#//also i got earbuds for the first time in... years actually lol
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keeps-ache · 11 months ago
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the heels of my pants are wet !!
#just me hi#are they called heels ?#doesn't matter- now they are >:)#anyway i have found a love for big pants#i am short so feedback says i look silly. but i wanna be silly anyway so!! i'm winning :D#but anyway that Does mean that some pants that fit me also Don't fit me lol#they're too long. so the cuffs are on the ground + under my heels#and it's raining outside and i had to grab a christmas gift and i forgot to tug them up and now i have to roll them up-#and beCAUSE i can't just. sit on the floor i'm sitting criss-cross and the wet. is on. the inside bend of my knees#this is like. the worst thing on the planet fvhsdhc#but it's okay .....#i like water water is cool!! but also come On dude hfvsh#//also i got earbuds for the first time in... years actually lol#so i'm trying to remember how to use them comfortable hfsfvh#i miss my noise-canceling headphones.. auhhhhhhh.........#they were super cool and the only reason i stopped using them was because the cushion fell off of one (still used it though (painful (i put#a sock over it Lmao))) and then the wire eventually severed itself :/#like i had those since i was 13 and i had to get them replaced i think 2 years ago#the replacements since have been. okay hfshcdh#idk maybe i just blasted my ears out or maybe i'm just putting a rosy film over some memories or maybe i'm RIGHT but i'm pretty sure the#sound quality on every one after that has been kind of worse lol#/tho you know what these earbuds aren't too bad from the perspective of the headphones i've been using#like i have the volume on 4 and it's a nice mid-volume and Clear#with those chunky headphones (and i mean Chunkyyyyyy headphones) i had to put them on 20 to get any good sound + you could Hear It from lik#2-3 feet away fvshdc#these are silent...... hecka nice..............#//anyway it's not spooky season but it feels like it lol#merry christmas happy holidays!! hope these following days treat you kindly :)
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qfitpac · 1 year ago
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Imo this is the most likely event for Sunday, and let me explain why. (leaks from the QSMP discord)
First of all, earlier Quackity mentioned being on a plane. Why is this relevant? Well the only way to get to Korea is by plane. However, 14 hours later, he tweeted that he had lied about the plane. Now why would he do this?
This is, of course, because BTS had been testing the mod and realized that Korean wasn't working. For some reason, whoever coded the translate mod had mixed up the language files and replaced Korean with Spanish, specifically Spanish with a Korean accent. (Tbf I don't blame them, the file was named something like QSMP_language_file_v3_finalFINALVERSION_KOR_Korean_Hangul_Accented_Spanish_ESPANOL, and obvi if ur screen is small the last part would get cut off).
Now Quackity is in a predicament. He's very smart, obviously, so he cancelled his plane immediately and actually got a 70% refund even though he was technically canceling within the 24hr window. And then he got in a call with admins. I was actually in this call (they added me on accident) and although I don't speak or understand Spanish I was able to comprehend everything perfectly (they were speaking English).
Basically, they were screwed. BTS themselves had scheduled out time to make a guest appearance on the QSMP, this was huge! MASSIVE!! But the translator wasn't working: what were they going to do? Now naturally my first instinct was oh, well they can speak English, right? But I should've held in my trust of Quackity and the entire admin team, bcuz their creativity and problem solving is as always off the charts.
One of the admins (not going to name anyone for privacy reasons) had been doing a project on their spare time. Eggsonas, of course, have been a trend on and off since the first adoption day. And this admin had been making all sorts of models. It just so happened, by a stroke of luck, that they had made 7 bts eggs!!!!! Everyone was so excited about it, the entire call was shouting for a good minute lol. I actually had to take out my earbuds.
Eggs, of course, cannot speak. This solved the translator problem flawlessly, as the sign and book translators were working as normal. It also gave the BTS members an extra 2 hours to play on the server! (previously their managers had allocated 2 hours for them to find/create minecraft skins, which obviously is now unneeded.) It's a win-win-win.
Now on to analyzing the teasers: firstly, you'll notice the Update accounts tweets. These are, of course, referencing how bts have both touched and eaten ice and ice cream. Also, as true fans will know, bts just recently broke their freezer and had to mop everything up. It's a nice red herring given the previous ice imagery in teasers, and we all know Quackity loves his trickery.
Secondly, the seven outlined in grass. Grass has been a prominent feature in many BTS music videos. Some say it's even a staple of their work. For example, in their 4th music video there is grass on the ground, to represent how growing up has made them more grounded. Nextly, the seven. Obviously there are seven members, but combined with grass this is actually a double hint: BTS was active for seven years between 2013 and 2020 during which they released songs. This is a special number for them because of these events.
Now obviously, I don't have all the answers. My prediction on the discourse, for example, was completely made up. But i hope this gives you all a sense of what to expect come Sunday. (also please don't tell any qsmp admins I'm leaking this info ��😭😭😭)
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c0zy-fluff · 12 days ago
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Hey guys, I think it's about time I talk to y'all about smth......
GOLDENTHUNDER HCS!!!!!!!!
- When Poe first met Simon, their first impression of him was the pompous rich asshole that don't give two shits bout anyone else but himself (which is mostly right), but when they started to hang out with Simon more in the graveyard, they saw a bit more to him than just the rich bitch.
- When there's a time where Simon and Poe go out together on a date during the day, when Simon picks up Poe from their home, he always brings an umbrella (a dark one :3) for them cuz he knows they don't like the sunlight
- We know Poe likes listening to music in the graveyard, yeah? Well, they bring earbuds, not only for themself, but also in case Simon drops by to hang w/ them
- Simon is either a good flirt or an absolute mess w/ Poe. There is no in-between.
- When Simon flirts a lot w/ Poe and tries to get them flustered, Poe just turns their head towards Simon, gives him a deadpan stare for a second or two, and gives him a quick, small kiss and turns their head back to what they were looking at before, as Simon freaks tf out or just breaks on spot (and Poe is secretly proud of themself)
- Both of them would be the type to try and keep the relationship a secret cuz of Simon's reputation as Mr. Popular (that part was probably more of Poe's decision cuz secretly self conscious ooooooo) and also cuz no one would think those two would ever be a thing due to their trope together (however, a certain bat knows shhhhhhhh :}c)
- In public, they'd be absolutely at each other's throats; flipping each other off, insulting each other (and ofc they don't mean it, but it still hurts), and even getting into small scraps sometimes. But when they're alone, they're both a chill and a bit of a sappy couple (and they also apologize for the insults they had to make up about the other on the spot, which is the last thing you'd actually expect from either of them alone)
- When falling in love w/ one another, Poe would immediately realize they fell in love w/ the douchebag, and try to bang their head on a table to try and get Simon out of their mind (it doesn't work lol).
Meanwhile, if you were to ask Simon if he was in love with Poe, Simon would try to deny that he's got a thing for the emo, edgy raven who's also cute, funny, unique, understanding, and- ...oh. (Yeah, he'd be an idiot in love lmao)
- Simon would be one of the very first critters to actually get Poe to smile. Like, they're both just friends hanging out at a graveyard just walking around, and suddenly Simon trips over a gravestone accidentally and he hears something and soon sees something too, but it's just a small glimpse of it. Something...that would be unlikely to happen in a million years with anyone else; Poe gave a little chuckle and a small smile. Simon's had that memory on loop, and doesn't seem like he wants to get rid of it anytime soon.
- Simon absolutely LOVES Poe's grumpy face; he thinks it's cute when they get all pouty and annoyed. Even when they were just friends (who were just starting to develop feelings for one another), Simon would throw playful insults at the raven at any time just to see their grumpy face. (Though, it's hard to tell, cuz they're usually visibly angry all the time but whatev)
- Poe has squishy and fluffy cheeks (well, no shit on the latter) and always either gets annoyed or is grumpy whenever someone tries to squish them (yes, even to Simon, but it's even more to anyone else). When Simon first did this when they started dating, his heart just did around 15 flips in his chest, his tail straightened out, his stomach felt like 100 butterflies just hatched and started flying in there, but more importantly, he just broke on the spot when he saw the squished, fluffy, and grumpy face of his partner and froze in place as his face transformed into an even more darker shade of red. Just "SimonSmoke.Exe has stopped working" kinda broke.
Then, like 5 minutes after, Poe would just grow from grumpy and annoyed to slightly concerned about how unresponsive and unusually quiet Simon is being.
- Oh, their dynamic? Wooooo, it's a DOOZY. They're an absolute 'enemies-to (slight) acquaintances-to friends-to lovers' kinda dynamic + a bit of a slow burn too (cuz how would a pompous rich asshole dragon become friends-to-lovers with an emo, edgy, potentially-outcast raven at the drop of a hat?)
-Although in the relationship, Poe is more likely one side of the couple to keep to themselves and not really show any PDA, like anywhere, but Simon would hold up a megaphone to a crowd or even a rooftop to proudly shout "POE IS MY PARTNER AND I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!" And even shout smth at the end at how no one and nothing can do anything about it lol (But ofc, he'd wanna get Poe's approval to do it first, even if it may embarrass them halfway through the announcement)
And WOOOOOOOO THAT'S ALL THE HCS FROM ME HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!! :3333333 (...for now. :3c)
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some-pers0n · 5 months ago
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do you have any writing advice?? i LOVE your fics so much i cant comprehend how you’re so good at making them 😭😭
Awaw thank you!! And, as for advice? It's a bit tricky at times but generally here's some things I always recommend to people trying to write.
Read a lot. It's very unfortunate but you gotta be a good reader in order to be a good writer. I spent a lot of my time rewriting scenes from WoF cause either a) I thought they would be better had they gone another way or b) held a lot of appreciation for it. Of course not every writer is gonna wanna be a fanfic writer, but that's for me.
^ To follow this up, just generally try and read whatever interests you or you find to be fun. Your writing style is a mesh between styles you personally enjoy. Like I think it's kinda obvious to see Tui Sutherland's influences in my style, which, hey, makes sense given I've written so much. If you read, you'll also learn grammar and syntax, which is also quite important as well.
Write a lot. This too is quite unfortunate. There is no real trick or tip to instantly make your writing great. I had to get to this level after like four years of doing this. I didn't miraculously get this way lmao. You have to put in a lot of time and a lot of effort into getting here.
To go along with "read a lot" you also gotta develop a critical eye. Another thing that comes with practice sadly. This helps a lot with fanfic writing, but also with general character building, plot writing, etc and etc. Analyzing other stories and such. I mainly got my start by watching a TON of videos on Bojack Horseman and Arcane and their ways of character writing and storytelling.
For general writing advice channels? I'd recommend Hello Future Me and NEVER GO NEAR THOSE "Top 10 Writing Tips to Make Your Writing Instantly Better!! <33" CHANNELS. I jest, kinda. The advice those channels give are kinda basic surface level stuff that isn't bad at all, but I generally think it's better to understand why some stuff works better than others than to think that doing X, Y, and Z will instantly make your writing better. There is a lot of nuances with writing that is hard to define and you could be hindering yourself because some YouTuber said that audiences HATE it.
You can just go about your writing however you want honestly. When I was first starting out I felt pressured to make giant outlines, but I found them more daunting than helping. I personally work out my plot, characters, dialogue, etc and etc throughout my head through trial and error and seeing what works best. That's my way, but other people may cling to that outline. Other people may need cue cards and something akin to those bulletin boards with red string, connecting plots together. Whatever works best for you.
For more general stuff? For my fics I try to always analyze the characters I'm writing about as much as I can. Obviously my version of them will be different than canon, but I always find it best to understand what the character is at a fundamental level. Identify core characteristics. Why are they the way they are? What could have prompted them to say that? It's a lot of mental (or even physical) notetaking lol.
For more general and practical stuff, I used to like flipping on headphoes or putting in my earbuds and listening to ambience when it comes to more Out There locations. I also like pulling up pictures and trying to see how I'd go about describing it as a funky little practice for when I go and write it.
Lastly for this time? I'd say write and describe around things. Has an arrow plunged into the shoulder of a person? I'd describe the pain and such moreso in how the person reacts, with maybe one sentence dedicated to the actual pain and such. Emotions and such are a lot more relatable, and lines like "I pried his kneecaps off like a lid on a can of paint" hit a lot more if you're a little more generous with them.
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patamon · 2 years ago
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tagged by @komawo THANK YOU SM, I am soooo honoured to be included and I’m so sorry for the delays!!!! And omg of course you fit into the Tumblr community, I can’t believe you would even question this! 
hot or cold shower: hot shower, my self-care practice is to drench myself in a hot shower and question all my choices in life
texting or calling: calling, so I think working from home has really soured my attitude towards texting or any text-related form of communication like emails, chats, etc...I can’t begin to tally the time and energy wasted on the back-and-forths, the typos, the waiting for people to respond, the misinterpretations and misunderstandings, the passive aggressive tension...like honestly, just press the little phone icon on MS Teams and we can resolve this 3-day email chain in 10-minutes, it’s not that hard.
earbuds or headphones: earbuds, got my first Air Pods this year and I’m not going back!!! If you have an iPhone, nothing will make more sense than Air Pods, I promise you.
paperback or hardcover: paperback, there’s something very nostalgic about the feel of a paperback book in my hand. It takes me back to a simpler and more innocent time, where all your life’s toughest questions could be answered in a satisfying concluding chapter of the book you’ve been working through.
More below the cut (because this got kinda long lol)...
matte or gel: I have no idea what this is referring to but my mind went to nails…like gel nails or the….other type idk. So my answer is idk...
12 hr clock or 24 hr clock: 12 hour, 24-hour clock is too complicated for my brain
blue or green: blue, favourite colour 💙 Only reason why I picked Team Mystic in PoGo
sunsets or sunrises: I wish I could say both but am I ever up to actually see a sunrise? 🤣
tulips or orchids: orchids, I grew up with orchids all around me. Even now, there are orchids everywhere in our abode because my mother loves tending to them. It’s actually kinda cute to see her tend to her hobby.
candle light or moonlight: moonlight 🌝 not only is moonlight prettier, but it doesn’t stoke my anxiety and give me constant fear that everything in my home would be burned down lol
sci-fi or horror: sci-fi, me and my anxiety cannot handle horror anything, nope.
pen or pencil: pen, I WANT TO MARK THAT SHIT DOWN IN PERMANENCE! Plus, I love Muji pens
pandas or koalas: pandas, #teambamboo
gold or silver: gold, it pops more when I incorporate gold into any projects I’m working on, silver kinda blends into the background, unless I’m using a dark background but I rare use dark backgrounds.
sneakers or boots: sneakers, comfy and practical 😊
denim or leather jacket: neither because they’re both uncomfortable, but out of the two, I would say denim
pink or purple: pink, esp pastel pink
choco or sour candy: sour candy, I used to hate sour, but the older I get, the more I crave sour things. I don’t know what that means…am I Hydrogen ion deficient or something?
deodorant or perfume: perfume, deodorant makes my skin feel all weird. Maybe I’m allergic
drive-in theater or cinema: cinema, I do miss going to the movies. I haven’t been as often since COVID lockdown and would really like to go back on a regular basis. Also, I’ve never been to a drive-in theatre but imagine it would be too distracting with everything around me. I really want to immerse myself in the movie….that’s why I enjoy going to the cinema a lot
pastel blue or earth tones: pastel blue, favourite colour pt. 2 💙 💙
lemonade or fruit juice: lemonade, goes back to my sour thing
past or future: As cliché as it sounds, I do try my best to live in the present so…neither?
Tagging @tangledupblue, @digitalworldbound, @reliablejoukido, @sluggybasson107, @places-people, @ri-ships-takari, @stoppingtosmelltheflowers, @ahiddenpath, @tohjofalls, @animegenork
and anyone else who wants to do this!
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thetragicallynerdy · 2 years ago
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So I made it back to the gym for the first time in 4 (ish) years today! Hooray! For context, I used to powerlift pretty seriously, but got a bad concussion/brain injury 4-ish years ago and had to stop. While I still have a brain injury, I'm at a point where going back to the gym and trying to start lifting again (very lightly and slowly) feels okay.
I'm going to be doing a sort of journal on here, entirely for my own tracking/benefit, because I'm too lazy to journal things just for myself but will happily yeet it into the world. If you don't want to see this stuff and follow me, block #lifting . There's gonna be some technical stuff in here, feel free to ask questions as well if you want lol.
Some notes after today:
I'm doing stronglifts 5x5 - basically a very simple program of back squats/bench press/barbell rows on day 1, and bench press/deadlifts/overhead press on day 2. 5 sets of 5 reps for each lift, some stretching pre/post, and home.
I got in and out with stretching in just under an hour, which was the goal! I wanted to be able to stay an hour, and I did, which is rad.
Sensory wise the gym is a bit of a nightmare, but wearing a ballcap for light and noise canceling earbuds helped, as did going during the day when it's less busy. It's definitely busier during the day than it was pre-covid, possibly due to ppl working at home and being able to duck out. But I didn't have to wait for a rack/bench at all which was great.
I lifted really light - just the bar for all three lifts (45lbs for the uninitiated). I still came home with a pressure headache, which is definitely from doing actual lifting. It wasn't bad enough to not go, and has subsided to something really managable with rest and food, but something to watch for. I think I need to watch my breathing more too, especially on squats, because it's still instinctual to try and do the valsalva maneuver while doing a lift - which puts a ton of pressure on my head and is very unhelpful. Gotta breathe through the lift! I came home with some neck pain too, which I suspect is from rows.
Squats - definitely the worst on my head. (And by that I mean not 'mental game' but 'headache/brain injury wise'.) I did squats first, and next time I'll save them for last because I am 90% sure that's where most of the pressure headache came from. Moved well, though, much better than air squats at home do which is hilarious. I did low bar, which I think will be necessary for avoiding neck pain.
Bench - felt great. Bench is my weakest lift traditionally, but it was by far the easiest on my head - potentially due to the combo of stability from lying down during, and having a stable place to sit after, as well as less full body movement (which leads to less fatigue, etc). Might have to try sitting on the ground between squats instead of on the rack to see if that helps.
Barbell rows - eh. They were fine. Harder on my neck and lower back. A bit more of a struggle form-wise.
Weight wise - I think it's going to be a bit of a mental game to not push myself to lift more. Physically I can lift a lot more weight than my head can handle, as heavier lifts lead to more pressure on the head. Squats today felt super easy in terms of actually moving the weight, and so did bench. But having a disability means being really careful moving forward and adding weight to my lifts. Which sucks, and is something I'm probably going to be navigating feelings around for a while - I want to be able to do so much more than I can. Complicated grief even while returning to a beloved activity, etc etc.
There's also the aspect of "last time I was here I could lift several hundred pounds, and now I'm back down to the naked bar", which kind of feels shitty (even though I know why, and am super proud I'm back at the gym at all). I'm also aware of an aspect of it that's connected to like, being read as a woman at the gym, and expectations that women lift less. Which is weird, but an aspect of it.
Anyway - all told, it went good, about as well as I'd expected if not as easy as I'd hoped. I'm curious to see how deadlifts etc go when I go back (either later this week, or early next week - the goal is 1-2 times per week). I think that honestly even if it ends up that I can just do bench and some other upper body/seated stuff (there's a lot of machines, even if I prefer free weights), that would be better than the nothing I've been doing. I'm really glad I made it back, even though it feels like it's going to be a long slog to get anywhere close to where I used to be (which might not even happen). Anyway. Yay lifting! Yay being a gym bro again!
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purplesurveys · 2 years ago
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1635
Look out of the nearest window. What do you see? Details, please. I’m settled in bed and it’s too dark out to actually see anything, but I can tell you that the only things you’d be able to see are the neighbors’ houses (from my room you can see the houses to the left of and behind ours) and some trees.
When you think of the word “posh”, what springs to mind? The Spice Girls. > Okay, same!
When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? Well we have to put in the ref because otherwise it will melt and become all messy and a hassle to eat. We also can’t leave it out anyway because ants.
What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? There was a house in this neighborhood that got raided or something a few years back because of drug possession; even got featured on national TV. I didn’t care much for it and if anything the only reason I paid attention was the fact that the route we take going home was featured on the news LOL
Which brand are your headphones/earbuds? It’s a generic, unbranded pair. I lost the earbuds that came with my phone so I just opted for something cheap as I don’t usually use earphones anyway.
Do you see planes fly over your house at all? Yeah they come around fairly regularly.
Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? Just those three stars that are part of Orion but otherwise I’m not good at all at identifying constellations.
Which room of your house/apartment do you spend the most time in? Either my room or the dining area since we let the dogs roam around there.
Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Fireflies.
Did you have crafts/woodwork at school growing up? Nope.
If so, what was the best assignment you did for it? We never had it but we did do some fun things for home econ (although I didn’t find them fun at the time, ha) like sewing, crocheting, cooking, baking, etc.
Do you have a friend who likes to tell you everything? Yes, my best friends love sharing stories with me. Andi’s are usually about their adventures and annoyances in law school; Angela tells me about pretty much everything going on in her life.
What was the last thing you got very excited about? Jihope visiting Jin at the military gave me a level of happiness nobody would ever be able to understand. He looks so happy and healthy and well-fed :) You can go to any city in any country you want. Which city do you go to? SEOUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? No.
Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favourite? In the Seom. Thanks for reminding me! I’ll need to play it before bed so I can get a few levels up hahaha.
Is there a substance you avoid at all costs? If so, what is it and why? Hard drugs, for obvious reasons.
What would you absolutely hate living next door to? A family with a tantrum-prone toddler.
What would you love to live next door to? A household with ARMY or with lots of dogs. Or both!
What gives you nostalgia? Visiting UP.
When you think of a classy drink, what comes to mind first? Martinis.
Do you prefer eating out or cooking your own meals? Tbh neither; I like getting my food delivered. But if I had to exclusively pick between these two, I’d go with eating out.
Which language do you think is the most complicated to learn? Just about every single form of Chinese. Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese...just the way that the meaning of same-spelling words differ depending on the tone it’s said is already super overwhelming. It’s very fascinating.
Is there a place that you might call your second home? UP.
How do you imagine your later life to look like? Satisfaction with who I’ve grown up to become and ended up achieving, and lots of leisure traveling.
What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? Film production. I’ve participated at several video shoots for work and have dreaded every single fucking part of it. The early call times, set design changes, multiple takes...I’m just too impatient for it all.
Is there a piece of jewelry that you feel naked without? No.
Do you ever “go commando”? Rarely.
What’s the sweetest thing someone’s done for you? I have to go with the time Andi gave me a handwritten letter, a physical copy of Petals for Armor, and a CM Punk shirt for Christmas – in the same year. That was the lowest I’ve ever been, so it felt nice to have someone who apparently remembers everything I love.
Which wild animals are a common sight in your area? Just birds and frogs.
What’s the weirdest building in your city? The architecture is not weird per se, but we do have an abandoned Starbucks when you drive up the mountain part of the city. Apparenty the contractor or owner or whoever it is got caught up in permit issues and the store never actually launched, so now it just looks like a sad, lonely Starbucks overlooking the Metro Manila skyline.
How do you keep in touch with friends usually? Messenger. All other messaging platforms are reserved for work, so I don’t like talking to friends on those because it makes me more stressed than anything.
Do you get a lot of visitors? Nah, my friends and I get together at home usually only when there’s a BTS thing happening...so safe to say we’re not getting any of these sessions any time soon, at least until 2025 or 2026.
Is there a subtle way your partner gets you excited easily? I don’t have a partner.
Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? Not me but the dogs are excellent at identifying when my mom’s about to arrive back home.
Which Disney villain is your favourite? I don’t really have a favorite Disney villain. Non-Disney villains on the other hand...Gus Fring will always have a special place in my ever-cold heart.
On a regular day, what do you usually do at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? Neck-deep in work.
Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? Clothes. Secondhand clothing makes me feel icky for some reason.
What is something you would never dare to do in public? Uhm...masturbate, I guess??
Would you/ did you have a hen night/bachelorette party? Sure, if I reach that point.
Has anyone taken you on holiday somewhere? If so, where? No. When you left the house last time, where did you go? Just church. Went home right after as all of us were feeling pretty tired.
How did you spend your last birthday? Filed a leave off work and sat on the couch all day until I took my family out for a ramen dinner. Then that same weekend, my friends and I went to Zambales for a quick beach vacation.
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lolly-pop456 · 1 year ago
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1. Steven Universe, Spy X Family, and that new sonic one that I can’t remember the name of lol
2. They’re purple and a bit taller than my usual ankle socks. They also have lil sushi’s on them too.
3. I adore smoothies of any kind
4. Depending on the occasion and season it’s usually a semi formal dress or a nicer shirt with dark pants.
5. Over medium
6. A group of bookmarks I’ve collected over the years. Rn I’m using a tarot card that just described the deck.
7. Black probably. It goes with lots of things.
8. Other than books and movies I like older hats. They look very cool and interesting to me and make fun decorations.
9. The ocean for both. Even though I never grew up by it I just find it very soothing to me for some reason.
10. Colors. They can represent more than what someone is telling me to think (aka lyric questions).
11. Glasses. Eyes are too sensitive for contacts.
12. That she’s big and not shy about it since she can’t help her weight for the most part.
13. Pencil. I’m a fast writer so I make a lot of mistakes usually.
14. My back porch or backyard in general. It doesn’t face anything but the trees so it feels very private and uniquely mine.
15. Only one since my wife and I are too forgetful to have more lol. And maybe? It’s technically my wife’s but she forgets about it all the time… poor lil cactus.
16. A very oversized dark grey one with a family friend’s tattoo company logo on it. I got it on sale as it was the last one and not selling well, I like it because it makes me feel small.
17. Like five books hahaha… all from different series that I have one or two of on my shelf already.
18. When they discovered Tenochtitlan. Experiencing the wonder they experienced while first seeing the city would be amazing.
19. I dressed up as a spunky dark fairy once and loved the hell out of it despite having to wear a winter coat.
20. Algebra.
21. Uhh.. I think it’s called Starry Night Over the Rhine? It’s by Van Gogh and basically like that famous stars one but a different perspective I guess.
22. Iced.
23. Love songs. Idk why they’re just the easiest for me to sing.
24. Perhaps too aggressive at times but I’d like to think so. I at least use my blinker.
25. Yep. I want lots more tattoos and my nipples pierced.
26. More so a cook than a baker though I guess I could bake if I focused more. Don’t really have a specialty unless making a family recipe is one lol.
27. Just one amethyst skull, it’s got some creamy white lines and it’s supposed to be a good stone for protection.
28. Oh yeah. I definitely do, been called a mermaid most of my life as a joke.
29. Nope.
30. Yeah. I hang my shirts to the far left, then pants, then like: seasonals and fancy stuff. Then hoodies and bras.
31. Nails, hair, hips I think.
32. One of those iridescent rainbow looks 😍.
33. Earbuds.
34. Easily.
35. When I was little my favorite was a pink dog with a heart nose named Valentine. He went EVERYWHERE with me but uhh… at some point I became convinced he was haunted by something. That’s a story for another time if anyone’s curious.
36. Air hockey.
37. As long as they’re respectful of my space and let me know if they’re behind me.
38. I really like classical piano pieces actually. They really soothe me and not many people would guess that about me probably.
39. Realizing I didn’t sleep until 7pm lmao.
40. Apple. They hold lots of fond childhood memories for me.
41. Black pepper and rose.
42. A few. I think my favorite is the pixel coloring one, since it lets you upload your own photos to draw.
43. On. Fear of the dark is really a bitch.
44. Put it in my Toothless piggy bank.
45. No hahaha. I wrote too hard and fast usually, and even if I slow down it looks like a young kids.
46. I think a band? That or a podcast.
47. When the weather is nice.
48. I mean… I prefer plastic over porcelain but that’s about it.
49. Read a good book.
50. The air is cold but not freezing, indirect air is being pushed in from the ac with a slight hum. Silky sheets and pillow cases with a light fuzzy blanket that’s big enough to keep me underneath despite me tossing and turning. Also a body pillow with a stuffed animal to cuddle.
50 Questions Just Because
What are three shows in your watchlist that you’ve been meaning to get to?
Describe your favorite pair of socks
Do you like smoothies?
What do you wear when you have to dress nicely?
How do you like your eggs?
What do you use to keep your place when you’re reading a book?
What color dominates your closet?
Do you collect anything? If so, what?
What sounds or scents calm you down?
What’s your favorite kind of uquiz question? (Lyric, color, aesthetic, etc)
Do you wear glasses or contacts?
What’s something about your best friend that you love?
Do you prefer to write in pen or pencil?
What are some places where you feel most at home?
Do you have any houseplants? Do any of them have names?
Describe your favorite hoodie. How long have you had it? What makes it unique?
What’s the last thing you ordered online?
What’s one historical event that you would have liked to have witnessed?
What’s your favorite Halloween costume from when you were a kid?
What kind of math are you best at?
What’s your favorite period in art history, your favorite famous work and/or your favorite style of art? If you don’t know any that’s ok!
Iced or hot drinks?
Which songs do you like to sing in the shower?
Are you a good driver?
Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Are there any that you want?
Can you cook or bake? If so, what are some of your specialties?
Do you have any keychains on your home or car keys? Describe them!
Can you swim very well? Do you like swimming?
Did you play with Legos as a kid? What was your favorite set?
Is your closet organized? If so, how?
What’s the last music video you watched?
If you could dye your hair any color, regardless of how you think it would look, what color would you choose?
Headphones or earbuds?
Can you read analog clocks?
Describe your favorite stuffed animal, either now or from when you were a kid.
What’s an arcade or table game (air hockey, ping pong, etc) that you’re really good at?
Do you mind if others are in the kitchen when you’re cooking or baking?
What’s one show you watch or musician you listen to that your friends know nothing about?
What was the best part of your day today?
What’s your favorite kind of tree?
What scent is your deodorant?
Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?
Do you shower with the lights on or off?
What do you do with spare change?
Do you have good handwriting?
What’s the last thing a friend recommended to you that you looked into and actually liked?
Do you like to go on walks?
Do you have a favorite plate or bowl?
What’s your favorite thing to do when it’s raining?
Describe your perfect sleeping conditions
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the-davos-den · 2 years ago
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January 13th, 2023 was possibly one of the worst days of my life. I had, maybe for the first time ever, a full blown panic attack at work.
A bit of background. I live with my parents, and I’m nearly 30 years old. I have a job that I reasonably like. Short version is that I do engineering work. About a month and a half or so ago a new girl started working at my job. For the sake of anonymity, let’s call her Diane. Over the course of her starting out here I have gotten to know Diane a bit better and better, and I’m fairly certain that I have officially developed some kind of crush on her. We have some similar interests, and I don’t think she hates being around me yet, so good things all around lol.
Friday the 13th. I was having lunch in the lunch room, while Diane, another person, and a different engineer (let’s call him Jack). This other person was talking to Diane about her apartment, and so they and Jack were all talking about apartment stuff. I had nothing to add because I don’t live in an apartment. Eventually, the another person left and it was just Jack and Diane talking about their apartment struggles. To anyone else, this was innocent conversation. To me, it was some bizarro mirror/window. Because what I saw was a guy who is basically me but better in every conceivable manner (also likes relatively similar stuff to Diane, but is smarter, more attractive, living on his own, more physically fit, and on and on). All he would have to do is pursue her and I would be out. I don’t know the sexual orientations of either so it’s just as possible that neither of us have a chance or that I don’t actually have a competitor. This whole conversation lasted no more than like, 2-3 minutes, but it infected my head and wouldn’t leave. My lunch break was over so I had left and they were chatting still, but all of my shortcomings and insecurities were screaming in my head. I couldn’t stop it. I tried playing music through my headset and it wouldn’t stop.
I literally left my desk and walked to a relatively secluded room and hyperventilated. Probably not the best room to do that in with all of the wood and metal shavings from the various drill presses and laser cutters and whatnot lmao, but still. When I got back to my desk, I tried listening to the music again, I tried distracting myself with my phone, I even tried talking to people INCLUDING (separately) Jack and Diane, and none of it helped. Finally, the work day ended and I was able to go home. After having dinner with my parents and putting the dishes away, I went to my room.
I have this song that I listen to when I need to relax, Untitled by The Green Kingdom. I grabbed my gaming headset, and plugged in my new 3.5mm to Lightning converter, and my phone all together. I had gotten that converter because with my old one I was hearing this weird clicking sound in my headset in this configuration. When I went to play my song, I heard the clicking again (implying that it wasn’t that converter), and I completely lost it.
I started basically bawling in my room, saying “I just want to listen to my song” while I tried to find my earbuds. I got them and just started rocking in my chair. I tried holding onto my phone, but the screen kept turning on. I then grabbed my controller, but the plastic felt too hard. I finally grabbed my Metroid plushie, and held it tight. I spent the next like 20 or so minutes just crying, rocking in my chair, holding that plushie, and listening to my song on repeat. I couldn’t stop. I had to try to be quiet because I didn’t want my parents to see me like that. Eventually I got a bit calmer, and put on some tv that I knew I would enjoy. Then I was able to get into the scheduled video gaming that I had for that night, and things were getting a bit better. Despite feeling a bit better, I went to bed that night thinking that that was one of the worst days I have ever had.
Today, Saturday the 14th, I woke up to my alarm (I changed my alarm to wake me up every day so that I could try to maintain a better sleep cycle), and was still feeling bad from the day before. I was taking my morning shower, and the bad thoughts creeped in again. Telling me that I am worthless, telling me that I could never get a girl like Diane, telling me that I would legitimately benefit the world by just discontinuing my existence. But then, I got mad. I got furious. How dare I. “What right do I have to say I don’t deserve to continue living”. I thought about how I am in control. My will is iron. I will not let some chickenshit partition of my subconscious tell me that I am anything less than. I told myself that I will make it right. I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I deserve to live and that I WILL earn the right to be happy.
As of today, I am on mission. I have but one goal; to be the best possible me that I can achieve. Maybe that means I have to bury my old self six feet under, but I will not let these bad thoughts win. My will is iron. This blog will serve as my journal; a diary logging my journey to becoming who I need to be. Maybe it is too late for me to do that, but I have to try. I will survive. I will win.
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marimo-o · 3 years ago
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love having my first full on meltdown in months because my mom discounted me asserting my needs in favor of "we need to do this for Family Reasons" (it was a baby shower full of people I either don't know/don't know me and all of whom ignored me except for when they were outside on a smoke break sometimes) or "for [stepdad]" (because it's his family). like u realize your kid having to put socks on his doorknobs and use a rubber glove to change clothes isn't normal right
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mylifeisweirdok · 2 years ago
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Hello hi yes a moot (@dnpanimationstudioclone) and i have been rewriting our own versions of Valerie from danny phantom (does this surprise you? It shouldn't lol) so without further ado 🥁🥁
Valerie Rewrite
To start the hcs, her suit don't slim her out no more, shes got a full on body builder body, let her show it. She could've started weightlifting at first to help with rubble as Red, but later found it to be a good stress reliever. Shes competed in competitions and placed. Prefers the snatch events to the clean and jerk events, as snatch events resemble rubble more than the c&j.
At her first competition, she accidentally floundered her c&j move, costing her points (?), but an older lifter saw and gave her some tips; at her second competition she placed 3rd.
Extreme gym rat, sometimes moreso than sam. Like, she has so much protein powder. There's a cabinet in the kitchen purely for her shakers and powders.
When she can't sleep she exercises.
Prefers sweet to spicy but will have her moments when savory just Hits Different
Loves emotional music, anything that makes her feel will be put in one of her playlists. It doesn't have to be good music, just music that can feel good. She always has earbuds in when shes in her civies, or a speaker going.
Doesn't play many video games but likes puzzles. Cross words, actual puzzles, rubix cubes. Things that make her think but not too much.
Has not only a nightly skin routine but a morning one. Sticks to these fairly well, also prefers korean skincare to american
Also, she needs a character arc.
Canon freshman val is extremely bitter, v hypocritical, fairly rude and overall mean.
Barring phantom planet from existence, lets say there's a bbeg that comes in early sophomore year that forces her to realize who rude she became after her dad lost his job, even before as a A lister
She reevaluates how she's interacted with the trio, specifically sam
Internally she's freaking out, cause the few people who treated her normal and loosely tolerated with her anti ghost propaganda she had treated like shit
She withdrawals for a few days, causing danny (the bloody hearted fool) to seek her out, where they don't have a come to jesus per say, more like a small slap by reality
Sam and tuck show up near the end of the convo, and ask her if she wants to change. This is her official first step to being a nicer human
From there, she starts treating the underlings nicer (finally puts Nathan in his place and calling him out on being a lowkey stalker). She briefly defends a few students from dash, also calling him out. Danny asks her to leave him n dash alone however, cause if the bully has no outlet he will explode (and it'll protect the students, adding to his Big O). She reluctantly does.
After they graduate high school, before sam starts train hopping, the quartet regularly meets up to haunt (ha) a few known teenager places. The nasty burger can only be eaten so many times when you have 3 very picky eaters. They explore abandoned buildings on the outskirts of town for fun not ghosts. They poke around the gas stations and alleyway shops. Since amity has such a low crime rate, shops are more open to stragglers and alleyways offer good temporary places for food carts
A few months after the reality slap, the hair incident as it is dubbed, occurs. So val and danny are fighting bbeg # whatever, and she gets hit in the back, and since shes tired the nanobots in her suit have to leave it. Later on in the fight, she dodges another blast, but since the hole in the suit is there, her hair is kinda out hanging and a good chunk is melted and hit. She doesnt realize until the battle is over, when she's back home and sees a mirror. Sam finds her a few hours later while she's having a mini breakdown, cause her hair was a big part of her emotionally, it took a long time to grow out that far. Sam helps her calm down, offers tuck and his mom to help care for whats left. While val is cleaning up, sam texts tuck and gets them ready for an emergency braid sesh. They finish her braids late in the night so the girls sleep over (thank goodness for weekends) and then the next day they all wake up and decide to do a self care day to take care of their skin n whatnot after the stressful yesterday. They even finagle danny into it (cause hes the worst at taking care of himself) and this establishes her trust in the trio after a shakey past relationship.
Trust has officially been built.
From here, danny pulls her into the group not taking no for an answer. She is used as a meat vs veg referee multiple times before calling them out on their bullshit and they also realize its time to grow up partially
She continues to grow into a well rounded individual who extends an olive branch to everyone, but has a lighter at the ready whenever. She sought to meet everyone in her grade. This helped her many times; a band kid covered for her while a ghost attacked the school, the nerds helped her with homework. When they graduated high school, she'll encounter people on the street and strike up a conversation. This doesn't mean she remembers their names, she absolutely sucks with names but will remember the brand of x product they're allergic to they mentioned once.
Before the end of her arc, (think 3/4) val ends up trusting the quartet enough to tell them she's red, and they have to tell her about phantom. After this convo she feels extremely betrayed cause they know how hard she's been working towards being more civil and they just didn't tell her she had been actively hunting and hurting a close friend. Not only that, she's betrayed cause they didn't trust her with the information prior, and they were right not to. She becomes withdrawn and only after a not-so-big-bbeg comes through forcing them to work together that she sits down and talks through her emotions with them.
What if when shes doing her character arc, she realizes Red doesn't have to be all fighter, she can use Red to start up a sense of community. So as Red, she starts helping out homeless folk and strays, maybe fills in a pothole or two; enough for the general population to start leaning towards community work too. Publicity for Red has never been higher, and more n more community spaces pop up.
After her stunt filling up some potholes, she's approached by various community members to help with various tasks; she helps clean up a playground, she helps install some sculptures, she promotes a soup kitchen. After a while, a reporter approaches her and does an interview, starting her media face. Realizing she needs a pr team but cant have one she opts to study communications and Becomes her own pr team.
Once shes officially grown, as Red shes more likely to ask questions than shoot, but still is less than pleased with ghosties. Red becomes more personable to the public, becoming a reliable ghost hunter and eventually starts doing press conferences after big fights. Still a vigilante but now has a social media account on the big ones (twitter, tiktok, and instagram) but also on amity's app, Amity Undead/"you've been ghosted." The app is similar in setup to twitter and tumblr mobile, however the og function was to send out ghost warnings, so like the "home" page is mainly the fentons phantom and red all giving alerts. The next page is like sightings of non harmful ghosts, the page after is the social part. Since red and phantom were part of the og posters, they have a decent sized following each and regularly do collabs when things calm down enough.
Eventually, she has to come to terms with how she treated Danny as phantom while they dated, making her look into herself (specifically her sexuality). While trying to accept her actions, she realizes shes part cupioromatic, and she immediately goes to sam about it, who shows her its ok to be that way. Sam and Val research it together and help val come to terms with it (remember, this is illinois in the early 2000s anyone who ain't hetero is gonna have Some internalized homophobia)
Speaking of, how does the quartet get together? Well, it starts once val started her arc, and they all grow closer. Fighting the world with each other tends to make you a bit closer. Once they graduate, val and danny attend college online, while tuck and sam forgo it all together. Tucker already has a name for himself in the back walls, (a hc black market online for tech) so he just uses that to make the bulk of his money, putting up a front of creating a small coding firm for the IRS (cause ain't nobody sane gonna mess with them). Sam does her thing with finding train hopping, and at age 19 leaves Amity Park to grow.
Since Val and Danny both attend college (val in communications, danny in engineering and precise machinery) they hang out often, using each other as a study buddy to create a somewhat schedule for themselves. Further on in their college career, they realize they're Extremely close, and Val has to tell Danny about being cupio. He takes it as  well as sam, and shows her its ok to be lgbtq; he himself is pan afterall. Val decides to tell tucker, since sam and danny both know now, and he also supports her, stating that he's loosely bi but prefers no label, just that he likes who he likes. This prompts the three of them to all look at how they've all interacted in the past, and realize that all three want to date the others (in varying degrees, in d&v's cases) so the next time sam is in town, they all decide to talk about it in tucker's apartment.
Its a bit of a confusing process that changes a handful of times, but eventually lands on t romantically dating all 3, d romantically dating s&t and platonically dating v, s romantically dating d&t and platonically dating v, and v platonically dating d&s and romantically dating t. It takes them a while to get used to this arrangement, more than a few rough patches to realize communication is Key, but once they settle they realize they could've never come up with a better solution.
Queen Dorothea comes by eventually to congratulate the four of them and offer to make their union bands, a ghosty version of marriage. Its traditionally taken up by the siblings of the union holders, but since v&s&t are all only children, dora and jazz have a blast designing them.
Danny and Val want rings, danny a thinner black band that has a more gothic tone, with black and green zone stones. Val has a thicker band has the black stones of danny's ring but with a dark grey metal holding them in place with fleur de lis embellishments along the band. (Kinda like this:)
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Sam and Tucker opt for bracelets instead. Sam has a bunch of layered zone-bark braided bracelets, one for each of them-danny's has star charms and black zone gems, val's has miniature baptisma flower charms and a muted red center stone, tuck's has mini acacia leaf charms with zone stones that colors "glitch" in earth light, and her own was braided in a pattern that looks like train tracks with a charm from each of theirs plus one for her: a hebrew script saying home. Tucker's bracelets are 2 gold wristlets, each inscribed with a symbol for each of them, inlaid with gemstones and covered in mini hieroglyphs describing each of his union-partners. Sam's symbol is a thorny vine which is intertwined with Val's baptisma sprigs, danny's is a star rising above the horizon that is the girls' vines. (Again, kinda like these but use your imagination)
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When Val and Danny graduate, the quartet go on a "honeymoon" ei they go to the ghost zone to explore. Val is extremely off put by the idea but says nothing, letting her partners enjoy their time. This comes to light when they visit dora, who approaches her while the other three are off doing something Ghostly and val confides. Dora snitches, saying her brother would never allow his partner to be uncomfortable. Big feelings come out. The trio realize their mistake and offer to cut it short, but val says she'd rather continue going through the zone meeting Danny's entourage. They take val through a much safer than originally planned route, showing val the great calm and peaceful parts of the zone, and val finally understands why the others like it so much. When they make it back to earth red appears much more ghost friendly, still a fierce protector but more empathetic to the regulars and the non threatening ghosts.
They all move in together about a year after the college graduation, each of them saving up enough to help with the deposit on the house. Tucker still covers almost all of the bills, but danny (and later sam) covers groceries and the like. Val does most of the chores since she doesn't have a job other than Red.
She enforces self care weekends on the rest of her quad once they all get together properly.
Is the second best cook but the best baker. Like previously stated, she's got a sweeth tooth so sugary beetles chase after her lol
The only one of the quartet who can legally drive. Tucker failed his test too many times, danny doesn't need it, Sam didn't need it before she left and has too much going on after she came back and recovered, so Val took it up.
Her room is the second biggest and the only one on the main floor of the house, cause the rest of the quartet couldn't handle listening to her midnight exercising sessions. She has display cases for all her trophies from weight lifting and karate, fake vines on her ceiling, a closet without doors, and lots of quilts. More quilts than blankets. No she cannot sew; for the life of her she can't.
Not all of her equipment fits in her room, so she has a small portion of the garage dedicated to her bigger weights and mats and whatnot.
Once she went to state competition and took Tucker with her; they were both approached by a very pretty person and both struggled™️ when flirted to directly to their face (pre union). Val went on to tie with said pretty person while lifting and had to do an extra event to split it, they ended up doing some weird flexible one and Val won because of her time as Red. Afterwards pretty person gave val their number and they're still good friends to this day and get a meal together if they go to the same competition.
Eventually her suit is redesigned once more. The suit is red until the bust, where it begins to be a black taper that encircles her waist and up, with extremely understated black vines along the outer seams that become red at the color change, so understated it's just bold lines from the public's view until you get really close. It has sharper lines across the face and visor, and the gloves have reinforced knuckles to have the ability to punch ghosts. The suit also adds miniature embossings, looking a bit like explosions. Her board also gets a touch up, becoming longer and wider so she can sit on it in the sky on slow days.
As her arc progressed, she would incorporate more beads and fun touches to her hair, eventually using wooden beads in a nice mid length braided style.
(https://pin.it/4bDwG9N)
In her civvies, as Val, her fashion sense drastically changes. I hesitate to use the term bohemian cause its just romani culture (which is closed practice i think?) but i feel like she would like the free flowing and flowers of that fashion niche, so once she and sam get their heads together and research it properly, val ends up buying romani inspired clothes from romanian companies that are sustainable. Her fashion style is rather mixed beforehand, very athletic with arty elements before settling. She still throws in her own elements, artsy and hippie stuff here n there, athletic stuff occasionally. She has an eye for making them clash in a good way.
Don't let her fashion choices fool you though, she is fierce when crossed and is quick to burn bridges. Even after her arc she is a bit hot headed, but friendly enough to the general population.
While Red and in her mid 30s, a bbeg comes through and wrecks havoc; danny comes in and saves the day but val gets hurt Badly. A civilian finds her and gets her to the hospital, where she is unmasked. Afterwards, their house is barraged with reporters aiming for an interview. Sam has to threaten charges for them to leave. After it calms down for a bit, the public mostly is okay with her being Red; some people still give negative backlash against her being there but its not like they can stop her.
After recovering partially, she's out on a brief patrol when a ghost with meh powers comes through trying to cause chaos. Sam came with her, so they face it off together, before being sucked into the thermos the ghost does end up cursing Sam to be "a dreaded creature of night" aka a vamp. However, with meh powers comes meh curses; she ends up with slightly sharper teeth, an aversion to garlic, the craving for iron and coconut milk, and slightly stronger and faster reflexes. Val blames herself a lil bit for this but Sam honestly finds it pretty cool. Val buys sam her first iron fish to boil to bring up her iron content.
Thats all for now, I forgot to grab photos of my val redraw so early tomorrow after work I'll snag those.
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trappedinacomputer · 5 months ago
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YIPPEE
📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?
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Literally just the default one from when I first got it lol
🍫 Cheese or Chocolate?
- Both of them hurt me, I am lactose intolerant and allergic to chocolate. That's never stopped me tho, chocolate.
✨ Do you have any nicknames?
- I go by Trapped in just about every situation.
🎵 Last song you listened to?
- Life Worth Missing by Car Seat Headrest
✏️ Have you ever wrote fanfiction?
- Yes, however it's been a while.
😏 Are you on Discord?
- Yes, however I hardly check it because I don't have time recently.
💛 Do you have any piercings?
- Yes, just one on each lobe right now but I plan on getting an eyebrow bar.
🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?
- How they treat animals and restaurant workers.
🍪 If you were a cookie what would you be?
- Oatmeal Raisin because they're my favorite (I KNOW IM A FREAK, SUE ME /lh)
🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?
- a dog person mainly because I'm allergic to cats, however if I wasn't allergic id absolutely be a cat person
🎧 Headphones or earbuds?
- earbuds, I am desperately trying to avoid the head dent lol
🌼 What was the last thing you said out loud?
- Spaghetti, no you will not be getting context
🙃 What's a weird fact you know?
- Beavers have orange teeth because they have a lot of iron in them and they basically oxidize
🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?
- definitely a night owl, I do not wake up good, I refuse to speak for at least 3 hours lol
🧸 Favorite place to nap?
- my bed, why would I be anywhere else? I'm past the point in my life where I slept in a fireplace (that is an actual Trapped fact)
🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?
- yup, the frogs got me
🦋 Describe yourself in 3 words
- Tired, Anxious, Goldfish
👖 Jeans or Sweatpants?
- Sweatpants, I like being comfy
🥤 What's your go-to Starbucks order?
- I don't go to Starbucks, BOYCOTT
🧡 What's a color you can't stand?
- any colors themselves? None. HOWEVER I hate that chartreuse is a green but the word sounds like a purple-y pink
💎 What's your most prized possession?
- I don't think I have any of those
☕ Coffee or tea?
- Coffee even though I can't really have it anymore but also sweet iced tea, because southern 🤠
🦖 Favorite extinct animal?
- Brachiosaurus (most feared extinct animal is a Tasmanian Tiger, look up how wide they can open their mouths, that shit is scary)
🌙 How long have you been on Tumblr?
- I was here in 2013-3014 but left and came back sometime last year
🌴 Desert island item?
- maybe rope or a flare gun
🐸 Describe your aesthetic.
- wanna be punk but mostly looks like I've given up on life.
🔮 What's your dream job?
- I think I'd want to be a carpenter, I like doing things with my hands
💙 Relationship status?
- very single
🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.
- I don't have many clothes, probably my ACDC pullover hoodie and pajama pants lol
🎤 Is there any song you know all the lyrics to?
- All the songs I've ever listened to frequently at any point in life
🤎 What color is your hair?
- Dark brown
💌 Do you talk to yourself?
- yes, when I think I need to move my mouth sometimes
💄 Do you wear makeup?
- no, I hate the feeling of things on my face
🌸 Best compliment you ever received?
- 1) My sister complimented my dimples in a way that almost made me cry /pos when we were younger
2) that I have "scary dog privileges" vibes lol
Tagging @alchemicaladarna and whoever wishes to join
I'm gonna go take a nap now lol
~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~
📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?
🍫 Cheese or chocolate?
✨ Do you have any nicknames?
🎵 Last song you listened to?
✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?
😏 Are you on discord?
 💛 Do you have any piercings?
🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?
🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?
🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?
🎧 Headphones or earbuds?
🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?
🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?
🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?
🧸 Favorite place to nap?
🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?
🦋 Describe yourself in three words.
👖 Jeans or sweatpants?
🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?
🧡 A color you can’t stand?
💎 What’s your most prized possession?
☕ Coffee or tea?
🦖 Favorite extinct animal?
🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?
🌴 Desert island item?
🐸 Describe your aesthetic.
🔮 What’s your dream job?
💙 Relationship status?
🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.
🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?
🤎 What color is your hair?
💌 Do you talk to yourself?
💄 Do you wear makeup?
🌸 Best compliment you ever received?
💞 @ your favorite blog.
Reblogs are appreciated!
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burnedbyshoto · 4 years ago
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hawks_littledove.mp3
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— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.
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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader
warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks
word count: 5,018
a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.
kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist
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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.
That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.
It started as a mild obsession.
You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.
The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.
⇒ grey fullbuster x reader
The obsession grew worse.
So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.
Hawks Fierce Wings
It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.
It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.
Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.
The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.
“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no!
For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.
The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.
Oh my god?!
It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.
Oh, motherfucking shit.
Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos. 
Each one was different.
Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob. 
You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.
The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.
And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.
It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.
You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created. 
There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.
It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all. 
But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.
The very first video was of the following:
Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.
After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.
There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.
You had to take a break five times during that audio.
Eventually, you do end up catching up.
Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.
Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.
A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!
You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.
i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri
He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.
You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.
But, oh?
Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.
Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.
listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦
You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.
Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:
Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything
A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands. 
Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties
And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.
.
..
.
Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.
At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part. 
Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.
But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed. 
To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.
Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.
You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.
But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week. 
The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.
Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.
Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.
Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?
Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?
Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio
Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’
Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out
He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.
You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.
And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.
Hawks: do u have earbuds?
Me: Yes?
Hawks: good put them on n pick up
The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.
Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.
Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit
[Accept]
You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.
“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.
“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head. 
“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”
“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”
“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”
“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”
“But, you picked up my call?”
“You said, or else!”
“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”
Your jaw drops.
It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.
“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”
“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”
“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”
“O-Oh my god…”
“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”
Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end. 
“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.
You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”
“Louder.”
“I’d be so lucky.”
“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”
“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.
“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”
You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.
“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”
“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.
Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.
“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.
“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”
Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.
“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”
“That’s not true!”
“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”
You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.
“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”
The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.
“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught. 
“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”
“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”
“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”
“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.
“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.
You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.
“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”
Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks. 
“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum. 
“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”
“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core. 
“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.
“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”
“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”
“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.
Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.
Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air. 
“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”
“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”
Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.
When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.
Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime  call me 03-9183-2495 ;)
2K notes · View notes
haik-choo · 4 years ago
Text
karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o
request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?
a/n: this is such a cute little concept i -- 
[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]
-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi
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tsukishima kei.
not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos
occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets
so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses
wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself
tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there
as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours
he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu
is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare
eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3
pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying
“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”
secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it
tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you
you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic 
convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones
tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you” 
all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with 
kageyama tobio.
"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”
kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL
honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL) 
only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out
doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL
he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything
“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”
“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”
acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars
he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though
you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)
you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night
kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person
he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind
plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you
despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe
all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you 
yamaguchi tadashi.
is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone
sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”
he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence
despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive 
also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell
he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman
lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens 
joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation
sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger 
also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while
when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot
and damn, he’s right
it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on 
pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG 
is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you
you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what. 
yamaguchi: ...because i love you?
you: *K.O*
all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3 
hinata shoyo.
is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between
but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA
literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top 
“i came in my pjs”
“i see that.”
asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour 
he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting 
has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given
so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around
you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads) 
you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)
after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple
you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night
he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone
he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost 
he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself
that he really will marry you one day
all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream
yachi hitoka.
another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day
when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes
you: good. i’m outside your door btw
yachi: i never had a choice did i
you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you
jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself
instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say
so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods
she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late
and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie
awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours
canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise 
her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?
you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home 
and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers
does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3
you: stop. please. im going to die.
when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside
video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely 
all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks      
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krreader · 4 years ago
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BTS scenario → proposing to you in the least romantic situations.
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pairing: bts x reader fandom: bts warnings: language ; mentions of sex  genre: fluff  word count: 2.8k+
a/n: hiiii my love @franseza​, I love you too and I really hope you like your request ♥ (also, let’s all ignore that they’re actually holding up earbuds okay? I unfortunately do not have gifs where the propose with an actual ring lol)
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kim seokjin
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The perfect moment.
The proposal had to be the perfect moment that he had been planning for literally five months now... only for it to get ruined when your connecting flight got canceled and you and Jin were stuck in a hotel of a country that he hadn't booked an entire restaurant in for his plan to start off. Where he hadn't specifically instructed the chef to cook your favorite meal. Where he hadn't specifically asked the hotel to prepare a romantic room for you two to arrive in with rose petals on the floor and candles all around for him to propose to you.
Now, you were lying in bed, eating potato chips while watching a program on TV that you didn't understand the language of and Jin just watched you with a heavy sigh.
“Oh, there you are!” you slid to the edge of the bed and grabbed his hand when he finally stood in the bedroom, pulling him down next to you, “I have no idea what's going on in that show, but I think that woman is pregnant and the father is her sister’s husband!”
“Aren't you upset?” Jin watched you with furrowed eyebrows.
It was only then that you realized that he was.
“Babe,” you put the potato chips away, cleaned your hands and then grabbed his, “I don't care where we are for vacation. What matters most to me is that we can finally spend some time with each other without you having to worry about work. What matters most to me is being here with you.”
He hadn't thought about it this way. That 'perfect scenario' in his head had kept him from seeing what really was important.
You and him. Together.
“Well, in that case..-”
And so Jin proposed to you that night, in a hotel room of a hotel that Jin would normally not stay in anymore, with a stupid TV show on in the background and loud noises of cars downstairs.
But it didn't matter to you. What mattered to you was him kneeling there in front of you and asking you to marry him because he loved you just so fucking much.
You joined him on the floor once and kissed him deeply, so deeply that the two of you tumbled backwards, now chuckling as Jin was pushing the ring on your finger.
It was perfect after all.
min yoongi
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The reason why this whole long distance relationship thing had worked so well in the past, was because Yoongi was so busy with work anyways, that he wasn't sure if he could fit 'proper' dates into his schedule. FaceTime dates and late night calls – when it was earlier for you – were the perfect recipe for your perfect relationship.
And you had been quite busy yourself when you had started dating him, were busy with getting your degree and were glad that you could still focus properly on it and not have to worry about whether you could make time for him.
But it's been years now and Yoongi wasn't who he was when he first started dating you.
Seeing you only a handful of times per year wasn't enough for him anymore. He wanted you to be with him. 
Fully be with him.
And.. more than that.
“Tell me what you're thinking about,” you said with a yawn.
“Just... us,” his smile was soft as he watched you try and keep your eyes open since the time difference was once again your biggest enemy.
“Yeah? In what way?”
“In a “I want to marry you so badly so that you will finally come and live with me and we can see each other every single day for the rest of our lives” way,” it was so blunt, it was so unromantic, yet at the same time, it was perfect.
In hindsight.
Because in that moment, you simply laughed, “Ooooh, I like that thought. Where's my ring then, dear husband?”
Yoongi looked at you for a few seconds, then he got up, walked over to his desk and went back with a ring box, opening it and holding it into the camera.
That finally got your attention, you sitting up straight in an instant.
“Come and get it princess,” he said with a smirk.
jung hoseok
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You and Hoseok have been dating for years and even after all this time, sex with him never became dull.
Today, in fact, you've been doing nothing other than lying in bed, watching Netflix and doing each other. Again and again.
It was the perfect day off.
And he made it even more perfect when he ordered a shit ton of delivery food and let you eat it in his bed, while he put on your favorite movie, you wearing nothing but your panties and one of his sweatshirts.
And as you were stuffing yourself, he suddenly asked: “Do you want to marry me?”
“What?” you asked with a full mouth, quickly gulping everything down, “You're asking me this now? I look like shit!”
“This is what I love most about you. You being you.”
For a moment he was scared that he might have disappointed you. That he should have made this more romantic and not just throw a question like that in the room while you were having sauce smeared all over your mouth.
But you actually started to laugh, “You surprise me every day, Jung Hoseok. But where's my ring? Do I not get some sort of ring at least?”
Hoseok walked into the bathroom and came back with a bit of toilet paper, rolled it into a ring and pushed it onto your finger. You laughed and said it was perfect, but then Hoseok pulled out the actual ring from his bedside table, making you gasp.
“What..- you think I'd just ask you this question without being at least a little prepared? I guess I do surprise you every day.”
You jumped into his arms, but carefully, so that you wouldn't have to sleep in sheets stained with all sorts of food.
The messy part came afterwards.
But that was celebratory sex.
kim namjoon
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Namjoon knew he wanted to marry you the moment you had asked him if he wanted to have your first date at this coffee shop/book shop. It was as if you were his soulmate.
But he took his time with asking.
Four years, in fact. Four years of nothing but love and affection and with each day he spent with you, his desire to marry you broadened.
And now here he was, trying to rent out this part of the observatory for the night so he could ask you under the stars if you wanted to marry him.
“I'm so sorry, Mister Kim, but we're completely booked. I can't offer you a spot for another five months.”
“Five months?!” Namjoon repeated in surprise.
“This is the best season to see the stars. Most people prepare months in advance for a tour. If you want to rent this part out, it'll be at least five months until I can promise you you'll have it all to yourself.”
Well, he took it. He didn't really have any other option and he told himself that he's waited four years, so what's five more months, right?
But with each day that he spent coming home to you after that day, he felt like he was about to burst. It was as if he just wanted to finally let out that secret that he's been hiding from you for so long.
And one day, that feeling just became unbearable.
“Ugh, we should have just went sooner. Why is traffic always this bad around here?” you leaned back in your seat, looking at your boyfriend when he was too quiet, “Hey.. you okay, babe? What's that in your hands?”
He's been playing around with it since he sat down in your car. But he's been hiding it well under his strong hands.
However, once you mentioned it, he showed it to you.
“My plan was a different one, believe me. But does it really matter where I ask? What matters is that I ask, right? The sooner the better. Because the sooner I ask and the sooner you'll hopefully say what I desperately want you to say, the sooner we will officially start our lives together.”
You listened, then you smiled softly, finally you nodded, “You're right.”
“Alright then, (Y/N) (Y/L/N). The love of my life, my soulmate.. will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” he opened up the ring box with the most beautiful and hopeful smile that you'd ever seen.
And just as you were about to say yes, the car behind you started honking.
“Oh, shit,” you quickly drove forward, just a little bit until you came to a halt again, then you leaned forward and kissed your, now, fiance, “I do, Kim Namjoon. Of course, I do.”
park jimin
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You were sure that he meant well. Because this venue was actually really nice, minus the thousands of people that have gathered here today.
Jimin had been acting nervous all night long and kept trying to pull you away from the crowd because he needed to tell you something, but every time he tried, someone came up to him for a conversation.
He had this grand plan of taking you up on the rooftop where you could see all of Seoul, then propose to you there with this speech that he's worked on for weeks... but it didn't work out that way.
And at around three in the morning, the host thanked everyone for coming and basically, in a nice manner, asked everyone to leave now.
“Finally, I think if we stayed any longer, your ear would have fallen off,” you chuckled as you walked out hand in hand. But Jimin was deep in thought, then suddenly stopped in the hallway while a bunch of people just walked past you, “Hey.. you okay?” your eyebrows furrowed in concern, your hand gently cupping his face.
It was only then that he looked at you.
“It wasn't supposed to be like this, believe me. But I don't want to leave here tonight without doing what I actually came here for.”
The scenery wasn't exactly the most romantic, you were literally standing in the middle of a hallway, which, thankfully, was empty at this point.
But what mattered most to you was what Jimin said once he knelt down in front of you.
“When I was younger, I thought my only dream in life was to become an idol and be famous. But even though I achieved that, I still felt like something was missing. So I pushed harder and harder, but no matter what I did, I didn't come any closer to happiness. Only when I met you did I realize what it really was that I always wanted,” Jimin grabbed your hands and smiled up at you, “You showed me that the most important thing in life isn't fame, money or success in my career. The most important thing is love. Coming home after a long and hard day of work and being able to smile when I see you, when you stand there with your arms open, welcoming me with a hug. That's what matters the most. You make me a better man and have been doing so since the day I met you. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thankful that you're by my side. But I don't want you to 'just' be my girlfriend anymore. I want to call you my wife. And so, even though this isn't at all where I wanted to ask you this,” he pulled out the ring box and took a deep breath before he asked: “Will you marry me, (Y/N)?”
You hadn't realized that a few people had wanted to cross, but had waited for Jimin to finish his speech, only when you had finally said yes with tears in your eyes and were in the arms of your fiance, did everyone around you clap for you two.
The venue didn't matter. It mattered that it came from him in such a way.
kim taehyung
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Taehyung thought that taking you on world tour with him would be the perfect opportunity to ask you to marry him, given all the romantic spots and places that he could take you to to ask.
But see, sometimes BTS forgot who they were. There was a reason they did a tour in those countries. It was because they had a lot of fans there.
It wasn't as easy as he thought to just take you to the Eiffel Tower and propose to you there. It didn't work like that for him.
And despite pleading, his managers denied him his request again and again.
“You've been upset for nearly two hours now,” you sat down next to him on the empty stage of the empty arena. Only a few cleaners were in here to prepare everything for tomorrow, “Will you finally tell me what's wrong?”
“I'm sorry, (Y/N). I wanted this to be a romantic vacation, even though I'm working.”
You let out a chuckle and pulled him against you by wrapping your arm around his shoulder, “How many times do I need to tell you that I don't care about the whole romance thing? What matters to me is spending time with you. Imagine me not having come with you.. we wouldn't have been able to see each other for months. That's way worse. So this is perfect, trust me.”
“Perfect?” he raised his head, blinking at you with wide eyes, “Really?”
“Well.. yes.”
You didn't necessarily mean this arena while you could hear vacuum cleaners and workers laughing. But that's apparently what he had thought you had meant, as he jumped off the stage and pulled out a ring box so suddenly that you actually gasped.
You definitely hadn't expected that move.
“I wanted it to be perfect. Because that's what you deserve. The best. And I know I'm not, I know you could do better and I know I need to do better every single day to become the man that you deserve, but I'm willing to do that. If you let me.”
That made you sigh and actually jump off the stage to grab him by his shirt and pull him up.
“Don't you ever say that again, Taehyung. Don't you ever say that you're not already the most wonderful person in the world to me. Especially now..- that you're my husband to be.”
When you started smiling, Taehyung quickly broke out in a huge grin and wrapped his arms around your middle, lifting you up in his arms and spinning you around once.
jeon jeongguk
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When they were younger, the boys would often joke around on who'd be the first to become a dad. Probably everyone was an option but Jeongguk in these discussions. At first it was because 'he's just a baby', then eventually it turned into 'he's too shy to ever even look at a girl' and ultimately it was 'he's responsible enough to know how to use protection'.
Well, all three of these statements were false.
Jeon Jeongguk is not a baby anymore, he showed you that time and time again.
Jeon Jeongguk may be shy in certain situations, but certainly never with you.
And lastly, Jeon Jeongguk knew how to use protection for three years straight and then, one very early morning, just forgot. And because you had forgotten to take your pill a few days earlier but didn't remember that in that very moment, you had unprotected sex with him. Happily.
And now here you were, in a hospital, sweating from the pain and having trouble breathing while his baby was desperately trying to get out of you.
The doctors had said you weren't ready to push yet, but fucking hell, it definitely felt like you were ready.
“So, babe, I know this is probably not the right moment, but I really wanted to ask you this before the baby is born and now I don't have time anymore and..-” but when he saw your angry stance, he just opened up the ring box and held it into your face with a looped smile, “Will.. you marry me, (Y/N)?”
“What?! You're asking me this now?!”
“Well, I told you, I wanted to do this earlier but the timing was always wrong and..-”
“And now is the right timing? While I'm pressing our child out of my vagina?”
“When you're putting it like that.. maybe.. not?”
There wasn't time for you to answer as the doctor walked in at that very moment and after that, everything happened extremely fast. You barely remembered the in-between now, it only came back when your daughter was finally in your arms and you and Jeongguk sat there smiling down at her.
Only then did you finally look up at him and say: “By the way?”
“Hm?” he smiled as softly as you did.
“I'm saying yes.”
Jeongguk let out a chuckle and kissed your temple before he pulled the ring box back out of his pocket and slipped the beautiful diamond ring on your finger.
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caelpictor · 2 years ago
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Okay, but for a more serious answer:
I was medicated as a teenager, but I stopped because of the loss of appetite side effect (I was already very small and barely ate), and so I had to develop a good number of coping mechanisms, some of which I’ll try to list below (Tumblr has already eaten my first two drafts of this post, and they were good! 😖)
First of all, I have several (fairly detailed) task lists, which help me remember my own routines and rituals and responsibilities (because yes, otherwise I will forget), and it also helps me prioritize tasks based on urgency, because otherwise I might get trapped deciding what to do next, and before I know it, the day is gone! Keeping important things (key items, as I like to call them) in a place where they’re always visible is extremely helpful, because if I don’t see it, it doesn’t exist to me lol. I also set SEVERAL alarms when I have somewhere to be, because I have very little awareness of the passage of time, and regularly overestimate the amount of time I have to do something or get somewhere (I like to call it the “oobh i got plany off time.” effect). Physical activity is a must for me, because it helps me get out my anxious energy and channel it into something productive (my own health), and it literally helps me sleep at night. Alone time is a must; other people are my biggest distraction. I make liberal use of the “do not disturb” mode on my phone, because I’m known to get caught in a loop of checking notifications and refreshing apps.
Sometimes I find that doing repetitive tasks can be fun and meditative for me (if I’m hyperfocused), but sometimes the idea of doing something repetitive can be so dull that it stops me from starting the task entirely, so I try to find ways to make daily tasks more active and engaging if at all possible. Listening to music and podcasts is a godsend when I’m doing something that requires both my hands and my eyes (doing the dishes, painting/drawing, etc.), because it sort of occupies a channel in my brain and helps me block out the background noise of my own thoughts. But for certain tasks (reading, writing, math) I require either silence or white noise (I’m in public while I’m writing this, and had to put in my earbuds to block out Rihanna’s voice (which is lovely, but makes it very difficult for me to focus on writing!))
Over all, I have good ADHD days and bad ADHD days, and so I find it helpful to give myself grace every now and again (usually once a week, like on Saturday or Sunday) and allow myself to do absolutely nothing all day. To feed the ADHD beast, so to speak. Yes, this is a privilege.
What else… External pressure can help a lot, but failing that, I often catch myself in the middle of being “stuck” and have to literally force myself into action. I can be really impulsive (just impatiently chasing dopamine) and have to constantly remind myself to be calm and behave rationally, and just think of it as being kind to my future self and the people around me lol. I also get really upset when something I’m focused on is interrupted in any way (I hate leaving things unfinished), and I have to keep in mind that whatever I’m doing will be there when I get back, and this is only a temporary distraction. Deep breathing and small adjustments can help with anxious fidgeting and sensory issues. Avoiding eye contact can actually help me produce and process speech better, but it’s not “socially acceptable behavior” so I try my best. I have to regularly monitor my tone and volume, because I can be a bit loud and hyperverbal when I get excited or angry (this, by proxy, helps me manage my rejection sensitivity).
Honestly, every ADHD is different, there’s no one size fits all solution, and most of finding coping mechanisms that work for you is simple years of trial and error. There’s so much that goes into managing ADHD — things people without it wouldn’t even consider! I plan to get back on meds one day, because I think they would improve my quality of life by a lot, but so far my executive dysfunction has kept me from taking the necessary steps 🤪
Anyway, I genuinely hope this helps, or that it’s at least coherent! I may have been living with this for my whole life, but I am by no means an expert and I still have a lot to learn myself lol
Hey king, how do you manage your ADHD? If you wanna tell us.
If you couldn’t tell, i absolutely do not manage my ADHD
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