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#//and his knee is still healing from that time Mikey broke it
awzominator · 15 days
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Day 13 Scars
the amount of effort I had to put into these and they still don’t look how I want is frustrating but alas time is not on my side
ramblings under the cut
Mikey: Gave Mikey Lichen Burns from that one time he got disintegrated and then reanimated via electricity. He died n got better and honestly it is one of the most violent injuries that I recall for him. Like he plays it off so easily cuz he has super powers and all that jazz but that’s so messed up. Also Raph yelling for him OOOFFFFF will never forget how filled w rage and hurt that dude was. He was ready to kill ❤️ Such a wild episode and I love how Mikey was so depended on in order for the plan to succeed. It was Mikey’s turn for the Self sacrificing bit and he crushed it
Leo: Get Shreddered idiot!!! The fucked up knee and throat from when he got beat up and thrown thru the window. This is def my fav event to happen which is a wild thing to say. It’s the most obvious thing to go for but I personally loved the farmhouse arc and Leo’s need for recovery. That dude is still not well and is repressing stuff but they don’t have time to heal. Their lives are too chaotic, too much is on the line, and Leo can’t afford to take the time to heal 100% none of them can tbh. I know a lot of ppl hate how 12 handled his knee injury but I loved it Bc it’s obviously not better but he’s a stubborn idiot who chooses to push everything down and out. He is the healthiest turtle for sure. I’m pretty sure in later episodes his knee gives out a few times don’t quote me tho it’s been a few years aha
Raph: His broken shell! After watching Lone Rat and Cubs and seeing where it came from, I always wondered if Splinter looks at it with loads of regret. A physical sign of his short comings that one time they almost got caught by the Kraang. A warning and a constant reminder they’ll never be safe, that splinter wont always be able to protect his babies no matter how hard he fights. I also like to HC he becomes the most hovering and overprotective of Raph while he’s still recovering Bc that shell broke so easy. Honestly seeing screen shots of close ups of Raphs shell is awesome to see both shell and plastron are broken.
Donnie: UGHHH THIS DUDEEEE !!!!! Literally had the hardest time Bc he goes thru a lot also but it’s more emotional and mental dude is fuked up in the head fr. I asked several ppl for help Bc I didn’t want to do another lichen burn thing from Karai’s trap. In the end I played around w the suggestions to see what would look most appealing to me. The scars on arm are from Slash (such a good episode thank you for the suggestion 🙌) as his arm was injured and in a sling at the end of the episode. The head scar def a big creative liberty Bc he does get injured there a lot ahah. I was thinking of Fourtrap again which lead to thinking about the time that Leo blew him up accidentally during is emo phase XD
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jasminegazer · 2 months
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Chapter 9 Part 1
Flashes of the fight flew past Leo’s eyes. Hands grabbing him. Arms locking him into place before the sharp pain his neck. Donnie and Raph’s faces as his head pounded before a numb shock.
RAPH! DONNIE!
Leo snapped his head up like a nutcracker slamming against another skull. Ow ow ow ow OW! Loud muffled voices were turned to his direction before something hit him back. OW!
Through his tight wince he opened his eyes. Whoever these people were, they put a duffel bag on his head. It made him feel stuffy and hot, feeling his own struggling breathes against his face.
He tried moving his arms but an arm around each of his own as well as a cold metal chain kept them in place behind him. Now normally this would be any easy feat to put a persons hands behind their back. But Leo was not normal and had shell. So he had to deal with the high discomfort of both chains and the edge of his shell. Greeaat.
Come on Leo! Think!
His legs were free. Maybe he could use that. He was, unfortunately to Raph’s liking, very bad on his feet but he was still a ninja.
Leo sucked in breath before trying to lock his legs in place. But his feet were just dragged against the harsh cement. And that hurt. Before he could try again, he was forced onto his knees, scrapping even more on the cement. A hand pushed down on the back of his shell as another yanked the duffel bag off his head.
There was no blinding light in face like they did in movies thank God but instead a darkness only shied away from by the moonlight.
Leo’s thought got cut short by a hands yanking his head back up. The face he was met with was one he would definitely avoid if he saw it at any other time. The face of some jerk who believed everyone should bow down or become some kind of zombie henchmen just by their presence. A manic smile crept up his face. “Well what do you know? The plan worked.”
What plan? I don’t have time for this I have to get back to Raph and Donnie and find-
“Leo?”
His little brother sounded so scared. But he was here. He was ok. Leo found him.
“Mikey?”
But his relief was quickly replaced by rage and his own fear looking at his brother’s body. Bruises in variety of sizes and color were almost everywhere. Blood trickled down the back of his neck and down his arms. None of those wounds managed to compare with the fear on his face. The fear caused by them.
Leo didn’t think through the swirling panic in his brain. Thrashing against the tight hold of the chains on his arms and hand on his face. “LET US GO!” He growled eyes screwed shut to avoid whatever could trigger him further on the outside.
Anxiety had quickly added itself to the storm in his brain. Lightning bolts of pain from struggles added to the pressure. He needed to get Mikey away from here now. His littlest brother was hurt and scared. He needed to be treated by at least Raph immediately. The injuries that peaked around from the back of his skull hinted that he had been slammed against the pillar behind him.
What if his shell was cracked? What if it was bleeding? What if-
Another sharp thwack of a spike bristled hand against Leo’s head broke him from his suffocating thoughts. The jerk in front of him forcefully grabbed his chin, yanking his head up to look at the cruel smile that formed. He was enjoying this. He was enjoying their pain and suffering like a tv show. “How about, no?”
As Leo face scrunched up in hatred, his captor broke into a cruel chuckle. “You two will be staying right here. That is until you’re ready for pick up.”
Through his anger, he shot a quick glance at his little brother. But who he saw didn’t look like Mikey. The orange banded turtle before him looked too stunned for that. Too lost. Too quiet. Too blinded by fear with no hope of optimism. But worst of all he looked too much like he had a month ago. When they were all healing and his little brother could barely hold it together.
Mikey was the one that made them feel better who built them back up when they got taken down. When Donnie got cyber bullied and it made him question himself Mikey talked him through it. When Raph got into big arguments with him Mikey talked to him in a way that made him listen for once. When Leo had a sensory overload Mikey was there with his breathing lessons and a favorite movie.
All of those times when they hadn’t felt like themselves, Mikey knew what to do. Almost like he knew them better than they did. But now Leo was looking at a turtle he wasn’t sure was the same.
Leo wanted to comfort him. To tell him it was gonna be ok. To take him home and make sure that he would be ok.
Sounds of vehicles in the distance stopped the conversation. “Ah. I guess you’ll be leaving sooner than I thought.”
No no no no no no No NO!
They couldn’t leave yet. Leo needed to find Raph and Donnie. He needed to tell them to stay away from here. He needed to get away from here. He needed to at least get Mikey out of here.
In the middle of his panic, Leo spotted a shadow moving above him. When he looked in the direction of the action, aka the giant whole in the ceiling, another shadow vaulted past. With … a glint of light reflecting off … something? Like glass?
Glasses! Donnie! Raph!
Leo must have let his excitement show because his captor turned to glare at where he was staring before swiftly returning it to the mutant. “What are you smiling about fre-?”
“GET THE SHELL AWAY FROM MY BROTHERS ASSHOLE!”
In a flash, Raph smashed his foot into his face, sending the criminal flying to the other side of the warehouse. After he made quick work of the two holding him in place his twin rushed to his side. “Leo!”
“Raph!” Leo excepted the embrace. Thank God. After a moment Raph pulled back unsheathing two swords, handing them off to him. Right. We still have a mission here. “Thanks.” Leo could hear Donnie in the background. He rose to his feet as he spoke. “You and Donnie fend the rest of these guys off. I’ll get Mikey. But when I give the signal we’re out here.”
“Got it.” Raph ran off to the fight as Leo turned to get to Mikey. Either his plan in action no one who was nearby needed anything more than a kick or a shove out of the way.
When Leo got to his little brother the weights on his chest felt like they were drop down his throat and into his stomach. Mikey hanging limp against the chains holding him up. He put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to gently shake him awake, his voice dropping to a flat mutter. “Mike. Come on.”
Mikey groaned in response, hissing when Leo clenched the bruise forming on his shoulder too hard. Stepping back and taking a breath, Leo broke the chains in one swing. With Mikey detached from the pillar, he had a clear shot of the damage. It was cracked all spiraling to a whole in the center. Right where his head was. Coated with a thin layer of blood. The back of Mikey’s head looked like anyone could dent it with the smallest touch. But no one would probably ever wanna do that from the mere sight of it.
God Mikey. I’m so sorry.
Leo readjusted his little brother onto his back in a piggyback ride. “Raph! NOW!”
His twin stood beside Donnie as they both looked back with nod. Raph pulled a smoke bomb out of his pouch raising into the air. Leo raised his one as they smashed them down in unison and Pow!, they were gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the rooftops Leo ran as fast as he could. He didn’t mind that he wasn’t thinking straight. He didn’t care that Donnie was mapping the way home (even though that was his job that he usually fought for). He was going to get Mikey home. Now.
Leo felt the arms around his shoulders tighten ever so slightly. His little brother murmured in a small voice. “Leo. Where are we going?”
Leo moved a hand to squeeze Mikey’s as he felt his brother fade again. “Home, Mikey. We’re going home.”
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Man I had an internal battle while fighting this. Our boy in orange gets to go home in celebration of Tales of the Tmnt being UNBELIEVABLY GREAT (that and we had to get to that part of the story). The last three parts coming up are definitely gonna be way more fun to write as I try to wrap this up before September(edit:spoilers I failed at that attempt). Hope y’all like this.
Cowabunga turtle fanz!
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basorexia-formyboys · 2 months
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SFW 2005
Baji×Draken Part Four
Content warnings: angst (eventual comfort), moderately detailed panic attack
Tags: @love-and-lore @savedbysinners
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Draken watched Baji flatline twice before they even made it to the hospital. He rushed beside the paramedics pushing the gurney all the way to the doors of where they'd perform surgery. As soon as the black uniform clad delinquent sat, he was back to that curled position. Arms wrapped around himself tight, knees to his chest, forehead against his knees.
It looked and felt like he was trying to hide. In this moment, Draken was realizing but trying to deny how important Baji alone was to him. It felt like his entire world was at risk of shattering. Could Toman truly exist without Baji?
Could Draken exist without Baji? If he could, the blond wasn't sure life would ever be the same. Draken knew it wouldn't. Life without Baji would be so different it made Draken's body feel buzzy in the worst ways to even think about it.
"Is he okay??" Mitsuya asked while rushing into the room with Kazutora and the others on his tail. He'd made it very clear that Mikey wasn't to come at Kazutora in any way because Baji wouldn't want that. There was tension that wasn't being acted on but it quickly turned to worry about how uncharacteristic they could all immediately tell Draken was. Especially when the vice commander looked up at them and his cheeks were occupied by still falling tears.
"He–" Draken choked over the lump in his throat and his gaze shot down to the ground in shame. It almost broke him but he gulped down the emotional pain that threatened to make him cry like the terrified child he felt like. "He flatlined twice, they're doing surgery right now"
The words were audibly forced and Mitsuya was quick to walk over to Draken and take the seat beside him so he could hug Draken tight. They were all terrified but Chifuyu, Kazutora, Mikey, and Draken were by far the most scared. They all needed Baji.
It felt like hours before the 'surgery in progress' light flicked off. The doctor that came out nearly jumped at the intense focus on him but gave a short nod.
"He'll survive but he will need to stay in the hospital while he heals." With the doctor's confirmation that the fanged teen would survive, they all could've melted with relief.
"oh thank god" Draken whispered, nearly whimpered, but it was very audible in the quiet room where everyone was still processing their gratitudes to good doctors, hospitals, and modern medicine for existing. None of them blamed Draken's verbal reaction because it was the same thing they were all thinking.
"I'll be back" Draken forced out, standing before anyone could ask what he was doing or where he was going.
Just like Mikey when Draken hardly survived on August third, the taller blond was one to hide his more intense emotions. Draken couldn't remember a single time he'd cried as hard as he did when he got to the roof of the hospital. He walked to the raised walls that supported the condenser units for the ac in the hospital and he slid his back down them.
Out here, alone and without people to see or judge, Draken just broke. His shaky voice and choked out words before paled in comparison to the cries he let out now. He cried out for Baji to not scare him like that again, to not be so reckless, to survive this with no permanent damage aside from a scar.
The blond was sobbing so hard his lungs hurt and it felt like his heart was beating out of his chest. Every centimeter nerves felt electrified and it honestly felt like this was possibly the worst he'd ever felt in his life. He didn't blame Baji at all. He did blame Kazutora but couldn't do anything about it for the exact same reason Mikey couldn't, because Kazutora was important to Baji.
Important enough to die for.
Draken swore to a god he didn't entirely believe in that he would kill Kazutora himself if the gold eyed teen put Baji's life at risk again. If Baji died, Kazutora would follow by Draken's hands and only his.
Draken was ripped from his thoughts, having still been choking out cries, by Mitsuya's hand on his shoulder and a worried frown when Draken jolted hard and immediately restrained the noises of his emotional pain.
"Cry, it's okay." Mitsuya sat beside Draken and the blond immediately gave up the half-assed attempt to not sob. He cried to his sworn about everything he was feeling with no holding back.
From how he'd kill Kazutora if Baji died all the way to how deep his mind spiralled at how much it'd ruin him if he lost Baji. In Draken's mind, Baji was first, Mitsuya was second, and Mikey was third as far as most trusted people went. So he had very little hesitancy in telling Mitsuya that he felt like a scared child, like his world had been ready to shatter, that the importance Baji held in Draken's heart was on a whole different level than everyone and everything else.
"Even Emma?" Mitsuya couldn't keep the question from leaving his mouth, pastel purple eyes closely watching Draken for a response. The vice commander didn't stumble in his answer at all.
"So much more than Emma. More than her, more than Mikey, more than Toman, more than the actual world. I'd rather lose all of Shibuya than lose Baji" Draken's hands moved to wrap around his head that was forming a headache from how stressed he was and how hard he'd been crying. His face felt buzzy and that was one of many reasons he hated crying like this.
"My heart feels like it's trying to break my sternum. It wants to run to Baji and stay with him and make sure he's alive and safe. I was so fucking scared when he went and joined Valhalla, I didn't want to lose him. I can't lose him. If he had asked me to run to Valhalla with him, I think I might have." When he was with his twin dragon, Draken could remove the filter between his thoughts and his words. So he just let it all spill free for Mitsuya to help him with.
"I want to protect him from Kazutora. I want to protect him from every damn thing in this world. I want him to rely on me to be there and keep him safe if he needs it." Draken's words were shaky and tear-stained but his sobs had calmed.
Mitsuya didn't want to be amused or entertained right now, not when Draken seemed to be coming out of a panic attack, but him not wanting to didn't stop that he was. There was no doubt now that the feelings were reciprocated. He was happy for the two and now he could only gently guide them to confess.
"It sounds like you love him. Love love." Mitsuya's right hand reached out and rubbed Draken's upper back, black eyes lifting and looking to Mitsuya in confusion. The purplet could see the question swirling in those eyes. 'But what about Emma?'
"I'm not sure what you should do about Emma but it's clear that your love for Baji trumps your love for her. Even if you dated her, your love for Baji wouldn't just disappear. But it's also the same way around. But that's if your love for Emma was ever romantic in the first place." Mitsuya took pride that he could sometimes help others with their feelings even if he was lost on his own more often than not.
Draken nodded and looked at the tiles in front of him. While Mitsuya still rubbed his back, Draken's own right hand removed his hairtie and ran through his braid to undo it.
"Why the hell did I have to go falling for him? This is so fucked, he's going to hate me." Draken, now with his hair free and his right hand running aimlessly though it, was feeling that fear build up again. Would he be the one to hurt Baji, not Kazutora?
"I can promise you he won't hate you. We know Baji better than that, he wouldn't let something like this change anything." Mitsuya tried to avoid giving away Baji's love for Draken because he wanted the two to be able to confess their own feelings but it was so damn hard.
Luckily an upset Draken was a Draken that took to certain statements easily. The blond nodded and seemed to try to encourage himself to calm down. Maybe if he let himself think on a nicer path?
"Would it be cheesy to confess while burning a car with him? Or I can do it like a stupid schoolgirl and put a note in his shoe locker while he's at school, or tuck one into Peke J's collar?" Draken huffed a small laugh that was an attempt at cheering himself up. Mitsuya snerked at how dorky Draken got when he was anxious about confessing.
The talks they'd had about him confessing to Emma were never like this. Those plans were always simple. Confess with a plush gift, a rose, some piece of jewelry. Draken didn't seem to know how to do something personalized for the blond girl even with how much he knew her. His heart had never been fully into it.
"You could combine those ideas and make him go on a little scavenger hunt. You and I both know he loves playing detective. You could put a note in his locker that points him to Peke J and then have the note in the collar lead him to somewhere where you can burn a car together. You can even be super cheesy and write 'be mine?' with gasoline and light that up?" Mitsuya chuckled at the thoughts that felt like they belonged more in some rom-com that everyone hates so much that they love it.
Draken breathed a laugh and got a small smile, nodding. Mitsuya had never seen Draken the way he looked now. Those eyes shone even without the sun hitting them directly, the blond's cheeks were dusted pink, and the smile had more emotion to it than the second division captain had ever seen. Even right after crying his heart out, Draken looked like he couldn't feel lighter.
"You two are going to be an amazing couple. I call dibs on being your best man, okay? I also call dibs on making your suits or whatever you two want to wear" Mitsuya's words were lightly teasing and immediately received flustered complaints from the taller delinquent. But Draken never denied anything Mitsuya said and that made the latter happy.
"Now, should we go back to everyone? They're very worried about you." Mitsuya started standing, more saying the question to communicate what they'd be doing because he knew Draken would agree.
"Yeah, sorry for worrying you dumbasses" Draken chuckled and stood up too, not having any plans on rebraiding his hair. He put it in a loose messy bun like he wore most mornings and followed Mitsuya back into the building.
"We're the dumbasses? Says the one who didn't know he loved his first division captain" Mitsuya immediately kicked into teasing brother mode and Draken turned bright red.
"Oh fuck off, you think I don't see how you eye Hakkai? You look at him like Mikey looks at a kids meal, you're going to devour that poor guy." Draken was jokingly glaring until he made the comparison. Both went silent for a moment before breaking out in laughs despite Mitsuya realizing he was very much not subtle in his own crush. He knew Draken wouldn't go saying anything though, so he didn't exactly mind.
The two walked into the waiting area while calming their breaths from laughing and the others eased seeing Draken much calmer and eased.
"How are you?" Kazutora had been roughly pulled from his destructive delusions when he watched Baji go to stab himself. The Kazutora here was one that knew he was at fault for Shinichiro and Baji even if he wasn't entirely ready to admit it. The Kazutora here was the newest member of Toman and worried about his friend and vice commander. Draken sighed with a smile and nodded.
"I'm alright, had to deal with some shit. How are you all?" Draken was vague because he knew he couldn't hide how pink his under-eyes were. He couldn't hide the rasp to his voice and how sore his throat was from sobbing until he couldn't breathe. So he changed the focus.
Everyone was in similar but very toned-down states as Draken had been in. Of course they were hurting and scared but Baji wasn't the other half of them like he was to Draken. The vice commander nodded and took a deep breath, wondering if it'd be too much for one day if he offered to buy everyone a meal at some fast food place or cafe. Maybe even the place they ate when they first got their uniforms?
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dyke-mecha · 7 months
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This is for broken trifecta for the ask game: 15,19,57,58,63,65,66,75 Donnie
<33333
15. Is the Hamato clan history relevant? How did the clan originate?
It‘s relevant in the fact that it ties into whatever hot mess Splinter, Shredder and Shen have going on. The Hamato and footclan merged together under the shared leadership of Splinter and Shredder. It didn‘t take very long until Splinter was like „fuck you fuck this we‘re splitting off again“, but part of the Hamato clan stayed with the footclan. Shen was initially on his side, but later felt like she‘d been wronged by both of them and proceeded to tear the Hamato clan up from the inside and use its remaining power to put pressure on Saki.
Seeing his whole life, the clan that he‘d been tasked with leading by his parents, destroyed, Splinter did the first rational thing any of them have ever done and quit. He‘s still carrying the, like, values and history of his clan with him, but the actual clan has been eaten up in their power struggle.
The Hamato and footclan were founded a loooong time ago, both with the goal of stopping the krang from taking over earth. While the Hamato clan just wanted them gone again, the footclan wanted to make the krang their own. The Hamato clan eventually managed to get the krang to leave and both clans kept the stories of that era alive, though most people stopped really believing them a while ago.
19. Do any characters get disabled during the story?
Oh boy. Mikey loses their left arm and Donnie gets its carapace shattered partially. Sorry :(
57. Are any characters disabled?
All of them!!! Splinter broke his right knee when he was a human and it never really healed. Leo got a permanent injury on her right knee too (and yes, it‘s a running joke that she inherited it from Splinter like everything else - even though they‘re not blood related). Mikey like I said is an amputee and sometimes still gets phantom pain, and Donnie has his shell injury, but also carpal tunnel and nerve damage (caused by the mutation). Raph has osteoarthritis, April has chronic migraines and Casey has epilepsy and had to get cervical disk replacement surgery. Karai/Miwa have chronic pain from getting injured a lot and Mona has chronic fatigue and chronic dizziness (very bad for flying spaceships, but that doesn‘t discourage her).
58. Are any characters neurodivergent?
Splinter is the token neurotypical😔 Leo has depression and anxiety, Donnie is autistic and has unspecified bipolar, Raph has psychosis and OCD, Mikey has ADHD. April got that psychotic swag as well (as a symptom depression in her case) and Casey has ADHD and depression. Mona has pretty bad social anxiety and also severe PTSD. Actually, all the turtles get PTSD during the story too. Sorry
Okay, I lied, Splinter also has PTSD after getting mutated and then during the story getting kidnapped. That‘s gonna stick with him for a while
63. Is Splinter the turtles’ dad, sensei or both?
He‘s both, but he‘s a little shit at it. He‘s trying, but it‘s like a situation where the parent messes the children up because of their own baggage. As a sensei, it takes him a while to find a balance between training them and giving them time to goof off, but he‘s managing that pretty well around the time he gets kidnapped.
65. Is April considered a sibling?
Not really! She‘s a very close friend of the turtles and does act a little bit like an older sister to them, but that‘s really all there is to it. Those are her weird sewer-dwelling friends, not her weird sewer-dwelling siblings.
66. Does April consider Splinter a parent?
She very much doesn‘t. She only gets to know Splinter at the end of act III, when the turtles get him out of kidnapping hell, so up to that point all she knew about him was what the turtles told her. And that made him sound like a pretty pathetic, sad man.
75. Tell us a fun fact about Donnie’s species!
Golden coin turtles are used in folk medicine! Sorry Donnie, you‘re getting turned into healing jelly. Golden coin turtles are also really expensive, apparently they‘re sold for up to $25k
Send me more here!
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Still thinking about feral DDMG Splinter.
The first time the guys interacted with Splinter like that was after he broke his leg.
Splinter has one very important rule that he expects the boys to follow no matter what and they do, usually: when it gets to 2am stay in your rooms and do not leave for any reason until 2:30am. The rule exists because Splinter knows he isn't himself during that time, and is worried about what he'd do to them. The Turtles follow it, because better safe than sorry, even though they know after 2:01 Splinter will have already left the house and be well on his way to New York.
So it's some years before they actually interact with feral Splinter.
His leg had been broken and was healing badly. Feral Splinter isn't capable of thinking he needed to take it easy, or of remembering to grab his crutches before he left, so had been walking, running and climbing with a broken leg for weeks.
That pretty much meant Splinter could barely walk the rest of the time - putting any weight at all on that leg became too painful and Socorro was sincerly starting to doubt if the leg would heal at all. It does, eventually, but Splinter will have a limb and a leg that's very noticably bent for the rest of his existance.
It's not accurate to say the pain doesn't affect feral Splinter. It does, but his mind is on other things, so for a good few weeks he's able to ignore the pain.
Until even he can't.
Leo wakes up one night at 2:03 to what sounds like violent banging on the ground floor. There's quiet bangs in between, but every 20 seconds or so there's another loud BANG.
Splinter should not be home still, so Leo thinks maybe someone has broken in.
His door opens and Raph walks in, wanting to know if Leo heard the noise too.
Downstairs, they can still heard the banging.
Leo and Raph are both 16 and had only recently moved into the house. Mikey and Donnie were still living in the Children's Home, and would be until the Lair was fixed up fully. They've got a phone, so can call for help, but it'd take time for any of the Parents group to get there.
When it's 2:10 and they can still hear banging, they decide to risk it and go have a look.
They find Splinter near the front door, on his hands and knees, trying to stand. Each time he falls down. As they watch, he tries shadow walking, and at best he sinks into the floor and gets spat out of the ceiling.
The sound of him slamming into the floor makes Leo's leg hurt.
Niether of them know what to do. Splinter had warned them to stay away from him when he was like that, but they can't do nothing. Feral Splinter is still Splinter, which means Feral Splinter is their father, their dork of a father who they're very protective of.
At 2:12, Splinter stops trying to stand or shadow walk, and switches to trying to crawl, dragging his leg behind him. But then Raph gets between him and the door, and won't move out of the way.
Raph gets weakly hissed at, but the noise stops the moment he says "Splinter, please, stop."
Splinter also stops trying to leave, and Raph doesn't know if he'd just given up or a request from one of his kids was stronger than whatever compelled him to leave in the first place.
2:13 saw both boys sat on the floor with their father. Leo managed to get a pillow beneath Splinter's leg, Splinter snapping at him only once when Leo accidently twisted it. It's just Splinter snapping his jaws at Leo, not actually bitting him, a rat yokai way of saying "Stop that now! That hurt!"
After that, the rat ghost just laid there and watched the door.
At 2:31, they heard a groan and Splinter sat up, thoroughly confused about why he was still home, and more than a little concerned about why his sons were right next to him. Also, his joints were killing him, and before they explained what happened, he was genuinely considering if his feral self had reached a whole new level of passive aggressive and ran at a wall for half an hour just to spite him.
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erensbiscuit · 6 hours
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Mikey x Reader!
WARNINGS: ANGST
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"I don't want you here." His tone was serious, the expression on his face holding no emotion as he stared down at you with those same empty eyes you've gotten glimpses of many times before. It felt like your chest was burning, a lump forming in your throat as you desperately resisted the urge to cry.
"I don't understand. Did I do something?" You asked, voice soft and slightly wobbly, watching him turn away from you to look out into the river from the top of the hill the both of you currently stood at.The sunset bathed you in its orange tint, the sky reflecting in the water down below. Though, you couldn't find it in yourself to take in the beautiful and breathtaking sight when you were about to lose someone dear to you. 
"No. I just don't want to see you anymore." He responds coldly, words like a sharp and cold sword cutting through your heart. Your face grew hot, especially your eyes that threatened to spill tears any second. His words made you breath in shakily, brows tightly knitting together. "You mean, you don't want me?" You asked, breath trembling and your hands growing shaky. 
Yet he still had his back towards you, a short silence filling you both as the gentle breeze blew by softly.You watched his hair sway in the direction of the air, his flannel following until it calmed back down, his ash blonde hair settling back into place. "I don't want, or need you, (Name)." He clarified, and it felt as if everything broke right then and there. 
"Mikey." You said his name softly, voice cracking as you felt the tears you desperately tried to hold back run down your face uncontrollably, choking a sob as you fell on your knees to the ground. 
The breezes grew louder and harsher, the wind uncontrollably blowing past you as you cried silently. Your heart felt as if it'd rip open any second, you could practically hear how it was being torn open. Mikey was everything to you, you've known him forever when you recently lost everything and was left with nothing. 
But Mikey gave you everything, building back your previous happiness by every passing second the both of you spent your time together, but it was now falling into tiny pieces being blown away by the wind, leaving nothing behind. 
Even as you cried your heart out, mourning what you both once had, Mikey did nothing but stand there in front of you, looking out into the bank, watching the water ripple slightly as the sound of your sobs behind him sounded softly. 
He stayed and listened to how he broke what he once healed and cared for. 
Eventually, your sobs faded, nothing but your shaky breaths and sniffles remained as you slowly stood up, forcing strength back into your legs. "I'm sorry, Mikey. I don't understand what I did, but if you don't want me around then I will respect that." You spoke hoarsely.
Despite the dull ache in your chest as you spoke those words, you looked up to take one final look at him. You saw as he finally looked back at you, his dark gaze meeting your own that reflected the shine of the sun as you looked at him with such warmth.
He saw how red your eyes were, your tears having stained your cheeks, even so, you smiled at him warmly. "Even then, I'll still always love you, mikey." You confessed, watching his eyes widen just the slightest. "Thank you for everything." You finally said, taking one final look at his face before slowly turning round.
Breathing deeply, you walked away, the ache in your chest becoming more dull as you thought about this being the last time you both interacted properly, no matter how much pain it caused you, he caused you. You knew a part of your heart will always belong to him, because it'd be impossible to forget the many things he has done for you. For that, you were eternally grateful to him.
Mikey watched your retreating figure until it was completely out of sight, and he let himself fall to the floor, sitting down on the grassy hill while his hands moved to grab his head. Breathing in deeply, his chest heaving as he resisted the urge to cry. 
Just as you held a special place for him, Mikey will always have one for you, far more special and dear to him than you'd ever know. But this was for both of your benefits, because he knew he wouldn't be good enough to properly take care of you anymore.
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bluejaysandblackbats · 3 months
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Honor in Crisis
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, NTT, Titans, JLI, Arrowfam, Flashfam, GL Corps, Infinity Inc
Summary: Every chapter will focus on one character specifically and then I'll update their statuses in order.
This is a no powers au/fix-it fic for Heroes in Crisis. I wanted to focus on the characters and their healing. I decided that'd be easier to put some of these characters in a fic like this and work on it more from a real-world perspective. I DO want to say that I do not believe healing is linear so don't plan on a clear-cut happy ending. I'd say (and idk for sure) we're gonna eventually get a bittersweet ending for certain characters but nothing tragic.
Chapters: 4/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Kole Weathers, Lilith Clay, Eddie Bloomberg, Michael Carter, Michelle Carter, Rani Carter, Grant Emerson, Roy Harper, Grant Wilson, Joseph Wilson, Thaddeus Thawne, Bart Allen, Helen Claiborne, President Thawne, Todd Rice, Alan Scott (DCU), Damon Matthews
Relationship(s): Damon Matthews/Todd Rice
Additional Tags: No Powers AU, Canon Divergent AU, Fix-It Fic, Angst, TW // Self-harm
Chapter Four: Father's Day (Michael's POV)
Michael absentmindedly bounced Rani on his knee. He knew she wanted to show him something, but he wasn't sure if he could handle it. Michelle hadn't said much of anything, which worried him. "Can I show you now, Mikey?" Rani asked. He rested his chin on top of her head.
"Yeah, I'd like that," Michael whispered. Rani pulled a picture out of her folder.
"I drew it for you. See, this is you, and this is Michelle, and this is Boppy, and this is me," Rani explained as she pointed everyone out. The picture she drew of herself was crying, and as soon as Michael saw it, he let out a shaky breath.
"Why are you sad?" Michael asked. He didn't want to cry in front of her, but he couldn't ignore her feelings to protect his own. She hesitated, wringing her hands with shame. Was that what he taught her? He wondered if bottling up his feelings hurt her as much as he imagined.
"Because I miss you being at home," Rani's voice broke, and she turned to look up at him with her big brown eyes. Michael hadn't seen Rani since he'd hurt himself. He'd been putting off explaining things to her for so long, but it was unavoidable now. He couldn't look her in the eyes and tell her a lie. It was just a matter of her asking the right questions. He knew she would. Rani was an intelligent kid, and she wouldn't accept any old answer that he had to offer. It had to be the truth. "Why can't you come home?"
Michael took a deep breath. "I felt overwhelmed by my feelings recently, and I kept all those thoughts and feelings to myself. I didn't get help in time, and I hurt myself. So, now I'm here to figure out how to talk about those things so that I don't try to hurt myself again," Michael explained. He was surprised he managed to say all that without crying.
"Do you still want to hurt yourself?" Rani asked.
Of course, she wouldn't let him off that easy. He didn't plan on her asking that question. He opened his mouth to answer her, but his throat felt tight. Michael couldn't move himself to look at Michelle. He knew he couldn't hold himself together if he could see her face. "Mhm... Yes, I—. I think about it a lot, but that's no one's fault," Michael replied, "I want to come home to you as soon as I can, though."
"I got the puzzle you just finished," Rani whispered, "Can you do a Care Bears one for me next time?"
"If you bring me a really cool one next week," Michael replied on accident before looking up at Michelle. He expected her to be angry with him, but she was smiling.
Rani smiled too. Maybe that was a good thing. "Can I really come back next week?" Rani asked.
"Of course, if it's okay with Michelle... I'd like that," Michael whispered. He kissed the top of her head. "I've missed you a whole lot, Rani." He closed his eyes to force back his tears.
"Will you keep my picture?" Rani asked. Michael nodded.
"Mhm... But can you do me a favor? Would you mind drawing me another picture while you're here?" Michael asked.
Rani pulled out her box of crayons and her folder and set them on the table. She sat at the table, and Michelle finally walked over to Michael and sat next to him. "How're you doing, Mike?" Michelle asked.
"Thank you for bringing her," Michael whispered. He couldn't move himself to answer her question. It was too much too soon. He just wanted to enjoy this while he could. "How're you?"
"I'm not mad at you if that's what you're thinking. I just think you're stupid," Michelle joked. He tried to smile, but he couldn't.
"I keep screwing up, don't I?" Michael asked. Running away from the issue wasn't helping him. "I don't want things to be like this... Especially not for her. I don't want to be like—."
"Don't say like Dad... You're nothing like Dad. He left us because he wanted to," Michelle whispered, "And you've never hurt Rani. You never hurt anyone if you can help it—."
"But those are excuses... I don't want to make excuses anymore. I just wanna be better. I wanna feel better. I wanna be a better dad, a better brother, a better friend," Michael corrected her, "And I've gotta start taking life more seriously."
Michelle messed up his hair. "I take back what I said, you know... You're not stupid. You do a lot of stupid stuff, but I love you," Michelle whispered, "And Rani and Rip love you. We just want you to be okay."
"It'll be okay... It has to be," Michael replied. He felt hopeful, but it didn't make things hurt any less. "Staying out of trouble, Rani?"
She turned to him and then back to her drawing. "Why? Did Boppy say something?" Rani asked.
"No, but I think you have something to tell me," Michael whispered as he sat next to her on the floor. "I get on his nerves, so I get it. Let's hear it."
"I might've lost his notebook, but I didn't think it was important... I just needed some paper," Rani replied.
"What was in the notebook, Rani?" Michael asked.
"Boppy's field notes," Rani mumbled.
"Oof, I've done that before. If you haven't already, you owe him an apology," Michael whispered, "And if you can let Rip know I'd like to see him next time, I'd really appreciate it." He pinched her cheek to let her know he wasn't angry.
Michael looked at the progress of the picture Rani drew, and she described everything in great detail. When it was time to go, she left the drawing with him, and he rushed back to his room to fall apart. He sat on his bed and started hyperventilating. "Mike?" Eddie asked. "Mike, are you okay?"
Michael wiped his tears away. His hands shook, and the tears continued to fall. "I saw my daughter today... And I had to tell her why I can't come home," Michael answered. Eddie sat next to him.
"You told her the truth?" Eddie asked. Michael nodded. "Well, that's more than my parents ever did for me. They told me I was visiting my aunt and never came back for me. At least you told your kid something real.
Michael looked up at Eddie. "I—I didn't know that. Eddie, for what it's worth... I think you're a great kid," Michael whispered, "I know that there's more life than this for you... But, I guess it's easy to see it from the outside." Eddie nodded.
"Parents are allowed to screw up, you know?" Eddie replied. "The trick is all in the recovery. How're you gonna prove that you're a better dad than you were?"
"I gotta get off the bench," Michael replied as he collected himself, "Thanks, Eddie."
"No problem, and nice sports metaphor," Eddie smiled. Michael smiled. Maybe he had hope of turning things around after all.
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derrypubliclibrary · 1 year
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Part 2! Nicknames/designs for both sets of turtles and Casey Junior
Future Leonardo: Goes by Lyon. 6’3”. He/Him, Blue/Blues. Lost right arm from Kraang infection. (Prime grabbed blue when they were fighting and broke skin.) Has burn scars on topside of his body from the laser that killed him. Initially irritated by his past self, but admires him for his achievement (Doing what Lyon couldn’t). Red markings have grown to be double crescents, yellow markings form bands all the way around his arms and legs, mystic markings have extended across his shell and limbs. (Ninpo was fully restored after blue was brought back to life) Blues ninpo power is teleporting and creating portals that other people or things can go through.
Future Donatello: Goes by Othello. 5’7”. They/Them, It/Its, Nu/Null, Voi/Void, several other sets. Has a lower body temperature than average from freezing to death, compensates with a heated battle shell and heating pads. A bit awkward around their younger self, tries their best to have a healthy relationship as one of the few older people in Donnie’s life. Splotch markings have grown on their shell and torso, mystic markings have grown across their limbs and up their neck. Its ninpo power is creating projections of technology or weapons that can either be used or taken apart to make blueprints for building permanent versions of them.
Future Michelangelo: Goes by Angel. 5’5”. He/Him, She/Her, They/Them, Xe/Xem, Any other Neos. Has lightning scars across their arms and plastron from opening the portal, along with heavy nerve damage in their hands and arms. Content around her younger self, though not as physically affectionate. Yellow markings have extended through both sides of her shell, mystic markings have grown to cover her shoulders and knees. Xer ninpo power is making things weightless and creating chains of energy to throw them. He also has the ability to create portals through time and across dimensions, though it has adverse effects on his physical body and should not be used frequently.
Future Raphael: Goes by Ellis/Ellie. 7’6”. He/Him, She/Her, Name-Only. Has burn scars across his chest and arms from the explosion, along with slight nerve damage in his hands. A bit awkward as well around Raph’s younger self but is very physically and verbally affectionate. Natural and mystic markings are more prominent around her spikes. His ninpo power is creating a large projection of himself around his body like a mech suit, but he can also create multiple normal-sized clone projections.
Casey Junior: Goes by CJ. 5’2”. He/Him, Hon/Honey, Sweet/Sweets. Has top surgery scars (courtesy of Leo of course).  Thinks of his sensei’s younger selves as brothers, and always wanted a big family, so he’s happy with the situation. Hons mystic markings aren’t visible unless hon is actively using hons ninpo, but when they do appear they’re concentrated around hons neck and hands. Hons ninpo power is creating illusions of figures or places to mess with the target’s perception.
Present Leonardo: Goes by Leo. 5’5”. He/Him, They/Them. Lost his right arm while being rescued from the Prison Dimension. (Prime grabbed his arm and dug in its claws so hard it wasn’t viable to save it.) Shell is heavily cracked, needed to drill into the pieces and string wire between the screws to hold it together. His ninpo is still intact, but with one arm he’s had to adapt to a single katana for using it. Was initially anxious around his future self but has since become more comfortable and trusts blue. His markings are unchanged from the movie design and powers are the same as future self.
Present Donatello: Goes by Donnie. 5’2”. They/Them, [redacted]/[redacted], Vi/Vio, Fuck/Fucks, It/Its. Has lightning scars up right arm from helping Mikey open the portal. Extensive damage to shell, very delicate stitches. Is banned from wearing battle shell until shell is completely healed over. Sensory issues have heightened to the point of unprompted touch sending them spiraling. Prefers tight but breathable clothing to muffle accidental touch and prevent dragging of fabric. Interested about their future self, is comfortable enough around null to make turtle noises (Honor previously reserved for siblings.) Their natural markings have recently started coming in and mystic markings are unchanged from movie design, same powers as future self.
Present Michelangelo: Goes by Mikey. 4’7”. Any Pronouns. Has lightning scars up both arms from opening the portal, along with nerve damage and tremors in hands. Comfortable around his future self, spends a lot of time with them. Has difficulty holding art supplies or cooking utensils because of damaged nerves, but still enjoys the activities and gets others to help her. Aers natural and mystic markings are the same as movie design, same powers as future self.
Present Raphael: Goes by Raph. 6’0”. He/Him, She/Her, Name-Only, Rogue/Rogues. Has lightning scars up left arm from helping Mikey open the portal. Her right eye is extremely damaged and partially blind from Kraang infection, right arm has nerve damage as well. She has a broken carapace and scar on her left shoulder from protecting Leo. Nervous around his future self at first, warmed up to Ellie quickly and frequently spends time with Ellie because Ellie is one of the very few people that can actually pick him up. Natural markings haven’t come in yet, mystic markings concentrated on Raph’s shell. Same powers as future self.
these designs r so fucking sick i need 2 eat all of them oh my god
wait so is it their present selves and their future selves? cause thats so fucking sick
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donnies--jacket · 2 years
Text
hey!!!! its disability pride month!! here are some rise headcannons!! a lot of this is like,, chronic pain related, as that's what im personally the most familiar with in my own life, but theres some other stuff in here too. and feel free to share your own hcs, id love to hear them!!!
donnie:
autistic
has arthritis. it's relatively mild, but his right hand fingers have a tendency to lock up at times, especially if he's been doing a lot of work with them. and considering how much time he spends in the lab inventing, or even just a lot of gaming, it can be really annoying and frustrating for him to deal with.
chronic back pain. he's always had pretty poor posture, so when he first made and started wearing his battle shell, the weight combined with a lifetime of bad posture took a big toll on him. it was much worse when he was younger, but nowadays it doesnt hurt nearly as much as it used to. its still there, though he hopes it'll fade away when hes a bit older. his family occasionally has to remind him to sit up straight when he's got his shell on.
raph:
autistic
super messed up jaw and teeth and has a lotta frequent pain there because of it. he was born with a slightly misaligned jaw, but it really started to get bad as he grew. he had a habit of biting anything he could get his hands on when he was little, as a form of stimming, and all the gnawing eventually made his teeth pretty crooked. he also greatly struggled with oral hygiene as a kid because he HATED the way it felt to brush his teeth and the way tooth paste tasted and felt, and got a lot of cavities. so, he had very severe pain for a while. hes made great strides of improvement over the years-- using mouth wash and flossing, wearing braces and headgear, having proper stim toys to chew on-- but hes still working on it, and jaw pain is just something hes always going to have
chronic stress
leo:
autism and adhd. freakishly good at masking.
anxiety induced insomnia + chronic fatigue = bad times. sometimes stays up for several days at a time, and then sleeps for at least 17 hours. if hes exhausted himself too much and a mission comes up, his brothers make him stay home while splinter takes care of him. he can feel really guilty about just HAVING chronic fatigue sometimes, because he feels like hes not doing as much as he can to train or help on missions or spend time with everyone, but theyre always quick to reassure him that its okay and they love him no matter what.
has a bunch of random small things going on. like he broke his big toe once while playing soccer with his brothers and it didnt heal right and now it's just bothering him forever. another time while training raph accidentally threw him into the wall so hard he has chronic neck pain from the incident. hes got like 7 more things like these. stop getting injured.
mikey:
adhd
KNEE PAIN. HES GOT KNEE PAIN SO BAD. nothing really happened that caused it, his left knee has just always been pretty bad, but the worst part is that it's just? kind of inconsistent?? like some days it doesnt bother him at all, and others it's so bad he cant even walk. he's got crutches and a wheelchair for days like those, and he usually spends that time painting for hours. he gets really badly hyperfocused on his work that he wont do anything BUT paint, and splinter has to step in to convince him to take breaks, even if theyre just small ones. splinter also has some really bad chronic pain from his years of fighting, and also cant move much without great pain some days, but it's still important to get up to eat or drink or use the bathroom regardless.
has gerd. he hates his yucky tasting fiber gummies, and always having to eat before taking his meds, he hates the stomach aches, he hates the acid reflux, he is just so done with it. honestly hes incredibly thankful gerd is the only thing going on with his stomach, because he literally would go nuts if he had to deal with something like kidney stones or issues with his gallbladder.
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goldenspecter · 3 years
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Cosmo’s TMNT Masterpost
(Rise, 2003, 2012, and others)
Here’s where you can find pretty much everything I’ve ever made for the TMNT fandom! Fanfics here[haven’t gotten the courage to post fanart here yet], hope you guys enjoy my work. Reblogs are appreciated!
Fanfics
1. Finding my way home(and moving forward)
Out of sheer curiosity, Leonardo and Donatello looked up, and there it was.
A portal.
Had the Universe really taken pity on them? Had it really heard his desperate prayers for one more chance?
It was not like the ones they had seen before, it was an irregular circle made up of several shades of blue, completely different from the perfect and symmetrical pink triangles of the Kraang.
Leonardo and Donatello looked into each other's eyes for a few moments, "Should we go in?" Donatello asked, almost shouting, drawing the attention of the others, who quickly turned to the portal and to see each other, then the two brothers in question.
"It's our best bet, and our only chance," replied Leonardo.
Or rather, with the 2012 kids' home gone, they end up in the Rise verse after a strange portal shows up. Therapy is needed, and start the slow process of healing from their trauma.
(Rise/2012, Work in Progress, written with @keeryd​ )
2. Strawberry Cookies:
"Mikey here was just about to tell me what we could do to cheer Raph up while he's sick," Donnie says. "Mikey continue?"
Now that Mikey had both of his older brothers attention, he grins. "I was thinking we make strawberry cookies!" He does his jazz hands as he says this and is met with looks of something that he can only put as disapproval. "What?"
"You do know that everytime that we have tried to make it-" Donnie starts.
"We mess it up and Raph has to come in and save our butts from burning the cookies?" Leo finishes, "What would be different this time?"
Mikey huffs, "We are doing this so we can cheer him up and to prove that we can do something on our own!" he says, "That's what got Raph sick in the first place!"
Or rather, Raph gets sick after helping his brothers recover from the poisoned pizza puffs. Mikey, Donnie, and Leo take a shot at baking cookies for Raph while trying not to burn their kitchen down.
(One shot, complete)
 3. Chicken Fried Rice:
“I only poured in half a pot of rice,” Donnie complained.
Mikey stared at him, really stared at him before he spoke. “You do realize that rice expands when cooked right?” he said, “You do realize that?”
Donnie was silent, looking away from Mikey.
“Donnie!”
Donnie makes chicken fried rice. Mikey watches over. Shenanigans and brotherly fluff ensue.
one shot in which Donnie is in the kitchen, cooking rice and Mikey, Mikey is positive he should have gotten Donnies braincell. 
(One shot, complete)
 4. Tea Time with Hortense and Patty: 
"Sooo," Raph starts. She's always been weird with awkward silences. "Are these grandma kinning hours?"
"Grandma hours!" Mikey exclaims excitedly. "Grandma time!!!"
"Ah, if it isn't our favorite girl and her little brother!" Hortense tilts her head over in their direction slightly. "Are you going to join us? We were just about done arguing," she says.
---
Today is Tea Time. Two old ladies have a tea party, one of them forgets to bring the food, and they are joined by Mikey and Raph. A good time is still had.
(One Shot, Complete)
5. One of those Days
When Donnie woke up this morning, he woke up with the familiar thrum of anger and irritation running through his body with more intensity than normal. Rubbing the crust out of the corners of his sleep-addled eyes, he jerkily grabbed his phone and turned off the alarm. It's one of Those Days, Donnie noted. Those Days where Donnie isn't capable of handling Mikey's over-enthusiastic optimism or Leon's chaotic trickster nature. His safest bet is to hang out with Raph, his calm and mellow demeanor always helped calm down before Donnie went on a rage fest and say anything he couldn't take back.
Or, Donnie and Raph help each other out, balance each other, and make things a little less difficult.
(One Shot, Complete) 
 6. Gift Hunting: 
“It’s Leo. Tiny Leo,” the voice answers. “I need your help with something.”
“What is it?”
“I can’t say until you say yes first,” Leo says. “It’s really important though.”
Angelo is silent, weighing his options. He could say no, he really could-
“Please, Angelo, you’re the only one who can really help me with this,” Leo pleads.
Rather, Angelo and Leonardo go out in the streets of New York to help the blue banded turtle find gifts for his brothers' sixteenth mutation day. Bonding and fluff ensues.
(One Shot, Complete)
 7. Aftermath:
“Raphie bear?” Mikey called out, gently tapping Raph, with relief washing him when Raph turned his head to face him. “What’s the matter teddy bear?”
“Th-thi-this doesn’t feel real.” Raph stuttered out, his voice cracking as a sob broke through. “I’m not really here. Neither are you and everyone else. I’m still alone with Draxum and his minions. No one’s coming to save me because I was stupid enough to get captured and no one wants such a worthless turtle like me.”
In which Raph was kidnapped and tortured by Baron Draxum and his family has to deal with the aftermath of it.
(One Shot, Complete)
 8. To Be the Eldest
Donnie, the second youngest in his family, wishes he was the eldest for once. Then one night, Donnie gets his wish granted and now he was three small turtles in his care.
Donnie adjusts to being the eldest, comes to some realizations, and makes a promise to his (now) younger brothers.
(Work In Progress)
 9. Wanted: Snaggletooth 
Dr. Noel bent down on his knees in front of Raph, a manic smile that showed too many teeth coming about on his face speaking of pain and suffering that has yet to come. He stretched out his hand towards Raph’s face, placing a thumb under his mouth, pressing into his snaggletooth. “Beautiful. Just as I expected,” he crooned, pulling out a syringe and injecting it into Raph’s neck, pushing the contents of the syringe into his system.
Raph’s eyes fluttered as he started losing consciousness, watching through hooded eyes as Dr. Noel's smile grew even wider, with his last thought right as darkness consumed him being that he hoped his family would find him before it was too late.
Post S2 Finale, Dr. Noel remembers Raphael, his snaggletooth, and manages to find and capture the red masked turtle. It doesn't end well for Raphael.
(Work In Progress)
 10. Dimensional Differences:
They bow. Not like one of those pretentious bows like she would do at Yokai parties and not like the ones she would do with her brothers when they hosted tea parties. They bowed deeply, heads stopping at her stomach, one hand closing around their fists. This spoke of respect and honor.
And that unnerved her a little bit. Why are they bowing so deeply?
“Thank you,” they said in unison. It’s unnerving to April and she felt the uneasiness coming from her brothers too.
“Why are you thanking me?” She said finally, voice sounding foreign to her.
“You saved my life?” Baby Leo said slowly, voice tinged with confusion. “That was an honorable thing to do?”
April blinked, “It shouldn’t be considered honorable for doing what any big sister would do,” she said. “That’s not honor, that’s just being a good older sibling.”
In which April, Sunita, Casey, and the turtles end up in the 2012 verse after a mishap with Leo's ōdachi and stay with the 2012 turtles until they can go home. They find out a lot of things that don't quite jive with them. Some things are the same, some things are different and they're not quite sure how to handle those differences.
(Rise/2012, Work In Progress)
 11. Mind Meld Part Deux:
“Oh thank Galileo that you all are back to normal!”
“What do you mean we’re back to normal?” Raph questioned, pulling back from the hug. Mikey and Leo also pulled back to stare at Donnie. “We’ve-we’ve always been like this?”
Donnie went quiet. He shouldn’t have said that.
“Donnie, what did you do?”
The brothers found out about Donnie’s Mental Intelligence Reprogrammulator. Arguments are had, words are said, words that tear a rift between him and his family, and it’s up to Donnie to earn his brothers’ forgiveness. The only thing is, will he get it?
(Work In Progress)
 12. I'm a little kid and so are you(don't you go and grow up before I do):
The 2003 turtles somehow, someway ended up in the Rise verse, with Rise Splinter and his turtle tots, and stay with them while the boys try to figure out their way home. 2003 Raphael got attached to his tiny counterpart the moment he laid eyes on the tot. (Raph centric)
(Rise/2003, Work In Progress)
 13. Dimensional Self-Isolation
Post S2 Finale, Raph finds himself trapped in the 2012 universe and has a difficult time coping with all of the differences that this world has in store for him. From new villains, unfamiliar familiar faces, and the way the 2012 boys and Splinter treat each other and him, Raph has a heavy plate on his hands during his long term stay.
(Rise/2012, Work In Progress)
14. A Collection of Turtle Thoughts
A collection of drabbles and ficlets about Turtles I've been writing since October 2020. Ranges from humor to hurt/comfort, I have it all.
Requests are open. SFW only though.
(All Iterations, Work in Progress)
If y’all reblog, read, and share my work, I’d really appreciate that! Anything and everything is appreciated, money or not! Thanks folks 🐢💕
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raph-and-spike · 4 years
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Jealous (Part 1) - Leo x fem!reader
request? yes/no
“You have no idea how happy i am to find a 2k12 blog! These boys deserve much more love. If it is ok, can I have reader who has a huge crush on Leo and feels jealous everytime he interacts with Karai because she can see the way he look at her? I always wondered how having a crush on blue boy would work out since he seems so much into Karai.”
a/n: Y’all really have a thing for the leader in blue, huh? ;) I got suuuuper carried away with this, sorry it’s so long!
warnings: Angst :/ 
Steam had been practically coming out of your ears. 
You, Donnie, Mikey, and Raph were walking into Shredder’s chemical lab building, you slightly more angry than the other three (maybe besides Raph, of course).
It started when Karai had taken over Shredder’s lair with her new witchy sidekick, making it their mission to take down the man that had lied to the kunoichi her entire life. She had been betrayed and manipulated for years, and the man covered in blades was going to pay. 
You watched Leo’s eyes fill with hope as the teenager had explained her mission, hoping that she would join him and his brothers as a team. But alas, Karai wanted not only revenge, but chaos while she did so. Splinter knew this wouldn’t be a good idea, he had practically begged his daughter not to go through with it, but she brushed her true father off; she was going to end Shredder no matter what she had to do. 
As you crossed your arms, watching as she exited the lair, you furrowed your eyebrows, watching the blue-masked leader follow her with his eyes. You couldn’t help the scoff that escaped your lips. 
“I’m going home,” you growled. “I need some sleep.”
Mikey frowned. “Hey! I thought we were going to watch Chris Bradford together!”
You looked at him sadly. “Maybe tomorrow, Mikey. I’m sorry.”
You had to go home, and once you made it to your bedroom, you were screaming into your pillow. Why did Karai have to pour all of her problems onto the team? Why couldn’t she just be the daughter that Splinter had been missing all along? Why did Leo care so much about her?
These were all questions that made you sick to your stomach, causing you to toss and turn the entire night. You went to school the next day, exhausted, and you could barely concentrate in any of your classes. After your last class, you nearly bolted out of the school; you needed a distraction. Walking to the familiar alleyway manhole, you climbed in, following the path your legs had remembered by now until the lair came into view.
“Turtles!” you called, tossing your backpack to the couch. “Someone spar with me, now.”
Mikey turned his head, wide-eyed at your demanding voice. “I think Leo’s in the dojo already.”
You nodded, walking into the dojo to see Leo stretching. 
“Hey,” you greeted, “wanna spar?”
He shrugged. “Sure, why not.”
You grabbed your weaponry whilst he got his katanas ready. 
“You sure you don't want to use the cardboard weapons instead?” he asked seriously. “It might be hard to go easy on you with my actual katanas.”
You rolled your eyes. “I can handle it, honor boy,” you taunted with a grin.
He wouldn’t have ever admitted it, but he loved it when you called him that. The way you said it made it so personal; it was his nickname, no one else’s. And despite the negative connotation Raph had given it, a man of honor was exactly what he strived to be, and it made his stomach erupt in butterflies when you recognized that. 
You both circled the room, weapons at the ready. 
He cocked an eyebrow, “you sure about that, Y/n?”
You grinned. “Give me your best shot.”
And with that, you began fighting. The sounds of blades slashing against each other and defensive grunts filled the room. You used the anger you’d been feeling, the jealousy that had filled you to the brim, to assist your adrenaline high, making you fight better than ever. He noticed your kicks and punches were stronger, wondering what was going on with you.
“Y/n, you know we’re just sparring, right?” he yelled as he guarded your throws. “I’m starting to think you should have chosen Raph to train with instead!”
You rolled your eyes, yelping as he caught you off guard and pinned you to the ground. Your chest heaved up and down, out of breath as your senses came back. You blushed at his figure on top of you, rolling out of his grasp that had loosened. Still on the floor, the two of you sat, catching your breaths. You pulled your knees to your chest.
“You’re going to help her defeat Shredder, aren’t you?” you spoke up quietly.
His eyes widened, surprised at your words. He slowly nodded.
You shook your head, clenching your jaw. “How come you always abandon us when Karai suddenly needs you for something, Leo?” you argued.
He turned to you. “She won’t be able to take him down without me. She needs our help, and I’m the only one willing, you know that,” he stated.
“I don’t trust her one bit; she’s manipulated us too many times, when will you realize that your family is more important than some girl?!”
“Karai is family!” he yelled, causing you to jump at the sudden raise of his voice. 
You rested your chin on your knees, pulling them closer in attempt to comfort yourself. “Yet she’s chosen not to be apart of it,” you spoke, your voice barely a whisper. 
He frowned, standing up. “This discussion is over.”
And with that, he left you in the dojo.
*
You sat in Donnie’s lab that night, spinning around in a wheel-y chair whilst he worked on upgrades for the van. 
“I don’t get why he’s so hung up over Karai, you know? He’s practically feeding her grapes at this point,” you grumbled. 
He chuckled at your comparison. 
“He’s always been like this, if you remember when they first met,” he explained.
You chewed on your lip. “I know, but why?”
“Guys!” you heard a high-pitched yell, knowing it had to be Mikey. The two of you scurried out of the lab to see what the commotion was. 
“Leo’s not in his room! What if he was taken?!” he yelped, his hands resting on his freckled cheeks in shock.
Raph rubbed the sleep out of his eyes whilst Donnie pulled his phone out, tapping away.
“His T-Phone is unresponsive, too,” Donnie frowned.
You sighed, feeling a pit in your stomach. “I know where he is– or who he’s with, rather.”
The three of you got in the van and headed to Shredder’s chemical lab building, your fists clenched.
Mikey looked at your angered form with a questioning look.
“Everything alright, dudette?”
You sighed. “Yes, Mikey,” you gave him a forced, reassuring smile. “Leo’s just a dumbass, is all.”
“You’ve got that right,” Raph grumbled next to you.
As the four of you entered the building, weapons at the ready, you noticed the building looked trashed– and empty. 
“Aw, we missed the battle?” Mikey whined.
Donnie began peering over something, with an “uh oh”.
“We’ve gotta get out of here!” the purple-masked turtle exclaimed, pushing the three of you to the nearest exit as he followed. 
It became clear as to why he was trying to escape, once the beeping got louder. 
They bombed the place.
Suddenly, the four of you were blasted, your ears ringing from the loud noise. Your body had come in contact with something incredibly hard, the pain in your head taking over your conscious. Before you knew it, you were slipping into darkness, your mind clouded with the flames of the building. 
*
Your eyes opened, seeing Splinter and Leo towering over you. You turned your head, noticing the purple-masked turtle awakening beside you. You realized they had performed their healing mantra.
Your head was spinning, and your body ached everywhere. You scanned your body, seeing cuts and bruises scattered all over your skin. 
“I am so sorry,” Leo admitted, his invisible eyebrows knitted together with worry.
You sat up with a groan, your hand immediately going to your head. Leo put a hand on your back, worried that you’d fall backward. He assisted you as you carefully got up to stand. The others left, leaving the two of you alone in the dojo.
He couldn’t bear to look at you; you looked so fragile. It broke his heart that he had done this to not only his brother, but you as well. 
You watched him as he stared shamefully at the floor. 
“Leo,” you spoke softly, making his deep, blue eyes finally meet yours. 
“You were right, Y/n,” he confessed, his voice much quieter and softer than his usual confident and clear tone. He was embarrassed and ashamed. “I shouldn’t have went behind the team’s back to help Karai.”
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Donnie and I could have died if it weren’t for Splinter,” you fought, though your voice was weak.
“I know,” he admitted. “And, I’m sorry. I wish I listened to you.”
“You never listen to anyone when it comes to Karai,” you muttered, your voice barely audible.
He frowned, crossing his arms. “Why does Karai upset you so much?”
Tears began to well in your eyes and your bottom lip began to tremble. 
“You really want to know why, Leo?” your voice cracked. “I see the way you look at her, the way you push everything aside to assist her with whatever she desires; it tears me apart.”
His eyes softened and his green cheeks flushed. “I-I had no idea you felt that way, I’m sorry.”
Tears began to roll down your cheeks and you found it hard to look him in the eye. “You can’t be sorry for how you feel.”
You couldn’t handle his rejection. You left the dojo, running as fast as your sore body could take you despite the turtles calling for you in confusion. As you escaped the sewers, you put your hands on your knees, catching your breath. 
Leo stood in the dojo, alone, not sure what to do. 
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aurora-the-kunoichi · 4 years
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For The Love Of Shell - Chapter Forty Five
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Another installment of my bullshit! It’s looonnnggg too!
Full Story Here
It was the soft chirping of birds that awoke Leo first, stretching his long limbs above his head he yawned having had the best sleep he had in almost a year. The scent of their activities still lingered in the air and when he moved his arm over the large bed Leo the spot next to him empty and cool. Lurching up from bed he looked to the spot Aurora laid a few hours ago still crumbled from the weight of her body.
“Damnit.”
 She had left sometime in the early morning leaving him alone and unaware of her departure. Letting a heavy sigh leave him Leo flopped back down on the bed groaning in frustration. He had hoped that……who was he kidding, what did he really expect? That an apology and a few orgasms would set everything right in one night? Being alone this morning without so much as a goodbye was what he should have expected. But it didn’t make it hurt any less. Last night was more than miraculous, having her in his arms again, kissing her, hearing his name fall blissfully from her lips again was everything he had wanted, everything that he missed.
 Short lived as it was Leo would savor last night’s memory until the end of his days. He had just hoped it wouldn’t be the last time he would get to enjoy her in that way. He wanted forever.
 The walk of shame back to the healer’s quarters was agonizing. Once he entered through the threshold of the healer’s quarters Leo found his two youngest brothers sitting next to Raph who was now strong enough to sit up in bed. Thank god for the mutagen that coursed through their veins. As they saw him enter Donnie and Mikey jumped to their feet running towards their leader bombarding him with questions.
 “Where have you been?” Donnie questioned pulling his eldest back to Raphael.
 Mikey grumbled behind his brothers as the genius guided him towards their recovering brother. “We were worried sick about you!”
 Reaching the hothead Leo watched his younger brother eye him up and down as if he were gauging his current mood. Then Raph closed his eyes and Leo saw his nostrils flare and his tongue dart from his mouth. Ever so slowly Raph’s lips curling into a devilish grin. “I can smell her on ya fearless, you didn’t do what I think you did, did ya? Because that could possibly make things worse with her.”
 Donnie cocked his head giving both his brothers a puzzled look, “What are you talking about? Smell who on Leo?” Leaning towards his older brother Donnie scented the air around him and released an uncharacteristic growl. “Oh…” his three fingered hand came to rest over his mouth startled by his animalistic reaction.
 Mikey shrugged his shoulders copying Don and Raph and they watched their little bother’s eye dilate releasing his own deep rumble. “Aurora.”
 Raphael adjusted himself to face his red-faced brother. “Ya had sex with Aurora last night.”
 Donnie’s brown orbs flashed with anger; his mouth snapping shut in a thin line. Mikey’s baby blues burned into his soul showing disappointment in his brothers’ inability to take things slow. Their icy glares made him want to hide in his shell, something he hadn’t done since he was a child.
  “How could you have been so careless? Where is she now?” his genius brother growled angrily at his eldest for the first time in his life, the vibrations of his reprimand giving Leo goosebumps of shame.
 “I…I don’t know, she was gone when I woke up.” Leo felt so small right now with his three brothers glowering at him. Did he ruin everything by going to her room last night? He was the one who broke her heart, and he went to her room. But he had gone in fully intent on just talking to her, to apologize, hoping to repair some of the damage he had done a year ago. Sex had not been the plan. They had fought together; she had saved Raph and his lives. He thought it was a good change to mend fences, did he just mess it all up?
 “I can’t believe you did something so irresponsible Leo? You entered into her room in the middle of the night after an emotional battle. Did you actually think she would be able to tell you no? You broke up with her Leo, knowing full well she is still in love with you!” Donnie’s posture was tense, his fists clenched but he was looking down at the floor unable to look his brother in the eye.
 The last sentence stung, and Leo grew slightly angry himself. “I’m in love with her too you know! I didn’t plan on having sex with her; I just went in there with the intent on just talking and telling her I was sorry and that I still loved her. She had been avoiding me like the plague since we first saw her, I just needed to get her alone, to explain things. One thing led to another and it just…happened.”
 “Sex doesn’t just happen bro.” Mikey cut in dropping down next to Raph, his arms folded over his chest.
 The turtle in red grumbled testing his wound with a tentative push of his two fingers. “If you forgot Leo, we all love her, she’s not just yours…...” Letting out a frustrated huff Raphael pinched the bridge between his eyes. “All I know is it better not be another year before we see her again because you couldn’t keep it in your pants oh fearless leader.”
 Soon Gyoji and Master Splinter made their way into the large room. Gyoji stopped a few feet from the brothers while Splinter moved next his eldest.
 “My son,” He started. “Your brothers were worried when you disappeared last night. They insisted coming to find you, but I told them you would return when you had finished with what you felt you needed done. By the look on your faces, I gather it did not go as planned?”
 “No Sensei.”
 Splinter’s hand came to rest on Leo’s forearm making the leader look down at the aging rat, “We must remember my son, time heals all things. There is no manual for life, mistakes are bound to happen so we must be patient and learn from our failings. Give Aurora time, her love for you all is boundless and nothing will sway her from those feelings. Yesterday’s trials were hard, but they set us on the path for reconciliation. I will give you a bit of good news though my sons, you will see her yet again today.”
 The news brought smiles back to their faces as all expect Raph stood to hear more.
 Splinter turned to Gyoji who took the invitation to address the family. “Honored ones, the kingdom thanks you for your help in saving our Daimyo, we are forever in your debt.” Gyoji bowed to them in respect and continued. “Despite yesterday’s horrible events, the award ceremony for the Battle Nexus Championship will still be held in Michelangelo’s honor. It will be held when the sun is at its highest this day. The second-place winner will also be recognized.”
 Mikey got excited smacking Raph in the arm but regretted it instantly hearing his brother groan in pain. “Oh sorry bro! Dude, I’m so sorry…..so, she’s still here?”
 “Yes Ms. Yoshi is still present in the nexus and plans on attending the ceremony. You all will be allowed up at the podium with your brother as he accepts his award. The Daimyo doesn’t want you separated from each other. Raphael the healers have informed me you as well enough to be brought up as well so you don’t miss this joyous occasion.”
 Raphael rolled his eyes watching Mikey’s face nearly burst from happiness. “Yea, it’s joyous alright. He ain’t neva gonna let us live this down.”
 “Nope.” Was Michelangelo’s quick response brushing off imaginary dust from his shoulders.
 When the time came, Raphael with the help of his brothers was settled into a wheeled chair, gathered their belongings and made their way to the Daimyo’s platform high above the battle nexus’s arena. The other three brothers towered over their father but remained behind as the old ninja master lead the way.
 As they made their way up into the Daimyo’s personal perch above the championship the blonde and purple of Aurora’s hair came into view. She was currently kneeling before the seated sullen ruler speaking softly. Her right hand was resting atop his large one in comfort and the edges of his lips lifted to a small smile. He pulled it from beneath hers and rested his massive palm on the top of her head before running it downs the side of her face to give her a gentle pat on her check. The Daimyo nodded and spoke a few whispered words which in turn made the kunoichi smile.
 They watched the private interaction until the pair became aware of their audience and stood to greet them.
 Aurora was dressed in black pants with grey knee-high boots. Her upper half was covered in a sheer blue shirt with a white tank underneath and a long necklace that hung just below her breasts. The blue in her attire did not go unnoticed to Leo who found it difficult to keep his eyes off the woman.  Just hours before she was beneath him, naked, writhing…….calm down. This is not the time or the place.
 “My friends,” The Daimyo started softly, breaking from Aurora to approach the family of five. “I know this trip has been a mix of ups and downs.” The old man swallowed hard as if trying to bury his anxious sadness. “We are in your debt for your help yesterday and of course from a year ago. If it wasn’t for you five.” The Daimyo turned slightly to address Aurora as well who stayed a few feet away. “This dimension and no doubt the rest would be in peril. You will always be honored heroes of the nexus and are always welcome with the highest regard. But this day is a happy occasion; we honor Michelangelo for his triumph in the Battle Nexus Championship as well as Aurora for runner up.” His hands reached out for the pair. “Come, it is time to present you to the people.”
 Without hesitation Mikey approached the Daimyo, he was quick to bow and the ruler’s sad eyes brightened just a little at the youngest gusto.  Turning to Aurora the Daimyo held out his hand which she took and he pulled them forward to the massive opening bring them into view of the mass crowd below. As they looked down at the swaying masses the arena erupted into applause.
 The Daimyo took both their hands and raised them high which made the roaring thunder rise to near ear splitting decimals.
 “My fellow warriors!” the sorrow that filled his voice was gone. Strong and booming followed his words as he put on a show for the masses. “This year’s Championship was found with great success! You honor us with your courage and strength! This year we are graced with a new champion and runner up in their first year to compete. Not only are they fierce fighters but also part of a team that has saved its Daimyo twice! Our runner up is a human from 3rd Earth Aurora Yoshi!”
 He held her hand higher in his excitement virtually pulling her from her feet. She stumbled a bit trying to stay on her tippy toes but a palm to his side stabilized her enough until he realized her predicament and lowered her down to the flats of her feet. “Last year she stopped an arrow from finding its place in my skull and helped us defeat Tigerclaw and his army.” From his robes he pulled a bright purple ribbon with a silver medallion attached at the bottom. He lifted it high and passed the ribbon over her head settling it around her neck. “We thank you for your part in the championship and your help in keeping this kingdom safe.”
 Aurora nodded and was turned forward one more time to be presented to the crowd.
 As the Daimyo turned to address the crowd once again Mikey turned to find Aurora smiling at him. She held out her hand which he accepted getting a squeeze. He couldn’t hear her over the ruckus from below and the bellowing of the massive man before them, but he could read her lips, ‘I’m proud of you.’
 Then he was abruptly pulled from her view and brought to the edge of the platform, his hand was raised with the same enthusiasm and the crowd screamed. It started slowly; muffled words swelling into his name growing in volume until everyone in the arena was chanting. Mikey ate up the attention bowing and adding a little flare with a back flip.
 The Daimyo came up to Mikey resting his hand on his shoulder, “Michelangelo proved himself worthy yesterday to be among the hall of champions. He also along with his brothers alongside Aurora saved this dimension twice over with the defeat of Drako and… my son Ue-Sama yesterday and ending the war with Tigerclaw last year. We are forever grateful!”
 Pulling another ribbon from his robes, this time a vibrant orange to match his mask and a large gold medallion at its end the Daimyo presented Michelangelo with his award. Mikey bowed his head to accept the award with pride. As he stood back to his full height he found his family’s admiration beaming with each face he saw. “You honor your family with your skills and your dedication to your craft Michelangelo.  You should be proud of yourself because I know your family is.”
 With slow hands the ruler turned the young mutant to face him; Mikey could see the tears in his eyes. Despite the happy face he was showing the Daimyo was in pain, an immense amount that he was now struggling to keep contained.  His smile thinned and faltered so Mikey reached up giving him a much needed embrace. This was when he could feel him shaking and waved his hand to Aurora.
 The kunoichi took the cue and pulled the Daimyo from his grip and away from the prying eyes of the crowd.
 Mikey did one more bow and waved, “See you all next time!” before throwing a smoke bomb disappearing from the ledge getting another roar from the captivated crowd.
 The Daimyo allowed Aurora to escort him from the balcony and too Splinter and his sons. “I am truly thankful for your help yesterday, all of you. But I’k sure you all wish to return to your homes for rest.” His hand rose waving Gyoji over. “Aurora you will be sent home today, Gyoji will return you to the location he retrieved you from. Old friend I’m sorry but your son is not yet healthy enough to take the trip through the dimensional portal. The energy within would rip his wound wide open. Raphael must remain here until his wounds have healed more.”
 “We shall stay behind as well if that is alright with you?”
 “You and your family are always welcome.”
 Letting go of the large man Aurora went to her bag and swung it over her shoulder. “Thank you my Daimyo, and thank you for everything. I am sorry about Ue-Sama, I truly am. But I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of him or Drako.”  
 “As a father I hope you are right about my son but as a ruler I hope you are wrong.”
 Leo could feel the panic rising in his chest. He hadn’t thought about what would happen when this was over. She was leaving again and they would have no way to contact her. How long would it be before they saw her again? He moved on instinct stepping towards her, his hand came out to rest on her shoulder. “W-when will….where?”
 At the contact Aurora looked over her shoulder and tried to keep her composure as his beautiful blue eyes bore into her soul. She knew what he wanted but she wasn’t ready to give them her location. Not yet, soon but not yet.
 Splinter’s paw came down on his forearm and Leo released her shoulder, “My dear when you are ready you know where to find us. Our door has and will always be open to you my child.”
 As the white portal opened to her destination Aurora turned to the Daimyo and bowed and turned to do the same to Master Splinter. “Till next time.” She called before slipping through threw the light and disappearing from their life again.
 The Daimyo saw the expressions on their faces as the portal snapped shut swallowing up their kunoichi. His hands came down on Leonardo’s and Splinters shoulders. “Come my friends let us go get lunch.”
 It took two more days for Raphael to be well enough to travel home. Gyoji conjured up another portal, the swirling white light meant home, a proper shower and pizza. The Daimyo face grew solemn and reached down to the old rat. His large arms wrapped around Splinter’s small frame but was careful to do no harm.
“My friend please treasure your sons for you never know when it will be the last day you will see them.” They could hear his old voice struggling with his words as he clung to the old rat. Then his head lifted and looked at the four brothers and smiled passed his sorrow. “Give her time, she still loves you all. I could see the inner turmoil tearing her apart.”
 “Until we meet again my old friend. I shall do my best to come see you more often. My sons are grown and require less observation so I should be able to get away.”
 A gentle smile lifted the ruler’s lips, “I would love that my old friend. I look forward to it.”
 With one final bow the family of five said their farewells and stepped through the portal into the large space below the city streets that was their home.
 As they crossed over the threshold into the lair Donnie’s com rang and a very worried April came over the speaker into the genius’s ear. Pressing his finger to the device in his ear he began to listen to their friend. “Yes April, Raph is doing fine. Thankfully the mutagen in our blood has sped up his recovery tremendously. He’ll be back to giving us hell and crushing skulls in a week or two. How did you know? She what? For how long? I see, yes you can come over. See you in 20.”
 “How did April know about Raph already?” Leo asked helping their Sensei to the kitchen table.
 “Aurora…..I guess she’s been in contact with April the past couple weeks. Aurora called her yesterday when she got back to our dimension letting her know about the fight and to check up on us. She’s ahhh coming over with pizza for us and sushi for sensei.”
 Leo looked back at Donnie as he filled the kettle for tea, his mouth open in disbelief. Aurora had been missing for a year and she had started talking to April a couple of weeks ago and April didn’t tell them? The blue leader was upset but refused to vocalize it since he himself might have dashed their chances to reconnect with Aurora themselves. Finishing up filling the kettle Leo started the burner and set the kettle on top of the stove. His attention returned to his injured father helping him to the bathroom.
 “You’ll feel better after a shower Sensei, and your tea will be ready when you get out.”
 Weary and tired Master Splinter thanked his son before closing the door. He was looking forward to a hot shower and his own bed tonight, of course after a hot cup of soothing tea. After a few moments Leo heard the shower start and the shower curtain pull closed. Assured his father was ok Leo returned to the kitchen and started to prepare the tea leaves and steeper for his father’s tea.
 Looking up from his task Leo found his brothers scattered over the lair. Seeing Raph sitting on the couch pressing his finger to his covered wound Leo sighed making his way over to his brute of a brother.
 Sitting down next to him Leo grabbed Raph’s hand preventing another jab to the bandage setting it down on his lap, “What the shell are you doing Raph?”
 “Feeling.” Raph grumbled crossing his arms over his chest wincing at the shooting pain in his side. “Is that ok with you?”
 “Why w…” before he could finish, the whirlwind of April tore through the lair heading straight for Raph and himself. In her left hand she carefully balanced four pizzas and on her right slung a bag from their favorite sushi stop. Setting the goodies down on the coffee table April sat down next to the two turtles and immediately started fussing over Raphael. After a few moments Raph visible softened to their human friend and allowed her to clean his wound with the fresh supplies Donnie had just brought over.
 April had gotten into the familiar rhythm of taking care of her friends each time they came home from patrol battered and bruised. Over the past year as the operations of the purple dragons increased she saw more blood and dark marks on the brothers than she cared to witness. Thankfully none had been life threatening until this day. This was the first time a wound could have been mortal. When she had gotten the phone call from Aurora she could tell Aurora had been worried. The attack on the family was troublesome and set her on edge. Even the hitch in Aurora’s voice as she gave a short detail of the attack sent a heavy chill through her body. Looking to the Leader next to Raph she took note of his bandaged hand and winced remembering the story behind it.
 That hand saved them both, Raph and himself by grabbing the business end of a sword. The sharp metal sliced through his palm and fingers like warm butter before coming to a halt from the pure strength of his grip. It was a testament to Leo’s commitment to his never ending training and continuing pursuit to perfect his body. Leo was always looking to get better, always ready to defend his family and had proven many times the dutiful leader always putting himself in danger to keep his family safe. Splinter had made the right choice to put the blue banded terrapin in charge.
 After ever bit of food she had brought into the lair was consumed by the guy’s ravenous appetite April watched Leo shift in his seat suddenly looking a little suspicious. His bandaged hand ran over his blade crown and released a long drawn out sigh. Even before he said anything she knew who the question would be about.
 “Have you seen her since she contacted you?” His usual commanding voice wavered at the subject of his question.
 “I haven’t seen her yet but I know she’s back in the city somewhere. She keeps promising to meet up for dinner but her current project has kept her pretty busy.”  
 “Current project?” Donnie cocked his head at the notion from across the kitchen table.
 “Not sure yet, she’s being pretty secretive about it but she assured me I’ll get to see it when it’s done. Not gonna lie, I’m super stoked. It’s been way too long. How did she look?”
 Leo watched April from across the table asking about Aurora. He could see the hesitancy in her features like she was playing with something fragile. She didn’t want to upset him but she wanted to know. Then the soft smile turned excited and she nearly jumped from her chair.
 “Wait! Who won the Battle Nexus Championship?!” Her big beautiful eyes scanned each brother waiting anxiously for an answer.
 “You mean SHE didn’t tell you?” Raph laughed leaning back on his chair testing the strength of the old metal on the vintage chair.
 “All she told me was it was someone I knew.”
 Mikey’s sudden push of his chair sent the thing teetering dangerously on the kitchens platforms edge as he stood. His thumbs hooked under the straps of his harness and pushed them forward as if they were suspenders. The soft ridges of his eyes wagged as he stepped away from the table and took a sliding side step towards April. “You anglecakes, have the privilege of looking upon a bona fide multi dimensional battle nexus champion.”
 April could barely contain the squeal of excitement for the youngest brother. Jumping from her chair she ran into his arms giving him a long hug. “Mikey I’m so proud of you! I knew all that extra training would pay off! Did you get a trophy or something?”
 “Yeah I got a gold medallion and there will be a statue made in my likeness in the hall of champions. You should have heard the crowd, it was killer!”
 “Who did you beat to win?” April asked letting go of Mikey returning to her chair.
 “Aurora.”
 “Oh damn.” April gawked at Mikey.
 “Yeah tell me about it.” Mikey’s smile grew.
 Donnie shifted in his chair trying to get the woman’s attention and leaned towards April setting his chin in his hands batting his big brown eyes, “So are you going to give me Aurora’s new phone number?”
 April gave him a half hearted smile shaking her head, “Sorry guys, she told me not to give you the number yet. She’s not ready yet and Don if you hack my phone to get it none of us will hear from her again. Don’t push the issue and let her come back on her own time. I could tell by the tone of her voice the other day she was struggling with seeing you guys, she misses you all, just know that.”
 April stayed for another hour before having to return home to get ready for work in the morning. Soon after, the lair was dark as the turtles and their sensei retired to their own beds for some rest. It had been a stressful few days and the comfort of their own sanctuary brought sleep early.
 It had been a few weeks since their return from the battle nexus championship and things were returning back to normal. After two weeks of highly resented rest Raphael was healed enough to be able to return to patrols with his brothers.
 Their current location was running over rooftops heading towards the newest lead their genius brother had figured out for the Purple Dragons. The chill in the night air indicated the change to fall, from what trees that were dispersed around the city started to change colors.
 “You better be right about this warehouse Donnie, wrestling was about to start.”
 “Yeah yeah Raph, from what reliable sources I found something big is going down with the Purple Dragons tonight. Rebecca wanted us to check it out first before she sent in the Calvary. The one word that kept popping up in the black market chat sites kept saying something about weapons.” Donnie used his bo staff to help himself vault over the next roof landing just behind Leo who had stopped holding his hand up in a silent order to halt.
 As they crept over to the warehouse in question the four brothers looked down into the alleyway finding several large trucks with their doors open awaiting their unknown cargo. There were only a few bodies below watching the trucks so Leonardo signaled the move to the roof of the warehouse to get a better look. A skylight in the far corner of the roof gave the best vantage point and they made their way over peering down below.
 “Jackpot.” Raphael whispered happily pulling his sai from their holsters on his harness. As usual the large mutant was itching for a fight.
 Below was the largest gathering of the Purple Dragons they had seen so far. From what they could see there were at least 50 of the scumbags crowded around a hulk of a man. The first thing they noticed was his stark white long hair braided midway down his back. With the stature almost comparable to Raphael and with a large purple dragon on his left arm that spanned from his shoulder all the way down to his fist, this guy looked like bad news.
 The promise of a challenge made Raph giddy with excitement.
 “That has to be their leader, Hun. We’ve never seen him before and from the way they are all looking to him screams man in charge.” Leo mused scanning over the inside of the warehouse finding several large crates on the opposite side of the gathered Purple Dragons.
 Catching their attention a door adjacent from the gang members swung open and several heavily armed men filtered into the large space below coming to meet Hun. Soon after, a tall but well built man in a black leather coat and dark aviator sunglasses entered moving his way through the armed men coming almost nose to nose with Hun.
 Leo looked to his brothers and held his finger to his mouth needing silence and carefully lifted the skylight giving them a chance to hear the exchange from down below.
 The man in the leather coat spoke first pulling his glasses from his face addressing the gargantuan boss and his lackeys. “Hun, I presume.” He started, smiling when he got a quick nod from the large man. “I presume we have a deal then? I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but your reputation and size of your operation makes you a valuable ally. Plus, I need results sooner than later. If I give you these weapons you and your men will keep an ear to the ground and report back to me any type of unusual activity in the streets.  After that large ship assembled itself above Manhattan a few years ago the government has been on high alert now fully aware we are in fact no longer alone in this universe. There has been a little birdie chirping in my ear and there has even been talk from your own men of four large green mutants taking out your operations lately. I want to know if there is any truth to these accusations and if so I want them taken alive. I would like to study them to find out what makes them tick. From what I’ve heard they were highly trained and have enhanced strength. They could be some use to me.”
 Hun eyed the large crates with interest all the while cracking his oversized knuckles. “So you’re telling me the government is gonna give us these weapons to be their look out? All we gotta do is keep an eye out for the weird freaky shit and let ya know?”
 The man sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, “No, this isn’t coming from the government you idiot. If they knew I was supplying a hostile territorial gang with weapons, my funding would be cut. This is under their radar, off the books you hear me you big baboon. This cannot get back to me you hear me.”
 “No need to get nasty, I hear ya. How do I get a hold of you if I come across these….freaks?”
 The movement to quick to see the man pulled a small white card from the breast pocket of his jacket and handed it to Hun. “Call this number and ask for the name on the card.”
 At those words Leo turned to his brothers giving them a tight frown. Not only were these animals about to get weapons from some government reject but they were looking for them as well? This wasn’t good. Leo moved away from the opening and addressed his three brothers quickly, “We have to stop this, those trigger happy idiots can’t get their hands on those high tech weapons. We need to figure out who this guy is and what section of the government he’s part of. Donnie contact Rebecca and get some back up over here asap.”  
 Donnie nodded and turned away to contact the chief of police and Leo turned to his other two brothers who were awaiting their instructions. “Once Donnie is done we’re gonna cut those lights and take them out. We know the skill set of a Purple Dragon, but those government men look like they’re expertly trained along with those weapons, so be careful with them. The plan is just to keep them busy until the Calvary shows up, they can take it from there and keep things legit. Stay safe and alive.”
 Donnie hung up his com turning back around, “They are on the way, should be here is 10-15 minutes.”
 Returning their attention back to the gathering below Leo motioned for the genius to do his thing. With one push of a button on his wrist the large space below them was plunged it into darkness. The reaction was almost instantaneous bringing loud and angry cursing from within the pitch black void.
 Taking their cue Leo lifted the skylight fully and the four brothers drop down into the darkness ready to stop the exchange no matter the cost. Thankfully with all the confusion of the lighting failure their presence to the unwitting party had gone unnoticed. This gave them the upper hand and the element of surprise which they took full advantage of and attacked. Quickly and quietly the four turtles took out the first 10 Purple Dragons before the rest of the large room’s inhabitance became aware of the threat.
 As flashlights were found and turned-on, streaks of green whipped by in the streams of light startling the men.
 “It’s them!” Someone yelped in the darkness before being silenced by Raphael.  
 “Someone get those goddamned lights back on now!” Hun growled before being tackled to the ground by the hurdling weight of Leonardo. Immediately the large man began to fight the unexpected weight holding him to the ground. Leo watched the man’s eyes widen in shock blocking a blow from his fist. Hun couldn’t make out too much in the darkness, but he could see his large silhouette hovering above him. “Get off me!”
Finding that Hun was stronger than he anticipated Leo was able to get a few blows in before he was unceremoniously thrown over Hun’s head landing on two Purple Dragons. Getting to his feet he avoided as much of the lights that desperately searched for the hidden attackers. Leo leapt from the ground swinging up into the rafters to find his brothers who were now scattered around the warehouse.
 Mikey was the farthest way taking on four gang members single handily.  Donnie was fiddling with something by the crates hopefully figuring out a way to keep the guns from the Purple Dragon’s greedy hands. And then there was Raph who had just found Hun and like two unmovable forces colliding Leo could have sworn he felt the shockwave from their kinetic energy.
 Then Leo noticed the strange man and his subordinates staying back away from the fight. One of them was working on a tablet just behind the man in the glasses. What was he doing?
 Thankfully most of the Purple Dragons were down for the count not including Hun who Raph was still working on, so all they needed to deal with was the governments men. When the lights hummed back to life engulfing the once dark space Leo knew what the man was working on. To Leo’s horror Mikey and Raph were out in the open exposed in full view of the strange government man and his men. He watched the man pull his glasses from his face and wicked smile curled up his wide mouth.
 “So you are real?” he laughed manically stepping closer to the two visible turtles.
 Hun looked up at the beast he was fighting and stepped back in shock, “F-freak! There are freaks in the city!”
 “Freaks?” Raph growled at the large man. “You’re the freak asshole. You’re the abomination to this city, stealing and killing for financial gain.” His large fist reared back and slammed into Hun’s face sending the man sprawling back head over heels.  
 Now Raph and Mikey stood in the middle of the room weapons in hand ready to continue the fight. Leo watched from above, his attention on his two brothers and on the genius high in the pile of crates. Donnie finished and turned to look at his eldest brother giving him a thumbs up.
As the cluster of men started forward towards Raph and Mikey, Leo pulled a kunai from his hip and threw it down embedding into the floor of the warehouse. The blade a warning stopped the government men in their tracks. Their eyes rose to the ceiling and followed the large green mass land a few feet from them blocking their view from the other two turtles.
 “Another one? Interesting? How many of you are there?” the man cooed stepping over the blade to face the large mutant in blue.
 Leo stood his ground folding his arms over his chest, “What kind of government official hands over deadly weapons to a gang well known for their brutality and violence?” his voice was dripping with venom taking a step forward.
 The men behind the new threat took notice and started to engage but the man held his hand up stopping their movement.  “What are you? I must know.”
 “That is none of your business and you will leave us alone.”
 “I’m afraid I can’t do that mutant. It’s in my nature to know the unknown and you are making my head spin with excitement. I’ll find out what you are and if I have to dissect you to do that, then so be it.”
 Leo growled at the thought of his brothers tied up opened up like a can of sardines. His hands clenched into fists ready to wail on the man but Donnie waved at him getting his attention. Signaling the emanate explosion Donnie swung up into the rafters waiting impatiently for his brother.
 The strange man followed Leo’s line of sight and found another mutant swinging up to safety, “And there was four.” He hissed returning his gaze back to the mutant before him.
 Leo side stepped and looked back to see Raph and Mikey already gone. Pulling a smoke pellet from his belt he threw it to the floor engulfing him in a dark blue smoke. In the confusion he slipped to safety. As Leo was clear Donnie detonated the bomb sending debris flying everywhere, flames roaring over the crates engulfing them.
As the men got to their feet they all converged on the leader helping him to his feet.
“Sir, we have to get out of here.”
“Bishop!” another called.
“Yes, yes let’s head back to base. I have a report to write.”
 @imthegreenfairy88 @bluesakurablossom @alonia143 @ravn-87 @blossom-skies​ @tmntspidergirl
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moonlightflower21 · 5 years
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Importance
A/N: this was supposed to be a drabble but it turned into a fic. angst, as always.
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~They say if you really love someone else, let them go. For if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were~
Donatello had never believe on true love before. He was a mutant ninja turtle living in the sewers, trying his hardest to protect his city from impending doom caused by his enemies. So love wasn't exactly on his list. Plus who would even find him good-looking, considering every interaction with humans had resulted them screaming for their lives. That was, until you had entered his life. He was so glad for you, he started to love every moment spent with you. He looked forwards to your visits, always eager to be the first one to greet you.
It was a game he liked to play in his mind, pretending he was yours and that you were his. Ultimately he knew that his fantasy would come crashing down but he pushed those thoughts aside, he just wanted to live in the moment for once. Not thinking about the consequences that would come after. Not about the heartbreak that would linger for months to come. How much he should have resisted the urge but his heart wanted to play this dangerous game.
His thoughts now consumed about you, he could only imagine how it felt to touch your skin. Who would be the lucky one to hold you close to their heart. And who would be the one you went to for comfort and happiness. It sucked that you were his first person but he could never truly be the one to reach your heart. To be able to love and cherish you timelessly like you so deserved. He had to twists the urge to tackle you in a hug when you were around, refraining himself from touching you longer than acceptable. But there were times, where he genuinely couldn't help himself. You understood him like no other and it was almost eerie how much your interests were so similar to his.
He tried to flirt with you, god he tried. But either you were just not interested or you were just were oblivious. He liked to believed it was the latter option, the first would have surely broken him. As a shy and reserved turtle, being bold and outright wasn't his scene neither did feel right. He wasn't Mikey, to simply just ask you out and to so easily chat with you. So, he went with what felt right. What he thought you'd appreciate.
Earrings. It seemed silly but he worked so hard on them, constantly fixing them to what he believed would be your preference. He analysed the type of jewellery you wore and made it accordingly. His heart fluttered when he recalled you seeing them. You had gasped softly, touching them so gently with the pad of your index finger and his face flushed in embarrassment and nervousness.
"I-I realise it's pretty weird but-" He blabbered anxiously but he was completely thrown of guard when you threw your arms around his neck. "They're perfect, thank you Donnie! I needed new earrings anyway" you grinned, stepping back and taking your old ones out. "As a matter of fact..." the earrings were a perfect fit, shining underneath his lab lights.
"How they look?" You smiled, turning your head to the side allowing him to see the creation he made in all its glory on it's intended user. "Beautiful, you look beautiful... with-with them! Of course.." He chuckled nervously, his heart thumping with love at the acceptance of his gift. No one had seen this appreciative, this happy. "Ah, damn. I gotta run, tonight" you looked at your phone, and then back at the tall turtle. "I'll see you tomorrow. Night, Don" you hesitated a little before planting a sweet kiss to his cheek. You watched his eyes widen, mouth slightly parted as though he wanted to say something.
"I..." he broke off, when your lips came into contact with his cheek. For the first time in a while, his intelligent brain had failed him and he stuttered trying to think of a comprehensible sentence. 'C'mon Donnie!'
"Catch you later" you chuckled, waving goodbye at the turtle and disappearing out of his lab. To say he was elated was the biggest understatement of the year. His brothers knew he was happy, they noticed the small twinkle in his eyes in the morning when he grabbed his coffee. They saw the boost of energy and enthusiasm when you came over and they saw the happy smile on their brother's face when you talked to him. It had been so long when a human understood him for what he was, nerdy talk and all. Not wanting to change a single thing, talking to him as if he actually mattered. Even taking an interest in his works, finding him to be so interesting. He still couldn't get over it. And for that moment, everything was perfect. But as quick as that moment came, it left.
Time spent in the lair was rare, you were busy with other things and your life. Which was understandable, of course. Your world didn't revolve around theirs. But still, not a warning not a word to anyone. Donnie tried to continue with his life, but it felt strangely empty. No one to talk to him, no one to joke around with. His brothers were always there, but it wasn't the same. Not without you. He would be lucky to receive two text messages from you on a day. And as much as he wanted to pretend you were just focusing on your work, the foreboding pain and heartbreak weren't far away. His lab felt vacant, without the presence of a curious human asking questions and engaging in conversations. He never quite felt this alone in his lab before and he hated to think how much he needed you. One of the first human to come into contact with them and see them for who they were, rather than what. So why had you left so suddenly? The answer was deep in his gut, he wasn't important to you. It was a bitter pill he would have swallow, sooner or later.
"Ah shit!" He cursed, as the experiment he handled dripped on him. The burning liquid scalded his hand, blistering the skin almost immediately. He clenched his hand, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to reduce his small whimpers falling from his lips. He threw off his glasses and his goggles hearing the clattering of the equipment in doing so, running to the skin in the corner to help alleviate the burning pain in his hand. The burning sensation dulled to a throbbing instead and he breathed out, feeling tears streak down his cheeks. But they weren't due to the injury. His eyes blurred once more as he shakily closed the tap, biting his lip to help no sounds escape his throat.
Why was he crying over this? He felt so ridiculous, so pathetic but... he couldn't help it. His chest tightened, taking a breath seemed an impossible task with how tight his chest felt. He slumped to the ground, arms cradling his knees close while the pain his hand was long forgotten. It was a physical injury, it could heal with some ointment and a bandage. But when the pain comes from the heart, it's so hard to block it out. It wasn't something you could cover up and pretend it wasn't eating you out alive, pretend that you were okay when you truly weren't. Donnie never really wore his heart on his sleeve, never really showing anyone how he really felt unless it was important. But with you, it felt like his heart was in your hand and you just playing with it however you pleased. He missed how it felt to be loved by another. Even if you didn’t fully reciprocate the true feelings he had for you, having a little love was better than none at all. He didn't remember how long he stayed on the floor of his lab, all he wished was for you to enter his lab again. But you never did.
Patrol was something to take his mind off it. He texted you, but you never seemed to answer them. You didn't seem to want to. And as much as it killed him, he stopped sending text messages. He stopped worrying over it. His brothers saw his energy deplete slowly, how much he drank coffee now since he couldn't sleep. How much his appearance had changed from over thinking and the lack of any good rest. How snappy he was and how much anger he would have. But one night, that had all changed.
"Donnie..." Mikey whispered to his older brother, his face shifting to one of worry. Donnie kept his eyes focused on the building Leo specifically told them, not interested in what Mikey said. "Hm?" A small answer was given and Mikey sighed, coming closer.
"What's wrong bro? You've been acting so... cold lately. It's Y/N, isn't it?-" "No it's not! I-" Donnie fumed but paused when his anger raised at his youngest brother. Mikey merely stood, allowing the silence to provide his answer instead. Donnie's eyes closed, brain feeling like mush at the sound of your name. No tears, not today. Not right now
"I don't want to talk about it, Mikey-" "Don-" but before Mikey could further protest, his eyes caught sight of a very familiar looking shadow. It was you, holding hands with another person. You were laughing, joking around with another individual. The same person who acted this way towards his brother had now moved on so easily without a care. This couldn't be true, right? His breath hitched, looking back at his older brother debating whether he should say anything. Maybe you guys were just best friends, but when your lips met another pair... it was clear as day you thought otherwise.
Donnie saw, oh he saw it all. His heart felt like it was in throat, head dizzy from seeing you for the first time in weeks. He tried to say a word but it was useless, what could he have possibly said to justify your actions? This wasn't a best friend move, you truly moved on away from him. How much pain did his heart have to take to move on from you? How much times did he have to break before the reality sets in? Breathe, Donnie. Breathe 
"Donnie.." Mikey whispered, his heart broke seeing his brother so distraught. The genius blinked thrice, looking at his younger brother. The sympathy, the sadness in his baby blues confirmed his deepest fear. He wasn’t trapped in some nightmare, this was real. He had to face this. "Don't, just don't...." he hissed out, turning in his heel and flipping away. He ignored the protest of his younger brother, focusing instead of getting the hell out of there. He didn’t realise he was crying when stinging tears slid down his cheeks. His lungs burned for oxygen but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from running. His knees gave way on a rooftop, just as he was about to jump off. Any psychical injuries he had couldn’t overcome the one he was feeling in his heart. Is this how heartbreak felt? Surely he had to be in a relationship for that? 
Throwing his head back in exasperation and pain, he spared a glance at the full moon sitting above his head. Thoughts bounced off his mind, but he recalled a memory of you both sitting side by side watching the night fall. How much you both spilled your hearts to one another and a lone tear fell at how he will never be able to experience that with you. He knew it was too good to be true, why did he play that dumb game? Why did he willingly let himself in harms way, knowing there would be no way you could ever choose him. Even if Donnie wished and prayed that you would, your heart belonged to someone else. That someone wasn't him. He tried to hard to fit into your pretty perfect picture, forgetting how much it would hurt him when he realised that you could never feel the same way. And yet, even now he couldn't hate you. For who would want to be tied down to a pathetic mutant?
Imagination was a wild thing, and sometimes it lands you in pain and loneliness.
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Dancing With Your Ghost
Because of the high demand needing more I continued my fanfiction ‘What Might Be Our Last Dance’ so for everyone who reblogged liked and reached out I made this especially for you all so please let me know what you think and remember I love each and everyone of you *Blows Kisses* Enjoy guys and please forgive me for this 
@bloody-dark-shells03 @lonelyheart-clubband @fyreball66 @blossom-skies @midnightrebel669 @betelgeusessonajblog @nikitaboeve @masoulcold2 @mistyroselove @ravn-87 @darksaphire2002 @zombiesnips-blog @masoulcold @coco-rena @geekgirl24​ @leetah2999​ @raphaelsrightarm​ @moonlightprime​ @bayverse-turtle-power​ and everyone else that liked the first story hope I did it justice
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It had been well over a month since the mission and like she had feared Raphael hadn’t returned to her the next night, or the next, or even a week after that sending her into a deeper depression with every passing day that she waited by the door for her husband
She had their daughter to care for, had schooling and dance lessons to continue for the child, a nursery that her and the turtle were wanting to set up together for the little one coming soon but she couldn’t
She knew she had to keep going but she could no longer sleep staying up all night hugging his pillow telling herself this was all going to turn out okay long as she kept her faith not believing he was really gone, eating was a task she struggled with but forced food down if nothing but for his child going to care for her babies if nothing more, chores were slacked on until she was wondering the lair through the night trying to keep her mind busy from thinking the worse when her love didn’t walk through the door
Her heart ached wishing she had just begged him for one last dance, had kissed him again, maybe had just ran to him before he stepped out the door if only to tell him one more time she loved him
She shattered finally the morning she woke up after passing out from exhaustion to feel their little one kicking seeing her belly moving realizing he had never felt the movements would never feel the kick of what she was hoping was a son, just how much he was going to miss of the kids growing up unable to get off the bed as she cried until she heard her little girl rushing to get her out of bed forcing a smile
The hardest part was the questions her curious little turtle kept asking like; when her daddy was coming home to dance with her and momma again? Where her uncles were and if she could play Mikey’s games? Why she was crying and Grandpa Splinter wouldn’t come out of his room? It broke her to tell her baby they would be back soon while trying not to break down pushing through the day in hopes for good news to come
And finally it did
Slowly his brothers returned one by one each in bad shape
Michelangelo had came home first a few day after she had marked that month off the calendar screaming out for her when he didn’t see or hear anybody dragging himself in with a shattered ankle his head bleeding from a large gash where he had looked to have hit something hugging her tight when she had grabbed him sobbing into his chest glad to see him alive, trying to flirt with the woman as she stitched him up and had to set his ankle getting a sad smirk from her; even with a head injury he was still the same Mikey
His arms surrounding her was a momentary relief she never realized she needed
The stressed lines in her face deepened as he kissed her cheeks, without meaning too she finally asked what her heart dreaded but he couldn’t tell the woman anything of Raph more then they had been split up Raph with Donnie he with Leo to cover the front, seeing her face sinking further he quickly mumbled that Leo had pushed him out of the way before an explosion had sent him flying but that he didn’t remember anything before waking up under a bunch of rubble from the building that had went down
He hadn’t had contact with the red masked turtle since the night they left
A few days passed with no word of the others but the fact that Mikey was home gave her hope happy to see he was healing quickly and complaining when he couldn’t get up without crutches, a week later she was startled out of her thoughts in the middle of the night while holding a soft blanket Raphael had knitted for the baby by a crash in the living area, singing to keep her calm in hopes he would hear her if he did come home, thinking her husband was in the den she jumped up rushing down stairs not seeing anything
There was a second she panicked thinking the Foot had found their home going for a bat Casey had left months ago walking further seeing the light in her father in laws room aluminate a stretch of concrete that was wet moving over to find Donatello laying near the pool soaked to the bone and bleeding from a few wounds he looked to had treated and bandaged at some point groaning as she touched his shoulder looking up with a smile.
She physically dropped hugging him as the genius forced his body up nuzzling her when she clung to him tightly laughing between sobs as he tried to lighten the mood
She helped him to the couch drying the turtle off as he gave her part of the story as she fixed him up having to force his leg straight to pop his knee cap into place again wrapping it up as the turtle accounted how he had disabled their computers but before he could find out what they were plotting he had been attacked by the soldiers – how Raph had protected his shell making him retreat when they had been over run but past that they had lost track of one another when the second wave of reinforcements arrived telling her that last he had seen him he was with Leo
Him and Leo didn’t always see eye to eye on things but they were one hell of a team together able to work together perfectly even when they were at odds so if he was with the eldest she knew he was coming home – Raph would come back because she trusted Leo to bring him home safe knowing there would be a chance they’d be arguing over who saved who’s ass out there but she welcomed that coming fight if just to see them smile as they joked with one another
Slowly she started to wait by the door less no longer fearing for him she fell back into routine until the morning two weeks later she had been making breakfast turning to place the eggs on the counter looking up having thought she was alone suddenly screaming as she dropped the pan seeing a bloodied Leonardo in the doorway leaning on the frame, he looked so tired looking up at her his normally bright blue eyes dulled calling out to her so weakly she hadn’t moved thinking it was just a nightmare until the eldest reached out his eyes rolling back before he hit the unforgiving ground unconscious
Her screams pulled the others to the kitchen as she rushed to his side seeing most of his wounds were old from the battle on their mission getting Mikey to lay his head on her lap as Donnie worked on his wounds trying to wake him looking out to the way he seemed to have come praying she’d see Raphael but he wasn’t there
It was easy to see he needed medical attention soon unsure how bad his wounds were from all of the gore but  she could feel he was burning up his skin too hot, it took both younger turtles to get him up unstrapping his gear leaving it where it landed to hurry off getting a bed ready for him already in nurse mode when they laid him down laying a blanket over him as they placed ice on him trying to slowly bring his temperature down hearing him groan finally from the cold wiping off the blood from his face calling his name softly
For a moment it felt as if everything was going fast and slow in the same second
He didn’t respond to her for a moment her mind tricked her into thinking his chest wasn’t moving checking for a pulse finally finding one calling for Donnie to get her some oxygen hearing her little girl crying at the door quickly telling her to go play in her room as she tried to get to her uncle wanting him to hold her
Mikey saw the torn expression in her face as she tried to get Leo back but was going between the nurse and mom within her begging in tears for her baby to go out of there when for a moment Leo wasn’t breathing, she thanked him as he grabbed her taking her to her room explaining Uncle Leo wasn’t feeling too well
Her sweet voice asking where daddy was shattered her on the spot becoming numb as she worked getting him on fluids after locating the worst wound seeing the skin had festered now understanding why he was sick spotting the set in infection finally finding her voice just as Splinter entered the room to see his oldest son
“D-Donnie…” pointing for her medical bag the woman was mentally thanking god and whoever had convinced her to get her medical license; having never thought she’d be having to use it but was grateful she knew what she was doing having Donnie give her a hand in cleaning the worst as Splinter cleaned him up flinching at the extent of the infection in just one smelling something foul, grabbing up a tool she set to scraping away the infection gunk as much as possible while cleaning it thoroughly
To keep herself calm through the process she talked to the oldest turtle seeing once Donnie had cleaned the rest of his wounds he had started dressing them with plenty of ointment sighing once his breathing evened out still unconscious asking her if she needed him to take over but she couldn’t answer having him hold Leo on his side as she repaired his shoulder that had a nasty cut from a sharp object seeing it had torn clean through everything skin, muscle tissue, ligaments… someone had tried to take his arm off
Cleaning it was an unforgettable experience she wished she could rid from her memories her eyes burning and head pounding at one point nearly losing her mind as he started seizing up one hand locked around her wrist screaming even if she was sure he was sedated but she kept talking to Leonardo telling him he was okay, begging him to hold in there as stitches were placed her hands shaking so bad at one point she had to stop heart breaking in thinking if he was this torn up, if he had come home like this what would Raph look like
Three hours later he was finally pieced back together and resting calmly but for some reason the woman couldn’t leave his side holding his hand unable to move as the others told her she needed rest but she couldn’t function everything just felt numb
Mikey had brought her daughter in at some point to let her see Leo the little girl strangely calm as she reached for him finally getting placed on the bed and told to sit still so as not to hurt her uncle
She tried, really desperately tried to tell herself this was all a nightmare but it wasn’t and like she had been weeks ago she was panicking in thinking the worst for days on end scared what would come when Leo woke up, finally unable to shoulder the pain she slumped forward laying her head down shattering beside the leader’s bed pleading for herself to just wake up
She didn’t remember falling asleep but when she opened her eyes she was beside Raphael on the couch safe in his arms watching their favorite movie giggling making him jolt as she jumped him kissing her turtle passionately while he sat there shocked finally just pulling her close returning the affection asking her what she was doing hearing the husk in his breathless voice grinning as she just hugged him telling him she loved him so much saying everything she regretted not telling him the last time they had touched until he chuckled whispering she could never lose him, she almost called him a liar but instead holding him for as long as she could asking him to stay with her
Some hours later she felt somebody petting her hair groaning telling Raph to let her sleep a bit longer nuzzling into his hand until her eyes snapped open looking up at the gentle touch seeing Leo still had his eyes closed but he seemed more relaxed but as the woman reached out the leader took a deeper breath smirking as she touched his hand mumbling he was insulted, she got up fast feeling the same hand pulling her forward into a hug clinging to her as she cried into his neck kissing his cheek hearing him whispering before tears were soaking her cheeks making her look over seeing the one thing she never had
Leonardo – in tears apologizing and pleading for forgiveness
She shook her head trying to wipe the tears away smiling telling him he was fine that she had stayed on her own but as he looked up she saw something in his blood shot sapphire orbs that had her frozen on the spot her heart already not holding up in suddenly understanding shaking her head, his bandaged fingers touching her cheek watching him break as she refused to believe what she was hearing
“I couldn’t get to him in time”
Her breath left her in a distraught scream as she stumbled back shaking her head repeatedly saying ‘no’ he had to have some kind of brain damage and was confused but as he recounted the last few minutes of the battle it settled in her chest he was reliving it even though the woman could see him trying to keep it together but lost his ability to speak as he forced out the last thing he could physically remember
He couldn’t find Mikey after the bomb had gone off his shouts for the youngest turtle as he searched the piles for his baby brother had drawn Raphael to him after he had made Donnie run for it both of them searching franticly finally being forced to run when The Foot had ambushed them driving them to retreat into a trap both of them had been looking for a way out losing more ground before the red masked turtle had pointed to a window yelling for Leo to go as he held off the enemy
As he got it open calling for Raph to retreat he saw his brother becoming over ran, going back to help him he hadn’t taken two steps before the building had exploded sending him through the wall and into a free fall crashing on a roof feeling bricks and debris pelting him as the middle of the building went up in flames
She remembered screaming that he was lying, pleading with him to tell her this was all a hoax but as she got closer he just pulled her into his chest telling his sister in law he was so sorry seeing the rest of his family running in to find her curled up against his chest sobbing her heart out in knowing her husband was lost
After having to finally explain to their baby daddy wasn’t coming home the questions and tears had forced her to admit he was gone forever and right there trying to comfort a sobbing little girl she collapsed hugging their girl mourning she couldn’t make this better
She was completely numb after that night spending two days in confinement inside her room unable to walk away from his area
Their memories hung on the walls
The love she had felt in their bed
His scent and clothes and the way he had always been there
For two days she couldn’t force her body up keeping her daughter beside her through the sleepless nights until Mikey or Donnie would come to get her to let the woman have a moment to grieve without having to hold it in to keep the others from seeing her crack all over again, when she finally could get up she grabbed his hoodie putting it on and just curled up on his side breathing in his scent until she could let sleep take her
Leo came to see her once he was healed up enough to get around on his own rubbing her back as she laid there silently promising they would still help her, his voice growing thick as he laid down beside her hugging her close telling her he’d always be there like the rest of them swearing the kids would always have a father but it shattered her to know Raph wouldn’t get to see them grow up
Her due date was getting closer and it started to dawn on her she would be giving birth without him repeatedly swearing she wouldn’t be able to do it without her husband holding her hand but Donnie couldn’t help reminding her this was going to happen no matter how much she tried deny it which only deepened the depression that only her children could pull her from talking to the little one in her belly telling him of his father and how wonderful he was
She wanted to see him in her dreams but every time she closed her eyes he was gone from there too a distant memory she was dying to see just one more time but he was gone from there as well, where he had been haunting her dreams since the night they had left Raphael was gone from her happy place
A week passed and when she could finally walk out of the room she stopped at the bottom of the stairs seeing his family had made a memorial for him right there by the weight room his smiling face in a photo had her stuck in the middle of the room never seeing Leo coming up behind her but the moment he touched her she went limp feeling him holding that much tighter helping her to take the steps forward until she was able to reach out grabbing the picture of them from their wedding day seeing how happy he looked as she walked down the aisle laughing sadly at how his eyes had held so much love that day going back to their room alone clutching that picture as she fell to the floor
Life seemed to be moving forward but she was caught in that night he had walked out the door; Donnie had gave her a check up getting a good look at the infant she was carrying wanting to tell her what the baby was but she refused to know wanting to keep to what they had promised going to find out together when she gave birth, at one point she had called him for breakfast turning when Leo had said her name realizing she had set the table for him and made his favorite, when asked one night the woman had said he was coming home soon making dinner in a daze before Mikey was hugging her from behind
There were days she swore she heard him talking to her, several days started with his deep sleepy voice in her ear, one night after getting her daughter down for bed she had thought she heard him yelling her name rushing downstairs to see nobody was home, the day before she was talking to him and turned to find nobody had been talking back
She was just starting to think she was going crazy when one night she heard their song stumbling down to the den to see Donnie had passed out at his computer accidently hitting the music file she had forgot was on his monitor going to turn it off but the tune stopped her as she looked over to the memorial taking in his face
As if on it’s own her limbs moving the female back thinking of him as she pulled the red bandana of one of Raph’s old masks he had gave her for her hair down covering the already wet eyes that were letting more tears fall moving slowly around knowing where not to go dancing like they had that last night her emotions being let out as she moved crying loudly when she got to the part that required a partner but as she started to drop a pair of hands landed on her waist keeping her up
She didn’t want to turn around to be disappointed but the press of a hard chest plate on her back made her take the next step finding the figure behind her moving at the same time doing her best to imagine it was the man her heart longed for
Before she knew it she was being guided through the movements by her partner every step made at the exact time whoever had decided to step in was taking the steps like they had done them a million times supporting her heavily pregnant body like she weight nothing
The rough feeling of the calloused fingers on her wrist as she was spun and the height had her thinking it was Leo who was usually the one still up with her lately hoping he wasn’t hurting himself to give her a moment of happiness
Completely suffocated by the fragrance of Raph’s hoodie she didn’t smell the smoke under the cologne she had sprayed just to keep him with her, the gentleness in the care the one holding her showed, the way those big hands cradled her larger body just perfectly, the hot breath on her neck that for a moment had her so calm she forgot where she was taking anything she could get
For just a second she was in heaven not a care in the world
For a moment she didn’t remember the hell that was taking over inside her
She smiled through the tears soaking his mask pleading for it not to end too soon even though the music stopped finding they kept swaying with her
The startled shuffle as Donnie jumped in his roller chair in front of her made her snap to attention pulling the fabric off looking up but was met with the three turtles staring at her in disbelief leaving her confused
Leo who had come down to look for her when he didn’t see her in her bed when heard her sobbing erratically already in tears at the sight behind her, Mikey had just woke up after watching his brother’s favorite movie series going to go upstairs to cuddle up with his sis needing comfort when he saw something moving through the lair heading for the woman never noticing his older brother at his side choking out something she couldn’t hear, Donnie had finally startled hearing the music playing loudly just before it ended waking up and becoming frozen in his chair his eyes wide looking past her like there was a monster standing behind her
That was when it hit the woman somebody was still dancing with her eyes going wide as a soft kiss was pressed to her neck hearing a deep growl from behind her she had never thought she would hear a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around her body
“Thought I’d never get ta ‘ave this dance with ya again” the deep voice against her ear had her in tears so convinced it was all in her head finally turning around slowly seeing Raphael standing before her, both hands trembling while taking in the massive turtle who was beaten and bloodied, his clothes burned and torn, a deep gash in his cheek that had healed wrong but – he was alive
She couldn’t breath stumbling back scared her mind was making her see him now on top of hearing her love when he wasn’t really there looking up at him as he moved forward so slowly his expression so soft compared to the hard look he wore all the time seeing the broken look on his mates face as he reached out to touch her stopping just inches away letting her come to him but the moment he touched her she trembled his name coming out so softly under her breath he hadn’t heard it at first
She touched his hand breathing rigidly so shaken she was scared she was about to wake up “R-Raphie… is it-”
He nodded seeing she was so guarded and stiff “It’s me baby… ’m right here it’s me” the turtle pulled her forward smiling as she seemed to latch onto him touching his face repeatedly choking out a wail as he grabbed her fast hugging her tight his lips instantly on hers showering her in affection laughing as she kissed his face looking him over not even caring he looked like something out of a horror flic smiling like he could see she hadn’t done in so long
Before he had came in that entrance he had tried to clean himself up just in case his little girl was up but he was still a mess it had taken him a while to get home his body killing him having to dig himself out from under the building that had went down on him yelling for his older brother not wanting to think Leo was under the ruble
He hadn’t been able to walk for a week having smashed his ankle in trying to jump out of the way after the first blast the wall probably saving his life even though it had almost crushed him a shattered support being the only thing that had kept it from smashing him under the weight his phone destroyed in the explosion and no way to contact the others he had been held up in a abandoned substation miles away
He had been through being severely sick due to infection without anyone to help finally passing his fever and forcing himself to get up, it’d been hell walking but once he had numbed it had been easier needing to get home had him pushing through until he couldn’t go having to rest but the moment he caught his breath he had gotten right back up needing to get back to his family fearing the other’s hadn’t made it home, needing to see his daughter if only one more time, swearing he was going to dance with his girl again
Looking down at her he apologized telling her he had come back even if he hadn’t promised he had made it home like he hoped she had believed kissing her as she placed his hand on her belly before feeling the kicks his golden orbs growing misty as he looked down seeing his little one was moving a lot seeming to know who was squeezing mommy
Leo stumbled forward touching his brother’s arm gaining his attention chuckling as he pulled him into a hug showing that softer side, he had sat his girl down hugging his brother before he got tackled by the other two groaning in pain yelling for them to chill but he didn’t push them off chuckling seeing her laugh as his brothers gave him all kinds of hell over taking so long to get home glancing over as she lowered herself beside him kissing him softly before a small voice made them all look over
Standing at the bottom of the stairs was the little girl still looking sleepy calling for her momma; the noise had to have woke her up if it hadn’t been her recent nightmares daddy wasn’t there to chase away
She stumbled forward each of his brothers moving as he sat up seeing this baby looking at him almost like he was a stranger as he got up with some trouble until Leo pulled him with his good arm grunting in effort to not show he was hurting
He chuckled getting on his knee that popped loudly from the pressure but he didn’t even flinch calling her name as she looked to her mom and uncles then back to him holding his hands out seeing tears as she hugged her turtle doll closer “C’mere daddy needs a hug” the woman hugged his arm as the little girl slowly took a step whimpering out a cry unsure she was seeing him before he clapped his hands waving her forward “C’mon kitten ya gonna make me wait”
Her golden green eyes lit up at his nickname for her realizing she wasn’t imagining him “D-Daddy…” he nodded chuckling as she pulled her gown up off the floor running forward tackling him being met with the unmovable wall he was as he hugged her tight trying to hide the tears as she cried into his neck loudly clinging to him like he would disappear if she let go “DADDY! MY DADDY HOME!”
He pulled his girl into his side kissing her and his baby squeezing them both nuzzling into his wife’s chest as she held him when he finally broke laughing through the tears nodding as she whispered to him that she was never letting him go again
He needed a shower bad wanting to just be in something more comfortable, his injuries needed to be looked at but right then all he wanted was to stay right here for a moment longer kissing her belly whispering his praises and affections to his goddess thanking heaven he hadn’t lost this chance
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hi darling :) if its not too much trouble, could you write something with michael clifford using number 16 from the hurt/comfort prompts??
Hurting - M. Clifford
TW: MENTION OF FAMILY DEATH AND DEPRESSION. PLEASE DO JOT READ IF THIS CAN CAUSE DISCOMFORT OR MENTAL ILLNESS FLARE UPS FOR YOU.
Thank you for this request, lovie! It’s never too much trouble! I’m sorry it took so long! Hope you like it!
Original story by sarcastically-defensive17
16. “Stop telling me you’re okay.”
For her whole life, her sister, Amelia, had been there. Through every love, every heartache, through every memory and dull moment.
The ups and downs, the moment she brought Michael home to meet their parents, and the many night she spent alone while Mike was on tour with the guys.
Amelia had been Y/N’s best friend for 24 years.
Then, by freak chance, a man so high on whatever forms of drugs ended her life with a simple turn of the wheel and push of the accelerator.
Her canary yellow convertible was a wreck, unsalvagable.
She was dead on impact.
Men in blue knocked on her door one afternoon and Michael answered, dogs jumping around his legs and his girlfriend dancing in her kitchen to whatever was playing on the radio.
Michael had never heard a sound so full of pain than when Y/N heard the news. The sobs started as soon as the idea sunk in, and she crumbled to the ground in Michael’s arms.
A painful scream tore from her throat and Michael could no longer fight both the tears for the woman he had grown close to throughout his relationship with Y/N and his girlfriend who was mourning the loss of her best friend.
They stayed in the same stop long after the police had left, promising to send somebody over to perform a welfare check.
For hours she broke down. The tears sapped her energy.
Her best friend was gone.
After six months she learned to fake a smile, act like she wasn’t torn apart inside.
She was never close to her parents so she had Amelia and Michael. And now Amelia was gone, and Michael was trying his best to be there for her.
Six months later, and her heart hadn’t even began to heal. The battle with depression she endured in her younger years has resurfaced and the one person that helped her through it was no longer around.
Michael hadn’t heard from her in a few days. He was worried but every time he messaged there was no reply. Every call went to voice mail.
He wanted to give her space but he also wanted to be there for her. He hadn’t told her, but he loved her.
He loved her so much that it killed him to watch her go through such a tragedy. She had lost the other half of her soul with the death of her sister, and it was as it the light was fading from her eyes with each passing day.
“What’re you doing, mate? You’re scrolling on that phone faster than a kid on Instagram trying to hide a half naked photo from his mum,” Calum jeered him, walking carefully through to the lounge room with two cups of coffee in hand.
“Thanks,” he answered at the sound of the cup connecting with the wooden coffee table. “I’m trying to find something.”
“What’s this something?” Calum was a nosy person. He had no shame over it, either.
“I need to find a video of an otter,” he answered, looking up to see the confused look on his best friends face, “for Y/N. I send her one every day, just a little something to hopefully make her smile.”
A cheesy smile spilled onto Calum’s face as he watched the blond man go back to his scrolling.
He made a sound of admiration, reaching across to punch Michael on the cheek, only to have his hand slapped away.
“How is she doing, by the way?”
Michael sighed, setting his phone down after he sent off a few videos to her on Instagram.
He rubbed a hand through his hair, ruffling it with a huff as he forgot a hat of some kind before going to Calum’s.
“Not well, I think. I haven’t heard from her since Thursday last week.” He was filled with worry, but he didn’t want to disturb her in her time of grief.
He was mostly worried that her depression might return.
It was obvious that she would fake a smile. He saw the glassiness in her eyes whenever she had a moment to let her thoughts act on their own volition.
She was hurting so deeply, and he wanted nothing more than to help her.
He just didn’t want to invade her space or force her to feel as if she needed to open up.
“Have you tried to talk to her?” Calum’s face was pinched in confusion. He had known the woman for as long as Michael had, and it was odd for her to go AWOL.
He couldn’t deny that he too was worried.
“Called her every day, gone to voice mail,” he sighed, stretching forward to drink from his cup. “The only hint I have that she acknowledges my messages is that she likes the videos I send her.”
“Go to her house,” Calum demands, folding his arms over his chest and watching his friend.
“No, Calum, you know I can’t-“
“Can’t what? Can’t go and visit your girlfriend?” He scoffs, snatching Michael’s shoes and tossing them at him.
Michael stays silent. He knew that it couldn’t hurt, after all, he had been to her house many times before.
“This isn’t up for argument, Clifford. Your girl is grieving, and she might need some comforting from her blonde bear boyfriend.”
“Did you just call me a bear-“
“So put your ugly ass shoes on - who the fuck even wears TN’s - and get in your ugly ass car and hug your adorable ass girlfriend or you’re never allowed to use my pink cup again,” Calum wasn’t playing around. He was one of Y/N’s closest friends, and over time he had been able to learn when she wasn’t okay and didn’t need somebody, or when she wasn’t okay and did need somebody.
This situation was definitely the latter.
“But-“ Michael tried to argue as Calum reefed him to his feet by the elbow.
“Drive yourself or I’ll drive there and make Y/N fall in love with me.”
“As if,” Michael scoffed.
“Don’t tempt me. Nobody can resist these cheeks,” Calum winked, squaring his shoulders as he pulled the man over to the door and pushed him out.
The door closed in his face and Michael grunted, “You have cheeks like a toddler!” He called, turning towards his car and walking off.
~~~~~~
Y/N was doing... nothing.
Not a single thing.
She was just... numb. She couldn’t even think of how to explain the bland, emptiness that she felt.
Her motivation for anything had quickly called out of a third story window, and she struggled to regulate her mood.
She was sick of faking a smile. She wanted to let her grief consume her, but she was scared of not being able to come back from it.
She had already dealt with her depression once, and she was terrified to let this bout of depression get anywhere near what it was before.
She was almost there.
A knock on the door sounded through her house. She heard it repeat. The sequence of five knocks that Michael would always do, repeating three times.
Four times. Five times.
25 knocks before the sound of the spare key in the tumbler echoed in the silence, the wood creaking open and the distinctive sound of his feet on the hardwood was familiar on her ears.
Her room was at the back of the house, second door on the left of the hallway.
He knew where she would be, and he knocked five times on her bedroom door, peaking his head around the door frame.
She was sat, knees pulled upwards and arms loosely hung over then. She was just staring at the wall.
All of her pictures had been taken down, and she was staring at the place they once were.
It was too painful to see the happy memories of when Amelia was still with her.
“Hey, baby,” she blinked, not turning her head to him. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, Mike. What’re you doing here?”
“Just wanted to stop by,” he sat on the edge of her bed, eyeing her carefully. “Haven’t seen you in a few days.”
She made a noise of agreement, turning towards him slightly.
Her eyes were bloodshot and her eyes were dark. She looked like she hadn’t been eating properly. When things got bad she tended to turn off of food, too absorbed in everything else to acknowledge the hunger.
“Y/N,” he placed a hand on her shoulder. “How are you? Honestly, this time. Stop telling me you’re okay if you’re not okay. I’m here for you, for anything.”
She was silent for a beat.
She didn’t know if she should tell him the truth. It was too painful to open up, but she was taught by her psychologist that opening up is the best way to confront her pain.
Even thinking of it forced the tears to prick in her eyes.
She pushed a long breath out of her mouth.
“I-I’m not okay, Mike. I’m not okay. I’m not okay,” she couldn’t stop the sob that tore from her mouth.
He moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“Baby, I’m here for you,” he placed his hands on either side of her face, bringing her eyes to meet his. “I’m always here for you.”
She was drying her tears with his shirt involuntarily.
The comfort provided by the hug was enough to ground her and suddenly, things didn’t feel so numb.
It was just painful.
“I’m always here for you, whenever you want to talk about anything.”
“Thank you, Mikey,” she whispered against his chest.
“Let’s have a rest, okay? I think you need it,” he asked her, watching as she nodded against his chest.
He moved aside so they could lay down, allowing him to kick his shoes off before pulling his feet onto the bed.
She placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing his attention back to her for a second.
“Um, after, could we talk. About...her?” She was hesitant.
At the moment, all she wanted was Michael. She wanted to fall asleep in his arms and forget for a moment that her best friend was gone.
No matter what, she still had Michael.
Michael was there for her through all of it.
“Of course,” he kissed her forehead again. “Whatever you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
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calmlftv · 4 years
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burlesque!sos - chapters 5 & 6
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description: you break some hearts, celebrate your birthday, and cycle through the five stage of grief in a short period of time; a little bit of angst & forgiveness sprinkled in. 
word count: 4.6k (roughly)
warnings: lil bit of angst, one verbal altercation
w/n: she’s back! we have one last chapter of this before the end, and my first ever au will be complete! thank u all for joining me on this little journey, i can’t wait for y’all to read the ending 💕
taglist: @spicycal​ @castaway-cashton​ @irwinkitten​ @n-ctarinenga​ @thesubtweeter​ @ashisonthefloor​ @ashtonsos​ @loveroflrh​ @boxofteenageideas​
due to how many words are in these parts, i’ll be putting the entire thing under the read more! 
find all of the previous chapters here!
Chapter 5 
Another two weeks went by before you were allowed to perform again, your injury healing beautifully and Kay checking in periodically to make sure you were doing your stretches. Your first day back at rehearsal was met with a celebration, Luke and Georgia getting together to surprise you with a welcome back party. Everybody had chipped in for a cake, seemingly the entire crew there as they celebrated your return. Much to your surprise Calum also showed up, sneaking in behind you and surprising you for your first day back. 
For your first performance back Cal sat at the bar, watching and cheering you on while you performed; the butterflies came back every time you caught his eyes from the stage, his smile never leaving while you were up there. 
After another great routine you went backstage, taking your time while another group went on stage for a number you weren’t in. Bright colors covering your vanity caught your attention, your head turning as you beamed. A beautiful vase of flowers sat at your vanity, vivid colors almost blinding you as your fingers plucked the note from the tall stand. 
Happy to see you back, Wildflower. The note tugged at your heart, the familiar nickname warming your chest. Come find me after the show.
Cal’s note to you made you smile, tucking it in the corner of your mirror before you carried your flowers back to your room. 
After the show you were packing up your bag, turning off the lights to your vanity and turning to head to your room to change when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. 
You turned and smiled as your eyes took in Michael, his smile returned and his hands in his pockets. 
“Hey Mikey,” you greeted cheerily. The adrenaline from performing was still rushing through your veins, making you a bit too cheery. 
“Hey yourself,” he teased, taking a small step towards you. “You looked amazing up there tonight.” 
You smiled, your eyes moving to the ground as you did. “You’re too kind,” you joked, taking a joking bow as Michael chuckled. When you straightened he was quite a bit closer to you, his eyes carefully taking you in as you froze in place. 
“I, uh,” he started, clearing his throat again. “I wanted to talk to you...about what we did a few weeks ago…”
Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What about it? I thought we talked about it…”
Michael sighed, reaching up a hand to run it through his hair. “Yeah, we did,” he sighed again, looking at the ground as his shoes nudged around a rogue pearl. “I just...I’ve been doing some thinking.” 
Uh-oh.
Michael groaned a bit as he refused to meet your eyes. “I just-“ he started, stopping before forcing himself to continue. “I’ve been doing some thinking and I realized that I don’t want it to be a one time thing.” 
You paused, leaning to the side against your vanity as he continued. 
“You are...beautiful, Rory. Inside and out,” he spoke, sincerity dripping from his words. “I know us having sex didn’t mean anything to you, and I’m probably stepping way out of line, but I just can’t live with myself if I don’t try.” He took a deep breath, finally meeting your eyes. “Will you go out to dinner with me?” 
The question took you by surprise, your eyebrows raising as you looked at Michael. You chewed the inside of your cheek, eyes dropping to the ground. No words needed to be exchanged as you stated silent, Michael sighing as he took one more step towards you. He closed the gap between you, his fingers brushing your hips. 
“Can I just-“ he stopped, your eyes meeting his. “One more kiss. Please.” 
You paused before you nodded, your body moving before you really gave it any thought. Michael’s hands rested on your hips, tugging you close as his head dipped to meet yours. His lips were soft and gentle, your hands moving to rest on his chest as you pressed your lips together. His body pressed against yours as the two of you kissed, his hands holding you fast until you broke apart. 
He was blushing, his lips moving to your forehead before he stepped back and released you. He smiled, the edges of it coated in sadness as he started to turn away. 
You stood on your own, lips tingling as you got lost in your thoughts. A thud behind you broke you out of your stupor, turning again and seeing Calum standing there. A small cardboard box was on the floor, toppled over to reveal the single cupcake Calum had gotten for you. Your heart broke at the look on his face, his attire nicer than it normally was when he hung out with you as his eyes gave away his heartbreak. 
“Cal-“ you started, taking a step forward. You stopped when he stepped back. 
“S-Sorry, I should uh,” he stammered, his eyes becoming a bit glassy as tears welled up in them. “I should go. Sorry.” 
He turned and hurried out, your feet carrying yourself after him until you realized it was futile. You stopped at the box on the ground, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared in the direction Calum had disappeared in. You sniffled and let out a sob as you looked at the mess on the ground, kneeling down to clean it up while you cried over your missed chance with the guy of your dreams. 
Suddenly a hand appeared on your shoulder, your eyes meeting a beautiful pair of blues when your head turned. 
“Luke?” You said, surprised as you sniffled and quickly worked to wipe away your tears. “I thought you left, what are you still doing here?” 
Luke smiled, kneeling beside you and helping you pick up the mess. “Just had to talk to Sisi about something,” he answered, taking all of the mess in his hands and throwing it in the nearest trash can. He turned back to you and helped you stand, his hand taking yours and giving it a squeeze. “What’s wrong?”
You just looked at Luke and broke down again, the man wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in for a hug. He gently guided you back to your room when you calmed down, the man rubbing your back as you both stepped inside. 
Luke’s intensely innocent look shocked you as he sat in a chair, gesturing for you to lay on the couch beside him. “Tell me what’s going on, darlin’.”
You listened to his instructions and laid down, realizing how drained you were by everything that had gone down. You closed your eyes and explained everything to Luke, including all the dirty details of you and Michael and your feelings for Calum. He sat silently and listened, nodding and asking questions to clarify when he needed it. 
When you finished you sighed, the heel of your hands rubbing harshly at your eyes. Luke sat silently, the gears turning in his head as he watched you. You heard him stand and walk into your small kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out the bottles of wine you kept in there. You sat up and gave him a look as he went through your cupboards, stopping when he found the wine glasses he wanted. 
His eyes met yours and he smiled, bringing his spoils to the coffee table and setting them all down. “I will give you advice,” he said, plopping down on the floor next to you. “But we are going to drink and watch bad movies until we fall asleep. In the morning I’ll give you advice, but tonight it’s about making you feel better. Deal?” 
You couldn’t help but smile at Luke, his lips reflecting the look as he squeezed your knee. 
Throughout the night the two of you drank, watching movie after movie and laughing until your stomachs hurt. Luke crashed on your couch, much too inebriated to be driving himself home, and you tucked yourself into bed, both of you still giggling as you fell asleep. 
Chapter 6 
Over the next few months you and Luke grew closer together, the two of you and Georgia forming a small group of people that quickly became your inner circle. The three would hide out in your room after rehearsals, just enjoying each other's company until Luke had to leave to get ready for work. You had filled them both in on your situation with Calum, both of them giving you advice and letting you word vomit on them.
You and Calum hadn’t spoken since the night he saw you kiss Michael; aside from some unanswered texts from you, it was radio silence, your only form of communication about Calum coming from Luke. Apparently he had gotten back with his ex - at least, that was Luke’s deduction from the numerous bangs and moans that would be coming from Cal’s room when he got home. Cal was elusive these days, either being locked in his room or away to work or wherever he went when he wasn’t home, seemingly trying to keep himself busy to avoid talking about his feelings with anyone; he would text Luke to make sure he was alright but then not respond to anything, not even reading the texts until he checked in again.
Michael and you were still friends, the two of you taking some time apart before reconnecting after you rejected him. He occasionally spent time with you, Luke, and Georgia, which was how you found out he and Crystal had gotten back together; they had sat down and had a long talk together, ultimately ending on a happy note for both of them. In fact, the three of you were the first people he sent the wedding date to, your group text blowing up with happiness for them finally about to get married. Jokes flew immediately after about Luke being the DJ, the humor a good distraction for your mind.
On the morning Luke bumped into Nia in his apartment he immediately went to the lounge, walking in just as rehearsal was wrapping up and pulling you aside. When he told you, you smiled, tears threatening to spill until he wrapped you in a hug, Georgia quickly joining the two of you. Your heart was broken, knowing that you had hurt Calum in such a way; and not only had you hurt him, but there was nothing you could do to fix it. That was slowly driving you insane, your own guilt, pain, and feelings for Calum all bottling together until you would explode. 
While you wallowed in your sadness behind the scenes, you hadn’t even noticed the days go by until a knock sounded at your door early in the morning. Groggily you got up, walking over and opening it to the sight of all the other dancers - including Crystal, Sierra, Luke, and Ashton - grinning and popping party poppers. 
“Happy Birthday!” They all cheered together, the confetti making you laugh as you were tackled in a group hug. Everybody crowded in, Ashton leaving your door open once everybody had managed to squeeze through the door. Excited chatter and bursts of giggles followed the gaggle, all of you just so happy to be together to celebrate you. 
Right as you were thinking of throwing everybody out Georgia cleared her throat. “So,” she started, everybody quieting down as she spoke. Excitement buzzed through the air. “For your birthday, we wanted to get you something really special. You’ve been such a wonderful addition to our family, Ro, and you know better than anyone that family is everything.” Confused, you nodded, the other girls all beaming. 
Georgia and Luke moved to either side of you, both of them helping you stand and linking their arms through yours as a very pregnant Daisy wrapped a blindfold around your eyes. You heard everybody shuffle out in front of you, Luke and Georgia giggling wildly as they lead you out of your room and through the backstage. You stopped on the stage, the clinking of Michael’s bottles in the back alerting you to where you were. 
“Okay, ready?” Georgia asked, a nod coming from you until the blindfold was removed to reveal your parents standing in front of you. 
Your heart exploded in your chest, your hands immediately lifting to cover a gasp that had escaped you. Your parents were teary eyed, the three of you moving towards each other until meeting in the middle in a big, sobbing mess. Around you everybody applauded, your shoulders shaking as you hugged your parents as tightly as your body would let you. 
Once you pulled away you sniffled, wiping at your eyes while wearing a big grin. “Oh my god,” you said, everybody laughing a bit. You turned towards everybody, shocked. “How did you all do this?!” 
Sierra chuckled lightly, Luke standing close by her side while Ashton stood on the other, eyes on his phone as he sent a text. “A little birdy let it slip that you were a little lonely,” she stated, Luke blushing and giving you a sheepish smile. “So, we all chipped in a little bit and flew them here for a couple days to hopefully cure that.”
You were speechless, the gesture just so kind as you looked around at the faces of your sisters. At that moment you were overwhelmed with your emotions, all them crashing over you individually until you couldn’t take it anymore. You were in a room full of people you loved and adored more than anything, a happy sigh escaping your lips as you tried to find the words to say. 
“Thank you,” you said simply, wiping at your eyes again. “Thank you guys so much. This means...so much more than you could know.”
Everybody applauded after your very short speech, your eyes landing back on your parents before grinning. 
“So, gonna stay for rehearsal?” 
** 
Calum was, by every standard, depressed. 
Seeing the girl he had a huge crush on kissing another man practically ripped his heart out, and seeing it happen on the night he was finally going to ask her out only made things worse. Her texts he left unanswered, locking himself away in his room and ignoring Luke’s attempts at reasoning with him; he had seemingly lost his chance with the girl of his absolute dreams, his newly mended heart just being broken again. 
He had practically sworn off of love after that, throwing caution to the wind and allowing himself to fall back into his old habits. When Nia called again he answered, inviting her over for sex and nothing more to make his days go by faster. It meant nothing to him anymore, the intimacy he really wanted to be having going to somebody else. He’d be lying, though, if he didn’t say he imagined Rory under him in place of Nia, hearing her moans and little noises as he took care of her instead. 
Cal avoided as much human contact as possible over the months, going to work before Luke woke up and making a beeline to his room when he would come home, only leaving when he heard Luke leave for work. He felt bad avoiding his best friend but he really didn’t want to listen to any reason, he just wanted to lose himself in a routine so he could avoid facing the complicated feelings he was burying inside his heart. 
One morning after multiple rounds with Nia, he rolled over, the familiar frame of his ex gone from the now cold sheets. He sighed, sitting up before he heard the voices outside his door, palms rubbing at his eyes as his ears eavesdropped.
“How’s he doing?” A deep voice asked, the sound muffled by the thickness of the door. No doubt it was Luke, Nia’s soft and higher voice filtering in after. 
“Fine, I guess,” she said, confusion lining her tone. “Why?” 
A sigh, probably from Luke. “It’s a misunderstanding, but he’s heartbroken over a girl at my work. He hasn’t talked to me since it happened…” 
Their voices tapered off, Calum groaning and throwing the sheets off his body before walking into the private bathroom he had. He roughly turned on the shower, the nozzle squeaking as the water poured out of the head. He closed the door and locked it, stepping in and letting the water fall down his naked body. 
Thoughts swirled around in his head, the water pressure against his skin tethering him to the ground as his mind floated upwards. The constant hurricane happening in his mind was temporarily soothed in the shower, the steam and hot water mingling all together to create a calming sensation in his troubled, scrambled mind. The water calmed his tense shoulders, both of them dropping slowly as he let the water hug him. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, the cool tiles a big difference from the steam surrounding him. The peace he felt was welcoming and kind of scary, tears threatening to fill his eyes as he shoved them down to his stomach. Peaceful silence was all he wanted and now that he had it, it was far too loud. 
Quickly he washed up and got out of the shower, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist before he opened the door. Steam flowed out before he did, his bigger frame moving towards his closet as Nia’s smaller one sat in his bed, now fully clothed. 
“Hey,” she said, her voice a bit sharp. Cal winced but kept moving, turning on the light and looking through his clothes for something to wear. 
“Hey yourself,” he mumbled, pulling out a shirt and a hoodie and laying them on the bed. He kept moving around, digging through a drawer in his dresser until he felt the smack of a pillow against his back. Annoyed, he slowly turned around, a poker face on as he looked at Nia. 
“What?” He asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 
Nia’s eyes flashed annoyance at him, lips pulled down in a frown. “Who’s this other girl Luke told me about?” 
Calum groaned, shaking his head and cursing. “Leave it alone, Nia.” 
Nia stood quickly, throwing her hands up in frustration. “No, Calum, who’s this other girl? Is that why you suddenly answered my phone call and wanted to hook up?” 
Calum’s fingers twitched, the man turning back to his dresser and pulling out more clothes. He didn’t answer, instead tugging his towel off his body and pulling on boxers and a pair of jeans. 
“Calum!” Nia shouted, the man wincing at the noise. “Answer me!” 
“Yes!” He snapped, spinning around to look at his ex. “Yes, that’s why I wanted to hook up with you! Can you drop this now?”
“No! I’m not going to avoid this conversation to save your fucking feelings,” she yelled, her hands balled up into fists at her side. 
“I’m not asking you to save anything,” he snapped loudly, snatching the shirt from the bed and tugging it over his head. He started putting on socks and a pair of shoes as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Why do you care, anyway? We’re just fuck buddies.” 
Nia was silent at that, her rage rolling off of her in waves. “Is that what you think of me?” She asked, her voice low. Calum turned around to meet her eyes. “Do you seriously think of me like that?” 
“Yes, it is, because that’s what this is.” Cal’s hand gestured between the two of them as he spoke, his other pushing himself off the bed. 
Nia scoffed. “Good to know you think so lowly of me.” 
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Calum said harshly, turning around to face th woman again. The volume of his voice increased as he continued. “You’re the one that cheated on me, remember? And as you just heard from Luke, I just had my heart broken by a beautiful girl that I really, really liked, so if you wouldn’t mind leaving me alone-” 
“God, can you stop bringing up the fact that I cheated all the fucking time?!” Nia shouted, her voice matching Calum’s. “Stop making me feel like shit for something that happened one time.” 
“Then you stop making me feel like shit for not wanting a relationship when I so clearly can’t handle one right now!” Calum stomped to the door, flinging it open and letting it slam against the wall as he gestured for her to walk through it. “If you don’t like this, then here’s the fucking door. Block me on socials, delete my number, and get the fuck out of my life.” 
Nia was silent, absolutely furious as she stood in Calum’s bedroom. After a second of an intense staredown she finally stomped her way out of the apartment, a slam followed by a shattering sound marking her exit. 
Calum stood in his bedroom doorway, hands clenching into fists over and over as he calmed himself down. He was never the type for violence but this punched him pretty close to putting a hole in the wall; the emotions he had been carefully tip-toeing around bundling themselves together in angry wrapping before presenting themselves to him. 
Once calm again he walked out of his room, eyeing the apartment to find what broke in Nia’s angry wake. Stepping into the living area he found it, the new vase Luke had just bought lying on the floor in a million pieces. Calum groaned, pulling out his phone to call Luke and update him on the mess. 
Just as he was about to hit the call button a jingling by the door drew his attention, the door opening to reveal his blonde roommate stepping in. Luke paused when he noticed Calum, his eyes then traveling to the broken item. Cal could tell he was upset when he saw it, shoving his phone into his pocket before he started speaking. 
“Mate, I’m so sorry, Nia and I got in to it and she slammed the door on her way out, and I guess it was enough for it to fall over-” 
Luke smiled at Cal’s apology. “Brother it’s all good,” he said kindly, Calum still rambling over his voice. 
“-I’ll pay for a new one, I’ll pay you back double for it, I’m sorry man-” 
“Calum.” 
“No, I’m serious, I’m gonna fix this-” 
“Calum.”
Luke’s insistence in his voice finally made Calum stop, the slightly shorter man stopping in his tracks as Luke put his hands on his shoulders. He hadn’t felt the tears in his eyes or the ones that had fallen down his cheeks. 
“This is about more than just the vase, huh?” Luke asked, his voice soft and kind. Cal wordlessly nodded, shoulders starting to shake as he tried to make himself stop crying. 
Luke gently guided his roommate to the couch, sitting him down before disappearing into the kitchen. He appeared with a bottle of water and what he knew to be Calum’s not-so-secret stash of Sadness Snacks, setting both down in front of him before he took a seat beside him. 
“Let’s talk.” 
** 
Having your parents around was a big confidence booster for you. 
While having them watch you perform was kind of wild, they beamed in the back, mingling with bar regulars as they sat and proudly watched you dance. Their support for you was obvious, your coworkers voicing their slight jealousy at the sight of your parents cheering you on. 
That first day was full of you just filling them in on what had been going on, your mother doting over you while your father just chuckled and watched her do so. Both of them accepted all your boy drama and even joined Luke and Georgia in teasing you about it, the four of them unrelenting but loving nonetheless. 
Driving your parents to the airport was bittersweet, the goodbyes a bit teary as you hugged your parents and watched them walk inside the airport to go back home. When you got back in your car you let yourself cry a bit more before collecting yourself enough to drive, the Los Angeles traffic making it a longer drive back to your home. 
On the way, while stuck in traffic, your cell phone started ringing, the caller ID popping up on the screen in your car as you answered. It wasn’t a familiar number, the area code giving away that it was someone in the city but the rest of it was strange as you spoke.
“Hello?” 
“Hey, Ro, it’s Crystal.”
Your heart stopped for a minute before you swallowed. “Hey, Crystal. What’s up?”
A sigh came through the other side of the phone before Crystal spoke again. “Okay, I’m good at small talk so we’re just gonna skip over that, okay?” 
You nodded, a pausing coming from both of you while you thought about what she could be about to say. 
“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
The words caught you by surprise. Crystal? Apologizing? You had to be dreaming. 
“I’ve been super rude to you since day one, and I really never even took a moment to really get to know you, I just let my ideas of you paint a picture of you in my head that wasn’t accurate.” Another long pause. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, too. That was uncalled for and all you had done was make an honest mistake, one that Daisy and I had made a thousand times. So, I’m sorry.”
You were stunned by her words; you had never expected or asked for an apology for her, actually insisting to everybody that you were fine with how things were between you and Crystal. You thought it was something that would never change, but now, sitting in the car, you realized those were the exact words you had been waiting to hear. 
“Thank you, Crystal. I forgive you.” 
A sigh of relief came through the phone. “Oh thank god, I’m so tired of trying to find reasons to hate you.” 
You laughed at that, Crystal chuckling on the other side of the phone. 
“Can we be friends now?” You asked, fingers tapping on your steering wheel. “I kind of need that right now.” 
You couldn’t see her face but you heard the smile on Crystal’s lips as she agreed, the two of you chatting for another minute before you hung up. 
The conversation filled you with happiness and confidence that you hadn’t expected, the reconciliation lifting a weight from your shoulders that you didn’t know had been there in the first place. You felt good for once, finally comfortable with yourself again as you sat in your car in the unending L.A. traffic. Something about that call inspired you, your thoughts running a bit wild as you decided to change your route. 
The streets you traveled on were new but familiar at the same time, the parking lot a bit quieter than you remembered it being as you pulled up and parked. A ball of butterflies and nerves had bunched up in your stomach, your insides almost desperate for release as you walked into the building. You took the stairs instead of the elevator this time, your mind racing with thoughts of how you were going to explain why you were there without sounding like a crazy person. 
When you stepped on to the correct floor your feet took it over for you, carrying you down the hallway until you reached the apartment number, your hand lifting and pausing before knocking rhythmically. 
You stood in front of the door and swallowed harshly, wringing your hands as your thoughts caught up with your actions. A few seconds that felt like minutes passed before you tried to slip away, the latch for the door turning before you had the chance to step away. 
The  door swung open, the man on the other side stunned at the sight before him. His bleached blonde hair had grown considerably, a bit of dark brown root now showing. The hood on his head accentuated his cheeks and pouty lips, dark eyebrows and freckles pulled upwards in surprise.
“Hey, Calum,” you said nervously. “Can we talk?” 
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