#please forgive meeeee!

[zevrra]

Hello! I was hoping to request something for Gaara with his wife reader? Like them making up from their first real argument and it gets NSFW?

needy—

tags: suggestive content, 18(+), slight nsfw, naruto, gaara x fem!reader, short & sweet, anon request

creator notes: sorry this is for one, so short! and for two, sorry it took me a little while to respond/finish! i started writing it and was several paragraphs in before i realized i was writing something else completely unrelated to your request so i had to start over aaaaa!!!! so so sorry about that but i hope you enjoy! thanks for requesting!

It didn’t take a genius to figure out he had been avoiding you. Anytime you’d reach for his hand, he’d pull away just far enough so you didn’t touch him. And when he did let you touch him, during any moment of intimacy, he broke all of it off after mere moments. Claiming he was tired and needed to go to bed early for some meeting in the morning.

You had been married to Gaara for a year or so now so it wasn’t as if you two were teenagers sneaking around anymore. It was frustrating but mostly strange to you. His actions made you second guess yourself. What if he was rethinking your relationship? What if he was falling out of love for you? So many emotions and thoughts ran through your head on the daily but today you were getting answers. Even if it was going to be a hard pill to swallow you had to know what was being done wrong.

And as soon as he got home from his work that day, you confronted him.

“Welcome home. We need to talk,” You say, trying your best to put on a brave face and voice.

Gaara looks at you with his usual gentle face. He’s hesitant for a moment, as if he knows what is coming, before he settles into a chair at the kitchen table.

“What’s been going on recently?” You ask. His eyes avoid you. Shame written on his face.

“It’s nothing,” Gaara whispers. His colder tone makes your gut twist.

“Nothing?” You scoff. “I think avoiding me for as many days as you have been isn’t ‘nothing’.” You mutter, irritated.

Silence falls between you two. Which is not unusual but this silence is painful. Thick and suffocating. Not the usual calming, healing silence you two share. This silence made your heart race far too fast.

“Is it me?” You ask in the coldest tone you can muster. “Have I done something wrong? Am I not enough?” You speak harsh words. Yet they’re the words that have haunted the back of your thoughts for days now. Souring the image of yourself inside and out.

Gaara jerks at the words. He looks at you in pure disbelief as if he can’t understand what you mean. “No-“

He tries to stop you but the floodgates have already opened. All of your feelings and your thoughts pour out of your mouth like rainwater. Tears fall when you try your best to will them away but it doesn’t help. You sob into your hands as Gaara moves to your side.

He’s no longer hesitant as he wraps his arms around you. Lifts you into his chest in a warm embrace. Hugs you so gently it makes you hiccup.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles into your hair. Apologizing like his life depended on it. He smooths loose strands of your hair away from your face. Wipes the tears from your cheeks and eyelids. All while he kisses the crown of your head. It was more affection you’ve received from him in weeks and it damn near broke your heart all over again. “I’m so sorry.”

You quiet your sobs. Breathing in deep in the hopeful comfort of your husband’s arms. One of his hands moves to clasp at your neck, using a finger against your jaw to lift your gaze to his.

“It’s not you.” He whispers. A kiss is placed on your forehead. “You’re amazing. Truly perfect, my dear.” He adds with a quiet chuckle. His thumbs swipe across your cheeks to collect whatever trail was left behind by your tears.

You sniffle. You must look like a horrible mess right now but it doesn’t stop him from kissing you. As if a fire has broken out inside of him, he kisses you with every ounce of passion he’s ever had. Tears threaten to spill once again at the first kiss you’ve two have shared in such a long time but he pulls away before that can happen.

“I want you so bad.” Gaara admits with a shy look on his face. His thumb swipes across your bottom lip. “From the moment I wake up, I want you more than anything,” He whispers under his breath as he soothes circles into your skin. Touching you so delicately like you might disappear. “It scares me how badly I want you. And I’m…just nervous my feelings will run wild and I’ll end up—hurting you.” He mumbles, glancing away from your gaze.

You suddenly realize he means the sentient sand that is always at his disposal. Sand that acted on its own sometimes and he was so worried about it hurting you he tried to keep his distance. All because of his love for you.

Your own emotions overcome you as you kiss him in response. Arms wrapping around his neck with ease as his own wrap around your waist. And now he holds onto you for dear life. Touching every inch of your skin he has so desperately craved but had been so hesitant to reach for. All while kissing you like it might be the last time. Passionate, eager, and hungry.

You two had some catching up to do.

“To bed?” You mouth against his lips between kisses.

He breaks ever so slightly, a red blush to match his hair spreads across his face. “Are you sure?” He responds. Shy even as his hands, body, and soul yearns to devour you.

God you loved him.

“Oh, I’m more than sure.” You whisper, capturing his lips once more.

Without another word, Gaara is pushing you along to your shared bedroom. Eager to make up for his wrongdoings by giving you enough pleasure to make you forget every negative feeling you've ever imagined.

[redhotarsenic]

Random collection of trigun doodles

[nadekosnake]

neglected manuscript - Do you have a favorite novel?

from this ancient ask meme

LMAO NO!!! PICKING THE ONE I WAS AFRAID OF 💀 I could make it easy and lie but y’know what? We’re gonna be honest about this 🫡 Gonna be LONG bc I have 1) not talked with about this in any capacity with another human being before and 2) a pretty complicated relationship with this book 🤕

Content warning for CSA 👇

This is difficult partly bc I do love a lot of books but partly bc I don’t like to reveal my actual favorite book… I genuinely worry people will perceive me in a very negative way LMAO. My favorite of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 😶 It’s the book I’ve reread the most in my life so far and it is genuinely one of the best written books I have read 🤧 I think generally people are like 😰🤢 when you drop a bomb like that what’s typically supposed to be a light-hearted convo so I usually will say something else! Typically my safe answer is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (which genuinely was my favorite book at some point in time, we are not going to dive into this right now).

(A disclaimer as I talked about Lolita fashion before, I am aware that the fashion gets its name from the novel but that’s where the relation ends. I like Lolita fashion because I’m a loser that likes subculture fashion and not because it has the same name or any other connection to the book. That happens to be coincidental. I am staunchly against fetishization of the fashion ok thanks! 🙂‍↕️ back to the program!)

Brief summary for those who need it: Humbert (the narrator) is a scholar and a secret pedophile, who one day meets the Haze family for a home stay. He obsesses over the daughter, a 12 year-old girl named Dolores Haze, who he personally calls Lolita. Humbert marries Ms. Haze to be around the real object of his obsession. Through unfortunate events, he ends up Dolores’s sole caretaker. She lives with Humbert’s constant sexual abuse that spans a cross-country roadtrip, but eventually she runs away with the help of another pedophile. Unfortunately it is not a happy ending. Despite Dolores’s escape from both pedophiles, she dies before she can rebuild a normal life with her future family.

The first time I tried to read it, I was too young (around Dolores’s own age 🫥). It was recommended to me by another middle school girl! God knows what the fuck we were doing back then LMAO but the girl who recommended it to me said it was a love story. Older man girl our age whatever. Tbh when I started it I understood that it wasn’t a love story… and I couldn’t finish it because of how uncomfortable it made me. I reread it a handful of times between middle school and uni with varying degrees of success, and I only really started to grasp it when I reached uni. I do think I was entirely too young to read the book or even understand it, and thankfully it was not used as a tool to manipulate me. It was a dicey time tbh. When I was growing up, there weren’t communities of young women that centered around accepting Dolores Haze as a victim.

I think there’s a disclaimer for those you haven’t read it and think it glorifies CSA and pedophilia. It really does not. Nabokov himself was a victim of CSA and did not condone it. I think that the #1 thing that movie adaptations and pop culture struggle with is that people believe the narrator point blank. So the adaptations all have this horrible romanticization of the story at their cores. People even struggle with understanding the book because the narrator is an Educated & Scholarly Man who is like ✨I’m a poet I’m a sensitive soul and we poets just believe in love✨ like NO!!! The whole point of the story is that he is an unreliable narrator!!! The narrator is a murderer, rapist, kidnapper, and if you’re actually paying attention you see it all with your own damn eyes! And of course nobody really does pay attention! 😭

So like, why is this my favorite? This is also complicated LOL, but I think that there’s a couple of main reasons.

Ultimately, to me, the novel is a puzzle that Nabokov invites you to solve. You have an unreliable narrator, but he’s an excellent manipulator. I think a lot of people lose “the game,” so to speak, the first time they read the book because the narrator is so good at making you see only what he wants you to see (he loves her, he’s just a nice sensitive guy who lost his first love too early, he’s doesn’t mean to hurt “his” “Lolita,” she “seduced” him, she “makes” him do horrible things to her, etc). It is written so well, and since the character himself is a professor and an intellectual, I think it’s easier for folks to let their guard down and to literally be tricked. Genuinely speaking I struggled with what to believe too, especially as a child. The only reason I didn’t buy into the “love story” bit was because by some intuition, I was aware that something Bad was happening despite the narrator’s insistence that it was all good. Tho I could not pinpoint what it was at the time.

But once you break past the facade and you’re fully paying attention the novel, it is like two stories in one. One hand, poets romantics in the name of love blah blah blah, but on the other hand? Dolores is a girl from a broken home, who’s mother is murdered by a man that wants to rape her. She’s kidnapped and shows clear signs of abuse (triggered by paternal affection, cried herself to sleep every night since the abuse started, bouts of disassociation, extreme rebellion towards Humbert, etc). Some of this stuff is actually glossed over by the narrator, but signs of a whole other part of the story are literally right in front of you if you’re paying attention.

For example, there’s a single line about Dolores’s mother, Charlotte, where she reveals in a letter to Humber that both her first husband and her youngest child (Dolores’s baby brother) died. And the narrator does NOT give a rat’s ass about this woman or her woes so it’s never talked about again. It’s whittled down to one single dismissive sentence, and I missed it tons of times. But knowing that, it makes sense why Charlotte acts as she does, why Charlotte and Dolores’s relationship is fraught. And why Dolores acts as she does at the beginning of the novel. Literally the Haze family is going through extreme grief with barely the emotional resources to process a double death in their immediate family. Without that context though, you’re just going along with whatever Humbert wants you to believe. You don’t see who Charlotte or Dolores are as individuals. You miss a chunk of the truth. And that’s literally just one of the smallest instances I can think of. There’s so much to dig through both directly and in between the lines. Nabokov is so deliberate with his writing and so extremely detailed that there’s a LOT of things that are easily missed unless you read it multiple times. This shit is so detailed, there’s scholars dedicated both to Nabokov and to Lolita the novel.

I think the last big reason I keep coming back to it is because I think it’s something so deeply rooted in society, you never really live without Lolita. The book has been bastardized to hell and back because most people, especially those in power once again, Do Not Understand how to read this book. So we’re left with not necessarily Dolores Haze, but this enigmatic “Lolita” the abstract figure of Humbert’s delusions. She is so influential, we all live our lives with her whether or not we’re aware of it. Coquette aesthetic? Lolita. Lana Del Rey? Katy Perry? The Police? Lolita. Marc Jacobs? Carven? Lolita. Vladimir? Excavation? My Dark Vanessa? Lolita. Heart-shaped sunglasses? Lolita. Butterflies??? Yes, Lolita. You can even go so wild with the connections to the point of bringing up the goddamn Lion King (animated 1994 version, Scar is voiced by Jeremy Irons who played Humbert Humbert in Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaptation).

And it’s this constant reminder, every day. You pass by her on the Internet or in an ad while you’re out and about. She lives in the shadow of your acquaintance or your loved one. She haunts everything in a very real and literal sense. I think that’s what keeps me coming back to the book… even if I wanted to forget about her, I don’t think I ever really could.

[barklikeagod]

accidentally clicking on the chair icon in build mode is a death sentence

[spyctoes]

And even after falling completely and the worst of all, massacring the entire temple obiwan still loved him and wanted to forgive him😭😭😭, straight up told yoda like 2 seconds after they both watched the holo recordings “im not gonna kill him, nope, wont do it.” LIKE ANAKIN YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU HAVE NO FCKING IDEA HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU ARRRGGHEHHEHEHHH HE WOULD HAVE FORGIVEN YOU PLEASEEE

Thinking a lot about how by the time TCW comes about Anakin has already committed a grievous sin, already committed a massacre, already chosen his side in some ways. The man Ahsoka knows, the only version of him she ever gets to know, is built on an assumption of purity he has already lost.

He has already begun to fall, and this slip contributes in so many ways to his inability to pull himself back. Because the only person other than Padmé he tells his crime to is Palpatine, because he's the only person who won't judge him (and that in and of itself is a measure of his immaturity–– because he deserved to be judged).

And this contributes so much to Palpatine's control because he has this piece of the puzzle, this ability to go "Oh, but what about this?" any time Anakin tries to pull back from Palpatine's confidence. Because they both know if he ever admitted it to the Order he'd forever lose their approval, and that's what matters most. So Palpatine has this advantage, because he knows more about Anakin than anyone else and Anakin doesn't feel he can confide in anyone else.

But the thing is: for so long, Anakin wants to be better, wants to amend himself for this sin and more than once wants to confess to Obi-Wan, but every single time Palpatine is able to go "Oh but he thinks he's so much better than you, he would never understand you, he would judge you and tell the Order and they'd cast you out" but... Obi-Wan would have forgiven him anything.

I think a lot about Obi-Wan being such a Perfect Jedi (in the eyes of everyone else if nothing else) and how much that hurts Anakin. Because every time he tries to pull himself back from the ledge this epitome of what it means to be a Jedi is just there in his face reminding him of his own failure

[daily-sirius-gibson]

I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday! I’m sick and I literally. I literally made the post and then proceeded to fall asleep for 4 hours. Without. Without posting it.

[nyangau]

coughs up the 50 thaumarks to tell u i love ruggie <3 yaay excited to see a ruggie blog!

*I try to pocket the thaumarks just as ruggie snatches them bc this is his blog, not mine*

I'm so happy to be here!! Albeit rather nervous... u.u I love ruggie too, i hope i can portray him well!

[moonyhasmanyanimals]

I just realized... I HAVENT WRITTEN SHIT! I AM SO FUDGING SORRY!!!

I'm so sorry to keep you all waiting!!!

😭😭😭😭 I'll get on it right away!

[cryptidghostgirl]

CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR

I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢

ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)

OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]

A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3

Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)

Paring: Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)

Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Alastor Master List

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.

It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.

Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.

It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.

Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.

And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.

Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.

Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.

"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."

She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.

"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."

Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.

Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.

Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.

It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.

Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.

Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.

The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.

Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.

Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.

When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.

Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.

He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.

It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.

Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.

As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.

"Why isn't it working!"

Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.

"Why do I have to be..."

There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Why can't I just be skinny."

Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.

"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."

Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.

"Yeah?"

Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"May I come in?"

Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.

"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.

It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.

Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.

"No. It's not."

She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.

"I don't... what's wrong?"

"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

Y/n's eyes went wide.

"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,

He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"

Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.

"I-"

"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"

"I..."

"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"

She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.

"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"

Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.

"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.

Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?

Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.

His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....

Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.

Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.

"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."

At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.

"But I'm not that woman!"

"Woman... what woman?"

"The one you were with at the cafe!"

"The one... Rosie?"

Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.

"You saw me with Rosie? How?"

"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.

"Good."

"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"

"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."

Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.

"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."

Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."

"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.

Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.

"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"

Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.

"Come with me."

"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.

Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.

Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.

"Where... where are we?"

"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."

Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.

"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"

"No, you're quite perfect actually."

"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."

"No." his voice was firm.

"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."

To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.

They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.

"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."

"Y/n."

"No."

"Y/n."

"No!"

Y/n, please."

She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.

"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."

"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.

"I pinky promise."

He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.

"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."

"Okay."

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.

"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"

Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.

"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."

He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.

"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."

"But you never talk to me."

"You never talk to me!"

Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.

"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."

Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.

"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."

Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.

"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."

Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.

"Do you see now?"

Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.

"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."

"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."

He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Who is Rosie?"

Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.

"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."

"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."

She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.

"It was advice about you, actually."

Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.

"About me?"

"Y-yes."

He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."

"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"

"Wait, you were avoiding me?"

His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.

"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"

"You think I'm hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"Maybe."

They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.

"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"

"To what?"

"To letting me... be... with you."

Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."

----

Tags:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170

A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.

[kissitbttr]

I need more sweet moments with frat!miguel you owe us for hurting us with the argument one🔫

HSHDHDJDHDH I’M SORRYYYY MY LOVEEE PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEE

BUT OKAY!!

—

miguel rarely comes to your cheerleading practice. not because he doesn’t want to but simply because his training and yours are always on the same day,

he does get to see you from afar though, thank god both of your teams share the same field. only a few yards away.

every time he goes on a water break, he uses the advantage to keep an eye on you for any injuries that might happen.

though he would definitely admit that is not the only reason why. miguel always find himself huffing and puffing at the male coach who keeps grabbing you by the waist and stuff. his assistant is no better.

‘they’re my coaches, miggy! how am i supposed to understand what to do if he didn’t show me?! plus it’s not like they’re flirting with me. cheerleading includes body contact’

yeah okay, that makes sense or whatever. but he still doesn’t like it.

he loves watching you train though. the flexibility you have within your body makes him go crazy. he always tries his best to catch you doing splits, bridges, toe touches etc, anything that includes you showing it off,

especially in those tight shorts you’re wearing right now that accentuates the shape of your ass,

“o’hara! done ogling your girl?!”

he peers over his shoulder to see his coach expressing annoyance. arms crossed, brows dip into a frown. behind him, glen and two other guys are stifling their laughs,

but miguel doesn’t feel embarrassed of getting caught. instead, he smirks cockily and shrug. “can’t blame me for having a pretty girlfriend, coach”

“yeah yeah—get your head back in the game” coach instructs with stern voice. “or i’ll put you on the bench” he threatens,

miguel scoffs with a smirk still on his face. hands on hips while chewing his gum. “no you won’t” he challenges, earning himself a warning glare from the old man. “who’s gonna lead the team if it ain’t me?”

“you forgot the vice captain?” beck points at himself with a grin,

miguel just shrugs. “compared to me? we know the answer to that, kingsley. the team then erupts in strings of ‘ooh’

“oh cocky now huh?” beck throws him a ball expecting him to get hit, but miguel’s reflexes are always on point. catching it with one hand, so effortlessly

“what’s that about putting me on the bench, coach?” he teases with a laugh, watching him sigh in annoyance,

before he could muster a response, miguel’s ears perk up at the sound of his favorite voice. a bright smile breaks out as he turns around, seeing that it’s you.

“miggy!!”

the team groans when miguel abandons the ball and completely shift his attention on his girlfriend. running towards him in your team’s sports bra and bright pink nike pros,

miguel extends his arms open, without second thoughts you jump at his embrace with a giggle. his hands holding you tightly by the bare thighs. legs locking around his hips as both of your sweat clinging onto each other,

“this is a nice surprise, baby—but i smell really bad right now” he chuckles, though makes no effort in putting you down,

“i like you better dirty” you shrug, looking into his eyes making him groan,

“naughty girl” he pecks your lips. “you done with practice?”

“mhmm” you hum. “gimme a second okay?” you wave at the coach and team. “so i know you and your brothers are having the weekly party tonight, buuut—i have a proposition”

he cocks an eyebrow, “that doesn’t sound good”

you roll your eyes at his teasing manner. “how would you feel about—skinny dipping with me tonight?” a whisper comes past your lips, and you almost laugh at how fast his eyes suddenly brighten more,

“wait—for real?!”

with a nod, you continue. “the community pool that i’m working at will be closed early for today and guess who’s got the keys? me!” you cheer, “what do you say?”

“baby—do you really need to ask?!” miguel feels his pants growing tight at the thought of him and his girlfriend swimming naked later tonight. “fuck yes! i’ve been wanting to do that for a looong time”

“okay good! because i’ve been feeling rather bored with bikinis lately. i think its time for my boobies to be out in the open you know? free the nips”

“you’re killing me here, can’t say that shit now. still got an hour and half to go” he gestures towards the boys who are still playing ball, waiting for the team captain to join. “okay, no parties for me—just you and i tonight”

he puts you back down on your feet, grabbing your face and presses his lips against yours making both of you smile. “get outta here” he smacks your ass in a playful manner making you shoot him a warning glance, in which he only puts his hands up,

“see you back home, miggy!” you call out while running back to join the other girls

“fuck i love hearing that” he mutters, watching you run and let his eyes wander down to the shape of your ass. “and i love you” he points at the shorts you’re wearing,

beck could only shake his head at the sight of miguel still watching you go along with a few of other guys,

“can’t believe i’m saying this but—i prefer him not having a girl”

“nah man, you can’t say that” beck fist bumps a shoulder of another kid. “he’s happy. let him be”

“yeah and a pervert” carlos rolls his eyes, throwing a ball towards glen’s direction. “he gets pissy when i interrupt his game but won’t say shit when y/n is around”

“can’t blame him for simping. she’s hot” another guy jumps in, but only loud enough for miguel to not hear,

“ay coach!” carlos calls. “why were you just standing there and not pull him away or something, man?! you do that with the rest of us!”

“you kidding?! that girl’s scary when she’s pissed. better to let her do her thing and back off. now o’hara get your ass here and finish the scrimmage!”

[sweetheartmotives]

`; 三 Clumsy Yandere;`三

Desc and possible Tw: Yandere themes, sexual themes, kidnapping, crying (from clumsy yan), begging (from clumsy yan), clumsiness/falling, angst. BIG angst!

Let me know if I missed any!

The weather was warm and the time was 2pm. You were out with some friends/family at a pizza shop and a family member/friend decided that you should come! You were on your way back to your and your family/friends' private room, until you saw someone fall, and to make it worse, they had a drink and it spilled everywhere. You decided to help them out! You walked over and he was already scrambling to grab some napkins and clean it up, you came over and helped him. He cried and thanked you. After that day, you earned yourself a stalker.

��• Clumsy Yandere who… you met in a very pathetic way. Soda all over the floor and you both on your hands and knees cleaning it up.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… is actually a loser. He doesn't go out unless he's forced to. This was one of his many embarrassing moments. But unlike the others, this one had a good outcome!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… waited for you to leave. It was dark outside, so following you wasn't gonna be hard.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… was horribly nervous when he followed you. If you turned around, he'd probably cry!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… follows you home and gets your address. Then he runs away..?

•• Clumsy Yandere who… gets your number, socials, etc. He spends the whole night searching for you on the Internet.

He got ur number thru ur address.. don't ask how

•• Clumsy Yandere who… jerked it to your pics. If you don't have any on social media, he probably took one 78 while stalking you.

Onto the genre stuff! :]

•• Clumsy Yandere who… drools over you. He can't get enough of you, so don't mind the drool dripping down his chin!

Casually drooling over you

•• Clumsy Yandere who… cries when you are loud. When they first took you down to their basement, you cried/yelled. They began to panic and cry.

PLEASE STOP He sobs

•• Clumsy Yandere who… is hopeless. They cry and beg for your forgiveness.. What can you ask? Anything!

M'sorry! I'm so sorry! Please forgive meeeee!! He whined and cried.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… created a playlist for you. They like romantic gestures! (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡

•• Clumsy Yandere who… does whatever you like. Wanna crochet or play video games? They're down!

Oh? Uh.. yea we can!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… was shy about sex at first.. but then humped your leg and cried about how much they loved you.

Mmm..~ ahhh~ I love you.. love u so much..

•• Clumsy Yandere who… likes to paint! They've painted portraits of you and gifted them to you.

Ah.. my love.. look what I made for you..! He hands a nude painting of you to you.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… does whatever you want. And he doesn't whine or cry! Pretty great, right?? :3

Of course my love..

•• Clumsy Yandere who… is a crybaby. He's also a really nervous/anxious person!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… has a resting sad face and always looks like he's gonna start crying :(

•• Clumsy Yandere who… owns 3 cats! Tax Fraud, eepy, and coco ♡

•• Clumsy Yandere who… is a loser. A very pathetic loser. No further explanation.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… always trips over his own feet. At any time in the day, he trips. Does he cry every time? Nope, but he's always close to tears and he'll be horribly embarrassed.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… gives kisses anytime of the day. Sure he's super shy, but that doesn't stop him from giving kisses! :)

Mwah mwah mwah (〃ω〃)

•• Clumsy Yandere who… lets Stockholm syndrome do its thing. Until then, he'll shower you with praise and love!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… knew it was wrong to kidnap you, but.. is it bad to be a little selfish?..

I'm sorry my love.. I just really wanted to be with you..!

•• Clumsy Yandere who… if you're really suffering while being with him and Stockholm syndrome doesn't work.. he'll let you go. He can't stand seeing you upset.

Goodbye.. my love.

•• Clumsy Yandere who… in the end, will always love you, even if you leave him.

My love.. I'll love you no matter what.. even if you hate me. My love will never stop..

This is a bit of a long wait! But I hope you enjoyed it as I enjoyed writing it! (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡

[sansloii]

Oh…

Oh.

The older man can do little else but start at Jinx as he fully processes all of what the other says, brows lifting in mild surprises as it all settles in. He hasn't been on the receiving end of a confession in many year and, truthfully, he… he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to think beyond “Jinx confessed to me” and as he inhaled silently, lips parted a couple for an equally silent exhale.

Part of him could already feel the weight of Jinx's anxiety permeating off of him ( if the rambling wasn't already a clear indicator of that )… and, likewise, he could feel something similar clutching him loosely. It likely wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as Jinx's seemed to be… but that didn't make it any less there.

“I…” — and he trails off for a couple moments before clearing his throat. “…It wasn't weird, first of all.”

“And I'm really flattered by all that, Jinx. I'm always willing to help out whenever you need me to or just… hang out but I, ah…” Another moment of silence. “…I see you as a friend. I enjoy your company just as much — trust me — but I'm just… not good at all that emotional stuff.”

Not anymore, at least.

@sansloii​

“H-hi, Roderick. Sorry for asking you to some over all sudden, and I totally get it if I pulled you away from anything, or if I’m being annoying…”

Rambling already, always a good start. But sue him, he was nervous! Even though Jinx had gotten to know Roderick and knew he wasn’t the type of person to flip out over stuff like this… well, anxiety was a bitch sometimes.

“So, um… I’m not really… experienced with saying stuff like this, so I’m just gonna. Say it.” He takes in a deep breath, and stares down at his hands as he lets it all out.

“So… I like you. Like, I like you, a lot. You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, you’ve helped me out so much around here, and you’re honestly so damn good looking that it makes me wanna pass out sometimes.” Yep, no way in hell was he looking Roderick in the eyes after that word vomit.

“Um… yeah. Sorry if that was weird or anything…”

[striveattemptfail]

chaos, we so catostrophic | Logan Howlett & Wade Wilson, 1.1k, PG-13

@poolvertober: Day 17 – Cozy

Summary: Takes place immediately after Wade introduces Logan and Mary Puppins to Al. This is 100% dialogue and is more gen than slash but we all know the truth ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) TW: Rated for canon-typical violence, gun use, mentions of drugs/alcohol, language, and death of a nameless rat. Read on Ao3

A/N: I'm taking today's prompt real fast and loose here so please forgive me lmao. Title from Chk Chk Boom by Stray Kids because I'm still offended it wasn't included in the OST, smh 😑 Shout out to the wonderful Zay @comatose--overdose for the beta, idea throwing, and putting up with my ass (ಥ‿ಥ) All other mistakes are mine.

❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛❤️💛

“It’s like an armadillo fucked a gremlin, angrily, and in a bed of gonorrhoea—”

“Wow.”

“—and didn’t stop ‘til the sun came up!”

“Whatever it is, I ain’t taking care of it.”

“Don’t worry about that. Besides, we should talk about how Logan is here to live with us!”

“No, I’m not...?”

“How the fuck are we supposed to keep a mangy dog and another whole-ass human being alive in this shithole apartment, Wade?”

“Gasp! How dare you call her mangy? She’s a princess and deserves to be treated like royalty!”

“And you want her to live in this cocaine-less den?”

“Did you just say ‘gasp’ out loud, bub?”

“The movie’s almost over, so I can probably hook you up with Doug’s forbidden baking powder soon. I’ll figure it out!”

“What about the entire man—”

“Ooh, that he is.”

“—that you intend to house in this one-bed, one-bath?”

“I’ll only be here until I can get on my feet, ma’am.”

“Nope, you’re staying here until you’re 90! Also, ‘ma’am’? Logan, I’m pretty sure you’re twice her age.”

“What the fuck?”

“Oh yeah, Logan’s the Wolverine and he’s, like, stupid old.”

“Fuck you.”

“...I thought Wolverine died?”

“This is a new one.”

“How the fuck did you get a fucking new one?”

“I’ll give you the abridged version of the movie later, after everybody settles in.”

“Wade! For fuck’s sake, I can hear you leaving—don’t you dare walk away from me!”

“Don’t you dare walk away from meeeee!”

“Singing Whitney doesn’t answer my question about how the hell we’re fitting three people and a dog in here!”

“We’ve got a pull-out—haha, pull out—in the living room and an XL twin in the bedroom.”

“My bedroom, Wade!”

“Bub, are you fuckin’ serious?”

“Hey, if the fanfics can make it work, then we’ll make it work!”

“I cannot believe this shit. This dumbass never listens to me.”

“Jesus fuckin’ christ. Althea?”

“Yes, Logan?”

“Ya got any booze around?”

“I think there’s beer in the fridge.”

“Booze? Already? It’s not even—Al, what time is it?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Right, blind, can’t see the time.”

“If that wall clock’s right, it’s 3:14, bub.”

“It’s not even 4pm and you’re already drinking?!”

“If I have to put up with your hairless-brained bullshit, yes, I am.”

“I’d be more offended at that joke but I’m honestly impressed, pookie.”

“Seriously? For calling you bald?”

“His standards are in hell used as Satan’s spreader bar where he should’ve gone instead of rooming with me.”

“Hey!”

“Pfft!”

“Unbelievable, I can’t believe—oh, no! No no no no, Lady Leprosy With Legs, don’t nap in that! That’s where Daddy keeps his knives.”

“That’s what I’m trying to talk about, Wade! Where the hell is everyone supposed to sleep?”

“You and I can bunk together like we used to, Al. Logan can take the pull-out.”

“Oh, friggin’ hell—no. You and I will share that damn couch and Althea can keep her bed.”

“Thank you, Logan.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet, sugar tits!”

“Now, what about the dog?”

“She’ll get a dog bed, duh.”

“What? D’ya just have a dog bed lying around somewhere?”

“I do, actually! But where did I put that thing?”

“Are you serious?”

“Convenient, huh! I found it in Al’s shit when we moved in together and decided to keep it. I’m guessing the author got too lazy trying to figure out a better way to include it in this fic.”

“...He just says shit sometimes. Don’t mind him, Logan.”

“I’m well aware. You’re a weirdo, bub.”

“Thank you! I’ll take that as a compliment. Now, if I remember right—SHIT!!!”

“What?!”

“The fuck’s happening?!”

“Ah, shit, fuck! There’s a rat!”

“A RAT?!”

“Althea, where did you get that gun—put it down!”

“POINT ME TO THE FUCKING RAT!”

“Al, put the fucking gun down!”

“GET RID OF THE RAT FIRST!”

“Arf!”

“Mary, don’t touch that thing!”

“Fuckin’ hell, bub, grab Mary while I—”

BANG!

“AL, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE—”

“Arf-arf! Rrrrruff!”

“WADE, GRAB THE GODDAMN DOG!”

“NO, GET THE FUCKING RAT FIRST!”

“Mary—!”

BANG!

“AH!!!”

“Althea!”

“Jack Kirby’s giant ballsack!”

“Did I get it?!”

“Fuck no! You hit me, you empty-eyed, shit-for-aim walking corpse!”

“Rrrrrrafff!”

“Logan, keep her from shooting this way!”

“Just let me aim for the fucking rat!”

“Althea, please just hand me—”

“Get your goddamn hands off my glock!”

“Then stop shooting!”

“Mary, wait—!”

BANG!

“Rrrrrragghhh!”

“Ho. ly. shit.”

“What the fuck happened? Did I get it? Is it dead?!”

“You’re such a good girl, yes, you are!”

“He better not be talking to me, I swear to god.”

“Little miss angel face here just caught our uninvited guest!”

“Grrrrrr.”

“Wade, get that thing out of her mouth before it catches rabies from her.”

“Wow, rude, she doesn’t have rabies! Also, I’m pretty sure it’s already dead. She’s got no teeth but a hell of a bite, don’t you, my lovely bundle of herpes and joy?”

“Just get the fucking thing out of here!”

“Ugh, fine, jeez louise—come here, girl. You did such a good job, yes you did! Thank you for killing that thing! Now, let’s go toss it out.”

“The dog caught the rat?”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Well...I guess it can stay then.”

“Really? The dog’s already in your good graces?”

“You’re the one who tried grabbing my gun.”

“Because you were shooting everywhere!”

“And now you’re arguing with me!”

“...My apologies, ma’am. Won’t happen again.”

“Just keep your word and it’s alright.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Alrighty! Time to go look for that bed again.”

“Anybody want a beer?”

“Can you grab me one, Logan?”

“You already finished that whole can?!”

“‘Course I did. All that shit gave me headache.”

“Welcome to a day in the life of Deadpool and Blind Al, peanut!”

“I did this to myself. I chose to come here. How the fuck did that happen?”

“I wonder the same damn thing all the time.”

“Your beer.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“I can’t believe it’s been less than five minutes and both of you are already ganging up on me!”

“S’not hard to.”

“My Wolvie is so mean! Aha, here it is! I knew I still had the old thing. Here you go, my fearless guard dog.”

“It was a rat, not an intruder, Wade.”

“She protected the house and killed that pest. She’s practically a guardian angel!”

“Eh, good enough for me.”

“See, Al gets it!”

“I still ain’t looking after that thing.”

“That’s fine. Logan and I will!”

“I did not sign up for that.”

“You did when you agreed to crash with me!”

“Is he always like this, Althea?”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

“Make yourself cozy, Logan, because it only gets better from here!”

“God help me.”

“God help us all.”

“Arf!”

[knotworshipper]

wanna fuck with an older guy so bad, ooops im sorry i didn't mean to rub my ass against your lap sir !!! im just so small and silly please forgive meeeee:3 huhh? what's that bulge in your pants for?

[inthethickofbleeding]

Thoughts on Bridgerton S3

I'M JUST RANTING OKAY I've only seen part 2 once and these are just my thoughts and feelings I am gonna throw here and delete later when I probably change my mind after rewatching?? I just gotta rant😭

Penelope was so gracious and understanding and forgiving and I felt she deserved, in many moments, to be rightfully more upset, more vindictive, more fiercely witty and proud. Though I do LOVE all the things getting resolved and solved and brought to light and happy endings (I actually do love it), the journey there for me was missing a healthy and (imo) realistic dose of female rage. Just for the dramaaa come on. All the other drama going on here and Penelope is 'grateful for your counsel?' bfr. I'll show you grateful for your counsel by hating on it! She can show everyone her heart AND her teeth. She is more than capable and I thought that her character was reduced too much in the last four episodes. Penelope I want you to have everything, including your full range of emotion and humor and wit. Drink more w/ Madame Delacroix okay?? And with Lady Danbury.

I feel like my husbandColin was weirdly sidelined? I'm actually quite grateful for Part1 Colin, because I haven't landed anywhere yet with Part2 Colin. I knew he was jealous, I knew he was always going to forgive her...and we all knew he loved her....so the conflict/tension between them was not as interesting- for me! Just for meee. And stupidly drawn out. FOR MEEEEE. He had taken so many 'gallant' steps in his relationship with Penelope so when their wedding day and night and subsequent honeymoon days arrived and he was stuck in that attitude I was so unmoved. Don't play with me, Colin. Go worship your wife.

I JUST WANTED ANOTHER PURE VIOLET MOMENT! OF ANY KIND! Like before/about her dance with Marcus come oonnn! This is Violet! Please for the love. Also give me a convo with her and Penelope! Just one real one?? Damn. Her resolution with Francesca was alright? I guess. I do love that she isn't perfect with all of her kids, esp her daughters. But I feel they planted a lot of stuff for her as a mother and as a woman wanting to 'tend to her garden' you know? And it fell awkwardly for me. My favorite Bridgerton forever though.

HATE HATE HATE that Colin went to Cressida's house to make things worse trope. Seen it before. Didn't like it then and I don't like it now. AND he was forgiven so quickly. Absolutely not. DO NOT GO INTO ROOMS ALONE WITH ANYONE ANYMORE COLIN BRIDGERTON UNLESS IT IS UR WIFE PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME SLASH MY SCREEN. Go home to your wife and fix it there before you try to be all heroic outside of it okay. I will shave your head. I think I need Daphne.

Dear Eloise, you don't know what it is to be a friend, to have a friend, or even to lose a friend. Maybe I'm interpreting it wrong, maybe I don't care idk. But we start the show humanizing Cressida, bully since season 1 episode 1, THROUGH Eloise. BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR THE FRIENDSHIP TO MEAN SOMETHING TO EITHER OF THEM Eloise willfully gave up, walked away, ran to the comfort of her privilege with her family and way-too-understanding friend. HOW DID WE CHAMPION SO MANY WOMEN ONLY TO ABANDON THIS THING W/ Cressida at the end as she was literally sent away alone.

Lady Danbury complaints similar to Violet. She is usually a more prominent player, so when she wasn't this season, well, I missed her and wanted anything more about her. But! Love her all the same.

HOW DARE THEY throw Kanthony back and forth all weirdy like that. Kate is here, just let us have Kate. And her lil loving husband. Come oooonnn. Three babies at the end and none of them Kate's😭 And Violet was overwhelmed and they didn't get to have another moment?? A lot of off-screen moments are told to us and we just get to believe whoever says whatever. Every actor here has shown they have skills for show-don't-tell productions! All those beautiful eyes! I just am feeling upset about the random use of this gorgeous couple. EVEN ANTHONY, Viscount and eldest brother of them all just walks away at one point when Colin is obviously needing more of him. Whatever.

Why why why did we have an original song PLUS an orchestral cover of it for both to be so unused??? Tori Kelly's song is so wedding-coded and so romantic and earnest. But it didn't make an appearance for Polin at all. Not at their wedding, not in their home, not in the carriage, not anywhere...

Maybe unpopular opinion but I hated "Yellow" being the wedding song. First see the point above and then please please just remember how much Penelope did to distance herself from that fucking color and the horrible memories of it. NOW! IF COLIN HAD MENTIONED IT SOME WAY OR WHATEVER THEN SUUUURRREEE keep the song. HOWEVER. EVEN THE WEDDING WAS NOT YELLOW, HER FAMILY WASN'T IN YELLOW, WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL WHY IS IT THE FUCKING WEDDING SONG WHEN THERE ARE MANY OTHER OPTIONNNNSSSSS WHYYYYY (idc why, I just hated it, even if I did cry).

Benedict has been cute and boring for far too long and that did not change for me in this season. TWO BRIDGERTONS with queer representation in an already huge season with so many storylines going on, I wish we could've celebrated it better. Amongst the thousands of other things that were being celebrated, Benedict has still been separated from them in weird ways.

Not a big point, just an interesting one. But where did Debling go? He just effed off to the wilderness? We spent a lot of time with him (and Cressida) in the first four eps.....and then he was gone.....okay.

Charlotte, I love you. You should know that first. But man you love to crash a party, and a wedding, and I just feel like you should've at least killed someone by now with all these theatrics. Even for Charlotte, I felt she was strangely incorporated into this last half of the season. She and Penelope are technically equals in many many ways- BUT WE NEVER GOT TO SEE THAT WIT AND BANTER PLAY OUT MORE WHYYYY

All in all. It's just my rantings. I was absolutely in love with the first four episodes. There was something so fairytale about it and it was so romantic. So, yes, I was disappointed in part 2 on the initial watch, despite the many things I loved about it. There was a lot going on and, sadly, most did not land for me. Yet.

It's a good show, I still love the show. I will be watching the show. Give me more of the show lol.

[imanobeymestan]

I'll just leave this request here🦝

So, Percy x fem!reader during a quarrel. The reader forbids himself to be kissed and hugged as a punishment. It would be nice if Percy tried his best to sneak at least one kiss. And the reader simply ignores all attempts (eats ice cream, reads, just does anything but his boyfriend).

I'm sorry for my English. But I hope everything is clear😅

thank you for the request I hope you like it and sorry if i didn’t do it how you wanted.

you and your boyfriend ,Percy got into a little argument eating to much blue food and now you’re still mad at him

Percy: [name] i said I was sorry a bunch of times please forgive me

but you just ignored him and went back eating ice cream and so whenever Percy would try to kiss or hug you you either dodged or ignored him

[name] : piper what do I do I got into a fight with Percy and now how won’t leave me alone.

piper : well umm how about you accept his apology’s and advances yeah mhm *nodding* you should totally do that. [name]: thanks for the advice piper next time Percy hugs or kisses me I’ll hug him or kiss him back

it wasn’t that hard to find Percy because he came to you Percy : name forgive meeeee

[name]: ok ok Percy I forgive you * hugs him*

𝘉𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘶𝘴:( ˘ ³˘)♥ piper: wow my advice actually works

@8neimora8 I hope you like it sorry if it’s ooc