#//Sorry I've never read the novels of where your character is from

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

hi! sorry if you've answered this already, i tried to search your blog and didn't find much, but we all know the tumblr search function is...uh...but i'd be deeply curious to hear your thoughts about Stephenie Meyer's "The Host," specifically re: treatment of the issue of souls' colonization and possession of other species...and obviously, since i'm asking you, an animorphs blog, this, my curiosity is definitely coming from a place of comparison to animorphs, but that doesn't have to be your focus!

from the posts tumblr's search algorithm did grant me, i gather you see it as wanda unlearning the colonizer's propaganda stance she takes at the start of the story, which i agree with!

but i guess every time i read it, i really can't help but feel...unsatisfied? with the way it actually engages with the horrors and colonization of it all?

sort of like, okay, The Host is this one very individual YA romance story in a sci-fi setting, which is obviously different from a heavily-Star-Trek-inspired middle-grade series about guerrilla warfare and is going to grapple with these issues differently...but still! i don't leave feeling satisfied with how it engages with consent of "host" bodies the souls are in, and i don't feel satisfied with how it engages with the souls' systemic behavior!!! but i can't really put my finger on why, and i just...was curious, i guess, whether this was something you had thoughts about.

(full disclosure: i'm asking you specifically because one of my HUGE points of existential dread on my first adulthood reread of The Host was how Jodi never wakes up, and her boyfriend just starts implied-dating the soul who's in her body? or how kids who are infested from birth are just...gone, and they were like "well sweet we can just put Wanda in there, this is a perfect solution!" and that I think hit me so hard in comparison with having read Eleutherophobia--which is, by the way, a masterwork of fanfiction that wrecked me, overwrote canon a little bit in my brain, and I think fundamentally changed how I see the possibilities of writing and narration, so, you know. thank you for that!)

(also like, i know there's different worldbuilding where it's implied most hosts just...go away...but do they actually? because Mel and the Seeker's host are still there, which kind of implies to me that it's more of a problem than the souls want to admit?! and even outside humans, all the memories, and compulsions toward certain behaviors are still there! what makes a person in this universe of Meyer's?! it's kind of fundamentally horrifying?!)

apologies for this extremely long ask, haha, and i hope you're doing well, love your blog, your writing, and all your thoughts!

Oh my god, ALL OF THIS. I thoroughly enjoy the first 98% of The Host. It's a romance novel about consent! Where the characters have to struggle to resolve the plot in a way that gets the permission of everyone in the love quadrangle to boink everyone else, and spends over 500 pages doing exactly that! It's anti-imperialist as fuck! It's got an amazing supporting cast, like every Stephenie Meyer novel! The imagery is unparalleled in its richness and coolness, because Stephenie Meyer! I've written fan fiction about it! I have an extremely normal relationship with Kyle O'Shea!

And then Sunny. And then Wanda's unnamed second human host.

I think that Meyer, either because of romance genre conventions or pressure from publishers, felt she had to write a happy ending. But the book does such a good job of setting up an unresolvable moral dilemma — either Wanda gets to be with Ian, or she does the right thing by giving Melanie's body back — that there is no path to a happy ending. If Ian did as Wanda asked and sent her in a jar to some other planet, romance fans would feel cheated. If Doc did as Melanie asked and let Wanda stay in her body, then the book's anticolonial message would be for nothing.

But resolving it through PARASITING A KID IN A VEGETATIVE STATE? What if Doc makes Wanda a nice robot body? What if Wanda stays in a jar, but Ian finds a way to join her in the jar? What if she and Melanie set up a time share? Uuuuuugggggghhhhh. The Host was THIS CLOSE to being the best anticolonial novel ever written, and then falls on its face inches from the finish line.

Which, aside, is the reason I don't think Animorphs would ever work with a happy ending. "Happy" for the protagonists would never be morally okay in the bigger story.

[glassica]

Second Male Lead

Notes: M!yan 2nd male lead, Gn!reader*, jealousy, reincarnation, obsessiveness, possessiveness, implied potential kidnapping and murder *reader is more like an observer, not shipped with anyone

-> part 2 with different yan

You got second male lead syndrome.

No matter how much author emphasizing the undeniable chemistry and love between the main couple your eyes only had him. With brownish eyes reminded of untouched sacred woods and dark silky hair slicked back, he was a perfect balance of not too interesting to overshadow the male lead while unique enough to stand out from the extras. Friend of female lead from childhood, he'd always been by her side protecting and looking out to her well-being, hardly be wavered unless it was a matter regarding the heroine. His silent thoughtfulness reserved only for the main character had charmed thousand fans of the series, which included you.

In the previous world you kept daydreaming about travelling inside the novel just to whisk him away. After all, you read countless isekai stories where protagonists from your world winning the heart of abandoned side characters. You were sure you could do the same to him, by showering him with endless attention and love he didn't get from the female lead. In no time he'd be head over heels for you!

"Apologize, but I fear I'm unable to return your sentiments."

Giving you a polite bow, he gently turned down the bouquet of roses which you'd painstakingly catered to match his taste. Today was the equivalent of Valentine in your old world, you were determinded to catch the love of your life at all cost. His rejection throbbed your heart a little, but you weren't the one to back out easily. That's right, you'd been waiting your whole life (actually two) for this moment, you just needed to keep up a little more.

"No sir, please don't be sorry. I'm the one who out of the moon confessed to you. Of course you would be startled!" - you replied cheerfully, trying the best to hide your disappointment. "My feelings came out too strong, but if you don't mind, would you mind joining me for a dance later?"

"I'll have to decline that. I've never been a fan of dancing. I'm really selective in choosing partner and to be honest, there's only one I ever want to take to the dance floor."

You knew right away who he was talking to. The nobleman didn't even bother to be subtle, as the whole time talking to you his eyes unchangingly laid on her. Shining with glitter and lace, basking in attention of the whole ballroom, the heroine was there, hand in hand with her royal lover, rejoicing herself to the dreamy sound of orchestra. The scene was wholly magical, breathtaking,… and perhaps jealousy-inducing.

For obvious reason this lit a fire in your stomach. You cursed the author for making it almost impossible for you to leave any impression on his mind, when your competition was the center of this universe and everyone’s darling. In the midst of envy, you blurted out words that forever detrimented his opinion about you

"She’s engaged to the Crown Prince."

"I know."

"Sir, she would never look at you with those eyes. Perhaps you should look for someone who will appreciate and reciprocrate your passion."

Now you had his full attention, not a positive one mind you. Shooting an icy glance visibly filled belittlement and fury, as though he was sneering at you extra character for having audacity to dictate how he should live his life.

"Oh well, she will soon. You don’t just assume I’ll sit there and let any vermin taking what’s rightfully mine, no? You believe I would be that selfless of a man?"

For the first time ever in your interaction had you sensed enthusiasm in his often monotomous voice. That’s right, the second male lead never got emotional by any happenings until it was about his target of affection. In other words, he would get ruthless, pretty, pretty ruthless, when anyone ever presented as a threat to his relationship with main character. He clashed plenty of times with the Crown Prince at the beginning of the book, then slowly retreated to the background after realizing his childhood friend was serious about His Highness. Lots of readers pointed out how odd he waved the white flag so effortlessly considering he had vehemently expressed dislike towards the male lead. Everyone collectively chalked it out as plot hole, but what if…

No, you shouldn’t dwell further than that. Epecially right at this moment you witnessed with your own eyes two extremes of emotions on the man’s face. The intensely lustful heat and adoration following every movements of the heroine, the bloodlust and pure venom on his pupils when looking at the Prince. You vaguely had a gist of what was going on in his mind, and it wouldn’t bode well for you to stick your nose into that.

Funnily, all that jealousy for the main couple you felt earlier was fully replaced by pity and well wishes now. Perhaps staying as an extra wasn’t a bad thing after all.

[mysterycitrus]

Hey there, Happy New Year! Sorry if this ask seems confusing.

I've really come to enjoy your blog as someone who is kind of new to navigating the world of comics and how to read them and you seem to be one of the people that's more vocal about all the fanon and canon differences and how that damages people's perception of characters. I'm just a bit confused in what you consider to be the difference of headcanons and fanon, I know fanon is a more of something that a big number of people believe, but if someone headcanons something that isn't covered in canon, would that be "bad" or fall on the fandom category?

Hope this doesn't sound mean or anything, I'm just a bit confused

hello!! welcome to batburger!!!!

wrt fanon vs canon my issue is this — parts of comic fandom are very vocal about not engaging with the source material. deciding what fanon is “good” vs “bad” isn’t the point because im not interested in policing peoples fandom experience. however there is a point where i don’t understand what exactly some people are fans of, because what they talk about is so disconnected from the original text.

imagine meeting a hunger games fan, and when u ask about their favourite movie or book, they instead tell u that they’ve never read or seen any part of the series, exclusively read fanfiction, and then inform u that they believe president snow is peeta’s grandfather and that actually haymitch was the authoritarian mastermind behind the hunger games. that doesn’t make any sense, and has no basis in canon. it’s a very extreme hypothetical, but i wouldn’t really take what they say about the hunger games seriously. it also reminds me a bit of the hp marauders fanworks that exist almost autonomously to the books (while still containing the same issues as said books).

most fanon enjoyers (and this is particularly pervasive with batfam fans) enjoy characters and relationships that simply do not exist. that alone isn’t a problem (crackships and headcanons have existed since ye olde star trek zine days) but the issue is that these fanon interpretations are loudly asserted as being the correct way to engage with the characters. i do not believe it should be controversial to prefer characters in their canonical text, or to ask why some fanon content is taken as gospel, especially when so much of it is racialised.

this lends into a wider trend where these headcanons are respected more than canon despite often being actively reductive, accidentally demeaning, or just plain bad faith interpretations. it’s much harder to combat the racism present in conversations about damian wayne when the people in question aren’t grant morrison or judd winick or scott snyder, but instead a nebulous group of people on twitter.

flatly, i encourage people to read the source material. there are a lot of comics, but googling ‘[literally any character] reading list’ has literally never been easier. start by consuming the movies or cartoons or films or shows or the one volume graphic novels, then pinpoint what u like and start from there. people are discouraged from reading comics — and they shouldn’t be!! especially for popular characters there are very accessible starting points!! u will find characters to love with rich history and lore!!!! support queer artists and artists of colour who are actively changing the industry!!! i guarantee that the fanon version of that male character u love is actually originally from a female character with a great miniseries written by greg rucka!!!!

[frostfires-blog]

Hello, it's MXTX Ask Game :

1.) From the 3 works by MXTX, who is your favorite (canon) couple? Why?

2.) From the 3 works by MXTX, do you have any non canon fav ships?

(FYI, I have at least 10 non canon ships from those 3 series, sorry)

3.) From the 3 works by MXTX, do you have any favorite quotes (from each series)?

4.) Who is your favorite love interest in MXTX three novels (luo binghe, lan wangji, mobei jun or hua cheng)? Why?

5.) Who is your favorite mc in MXTX three novels (shen qingqiu, wei wuxian, shang qinghua or xie lian)? Why?

6 a.) Which do you think is more tragic, Yi City arc or BeefLeaf arc or the Fallout between Shen Jiu - Yue Qi? Why?

b.) Can I ask your opinion on the comparison between bingqiu, wangxian, moshang, and hualian (their plus and minus sides)?

P.s 1 If you have not read SVSSS, it's okay, then you can answer based on TGCF & MDZS. But if you have the time, please read SVSSS, too. It's so funny. Yes, they're not as deep as TGCF or MDZS, but still have depth in the story.

P.s 2 As Jiang Yanli fan, do you love the canon ship of Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan? For me, she is too good for him, and I'm not really the biggest fan of JZX.

P.s 3 As Yushi Huang fan, too, I'm so happy and excited that you include her in your top 5 fav characters in TGCF. You're the first one that I know of that include her in top 5 favorite. Until now, I thought it's just me (and I have been TGCF fan since 2020). Also, who do you ship her with? I ship her with Pei Ming (sorry, please don't be mad). It's just funny that playboy like him meet a woman that he can't seduce like her. Oh and in the new revised version, it's canon that Pei Ming have a crush on Yushi Huang.

Sorry for my long ask.

[Hey! Once again, thanks for sending me this! Sorry, it took me so long to get around to it. To avoid offending anyone, I would want to stress once more that these are just my personal opinions.]

1.) Some of you will call me predictable for this... I'm sorry, but it has to be HuaLian. They are the epitome of enduring love and devotion to me. They embody so many tropes I love while remaining so refreshingly impactful. Their journey, their struggles, their aesthetics... I just adore everything about them. I've mentioned this before, but their relationship feels so authentic and sincere because their affection for one another is built up so steadily and meticulously. Their affection for one another is truly palpable through every held glance, melodic sigh, and subtly delicate touch. Undoubtedly what makes them not only my favourite MXTX ship but also my favourite ship of all time is that they embody the concepts of loving someone without expecting anything in return and loving someone at their worst; that sort of unadulterated, unconditional love is something I aspire towards but will likely never find.

2.) Regarding non-canon couples, I support many fan-favourite ones, but I am not as passionate about them as most other fans are. In fact, I partially understand MXTX's decision not to make any more side ships canon. The ones I'd say I have positive feelings about are the following...

⚬ BeefLeaf: They're my favourite non-canonical side ship in the MXTX universe. Admittedly, I didn't take much note of them on my first read-through (which is my attitude towards most side couples). I wanted to feature them in my side edits earlier this year, but sadly there wasn't enough material for them. ⚬ Pei Xiu x Ban Yue: Underrated but pretty cute ⚬ Pei Ming x Yushi Huang: I'll expand on them at P.S. 3 ⚬ FengQing: A classic. ⚬ QuanYin

⚬ SongXiao: Another classic... I've heard that the Yi City arc was supposed to be a separate story entirely, so I feel like this makes sense. They remind me a lot of another ship, but I can't put my finger on it.

⚬ A lot of you are going to be mad at me for this, but I really like LiuShen—as in Liu Qingge x Shen Yuan (aka our Shen Qingqiu). SVSSS is the only MXTX novel where I ship the protagonist with anyone else other than the main romantic interest. While I could see certain characters having one-sided feelings for Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian respectively, I can't see either of them returning those feelings at all. Shen Qingqiu is just so shippable for some reason—so I totally get why he is shipped with a lot of other characters. As for LiuShen I just like their easy dynamic—namely the trust they place in each other and them being on almost equal footing. Also the tension, the denial, the pining...

3.) Honestly, there are a myriad of quotes I like—but for the sake of keeping this brief, I've picked out a few that I found impactful. Since I've only read SVSSS once—and haven't done a hanakotoba analysis post on it—I didn't have a list of quotes at hand like I did for TGCF and MDZS...So there are fewer quotes listed for it. Additionally, the tone of SVSSS is very different from that of TGCF and MDZS, so finding fitting quotes was more difficult... Everything Shen Qingqiu says and thinks is especially hilarious, but I didn't want to post anything crude or too colourful here...

+ Bonus: My favourite non-serious quote from each series...

4.) Definitely Hua Cheng (surprise surprise). I just love how sincere, charming, and straightforward he is compared to the other male leads. I think he has the coolest design out of the four as well. While he might not have as complex of a backstory as the others, his sheer commitment and charisma more than compensate for that. His sassiness and snarkiness is really endearing as well. I really do like Lan Wangji, but I have complicated feelings about Luo Binghe. Somehow I always forget about Mobei Jun—he just doesn't have much presence, though his awkwardness and stoicness are entertaining in their own way.

5.) I truly like all the MCs though, which makes this choice a lot more difficult. Shen Qingqiu is so funny and relatable—as is Shang Qinghua. Wei Wuxian is so multi-layered, charismatic, and inspiring. Xie Lian is so profound and endearing. In the end, I'd have to say Xie Lian is my absolute favourite, though. What sets Xie Lian apart for me is that his kindness stems not from him being unable to see the bad in people, but from him actively choosing to believe in their goodness. Despite being subjected to tremendous adversity, he continues to be resilient and virtuous. Even so, he is not a perfect character and has made mistakes—but he has learned from them and has grown immensely from his experiences. This makes him not only incredibly captivating but also immensely inspirational. Furthermore, his awkwardly blunt humour is both relatable and endearing.

6a.) Damn, this is a tough one. They are all impactful scenes in their own ways so I'm going to go by process of elimination... The "fallout between Shen Jiu and Yue Qi would probably be in last place. This isn't to say it's not tragic but rather that I wasn't as emotionally invested in either character as I am in the others. It was a necessary part of the plot and I can understand both of their situations. That is to say, I couldn't see things turning any differently. Next would probably be the Black Water/Beefleaf arc. This arc didn't really hit me on my first read-through because I was mostly focused on HuaLian. Also, I was very suspicious of Ming Yi so his betrayal felt a little anti-climatic—not to brag, but I have a pretty good eye for that kind of thing. That being said, I still was somewhat taken aback by his motives. On my second read-through, I started becoming more invested in all of the side plots, and it all hit me much harder. What pulls this down to second place is that I can greatly sympathise with He Xuan. While Shi Qingxuan didn't deserve to be punished for something, he had no active part in—He Xuan's feelings were justified. Given that their respective conclusions in the series' final volume have left room for a possible reconciliation—I selfishly and delusionally hold onto the hope that they will.

This leaves the top spot for the Yi City Arc, which gripped me from the first time I saw it. This hits me so much harder since, by its end, 4 lives are irrevocably changed. Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan and A-Qing truly deserved better. While this arc is often overlooked and criticised, I think it's one of the most complex and powerful arcs in MDZS. The dynamics between Xiao Xingchen, A-Qing and Xue Yang are incredibly complex—with the latter's motives being much more complex than simple revenge. A-Qing's strength and bravery truly stood out to me while Xiao Xicheng's compassion and selflessness were truly moving. Although the arc mostly consists of flashbacks, it still ties in well with the present storyline. The parallels drawn between the main cast and the Yi City group are very clever and add depth to the series. What truly makes this arc heart-wrenching is that its conclusion leaves no room for any hope whatsoever. It's truly a heart-wrenchingly beautiful story.

6b.) In all honesty it's difficult to compare them given their respective complexity and differing circumstances... While I'm not sure if I answered this in the intended format, I did my best.

i) BingQiu: ➜Pros: ⦁ Binghe's assertiveness complements Shen Qingqiu's evasiveness and willful ignorance well. Considering that Shen QIngqiu would likely never be honest about his feelings unless prompted. ⦁ They are the most complex MXTX pair, as both characters are grappling with numerous actual-life problems (such as comphet and abandonment issues, respectively), which lends them a sense of nuance and authenticity. ⦁ Shen Qingqiu shows commitment to learning to be more accommodating of Binghe's relationship needs towards the end of the series while Binghe is learning to make necessary compromises. ➜Cons: ⦁ They have differing values, with Binghe caring only about Shen Qingqiu while Shen Qingqiu cares about other characters, which is a source of contention between them. ⦁ Sometimes, Shen Qingqiu doesn't respect Binghe's agency or personhood and makes high-handed decisions on his behalf. While this is not done maliciously, it nonetheless hurts the latter. This stems from them never truly stepping out of their roles as student and master. ⦁ Oftentimes, Binghe's possessiveness and jealousy terrify Shen Qingqiu (and me)—this causes him to flee from Binghe, aggravating the latter's abandonment and control issues. ⦁ Shen Qingqiu's lack of transparency with Binghe—and himself—is another issue. While the system prevented him from being transparent for a long time, I was disappointed that we never saw him come clean to Binghe at all.

ii) MoShang: ➜Pros: ⦁ The trope of an author's love for their character being reciprocated is very indulgent and gratifying. ⦁ They gradually bring out the best in one another—with Shang Qinhua becoming more standoffish and bold while Mobei-jun becomes more expressive and compromising. ⦁ While they face many of the same issues as BinQiu, I feel like they efficiently subvert many of them. For example, the uneven power dynamic of Mobei-jun being much more powerful than Shang Qinhua and the latter's fear of him is subverted by Shang Qinghua being the creator of PIDW and thus having a degree of omniscience over its characters, setting, and plot points. ➜Cons: ⦁ The physical violence and master/servant aspects of their dynamic are off-putting. ⦁ The lack of straightforward communication between the two results in many misunderstandings. ⦁ In comparison to the other main pairs, they are not as noticeable, defined, or developed due to their limited screen time and prominence in the series.

iii) WangXian: ➜Pros: ⦁ Their natural chemistry is exemplary with each of them supplementing the shortcomings of the other. ⦁ Despite their opposing dispositions and approaches to things, they share similar values and priorities—which enables them to respect and trust each other and collaborate effectively as they mature. ⦁ The extras highlight how, after getting together, they continually work to understand each other's boundaries and learn to accommodate each other's needs. ⦁ Their adaptability is another one of their strong points as a couple. Although they are both pretty headstrong, in Wei Wuxian's second life they gradually learn to make concessions for one other. ➜Cons: ⦁ Their differing communication styles caused a lot of miscommunication and distance between the pair in Wei Wuxian's first life. Although I feel like they've considerably worked through this by the end of the novel and balance each other out nicely now. ⦁ Lan Wangji's limited expressiveness and directness are another point of contention. While Wei Wuxian's obliviousness is legendary, if Lan Wangji had been more transparent, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have misconstrued things to such a large degree. If not for Lan Xichen's intervention, Wei Wuxian might never have realised the extent of Lan Wangji's affection for him. However, over time, Wei Wuxian learns to better read Lan Wangji overcoming this obstacle.

iv) HuaLian: ➜Pros: ⦁ The age-old trope of "even if everyone abandoned you, I would still stand beside you" is unmatched. Hualian embodies the sentiment of loving someone not just at their best but also at their worst; which is an unparalleled depiction of unconditional love. ⦁ Their relationship was founded on a good friendship centred around mutual respect, open communication and sincerity. As such their interactions in the present time always feel comforting and natural as opposed to the other pairs. ⦁ Hua Cheng is very respectful of Xie Lian's agency and supports him in his endeavours. That being said he will step in when Xie Lian is being careless with his own wellbeing which is something the latter needs. ⦁ They greatly complement one another and have both helped each other overcome their respective issues. Namely, Hua Cheng being strong enough to help shoulder Xie Lian's burdens and continue believing in him even when everyone else abandoned him. In the same way, Xie Lian gave Hua Cheng a reason for existence and a place to belong—this not only gave the latter direction but also helped him to value himself more (since someone cared for him). ➜Cons: ⦁ They are sometimes perceived as dull in comparison to other pairings because most of the trials they face are of an external nature, which means they rarely deal with disagreements with each other. ⦁ Hua Cheng's lack of well-developed friendships with anyone other than Xie Lian is somewhat disconcerting.

P.S.1) I have read all three MXTX novels, though I rarely speak about SVSSS. This is mostly because I'm not the biggest fan of BingQiu and Binghe in general. This isn't because SVSSS is a bad book, but rather that I went into it with very high expectations and it was very different to what I thought it would be like. I'm not the biggest fan of the teacher x student trope or large age gaps, so that threw me off as well. Someday I want to reread it and take more time considering it as I do—since I feel like I've greatly misunderstood some characters' intentions midway, especially Binghe. Maybe I'll come to appreciate more someday after becoming more open-minded...

P.S. 2) I do like Jiang Yanli x Jin Zixuan (I would've mentioned them at #2 but you only asked about non-canonical ships). That being said, I totally understand your feelings—especially since I used to feel that way too. I only started appreciating the ship after having watched the live-action and rereading the novel. During the intial arcs, Jin Zixuan doesn't have much respect or care for Jiang Yanli—which was really upsetting. However, judging by the context given one can slighly empathise with his discomfort. After all, no one wants to be forcibly married off to someone they barely know, especially when your peers don't think highly of that person. The disolution of their enagement was something I think was totally necessary at that time. After the war, he grows up a bit—he realises how compassionate Jiang Yanli is after the Soup Incident... This is when his feelings start to shift and he starts pursuing her. Yes, his mother is encouraging him—but at the hunting tournament, he states that he is pursuing her out of his own volition. Added to this, the fact that, even as prideful as Jin Zixuan was, he was willing to put aside his beef with Wei Wuxian and not only invite him to Jing Ling's One-Month Celebration but also go to Qiongqi Path to fetch him to make Jiang Yanli happy really moved me. The live-action's added scene of him having lotuses planted at Golden Carp Tower so Jiang Yanli wouldn't get homesick was endearing as well. Ultimately, Jiang Yanli deserves to be happy, and she was happy with him, so I have no issues with their relationship. They both deserved to see their son grow up...

P.S.3) I'm glad you like Yushi Huang too! She's incredibly underrated—I fear most MXTX female characters are as well... I do ship her with Pei Ming as well—but I'm not too disappointed that MXTX never made them official. I also like the idea that Pei Ming for once wants what he can't have. Xuan Ji's curse on Pei Ming has indeed turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts... How awkward he is around her is incredibly amusing. As prideful as he is, he respects her. Somehow he consistently finds himself being saved by her despite his male chauvinism, which humbles him. I quite like their dynamic and wish we had gotten more scenes of them—hopefully, the donghua will expand just as they did with the Fangxin Arc. I've heard about the revised version but haven't checked it out yet. I'm quite attached to the original, and the bits and pieces I've heard about it have given me mixed feelings. I do like that MXTX expanded on Pei Ming's feelings towards Yushi Huang and hope to find time to read that part sometime soon.

[ Ahhh! Sorry for rambling so long...I wanted to make sure I covered all my bases, and ending up getting ahead of myself again... ]

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 2 Thoughts

Okay. I've had some time to consider the episode, organize my thoughts (potentially) but I think this still might be a bit of a ramble....sorry.

So we do start off right where we left off where they're coming back on the boat, and they're talking on the beach. I mentioned in my watch along a lot of these thoughts, so I'm kind of just expanding on them, so it might be helpful to read that first. But I've taken an interest in a lot of the body language happening in the show, and looking at the scene it gives me this feeling of Mut sort of invading Rak's space, but just enough.

Like their legs are entwined, but there's decent distance from their upper bodies, which given Rak's hesitation to get too close, or be too charmed by Mut really works for me. Given the scene prior, and Rak's sort of level of upset, it feels pretty clear that Mut is working to kind of distract Rak. And Rak basically jumps on that opportunity. It actually kind of reminds me of Sky in that way, like we don't have a confirmation of Sky's general MO in regard to sex, but the ONS read a little bit to me as an intentional decision to distract himself. I get that same feeling here, Rak doesn't want to think about why he reacted as he did, or consider how vulnerable he made himself, and so he kind of thinks by jumping into a sexual experience that will distract both him and Mut.

I have (as is kind of always the case with Mame) reservations on the kind of D/s undertones she uses. I got to be honest, part of the issue is the weird commitment to putting Peat's character in the more submissive position (she did it with Sky too) I honestly don't find that it suits him or his characters well, and is based solely on his body type versus his personality. Setting that aside for now, I will say that I appreciate direct expression of oral sex. In LITA specifically (I know I'm calling back to that a lot, but it's hard not to use it as a comparison, specifically for the NC scenes) we saw two separate allusions to oral sex, or honestly we were robbed of two NC scenes involving oral. The ONS, where Pai doesn't let Sky give him a BJ, and then the bathroom scene that ended up getting cut where we see Prapai giving. I made this observation (among friends, not publically...I don't think) that I think the intentional exclusion of that specific sex act in Thai BL leads me to believe there's a particular reason why it's not included. In terms of MM sex we see your standard penetrative sex pretty regularly, and then small sprinkles of handjobs in general, but oral is almost never even alluded to, much less shown. Now I'm honestly not super caught up on a lot of Thai BL, but I would say I've seen more direct expressions of oral in the last year, than I had seen in two years prior since I got into Thai BL. So overall I think it's a step in the right direction in encouraging a more well-rounded and accurate depiction of the gay experience.

In terms of the actual physical acting of the scene...I'm gonna say C+. It's less about their facial expressions and more about positioning and timing...in a way. I will salute the decision for oral sex if you're doing it on a beach, because that is going to be your least chafe-y option.

Following this we get a return of the humor with Rak saying they need to go back to the hotel room immediately...Clearly leading Mut to believe that the sexy times will continue, but they do not. Rak starts writing, we don't get insight into the specific scene, but I do wonder if the written scenes mirror the IRL experiences or not. Like how similar are they? During that time we see Mut basically pouting and then googling Rak. This gives us our first suggestion in the show I think that Rak is basically a self-insert for Mame. And we see the covers for The Boy Next World as well as Love Director, two novels that 'Rak' has written and are being made into series. He follows that up by checking what looks to be basically Rak's Instagram, containing many pictures of Rak looking incredibly attractive and then basically excuses himself to take a shower.

Rak finishes his scene, and I'm not really sure if he's kind of run out of mojo, or if he's just done with that scene in general, but he goes looking for Mut and he sure does find him. Now I did miss the arm movement initially and thought we were just appreciating the rear view so to speak, but then you realize that Mut is in fact jacking off.

Overall, it seems a case of "Well, we've already crossed the line" and we have the most minimal discussion of terms. I'm not a person who cares at all about the sexual decisions that adults make, but as someone who is close friends with people who have and continue to work in the sex industry, it is of course not a necessarily safe way to go about those types of negotiations. This is not a dealbreaker for me by any means in regards to watching the show, I genuinely don't expect anything overly realistic, it's just an observation.

Moving on to the main event as it were, the sort of antagonistic flirting is on point, which with Fort and Peat is not surprising. They mentioned that Mame gave them an opportunity to do what felt natural for their characters and I do feel that in the conversation and acting in the shower. Once we move back to the bedroom things move very quickly, and while I think the scene is very good, it doesn't feel passionate in the same way the earlier scene does, or previous NC scenes we've seen from FortPeat as PrapaiSky (except for one in particular and I'll get back to that). I'm not personally sure if this was an acting choice, if it was just how the scene ended up, if it was directing, I truly don't know. I think though it really fits the situation in a particular way. The almost emotionless sex feels appropriate because they don't truly have feelings for each other yet, not really. Flirting and attraction aside, there's not a true emotional connection, especially on Rak's part. And I'm sorry, but it reminds me of the ONS in LITA. It's the only sex scene we see of Prapai and Sky where there are positions where they aren't facing each other, which creates an emotional distance. It's why we see missionary position so often in BLs even when that may not be the go-to position for MM sex. Having characters face each other creates an emotional connection.

The choice makes sense if you consider that both Rak and Sky are going into this sexual encounter with the intention of maintaining emotional distance. And even Mut and Prapai at this point, while intrigued by this very attractive person, aren't coming into it from an overly emotional place. So, overall I do think in this scene it's a vibe that really works for me, and I'm interested to see how these scenes change as the characters open up more to each other.

Once Rak is done, he's very definitively done and sends Mut away, but does admit to himself that this Mut is one of the best he's ever had.

We then cut to the next day and get more of what I personally call Mut's village rounds, just him going around and talking to different people from the community, and we see more interactions with Palm, the bartender from episode one. They're interactions are really cute, I actually really enjoy him. He has good doofus energy. Anyway, after that Mut heads to the hotel because Palm told him that all the single staff there were trying to 1- figure out Rak's sexuality and 2- potentially woo him because he's rich. So Mut is there sitting with a group of ladies, to Rak's eyes he's flirting, but we don't hear much if any of the conversation, so it's unclear if there's actual flirting or if it's just Mut's general charisma. I also don't think we've gotten any specific clarity on Mut or Rak's sexuality in terms of whether they are gay, bi, or pan. I personally suspect that Rak does not feel attracted to women, but that's my own read on it. Mut is harder to nail down, but we haven't seen nearly as much of him in a flirting-approriate situation. But back to the point. Rak sees Mut with the women, he hears hotel staff talking about how he's a catch or something (I skimmed over that on the second watch, sorry) and he's jealous.

We see a peek at Rak's impulsiveness here (like the beach and the shower, and even the robe scene of last episode) and he sends Mut 65,000 Baht which is $1,771 in USD, so not small change, and basically comes up and stakes his claim on him. We get more of Peat's English here, and I'm guessing we might get more of it when he returns to Bangkok, or maybe just more if we see more conversations with Connor. I have feelings about the whole "I paid for you, I don't share", as discussed above, but I do think it gives insight to Rak, and the kind of slippery slope he's found himself on here.

Mut leaves with him after agreeing to feed him and we do get an adorable montage of them on the motorbike. While the tone of the episode shifts throughout, I don't feel like it's quite as abrupt as the previous episode, and I think the motorbike scene really sets up the future of Rak kind of finding some peace not only in Mut, but also in this rural community. Once they arrive at the area where the restaurant is we get the joke that the motorbike ride set up, which is that it may not be the best mode of transportation if you spent the previous night engaging in pretty vigorous anal activity. Fair enough, and the teasing there from Mut using his Southern dialect is downright adorable, but what's most interesting is we get confirmation that both Mut and Rak are out in their communities.

While this is not necessarily surprising with Mame, outside of her university set stories most of her characters are reconciled of their sexuality from the start. They may not necessarily be publicly out, but they're aware of and enerally accepting of their sexuality and even confident in it. I actually think Mame's spectrum of where people are at in their coming out journey is one of the better aspects of her shows, as it gives people at all different parts of that journey characters they can relate to.

We re-encounter Palm here, he's kind of similar to Mut, or at least Mut a few years ago, a less than flush native of the island who works whatever odd jobs he can find. Rak finds him a bit annoying which is fair, but I did enjoy the small bit of teasing between Palm and Mut. I think they have a pretty cute bro relationship. Once they go to sit down Rak (and we the viewer) get to meet another community member who heaps quite a bit of praise on Mut for his work and contribution to their community. Mut's shy reaction is very sweet and the scene overall offers a glimpse to Rak of the person Mut truly is, beyond the shameless flirt.

We also get backstory for Mut, learning that he had a falling out with his father at 15, leading to him leaving that home. It's not clear if his sexuality may have been a factor, but homophobic parents have been present in Mame's work before and are something that very sadly continues to be consistent in many queer kids lives IRL, so I don't think it's farfetched. This particular scene is one of the most well-acted I think we've gotten from Fort in it's minimalism. I think Fort feels comfortable with the flirty-charmer character type, and the way he holds himself, how he schools his face, his tone, as he talks about the fallout with his father is so well done. His eyes too, Fort does a lot of really excellent acting with his eyes. What particularly felt accurate to me was the sort of emotionlessness that we see. Experiences like he had, particularly with a parent are really hard to reconcile. As humans we want to have a loving relationship with our parents, more specifically we want to be certain they love us. When it becomes clear they don't, it's a very difficult thing to accept, in particular because it's necessary to simultaneously recognize that you are not at fault in the situation. That's kind of why most people require actual therapy to work through experiences like this. But when that's not an option, the way you deal with it is usually dissociation. You can't dwell on it, let it get to close, because then it will cause a problem, so you keep it at arm's length. That's what we see here with Mut, and what Fort portrays so well. We also get one of the most heartbreaking lines in Mut saying "My dad never takes back what he says. I suppose that's the only thing we have in common." Mut is proud of being a person who keeps their word, we see him mention it before, and we now see that it's a trait with a direct connection to his father. Seemingly the only potentially positive connection he can create there.

For Rak's part, we see those little cracks forming in those walls, he recognizes Mut's vulnerability, he's practically appalled at the idea of Mut's father kicking him out, which based on what we can presume is a very close relationship with his mother, sister, and niece, is understandable. He doesn't understand that betrayal from family really. But he's starting to see Mut as a more well rounded human being, versus the way he'd initially saw him which is solely a potential sex partner/distraction. We then start to get our first bit of insight into Rak when Mut asks him why he became a writer. In the voiceover we hear that he started writing to escape, but his spoken response is that it started as him just wanting to share stories he loved with people. Given that his chosen genre is romance, he wanted to escape to these happily ever after love stories, and share them with people who also want that, because to him happily ever after is only a fantasy, it's not attainable in the real world. Peat's body language is wonderful here, the crossed arms, and looking off kind of the side instead of meeting Mut's gaze directly show that he's being deliberate in how much he's sharing, but in the end I think he still reveals more than he intended with his answers. Mut questions if he's happy, and Rak says that if he weren't he wouldn't be Tongrak, the writer, to which Mut replies "That's all there is to life. And you've been doing a good job". Now I kind of feel like there's nuance missing in the translation, but I'm not the person to address that. But the sentiment seems to be 'happiness is what's important, and by valuing that you're doing a good job' and Rak is very touched by that. He says he doesn't recieve compliments very often, and while I don't know if that's fully accurate given his success and handsomeness, there's a great deal of difference in someone complimenting your work or your looks and someone recognizing that that you're doing a good job as a person, especially a person with a traumatic past. Being a survivor of any kind of trauma creates a lot of pitfalls that are difficult to overcome and create even a semblance of a normal life, and so having that effort recognized, even if not directly is really affirming. We see Rak very intentionally return this compliment to Mut, which communicates a level of recognition.

This conversation also kind of confirms for me that Rak is a bit of a self-insert character for Mame, especially considering that he brings up criticism that his stories get. I've never directly seen or encountered it, but I have heard rumors of Mame getting upset and even responding to negative critiques of her work. Her use of more problematic tropes is a valid criticism, and while I can see some progress from one series to the next, I do also feel like she falls back on what's "easy" instead of really trying to push her stories into more positive directions. While her sexuality is her business, she is a woman writing about gay male relationships, and honestly sometimes it's unrealistic to the point of being distracting. As I've said before, I don't truly expect realism from Mame, but her stories are meant to be in the genre of realistic fiction, they're not fantasy or sci-fi (leaving TBNW out of it for now). It's also very important to recognize that many gay men who watch BL do find some of the tropes she often uses to be damaging, both because they portray gay men in not the best light, but also because they set up potentially problematic expectations in young queer or questioning men who might partake in her stories.

We then cut to night again, joining Mut at home and he's trying to weasel information out of Kom, who does ask Connor, but Connor refuses to give any, only telling him to ask Rak himself, which I appreciate. We can suspect that Connor is kinda trying to matchmake here, but I appreciate him being a good friend to Rak and not revealing his secrets. In the end he calls Rak and invites him diving and we get to the last portion of this episode. Let us pray I can fit my thoughts in a single post.

Now aside from how honestly weird it is that Rak showed up for diving in a small fortunes worth of luxury jewlery (why?), when he sees Palm there as well he gets a little upset, seemingly because he thought there was potential for another hookup. Which I guess is fine, but why would you think diving is the code word for that, when it's literally part of how Mut makes is living? But moving on, they get out into the water, Mut get's Rak all set in his gear and as he's going to get Palm to help him get his gear on Rak goes ahead and dives (that impulsiveness again!). Setting aside my frustration with Rak's fully dangerous decision here, we do get a really lovely little scene of the underwater flora and fauna. Things take a downturn when Rak has a series of flashbacks. It's not really clear what triggers them here, but we see three scenes back to back. First his parents arguing, when he's quite young...8-9 (?), then him comforting his sister, both of them late teens it looks like (they look to be in school uniforms, but could potentially be college), after her boyfriend leaves her after finding out she's pregnant, and then with his mother again, the final sentence is a bit garbled, and not translated in the captions, but logically I think it's something along the lines of "Don't trust in love, if you don't want to end up like me."

As a child, watching two women he cares for deeply suffering because men that they trusted to love and care for them simply didn't would certainly put a bad taste in anyone's mouth about love. So we've kind of identified the catalyst for why Rak doesn't believe in love, even having witnessed it with Kom and Connor. Though I understand in the book there's perhaps some insight into negative feelings related to that relationship, and Kom "taking Connor away". I haven't read either Love Sea or Love Sand, so this is based off of conversations with people who have, so I could be wrong, but I don't think it's a stretch to think of Rak grappling with negative thoughts related to Kom and Connor, even if he's recognizing that those thoughts are a bit ridiculous. It's normal to mourn the loss of what was easy and comfortable when friends find romantic partners and you have to figure out what the new normal is, you just have to make sure you keep resentment and negative feelings under control and don't let them fester.

I will point out though, is that one cinematic choice that's made here is having the sort of washed out blue tones of the flashbacks match the underwater coloring. It keeps the scenes from being too jolting as they cut back and forth, an dI think it was an excellent idea.

Due to the flashback Rak kind of panics, looses his regulator and Mut basically finds him just in time. Giving him some mouth to mouth oxygen before getting him reset so they can go back to the surface.

This type of scene would have been very difficult to film, even if it wa managed in a single take, which is kind of unlikely, and so massive props to Fort and Peat for doing some amazing work here.

Returning to the boat we see Mut become very serious about how dangerous Rak's actions were, but that seriousness is balanced with a lot of empathy as well. I can't fully express my thoughts on the metaphor I feel like is intended in the "they need buddies" conversation, but there's something happening there. Mut does try to talk about why Rak panicked, but Rak shuts him down and we get a convo about the wordplay that is their names instead. Mut here is trying to lighten the situation a bit, and I think Rak kind of recognizes that, but is too stuck in his darker memories to really let it happen and he says something I don't know that he means to. That "Love is a figment of our imaginations". And he believes that, and you can see that Mut know he believes it, and his reaction is the most "Oh sweetie" look I've ever seen. (Seriously, Fort's expressions are always so fantastic). The moment is broken when Rak pulls a Kim Theerapanyakul and says "I'm hungry" and walks away.

We do get s teensy post credits scene which returns us to the restaurant where Rak sadly finds out that at many fresh seafood restaurants those tanks aren't just for ambiance (Bless you red fish for nourishing us) and we get some more good natured flirting from Mut "Will you eat me if I'm tasty"...boy if you don't.

Now we saw this same kind of thing last ep, where we ended on a pretty serious tone, go the end title screen and then a more humorous scene after. I think it's kind of intended to leave us as an audience on a more positive note instead of just wandering through the rest of our day traumatized and sobbing.

As we see the actual credits roll we get confirmation of my suspicion that the scene might change and progress as the episodes go on and indeed this episode we see Mut join Rak at the beach at a companionable distance. A bit curious to see if we might also have a change up when they go to the city.

Overall this was an excellent episode, clearly much to unpack (as you can see by this 4000 word post. It's well paced, the acting is very good, we're kept engaged as an audience. I didn't talk much about P'Vie and Mook, but I'll make a much shorter separate post for that.

[askew-d]

Can I ask your top 10 fav fics ever (from any fandom, if you don't mind)?

Also, just curious, is there a story behind your name "askew-d "?

hello, there! sorry for the long wait, i forgot to check my notifs :( i will do better next time. thank you for this question! i feel like i’ve waited ages for someone to ask me exactly that, lol. i could talk about well-written fanfics forever!! can i give you a hug? because this is wonderful, really.

let’s go for it! my range of fanfiction that i enjoy vary, but one thing remains: i will adore your fic, no matter the fandom, if it’s written with passion and if it contains good, poetic introspection. i love poetry. for me, if there’s melancholic tropes of any kind i’m into it. immortal character and reincarnation? give me now. supernatural elements or slice of life with doomed narrative? i’ll ignore sleep to read it. angst with happy ending? my endgame, for sure.

however, i also adore silly, comedic, cute pieces of domestic life or otherwise. i had a hard time choosing from my bookmarks for this, and i also reviewed some of my favorites, it was fun. before we continue, here are some of the tags that i don’t dive into for whatever reason: porn without plot (it personally just doesn’t interest me at all), non-con, gore, a/b/o dynamics, soulmates au. sorry if you were hoping for it! i’ll try classify them into an order of what i like most.

1. jellyfish, by mystery twin, for the haikyuu!! fandom — i read this when i was finishing high school and coincidentally the story talks about finishing high school! i have a personal attachment that makes me reread it every year. it’s some sort of tradition at this point. not to mention i love kagehina dearly.

2. teen project to change the world, by animeloverhomura, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — respectfully speaking, i would find this author and give them a big hug. their writing is spetacular! if you've never seen this one and you're into mdzs, know it's a story where the characters get to see every event from the novel and donghua, even the dead characters. they watch wei wuxian journey, can you believe it? so goddamn entertaining. promptly waiting for the next update!

3. a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow, for the haikyuu!! fandom — remember i said i love melancholic stories? well, this one broke me so hard, i had to mention how i hold it with tenderness (we love things that breaks us, dont we?). this fandom manages to write the cutest, most unhinged things sometimes. even it's an anime about sports. i always get amazed by it.

4. no certainty of doors between us, by betts, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — certainly the most silly little fanfic i've ever seen, it's hilariously sweet. i want everyone to read this masterpiece because, seriously, whoever did this deserves only the best. so, so, cute. it had to be in my top 10!

5. their kindred encounters, by fireflavoredwhiskey, for the untamed rpf fandom (bjyx) — you know those kinds of shows, books, any piece of media, that tears up apart? well, this one was it for me. it's a very famous one that deserves all praise, certainly well-written and enjoyable to the core, with doses of angst, romance and beauty overall.

6. as the clouds part and clear, we finally meet again, by 12262325, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — aaaaa, i was truly torn between putting this in the third or fourth place, but i ended up putting it here. come on, i love an age difference kind of story, especially for wangxian, and this one was perfectly done. sweet and funny. the development? the yearning?? outstanding!! i read this many times already, i'll never get tired.

7. pursuit, by emleewrites, for the haikyuu!! fandom — mystery, romance, lawsuits, poker games, adventure, slice of life, AMAZING depictions and so, so goddamn well-written? that's what you're looking for in any fanfiction. the author dedicated herself entirely for this story, and, like i said, i love stories that are written with passion, you can see it pouring through every paragraph. besides, highly entertaining. i'm not very into long fics, but once i started it off, i couldn't stop. that's how addicting it is.

8. linger by the door (i’ve always been yours), by piecrust, for the mo dao zu shi fandom — epistolary?? have i mentioned how i love it?? some of the phrases in this are gold, in my bookmarks you can check some of them (i ought to make a list of my favorite fic quotes, btw, i will sure do it). through each letter i could comprehend more of wei wuxian's feelings and his internal conflict. i love feeling this connected to a character.

9. all the world is ours to take, by khrys, for the fugou keiji fandom — i have more than one favorite fanfiction for this couple. you know these kinds of developing relationship where the transition from (maybe enemies too) friends to lovers happens so smoothly that it feels like they've been soulmates first and foremost at the end? i don't even know how to explain. i just love how, when they finally are together, it's like they've been together for years. and they just... made it official? i like it. i love my mr. kambe haru.

10. he won’t tell you that he loves you, by hellshandbasket, for the house m.d fandom — i found this to be the most fitting, perfect story for this specific couple. they deserved more stories like this, but we dont see it anymore. i would hightlight the feelings realization in this one, that is so fucking real? haha in any case, it's a fanfic that i enjoyed a great deal.

that's it, i guess! i wanted to add link click fanfics also, however i barely started reading fanfictions from its fandom, i'm drowning in it lately but it's just a start. perhaps very sooon!

oh, i’m gonna finish explaining about the name! in my native language, i’ve heard someone tell me before that ‘life’s a little askew, nothing’s ever perfect’, and that quote remained in every biography of any english website i ever went to. then in literature class someday i had to write about historical women and came across this one named anne askew (i wanted to write about the mostly barely-spoken women). it was the second time i saw this word. i didn’t think of it as a proper name before, but then i had to create a nickname for my ao3 profile and thought, humn, why not just ‘askew’? the quote has been engraved in my heart anyway, so i went for it. we’re all flawed and askew. so, yeah, it just… fit? the ‘d’ here on tumblr it’s only because my surname has a ‘de morais’ in it. i also liked that it resembled ‘alaska’, the john green character i was kinda of obsessed with back in my teenager grunge phase. i don’t like these kinds of books anymore, but i guess some details stay with you. do you think it’s weird? never thought of changing.

thanks for this outstanding ask, it certainly entertained me. and hope you have a nice sleep today, big hugs coming your way! 🤍

[i-am-vita]

Someone Looking for You (pt. 1)

👉 Previously: Someone Who Loves You

Bogard x Ghost Rose Oc (afabReader)

+2,000 words

👉 My Masterlist, Oc Ghost Rose Masterlist, Scruffy Bogard Inspiration, Bogard's Sexy Spy Wife Headcanons

Sorry I haven't been as active as before in the fandom. Got a new job and a flu barely two weeks in, started some character design classes, went to a Dia de Muertos weekend to Michoacan (to foreigners, the place where Pixar went to look at for Coco) and came back with a stomach infection... I swear I've been back a officing for a month and a half and already went to the doctor three times.

But more importantly, I reached 100 followers in October and didn't realized!!!

I noticed I had some new followers here and there but never thought to look up the numbers. Thank you so much, people, for choosing me, even with my inconsistency. Have the first part of Some Who Loves You next chapter as a little treat. I've had it started for a while but unsure of how to proceed. Maybe some peer presure helps.

Moots and interested people I remember: @fanaticsnail @jintaka-hane @cinnbar-bun @gingernut1314 (look how swiftly I play around that new Tumblr rule of not letting you tag more than five people in a row) @writingmysanity @feral-artistry @indydonuts @since-im-already-here

Summary: After your night together weeks ago, Bogard is set to find you and uncover the mystery of your identity. Could you really be the love he thought lost all those years ago? Warnings: Scruffy Bogard. Swearing. Hidden identity. Regular canon violence. Expect: They Have History. Lovers to Strangers to Lovers. Use of You, not Y/N. Change of pov. FemOcReader, fem pronouns. Probably better English, but don't hold your breath. I've been subjected to testing crappy Visual Novels for a month and a half. My time tenses may be worst than ever.

.

His footsteps were hardly the only noise in the lively nightlife of this island.

Cantinas and dance clubs filled the main street with music and laughter. Their patrons too busy to pay attention to the solitary scruffy man in the brown overcoat wandering the night, aiming his time.

Any other time, Bogard would be eager to be back in his room for the night, get rid of these street clothes, shave the scruff off of his face and report back to his superiors after a good night of sleep.

It hadn’t been like any other time since that night.

The night he was ailed by that damn cheap interrogation serum. When you stayed to nurse him and, eventually, helped him bear the side effects with your body. Only to wake up the next day alone with a small note of yours. The calligraphy style too similar to that of the notes from his lost love he still kept. Read and reread so many times over the years he could recognize the lines and letters like the palm of his hand.

Hope flooded his heart.

That dreadful emotion had been crushed years ago when he accepted his one and only love was lost to him forever. Bogard had buried himself in work, focused only in his career at the marine and serving along Garp. His leisure time was occupied in activities to engage in logic rather than indulge his feelings.

If a need arose, he took care of it with promptness and no attachment. And if his eye catched a likeness to the one he had lost… then maybe he could indulge himself after all.

Until he had entered that bar one night and you were there.

The alluring new guard of The Contact.

How had he wished for you to turn around and let him see your face. To be just a regular man getting in a bar, free to revel in the company of a beautiful stranger, instead of an undercover marine agent meeting with one of the most notorious intel dealers in the Grand Line.

By some chance, his wish was granted and his properly ordered life was shattered.

He had gone to a graphologist to analyze the written notes and see if it was possible to be from the same person. The expert told him that, despite the similarities in the calligraphy style, there were details that suggested they still could have been written by different people. The inclination of letters, some twirls here and there.

That specific style was popular years ago among the young women of society. It only proved that both women had similar upbringing and were taught by private tutors during the same period of time.

To the expert it wasn’t much, but to Bogard it was everything. Because to him it couldn’t be a coincidence. Not after that night and how you were with him.

Oh, he had come to question his sanity over the last weeks.

Wondering if he was just so desperate for sincere affection and connection that he was projecting his longing for his lost love in an unsuspecting woman who happened to show him more kindness than he was used to from a one time lover.

Both you and her memory deserved better than that.

He thought he would see you again soon and confirm or deny his suspicions. Bogard didn’t know which he preferred.

The next reunion with The Contact came and he couldn’t find a trace of you after the meeting.

While he and your boss discussed and exchanged intel about the group trafficking with those serums that were after them the last time and how to take them out, his eyes kept returning to your figure standing guard at the bar. Long hair falling down your back, a dark dress encasing your seductive figure, your face turned away from his insisting gaze…

After the meeting, he stood from his seat and looked over for the last time, but you weren’t there anymore.

He didn’t know what he was expecting. For you to leave your spot and run into his arms?

Another meeting came next week.

Bogard arrived some minutes earlier and he could swear he saw a feminine figure slipping away into the darkest shadows of the bar, where he didn’t have a good sight.

You were avoiding him.

Damn it.

That night, Bogard had been reluctant for you to stay to aid him with the side effects of the serum, but you had and offered the comfort of your body. He knew he had lost control at some point, too gone in the aphrodisiac’s effects.

Had he done something to hurt you or offend you after all?

Were you mad at him? Did you regret that night?

What was he supposed to do now? Ask the Phantom Captain for an introduction like he was a suitor looking to court you?

If he had actually known his interlocutor, Bogard may have realized that’s what your boss was half expecting for you two to do since the first moment he caught the longing gazes. Your reluctance to speak of your feelings was getting on everybody's nerves.

Something had to be done about you two before the careful plan the Phantom Captain and Garp had been brewing for months was ruined.

Bogard was so deep in thought walking back to his safe room after that second meeting it took him several minutes to realize he was being followed until his assailants were almost on him.

Just regular thugs with no training or special abilities.

The five men ambushed him, two of them aiming to immobilize him. Bogard had those unconscious on the floor in a few seconds.The other three were tricky, but he had one’s arm in a lock with a hand before the other two could react.

All of a sudden, both assailants fell to the floor, holding their knees and screaming in pain. Sharp blades pierced their joints and then flew back towards a dark alley.

Bogard threw the man he was holding to the floor and ran to the alley finding nothing, but a sweet flowery and fruity fragrance in the air.

Were you following him on your own volition or your boss’ orders?

Did you care for the intel he had to deliver or himself?

He needed to get to you and third was the charm.

Tonight, all his enhanced senses were keen on the presence following him in the street. It took all his will to not turn around to try to find you among the crowd of night goers.

He had to time it just right.

Tonight, you will be in his arms again.

.

You just wanted to make sure he was safe.

Those smugglers were still on the run and some had seen him. Even if they didn’t know Bogard’s real identity, he may have become a target. They may still have some of that interrogation serum. Even after you and your crew managed to track them that night and take down their lair with most of their supply.

You had asked your crewmate Meg, an expert perfumer and chemistry, more about those cheap serums and it had left you livid. If you hadn't been there to… treat Bogard’s ailment, it would have been much worse to him. He could have hurt himself; wander outside, lost in the pain and frenzy, and hurt someone else.

It was a matter of the common good.

Vice Admiral Garp had the means and connections to guide Marine resources to take down those smugglers. Bogard was their main contact with Garp. He needed to be protected.

That was all.

The fact he was the man you had loved and almost married in your youth was minor. You had burned that bridge when you decided to put his well being over yours and ran away from your engagement.

He was about to reject a most excellent promotion to stay with you, not knowing that his promising career was the only reason your family had allowed your relationship. Your brown-noser of a stepfather would lose his opportunity of having a well connected son in law.

You were ready to postpone your engagement with Bogard until he was better established in his career, and you still wanted to go to university. There was no need to rush and lose opportunities when you had the rest of your lives to be together. Until you discovered your stepfather scheming to get rid of your beloved and marry you off to some marine Captain that best suited his ambitions.

Accidents happened and even the most promising young officers could fall in the line of duty and nobody would be the wiser.

At 18 years old, with a mother that would agree it was better for you to just call off your engagement and go with your stepfather’s plan of finding you a better suitor, and no other adult close or well-off enough to ask for help, you couldn’t find a better solution than to run from home.

You broke his heart.

You knew you had to.

You were cruel in your break up, publicly enough so your family were sure you hadn’t run away together when he accepted his commission overseas. You also had to be sure Bogard wouldn’t look for you when he came back and you weren’t there anymore.

The heartbreak had been agonizing, but it had to be done. No matter how misguided your actions were, you wouldn’t tolerate being a puppet of your family and any harm coming to the young man you loved.

No matter the pain, both of you would be fine and thrive on your own.

It had to be enough.

Or it had been until Bogard had walked in that bar and you discovered it was him and Vice Admiral Garp whom your captain had been intel dealing with this whole time.

And now all the operation could be at stage because you couldn’t stop thinking about that night.

Been able to be near him again.

Talk to him, touch him, nurse him. And then more…

You had hidden from his sight every meeting since then. Fearing to be unable to hide your real feelings. To run into his arms and uncover yourself.

But your feelings were not important.

His safety was.

That’s why you had followed him every night after, assisted him when he was attacked, and ensured he arrived safely to his destination before you went back to your crew’s safehouse.

That’s why you were here this night, following him through the night crowd…

Bogard stopped abruptly in his walk, looking intently at some point ahead of him and then walked to an adjacent street.

Well, fuck.

Who had he spotted that had made him change his route like that?

You ran to the crosswalk while surveying the street, but nobody else seemed to be on his chase. The sight of his brown overcoat turning a corner ahead indicated you of his path. Your own black long coat fluttered in the air as you ran to keep up with your pursuit of him.

As you turned the corner you found yourself running right into a tight embrace. Momentum spun you in half a circle while strong arms surrounded your smaller form and brought you against a firm torso. A swift hand halted yours from reaching to your knives’ pouch tied to your thigh.

“Forgive me. I know I deserve it, but I would rather not be stabbed tonight,” Bogard murmured in your ear, sending shivers down your back.

“Rick…” you sigh his name unconsciously, completely taken by surprise.

“You’re very hard to catch.” His grip on you relaxed, but his arm remained around your waist, anchoring you to him and warmth of his body.

His hand raised yours to deposit a soft kiss on your palm.

“To catch… Did you set me up?!”

"I needed to see you."

"You had seen me."

"You know what I mean." A gasp escaped your lips at the intensity of his gaze.

It took you several seconds to realize you weren’t wearing your lace mask and Bogard was able to see your full face. Even with the illusion over your real facial features and skin tone, you felt almost naked under the scrutiny of his eyes.

Oh, no, what had you let yourself fall into?

.

.

.

[sapphic-agent]

I read your analysis and anti bakugou posts and I want to say thank you!

Going to be kinda long so I’m sorry!

There is another fandom where there is character exactly like bakugou; angry, violent, egotistical and target his hate and aggression to one person only.

the character name is Jiāng cheng from the MDZS novel. But the narrative in the story doesn’t treat all the shit that jerk did as right, it the opposite. He seen as vile that nobody want to associate with (getting banned from all the match making places in the story even)

He never takes the spotlight of the two main nor he is redeemed characters instead seen as pathetic and arrogant jerk he is. The MC, Wei wuxian who was his adoptive brother (not really more like a servant that got treated like a dog) cut ties with him in the end.

He a well written and rounded character but the character personality is shit and I don’t really like him. And the narrative isn’t treating him any differently than being a piece of shit

Why I’m telling you this? Because I feel like if MHA have been written by someone who isn’t Hori bakugou would not have gotten away with the shit he did in the story.

beside the point of the way the narrative treat Jiang cheng, it’s the fandom. When I got into the MDZS fandom I was so disappointed to see bakugou stans 2.0 there but instead of bakugou it’s Jiang cheng.

Both bakugou and Jiang cheng get the same treatment in the fandom as “UWU needs to protect the angry violent person” and “it’s the MC fault our cute UWU baby didn’t do anything wrong” and lots of stuff that I bet you seen in the bnha fandom

It’s sad that even if the story shows that what Jiang cheng wasn’t right (unlike bakugou case where the story doesn’t make him have any consequences) people would outright be mean to other people just because they follow the canon prototype of the character in their fics (I seen it and it’s horrible)

And, in fics it’s seems that every time that Jiang cheng appears in the scene he makes everyone OOC (if the fic is sticking to canon personality). Makes them act like they won’t ever act; it’s the same thing with bakugou (in canon and fanon respectively sadly)

I love to call it the “black hole effect” when a certain character just make the scenes about them no matter the context, like a black hole.

Im sorry this is all over the place, im not really good with words and i used to be pretty active in both fandoms but now its really hard because bakugou and Jiang cheng stans are overall tiring to deal with and they seems to grow up in numbers everyday and yeah… 👍

Have a nice day and week!

Hi! I've never read it but it sounds interesting.

I always try to tell Bakugou stans, it's not the fact that Bakugou's an awful person. I don't care about that. Fictional characters aren't real and can be liked for whatever even if they're vile pieces of shit. It's okay to like a vile piece of shit.

What's not okay is creating that vile piece of shit and then brushing over and never calling out their horrible actions. What's not okay is everyone around them condoning their behavior. What's not okay is pandering to them over their victims. What's not okay is never making them face consequences for their actions. What's not okay is constantly putting them on a pedestal for doing the bare minimum.

Look at Vegeta (RIP Toriyama). Vegeta is always getting humbled and called out. He is never going to surpass Goku because never getting what he wants is part of his retribution. Considering his actions, he should be worse than Bakugou. But he's a way better character because of how the narrative and the other characters treat him.

(You can even compare specific instances. When Bakugou rushed ahead and attacked Kurogiri and got Thirteen seriously hurt, no one said a thing to him and he still won all his fights. He faced zero repercussions. When Vegeta let Cell absorb 18, he immediately got his ass kicked and had to get saved by Trunks and Krillin. Vegeta's actions always affect him terribly, Bakugou's actions always affect everyone else terribly while he gets off scott-free)

DBZ came out decades ago and it still created a better character arc than a 2010s-2020s manga. Horikoshi could have easily given Bakugou a proper redemption arc. He chose not to

[nalonzooo]

Hi you’re very kind in always answering people with their art questions i appreciate you so much!! I wanted to ask if u have any books/videos that helped you on your art journey? Love your art so much ur an inspiration 😘😘

hi!! this is so nice of you to say and you’re very welcome 🥰 - books and videos under the cut!

videos

what helped me a lot when i started with art is to watch time lapses or draw-with-me sessions so i can kind of copy how artists draw or paint. however it’s "Level Up your Portrait Drawings" by Chris Hong (ETA: sorry the link doesn't seem to be working, so i've included the title of the class) that was like a turning point in how i drew faces. it’s available via membership on skillshare but i think you can sign up for a month free. i can’t recommend it enough! the quality of my portraits changed after this especially with regards to anchor points—i learned how to tweak my art with this video and i do feel it carried over and improved the way i drew very visibly <3

another video i feel created a huge improvement in my drawing is this class by Lexin Yuan (qrbits). this is a lot more rigorous and thorough than the previous one and also included feedback from the artist (!!) and it’s available via subscription to Class101 but lexin has since made a free version on their youtube which i HIGHLY recommend as well (actually i would recommend their entire channel) - from here i learned how to make characters stand and pose properly, i learned to draw from dance videos, i learned about boxes and anatomy in a very approachable way.

another artist i’m subscribed to and whom i enjoy watching draw is likelihoodart. i love looking at their art bc i feel like they have the perfect blend of semi-realism and stylization - plus their OCs are amazing (the general art rule for teeth is don’t fill them out, but i’ve never seen anyone draw teeth a good as them! i mean look at this work in particular). i picked up some rendering styles and tips from watching their draw-with-me videos.

i’m also currently subscribed to Loish’s patreon where she has very useful and in-depth tutorials and guides. she explains it so well and i also see a lot of the artists in their patreon community sharing their improvements and it's SO cool and encouraging. she has accessible tutorials here you can check out :)

books

comic books/graphic novels - i think i mentioned before but when i first started drawing (again, after living artless as a corporate cog), i was in my marvel (mcu//stucky) phase and one of my fav comics back then was matt fraction’s hawkeye. i liked david aja’s style and i would copy entire panels from the comic in ink into my sketchbook. so i would recommend copying whatever art style comic or manga or graphic novel you like into your sketchbook as personal practice (not for public sharing). re-draw your favorite panels! copying directly from the source also helps you figure out how the artist might have drawn their works.

figure drawing by michael hampton - if i were to recommend just one figure drawing/anatomy book to you, it would be this one - this is also a direct recommendation by lexin yuan and i found this book to be easy to follow and the concepts are understandable. i am at heart more of a gesture drawing artist so his emphasis on line of action and dynamism is something i really appreciated.

ART BOOKS! in particular: spider-verse 1 and 2 art books - everyone knows these and for good reason; ami thompson's character expression sheets alone are worth the price. seeing concept art is always very special--you get to read how a team of creatives come up with ideas and you can learn how to incorporate them into your own art. these two are currently my favorite art books, but i also like the art of tangled (glen keane's sketches are in the inside of the covers and that alone made me want to weep they're so beautiful). and sometimes i go into the japanese section of my local bookstore and see what art books they have - i got this one last year which i really enjoyed, and i got a copy of ryoko kui's doodle book for dungeon meshi and i just love it SO much. their character designs are varied and top-notch and it's just so FUN to go through (if you're interested in this, they'll be releasing an english version soon!)

i also draw a lot of inspiration from artists who make and sell zines of their own art or sketches or sketchbooks - some of them even offer it for free! it seems to be a lost art nowadays because people think zines have to be like big collaborative productions, but it can just be a pdf of your sketches. i literally have a page from one of my fav artist's digital zines printed and taped in front of my desk for constant inspiration, and it's just a sketch of theirs. there's nothing quite like seeing an artist's work in zine format <3

my gawd sorry that was so long BUT i hope these are helpful to you in any way!! <3

[kaurwreck]

hi! i really want to tell you that i love love love your blog. i feel so much joy when i see you've made a long post with your thoughts. i admire the way you engage with things you enjoy! you've genuinely inspired me to get back into reading. i've been struggling with migraines and after some time i started associating reading with suffering. i stumbled upon your blog because of bsd, and i got so fascinated with the way you communicate with the source material that i had a childlike realization: i want to have that too! and i picked up akutagawa, and i'm enjoying myself so much. i'm never not thinking about the post where you said that the trick to being clever is to stop obsessing over being right. life-changing, really. sending you so so so much love! p.s. as a russian-speaker it's a delight reading your thoughts on dostoevsky, especially seeing you use diminutives, for some reason. in russian slang we sometimes say, "ты так чувствуешь!" ("you are really feeling!") meaning "you really get it on an emotional level!" and that's what i think every time i read your thoughts on dostoevsky.

I hesitated to answer this ask because I wanted to covet it and hoard it and keep it tucked away where I could revisit it to my greedy heart's content without anyone noticing, but I'd rather you know that this ask was so delightful to receive and absolutely melted me in the best way, so I'm publishing it even though that means submitting to the mortifying ordeal of creating a tag so that I can more easily return to your kind words, and perhaps other, similar asks and posts that are emotional balms.

Also, I am so sorry, I'm sleep-deprived and I was so excited and charmed and delighted by your ask that I lost my mind and wrote you a veritable novel in response. Thus, I've added a readmore and headings (because WOW, I went on tangents, sorry!)

Returning to Reading

I'm so sorry you have migraines; I don't get them often, but I do occasionally get them, and it's some of the worst, least tolerable pain I've ever experienced. So, whatever it's worth, you have my sympathy and admiration, especially since returning to reading when you experience frequent migraines implicates some common triggers. (Never mind how annoying I know it is when you're in too much pain to read as a distraction either.) But I'm delighted you're reframing your relationship with reading separate from suffering, and that you're enjoying the process! I'm also returning to reading, and while I don't have the same challenges, I am also engaging in a process of relearning and recontextualizing reading for myself, so I'm always here to chat about it.

I'm especially thrilled that you picked up Akutagawa; Akutagawa is the author who also coaxed me back into reading literature (as opposed to comics or webnovels). He might still be my favorite even now that I've read several, several other modern Japanese authors.

Akutagawa Adoration Hours

[I apologize; I hyperfocused and wrote an entire multi-paragraph essay on how much I love Akutagawa below... I promise I come back to your ask!]

Akutagawa's literary voice is just so vivid, sharp, and intentional. He compels you to cling to the weight of each word with rich, clever language that cuts to the hearts of matters frankly, bluntly, and sometimes scathingly. But even when his authorial voice is ostensibly irreverent or lacquered with detachment, he cradles his most foolish characters, bundling them with naked affection for their sincerity, vulnerability, and childish conviction. They embody his unadulterated faith, and he reserves for them in the implication the same salvation he's convinced he's too sullied by shame, terror, and self-consciousness to deserve. Akutagawa does not squander the gravity of your attention, and even in brief vignettes in which humans become lice or have had their personhood severed from them by the untenable yet escalating demands of their responsibilities to others, there's humanity in his horror and absurdity, and closure in his ambiguity. I rarely feel as if there's certainty in Akutagawa's narratives, but neither do I feel as if nothing that occurred mattered.

Even when nothing has objectively changed for the characters, Akutagawa sources meaning from the subjective perceptions of the characters, the impact of which is rarely diminished by the objective or observable. Thus, the bleakness, horror, and absurdity of the characters' circumstances are sometimes interminable, but they shelter Akutagawa's fondness and latent certainty that existential meaning is inherent to humanity because of, rather than despite, our fragility, foolishness, and callous disregard for measurable truth.

His contemporaries criticized him for the detachment and perceived stagnancy lent by his polish and technical brilliance, but I've never read any of his stories and not felt an earnestness that persists entirely apart from the explicit narrative, as if someone is reading over my shoulder and murmuring "isn't she brave?" whenever a character is so simple in their sincerity that they become vulnerable to humiliation and abuse. And that's not detachment; that's Akutagawa relentlessly writing hope, love, and compassion into the creases of his own grotesque fear, and in doing so, filling spaces we perceive as empty in ourselves with the faith and devotion he was so certain he lacked.

You Said Childlike In Passing But Chapter 55 of the Tao Te Ching Rewired My Brain and I Was Lost In the Akutagawa Sauce So...

And it's childlike how, even when characters like O-Gin are debased and humiliated, Akutagawa yearns for their salvation enough to smudge the ink at the edges of his precisely rendered language so the silly, ignorant little fools might transcend the boundaries of the narrative that otherwise ruthlessly scorned and punished them for their guilelessness. His need for innocence is itself indicative of the keen sense of violation that prompts a toddler to indignation when his jejune reliance on fairness is first exploited and then provided as cause for exploitation.

Akutagawa was wise enough to know childlike conclusions are the most profound and self-actualizing insights we can have, but too certain of the inevitability of his suffering and too overly prescribed barbiturates to nurture and cherish his own salvific childishness. So, your realization was brilliant for its childlike wisdom, and I think it's both wonderful and meaningful that you then nurtured that wisdom by pursuing the relationship you wanted with the source material.

Being Right vs. Playful Engagement

I'm also so glad that the post about being clever =/= obsessing over being right was sticky and impactful! It's, quite frankly, immensely less fun and more pressure if you're hinging your enjoyment on whether you're right when engaging with media where "right" is subjective and layered, and where you're engaging with a foreign cultural context. I get the impression that centering your engagement on making and assessing the accuracy of predictions also lends itself to biases, defensiveness, disappointment, misplaced resentment based on unmet expectations, and incuriosity; at least more so than engaging with the story playfully and sincerely.

I'm also just extremely biased towards bsd and Asagiri's approach to storytelling; I think he's engaging in a challenging and layered approach to storytelling that is wholly unique to him. (At least, based on my own experiences with referential multimedia titles.) I'm so charmed by how Asagiri throws himself into creative challenges and engages in meaningful and remarkably substantive conversations with the source materials, his own portfolio of interlocking narratives, and his audience. I would kill to chat with him about his processes.

Everyone I'd Encountered Who Seemed Parasocially Obsessed With Dostoevsky Was Right

Before I get into this next babble tangent, I want you to know that your kind words and perspective as a Russian-speaker regarding my Dostoevsky thoughts mean SO much to me; I'm very proud if I'm able to do an ounce of justice to the text in my ramblings, and I'm so excited to know the appropriate phrase for what I'm experiencing right now because I am REALLY feeling.

I was admittedly a little nervous about reading his works with only minimal background, and I went into Crime and Punishment without first consulting any published critiques and analyses (which I sometimes do for foreign classics to bridge gaps in context). But, I was eager to start the story, so I decided to just get into it with the understanding I might need to pause for further research if I felt I was missing too much context to engage with the text meaningfully. But, wow, I was immediately consumed. I struggled to put it down for most of it, and I've been staying up too late and sneakily reading at work; things I haven't done since I was in middle school.

While I know I'm missing context, even with the attentive footnotes (and I absolutely will read so many academic papers on it once I finish these last fifty pages), I was pleasantly surprised by how not only engaging his writing and this translation are but also by how familiar with and connected I feel to the characters and circumstances and emotions and dynamics. He has rendered the human experience and specific flavors of People into such compassionate, teasing, sincere, frank, and sobering characters who I feel like I've had entire conversations with.

I love classic lit, but Dostoevsky is sincerely rekindling a joy I haven't felt in years while reading. Also, his frankness and compassion regarding alcoholism and parentified children and trauma and ennui and guilt and the contradictions we grapple with within ourselves and with who we are to different people are giving me a framework for reflecting on swaths of my trauma and childhood that I've struggled to articulate my thoughts and emotions around for years.

I'm so energized and excited about reading his other works, but, wow, I'm going to miss these characters so much.

Accounting For My Crimes Against the Russian Language

I have very little background in Russian, but I'm passingly familiar because in high school (i) I was obsessed with Russian history, particularly related to the USSR and swaths of imperial Russia (I actually taught the lesson on Ivan IV Vasilyevich in my Western Civ class because my teacher was pregnant and exhausted and I knew the material better than she did); and (ii) I studied Russian with a private tutor in my senior year of high school (very lightly; once a week, only for a year, I met with her and two French language teachers from my school who were also interested in Russian for hour-long lessons and to receive homework assignments).

So, while my experience with the language is shallow at best, I've always loved Russian diminutives. I'm obsessed with the sheer amount of information relayed in someone's name. It's incredible. Of the languages I'm familiar with, none have a comparably satisfying gradient range of (i) affection and (ii) disrespect.

That said, I use diminutives for characters I'm particularly fond of, to show affection, and to teasingly disrespect them since I think it's quite overfamiliar for me to take such liberties.

Also, while I try to check after myself to ensure I'm using them correctly, I have only a surface-level understanding of what I'm doing, and some language forum threads are more helpful than others, so I'm very, very sorry if I use any incorrectly, and I encourage you (and any other Russian speakers and learners) to yell at me if you notice I'm misusing someone's name.

So far, my approach has been to check general searches, forums, and Reddit when I've encountered diminutives in Crime and Punishment, and I'll continue to look up every single name variation in the Dostoevsky novels I'm reading, no matter how long it may take me to realize what I've been scouring for isn't a diminutive at all but instead probably (emphasis on "probably," because no one providing English explanations seemed wholly certain) the same name but spoken in the form native to a separate Slavic language than the languages anyone else in the conversation was using, not that it really seemed to matter, since the same characters within the same conversation each used multiple forms of the same, with only one remark on what was most likely the correct form, which everyone ignored/disregarded, including the remarking character. So if you have context on THAT dynamic, I would love to hear about the etiquette and conventions around language forms among the many different languages and dialects in Eastern Europe.

For reference, the diminutives I've been using re: Crime and Punishment and bsd, with more context:

Raskolnikov is "Rodya" unless he's naughty, in which case I call him "Rodka." Unless he's REALLY naughty, then he's Raskolnikov.

Avdotya is Dunya always; I do feel egregious because she commands grace and gravitas, and I respect her SO much. But I love her dearly and am very warm towards her and everything she does, so I call her Dunya as if she were my sister because if she were, I would treat her better than Rodka right now.

Razumikhin is Dima which may be wildly incorrect, both in form and historical context; the only reason I haven't confirmed it yet is because I had an OC named Dmitri in high school that I was very fond of and referred to affectionately as Dima, and I'm similarly fond of Razumikhin, so I've delayed confirming and correcting myself here, although that's very Rodka-naughty of me, I know.

Fedya is always bsd!Fyodor, and only when he has really wide eyes and is being adorable bunny Fedya. He is Fyodor when he is being nasty or squinting. I call the author by either his last or full name, although I'm sure I've carelessly called him Fyodor before too. I try to maintain some consistency in distinguishing who I'm referencing between the characters and their namesakes.

Tl;dr: I love Russian diminutives. The only other time I've come close to feeling the same amount of immense delight over names-as-love-and-violence is when my work mentor, who is Chinese, was providing me with her preferred titles (laoban ["old boss," old meaning "venerable" rather than indicating age], jiejie ["big sister"]), and my other coworker chimed in to say, "Wouldn't you be da-jiejie ["first/eldest big sister"], since you're the oldest?" If looks could kill.

[theheirofthesharingan]

why do fans keep saying that itachi loved izumi where do they get that from?? Did I miss something? Because I've read the entire itachi light novel and there was ZERO hint in it about itachi loving izumi back. The ship felt really one sided, I mean yeah sure they could've been cute together but the only thoughts that ever crossed itachi's mind in the novel were about war, the village, sasuke, shisui, his clan. He couldn't care less about romance. Like there was ZERO indication of him having feelings for her, I think him putting her in a genjutsu before she dies is because itachi is a kind person and wanted his freind's last moments to be happy, that was the least he could do for her then. I mean personally if someone who loved me like that was dying I'd want to make sure that their last moments with me are spent 100% however they please. So is it just me?? I see kindness cause I know itachi is not a jerk, and I see care because I know he cares about his loved ones, but where is the romantic love here??? Just because she's female and was in love with him we gotta assume he loved her back?? Some even claim she was his "his girlfreind" ...wtff ??? itachi never had the time.

Anyways, what do you think? And sorry i know this was too long I hope you don't mind.

It's just people whenever there is "love" involved, it has to be romantic/sexual. Every time I see someone making connotations of the romantic love between two individuals, I am reminded of this quote by C. S. Lewis.

Those who cannot conceive of friendship as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a friend.

Two people can "love" each other and still not be interested in each other romantically. It's just, platonic love exists.

In case of Izumi, I believe giving Itachi a "lover" makes his story more tragic to some people. Because, oh look, he killed the girl he loved, so tragic! But he didn't actually love her. Fugaku mistakes her for Itachi's girlfriend, but that doesn't mean he had one. They were friends. Itachi had too many things going on and love was not any of his priorities.

She was the first person he killed because she was someone he cared about and thought as a friend. Not because he thought she was the love of his life.

I also feel most of the shippers don't really care about Itachi as a person. He's only a fantasy they need to either fulfill for themselves or for their favorite characters. It holds true for Izumi, Sakura, and even Sasuke.

The two ladies have no personality, so their ship with Itachi works as a self-insert for a lot of fans. And most itasasu fans are also along the same lines. None of them cares about Itachi, but they still ship him with them because the ships centre around the characters he's shipped with instead of himself. That is, these shippers get the gratification on behalf of the characters he's shipped with instead of Itachi himself.

So, Izumi and her ship with Itachi isn't very different. To some people, it makes his story more tragic. There's also a part of the fandom that thinks "Obito destroyed the world for Rin" when he himself says Rin isn't the reason the war is happening. People kind of like to project what they consider more tragic and then twist it to distort canon.

I personally don't take shippers very seriously. It does irritate me, but it's better to not interact with that side for your own sanity.

[weirdplutoprince]

Y'know I started re reading your Trauma in Solo Leveling post and thought "Wait isn't this very similar to Kim Dokja tho? He goes through horrible stuff and barely has any trauma left" and then realized that 1. Kim Dokja has the Fourth Wall to block a lot of the trauma and 2. Unlike in SL where mc decides to go back every time to dungeons in ORV the characters can't escape the scenarios and that's the whole point of the story, and maybe we don't see trauma repercusions yet (in the manhwa) because they simply don't have time to process it, they're in a never ending trauma experience. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, what are your thoughts regarding how trauma is handled in ORV??

(also I've started reading the ORV novel and I blame your art for it. Thanks xD)

Ok so first of all let me say that since you have not finished the novel I cannot possibly give you a complete answer - at the risk of completely spoiling a lot of key points from the future. So I'll try to respond while keeping it as vague and spoiler free as possible...But, beware ok 😭

What you have to understand is that even if you ignore the Fourth Wall and the effect it has on Kim Dokja, ORV is a story told first and foremost from his point of view. And that is a very, very deliberate choice by the authors with heavy influence on the information we receive. Kim Dokja is an extremely secretive, proud person who hates presenting himself as weak or vulnerable in any possible form. He is very good at acting nonchalant and Cool about it though, so it takes a while to really notice that, but once you do it becomes very obvious that this need colours his narration and how he chooses to present himself veeeery heavily.

So I get where you're coming from, but although similar in the "goes to great lengths to avoid being perceived as weak and likes to be in control" way, Kim Dokja and Jin-Woo handle's handling of their trauma is treated VERY differently by their respective narratives. With Solo Leveling basically encouraging Jin-Woo's tendencies to self isolate and cut himself off from others while the central theme of ORV is about challenging Kim Dokja's beliefs about himself and others.

This is as far as I can go, sorry, send me another ask once you finish the novel i really dont wanna ruin it for you 😭😭 VERY GLAD that you're getting orved though!! Wish you a great time!! I hope you have fun!!!

[overshelter]

REVIEW: The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

WARNING: Contains numerous SPOILERS, so CAUTION!

Okay. What can I say about this baby? I am simply OBSESSED and FOURTEEN for Luo Binghe. He is without a doubt my protégé, my precious, my everything! I would give my soul, my ass, my dog... EVERYTHING FOR HIM AND NEVER SORRY!

You may think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. He's just a baby who needs a lot of love and a few therapy sessions. And, okay, maybe a few Love Yourself lessons with Kim Namjoon... I'm getting off track, but AGAIN...! Obviously, he's not my only favorite thing about this story. I love Shen Qingqiu. Like, SO MUCH! He has an extremely fun, attractive and captivating personality. Even if that personality is represented more internally, and externally, he's just trying to keep a poker face. Yet he's still that protagonist who will make you laugh at REALLY dubious moments – Mountain Maigu, I'm looking at you! – and make you question your own sanity because of it. But that's precisely why you simply can't help wanting to continue. Nor can you forget the fact that SV is very gripping when you realize how deep it goes into the characters' emotions. Especially, for me, when we see one in particular. Luo Binghe has a psychological journey that is the equivalent of a rollercoaster ride. He's broken, he's breaking and then getting back on his feet, only to fall a little further. It was really painful to get to the final chapters and see how clearly destroyed he was. How hurt, lonely and desperate he was. There were moments when I really just wanted to pick him up and smack that dear author. But, well... there wasn't much I could do. At least she didn't trick me and it was a happy ending. Well, I've already talked about the main couple – more about Binghe, but what can I do if I just love him so much? –, now I'm going to bring up another topic that I loved. The fact that SV is a great satire on novels with studly protagonists with a harem, where everything can be summed up and solved with sex. Mo Xiang Tong Xiu hit all the right notes here, bringing situations where it was possible to feel the criticism with an almost cruel veracity. The Maigu Mountain scene was undoubtedly the highlight of this satire. Because in it we have a Binghe completely fucked up emotionally and psychologically, without any conscience, with a fucked-up sword controlling him and a Shen Qingqiu who thinks that the whole situation can be solved with sex. Just because that's "common sense" in this kind of novel. And what really resolved everything in the end was the dialog. Something very simple, right? Simple, but difficult to execute. Even more so when you've had an eternity of misunderstandings between you and the other person. And that's precisely the situation BingQiu finds himself in almost from the start of the novel. And, of course, with a little extra help from the system that seemed obsessed with making everything worse. Honestly? I'm shocked at how smoothly and well things turned out. It could have been worse, believe me. Well, apart from that, another thing that stuck with me was the writing. God, I could drown in this shit and I'd still be begging for more! MXTX has a writing style that is really extremely captivating and that doesn't let you go once it's got you! Even more so thanks to the fact that you can REALLY feel the development and growth of the relationships between the characters. Both with the main characters and the secondary ones. Some may not get much attention, but you'll definitely still feel captivated by them at some point. The comedy here is also pure gold! I remember losing my breath and choking up several times while reading... So, to sum up... Read it. READ SV AND JOIN ME IN THE CIRCLE OF PROTECTION FOR LUO BINGHE!!!

[hamliet]

Anon who talked about book 7 of TGCF here! I unfortunately will only have book 8 available this February :') once I get my hands on it I will review it here like I did for the last books if you don't mind! Meanwhile, I still have a lot of thoughts on TGCF, and I hope I don't bother you with how long this ask is 😅

I've seen an interpretation online of the bamboo-hat scene in book 6 in which it says that XL would've never ended up as White No-Face's successor even if the bamboo hat guy didn't appear, because it isn't in XL's nature to do something so destructive and evil. Is it bad that I think think this interpretation diminishes the impact the bamboo-hat scene has for me? Because to me what made that scene so great was the fact that kindness was indeed able to change someone at their worst and by consequence bring out their best self. Hell, what makes the conflict between JW and XL so interesting to me is because XL could've indeed become like him had he not received kindness in his darkest moments, and by consequence JW could've been like XL under the right circumstances. "XL is just naturally gooder™ than JW" is not exactly an interpretation I like, and I think it may even contradict the message of other character arcs in the story as well. HC was saved by the kindness he received from XL, and thus became devoted to him. When HX chose his revenge over his friendship with SQX, it didn't satisfy him, and it even made him more miserable, as he lost his only friend in the process. Guzi, by loving QR unconditionally and genuinely as his son, ended up bringing up to the surface a side of QR that perhaps not even QR knew he had, and it moved his heart enough that he ended up sacrificing himself to save Guzi in turn. QYZ became attached to YY because he showed him compassion when everyone else dismissed him and thought of him as nothing more than a brute. I could go on and on. In other MXTX's books there's also a big emphasis on the impact kindness and genuine connection can have on people. WWX could've easily become a XY or a JGY had he been raised in different circumstances. Hell, the constrast between Bingmei and Bingge hinges on the fact that Bingmei was shown kindness while Bingge wasn't, and the difference between them is of day and night.

Usually they mention the quote "What matters is 'you' and not the state of you.", and that part where HC knew XL wasn't the one who did the guilded banquet Massacre, but I didn't exactly interpret these quotes to mean that XL is naturally good™ in a way that he's able to do no big evil, but rather that he's naturally good in a sense that evil isn't something natural to him, even if he participates in it, which is a theme that can also be seen in characters like JW, HX and QR, who became who they are due to the circumstances in their life shaping them into who they became. It's even highlighted that QR used to be a shy and sweet kid until his environment raised him into a monster. Evil isn't natural but rather something slowly molded by circumstances is how I interpreted it. And as for the Guilded Massacre, it's more that HC saw XL rejecting cursing Yong'an after the bamboo-hat scene and thus rejecting White No-Face's philosophy precisely because it was proven wrong in his eyes, and therefore it would make no sense for XL to be responsible for the guilded banquet massacre later on.

Of course I could be completely wrong in my interpretation, but this is what I picked up while reading the novel. Maybe it's my bias against the immobility of the self? Once again I'm sorry for the wall of text, it's just that I have a lot of thoughts about the way MXTX's books handle the impact that kindness and connection have on the self. I also really like your theories and interpretations not only on MXTX's novels, but for other works as well (I'll only be able to read the ones on JW next month in order to avoid spoilers unfortunately)!

No, I completely agree with you. Actually, I'd go so far as to say that's misreading the story, and the ending--without spoilers--makes this textually explicit. Like, it literally says, not symbolically but directly, that the point is that Xie Lian could have become just like Jun Wu.

So, they're not just misinterpreting, they're misreading. I'm guessing theses are the same kinds of people who think MDZS's message is WWX=good JGY=bad, honestly, when again that means that you're missing the point of the story. (Good point about Luo Binghe, as well!)

To return to TGCF, Hua Cheng's "what matters is you and not the state of you" has nothing at all to do with Xie Lian being a "good" person. In fact, Hua Cheng is pretty explicitly amoral. He's loyal to Xie Lian because Xie Lian was kind to him and he fell in love with him. It does not matter to him whether Xie Lian does good or does bad; that's the point of Wu Ming. It only matters to him that he is Xie Lian, and Xie Lian told him he mattered and did not deserve to be treated as he was being treated.

Of course, one could counter that love itself is a moral virtue, so thereby it saves Hua Cheng and the whole world, but that's for another time haha.

And, of course, please do continue to share your thoughts!!

[transsexualraskolnikov]

I saw your crime and punishment fic, I have an essay on the book, can you help me understand the relationship between Raskolnikov and Razumihin?

quite honestly i consider this one of the biggest honors...... the fact that you consider my writing good enough to hear my opinion on the canon characters just makes me go insane.

okay so let's get to it! i'm gonna go on a brain-vomit here so sorry in advance if it's all over the place and doesn't make sense, i'll try to keep it as concise and logical as possible. also this is all just my opinion and interpretation of their relationship so it's completely okay if you don't agree with me!

i think it's clear to anyone who has read the book that raskolnikov and razumikhin's relationship stands and falls completely on razumikhin's will to stay by rodya's side. his deep-rooted belief in the inherent good of people (and therefore of raskolnikov) is what perpetually keeps him in the story. there's this certain air of all-consuming hopefulness and refusal to give up following razumikhin all throughout the book that cements him as a stand-out among the calculated, always-looking-for-the-worst-in-others characters of the novel (such as raskolnikov, porfiriy, svidrigailov as so on). he stays despite rodion's repeated attempts at pushing him away, despite outright TELLING him to go away simply because raskolnikov doesn't find himself worthy of such tenderness and patience from another person - herein lies their core difference in my opinion. where rodya believes a person must DESERVE their place in the world, there dmitri accepts it as it is - we are here because we are and that's it. this is further proven in the way rodya tries to constantly find a reason behind his existence and in the way he begs his mother's forgiveness in a scene that, at first glance, eludes to the murder, but i believe it goes deeper. i believe he seeks her forgiveness for his very existence.

i think their relationship shines the clearest in two specific moments - first, when dmitri takes care of rodya when the latter's bed-ridden and second, when dmitri stands for rodya's innocence regardless of proof for or against him. and, well, as much as i would like to interpret their relationship as purely platonic - and i think you could, because you can always use the argument of them loving each other as brothers - i can't help but feel much more beyond that. there is a certain tenderness to their scenes, this head-strong determination in razumikhin's refusal to give up on raskolnikov even once rodya confesses to the murder, the way he's just always there, the way he leaves the party for him, the way he gets him a doctor, that's just absent in any other character. it's as if razumikhin lacked this critical thinking of rodya, something that dunya for instance is way too capable of. both love him deeply but dunya is able to see his flaws - mitya doesn't seem to. (and if he does, he tries not to). whether romantic or platonic, it's an infatuation. many analyses of the book describe their respective characters as "foils" to each other but i've never been strong on that. i mean, i can see where they are coming from, but i don't think razumikhin is raskolnikov's opposite. he is his admirer, in my eyes, the same way raskolnikov is his. in a way i think they want to be each other as much as they idolize each other. they are both untouchable in the other's eyes. (that's also what i've tried to convey in that fic of mine - rodya believing he's not good enough for dmitri, and dmitri feeling like rodya is miles out of his league - it all comes down to the nearly-otherworldly adoration of one another)

i have so much more to say but i already feel like i've written too much. if you or anybody else would be interested in hearing more on this topic, i could put it in a google doc and share it because i don't want to spam anyone's dash lol. just let me know!

hope this has helped in some way and that my answer wasn't too late (i tried to reply as soon as possible while also making sure i've said it the best). good luck with your essay, let me know how it went and what grade you got!! also thank you so much for the ask, this was so much fun to write and you wanting to hear my opinion has made me insanely happy!!!

[suddencolds]

3, 12, 13!! for asks

Thank you for the ask!!!! ❤️ These are really good questions, I'm excited 🥹

going to answer #3 last and under the cut because... my answer to it is 📜📜📜📜📜

12. a trope you’re really into right now

from a recent wip: a sick character feeling self conscious about their illness + wanting to hug the other character for comfort, but feeling a little too embarrassed to get too close... their love interest figuring this out and offering up that physical affection with utterly no reservation or hesitance :) ❤️

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

I've enjoyed a lot of media as of late, but nothing has really caught my eye recently in the snz sense. I think it's been awhile since I've been properly into fandom? T.T that said, if anyone writes for Fr//ier//en or Om//nisci//ent Read//er's V//iewpo//int, I'll definitely read it🧎‍♀️

also! There's a book I'm reading currently where one of the characters is... 😵‍💫😵‍💫 (I need him to catch a cold expeditiously). But I'm only like 90 pages in... 360 left to see if he does something irredeemable that turns me off from him 🫡

3. how you feel about your current WIP

ohh my gosh... I'm going to talk about yvverse bc that's perhaps the most on topic for this blog 😭 (I am putting all of this under the cut; please do not feel pressured to read it)

to be honest, I've strongly considered never posting another installment for the series (even though I know—and have known for awhile now—how I want it to end). it's not out of any dislike for the series... actually, I feel like I've gotten (almost) everything I've wanted out of it? the last installment (AO pt2) is something that took a lot out of me... I can say now that writing it felt uniquely like I was putting my heart on the line. in short: 1) I am content with what I have; 2) I'm maybe disproportionately scared of ruining something I'm proud of; 3) writing this series has become quite lonely.

ultimately, I've asked myself many times: in choosing to end the series here, would I be claiming a personal victory, or would I just be prematurely giving up on something I still care deeply about? it's something I've gone back and forth on, that I feel uncertain about still.

when I posted FMT pt1 way back in January 2023, I didn't have any expectations for the series at all. but I think for a year and a half it became the thing I cared about most—it was my first proper attempt at a novel. it was also one of the first times I felt like other people cared about something that felt so deeply personal to me. I think when other people told me they liked it I felt like, I don't know. I felt really really happy, in a way I don't even know if I can properly articulate, and in a way that felt so wholly irreplaceable. I don't think I've felt like that since.

WIP-wise: I have written quite a lot that I don't know if I'll ever post: some of it directly after AO chronologically, some of it much later on. there's a small scene that I wrote that I might post on its own at some point, as a somewhat-detached mini-oneshot? I don't think I will ever post the series ending, but who knows? maybe something down the road will make me change my mind. :') (I am so sorry for using your ask as a jumping off point to unload these thoughts omg... I was thinking of never saying anything, of just silently letting the series sit unfinished. though, I'm not sure if this information is interesting to anyone 😭)

[ Fic Writer Asks ]