#//because ill never get anywhere like this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
kindaasrikal · 4 days ago
Text
I’m so terrified of people that sometimes i stare at their socials and think ‘i should talk to them’ and then just don’t and then realise I’m a lost cause and i go back to drawing depressingly
8 notes · View notes
graceful-not · 1 month ago
Text
Yk what actually. I'm sick of staying quiet Conya is a perfectly fine ship. I don't understand why people dislike it so much. In early Ninjago? Sure, back then it wasn't the greatest dynamic and didn't really have much in terms of actually substantive interactions. But people are still casually hating on it and putting it on DNI lists right next to ships like Greenflame like they're comparable and I'm sickkkk of it it's been YEARS!! Their dynamic has grown so much since then!!!! They're on the same level as Braincell for me in terms of ships I really like I think they have a great and interesting dynamic!!!! They're cute together!!!!!! EVEN OUTSIDE OF MUDSHOCK!!!!! RAGHH!!!!!!!!!
#ninjago#conya#cole brookstone#nya smith#nya jiang#I will always personally prefer platonic Conya but their relationship is still so so important to me in a way thats very specific#to me being Aro. Like. Idk. It's not exactly QPR stuff bc I dont think they would ever label anything but that also means that I don't think#they would hate a romantic label either!!!!!! Raghhh!!!!!!!!!! They're friends above everything else though obviously 💯💯 theyve always#got eachothers backs#Also i do prefer Mudshock just because Conya doesn't make sense to me w/o Jay somehow in the mix unless there's some sort of messy breakup#involved. And. Jay would never really take that well and it would sort of just sour the whole group dynamic esp since Cole is Jays bestie#and ALL OF THAT just to get two characters together feels so shallow to me shdjsgd. Like. Idk. None of that crap is worth it the romance#isnt anywhere near necessary for the two. Their bond is unspoken and they're satisfied enough w/ what they are right now even if they could#be smthn else#I just dont like the 'Lets ruin/throw away all of our othe relationships for LOVE 😍😍!! Because for some reason romantic relationships are#automatically more important and deep and mean more to us than any other relationship so its totally worth it every time!!!' it feels so.#like. amatonormative. Yk?#anyways ill shutup now I LOVE THEM!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!#they make my aro heart really really happy ok. I dont know jow to explain it but i have another post abt them in the conya tag I think
9 notes · View notes
micamicster · 9 months ago
Text
okay in the spirit of the previous post we are going to brute force me into sharing random scenes from fics that are either unfinished or never going to be finished! we are going to do this collaboratively (im fair and benevolent) but i don't want to give any information about said wips (im cruel and dictatorial) so this is going to be a blinded poll <3 vote here <3
15 notes · View notes
sonknuxadow · 10 months ago
Text
NOOOOOO i caved and decided i would just buy the lps from the target website anyway and they decided to go out of stock as i was about to check out. throws up
8 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year ago
Text
genuinely so angry and scared im shaking. how many other times this week this month this year have i been exposed without knowing it. do people even tell each other anymore. it’s just so grim. it’s so fucking grim
#purrs#delete later#covid19#i am fighting for my fucking life every day to stay safe and to keep the people around me some of whom are disabled / chronically ill /#immunocompromised / medically vulnerable safe. i am fucking fighting for my life. it’s already hard that i am usually one of two people in#any given room still wearing a mask let alone an n95 mask. hard and bad enough that we get looks for wearing masks and people think im crazy#for my life still being on hold and for my family still basically never going anywhere. ITS FUCKING WORSE that we are still very much in the#throes of all of it and we are in constant physical and quite frankly EXISTENTIAL danger not only of getting sick / becoming (more)#disabled / literally fucking dying but also returning to the absolute hell of lockdown which while important was psychologically damaging in#ways that are difficult to even articulate. like not only have we as a society decided to not give a shit about unpacking all of that and#healing from the trauma and assuming everyone went through the same thing when we very much did not and to just send everybody back to#school and work because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 but we have ALSO decided to pretend like the freakish unceasing danger just doesn’t exist#anymore and to get rid of every tool we had available to keep us safe or at minimum make people have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to#access them because 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑capitalism🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 !!!!!!! im TIRED. im so fucking tired of it. i am so fucking exhausted and angry and scared. and i#HAVE the luxury and privilege of being able to afford n95 masks and covid tests and to be able to work a job that i can do remotely if i#need to and to not be disabled or immunocompromised. what makes me fucking furious is we decided to throw all the people who don’t have#that access or privilege under the fucking bus and forget about them lol. but what do you expect from a country rotten to its core the way#it is lol. im fucking despondent. why are we living in an incinerator.#* the lockdown(s) werent just important they were necessary. and arguably we should have another one even though if we do i genuinely fear#for my mental health both during and afterwards and quite frankly before. im tired. i am grateful for the life i live which has resulted in#part from the different things that have happened because of the pandemic but i also so desperately wish this never happened and every day I#think about what life would be like if it hadn’t happened. the grief of it all is unspeakably big.
13 notes · View notes
caffeinatedopossum · 1 year ago
Text
Thinking about how I never understood home sickness as a kid who was constantly fantasizing about running away and would do anything to get away from my home for even just a day and how I was so confused and thought that was normal. One time I went to a summer camp for a week and there was this girl crying because she was home sick on the first day and I went to comfort her but one of the staff stopped me and I just did not understand
16 notes · View notes
bogos-bint3d · 11 months ago
Text
Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo
#i say this because you genuinely cannot understand just how insane over her i am that i have legitimately seen almost all the interesting-#-content about her#i am not fucking kidding#if its on like the first 3 pages of anywhere ive searched for her ever. i have seen it. tumblr youtube ao3 google i HAVE SEEN!!!!!!!#ok well not as much with ao3. simply because im always searching for something specific on there. so like. there probably will be some-#-really good things on there i havent seen yet#but still. i have very high standards if there is anything I don't like ill spontaneously combust#and im legitimately like 94% i know literally every single thing about her mentioned in the game. so you wont be able to surprise me with-#-anything there either. but also you never really know so#i mean yeah just feel free to talk to me about her at any time. I wont be able to start the conversation. because like i just cant#but if you mention something interesting enough in the first sentence ill probably be able to keep the conversation going for a good while#sorry i probably sound really rude and snobbish rn cause im all like ''ugh i already know everything im so smart'“#''whatever show me will be beneath me'' BUT I SWEAR THAT IS NOT HOW IM TRYING TO COME OFF#IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST GENUINELY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO GET ACROSS HOW I N E E D IT TO BE SOMETHING NEW AND SOMETHING THAT ILL REALLY-#REALLY WANT TO SEE#IM SO SO SORRY I HATE THAT I SOUND SO RUDE HERE I JUST. like guys i just really want to see something new‚ something thatll make me happy.#sigh#okokok.#all good guys#uhm. yeah. maybe if you find something maybe tell me but also idk because what if i already know about it then dont know what to say. i just#i j . i dont even know man#ok im done#undyne
5 notes · View notes
dirt-str1der · 2 years ago
Text
I literally had a dream about reading the worst fan fiction like fucking ever kiryu was just randomly a yandere and nishiki was trying his best to survive also kiryu turned into a dragon (deez nuts) halfway and let nishiki kill him for being a bad boy but he was so upset about having to kill his bro that he just lay in the corpse for a bit and thats when i decided to stop reading and i literally opened tumblr in my dream to complain about how bad it was like the writing went back and forth from being terrible to incredible and i found myself enjoying some parts and despising others. I skipped the first few chapters so i had to tab back out and read the summary like why are they in a beach resort and the summary didnt just tell me nothing but it was also double spaced between each line and very fucking irritating and while reading it i kept thinking this is extremely ooc and boring like they would not fucking say that
#Listen to my problems#i cant stress enough that i dont even ship them why did i read a sex fic about kiryu and nishikiyamer#like i believe they are the bestest of friends forever and ever and like as hotblooded young men growing up together they must have tried a#few sex moves on each other at least once but i dont think they see each other as romantic prospects. like unlike majima and saejima#(seajima) who are literally together all the time and will never travel anywhere without the other unless its to prison. kiryu and nishiki#have this understanding that eventually theyll have to part ways and find their own path. while they would always remain in each others#hearts and thoughts they knew that they couldnt be holding hands forever and besides they have to focus on getting kazama to the top not#each other !! so nishiki was very happy that kiryu was getting his own family soon even if it meant that kiryu was getting ‘ahead’ of him#and kiryu who can accept consequences for himself but no one else was just like um ... well nishiki please give me the gun and take yumi#your sister needs you or whatever <3 i am definitely expendble and prison life is for me yayy yayyyy i love going to jail so nobody can talk#to me ever again. i keep asking myself how difficult it would have been for kiryu to just pop in by the hospital every now and then to check#in on nishikis sister. its not like he cant take care of her. its not like he doesnt know how to earn money. he just straight up thinks that#nishiki is better than him so he should be the one to get locked up ... because nishiki can take care of yumi and i straigh up forgot his si#sisters name and reina and kazama without him. and nishikis like damn i wish kiryu was here so bad (looks at his wwkd bracelet) hm think ill#go insane. i literally forgot what my original point was but that fic was so bad guys im so glad it doesnt exist#in it kiryu was trying his best to keep nishiki in one place and he kept being very. well kiryu was just kiryu but he kept apologising#saying things like you cant leave yet ... and looking at him with his big sad eyes and nishiki would always be like f-fine ... (he doesnt#like it here) also nishiki was one hell of a princess type and had a nurse costume on at some point which means the yakuza server nishiki#propoganda is working on me. very weird. love the part when kiryu was randomly a big dragon because he utterly filled the hallways of their#little beach shack and his scales were nice and soft and he was lovely. little guy
11 notes · View notes
ribcagewolf · 1 year ago
Text
how to explain how much the theatre backstage pics hurt me
#its rare to have something in your life this large and abandon it#i started doing theatre when i was 9 or 10#i started dancing around then or before too i think#i dont think im a genius but i would not be anywhere near where i am now without it#my entire understanding of people comes from this#its the last remnant of a life i had where i had goals and i could tell where i was going and what i needed to do#to someone on the outside it looks like i never left cuz i do film and music now but i cant explain how different it is#that used to be my entire world. i only spent time there. i literally went to an arts school because i was accepted into a theatre program#and now ive left it all#idk i think about ********** and i start crying#it killed us too#im just completely different now i get stressed thinking about it or when people mention it unrelated to me likedrop that. leave it alone.#i had to kill her and now im dying too#its easy to sell your soul to rock and shred yourself on stage its expected its relieving but the mental damage theatre and dance does is#much much harder to explain#the critics and the directors like you need to constantly question why and discipline yrself#god this is so dumb i need to never look at those images again#i just remember being twelve sitting on the black boxes knowing i had to prove myself ill probably never feel like that agian#and just the basic thing of like. how many of us died from dance. how much it ruined out bodies. ballet is truly a disease#ballet kills children#rahh ive had too much im not thinking straight rn this is all feelings#just. the pride. and safety i felt fromthe backstage view#mitski i cry at the start of every movie because i wish i were doing things too
2 notes · View notes
snekdood · 2 years ago
Text
Yknow what makes me reaentful? How ive been sexually abused so much growing up, no one did shit besides shove me off to a therapist, ive been promised by feminist spaces that ill have a place to heal within them, and as soon as my abusive ex tries to smear me and project their behavior on to me by accusing me of doing that shit too, all the sudden everyone acts suspicious, and i still dont get any of that promised healing. Its hard not to feel like my ex did this intentionally to prevent me from having a space to heal. And its my issue with the "believe victims" narrative because it seems to me like people dont actually want to believe victims but to believe the victims they *like* and *agree more with politically*. If people can just say whatever about someone and you feel obligated to believe them because "believe victims", its very clearly going to be exploited by abusive people, and while i dont think we should stop per se, we need to have some sort of actual system to vet who is and isnt telling the truth, like a pseudo-courtroom. At the very least let everyone and their side of the story actually be heard. Bc idk how you guys plan to believe two victims at once who are accusing eachother other than throwing your hands up and picking one or deciding that we're both bad, which doesnt seem very fair to me since people seem to looove demonizing me for no discernable reason.
#anyways ive lost faith in feminist spaces in actually being a place to heal#it kinda just feels like cliques to me dawg.#maybe it used to be sorta healing but i never actually got to find a support system or anything anywhere.#like idk man. maybe the reason ppl go to the right is bc yall are cutthroat and do everything based on vibes.#if i cant even get help and healing from yall like you promise whats the feminism label even for besides for spreading awareness?#because i feel like ill always be excluded because i dont fit the recquired aesthetic.#there needs to be a space for dudes to go to heal too. and id ideally not have to go to one of the mra type spaces.#idk but im just disenchanted with this whole movement. so many unfulfilled promises.#too many terfs infiltrating it also.#im left out in the cold and no one cares and everyone pretends to care about victims but cant even bring themselves to image that i#was the one who was victimized. why should i rely on these spaces at all. its clear yall favor the more fem person in any situation#like this.#also unrelated but related this website is trash and most people on here suck so fucking much.#the mostly cliquey cutthroat spaces for being so 'caring' like you like to think yourselves as.#'oh well we have to be careful so just in case we're gonna kick you out!!' oh really#is that the feminism you were talking about?#youll leave me out on the streets based on a rumor? and if you find out theyre lying then what will you do? are you gonna come over to me#weeping about how you shouldnt have believed them and how sorry you are? bc chances are ill already be dead from starving#but yknow. believe whatever anyone says about someone else. sorry i meant victims*#itd be so so funny to me if someone came up to me with that justification for why they ostracized me and then be like 'how can you be mad!#i didnt know better!! you cant be mad at people for not knowing better >:(' the hell i fucking cant lmao!#yall perpetuated a narrative about me to actively grind my name in the dirt. and im not allowed to be mad?#yall ostracized and excluded me from spaces i need to rely on for community and healing.#yall did nothing for me and threw me in the fucking trash. yeah. i think im allowed to be upset with you and want you to go fuck yourself.#if you believed them and found out theyre a liar. cool. leave me the fuck alone though. go make a post about it and try to rectify the#situation you contributed to you pos.#yknow. maybe itd be one thing if you believed them and i didnt do anything and you apologized.#its a WHOLE OTHER FUCKING THING. WHEN YOU BELIEVE THEM. IM INNOCENT. AND *IM*THE ONE WHO WAS#SEXUALLY ABUSED AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED TO THE FUCKING MOON AND BACK. and then think an apology is enough.#like go fuck yourself. ive been alone with this trauma this whole time you pieces of shits.
2 notes · View notes
sonknuxadow · 2 years ago
Text
im not super into shipping sonic characters these days despite what my url might lead you to believe. like dont get me wrong theres ships i like but shipping is not a very high priority for me and the list of ships i actually really like is very short. However. i still think the idea of sonics rivals who are around the same age as him all secretly (or not so secretly) having a crush on him and not knowing what to do about it is sooo funny
36 notes · View notes
cherry-shipping · 2 years ago
Text
ive tlaked about this before but even though i like regular sized sans (same height as me, maybe like an inch taller idk) itsy bitsy teeny tiny sans is also so great. i like carrying tiny sans and him latching onto me like a stupid little koala bear
3 notes · View notes
ryoki-ph · 2 years ago
Text
just wasted the entirety of the night sleeping and thinking about gender GODDAMNIT it is literally 4 am now
1 note · View note
hannie-dul-set · 1 month ago
Text
having the worst fucking week of my LIFE i can't do this anymore.
#4 days straight government events at my internship. thesis got fucking overhauled by our adviser.#because he's using us to compete with his colleagues at the office.#had to juggle those two (+ my event. ill get to that later) that i got SICK what the fuck.#had the event ive been planning for about two months earlier. the fucking uni's general services office were assholes and caused us major#delays#which led to us getting fucking RAINED on so we had to CANCEL it HALFWAY and all of my kids#work on the stage and venue design got soaked in the rain#on top of all of these.#when i got back home after half a day of thesis. half a day of org work. my mom tells me#that rini and woong got taken by their mom and she can't find them anywhere#their bitch of a mother that leaves them starving all day to fucking sunbathe!!!!#i was bawling for a good thirty minutes last night UGH im pretty sure she just took them to the back of the house somewhere.#my mom's gonna ask help from the neighborhood kids to look for them huhuhuhuhu.#id be fine with it if the mom takes care of them. i seriously never tried to bother them too much until this weekend because i thought the#mom has been taking care of them but she hasn't so i had to feed them myself and sHE TOOK THEM AWAY 😭😭😭😭.#god i'm having the worst time.#and now i have to clean the aftermath of this ti#week's hell before i can finally fucking relax in my room.#i hate it here.#at least i'm hot.#event costume was an emo tiefling with a nearly six foot tall axe.#wore it while commuting to uni!!! loved the stares that i got it was very validating!!!!!!!!!!#gonna add that since this week has been pure shit#the only things that i had looking forward to at the end of every day was seeing my cats and feeding them and id feel instantaneously better#but now they're not around!!!!!! so i'm extra fucking sad!!!! god i feel like sobbing again!!!!!#there were only two things that i asked from the lord today.#that it wouldn't rain. and that i'd get my cats back.#neither of those fucking happened!!!!!!!!!! my event was thrown to hell and i still miss my fucking cats!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 notes
brainjuicey · 2 months ago
Text
for someone that finds it so difficult to connect with peers, its a cruel circumstance to be deprived of any productive familial relationship
#no father a broken mother grandparents who despise us mentally unwell uncles estranged cousins abusive aunts#a lifetime of hurtfully ended friendships#and im crying today after wasting a whole day just because i have nothing that can end this pain because#my mother will always prioritise abusive men and her abusive parents over me and i cant fix her#and i hate her for it. i have so much anger inside me#but she is the only one who has ever claimed to love me#and i will never get another family. ill never have more parents. ill never get my childhood back#i will never know so much love that i only discovered in my adulthood to be something almost everyone else has#and sure i can have a meaningful life of kindness and compassion and responsibility but i will never have unconditional love#this. and now i am free falling through the world#i have to escape and yet anywhere i go i will only be more alone#pacified with feats and impressions and ego. people bragging and trying to attain me. using me. misunderstanding me.#what can i really say to the world? what do i even have to give when im empty?#if one more person says im cool and never makes an effort to know me instead of make them and myself feel ?good? about being ?individualist?#in a way they approve or look up to#they can never understand the pain and separation it takes to be an individual by nature. not choice. not for sport or hobby#for every man I've understood and every friend that ive reassured and validated. ive never once been held myself#ive never been understood and im going to tear concrete apart with my fingernails if i have to feel like this any longer#loneliness so strong i have to build myself a home inside it to survive
0 notes
arolesbianism · 6 months ago
Text
Having a rain world oc moment. Dysfunctional family of the year award, they were so toxic that one of them found a way to kill themselves in a world where that was supposed to be physically impossible
#rat rambles#rain posting#oc posting#tbc Im talking abt my sliver local iterator group ocs that exists in a narrative place that borders on au#as in the stuff I do with sliver there is the sort of thing Id Never want to be anywhere near canon as I think the best thing narratively#would be for sliver to legitimately just be some guy who happened to find the solution first#but for my enjoyment and the sake of exploring some hashtag themes I chose to have this bubble where they should never breach#oh also idk if Ive said this but Ive renaimed star shes now a stars gaze 👍#just thought her old name was a bit too similar to moon's + it stood out a bit too much amongst the rest of her circle#I also should probably get around to doing a second take on her design at some point since my first concept was very eh#and then maybe one day Ill get to the other three lol#golden boon is a big maybe tho cause quite frankly I don't wanna figure out what I want to do with her design#oh this reminds me I should probably rename to the horizon too simply because her name is kinda boring#I mean all of them are in a way but like y'know#untold prosperity is more of a fit vibe wise than the other three but star is named after her location and the other two were named by a#shitty rich guy who built one of them to be a company town and the other to be a shitty rich person vacation spot#and by built I mean commissioned ofc#this is why boon's puppet just absolutely sucks for them to be stuck with due to it being decorated super heavily#like he has a full gold mask and everything she had to tear that thing off at some point to prevent fruther complications#I could just rename horizon to golden horizon for the bit#just make it abyndantly clear that these two had the same sponsor and he had no ideas#I might actually do that I think itd be funny#but yeah tbf to boon horizon and prosperity sliver mostly did what she did because of star#but on the other hand they absolutely did not help the situation at all and were violently emotionally distant from her the entire time#prosperity wasnt at first intentionally pushing sliver away. they were just too focused on trying to contact star after she cut her coms#but then star sent her 50 page essay on why she hates horizons guys and how she things theyre a horrible person and they snapped#the two used to have a fairly friendly relationship and were much closer back when they were the only two iterators in the area#but as the others came along a rift started forming between the two as prosperity tried rly hard to be the responsible one of the group and#felt that star was forcing all the work of maintaining their volitile fellow iterators onto them#and star felt like horizon had become less and less of a friend and more and more of a coworker every cycle
0 notes