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snowysosturn · 16 days ago

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Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 24

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x dealer!Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, angst, cursing, mentions of death, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, grief, anger, mention of shootings

*POV's that are in italics indicate flash backs*

Y/n’s POV

My chest felt tight, my breath caught in my throat as Chris climbed over the balcony railing, the rain streaming off him. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead, and his clothes clung to his frame, drenched from the storm. But none of that mattered, he was here.

Alive.

“Chris” I whispered, the word barely audible over the rain pounding against the windows. My legs felt rooted to the floor, my mind struggling to process what I was seeing.

He stepped closer, his hands raised slightly as if he needed to show he meant no harm. “Please, Y/n” he said, his voice low but urgent. “Let me explain.”

I wanted to move, to scream, to cry, to do something, but I couldn’t. My heart was racing, my emotions tangled in a mess of anger, relief, and confusion.

“Explain?” I finally managed, my voice trembling. “Explain what Chris? how you let me believe you were dead, Chris? How you just left me to grieve you?” My voice broke, and I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms as I tried to hold myself together.

“Please, Y/n” Chris begged, his voice low and steady, though the weight of his plea made my chest tighten. “We can explain.”

“We?” I asked sharply, my voice cutting through the sound of the storm outside.

Before he could answer, movement from the driveway caught my eye. I turned my head and froze.

Nate.

He was standing by his car, his hoodie pulled tight against the rain, his expression unreadable as he stared straight at us.

“You’ve got to be kidding me” I muttered, the weight of realization hitting me as hard as the storm. I turned back to Chris, my voice rising. “He knew? Nate was in on this the whole time?”

Chris hesitated, his jaw tightening as he glanced toward the driveway, then back at me. “Yeah..” he admitted quietly. “He helped me.”

I let out a humorless laugh, the sound harsh even to my own ears. “Unbelievable.” I said, shaking my head. “You two conspired to fake your death, to leave me in pieces, and what? You thought I’d just forgive you when you decided to show up again?”

Chris took another step closer, his hand reaching out as if to touch me, but I took a step back. “I didn’t want to hurt you” he said, his voice breaking. “I thought it was the only way to protect you from Vince.”

“Don’t you dare.” I snapped, cutting him off. “Don’t you dare act like this was for me. You don’t get to make that decision for me, Chris.”

Tears blurred my vision, but I refused to let them fall. “Do you have any idea what you put me through?” I asked, my voice shaking. “The nights I couldn’t sleep, the days I couldn’t breathe because I thought you were gone? Because I thought I’d lost you?”

Chris’s expression crumbled, and for a moment, I saw the boy I used to know, the boy who would have done anything to make me smile. But that boy was gone, replaced by someone I barely recognized.

“I’m sorry” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I never wanted this.”

“Then why?” I demanded, the word breaking in my throat. “Why didn’t you just tell me? Why didn’t you trust me?”

His gaze dropped to the floor, and the silence stretched between us, heavy and suffocating.

“I couldn’t” he finally said, his voice raw. “If Vince found out..if he thought you were a distraction..” He trailed off, shaking his head. “I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk you.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the sight of Nate walking toward the balcony made me stop. I fixed my focus to ground level to see Nate standing there.

“Y/n” he said, his voice calm but guarded. “We need to talk.”

I stared at him, disbelief and anger boiling to the surface. “Oh, now you want to talk?” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “After everything? After helping him disappear without a word? And watching me grieve for days?”

“Look” Nate said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “I know it was messed up. I know you’re mad-”

“Mad?” I interrupted, my voice rising. “Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it, Nate.”

Chris stepped forward, his voice urgent. “Y/n, please. Just let us explain everything. You deserve to know the truth.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, my heart pounding in my ears. “You’ve got five minutes.” I said, my voice colder than my body after being engulfed in this storm. “And it better be good. Nate, come in through the front door.” Gesturing to the front of the house as Chris followed me into my bedroom and down the stairs to the living room, soaking wet, leaving puddles through the house and I’m hoping it leads me to the trail of truth.

The room fell silent except for the sound of rain against the windows as Chris and Nate exchanged a glance. Whatever they were about to say, I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it. But I’d come this far, there was no turning back now.

“Firstly I want to know how you managed to fake all of this. But before we get into anything let me make a call first.” I say, taking out my phone.

Chris’ POV

The small kitchen in Nate’s house was dead quiet except for the ticking of the clock and the scratching of Nate’s pen against the notebook in front of us. My leg bounced under the table, the urgency of the situation pressing down on me like a weight I couldn’t shake. It was already 3pm, and I had less than three hours before I was supposed to meet Vince. If we didn’t come up with something foolproof, this wasn’t just going to blow back on me. It would destroy both of us.

“This has to be airtight” I said, running a hand through my hair. “No loose ends, no room for Vince to start asking questions. If he even sniffs that this isn’t real..” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“I know, I know” Nate said, chewing the end of his pen like it was a lifeline. He looked just as stressed as I felt, his usual laidback energy completely gone. “But we’ve got this, man. We’ve just gotta keep our heads.”

“Keep our heads?” I repeated with a humorless laugh. “You’re talking about faking my death, Nate. This isn’t some petty scam.”

“Exactly why we can’t screw it up” he shot back, his tone sharp. He leaned forward, jabbing the pen at the notebook. “We need to sell this. Make it so airtight even Vince can’t poke holes in it.”

I sighed, leaning back in the chair and crossing my arms. “Alright, genius. How do we make that happen?”

Nate’s eyes lit up with an idea, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What if we use cops?”

“Cops?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Not real ones” he clarified quickly, holding up a hand. “I know some guys. They’ve stolen cop cars before, uniforms too. We can pay them to set up a fake police presence at the scene. You know, flashing lights, police tape, the whole nine yards. We’ll pretend you got shot out front, have a sheet laid over a mannequin. Make it look legit.”

I stared at him, turning the idea over in my head. It was risky, but it could work. Vince wasn’t stupid, but even he wouldn’t question something that looked like an active crime scene.

“Alright..” I said slowly. “How are we going to make it known? He’s gonna start wondering why no one’s talking about it.”

“I’ll handle that” Nate said, grabbing his phone. “We call the local news outlets ourselves, anonymously. Tell them there was a gang related shooting. A fatality. Feed them just enough details to make it believable. If it’s all over the news by the time he hears about it, he’s got no reason to doubt it.”

I nodded, the pieces of the plan starting to take shape. “And what about after all this? We’re going to have to have a funeral?”

Nate paused, tapping the pen against the table as he thought. “We’ll buy a coffin, something cheap.” he said finally. “Say the shooting was so bad it has to be a closed casket ceremony. That’ll keep anyone from asking too many questions about, you know..” He trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the empty air between us.

“Right” I said, swallowing hard. “And the ceremony itself? How are we meant to pull off a funeral without an actual dead person?”

“Evening mass” Nate said with a shrug. “I’ll hire a priest. No one’s gonna be around, and we’ll tell people there’s a cremation afterward to avoid burying an empty coffin. Keeps it clean and simple so Vince will buy it, not that he’d even show up to it, you know what he’s like.”

I nodded, the plan solidifying in my mind. But one thought kept nagging at me, a knot tightening in my chest the more I thought about it.

“What about Y/n?” I asked quietly.

Nate looked up at me, his expression unreadable. “What about her?”

“You know she’s going to get wind of this.. And If when she shows up at the funeral..” I trailed off, the thought of her being dragged into this making my stomach churn. “I don’t want people knowing who she is. If Vince finds out about her.. I don't want him to ever know who she is.”

Nate frowned, thinking for a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. We need to find a way to keep her anonymous”

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my green bandana, holding it out to him. I had it in my pocket, ready for when I went to meet Vince later, just on the off chance of any surprises. “She can wear this” I said, my voice firm. “Tell her it’s for her own safety. Make sure she understands, Nate. Keep her quiet for the whole funeral, don't let her stand, don't let her speak. And if someone even thinks about going near her..”

“She’ll be fine” Nate said quickly, taking the bandana from me. “I’ll make sure of it.”

I leaned forward, my eyes locked on his. “No, you need to promise me, Nate. If anything happens to her, if someone so much as looks at her, you’ll protect her. You’ll get her out of there, no questions asked. Do you hear me?”

Nate nodded, his expression serious. “I promise, Chris. I’ll look out for her. She’s your girl,I get it.”

The weight of the plan settled over us as we finalised the details. Nate made the calls to his contacts, arranging for the fake cops and the news tips, while I sat there trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut. By the time we were done, the clock read 4:30. We had just over an hour to set everything in motion.

“Alright” Nate said, standing up and grabbing his keys. “I’ll set off a fake gunshot in about an hour, it happens so often no one in this neighbour good will flinch, after that i’ll handle the fake cops and the news. You focus on keeping your mouth shut in here, you can stay in Danny’s room for the foreseeable. The room is usually locked, and no one will be looking in there.”

I nodded, standing and grabbing my jacket. “Let’s make it count” I said, my voice steady despite the storm raging inside me.

Nate smirked, clapping me on the shoulder. “We’ve got this.”

I sat in Danny’s old room as the fake crime scene was cleared, after sitting seeing flashes of blue and red through the window for hours, hearing all the commotion outside. I stared at the four walls that seemed to close in tighter with every passing minute. The hum of the old air conditioner was the only sound, aside from my own restless breathing. I couldn’t stop replaying her face in my mind, how she’d looked the last time I saw her before this whole thing started. I imagined her smile replaced with grief, and it killed me.

Nate walked in, tossing a paper bag of takeout onto the table. He looked tired, worn out in a way that only stress could explain. “You need to eat something” he said, pulling up a chair across from me.

I ignored him, my jaw clenched tight. “How is she?” I finally asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He paused, rubbing a hand down his face. “She’s.. not good, man. She was outside the house, seen the whole crime scene. She came to find you, thought it was me that got killed. She was losing it out there. I called Willow and got her home though.”

That hit me like a punch to the gut. I leaned forward, my head in my hands. “Why didn’t you tell her then?”

“Tell her what, Chris?” Nate snapped. “That you’re alive and playing dead so Vince doesn’t put a bullet in both your heads? You think that would’ve made her feel better?”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.

“She was hysterical, man” he went on, his voice quieter now. “Kept asking why it had to happen, why I couldn’t have stopped it. She wanted answers I couldn’t give her.”

My fists clenched. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve-”

“No, Chris. You shouldn’t have” Nate interrupted sharply. “You showing up would’ve made everything worse. Vince is probably trying to figure out what the fuck happened, you can’t be dumb enough to break cover.”

I slammed my fist against the table, the sound echoing in the small room. “This is killing her, Nate. She thinks I’m dead. You don’t understand what that’s doing to her.”

Nate’s face softened, and he leaned back in his chair. “You think I don’t know? I had her break down in my arms thinking you were dead.”

I stood up, pacing the length of the room. “I can’t do this. I can’t just sit here while she’s out there thinking I’m gone. I need to see her. Just once.”

“No.” Nate said firmly, standing up to block my path. “You’re not going anywhere, Chris. You show your face, and Vince finds out you’re alive. Then he comes after you. Is that what you want?”

I shoved him back, anger boiling over. “I don’t care about me! I care about her. She doesn’t deserve this, Nate!”

Nate grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to stop. “And you think she deserves a bullet in her head because you couldn’t stay hidden for a few weeks? Think, Chris! Vince doesn’t mess around. You know that. He’d kill her without a second thought if he thought it’d get to you.”

The fight drained out of me, and I slumped back into the chair. Nate was right, as much as I hated to admit it. Vince wouldn’t stop until he was sure I was out of the picture for good.

The day of the funeral came too quickly. Nate left in the early evening to make sure everything went smoothly, while I stayed locked away in this damn room. I paced for hours, knowing Y/n would be there, crying over an empty coffin while I was only a few miles away. The thought made my chest ache.

Before midnight, Nate came back, looking more somber than I’d ever seen him. I didn’t even give him a chance to speak before I was on him. “How was it? Was she okay?”

“Chris-” he started, but I cut him off.

“Don’t give me that ‘it’s for the best’ crap. Tell me how she was.”

Nate sighed, sitting down heavily on the bed. “She wore your bandana, man. The green one. She had some bear with her too, was clutching it the whole time, like it was the only thing keeping her together. She barely said two words to anyone. Just stood there, staring at the coffin.”

“Raplh” I thought to myself, feeling like I’d been punched in the chest. “I need to see her.”

“No, you don’t” Nate said sharply. “You stay put, Chris. This is almost over. We just need a little more time.”

I couldn’t sit still after that. I kept picturing her standing there, broken and silent, because of me. Every part of me wanted to run to her, to tell her the truth, to make it all better. But I didn’t. I stayed hidden, knowing it was the only way to keep her safe.

It didn’t make it any easier, though. Every day felt like a lifetime, and every second without her felt like a knife twisting in my gut. I just hoped she could forgive me when it was all over.

The next morning, I sat on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the floor. The TV was on in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. My head was pounding, a mix of the stale air in this room and the weight of knowing what Y/n must have gone through yesterday.

Nate burst through the door, carrying a bag of coffee and pastries. He didn’t bother with pleasantries. “Eat. You look like hell.”

I ignored him, same as I had every time he tried to shove food at me over the past few days. “How is she?”

Nate sighed and set the bag down on the table. “I’m not doing this again, Chris.”

“How. Is. She?” I asked, my voice low and steady, the tension simmering just beneath the surface.

He turned to face me, his expression torn between frustration and sympathy. “She’s wrecked, okay? What the hell do you think? She just said her goodbyes to the guy she loves-”

“Don’t.” I cut him off sharply, standing. My hands balled into fists at my sides. “Don’t talk about it like I’m actually dead. I’m right here, Nate.”

“Yeah, and that’s the problem!” he shot back, throwing his hands up. “You’re right here, but she can’t know that, because if Vince finds out, we’re all dead! You think this is easy for me? Watching her go through that? Knowing she’s blaming herself? I hate this just as much as you do, Chris, but it’s the only way.”

I paced the room like a caged animal, my chest heaving. “I can’t just sit here while she’s breaking like this. I need to see her. I need to-”

“You need to stay the hell out of it!” Nate barked, stepping into my path. “You showing up now would undo everything we just pulled off. Vince isn’t stupid. He’s probably still watching her, waiting for you to slip up. You walk into her life, and you might as well put a target on her back.”

“What if she’s already got a target on her back!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “That damn air tag, the shooting, all of it, it’s because of me! The least I can do is let her know I’m alive, Nate. She deserves that much.”

Nate’s face softened, but his eyes stayed hard. “She deserves to live, Chris. That’s all I’m trying to make sure of.”

I slumped back onto the bed, my head in my hands. “She’s not going to forgive me for this. When she finds out, it’s going to destroy her.”

Nate sat down across from me, the fight draining out of him. “She’ll forgive you. She loves you, man. That’s why this hurts her so much. But if you go now, you’ll be putting her in even more danger. Is that what you want?”

“No” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Nate rubbed the back of his neck, looking conflicted. “Look, maybe.. maybe if I can make sure no one’s watching, I could bring you to her. Just for a little while. But we can't bring her here. It’s too risky.”

I sat up, my heart racing. “You’d do that?”

He hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. But only if I’m sure it’s safe. And you have to promise me you’ll stick to the plan after. No running off, no trying to fix everything yourself. We’re in this together, Chris.”

Y/n’s POV

I sat on the couch, my arms crossed tightly over my chest, staring at Chris and Nate as they stood before me. My mind was racing, trying to make sense of everything they had just explained. Why go through all this trouble, faking his death, staging a funeral, paying off people to play cops and priests, when they could have just run away? It felt like an elaborate, unnecessary nightmare.

"You couldn’t just.. leave?” I asked, my voice trembling with a mix of confusion and anger. “Why fake your death? Why not just disappear and start over?”

Chris ran a hand through his hair, his face tight with frustration. “It’s not that simple, Y/n. You don’t just leave someone like Vince. Not without consequences.”

“Consequences?” I scoffed, shaking my head. “You made me think you were dead, Chris. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door. The front door swung open, followed by the living room door. I had called Willow earlier, desperate for someone to help me process this mess. She walked in, her expression a mix of worry and confusion, only for her face to freeze the moment she saw Nate and Chris standing there.

Her jaw dropped, and she turned to me, eyes wide. “Is this some kind of sick joke?”

“It’s not a joke” I muttered, still trying to piece together my emotions.

Willow crossed her arms, glaring at the two of them. “So, what? You’re alive? And you thought it’d be fun to traumatize Y/n for.. what, a laugh?”

“Willow” Nate started, his tone unusually serious, “this isn’t what you think.”

“Oh, I think it’s exactly what I think” she snapped. “You two cooked up some crazy plan, and you didn’t stop for one second to consider how it would hurt her.”

Chris stepped forward, his voice low and steady. “Willow, just listen. Let us explain.”

Willow shot me a look, but I nodded hesitantly, signaling for her to give them a chance.

Chris took a deep breath, glancing at Nate before speaking. “We pieced it all together after.. after Danny.”

Hearing his name sent a chill down my spine. Chris hesitated, as if saying it out loud made the situation even more real.

Chris glanced at Nate, who gave him a subtle nod before leaning forward. “Just leaving..it wouldn’t have worked” Chris said quietly, his tone so certain it made my stomach churn. “Not with Vince.”

I folded my arms, trying to steady myself as my world tilted again. “What do you mean it wouldn’t have worked? You could’ve just left, Chris. You could’ve-”

“It’s not that simple, Y/n.” Nate cut in, his voice sharper than I expected. He ran a hand through his hair, frustration radiating off him. “Vince doesn’t let people leave. Not alive, anyway. You don’t get to walk away from the cartel like you’re quitting some nine to five job.”

Chris leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, his eyes locking onto mine. “Danny tried, Y/n.” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “He tried to reason with Vince. Thought maybe if he talked to him, if he was ‘man enough’ about it, that Vince would let him go.”

My breath hitched at the mention of Danny, and I felt my throat tighten. “What.. what are you saying?”

Chris hesitated, his jaw clenching as if the words physically hurt to say. “Danny wasn’t randomly ambushed.” he said finally. “Vince killed him.”

The room fell silent, the words hanging in the air. My mind raced, trying to piece together everything they had told me.

“You’re saying Vince.. murdered him?” My voice cracked, the realization making my stomach churn.

Nate nodded grimly. “Danny wrote a note before he tried to talk to Vince. We found it the day we..” He trailed off, his voice thick with emotion. “He knew trying to leave was dangerous, but he thought he could do it. He thought Vince might respect him enough to let him go.”

“But Vince doesn’t respect anyone” Chris said bitterly, his hands gripping his knees. “Danny was a warning. A reminder to the rest of us that there’s no walking away from this life.”

“Here, if you don’t believe us.” Nate says, pulling a piece of paper from the inside of his waterproof jacket. He held it up so I could read it, not allowing me to touch it.

I felt my stomach drop. “Oh my god. So you think Vince would’ve done the same to you?”

Chris nodded grimly. “If I’d gone to that meeting, yeah. No doubt in my mind. Vince has been testing me for weeks, trying to figure out if I was still loyal. And that was confirmed to me when the mechanic found an airtag stuck to my car after I got the back window replaced.”

“An airtag?” Willow repeated, her brow furrowing.

“Yeah.” Nate said. “That’s how Vince was tracking him. That’s how they knew where he was the night of the shooting. They’ve been following him for God knows how long.”

I stared at Chris, my heart pounding. “The shooting… you’re saying Vince set it up?”

“Shooting?!” Willow exclaims, looking at me in disbelief.

“I’ll explain another time, Will.” I say taking a deep breath in, realising the gravity of all this information.

Chris nodded, his expression dark. “I think it was to scare you off, Y/n. Vince mentioned something about ‘distractions.’ If he thought I was distracted by you, he’d want to eliminate that problem. He probably thought if he scared you enough, you’d leave me.”

My mind reeled. It all made sense now. My hands clenched into fists.

“So, instead of running, you faked your death?” I asked, my voice sharp.

Chris winced. “I didn’t see another way. If Vince thought I was dead, that would be it. He’d never think of me again.”

I sank back into the couch, still sopping wet, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of me. “This is insane. All of it. You made me grieve for you, Chris. You made me believe you were gone.”

Chris stepped closer, his eyes full of guilt. “I know, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want you to get caught up in this any more than you already are.”

Willow, who had clearly been rocked by this information, spoke up. “Okay, so what now? You’re alive, Vince thinks you’re dead, but for how long? And what about Y/n? What’s happens next?”

Chris exchanged a look with Nate, and for the first time, I saw hesitation in his eyes. “That’s why we need to figure out what comes next.”

My chest tightened. “We?”

“Yes, we.” Nate said firmly. “We need your help”

I locked eyes with Chris, waiting for him to speak up. “I’m not leaving you behind, Y/n. Not after everything.”

I wanted to argue, to tell him that I wasn’t going anywhere with him, but deep down, I knew there was no escaping this now. Vince’s shadow loomed over both of us, and until it was gone, we’d never be safe.

Willow looked between us, her expression softening slightly. “Well, if you’re running, you’re not doing it alone. You’ll need help. And I’m not letting Y/n go through this by herself.”

Chris gave her a small nod of appreciation, but his focus was back on me. “Y/n, I know this isn’t fair. I know I’ve hurt you. But I need you to trust me. Please.”

I met his gaze, my heart heavy with the weight of everything he was asking. Trusting him meant stepping into a world I never wanted to be a part of, but not trusting him meant facing Vince alone.

For better or worse, I knew what my choice had to be.

a/n: i really hope this was easy to follow this chapter WRECKED my head trying to get the order of events to make sense

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bekolxeram · 2 months ago

Text

Idea/prompt by @jackmichaela, from this post. This is maybe not exactly what you're asking for, but I'm not good at rewriting scenes. I'm only good at filling in blanks so... I hope you like it.

Tommy usually hates hospital visits. They’re either heart-wrenching or tedious, no in between.

This time, it’s different. Since Hen delivered good news about Denny on the group chat, everyone seems so much more at ease: Evan is not scratching his face anymore, Eddie paces down his mission to destroy the whole bowl of Halloween candies, and sergeant Grant is talking to some teenagers at the reception desk. Tommy picks up a magazine next to him, USA Today, and starts flipping through it. Though he fails to focus on the celebrity interviews or the healthy diet tips in front of him, he is simply basking in the warm familial atmosphere around him.

Then everyone’s phone dings all at once again.

He looks up to find Eddie, struggling to contain his giggle.

“What’s happening this time?” Tommy asks. He scans around and see the rest of the 118 holding in a laugh, just like Eddie. They seem to be watching something on their phone with earbuds in, a smart and considerable choice in a hospital lobby, but Tommy has no clue about the origin of their amusement.

“Oh… oh, it’s nothing. Just a funny cat video.” Evan interjects, face turning red.

“Evan?” Tommy suspects.

“You can take mine. I was there anyway, I’ve seen it all.” Eddie hands Tommy his phone, with a devilish smirk on his face. Evan shoots him a death glare in return.

On Eddie’s phone screen, Tommy sees two clips sent to the 118 group chat, both of them prominently feature Evan’s face in the thumbnail.

“Please don’t do this. I was high on medications.” Evan pleads.

“It’s okay. I swear I won’t hold your intoxicated speeches against you. I just want to be part of the gang this time.” Tommy smiles softly at his boyfriend, then kisses him on a relatively unaffected patch of skin on his cheek.

Tommy presses play.

The first clip is a shaky video of Evan in an ambulance.

“Hey, how’re you feeling?” Eddie asks in the background.

“Muu-- better.” Evan slurs. “Uh, let me tell you a secret… I have a crush on someone….”

“Oh, tell me about it.” Eddie says jovially.

“He uh… tall, and hot, and big…” Evan sighs dreamily. “He’s strong, he used to be in the Army.” He points a finger at the camera.

“Well, I’m flattered, but I don’t really swing that w…”

“No! Ewww! You’re like a brother to me.”

“Ew? That’s a little harsh. I mean, I’m not that bad looking, right?”

“Naaaaaaaa? You’re attractive too? You’re just not the man of my dream.”

“And… who’s that guy exactly?” Eddie asks with a guiding question?

“It’s Tah – Tah – ”

“Tah – ?”

“Tarzan!” Evan exclaims. “He’s got big hands, big biceps the size of my head, a big heart, and… those V-shaped lines leading from his super cut abs to his giant d…” Evan is almost drooling.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough for me.” Eddie stops him before he can get too explicit with his ode.

“You’re homophobic!”

“Wait, what? You said it, I’m your brother. I just don’t want to know too much about my brother’s sex life.”

“I just spent too much time not living my life to its fullest, because of ignorant people.” Evan laments.

“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know how hard it was for y…”

“Meeeeeeeeee! I was the ignorant people… I didn’t realize how hot men were… I didn’t know how much I wanted to suck Tah...” Evan drags out his vowels, while trying to point at something in the air with his hands.

The video suddenly turns into a blur. “Alright, stop moving before you hurt yourself more.” Then it ends abruptly.

“Tarzan, huh?” Tommy turns to look at Evan. “Is that what you think of me?” Evan’s boils are as red as tomatoes by now.

“Fine! You’ve all had your fun. Now can you spare me from further embarrassment?” Evan requests, trying to hide his blushing cheeks under the collar of his jacket.

“You know very well that as a firefighter,” Chimney cuts in, “drugged up ramblings are required to be public knowledge by law. For transparency’s sake and as entertainment for other first responders,” He laughs, gesturing for Tommy to play the next clip.

The second clip starts with Evan in the hospital room.

“Tell me more about your crush, Tarzan.” Eddie demands, again, in the background.

“What? Who’s Tarzan? I said Tommy.” Evan replies, with much less slurring in his speech this time.

Eddie seems to have clocked the sedation weaning off, “Um… You’re back with us, Buck? How’s the pain? Do you need me to call the nurse…”

“What? Are you out of your mind? It’s Tommy! Did Chili Oils wipe your memories too?” Evan furrows his brows, with a deeply confused expression. “Tommy! My husband!”

“Umm… when did you get married?” Eddie asks, just as confused.

“At Maddie’s wedding. No! Wait! We weren’t married yet. I only thought about it back then! When he came to me still in his turnouts and soot all over his face I just…” Evan says with an enamored smile. “Wait, where am I? Am I in the hospital? Why am I here?”

“I’m just gonna call the nurse…”

“I’m getting married here! Like Chimney! Eddie, you got me into some bachelor party shenanigans and I end up having to marry the love of my life here!”

“I didn’t…”

“Do I look good? No, wait, I’m naked! I need a suit!” Evan pats all over his own body with both hands.

“Stop! Don’t move your bad arm!” Eddie tries stopping him. Then the clip starts getting blurry again.

“I’m marrying Tommy with my birthday suit! Like the ancient Greek! Do I look good, Eddie? Are my pecs popping under this cover?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure, now stop flailing around.” Eddie says before the video ends.

Evan puts his face into his hands, flustered and embarrassed. “You’re happy now?”

“Of course I am. That’s payback for making me listen to your graphic description of your love life under sedation.” Eddie frowns.

“Well, I think that’s very cute.” Tommy interrupts. “We’re in no hurry to get married but… I appreciate you blurting out your attraction to me, unlike our first date…”

“Shut up!” Evan hides his head on Tommy’s shoulder to avoid the inevitable teasing.

“Make me.” Tommy responds.

Evan simply looks his boyfriend deep in the eyes and kisses him, softly but deeply.

“Hi, thanks for being here. Denny’s awake, you can go see him now if you want to.” Hen comes out to update the 118 family. “Especially you, Tommy. The first thing Denny asked was for the cool pilot who’s good at painting to draw the most badass helicopter on his cast.” Hen asks Tommy, with the exhaustion and relief of a previously worrying mother in her eyes.

“Of course.” Tommy replies.

#Not a prolific writer myself #Only have one fic under my belt #Speedwriting is super new to me #Hope you don't mind the flaws #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #tevan #kinley #911 spoilers #911 abc #bucktommy fic

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torukmaktoskxawng · 7 months ago

Text

tsamsiyu ta'em - calm before the storm

Masterlist - part seventeen

Summary: Just as the chapter's title suggests. It was the calm before the storm…

Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character

Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 11k+

Warnings: Fluff! Some awkwardness that happens after one makes a confession lol. Trauma regarding torture, loss of a child, body dysmorphia, etc. There's a plot twist at the end of this chapter ;)

Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings @tojisleftarm @andyfromku @ivysully @lightandshadow31 @jamie-poopoo @brittney69 @avatar-lover @ikeyniofthetayrangi @cardi-bre91

A/n: Hiii 🥰 I'm very sorry for the hiatus that I originally promised wasn't going to be a hiatus. To escape life, I dove into other fixations such as Destiny 2, the Fallout show, Dune Part 2, and Bridgerton... yeah, I did some bouncing. So far, my summer has been fantastic! Anyway, here's another chapter before I inevitably disappear again 😂

Enjoy!

If there was anything Kayla was extremely grateful for, it was that Spider didn't have a heightened sense of smell as the Na'vi did.

She could smell both Ronal and Tonowari on her skin, and while it internally delighted her, she felt her skin prickle at the thought of Spider of all people being traumatized and learning about her very recent courting by smell alone as they share close quarters with one another. The thought mortified her more than anything, more than the idea of eventually having to tell Jake.

Thankfully, Spider returned home that day none the wiser, Ronal and Tonowari already long gone even with their scents still lingering in Kayla's nose. She felt like a teenager again, embarrassed and trying to hide it from her parents. However, she quickly stomped down that thought at the harsh reminder that she's a grown-ass woman and Spider wasn't a very judgemental kid. He was also someone who had caught onto Ronal and Tonowari's interest in Kayla early on and wouldn't be surprised if he learned the truth.

With that in mind, Kayla emerged from her kelku the next morning wearing the new top the Metkayina clan leaders had gifted her. For a very brief moment, she felt exposed and uncomfortable, the woven beads cool against her skin, but then, she looked down at herself and felt her body relax to see that the top covered just about as much as her threadbare red shirt did. It wasn't even close to revealing as some of the tops Kayla had seen Na'vi women wear, even with the low cut. A small part in the back of Kayla's head felt delighted to realize that this top was definitely made for her.

She still wore her shorts, but the small change in attire was still noticeable as she quickly learned. Na'vi eyes silently observed her as she walked through the village, and even though she heard the Metkayina whisper as she passed them, they weren't hateful or disgusted, but more in awe. Her skin crawled because she didn't know if she preferred it or would much rather have them feel indifferent to her again.

While their eyes all noticed her top, Kayla almost felt the need to throw her shirt back over herself at the thought that the Metkayina might also smell her new scent as well. It would explain the way their noses would twitch and their ears all perk up and turn in her direction when they haven't even noticed her presence yet.

If Spider noticed any of it, he didn't say a word, instead, he informed Kayla that he would be deep-diving with the other reef boys that afternoon. Something crawled in her stomach at the reminder of Ao'nung and other reef boys leaving Lo'ak alone outside the reef before she sternly told Spider to make sure either Lo'ak or Tsireya was with them. Apart from the small, suspicious stare, Spider didn't question her, taking his new bow in hand and heading out to meet his friends, waving back to Kayla as he went and promising to be back before supper.

Walking along the beach, Kayla recognized the tsahik from a mile away, fingers entangled in a worn fishing net. As Kayla walked over to the other woman, she watched the way Ronal's ears lifted and moved in her direction. Ronal looked up from her work and recognized Kayla from a distance, and by the time the dreamwalker approached her, it wasn't hard to deduce how pleased she looked, eyes dancing approvingly over the avatar woman's figure, reaching a hand out to lightly adjust the top on Kayla before nodding once with confidence,

"It suits you perfectly. I was afraid it would not be able to hold up against your beauty."

Despite having a young Na'vi body, Kayla felt as though her heart was ready to give out, her feet barely catching when she initially stumbled in reaction to Ronal's compliment. Kayla's eyes quickly averted, the tip of her ears feeling warm as she quietly thanked the tsahik and changed the subject, making plans to see both her and Tonowari later. After making a brief conversation as to what each other's plans were for the day, Kayla had turned to leave but nearly jolted out of her skin when she felt a gentle tug on her tail. She couldn't help the feigned glare she threw back at Ronal, internally delighted by the rare mischief she saw in the Metkayina woman's eyes, but trying not to show it. Kayla's fake irritation only appeared to amuse Ronal forward, the tsahik tilting her head at the avatar while appreciatively staring her up and down once more, forcing the heat from Kayla's ears to travel down her neck.

The avatar cleared her throat and then finally departed, hiding her own smile as she thought back to Ronal's well-hidden playful behavior. It was nothing like the woman who sharply tugged Kayla's tail the day they first met, further showing just how much things have changed around here.

Summoning an ilu, Kayla makes her way through the reef, reaching the atoll wall where all the various pools travel up one side like stairs, catching various sealife whenever the tide rises up and down. Dozens of Metkayina are fishing and gathering in these pools, with nets, and baskets at their feet. Kayla zeros in on one particular Na'vi and swims over after letting her ilu take off, climbing up onto the slippery wall to make her way over to her friend.

Rutxa looks up and appears smug at the sight of Kayla, blue eyes pointedly narrowed on the avatar's new top while dramatically sniffing the air, "You look... enamored. Had a good evening?"

Kayla's eyes narrow, "Don't play dumb. I bet you're just dying to weave a story about it."

Their grin remained playful, humming dramatically as if deep in thought, "Perhaps if you tell me all about it, I won't have to... fabricate any details."

Kayla lets out a humorous scoff, shaking her head, "You're horrible."

"Yes, that was what my mother called me. Don't abuse it."

The laugh that bubbles out of Kayla coincides with the screech of an approaching ikran. The sound makes Kayla pause and look up to the sky in order to discover which ikran. She only had to briefly catch the color to know the banshee was Neytiri's bonded, and a small wedge of dread made its home in Kayla's chest.

Neytiri lands her ikran gracefully, several yards away from any Metkayina as they go about the pools of the atoll wall. The Na'vi woman looks around before her eyes land on her intended target. Kayla half expected her sister-in-law to bristle at the sight of her, but she felt a small bit of genuine confusion when all she saw was a woman who was trying to appear small and guarded. If Kayla wanted to verbally taunt, she would've pointed out to Neytiri that she almost looked guilty. The two women stare at each other for some time before Neytiri takes a deep breath and starts slowly walking forward, her face pinched with dread at the idea of the long-awaited conversation she was no doubt forcing herself to partake in.

Kayla takes her own deep breath and then motions Rutxa to wait here before drifting over to meet Neytiri halfway. While it felt as though they walked forever to reach each other, both women found themselves standing right in front of one another only seconds later, neither saying a word while their eyes never fully meeting, both hesitant to say anything at first due to their ongoing impasse.

Neytiri looks Kayla up and down before she swallows her pride, both visibly and internally as she opens her mouth, "Your clothes. They are lovely."

The Sully sister's eyes dart off to the side, her words are stiff but courteous, "Thank you."

"Did the tsahik make it?"

The mention of Ronal made Kayla's ears twitch, "What gave it away?"

"It would explain why she asked me about making a bow for Spider. And--" she takes a small whiff of the air around her mate's sister, "You smell like her. Tonowari, too."

"... I see. Don't tell Jake."

She raised a hairless brow at the other woman, "I will not need to. He will smell it."

Kayla pointedly doesn't blink, finally staring directly into Neytiri's eyes with a stern expression, "Which is why I am avoiding him at the moment."

Neytiri quietly observes Kayla, yellow eyes piercing into one another's gaze, trying to sniff out each other's thoughts. The Omatikaya woman is wracked with bafflement. It is a beautiful thing for one to finally find their mate, or, in this case, mates. It should never be something to be ashamed of, as newly mated pairs often run to their families to excitedly share the news. The fact that Kayla would rather hide and avoid Jake baffles Neytiri. She wanted to hiss and scold both of the former sawtute for what was clearly a spat between siblings, along with a dash of pride, but at this time and place, she knew Kayla wouldn't accept nor appreciate her scolding.

Still, it bothered the Na'vi woman. Neytiri knew the two siblings had a lot of conflict between them, but to go as far as to not share such wonderful news with each other? Neytiri would give anything to be in Kayla's position. She would've given anything to be able to excitedly share life updates with her own sister once more. Sylwanin used to love hearing how Neytiri's day went before bed, even though Neytiri wasn't in turn thrilled to hear about what her sister and Tsu'tey would get up to in the woods. Then again, Neytiri was the only person her sister trusted with that information, and it shattered Neytiri's heart to think how she had taken that for granted. She will never make that same mistake again, and any secrets Sylwanin entrusted to her will die with Neytiri.

Hence why she couldn't bring herself to deny Kayla when the other woman was clearly trying to tell her not to share her secrets with Jake. Neytiri exhaled through her nose and nodded in defeat, "I will not breathe a word."

Kayla stiffly nodded and briefly looked away, peering over her shoulder to see if Rutxa was still waiting for her. Neytiri's conflict was easily undetected, watching Kayla when the avatar wasn't looking with a pained expression in her eyes. Everything that had come between the two women lately was pounding against Neytiri's skull, begging her to say something, to make things right, to finally confess her sins out loud. It has been plaguing her ever since the boy-- ever since Spider confronted her about her distaste and mistreatment toward him. Ever since he made her stand in the eyes of her inner demons, her hidden thoughts no longer feel as hidden as they used to be and she's been struggling to accept everything he said was true.

'Denial is a river in Egypt.' It's a phrase she's not familiar with, but it's something she remembered Grace used to say when Neytiri was a child. When the scientist explained what it meant, somehow it threaded its way into Neytiri's head, and she had yet to forget about it. No one could deny Neytiri's grief after everything she's been through, but neither could anyone deny how unfair she had been to Spider his whole life. Despite knowing how innocent he was, Neytiri refused to See him. Despite eventually accepting Jake and loving him for who he is, she couldn't do the same for Spider, and despite knowing how that hurt the child, she didn't care. Or at least-- not at the time. The fact that she didn't care for a child and his feelings was something she came to terms with long ago, but staring Kayla in the face and simply stating she wasn't Spider's mother haunted Neytiri in her sleep.

The expression Kayla gave terrified Neytiri, guilt riddled her mind and heart. She didn't originally care how her words might hurt Spider, but the guilt she felt when her words affected Kayla felt like she took an arrow through the stomach. It only got worse when Neytiri took the time to look around and see everyone else's reactions. Those who mattered most to her, her husband and her children, all had looked at her as though they didn't recognize her. They looked at her as if she was some sort of monster. After spending time to herself, replaying her words to Spider and everyone's faces, Neytiri finally admitted to herself that they were right. She was a monster. She might not be like Quaritch, but she shouldn't go around and pretend she was better than him, especially after they both held a child at knifepoint for the sake of another.

Neytiri had looked down at her reflection in the water that same day -the day Spider called her out- and suddenly realized she no longer recognized herself. Even though there were things no one could blame her for, there were still moments in her life where Neytiri knew she could've done better. Yes, she let her children play with Spider, but she never once acknowledged him. She didn't have to claim him as hers, but she could've at least made the boy feel welcome. She could've invited him to a family dinner at least once, or given a comment or two on how to properly hold a bow when she caught him trying to teach himself.

So many instances flash over Neytiri's eyes, instances where she could have shown kindness or care to a little orphaned boy who had done nothing but admire her family and love her children with every fiber of his little being. But she didn't. And when she thought back to the young woman she used to be... before Hometree and before her father... before Tsu'tey and Sylwanin... that young woman would have shown such kindness to Spider. By Eywa, that young woman might have even grown to love him as she had grown to love Jake.

Regret will forever be her friend as Neytiri finally comes to accept that she was wrong. Feeling a little more courageous with Kayla's eyes no longer on her, Neytiri spoke up once more, albeit a little more softly, and with the most sincere regret, "I am sorry."

Unaware of Neytiri's internal conflict, Kayla's eyes return to hers, squinting with disapproval, "It's not me you should be apologizing to."

Neytiri pressed her eyes shut for a moment, the guilt bleeding into her expression as her ears pinned back against her skull, "I am sorry to you as well. I had threatened your son. I almost killed him in front of you."

"He's n--" Kayla's words caught in her throat, then she swallowed them down and looked away again, trying to hide the small pain in her voice, "Thank you."

Neytiri nods, voice a little more sure, "I would not be any better than the monster who took my son away from me if I took yours."

Kayla wanted to be firm and agree, but her tongue swelled in her mouth, with something itching at the back of her mind that told her not to sound petty and vindictive. A question kept nagging at her, the same question Kiri once asked her. What would she have done if she was in Neytiri's place that night? It was a scenario she couldn't imagine in her head, even if she could imagine a lot.

She hesitates, her posture relaxing and less guarded as she softly asks, "Can... can you explain it to me? So that I can try to understand?"

A visible wince flashed over Neytiri's expression, her eyes wide with distress in response to Kayla's question. Neytiri wasn't sure she could describe what she felt... not without breaking down, that is. Then again, it had been the first time anyone had asked her how she felt instead of just assuming and giving her time to herself. She didn't want that anymore. She's had plenty of time to herself, and a part of her was angry at everyone who continued to give her a wide berth. Solitude was something she no longer needed, and she wanted everyone to stop treating her like she was going to break.

Perhaps talking about it was something Neytiri needed just as much as Kayla in order to feel some sort of comfort. The idea makes her take a deep breath and slowly answer, "It is not the same as losing a parent, in my eyes. I lost my father, and even though I miss him every day, we are told that our parents will join Eywa before us and that they will be waiting for us there when we eventually do the same. For a child... it's different. A parent should always go before their child. That should always be the way of things... and that was stolen from me. You might not know this, but you should be prepared for when Ronal has her child. When we are born, the first tsaheylu is with our mother. To form that strong and emotional bond. To lose the first child I ever bonded with--"

Kayla's tail and ears lower, blinking rapidly to contain hidden pain, her imagination running wild with everything Neytiri had described. It helped that Neytiri was trying to explain it... but Kayla couldn't imagine how it must feel for a grieving mother to say all of this out loud.

Neytiri sucks in a sharp, wheezing breath, but it wavers and her lips begin to quiver. Her eyes grow wet with tears as her hand reaches up to try and gently claw at her chest, visibly and verbally shaking, "The pain for my father and even my sister do not compare... I feel as though I have a gaping wound in my chest that will not stop bleeding. It's always there, ever flowing, and I cannot take a breath without remembering it. My baby who I had kept safe inside me for so long... suddenly ripped from my arms before he could find love... or have a family... or be the olo'eyktan he was always meant to be... I had always wanted to see him as a father, and now I will never have that."

Saying it out loud felt as though she was living Neteyam's death all over again. Fresh tears spilled down Neytiri's beautiful face, carving a familiar path down her cheeks as a sob interrupted her explanation. Her chest squeezed painfully, and her sobs only got worse as Kayla suddenly reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace, purposely hiding Neytiri's face as the grieving mother continued to cry her heart out, wishing she could just be numb. Neytiri didn't miss the way Kayla buried her own wet face to hide from the world, nuzzled into Neytiri's shoulder. The female Na'vi continued to sob, and even though the grief was still too fresh, it helped to have finally put it all into words. It helped to know that someone was trying to understand her when she felt as though everyone else could only pity her.

"I'm sorry..." Kayla whispered as Neytiri's cries began to subside, "I could never imagine what that feels like."

Neytiri didn't miss how her shoulder felt wet where Kayla's face lay, and something inside the Na'vi woman snapped into place. She didn't want Kayla to imagine. She didn't even want Kayla to understand because that would mean having her sister-in-law go through the same agony she went through. Neytiri didn't want anyone to go through the loss of a child, let alone her husband's dear sister. The thought of having Kayla go through pain similar to hers nearly brought Neytiri to anger. Determined and dry of her tears, Neytiri pulled away, lifting her hands to rest gently on Kayla's shoulders, fixing her with a sharp eye.

"I do not want you to ever experience this pain. I do not want you to end up like me, ma tsmuke."

Kayla shook her head, "There's nothing that says it's wrong to end up like you. You're a good woman and a good mother. You're fiercely protective of your children. Any mother would thrive if they were even remotely like you," watching doubt and pain creep back up Neytiri's face drives Kayla to quickly add, "And I was wrong if I ever suggested otherwise. I never blamed you for protecting your children, Neytiri."

"I know," the Na'vi woman whispers, eyes briefly lowering to the ground in shame, "But I should have never belittled you for protecting yours."

The two women stand in silence once more, now filled with understanding as two mothers protecting their young. With her newfound determination, Neytiri raises her head high, straightens her posture, and stiffly nods, "If you'll allow me, I will go apologize to the boy."

Kayla is silent for the moment, carefully watching Neytiri before slowly replying, "... I better not hear that you hurt him again."

"You won't."

And with that, both women nod and part ways. Neytiri moves back in the direction of her ikran while Kayla stands still and watches her leave. Wiping the remaining tear tracks on her face as she walked, a thought crossed Neytiri's mind, making her pause in her tracks. A brief memory of Sylwanin flashes through her mind, happy and glowing as she tells Neytiri that Tsu'tey had begun courting her. It was a small pain in her heart at the memory, a small pinprick of a needle, faint but still causing her heart to bleed at the thought of her sister. Swiftly turning back around, Neytiri briefly sees Sylwanin in the flesh, standing there with a beaming smile before the facade fades, and reverts back to Makayla, whose head was tilted while quizzically watching Neytiri.

Neytiri's breath stuttered for a moment before the words began to tumble from her mouth, "For what it is worth, ma tsmuke, I am happy for you. If Ronal or Tonowari or either of them hurt you, I will kill them for you."

The words briefly stun Kayla, eyes wide and jaw open with shock, before the spell breaks and she finds herself laughing. The needle in Neytiri's heart fades, along with the pain of her sister's memory. Neytiri found herself smiling as well, proud that she pulled such a reaction from her new sister.

~~~~~~~~~

As promised, Spider came home before dinner, and Kayla looked up from cleaning her AR with a smile, "Hey, kiddo."

"Do you have to do that a lot?" Spider tilts his head down at the weapon with curiosity, then briefly looks back at his charge, "Will it not work otherwise?"

Kayla rolls her lips, unsure of how to explain to a child who prefers the life of a Na'vi compared to humans. She shakes her head, "It could jam, for one. I have to clean it for the same reason you have to eat. It needs to function."

Spider nods and says nothing else, which sounds off a dozen other bells in Kayla's head, quick to understand that his questions and attempt at small talk usually meant something else was going on and he was deflecting. She knows that behavior all too well. She sets the weapon aside and gives all her attention to the teen, knowingly smirking at him, "What's up?"

His eyes immediately dart away, arms folding in around him as if to protect what little there was left to hide. He looked embarrassed, ashamed he had been caught as he mumbled under his breath, "Neytiri apologized."

Her expression melts into something solemn and sincere, nodding once, "I know."

"Did you make her?" He asked with suspicion in his gaze.

"No, but she asked me if she could."

"How come?"

Kayla shrugged, feigning innocence as she tried to play nonchalantly, "I'm guessing she was under the impression I didn't want her anywhere near you."

He stared at her for a while, unconvinced, "Right."

Then he moved on to the next topic, "'You gonna break your link tonight?"

Kayla groaned quietly, playfully rolling her eyes up at the ceiling of the marui, "Yeah. Norm radioed earlier to pester me, and I figured I'd see how everyone was doing. 'You need me to tell him anything?"

"My spares' got plenty of battery. I'll be good for a while. Tell everyone I said hi."

"You got it."

~~~~~~~~~

She wakes in the link bay with a queasy stomach and a splitting headache.

It wasn't nearly as bad as the last time she broke her link, but the moment the blinding lights of the biolab flashed in Kayla's face as the lid of the gurney was lifted, she felt her stomach turn and she had to bite the inside of her cheek.

Sitting up with a stifled groan, Kayla holds her head in her hand, trying to stop the bright room from spinning. Norm, dutifully standing beside her with his arms crossed, decided not to beat around the bush, even in her weakened state,

"You can't keep doing this, ya know. Staying back there for long periods of time is going to kill your body here, one day at a time. It's safe to say you've reached the limit of human-avatar links."

"Maybe that's a good thing, Norm," Kayla muttered, able to roll her shoulders back and sit up straight without feeling dizzy, "With data like that, the RDA won't be able to get the go-ahead with building avatars for civilians. This can keep them at bay for a while."

"But it's not a good thing for you, Kayla."

"I know. I just..." she tried waving it off, avoiding Norm's narrowed gaze like a child being scolded, "I just need a little more time."

Norm scoffed, unimpressed, "You're stubborn. Just like your brother."

When that doesn't pull a reaction out of her, Spellman decides to break more bad news, "There's more. Scouts have reported seeing a rogue ikran dressed in military gear flying through the mountains, and it's pretty close to our base. They've confirmed the rider to be Colonel Miles Quaritch."

Clouded eyes flick briefly to Norm, widened with shock before Kayla looks away again, exhaling her opinion, "Fuck."

"I thought maybe you could tell Jake for me when you get back."

Kayla is silent for a few moments before she replies, "No. No, let's not tell him."

"What?" Norm rustled.

"If we tell Jake, he'll just wanna come back and track Quaritch down. Maybe that's what Quaritch wants. Right now, Jake needs to be with his family instead of looking for revenge."

Kayla's eyes return to her friend's, wide and pleading, "Please, Norm. Please don't tell him."

They have a silent stand-off, the occasional sound of machinery breaking said silence. Eventually, Norm's posture sinks in defeat, making him look smaller and older than he actually is, "... Fine."

"Swear it."

"I swear it... unless he asks me."

Kayla scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Fine."

"... When you say you need more time, I meant when I said you're just like your brother."

She silently watched him with confusion but didn't verbally ask what he meant, waiting for him to elaborate. Norm looks off to a far wall, recounting very distant memories he hadn't thought of in years, "He was also running out of time, and he was getting desperate. He said he needed more time; time to see Neytiri again."

When Norm looked back at Kayla, he noticed she was purposely keeping her own gaze glued to the floor, her long matted hair covering most of her face, mumbling to a point where he struggled to hear her, "It's not like that this time."

"You're lying." Norm immediately retorts, taking a gamble on his theory when Kayla doesn't immediately try to defend herself. They both knew she was lying only to herself, and Norm didn't hesitate to point it out, "Something's changed."

Seeing no point in lying or keeping it secret, Kayla sighs, "Tonowari and Ronal have officially asked to court me."

Norm's eyes widen, "And...?"

"I agreed but asked to wait on the rest of it until I'm officially one of the People."

"Smart..." He couldn't help it. He needed to lighten the mood and feel a little smug. Norm deserved that much as a boastful smile spread across his face, "Also 'I told you so.'"

Kayla scowls, her eyes finally looking up at him to express how stolid she felt, "Dick."

He snorts, unaffected, finally moving to sit down next to her on the gurney, "So... do they know about... you know... the fact you can't have kids?"

Her posture visibly stiffened, "It didn't come up, no."

"That's probably something you need to discuss with them, Kayla, and soon."

"I know."

His hand reaches out to lightly tap her knee, "I am not saying that it'll be a deal-breaker for them. I don't think they'll care, to be honest. But you don't keep secrets from the people you love."

"Hey," she nudged him back, trying to force a teasing smile on her face, "Why do you think I'm telling you all this?"

"How sweet," Norm scoffs goodnaturedly, "But that's just you trying to deflect."

~~~~~~~~~

It was strange being able to sleep in the shack again, and even more strange to be the only occupant. Kayla looked around the tiny man-made space, eyes flicking to her bunk, the desk, the small kitchenette, and then the vacant wheelchair she never had the heart to throw out when she first arrived at High Camp. It now lay folded up and leaning against the corner wall, former white letters that spelled 'Sully' now unrecognizable. A fond smile graced her lips when she thought back to the three weeks she and Spider stayed here and the teenager struggled to figure out how to balance on the accessible chair as it rocked on its back wheels. The attempt ended with him falling and rolling backward and leaving Kayla in a fit of uncontrollable laughter that he eventually joined.

The thought of her boy made her chest squeeze uncomfortably for a moment, the feeling of loneliness suddenly very apparent in this small shack. How strange that she was sitting in a place she had once tried to call home, but now she felt homesick for an island that was oceans away, or in her case, one neural link away. Realistically, she could go lay down in a link bay and wake up in her marui, awaken to Spider's nivi swinging slowly just off to the side of hers as he sleeps. Kayla shook her head and smiled to herself, amused at the idea of walking to the link bay only to be intercepted by either Norm or Max, both men who had adamantly told her not to link back until it was early morning in Awa'atlu so both her human and avatar form could receive separate reprieve.

As much as she would like to entertain the idea of rest, the lingering silence in her shack made it feel as though the walls were closing in around her. Kayla knew she wouldn't be able to sleep if she were alone, so she kept herself busy instead, starting with her overgrown hair.

Looking into the mirror that night, a small sense of normalcy returned when she had managed to cut her hair to the same short length she had when she first arrived on Pandora. While her reflection didn't initially scare her anymore without any matted long hair or sunken eyes, Kayla still had a hard time recognizing the woman in the mirror without blue skin or a piercing yellow gaze. It felt wrong and her skin prickled and itched with this revelation. A twisted part inside of her wanted to try and scratch her face off until she recognized it, but she refrained from doing so, knowing how delusional it sounded. It felt as though she was living in someone else's body and she needed to return to hers despite the logical voice in her head reminding her that she was born in this body, as a human, not a Na'vi, and she was foolish to believe otherwise.

The unrealistic voice in her head argued that there was nothing wrong with being a little foolish.

~~~~~~~~~

Waking in her avatar gave Kayla a wave of relief, sitting up in her hammock and stretching as if she had never left. The worries of the night before are immediately forgotten as she and Spider venture out of the home to search for friends and family.

The three reef children Spider has been associating himself with were the first of the day to greet them, and it was clear that the silent news of the Metkayina's clan leaders' courtship was not lost to their children. Kayla was surprised when Tsireya ran up and hugged the older woman's waist, the girl giddy and unable to contain her bright smile. Spider tilts his head curiously at the interaction but otherwise says nothing.

Kayla took a peek at the girl's brother and saw a slightly different story. Ao'nung was glaring, but not at Kayla or Spider. Ao'nung was scowling at Rotxo, the latter of whom looked gobsmacked while staring up at Kayla, unable to hide his shock even as he turned to his best friend to see his reaction. Ao'nung only scoffed and shoved Rotxo's surprised face away with one hand, mumbling to Spider that they should get a move on.

"Where are we going?" Spider asked curiously.

"Father wanted to show you how to weave our fishing baskets."

His play on words wasn't lost to the group, certainly not to Kayla and Spider. The adult avatar managed to hold back the wince at the thought of Spider silently noting how Ao'nung didn't say 'my father', but did her best to pretend she didn't even notice. Instead, Kayla decided to follow Ao'nung and Spider to the chieftain's marui, while Tsireya and Rotxo had split up to do some chores, promising to catch up with the other reef and Sully kids later.

Tonowari greeted them as they entered, both he and Kayla sharing a secret smile as she crouched down beside him. Having many obligations around the village yesterday, the olo'eyktan had only been able to see Kayla from a distance and had yet to get a better look at how she appeared in her new top apart from what Ronal had described to him. Kayla could tell how much he enjoyed seeing her wearing his courting gift by the way his large hand grazed over her skin, encompassing her back whenever both Ao'nung and Spider were occupied with the task he had given them.

The two teenagers were busy weaving large pieces of what would eventually become a fishing basket between them, taking up a lot of floor space with the amount of dry grass, seaweed, and pliant wood being used to fashion and form such a large item. Tonowari was mostly instructing Spider on how to do it since Ao'nung was already skilled in basket weaving, but the chief's son was also impatient and this served as a way to tame such impulse. The olo'eyktan works effortlessly alongside them, his words gentle yet stern,

"Work together, like brothers. You are building a house. You're building your village. You're building a family."

Kayla restrains her smile, despite how warm her chest felt while watching the three of them work together in weaving. She allowed herself to play at the idea of this image being hers one day without trying to get her hopes up. As she watches Tonowari instruct Ao'nung and Spider to take turns weaving their basket pieces together, she gives into the desire to call them 'my boys'... but only in her head.

~~~~~~~~~

Flashing lights, spinning faster and faster while his eyes are forced wide open to watch, feeling as though something sharp was penetrating his skull, embedding itself into his memories...

His screams go unheard this time, and no one comes to stop the machine, not even Quaritch, as the blood drips from his nose, bare skin cold against metal. Spider feels as though his head is going to explode--

Sitting up in his nivi, Spider finds himself gasping for air while his eyes try to get accustomed to darkness... no flashing lights in sight. His hammock gently swings with him as he moves, his mind taking an embarrassingly long time to remember where he was. Spider takes a bunch of large, greedy gulps of air, his breathing mask hissing in tandem, while he looks around the marui to remember he isn't alone.

Kayla was sitting up in her hammock and carefully watching him. Spider's mind briefly felt shame for being responsible for waking her, but he was too busy breathing to form an apology. It's not like she would accept it anyway. The two of them have already spent countless nights waking up due to Spider's nightmares, and Kayla has been adamant in assuring him that he wasn't at fault for any of it. Once she knows Spider is aware of her presence, Kayla silently stands up and moves over to the kid, standing over his nivi as he's sitting up, starting to relax.

When trying to talk, his throat felt raw and his voice only added to it, "... Hey."

"Hey," Kayla bravely reaches out to cup the back of his head, her hand a gentle, warm weight that feels a lot better than a cold, metal slab, "Was it the scanner again?"

He nods, but the moment Kayla goes to step away, something inside him panics. It felt stupid and childish, but Spider couldn't stop the impulse that made his arms move around Kayla's torso and pull her into a tight hug, pressing his mask up against her ribs as his body started to uncontrollably shake.

Kayla froze, arms raised in the air with hesitancy, blinking multiple times to ensure she was still wide awake and not just imagining this. The teenager only burrows further into her as if she had just found him lost in a shopping mall. For several seconds, she didn't even dare to breathe so as not to spook him before she eventually began to relax and gently settle her large arms around his shoulders, her voice softer than before,

"Alright... it's alright, Spider. You're safe now. What do you need?"

"Just," Spider huffed, feeling incredibly stupid yet distressed at the same time. He knows he shouldn't be acting so small and meek, but the idea of going back to sleep terrified him, "Talk. About anything."

The marui is filled with silence as Kayla wracks her brain to come up with things to say, and then decides that now might as well be as good of a time as any, especially if it meant helping distract Spider from his nightmares, "... Ronal and Tonowari have asked me to be their mate."

Initially, he's quiet while digesting the news, but he's honestly not surprised. He thinks back to the way both clan leaders and even their children had been treating him differently today and the day before. It explains the certain looks Spider has seen other Metkayina give Kayla and her new attire... and it would possibly explain Neytiri's sudden apology to him.

Instead of pointing all of these signs out to his guardian, Spider just snorts in his mask and keeps his arms around her waist, "I told you so."

"Shut up," Kayla huffed under her breath, but even he could tell there was no heat behind it, especially since her arms only tightened around him, "I'm not taking an 'I told you so' remark from a sixteen-year-old, especially since I already got that from Norm. I'm dense, okay?"

Spider laughed and let the silence linger for a minute before reopening his mouth, "... So? Did you accept?"

"Not entirely. I told them I wanted to wait until after my Iknimaya is complete."

"Makes sense. That's usually the way it goes. Courting sometimes lasts years for the Na'vi, so it's not entirely something they wouldn't be used to. You did the right thing."

Kayla's tail leisurely sways behind her, the tone in her voice sounding hopeful, "You think so?"

He closes his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to feel like a child for once, to be held and comforted before he answers quietly, "Yeah. I do."

~~~~~~~~~

While it was an honest answer, there were slightly different intentions behind it. Spider was impressed by the way Kayla handled her courtship, and any respectable Na'vi would approve of her mature decision to wait. However, Spider now felt as though he was racing against the clock, and at least this way, he still had some time to prove himself useful.

Now that he was proven right that Ronal and Tonowari did, in fact, wish to mate with Kayla, Spider felt the need to work harder and become a more willing and helpful individual. He did what he could without the ability to connect with a tswin and tried to always give a helping hand whenever and wherever. Offering help wasn't hard, especially if he offered it to Tsireya since she always had something for him to do, but some Na'vi still have a hard time accepting Spider's help for... obvious reasons.

But even if the Metkayina didn't want his help, the human teen wasn't just going to lie down in defeat. He found many ways of helping around the village, either by his friends' side or himself, now that everyone wasn't as worried about leaving him alone. Other than to help with chores, Spider barely spent time with his friends outside of work, too busy trying to keep himself relevant. He wanted-- no, needed to pull his weight, too ashamed of the idea of being useless to the point he would get left behind again. As silly as he felt for still having such fears... it was still warranted. He wanted to give the Metkayina a chance to trust him and consider him a viable part of this village so they wouldn't make him leave. As much as he missed the Forest, he couldn't bear the thought of going back alone. So if his friends and his... guardian were staying here, then so was he, and he was determined to prove that he deserved to stay here.

These thoughts plagued him almost every waking moment and thus distracted him from the world around him. While Spider was busy gutting and cleaning some fish Lo'ak had caught, he was approached by the very clan leaders he sought to impress, but hadn't noticed their presence until they spoke,

"Hello, Spider."

Spider's posture straightens instinctively in response to Tonowari's strong voice. Looking to his right, the teenager glanced up and met eyes with the olo'eyktan, standing tall beside his mate and greeting the boy with a pleasant smile. Spider stood up and appropriately greeted the clan leaders with a gesture of his hand and a small, almost sheepish smile, "Hello."

"Is your bow of any use?"

It was difficult to see behind the mask, but Tonowari could've sworn Spider's eyes brightened at the mention of his bow, "It's solid and nicely made. Thanks again."

"Of course."

Spider briefly glanced at the silent Ronal, and he felt as though he imagined the smile on the tsahik's face and quickly looked away to pretend he didn't see it, "Uh... is there anything I can do for you two?"

While Ronal may or may not have been smiling, Spider dared to describe Ronal's tone as sounding almost light when she spoke, "There might be."

Tonowari chuckled at her being vague and decided to specify for the boy who looked between the two of them with such confusion, "We came to ask for your blessing."

The boy tilts his head, "My... blessing?"

"To court your guardian, Makayla te Suli."

Spider appeared uneasy by their motive, crossing his arms over his chest while the confusion was still evident, "Why are you asking me? Shouldn't you be asking Jake?"

Ronal snorts lightheartedly, "Makayla has been vocal about who we should and shouldn't be asking for permission. It's not her brother's approval she wants, it's yours."

He stood there, motionless, trying to figure out the ever-growing puzzle in his head that was made in Kayla's image. He didn't know why she would tell both of her future mates to seek him out over Jake, someone who was related to her by blood, despite their differences. While Spider understood that Makayla felt responsible for him, that didn't mean he was suddenly entitled to any life-changing decisions she had to make. It's not like her decision to join Ronal and Tonowari's family would affect Spider... much.

The idea of being left in an empty marui came to mind, but he quickly stomped the image down, glancing off toward the ocean as he finally gave the two clan leaders his answer, "Then... yeah, I guess it's fine."

~~~~~~~~~

They must have told Kayla his answer, because once she returned home, Spider was met with a cautious look in her eyes,

"And you're really okay with this?" She asked without even greeting him.

Knowing what she was talking about without even asking, Spider only looked at her with the same confusion he had given Ronal and Tonowari, "Yeah?"

"Kid, I'm not doing anything that's going to make you uncomfortable."

Guilt ate away at his stomach, his sole purpose of trying to remain useful to the Metkayina still at the forefront of his mind. He didn't want Kayla to hold herself back for the sake of his comfort. That would only make him a burden and that was the last thing he wanted. He needed to prove that he didn't need her should the day come when she moved into the chieftain's marui and he was left behind.

Trying to keep his expression neutral, Spider tried to explain this to her without having to go into detail about his insecurities, "They're going to be your family someday, not mine."

Realization dawns on Kayla as her eyes widen, "Is that what you want?" When he doesn't answer, keeping his head lowered, Kayla tries a different approach when she feels as though she was onto something, "'Cause personally, I'd rather have you with me on this. I go where you go, kiddo and anyone who gets with me will have to deal with that."

Stunned, he looked up at her with disbelief, unable to help how accusatory his voice sounded, "Why? Why do you care so much?"

There it is. A question that should've been asked a long time ago, but Spider had always been afraid to ask, so confident that he wouldn't like the answer. As for Kayla, she had always been afraid of the day he'd finally ask her because she wasn't sure if she would be able to say the right thing or even give an honest answer. Half the time, she knew she was winging it when it came to taking care of Spider, but... isn't that what most people have been telling her parenting is all about? As much as she wished to continue being stubborn about it or outright refuse it, Kayla had to admit to herself that even if she would never be Spider's mother, she was the closest thing he had to a parental figure. And... she knew, deep down, that's what she wanted but she had been putting her own wants aside if it meant that's not what Spider wanted.

But clearly, he wanted to make sense as to why she wanted him to be comfortable with their new clan leaders, along with everything that came with them, so finally, Kayla took a deep breath and put it all out on the table, "Because you're a kid, Spider, and you deserve a family. I'm asking you if I can officially be your family. And who knows, maybe one day Ronal, Tonowari, and their kids could be your family."

Spider sucked in a sharp breath of air without realizing it, the soft hiss of his mask filling the marui. His nerves made him want to instinctually laugh it off like she was joking, but he didn't picture Kayla to be the kind of person who joked about such things, especially when he was involved. Replaying her words in his head, he almost believed he imagined it; like it was muffled in the back of his mind because that's what he wanted to hear her say... and yet the words had matched up with her mouth as she spoke... had he imagined it?

There was a small, nasty voice in the back of his head telling him that of course, he imagined it because why in her right mind would Kayla want to be his family? He's nothing but trouble and Kayla was being courted by the leaders of the Metkayina, two respected individuals whose image would surely be ruined by Spider's very presence.

Another small, more kind voice in his head told Spider that Kayla was right and that he deserved to have a family. Sure, it might not be the family he was born into or the family he had wanted practically his whole life, but it could be his, the family he actually needed. He thought of Ao'nung and Tsireya, two Na'vi who had become such unlikely friends... and yet they could be more? Ronal and Tonowari, who have been decent to him, could potentially be more?

Of course, there's also Kayla, the female avatar who looked unsure as she stood before Spider, staring down at him with fear as if she had said the wrong thing. He couldn't possibly hope that this was her intention, and so he swallowed the dryness in his throat before hesitantly replying,

"So... you're not asking if I'm comfortable about this for... other reasons?"

She frowned, "What other reasons?"

"I don't know..." he shrugged and found himself looking away, sheepish to admit it, "I thought you were asking me all this to make sure I would be okay with getting left alone again when you inevitably go to be with them."

He didn't see the way Kayla's eyes briefly widen in horror before she cursed under her breath, crouching down beside him while bravely placing a hand on his shoulder to gain his attention, "Shit, Spider-- I'm sorry. I can see why that looked bad. No, I'm not leaving you alone just because I intend on seeing someone. I take my responsibilities very seriously, thank you very much."

Ah, yes. Responsibilty. That's who he was to Kayla. It was a good reminder for Spider not to get his hopes up, a reminder that Kayla was a parental figure, but she could never be more than that. He didn't dare glance over at the bookshelf where his mother's picture was displayed, not wanting Kayla to misinterpret anything.

"... Okay."

Kayla's eyebrows furrow, trying not to appear hopeful, "Okay?"

He nods, "Okay."

Kayla smiled then, more confidently and unaware of Spider's hidden thoughts, but he smiled back, regardless. She squeezed his shoulder once more before pulling away, humming with a small, playful tone in her voice as she mentioned, "You know, eventually we'll have to move in with them, right? Are you comfortable with that? You know that families usually pile together at night."

Spider's face slowly begins to contort with uncertainty, "... You and I aren't used to that."

"Nope. We're not."

Nervously, he smiles, "Shit. Is that a dealbreaker?"

The laughter Kayla let out was cheerful and full of life. It was also contagious as Spider found himself laughing as well, and despite his doubt, there was a small bit of weight that had to been lifted from his shoulders. Despite being unsure of what the future holds for him... at the very least, there was going to be someone to keep him safe. Whether or not Kayla could be his family she mentioned, there was also the uncertainty of whether or not the clan leaders and their children would think the same. Either way, his acceptance clearly made Kayla happy, and he didn't want to ruin that with his insecurities.

~~~~~~~~~

If there's one thing Jake can confidently say about his sister, it's that if she wants him to know something, she'll tell him.

It was obvious to everyone that Kayla was not afraid to tell Jake whatever she was thinking. She's not afraid to speak her mind to him, no matter how brutal, and while there are times that Jake secretly appreciates it, lately it's been disheartening due to recent... obvious incidents.

So, when Kayla avoided him for two days, Toruk Makto enjoyed the peace and quiet, but Neytiri gave him a knowing expression that told him he wasn't being very true to himself in those moments. He eventually had to admit to himself that the silence was getting to him and he would've preferred his little sister yelling at him than straight up avoiding his presence. He eventually gave in and sought her out on the third day.

He finds his sister in her marui with Spider that morning, rolling up their separate nivi and getting prepared for the day ahead. Jake watches them for a moment, still unsure of how to address them if neither was going to admit they were mother and son, before announcing his presence. Kayla, once laid back and content, ready to face the day, now looked tense and wary at the sound of her brother's voice. Jake tried not to let it bother him, keeping his expression neutral as he offered to assist Kayla with any chores she had.

She agreed, with reluctance, and moved to meet him in the doorway. Jake did his best to keep his face impassive, but he struggled when Kayla walked close enough to the point he could catch a whiff of her scent. It was by no means her own, or the one Jake had affiliated as his sister whenever she was near. It smelled familiar, but it wasn't Kayla's and while it was faint, it was definitely new. It bothered him for a moment as both he and Kayla walked out of the marui together,his brain trying to conjure where he had smelled that particular scent before. While Jake wanted to mention it, he wisely doesn't say a word for many reasons. The whole scent debacle was a Na'vi thing and he could understand if Kayla wasn't entirely comfortable about the concept, and she may not understand it fully herself.

And like before, he knows that if there's something Kayla wants him to know, she'll tell him.

Kayla had asked Jake to help her with a canoe she's been wanting to make for a while now, and so together they conjured up the necessary supplies and started hauling it all back to her pod. She trailed behind Jake, silent for the most part, and the tension in the air was palpable, almost worse than the silent treatment she had been giving her brother for a few days. Jake knew something was right on the tip of her tongue, practically hearing the gears in her head without even needing to see her face as he walked in front of her. It was the same, intense silence he remembered experiencing when she was younger, right before she came out to her brothers. Tommy, ever the nurturing sibling, was worried for Kayla and had gently told her that if there was something she'd like to get off her chest, he and Jake would always hear her out, and no matter what, they would always be there for her.

Jake felt his chest squeeze painfully at the memory, so he was glad to distract himself from it when Kayla's voice suddenly spoke up from behind him,

"Jake."

He continued to walk towards her home as it drew near, ear tilted back in her direction, over his shoulder, "Hm?"

"There's something I got to tell you--"

She paused, and before Jake could ask her to elaborate, a soft thud from behind him gently rattled the woven pathway beneath his feet, followed by the sound of a large splash. Jake frowned and turned back around, only for his sister to no longer be standing there. In her place, was the basket of supplies she had been carrying, the contents spilled across the walkway and even rolling into the water below, the soft plopping sound of small items crashing into the water filling the air while Kayla was nowhere to be seen.

Something heavy falls in Jake's gut, as his ears point up and dance around in alertness. He reacts fast by quickly setting down his items and sprinting to the edge of the path, looking down into the water.

"Kayla!"

He sees a small shadow, quickly growing smaller as it sinks further into the water. It was the only thing that crossed his mind before diving into the sea.

The loud splash followed by Jake's distressed voice calling out to Makayla grabbed Spider's attention and steps out of the kelku, just in time to see the revered Toruk Makto diving straight into the water, abandoning baskets full of spilled supplies all along the pathway in his panicked rush. Spider's heart plummets in the five seconds Jake was underwater, and when the older man had yet to break the surface, Spider found himself running down the woven path toward the spot Jake had jumped from, even if he didn't believe he could be much help to a large, full-sized Na'vi, fearing the worst.

By the time Spider reached the deserted supplies scattered across the walkway, Jake had finally resurfaced, gasping for air while water spilled into his eyes and ears. The former marine struggled to paddle with just one arm back toward the path walk while trying to keep a fully grown female avatar afloat, her closed eyes doing nothing to help the panic begin to eat away at her brother's chest.

Despite being small, Spider scrambled to help Jake lift Kayla's body out of the water, hooking his arms underneath hers and lifting with all his might with a soft grunt. Jake helped by lifting Kayla's legs out of the water, and once she was lying across the pathway on her back, Jake lifted himself out of the water before frantically crawling over to her, gently shoving Spider out of Kayla's space so he could inspect her for injuries.

Nothing visible appeared to be wrong with her, but Kayla's eyes remained closed and when Jake initially dragged her out of the water, he couldn't help but notice how lifeless her body moved. Or, in a sense, didn't move.

"Hey!" Jake practically yelled in her face, his hand beginning to gently pat her cheek, only for the motion to grow into harsher slaps the longer she refused to open her eyes.

The panic that was beginning to rise up to Jake's throat only added to the stern, angry tone in his voice as he yelled at his sister's face, "Heyheyhey, wake up. Kayla!"

"Kayla?" Spider's voice called out, less afraid of sounding panicked while fear was evident behind his mask when directing his attention to Jake, "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know..." Jake initially replied before pausing his train of thought, a sinking feeling of familiarity washing over him when he started to analyze Kayla's symptoms and recognize the signs. It had been over a decade... but he'd seen this happen before, and the thought scared him.

"Spider, do you have your flashlight?"

Without asking for an explanation, Spider hands him the flashlight he kept in a small pouch of necessities he had tied around his loincloth.

"There we go..." Jake mutters under his breath almost as if trying to soothe and reassure himself, turning on the flashlight before leaning over Kayla's face. He takes his free hand and forces one of her eyelids to peel back, shining the bright light directly into her eye before moving on to the other one.

Her pupils don't move or even dilate, confirming Jake's growing fear, "Shit. She's not in there."

"What?" Spider croaked, suddenly hating the way his eyes felt warm.

"She's not in there," Jake automatically explained, "Something or someone interrupted her link."

Jake tries catching his breath, willing himself to regain a bit of self-control. He didn't want to assume the worst, but at the very least, Kayla wasn't dead, and her avatar didn't appear to be injured. For all he knew, Kayla had simply woken up hundreds of miles away, among their human allies and the Omatikaya. He'll just have to make a call back to High Camp and they can sort out this small situation. Nothing major...

He kept telling himself that as he bent down and lifted Kayla up into his arms, supporting her back and the crook of her legs while trying to maneuver around Spider, "Hang on-- watch out. Let's get her back to my place."

Spider dutifully follows, bounding down the woven path just to be able to catch up to Jake's long strides, the boy's eyes never leaving Kayla's avatar, "What do we do?"

"Let me try and contact Norm."

The walk back to the Sully marui felt like forever, with Jake trying to stamp down his growing anxiety the longer it took to get back. When they finally arrived, Jake and Spider brought Kayla inside only to find themselves alone, with no one else home. Jake gently lays Kayla down and immediately beelines for his long-range radio, gripping the device harshly as he speaks into it,

"Dirty Falcon, Dirty Falcon, do you read me? This is Devil Dog, over."

Jake releases the button and waits, the pod filled with static and silence. Spider kneels down beside Kayla's head, staring at Jake's radio with a rising, fluttering feeling in his chest that makes chills rise across his skin. As he and Jake continued to sit in silence, the lack of response on Norm's end was palpable.

Jake could hear his own heart racing in his ears as he brought the radio to his mouth once more, "Norm, it's Jake. Are you there? Norm?"

Silence.

"Norm? Norm?"

~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't sure how many times he had tried calling High Camp as minutes turned into hours. Whether it was six or seven attempts, Toruk Makto had begun to inspect the radio to ensure it was even working, not wanting to entertain the thought that something might be wrong on the other end of the communication. Each time he spoke into the radio and then stopped to wait for a response, he couldn't help the glances he'd send over to Spider. Each time, as the silence lingered between each call, the teenager's face only fell further and it made Jake's chest feel like lead. By the time the suns were at the highest peak in the sky, the village stirred with whispers about Makayla te Suli's collapse. As people gradually learned what had happened, Jake found his home being bombarded with not only his wife and children as they raced back to the pod but other Na'vi as well, much to his surprise.

Some of his children's friends were also present. Ao'nung and Tsireya were with Lo'ak when they heard about what happened to Kayla and immediately came running back to the marui with him, concern etched on their young faces. Jake watched with confusion as the reef siblings moved like a well-oiled machine. Ao'nung, as if on instinct, knelt down beside Spider, inspecting Kayla's avatar while Tsireya sternly let Lo'ak know that she was going to fetch her parents.

Jake heard this but didn't register the words until the young girl was already heading out the door, and by then it was already too late to stop her. Lo'ak quickly distracted his father from his racing thoughts when he asked what had happened to his aunt. By the time Jake recounted the events, the rest of the Sullys were speeding into the marui and Tsireya had returned with the clan leaders.

Ronal was like a tidal wave as she bounded into the Sullys' home, a fearsome expression in her eyes that would immediately make any normal man flinch had Jake not been exposed to Grace Augustine's own ferocity,

"And why have you brought her back here instead of to me?"

"Because she's not injured and this has nothing to do with spirituality," Jake found himself saying robotically, instinctively falling into the role of Toruk Makto to help him not acknowledge the hidden anxiety deep in his gut, "Makayla's human form must have woken up and that's why she collapsed here. She's... she's no longer possessing this body."

Tonowari hovers over his mate like a protective shadow as she bends down over Kayla's avatar, the olo'eyktan's eyes hardened with determination to find a solution as he addresses Jake, "Is that normal?"

Jake's ears pin back, eyes unfocused for a moment, "No, it's not. This only happens if someone is forced out of their Na'vi body. I've seen it before."

Ronal grabs Kayla's chin to tilt the avatar's head to look up at her, "Makayla? Makayla, can you hear me?"

The formality had puzzled Jake for a moment, staring oddly at the tsahik as she continued to carefully inspect his sister's avatar. Peering over at his wife, he noticed Neytiri looking back at him, waiting patiently with her tail gently swaying behind her, the way she normally looked when she expected him to figure something out. Whatever it was, it would have to wait as Jake shook his head and turned back toward the radio, making contact his first priority.

"Dirty Falcon, Dirty Falcon, do you read me? This is Devil Dog, over." Jake pressed into the radio before letting go of the button, not as enthusiastic for a reply.

"What is happening?" Tonowari questioned.

"I've been trying to reach our human allies with the Omatikaya all afternoon, but so far no one's responding."

"And I take it that is not normal either?"

A shadow falls over Jake's eyes as he glares into the piece of technology in front of him, "No."

"J-- Jake! We have a situation."

A familiar voice suddenly buzzes through the device before being abruptly cut off. The whole room stills as if time had stopped. Jake hadn't noticed he was holding his breath as he stared down at the radio until his lungs burned and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. With a start, Jake greedily sucks in air as he quickly moves to grab the radio,

"Norm, what's going on?" He harshly demands, "What happened?"

"Lab compromised-- can't--"

The connection cuts off again but Jake doesn't give up, desperate for an answer, "Norm! Come on... Norm, do you copy? Where's Kayla?"

"She... She's gone!"

The air completely sucks out of his lungs, his brain scrambling for a reasonable explanation. He didn't have to look around to know that everyone else would be panicked and concerned as well. Ronal had stood up straight once more, standing near Kayla's feet as her expression reared back with affliction, her eyes darting to Tonowari as they both shared a look of genuine fright. Spider noticed their exchange out of the corner of his eye before looking back down at the body in front of him, his chest feeling tight as the news sunk in, his small hand leaning near Kayla's as if afraid that touching her hand would somehow evaporate her avatar's form. The lightest brush of skin against his elbow let him know that Ao'nung was still right beside him.

Jake could feel the rushing of his heartbeat pulsing loudly in his ears as he absorbed the information. All other rational thoughts jump out the window as he suddenly snaps and growled into the communication device, "What do you mean 'gone?' Norm, what the fuck happened?"

Neytiri didn't even have the heart to chastise her husband for such language in front of the children, her own mind spiraling at all of the possibilities that might have befallen her people, let alone Kayla. Tuk's hand instinctively reaches up to grab her mother's when she feels the older woman's distress, the air stale with tension as all eyes are fixed on the radio.

"I had to force an emergency shutdown on Kayla's link in progress," Norm finally manages to explain without the connection cutting him off, "High Camp had to evacuate because we thought our location might've been compromised. We all scattered and ran to hide and avoid capture, but when we made it to the rendevous she didn't show up-- And... she's not here, Jake. We went back to camp when the coast was clear and Kayla is the only one not accounted for."

That could mean anything, but Jake wasn't ready to make any conclusions until he got the full story, "Who compromised High Camp?"

"Quaritch."

The room felt silent once more, dread swimming in Jake's gut as he closed his eyes and heaved a large, exhausted sigh. One of his ears flicked in the direction he knew Kiri was kneeling down to wrap her arms protectively around Spider without even having to look.

"He had been sighted scouting the Hallelujah Mountains for days prior to this. We thought he might've finally found us so we dispersed."

Jake's head spun with emotions, trying not to let anger get the better of him as he clutched the radio, "Why didn't you call in these sightings to me? I would've come back."

"Because we thought he was after YOU, Jake. If you had come running back, he would've been there, waiting for you."

He took a deep breath, "Do we know for sure Quaritch has Kayla?"

"We're still looking, but... look-- Kayla grabbed a radio before we split up and scattered. There was a tracker, and when we got back, Max tried to access it, but the signal was lost nearly halfway to our rendevous point. If Quaritch snatched her, he could be anywhere by now."

"... So why Kayla? Did he take her to get to me?"

"That's what I thought originally. But Jake-- we don't think he's reporting back to Ardmore anymore."

Norm's words clearly surprise Jake, eyes briefly widening before they return to their normal shape. Unaware of Jake's reaction, Norm's voice continues to come in through the radio, "We've been monitoring RDA radio chatter and there were never any indicators that he never called in a strike against the camp. Ardmore didn't send an army, it was just him. I think he acted alone on this, against Ardmore's orders. Or maybe she doesn't know about it. All I know is he's after something or someone, whether it's you or something else, he knows that Kayla has what he wants."

Jake feels a weight of revelation sink in his stomach, slowly peering over his shoulder, only to find that Spider was already looking back at him. As expected, Kiri was kneeling behind her best friend and her long blue arms encompassed the human teen's shoulders, tightening further when her father's gaze landed on them. Spider doesn't move or even breathe for that matter, the kid's eyes wide with what could only be described as fear.

"I think I know what he's after," Jake muttered back into the radio, his eyes never leaving Spider's, "Let me get back to you with a plan, Norm."

He cuts contact on the radio and rushes to stand up. Kiri, assuming the worst after seeing the look in his eye when he gazed at Spider, speaks up before her father can even say a word, "Dad, you can't leave her! Not like when you left Spider!"

Jake winced, an apologetic expression directed at the boy in question before he straightened his posture, looking around at the room of Na'vi all staring at him expectedly. The weight of Toruk Makto was heavy on his shoulders once more... only this time it felt worse. The fear of failure was worse.

Quaritch likely has Kayla, and the very thought of the Recom holding his sister hostage brought that same, deep-rooted fear he had festered when Quaritch had taken his daughters. The haunted image of Quaritch's knife against Kayla's throat when they were fighting on the ship didn't help that fear. Looking over and meeting Neytiri's eyes, Jake saw that same haunted expression on her face, the look of someone who had lost so many of her loved ones to the colonel. Quaritch was responsible for her father's death, and the lives that were lost when Hometree fell. Quaritch was responsible for Tsu'tey, for Grace, for Trudy... Neteyam... Hell, he might have been the one held responsible for the death of Neytiri's sister, Sylwanin.

Turning back and taking one look at Spider's pleading eyes, Jake was desperate to ensure that Kayla wouldn't be added to Quaritch's growing list.

Jake's expression hardened, hiding away his thoughts while addressing Kiri, "I won't, baby girl. Not this time."

~~~~~~~~~

A/n: In between chapters, I asked for a couple of commissions from the following:

I'd like to thank @sullyfortress for this beautiful masterpiece of Kayla!

And @rocklobster0 for making this cute chibi art of Kayla/Tonowari/Ronal! You guys are amazing individuals and are so gifted😍Thank you so much!

#tsamsiyu ta'em fic #ronal x tonowari x oc #ronal x oc x tonowari #ronal x oc #tonowari x oc x ronal #tonowari x ronal x oc #tonowari x oc #tonowari x ronal #ronal x tonowari #atwow fic #atwow fics #atwow fanfic #atwow fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #atwow #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #james cameron avatar

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m-joys · 4 months ago

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Bay!Donnie: crush dates someone else

@thequeenofcupps :Hi! I was wondering if I can request bayverse Donatello where he finally manages to have enough courage to ask out reader but because he took to long reader is already dating someone? I want the angstiest angst that you can make 😇 also can it be hc’s?

A/n: saw this rn and had to write it. Lord give me angst♡ this also isn't proof read and English isn't my first language so sorry🙏

Even tho your first interaction with the turtles was quite...harsh to say the least, you just had to accept the four mutants as a new occurrence in your life. Simply knowing of their existence and having the chance to endanger them in any way by them letting you go without a care was too dangerous.

You quickly adapted to them being in your presence, simply seeing them as your friends rather than some mutants. Though in case with Donnie, you seemed to like him a lot more than the rest and not in a friendly way. The same could've been said vice versa, but the purple masked turtle didn't seem to be as sure in his feelings as you are.

It was no secret that you two were particularly close with each other, most of the time when you would come over majority of your time was spent with him in his lab. Talking about random things, him showing you his latest finds and relaxing together were probably your favorite moments of the day and each day the bigger spark between you two was forming.

The thing being, you could never truly figure out his feelings about you. You knew he didn't hate you, that's for sure, but you couldn't help but wonder whether the feelings were mutual or you were just imagining things. With that said, you decided not confess as to not harm the friendship between you two.

Time passed by and you came to the conclusion more and more that he didn't feel the same way about you. Deciding that It's the best to just move on and look for love elsewhere, you cut your time with Donnie short. Still visiting the lair and his lab, but the visits became more infrequent as you have now focused on meeting new people and trying out your luck in dating.

Donnie, of course, notices your sudden change in behavior. How couldn't he? The thing he thinked about the most was you after all, anyone in his vicinity could surely confirm that given that he managed to always bring you up in conversations no matter the topic. To say he was infatuated would be an understatement. This being the first time he ever felt something like this, he wasn't really sure how to act or what to do. He's a teenager after all.

Your visits became less and less frequent, which deeply hurt him even though he wasn't expressing it directly. He couldn't help but think that he was somehow the cause of this and that you started despising him for some reason. Yet, he couldn't just sit still and wonder knowing that that way he would never get the answer he deeply craved and would have to live with his feelings for you never being confessed to, well, you.

Mustering up the courage, he picked the time when he knew you were most likely to be home and visit you to finally let his heart out. The burden of his most beloved person drifting away was too much for him to handle and the only way he could possibly fix it is to talk to you.

Leaping from roof to roof, in his head Donnie was only thinking and connecting sentences to find the best way to say everything he's been thinking about since you two first shared glances. Replaying in his memory some of the times you shared together, only then did he manage to figure out that you probably had a crush on him too. All of the little smiles, discrete touches and obvious favorisem only seemed to make themselves clear right now.

Taking one final jump onto your fire escape and carefully looking around so no one sees him, he wa ready to knock on your window and call out for you.

At first, he thought you weren't home as your bedroom was dark with doors shut and you weren't in there, but he notices the light beams that peeked on the bottom of the door from the living room. Deciding to change position and move from one windows to another, Donnie made a quick way towards the other side of the building.

The urge to knock immediately and call out for you quickly went away when he noticed the commotion in your living room. At first he couldn't exactly tell who was there with you or why, but it seemed to quickly make sense to him once the stranger grabbed you by the waist and left a kiss on your forehead whilst sitting on the couch.

Seeing another person with you didn't hurt him as much as seeing you so happy, the way you were happy when you were with him. At least it used to be him.

A tear couldn't help but fall down his cheek as he realized that all of this could've been prevented if he had thought about confessing sooner. He was the smart one, how couldn't he have figured out long ago that you were in love with him? The same way he still is with you? Right now he couldnt tell if he was sad, disappointed in himself, hopeless or all three of those.

Turning around to make his way back home, he couldnt help but ask himself what if's. If he was a little sooner? If he notices earlier? If he had the courage to tell you right away?

He quickly stopped, realizing that there is no point. You could never be his, and he could never be yours. Maybe thats just the way it's meant to be.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt donnie #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt 2016 #bayverse donnie #tmnt donatello #tmnt #donatello #headcanons #scenario #2014 donnie #2016 donnie #bayverse donatello #bayverse donnie x reader #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2003

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candywife333 · 6 months ago

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Moo Moo

PART 2

I know it has been a while, so sorry about that guys. Here is PART 2, hurried along due to popular request. Thanks babe, @yuna0309, for making this story come out faster😂than it was originally slated to! I definitely needed the push. We will have one more part to this. I intend to not procrastinate the last part and have it out ASAP.

chubby cow hybrid y/n x alpha wolf jungkook

cameo of Wheein and Hwasa from Mamamoo and a lot of Taylor swift lyric references throughout

triggers: lactation kink, humiliation, dub con, bullying, body shaming, angst, betrayal

Recap:

He continued crucifying Y/N's gentle heart, "Do you know how many times I did her? She moo'd like a cow every time, as she spilt milk onto the floor. Her pussy is loose and floppy, used up by me. Why would I get with someone with such low self esteem that she gives me unlimited access to her pussy like that, screaming of love every single time. Delusional bitch. As if she would be ever worth my love or undivided attention".

He was so casually cruel in the name of being honest, in the name of telling the truth. What an honest, upright man. Y/N hid behind a potted plant , sliding down to the floor in agony. He had crumpled her like a useless piece of paper , whose words were forgotten.

Maybe she was just a low down cow slut, who wasn't good for receiving love from him or anyone. Maybe it was time she left.

_________________________________________

And that is what Y/N did.

She packed her bags and left.

The horrifying debacle had happened the day before graduation incidentally. Y/N said good-bye to her friends and packed up whatever remnants of her life she had in her hometown. Hwasa sniffled loudly, tears spilling down her face as she sobbed ,"Why are you leaving us? BECAUSE OF WHAT SOME STUPID, UGLY ASS , DISGUSTING PREDATOR SAID ABOUT YOU"? To Y/N's dismay, even Wheein hiccuped, tears streaming down in torrents down her pale cheeks.

Wheein mumbled out ,"You know that you are worth more than any of the predators in this town. You are the heart and soul of our town. Without you, all the young hybrids without parents would go without milk. They would go without your care and love that you give them every Saturday at the orphanage".

Even Y/N couldn't help herself as she silently wept, eyes red, riddled with sorrow at her situation. Even as Wheein and Hwasa embraced her, as she sobbed wretchedly on the floor of her room, she could not stop weeping for all she had lost and all she was going to lose. She may not love her classmates or her school, but she loved the young souls in her town. She sure loved the babies of her town, the gentle souls who never judged her by her looks. They held a pure, unconditional love that she had never been the recipient of. A love she was deemed undeserving of, in the eyes of teenagers and adults . She never received that type of love even from her own parents.

She would miss the babies with chubby cheeks, thick thighs, and pudgy arms. The ones who she cooed and stumbled around, as she cradled them in her lap on the cold harsh winds of winter that were not protected by the red brick walls of the decrepit, run-down orphanage. She would miss the ones she would babysit and watch when their parents were not at home, working long hard hours in the town factory. She would miss feeding them her milk, quenching their thirst for love and attention-their little rotund hands fisting and catching on her shirt in silent adoration as they nourished themselves. Feeding was never just about feeding, it was about connection. Connection to another's soul--transferring unto young babies love and care that they deserved. It was about celebrating a child's entry into the world , by bestowing onto him/her, unconditional comfort and warmth.

But the town would not understand...only absence might teach them. And so she would make herself scarce, absent. She thought she would miss Jungkook, but there was no love left within her to give to him anymore. He had ripped her heart open so callously, she did not know if she could ever heal from this. It would leave a scar, a permanent dent in her soul. It would confirm to her, that perhaps she could never be loved by a man or by perhaps anyone --other than the innocent souls who depended on her.

He had blessed her with a revelation, and if Y/N was anything ---she was perhaps naive , but she was not a goddamn fool to stick around as he trampled her heart to prove his worth in the eyes of other foolish men. He had devalued her, maligned her name, called her a slut- a blatant lie , called her delusional for giving him the gift of her love and her presence. He had insulted her body that wasn't merely to serve as an ornament for any singular man's lust, but he insulted her functional, life giving body--the body of a maternal figure to many kids who had none , a nurturer.

Yet the revelation was, that, what she could give--she could very well take away. And the time had clearly come to do that action.

So, she disappeared into the darkness.

The clock had struck 12 , and there was not a sound to be heard in the town square.

Not a sound to be heard, except the squealing and gurgling of babes faintly resounding in the balmy summer night.

----------------6 years later---------------------------

Jungkook was at his wit's end as he sat down at his office, thick black hair askew , perspiration trickling down his temples . He had become the mayor of the town and he could not have a single night of rest for the past few years as he struggled to take on the burden that came with the heavy mantle of power from his dad.

Their town had been doing alright 5 years ago, till they started noticing a decline in the health of infants. Infants of the town, and especially infants from the orphanage, were becoming more prone to sickness, and some were even dying off without explanation. Nobody could truly explain what was happening, not the doctors, not the parents. The only explanation that the town orphanage could come up with, was Y/N's absence.

According to the orphanage, Y/N used to annually pump a year's worth of milk for the town since she hit puberty - on top of the milk she fed to babies at the orphanage . The sheer volume and quality she was capable of providing was unheard of. A fact Jungkook and many of the town's council members were astonished to find out. Before Y/N , they had been providing all the babies a fortified formula of milk that came from the next town over.

But, once that town's supply had dried up and they refused to help, their town had been getting by in terms of milk supply (without having to seek out costly alternatives) by drinking the milk Y/n produced. The town had been skimping and saving money, instead of buying costly formula--and had skated along on Y/N's abundant supply.

Even when Jungkook decided to buy costly formula from a distant city, to make up for the lack---it simply wasn't the same as Y/N's milk. And the effects of Y/N's milk were abundantly clear as , prior to, and after her supply , rates of infection were higher among infants--compared to when she supplied the milk. The babies of the town on Y/n' supply had flourished, they were a smarter, happier, healthier bunch.

The doctors of the town had to beg the question, if it was merely attributed just to the superior quality of her milk---or was it also her interaction with the babies as she had fed them? And as most elders of the town like to say, "True love cannot be bought".

Something the town had clearly lost out on in Y/N's absence. Y/N thought that the adults of the town wouldn't feel her loss. But they had. The adults had lost Y/N's kind presence around their children, and the eagerness with which she cared and provided support for busy working parents and even the elderly of the town.

Nobody understood why she had left so suddenly without warning.

Nobody except Wheein and Hwasa, who glared contemptuously in Jungkook's direction with disgusted gazes anytime he passed in the town square. And Jungkook was left with the horrible feeling, that Y/N had heard or seen something she wasn't supposed to. He had been trying to prove himself as worthy of this position, since he was in highschool- especially their Senior year.

He had said some harsh words about her at the time, to save face for liking someone rather unconventional in appearance. The entire group had been teasing him, and so had to do something to right their perception of him. He couldn't be known as the chubby chaser, if he was to be mayor.

As he matured, he felt tortured by the memory of what he had said about her that day. She hadn't deserved such disgusting, cold words that put her down. Clearly, she was more important than any of the predators in this town, the so called head honchos of this small town. It was abundantly clear just how much power her love had--- that they all had lost because of his stupidity and immaturity.

He realized it now, that she was the love of his life. And he cringed in pain, recounting how he called her a slut-when he very well knew that he had been her first. The memory stabbed him in his gut, reminiscing how he had ridiculed her body--- her life giving beautiful body. All the slurs he had hurled against her to gain the acceptance of a society, that was anyways crumbling without her.

Even the immature kids that they had gone to highschool with, most of whom stayed in the town, had understood what type of blunder they had made. Pushing Y/n away, harassing her for no reason, ridiculing her body that was valuable regardless of what it did , or did not produce. Most of those who did know what Jungkook did, ceased interacting with him.

Jimin had stopped talking to Jungkook after his statement that day. One thing that Y/N never got to see, was the way Jimin had slapped Jungkook for his cruel words, scoffing at him, yelling, "You miserable son of a ****, how dare you put down your childhood friend like that? Can you even call yourself a good person after what you have implied about Y/N"?

She had not looked up to peer at anybody's face during graduation, or else she would have seen the red imprint of a hand on Jungkook's cheek on the day of their graduation. She would have seen Jimin's righteous indignation as he continued to shiver in anger well into their graduation ceremony.

So, now Jungkook had to right his wrong. He had to somehow find Y/N, and convince her to come back to a town that she thought hated her. He had to somehow show her how lost he felt without her love, how what they had was all he could think of day and night. He couldn't get with anybody after what he had done to her, nobody was enough. He couldn't forget her. He couldn't forget her beautiful lush body stretched out beneath him as she mewled rhapsodies of love into his ear.

He couldn't forget how she listened to every one of his fears and insecurities, and smoothed her hands over his forehead, cupping his cheeks as she kissed him well into the night. His brain could not forget how he pounded into her, his sweat dripping onto her chest as he drinking sweet milk from her nipple-- her wrapping her thick legs around his back as she hugged him , hands around his neck - littering his face with tiny kisses ,cradling him as though he was something precious, as though he was worthy of all the love in the world .

He couldn't forget her love, her kindness, her warmth, her body. Her. She was unforgettable. There was not a second that passed, that he did not remember her shy smile and her warm eyes.

She had ruined him for anyone else, imprinted herself onto his soul. He had found out too late. He had to lose her to find out that he loved her.

And she had given him the greatest punishment of all eternity for his sins. By withdrawing the love he had spat upon mercilessly.

By leaving him.

tags: @yuna0309, @ghostlyworld, @cutiethecupcake

#bts x plus size reader #chubby reader #bts x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts x chubby y/n #bts x plus size y/n #bts x curvy y/n #jungkook x chubby reader #jungkook x chubby y/n #jungkook x plus size reader #jungkook x curvy y/n #angst

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honorarysimp · 5 months ago

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Ramifications

series masterlist

(trigger warning - childhood trauma: mental and emotional abuse mentioned)

“Stop it! Stop it!”

Little hands bat at the large one wrapped around your arm, pulling you through the apartment.

“Uncle Derek stop-“

You’re brought to a halt as he stops, towering over you with a twisted expression on his face, “I didn’t ask for this just as much as you did, okay? I have one, simple rule, one that you can’t seem to get through that little head of yours”.

He then prods a finger into the side of your head, the faint smell of booze radiating off him, making your little nose scrunch as you try to shy away.

You’re not a fighter, how could you? He’s the only family you have, and maybe he’s right. Maybe you should stop asking.

When tears fill your eyes, he seems to soften a bit, sighing as he lets your arm go and drops to his knee beside you.

“Look squirt, what happened to your parents was… shitty. I didn’t ask to be stuck with you just as much as you didn’t ask to be stuck here with me” he says much softer, though his words still hurt your little heart.

“But we’re all we got, alright? So just… leave it alone, that’s the only thing I ask of you” he continues, trying to make the situation better by patting down your tousled hair.

You force yourself not to pull away, not use to his touch being so gentle “I’m sorry for asking about them, Uncle Derek-“

When you can’t choke back the sob, you hear him sigh heavily before patting your shoulder, and oddly you prefer it over him possibly even trying to hug you.

That might break you apart completely.

“Just let it go kid, sometimes we just have to accept things are what they are, even without a logical explanation” he tells you quietly, your crying slowly stifling to sniffles.

“Uncle Derek?”

“Yeah squirt?”

“Uncle Derek-“

You sit upright, his name in your mouth, but you swallow it and it drops like lead to your stomach.

You rub your eyes and glance over to Anika’s bed from where you’re lying on her floor, your designated spot any time you sleep over.

Buzzing on the carpet next to you is the alarm on your phone, you quickly shut it off and stand. Twisting your back and stretching, you let out little satisfied grunts as multiple joints pop across your body from all areas.

Double checking the time and wincing at the bright 8:04AM that flashes back at you.

Turning towards Anika’s bed, you nudge her, which only makes her groan.

“Can’t it wait another hour?”

“Do you really want to hold yourself responsible if I’m the reason I get arrested today?”

Anika doesn’t move, nor offer any more grunts of protest for a solid minute.

“We’ll stop at The Offering on our way and get free coffee, courtesy of my nonexistent uncle”.

“That’s considered guilt tripping” a pause, “and bribery”.

“Is it working?”

A beat, and then a sigh, shuffling from under the covers.

“Your coffee addiction needs looking into”.

“Take me to rehab tomorrow”.

____________________________________________

If you keep making a habit of breaking and entering, you might actually get good at this.

And with Anika’s help, it’s almost unfair. Her ploy is executed so well that neither of you miss a beat.

Hell, maybe you were born to do this.

Her idea had been to play innocent lost teenage girl, approach the guard at the front, and ask him to call her dad. To which she takes advantage of the moment he’s distracted, unclasping his keys from his belt and dropping them just outside the building as he escorts her inside, to a phone probably.

She plans on using your Uncle’s number, knowing damn well he won’t answer.

The morgue is completely vacant, a skeleton of a building. The inside is a stark, sterile place, filled with a cold, clinical ambiance. The walls are painted a pale, sterile white, and the fluorescent lights overhead cast a harsh glare upon everything.

The long hallway that stretches out in front of you is lined with countless autopsy rooms, each one isolated and separate, with a sense of foreboding. The only sound that echoes through the hallway is the faint mechanical hum of medical equipment, adding to the eerie atmosphere.

“This is the part in the movie where people watching scream for the protagonist to turn around and leave” you mutter to yourself, hand tightly clutching the keys as you push forward.

As you push forward down the eerie hallway, the atmosphere becomes even more unsettling. The sterile, stark white walls seem to close in on you, and the harsh fluorescent lights glare down at you from above. The silence of the hallway is only broken by the soft footsteps of your feet against the linoleum floor, and the faint sound of medical equipment in the distance.

Despite the clinical sterility of the place, you can't help but feel a sense of unease as you pass by door after door of isolated autopsy rooms. The thought of what goes on behind those closed doors sends a shiver down your spine.

The relief you feel when you finally stumble upon the right room, marked "Files and Records," is palpable. Your heart is pounding as you fumble with a set of keys, trying each one in the lock until finally, with a satisfying click, the door swings open. The room is dimly lit, but you can make out the shapes of filing cabinets and boxes stacked up against the walls. The air is musty and old, and you can't help but feel a sense of excitement and trepidation as you enter.

“What the fuck is wrong with me” you mutter as you flip the light switch, goosebumps in your arms from the stale air of the room.

The room is small but functional, filled with rows and rows of filing cabinets that line the walls. In the center of the room are two desks, each one positioned against opposite walls, and on top of each desk is a computer.

The desks are cluttered with various papers and documents, and there is a sense of organization mixed with chaos. The air is heavy with the aroma of old paper and dust, and the fluorescent lights overhead cast a harsh glare throughout the room.

You take a seat in front of one of the computers, your mind racing as you begin to dig through the desk drawers and folders spread across the top. You try to ignore the sense of unease that crawls along your spine and focus on the task at hand. You sift through papers, searching for any hint of a password or any clue that might help you gain access to the computer. Frustration creeps in as you search, the anxiety building as you struggle to find anything useful.

You lean back in the chair and survey the room, your eyes scanning the rows of filing cabinets and boxes stacked against the walls. The sense of frustration and helplessness weighs heavily on you, but you're determined to find something, anything, that might give you a clue. You get up from the desk and begin to rifle through the drawers of the cabinets, hoping to find a file, a piece of paper, or anything that might lead you closer to the information you need.

Your eyes land on a photo sitting on the desk, half-hidden behind a stack of files. As you reach for it, your heart skips a beat. On the back of the photo is a date, scribbled in faded ink. Without hesitation, you rush back to the computer, your fingers trembling as you type the date into the password prompt. With bated breath, you press the Enter key, waiting for a response.

As the computer unlocks, a wave of relief washes over you. You immediately open the command center and search for your father's name. The computer hums to life, processing the command as you anxiously wait for the results. Your heart is in your throat, your palms sweating as you imagine what you might find.

Your stomach sinks as the search results pop up, dozens of files bearing your father's name filling the screen. Your mind races as you quickly fish a flash drive out of your pocket and plug it into the computer. Your hands are shaking slightly as you transfer the files onto the drive, the sense of dread growing with each file that is copied.

With a sense of urgency, you unplug the flash drive once the files have finished copying, shutting down the computer and hastily exiting the room. You pause for a moment, taking a deep breath as you scan the hallway, making sure no one has come by. The hallway seems eerily quiet, the only sound the sound of your own erratic breathing and the muffled hum of the air conditioning.

“This is too easy” you mutter to yourself, tucking the flash drive into your pocket before heading back in the direction you came.

But then again, who’s expecting someone to break into a morgue? Actually, you don’t want to think about that.

You hastily exit the building, dropping the keys just outside the door for the guard to find later, making your way down the street at a steadfast pace.

As you come around the corner, you find Anika waiting, just as planned.

“That guy was a fucking creep, you owe me big time” Anima hisses under her breath, falling into step with you, “did you get it?”

You dig the flash drive out of your pocket and hold it up, giving her a grin “one step closer”.

____________________________________________

You’re pretty sure you’ve never been to this part of the city before.

But, as you continue forward with this ‘investigation’ as Anika so kindly put, you brace yourself for any possibilities.

The apartment building in front of you is a looming, dilapidated structure, its crumbling brick facade covered in graffiti and stains. It stands alone in a neglected, desolate stretch of the city, its shadows casting an ominous aura over the surrounding streets. As you sit staked out in your car outside the building, you can't help but feel a sense of foreboding and danger.

Yes, you heard that right, car. You've got your permit, and you practically raised yourself, so it counts. Besides, who is going to stop you? It's not your fault your Uncle left his keys out for the taking.

Not to mention, you think you're an excellent and safe driver.

The area is sketchy, known for its drug activity and violent crime. The darkness of the night only adds to the atmosphere of danger, making you tense and wary.

Why are you here? Because you and Anika spent the last two days going through everything you’d found, and oddly enough, every victim your father had signed off for had lived in this area. Not this building specifically, but a large majority in the complexes along the street.

It’s no surprise the police didn’t go snooping around, if they even made it this far. You’ve lived in New York long enough now to know what areas to avoid and what ones are safe, especially when it comes to contraband.

You’ve been here for three hours, and at this point you’re getting restless, what do you expect to find anyways? Sitting here watching won’t do you any good.

You have to act, you have to find something, this can’t all be for nothing.

So, you go to the only dealer you know, shifting the car into drive and heading back towards the inner city.

When you reach the Bailey residence, and are greeted by Quinn at the door, she grins and bear hugs you.

“Where the hell have you been? Ethan says you haven’t answered any of his texts, if you keep skipping class and it forces me into social interaction with normal people we’re going to have a problem-“

“Is Richie here?” You cut her off, her smile faltering as you step through the threshold, brows knitted together in confusion.

“What-“

“I need to talk to him” you say as you cast her a side glance, heading into the apartment, catching sight of Ethan sitting in the couch watching a movie.

For a moment, you feel that guilt, knowing he’s only just been let off house arrest after helping you and being caught by his own dad of all people.

Quinn follows after you and fires question after question. When Ethan sees you, he jumps to his feet with a swirl of relief, worry, and confusion on his face.

“GUYS. PLEASE” you snap, whirling on them, bringing them to a complete halt behind you.

“Just back off, alright? Stop hovering, Jesus Christ, I’m not made of fucking glass” you say a bit too harshly, and the way their expressions show it makes you hurt inside.

You don’t have time for this.

Squaring your shoulders, you turn and head in the general direction of Richie’s room, and they don’t follow.

You hear a “fuck off” when you pound your fist on the door, rolling your eyes as you try the doorhandle, finding it locked.

“Richie! Open the door, I need your help” you shout just loud enough for him to hear. He seems to register you aren’t his brother or sister, feet padding towards the door before the sound of a click from the other side.

The door opens, wafts of dank coming from his room as he leans against the doorframe, looking you up and down in ridicule “you? You need my help?”

“Believe me, it’s a last resort” you push the words through your teeth “I need you to get me in touch with your dealer”.

He laughs, hard, you don’t.

And when he also seems to realize this, his laugh fizzles out and his smile drops “yeah that’s not going to happen for an abundance of reasons-“

“Give it to me, or I’ll just tap your phone and get it myself” you say far too confidently, and with the way his eyes narrow you’re pretty sure he’s going to call your bluff.

“You need to be careful where you insert yourself” Richie says as he nudges his door open, heading into his room to grab his phone off his bed.

You stay at the door, “since when do you care?”

“You go knock on the wrong persons door, you’ll get yourself killed some day, but that’s your funeral” Richie says without looking at you, your phone chimes from your back pocket and you grab it to check the message.

Contact information.

“You owe me” Richie says as he drops down to lay on his bed.

“Consider it you repaying me for not ratting you out to your dad” you snark, turning on your heel.

You should come up with a better way on tracking down people, because you'll never stoop this low again-

“Right you just rat out your friends, right?”

You bite your tongue, because you know it isn’t the truth, and you don’t owe him an explanation anyways. But how he knows you’re the reason Ethan got in trouble is beyond you.

You don’t have time for this.

Without offering a response, or a thank you, you hastily exit. You don’t even think to check for your friends, nor do they show themselves as you let yourself out.

And you find out why, as your tunnel vision suddenly comes to a halt the moment you step into your apartment.

When you look up and find your three friends gathered in the living room, you can’t help but quip “is this about the cigarettes? I swear it’s just for the anxiety, and to be fair Derek shouldn’t be leaving them lying around-”.

“Don’t play with me right now” Anika says sharply, arms crossed and eyes narrowed.

You stiffen, instantly becoming defensive “what’s your problem-“.

“You. You’ve become our problem” Quinn cuts you off, and when your eyes go to her you can’t help but take note that this is probably the most serious you’ve ever seen her.

Sure, you aren’t as close with her as you are Ethan and Anika, she flirts and you go along with it. But it’s a harsh reminder than she is a person with feelings, and she is in fact, also one of your closest friends.

“You’re going off the rails dude, we’re worried” Ethan tries the gentler approach, “I wouldn’t just get myself into trouble with my dad for nothing-“

“You knew what you were signing up for, you didn’t have to” your words are sharp, and you instantly regret it as Ethan’s demeanor shrinks just the slightest.

Anika strides towards you, now furious “do you hear yourself right now? Who the hell do you think you are talking to us like this? Were your friends and we’ve done nothing but support you and help you since-“

“Since what? Since I found out my Uncle might’ve actually killed my parents?!” You exclaim, boiling over, everything crashing down all at once in this moment.

"Yeah, well considering how much you act like you hate the guy, you sure are acting like him" Anika shouts back, taking a step towards you.

Silence.

Your hands start to shake, the slightest ringing in your ears as you take a very slow breath, "...excuse me?"

"Anika-"

She holds up a hand and Ethan instantly cuts his own sentence off, deflating as he looks from her to you, and when no one else speaks. You do.

“How fucking dare you. I’m suffocating over here, I have been for years! I am nothing like him! My Uncle doesn’t give a shit about me, my estranged family wants nothing to do with me and I don’t know why. My parents were murdered, and I don’t know why, but as of right now I’m pretty sure it’s got to do with my Uncle covering up some shady shit”.

Ethan and Quinn exchange a look, and you can tell Anika is trying to keep a steel expression and hold you accountable for how you’ve been acting recently.

“That doesn’t give you an excuse for treating us like shit” Anika says sternly, which makes you clench your fists at your side, “you’ve always been impulsive but now you’re just being reckless, this isn’t like you”.

It’s your fault, it’s your fault, it’s your fault.

You scoff, trying to shove past her “of course you don’t understand, you have the picture fucking perfect family that actually loves you-“

“Yeah, and they love your stupid ass too, if you’d get your goddamn head out of it for five seconds to remember everything they’ve done for you” Anika barks, grabbing your arm and pulling to make you turn to face her.

And that. That breaks you. As flashes of memories from your childhood flood your brain, your furious Uncle and all that time of isolation.

You know she’s right, and that hurts more.

“Don’t-“ you rip your arm free, chest heaving unevenly as your bottom lip quivers, eyes filling with tears as you point a trembling finger at her, “don’t fucking touch me like that”.

The regret in her eyes is instant, but she doesn’t back down, instead she moves forward and pulls you into a hug.

You stiffen, the air in your lungs taking a full pause as everything just stops for a moment. Even when you’re hurting, beyond angry, confused, and shutting down, they’re still here.

They see you. They see you falling apart, and they’re still here, they see you going nuclear and they’re reminding you who you are.

You aren’t your past, you aren’t the trials and tribulations you’ve gone through, you aren’t your parents or your Uncle.

It isn’t your fault.

And you fall apart, your hands clawing at the back of her shirt as your knees buckle, a broken sob ripping from your throat.

And Anika holds you, dropping to the floor with you, your cries muffled against her shoulder. And then Ethan is there, and Quinn, circling you as they surround you with their love from all sides.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry” you manage out between breaths, face twisting as your chest caves in from the swirl of emotions overwhelming you.

“We got you” you hear Anika murmur, “we’ve always got you”.

You aren’t alone, you’ve never been alone. You are loved, and you aren’t a burden.

At least, not to them.

____________________________________________

Your friends weren’t entirely in agreement to your methods of gathering information, but you never really fell in line with rules and regulations anyways.

However, after having been enlightened by your barbaric and brash behavior, you put yourself in check.

So after a bit of a plan is formulated, you set out.

Yes, getting answers and finding some sort of inner peace is important, but you’re fifteen for Christ sake.

There’s far too much that you’ve felt within your lifetime already, and to be frank, you want to close the chapter. Put an end to it, let the dead rest where they lay.

An individual of logic, and rationality you are once again, somewhat.

You never knew your parents, murdered before you reached your second birthday. Fact.

Your Uncle is blacklisted from the family for reasons unknown, refuses to talk about what happened, and thus isolating you from the rest of your family with no say on your part. Fact.

Your Uncle hates his sister, your mother, also for reasons unknown. Fact.

Did he kill them in some ploy? Revenge? Money? Only to get stuck with you?

Or is there something bigger at play, and perhaps, your Uncle traumatized you so badly so you wouldn’t go digging.

For your own safety? Or is that a stretch, hoping a man who never once gave you the time of day, might actually care for you on some twisted and toxic level.

Yeah, no, he’s a piece of shit. No need for euphemisms at this point.

At least he taught you how to use it as a tool of intimidation, probably the only thing he ever taught you.

It took a lot, a lot of convincing to let you walk into that warehouse alone that night, after linking up with the dealer you were put in contact with no thanks to Richie.

You’d casually told him you needed to speak to his boss, wanting in on the underground workings so to speak. Money is always the best ploy, because everyone needs it. You’re pretty sure the guy had no idea how old you were, but considering you’re from New York and plastered on your most boorish persona.

He didn’t question it.

But now that you think about it, you’re beginning to question your own judgement as he leads you to armed men at the front of a sketchy warehouse, they’re at least triple your size. He tells them why you’re here, which has them exchange a look before taking over, a curt nod indicating you follow.

You’re nervous. Reflecting. Subconsciously grateful that your friends rattled you up enough to get your senses back in order, else you’d be completely fucked right now.

Everyone you walk past is eyeing you, your first thought has to be your age and stature, but there’s other factors you consider as well.

You pray this works out as planned.

As you are escorted through the warehouse, you are surrounded by armed men, their weapons hanging heavily at their hips. The atmosphere is tense and ominous, the only source of light coming from the dim, hanging light bulbs that hang from the ceiling. The walls are lined with storage crates and shelves, creating a labyrinth of dark shadows that seem to swallow up the light.

The air is thick with the scent of musk and decay, and you can feel the eyes of the armed men on you, watching your every move as you are led further into the dimly lit maze.

The armed men move silently in front of and behind you, their footsteps barely making a sound on the concrete floor. The only noise is the soft shuffling of your own footsteps and the occasional sound of creaking metal coming from the boxes and crates stacked around the warehouse. As you make your way deeper into the labyrinth, the sense of uncertainty and danger grows, making your heart race and your palms sweaty with fear. Every corner you turn, every shadow you pass through, could hold something sinister lurking in the darkness.

In an attempt to self sooth, you start humming Hotel California, which inadvertently reverberates through the space around you.

“Knock it off, kid” one of the armed men grunts, breaking you out of your momentary trace, unable to help the subconscious look you judgementally send his way.

“What? Not an Eagles fan?” you remark, which has him look forward again as you continue along.

“I don’t like football”.

Your mouth opens, the words don’t come out, and honestly you’re too taken aback by just how badly he’d mistaken what you’d said. You don’t even bother correcting him, blowing quiet raspberries instead rather than wasting your breath.

As you enter the next room, you are directed towards a tall, imposing figure standing by a large table. His muscular frame, and deep scar runs down his face, adding to his intimidating aura. Every inch of him exudes power and ruthlessness. His gaze is fixed upon the money he counts in his hands, his eyes cold and unreadable as you approach.

His towering presence makes the room feel smaller, and the atmosphere is tense as he regards you with a steely gaze. The flicker from the light above casts moving shadows across his face, making him look even more ominous and dangerous. You can feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, and a chill runs down your spine as you stand before him, feeling like a mouse cornered by a lion.

Despite the intimidating presence of the tall figure, you force yourself to stand tall and hold his gaze. He drops the wad of cash on to the table and looks you up and down, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth, before breaking out into a loud, almost cruel-sounding laugh.

The man laughs louder, clearly amused at your attempt to get involved in the drug dealing business. "So, a toddler trying to get into the game," he says with a sneer. "You're underestimating the risks. This isn't a playground. It's a dangerous world, and you're not prepared for it. Kids like you are nothing but a liability"

You bristled at his words, feeling the sting of his condescending tone. But you stand your ground, your eyes meeting his defiantly. "Don't underestimate me," you say firmly, your voice steady. "You have no idea the thing I’ve been through, the things I’ve seen, what all I’ve done to get to this moment. Right here."

The man's condescending smile falters for a moment, his gaze studying you closely. For a brief instant, there's a flicker of recognition in his eyes, almost as if he’s seen something in you that he never expected. He leans back against the table, his arms crossed, as he regards you with a new level of curiosity.

Good, you have his attention, now all you need to do is hold it.

You notice the change in the man's demeanor and decide to test the waters, subtly complimenting his reputation. "I've heard stories about you," you say, your voice low and deliberate. "About the grip you have on people in New York, the way you manipulate the system to your advantage. It's impressive."

He scoffs again, clearly trying to downplay your comment. "What would a kid like you know about the things I’ve done?" he says, his tone dismissive. "You're just a kid playing at being grown-up. You don’t know anything about this life, about the things I’ve had to do to get where I am."

You take a deep breath, steeling your nerves as you prepare to drop the name that you hope will bring the man's attention to you. Letting the silence hang in the air for a moment, you meet his gaze directly, your voice steady and confident. "Everyone in New York knows your name," you say, emphasizing each word. "You're a legend in this town. Mickey."

As soon as you say his name, the man's demeanor changes completely. All the false charisma and snarky attitude disappears, replaced by a look of annoyance and disdain. He straightens up, his eyes narrowing as he looks at you with a cold gaze. "How do you know my name?" he demands, his voice low and dangerous.

The tension in the air is palpable as you stare him down, the room falling quiet. You take a step forward, your voice firm and unwavering. "You know, Mickey," you say, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "I may be just a kid, but I know more than you think."

The air between you and Mickey is thick with tension, the silence in the room growing even heavier as you take a step forward, your voice dripping with sarcasm. As you speak, his eyes flash with anger. "You think you know something, kid?" he growls, his voice low and menacing. "You're nothing but a scrawny little punk who's in over your head."

The room is tense as you take a step forward, meeting his gaze with unwavering determination. Your voice is firm and steady as you speak, your words laced with sarcasm. "I may be kid right now," you repeat, "but I know and am capable of more than you give me credit for. And let's be clear on something, Mickey. I didn't come here to play games. I came here to make a deal."

As you strongly follow with the words "blackmail, on a charge of double homicide," Mickey’s expression hardens even more, his body going rigid as if you've put him in a metaphorical chokehold. The atmosphere in the room becomes charged, the sense of danger and tension reaching a new level. His eyes narrow, and a flash of anger passes through them as he regards you with a steely gaze. Silence hangs in the air like a heavy blanket, the only sound the steady breathing of the armed men standing around you.

Mickey looms over you, his towering frame casting a shadow across your small form. A crazed, almost feral gleam enters his eyes as he stares down at you, the corners of his mouth curling into a sinister smile. "You think you can threaten me, kid?" he laughs, his voice thick with menace and eyes narrowed, “you think I haven't killed countless people to get what I want? You’ll have to be a little bit more specific.”

It’s hard, not to buckle under that scrutinizing gaze, how he is three times your size and easily could overpower you and do God knows what.

But you’re use to this kind of intimidation tactic, and didn’t come all this way for nothing.

“Feldman”.

Mickey's expression morphs from one of psychotic glee to a sudden, unsettling stillness, his laughter stopping mid-note as your name registers in his brain. For a moment, he stands there, completely frozen, and then he throws his head back, a maniacal cackle echoing loudly in the room.

His laughter is chilling, the sound of it echoing off the walls of the warehouse as he throws back his head, cackling loudly. The sound is almost animalistic, filled with a gleeful malice that sends shivers down your spine. It's a sound that speaks of a man who is utterly devoid of remorse, a man who takes pleasure in the pain and suffering of others.

The cackling laughter stops so abruptly you get whiplash, his face becoming a mask of cold control once more. He regards you for a moment, his eyes narrowing as he pieces together the puzzle. Then, in a quiet voice, he asks, "Pause. Your parents... You're their kid, aren't you?"

His lip curls into a cruel smile, his eyes taking on a dark, malicious gleam as his voice takes on a mocking tone, continuing to speak, “right right right, you were that God awful shrieking in the background as I put a fucking bullet in mommy and daddies head for backstabbing us” he snarls, head slightly rolling as if reiterating the story was an inconvenience.

Then he fixes you with a look, head slightly tilted and a sour look on his face “and clearly nothing has fucking changed”.

“Fuck you asshole-“

You stop short, your mind slowly catches up to his words, the implications of his story sinking in. Confused and growingly concerned, you ask, "Wait... what do you mean, 'backstabbing'?"

Mickey begins to pace around you, his demeanor becomes more and more unsettling, the air of menace thick and electric. He begins to explain the story, his voice taking on a venomous edge as he describes your father's situation. "Your old man... he was a drug-addicted mess," he says, his tone dripping with malice. "He owed us thousands, and we were collecting, found a way to have him repay us in… little favors. But then he decided to get righteous and refused to cooperate with us anymore."

He continues circling you, his gaze flicking over your face, searching for any sign of emotion. As he speaks, his voice becomes almost gleeful, as if he's enjoying the power he holds over you. "But we couldn't just let him get away with it," he says, almost gleefully. "So we figured the best way to get to him was through his wife."

He stop right in front of you, his grin wide and his eyes cold “and well, when that didn’t take…”

For a moment, he takes a step back and makes a gun, complete with the "pow" sound, before throwing his head back, his laughter once again filling the room. The gesture is casual, almost chilling in its simplicity.

As he continues his laughter, you glance at the armed men standing nearby, but they show no reaction to the story or the man's performance. Their faces are schooled, almost emotionless, as they stand silently and watch the scene play out. The lack of emotion in their eyes adds to the unsettling atmosphere of the room, making you wonder what all these men have seen and done.

Okay, now is not the time to panic, as you come to realize just how bad of an idea this really was.

You take a moment to compose yourself, swallowing the lump in your throat, before meeting his gaze and asking, your voice steady, despite the sickness you're feeling inside. "So you admit it... you admit to killing my parents?"

Mickey's composure snaps as you ask your question, his expression darkening into anger. He suddenly lunges towards you, grabbing your wrist with one hand and pulling out a knife with the other. He raises the knife menacingly, his eyes filled with venom as he yells, "ENOUGH! I’m growing sick and tired of all the goddamn questions”.

He looms over intimidatingly, towering above you as he sneers, his face contorting with sadistic rage as he says “considering you won’t be around much longer to bother me, I’ll let you die knowing that they didn’t kill themselves, no no no. It was me, because I wanted to. Because it’s fun, because I can”.

Despite the fear and the sick feeling in your stomach, you gather the courage to speak up, asking a question that's been burning in your mind. "S-so that’s it? Was it a hit? Were you hired to take out my parents?"

He growls with annoyance, digging the tip of the knife into your forehead with irritation. "What part of 'I killed your parents' didn't you understand, huh? Are you listening to me, kid?"

Do something. Say something. Fuck it, time to alternate to plan B.

Despite the fear and anger bubbling up inside you, you force yourself to maintain a cool facade, hiding the nerves and uncertainty just under the surface. You reply, your voice steady and firm, even as you're shaking inside. "Yeah, I heard you loud and clear."

The man is caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor, but no chance to process as you land a swift kick between his legs. He lets out a guttural gasp, his eyes widening in pain and surprise, knife falling from his hand and clattering across the floor. He doubles over, clutching his crotch, as the air is knocked out of his lungs.

You don’t wait to see his reaction for long, immediately taking advantage of the situation. You turn and bolt, darting through the warehouse as fast as you can. You hear him bellowing out orders behind you, his voice filled with pain and anger, telling his men to apprehend you.

You weave and duck through the chaotic scene, dodging obstacles and furniture as best you can. The sudden sound of gunshots rings out behind you, echoing loudly in the empty warehouse. Bullets whiz past you, missing you by mere inches, as you keep moving, knowing that stopping would be a death sentence. Every movement feels like a matter of life and death, the tension in the air thick as you keep up the mad dash to escape.

Shooting at an unarmed minor? Yeah, these guys really don't give a fuck, you'll process this later.

The adrenaline pumps through your veins as you run, your heart pounding in your chest as you push your body to its limits. You've never moved this fast in your life, but the sounds of footsteps and gunshots behind you tell you that your pursuers are closing in. Every muscle in your body screams in protest, but you don’t dare slow down. The fear of what would happen if they caught you fuels you to move faster, even as they gain on you.

In the heat of the moment, you see an opening in the space between two large wooden boxes on the shelf running parallel through the warehouse. Thinking quickly, and hoping your pursuers won't spot you, you bolt over to the gap and squeeze through to the other side, trying to make yourself as small as possible. The rough wood scrapes against your skin as you duck between the boxes.

As you push yourself to the other side, your already shaky footing falters, causing you to stumble and catch yourself on the rough wood. The wood digs into your palm, causing a sharp pain to shoot through your hand. You let out a small gasp of pain, the cut stinging as the adrenaline is temporarily overshadowed by the sudden injury.

The sight of blood dribbling down your arm causes your heart to skip a beat, and you scramble to put pressure on the wound, clutching it against your chest. Ignoring the pain, you push yourself to run once more, your feet pounding against the warehouse floor as you race to find a way out. Hoping that your pursuers haven’t found a way to cut you off.

Your heart sinks as you reach the end of the aisle, coming to a sudden stop. Your gaze flicks around the space, desperate for an escape route, but there's nowhere to go. The dead end walls loom in front of you, trapping you between them like a rat in a cage. The feeling of dread fills you as you realize you're cornered, your heart hammering in your chest.

Your heart pounds in your chest as one of the men grins and taunts you, "No where to run now."

A sense of doubt starts to creep into your mind, and you begin to question whether your plan will even work. The men look intimidating and powerful, their arms muscles rippling as they stand menacingly around you.

“This is the part in the movie where-“

"NYPD! FREEZE!"

The command rings out through the warehouse, and in a moment of disorienting surprise, multiple law enforcement officers appear, shouting the order to 'freeze'. The armed men are caught off guard, their smugness instantly replaced by confusion and worry. Some of the men raise their guns instinctively, but the armed police quickly take control, shouting at them to lay down their weapons.

The scene dissolves into a high-stakes standoff, with weapons raised and tension thick in the air. You clutch your wounded hand to your chest, the blood still trickling down your arm as a mix of relief and trepidation washes over you. The two factions are at a standstill, waiting to see who will make the first move.

As the officers maintain their steady pressure, the armed men realize their disadvantage. They glance around warily, their previous confidence now replaced with a tense, calculating gaze as they assess the situation. The realization that there's no escape starts to sink in, and a few of the men drop their weapons in surrender.

One of the men makes a quick decision, turning towards you and aiming their gun. The trigger is squeezed, and a loud shot rings out, its sound echoing through the warehouse. Your heart skips a beat as adrenaline surges through your body, bracing for the potential impact.

To your surprise, the shot never makes contact with you, instead you hear the sound of the man's body hitting the floor. The officers promptly leap into action, rushing forward to apprehend the rest of the men and handcuff them. The air is electric as they secure the suspects, the chaos slowly being brought under control.

Your body trembles with adrenaline, your pulse pounding so loudly in your ears that it nearly drowns out the surrounding sounds. Your breaths come in short, ragged gasps, the shock of the situation making it difficult to stay composed. The scene around you is a blur, the mixture of relief and fear coursing through your veins as you try to process what just happened.

An officer tries to approach you, moving closer with a concerned expression, but you instinctively flinch away. The trauma of the situation has rattled you, making you jumpy and guarded. But as the officer speaks gently, you slowly start to come back to reality, your tension easing ever so slightly.

“You look rough kid” the Officer says, offering a smile that’s both sympathetic and a somewhat attempt to be friendly.

You laugh, your eyes finally focusing back in, you notice he’s probably one of the younger Officer’s out of everyone currently scrambling about around you.

“Says you, McDreamy” you shoot back, and he laughs almost like he’s heard that reference countless times.

“I prefer Officer Kincaid, now do you want to go get that patched up or keep making a mess of my crime scene?” He says with a more genuine smile, and it’s about this moment that you remember your hand is bleeding profusely.

Adrenaline, you beautiful, beautiful lady.

____________________________________________

The next few hours are a blur, hand stitched and wrapped, but hey you always did think having a hand scar would be sick as hell. You were told it won’t, but the thought is there.

You saw Mickey getting hauled into the back of a cop car earlier, and you didn’t miss the sinister sneer he shot your way.

It shouldn’t worry you, but it does, because men like him don’t forget backstabbing. You’ve been informed of this just recently.

As of this moment you’re sat in the precinct, Officer Kincaid had already gotten your statement and you’d already answered all their questions.

But you had one last thing to do, and it very well may be the end of you as you know it.

“Now tell me why the hell I shouldn’t kick your ass across this entire city for how thoughtless and irresponsible you were tonight?”

That voice, ah, it instills the fear of God in you.

“Mr. Bailey I can explain-“

He’s beelining to you with a condescending expression, and to be honest you prepare for the worst.

Which is why you’re frantic, almost dropping your tape recorder as you fish it out of your jacket “I have a confession on my parents murders!”

Instantly his expression drops, confused, and then mortified “do you not realize you just as easily could’ve joined them tonight? Huh? The hell is wrong with you!”

Everything in you sinks, the scrutiny tearing at your insides as he continues even when your hand remains outstretched.

“I’ve got my fucking kids to worry about as it is, but when one of them calls and all they give me is an address to possibly find your dead body at-“

Okay, to be fair, at this point you just disassociate. You’re used to this, being yelled at, chastised and scolded. In his defense you deserve it because yeah, you could’ve died tonight. Or worse.

But the plan had worked, and that what matters, right?

You tune back in at the wrong moment.

“-you know the position that could’ve put me in? To think I might have to tell my own kids their best friend-“

But then he stops, almost like the word ‘died’ catches in his throat, and that alone makes you look up.

And that’s when you see it, the worry, the fear. He’s not hounding you because he doesn’t like you, he’s hounding you because he’s a father.

That breaks you.

The sudden wave of emotions crashes down on you like a tidal wave, the adrenaline giving way to a whirlwind of feelings. The realization of the gravity of the situation sinks in, and you find yourself overwhelmed as the events of the past week replay in your mind.

Your vision begins to swim, your breathing growing more and more labored as the pressure becomes too much to bear. Without warning, the dam breaks, and the breakdown takes over your body. You suddenly find yourself sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down your face.

As you break down, he quickly steps up, moving closer and gently guiding you into his arms. He holds you protectively, his voice soft as he tries to comfort you. "Goddamn it... come here. You're safe," he says, rubbing your back soothingly. "Just let it out. I've got you."

His embrace is firm but kind, the strong, protective grip bringing much needed comfort to your shattered state. The fatherly energy he gives off makes you think maybe there is someone you can go to who will shield you from harm and provide comfort in the face of chaos. In that moment, you find yourself clinging to him, feeling the weight of your emotions starting to subside ever so slightly.

As you finally calm down, the officer slowly lets go, gently checking to make sure you're alright. He looks you over carefully, then gives you a small smile. "I'll only say this once but," he says with a hint of admiration, "you're one tough son of a gun, y'know that?"

The sudden laugh escapes your lips, mixed with still lingering tears that you hastily wipe away. Embarrassed and feeling a pang of vulnerability, you try to maintain a brave face, not wanting to seem weak. "Born and raised right here in our fine city that is New York," you mutter, a shaky smile playing on your lips.

Mr. Bailey nods, his gaze shifting to your tape recorder still clutched in your hand. A curious smile appears on his lips as he tilts his head towards it. "A confession huh? Where the hell did you even get that fossil of a thing" he teases gently, his tone light.

“Don’t be mean, it’s younger than you” you shoot back, which has him barking with laughter you’ve never heard before.

It’s in this moment, you begin to wonder if maybe you’d severely underestimate and misjudged Mr. Bailey.

But then again, it’s safe to admit to yourself how deep your trust issues go due to the hand that your parents and Uncle played in fucking you up.

Maybe it’s time to, you know, pull your head out of your own ass like Anika said and go see a therapist.

That’s when you hear a deep voice call your name, once and then twice, you look up to see the last person you ever expected to see here.

And when Mr. Bailey straightens up and stiffens next to you, you know what’s coming. He stands and strides towards your Uncle with purpose, it makes you want to melt into your seat into nothing.

Cease to exist all together.

Maybe you can find a phone, calm your friends, which you’re pretty sure Mr. Bailey already told them you’re okay, you lost your phone in your getaway earlier.

It’s hard to hear, but just by reading their body language, you can tell your Uncle is getting a far worse ass chewing than you got. It gives you sadistic pleasure knowing this.

But then he looks over, and your intestines twist uncomfortably. He never cared about you, you were always a burden to him, an inconvenience. Given he never hit you, hurt you in any way physical, as a matter of fact that’s the problem.

He did nothing. Nothing.

And with that thought, follows the next, which is the realization that he had done nothing. He’d been accused of murdering your parents, reputation ruined by rumors.

Maybe he’s just broken too, and didn’t know how to heal. No, that’s no excuse for how he treated you-

“Hey squirt” his voice pulls you from your thoughts, and you look up.

He’s stood a few feet away, wringing his jacket between his hands in front of him. He looks exhausted, dare you think he even looks worried.

Good, motherfucker.

“Why are you here” is your first words to him in over four months, knees tucked up to your chest as you mold yourself to the leather seat you’re sat in.

You see Mr. Bailey off a bit of ways away, talking to another officer, but he’s watching. It brings you some ease.

Derek has yet to reply, clearly not sure why he’s here either, at least you assume he mustn’t.

“I got your call” he starts, which doesn’t make sense because you never called him, it’s only when he elaborates that you understand.

“I never thought I’d see that landline number pop up on my phone again, I know it wasn’t you but… I knew I needed to come back to make sure you were alright”.

Anika’s call to him from the morgue, that makes more sense. But he recognized the number, which means your dad must’ve called him from there all the time.

And then, you realize something horrifying, he’s talking about your parents.

“Why” you spit venomously, the swirl of your emotions in your chest are currently not in favor of him “you never gave a shit before.”

“Because not giving a fuck kept you safe from the truth, alright?” He snaps back, that familiar tone makes you wince involuntarily. Eyes down casting, which he seems to notice as he sighs and deflates.

“That’s such bullshit, Derek” you mutter, and he doesn’t offer a reply, he most likely agrees with you.

So when he sits next to you, it takes everything in you not to physically shrink away from him.

“You’re a perfect mix of them both” he tells you, looking to a spot on the floor between his boots, “the woman I hated… and the man I loved that was taken from me”.

Now that, you were not expecting.

And he knows it, as you snap your head up, your brain starting to hurt. Is he implying what you think he’s implying? How much more don’t you know?

You say nothing, in fear he’ll stop talking if you do.

“I’ll give you the bare bones, prestigious and over the top religious roots is where we come from. I met him in my frat at college, he was…” Derek has a ghost of a smile on his face, it almost hurts you “everything to me.”

Then his expression falls, eyes glazing as he seems to lose himself in the memories, “when it got serious, I brought him home to meet the family. Our relationship was under the radar of course, and when your mom met him it just… shattered everything”.

You swallow hard, trying to categorize and work through all the new information. It still doesn’t excuse his actions, but you’re now starting to understand him for the first time ever.

“They hit it off, he broke it off with me, they got engaged. I begged him not to do it, she overheard, told everyone I was trying to seduce him, called me a-“ he stops, face twisted sourly, “I got blacklisted from the family from that moment forward. No chance of telling my side or defend myself, nothing”.

That hurts, because now you really see the bigger picture, “and when they died… everyone thought it was you” you say softly.

He looks up at you, eyes red and rimmed with tears, and if you weren’t already overwhelmed you are now. You’ve never seen this man cry before.

“Another chapter of my life ruined by something I didn’t do, at least this time I could tell my side. When the jury ruled me innocent, CPS came to me, told me your dad had signed me as your legal guardian if anything ever happened” Derek continues, which that alone has your eyes widening as you sit back.

The small action makes Derek laugh, gesturing vaguely with his hands “yeah you’re telling me, I shit my pants, I never thought-“ he stops and shakes his head, sighing as he looks back down again.

“I didn’t want you at first, and I know you know that, but… it wasn’t you. It was never you, it was them I held a grudge against. To do that to me, and leave me with their spawn felt like a slap to the face-“

“It’s not like I asked to be born” you say defensively, which has him give you a look that reads ‘stay with me, I’m getting there’.

“I owe you more apologies than anyone walking this planet, you didn’t deserve any of that” he says slowly, as if the words taste like sawdust in his mouth “telling you I’m sorry wouldn’t suffice-“

“-not even close-“

“But I’ll do better” he looks to you again, sitting up straight, and all you can feel is panic.

Or just maybe, maybe it’s hope, but you’d be a fool to think so… right?

“Don’t bother, you’ll disappoint us both” you mutter curtly, years of neglect and abandonment making the beating in your chest claw its way up to your throat.

He makes a face, and then there’s an awkward pause of silence, and then… you both laugh.

A broken child, a lost soul, deeply damaged if you’re honest with yourself.

But not alone.

previous.

AN: shout out to all the anons who helped me build this prologue brick by brick.

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you #pip anon

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