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#//fuck this is long as shit
carnivoraformes · 7 months
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//OKAY BUT I AM NOT EVEN JOKING OR TRYING TO BE IRONIC WHEN I SAY THIS: But if anyone wanted to know where Jing Yuan's head is at at any point in his life all they would have to do is pay attention to his sexual preferences and knowledge of his own sexuality and his own willingness for experimentation with sex.
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And before anyone yells at me, no he isn't a sex driven dog. His feelings towards sex and what he likes/wants/needs fluctuated over time and directly mirror where he was mentally. It's just that he likes to hide behind the lazy genius attitude in every other part of his life to keep people from really looking deeper into him and his own thoughts and feelings.
It's partly so no one ever stops to wonder how he is doing because emotional vulnerability from the perspective of not only a boy that became a man but Jingliu's student was an incredibly daunting thing for him. By the time he became comfortable with it he couldn't let the mask slip because he had hundreds of thousands of lives in his hands.
That said two things remained consistent about his life:
Being absolutely lazy.
Always going out of his way to not talk about his own feelings and fears.
"Teen years"/Training years: He was a teenage boy. He was both smart and stupid at the same time. Mostly stupid. Next.
Adult Years In The Quintet: He thought he had wanted to a long term partner, and was vaguely becoming aware that he fell on the bisexual/pansexual spectrum. He understood he was sexually attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender and was busy meeting people.
But at this point he had yet to learn that sacrificing his own happiness to be with a person was not worth it.
This was about the time when he ended up in several polyamorous and open relationships with various people because those he had surrounded himself outside of the quintet were doing it and he thought because they wanted it he was supposed to to.
He wasn't happy but he had deluded himself into believing he was and nothing anyone with way more experience with relationships could have changed his mind. He deluded himself into believing his own discomfort and insecurities were just him being dramatic and selfish.
And that translating to him believing his own feelings both in and outside of his romantic relationships didn't really matter.
End Of The Quintet: After the quintet fell apart, so did he. He effectively lost some of the closest ties he had and as a result he became almost emotionally numb. This lasted for years with him just not being able to form emotional ties with people and those relationships he had he mostly neglected outside of the relationship with his immediate family, because he believed he was being selfish by being so broken about it.
Naturally that entailed him refusing to talk about it with anyone outside of what would be considered polite or was mission necessary.
This actually ended up making him very sex averse, his mind before hand believing sex = romantic relationship = emotional intimacy = literally caring about another person and because he was so closed to off to having personal relationships (romantic and platonic) at the time the idea of sex made him anxious, sometimes to the point of feeling sick.
Roughly A Decade After The Disbanding of the Quintet: EVENTUALLY he managed to process why he was so put off by sex (but not why he was so emotionally numb) and not wanting to remain celibate for the rest of his life because of something he knew should have been totally unrelated to why he was feeling the way he was he kind of eased back into one night stands and the like.
After that he somehow ended up going from one end of the spectrum to the other as a means of coping with the other myriad of feelings he didn't want to think about by experimenting with all kinds of sexual acts.
This was about the point in his life when he was basically open to try everything at least once (and I do mean everything) when it came to sex. It during this time he realized that he was far more open minded than he ever realized.
Side fact: He actually learned so much about the the anatomy of humans, foxians and long lived species through his own sexual exploration. He can't necessarily use alot of this information anymore but he knows them.
Decades After The Disbanding of the Quintet:
Eventually after being around so many people in the various 'sexual deviant' communities he began to make friends and finding people that he formed bonds with. He never really got as close to most of these people as he did to the people he met as part of the Quintet but it did manage to get him on the right track.
After a long time he did end up in romantic relationships here and there but as he was working through his own thoughts he learned more about himself and what he wanted.
He still had a few one night stands and plenty of friends with benefits but eventually he drifted away from many of those people as he began to get the mind set of a future general and for probably the first time in his life he started actually to become genuinely confident in himself, which led to him being confident enough to be upfront with others about what he did and did not want.
After that he started having no problem cutting ties with anyone that didn't want the same things he did or couldn't handle his priorities.
Becoming The General To Current Time: During his early years he dove hard into being a General and it consumed so much of his time that very few personal relationships managed to last. In time though he learned how to lead far more effectively leaving him much more time to form bonds with others and it showed in his occasional flings and a few long term relationships but mostly by how he became known mostly for being lazy.
He kept that up for centuries until Yanqing came around and caring for Yanqing took up so much of his time that being with anyone just kind of fell to the backburner until Yanqing was old enough to be shooed off for a couple hours for him to have a quick tryst with someone then go back to be the general and Yanqing's mentor.
To the right person he would admit ever since Yanqing came around he never really had any serious romantic relationships, simply trysts and the like and he was satisfied with that because being the general and a surrogate father made him happier than he had been in a long time.
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emptyportrait · 7 months
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i'm actually so fucking sick of zionists using phrases such as "Was it worth it, Hamas?" cause literally what the fuck are y'all yapping about??? Israel has been indiscriminately bombing gaza in front of our eyes since last October, Israel has murdered more than 30 thousands Palestinians within 5 months, Israel is forcefully starving gaza, Israel is the one committing war crimes everyday, Israel is continuing genocide and ethnic cleansing. Israel. is. illegally. occupying. Palestine.
we all know who are the perpetrators here. and zionists can't gaslight people into "hamas started it" bullshit anymore. everyone is actually sick of Israel's dumb colonialism propaganda where they just repeat same old tactics “how dare you palestinians resist us, after we have your stolen land, freedom, human rights and subjugated your people under fascist colonial regime.”
Israel carry out atrocities in broad daylight and then go ahead blame Palestinian resistance for the said act of savagery they've performed, "O their audacity!" indeed!
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endusviolence · 7 months
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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?
I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?
In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".
Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.
This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.
Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.
The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]
There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.
This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.
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[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]
As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.
But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?
Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.
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everwalldigan · 2 months
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Bruce: *waking up in a hospital that he drove himself to after having a heart attack and telling absolutely nobody* hey…
The entirety of the batclan looking over him with Dick in the centre, an absolute terrifying grin on his face:
Dick: hello Bruce, nice evening isn’t it? Got something to share with us?
Edit: the fic is now out on ao3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/57780508
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bigfatbreak · 18 days
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they both got bonked for being silly.
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
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nova-rpv · 2 months
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a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
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samyazasheaven · 4 months
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Speaking in the third person... AM -- which is I -- AM is satisfied with the sacrifice. He -- that is to say, I -- will spare the village his -- that is to say, my -- wrath for today. I have -- as I said before -- spoken.
(black and white version under the cut)
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theonewhowails · 8 months
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cult trait: good die young
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for anyone who doesn't have the Return YouTube Dislike Plugin, here's how Watcher Entertainment's "Goodbye Youtube" video is doing right now
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yeah... gonna throw out a yikes on that one
i suspect this number will only keep growing in the coming days/weeks, especially the longer and longer we go without any sort of response.
EDIT: its only been three hours and the number has already jumped to 206K dislikes.
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brother-emperors · 1 year
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something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.
it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.
and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.
on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.
edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.
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Perseus, Daniel Ogden
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Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet
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possiblyawesometmblr · 9 months
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something something redcanary went into the institute ruins to check if it was cleared and died soon after something something the canary was sent to the coal mine to see if it was safe something something alexander j newall and jonny sims i fucking see you
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ghost-bxrd · 7 months
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Prompt:
It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.
But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.
Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne
#look I’ve found a new fave trope and it’s Brucie Wayne having to keep up his act while internally LOSING HIS SHIT#Jason isn’t very into the whole revenge thing here#his mind is 85 parts ‘keep Dami safe’ 5 parts ‘kill joker asap’ and 10 parts ‘avoid bats at any cost’#Jason doesn’t know who Damian’s father is#dealer’s choice if Jason establishes himself as Dami’s dad or older brother#his build certainly makes him look old enough#if you don’t look at his baby face lol#Jason runs into Brucie and goes straight into survival mode#Damian who is very observant for a toddler immediately clocks Brucie as THREAT based on Jason’s reaction#Brucie blue screens and desperately tries not to lose Jason in the crowd#jason is absolutely trying to lose Brucie in the crowd#while clutching Damian like his life depends on it#for all he knows it does#the visceral terror that your pseudo dad will take away your little brother/baby#Bruce who just wants to know if he’s hallucinating again: W A I T#jason who is terrified of being put in Arkham for killing people: no FUCKING WAY#hm maybe Jason plays the ‘I’m not Jason’ game again#it’s not gonna hold for long#but Bruce absolutely thinks that Damian is Jason’s bio child for a while and he’s on the WARPATH#Jason was sixteen when he died and never showed any interest in dating so literally every red flag is waving in brucie’s mind simultaneousl#or maybe Jason manages to get away and all Brucie is left with is the memory of his supposedly dead son#running away from him#and clutching a tiny kid#prompts#jason todd#batfamily#Damian wayne#batdad#brucie wayne
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citnamora · 8 months
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"Friends don't __!" Actually they do you're just a coward
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bigfatbreak · 11 months
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I'm sitting very politely and asking if it would be possible to see Adrien akumatised by Viceroy. Even if you don't want to, letting you know I'm insane about all your AUs (and your art in general, alien behaviour Shadow was so cool), you do such amazing work and I am completely normal about it
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(Caspases' concept art beloooow)
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blamebonk · 11 days
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Trying to cure my fear of drawing sniper
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