but you managed to come out of your shell a little bit when you met Tyler. Tyler sure as hell knows this about you… you certainly aren’t shy when it comes to sex, but this right here, you asking him if you and him can recreate a sex scene from a movie is new for the both of you. He’s all for it. This is a whole new side of you that Tyler is now obsessed with. As of right now, all of the shyness left your body. Sluttiness took over you.

“F-Faster!” You stuttered through a moan.

Tyler moved his fingers faster in and out of your pussy. He continues the flicking motion with his tongue on your clit. His eyes flickered up at you, watching your chest rise and fall as you breathed heavily. He caught sight of your nipples poking through your -his- shirt. His free hand found its way when your -his- shirt, sliding his hand up your stomach to your breasts. He gave one of your nipples a pinch, causing you to gasp out loud. He then cupped one of your breasts, leaving it there just to hold onto it.

Your back arched in pleasure when his fingers hit your sweet spot when he curled them right into it. You pussy clenched around his fingers. His name fell from your lips in a loud moan. The sound of his name coming from your lips went straight to his cock, making it uncomfortably hard in his jeans. He didn’t seem to care about it in the moment. He wanted to take care of your needs first. Tyler always takes your pleasure seriously. He also likes it when you cum first.

“Yes, fuck!” You moaned. “Please don’t stop, Ty!” You moaned again.

“I’m not going to, sweetheart.” Tyler says against your pussy.

The more his tongue flicked at your clit and his fingers fucked you made your legs began to shake. Your orgasm was coming faster than you’d like. You brought a hand down to his head, your fingers tugging on his hair. Tyler moaned against your pussy. He loves it when you tug on his hair when he eats you out.

“Ty, I’m- fuck! I’m gonna cum!” You moaned.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Give me everything you got.” He says huskily.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your mouth fell open. A pornographic moan left your lips as you came harder than ever before.

“That’s it. That’s a good girl.” Tyler praises.

Tyler’s fingers fucked you through your orgasm before coming to a slow stop. His tongue gave your clit a few more flicks before stopping. Your legs were shaking a little bit at this point. Tyler stood up straight. You felt your cheeks heat up when you seen that you soaked his face.

“Don’t get all shy on me now, darlin’.” Tyler chuckles. “The way I see it you have a slutty side of you.” He smirks.

“Not slutty.” You mumbled.

“Oh yea?” He chuckles again. “You asking me to recreate a sex scene from a movie isn’t slutty?” He asks.

You looked down, avoiding eye contact with him. He’s right and you know it. Tyler tilted your head up and he kissed you hungrily. You moaned against his lips.

“Looks like my shy girl has gone dirty.” Tyler says, pulling away from your lips to look at you.

You whined in response.

“I wanna see what else you have in that slutty little brain of yours.” He says, unbuckling his belt.

🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️

Glen Powell Characters Tags: @cevansbaby-dove @djs8891

-Bucky’s Doll

[chestersturniolo]

𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

fratboy!chris x fem!reader

part six

All parts linked here

Warnings; none

••••••••••••

The next two weeks slipped by in a blur. You couldn’t bring yourself to attend classes; every time you even thought about it, anxiety washed over you. It felt easier to hibernate, to avoid the world and everyone in it, especially Chris. y/f/n had been bringing papers and notes from your classes to you so you didn’t fall behind. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about how Chris had treated you. It was hard to reconcile the memory of the sweet, gentle guy you had spent that weekend with, laughing and talking late into the night, with the person he had become. It was as if he had completely transformed overnight.

The warmth of his smiles and the way he had looked at you made it difficult to understand how he could so easily dismiss you. The contrast between those moments of connection and the harsh words you’d overheard felt like whiplash.

You had been torturing yourself with what ifs.

what if i hadn’t gone upstairs with him?

what if i hadn’t ignored his reputation?

what if i didn’t lean in to kiss him? 

what if i didn’t let him take my virginity?

what if i wasn’t so fucking naive?

Overhearing Chris felt like a confirmation of all the doubts you ignored in your mind. It was just another meaningless night for him. But for you it was everything. 

~

One afternoon, you were hunched over a textbook, scribbling notes in a desperate attempt to catch up, when suddenly there was a pounding at your door. With a sigh, you dragged yourself up to answer it.

When you opened the door, there stood Chris, his eyes teary and bloodshot. Your heart raced at the sight of him, and your instinct was to slam the door shut right in his face. Just as you began to close it, he pressed his hand against the door, stopping it with a desperate urgency.

“Please, just let me talk” he pleaded, his voice shaky. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, and something in his demeanor made you hesitate.

“y/n I’m so sorry for how I treated you-” he continued, his words tumbling out. “-that night meant more to me than I ever expected. I started to feel things I don’t usually feel, and it scared me. I didn’t know how to handle it”

You stood there, unsure of how to feel as you stared back at him. 

Chris took a deep breath, his voice trembling as he continued. “I know I messed up. I was trying to play it cool in front of my friends, but I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I didn’t realize how much I liked being with you until after it was over-“

He ran a hand through his messy hair before stepping closer, his expression desperate. 

“I never wanted to hurt you, and I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I don’t care. You mean more to me than I let on, and I’m so fucking sorry” he rambles, voice cracking 

He paused, searching your eyes for any sign of understanding. 

“Please, forgive me?”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N; anddd that’s all (for now👀) , what possessed me to write that many parts and post them all at once i DO not know but it made sense to if im showing the request that gives away the story line ya know? had to be done✨ thankyou for readinggg loves!!!

- 𝑺𝒂𝒈𝒆 ♡

tysm @monroesturnns for the request ilysm!!

MASTERLIST

taglist;

@sturnobsessedwh0re @nayveetbhh @phone4pills @demzzz @dripgodnay

@sturniooolos @monroesturnns @mattsbitchh @slutforsturnioloss @pvssychicken @tsturniolo4 

@brianna-grace12 @blahbel668 @stvrlighht @witchofthehour @ilyttmatsa @asherrisrandom

[stardusksx]

ೀ⋆｡ ˚ TIME TO BEGIN AGAIN remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: after the death of lily & james, reader and remus navigate their broken relationship while raising harry potter.

gif not mine, credits to the creator <3

warning: sad & angsty but there is a happy ending! idiots in love?? talks of death and grief, past miscommunication, hurt/comfort, friend to lovers, fade to black at the very end but nothing explicit!

( word count : 1.89k )

Silver moonlight bled through the windows, illuminating the tears on her cheeks and setting one-year-old Harry Potter’s eyes ablaze. He stared up at her, gaze wide like his small body had finally succumbed to the shock. She swayed back and forth to soothe him, her heart heavier than concrete, sound of his now silenced screams still ringing in her ears.

Down the hallway, she could hear muted voices. Albus Dumbledore's sombre words were incoherent to her, but she didn’t care what he was saying— what anyone was saying. She'd arrived a matter of fifteen minutes ago, burned under their sympathetic gazes, and fell apart at the confirmation of what she had hoped was a cruel, cruel, joke. Then her eyes had landed on midnight hair and a blue baby grow, the toddler squirming in Mcgonagall's arms as hysterical cries bellowed from his lungs. She’d taken him from her, cradled him close, and wordlessly walked down the hallway to Lily and James' vacant room.

She couldn’t whisper it’s okay, couldn’t get any words of reassurance out even if the infant was the only one who would be able to judge if they were truthful or not. It was like she hadn’t had air in her lungs since the phone call— it felt like nothing would be worth the effort it took to breathe again.

Lily and James were good. They were everything that a person should be, and they were gone.

“I’ve got you.” She managed to murmur, because she did— it was the one true thing she could say to offer comfort, “I promise.”

His head came to rest against her chest, and she could feel the stickiness of his drying tears against her skin. She was remembering the sorting hat placed over coppery hair, the sheepish expression on James’s face after he had accidentally hit her with a crumpled ball of paper— a note he’d been trying to get to Lily, who was sat obliviously beside her. They were so intertwined with every memory of those seven years at Hogwarts that she would never be able to think about her time there without thinking about them.

It had been the best era of her life, now forever tainted, like a spill of ink to pure water. She felt like she’d come crashing to earth after floating through antigravity.

There was shuffling in the hall, and her head snapped towards the doorway.

"Remus." She breathed, voice full of grief. The sight of him sent another wave of despair over her as more tears surfaced and spilled like rain against a window. He was dishevelled and clearly just pulled from sleep, but the redness of his glassy eyes as he stared at her for a frozen moment was enough to tell that he was in the same emotional turmoil she was. Her lip quivered before he finally strode towards her, wrapping his arms around them both. A sob was muffled into his shoulder, and she could feel his tears against the skin of her neck. They'd lost it all tonight.

"Oh god." His voice was raw, broken, as he said her name, "Oh god."

She didn’t know how long they held each other, but his arms were the only sense of reprieve she could find— like one of the million elastic bands around her heart had snapped away. She was scared to let go, scared that the one band would tighten around her again and squeeze until she gave out.

She hadn’t seen Remus since graduation. They’d had a stupid argument— stubborn colliding with stubborn, neither one of them wanting to admit to their wrongs. She had called him careless, stupid. It was harsh, but when she’d heard he was in the infirmary from a prank gone wrong, her panic had made her irrational. Why do you care so much? He had spat back when he realised she hadn’t been joking— when he realised she was actually mad. As soon as he’d said it, he really did feel stupid for instituting that she did care that deeply for him. For insinuating it like he didn’t want her to care, like he hadn’t been wishing for her to care like that since first year.

Well, forgive me, her last words to him had been, sarcastic and punctuated with a glare that she hoped would hide the way her heart was hurting, next time I’ll be sure to not give a fuck, Remus.

He’d felt too ashamed to approach her, and she’d felt too raw from the way it had been as if all her vulnerable feelings towards him had been forcefully exposed and thrown back at her with a sneer.

Come on, Sirius had said her name softly after it had been weeks, you know he didn’t mean it that way.

Then he shouldn’t have said it. She’d responded, shoving her papers into her bag and exiting the dining hall. He shouldn’t have said it like she didn’t have a right to care about him. Not when her heart had been in her throat at the sight of his bandages, voice wobbling when she’d asked if he was okay.

Yeah, he’d responded, having the nerve to grin, it was worth it for—

She was worked up. When Dorcas had come to get her, she’d made it out like he was on his deathbed. She’d been terrified. It was careless, Remus. Are you that stupid—

His eyes had widened in surprise, clearly not expecting her reaction. And so it had happened. They had said things they shouldn’t, then been too stubborn to fix it.

None of that mattered now. “He can’t go to Lily’s sister,” She said, “He just can’t.”

Remus pulled back from her, his hand gently caressing the side of Harry’s face. “He won’t,” he said firmly, “We’re his godparents, he goes to us.”

They had spoken to Dumbledore after they’d finally gotten the toddler to sleep, and the man’s features had pinched in concern. “You’d have to go into hiding,” He said, “He’ll be a target if they find out he’s still alive, as will you— if you aren’t already.”

“Whatever it takes.” She had responded, Remus nodding along.

They found themselves in the middle of nowhere. Some cottage hidden by country side trees while they waited out the war with the death eaters. Harry needed to be held most night, his cries an echo against the darkness after awakening from another nightmare.

She had nightmares too. So did Remus. They started off in separate rooms, but ended up in the same one for comfort. He held her, whispered assurances as they weathered the grief. She did the same for him.

Harry began walking, talking. They laughed again for the first time sitting on the kitchen floor, legs forming a diamond as the little boy attempted to stumble between them. One step, two step. He’d collapsed into her arms, and she’d raised him into the air, their cheers making him squeal.

The way Remus looked at her then— it had made her feel like a schoolgirl again, like she was before all the loss. She had smiled at him, genuinely, then broke his gaze to continue praising Harry.

They took turns cooking. Reminisced. It was less painful to remember things together. Candle light would flicker on the kitchen table, and they’d talk for hours like they used to. Then they’d get into the same bed, sleep in each other's arms as rain pattered against the window.

It didn’t happen straight away. They were too busy with grief, with the hurts from that lingering argument they hadn’t talked about, but eventually, with time, came the healing. Came the capacity to remember what they’d toed the line at those few months before the end of their final year at Hogwarts.

She’d loved him for a long time. She doesn’t remember when she started, but she knows that she hadn’t stopped. Not even for a moment.

Remus? It was sometime in February, the common room empty as the clock struck one in the morning. The fire was spitting embers, tartan blankets draped over laps. You're my favourite thing to come of this, you know?

His head had snapped up from his parchment paper, eyes comically wide, w-what?

She’d grinned slightly at his bewilderment, out of all the things Hogwarts has given me, you're my favourite.

He’d spluttered, and she’d gathered up her homework and headed towards the stairs, tossing a night, Mooney, over her shoulders like she hadn’t left him short of breath. At the breakfast table the following morning, Sirius had been teasing him about something as she sat down. He’d been flushed bright red, swatting the other boy's hands away and harshly whispering to stop it. Sirius had smirked at her, raised his eyebrows suggestively, and she’d told him to sod off with a poor attempt at concealing a smile.

“You're still my favourite.” She says, late into the night as her hands are deep in dish water. Remus freezes, rag hovering over the counters he was polishing. When his head turned to look at her, his eyes were as wide as they had been the last time. She smiles, “You always will be.”

He stares at her, grip on the cloth loosing, before his arm completely falls slack at his side. He takes in a breath, there’s another beat, and he does something he regretted not doing the last time.

With two strides, his hands cradle her face, and he pulls her towards him. Moonlight illuminates them, silver streamers through the kitchen window, and he kisses her like he was always meant to. Her hands fly to his waist, to his shoulders, and she melts into him as if her very bones were liquidated and seeking to be moulded permanently against his shape.

“I love you,” He says it like a promise, “Always. With everything I have.”

The words linger between mingled breaths, chests rising and falling against each other. “You’re my world, Remus. You and Harry. I don’t need anything else but this.”

He takes her hands between them, brings them to his lips. “You have me. I don’t want to be anywhere that you aren’t.”

They crash together again, years and years of unsaid things melded into their movements. They become a tangle of limbs in a bed they’d shared for months now, skin against skin and a shared pleasure that rolled over them like liquid gold.

It should feel wrong— hiding away in this cottage, raising the child of their murdered best friends, praying for the end of a war. But little by little, life begins to take a shape again, starts to feel like there is certainty and purpose. Here with Remus, with Harry, the effort it takes to breathe, to continue, is entirely worth it.

[chthonia27]

A game of cat and mouse.

Dick Grayson x F!reader.

Content: A secret admirer’s love knows no bounds.

Word count: 1.2k

The city lights shone brilliantly in the dark of night, perched on a rooftop was the ex boy wonder, Nightwing. The harsh wind of winter blew in his hair, messing the strands of onyx out of their rightful place. He looked down to his escrima sticks, twirling it in one of his hands before gazing out to the city once more. It was nothing new, he thought. As much as he adored doing what he did, he couldn’t deny it was rather tiresome most nights, and as skilled as he was, he was always subjected to a few injuries at best. He wiped the dried blood from his lip, graciously given to him from the previous wannabe villain gang. He couldn’t help but grimace at the thought, so many criminals were emerging from seemingly no where, with no real motive other than wanting to be thorns at his side.

Once more, he swung into action. Slithering in and melting into the shadows, stealthily taking out any targets presented. He knew he should be focusing, knew he shouldn’t be distracted, but all he could think about was her. The newest member of the Young justice, the most stunning woman he’d ever met, plagued his mind frequently. Her beauty was that of a siren, her voice the sweetest melody he’d been blessed to hear, and her eyes. Oh her eyes. He would dream of gazing into them during some not to innocent moments. He adored her, loved her even. She was perfect in his eyes, a dream turned reality for him. Not even the endless teasing from his teammates could deter him from clinging onto her, hovering around her whenever he could despite her protests. She was a bit of a loner, charismatic and seductive, yes. But she often chose to isolate herself whenever possible. Whether that was after missions, during patrols or during team building missions. So! He had to improvise somehow, right? He couldn’t ever get more than a few words out of her, usually laced with snark and sarcasm. It was a game to him, multiple bouquets of flowers stuffing her room, to lavish jewels, beautiful hand written love letters to trinkets he believed she’d indulge in. He never signed a name to his gifts, having to stifle a laugh and play coy whenever he’d catch wind of her frustration with her mystery gift giver.

But alas, he couldn’t afford to be thinking about her. Not while he was currently dodging bullets and taking down men left and right. It was a constant, vicious cycle. One he’d been tangled with his entire life. Always having to perform, however that translated to. Circus or battlefield, it was draining regardless. Gods knew he deserved a break, a long vacation with the holder of his heart in a far away paradise. A man could dream. Soon enough, he finished his patrol gracefully, with many criminals that roamed the streets of Gotham now behind bars. Dick grappled back to Mount justice, entering the cave with haste, his eyes searching for her. He entered the common room, where his team was situated. Friends he’d fought with almost all of his teenage years, people for whom he’d led and supported. That’s besides the point, they aren’t the main focus currently. Prior to returning, he’d managed the energy to buy another gift. An ethereal set of diamond necklaces, adorned with pearls that sat snug between the stones. A pretty red ribbon to secure the jewellery box and he was set! Admittedly, he’d spent many thousands on her, and this little habit of his has only started two weeks ago. Had he gone overboard? Of course not! How else would he acquire the love of such a beauty? He called out to his team, “Evening, guys!”, leaving the room before anyone could respond. Tiptoeing around the cave, he reached her room. Leaning his head against the door, he listened for any sounds or presence of life on the room, smirking victoriously when he confirmed she wasn’t inside. He set her gift on her bed and took in her space. Her room reeked of goth, the tall black canopy bed with intricate engravings, the velvet black curtain drape of the bed adding a sense of both privacy and comfort. Her furniture vintage and Victorian looking, and candles accompanied by roses adorned every surface in view. So elegant, so her. Taking a rose, he placed it on top of the jewellery box, once more given with an unsigned identity. Sneaking out of her room, he went about his own nightly routine, showering and dressing himself before doing his hair. Always well kept, especially in her presence. It was rather cute, really. How he’d try to impress her every way possible, always so put together for her. Entering the kitchen, he took out many ingredients and began cooking, taking advantage that most teammates were now preparing to enter the night’s embrace, leaving the only two insomniacs alone. A romantic dinner, for a hopeless romantic.

While he worked on dinner for the two, a nightly routine for the night owls, he hummed softly. His favourite part of the day, coming home and being able to spend time with her, wether he was the one cooking or not, her presence was enough to satiate the longing in his heart. Most of the time. Like clock work, she emerged from her room and graced Dick with her presence. Her stunning hair wet from her shower, and an almost tired look in her gorgeous eyes. His breath hitched when he caught sight of her. She belonged in a painting, he was sure of it.

“What’s on the menu tonight, master Grayson?”, she teased with a smirk that sent shivers of lust down his spine. “Carbonara, doll.”, his smooth voice rung out easily. She hummed in acknowledgment and sat down on the kitchen stool, chin in hand as she watched the man work. She had to admit, he was a sight for sore eyes. Muscles rippling under his shirt, his hair messily attractive after his bath, and his cologne wafting through the kitchen subtly in a way that almost made her want to kiss and mark him. Almost. But there was another pressing matter at hand, one she’d been dying to figure out.

“Dick.”

“Yes?”

“Is it you?”

Now that caught him off guard. Did she know? Had she seen through his attempts at secrecy? “Is what me?”, he said nonchalantly, a skill he’d adapted over many years living alongside his brothers. “The gifts. Is it you?”, her voice firm yet quiet. “I don’t know what you’re referring to, doll. You’ve been receiving gifts? Should I be jealous?”, he casually shot back as a smirk tugged at his lips and sighed internally as she seemed to have bought it. He prepared her plate, giving her a generous amount of the food he’d made, and sat a wine glass down next to it, pouring only the finest wine he’d come across. A perk of being adopted by a billionaire, he supposed. Being able to decipher and build upon an extensive knowledge of the most refined beverages.

“Cheers, love.”

My very first writing piece! Please let me know what you think or anything that could be improved! I hope you’ve enjoyed! :3

[benedictscanvas]

filling an empty vase - roy kent x reader

pairing: roy kent x reader

word count: 3.4k (genuinely don't know how that happened)

warnings: language (duh) and some suggestive themes. the word shagging, which is too british not to include i'm afraid

a/n: this was an anonymous request that i'm not going to put here because it kinda ruins the whole plot! but it was such a fabulous request, so thank you anon, for giving me so much space to play. if you're not sure this is your request, you mentioned "Mr I Never Smile Kent" which funnily enough, made me smile!! enjoy sunflowers <3

---

You were such a professional in so many ways, but yet again you found your focus drifting during your meeting with the rest of the coaches. Your eyes find Roy’s face with such ease, lingering on the newly thicker beard he’s been sporting recently, then travelling down to broad shoulders, ones that fill out the door frame so nicely when he folds his arms. You’re so lucky he’s always folding his arms.

Before you can move onto admiring those arms, you see his head turn towards you and you look away before you can be caught. Instead of glancing at his face to see if he’s still looking at you, you decide it’s easier to join the conversation. As the goalkeeping coach, there isn’t always much you can contribute to these discussions, but they’re very insistent on including you.

“The only thing you need to be careful of is their counter-press,” you chime in, “Mind that the boys don’t get complacent in possession or my guy will be a sitting duck out there.”

“Good thinkin, Abe Lincoln. Why don’t we add that to our pre-game talk, coach, make sure someone’s watchin’ Zoreaux’s back at all times?”

“Already writing it down, coach,” Beard replied, gaining a double thumbs up from Ted who then continued talking. Even though you’d hardly been listening, you knew to do enough research beforehand so that you were free to let your mind wander and only speak up with a few key points.

You tune back in when you recognise the gruff tone of the very man you’re trying not to admire again.

“No. Y/N stole my fucking thing. I’ve gone over the rest in training,” he says dryly, and you duck your head to your lap to hide your smirk. Of course the two of you were on the same page about strategy, you always were. Usually he got to say it before you though, “Can we go now?”

“Unless anyone’s got anythin’ they want to add?” Ted looks around at everyone’s blank and frankly, very tired faces, “Not even somethin’ personal? Deep dark secret? Scandalous love affair, that kinda thing? Higgins, you look like there’s somethin’ right on the tip of that tongue.”

“I’m leaving,” Roy announced, walking into his office and shutting the door, even going so far as to shut the blinds on both windows before he presumably sat at his desk. You sighed and got up from your perch on the desk to take a step towards the dressing room.

“Afraid I’ve got some work to get done before I go home too,” you say, trying to be at least slightly nicer than Roy about it, “We can get personal tomorrow, alright Ted?”

He agrees with a happy grin on his face and you say goodbye to him, Beard and Trent collectively with a salute before turning on your heel and waving a goodbye to any of the team still around as you leave. You don’t go far. Unable to help yourself, you knock on Roy’s office door from the other side and shuffle your weight between your feet as you wait.

“Fuck off,” comes the greeting, so you open the door and slip inside.

“Even if it’s me?”

His head turns at the sound of your voice and suddenly his features look a special kind of soft, even in the harsh overhead lighting. He swivels his chair fully to face you, but makes no other move.

“Especially if it’s you,” he confirms, folding his arms again like he knew the effect he had on you, “You’re a fucking pervert.”

You gasp, clutching at the door handle behind you in a show of shock.

“I’m a what?”

“You heard me. Staring at me like you do in meetings wasn’t in your job description when we hired you, last I checked.”

“Last I checked, shagging your goalkeeping coach wasn’t in your job description, but you made pretty quick work of it.”

That was enough to get him moving. He’s quick out of his chair for a man with a bad knee, quick to crowd you against the wall just next to the door. Someone would have to really peer in to see the two of you, something he’d probably calculated even though your mind was already blank at the new proximity. 

“You’re right,” he says, voice sinfully low, hands either side of your hips but not touching you yet, “And I was staring at you the whole fucking meeting anyway, so I’m a pervert and a hypocrite.”

“Well, I don’t know if I can keep on with you if you’re both. One of them, maybe I can look past it, but both?”

Finally, one hand comes off the wall to stroke a line down your side with the backs of his knuckles. You try not to give him the satisfaction of shivering, but fail miserably.

“Think you can brave it?” he murmurs, that same hand brushing along your cheekbone, still all rough knuckles instead of his palm, “I’ll take you to Big Tesco later.”

Your whole face brightens despite the heavy tension that had settled like a mist in the room. You reach up to gently hold his wrist, stroking a thumb back and forth over the pulse that jumped there.

“Shit, you know the way to a girl’s heart, Kent,” you whisper, syrupy and cloying, “I take it all back. We can go as long as you like.”

The innuendo drew the growl from him that you’d been hoping for. The hand at your cheek was quick to turn until he was cupping your face and pulling you into him, kissing you deep and slow and longingly. Each kiss with him was better than the last. Yes, it had started hot and desperate after a month of unbearable electricity between you, a rushed encounter at a hotel after a particularly adrenaline-filled away game. 

Ever since, Roy had slowed things down. Not in the way you’d perhaps expected - he was still hot and heavy whenever the two of you got the chance, but he was taking his time with you. Teasing and learning. Nobody had ever treated you like this before, like you were something to be revered. Worshipped.

It was the same now, as he anchored himself with a hand on your back, pulling you further in, kissing you with genuine hunger.

“Roy? Can I come and get my stuff.”

Trent. It was always Trent. You liked the man so much, spent a lot of time with him, in fact, but if he interrupted you and Roy one more time, you had half a mind to hide his manuscript or something.

Roy did his special silent groan that he did whenever he couldn’t groan aloud, where he glared at the ceiling as he broke away from you and then clenched his fists in front of him. It was adorable, not that you would tell him that.

“All good,” you whisper, despite it definitely not being all good. It was entirely a joint decision not to tell the team about the two of you yet, but sometimes you wished you could announce it to the whole fucking world if it would get you some alone time.

You squeeze his hand and slip away to the adjoining door between his and Ted’s office. You hear Roy grunt for Ted to come in behind you, but you squeeze through into the other room before you hear any more of their inevitably one-sided conversation. Ted turns to you brightly as you enter.

“Decided you wanted to get personal sooner, Y/N?” he grins, and you can tell he isn’t really serious.

“Just forgot my keys,” you said sheepishly, retrieving them from the desk where you’d left them completely on purpose. It was always good to have a back-up plan and Roy wasn’t the only quick thinker between you, “See you tomorrow, Coach.”

“Can’t wait, coach!”

As you exit for real this time, glancing into Roy’s office as you pass, you take out your phone to shoot him a text. You’re saved under an unassuming name in his phone, so even if Trent sees it, he’ll be none the wiser.

We’re still on for tonight, right? The way I navigate a Big Tesco will blow your mind x

You press send with a smile to yourself, continuing on towards your office to pack up for the evening. Your phone buzzes before you even get there.

You blow my mind every fucking day. See you soon x

God, you could clutch your phone to your chest and squeal in the corridor, but instead, you speed up your walk to get home as quickly as possible. There was no harm in getting all dressed up to go to the supermarket when you were going with an insanely fit professional footballer, you reasoned.

---

Big Tesco. The place dreams are made of, or at least it was when you were younger and felt like you could get lost in the aisles and never return. Nowadays, it was likely nostalgia that kept you coming back, but it still felt like your first Big Tesco trip with Roy was a pretty big deal.

Mainly you needed snacks for movie night, but Roy was happy to indulge you and drive twenty minutes away for this if that’s what you wanted.

“If we’re doing Julia Roberts, we have to do Pretty Woman, obviously.”

“And Erin fucking Brockovich,” Roy agreed, “But if we do Sandra Bullock, we get the modern day masterpiece that is Miss Congeniality.”

“Oh, I still need to see that one!”

Roy stops, Pringles tube hovering above the trolley. He looks at you like he’s seeing you for the first time and he doesn’t like what he sees.

“Right, we’re doing Bullock then, if I have to fucking culture you as well as buy your snacks.”

“We’re splitting the snacks-”

“The fuck we are,” he cut in, already contradicting himself, “I was fucking joking, please can we not get into another snack debate. You bought them last time.”

“Fine. And I’m happy with Sandy, too, so you win twice, buddy,” you grin at him, not expecting him to grin back but ecstatic when he does. You have half a mind to press him up against the Doritos and finish what you’d started earlier, but you have plenty of time for that in appropriate places later.

You had all night, in fact, post-Sandra Bullock marathon. The thought brings a particular movie to mind.

“As long as we throw Two Weeks Notice in there too.”

“Hugh Grant? No.”

“Oh come on, he’s a national treasure,” you argue, sliding your arm through his as the two of you continue your journey through the aisles.

“He’s a fucking idiot, is what he is,” Roy bites back, as he picks up the chocolate he knows you love, “I’ll allow The Proposal.”

“You know what, that’s a better choice anyway. We have a deal if we can make a stop in the homeware section after this?” you say hopefully, excited when he sighs and nods. You kiss his shoulder as you continue walking, “We’re so fucking good at this compromising shit!”

You lean away from him enough to hold your hand up for a high five. He indulges you reluctantly with a light slap from his own.

“We are. It’s cause I’m so fucking nice.”

“To me,” you add, staring up at him as he slows the trolley to a stop beside the biscuits. He takes your face in his hands after a moment.

“To you, yeah,” he agrees, voice all soft like it had been earlier. You’re not going to kiss him senseless in a supermarket, the two of you had some shame and a lot of love for privacy, but it was nice to indulge in something like this, a sweet moment shared without fear of anyone seeing the two of you. You turn your head to kiss his palm, “You’ve sent me all fucking soft.”

“You love it.”

“Love you, more like,” he says, for the first fucking time, in a Big Tesco. You’d found out you were getting a party bus for your 10th birthday here too, so it was a location for big occasions. You kiss his palm; once, twice, three times.

“You have to say the I or it doesn’t mean anything,” you tease, but you’re beaming up at him as he strokes the skin underneath your eyes and you almost let them flutter shut.

“Who fucking told you that? Sounds like shit Jamie would say.”

“Jan Maas.”

“Fucking prick,” he says, then a moment later, “I love you, then, if you fucking insist.”

“I do insist,” you giggle, leaning forward until your face is in his chest so you can safely say: “I love you too.”

Its a little muffled, but thankfully he doesn’t ask you to repeat it again like you think he will. He just wraps his arms around your shoulders and keeps you close to him for a long while.

“Roy? Hey boyo!!”

You freeze in place, face still hidden. If anything, Roy’s arms tighten around you rather than letting go as he turns to see Colin waving at him, alongside Sam, Isaac, Jamie and the aforementioned Jan Maas. They all pile over towards him and you know its a matter of time before they realise its you. Jamie’s already bounding over as if he’s won the lottery.

“Roy’s got a girl! A real woman, like!” Jamie exclaims as he reaches them and you decide to get this over with sooner than later, lifting your head to stare at him wearily. He frowns, “Oh. Y/N, hiya.”

Of course he isn’t connecting any dots. He isn’t quite the connecting type, however much you love him to little pieces. Sam is staring at you a lot more knowingly, Isaac stuck with his mouth open. They’ve all caught on a little quicker than Jamie.

“The two of you together,” Jan muses, “I do not believe this is a pairing made to last.”

“Oi, Jan Maas,” Isaac pipes up, especially as Roy’s already stepped forward to threaten him, “Not cool.”

“I am just telling you the truth. You are both a little grumpy, you will not have the needed balance.”

“We’re balancing perfectly fucking well, thank you,” Roy says, and you can hear that he’s gritting his teeth, “As a team. Of coaches. Because that’s what we fucking are.”

Oh, he was going to play the ‘it wasn’t what it looked like’ card? You weren’t expecting it, but you’d happily back him up if he wanted you to.

“You are telling me that was a friend hug?” Sam asks, voice full of disbelief. You look up at Roy to see what he’ll say to that, but he’s already looking down at you with an untraceable look on his face. When he finally looks back at the boys, he takes your hand in his.

“No. It was a fucking boyfriend-girlfriend hug, alright? Any of you tell anyone before we do and I’ll feed you to a fucking monitor lizard.”

You’d watched a documentary about them last night that had likely led to that threat. Jamie’s snickering but tries to sober up when Roy immediately turns to him. He holds his hands up in surrender.

“I’m sorry mate, I am, I’ve jus’ never heard a grown man say ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ before,” he says, back to giggling by the end of his sentence and Jan Maas is quick to dissolve into full blown laughter. You bring a hand up to your mouth to hide your own amusement, lest Roy feel betrayed by it.

“Right, fuck off and leave us alone then. We’re on a tight fucking movie night schedule and I won’t have you twats throwing us off.”

“Hey! That’s why we’re here! If we’re all doing movie night, why don’t you join us?” Sam asks, and you can see he’s teasing even if Roy can’t tell. Still, you take it as an opportunity to stake your claim as you wrap an arm around Roy’s bicep and cling to him.

“Look, you lot hog this man all day every day. I’m taking him home and we’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

It was very Roy of you, just with the addition of a wink at the end that told the boys you were half-joking. Jamie seemed almost impressed, while Sam was trying not to laugh at you. That man never took you seriously, and you loved it.

“We’ll leave you to it then,” Isaac decided, dragging Jamie backwards a little by the collar when he opened his mouth to tease Roy one final time, “Enjoy your night, yeah? See you tomorrow.”

Roy grunted his goodbye, but you waved back at them when they waved, mostly at you. Jamie mouthed something at Roy but, luckily for you both, Roy couldn’t work it out.

“Pricks,” he mutters once they’re far away enough not to hear him and you let out a little snort.

“They were very nice about that, you know? I was expecting a lot worse,” you said, pleasantly surprised at the lack of proper teasing. You knew there was likely more to come once they’d had a while to process it, but still. There was a certain weight lifted knowing that someone had finally been told.

“Do people not say boyfriend-girlfriend anymore?” he asks abruptly, looking down at you from where you’re still clinging to him. You grin at up at him.

“We should bring it back. I love boyfriend-girlfriend. I think that’s how we should introduce ourselves to people from now on.”

He rolled his eyes at the sarcasm in your voice, but tugged you into a quick, public appropriate kiss nonetheless.

“Let’s get you some fucking hobnobs and then we can go and look at fancy glassware, yeah?,” he announces, shaking his head with such obvious fondness when you cheer and turn to the biscuits. He stays close, a hand hovering near your back, and you’re a little worried movie night might be forgotten when you get home given how handsy the two of you have been all day. You resume your shopping tucked into his side, and only bump into the boys twice more on your trip around the wonders of Big Tesco.

Later, when you’re eventually curled into Roy’s side during a movie night that started way later than intended, your phone buzzes a few too many times in a row to ignore. You glance at Roy quizzically as you grab it, seeing a bunch of texts coming in from Sam.

Couldn’t resist. Don’t let Roy hate me. I’ve deleted them on my phone now, so they’re just yours. Lunch tomorrow?

Roy grumbled a little beside you as he read over your shoulder, but really he should have gotten used to your occasional lunch plans with Sam by now, even if he liked having you all to himself for at least one hour during the day. You settle into him even more as you scroll through a bunch of photos Sam’s attached with wide eyes.

You staring up at Roy. Roy kissing you. The grins on both your faces when you part. Then one that has you reeling, where you’re facing the biscuits with your hands on your hips and Roy is looking at you. Enthralled. You’re not even fucking doing anything.

“That little shit,” Roy breathes, squeezing your thigh where his hand was already resting.

“I love them,” you say instead of responding, tilting your head back to look at Roy, “Our first proper photos together.”

“They look like a fucking pap took them,” he complains, but he's still studying them and you can tell he likes them really.

“Look how happy we look," you’re stuck on how he looks at you when you’re not even looking at him. When there’s nothing to be gained from it. You glance at the new vase sitting on your coffee table, with fresh flowers Roy had insisted on because 'if we're getting a fucking vase we have to fucking fill it'. Here he was, filling your life with so many little pieces of joy.

“Well we are fucking happy, aren’t we?”

There's a little bit of vulnerability in his question, like he needs confirmation. You lock your phone and toss it to the side, knowing you can reply to Sam in a bit. For now, you pause the movie and clamber to straddle Roy’s lap, seeing that look on his face again as he stares up at you. It only spurs you on.

“We’re very fucking happy, Roy.”

He grins, which is rare, but then he kisses you and that’s not rare at all.

(roy makes a mental note to thank sam for the pictures tomorrow, even if he tells him to do extra laps in the same sentence to maintain the balance)

[majoryeager104]

what about touya x a reader with family issues? you can choose what type of issues but they would understand each other so good ykkkkk butttt how would he found out if he didn’t know reader? i just love your touya content

thnx anonymous bestie and yess I love this idea 🫶🫶🫶

Summary: Touya gets into an argument with you, not realizing that he’d flesh out memories of your past. Warnings: language, toxic and abusive family traumas, angsty but it ends in a sweet way

a/n this is partially based off of my own experiences, but it was actually nice to write this, kinda helped me rant yk

“Do you realize how stupid that was!?”

“Im sorry”

Touya groaned in exasperation at your response, shoulders tense as the one sided argument rolled on. You’d nearly gotten hurt on a mission, again, and he had to swoop in and save you, again. He didn’t want to fight, but your apologetic deflections and blank expressions were making it harder for him to reach a conclusion. It was like you’d shut down under the pressure. It was worrying, not something he’d ever seen you do before, and it concerned him the way you loosely resembled some kind of abandoned puppy left in the cold. “Stop staring at me like that!” He snapped, rather loudly, biting his tongue as he saw you flinch, your eyes glassy as you nodded, blinking slightly as you attempted to look away, your eyes flickering back at him “please don’t yell, I’m s-“ you were cut off as he stepped towards you, grabbing your shoulders, a determined concern painted across his face. “Stop. Apologizing” he said sternly, his brows furrowed slightly as you managed a trembling nod, looking down to avoid his gaze. He sighed in defeat, all frustration now gone as he watched your tears fall from your now hidden eyes “Why are you crying?” He asked, softer this time, trying to coax you into decompression. You sighed, a shaky, shuddering breath, trying to calm your nerves “hey” he said, pulling you close, squeezing you against him “why’re you scared?” he asked quietly, rubbing you back as he rocked you back and forth, your trembling movements confirming his suspicions- you had looked like a deer in headlights because you essentially were one at that moment, but he couldn’t figure out why. Did he say something too harsh? Was it his face? Was that what scared you? Where was this coming from? After a few minutes, he got his answer, sitting next to you silently on the couch. Your parents had always been especially strict- you’d grown up knowing that anything you thought you had, they could take away. Privacy, friends, even your childhood toys, the few you had. And what was scarier than the way they’d treat the things you loved, was the way they’d treat you afterwards. Yelling, screaming, blaming and gaslighting to the point where you couldn’t handle any of it anymore. It was less of a physical abuse and more of a mental one, something you were yet to bounce back from. You’d shut down under this kind of pressure because you’d never known how to fight it, fawning under the mental torment of your fathers booming voice as he shouted over all your thoughts, leaving you frozen in place, and terrified. Or as Touya described, a deer in headlights. He sat and listened as you listed the isolated childhood you’d lived, how you’d never gotten to have friends, because every time you thought you had them, you’d be ripped back into the bubble of your parents idea of a firm well structured household. How they treated you like some type of soldier to be disciplined at 6, how they taught you to be “mature” by burning away any semblance of childlike wonder you had left at 7, how they belittled you into being “respectful” by resorting to shouting at you when you talked too often in public at 8, taking your stuffed dog, the only toy you had left at that point, and burning it in front of you to punish you for having the audacity to try and talk back at 9, making you into less of a person, and more of a mouse, if anything.

It sort of reminded him of his own traumas- the back and forth of Enjis affections, how he’d praise Touya one moment, and toss him aside the next. How Enji let him watch as Shoto took his place. How his punishments were of the same kind of isolation as your own. How he only had Natsuo to talk to, but even then he was left alone. Alone. That was it. You were both alone.

But he now supposed he was lucky, as now you had each other He nodded, holding you as he listened as you spoke- you were conditioned not to talk back, conditioned to crumble under the words of those who deemed themselves worthy of doing so, just because. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that…sorry, pretty” he said, pulling you closer, glad your tears were finally gone, your eyes still slightly pink, even in the dim light of the room as the two of you sat in silence for a moment

“you know…” Touya finally spoke up, finding something to say as you peered up at him, blinking in the low light. “…you don’t need to be scared of me…please don’t be…I’m not gonna do that shit to you, you know that?” You were silent for a moment as you watched him, his mouth opening again as he fully collected his thoughts “its okay though…you know how my childhood went…guess we’re both traumatized huh?” He chuckled, playing with your hair. “We were both just kids conditioned to be walked all over… so I know how you feel… I won’t yell at you like that again, I promise.” He smiled softly, pulling you impossibly closer. He couldn’t help but feel bad for how he’d put you through that, but he also couldn’t help but be glad he’d pulled you back from it. The way you bounced back from that suppressed fear made him hopeful- like maybe you wouldn’t have to fear it anymore, and maybe he’d be able to help you get to that point…or maybe that one day he’d be able to do the same with his trauma too. But he settled in, pulling you closer on the small space of the couch, because that was a story for another time, and right now he owed you some make-up cuddles.

(Man trauma dumping through fanfiction is peak 👌😌 and Touya being perfect once again was also peak )

[soscarlett1twas]

Flight Home

↳ Andrew and Darling make their way back to London. ↳ 664 words

A month and a half. 46 days. That was how long Andrew had been abroad.

For a man who had never left the United Kingdom before, he took to travel quite easily. Darling joked about him being in “vacation mode” quite often, as he exchanged overcoats for tacky button-ups, glasses for contacts, and his usual demeanor of propriety for laxity. Andrew had gone off the deep end for their vacation.

And what a trip it was. The Caribbean, and each island which made it, was beautiful. They had run away and ended up in Wonderland.

But all good things must come to end.

As the plane moved down the runway, Darling shifted their headrest to place their head on it comfortably. They sat in the middle seat, pressed between Andrew, who had the window luxury, and a kind older woman who boarded before them. Andrew had offered his seat, but they declined. The flight home was for them to sleep.

He intended to sleep as well, of course — but island hopping and all the flying which accompanied it did not acquaint him well to airplanes. Only long into a flight, with a stagnant incline and smooth air, could Andrew find himself able to close his eyes for a few hours.

Darling’s hand laced into his, pressing lightly into his palm. He smiled as they closed their eyes, dropping limp into the seat, prepared to rest for the night.

After he whispered ‘goodnight’ and kissed their hand, he turned his attention back to the window. The harsh lights above them morphed to a more appropriate blue, darkening the internal cabin.

He watched the runaway lights as they became quicker and quicker, eventually forming into a singular line as the plane angled itself upwards. The takeoff was smooth, barely a jolt, taking them into the air.

Beating air silenced any other sound as the airport became small beneath them, its surrounding trees becoming shrubs as they furthered the incline.

Jamaica — their final destination, and now their waypoint before home — had their airport on the coast. So water, in its clean, cerulean colors that struck Andrew, a regular viewer of the Thames, as heavenly, quickly exchanged the concrete scenery. He watched it fade beneath them with fondness. London had many things. Clean water was not one of them.

When he turned his attention to the landscape however, his reverie lapped into his throat, making it feel hollow with emotion he couldn’t describe. Constellations of lights painted the ever-distant island, marking exactly where each city was, swaths of dark forests between them. Winding roads around the shoreline were trailed by sparkles, not unlike the runway. Cars moved to a steady pace along them.

And Andrew realized how much he had missed this.

Escaping was what he dreamed of. Still, he clung to it, his eyes holding onto the island as it got smaller, his neck hurting from craning to watch the window. But for all the love he had for him and Darling’s adventures, for all their memories made, it was the familiarity of home that kept him glued to the sight.

As Jamaica departed from his view, he turned to face, back straight, the seat in front of him. Darling’s eyes remained shut.

Andrew squeezed their palm, and their weak return confirmed their fatigue.

He watched them, a sight unable to be taken from him — their lashes against their face, the curve of their lips, the crown of their head — and sunk into his own chair.

He loved their travels. He loved them, peacefully dozing away to whatever dreams. But, finally on track to returning, he could not help but crave the physical location of his life. The one he could confidently say was his, not a “vacation mode” spectacle of his chaste lust for adventure.

Andrew scoffed to himself, shaking his head, his glasses, finally saved from their case, slipping down his nose. Home. What an easy thing to hate. What an essential thing to desire.

[mistydeyes]

Mission gone wrong ?

Where reader and ghost are stuck in Oymyakon during winter,freezing in the snow waiting for backup?

ahhhh anon! thank you so much for this request!! i love the idea so much (like cmon who wouldn’t want to be stuck w simon in a cabin)

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summary: After the mission goes completely south, you and Ghost are left trudging through the wintery landscape of Oymyakon. When you finally arrive in the comfort of a secluded cabin, you two try to make light of the situation.

pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, violence

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"Just a little bit further," Ghost encouraged as you trudged through the meter-high snow. His voice echoed across the frozen landscape. As far as the eye could see, there were sparse trees coated in a heavy blanket of snow and ice. Getting away from the guns and snowmobiles was half the battle but now you were making the expedition to this fabled safe house. Out of all the missions you had with him, of course, this one had to go to absolute shit. "That's what you said 30 minutes ago," you mumbled, following in his large footprints. You had lost feeling in your lower extremities and you wondered how he could continue. With every step, you could feel pins and needles shoot through your sore body. Your breath felt harsh on your knitted balaclava and you secretly envied the many layers of fabric and silicone of Ghost's infamous mask. "If you quit complaining, it'll make the journey quicker," he said and you could tell the bastard had a smirk on his face. "God I hate Oymyakon."

Eventually, you could see a small cabin on the edge of your vision. "A mirage in the cold desert," you could hear Ghost joke and you picked up the pace. "Price did say this was isolated," you said through your chattering teeth, finally seeing the full picture of the home in arm's reach. You gripped the cold padlock in your gloved fingers and inputted the memorized set of coded numbers. Ghost shoved the iced-over door and gave way into the darkened, freezing cabin. "Home sweet home," you joked half-heartedly as you checked the bare-bones setup. Safe houses were all the same, only having the most simple of necessities and furnishings. As Ghost rummaged for a life-saving space heater, you looked through the cabinets to see if there were any food or hand warmers. The metal handle felt frigid on your fingertips and you saw two sizable mugs at home on the empty shelf.

"How romantic," Ghost said behind you and you jumped at the sudden baritone of his voice, "You gonna make us some tea?" You rolled your eyes at his typical British humor. "Maybe, if you got that space heater working," you replied and he gestured exaggeratedly to the small glowing machine that lit up the living room. "Speaks for itself," he smirked and you rolled your eyes before brushing past him to warm yourself. You took off your frozen boots and shook out your socks and jacket before you were left in your thermals under your gear. You could hear Ghost rummaging around in the adjacent bedroom before returning with two blankets. "No clothes but I do have these," he said and held up the flannel blankets. You nodded and he added his outerwear and gear next to yours.

As you sat wrapped in your blankets, you watched the snowfall and wind whip through the air. "If we weren't stuck here, this would actually be nice," you smiled as you stretched out your fingers in front of the space heater. "I got a cabin up in the Isle of Sky," he mentioned, "if we make it out of here, remind me to take you there." You beamed up at him and nodded eagerly at the offer. "That's in Scotland, right?" you asked and he let out a small grunt in confirmation. "This isn't some boy's cabin you and Soap share, right?" you questioned and he chuckled at the absurdity of the thought. "Fuckin' hell, I'd never," he swore, "just something I bought with a Lieutenant's salary." You thought for a moment before responding to his initial offer. "Well then, is that an offer for a romantic getaway, Lt?" you questioned and he quickly looked away from you. Despite the dim lighting of the room, you could see the subtle hint of pink on his ears. "Depends, hopefully evac gets here before we freeze to death." You shared a dry laugh as you continued to look out the window.

Before you knew it, the sun had set over the horizon and your body began to shut down from the day's events. You tried to suppress your yawn in your blanketed arm but Ghost noticed your small action. "You should sleep, there's one bed in the room over there," he gestured as you laughed softly. "Only one bed?" you smirked and you could almost hear his eye roll. "Not the time," he mumbled before he moved his hand in dismissal, "I'll keep the first watch." You got up slowly and dragged the blanket behind you. You reached the doorway and turned to him, wishing him a quiet goodnight. As you settled into the warm sheets, you turned to face the doorway and smiled as you saw Ghost perched over the small heater. If there was anything that was motivating you to survive, it was the potential to spend a weekend in a snowy cabin with Simon and no threat of danger.

[lovergirlll-12]

Homecoming Heartache

roommate!leon kennedy x fem!reader

summary: Your roommate, Leon, hasn't been answering your calls after travelling to Raccoon City. After days of an empty apartment and a head filled with worry, someone knocks on your front door.

warnings: hurt/comfort, depictions of injury

notes: Re2r Leon is honestly so fkn adorable, this is more platonic

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The apartment felt emptier than usual, the silence echoing off the bare walls. Without Leon’s awkward yet light-hearted personality, there was a void that seemed to swallow up the space. The colourful throw pillows on the couch seemed less vibrant, and the kitchen felt cold and unwelcoming without his laughter filling the room. Everything was just as he left it, yet it all felt strangely wrong, as if the apartment itself missed his presence.

You've been trying to reach Leon for days now, but every call goes unanswered. He left a few nights ago to start his new job as a cop in Raccoon City, you didn’t question when he didn’t answer your numerous calls after arriving. Presuming he was tired after his first day on the job, you figured you would get a call back from him in the morning. However, when days passed and all you got was radio silence, the worry you felt for your best friend started to grow. Call after call was sent to the authorities in your area, but you were met with reassurance that he was fine, and not to worry about him too much. Their carelessness was unnerving, and it confused you. You couldn’t shake off the worry that had been gnawing at you since he left. The unfamiliar surroundings of the new apartment felt even more uncomfortable without his presence. Every siren outside sends a pang of fear through you, wondering if it's something related to him. You try to stay rational, reminding yourself that he's trained for this, but the silence is deafening, and the unknown is unsettling.

~~~~~~~~~~

A knock on the door startles you. Eyes shooting open, you stretch your arms and legs out across the soft cotton bedsheets as your body tries to awaken itself from its deep sleep. You take a quick glance at the alarm clock beside your bed: 3:45am. The vast darkness consuming your apartment is ignored as you try to find your way out of your bedroom, through the hallway and to the front door without tripping on discarded clothing or any foreign objects. As you make your way to the front door, your hand finds the light switch to your left. With a quick flick, your apartment is illuminated, forcing your eyes to squint from the harsh light. As you rub at your eyes, still felling a bit disoriented from your lack of sleep, a chorus of aggravated knocks echo throughout the building. You step forward to unlock the door. ‘‘Alright I’m coming, you don’t have to be so impatient…’’ The sight at your front door silences you. Your heart instantly drops at the sight of Leon standing there, his normally vibrant eyes dulled with pain. His shirt is torn, revealing a bandage hastily wrapped around his torso, stained with blood. Small cuts litter his arms where bruises are already forming. You gasp, stepping back to let him in and closing the door behind him, your hands trembling as you reach out to touch him, confirming that he's real and safe, despite his injuries. The relief floods through you, mixed with a surge of protectiveness and love. Leon leans into your touch, wrapping his large arms around you, his exhaustion and pain evident, as you guide him to the couch, your mind is racing with questions and fears for what he must have gone through. You adjust your body so he can lay down comfortably above you as you run your hand up and down his back, trying to console his continuous tears. ‘‘It’s all gone’’, Leon whispers into your chest, his voice cracking. ‘‘They killed them all, they didn’t even try to save the innocent people. Let alone fix the others’’. Clouded with confusion, you decide not to question him. ‘‘Everything’s going to be okay, you’re home now,’’ you reply as you wiped the tears from his eyes with your thumb.

You couldn’t help but stare at his downcast face, never have you ever seen Leon look so broken. It took you months to get Leon to open up to you when you were first moving in. He was quiet and reserved, only speaking to you to say good morning or good night. Slowly, you two started to get closer. At first, his quiet demeanour made you wonder if conversation would always be sparse, but you soon discovered his sweetness and thoughtfulness. He was the type of person who would wash your dishes without being asked or leave little notes of encouragement around the apartment. Over time, you both developed a comfortable routine, sharing meals and watching movies together. His quiet nature didn't hinder your friendship; instead, it seemed to deepen it, creating a bond built on mutual respect and understanding. Leon became more than just a roommate; he became your best friend. Your Leon. ‘‘Why don’t we get you cleaned up and in bed?’’, you questioned while running your hands through his blonde hair. He nodded timidly as you helped him to his feet. His sunken eyes were filled with tears and his hand felt unsteady in yours.

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an: ignore any writing mistakes pls, this is my first post :) I might make a part 2 to go more into detail of the relationship between Leon and the reader and get past the platonic stage into some fluffy romance xx

[willowwispflame]

I love AUs where Shen Yuan transmigrates into someone who isn't Shen Qingqiu. The ones where he is some random, no name NPC are really good, but my favorites are when he transmigrates into a named, major character in SVSSS. People like Liu Qingge, Gongyi Xiao, Mu Qingfang, Liu Mingyan, and even Linguang-jun come to mind as popular examples.

One I haven't seen yet is an AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates into Yue Qingyuan. Yuan? Qingyuan? Why has no one made the connection and written about it! Well, maybe I'm the first, and now I'm thinking about it anyways.

Maybe Yue Qingyuan had a qi deviation reasonably early on, and the System slipped Shen Yuan in. Now, Shen Yuan knew very little about the connection between the first and second peak lords, and he hated Shen Qingqiu, so I think the only thing saving that guy from Shen Yuan's wrath is the OOC lock and people being wary after his qi deviation. He definitely does his best to get Luo Binghe away from his abuser asap, and he works to get Qing Jing reformed, too. Bullies are a no, no.

Speaking of, I don't think the differences in personality would be as noticeable to most of the sect as they were with Shen Qingqiu in canon. Yue Qingyuan and Shen Yuan are both quite kind, and I'm sure Shen Yuan would do better on the lack of restraint on showing kindness. I think the main two people who would notice a big difference would be Shen Qingqiu, who no longer gets as much special treatment from his Qi-ge, and Shang Qinghua, who wrote the man and knows things are off.

I think Shen Qingqiu would be irate at first with the new Yue Qingyuan. How dare he treat him the same, or worse, than any other peak lord! How dare he interfere with how Shen Qingqiu choses to run his peak. How dare he forget their shared history, forget to call him Xiao-Jiu. It's like he is a completely different person. He tries to confront Yue Qingyuan about it, and of course, his worst fears are confirmed when he confirms that he remembers nothing of their relationship, and really Shen-shidi, you need to treat your disciples better, or else there will be consequences. He has let Qing Jing stagnate for far too long, and a poor disciple had to be moved to a different peak because of how poorly he was being treated. This would probably send Shen Qingqiu into his own qi deviation, but he can't escape this life that easily. And this time, instead of Yue Qingyuan being by his bedside when he wakes up, like every other time that he had a bad qi deviation, it's just Mu Qingfang and Ming Fan. That's when he knows his Qi-ge is really gone, and he grieves for the loss. Not sure if he is successfully pushed towards being a better person through this.

I'm not sure where Luo Binghe would end up. I don't think that Shen Yuan would ever let the protagonist stay on Qing Jing after his OOC lock gets lifted, and he probably figures out a way to get him out even before then, but where does he put him? Qiong Ding? Bai Zhan? Qian Cao? Wan Jian? Lots of options. He would probably ask Binghe where he would rather be. I sort of like the idea of a Wan Jian disciple Luo Binghe, who is trained in a way that he has much better control over Xin Mo when the time comes.

With Shang Qinghua, I think the transmigrator reveal between those two would happen much earlier than in canon. I think Shang Qinghua has much more reason to interact with Yue Qingyuan in person, as he handles the sect logistics, so they would have way more opportunities to interact. Airplane-bro would be the first of the two to catch on this time, especially since he has a very good understanding of Yue Qingyuan's character and knows that the man would never be this harsh to Shen Qingqiu! He probably name drops PIDW subtly during a one on one meeting, and it all falls into place. I think that the cumplane duo has the opportunity to grow even closer than they are in canon, as they work together over the years to try and shift things for the better, especially under Shen Yuan's insistence that they can convince the System to be more lenient towards canon. With Yue Qingyuan already knowing all about Shang Qinghua's treachery, it is hard to justify keeping things the same.

Shang Qinghua ends up as a sort of double agent, which results in the Immortal Alliance Conference ending with much less bloodshed. Yue Qingyuan and Mobei-jun definitely end up fighting at some point, with Yue Qingyuan winning decisively because of how powerful he is. He spares the demon's life because that's his Airplane-bro's blorbo, and he ends up with a demonic subordinate. It's funny how that works. And when the Endless Abyss opens to swallow Luo Binghe, Mobei-jun is there to steal away the hidden heavenly demon prince and keep him safe as he trains.

Poor Airplane bro would have to explain Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu's past, and especially about Xuan Su. Of course, Shen Yuan doesn't have the same emotional connection with Shen Qingqiu that the original goods had, so he's still going to treat him the same as everyone else, but he will visit the man to clear things up and get a version of the story someone lived through instead of Airplane's jumbled summary.

Because I'm a dirty cumplane shipper, YQY!Cucumber and Shang Qinghua would be the winning ship in the end. I just like their relationship and shared past, alright! Yue Qingyuan finds Shang Qinghua's silly mask of weakness cute and admires the true intelligence behind his flailing, though he still gives him a hard time for writing this trashy novel. Shang Qinghua already had a tiny (huge) crush on Peerless Cucumber, and now he gets to interact with his favorite anti-fan every day! He admires the new Yue Qingyuan for working around the restrictions enforced on them to get a better ending, his kindness, how cold and powerful he can get dealing with baddies, and loves to be pushed around a little by him. He could have totally wrecked or thrown out Shang Qinghua and avoided the Endless Abyss plotline almost entirely, but he chose to work with him and chose to be his friend. So one evening, after a long day of working together on sect matters, they share a shy kiss. They work through Shen Yuan's self denial, and become the sect power couple.

This doesn't stop Shen Yuan's wife beam effects, and most of the peak lords, Luo Binghe, and even Mobei-jun end up with a crush on him at the very least. Even Shen Qingqiu, after a long process of becoming a better person, tries his best to get with the new Yue Qingyuan. I imagine he is much more forward than SY!SQQ, which would lead to some suitably awkward moments.

Yue Qingyuan's biggest personal struggle would be with not using his spiritual sword. He keeps being thrown into situations where he has to protect himself, and the sword is right there. Despite Mu Qingfang's warnings about running out his life expectancy, he keeps needing to use the sword, and that comes to a head at some point.

[hamptrmaeda]

ssee? nno scotland endeavours ttoday,,,

ssisgh,,, hhhwo did this happen humanmaeda,,? wwhat led 2 this,,

@nagito-komaeda428

I know I haven't been the best parent, but, ah... I wanted to tell you how much I care about you.

I love you, Maeda.

jjesus fuckcifng christ on a stsikc what onesrth prompted uto say somethdibg like thid to some1 lik maeda. wwhat happen,,, ppsuse,,, stsop the clcocks wwhat,,,,

[bedoballoons]

anyway you could do, them reacting to you wanting to break up? you can do whatever characters, i would just like Zhongli to be included. please, thank you!

Of course!! I hope you enjoy this and thank you so much for your request!

Genshin Men Headcanons:

~Them reacting to you wanting to break up~

CW: Angst! Lots of arguing, Begging you to stay and just general sad stuff!

(Includes: Zhongli, Alhaitham, Kazuha, Wanderer, and Xiao!)

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Zhongli:

Zhongli looked at you in disbelief, never in six-thousand years would he ever have expected this and now, he felt completely caught off guard...how would he continue? Every plan....every contract had been made with you in mind, he thought about you every second of every day...and by human standards he'd thought he'd done a excellent job at being your partner. He cleared his throat...his voice cracking as he started to speak, "May I ask why...? Surely...we can talk your decision over? If your reasoning for ending our relationship is because of me I'll do what I can to make myself more suitable for you. Please... reconsider...."

Alhaitham:

He stared at you, his eyes drained of any emotion they once had...his skin paler then you'd ever seen it, how...how could you do this to him? He barely ever trusted someone and you...you were the only person he'd ever let this close to him, now you didn't want him at all? "Very well...there's no point in being with someone if you don't like them anymore....just don't expect me to ever feel any way for you again. Or anyone else for that matter..." He sounded so hurt...his words harsh in your ears....

Kazuha:

His breathing seemed to stop...his heart hurting so much he thought it might be the end, he loved you more than anything else and considered you his soulmate...,what had changed? "O-oh..." He said quietly, he didn't have any words to say for once...it felt like any happy emotion had been drained away...he was loosing you and he didn't even know why. "Can...c-can we talk first? Please...p-please...maybe I can change your mind?" He attempted, his voice cracking at the end when he noticed you shaking your head.

Wanderer:

He couldn't move, it was like he was completely frozen in place, any colour was gone from his face and his hands were shaking at his sides. No...not again, he couldn't be abandoned again, not by you...not the one he loved, he had finally started to feel something other than anger and you were going to rip that all away...no this must be a joke. "T-this isn't funny...I don't like jokes like this." His words held so much fury...so much pain and suffering, he looked at you as he spoke...but you simply shook your head confirming this was real, making tears forming in his eyes."No...no you can't! I trusted you! I....I did what I was supposed to, I...I love you...like I've never loved anyone else! Please don't leave me...I don't want to be left again, especially not by you!"

Xiao:

Xiao stood silent, his bright yellow eyes searching your face for any sign this wasn't real, that this was some type of nightmare or sick joke, but he found nothing...you didn't want to be with him anymore...and that was the truth. "But... why? All I've done is cared for you...kept you safe and I thought...what we had, could last forever. I thought that I'd found someone I never knew I was looking for,...tell me what I did wrong. I'll do what I must to fix it..." He sounded desperate, pleading with you to give him a second chance but that just wasn't in the cards...

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✿Hope you have a good day!✿

[eddiediazismyhusband]

breathe friend you know tommy is bones in s8, he's not bucks endgame the reliable leaker has literally been clear about that. don't believe anything that psychopath on twitter says, she's literally insane.

oh trust me i don’t believe anything she says lmao

and i know the leaker said that about tommy but tbh that dont mean shit about whether or not they are actually going to fix any of the fuckery they pulled in s7

just because they are allegedly giving tommy the boot doesn’t mean they’re going to actually get their shit together and stop ship baiting us; so like i said until they actually start to give us any indication that they’re going to stop mistreating poc characters for cheap drama and that storylines are actually going to be thought out beforehand rather than thrown together because “ehh, this is good enough” i’m not going to be wasting my time. these shows are meant for entertainment. if i am not being entertained by what’s being done, why am i going to waste my energy on it?

i dont say this to sound snippy or rude, anon, and it is NOT directed at you specifically (and i really hope it doesn’t come across that way i am just bad at emoting through screens 😭😭), i promise, but sometimes it feels like people who try to “talk me off the ledge” in these anonymous asks don’t really look at what i’m actually saying and they jump to the conclusion that i’m just making shit up to panic about, but the fact of the matter is that everything i talked about in that post is something that could feasibly happen… all of buck’s love interests up to this point have not been narratively satisfying; developed or not. so even if tommy does end up going like the leaker said (again not getting my hopes up because things change at the drop of a hat in this business) that doesn’t mean they will actually follow through with queer eddie or that any other potential love interest for buck will be in any way narratively satisfying. i’m not saying i’m closing on buddie, because i will love them and ship them together when my body is six feet under, but after the burning dumpster that was s7 post the cruise ship arc, i don’t have the faith in tim that i had before.

at the end of the day, yes abc is a more accepting and inclusive studio, but it is still that: a studio. a corporation. a money maker. they don’t actually give a fuck about the fans. i have seen time and time again that these shows do this cat and mouse shit with a queer ship and then never follow through, even if one of the characters involved does end up being confirmed queer. maybe it was a little harsh to say that tim is only interested in money, but after how little thought and care he put into last season it’s hard not to feel like he actually cares about the fans who have stuck with this show since the beginning.

i’ve mentioned before that i have stuck with this show for seven years. i have shipped buddie since s2. i witnessed the s4 buildup and subsequent letdown in s5 and 6. I know that was not tim’s fault specifically, that KR and Fox both fucked the show over

but that does not mean that tim won’t also change his mind— we saw evidence of that last minute with all the rewrites that were happening post mid season hiatus with s7. he found out he’s getting another season so he changed the plot of 7b, and if they get a season 9, all the more reason to keep dragging the buddie bait hype along with now true intentions to follow through?

i reslly really reallly wanted to trust tim again especially after the potential he had with the shooting arc in s4, but sometimes it feels like he himself has closed on buddie since then unless it’s done as a last-ditch effort to save the show… again, i’m not saying i think bt is going to be endgame, but just because they aren’t endgame doesn’t mean buddie is and that is what pisses me off. that we will have been waiting for nearly a decade for this ship to go canon, we will have gone through so much hate and vitriol from the bt stans, we have been teased and built up time and time again (even in s7), we have been bait and switched with no satisfactory outcome, and we have been laughed at the entire time, and there is a possibility that none of it will actually pay off, all because some white man gets to call the shots and he’s shown that all he cares about is melodrama and trolling people online to stir up shit.

anyway, i didn’t mean to hijack this post, anon, but i wnated to further expound upon what exactly my point was in my original post, which was not that i believed Bree’s delusions or that the helicopter pilot is buck’s endgame, but that i won’t trust tim to actually go through with anything promising until i start to see actual concrete irrefutable evidence of it.

[bellamyblake]

Part 42of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I'm sorry for taking so long to update!)

(moodboard by @star-sky-earth​​​​):

Though she may not officially be a Factory one she knew where she belonged and her home had no station names or section numbers-it was a place of her own made up by the two boys she loved the most right now-Bellamy and Gus.

Despite the circumstances, that thought made her smile. 

When they crossed over, Clarke hurried to help Bellamy lean on the side of the wall and catch his breath. Now that his crutch was gone because of the guard, he was even more unstable on his feet and his left hand flailed for something to hold on to, so she gripped it tight and gave him a moment to calm himself down.

“This may just have been the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.” she whispered in a quiet angry hiss and he smiled a little while trying to catch his breath but she felt his fingers grip her back.

“You know me...” he said through ragged breaths “Stupid is my middle name.”

“Oh, please-” she scoffed rolling her eyes at him and he finally looked up at her only for her to notice the bruise already blooming on his cheek right under his beautiful brown eye hiding his freckles away and she cups his cheek with her fingers making him wince. “Do you hurt?”

“I’m fine.”

“Why did I not expect a different answer from you.” she sighs again and notices the way he’s cradling his side with his hand right where the guard kicked him so she grabs the hem of his shirt and lifts it up touching the tender skin of his stomach and feeling his ribs, making him wince again. “I swear if you keep this up, your ribs will never not be broken.”

“It’s okay, I think he hit my stomach not...not the ribs.”

“That’s not good either, you can have internal bleeding.” it’s his turn to roll his eyes and shake his head stubbornly. 

“I’m going to be fine, let’s just go home before Gus freaks out we’re gone.” he pushes off the wall but he’s definitely unstable on his feet again and she can tell he overtired himself and pushed himself too much by coming with her tonight. They’re both thinking it but neither one of them is saying it as they refused to argue in the Factory station hallways.

He stubbornly tries to walk on his own but of course he staggers and she grabs his arm and throws it over her own shoulders, pushing her body to his side and slowly walking ahead. He tries to rush it in, probably worried about Gus but the pain must be severe because he stops out of nowhere and grips her side where his hand was wrapped around her waist in a quiet plea to give him a second.

“It shouldn’t be this bad.” Clarke huffs angrily when they stop again just a few feet from their hallway. 

“I had been off for almost two days.” he protest and she rolled her eyes again.

“Yes and then before that you worked for over fifteen hours non-stop and had a very hectic week.”

“It’s work.” he cuts off a little too harsh probably because of his pain “I have to do it, you know that.” he sounds tired but she senses the judgement in his voice and knows what he’s implying, so she stops abruptly and pulls away from him for a moment.

“And I don’t, is that what you’re saying?”

“Clarke-”

“I don’t have to go to Farm or Factory and help people, right?” she snaps and moves them to a quieter corner, even though there were barely any people walking around now that everyone was mostly home after crossing back to their homes.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” he tries to explain but it comes out too weak and it just confirms to her that this is exactly what he’s been thinking-she didn’t have to go out there and he did.

“But it’s what you’re thinking and it shows through all your actions.” she barks back, forgetting for a moment that she no longer held his arm as tightly, that she had mostly let him go and he was leaning on the metal wall with his other hand, barely keeping himself standing. 

He shakes his head and tries to take a step on his own but he almost falls in the process and she grips him tightly again, worry washing over her-why was he so bad? This didn’t make much sense to her, he was supposed to have rested at least a little and he still seemed absolutely wrecked as if he’s spent every possible minute working his ass off.

“The bench-” he nods at the nearest metal bench just a few feet from them and she slowly helps him there, sitting him down and watching as he struggled to take his breath. He looked so broken that it made her feel bad for aguing with him. She took his hand in hers and gripped it thightly in quiet support while he caught his breath.

“You should ask for more days off.” she suggested but he shook his head hard without looking at her, eyes still closed and his other hand gripping his bad leg. 

“If I do, will you stop going out there?” he asks raising his eyebrow at her when he finally manages to lean on the bench and breath a little better.

“You know I can’t-” she protests “Just like you.”

“It’s not the same.” he argues again, getting angrier once more which she senses and in turn that makes her own flame burn brighter. 

“Except that it is!” she raises her voice a little and he clenches his jaw at her, both because of her stubborness and also clearly because he was still in pain despite sitting down. She had to take care of it when they came back home, that’s if he allowed her to...knowing him he’d probably fight her. “Bellamy, people are hurt out there! I cannot just let them suffer when I could help them.”

“You know that you’re literally forbidden from doing so! Goddammit, Clarke you almost died last time, your friend died-”

“I don’t need you to remind me of it, I know what happened!” she snapped and he bowed his head down at her “I can’t believe that after all this time, you’re no different than any of those Alpha assholes including my mother, who try to control my life.”

“I’m not doing that!” he raised his voice, offended at her accusation, clearly unhappy that he was compared to the one person he knew she couldn’t stand being around, especially lately. “Don’t you get it, princess? I just worry!” her face softens at that but for just a moment before she remembers to stand her ground.

“And I worry about you too, but I don’t stop you from going to work!” she points out again and he rolls his eyes gripping his leg again which she didn’t miss.

“I don’t think you realize how dangerous this is” he stated seriously, trying to knock some sense into her “You could get caught and when you do, the chancellor won’t be as forgiving this time, Wells won’t be able to help you or your mom and dad. Or I.”

“I don’t need saving!” she points out “I know damn right what I’m doing.” she’s glad there aren’t any other people in the hallway or they’de have brought a lot of attenion on themselves “These people need my help, Bellamy. Just like you did when you were hurt! I can’t leave them behind, not right now, not after everything they’ve been through!”

“What about Gus and I?” he points out next, leaning on the bench once more, stretching out his leg and trying to relax it “Did you ever think about that?”

“What about it?” she asks confused and he looks a little hurt when she does.

“It’s no longer just you going off against your parents or the system, Clarke.” his voice goes desperate, sad in a way it hadn’t been before “When you came to live with us...for better or for worse we became a family.” she bows her head down in shame-he did have a point here. “Whatever is going on between us it’s new but...it’s important to me and Gus....Gus adores you and losing you after everything that has happened in the past year...that will destroy him, Clarke.”

She sighs, he had a point here, she truly hadn’t stopped to think about what this would mean for him or Gus and she suddenly felt herself guilty. She had promised the kid so many times she’d be there for him, that she’d take care of him if something happened to Bellamy but the first chance she got, she was ready to throw it all away.

“You’re right...” she admits, shoving her hands under her thighs and staring down at her feet “I didn’t think about that.” he doesn’t say anything to this, waits patiently as she closes her eyes and thinks it through “But you risk your life every day, despite your injuries, despite the fact that you should work half a day or not at all considering your physical state.”

“Clarke-”

“No, please hear me out. You and I both know that the way you’re pushing yourself now...it will worsen things long-term but you do it for Gus and for me.”  he clenches his jaw, not being able to argue with that logic, not really, knowing that it’s not wrong “You can’t simply stay idly by.” she swallows hard “And I need you to understand that...I can’t either.” he sighs at that but grits his teeth and shakes his head but she’s faster than him this time and interrupts him before he can argue with her.

“I know you’re afraid, I do, Bellamy.” he looks into her eyes all sad and broken when she says it like this “I know it well because I worry about you too, every day. I wonder all the time if you’ll come back in one piece, if you’ll be fine-there’s no difference here between your fears for me and mine.”

“Except there is-” he argues feverntly again “You were so close to death, Clarke.” he whispers scaredly “So close.”

“And so were you. So ARE you, every day but Gus, I and your mom...we still let you go in the morning.” he sucks in a breath clearly disagreeing with her but refusing to argue with it and she knows why-a part of him agrees, he is slowly letting sink in the fact that she could possibly be right. “Can you understand that?” he bows down his head and grips his leg again, clearly in so much more pain than she ever supposed at first.

“I’m...trying to but you have to understand me too, Clarke-” he doesn’t look at her now, instead he focuses on the wall ahead, stubbornly refusing to meet her eyes and clenching his jaw “I lost Gina. I lost the mother of my child, my first love...” he stops for a second and finally looks at her “I can’t lose my second. I can’t go through this again.”

She feels bad for him in this moment, so awfully bad because she never thought that much about the point he was making now, she never realized what this actually means for him but now that he says it, now that he’s looking into her with his eyes big and broken and his hands shaking, his body breaking apart on a damn Factory bench, she feels horrible for making him go through this.

But then there’s also another side of things, a side that she just can’t let go of-maybe it was just who she was as a person but she couldn’t change it and if Bellamy really loved her then he’d understand that.

For a moment there they sit in silence and she covers his hand in hers, rubs her thumb over his calloused palm, made notice of the skin there, the way it broke on the outside, how harsh it felt, like sandpaper and how it swell on the inside, caused blisters that hardened. She takes her time to feel his fingers, his knuckles that had broken more than once-there was a big cut on his left palm which she had took notice of before after they fooled around for the first time and he pushed her to his chest, his hand ending up on her bare stomach, rubbing up and down. She got ticklish when she felt him there and at first she thought it was just his bruises but then she picked up his hand and looked at it, saw the long jagged scar inside and asked him how he got that.

“My first serious work injury when I was twelve.” he had said watching as she traced it with her fingers “I worked in the Factory mess hall. They made me open up cans of fish and meat for some of the councilmen that had come to have lunch there after a meeting. I was in a rush and my boss was pretty awful. He used to beat me and the other cooks with a stick on the hands when we weren’t fast enough-” Clarke had winced then but then clenched his hand in both of hers “I slided my hand when one of the can openers slipped through my fingers. There was so much blood I almost passed out.”

“Did you go to medbay? Get it taken care of?” he shook his head and smiled.

“Medbay?” he had said in disbelief “My mom stitched it up with a red thread and bandaged it in some clean rags. Put me to bed and kissed my forehead-that was it.”

She thought of their conversation then, wondering what would’ve happened if she had gotten a cut like that as a child-surely her mom would’ve freaked out, taken her to medbay or stitched her at home, probably give her a local anesthetic and meticiously wrap her wound in a gauze and bandages. Then put her to bed with her dad, play some cartoons for her. Her dad would pamper her for days after, kiss her forehead and fingers to take the pain away, maybe even carry her on a horseback for a while to lift her mood up.

Bellamy was hardened by life-he got hurt, he stitched it up somehow and then he moved on because that’s how life in Factory worked. There was no time for pampering, smoldering or spoiling. You took a breath, then another and you pushed-for your mother, for your child. He had no other choice, never knew anything else.

Until he lost Gina. And then despite it all he kept pushing but his world was crumbled. It got totally fucked up then, his life changed completely and then it did once more when he choose to protect Clarke from the bomb and got hurt instead-first he lost his soul and then with her, he lost his body. Or at least he lost what he used to have and his life inevitably changed making everything even harder. If he hadn’t done what he had, she wouldn’t be sitting here today with him. She’d be dead or at least as fucked up as he was.

“Bellamy,-” she begins again taking a deep breath and staring down at their joined hands “You know you’re the bravest person that I’ve ever met right?” she looks up at him and of course, in his typical Bellamy fashion, he seems confused, like what on earth are you talking about Clarke-Brave? Me? 

He shakes his head and shrugs it off just like she thought he would.

“You are.” she insists, squiezing his hand again “And I know that you get up every day and you chose to be braver no matter what challenge life throws at you.” he swallows hard but listens carefully to her “I do realize that what I’m asking from you is a lot-” she continues “To send me out there, to know that I could be caught but-” she takes in a breath and stares into his beautiful brown eyes, pleading “Bellamy, I have to do this.”

He snaps his head away as if she’s burned or slapped him and pulls his hand back from hers which she tries not to think too hard about-she was hurting him, of course he was acting like this.

She gives him a moment and watches as he squeezes the side of the bench with his fingers, grits his teeth and thinks hard over her words before he finally speaks out.

“You’re wrong, you know?” he whispers “I’m not brave.” he admits “I’m just scared.” she opens her mouth to protest but he is the one to interrupt her this time “But one thing is true-you can’t base relationships on fear and I don’t want to be some controlling ass like your mom or Wells.” Clarke’s face crumbles a little and she reaches for his hand again which he takes this time between both of his. 

“I don’t agree with this but I won’t try to stop you.” he finally says and Clarke smiles a little before scooting closer to him and reaching out to hug him. He hugs her back but weakly and she knows it’s not because he doesn’t want to but rather because he’s tired and in pain.

“I’ll come with you, though.” he adds next and she looks up confused “If you’re going to do this, you need someone to have your back. We need to be smart about it-you can’t go around jumping stations whenever you feel like it-someone will notice and you’ll get caught.” Clarke thinks over his words and knows that even if she wants to fight him about pushing himself even harder just to let her have what she needs, she won’t win “We’ll do it after I’m done with work. Harper will get you a fake ID, maybe even a few and I’ll be keeping watch while you work, how does that sound?”

“Okay.” she nods pursing her lips a little “But on one condition.”

“There’s no room for conditions, princess.” he points out, raising his eyebrow but she juts her chin and crosses her arms over her chest.

“I need you to promise that you’ll let me take care of your leg every day.” he shakes his head stubbornly at that but she squeezes his fingers once more “Every day, Bellamy.” she insists “In the morning before work or after. The weekends too.” he opens his mouth to argue but she shuts him off “I won’t take no for an answer-if you want to come with me, keep me safe then I need to find a way to make sure you’re safe out there too. You said it before when we first started this-it’s not a one-sided thing. We’re in this together.”

Bellamy keeps his eyes on her for a while and when he sees that she won’t back down, he finally relents, huffs like a particularly tired angry horse neighing after a hard argument with their master and then shows his agreement with a small barely visible nod.

Clarke smiles, takes it as a win and her heart screams that she just wants to hug him so so badly but she decides to pace herself-there was time for that at home, right now they just needed to get there.

They slowly get up and he lets her support him without much of a fuss-just like before he knew that he needed the crutch to get to Farm station-he was a stubborn idiot but not that stupid, he’d never let himself fall and put her in a situation where she wouldn’t know what to do or how to help him.

When they finally made it home, Gus jumped from the bed the moment they opened the door, even though his grandma was reading him his favorite Anne of Green Gables, only apparently the next part, which Bellamy had somehow managed to find in the black market and buy for the kid. 

“Dada!” he had squeaked and reached his little arms up to his dad, since he couldn’t run on his own with the frostbite. Bellamy let go of Clarke and limped to them under both Clarke and his mom’s scrutinizing glances. He noticed they exchanged a look that he knew perfectly well-they were communicating without words, typicall that was reserved for his and Clarke’s relationship but his mom and her had grown close and bonded ovre their mutual worry over him. 

“Hey, sweet boy.” Bellamy rubbed his back tiredly and kissed his head “Had a good time?” Gus mumbles a quiet "Mhwm" and pulls the back of Bellamy’s curls as they slowly come forward and Aurora stands abruptly when she notices Bellamy’s bad limp and how Clarke pulls the chair for him and gives him a stern look, insisting he sat down.

“Was everything okay?” she asks with worry and can cealrly see something was bothering Bellamy but he shook his head as Clarke went on to explain about Tor and his daughter, as well as the other girl she tried to help. Aurora listens intently but keeps her eyes on Bellamy, who clearly isn’t happy about this but focused on Gus, who was tired after dinner and the story, and was already starting to fall asleep in his arms. 

“It’s dangerous for you to go out there alone, Clarke.” Aurora comments when Clarke tells her about her plans for the upcoming days and in his mother’s eyes Bellamy can read the genuine worry, one she carried around for Gina when she was still alive.

“She won’t by alone.” he chimes in for the first time since Clarke started talking “I’ll go with there, so we’ll need you to take care of him while we’re gone.”

“You know I will, Bellamy, but that’s not the point-” Aurora keeps on, furrowing her eyebrows a little and reaching to squeeze his hand “This is dangerous. You could get caught.” she turns her head to Clarke who purses her lips but not in annoyance, more like because she was tired of having the same argument over and over again. 

“She won’t be.” Bellamy speaks up before Clarke can try and convince his mother “I won’t let that happen.”

“Bellamy-”

“That’s enough, mom. We’ve discussed it and I support Clarke even if I have my concerns as well.” that warms Clarke’s heart and her eyes grow wide upon hearing those words. He meets hers and gives her a light smile in reassurance before turning back to his mom “Will you be able to help with Gus or not?”

“Of course I will.” Aurora settles down, ultimately agreeing that this was their decision and not hers even if she disagreed with it-they were a family now, a unit, despite not being married. They lived together and took care of Gus themselves-she could advice them and worry about them but she couldn’t tell them what to do. 

“I should go now.” she stands up and leans over to run her fingers through Gus’ curls and then pick Bellamy’s chin up. “Please be careful at work, okay?” he nods and she kisses his forehead before giving Clarke a nod and leaving.

They talk for a while after, Clarke brings some food for them since they never had dinner and Bellamy nibbles on his bread and jerky, mostly leaving her more of the food they cut and put together in a mutual plate. They’ve figured out they liked eating like this-from one place, both of them pushing little cuts of the cheese or dry apples or bread to each other and arguing about the other eating them with insistant angry glances.

Gus grows tired in his arms but never trully falls asleep and when Clarke stands up and insists she took care of Bellamy’s leg like he promised he’d let her do, he perks up and rolls over on his dad’s lap so that he’s facing her.

“Can I watch?” he asks as Clarke pulls up Bellamy’s pant leg up and reveals the cut under his knee from the accident as well as his swollen joints. “Does it hurt, dada?” he shrugs it off and shakes his head.

“I’m good, baby boy.” he kisses his cheek and Gus squirms in his arms, always happy to have his dad’s love and attention. His own little foot was wrapped up in a good tight bandage that however needed to be changed as well.

“I have to fix your bandage too, Gus, okay?” she says and after taking off Bellamy’s boot and sock, she reaches for Gus’ one. The kid stares between his and dad’s legs and after a moment, looks up.

“Dada, we’re getting patched up at the same time.”

“Yes, we are son.” Bellamy kept running his hand over his curls softly “Doctor Clarke’s good, isn’t she?” Gus nods and gives him a light smile.

“One day I’ll be as good as her.”

“Of course you will be, sweet face.” Clarke assures when she undoes his bandage “Maybe even better than me.” Gus smiles and shakes his head in his typical shy fashion much like his father. 

“We can work together, right?” Gus asks with his tired sleepy voice while Clarke applies more of her frostburn cream over his leg and little toes. Bellamy couldn’t look at that for too long so he averted his eyes-it just hurt him too much to see his son in pain “We’ll have our medbay...and I’ll learn from you...and help you out.”

“Of course, baby boy.” Clarke says though her heart clenches at Gus’ words. She doubted the chancellor would consider opening another medbay, at least not anytime soon. 

“I’ll study fiwst...and then...I’ll pass my exams...and then we’ll hewp people together, wait?” Gus was growing more and more sleepy with every passing minute which was good for Clarke who was wrapping his foot up in a fresh bandage and reaching for the syrup they gave him to ease the pain and prevent inflammation. Bellamy helped tilt his head up and let her give him a few sips, urging the kid to swallow. 

After, his head rested on Bellamy’s chest, his eyes closed and he was fast asleep. Clarke brushed the curls from his forehead and kissed his cheek before focusing on Bellamy’s leg.

“I think it’s best I put him to bed and we move to our cot-it’ll be easier for me to take care of you there, okay?” Bellamy agrees but insists he is the one to put Gus to bed which gives Clarke enough time to get ready for bed and use the bathroom.

By the time she’s out Bellamy’s sitting in their cot, Gus is all tucked in and he’s trying to take off his overalls though unsuccessfully so Clarke rushes to help him out with it or she’s pretty sure he would’ve tripped over himself and ended up on the floor if she hasn’t.

“Okay, easy there, mister overalls.” she scolds him mildly and looks up to see his reaction except he’s pursing his lips and trying to swallow down what looks like yet another bout of pain. “Hey, what is it?” she asks and he opens his eyes briefly just to let her know the amount of pain he’s in which rushes her to her feet and with her gentle hands she pushes him down in a lying position. “Does it hurt too bad?”

“It’s fine.” he says through gritted teeth but she can see he’s holding his hip with his hand and squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s...I just need a moment that’s all.”

“I’ll go grab my supplies.” she tells him before moving up from the bed but he grips her wrist and pulls her back down next to him shaking his head stubbornly.

“No.” he says slowly before taking in a deep breath and meeting her eyes “No more ointments or bandages...no more compresses. I don’t want any of that.”

“Bellamy-”

“No offense to you, princess, but it doesn’t help.” he blurts sadly “This isn’t Gus’ frostbite, okay? It’s fucked up from inside and you know it.” Clarke sighs and bows her head down staring at his fingers wrapped around her wrist.

“Let me at least massage it, okay?” she insists “That’ll help relieve the pressure and numbness of your muscles.” he smirks a little at that and she knows he’s about to say something extremely dumb but she finds it in her heart that she doesn’t mind it.

“A massage, huh?” she rolls her eyes at him and scoffs.

“Or I could just go to bed and let you suffer all night long.”

“No, no-” he reaches up for her other hand too and pulls her closer to him “Please, I’ll take the massage.”

“I thought so.” she moves over the bed and starts on his bad leg, first up at his thigh then lowering it to his swollen knee and down to his ankle. It clearly hurts him a lot and though she still uses the anti-inflammatory cream she had for Gus despite his protests on the subject, she can tell she’s not doing much to ease his pain at least not at first. 

“So will you ever tell me?” she asks when she’s running her hands over his swollen ankle while he’s thrown his arm over his eyes, trying to control his breathing and pain.

“Tell you what?” he groans when she applies more pressure over the joing and shivers underneath her-his whole leg was fucked up. It was a miracle he put any weight on it at all.

“Why did the guard let us go when he saw your ID? Why your mom is so worried over your job that she comes in here always hand shaking, eyes wide as if she’s expecting not to find you back home at all?” Bellamy perks up a little from under his arm but just for a moment before he speaks.

“It’s not important.”

“Don’t give me that-” Clarke stops and lets her hands drop “I know you’re hiding something. You have been for a while now, I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were.” he tries staying calm but she can feel the newly-appeared tension in his voice. Still, he avoids her look.

“The food you bring in-all the fruit and vegitables, the bread and meat. The cake on Gus’ birthday too as well as the fact that you come home even more tired than before, your cough worsening-there is a reason for that.”

“Clarke-” he says it as a warning, trying to tell her not to prod. But Clake has never been one to ever let go easily.

“As hard as I know your job is, this is something else.” she crosses her arms over her chest “It’s different, I can tell.”

“You can now, can’t you?” he huffs and she reaches over to grab his arm and snap it from his face so she can finally, truly meet his eyes.

“I thought we were going to be honest with each other? Share everything?” his face grows serious at that but she keeps her eyes on him, her lips pursed and her hand on his wrist, refusing to let go, trying to let him know that he’d either talk to her or he can go to hell.

“I can’t.” he finally mumbles and she is about to roll off the bed and tell him she’ll sleep on the ground when he grips her fingers and pushes her back “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“I can’t.” he whispers and his face crumbles “I literally am not allowed to tell you.” Clarke raises her eyebrow in confusion but doens’t move, settling back on the bed. “It’s classified.” he adds and her head starts working all the words out, figuring what he means.

It’s a while before she finally speaks up.

“You no longer work on Level 2 do you?” he shakes his head “They’ve transferred you?” he nods “And you telling me what you’re doing now will potentially put me in danger?”

“Yes.” he finally says and moves up on his elbows which clearly also causes him pain and it’s in that moment that she realizes most of his suffering now came from his back, not his leg and she wants to slap herself on the face-of course the problem was there-it was where he was hit the worst, it was why he couldn’t walk. She had to flip him over and take care of his back, check for swelling, but for now he was simply staring at her eyes big and pleading.

“I’m trying to protect you. All of you.” he insists tightening his grip on her fingers again “Please...princess, I beg for you to understand.”

She deflects at that for a short moment, thinking over his words before finally speaking up.

“How dangerous is it?” she asks and he falls back on the pillows “If your mom’s that worried, if your cough is this persistant, if your leg despite the rest gets bad so fast...then this is putting a serious strain on you.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. Mom’s exaggarating.” he tries to keep his voice steady but she shakes her head stubbornly once more.

“Be honest.” she insists “Please, Bellamy.” he keeps his eyes on her for a moment too long, then sighs and finally spekas up.

“It is dangerous.” he says and Clarke’s heart jumps in her throat “But no more than any other job in Factory.”

“That last part was a lie.” she calls him out on it and he shyly bows his head down and stares at his stomach “Why then? Couldn’t you have said no to whoever was offering you this?”

“Perhaps I could have but I didn’t want to.” he admits “I have to do this Clarke. Just like you have to go out there and help the people that are hurt.”

“For Gus?”

“Mostly, but for us all too. This gives me so much more than I could ever imagine-ration points are good, I can bring enough food on the table and put aside for him.” he explains carefully swaying on his elbows a little, almost falling back on the pillows but somehow he manages to keep himself up “You heard him tonight, Clarke. This is becoming his dream and even if it changes, even if he wants something else then this gives me the opportunity to give it to him.”

Clarke nods thinking over his words for a moment, trying to let it all sink in.

“You get it, right? Why I am doing this?” he asks when she doesn’t say anything for a while and reaches to tug her over his stomach, resting himself down on the pillows. She ends up on his chest, her head resting over his beating heart for just a moment before she forces herself to look up and meet his eyes. He lifts himself on the pillows so that he’s half-sitting and pulls her up a little. 

Her fingers ghost over his cheek, then her index finger moves to his lip and traces it, after which she goes up to the freckles on his nose, his eye which she forces him to close so she can move over his eyelid. She marvels at his beauty despite the pain and torture and sadness written all over it.

God, he was so much in all the senses that it made her whole being feel as if on fire-she’s never had that before, all of those things coming together at once to make her believe she can be more than a shell of an Alpha princess. And each and every one of those amazing qualities he possessed his bravery, his selflessness, his vulnerability and even his stubborness, often came crashing right through her heart-it’s as if he stumbled on her and went through her entire being like a wind she’s never felt but only heard of and he found his perfect place inside her, a little corner of his own that grew over the months to consume her whole.

And she couldn’t fight it.

Moreover she didn’t want to.

”Clarke?” he asks confused when she doesn’t answer his question but her fingers fall to his lips and allow him to meet her eyes while her index finger taps on his upper lip and her thumb brushes his chin.

“You know I love you, right?” she says instead and his eyes widen, his breath hitches “I should’ve said it earlier and I don’t know why I didn’t but-” she swallows hard and moves up, he follows swiftly as well, sitting straighter, allowing her legs to sneak around him and her feet to lock up on his back. She was sitting in him with his arms wrapped around her back and his face so close to hers, she swore she could count on every freckle “I do, Bellamy. I love you.”

“Clarke-” he chokes on it a little, it came out desperate, maybe even surprised and she smiles at him as her hand keeps moving over his face, her hands cupping his cheeks. God, she could never be tired of holding his face in her hands. Ever.

“It’s okay if you can’t say it now or if you do not feel the same way, I just had to tell you.” she blurts out when she realizes she totally sprung this on him “The life we’re living, it’s just...so dangerous and I didn’t want you to go out there and not know or think that I don’t....that I don’t love you, Bellamy because I do.”

“Clarke, will you listen to me-” he tries but she’s on a roll.

“You knocked me on my feet, you stubborn ass and goddammit I get angry all the time with you but I just-” she rests her forhead against him “God, I love you.”

He wraps his hands around her wrists and she feels his breath fan her neck with her eyes closed for the time being.

A beat. 

And then.

“I love you too, princess.” he says and it’s the softness of his voice that makes her open her eyes and stare into his brown ones, it’s the warmness that she was certain would’ve send her staggering on her feet had she been up.

“You don’t have to say it just because I did.” she blurts out again, trying to reassure him and he chuckles at her cuteness, catches her face in his big calloused ones and moves up to kiss her.

“I’m not.” he assures when he pulls back, leaving her breathless “It’s been on my mind for a while now, I just hadn’t had the guts to say it out loud, too afraid you’re not ready or that it’s not the right time but-” he rubs her cheek again and kisses her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, then her lips once more “I love you too.”

“You really do?” she sounds small, vulnerable.

He takes her hand and moves it over his heart that’s trumping loud and a little erratic but steady.

“I do.” she smiles and lets herself exhale a little against him, keeping her hand on his chest and resting her cheek on his other side at the crook of his neck. He rests his back against the pillows once more probably because he got tired of keeping up and she feels him relax a little and stroke her hair inbetween the soft kisses he gave her on her forehead and lower, catching her lips now and then-it’s soft and slow for now but she can feel the bulge in his boxers that presses against her center and makes her hot and more than a little wet.

For now they’re taking their time, though, needing to just be here in this moment. 

“Did you really question me?” he pats her nose with his index finger as she adjusts herself on his lap and moves up a little before going back down and eliciting a hiss from his as his dick grows harder against her and his hand grips hers over his heart.

“I’m sorry.” she whispers looking back up at him innocently. “I just...I’m not sure I’ve ever had someone tell me this.” he cocks his eyebrow at her “That they love me. Well...other than my parents of course.”

“Well here I am now too.” he catches her lips again and this time it’s her who groans in his mouth.

“Here you are.” she whispers when his hand moves to stroke her face and then sneaks down to her chest and then lower to her left boob which she carefully squeezes over her shirt making her back arch. “I love the way it sounds.” she gasps against his neck when she moves up and down again, tesing his cock that she can tell is painfully hard now.

“What is that?” he asks between kisses allowing her to move up a little and grant him better access-his lips trail to her neck and suck on her pulse point, making her jab her fingernails in his arm as a way of trying to ground herself.

She keeps grinding against him as a small way of retaliation while his other hand sneaks under her shirt and takes her boob in, softly kneading on it like a kitten as his fingers patted over her sensitive nipple and hardened it.

“You saying you love me.” she says between breaths as the wetness pools more and more in her panties, embarrassingly drenching her pjs that was actually his ones only cut shorter by herself the other day. 

“Oh yeah?” he asks sliding his other hand in there and sneaking through the blond curls of her cunt until he reaches her chenter “Goddammit, Clarke, you’re so wet.” he whispers and she drips over his fingers before he’s even fully entered her. 

He starts pumping her a little and she gasps trying to keep her voice quiet knowing that Gus, despite the syrup that would knock him out for the night, could still wake up. Bellamy must read her thoughts because he briefly stops, looks behind him and checks on the kid before pulling in the small curtain made of old canvas Aurora brought to separate their beds and give them some semblance of privacy.

“Then all I can do is keep saying it, shouldn’t I?” he asks when he brings his attention back to her and starts sneaking his hand back in her panties while his other never left her breast. She had noticed he liked that-teasing her boobs, licking them, sucking on them, kissing them-it brought him immeasurable joy. 

Just before he actually mananges to get back in, he grabs his wrist and pulls it out and a little away from him, meeting his confused expression.

“No more of this-” she says not leaving room for discussion “I want you-” her hand goes down to his bulge and covers it, making him suck his breath in “In me, okay?”

“Clarke-” he shakes his head “We can’t.”

“Yes, we can.” she insists running her palm up and down his still hidden by the boxers cock “You’ll pull out before you-” she blushes at that and he smirks a little “I’ll find some of that tea that I know Factory women use.”

“That’s not exactly reliable.” he argues “We can’t get you pregant.” he says seriously “If you sneaking around doesn’t get you caught or punished, then this surely will and I won’t risk it.” she knows he’s right-if by any chance she got pregnant they won’t have access to any medical falicity, she had no way of getting an abortion, at least not one that won’t endanger her life. She knew the statistics even if nobody talked about them-at least twenty percent of the deaths in Factory and Farm each year came from women trying to get an abortion through various unsafe ways and it always made her furious. While Alpha had condoms, something she was sure Bellamy had probably never seen in his life even if he surely must’ve heard of it, as well as birth control pills, Factory, Farm and Arrow had nothing but old women’s tales, bad teas that didn’t work or worked only halfways and their own desperate ways of doing this just so they’re not floated.

“I won’t get pregnant.”

“You don’t know that.” he insists though he gasps again when she squeezes his dick through the thin paper boxers “Clarke, fuck I-” she cups his cheek again with her other hand and tilts his head up.

“We can do this.” she insists “I know we can and Bellamy, I-” she digs her nails in his cheek a little as she grinds on him some more, purposedly lifting herself up and then lowering her center right on his hard cock, looking for release “I really need you.”

His hands slide from her boob and her middle to her waist and he grips her hard there before he speaks, through ragged breaths.

“Are you sure?” he asks “Are you really sure you want this?” she smiles at that, always the gentleman, always asking her if she’s okay with anything, before his fingers ghost over her cunt or her nipple, before she wraps her hand around his cock even though it was her idea to jerk him off or before his lips taste her wetness as he eats her out-always, always asking god-

It was too much, she couldn’t handle the softness that was this man.

“I’m sure.” she whispers staring into his eyes “Take me.” she insists.

“You’re no one’s to take-” he insists as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear “You’re someone to love.” he kisses the corner of her lips and waits until she gives him another small nod before he flips them over.

She’s honestly not sure where he gets the strength to do that, considering how bad his back and leg were and she doesn’t miss the way he winces at the sharp movement but he ignores it for the sake of this, for the sake of them.

He grabs the hem of her shirt, that was his shirt really and pulls it off so hard she hears the seams protest at the movement and she can’t help but chuckle at it. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” she jokes when he takes a moment to just stare at her bare chest and marvel at her boobs.

“Can’t blame me now, can you?” he asks when he moves down to kiss her again and tuck at her PJs and panties with one swift movement. She wraps her arms around his middle again, trying to be mindful of his back because he does tense when her heel ends up near what she can feel is one of the bigger scars from the bomb but there’s nothing she can do to ease his pain.

“Are you....are you okay?” she asks him when he pulls away for a second and is about to move to give some attention to her other boob and he gives her a confused look “Are you in pain?”

“I’m fine.” he promises and moves over to kiss her forehead in reassurance while her hands ghost over his face and pull his lips to her once more-she swore she couldn’t get enough of him right now and she only grew hotter, dripping over the sheets and rubbing against him impatiently. 

“Who’s eager now?” he jokes when he rubs against her to tease her a little and she gasps.

“You have too many clothes.” she pulls at his shirt and she’s almost halfway through when he grips her wrist.

“Are you sure you want to see this?” the question confuses her and for a moment she has absolutely no idea what he’s talking about until he grabs her hand and slides it over his front and then back where his scars were “This could ruin the mood.” her heart drops at that and her eyes widen.

He was ashamed of himself, of his body, she realized and it hit her like a train. It made all the sense to her now-why before he kept his shirt on when they fooled around, he wouldn’t let her hands sneak to his back or leg, how he was too shy and embarrassed when she was blowing him, her hands and face too close to the scar on his leg and why he finished so fast, almost making her wonder if she did something wrong. 

God no, did he really think that he was ugly? That he could ruin something with his scars?

“Please tell me you’re kidding?” she asks then, letting herself fall on the pillow for a moment breathing heavily as he kept hovering over her, resting on his strong arms. “Bellamy, this is nothing to be ashamed of.” she insists and drops her feet lower so she could put her hand over his scars and cover them with her palm. 

“It’s not exactly sexy.” he says and she can hear his voice tremble.

“Yes it is.” she insists and he shakes his head clearly in his head for the moment so she picks his face and forces him to meet her eyes “It is. They’re part of you and if you’re making me embarrassingly wet then so are they, got it?” he chuckles at that and she tugs at his shirt “Now take this off and fuck me before I have to do it myself.” 

“So bossy.” he laughs a little, quietly so that Gus doesn’t hear them and lets her pull it off. She knows the conversation’s not over, that they’ll go through that later when they’re done but for now they were both hot and crazy for each other and needed to be together, truly together, for the first time.

She blushes at the sight of his chest as much as he had when he saw her but it is when she pulls his boxers down and sees how hard he is that she unvoluntarily spreads her legs even more and makes him chuckle again a little before she nudges him with her hands on his back, urging him to come to her.

He maneuvers himself closer and she can feel the tip of his cock at her center and yet again, right before he enters her, he looks into her eyes and asks once more. She gives him a small nod and finally he pushes in and Clarke gasps out louder than she thought she would, making him scold her lightly as he ran his hand down her forehead and stroke her face.

“Shh, it’s okay.” he whispers as he plasters kisses all over her face. Clearly he wasn’t her first one but as embarrasing as it was for her to admit, she hasn’t been with a boy in a while, mostly fooling around with girls back in Alpha during her residency and then just one boy before in her high school days, who was unfortunately not good at this. 

The thing was, Bellamy was big, she knew that, it was one of the reasons why she got so wet just thinking about having him in her and he stretched her out in a way that was both a little painful and amazing at the same time.

It was too much, god, it was so much she could probably come just from having him in her like this.

He waits until she adjusts to him, keeps giving her small reassurances that made her heart fill with even more love-he was so gentle, so soft but she could feel his hips tremble with anticipation and she knew this was too much for him especially for someone with a very fucked up back and a barely working leg, so she wraps herself around his waist once more and puts her hands on his shoulders.

“You can...you can move now” she tells him and he smiles moving himself up from the crook of her neck and pulling away a little before slamming into her slowly. He is still gentle, still considerate of it all but soon enough it’s too much and she just needs him to be faster so she urges him with her heels pressing into his back and he is pulling in and out faster inbetween kissing her and teasing her breasts.

His hands roam freely everywhere, her chest, her nipple, her stomach-he knew that was her soft spot so he ran his calloused fingers there for a bit making her shudder with lust and want before sneaking his hand behind her back and pulling her up, closer to him as he fucked into her fast and hard. She closed her eyes and rest her chin on his shoulder, wrapped herself entirely on him, her hands locked on his back as well as her legs.

They both knew they wouldn’t last long but he was adamant at making sure she comes first, so he carefully sneaks his hand down to her clit and runs his rough finger over it making her scream a little.

“Shhh, you’ll wake him!” Bellamy stops and moves his hand away from her when they wait for Gus, who they hear move in bed, settle down. 

“Sorry, shit...sorry, it’s just...you’re too much.”

“Oh, am I?” he asks with a smirk when he pulls at the curtain to check on Gus and thankfully finds that the kid just rolled over on his stomach like he loved sleeping and had his mouth open, drooling on the pillow. “He’s all good.” Bellamy promises when his hand moves back down to her boob which he was holding a moment before and cups it gently as he moves down and rubs her nose against his “Now lets get you good too, princess.”

She nods and watches as he moves his hand lower over her stomach and down to her crotch-it’s a beautiful sight, seeing him pull out of her and then back in, she finds herself mesmerized by the moment until he whispers in her ear.

“I love you, Clarke.” he says and she meets his eyes once more smiling as she cups his cheek.

“I love you too, Bellamy.” his eyes are so soft that she’s sure she can come from the look of his alone but it is his thumb pushing over the most sensitive parts of her that gets her done and she comes so hard she drags her nails over his back to ground herself and buries her head in his chest, trying to stifle her screams.

She coats his cock in so much come that she’s surprised by herself and it’s not until he strokes her head and shushes her that she realizes she had actually bit his arm as a way of grounding herself and when she pulls away she sees the imprint of her teeth over the skin on his shoulder.

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing.” he whispers “And it’s better than waking a four year old.” he kisses the corner of her lip as she slides down on the pillows “I need to ...I have to cum too.” he whispers and she realizes how strained his face seemed just then, feels bad that she ignored him up until that moment and scolds herself mentally for it.

She gives him a nod and moves up a few more time times, pushes into her just to get himself there before he pulls out, grips his cock and spills all over her stomach.

The sight makes her cunt convulse once more and she realizes she’s dripped so much on the sheets she’s made a total mess of them but she finds out she doesn’t mind even if she’s a little shy and embarrassed about it.

“Hey...it’s okay.” he promises, pulling her over his chest for a brief kiss while she stares at his now soft cock and the cum he’s spilled on her. This could’ve happened inside her, she thinks, in another life, this could be the start of something new. “I’ll take care of this.” he promises and she watches him stand up and hobble to the bathroom.

She furrows her eyebrows when she realizes what a strain this is for him and his back and how selfish she had been but she’s still so spent and soft and vulnerable that when he comes back and wipes her stomach clean, she can’t help but inch closer to him. He chuckles and picks her up in his arms only halfway so he could kiss her forehead.

“I have to change the sheets if we want to sleep in a clean bed.” he rubs his nose against hers “Okay, princess?”

“Mwhm.” she mumbles but grips his shirt that she unhappily finds he put back on with her fingers.

“You’re totally spent, aren’t you?” he asks a little too smug and she groans “Did I take all your strenght away?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Bellamy Blake, I was already pretty tired from saving all those lives.” he laughs quietly and kisses her again before pulling back.

“If that’s what you want to tell yourself, princess.” she doesn’t know how he manages to pull her up and move her to what is a metal chair by the table, she just realizes she slumps there and starts dozing off while he shuffles behind her with the sheets and pillows. 

When he picks her up again she doesn’t miss the painful groan that leaves his lips or how bad he’s limping.

“Put me down!” she tries as she pats his chest weakly “I can walk.” he chuckles at that as he puts her down and cradles her face.

“Not to sound so smug but-” he tucks the blankets over her legs “I kind of doubt that, princess.” she grunts at that but lets him tuck her in and when he slides besides her she immideatelly snuggles into his chest. He chuckles a little again but pushes her to him and allows her to rest her head over his beating heart. 

He’s tired and in pain, that much she can tell considering how tense his body is underneath her so she makes herself a promise that tomorrow, the first thing she’ll do is take care of his back and leg, before he has to go to work or feed Gus or even go out there to grab them rations.

She feels his hand rub up and down her back and every now and then he’d kiss the top of her head or tuck a strand of hair away. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of her and she understood this because her hands never really left his body either.

Clarke’s pretty sure that if they weren’t as tired, she could sneak her hand down his now fresh pair of boxers and get them going once more. It was enough to just be lying on his rigid chest to get her center pooling and he must feel this, he must know because he leans down to kiss her and it’s hot, wet, messy and sleepy.

“Princess-”  he warns a little when they move sideways, looking in each other’s eyes and her hand teases the hair on his stomach before desperately reaching for the hem of his boxers. He grabs her wrist and shakes his head “We can take it easy, you know? The one thing we have is time.” she groans unhappy, protesting quietly at that and he smiles cupping her cheek again.

“I want you in me.” she begs and he rubs his nose against her.

“I was just in you a moment ago, Clarke.”

“Again.” she whines and she knows that she does sound like Gus, a kid who desperately asks for more candy or to play just a little longer or not to go to bed so early and Bellamy can’t say he minds that side of her.

He’s never been that wanted before. Maybe with Gina when they were still in their honeymoon phrase but after...after they just had so many things going on that sex was a one time occurance every other month-they were both so tired and broken, busy to make sure she’s okay or that Gus is fine and that they had enough to eat. Problems overwhelmed them for the time being. He often thought if later the more the kid grow, the more time they’d have for themselves but he never got to know, not really. He lost her too soon. 

He sighs, buries his nose in her hair and breaths her in-did he really deserve all this? Did he deserve to be loved?

He scolded himself mentally and let her hand go, allowing her to reach down and tug at his boxers, grab his already half hard dick. He didn’t need much-just to have her nipples rub against his chest or her lips kissing his neck or her fingers...god her fingers-

He was like a horny teenager. Frankly, he wasn’t sure he’s been that hot even when he was seventeen. Back then he had too many things to worry about as well. 

He lets her pump him a few times and when he’s hard enough, he easily spreads her legs and pushes in her. He manages a few slow thursts but that’s pretty much it-they were once again together.

He tucks her in the crook of his neck and feels her give him a small gentle kiss there while her hands roamed up and down his still bruised sides.

“You haven’t gained any weight.” she comments and he smiles-Clarke, always the nurturor, always the carer “And you hurt.”

“It’s bearable.” he whispers “With you and Gus here, I can take on anything.”

“I wish you didn’t have to.” she mumbles and he knows she’s on the verge of sleep “I wish you were happy.”

“I am.” he insists and she looks up at him with tired eyes making him so soft for her that he can’t help himself and just pushes her closer to his chest “I have everything I could ever ask for.” he promises and kisses her forehead one last time “Now sleep, princess.” she tucks her head under his chin and he smiles at how affectionate she was in this moment. She was so small in his arms yet she fit so perfectly.

If someone had told him that he’ll fall in love again after Gina, he’d have never believed them-frankly, he had no idea how he even survived and if he had to be completely honest, he wasn’t sure what happiness truly felt like but he knew he had experienced it at least a few times-first when he married Gina, then when he held Gus in his arms for the first time and now...

Now he was pretty sure was the third time if only because his heart was bursting with joy, he felt light and he just couldn’t, even when he knew he was already falling asleep, stop smiling. 

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Ozzie's

Fandom: Helluva Boss Summary: Blitz is desperate for a job and just happens to get one that gives him more than he bargained for. It's the best thing that ever happened to him, even when it puts his body through the second hardest thing he's ever been through and squeezes every ounce of love into his heart. Warnings: Mpreg, pregnancy, trans Blitzo Buckzo, graphic childbirth, mentions of parental death, mentions of massive disfigurement, sex work, and mental health issues Word Count: 26,345 Ship(s): Asmodeus | Ozzie/Blitzo Buckzo

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A/N: So this fic was a direct request from my mutual based off of a roleplay that we did. Which is why Satan and Ozzie are both children of Lucifer. I did change a couple things from the roleplay so that it was easier for other people to understand. If you have any questions about my headcanons for what happens post-fic then I'd be happy to tell you all! Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Part One: The Meeting

Out of all the jobs that Blitz had applied for, he hadn’t expected to get an interview for a club as prestigious at Ozzie’s.

After the final straw at his last job, he had scrambled to get his resume out into the realms of Hell so that he could get another source of income as quickly as possible. He had a shitty apartment in the outskirts of Ransom in the Greed Ring, but the landlords down there were harsh when it came to getting rent in on time. Sometimes they would even evict their clients for not having the money ready to go up to a week before it was due. While Blitz had absolutely hated working in Loo Loo Land, the degradation of being forced into a mockery of clown makeup to perform in front of screaming kids and asshole parents was going to make him destroy the entire thing one day, he knew that he should have stuck with it while job searching. He had never been more stressed than he was with homelessness hovering over his head for the second time in his life.

It had been a breath of fresh, non-smog air when he had finally gotten the call from one of his potential new employers to inform him that they were willing to see his work and considered him as an actual applicant for the job. So, Blitz had broken into the local gym so that he could practice all night before it opened so he could be prepared. He hadn’t had money for a proper outfit to perform in or his own silks, which was why he’d had to break into the gym.

The interview had gone really well, though. Blitz had always been really good with the silks and hoop, his mother had shown him how to do it in the Lust style as that was where she was raised before she was adopted by her mothers. She had loved getting to share that bit of her culture with her children and so nothing that Cash said had ever discouraged her from doing it. It meant that he was able to do the drops better than anyone else as he had been doing them since he was a very young child. He thought that he was out of practice when he arrived, but by the time he had seen some of the other performers auditioning he knew that the job was meant for him. He was able to adapt his favorite routine to what the interviewers requested of him and flew through it to the beat of the music that they were pumping through the speakers.

Blitz was so grateful for his mother doing that for him now that he was standing in the center of his apartment with the confirmation that he had gotten the job being spoken into his ear.

He scrambled for a paper and pen, writing down the time he was supposed to arrive and the closest approximation of the name he had been given to check in with down. “Fuck yes!” he cheered as soon as the phonecall ended and he was left in his apartment. He rushed around the place as he got his things in order, mostly just grabbing the remnants of his makeup and a waterbottle since he didn’t trust whatever the club was going to be providing him with.

He had to leave more than an hour early to be able to make it to Lust in time. The infrastructure of Greed was far worse than the rest of the Rings because of the nature of the Sin that ran it and the Overlords that controlled certain cities. None of them wanted to spend their well earned money on something that would benefit another person, only themselves. While houses were ornate and expensive, driveways paved so that they almost sang when a car was driven over them, the roads and office buildings looked as though they were a sneeze or two away from turning into dust. There were also very few street signs that could be followed because many of them had been stolen and then melted down so that the lower demons could earn an extra dollar or two. Both of those things combined to make it an absolute nightmare to drive all the way from Ransom to the car-equipped elevators so that he could go to Lust.

He arrived quite a bit more frustrated than he had been before, but those thoughts were almost immediately wiped from his mind when he remembered that he got to perform again. He had wanted to go back to performing almost as soon as he had gotten kicked out of the circus, it was something that he knew and was thus comforting. He had tried to do that at Loo Loo Land but apparently Mammon thought that clowns other than him deserved to be splattered with tomatoes and chastised when they didn’t land a joke just perfectly. Blitz had always been a better acrobat than a clown anyway, so this job was going to fit him far better.

He parked his car in the parking space that was allotted for employees and then gathered his things. He walked to the back door, still glancing down at the sheet of instructions that he had been given, and then knocked. He only had to wait for a second before a tall succubus with pale green skin and two large bat wings clinging to her shoulders opened it. “Can I help you?”

“I’m the new aerial dancer,” Blitz blurted out at once. “I was told to meet someone named Starla?”

“She’s the choreographer for the club, I’ll show you to her office,” the succubus said. She moved away from the door and then walked further into the club.

Blitz had spent a lot of time in bars when he was recovering from the fire and even before then, when he had been made to go and pick Cash up from wherever he was drinking that night. Ozzie’s was different than all the bars he had been in before. It was a club with a lot of sex, first of all, and secondly it was a lot classier than those bars had been. The walls all had high quality wallpaper covered plaster on them, instead of poorly painted cinderblocks or bricks. The floor wasn’t sticky in the slightest and every step on it made it become evident that it was also real hardwood. The lighting in the back hallways was white and bright so that it was easy to pass by all of the doors, each one of them with a name and a picture of the person that got to occupy it. A couple of the doors led to offices instead of dressing rooms, those being propped open or with a window in the wall next to the door so that the person working inside could be seen from the hallway.

“I look forward to seeing you in rehearsal,” the succubus that had led Blitz through the halls said as she gave him a small wave. She seemed to be actually friendly with him instead of just trying to get into his pants. Something that no one had told him about the Greed Ring when he was a kid was that people just kind of took what they wanted, even from other people. All the hookups that he’d had since moving there after the accident had been very forceful. Some people refused to even take no for an answer and had to be smashed upside the head before he seemed like a low enough investment that they wouldn’t pursue him any further. Lust didn’t seem to be like that even though the demons up here had the magic to seduce hellborns and humans alike.

“Thanks,” Blitz said awkwardly late as he watched her go down the hall. He turned around and then opened the office door so that he could poke his head inside.

“Hello? Are you the new hire that I was told about?” the demon behind the desk asked. She was a stout sinner with green fur that was smoothed back around her face so that it came to a lazy point on her cheeks. She had a pair of cat ears on her head but her fingers were very human, with the exception of the long nails that were at the tips. She was dressed in a pantsuit made of silk and the same color purple as the walls outside.

“Uh, yeah,” he nodded. He had been so much more eloquent in the interview, but he was nervous now. It was so much easier to pretend that he was someone cooler than life and better than everyone else when he knew that there were basically no stakes. A lot of the jobs that he applied for he was barely qualified to do, so he had been a little loose when it came to being interviewed. He was good at this job and had secured it, so he didn’t want to lose it by being too much himself during his first rehearsal.

“My name is Madame Purrs. I know the pun, I believe that was why I was given this form. Now if you would follow me,” the woman said as she motioned with one hand. They walked down more of the perfect hallways until they got to another dressing room. The door had a piece of paper taped onto it with the name that Blitz had given them when he had interviewed, but the actual plaque and picture were both empty. He hoped that he would be good enough to get the same treatment that everyone else had one day, it had been his hope for as long as he could remember thanks to his father.

She opened the door as she said, “Each of our performers gets their own dressing room. This is because everyone employed by Ozzie’s is given the go ahead to earn extra money by sleeping with guests and thus you need a private space with which to entertain them. It’s advised that you keep your makeup and costumes here so that you can change quickly when you’re scheduled to be out on the floor. If one of the customers that you’ve previously slept with begins to harass you in your dressing room or even out on the street, please inform management so that we can handle it. I’ll see you down the hall on the main floor once you’ve changed into the outfit we had prepared for you.”

Blitz knew that he had put his measurements down on the application that he had filed, but he hadn’t realized that they already would have gotten him something to wear so that he could perform that night. He thanked Madame Purrs and then stepped into the room so that he could get ready. The door swung shut behind him, heavy and likely sound proof so that he wouldn’t disturb the people that were passing down the hall if he had a customer back there. He wasn’t expecting to be given such a large space when he had just started out, but the entire thing was beginning to become more exciting the longer that he delved into it.

His eyes flicked over every single part of the dressing room. There was a large curtain set up over what he assumed to be the closet, and when he opened it he was confirmed on that suspicion based on the singular costume inside. Next to the closet was a screen where he could change quickly and privately even if there were other people in his space. There was a massive vanity against the wall between the door into the dressing room and the closet, with lots of lights that had a variety of settings labeled on the switches next to them. Across from that was a couch, plush and the same deep velvet color as the walls outside. There were a couple throw pillows and even a blanket tastefully arranged on the back. Along the walls were a bunch of empty picture frames that Blitz assumed people could keep posters in from their past advertised performances. 

He set his bag down on the table and then unpacked it. The makeup took up a laughably small section of the massive vanity. He knew that he would fill it up once he had a reasonable wage instead of the bullshit that Mammon had been paying him for the backbreaking performances he had put on for snot nosed kids.

Blitz set out a breath to calm himself and then got to work. He removed his street clothes and left them in a neat pile on the vanity before he did his makeup so that his features would show when he was up in the air and the disappeared out of the door. He found the rehearsal room and was quickly acquainted with the people that would be working around him because the first night of performances that he was doing were solo.

---

Blitz had been rehearsing for hours and knew the choreo like the back of his claws. He knew that he could do this, and yet there were still nerves grasping at his stomach like they were trying to drown him. He had been performing for his entire life and he had never been that scared beforehand. He had been thrust out in front of people more times than he could count only to embarrass himself by fucking up a trick or landing on his head or making a horse that had no legs. He had never been scared of being on stage during that time, only what would happen to him when he got off.

He supposed that might have been part of the reason he was so scared to go on stage now. The clientele was expecting something erotic and mystifying, something to watch in the background while they let hands wander all over their partners or got their dicks sucked by floor workers. Blitz had never done work like that before and he was scared to try it for the first time. He was also so excited that he felt like he was going to swallow his own tongue once he actually got the chance.

The person performing after his was over gave his hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement when the current host of Ozzie’s introduced Blitz’s stage name. It felt good to be called by something that he had picked for himself instead of something that was given to him because it was marketable or easier to say when drunk.

Blitz hurried out onto the stage when all the lights in the club dimmed. He hooked his hands through the top of the silk after wrapping it twice around his wrists so that he could be secure. He then draped some of the red fabric over his chest to hide his outfit as he leaned back. The spotlight came on at the same time as the music, letting him know that the performance had finally started. 

The music that they had picked had a deep base and a sultry voice attached to it. He knew that the pop star Verosika Mayday often performed at Ozzie’s since the sin that owned the place was her patron, but he hadn’t expected one of her songs to be so openly sexual given what she usually played for the majority of Hell. He supposed that it made sense since they were in a sex club and she was a succubus, but it still surprised him every time he heard that voice singing those lyrics.

He writhed forward so that the silks draped off of him and onto the ground. The costume that he had gotten for this performance was a piece of sexy lingerie that clung to his body in all the right places. The bodice was a corset with thick black wire that ran over his body in three inch increments, cupping his small tits to bring attention to his dark nipples. They were matched to panties, which clipped onto a pair of dark black garters and stockings that had the same lace pattern as the rest of the outfit. He had forgone the mask that they had offered to him to keep his identity more secret since he didn’t care much about that.

He moved back and forth with the beat of the music, forming the splits before the silks began to pull him upwards. He swung around in a lazy circle so that everyone could get a good view of his outfit and it was obvious that he was held onto it by bound hands. He felt weightless as he was pulled up slowly into the air. As soon as he reached the top, he pressed his legs together and then wound the fabric around his calves and ankles before he freed his wrists and then fell down backwards.

He was hanging upside down as he rotated slowly, showing everyone the majesty of his body while they gasped and awed at him. His entire body felt charged with the attention that they were giving him and he knew that this was going to become addictive. He got more into it as things went on, enjoying himself with every reaction that he got from the crowd gathered in the bar. He could feel a pair of eyes boring into him from one of the private boxes where the high paying customers spent their time, so he knew that he was more likely to get a visitor at his dressing room when his performance was over.

He gave a grand bow when he was finished with the song and sauntered off the stage. There had been clapping and whistling for every single one of the performances since what they were doing was very challenging, but he noticed with a decent amount of haughty pride that his was loudest.

Giddy excitement flew through him and made him feel like he was vibrating or like he was still twirling around in the air. It made his fingers and toes tingle and his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It had been so long since he had felt like that after a performance that he almost felt drunk on it. There was something so tantalizingly wonderful about being the subject of someone’s arousal, and he knew that he was because that was the point of the club. Blitz had always been fascinated by sex and being the object of someone’s desire. He liked being able to get that feeling going in someone by doing something provocative of flirting in just the right way. Having a job as a sex worker gave him exactly that because he was able to forgo the normal social constructs that sex was somehow something holy or that should only be shared between a certain set of people. He could have as much sex as he wanted without people thinking that he was a somehow debauched or that there was something wrong with him, because it was his job and he was working in the Lust ring where that was easily accepted.

 He could still feel the silk pressing up against his body through the lace and on the bare parts of his body. He could still feel the eyes from the special guest in the upper box boring into him and watching every minute movement that he made when he was twirling around the stage with his hands roaming over his body. The clapping and cheering and whistling and smell of arousal was heady in Blitz’s head as he closed the door to his dressing room.

He sat down on the bench in front of his vanity and took the makeup wipes that one of his coworkers had gifted him when they had ended rehearsal to open up the show. He was going to clean up and then head home for the night, excited that he was earning the salary that was going to allow him to search for a better apartment.

A knock on the door sent a shiver through his body unlike anything that he had ever felt before. Before he got up to answer, Blitz checked himself in the mirror and swore that he saw his mother. He knew that he looked like an imp, like his father, but he could see so many succubus-only features oozing out of him in that moment. He almost had the same magical aura that she had always had when she was performing in the circus, before she got sick.

Blitz shook his head to rid himself of the thought before he stood up and answered the door. He let his eyes stay down at the floor for a moment as he got the door all the way opened and then leaned against the frame. He was putting his body on display for the customer that had been enthralled enough by his first performance to come and enquire after him. He knew that the more private shows were a secret that was kept very poorly, to prevent the more famous stars from being overrun with fans that could violate boundaries. 

“Hello there,” he greeted. “I take it you’ve come to sample the goods instead of just ogling them?”

The demon on the other side of the door was a touch taller than him, the usual height for pure concubus instead of a hybrid like himself and his sister. They had dark blue skin that was complimented by the black lipstick and eyeliner that they were wearing for makeup. Their horns were tall and curved inward and out, the thin white lines in between the black glowing a faint blue to show their arousal. Their hair was styled back in neat braids, bright blue in color and hanging around their face and shoulders to bring attention to high collarbones and sharp cheekbones. Their outfit was a blue and white striped corset over the top of a fishnet top, complimented by a pleated black skirt that fell all the way to midcalf and kitten heels. It was a cross between the modern punk movement that humans were bringing down when they became sinners and the traditional fifties era American housewife and Blitz couldn’t get enough of it.

“I was hoping that I would be allowed to. What do you think, beautiful?” the incubus asked. Usually Blitz wasn’t able to tell if someone was one of the three, but it was easy to tell with the demon in front of him. They radiated energy that made Blitz want to buckle and be consumed, something that he hadn’t gotten in so long. He felt good as something inside of him bloomed with warmth, similar to how he had felt on stage but different in a way.

“Depends. Are you gonna share a name I can scream out while you’re pounding me into that couch? I haven’t actually had a chance to break it in yet,” Blitz tried to give his best bedroom eyes. The last time he had attempted that, his partner had laughed and it had killed the mood immediately after.

The incubus stepped forward, leaning down so that they were a hair’s breadth apart and that was like drinking pure H8, something he never wanted to forget. “My name is Asmodeus, but if you’re inviting me in then you might as well call me daddy.”

He should have been scared by that. He shouldn’t have been so turned on by the idea of riding the King of Lust and Prince of Hell’s cock, but he was. He knew that it might be a bad idea to get involved with royalty given what had happened last time, and the fact that he was still technically owned by the Duke Paimon and his son, but he couldn’t think about that in the moment. He couldn’t think about how he might lose his job and be out on the streets again, or how this could tear his world apart at the seams. 

Instead, all he focused on was the feeling of desire that was coursing through him and making him feel powerful. He was drunk on the feeling, clinging to it with both hands like it would run away from him if he loosened his grip in the slightest.

---

Part 2: The Pregnancy

Over the past three months, Blitz began to notice peculiar changes in his body.

Some of them were good and very easy to explain. His chest and face filled out when he was getting the proper nutrients, something he likely hadn’t gotten since he was a very young child and the circus was doing exceptionally well due to his mother. His skin had also cleared up and evened out now that he was using the proper equipment to take care of it, thanks to some of the people that he worked with at the club. He noticed that he was also building muscle in his back and legs from the work that he was doing. It was nice to see his body taking the shape that his mother’s had been when she was around his age, at least from the pictures that he had seen of her.

Some of the other things that he was experiencing were strange. He began to crave fruits and vegetables something fierce, which meant that he was eating in Sloth and Pride a lot more than he had been before. Lust had a fair amount of fruits, but almost all of the foods that weren’t really expensive were the ones said to bring someone’s libido up or make them aroused. Pride had a lot of fruit thanks to the king preserving the orchards that the native people had planted there back before the fall. Sloth had vegetables because they were slow to grow and easy to produce. A lot of the staples of the diet that were shipped around were grown in Wrath, but they were overproduced and not as sweet because they weren’t able to get the nutrients from the soil like the foods produced in other rings were. It was a bit more expensive to source so much of his diet from rings that he didn’t live in, but it was the only thing that he could do to make his mind shut up about those types of foods.

While the skin on his face had begun to even out with the use of the beauty products offered to him by his coworkers, he noticed that he was beginning to develop some zits and bumps near his horns and around the spines on his back. It was uncomfortable and not something that had ever happened to him before, but it was pretty easy to excuse as his body reacting to the change in substances since he was using new products and working out far more than he had before.

Something that was far harder to pass off as nothing was the way that his clothing was beginning to fit. He had expected some things to begin to change when he began to build muscle from working out every day. He hadn’t expected the size of his hips to continue to widen with every passing week. He had to take his costumes to be tailored by the club seamstress almost every week, he could tell that she was growing very fed up with him by the end of it. No one had commented on the way that his body was shifting as he worked, especially since he was able to complete his job despite it.

He did notice that was beginning to get more difficult. He was tired all the time, for one. All he wanted to do was curl up in the big comfy bed in his apartment, the mattress now elevated off the floor and free of the bugs that had been on it when he had found it, and sleep for the duration of the day. He found himself sneaking backstage between his performances on days where he was appearing in multiple different routines so that he could pass out at his desk. He was glad that the sinners had updated the technology in Hell so that he could have a phone to wake him up if that was going to be the case, at least. Something that the new technology could not help him with was the fact that his center of balance was all out of wack, causing him to have to overcorrect when he was doing drops at certain times.

There was one thing that had changed that he knew he couldn’t ignore. One symptom that pulled all the others together in a neat little bow so that they were blowing up in his face, telling him the path that was laid out ahead of him was going to be a terror to deal with. It was so serious that he had been unable to look it in the face and accept that it was even there.

Throughout his entire life, Blitz had always had spotty menstrual cycles. His mother functioned as the nurse and midwife for the tribe, so she had been the one to inform him that as a hybrid, his body wasn’t as up to par as it might have been if he was entirely imp or concubus. He had longer cycles than other demons did because imps had a period of fertility every other month, regardless of their gender while concubus mirrored humans after the ten thousand years that they had spent going up to earth and seducing them into the sin of Lust. It meant that his cycles came about every forty five days and that was incredibly hard to keep track of, especially when he wasn’t getting enough food to have his body’s systems working as they usually should.

It had been three months since he had last woken up to bleeding between his legs.

He had been able to brush it off during the first two months as his body figuring things out now that all of his needs were being met and he was being more active than he had been before. There was no ignoring it now that ninety days had passed by without even a tiny cramp.

So, he rose early on the day that he had late afternoon rehearsal and popped down to the store at the end of the street from his apartment. Everything in Greed was marked up as high as the shop owner could get away with and still sell something, so the pregnancy test took everything in his pockets and a bit off his card as well. He was glad that he was able to pay for it in majority cash so that his bank wouldn’t have a trace of his panicked suspicion on it.

He returned to his apartment and fled to the bathroom, tugging down his pants while opening the box with his other hand. He hadn’t been this scared for a test result to come back since he had taken a pregnancy test with his mother as a teenager. He and Fizz had just been fooling around back then, before Blitz had caught feelings and then begun to run himself in circles. That had been when Tilla had examined him and determined that his cycles were just going to be a little off for the rest of his life thanks to the way that his body had been made.

This was a lot more serious. He had all the symptoms that he had learned about while he was studying the later half of her job, on top of missing his period for three months. He knew that it was possibly he had conceived even though he had assumed that his awkward menstruation was going to make it really difficult to do so. He should have been more careful so that he could have just brushed this off and not even thought about it. Instead, he had raw dogged the King of Lust and now his womb might have signed his death warrant.

Blitz tried to get the thought out of his head as he finished peeing. He set the test down on the tiny counter of his bathroom and began to scrub his hands after replacing the cap. It was hard to not just stare at the little window for the result to show up and tell him if he was properly fucked or not.

He let out a little snort at the pun that he had made in his own head, which eased the anxiety that was swirling around in the pit of his stomach. That feeling flared back up tenfold when he realized that it was possible he was feeling morning sickness for the first time. He had to run his hand over the base of his horns and back of his neck to ground him, something that his mother had done frequently when he was upset about something.

The hybrid finally reached down for the test, his claws shaking slightly due to the anxiety that was coursing through him. If he was pregnant, then there was a chance that he wouldn’t be able to keep his apartment because the landlords in Greed were always looking for a chance to take their property back. He could also lose his job, not only because it was harder to do silks when pregnant but because he was pregnant with the boss’ baby.

“Don’t panic before you know what you’re panicking about, dickhead,” Blitz reminded himself. He held the pregnancy test, with the little window down, for what had to be another five minutes before he finally got the gall to flip it over. He had splurged for one of the ones with the digital screen that said the word ‘pregnant’ or ‘not pregnant’ depending on the level of HCG detected, that way he didn’t have to worry about the whole process of trying to figure out how many lines and what color meant that he was pregnant.

He felt his heart stop, start again, and then sink low into his gut as he read the result that was staring up at him. All the signs had been there and if he was more confident in the abilities and knowledge his mother had given him, he would have assumed that he was pregnant already. This was just the confirmation that he needed so that the information stuck and felt like it was well and truly real.

Blitz placed the test down on the counter like he had before and then looked at himself in the mirror. The fuller face could be a symptom of the pregnancy, he knew that plenty of people began to gain weight all over their body in preparation for breast feeding when the newborn was actually there. The tiredness but lack of bags under his eyes made sense now too, it took extra energy to grow another human inside of his womb. The off balance was the thing that scared him the most, especially since he was a twin. 

He placed his hand on the bottom of his shirt and then pulled it back around his waist so that it was entirely taut. He turned to the side and then felt his breath hitch in his throat. Before, his stomach had been almost concave since he had been nothing more than skin and bones thanks to his frugal food budget. Now, it was domed out. He hadn’t noticed right away because everything in his body was changing as his body bulked up. Now, it was screaming in his face that it was the beginning of a bump. It didn’t even look like the bloating that he got before his period, it was already forming into the teardrop shape that came with the second trimester.

The fear that was gripping his nerve endings was enough to make him force it out of his mind and not think on it any longer. If he kept going over how much time he had left to get all his affairs in order before his life collapsed around him then he was going to have a breakdown. He didn’t have time for another breakdown, the panic over his pregnancy had already eaten up all the time he had before he had to drive to Lust for his work.

---

Blitz was glad that his mother had taught him so much before her passing when he was seventeen. It meant that he was able to watch for any signs of danger in his pregnancy without splashing money he didn’t have out on a doctor’s appointment. The insurance that he had with Ozzie’s was pretty good, but he knew that if he went to see an OB then they would have to report it back to his work. 

He was showing pretty significantly now, the bump that he had noticed after taking the test expanding just a little bit with every day. He knew that his boss and coworkers had to notice that his body was changing more than it would have just because he was taking care of himself. A bit of pudge on his belly, or even a gut for that matter, was going to look a lot different than a baby bump. He performed in basically no clothing, which meant that it was impossible to hide his belly when he was at work. Despite that, no one had said anything to him and were simply just treating him a bit differently. He never had to get his own water bottle during rehearsal and he was always given a bit of the baked goods that were brought in before everyone else was. Something else that made him uncomfortable had appended at work, which was that he had begun to get some rather excited customers that spent most of their time worshiping his stomach due to it. He was turning more people away from his dressing room, which was again made easier based on the fact that his coworkers were oddly protective over him.

Still, them knowing that he was pregnant was different than the boss at the top of the club finding out that he was expecting. He had tried to go through the employee handbook on his own to figure out what the stance on pregnancy and parent employees were, but the words were too much for him. He had struggled to read Impish when he was a child due to the fact that the letters would jumble themselves around in his head, but he struggled to read the common language of Hell because he had taut it to himself and his glass eye sometimes made him have a headache when he was attempting it. So that had been a futile waste of an afternoon and another reason why he decided that he wasn’t going to be able to go to a hospital to get his pregnancy checked out.

Instead, he just checked himself over. Before every single show, he would lay back on his couch and palpate his belly to try and find the location of the baby. His womb was firm and malleable, allowing him to feel the head or bum of the baby when he pressed down in just the right place. That, on top of eating and sleeping better than he had before let him think that things were going pretty well with his pregnancy.

He kept pushing on for the next month, until he felt those eyes boring into him from that private box again. He was in a group performance this time, which was one of his least favorite ways to perform now. He liked it when he was twirling around on the stage and drawing the eyes of the crowd to only him because he was the only thing that they could look at. It was harder to do when he was a background performer for Verosika’s special shows or when he was performing with some of the larger names that drew bigger crowds to the club.

It was strange to be hoisted up into the air, wrapping the silk around his feet and legs to support him as he went, and feel the eyes on him. He knew that a few people that liked the way his body looked, growing heavy with child, were going to be paying attention to him over the others, but this was different. The presence watching him was wrapped around his body like the silk, though it was warm instead of cool on his exercise-feverish skin. It made his insides feel as though they had been melted down into soup, it made him feel special and cherished again despite the fact that he wasn’t doing much.

He stumbled back to his dressing room when his night was over, trying to keep his knees properly supporting him. He felt almost drunk on the attention that he had gotten when he was out on stage. He hadn’t felt like this in months, not since the King of Lust had stopped coming to the club and watching him perform. He collapsed down onto the couch in his room, his hands immediately going to his stomach as he began to palpate to locate the baby and make sure they were still safe.

A knock on the door to his dressing room brought him out of his motions. He knew that he couldn’t just call for them to come in since it was after a show and that might mean it was a customer. If he invited a customer into his room, it was far harder to get them out than it was to slam the door in their face to let them know that they really weren’t wanted and needed to stop pushing. Blitz’s stomach growled as he hoped that it was another one of his coworkers with something sweet to eat.

He opened the door and then his breath was sucked from his lungs as it had been all those months ago. He was met again with Asmodeus, the King of Lust and the Prince of Hell. He was dressed in a pinestripe suit, a belt around the waist to bring attention to the natural curves of his body. Everything else about him was exactly the same as it had been back when they had first crossed paths, which made Blitz irrationally angry.

The anger was there for a couple of seconds before it drained out of him and all he could focus on was the panic of the situation that he found himself in. He had kept the pregnancy a secret specifically so that it wouldn’t go to the upper management of the club and get him in trouble, but now the other father and the owner of the entire ring was standing in front of him like it was no big deal. “Anything I can do for you, Your Sinfulness?” Blitz asked. He could hear the warble in his voice that gave away how scared he was, but around that he was able to get everything else out as naturally as possible.

“I think that you can, friend,” Ozzie replied. He bowed his head towards the rest of the room and the message was clear. This wasn’t a conversation that either of them wanted to have out in the open hallway like this, it was a private matter and should be treated as such.

Blitz stepped backwards and let the Sin enter his room before he shut the door securely behind him. He grabbed the robe that was hanging on the edge of the vanity mirror and wrapped it around his body so that he wasn’t as exposed as he was before. He didn’t know what it mattered, the king had been inside of him four months ago and had seen his mostly naked body out on stage only ten minutes prior. It wasn’t like there was anything that he needed to hide or could hide anymore.

The two of them stood in the dressing room in silence, neither of them daring to speak the secret that hung in the midst  of the two of them. “Is it mine? Is that why you didn’t tell me?” Ozzie asked, his voice slightly broken when it finally sliced through the space between them.

“It is, the baby is yours,” Blitz said, shaking his head so that he could correct himself before a misunderstanding could get him smote. He wasn’t even sure if Sins could do that, but he knew that they all used to be angels, or at least most of them were. He hadn’t learned a lot of history outside of what the tribes had done to help Lucifer when he had fallen. He knew that the youngest of the Sins, Wrath, was born in Hell and had an angelic form but was different than the others had been. He was fairly certain that Ozzie was an angel that had been born from Lucifer in Heaven, but he wasn’t certain.

Regardless, he knew that he was deep in trouble now. The other being had likely thought that he was using protection when they had sex together, so he hadn’t even suggested a condom. Blitz was the one that was stupid enough to think that he couldn’t get pregnant when he was also half succubus. He should have known better and yet he didn’t, so he was standing in a stuffy dressing room with his womb swollen with the future bastard of the Lust Ring.

“I’m going to have a baby,” Ozzie whispered. His black-blue eyes widened with shock as he sank down onto the couch where said baby had been created.

“You don’t have to,” Blitz said as he touched his stomach. He robe did manage to do a decent amount to make it less obvious, but he felt like he was already huge despite being only four months into the process. “I-I mean, I don’t want to have an abortion but given that you’re the King it’s not like I can really say no to you. If you let me continue with the pregnancy then I promise that you’ll never hear anything from either of us. I won’t make you pay child support and I’ll keep it a secret. You won’t have to do parenting or take care of me or anything.”

“What are you talking about?”

Blitz knew that he had been rambling, but he was fairly certain that the words coming out of his mouth made more sense than didn’t. He closed his jaw so hard that his teeth clicked uncomfortably in his mouth, but he could barely even think about that. He took a step back from the Sin as he said, “You didn’t ask for this and I’m not going to baby trap you.”

“I may not have asked for this, but it’s happening. It’s also not baby trapping if you didn’t have sex with me with the intent of getting pregnant so that I could never leave your life,” Ozzie replied. “Do you know why they call me the weakest of the Sins?”

“Uh, no,” Blitz shook his head. He thought that it might help soothe the royal’s ego if he were to say something about how he didn’t think that Ozzie was, but in truth he knew barely anything about the royals outside of how abusive they were to the people that they viewed as beneath them. He didn’t really feel like admitting how shit the education in his circus had been at the moment, though, so he left it at that.

“Lust is not something that is damaging, it is something that creates and flourishes when it is nurtured,” he beamed. “It’s not like the other Sins, where something has to be taken or forced. It is something that is shared between two, so it seems less powerful but is actually more because it takes two souls for one action. Lust, in its purest form, is something that must be done between two people and granted with want from both. If it’s not, then it’s greed or pride or wrath. What we did was fall entirely into lust, and sometimes children are created through that.”

“So what are you saying?” Blitz asked. As much as he loved the husky sound of the sin’s voice, he did want to get to the bottom of the situation. He was exhausted and wanted to go home so that he could sleep on his much improved mattress, even if it was still more uncomfortable that the couch in his dressing room. His eyes flicked over to the aforementioned piece of furniture as he began to debate whether or not he could get away with sleeping there when he wanted.

“I’m saying that I’m going to take responsibility for lust, as it is my sin. I want to help you raise this child if you will allow me to,” Ozzie beamed. He was so pretty when he smiled, it was like his entire body was radiating the light and beauty that he carried inside of him. Blitz knew now why the sins had been produced in Heaven before they had fallen. He began to wonder what actual angels, the one that lived to God’s standards, looked like if this was the ethereal being that had been cast down first.

He fidgeted for a while, toying with the end of the belt on his robe. “I do. I want to be able to give this kid their best shot at life and I’m not totally confident that’s going to be with me. Every kid also deserves a chance to have both their parents in their life so that they don’t have to worry about what they did to make said parent hate them enough to leave,” he was letting a lot more of his trauma show than he thought he would. He shook his head to remove the tears that were welling in the corners of his eyes and took a deep breath, “What I mean, outside of these stupid fucking pregnancy hormones, is that I will totally do the coparenting thing with you.”

“Wonderful!” Ozzie beamed. He held his arms out and asked, “Is it alright if I hug you?”

“You have been inside of me, why do you care about consent for hugging?” he laughed. It was strange to think about the fact that a part of Ozzie was still inside of Blitz, a being that was half the Sin and half the hybrid. He wondered if his child would be mostly concubus or if they would be a forth of Blitz’s parents and half angel.

Ozzie’s hands dropped down to his lap and his beautiful brow creased with stress. “Blitz, just because you consented once doesn’t mean that you’ve consented to every time after that. You are a person and your body is yours to control. It’s why I wouldn’t have been upset if you had aborted the fetus.”

That made something inside of Blitz release and relax. Ozzie trusted him to go through with the pregnancy or terminate it based on what he wanted his body to go through, he didn’t want to terminate because the baby inside of Blitz’s womb was going to be his bastard. Maybe the Sins didn’t care as much about that as the Goetia families did. He sniffled as he tried hard to hold back tears, really not used to people caring for him like that.

“You can hug me,” he finally managed to get out, his voice wet and drowned in a sob.

Ozzie reached out and wrapped his arms around the hybrid, bringing him into a warm hug. It made that feeling inside of him bloom and burst out like a flower that had finally gotten enough water to reveal all of its petals to the sun instead of just enough to form the reaction within its stem. He felt more like himself and more like a stranger than he ever had in his entire life. He could almost taste the nervousness rolling off of Ozzie in waves, but there was an undercurrent of trust and excitement as well.

He pulled back from him after a minute or two, when he had finished crying. He pulled himself up and pulled his clothing bag out. He said, “I kinda need to go home so that I can continue to bake the kid, but I want to keep talking about this. Do you think that you could give me your number or something? A burner is probably fine too, just so that I have a way to text you dates of appointments or when the kid is here or something.”

“If you think that I’m going to leave your side when you’re giving birth then you’re stole cold wrong. Unless you don’t want me in the birthing room, in which that is entirely your choice,” Ozzie said as he pulled out his phone. He pulled up his number and then handed it to Blitz so that the hybrid could write it down in his own device. 

Blitz didn’t have the energy to process what he had said, so he immediately put it out of his mind and then said, “Thank you for not firing me. I don’t know what the club’s policy is about pregnancy, but I’m not even sure that fucking thing would apply to me seeing as I went right up to the top.”

“You’ll get paid leave until you’re fully healed and back up to performing. We don’t like it when people are being physical while their bodies are injured,” Ozzie said. “Goodnight, Blitz. It was wonderful to see you perform again.”

---

Blitz slept for almost twelve hours when he finally got back to his apartment. It was the best sleep he’d had in a long time, since he knew his job was secure and his kid was going to have one stable parent in their life.

When he woke up, he dragged himself to the bathroom and then got some breakfast. It felt nice to be showered and fed, especially after also being so well rested. If someone had told him what pregnancy would do to his ability to take care of himself he would have laughed in their faces, but he honestly felt better now than he had since he was a teenager and working for his father in the circus.

He didn’t even mind when his phone chirped as Ozzie texted him. He picked it up and scanned through it before his stomach sank down into the black pit inside of him. The King was asking about when his next appointment was, which meant that he had to admit that he hadn’t been to a doctor yet. 

After about ten minutes of writing, editing, and deleting, he had finally come up with the message. He explained about the training that his mother had given him when she was alive and how he had been using that since he didn’t want to alert anyone about his pregnancy lest he get in trouble at work. Surprisingly, the Sin was very kind and understanding about the matter. He and Blitz talked for a while longer about the medical plan that they wanted to pursue during the pregnancy and eventually worked out that Blitz would start seeing an OB now that the pregnancy wasn’t something that would get him in trouble.

That was how they had ended up where they were.

The waiting room for the obstetrician that the king had suggested was a nice enough place, certainly better than the hospital in Greed that Blitz had been to when he was a kid. The walls had some tasteful paintings of mothers with their babies, thankfully all the beings were different than each other so that it didn’t feel like the clinic was meant for one type of demon and not others. The receptionist was across from the double glass doors and had been very nice when Blitz had approached her to check in. There were plush chairs and couches spread all around the waiting room, each of them a different height to accommodate the different demons that would come to visit. 

Ozzie was back in his incubus form, a good way to keep his real identity from the people around him and a better way for him to fit in the buildings meant for smaller beings than his sin form. Something about that form also brought a great deal of comfort to Blitz and made him feel like more of a person than he had in a good long while. He was able to lean against the other being for comfort whenever the doors opened. For some reason, being out in public in a place he had never been to was really unnerving for him.

It felt like he had already been there for an eternity when the doors into the back of the clinic finally opened up and someone called his name. He was on his feet as quickly as he could be with the heavy weight of his womb sitting against his hips. It had only been about two weeks since he had told Ozzie about his pregnancy, but he already felt like it was far more real than it had been when he was keeping it a secret. Blitz may have been more agile that most pregnant people were due to his job and the natural form of his body, but that didn’t mean he was a spry as he had been with twenty or so less pounds of fluid and baby inside of him.

“If you two would just follow me back this way,” the nurse said as she lead them through the maze of halls to a little alcove. It had two chairs, a scale built into the ground, and a basket full of all kinds of things that Blitz wouldn’t be able to name despite his medical training. “We need to take your weight and a couple other vitals before we get started, just so that we have a good baseline of where you are so we can watch for things like high blood pressure or increased heart rate. Are you alright with that?”

The nurse was far kinder than any of the medical staff had been after the fire, which put Blitz at ease. He knew that he had to get medical assistance during his pregnancy and Ozzie felt most at ease with this hospital since it was one of the many that his Aunt Belphegore founded, but he was still fighting off the memories that night had left him. “Uh, yeah, that’s fine. Do I need to take off my shoes or jacket or anything?” he asked. He hadn’t even realized that his hand was resting on his belly until he had moved it to his jacket and suddenly it felt like he was even more exposed than he would’ve been if he was naked.

“Unless you’re carrying a dictionary or rocks in your pockets, you should be good,” the nurse replied as she nodded her head to the scale.

Blitz glanced back at Ozzie and then felt the tension in his shoulders melt away when he saw that warm, reassuring smile on the king’s face. He stepped onto the scale and didn’t even flinch when the nurse moved around him so that she could press the button to take a snapshot of his weight. She wrote down the number and asked, “Could you sit in the chair and take off your jacket? We need to take your blood pressure and heart rate.”

“Right,” Blitz nodded as he sat down heavily in the chair. He removed his jacket and handed it to Ozzie, who took it and folded it up like it was a priceless heirloom and not the most beat up thing that hadn’t come out of a dumpster in all of Hell.

The nurse slipped a heart monitor onto his finger, the one that allowed his claws to rest comfortable on the other side of it while it was snug on his fingertip. The blood pressure band went on his upper arm and he had to turn away while it was inflated. He hadn’t realized quite how much it was going to stress him out to be back in a hospital situation after so long being outside of it. He knew that he wasn’t totally over the fire, given that it had only been about three years, but he had stopped having nightmares about it a long time ago. He thought that it would be easy to replace the bad, foul memories with new ones centering around the King and his baby.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ozzie soothed as he crouched down next to the hybrid. He could have sat down in the other chair, but it was easier for Blitz to see him like this. Even when he was in his incubus form, he was still a bit taller than the other being so if they truly wanted to be the same size then they had to make some adjustments to where they were in space. “Just breathe with me, okay? I know that this is hard.”

His voice was even and steady, that deep rumble that spoke to something deep inside of Blitz and made him feel like he was whole and real. The hybrid watched as the king took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. He followed the movements himself, taking breaths so deep and whole that they filled up his lungs before he let all the air out at once.

He felt more grounded to the time around him and less lost in the past that he had run from. It was easy for him to finish that part of the appointment and walk to the room where the OB would actually be seeing him. He had taken his jacket back from Ozzie by the time that they had gotten there, though he didn’t need it. The sun from the ring nearby was streaming through the window and heating up the room so that it was a pleasant temperature for anyone that was not a living, breathing incubator the way that he was.

“Do you think that everything’s okay?” Blitz asked. “I mean, you saw the way that the nurse looked when she was writing shit down in my chart. What if I already have hypertension or some shit? It’s way too fucking early to induce me into labor.”

The longer that he spoke, the more anxiety he could feel rising inside of him. He had been pretty good about making sure that the body of the baby was still where it had been before, but it was hard to palpate his own abdomen after so much time had passed. He had been able to see the babe growing in his womb, but that didn’t mean that everything was right. While it was the best that they had in the circus, since they couldn’t afford a portable ultrasound or doppler machine, the humans and Sins had created a lot more new technology that could monitor pregnancies more intimately than that. If he had scheduled an appointment with the OB before Ozzie had caught him, then he already would have had at least one ultrasound and the viability of the pregnancy would have been checked as soon as the test came back positive. Instead, he had let fear dominate his choices once again and had forgone all of that until someone else had pushed him into it.

Before he could spiral too much further into his own mind, Ozzie said, “Nothing is going to be wrong with our baby. You’ve been doing a really great job taking care of yourself and I’m sure that’s extended to the pregnancy too.”

Blitz nodded as he took in the words. He had been eating right, sleeping often, and making sure that nothing was ever too hard against his stomach. That had all happened as soon as he had found out that he was expecting, so it was unlikely that he had done any substantial damage to the little baby inside of his womb.

The door then opened as someone poked their head inside. “Is now a good time?”

“Uh, yeah,” Blitz nodded when he realized that both of the other beings around him were waiting for his consent. He wasn’t quite used to being the center of attention in that way, usually when all eyes were on him it was because he was performing or because he had done something that no one liked.

“Wonderful! My name is Dr. Layla, and while I am a sinner I can assure you that you are in the best of hands with me as I was certified by Queen Belphegor’s counsel and the Sin herself,” the doctor said. The door clicked shut behind her so that they were in the privacy of the office. She was speaking quickly and clearly, like it was something she’d had to say a thousand times over to drill it into the heads of her patients.

“I trust you,” Ozzie said. It made sense, since the sinner in front of them was in Sloth and not somewhere like Greed or Pride. Sinners would be deposited into the ring that represented the sin they had been tempted with most when they were alive, which was why there was such a large quantity in Pride. God apparently liked to say that anyone who didn’t worship Him enough was prideful, or at least that was the explanation that Blitz had gotten as a child when he had asked about it.

“Me too,” he said. “I mean, I work with a couple of sinners so you can’t be too bad.”

She chuckled, “Thank you. May I ask who we have supporting you?”

“This is, uh,” Blitz stopped. He wasn’t sure if he should call Ozzie by his nickname or by his full name, given that he was in a smaller form so that he could protect his identity. It was going to come out eventually that the King of Lust had bedded someone hard enough to knock them up with a definite parentage, but that didn’t mean that the information had to come out right now.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to despair for too much longer as the incubus smiled warmly at the doctor and then stuck out his hand. He said, “My name is Ozzie, I’m the other parent.”

“Nice to meet you. Given the wording, I’m assuming that the two of you aren’t together romantically or queerplatonically?” Dr. Layla asked. Her voice was free of all judgment and criticism, which was something that Blitz hadn’t realized how badly he needed. The idea that a couple needed to be married was a very human idea, brought about by something that God had told one of his prophets on earth. Given that God wasn’t one of the deities that controlled and was worshiped in Hell, by beings other than the sinners, nothing that he decreed really applied to them. Within the tribal community, though, it wasn’t common for a child to come from two people that weren’t courting at the very least. Blitz hadn’t been back to visit his tribe since the fire but he still held their possible judgments very close to his heart.

“No, we barely know each other. Kid was a happy fucking accident,” he snorted a little bit at the pun and got an affectionate eye roll from Ozzie. For a brief moment, he wondered what Fizz would have done if he had been there in that moment to see what was happening between the two. Fizz was the only person that Blitz had ever longed for a family life with throughout his entire teenagedom and dating experience.

“Alright, just wanted to make sure so that I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable,” the doctor nodded. She shifted on her stool as she continued with the actual part of the visit, “Now, I’ve noticed that the last visit you had at a hospital, at least that we have on file, was when you were around nineteen. Does that sound about right?”

“Yeah, I’ve never really been one to do the whole ‘checkup’ thing,” Blitz explained as he rolled one hand over itself to dismiss the idea entirely.

“May I ask why? You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal, but if the reason has to do with a fear then I might be able to help you through it so that you have a more comfortable pregnancy,” Dr. Layla explained. One of her eyes blinked before the rest of them did, which was a little distracting from the question.

He glanced over to Ozzie and then back to the doctor. He decided that he was already deep enough in the situationship with the king that disclosing his true status wouldn’t be that big of a deal. After all, the king was spending time with him because Blitz was knocked up with his children instead of because he was dating him, so it wasn’t like it was that big of a betrayal of trust. He took a deep breath before he let the entire thing spill out of his mouth, “Well, I grew up in the circus. We were one of the last remaining imp tribes from before the Fall so it was a way for us to stay together, travel the usual roads, and make money so that we could interact with what Hell has become. It’s not really traditional for tribal imps to go to the doctor at a hospital or to even be near one of them every single year so that we can make appointments. The elevators cost money now, kinda.”

The sinner nodded, blinking at him again. “I can understand how if it wasn’t usual for you to go to the doctor when you were a child then you wouldn’t have done it when you were an adult. I was also unaware that there were imp tribes before the Fall, but I suppose that it makes sense. Thank you for teaching me!”

“We did have someone that checked on people. My mother was the tribe’s nurse and midwife. Taught me a lot of stuff too, which was why I never though that it was important to spend money to go to a doctor when what I did fixed everything well enough,” Blitz shrugged. He spared a glance over to Ozzie and felt his heart beat settle down. He had been so scared to disclose that he was a tribal imp because many of the other demons in Hell considered them to be the lowest of all the creatures that resided in the rings, but Ozzie didn’t seem to be sneering at him or judging him at all.

“Good to know. So I take it you already know a bit about pregnancy? Such as what not to eat and the kinds of exercises that you should be doing to reduce back and hip pain?” the doctor asked, jotting a couple more notes down.

“Yeah, I do. I think you’re the first person that hasn’t doubted my ability to check on my kid,” Blitz chuckled. It was nice to have someone in the hospital respect him. The nurse had been nice enough, but he had seen the way that her eyes widened when he had provided her with the dates of his last cycles and how far along he had to be.

She smiled kindly at him, “In life, I was a trained midwife. I became an obstetrician when I arrived here because it was the standard that made the most amount of people comfortable and allowed me to get a job. Granted, I didn’t expect giving women critical medical care would end me in Hell, but it was nice to continue doing what I loved. I trust you, as a midwife, to know the basics of how to guide a pregnancy through to the finish. I say basics because, unfortunately, when it has to do with our own family or bodies we are a bit biased and can either see the best or the worst in certain actions that may not be as dire as we feared. That’s my job, to listen to you and use my distance from you as a way to diagnose and help you.”

He really liked the sound of that. He had been worried, based on the looks he had gotten from the other staff and the unpleasant interaction with the receptionist over the phone, that this was going to be the worst thing he had subjected himself to since the Mammon concert. Dr. Layla was warm, perfectly professional, and very respectful. He felt good handing his medical care over to her, especially since he knew that it would also help Ozzie feel better.

“So should we get started?” he asked.

“I think that we should!” she replied chipperly. 

She had Blitz lay down and then palpated his belly with one hand to get the fundal height before she reported it to the imp. It was exactly the dates that he had in his own mind, especially since there was only one or two days between when the baby could have been conceived as he and Ozzie had seen each other rather briefly again after the first night they had spent together. She had a nurse come in and take some blood so that they could run routine samples, as well as a bite of urine to make sure that he didn’t have any signs of hypertension or gestational diabetes.

“This is the really fun part. Usually we do an early ultrasound to make sure that the embryo has implanted in the right location but based on how far along you are without extreme amounts of pain, I’m not going to advise one until the anatomy scan in about two weeks. However, I would like to use the doppler to check on baby’s heartbeat. That means that the both of you can hear it too!”

Blitz grinned so wide that his cheeks hurt, he couldn’t remember any other time that he had felt that excited about anything. He turned to look at Ozzie and saw that the look was matched perfectly. It was nice to have someone that was just excited about something happening to Blitz as he was. Fizz was supportive, but he was so anxious that he usually hid his feelings under passiveness and a shrugged body. No one else had stuck around long enough to see what Blitz’s life was actually like and he was the only being that he could blame that on.

Dr. Layla instructed Blitz to lay back on the crinkling paper that lined the examination table and then pulled a machine in from the hallway. “This is a doppler machine and it bounces high frequency sound waves off of red blood cells in the human world, or black and blue ones for the demons down here. It’s going to allow us to hear the baby’s heartbeat and make sure that it’s nice and strong. Would you mind pulling up your shirt?”

“That’s what got me into this mess in the first place,” Blitz joked, earning a choked snort from the sin beside him. He did as he was asked, pulling his shirt up so that it was resting just underneath the support bra that he had to buy himself when he hit his twelfth week. He hadn’t expected that much chest growth because his mother hadn’t had much, according to her, but he was having enough that it was uncomfortable to go without. The secure fabric was also a reassurance when his nipples began to get hyper sensitive.

The doctor placed the doppler down on his belly, and immediately the entire room filled with a sound that Blitz had never heard before. He’d been checked over for blood clots when he’d had his eye removed, but his hearing had been so busted by the fireworks in that moment that he hadn’t gotten to hear the sound of his own heartbeat like that. The doctor began moving it around so that the whooshing got stronger and softer depending on where it was. She then stopped when she got to the lowest part of the belly, shifting it from left to right until she found a very, very fast sound.

“There it is! That’s the sound of your baby’s heart. They’re sitting quite low, but that just means that you’re…” she trailed off. It sounded almost as if there was an echo from the heartbeat, a slightly quieter whooshing in the background of the first one. “Hmm.”

“What? Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?” Blitz asked. All the fears that he’d had when he was sitting in the waiting room and post-nurse were beginning to swell in the forefront of his mind. All he could think about was how he had stayed away from the hospital for too long and now his baby was badly injured in a way that he could have prevented if he wasn’t such a coward.

Dr. Layla soothed him with a single finger, moving the doppler slightly. “I can hear a bit of an echo in the heartbeat which could mean a lot of things. I’m going to schedule you an ultrasound a week early from when we usually do the anatomy scans so that you can get a better idea of what’s going on. I don’t think that this is anything to be too considered about, so please don’t stress yourself into a tizzy. I promise that we can get this sorted out,” she smiled at them both kindly.

The machine was removed from Blitz’s stomach and he sat up in a bit of a daze. All he could do for the rest of the appointment was sit beside Ozzie and try to listen to the important information that the doctor was giving them. It felt like so much had happened in one day even though very little had changed in his life. He was still going to return to his shitty apartment in the Greed ring and he was still pregnant, with a baby that might not be as healthy as he had originally hoped.

“Do you want me to bring you home?” Ozzie asked. They had met up together, but the Sin didn’t have a car present since he could call his staff to cart him around even into the other rings. Blitz, on the other hand, had driven his van from his apartment to the clinic, so he had to get driven or drive home in that if he had any hope of getting to work the next day.

“Uh, yeah,” Blitz nodded. He was still barely paying attention to what was going on around him, mostly just trying to focus on not holding his breath to the point where he died. It was surprisingly harder than it sounded, mostly because the nerves in his chest were constricting every single organ inside of his ribcage and pelvis.

The hybrid handed the keys over to the Sin and then clambered into the passenger seat of the van. They drove silently through the streets and into the elevator that brought them to Greed. Blitz only started talking when he had to give Ozzie directions on how to get to his apartment. It was a bit amusing to see such a powerful being struggle to navigate the myriad of potholes that littered the road on the way there.

Ozzie parked the car where he was instructed to and then rushed around to the other side so that he could open the door for Blitz. “Do you, uh, do you enjoy living in Greed?” he asked. His voice was strained, like he was trying to be polite but wasn’t sure that he could manage it for longer than necessary.

The hybrid shrugged and then motioned for Ozzie to come with him. They had a couple of things that they needed to talk about concerning parenting and the pregnancy in general, so it was better that they move somewhere where Blitz could sit down instead of standing in the shittiest parking lot ever seen that side of Pride.

Once they were in the hallway of the building, Blitz answered, “I don’t really like it but they’re one of the only rings that charges the same for hybrids or will rent to them at all. I had to find a place to live because being homeless or living in the back of my van was really not working out. You’d be surprised about how fussy those overlords can be about how their spaces look.”

The Sin gave a huffing snort, “I had to deal with quite a few of them myself after I took over the ring. They’re unbearable.”

“You’re telling me. Imagine how they are with you, someone that has a shit ton of power over them and is also literally an angel, and then imagine how much worse those bigoted assholes are going to get when they find out that I’m the second lowest of all the classes in Hell,” Blitz said.

“I’ve always hated the class system. When we fell, I was just barely old enough to remember some things from the early days. The imps that took us in were part of a tribe that roamed the Pride ring primarily, which was why my father ended up settling there first instead of somewhere a bit less tinged with poison,” Ozzie explained. “Those beings may not have lived the way that we had previously in Heaven, but they were far kinder and had a better community than I had ever seen. I never understood why they were looked down on by the other demons, simply because they didn’t possess the same talents as the others. They were still wonderfully gifted, I mean, look at the kinds of things that you can do on your own! You didn’t even have the priests to teach you the way that the old tribes did.”

Blitz felt his cheeks growing hot the longer that Ozzie talked. He had learned about how his people had traversed the land in search of the Fallen, since they had been prophesied by the Saints of Hell to help them once they arrived. He knew that one of the tribes his parents belonged to had helped Lucifer and Asmodeus when they fell, but there was no way that he would have known how much Ozzie still appreciated that kindness to that day.

He turned away from the Sin and cleared his throat, “Listen, man, if you want to help me get a better place where I can do my half of the kid raising then you’re welcome to.” He was mostly joking, but half of him was hoping that he could leech a bit off the Sin’s kindness to get a leg up in the world. Maybe, once it was known that a hybrid from the tribes had birthed the King of Lust his heirs, then it would be easier for other people like him to not flounder as much as they currently were.

“It’s funny that you mention that,” Ozzie said. “I don’t have to find you a place because I already have one. I own an apartment in Pride that I use to visit my siblings when my dad needs a break.”

“I always forget that Satan and Charlotte are your siblings. You don’t act like the Grand Prince of Hell or whatever. At least not when you’re with me,” Blitz said. The idea that Ozzie might act more humble or as a person instead of a grand mythic figure when he was around Blitz made the hybrid’s heart flutter in a way that he couldn’t describe.

“If Charlie heard you call her by her full name I think that she would cry,” he laughed. “She’s always be so sweet. You know, they’re both really excited about the baby.”

Suddenly Blitz felt very lightheaded. He placed his hand over the mark on his forehead as he sunk down onto his shitty couch, trying to breathe evenly. “You already told your family?”

Ozzie sat down beside him, the blue of his face far darker with the new blush that he was sporting. “I know that I should have asked you if it was okay for me to talk about it, but I was so excited to be a parent and they’re my family. Are you alright?”

“Well I just found out that the fucking royal family of Hell, literally the most powerful family that has ever existed, knows that I’m carrying your brood in my gut,” Blitz mumbled. “Are you sure that none of them are going to get mad at me for being of a lower class? I mean, there are plenty of other demons that you could have had a kid with and technically that offer is still on the table.” He was rambling at this point, trying to get out the feelings that were swirling around in him like a late-season Wrathian storm. It was hard to process everything that he had gone through during that day and he honestly felt like he deserved a metal for not breaking down and screaming for everything to stop.

“I’m not going to back out of this, now or ever,” the Sin said, his voice hard and determined. “Like I said when I first found out. You and I made this baby from Lust, which is my domain. I want to help you raise them and support you both for all the work you’re doing for me.”

“It’s just pregnancy,” Blitz argued, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“I had to watch my dad go through the pregnancy with Charlie and Satan, I know that shit is hard work,” Ozzie shook his head. There was a slight faraway look in his eyes, which meant that there was probably something more to that story that he wasn’t saying. Blitz wanted to pry deeper, not only so that he could know more about the royal family for the sake of pure curiosity, but so that he could know more about Ozzie. The Sin had been imposing in the beginning, but he made Blitz feel assured of himself and safe in a way that no one had before. It was intoxicating and fun, he wanted as much of it as he could get his hands on.

They sat in silence for a while longer before the conversation drifted back to the apartment. Blitz regretted not asking questions about Ozzie’s family and past when he had the chance, but he knew that his living situation was more important. Eventually, they decided that Blitz would move to the apartment in Pride and get a certain amount of money every month that would cover his utilities and other necessities, fluctuating depending on the age and needs of the baby. Blitz would have to work for the things he wanted or didn’t need to live, but he had a safety net to fall back on now that he was carrying the Heir of Lust in his womb.

---

A week had passed since the last time that Ozzie and Blitz had talked in person. They corresponded often over text, the Sin asking how Blitz felt three times a day. The hybrid knew that the other being was just as worried about the baby as he was, which was reassuring. He still wasn’t super used to someone caring about things that he did with the same level of passion and commitment, but he was adjusting slowly. Every time that he got that text on his phone, he would reply with exactly how he was feeling and an assurance that the baby was okay.

By the time that the scheduled ultrasound came around, they were both so nervous that they were entirely silent from the club to the clinic. Blitz was picking at spots on his arm and face, the lines of his burn scars now agitated and leaking black blood. He hadn’t done something like that since he was a kid, back when he still had acne to fuss over in the mirror every day. It was a soothing motion but also one that was very obviously destructive, which in a weird way helped settle him down more.

They got up from the seats in the waiting room and went through the whole process of getting the vitals and weight checked out. Instead of going to one of the private examination rooms, though, they were led to a larger room with a set of different machines up against one of the walls. The nurse had Blitz lay down on one of the paper-covered tables and promised that the technician would be in soon.

The duo continued to sit in silence once they got there. A half dozen joked with varying appropriateness came into Blitz’s mind and then left it just as quickly. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do in this situation since he and Ozzie weren’t together. He had begun to wonder what it would be like if they were romantically involved like so many other people who had created children together were. 

That had led him down a rather dark rabbit hole where he remembered the way that all of his other relationships had turned out. He wasn’t a very easy person to love, he had always known that, he got scared when it came to commitment and did a lot of things that were viewed as very hurtful from the people he cherished. Back when he was dating as a younger twenty-something and teenager, that hadn’t mattered. It was just him and he had already faced the worst things that could happen to a person post-fire. Now, it was different. He wasn’t just worrying about himself, his livelihood, he had a child to worry about. If he got involved in a romantic relationship with Ozzie, then it could cost him his child and his child one of their parents. While he trusted Ozzie with the safety and health of his baby, he also knew explicitly what it was like to grow up knowing that one parent didn’t want to be present on purpose.

A knock on the door broke him from his thoughts and he looked up. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Dr. Layla coming in with the technician. “Hello to you both. I don’t usually come with for this kind of thing, our technicians are very capable, but given the stressful situation I thought that it would be better if I was present,” she smiled kindly.

“Yeah, I think that would be for the best,” Blitz nodded. He was aware that the technician wouldn’t have gotten hired onto this job if they weren’t competent, but it made him feel better to have the doctor that had understood him so well before working with him again.

“My name is Ash, I’ll be checking you out and letting you two get a picture of your baby today!” the technician smiled kindly. “You’re lucky enough to have come in after we stop using the vaginal probe, so I’ll need you to roll up your shirt and push down your pants so that your whole belly is exposed.”

Blitz did as he was asked, just as he had done for Dr. Layla when she had palpated his abdomen. He didn’t like having his hands off of his tiny bump, not when there were other people in the room and individuals that he didn’t know for sure. He understood that this was very important for the health of his child and for the mental well-being of himself and others. He rolled his shirt up so that it was sitting underneath his bralette and his pants were down around his boxers. It revealed the entirety of the tear-drop shaped bump, which made him realize that he was already a bit bigger than he thought he should be for where he was in his pregnancy.

“This is going to be a bit cold, I have tried to warm it up a little,” Ash warned as they presented a bottle of clear liquid that looked very much like lube. They turned the bottle upside down and then squirted a decent sized amount onto his belly before doing the same to the wand in their hand. They then turned the wand upside down and began to spread the gel around like they always did in the movies. Once they had finished with that, they began to move slower over the apex of his stomach while squinting at the screen. After a moment, they smiled and turned the screen towards them, “This is your uterus, all this black space is the fluid that the baby sits in. Here you can see the placenta, it’s attached very nicely to your uterus and the umbilical cord appears to be in the exact location we want it in.”

Both parents turned to Dr. Layla to get a bit more infirmation, which she was happy to provide. “The placenta is against the back wall of your uterus, which means that you’re going to be able to feel it when baby moves, and the umbilical cord is attached to the center which allows for the majority of the blood flow to go right to baby. It’ll let them grow big and strong until they’re ready to be born and shouldn’t give you any fits when it’s time to deliver.”

The good news made Blitz’s shoulders droop with relief. He had been sleeping fitfully due to a surprisingly high amount of nightmares that informed him he was moments away from waking up to blood all over the sheets, again. “What about the heart? Is the heart okay?”

“We’re getting there, it’s alright,” Ash soothed. They probably had to deal with very worried people all the time, it wasn’t just a whim to get an ultrasound after all.

They moved the probe down further, the screen blurring with black patches and gray moving blobs. Finally it settled down and the technician grinned. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing, doc?”

“I believe that I am, and it would explain what I heard with the doppler!” Dr. Layla beamed. “Blitz, I would like to be the first person to inform you that you are expecting a beautiful pair of twins!”

“Holy fucking shit,” Blitz whispered. He knew that his eyes had gone comically wide and his face was probably chalky and pale. Part of him was so excited to be having twins since he was a twin himself, but the other part of him was terrified that history was going to repeat itself. What if his babies ended up hating each other the way that Barbie hated Blitz? What if he ended up ruining another pair of twins because he destroyed everything that he touched?

Ozzie gasped and stood up next to him, staring at the screen like the images on it were going to disappear if he so much as blinked. He had taken Blitz’s hand when they had entered into the clinic and hadn’t let go, which was a testament to how nervous they both were. Now, he brought Blitz’s hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it adoringly. “We’re going to have two babies! This is the greatest honor that I have ever received.”

The reaction from the other being was enough to jerk him out of his panicked thoughts, “What? Honor?”

Ash cleared their throat. “I’ve heard that you grew up in the tribes, which means you probably don’t know a lot about succubus culture, right?”

“As fucking embarrassing as it is, yeah. My mom thought that there were more important things to teach me at the time and then her time was cut a little short,” he admitted. He felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes and then embarrassment swelled through him. While he wasn’t sure that he was ever going to be ‘over’ the death of his mother, he had stopped crying about her and everything that reminded him of her a long time ago. It was hard to regress back to the place that he had been before now that the hormones from the pregnancy were changing the way that his body worked.

“Well, in concubus culture, pregnancy is revered. It’s considered to be borderline holy to create another being through the power that comes with us. Having multiples means that you’re even holier than you would be if you were having one,” they explained as they continued to move the wand around to get different angels of the babies. “Your partner there is telling you that it’s an honor to have a child with you because you are creating life, which is the apex of our purpose.”

“Woah,” Blitz whispered. He had known that children were very important and pregnant people were to be treated gently in tribal imp culture, but his mother really had no time to teach him anything about where she had come from. He wasn’t even sure if she had known that, he had heard stories of how hard Cash had worked her when she was having him and Barbie. He knew that his mother had been adopted by her mothers, his grandmothers, when she was about six after her father had passed away of Cancer. He wondered if she would be excited that he was having twins or scared for him, scared that he would fall down the same path that she had.

The appointment moved on through the normal beats that would occur during an anatomy scan. They showed off the fingers, toes, and all other things that they could see from the twins. He learned that they shared a placenta, which meant that they were more likely to be identical, but had separate amniotic sacs. It was wonderful to get to see their little kicks and movements on the grainy black and white screen, but it was even more exciting to know how soon he would be able to feel those movements on the skin instead of mistaking it for a muscle twitching or gas.

It was ruined just a bit by the constant confirmation that Ozzie could never be his partner. He may be revered and cherished while he was growing life, but soon he would birth them into the world and then he would no longer be appreciated in that way. Ozzie would be able to take their little ones to live the privileged life of royalty, leaving Blitz with a broken heart and nothing to show for it once more. After all, time and time again it had been shown that all Blitz had to do was say the wrong thing once before he was dropped harder than yesterday’s beef.

“Do you want to know the gender of the twins today or would you prefer to wait until they’re born?” Ash asked.

“Uh, we’ve got to think of two names. I’m not thinking of four because I don’t know which gender they are,” Blitz declared. Given that he was trans, not that it was as big of a deal in tribal culture as it was in the common landscape of Hell, he didn’t think that it was super important to decorate the nursery with pink or blue. He just wanted to be able to think of a proper name and see if he could give one of his children his mother’s name, as a way to honor her since she never had been in life.

He realized that he wasn’t alone in the room when he felt a hand squeeze his own and he turned his head to the side, “is that okay?” he asked Ozzie.

“I don’t see why not. My siblings did want to throw you a party, but we can do a gender reveal for everyone else instead of just for us,” Ozzie said with a little shrug.

Blitz turned back to the technician and said, “Can you find out and then write it down? That way I can give it to my sister-in-law and she can figure out a way to reveal it at my baby shower.”

It still felt weird for him to be that involved in the lives of the royal family, but he was going to have to get used to it. He and Ozzie may not have been in love or romantically involved in any way, but it was important for him to feel as though he were a proper presence in his children’s lives even before they were born. If that meant holding off on the name search until after Ozzie’s siblings had thrown him a baby shower with a gender reveal, then so be it.

“Let’s see if they’re cooperating then,” Ash nodded. They turned the screen away from the expectant parents and then began to move the probe around again. Dr. Layla peaked over their shoulder to confirm and speculate as well. After about five minutes of whispering between the two of them, Ash got a paper and wrote down the genders before sealing it in an envelope. 

Blitz took it when it was offered to him and then passed it over to Ozzie, “Make sure that Charlie gets this.”

“I’ll make sure that whatever she does is kind of subdued,” Ozzie assured him, bringing Blitz’s hand up to his mouth so that he could kiss the back of it.

“Hey, if she wants to waste a bunch of fireworks on me then that’s her decision,” he chuckled. The idea actually scared him, mostly because it might alert dangerous forces to the presence of his twins, but he wasn’t going to argue with the Princess of Hell.

---

When Blitz was six months pregnant, his life changed substantially again.

He was still working at the club, but he did fewer shows and wasn’t choreographed to do anything nearly as dramatic as he had been doing before. He understood the caution given the state that he was in, but he did miss it. He was glad that he was still getting paid the same salaried amount, but it honestly felt like he was taking from the other performers that had to pick up on his slack. None of them seemed to mind and the older ones even brought in baked goods in exchange for attempting to feel the babies move before anyone else did.

He had been packing up his apartment in Greed since he and Ozzie had discussed the fact that he would be moving. He had to be really slow and subtle about it because his lease didn’t end until he was six months. He knew that if someone picked up on the fact that he was moving and then ratted him out to his landlord, then he could lose his deposit or have to pay an extra large fee for breaking his lease even though he wasn’t planning on it. So he had to sneak plants and boxes to Ozzie’s apartment in Pride every time that he went to work or went to an appointment. It was slow going, but it meant that on the day that his lease ended, he was able to get the rest of his necessities out and into his van. It was nerve-wracking to drive away from the apartment with all of the things that had come with it still inside, including the last month’s rent and a letter saying that he wouldn’t be renewing it.

He arrived at the apartment after an hour or so of driving and then grabbed the box of his most treasured belongings. He got up to the apartment with the special key that Ozzie had given him and let himself in. “Oh, honey, I’m home,” he said in an extended voice, trying to parody the human shows that VoxTek sometimes ran when production was slow on the other projects.

“Welcome back!” Ozzie called from one of the bedrooms. They had discussed the move extensively over the phone and it had been decided that if the Sin had finished his work early then he would be able to come and help, but he had a lot to do that day. Blitz couldn’t ignore the way that his heart sped up at the idea of someone so powerful doing something so kind for little him.

He shook his head to try and get the thoughts to leave him alone as he took in the rest of the apartment again. He’d already brought several boxes in, so they were littered around the counter, walls, and anywhere else that he could put something down. The layout of the apartment was fairly straightforward, with the tile of the kitchen drifting into hardwood to dissect the spaces where the island didn’t already accomplish that. There was a small sitting area against one wall that would allow for more formal dinners, three chairs already next to it with two high chairs in boxes on top of it. To the left of the living room was a hallway that led to three bedrooms, one of them set up to be a rather distant guest bedroom and the other filled to the brim with baby stuff as it was becoming the nursery. The last bedroom was the master because it had an en suite, and it was also where Blitz was going to be staying.

Ozzie poked his head out of the communal bathroom and then his eyes drifted down to the box, “You shouldn’t be carrying that, you know.”

“It’s the lightest box in the van and I couldn’t just turn up here totally empty handed. I’ve got your huge kids pressing against my spine right now and that means that if I’m going to walk, I have to make sure that I’m multitasking.”

“Alright, fair point. Remind me not to argue with you in the future,” Ozzie chuckled, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Man if you keep smiling at me like that then I’m going to fall in love with you,” Blitz huffed. He had meant to keep it in his own head, but he had been talking out loud to the twins since he had read that they could hear him even while they were in the womb. He tried to ignore the way that his cheeks flushed darkly when he realized what he had done and continued to bring the box in.

The silence between them could have been cut with a butter knife, but Ozzie was smooth enough that he was able to bring it back to somewhere that felt livable. “If you give me the keys to your van then I can bring everything up for you. That way you can focus on unpacking everything here. That will be less stressful on your body, right?”

“Uh, yeah, should be,” Blitz nodded. He set the box down on the coffee table and then wandered to the bathroom. He sat down on the floor and began to unpack the box containing all the extra bathroom supplies he had, storing them under the sink and in their proper cupboards. There was already quite a bit of stuff in the apartment from when Ozzie had lived in it temporarily to spend time with his siblings, which made it feel a bit like Blitz was moving in with him.

He’d never actually moved in with one of his partners before because they had never gotten that far, but he had dreamed about it. He knew that he and Ozzie weren’t together and they weren’t moving in with one another, but he couldn’t help the way that his heart ached with longing for it.

They worked together in silent unison for the rest of the afternoon. Blitz went from room to room as he unpacked the things that Ozzie had brought upstairs and what he had already placed in the apartment. Moving his plants around so that they were all getting the appropriate amount of sunlight was what had taken up the majority of the time, but it was also hard to bend down and put all of his clothes away. The sun had begun to set over the horizon by the time that Ozzie knocked on the door that led into Blitz’s bedroom. 

“Hey,” the hybrid smiled at him as he held his belly and slowly moved into a standing position. It was getting harder and harder for him to move now that he was noticeably showing, his balance was more off than it had been in his entire life. He was happy about it though, because that meant that the twins were growing big and strong under the protective hand the kept on them.

“I was thinking of getting some dinner. You feeling anything specific?” he asked.

“I want really greasy fried Chinese food,” Blitz grinned. “Like, the unhealthiest thing for me in the entire world.”

He had expected the Sin to argue with him about it. He was carrying the future heirs of Lust, it made sense that the king would want his diet to be strict and healthy so that the kids wouldn’t come out maladapted or anything. Instead, what he got was a smile that made him feel like he was going to die, “Coming right up. Would you like to make the cribs with me while we wait for it to come?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Blitz nodded. He had come with very little, so most of the unpacking that he had to do was picture frames and private items. He didn’t really want to do that while someone else was in the house, so he was happy to leave it for the time being.

The duo walked over to the next room that they were going to transform into the nursery. Apparently Ozzie’s siblings had already come and painted the walls so that they were more neutral, other than the nursery. The nursery was painted a pastel yellow color with a dark blue ceiling that had glow-in-the-dark stars in perfect constellations stemming out from the cloud light in the center of the room. Blitz sat down on the ground beside one of the crib boxes and then got to work on that. Ozzie began to attach the shelves and bookcases to the wall where they had discussed their locations.

The conversation stayed quiet for a while, before they began to talk about baby names. As much as Blitz had said he didn’t want to have to come up with four names since they didn’t know either gender, it was fun to think of names. Ozzie’s were all somewhat related to Heaven and the old times since that was his only experience, but he seemed really open to the circus and tribal names that Blitz suggested.

They were now sitting on the big sunflower rug in the center of the nursery with the food spread out next to them. Blitz took a massive bite out of his wanton and then let out a happy moan, snacking down on it even harder when it began to satiate his craving. Once he had filled his belly enough to feel like he wasn’t going to die from lack of food, he said, “So for girls names what do we have?”

“Dahlia, Tilly, Aurelia, Kalypso, Andromeda, and Clementine,” Ozzie said, counting the numbers off on his fingers despite the chopsticks he held in one hand.

“I don’t like Saints names, I knew too many kids named Dahlia when I was growing up. Tilly is also pretty close to my mothers, so if we could use that as a potential middle name instead?” Blitz asked hopefully.

“Of course! Don’t worry about honoring my parents with middle names either. I think that it’s weird to do it to someone still alive in the realm you exist in and I hate my father,” Ozzie said as he popped a bit of food into his mouth.

“I thought that you and Lucifer were really fucking close or whatever. It’s all the tabloids ever print about, since Lilith left and stopped causing drama,” Blitz commented. He didn’t pay a ton of attention to the news because it was very sinner-centric, but it was important to know some things about the royal family. Lilith had disappeared around the same time that the exterminations had started, but no one knew why and had gotten bored of speculating very early. Instead, they focused on the attention the Lucifer was giving his children since he hadn’t been seen since the youngest prince and princess were born.

“Lucifer is technically my mother. I was conceived and born in Heaven, the first to fall but not the first to land,” he explained with a shrug. “My other father is still in Heaven. He watched us fall and did nothing to stop it. It’s one of my earliest memories, including the pain that I felt because of how damaged my wings became when I was thrown out.”

“Jeez,” Blitz wrinkled his nose. He wasn’t sure what was worse, the abuse the Cash had dolled out on him or the neglect that whoever Ozzie’s father was had done. “We’re both going to be better parents than our dads, right?”

“Of course we are. I mean, look at all the effort we’re already putting in!” he grinned, spreading his arms out to show off the nursery. It was already coming together, even if they were missing a couple of things that Blitz hoped they would get at the baby shower that Charlie and Satan were putting on.

He set his food down and stood up, one hand under the swell of his stomach and the other grasping at the mostly finished crib. He let out a yelp of surprise when the item moved to the left and then suddenly he was falling. Before he had the chance to hit the ground, he felt a pair of steady arms around his waist to guide him down safely.

He laughed when he looked up and saw that Ozzie had caught him and the comfortable place that he had landed just so happened to be the Sin’s lap. “Fancy meeting you here,” Blitz chuckled.

“Are you sure that you’re okay to continue working?” Ozzie asked. His hands moved as if they were possessed, shifting around Blitz’s waist so that they were resting on his heavy belly instead. He threaded his fingers underneath the slope and then shifted the way that his arms were so that he had taken most of the weight off of the imp’s struggling hips. 

Blitz let out a happy moan and melted back into the hold of the incubus demon. “Hey, this was a freak accident. If you ever bothered to show up to the club anymore then you would be able to see how elegant and sexy I am when I swing from those silks,” he grinned. If he was being honest, he wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to last through the entire nine months while working. He was able to keep his balance better than other pregnant people might have if they were doing his job, but the fact that he was carrying two babies made his bump heavier than the standard person’s would be.

“Mm, I’m going to have to take you up on that,” Ozzie purred. He leaned down and nibbled at the underside of Blitz’s jaw just the way that he liked it. He had never been someone that was huge on pain and sex, but he did like the feeling of his partner’s teeth digging into his skin. He let out a breathy little sigh as he exposed more of the skin to Ozzie so that he could keep up the good work.

Both of the demons went absolutely still when they felt something that they had never felt before. Blitz shifted so that he was sitting in Ozzie’s lap with his back to the Sin’s chest. He placed both of his hands down on the baby bump and waited until he felt it again, the soft bumping of a hand or a foot against his palm.

“I think that the babies are moving!” Blitz gasped. He had been waiting for that to happen, because it meant that someone was going to be able to feel it from the outside instead of him only being able to feel it when they rolled over or got extremely rowdy.

“Woah,” Ozzie breathed. He released the weight of the bump slowly before he began to focus on trying to feel their children squirming around inside of Blitz.

“Isn’t it cool? I’m so glad that some of the other dangers at your club have been pregnant before otherwise I would have thought that this was a contraction or something,” he laughed. It was scary being pregnant when his mother had died several years ago, because while she had taught him about the medical parts of pregnancy there was something different about going through the process himself. It was nice to know that he still had a village around him, even if it wasn’t the one that he had always envisioned himself having.

Ozzie’s hands moved reverently down the front of his stomach to the underside, where he felt another small kick. “You’re really having my babies,” he whispered like it was something he was just realizing.

“Glad that you finally processed that fact, big guy,” he chuckled.

“This is amazing,” Ozzie whispered, nuzzling further into him. 

Blitz just smiled as they continued to sit like that together until he had to pee for the fortieth time that day. He felt right at home in the arms of the Sin, settled and reassured that he was appreciated.

---

Part Three: The Birth

Being nine months pregnant was going to drive Blitz entirely and utterly insane. He was massive, his belly barely fitting in any of the maternity clothes that he hadn’t altered himself. He struggled to get out of his chair or bed whenever he sat down and his back ached all the time. He had continued to be active even as he got into the third trimester, which kept him relatively limber and helped with the waddling just a smidge. He couldn’t imagine how much worse he would have been if he hadn’t done that.

He had taken leave early from the club since it was stressing both him and Ozzie out to have his body presented in the club with only silk preventing him from falling. He spent most of his time watching shows, practicing his horse drawing skills, and looking into what had happened at people in his circus. 

Ozzie had told him that he was helping a young imp get prosthetics after a fire had turned him into a quadriplegic. It wasn’t hard to put together that it was Fizz, so he had begun to look into the real reason that the fire had taken out so much of the circus. It didn’t make sense that birthday candles had managed to set the entire thing ablaze like that, and it wouldn’t have been burning hot enough to burn the caravans down to the ground. He had always liked the idea of being a PI, it sounded interesting for a job and he was bored out of his mind.

Something else had to have happened during the fire that had caused it to go so out of control so quickly. So far, he had been able to get in contact with Wally, the imp who had been holding the cake, and gotten a confirmation that he also thought it was strange. His father was nowhere to be found and had likely let the tribe dissolve, but he was digging further and further into the matter. Blitz had a half-written letter that was going to go to Fizz as soon as he had some actual answers to show. He wasn’t going to try and get sympathy from the imp that he had hurt so badly, he just wanted to give Fizz the same kind of closure that he would get when he found out what had really happened. That way, it would be easier for Ozzie to pursue whatever romance was blooming with the imp and raise the twins with Blitz.

He had been sitting on the couch for an hour when he got a twinge in his back. He thought that it was simply from not having moved very much during the day, but then he remembered that he had lost his mucus plug the night before. His hands were shaking as he reached out to the side of the couch and grabbed his beaten phone.

It took a moment of slow breathing and rationalization before he set his phone down, forgoing the decision to call Ozzie about his possible labor. He got up off the couch and began to wander around the apartment so that he could make sure everything was in its place. The guest room was littered with work from the Sin since they were both more comfortable with him staying around now that the due date was coming closer and closer. They had been warned by Dr. Layla that the twins would likely come early since they would simply run out of room, but the succubus side of Blitz seemed to be coming in handy for him again as he had already passed the thirty five week mark.

Ozzie was going to be staying until the babies came and then for about six months afterwards to help with the adjustment period. Neither of them really wanted to have to ween the babies early and Blitz wasn’t super keen on switching to only pumping. He’d always had a dream of being able to take time off when he had young children, the way that every new birthing parent in the circus got to. With the maternity leave that he had from the club and the financial security that Ozzie was providing him with, he did actually have that chance. Given his desires, it didn’t make a lot of sense for him to suddenly switch to only pumping so that he could send his babies away for a week at a time when they were barely even half a year old.

Somehow, Blitz had found himself in the nursery. He settled down in the rocking chair that was positioned underneath the window. He placed both of his hands on his heavy belly and began to rock slowly back and forth to soothe the nerves that were growing in the pit of his stomach. He knew that labor could come at any point and it was going to be happening soon thanks to the other things that his body had been going through, but the idea was still very scary. He had seen dozens of women give birth with various ease and complications alike, but it was different to be going through the process himself.

He had allowed himself a bit of cognitive dissonance while staring out across the grimy skyline of Pentagram City for nearly an hour. When he had five contractions within that timeframe, he knew that this wasn’t a false alarm. He’d had those a few times before, but was able to catch it before Ozzie had the chance to check his phone and then freak out.

Now, the real thing was happening and he was sure that by the next morning he was going to be a parent. The idea was as thrilling as it was terrifying, thinking of the next two decades that he would spend having two little beings asking everything of him. He knew that he would give it to them in a heartbeat, but that didn’t stop him from worrying if he would be able to provide for them like he dreamed.

He tried to center himself by focusing on getting through the next couple of hours. He’d always had bad cramps on his cycle, which made the contractions seem like a slightly elevated but not too egregious version of that, but he knew it was likely going to get even more painful.

Blitz grabbed his phone and texted Ozzie to let him know that it was baby time. Barely five minutes had passed before a swirling blue portal opened up with the Sin of Lust, in his fully demonic form, slipping through and into the room. “Are you okay?” Ozzie asked, his eyes wide and worried.

“Uh, yeah?” Blitz answered. “I did tell you how far apart the contractions were, didn’t I?”

“I don’t know, I only got as far as the first sentence,” Ozzie admitted a bit sheepishly. He shifted down into his incubus form and something inside of Blitz settled. It could have been the fact that he didn’t like demons who were literally looking down on him, he’d had that problem with royals before, but it might have also been because he and Ozzie were compatible as partners when he was in that form.

“Labor can take fucking days, Oz,” Blitz chuckled. “I told you that my contractions were far apart so that you would finish up your work and then help me out, I didn’t expect you to come home in a total tizzy.”

“Well, uh, I was just worried. When my dad had the twins they came after like five minutes of him being in labor,” Ozzie explained. He looked like a chastised child as he sat down on the couch beside Blitz, wringing his hands in front of him. “I’ll never forget how scared he was when my Aunt Bel delivered them. I didn’t want you to feel like that.”

Blitz felt his heart melt in his chest and he reached his hand up to cup the other man’s face. “You are the sweetest person that I have ever met in the history of forever,” he commented.

“I’m just being a basically decent person. One of these days I’m going to track down that father of yours and read him the riot act for the way that he made you feel when you were growing up. Now, are we ready to have a baby?” Ozzie asked.

The joke that he was going to  make about Ozzie not really being the one to have the babies died on his tongue. Instead, he just nodded his head and began to get things ready. He wasn’t going to say that Ozzie was an absent father or hadn’t been as involved in the situation as Blitz was, because while he wasn’t carrying the children he was obviously trying very hard to participate. He had dropped everything that he was doing at work to come home when Blitz had simply texted him that the babies were going to be coming in the next day or so.

---

Blitz got to eat a lot of carbs and protein with that meal so that he would have plenty of energy for the coming ordeal. He sipped on water to stay hydrated as they watched his favorite movies, pausing them when the world would go black because he was having a contraction. The app on Ozzie’s phone was getting its work out for the first time since they had downloaded it when Blitz had hit the seven month mark.

They continued to grow stronger and more frequent. The pain was even and steady, which encouraged Blitz because he knew that nothing was going to stall if he kept going on that trajectory. Outside of the normal fears that came with giving birth, he had been terrified of the pain lasting for far longer than normal or endangering the babies inside of him. The contractions lasted about a minute each, sometimes differing as Blitz got better or worse at handling the pain depending on the way that he was sitting or what he had been doing. They came at about every ten minutes, then jumped to seven, then down to four.

At that point, they called Dr. Layla. She didn’t normally did home deliveries because it wasn’t standard in the living world anymore. Blitz had grown up where everyone’s homes were also their hospitals, so he felt more comfortable delivering his children in the safety of the apartment that he had carved a place for himself into. She had agreed to give them special treatment since she also missed being able to practice as she had been taught to before she became a sinner.

The midwife arrived only twenty minutes after they had called her. She got Blitz to his room and then checked the progress that he was making, just to be sure that the contractions weren’t just for show. She had Blitz place the pads of his feet together and then move them as close to his bottom as he could, inserting two fingers into his vaginal canal after placing gloves on. “I can assure you both that wonderful progress is happening! You’re going to see your twins soon,” she beamed at them both.

Blitz couldn’t ignore the way that his heart fluttered madly in his chest and excitement rushed through him. He was fixing his pants when he turned to look at Ozzie. He hadn’t sent the Sin out of the room because he knew that Ozzie was going to be seeing a lot more before the process was over, it also felt good to have him there for every single part of the delivery process. “Did you hear that? We’re going to be parents soon,” he grinned.

“I know! You’re so amazing,” Ozzie whispered as he knelt down in front of Blitz and kissed him sweetly. When he pulled away, they were both blushing and a bit shocked that it had just happened. They knew that it wasn’t time to talk about it, not when Blitz was consumed with another contraction.

---

Now that the midwife was present, they had a bit more direction than they had before. She instructed Blitz to bounce on the yoga ball so that they could get the babies down into the birth canal and hopefully into the right direction. When he had finished with that, he paced around the house to try and help gravity work things down into the right position. It ended up working to a point, because his water began to leak a trail from the kitchen to the living room before he had noticed that something was wrong.

“I am leaking!” he shouted as he felt the patch on his pants grow bigger and bigger. “I swear to fucking shit this better not be piss.”

“Even if it was, neither of us are going to judge you for that. You’re bringing children into the world and that’s not known to be the most elegant experience,” Dr. Layla informed him. She brought him to the bathroom and then sat him down on the toilet as she dealt with his dirty pants and underwear.

Ozzie sat down in front of him, a small smile creeping over his features and his hand trailing words and markings onto Blitz’s leg. “Are you scared?”

“Honestly? Not as much as I thought I fucking would be,” he chuckled. “I like having you here, makes it feel like I can actually do this.”

“You can,” Ozzie said. His brilliant blue eyes were sparkling with a kind of emphasis that Blitz never thought that he was going to be getting. “You’re the strongest person that I have ever met and you’re so resilient.”

“I’m just giving birth, you don’t have to give me a speech like I’m trying to fight Heaven,” Blitz flushed. The kiss from earlier was still sitting in his mind like an elephant in the room.

“I think that you could fight Heaven by yourself if you set your mind to it,” Ozzie grinned. He laughed when he got a punch to the shoulder from the imp. He gave a little pout afterwards and earned a kiss to the spot to make up for it. They had joked that they were practicing for when their kids came after they found themselves doing that to each other. It was a nicety now that everything was in the process of changing, it cemented that his friend was still there and still ready to help raise the babies working their way into the world. “I’m serious though, Blitz. You’re so unimaginably strong and resilient, you’re going to be able to get through this like breathing.”

They stared at each other with wide eyes, the air hanging heavy with the unspoken words. Blitz could feel his heartbeat pick up in a way that was completely unrelated to the babies squirming around in his belly. All he could think about was the deal he had made himself, that he wouldn’t catch feelings and he wouldn’t act on anything even if he did. Ozzie was the other parent to his babies and while he was handsome, supportive, kind, and generous, there was no way that their relationship would go anywhere but down. Blitz’s family and many of the other members of the circus had reminded him time and time again that there was nothing he could touch that wouldn’t break, including and especially relationships. He wasn’t going to ruin his babies’ chances at getting to know such a wonderful man as their father nor was he going to risk a custody battle that would leave him once again alone.

“He’s right, you know,” Dr. Layla said from the doorway.

The duo snapped apart and let her come in so that she could finish her job. 

---

She helped Blitz stand once the amniotic fluid had stopped dribbling out of him and he went back onto the yoga ball. He clung to the edge of his bed so that he could rock back and forth without the risk of toppling over if he went just a little too far in either direction. Ozzie sat behind him and rubbed his back, especially down around his hips.

It quickly got too hot for him in the room that he was laboring in. He removed his shirt so that he was entirely bare, not that either other person in the room really seemed to mind. They had turned the AC on, which was actually functional in the apartment thanks to the money that Ozzie had been able to shovel into something that Blitz would never have even dreamed of affording. He knew that the doctor and his co-parent had to be absolutely freezing in the room, but he still felt as though he was roasting even with it cranked all the way up.

He began to let out small groans of pain whenever the contraction reached its climax. Now that the cushion of the amniotic fluid had left, everything felt so much more than it had before. He reached his hands onto the edge of the bedframe and began to dig his claws into it when the pain was beginning to occur. The anticipation of it was the worst thing, because he could deal with the pain when it was there but the memory of what it had been four minutes ago was so much worse than the experience.

“I’m going to explode,” Blitz grumbled after he had been laboring for an additional two hours after his water had broken. The contractions had changed the way that they felt, now tightening his belly to a frankly ridiculous amount while bringing what he could only describe as pressure throughout him.

“You’re not going to explode,” Dr. Layla chuckled. She knelt down on the ground in front of him while Ozzie moved behind Blitz to help him stand properly. She put another pair of gloves on and then checked his dilation before she gave him a bright smile. He kind of wanted to kick her for that, his contractions and labor were making him really grumpy. He held himself back because he did really like his doctor and didn’t want to chase her away, he just wanted to bite something. “In fact, you’re going to start pushing now and we’ll have the babies soon. Remember what we talked about?”

“Oh, oh shit. Oh fuck! Holy fucking balls!” Blitz gasped in surprise. He knew that pressure sometimes meant that the time to push was coming soon from the training with his mother, but hearing that said from another person brought into context just how close he was to making their twins.

“Do you remember or do you need a refresher, Blitz?” Dr. Layla asked again. She had gotten up so that she could make sure that they had all the supplies they would need for when the babies made their full debut.

“No, no, I remember,” he breathed. He could feel another contraction slowly beginning to cry up his back so that it could wrap around his hips and heavy belly. He readjusted his grip on Ozzie’s hands and then looked up to him for reassurance, which he got in the form of an excited-yet-nervous smile.

He turned his head back towards the wall that they were facing and then let out a huffing breath to get his confidence. He took in a lungful of air and grunted as he began to bear down. He didn’t even care that his bowels were moving with each push, all he could focus on was the massive baby that was descending through his birth canal as she got ready to be born. He only let it go when the contraction loosened its hold on him entirely, leaning back against Ozzie.

“Good! That’s wonderful, you’re doing it just right. Is this position working for you, Blitz?” Dr. Layla asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” he nodded. He had his eyes closed as he focused on the feeling of the baby sitting low in the birth canal and the hands that were holding him up. He groaned as another contraction began to creep up his back and then wrap around his belly, but he was able to use the pain and pressure that it brought to do something useful.

With every single push he was able to feel the baby moving lower and lower down inside of him. He let out a surprised cry of pain and stopped pushing in the middle of a contraction when all the nerves in his vulva suddenly felt like they were on fire. He panted as he tried to process what that feeling had been, his eyes now open and looking around for some kind of explanation despite it coming from inside him.

Dr. Layla placed her gloved hand on his leg and said, “You’re doing really well, you’re already crowning. It’s going to burn something fierce while you push but I know that you’re strong, you can do this.”

He looked at her with what he knew was fear, his heart was beating quickly from more than just the exertion of pushing. He set his jaw, gave his head a small nod, and then bore down as hard as he could when the next contraction came. It was easier to do it now that he was totally aware of what was happening, it was confusing when it was happening to him instead of to someone else.

He grunted and yelled out when the crown of fire really started, his vulva expanding as wide as it would go to get the apex of the baby’s head through the birth canal. He gasped and felt his knees buckle when suddenly he constricted down again and felt something slide from him entirely. “Knees, can’t hold myself up,” he mumbled.

“We can do that, come on, down you go,” Dr. Layla said with a slow nod to Ozzie. She had her hand between his legs, cupping whatever had just come out of him. He assumed that the baby’s head had finally been born, based on the way that he still felt incredibly overwhelmed by the amount of baby inside of him but his vulva was no longer actively being stretched to the maximum capacity that it could reach.

He was eased down so that he was kneeling before the doctor said, “I’ve checked for the cord and you’re good to push when you feel the urge. If you need to take a break then just pant for me for a while.”

“I don’t need a break,” he almost snapped. He felt bad for doing so, but his mind was so focused on giving birth that it was something floating around in the back of his thoughts instead. He would apologize for the way that he acted when the babies were out of him and healthy, for now they were the only thing that he could focus on.

He grunted and grasped Ozzie harder as he pushed again. The pain that came from the shoulders turning and exiting him was just as bad as the head, but it also felt a bit different because the shoulders were a wide oval instead of a circle. He felt his legs shake as the rest of the baby was delivered, sliding down into Dr. Layla’s hands, right before she brought the newborn to his chest and let him hold her.

Despite the fact that his body felt akin to what it had after the fire, his entire world narrowed down to the newborn in his arms. She was covered in black blood, vernix, and a lot of other gunk that he couldn’t quite name, but she was the most beautiful thing in the entire world to him. The tiny newborn had the beginning of horn nubs at her forehead, right where he had when he was her size. Her skin was a soft shade of pastel blue like Ozzie’s when he wasn’t in his Sin form. Her tiny fingers had a place where claws would grow in later, but for now they were absent entirely. Her nose and lips looked like Ozzie’s had in the pictures that Lucifer had been able to draw up in Blitz’s mind during the baby shower. She had a tail with a club at the end of it and hooved feet, a perfect mix of her parentage and grand-parentage.

“She’s amazing,” Ozzie whispered. He had shifted Blitz a bit so that the imp was laying down on the waterproof padding they had lined their floors with. It was easier for him to hold their daughter when he was no longer entirely vertical, so he didn’t mention anything about his sweaty back sticking to Ozzie’s bare thigh.

“She’s ours,” Blitz grinned. He lifted one of his fingers up and trailed the back of it over her chubby little cheek and jaw, reverently memorizing every single part of her. She was his baby, he had worked for nine months to make her inside of his body. He was flabbergasted that she had come from him when he was so used to the only thing he could bring being pain. She was beautiful and perfect and made from him, so something in him had to be good too.

Dr. Layla clamped and tied the cord before cutting it, setting the scissors back in the kidney dish so that no one would step on them. She asked, “Would you like me to bath the baby and get her in her bassinet or does one of you want to try and do that in the meantime? It has to be done before Number Two makes her appearance.” They had already discussed the facets of a vaginal delivery of twins that shared a placenta, so the next baby would come when she wanted to and they would go about business as usual while they waited.

“Yeah, you should do it,” Blitz said. He didn’t want to let go of his baby and he wasn’t sure how he felt about her being held by someone that wasn’t her partner, but he knew that the midwife had done this for her entire life and death, so she would treat the baby gently. The plus side of having a baby with a Sin was also that he could destroy anyone that tried to hurt their little one, which allowed him to give up some control. He would have done it himself, but he felt so shaky from the delivery of his baby that he wasn’t sure he could figure it out on his own.

“What were you thinking of naming her?” the midwife asked. She walked to the corner of the room where they had set up the baby washing station. The water was a little above room temperature from this point, having been incredibly hot when Blitz’s labor started in earnest. She dipped a rag into the water and then began to smooth it over the baby’s skin to get all of the stuff off of her.

“I think we wanted to meet them both before we decided which name went with which twin,” Ozzie said. They had settled on their names a little while after the baby shower that Charlie and Satan had thrown Blitz. The names, along with vines for one and the night sky for the other, had been painted onto the cribs in the nursery. They wouldn’t be used for another month or so as Blitz struggled to recover and the bassinet was a closer location, but it was the thought that counted.

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” Dr. Layla smiled. “Back in my day, people rarely knew that they were going to have twins before they started having contractions again. I knew women who thought that their afterbirth was another baby!” she laughed.

Blitz was glad that the science and education in Hell was better than it was in certain parts of Heaven. Almost everyone that he talked to knew the basics of pregnancy and what went into it, especially in the concubus circles. It must have been incredibly scary and difficult for people that knew nothing about pregnancy and had to go through the ordeal completely blind. It was terrifying for him and he had training in how to deliver babies and assist pregnant people, so it was likely so much worse without that baseline of knowledge. For what had to be the thousandth time, he thanked the Saints and his mother for everything that they had done for him during the process of bringing his children into the world.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when he felt a great rush of fluid between his legs. He looked down at the stained pad of cotton and newspaper, which was collecting everything that continued to spill out of him. “I think my water just broke again,” he commented.

Dr. Layla looked up from where she had finished swaddling the eldest twin and then grinned at him. “It most certainly did. This is good progress, it means that you’re going to be meeting your second child very soon,” she explained. She finished wrapping up the baby and then placed her down in the bassinet beside the bed, on the other side from Blitz so that it wouldn’t get bumped or knocked over during the process of everything. She had cried when she was born, like all babies did after going through something that traumatic, but now she had settled down to a couple of gurgles. It was as if she were reminding her parents that she was still there even though they weren’t directly hovering over her any longer.

“How much sooner?” Blitz asked. He didn’t like the fact that the pad underneath him was now squelching when he moved his legs a little bit, so he began the process of standing up. Before he could even put weight on his shaky legs, Ozzie’s hands were on his elbows and practically scooping him off the ground. The solid warmth of the twins other parent behind him reminded him that he was okay and that he could do this. He wasn’t sure what he would have done without that, probably handled the entire situation a lot worse than he currently was.

“Thanks,” he whispered. He remembered the kiss that they had shared earlier just as he got another contraction. The amniotic fluid had been the only thing keeping the other baby from being born, since he was already fully dilated, so he grunted as he began to bear down. He was almost relieved that the pain had wiped the image from his mind, had brought his heart back to racing because of the pressure and not because he felt like he was falling in love.

“Well done, you’re doing very well,” Dr. Layla murmured as she got the pad swapped out for another one and then helped him back down onto his knees. This time, he placed his hands down onto the ground as well. His hips were tilted low so that gravity could continue to help him, but his belly had shrunk enough that he was able to be in a different position than he had with the first.

He pushed for almost ten minutes before the second baby’s head began to crown. The same pain as before befell him and he pushed through it because he knew what would be coming. He paused and panted when he was told, allowing the midwife to check for the cord and rotate the shoulders. It was a strange feeling, but he felt almost meditative as he began to push again and delivered the rest of the little one.

The same processes as before were completed. He got the baby onto his bare skin and then assessed her features. They weren’t identical, the smaller of the two babies had his red skin and no horns. Her fingers lacked claws and likely always would, and her feet resembled that of a concubus instead of an imp.

Dr. Layla took the baby and then cut her cord before she went to wash her. The placenta was delivered just as the second twin was laid down in the cot next to her sister. They both seemed to settle once they had the other to cling to, which made Blitz’s heart ache something fierce.

Only a couple of years ago he had been a twin himself and had sought comfort in his sister the same way that his girls were doing to each other now. He knew that Barbie hated him because he had caused part of the accident that had burned down their circus and was blamed for it, but he wondered what she would have thought of him being a parent. He was sure that she would have been supportive of him if she had been there during the delivery, fussing over every aspect of it to make sure that everything went to the plan he had set. He knew that she would have cooed over her nieces like they were the most precious thing on the planet. Most important, she would have encouraged him to go forward with his relationship with Ozzie. She was good like that.

“I’m disgusting. Can I take a shower or something?” Blitz asked.

“Are you able to stand?” Dr. Layla asked as she inspected the placenta in the basin that she had caught it in.

“I can stand. His name is Ozzie and he has big hands,” Blitz said as he tilted his head back. Their eyes met and he felt another sprig of butterflies shoot throughout his body despite the exhaustion that was weighing so heavy on him. He could handle anything when Ozzie was by his side, he was absolutely and utterly sure of it.

“Then I would suggest getting a shower in, before the girls decide that they’re hungry and the rest of your attention goes to them,” the midwife replied.

Ozzie carefully placed an arm underneath Blitz’s legs and another one around his back. With a single smooth motion, he lifted the hybrid up and walked him to the bathroom. They had already placed a shower stool inside of the stall due to Blitz’s aching hips when he began to near his labor, so he got to sit down on that instead of having to stand entirely on his own. The water felt blissful and cool as it began to run over his body, but it was nothing compared to the washcloth covered in soap that Ozzie used to wash his sweaty body.

When the shower was over, he stepped into the special underwear that would track how much he was bleeding and help carry the flabby skin of his belly while his organs were returning to their rightful place. He dressed in sweatpants and a nursing bra but decided to forgo a top as he was carried back to the bedroom. Ozzie laid him down on the bed right as the twins woke up and set of a chain reaction with each other.

Dr. Layla helped them lift the babies up and then get them nursing. When she left, she took all the things that had been involved in the birth and gave them instructions to try and keep the twins on the same schedule so that the adults in the house could keep their sanity. They were both going to try their best, but Blitz was glad Ozzie was immortal when he heard the horror story she had to tell about twins keeping parents up constantly.

---

Parenting came naturally to Blitz, unlike so many other things. He was able to learn the sounds of the babies’ cries almost immediately after they were born. He was able to tell when they were hot, cold, hungry, tired, lonely, or needed to be changed. He was able to tell which one was Kalypso, the older of the two twins, and which one was Aurelia, the younger and smaller of the two.

The duo had gotten into a good rhythm with each other. Ozzie handled all the changings because Blitz was lucky enough that he didn’t have to supplement with formula and thus was nursing all the time. They would sleep during the night, usually in the same bed and waking each other up when it was their turn to do something. They slept late into the morning and then woke up around ten so that they could pretend to be alive until about eight. They ate hearty meals that were provided by their friends and family, keeping up their strength in that way.

It had been about sixteen weeks since the girls had been born and they were already so big, it absolutely baffled Blitz. He was glad that Ozzie was around to help him with the parenting so that he could be coherenting enough to watch the girls as they grew, he would be devastated if he didn’t get to have all of that simply because he was too tired.

Ozzie sat down beside him on the couch after placing Aurelia down in the playpen next to her sister so that they could be stimulated by a crinkle mat while doing tummy time. He cleared his throat and asked, “Blitz, can we talk?”

“We’re talking right now,” he said, though he knew that wasn’t what the Sin meant. He fidgeted when he saw the serious look in the other being’s eyes and then nodded, “Uh, yeah, we can talk.”

The worst of the worst was flashing through his mind as he waited for the Sin to collect his thoughts. Things had been going so well, and to Blitz that meant he was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop and everything to become awful again.

“So, I know that we agreed that we would just be friends. I want you to know that if you still want to be friends then I’ll respect that, but I have to get this off my chest,” Ozzie said. His gaze was flickering all over the room and his powder blue fingers were picking at the edge of the couch that they were on. He took a deep breath and said, "I love you. I've been in love with you for a while now. I hadn't wanted to tell because I was afraid that you wouldn't want me to be in your life anymore, but I can't keep pretending. I wake up to the thought of you, and at night, the thought of you helps me sleep. Your smile makes me forget my trouble, and your laugh is like music to me. You are so brave and handsome and smart, and I want nothing more to be in your life in any way I can be. I know that you hold fear from what had happened, and I have fear too, but I want to come home to you every night and wake up to you every morning. I love you Blitzø Buckzo."

There was a long moment of silence before Blitz said, “I love you too.”

“You do?” Ozzie asked, his brilliant eyes wide with shock.

“Yeah, I do. I have for a long time, I just didn’t want to make a move because of what happens every time I date someone. They always end up hating me and then vow to ruin my entire life, but with the kids I couldn’t let that happen. They’re so good though, perfect in literally every single fucking way. I know that I have good in me somewhere because that’s where they got it from, so I think that I can have a good relationship, especially if it’s with you,” he rambled awkwardly.

Blitz looked up just in time to be met with another kiss, similar to the ones that they had shared throughout the pregnancy. It was magical and perfect in all the right ways, even if they had done things a little backwards.

[cant-get-no-worse]

So, I'm a relatively new FCB fan and I've been doing some research about why the club had a downfall. What I understood was that everything went to shit since Neymar left. Plus he didn't even have any legit reason to leave apart from more money being offered by PSG. People say he left because he was in "Messi's shadow" but that's not true. All I saw was love and appreciation for him by the fans and his fellow players. Especially Messi. He treated him with so much love and respect. Even now, after going through so much shit at PSG, Neymar doesn't seem to want to leave that club. In my opinion, he is one reason why Barcelona went downhill. The club spent so much money on his replacements which all ended in failure. I think if he hadn't left at that time, Barcelona would be in a relatively better place right now. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I interpreted. Please correct me if I'm getting it wrong or if I missed some important thing amidst all of this. I have nothing against Neymar, he's a wonderful player, but I can't help but put a little blame on him.

Hii ! I love ranting about this stuff, so warning: long ass ramble, I'm putting it beneath.

I think it's fairly common for people to assume Neymar's departure in 2017 was the thing that started FCB "downfall" (which is a pretty dramatic term in of itself), because it's such a public move that made everyone talk. It's a transfer whose consequences on the market value of players and the way we appreciate those is still underappreciated; genuinely, that Neymar saga is mad, it changed everything (to me, for the worse). But the decline of FCB, the institution, began way earlier than 2017. 2017 is kind of, the first most visible consequence of every prior stuff.

Everything was a mess by 2006/2008, for the team & institutionally wise. It got better from 2008 - 2012, under Pep Guardiola (coach) & Laporta/Rosell (presidents, although both not v good men) & which is now commonly referred to as the "golden age" of FCB's recent History. Then, from 2012 on, everything kind of started to decline. It's not very visible since we won the treble in 2014-2015 (KING SHIT VISCA BARÇA VISCA CATALUNYA etc. etc.) , but already behind the scenes it was rocky as hell. Political stuff, power struggles within the board, etc. Even that 2014-2015 "golden" season was a mess, what with the breach of the Transfer Regulations (we couldn't sign players until 2016), firing of our sporting director, firing of medical/staff members, lies about state of finances, restriction of said finances, Messi/Enrique/Chelsea conflict, etc. That 2014-2015 team winning the Treble effectively masked to posterity & the general public how fucked up the club's politics were at that time. But on the long run, that bad gestion did end up affecting that team that arguably should've gone on to win way more in 2016 - 2017, what with the bunch of talents we had in hands.

Then there was the Neymar stuff in 2017, Iniesta leaving in 2018. Of course, by then the mess that was the cub began to reflect on our style of play; by 2017/2018 already we weren't playing as good as we had. There were moments of brilliance of course, games to remember, iconic ones, but still. It was already falling, there were ovious issues, weaknesses, boring times, some alarming performances. I think that 2018-2019 UCL campaign symbolizes everything that had changed since that 2015 UCL ; we didn't have a team, we had one guy, surrounded by too unstable performances from players around. As football proves times and times again, you can have the current best player in the world, if he's alone, you'll never win shit. You'll win games, not competitions. That's the beauty of the sport, you need a team, or you'll go nowhere. Ultimately that "downfall" confirmed itself by more harsh and evident results, with the 2019-2022 period being rock bottom. Jesus Christ that period.

As for that Neymar stuff: it's so real complicated. And not as black/white as it appears. As a FCB supporter, when he left, I despised his guts for a bunch of years, genuinely. Many still do, just look at the comments under the rumors of his comeback; large portion of culers don't want him there, because we really saw it as a treason. A guy who left for money and some more fame. I guess you can say the fact that most culers still haven't swallowed that pill six years later is a testament to how much we loved him.

First, let me state that it's fucking tragic, for him as for the club. He left at his prime and, arguably, wasted it at PSG (tell anyone from 2015 that Neymar Jr doesn't have a single Ballon d'Or to his name and they'll rightfully laugh at your face) ; while Barca drowned as well, failing to find a proper replacement (FCB players were upset with the board at that failure), as you said. Had he stayed, as Pep said, and had the club managed itself better (but that in itself prompts the argument of: could they really? After all the decline started in 2014?) we could've won at least one, if not two UCLs. Honestly, now that we can take a few steps back and reflect, it seems none of the parties (except PSG, who propelled itself forward on the European scene) benefited from that move. But in truth, there can be a million reasons he left. We don't know if it was a personnal initiative or one of his family. We don't know how the Remontada and the aftermath really affected this decision. We don't know if he's the one that wanted to step out of « Messi's shadow » or if his father/agent pushed him to. We don't know if it's because Barcelona rendered public some elements of his contract, effectively breaking the trust his side had towards the club. This mess is a mix of money, ego, power, ambition, personnal relationships, psychological stuff in the brain of a 25 years old and his surroundings, Barcelona being Messi's club (whether you want it or not, it has been true since 2009. Barcelona and Messi were (still remain) synonymous, and that in itself paused a problem later on), PR/image manipulation/communication, and background stuff we'll probably never know of/or much later. The guy even pushed to comeback to Barcelona a mere year or two later. The whole Messi part is a theater play in of itself, between a starstruck kid who went on to play with his idol, who became friends and formed the most successfull Trident of the decade with him, who upon each occasion praises him and rambles about their friendship/love for each other, yet leaves. I mean, the guy reportedly told others he was leaving the club on Messi's wedding, without telling Leo - if that doesn't indicates you how fucked up/messy it was in his own head, Jesus. And yet the friendship Neymar had with other FCB players showed through the very summer he left, what with them posting a pic together following the legal actions of FCB against him. So yeah.

I think part of why he stayed at PSG after they retained him from going back to Barcelona is because he's, like every great player, a winner, he wants to get everything, he genuinely wants to give Paris what he came to do, but also cause, in the long run, he's trapped himself there. The more time passed the more it became that kind of need: he wanted/needed his move to mean something, he wanted that UCL so he could feel like he didn't waste so much time and talent and prime there. All in all, it's a bit tragic, I could ramble about it for hours but I'm gonna cut it short now cause that's not your ask lmfao.

Conclusion to the essay: Neymar's transfer to PSG didn't start anything, rather was the consequence and the accelerator of a decline that began years prior in the institution's background. Hope it helped bring some elements to the table, anon! ❤️