#// this will expand as I make more but I hope this helps

[trans-androgyne]

I continue to consider myself a vocal feminist. But first and foremost, I am an anti-sexist.

I believe feminism should be about dismantling the patriarchy. To do so, obviously we need to fight for women’s rights and acknowledge their severe oppression and disadvantages under this system. But self-proclaimed feminists have been constantly telling me that feminism is exclusively about women. I keep begging people to consider the various ways sexism impacts folks of other genders, including cis men and all trans people. Time and time again, they refuse.

I am tired of being excluded from mainstream feminism even by those who say they’re trying to be inclusive. I just read an article by the HRC about how to make your feminism trans-inclusive, and it was all about how trans women alone should be included and centered. The only mention of people of other marginalized genders was at the end, mentioned along with men as groups feminism indirectly helps. I read several more about the term “inclusive feminism” that were still all about including all women rather than just cis white women. This is not enough.

As a transmasculine non-binary person I am a direct target of sexism. I may not identify as a woman anymore, but I am frequently still treated like one. I still get sexually harassed, I’m still at higher risk for sexual assault and being underpaid than even cis women. We need a movement willing to work not solely for women, and certainly not against men, but against sexism in all its forms. Whether it’s by expanding the mainstream view of feminism or forming a new movement, I hope for one to develop and will do my part to see that happen.

[sokkastyles]

OP, I appreciate you're being polite and you like the character, but Mai is a villain, and she did do the villainous things that @the-badger-mole listed. They didn't say she was a supervillain, but I do think it's valid to criticize the way she dismisses Zuko's feelings in "The Awakening." We know why this happens, because as we've discussed, Mai is uncomfortable with Zuko's emotional expression, but that's an explanation, not an excuse. What she says is pretty awful, and given the context that actually makes it worse. It's not just that Zuko has a more emotional personality, either, because what Zuko says in this moment is actually extremely understated. He dances around how he feels precisely BECAUSE he doesn't expect anyone to care. It's actually really frustrating to see Mai stans admit that Mai makes a cruel remark because of her own emotional dysfunction, but then backtrack and say she shouldn't be expected to be Zuko's therapist, because it's also clear from their interaction that Zuko doesn't feel safe disclosing his real feelings to her. Because he's an abuse victim who is used to having his feelings shut down, especially in relation to talking about his abuse. But even the vaguest admission that he's not okay is too much for Mai, and that's not just because of her personality, either. It's because she doesn't want to admit that if Zuko wasn't going home to his abuser, she wouldn't get to kiss him. What she says is incredibly cruel in that context. Her getting together with Zuko as a manipulation tactic by Azula is expanded on in the comic "Going Home Again." But even if you don't consider the comics canon, she did agree to help Azula capture him. Azula also did manipulate him under the catacombs to get him to side with her, and although that isn't Mai's fault, it is her fault that she agreed to help Azula capture him, and that is also a context that contributes to her being unwilling to acknowledge his feelings upon going back to face a man who has physically hurt him and permanently scarred him. I think part of her unwillingness to acknowledge Zuko's feelings is that she cares about him, and if she really thought about it, she'd realize what a dangerous position she helped put him in. But part of it is also that she benefits from it. That's actually pretty awful. It doesn't make her a supervillain, but nobody said it did. It does make her a villain, though.

If you go back and rewatch the scene where Zuko requests a fruit tart for Mai, you will see that his language is very polite, almost hesitant. This follows from the previous scene where Zuko is shown being hesitant to accept things from servants and very uncomfortable, probably from his own time living in poverty. Mai, of course, does not have that context, but as you said, there are other scenes where we can interpret that Mai DOES enjoy treating people cruelly, so it's not a far cry to say she enjoys ordering servants around, and suggested it to Zuko because it is something she enjoys. Zuko asking politely for a fruit tart is a pretty far cry from ordering (Mai's word) servants around for fun and suggesting that she could eat a whole tray of fruit tarts. She takes something Zuko did because he wanted to make her happy and brings it to a hedonistic extreme that Zuko never intended, because she does not understand Zuko AND because she at most enjoys treating people cruelly or at least does not see servants as real people. This is a reasonable thing to conclude from the context of the show. It also mirrors things Zuko's abusers do to him, like when Ozai takes Zuko's words about the Earth Kingdom people having hope and interprets them as Zuko suggesting that they should destroy their hope. Of course I'm not saying that Mai is the same as Ozai, but a lot of the ways she treats him would at least be triggering for someone who was abused in the way Zuko was. In my most generous interpretations of Mai, I think she does this accidentally, but in my least generous interpretations, I think she does it on purpose to avoid having to face his uncomfortable emotions, or because she realizes she can get what she wants out of him that way.

i actually can't process why people don't like mai. is it because of the "i just asked if you were cold" scene. is that it. okay LISTEN i will go to bat for her. she says it herself in the beach episode, she's been raised to not share her opinion or like. care about anything. she probably deflects in that moment because it's obviously an emotionally heavy conversation and she's been told her entire life not to share her feelings. or share other people's feelings, tbh.

she's ngl pretty incompatible as a match for zuko, who is constantly full of feelings, and needs someone who can help him work through them in his life, like iroh or katara. but that does not make mai the stone cold bitch y'all haters want her to be. i promise she's fluffy on the inside, the stone cold bitch is but a thin outer shell that protects all the love and care she contains within herself

[lambilegs]

ruts 101: a lesson by lee harker

contains: 12.4K words, LOTSSSS of nsfw content (so minors dni!!), lee going into a rut, I found out that apparently alphas can grow a penis during ruts so I did that for lee KSJAKS, extreme breeding kink (+ mentions of the following: pregnancy, reader carrying “pups,” reader’s chest and stomach getting heavier), no knotting but lee does have a knot, reader is ovulating, slightly dubious consent at times (ex. lee continuing to be sexual w/ reader despite their protests that they need to go to work), description of bodily fluids, throat-grabbing, spitting (on genitals and in mouth), degradation (reader is called a “slut”), reader’s tit gets slapped once, reader’s body is referred to with the terms “tits,” “breasts,” “pussy,” “cunt,” and “clit,” reader wears lace panties, daddy kink

the last thing you had expected when getting home from work today, and arriving at your girlfriend’s home, was to be seated down and have her pull up a whiteboard explaining her upcoming rut.

you don’t know whether to be amused, terrified or simply befuddled. “lee, babe, I think it’s okay. it’s still two weeks away – two weeks, right?”

she crosses her arms, and you try to not ogle the way her veins and slight muscles bulge from the movement. “I know. I meant to do this a month ago.”

you snort. of course she did. “why? it’s not a big deal, we always knew you’d eventually reach this point.”

“yes, but it’s our first time reaching this point,” she sighs, glancing at the whiteboard. 

your stomach flutters at the word first, hope igniting in you that maybe this means she’d like it to be the first of many. you swallow, trying to remain focused on her task at hand. “and? you’re always horny, anyways.”

you take great satisfaction at the pink tinge that blooms on her cheeks. “that’s not the point. when I enter my… rut,” she continues, voice lowering at the word, “I get… a lot more in that mood than usual. and at a more intense rate too. and it’s not just arousal – I also get more…” she trails off, fingers thrumming against her thigh – her nervous tic. “affectionate, and, well, desirous for time together. and you.” after a pause, she rushes to add, “not that I’m not already. but, usually, I can manage. in my ruts, I can’t.”

fondness blasts through your chest at her nervous ramblings, and you giggle. “I know, baby.” you lean back on the couch. “okay, explain it to me.”

she nods, pointing to the word tucked into the left corner of the whiteboard. “first, ‘timing.’ it happens every six months, and lasts around four or five days. I’ve, um, already requested time off work.”

your eyes widen. “jesus, that bad? you can’t even go into work?”

she gives you a sidelong glance. “I could if I take supplements. but, I took those last time, since I had been put on an important case. but, it’s not good to do that long term. it could make future ruts even worse, or prevent my ability to… impregnate.” despite her clear humiliation, you can’t help but admire how upfront she is about the entire thing.

you cock your head at her. “but, you don’t even know if you want kids.”

her mouth twitches in thought. “I know. but, I still want the option, in case I ever decide to. especially since…” her eyes flick to you, and you shift as they linger on your face. “you know.”

your mouth curves into a teasing grin. “no, no, I don’t, please expand.”

she ignores you, of course. “next, ‘nesting.’ a few days before I go into it, I’ll probably be trying to make things more comfortable. with pillows and such.”

“why?” 

“just to be comfortable. not a lot of… my kind do it. but, I like to do it around the time of my ruts.”

“so, we can cuddle there?”

she hesitates. “amongst other things.”

you bite your lip at the implication.

“which leads me to my next point,” she quietly says. “you.” 

your eyes scan her warily. “okay…” 

“you, um…” her eyes are downcast, and her nostrils flare at the deep breath she takes. “you don’t have to stay, if you don’t want to. I understand this period is a lot, and if you’d prefer to keep your distance, that’s okay. I’ve managed on my own before.”

you pout. “yeah, by hooking up with other people, I’m guessing?” the mention of it leaves a stab of jealousy piercing your stomach, the idea of her being like that with anyone but you making you itch with searing annoyance.

she glances at you. “yes, but of course I wouldn’t do that now. I’ve also managed fine completely by myself before. so, I’d just do that.”

you hum, satisfied with her answer. you’re glad she’s giving you the choice, but part of you, one stirring with both curiosity and arousal, wants to see lee in this state. one of primal, raw instinct and need, one where all her restraints and barriers are cut loose, one where all she wants is to be with you, close to you, inside of you. you swallow hard. “but, what if I want to stay? what would you want of me, then?”

she gulps. “can I speak bluntly?”

“um, yes?”

she turns to you, her eyes forcing their way from the ground to your face. “I’d probably want to have sex. a lot. and I’d be really, um, clingy and attached. ideally, if you could, it’d help if you took a few days off from work, too, though I know that’s a lot to ask for. and, well, I’d ask you to…” she picks at a stray thread of her grey slacks. “well, prepare.”

her string of requests already have you squirming, the idea of locking up with lee and having her fuck you for hours on end far from a lot to ask for. but, her last demand makes you raise an inquisitive brow. “prepare?” 

her dark eyes flick to your crotch, and you feel your face warm at the look. oh.  

“like, because of how much we’d be doing it?”

“that, and…” she raises a shaky hand to a word on the board that reads Parts. “I, um, get a penis during this time.”

your body starts at her brutally honest phrasing, as well as the shocking sentiment contained in it. “what do you mean you get a penis?”

she shrugs. “just as I said it. is that not… common knowledge?”

you scoff. “no! I don’t exactly watch a lot of werewolf-roleplay porn, lee.”

“maybe you should. that might also help. if you decide to stay.”

you roll your eyes, confusion, excitement and shock still zapping through you and making your body feel lit up. “but – but, how? how do you just grow a penis?”

“I usually wake up on the first day of my ruts with it.”

“and well, does it feel different for you?”

“yeah. but, I eventually get used to it.” she’s quick and efficient with your questions, as per usual.

“and how does it look like?” you drawl out, your cheeks aching with the grin spreading on your face. you and lee have used the strap all too many times, and obviously, you’re not ignorant to the breeding kink she has to match yours. so, the idea of her growing a penis, one that can actually… release inside of you, has your pussy tightening on nothing, practically aching for it to spread you open. 

the question makes lee pause, and you immediately know she’s getting shy on you. “it’s… I don’t know.”

“oh, c’mon,” you teasingly say. “how many inches?”

she huffs out a sharp breath. “I’m not answering that.”

“fine, I suppose I’ll just see it for myself.”

her eyes dart to you. “wait – so, you’ll stay?”

you lift yourself from the couch, internally delighting in the way her eyes imperceptibly widen and rove over you. your answer was always a yes, it was only a matter of waiting before you declared it so. 

you stop in front of her, wrapping your arms around her neck. almost instinctively, her hands press into your back, gently pulling you closer. you press a soft kiss to her chin. “of course I’ll stay.”

finally, past the stiff rundown, and the ignoring of your teasing, she smiles, her laugh lines sinking in. “good.” 

—

lee was not exaggerating about the nesting thing. a week after her cute little presentation, she’s using chairs from her kitchen to build a little blanket fort in the corner of her bedroom, splayed with soft pillows and plush throw blankets.

you watch from the threshold of her bedroom, endlessly amused. “hey, need help there?”

she gives you a pointed look. “yes, actually I do.”

you walk over to her, sipping on your soda. she stands up slowly, rubbing her palms along her sides, eyes flicking between you and her bedroom. “tomorrow, can you, um… bring things of yours to put in here?”

“what do you mean?”

“things like clothes, or stuff you sleep with.” her eyes lock in your shoulder. “things that smell like you.”

you blink hard in surprise, the request unexpected. “why?” 

“it, um… comforts me around this time. I get sort of attached to your scent.”

you soften at her words, despite the implications probably carrying some sexual notions to it too. but, still, lee being so clingy to you, your scent, and her awkward admission of it – it makes you burst in affection. 

you set your drink down, nuzzling your nose against hers, the touch causing a hum in the back of her throat. “okay, I’ll bring them tomorrow. you want some underwear or something too?”

at your taunting words, she rolls her eyes. “the things I mentioned will suffice.” 

“mm, okay,” you mumble, pressing a sweet kiss to her lips, which move gently against yours, her strong arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you flush to her. you moan at the feeling of her chest pressed against you, her nipples poking out of her shirt in the chilled weather. your hands snake up, palming her through the fabric, a touch that has her groaning. you’d smile if your lips weren’t so eager to suck around the tongue that pushes into your mouth, fingers beginning to gently roll her nipples. you know she’s sensitive, so you keep your touches light and soft, but it’s enough to have her grunting, fingers digging hard into your ass. 

you gasp at the rough touch, and she parts from you, her lips beginning to land hot, open-mouth kisses to the length of your neck, pausing to suck hard on a spot beneath your ear. you whine at the aggressive ministrations, hips bucking embarrassingly hard. 

she squeezes your ass tighter. “you’d think out of the two of us, it’s you who’s about to enter a rut.”

“shut up,” you whisper, breath hitching as her teeth sink into your neck. 

“one day, I’m gonna mark you as mine,” she whispers hotly against your neck, kissing the marks of her teeth. 

“oh, yeah?” you laugh breathlessly, winding your fingers through her ponytail.

“yeah.” her lips latch onto a patch of skin, and she starts sucking brutally into it. “you’re mine.”

you keen at the suction, skin stinging from it. “l-lee…”

she sucks in a harsh breath at the noise, fingers clasping onto your hips and drawing you in closer. she lodges her leg between your thighs, rubbing it against you. the friction is barely there due to the layers of fabric, but still, it’s something. and that’s enough to get you biting your lip. 

“I can’t wait to fuck you,” she quietly whispers, kissing the lobe of your ear. 

her words egg you on, and you want nothing more than to get her as needy as you are. which is what motivates you to mutter, “yeah, you’re excited to put that big cock in me?”

“jesus,” she hisses, nipping at your ear. “stop that.”

you giggle, the noise melting into a moan when she strokes her tongue along the same spot. “what? does it get you turned on to think of stretching me out?” you breathe heavily, hesitating before shyly saying, “to think of me giving me your–”

her hands tighten around your skin and you gasp when you’re unceremoniously tossed onto the bed. you prop yourself onto your elbows, chest heaving, waiting for more.

but, all lee does is wipe her hands along her clothed thighs and shakes her head at you. “not now.” despite the firm words, her breaths are shaky, and you know she’s just as needy as you. “you–you need to save your energy.”

“how considerate,” you say with a simper, sitting up. your abdomen is aching with unfulfilled longing, but part of you also wants to wait until she’s in her rut. you can’t imagine how good it’ll feel for her, how needy she’ll be, after days of no sex.

she smiles faintly, reaching down to cup your face. “I do still have some sense of humanity retained, you know.”

you giggle at her quip. “awe, really? I was hoping to see you in all your mighty wolf form.” 

she rolls her eyes, walking away and opening her closet to retrieve the spare blankets folded on the top shelf. “I don’t shapeshift just because I’m in a rut.”

“oh, really?” you’ve seen lee shapeshift before, particularly in moments where she got intensely angry, which is rare and far inbetween. she gets hair all over her body, that of which also grows broader. her fangs dart out, her ears become soft and plush peaks. she still looks mostly human, but just slightly altered. it’s deeply humiliating to admit, but part of you, a very hidden part of you, had wandering thoughts about her fucking you in that state.

“yeah.” she flaps one blanket open, spreading it in her little fort. you smile at the sight, adoring how much of a busybody she’s being. the smile, however, slowly fades when she turns to you, dark eyes trained carefully onto your face. “why? did you… want to have sex with me like that?” hesitation laces her words.

“um…” 

her mouth twitches, eyes sparkling. “I didn’t know you wanted that.”

you bristle. “I never said I did.”

“you don’t need to.”

you can’t tell whether you love or hate how well she can read you. you love it, most of the time – after all, you had wanted her for so long, first from afar, and then as her friend. so, to know she can sense your thoughts so accurately without you even vocalizing them is like a surreal dream come to life. however, in moments like this, when you want to retain some of your dignity, it’s a pain in the ass.

you kiss your teeth. “I suppose I don’t if you only rely on your delusions.”

“sure, babe,” she mutters, crossing her arms and observing the blanket fort. her head tilts up to you with a small, prideful smile. “other than your stuff, I think it’s done.” 

you roll off the bed and join her. you can’t lie, it does look really cozy – plush blankets and comforters covering the ground, creating a barrier to the hard wooden floor. pillows are propped along the wall, a wide variety of them joined together. above all of this is a sheet, which is hanging off two chairs on either side of the fort. 

you chuckle, kissing her cheek. “let the rut season begin.”

she snorts. “please don’t say that ever again.”

–

so, as it turns out, your boss isn’t able to give you the full five days off. a fact which lee acknowledges with a furrowed brow, a frown pinching her lips. but, she handles it maturely, voicing her understanding. you, on the other hand? you’re practically cursing your boss inside your head at every waking moment for screwing up your plans to get fucked and fucked by your girlfriend for an entire week.

the night before her rut starts, lee clings onto you, her face buried into your neck, pressing small kisses there and twining her legs around yours. she’s impossibly attached to you, one arm laying next to your head and stroking your hair while the other is wrapped around your stomach.

at one point in the night, she wakes up due to the discomfort she’s starting to feel over the shift of her body. she nudges you awake, whining that it aches. you’re not sure what else to do other than hold her and whisper soothing words into her hair. your palm rubs along her back. you stay awake until she drifts to sleep, her drool pooling onto your chest. 

when you wake in the morning, you have to carefully unpeel lee from you in order to shower before heading into work. as you retrieve your clothes from your duffle bag and make your way to the bathroom, your eyes glance to lee to check in on her. what you see makes your breaths still.

her basketball shorts are tightly strained over an extremely evident boner.

your eyes nearly flutter completely shut. fuck. so, she really did get a dick. and she’s already hard. if you fold in your lips, and strain your ears, you can hear small whimpers coming from her. she sounds so needy.

you force yourself to ignore the sweet noises, showering, getting dressed, then leaving. all the while, lee is still fast asleep due to the hours spent awake the night before. she had insisted on setting her alarm to see you off, but with a few forehead kisses and head pats, she melted into submission and allowed you to turn it off.

you’re not even an hour into work when you get a call from lee. “babe? you okay?”

a soft moan is your first response, and you shift around, eyes darting to ensure no one is close enough to hear her voice echoing from the receiver. 

“babe?” 

“baby, ugh,” she grunts, her voice deeper than usual to her low noises. you can hear the ruffle of sheets and clothing, and different mental images of her flash past your eyes.

you swallow hard when another whimper slips past her lips. “are you in pain, baby?”

“yes,” she nearly whines, her voice hanging onto a higher pitch. “it hurts. I need you.”

your voice quiets down. there’s no one near you, but the sexual nature of the call makes you more alert. still, you don’t have it in yourself to leave her words ignored. “I know, baby, I wish I could be there.”

“can you… can you come home early?”

it’s not a request she makes often of you. lee loves her job, and her work ethic can only be described as impeccable. because of that, and her natural tendency to just care, she’s always a steady stream of support when it comes to your job. the times she has posed a question about your schedule have been far and in between, and when she does it, it means she really needs you, or misses you terribly. 

but, it’s not one you can fulfill today. you already have a work dinner that you promised to attend, and with all the people counting on you, it just doesn’t seem possible to cancel so last minute. “baby, I’m so sorry. but, I don’t think I can. I have that work dinner, remember? and a lot of stuff to get done. plus, with the days off I took, my boss won’t like me leaving early.” you soften your tone, hoping the delivery of the news doesn’t pain her too much.

she simply whimpers again, the sound so tender and broken that you nearly debate quitting your damn job. “okay.” 

“baby,” you drawl, your eyebrows scrunched in deep concern. “I’m sorry, baby. what’s happening, though? are you in pain?”

she groans, her words low with what you suspect is embarrassment. “I’m so horny. it hurts how much I need it.”

you gulp, nearly shivering at knowing the prospect of sex with you is partially what’s making her so needy. yeah, duh, her rut mostly has to do with it, but still, she wants to spend it with you. “honey, why don’t you…” your voice lowers. “... get off?”

“I did. it’s–it’s not enough, I need you. I need your scent, I need to… come in you.” the last words are whispered, and you can sense her discomfort in being so blunt.

“lee,” you breathe out shakily. “I know, sweet girl. you will, okay?”

“I will? I was just gonna wear, you know… protecti–”

“don’t,” you immediately cut in. “I’m on birth control, babe, it’ll be okay.”

she lets out a soft sigh. “but,” she protests weakly, still somehow managing her self-restraint, “it’s still not guaranteed.”

“we’ll deal with that, then, baby. but, I really want you to.” your eyes flutter at the words. you can already picture how she’d pin your body down, coming and coming in you until your hole is spilling with warm come, and the image alone makes you tense up.

“you’re sure?”

“very sure.”

–

when you return home, you’re greeted with the sight of lee curled up on the couch, wearing your t-shirt, fingers rolled into the material and watching some crime show. when you make your way through the alcove, she says without even looking at you, “hi, babe.”

“how’d you know…?”

“I could smell you since you pulled up in the driveway.”

you snort. “of course you did.”

she glances at you with a small simper. “comes with the territory, I suppose.”

“‘territory’? oh, you really have been impacted by this rut.”

her smile broadens, lovely little laugh lines dipping. “it took you this long to realize?”

your tone takes on a teasing lilt. “no, no, your needy call was indicative enough.”

she looks away, mouth twitching. “yeah, sorry about that.”

you sit on the edge of the couch, and she tucks her legs further into the cushions to give you room. you reach down, rubbing a palm on her shirt for a few moments before snaking it under the fabric. with the fireplace alit, she’s warm to the touch. and, well, frankly, you nearly jump her bones when her muscles shift and flex under your touch. 

you shake your head. “don’t apologize. it was hot.”

her throat bobs. “mm.” 

“baby,” you whine, nails digging into her skin. “look at me. I missed you so much today.”

her head whips to you at your disgruntled tone and she immediately reaches her arms out, a frown piercing her skin. “sorry, sorry. I was just embarrassed. come here.” 

you practically crawl on top of her, face burying into the crook of her neck, cheeks warmed from the spot. “what happened? you’re so collected now.”

she lightly laughs, fingers stroking between your shoulder blades. “I just… um, took care of myself. minutes ago. it gave me some temporary relief.” 

you hum, kissing her neck, trying to ignore the wave of disappointment that rolls in at this news. part of you had been excited to see her all desperate and needy for you upon your arrival home. but, you know it’s not the fairest thing, considering how bothersome her endless arousal is for her. in addition to that is the early morning you have tomorrow. an entire night of fucking doesn’t seem the best recipe for your upcoming long day at work. maybe some peace would do you both good.

though, that notion shatters as soon as she sniffs your hair, then stills. “you weren’t dropped off by your usual friend, right?”

“no, no, one of the other girls did.”

you immediately feel her stiffen. “why did she give you a ride?”

“I don’t know – probably to be polite? why?” 

her jaw clenches. “are you sure about that?”

“lee,” you chide with a surprised laugh. “yes, I’m sure! I barely know her.”

“all the more evidence as to why she has no reason to be giving you a ride.”

you snicker at her words, eyes flicking up and widening at the sight of her cheeks sucked in in clear tension. “‘evidence,’ really? this isn’t a case, lee, there’s nothing to inspect here. do you not trust me?”

at the hard edge your voice takes on, lee flinches, her grip on your back tightening. “I do trust you. I’m just saying it’s… odd.”

“it’s not!” you exclaim, lifting your head from her shoulder to stare sharply at her. “she was just being nice because jess was feeling sick. what is up with you?”

it’s not like lee isn’t possessive. she absolutely has been since the start of your guys’ relationship, often wrapping a protective arm around your waist to ward off leering gazes and fucking you hard and fast in the privacy of her home when someone hits on you in public, leaving dark marks all over your skin. she’s confessed that even before, when you guys were just friends, she always felt jealous when you flirted jokingly with your other companions. so, this streak of hers is not unfamiliar, but it usually doesn’t rear its head in such petty, small matters.

“I just don’t like the idea of some girl dropping you home and thinking she has a chance with you.”

“I mentioned you to her, lee! she knows I’m seeing someone.”

“still.” her lips fold in and tighten, eyes casted onto the television. “she might still be thinking of it in… that way.”

“and?” you snap, voice biting, the long day and this attitude from her causing frustration to bubble and boil over the edge. “that’s not my problem, lee–”

she grips your jaw hard, pulling your face up to hers so fast it strains your neck. “well, it’s definitely mine.”

despite the remaining embers of frustration in the pit of your stomach, her words send a flood of heat through you. “lee…” 

her nimble fingers tease at your hair, weaving in with a tight grip. your eyes latch onto her dark ones, which rove over your face with intense focus. and with one tug, your face is shoved up to hers, and she’s kissing you hard, mouths pressed tightly together. her tongue slides into your mouth, toying languidly with yours as her pace slows down, the kiss becoming wet and slippery. you hate your body for succumbing so easily to her, but you can’t help it. not when she’s being so sloppy, swirling the muscle around yours, pulling back to suck it into her mouth, the resulting sting of the act causing you to keen softly. she grunts at the noise, palm pressing into your head to push you in deeper. she releases your tongue with a gentle pop, and begins lapping at it with quick flicks of her tongue. 

she mumbles against your lips, “you’re mine.”

“I am, but there’s no need to be so posse–” the words melt into a soft moan as she starts pressing wet kisses along your jaw.

“there is,” she mutters against your skin, pausing to suck on a certain spot, drawing it into the crevice of her soft mouth and laving her tongue over it afterwards. “why would I want anyone to think they can possibly have what’s mine?”

you sigh heavily at the words. as irrational as her jealousy is, you can’t control the stirring of arousal her words are starting to ignite. “they won’t, babe.”

“I know. because I’ll make sure of it.” her whisper is laced with determination. she presses another long, hard kiss to your pulse point.

you pull back, staring down at her. she looks so good in this angle, hair splayed out on the pillow, skin glowing from the fire, dark eyes unflinching in their gaze. “is this a heat thing? do you get more possessive or something?”

her eyes stray from you, as though she’s wondering. after a few moments of staring at the fire, she mutters, “I think so.” then, she adds, “and it’s a rut.”

you roll your eyes with a laugh. “oh, yes, sorry, missus alpha.”

her face twists into a slight cringe. “please, do not call me that.”

“oh, yeah?” you grasp her wrists, pressing them into the cushions beneath her. “does it get you hot and bothered?”

“no,” she scoffs softly. “it gets me uncomfortable.”

at this angle, you’re painfully aware that you’re tantalizingly close to her dick, the one she just got this morning and that you haven’t even seen yet. but, god, do you want to. ever since you saw that tent in her pants, thoughts of it have been dripping into your mind – what it’d look like, taste like, feel like along the tender spots of your body.

you just can’t resist, and you grind down, your mound rubbing right against her crotch. she hisses at the impact, lip catching behind her teeth. her reaction only eggs you on further, and you start swiveling your hips around, grinding down. she’s not hard just yet, so there’s not much contact, but watching her facial expressions is enough to get you off. her eyes are half-lidded, pretty and pink lips shiny with spit and parted, nostrils flaring.

her hands, still clasped with yours, raise up, propped on her elbows, giving you the leverage needed to continue humping her. you keep going, practically bouncing in her lap, an excited thrill bursting through you when you start to feel a stiff lump under you.

“hard, baby?” you drawl out teasingly, your nerves thrumming with eager delight. you want to see it, touch it, do fucking anything with it, so bad.

she only moans in response, her neck arching up and revealing all those pulsing muscles you love. she keeps her arms up, sweet thing she is, and you continue riding the stiff shape trapped behind her sweats.

“ah!” you cry out when you move back during one of your thrusts and feel how swollen she’s gotten from the base. she feels rock-hard under you, and so deliciously big. “lee, god…”

“baby, I need you,” she rasps out, her hips beginning to buck up, pressing her cock hard against you. the feeling of it, so stiff and curved, and pressed just right against your sensitive folds and growing clit, has you tossing your head back. she lets go of one of your hands, fingers threading through your hair as she tilts your head back down. “look at me.”

“it’s embarrassing,” you mumble, but listen, anyways, locking eyes with her, trying to not to think too hard about how you must look to her right now – eyes teary and hazy, tongue nearly hanging out. the latter of which lee seems to relish in, her thumb slipping into your mouth. you start at the touch, hips jerking harder, but then encircle your lips around the digit, shutting your eyes as your tongue rubs against the pad.

“I know. I like seeing you embarrassed.” 

the words make you buck especially hard, an act that has her tensing under, her other hand suddenly clenching onto your hip with an iron grip. “wait, wait…”

in the midst of your dizzying pleasure, it takes a few moments to process her words, but when you do, you immediately freeze up. “all okay?”

she winces. “my… it hurts down there.”

“because you’re turned on?”

“I mean, it does also hurt in that way. but, I can manage sex with it. I meant it hurts literally. because I, um, did too much today.”

your giggles at her admission break into a small groan when you realize this means you won’t be doing anymore tonight.

her fingertips soothingly trace the skin of your hips. “I can still take care of you.”

the prospect is tempting, but you’re mostly in the mood for one specific thing. you bite your lip. “no, no, it’s okay. I’m mostly craving, you know…” you give a pointed look down.

she whimpers at the words, then nods tightly. “yeah, okay.” after a pause, she adds, “you know, I will still enjoy it even if I don’t get touched.” her thumb presses to your inner thigh and strokes the fabric there. “I can smell your slick. and I really do wanna taste it.”

it’s so tempting, knowing you could just shuffle up a bit and easily ride her face right here, right now. but, the conversation breaks you out of your lustful haze a bit, and you know with the early hour you’re waking at tomorrow, it’d probably be best if you don’t fuck her face into oblivion.

“tomorrow,” you quietly promise, leaning down to press a kiss to her head.

–

tomorrow turns out to be taken in all seriousness by your girlfriend, for you wake up in the early hours of the morning to her kissing your neck, stiff dick poking against your thigh.

“baby, I need to get ready soon,” you groggily mumble, hips shuffling as she scrapes her teeth against your skin, nibbling lightly. 

“I know,” she whispers, snaking a hand up and grabbing your tit over your shirt.

you gasp at the touch, torso curving as you arch up. she doesn’t give you a break, thumb stroking along your nipple until the bud is hard and aching. when it is, she adds her index finger to the mix, rolling it easily between her calloused pads. the fabric dims the sensation a bit, giving you enough to make you writhe, but still withholding peak pleasure. all the while, she’s mouthing incessantly on your neck, lips opening up to suck sloppily on it, her drool slipping past the length of your neck.

“baby,” you whimper into your still dark bedroom, the early morning coating you both in the faintest purple light. “I–I need to–”

“I can be quick,” she mumbles, hand leaving your chest to pull your top up. when your tits are revealed to her, she ducks down, taking a perked nipple into her mouth, eyes shutting as she sucks generously on it. moans drip from her lips as she does, especially when you begin stroking her smooth hair. she shuts her eyes, focusing entirely on showering attention on your little bud, lips closing around to give it small, soft kisses, before her tongue begins lapping at it. the soft, wet, fast flicks send a bolt of arousal through you and you start whining, hips bucking. 

she pops her mouth from your nipple, swirling her tongue around it. “these are gonna look so pretty with milk,” she whispers, her tone filled with soft admiration.

your hips flinch at the filthy thought, squirming even more. “you mean when I get pregnant?”

“yes.” she licks the underside of your tit, pausing to suck a burning mark there. “when I give you my come.”

you know it’s just roleplay – neither of you are in any position for starting a family, and you’re diligently on birth control. but, the words still ignite a deep pit of arousal in you. and despite your earlier protests, your voice rises in anticipation. “now?” 

she sharply inhales. “no. I need to take my time for that.”

“then?” 

ten minutes later, she has you pinned to the bed on your stomach, her clothed dick rubbing against your pussy, the only thing separating you being her underwear and yours. one hand is shoved past the fabric, rubbing her fingers along your throbbing clit, while the other is thrusting two fingers into your open mouth. her hips move fast and hard, and you nearly want to sob at just how good her cock feels even with the thin layers of fabric separating you guys from skin-on-skin contact. it’s so stiff, and seems to fit so well along the length of your pussy, digging to the outside of your hole with each thrust and having your mind whirl with thoughts of her sliding it inside. the pressure hits every spot along your folds and lips, and between that and her finger rubbing attentively at your clit, you’re a mess.

“doing so good,” she says quietly against your ear, dotting a kiss to the lobe as her hips begin to jerk hard, your thighs slapping together as her cock continues to press and rub. you’re absolutely drenched, which only makes her ministrations even more slippery, your sticky underwear gliding along your cunt with each thrust. “I’m gonna fuck you tonight, okay?”

“okay,” you whine, feeling boneless and pliant as her strong body keeps you pinned to the bed. 

she slips her hand from your mouth, using it to grip your hair back, mouth hot against your cheek. “god, you feel good even like this. I wanna be inside you so bad.”

“yeah?” you moan out, voice slightly muffled from how your face is laid upon the pillow. “wanna fill me with come?”

“yeah.” she grits her teeth, thrusts becoming faster, her cock rubbing so tightly against you. “wanna get you so full your hole is weeping with it.”

you cry out. “then, you better make sure to do it again and again.”

“I will. gonna make sure we get you pregnant.”

your voice shatters into a broken whine. “fuck, lee.”

your reaction causes a soft huff of laughter from her, and she mumbles, “you like that, don’t you? thinking of being knocked up with my pups, showing everyone who claimed you.”

“y–yes, I love it.” it’s so dirty, so humiliating, but so true. you love the idea of being marked at hers, at having your body physically change due to something she left inside of you. the entire idea gets you drenched.

“good. I’ll give you however many you want.” her long fingers grip your jaw, turning your head to the side, where her waiting, wanting lips are ready to meet yours. the kiss is messy, accompanied with heavy gasps against each other, your cries only intensifying as she speeds up her hips.

after a few moments, she grunts loudly, panting out, “baby, I-I’m close. gonna give you my load.”

you rub your ass back up against her, pussy fucking aching to be stretched out on her dick right now and having her come shoved deep into you. but, you know it’ll all come in good time, as well as that right now, she clearly wishes the same. you use that to your  advantage, whining out, “please fill me up, give me a baby.”

she gasps loudly against your ear, slamming her hips down a few more times before her body begins to buck messily, her breaths shallow as she trembles from above you. 

you close your eyes, delighting in the noises of her soft, whispering moans and her heavy breaths, trying to picture her coming inside of you as she makes them. with that mental image in mind, and her finger continuing to rub incessantly at your clit, you toss your head back, mouth opening in silence as your walls clench and tighten on nothing, begging to be sucking on her cock.

her body sags upon you, keeping you pressed into the mattress. you laugh into the pillow. “get off me, you loser.”

she groans. “no. it’s comfortable.”

when you gently turn your body over, sending lee plopping into the bed, she whines, arms reaching out. “no, no, please.”

“baby!” you admonish, tossing your legs over the bed. “I’m already running late.”

she frowns. “but, um, was it worth it?” the question is forced out in a firm, neutral tone, but you know your girlfriend better than that.

and so, you pause at the insecurity quieting her voice. when you catch her looking away, you rush to crawl back onto the bed, cupping her face and turning to you. “it was so good, baby. like, so fucking hot.” an earnest kiss touches her lips. “I loved every second, truly. I promise, it wasn’t an inconvenience at all, I’m sorry if I made it sound like that.”

she mumbles, “no, I’m sorry for being clingy.”

“shut up.” you kiss her again. “you’re not ever clingy just for being affectionate, or–or, for having feelings. besides, I like you all clingy.” her face warms under your palms and you try not to grin hard. “I’m so sorry I can’t cuddle now, baby, I just can’t afford to be late with me already taking off tomorrow and the day after.”

she hums contentedly. “I know.”

you kiss her forehead, then move to retrieve your clothes from your duffel bag. 

“how about we… shower together?” when you whirl around in surprise, her mouth twitches, head ducking down. “I just want to be close before you go.”

you bite your lip. if you two shower together, you’ll see… it. you resolve that you have better self-control than that, though, and will be able to handle it without getting sexual. at least you hope so. “sure.” 

in the soft, orange light of her bathroom, you gulp down at the sight of her grey boxers soaked through, a dark path covering nearly the entire length of it. her eyes flick to where yours linger, and she clears her throat. “yeah, I got a bit carried away.”

the bait is right there. you can’t resist it. you sit on the counter and spread your legs, showing her your soaked underwear. “so did I.”

her nose makes a whistle-like sound as she tightly draws in a breath. “don’t. I’m gonna get hard again.”

you close your legs with a guilty smile, and hop off the counter, beginning to undress. when you glance to lee, she’s topless, clad in nothing but her boxers, but clearly hesitating.

you reach out to touch her collarbone, skimming your fingers along it. “it’s okay if you’re not comfortable.”

she nods. “I am, though. it’s just new to you.”

with that, she drags her boxers down her legs. your eyes zero in on the spot between her legs, nearly whining when you finally see her dick. it’s so pretty, all flushed and creamy from her orgasm, leaking at the tip and softened up. it’s like some sort of treat, one that you want rolling between your tongue and lips for hours, until your throat is coated in her seed. it’s new and abrupt, to say the least, to see her in this state, but your mind is too clouded by desire to really let any shock linger. 

her eyes are hooked onto your shoulder, clearly avoiding your gaze.

as embarrassing as it is to admit it out loud, you push through, knowing your assurance is what'll relax her most. “you look so good, baby. you look so hot.”

she taps at her thigh, eyes hesitantly raising to you. “really?” 

you nod, resisting the urge to fucking purr at her. “uh huh.”

“okay. okay, good.”

the shower is equal parts pleasure and torture. you love seeing your girlfriend’s lean body get soaked through, faint muscles shining as they ripple and move with her movements. her hair out of the usual ponytail, pretty and falling past her shoulders. drops hanging off her long lashes, lips slippery wet. it’s all such a sight to take in. but, every brush of her cock against your thigh, your ass, your hand, has you nearly keening, wanting nothing more than to have your front shoved against the tile walls as she pounds you out until you see stars.

you can tell lee feels it too, hissing and heavily breathing whenever such a slight touch happens. 

by the time you’re ready to leave work, you’re almost thankful to be gone, for being near your girlfriend and having to resist fucking proves to be one of the hardest tasks you’ve dealt with. 

lee was right. you’re practically in your own rut, too.

–

“did you complete the order?” a soft voice asks from behind you.

you immediately smile at the sight of your girlfriend, bliss flooding through you after the long hours of working and missing her immensely. you wrap your arms around her neck, drawing her in close. “mhm.” 

she loosely wraps her arms around your waist, lips tilting up shyly. you know she’s still not fully used to affection in public, and it’s not something she herself usually initiates, apart from hand-holding. but, she seems to be relishing in your attention right now, fingers tight around your back. she leans in closer. “you smell nice.”

you snort, voice lowering. “you’re in a rut – I’m always smelling nice to you.”

“yeah, but right now, it’s stronger.” her lips fold in. “it’s really nice.”

“oh?” you giggle, siddling closer to her. “is ‘really nice’ code for ‘arousing’?”

her nostrils flare. “be quiet. someone might hear.”

“lee, there’s no one near us!” you softly exclaim, eyes circling around your surroundings to emphasize your point. 

“it’s half for my own sake, too.”

you press the front of your body to her, relishing in the power you clearly hold over her. “oh? why? what will happen?”

she sucks in a sharp breath at your contact. “you know what’ll happen.”

“no, no, I don’t.”

she scoffs, slightly smiling. “don’t play naive. we both know that’s not you.”

she’s right. that isn’t you. you had to practically spend a half hour convincing yourself at work today to not sneak off to the bathroom and fuck yourself to a phone call with her. to say you’ve been needy, and more than aware of the sexual dynamic you two have slid into, is an understatement. 

“but, I am,” you whine, anyways. you know how much this gets to her – the little innocent act, encouraging her into the position of corrupting you. “I’m such a good girl. I’m just lucky no big, bad wolves have gotten ahold of me yet.”

lee’s hand braces against your back, pulling you in closer. “yet,” she mutters against your ear, and you can hear the deep inhale she takes. “jesus, you smell good.”

you giggle. “why are you so obsessed?”

“I don’t know.” her tone is slightly frustrated, and you can’t help but feel endeared over the fact that even now, in the middle of a rut, lee has it in her to be confounded over something. she sighs, eyes lowered in clear, focused thought. finally, they widen imperceptibly. “are you ovulating?”

“lee, shh!” you squeak, eyes darting around to make sure no one heard.

finally, your order number is called out. you dash over, pick up the paper bag, and with a petulant glare to lee, start walking out of the door.

she lightly jogs over to you in the parking lot. you had taken the bus to work this morning, and the sight of lee’s car in this cold autumn evening makes your body loosen in relief. she wraps an arm around your waist. “are you?”

you roll your eyes. “yes. why?” 

lee’s steps slow to an eventual halt. “oh.” 

your eyebrows knit in concern. “what’s wrong?”

“well, if you are, then it might be risky to, you know…” her eyes drift into a sidelong gaze, clearly shying away from saying the word out loud.

“but, lee, I’m on birth control.”

“still,” she mutters, gripping tightly onto the sleeve of her oversized jacket, “it’s risky. you’re more prone to, you know–”

“I know, but that doesn’t change my mind. we can deal with anything that happens when it does, okay?”

she picks at her lip. “baby, still. I can just…” her eyes flick about, and she leans closer. “... pull out.”

your hole practically clenches down in protest. “no. please. I want it so bad.” your tone becomes a mixture of actual words and whimpering softness. you know you sound so desperate, so needy, but your mind has been nothing but mental images of lee pumping her seed into you. you wonder if when the person you love is in a rut, it impacts you too, for you feel like you’ve been wanting this just as much, if not more, than her. 

the ghost of a smile appears on her face. “I can see that.”

your eye twitches. “as if you don’t. are we forgetting this morning?”

her nostrils flare and she stares hard at the ground. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

“and why would you?” you continue, delighting in the hook you seem to have latched into her, and wanting to pull, pull and pull her closer. “you clearly wanna give in and give it to me. especially when I’m, you know… more fertile.” you mentally cringe at those last two words, the taste of them foreign on your tongue.

but, it’s worth it, because lee’s jaw clenches, her gaze stabbing. she opens the passenger door. “get in.”

as you shuffle into the seat, you laugh and say, “funny, I was going to say the same thi–”

she shuts the door, and you snort.

lee climbs into the driver’s seat, pushing the key in and warming the car. as it rumbles to a start, you’re suddenly yanked by your jacket to her. you softly gasp, her lips hovering just over yours. 

“too much,” she mutters, before pressing a harsh kiss to your mouth. her lips push and suck at yours, tongue shoving in and lapping. her cold hand moves to your neck, fingers gently grabbing it, putting the faintest amount of pressure into her hold. her rough, pink muscle swirls around yours, rubbing hard along the roof of your mouth. you’re panting against her mouth, saliva trickling from the corner of your mouth. she parts from you, her tongue slowly massaging along the corner and licking up the drool. “just be quiet now,” she whispers. 

you snort. “or else?”

you receive your answer to that as soon as you’re inside her cottage. food discarded on her coffee table, you're dragged to her bedroom and thrown onto the bed. half an hour later, she has two fingers deep inside you, her mouth latched onto your clit. your panties are pushed to the side, pants still hanging off your leg. she’s hooking her lips around your bud, drawing it in with slow, languid sucks that have you throbbing deep down into your core. her long, firm fingers push scrape against your sensitive walls so good, rough and calloused from her job.

“oh,” you moan softly, torso arching off the bed. her mouth is making filthy noises against your pussy, sucking and kissing sloppily. it sounds so raspy, especially accompanied with her long groans.

“yeah, good, you’re doing good,” she murmurs, the words moist with the way her lips remain pressed to your pussy.

you squirm from her praise, and whine louder when she flattens her forearm on your tummy, forcing you to remain still. 

“so needy,” she murmurs, sounding all too teasing for someone who’s face-deep in your pussy, moaning and licking at it without wavering. “have you been… opening yourself for me?”

voice shaky, you respond. “yes.” you’ve taken to fucking yourself with your dildo almost everyday the past week. it’s been harder since you started staying at lee’s two days ago, what with her raging horniness inevitably going to get triggered by you doing any form of masturbation near her. but, before you left work today, you had fucked yourself in the bathroom, pushing the dildo in and out of your sopping cunt, until it slid in with ease.

“I can tell.” she adds a third finger in, and you nearly squeal from excitement, the addition giving you an aching, hot stretch. “you’re looser than usual.”

her blunt words have you shivering. “just for you.”

“yeah.” she gives you a sharp suck on your little, swollen nub, leaning back momentarily to spit directly on it. her warm, thick saliva smacking into your clit has your hips bucking, and her arm presses down harder. “gonna stretch you out even more.”

she slips her fingers out and before you can cry out in protest, she rolls you onto your stomach. without hesitation, her fingers hook into your pant’s waistband, sliding them the rest of the way down your legs. your body immediately wracks with chills as she tugs the pants past your ankles and feet. 

her long fingers dig into your lace-clad ass before skimming along the trim. “wore these just for me?” the wisp of a smile graces her face. “that excited?”

you bite your lip. of course it was for her. but, you don’t want to give in so easily and admit to it just yet. “no, I always wear– mmph,” you whimper, pressing your face down into the blanket.

because in the middle of your sentence, lee grabs your hips, pushing you against her so that your legs hang off the edge of her bed, and her hard-on is pressed right against you through the layers of your panties and her sweats.

you gasp at feeling how hard it is, fisting the sheets. the curved length of it rubs just right along your pussy, and lee lowers her hips so that it presses against your clit. her hands tightly clutch your hips and she rocks her cock against you, the rough material of her sweats combined with the firmness of her cock making your eyes roll back.

she gently lifts the edge of your panties before letting it snap into your skin. the sting of it makes you flinch, jerking back onto her cock. she moans softly. “feels good.”

“baby, please, I can’t take it.” you need her cock, you need to wrap your lips around it, swallow it down, have it deep in your guts.

“yeah?” she grunts, beginning to thrust against you harder, the fabric of her sweats rubbing roughly at your thighs as she keeps stroking the bump of her boner into you. “wanna feel it in you?”

“want it so bad, daddy,” you whine, gripping the sheets so hard your knuckles strain.

she hums quietly. “you must be really needy if you’re calling me that.”

“as if you aren’t,” you manage to scoff through your moans. “you’ve been practically on me every moment of every day.”

she snaps your panties again, and you whimper. it’s a warning. “I don’t remember you complaining.” her thumb slides between where her clothed dick is shoved against you, thumbing at your soaked panties. as she does, you can feel the pooling wetness moving around, sinking deeper into your folds. “nor do you seem to be right now.” her fingers slide under your panties, rubbing against your pussy.

the skin-on-skin contact, her fingertips still cold from the weather, have you bucking up. it’s good, so good, to feel her hands on you like this, but you need more. you need her inside.

“lee, god, please…”

“please what?”

you groan in frustration. “you know what.” you wonder how she manages to have so much self-control at this moment. is teasing you really more of a priority than getting some release of her rut?

when you ask her it, albeit between moans and whines when she starts circling your clit, she bites her lip tentatively. “just want to make it good for you too.”

“ugh,” you groan at her sweetness. “it will, bozo, but I just want it in me and– fuck.” you moan loudly when she rips your panties from you, the sheer, flimsy pieces of fabric discarded to the floor. “lee, what the fuck, I liked those.” despite your words, you’re squirming, her casual display of strength doing wonders to wetten your pussy even more.

“I’ll get you more.” you hear the sounds of her shrugging off her jacket and tossing it to the cushioned chair in her bedroom. “take the rest of your clothes off.”

still faced away from her, you suck in a breath at the gentle order, and do as she says, removing your shirt and bra. when you turn on your back shyly, fully naked and exposed, you hiss at the sight of lee’s cock gently bobbing in the air, her lower half completely nude, clad in nothing but her fbi academy sweater. your mouth waters at the sight of her cock, milky precum dripping from the tip, her entire shape swollen and hard, a bit more thick and firm this morning, as well as more flushed.

your thighs rub together, aching to have any touch on your pussy. “daddy, please, I…” you shuffle to the edge of her bed, and she slowly follows you, eyes almost predatory in how carefully they’re watching you. when she’s in front of you, cock hanging just centimetres from your chin, you feel your tongue dart out to lick your lips. 

she inhales a shaky breath. you can feel the seams of her self-control beginning to unravel now that you’re both so close to what you want. “please what?”

“can I please suck on it?”

she grits her teeth, voice sounding raspier when she speaks, as though she needs to force the words out. “okay. but, just for a bit, baby, I can’t–” another sharp breath cuts her off, and it melts into a husky, long moan. 

because the permission was all you needed. as soon as she gives it, you wrap your fingers around the part. it’s velvety smooth under your skin, lest for the small, brown, coarse hairs coiling at the base. you raise it up, admiring the heaviness of it, pussy squeezing at the idea of it stretching you out and filling you to the brim. but, your curiosity is too strong – you want to know what it tastes like.

you duck your head down, planting a soft kiss to the tip. lee fucking whines, she’s so sensitive, her hips immediately jerking towards you. the reaction feels like a reward of sorts, and so, you continue pressing soft, wet little kisses along the tip. her precum coats your lips, leaking into the inner part of them. it’s a bit salty and sticky, but it’s lee, and that makes you ravenous for more.

you wrap your mouth around the entire tip, sucking it in with slow little motions of tightening your mouth on it. even the tip has a weight that rests so comfortably in your mouth, and you shut your eyes, lost in the motion of sucking her, your mouth beginning to produce low soaking sounds in the empty room. those, paired with lee’s heavy breathing, have you even more determined to continue. 

with a pop, you release her, and lee immediately whispers, her tone desperate and annoyed, “why’d you– ah, shit.”

the long licks you start delivering to her tip must be doing something really nice to make your careful baby curse like that, you think as you return to your ministrations with more pressure. you relish in the effect you seem to be having on her, flattening your tongue and stroking it against swollen head, specifically her tip. you start curling small, tiny licks with the rough, pink point of your tongue and that seems to do it for her, her entire body racking with shivers. 

“fuck, let me fuck your face, baby,” she rasps out.

she does this kind of thing with her strap all the time. some sadistic streak in her loves seeing you struggle to swallow down her cock, gurgling and choking down on it, tears leaking. you love it just as much – seeing your reserved, self-contained girlfriend lose control and do something she held back on for the longest time out of wanting to be careful with you.

your mouth immediately hangs open and without a moment’s hesitation, she lifts her cock to your lips. she smacks the head of it against the opening, and tiny drops of her precum mixed with your spit fall onto your lips. you stick your tongue out, and she faintly smiles, continuing to slap her cock against it. she lets it drag along your tongue once, twice, before slowly inching it in. 

you’re not able to take in the entirety of it, maybe only half. but, it seems to be enough for lee, whose head hangs back, eyebrows furrowed in something that looks split between anguished pleasure and focused desire. 

you keep it locked in your mouth for a few moments, lips straining and aching with the thickness of her. she’s not so big that it feels impossible to take her in, but she definitely has a thicker girth than the dildo you two use. 

when she tilts her head in a silent question, and you nod, you barely have a moment to process the decision before she starts pumping her cock in, shoving it in and out of your mouth with a ruthless pace. it hits the back of your throat, and you gag all over it, mouth tumbling with soft whines and noises of struggle. drool pools and spills from your mouth, bursting along your chin, and the moments where your reflexes fail to serve you lead to tears streaming down your face.

her thumb brushes against them, and even through her gasps and hard, deep grunts, her eyes seem to soften. “so pretty,” she mumbles.

these words cause a slowing in pace, her slippery, wet-soaked cock dipping in and out of your mouth in gradual, steady motions. you blink through the blurs of your tears, your clit aching when you see the sheen of sweat on her forehead, her eyes wide and latched onto you, bottom lip hooked behind her line of teeth. her cheeks are flushed, her breathing is more laboured than when she’s working out, and you know how into this she must be. 

she slips out, muting your whine of protest with a rough, tight grip on your jaw, coaxing your mouth open. she leans down and spits a wad of saliva onto your tongue. the wet burst in your mouth makes your breaths shudder, wishing it could’ve been her sticky load. but, more than your want for that is the need for her to shove that load deep in your hole.

which is why your stomach flutters in excitement when she pushes you onto your back, easily climbing over you. your legs spread wide for her, a choked gasp exiting your mouth when her dripping cock brushes over your folds. a loud hiss is heard from above, and you look up to find lee, blinking hard, clearly trying to reign herself in. 

“it might hurt a little,” she whispers, her breaths puffing softly near your mouth. 

you press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. part of you is a little nervous, but it’s dimmed from the anticipation, sheer want and burning curiosity. “I know. it’s okay.”

she grabs something from the nightstand and you turn your head, snorting at the bottle of lube. “prepared, aren’t we?”

she shoots you an exasperated look, pinched lips still curling up in spite of it. “I want to keep you comfortable.”

your stomach flips from the words. you have the sweetest girlfriend to ever grace this earth. the tender sentiment smoulders into hot lust when she squirts from the bottle some of the transparent, thick lube onto her palm, wrapping her hand around her dick to stroke it on. it covers the part in a dripping, wet coat of slippery wetness, and makes it look even more tempting. 

when you give her your okay, she moves forward with a soft moan and the head of her pushes into your hole. you moan at the way it stretches into you, the sensation full satisfaction with just the ghost of stinging pain. as her cock digs in further, you feel your walls expand to accommodate her, burning and aching with the thickness of her. it’s not too painful, per say, but rather just a strain to adapt and settle into. 

the entire time, lee, wrapped in your arms, face pressed against your cheek, is moaning and whimpering. she’s never sounded so vocal before, and it makes your pussy tighten to hear the way she’s quietly crying out just from your pussy gripping around her. when she’s fully sheathed in you, she buries her face in your neck, gasping against the skin, her warm breaths of air making you feel even hotter, already surrounded by her body and with her thick sweater pressed against your chest. 

lee’s breaths are ragged when her hips press flush into yours. you can feel her struggle in staying still, her body tense and stiff against you. you take a few moments, eyes fluttering shut as you adjust to her size. her cock pushes against your walls with its velvety skin, hairs at the base tickling along your pussy. your hole feels tight with the length of her inside, burning with the ache of having her press in, widening you out for herself. 

when the slight pain begins to simmer, you moan loudly. she’s stuffing you so full, her thick cock all you can think about at this moment with how it feels like it’s filling up every single inch within. it’s warm, and smooth and perfectly thick, and you need her to move. 

“go, go,” you whine, hands snaking under her sweatshirt and digging into the soft skin of her back. her breath hitches, though you can’t tell if it’s from your words or the contact. “move, daddy, please.”

“fuck,” she mutters against your ear, slowly pulling back, her cock slipping out. you whine at the loss, the noise shattering into a soft yelp when she dips it back in, your walls clinging onto her. “you feel so good around me.”

“mm, I hope breedable,” you giggle, feeling light-headed with the amount of pleasure rooted in your pussy.

her eyes squeeze shut. “stop that. I wanna make this last.”

“awe, does daddy get all riled up at the idea of breeding me full?”

lee’s nostrils flare, narrowing her eyes at you in clear frustration. 

usually, you might be too shy to say such unabashed, filthy sentiments, but the clear impact you’re having on her – feeling the pillow underneath you stretch with her tight grip on it, seeing how her eyes widen, the tensing of her jaw – motivate you to go further, tease her more, feel and relish in just how much she needs you. “gonna get me all loaded with–”

she tugs you by the hair, holding your head still as her mouth presses to yours. her tongue worms in, lips curving against yours with months of expertise on her sleeve. as she does, the speed of her thrusts quicken, her cock beginning to pump in and out in a steady motion, letting your hole empty out and then plunging back into you. 

your noises are muffled against her lips, quiet and squeaky as her teeth clash against yours, the kiss turning brutal. you can feel the frustration in it – the way she licks at your teeth and sucks carnally on your lips, as though her goal is to devour you rather than make love. 

“I will get you fucking loaded.” her hips smack brutally into yours now, cock piercing in and out so sharply, with such hard, pointed thrusts that your head lolls back. “you’re gonna stay here till I have my fill.”

you writhe from the harsh words, your pussy tightening on her like a glove. she kisses your forehead, laughing softly. “liked that?”

“no,” you splutter, wanting to push her even further. “I–”

her fingers wrap around your throat loosely, no pressure in the touch, but holding you in place. “do you want me to come in you or not?”

“please, you wouldn’t be able to resist.”

“and you would?” the noise of skin slapping rings through the room as she begins to drill her cock into you faster. “do you think I missed your reaction this morning? practically panting for my dick.”

a strangled noise wrings out of your throat. “it looked pretty!”

a twinge of adoration blooms in you when you feel her falter inside you, cheeks darkening to pink. her eyes tentatively raise to you, before lowering to press another kiss to your lips, infinitely more tender than before.

when you two part, she starts slamming her hips down again, pounding into you with the exact same pace as before. the tip tickles at the sweet spot tucked deep into your hole and your entire body arches up, spine curving from the sheer delight it sends through you. 

lee pushes her face into your chest, mindlessly sucking and biting at your tit as she keeps going. one hand slides from beside your head, gripping tightly onto it and hooking her soft lips around your perked nipple. her tongue skims along it before pressing harder, focused licks. the sensitivity of your nipples, and her mouth’s hot touches on them, cause pleasure to sharply pierce through your chest. 

she pulls away and gently smacks your tit, watching it move before getting her mouth back on it. “gonna get these so heavy.”

she gently hooks her teeth into them, and the scrape of it is like a deep, hard itch. you slide your fingers into her hair, keeping her against your chest. “you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

lee delivers one last kiss to your chest before lathering her tongue along the length of your jaw. the coolness of it makes you shiver, and you clutch onto her tightly, needing the warmth of her body, her sweater, and her rock hard cock sliding into you. she whispers, hand stroking along your stomach, “the only thing I’d like more is to get this heavy too.”

you wrap your legs around her waist, pulling her tight and flush into you as she thrusts fast and hard. your words are nearly incoherent through all the moans and whines. “do it, daddy. wanna feel your come squeeze in me.”

“fuck.” her cock slams into you, continuously hitting that spot, sending your eyes rolling back. “gonna make sure you get it so deep. your pussy’s gonna be a mess when I’m done with it.”

“w-want it so bad. you can do it however many times.”

her hand snakes down your body and you keen at the blissful jolt that shoots through your core when her thumb begins flicking at your clit. “I know. but, I want you to come first.” she kisses your ear, gasping against it, “wanna feel you milk me.”

you suddenly feel something bulging at the base of her cock, smacking against the stretched ring of your hole. “lee,” you gasp, “is that–?”

you know what it is before she even answers. it’s her knot. but, you know you shouldn’t get too overeager. part of lee’s little whiteboard lesson had included a disclaimer that she absolutely wouldn’t be putting her knot in you during your first time having sex – that it was too big, too much for your first time taking her in in this state.

“yeah,” she grunts into your ear. “is it too much?”

“no, no, keep going,” you beg, hands continuing to stroke and grab at her strong back. her knot doesn’t feel painful in its gentle smacks against you, and the sensation only adds to your already increasing pleasure, giving the exterior of your pussy as much stimulation as the inside. everytime she slides fully in, it bumps against your clit along with her thumb, and the feel of it has you squirming uncontrollably, the ache within you growing and tightening, pulling at you for release. “baby, I think I’m close.” your legs’ grip on her torso tighten, thighs tensing. 

“me too.” she nips at your ear, her thumb beginning to rapidly press hard, up-and-down strokes on your clit. “want you to do it first.” her voice is husky, swimming in the honeyed command. 

“yes, daddy,” you groan, one hand latched tightly into her back and the other wound into her hair and tugging, all attempts to brat melted away completely. “gonna be your perfect breeding slut.”

“yeah, you sound like a slut, begging for it,” she mumbles.

all you can do is claw at her back, your neck exposed for her to bite and suck, tits shaking, as she bucks and bucks into you. her thumb pushes incessantly at your clit, making it throb and build into an all-consuming wave of arousal. she keeps going, ruthlessly pounding and digging her cock deep into you, hitting that sweet spot, her knot rubbing and sliding against your crinkled, slippery folds, your walls hugging and tightly wrapped her. her face, right above yours, is tight in concentration, eyebrows drawn in, mouth clamped shut and face flushed. 

the sight of that face, her quiet, filthy words, just lee, are what push you over the edge. your body bucks and twists as the ache bursts and sends streams of hot, blooming pleasure in your stomach. you can’t get over it – the satisfaction of your walls clenching so hard while she fills you up, keeping you plugged full. you grip onto her shoulders tightly, her body continuing to move against you as she plunges into your hole. you know she usually struggles, at least a bit, to keep pushing in as you come, and the thought flashes through your mind if her rut changes her physical strength. a thought that, despite the genuine curiosity it contains, only turns you on even more.

lee cries out quietly as you clamp down on her, her body shaking as though your orgasm is hers. her pants are heavy and loud against your ear, hips beginning to grow messy in their pace and measure.

as your flutters around her dick slow down, she groans loudly. “that felt so good. I’m close.” there’s a near whine to the words, as though her impending orgasm is equal parts euphoric and agonizing.

“do it, baby,” you gently encourage, desperate for her seed, her marking of you, for her to make you hers. “come in me, baby, get me bred.”

she hisses sharply against your ear, rutting into you without a moment of relent. her cock shoves into you in three more thrusts, and then, you feel her body suddenly freeze before breaking into convulsions, a broken cry shooting from her pretty lips. she buries her face in your neck, continuing to ride into you, and you gasp when you feel the burst of her come inside your hole. it feels so thick, heavy spurts of it splashing against your walls and getting coaxed deeper into you with every thrust, the milky consistency of it sloshing between lee’s cock and your walls. 

high off the feeling of her filling you, you whine, “are you sure you can’t put the knot in?” she’s still inside you, your walls hugging around her. it’d be so easy for her to.

a shudder sends her body trembling in your arms. “baby, no, it’s too much for your first time.” her voice is firm, though you can’t tell if it’s with determination or an attempt to restrain herself. 

you moan in protest, a noise she quiets with a gentle kiss, whispering, “another time, baby.” 

the soft gesture after such a brutal round of lovemaking has you nearly cooing in pleasure, pressing your own kiss to her cheek. “yeah, but does ‘another time’ mean ‘this week before my rut ends’?”

she huffs out a silent laugh. “depends.” 

“on?” 

a soft snicker leaves her lips. after her eyes skim over your face, your stomach flipping at the sheer adoration there, her mouth begins travelling down your neck again. “how well we open you tonight.”

[dividers by: @cafekitsune]

[aihoshiino]

It's Hoshinover: Oshi no Posting Post Oshi no Ko

Hello gang! I thought I'd make a quick post outlining what my plans are now the series is over. Like I mentioned in my 166 chapter review, I still have a lot to say and I don't plan on going anywhere! But I also thought it would help for me to still have that bi-weekly structure for discussions that the release schedule gave me... so here's my plans going forward now the series is wrapped!

Bi-weekly series re-visit!

Every other Wednesday, I'll be alternating between episode reviews and volume reviews as I make my way through the series again! Episode reviews will be a more in-depth continuation of my OnK Rewatch I started a bit ago with the intent to focus on the adaptation itself as an experience.

Volume reviews will be my re-read of the whole series now we have the full thing in front of us. Basically, just an expanded & less speculative version of my chapter reviews! I'll be following along with the YenPress translation of the manga as well, so I'll be commenting on the TL choices there too because I'm annoying <3

Askbox is remaining open!

I'll get to everyone's questions eventually I prommyyyyyyyyy

Fanfics

YES I STILL WRITE THESE I PROMISE!!! I had some creative commitments elsewhere over the last two or so months so I had to take a break from working on my current projects but I've got a lot of things cooking! Chapter 5 of An Invincible Girl is in the works, as is chapter 2 of Atonement or Sacrifice. I also have chapter 1 of Oshi no Gohan and Rotten Happy Heart mostly drafted and am hoping to get those up eventually as well!

I also have a big, long term-project that's in the planning stages with the gang on the OnK Brainrot server so please look forward to... whenever we're ready to announce that!

[blackkatdraws2]

There are more things in the Parable than Stanley knows about. [Blank Scripts AU]

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

well. now that I have the rage of 1000 suns in me after someone accused me of plagiarizing my original writing theory <3 it's time to get a little silly (SHARE THE UPDATED MEMO)! I present you:

Rachel's 4-Step Short Story Breakdown

In this breakdown, I've included:

My 4-step approach to story structure (for stories between 1200-3500 words)

Special notes that expand on my thoughts

A list of (free to read online) short stories to study (links embedded)

Feel free to rb/share as you see fit! :)

[cluescorner]

I doubt they would survive a day in their own communities. Like, have y’all ever interacted with LGBTQ+ people IRL?? It’s really cool. Genuinely was a wonderful experience for me. Met someone who went by it/its pronouns because it saw that as the only way to distance itself from the demand to fit into boxes implanted on it by humanity. Met someone who goes by any pronouns and faer does that for the exact same reason as the person above. He and it were besties, hearing their discussions on gender was really fucking cool. Made me question my gender, I found out I’m cis but it was still a good experience. More relevant to this post, you’ve also got a pack of wild lesbians who congregated once while I was volunteering: me the young’un (cis, she/her, femme lesbian, has sensory issues with penetration of any kind but isn’t ace), an elder lesbian (bacla, she/he/siya (no preference but one of those) likes penetrative and non-penetrative sex), and a lesbian roughly between our ages (trans, she/her, about 4 months into socially transitioning, asexual). We’re just...talking about being lesbians and our differing experiences. It’s great, we taught each other a lot in the day we knew each other! Siya helped teach me about ways to explore myself and my preferences without triggering any averse reactions, I helped the trans lesbian vibe with wanting to be more gender conforming and traditionally ‘feminine’ (teaching trans femmes the joys of spinning around in frilly dresses is so nice), and she helped our elder get caught up with modern gay news. We left our stations and I’ve never seen either of them again, but this shit is so fun and so much better than arguing with randos about whether or not they ‘count’ as a lesbian. Imagine if I did what tiktok does and spent that whole time saying that our elder couldn’t be a lesbian because siya doesn’t strictly identify as a femme-aligned person or that the trans lesbian was teaching him about the ‘wrong’ gay news because most of it involved ‘bad rep’. Say what you want about cheesy cishet friendly romcom fodder, but seeing my elder beam at the idea that non-LGBTQ+ people cared about our stories on a large scale made that mediocre movie worth existing. IDK, people need to get involved in their communities (online or offline) and meet gay people outside of their immediate bubble. 

TLDR; I’m 90% sure people involved in gay discourse have never actually spent time around gay people outside of their immediate bubble and that makes me sad. Talk to people y’all, it’s great. 10/10, would recommend. 

people on tiktok would never survive a day on tumblr

[saritawolff]

Phew. This one took, uh… a bit longer than expected due to other projects both irl and art-wise, but it’s finally here. The long-awaited domestic animal infographic! Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough space to cover every single domestic animal (I’m so sorry, reindeer and koi, my beloveds) but I tried to include as many of the “major ones” as possible.

I made this chart in response to a lot of the misunderstandings I hear concerning domestic animals, so I hope it’s helpful!

Further information I didn’t have any room to add or expand on:

🐈 “Breed” and “species” are not synonyms! Breeds are specific to domesticated animals. A Bengal Tiger is a species of tiger. A Siamese is a breed of domestic cat.

🐀 Different colors are also not what makes a breed. A breed is determined by having genetics that are unique to that breed. So a “bluenose pitbull” is not a different breed from a “rednose pitbull”, but an American Pitbull Terrier is a different breed from an American Bully! Animals that have been domesticated for longer tend to have more seperate breeds as these differing genetics have had time to develop.

🐕 It takes hundreds of generations for an animal to become domesticated. While the “domesticated fox experiment” had interesting results, there were not enough generations involved for the foxes to become truly domesticated and their differences from wild foxes were more due to epigenetics (heritable traits that do not change the DNA sequence but rather activate or deactivate parts of it; owed to the specific circumstances of its parents’ behavior and environment.)

🐎 Wild animals that are raised in human care are not domesticated, but they can be considered “tamed.” This means that they still have all their wild instincts, but are less inclined to attack or be frightened of humans. A wild animal that lives in the wild but near human settlements and is less afraid of humans is considered “habituated.” Tamed and habituated animals are not any less dangerous than wild animals, and should still be treated with the same respect. Foxes, otters, raccoons, servals, caracals, bush babies, opossums, owls, monkeys, alligators, and other wild animals can be tamed or habituated, but they have not undergone hundreds of generations of domestication, so they are not domesticated animals.

🐄 Also, as seen above, these animals have all been domesticated for a reason, be it food, transport, pest control, or otherwise, at a time when less practical options existed. There is no benefit to domesticating other species in the modern day, so if you’ve got a hankering for keeping a wild animal as a pet, instead try to find the domestic equivalent of that wild animal! There are several dog breeds that look and behave like wolves or foxes, pigeons and chickens can make great pet birds and have hundreds of colorful fancy breeds, rats can be just as intelligent and social as a small monkey (and less expensive and dangerous to boot,) and ferrets are pretty darn close to minks and otters! There’s no need to keep a wolf in a house when our ancestors have already spent 20,000+ years to make them house-compatible.

🐖 This was stated in the infographic, but I feel like I must again reiterate that domestic animals do not belong in the wild, and often become invasive when feral. Their genetics have been specifically altered in such a way that they depend on humans for optimal health. We are their habitat. This is why you only really see feral pigeons in cities, and feral cats around settlements. They are specifically adapted to live with humans, so they stay even when unwanted. However, this does not mean they should live in a way that doesn’t put their health and comfort as a top priority! If we are their world, it is our duty to make it as good as possible. Please research any pet you get before bringing them home!

[hayatoseyepatch]

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Description: Getting kinky with the windbreaker boys. I have so many thoughts about these men and I just needed to get them out of my system. Characters: Toma Hiragi, Ren Kaji, Haruka Sakura, Hayato Suo, & Yamato Endo. Word Count: 2.2k Tags: fem!reader, brat taming, praise, somnophilia, edging, mommy kink, dacryphilia, consent non consent, choking, degradation, oral (fem!receiving), penetrative sex, dirty talk.

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a/n: These are more like thirsts than headcannons but oh well. I might expand on some of these eventually and turn them into full fics if I can sit down and commit to it. It the mental illness, innit? Regardless, I hope you enjoyed these little blurbs! Special shout out to @foxyfiction & @to-eden for helping me with the prompts for some of these, you both are amazing. <3

I also have a masterlist now, if you’re interested that could be found : HERE

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Brat Taming

Hiragi had enough of you today, your skirt pulled up high, a constant switch in your hips while on patrol today with the Tamon team. Constantly teasing him, whether it was pulling him into an alley for an impromptu make out session, bending over in front of him letting him catch a glimpse of your already wet panties, or rubbing against his perpetually hard cock as you “just needed to slip past him real quick”. He was patient, tension building throughout the day coming to a fever pitch when you had both made it back to your shared apartment. He was on you in moments, lifting the back of your skirt to lay a harsh lap to you ass. Grabbing a fistful of your hair as he growls in your ear. “ I want you on that bed and I want you completely bare, do you understand?” He releases you hair, watching as you strip for him, climbing on the bed moments after you do.

Grabbing a hold of your cheeks with a rough hand he forces you to look up at him, eyes glazed over with arousal. Squishing your cheeks he props your mouth open, shoving a long digit past your lips. He grins as your mouth instinctively wraps around the digit, pumping the finger in and out of your lips, eyes rolling back as he feels your tongue wrap around the digit. Sucking his teeth as you shoot him a wink as he stuffs a second digit in your mouth. “Such a fucking brat, you know that?” He forces your thighs apart, free hand punctuating his words with a harsh slap to your dripping cunt.

His fingers sliding down, his fist two digits using your saliva that coated them to rub fast smooth circles against the sensitive bud. “Don’t forget your still getting punished baby.” He tsks giving you a sharp toothed grin. “Look at your pretty cunt, clenching around nothing, poor baby.” He coos, leaning down to your ear, lips grazing the shell to whisper. “You’re going to have to come from just my fingers before you can have my cock baby, think you can do that for me, hmm?”

Praise (Receiving)

Kaji had lost his temper once more, today a fight had broken out. One of the members of the opposing gang had harshly grabbed your arm, tugging you against him spitting extremities about the things he plandded to do to you. The words coupled with the fear in your wide eyes had Kaji seeing red. Completely blacking out in a fit of rage, he hated his, he especially hated you seeing him like this. The few times he had lost his temper in front of you, he ran, unable to face you. But not this time, you wouldn’t let him run from you. Grabbing the sleeve of his jacket you were quick to take him back to your apartment, silencing whatever apologies or exasperations with your lips against his.

Walking him backward toward your bedroom you wait for the back of his knees to hit the mattress. Pushing him to sit down as you climb on his lap. Mouths entangling in a heated embrace, clothes being pulled from each others bodies in a rush of passsion. Kaji trails kisses down your exposed body, lips wrapping arount a perked bud taking your nipple into his mouth. You rocked your hips against his, gronaing into the air. Your hands unfaten his pants, and with his help you pull his cock from his pants. You give him a smile, stroking his cheeks, eyes soft with fondness. “You're such a good boy Ren, always so good to me.”

You coo, the praise falling from your lips as you place one more kiss to his lips. Moving to grab him by the base, positioning him at your entrance, the desperate look in his eyes is all the confirmation you need to sink down on his length. You bite your lip, letting out a whimper at the feeling of his thick cock filling you to the brim. You tangle one hand in his hair, pulling lightly on his blonde strands, while the other moves up to his shoulder, nails digging into the skin. Pulling away only far enough to mumble into his lips. “Fuck, Ren.. Feel so good, you fill me up so good baby. I love you so much.”

Somnophillia

You wake feeling something warm between your legs. It isn’t long before your head is thrown back against the pillows you were once sleeping soundly against, voice crying out in pleasure as your boyfriend’s tongue draws slow patterns on your sensitive clit. You look down at him eyes lidded with sleep and now lust. “Haru.. what are you doing?” You mumble, blinking the sleep from your eyes. Between your thighs you can feel his cheeks heat up, a feirce blush on his features. He barely pulls from your cunt, mumbling against your center. “Couldn’t sleep, needed to taste you, ‘m want you so bad.”

He groans, hips rutting into the mattress, desperate for some friction to his aching cock. Any further arguments are silenced by a loud moan erupting from your lips, Sakura licks a fat stripe up your clit brfore reattaching his lips fully to your nub. He eats your cunt with such desperation, as if he needed to conume you to keep air in his lungs. His tongue is soon replaced by the rough pad of his thumb, head ducking lower to slide his tongue inside of your entrance, sliding against the silk walls of your pussy. He groans deep in his throat, the vibrations of the noise only enhancing the pleasure you’re feeling. ”Always taste so fucking good, need more..” He groans, pulling from your center, he slides up your body lips attacking yours with reckless hunger. He slid the material of his boxers down in one swift motion, grabbing himself by the base of his cock, collecting your wetness on the tip of his cock using it to ease himself inside your velvety walls.

He lets out a loud groan as he fully sheaths his cock inside you, head dipping to capture your lips with his own. The kiss is immediately laced with hunger, teeth clashing and tongues dancing in each others mouths. He pulls away, heavy breaths fanning against your lips as he sets a harsh steady pace from the start. “Fuck baby… can’t even sleep without you consuming my thoughts. Need you desperately… constantly.. feel like I’ll lose it if I’m not inside of you.”

Edging/Mommy Kink

You place a delicate kiss to his lips, trailing your kisses down his body until you were situated between his thighs. Looking up at him with hooded eyes from your current position. “You weren't lying baby boy. Look at how hard you are.” You grin, not letting him answer as you gave a few experimental tugs to his cock. Leaning up to lick a fat stripe from his base to his tip, collecting the pre come that had been steadily dripping since you had begun. Pulling away and leaning up once again, you grab his face in your hand, forcing his mouth open before letting your saliva mixed with his precum drip from your mouth to his. Placing a hand over his mouth, you lean down to his ear. “Swallow baby, I want you to taste us.”

You take his shock as an opportunity to lower yourself back down between his legs, swirling your tongue around his sensitive mushroom tip, taking as much as your throat would allow, hollowing your cheeks. Beginning to bob your head up and down on  his cock. Choji tugged at the cloth around his wrists, restraining himself as much as he could to not buck his hips. Failing miserably as his body writhed under yours He cried out as he felt your warm mouth around his cock, tears collecting by the corners of his eyes. Whimpers and cries falling from his lips as he found every ounce of restraint to not let his body betray him. The could in his stomach building once more for what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening. He didn’t want to fuck all of this up and receive punishment even further. “Mommy, please your mouth is so warm… be careful. I dont wanna come.. too soon.”

You grin around him, looking up at him through your lashes, nearly removing yourself from him before plunging back down, taking him until you feel him hit the back of your throat. You do this a few more times before pulling yourself off his cock with a 'pop'. You make your way up his body, getting impatient yourself, feeling your cunt clench around nothing. Straddling his abdomen, right above where he needed you most,  pressing your lips against his in a heated kiss. Desperately trying not to show that you were just as affected by your actions. You grab a fistful of his hair, tugging harshly, effectively separating your lips as you speak against his lips. “Tell mommy what you want baby boy. Go on, use your words I want to hear you.”

Dacryphillia

Each one of your pleas fog his mind with uncontrollable lust. Wram brown irises drowning in it. “So desperate for me already, darling, we havent even begun the main event.” He teases, directly into your ear, as he finally lines the tip of his thick cock with your entrance. Suo had been teasing you for what seemed like hours. Pulling orgasm after orgasm from your overstimulated cunt. Having made you come undone on his fingers and tongue several times, your pussy having felt desperatly empty without his cock filling you. He grins as you whine, his head just barely probing your entrance. “Please, Haya.” You whimper desperate for him to do something, anything, tears blurring your vision as they collected at your lashline.

“Please?” He tiles his head in mocking obliviousness. “Please what princess? Gotta tell me what to do or I cant help you, tell me what is it that you want?” He coos, free hand sliding up your stomach, thumb circling a pert nipple. Grinning he leans down tugging on your earlobe with this teeth, breaths fanning against your ear as he continues to speak. “Want me to fill this pretty pussy up with my cock? Feeling you flutter against me, whimpering out my name from those beautiful lips. Is that what youre asking for my pretty little bunny?”

He grins eyes lithe with mischief as you continue to babble, words coming out in a jumbled mess of pleas and calls of his name. Fat tears stream down your cheeks, desperation for him consuming your entire being. Suo’s hand coming up to caress your cheek. Thumb swiping at the tears that cascaded down your face. “Oh, sweet baby” He purrs, slipping the same thumb past your lips, letting you taste the salty wetness of your tears. “Crying for me already? We’ve barely even started.” He giggles, hips lurching forward, slamming into you to the hilt with one swift movement of his hips. Groaning as your back arches from the bed, eyes rolling back with a scream of his name being forced from your lips. “As much as I’d love to hear you beg for it, ive been waiting for too long for you my princess.~”

Cat and Mouse/CNC

Your breaths come out in heavy pants, your heart racing in your chest, your feet slamming against the grassy terrain as you run as fast as your legs can carry you. The shadow of the figure on your tail looming behind you. You pushed further, weaving in and out of trees to shake your assailant. The dark wooded area was easy to get lost in. You had only paused your running for a moment, attempting to take in your soundings, looking for a route to escape. Attempting to catch your breath, you were sure you had lost him. Just as you were about to turn on your heel and take off once more your eyes shoot wide, feeling fingers of a large hand wrap themselves around your throat. Your attacker using their grip as leverage  to shove you roughly against a tree, the larger figure looms over yours. Tattooed fingers squeezing just enough to make gaining air flow a bit difficult. Lips grazing your ear as he leans down to your height. “Gotcha~”

Endo’s piercing blue eyes lock with yours, leaning down to capture your lips in a heated kiss. Tongue invading your mouth, free hand coming up to cup your dripping cunt. Fingers circling your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. He smirks against your lips as you moan into his mouth. Pulling from you, he quickly removes your soiled panties, running his finger between your soaked slit. Bringing his finger to his lips taking in the way you taste, moaning around his fingers.

“Fuck doll, you taste so fucking good. Already so fucking wet for me.” He uses his thumb to force your mouth open, spitting a glob of saliva between your parted lips. “Go on babydoll, taste yourself.” He chuckles as you instinctively swallow, turning you in his embrace so your bent over. Flipping up your skirt, he leans back to take all of you in, eyes hungrily wracking over your exposed sex. Parting your folds with a thumb, watching as your entrance contracts around nothing a large grin splits across his face as he lands a harsh slap against your ass. “Gotta remind you who this belongs too huh? This cunt is mine princess.”

═══°∴,*⋅✲════〖✰〗════✲⋅*,∴°═══

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! I already have a part two in mind for this, so keep an eye out. Until then, see you later!

[vividxpages]

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ "in the dead of night"･ﾟ✧*: ･ﾟ✧*

pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!Reader

words: 7000

summary: when Jace is attending a late council meeting, two hired assassins take their chance to sneak into your chambers and hold you captive. Taken to the dragon caves below and meant to be slain by your own betrothed’s dragon, you have to trust the bond between Vermax and you is strong enough to escape your captor’s murderous plans.

warnings: soft!reader, fluffy start but HEAVY angst (reader being held captive by two assassins similar to Blood and Cheese), physical violence (slapping, hair pulling), verbal abuse, threats of rape and violence, Vermax being Vermax and also protective of reader, hurt/comfort, shock and crying, Jacaerys being a caring betrothed, Rhaenyra being the best mother in law, aftermath of trauma, healing, hopeful ending

a/n: please mind the warnings for this story, it’s my angstiest so far! Big thanks to @princessvelaryon and @princesschimchim1325 for being awesome and inspiring me to write this!

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

You smiled to yourself as you held two small wooden figures in your hands, a princess and a prince, their hands linked together and small attires made of cotton and wool. When you were younger, you remembered playing with them for hours, creating little scenarios of the prince who might sweep you off your feet someday.

Now, many years later, you had found the love of your life in Prince Jacaerys.

Ever since your own parents had died too young, Jace’s family had welcomed you as if you were one of them by blood, making you a home at Dragonstone and accepting you with open arms as theirs. Perhaps, a huge part of it was because Rhaenyra’s oldest son had been in love with you ever since he had first laid eyes on you, but there was more to it. His mother adored you and you got alone with his siblings and cousins and brought a joy into their house that was much needed in those dark times of war.

This afternoon, you were sitting on the soft fur carpet in one of the big living rooms of the castle, Rhaenyra’s twins peacefully playing with their wooden toys all around you. Earlier, Baela and Rhaena had joined you for a chat and the newest gossip, but you didn’t mind being alone with the kids as well, your own inner child always coming down around their soft souls.

You let out a playful gasp as little Viserys assembled a row of knights on their horses along the imaginary street you had built together. “Are your noble knights going to a tournament, Vis?”

The boy nodded timidly at you, letting one of the horses gallop forward and making you laugh.

Your betrothed Jacaerys leaned against the doorframe and smiled softly as he watched you. Little Aegon had snuggled close to you and you helped Viserys move the toy carriage around the carpet.

You looked up as he pushed himself off the frame, walking towards you with pure adoration in his eyes. “Oh hello. I didn’t hear you enter.” You said, letting your hand be lifted by him so he could press a soft kiss against your knuckles.

Moving to stand and placing Aegon on the ground, he laid a hand on your shoulder, shaking his head. “I didn’t want to interrupt your play. What adventures is my princess going on today? Have my brothers been behaving?”

“They are the sweetest.” You told him in all honesty, your heart melting at the two little blond boys in front of you. Whenever you spent time with Jace’s smaller siblings, you could not help but notice how your heart expanded and spoke to a deep part in you that wished for children of your own someday. “We were playing a carriage ride to a tournament, I believe, but then a dragon escaped and now we have to look for him.”

Jace squatted down for a moment and handed Aegon a rattle shaped like the bell of a sept, which he immediately took with a toothless grin and tried out. You watched your betrothed with a soft heart and thought what a wonderful father he’d make…

“I dream of the day this will be our life someday.” He confessed to you, the corner of his plump lips lifting sadly. “When there is peace in the realm and we have time to take care of our future children together.”

“I wish for nothing else.” You replied softly, your heart blooming with love for him.

For a moment, Jacaerys looked as if he wanted to sit down and join you and his little brothers, but as you knew your hard-working betrothed all too well, he sighed and stood up again, careful not to step on the big skirts draped around you like a blooming flower.

“There will be a late council meeting this evening.” Jacaerys announced to you, his displeased expression betraying him. “Everyone of the council and the dragon keepers will sit together to discuss. I wouldn’t ask you to join us, it will be very boring and entirely unnecessary.”

You chuckled, knowing all too well how different Jace would do many things if his say in the matters of his mother would be of more weight. But at the same time, you were glad, Rhaenyra kept him sheltered and protected with you for now, at Dragonstone where it was the safest place for the future king and his queen.

“Will you come to bed later?” You asked shyly, although it was not uncommon for the prince and you to share a bed before your marriage had even been consummated.

A small and narrow passage connected your room to Jacaerys’ and you had often made use of it, whether you wanted someone to talk to before heading to bed or were in need of his warm embrace before you eventually drifted off into an innocent sleep together. When he was gone or bound to duties, you usually made yourself comfortable in his bed, but perhaps you’d return to your own tonight if the meeting was going to take a while before he’d be released.

Jacaerys smiled softly at you and nodded before he raised your hand towards his lips. “I will. Don’t stay up too late, I’ll be with you as soon as I can, I promise.”

You hummed pleased and let him kiss your knuckles. “I hope it won’t be too long. And don’t take their words to heart too much, Jace. You’re the prince and they’re lucky to have you.”

“It is me who is lucky to have you, my beloved.” He said and watched in delight as you blushed at his appreciation. “My safe haven, my light.”

Jacaerys leaned down, softly cupping your cheek before he gently kissed your lips, your back arching a little to reach him better. Your lips brushed tenderly against one another and you sighed in bliss at his open affections for you.

You smiled at him when you separated, squeezing his hand in yours. “I love you. I’ll see you later.”

“I love you.I’ll do my best to hurry.” He promised, hugging his little toddler brothers as well and softly stroking their hair before he departed. You sighed to yourself, eager to have the hours pass and let the two of you be reunited again as little Aegon presented you a wood dragon, silently asking you to rejoin their play..

“Alright, where were we, my princes?”

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

Being alone in your private chambers had become a rarity since you had been promised to Jacaerys.

You listened to the quietness of the room, the fire cackling in the pit as you sat on your bed and combed out your hair. You had taken a bath after bringing the princes to their nurseries and changed into something comfortable for the night.

The small evidence of Jace’s frequent visits to your room were visible all over the place. A cloak of his was thrown over one of your chairs by the fire and one of his books laid open by your desk. Even his smell still faintly clung to your pillows, a little gift from the last time he had fallen asleep here, not bothering to retreat back to his own chamber under your soft and lingering touches to his hair.

You could not even remember the last time the connecting door between your rooms had been closed.

You let out a small sigh as you sunk into bed, watching the dark outside of your window for a while. The council meeting must’ve been going on for a while now and you tried to read a few pages to keep you awake, not wanting to miss the moment Jace would come to you.

The time went by and your eyelids kept dropping.

But after a while, the door to your chamber opened and a wide smile split your face as you sat up in your bed, ready to welcome Jace back. Your hair fell over your shoulders, the blanket slipping down your body a little, but just a second later, everything in you froze to a stop.

Two men entered your room, their clothes dirty and faces dark as they took you in. These weren’t your guards and as one of them unsheathed a blade from his belt, you opened your mouth to scream.

They were on you in a heartbeat.

One of them drew the blankets off the bed while the other grabbed your hair, dragging you from the mattress and onto the floor, every sound in your throat seizing up and choked off by their sudden display of violence.

You were not a fighter, never had been. You stood no chance as they manhandled you in their middle, the taller one quickly looking over his shoulder as you struggled to no use against their tight grip.

“Look at that.” You heard close to your ear, the deep raspy voice sending shivers down your spine. “The bastard prince’s little bird, right between us. What would your man say now if he could see you like this, huh?”

You whimpered when your head was tugged back, the other gripping your wrists and making quick work of a tight rope around them, scratching over your soft skin and successfully binding you.

“Who are you?” You demanded to know, your voice barely louder than a whisper. You were shaking from head to toe, your body and mind gone into overdrive when they had first laid hands on you.

They shared a grin with each other. “Does it matter? All you have to know is we’re not your fucking maids. And that you will die tonight, princess. Now be a good girl and shut the fuck up.”

You tried to press your heels into the floor, to keep them from stirring you towards the door, but after a moment the tall one simply picked you up and carried you towards the door. Your nails scratched over the man’s back, but it was like he didn’t even feel it, his grip around your legs too tight for you to struggle and free yourself.

“Behave.”

You were set on your feet again, crowded by them against the door. You swallowed hard against the lump in your throat, your eyes flickering between the two of them. “Whoever paid you, their reward is not nearly enough for the misery my family will bring down on you when they find you. I am a princess of Dragonstone and you have no right to-“

They pushed you out of the door, not bothering to listen.

A horrified gasp escaped your lips as you stepped outside your chamber and nearly stumbled over the dead bodies of your two guards, bleeding out and cold on the floor. The sound echoed through the hall and before you knew what was happening, your head was pulled back by your hair and a hard hand slapped you across the face.

Pain exploded in your mind, blinding you for a moment before the sting ebbed away and was replaced with a dull throb in your cheek.

You held the palm of your trembling hand to your throbbing cheek, breathing hard as you recovered from the blow. “You will die for this.” You said oddly calm and collected. It had to be the shock, you could not think clearly, but you knew one thing for sure: “The prince will cut your hands off for laying hand on me.”

The tall one grinned as if it was an empty threat. “We will be long gone once your prince finds you, stupid cunt. And in what state that will be, I still have to decide.” His disgusting hungry gaze crept over your body, barely hidden underneath your thin sleeping gown. You wanted to throw up.

“You will lead us to the place where the dragons are.” The shorter one said. “We know the keepers are all at the meeting and you know ways where no guards keep patrol. And if you dare to scream or run to wake anyone, I’ll cut out your tongue and heart and throw it in front of the bastard prince’s feet.”

You swallowed down bitter tears, your head screaming at you to do something, anything. But your hands were painfully tied and you did not find your voice as you slowly began to walk with them through the castle.

In the past, you have had nightmares like this, terrible visions of you being powerless as hands held you down in the dark, doing horrible things to you. You sometimes had woken up screaming, but Jacaerys had been there for you every time, holding you until the worst of it was over and you slowly were able to calm down in his safe and warm embrace. Now, there was no one, all people living and working at Dragonstone either asleep or summoned by Rhaenyra and Jacaerys for the council meeting. By the time someone had discovered the corpses of your guards in front of your chambers, you’d likely be dead or taken to who knew where.

You walked through your home, shivering against the cool air with only the thin nightdress you wore on you, the dangerous presence of your captors behind your back. You knew Jacaerys would blame himself for leaving you alone and suddenly, a sorrow so consuming filled your chest, you choked on a quiet whimper. You had not even said goodbye…

“Shut the fuck up.” They hissed at you and one of them slung his arm around your waist, your fingers digging into his flesh in protest as cool metal suddenly rested against your ribcage. A dagger. “Be fucking quiet and keep walking.”

Soon, the air began to smell of salt and sea and you heard the distant crashing of the waves against the island. The entrance to the dragon caves came into sight and you turned around to face them.

“Now tell us, girl, where is your precious dragon?”

Your heart sank into the pit of your stomach, but before you could open your mouth for a reply, the other one of them shook his head. “No. Don’t be stupid. The beast will kill us right away if it sees their rider in our clutches. But…the bastard’s dragon. It’s a foul ill-tempered beast, isn’t it? Where is it?”

Vermax.

A protective wave washed through you and for a moment, you regained the little confidence you had before the man had laid his hand on you. “What do you want with the dragon? You are in no state to have a chance at killing him.”

They shared a look, both grinning viciously. One of them stepped up to you and touched your chin with his dirty hand, right where a fresh bruise from his violence bloomed. You tried to flinch away, but he held you close.

“We don’t mean to kill it, flower.” He told you, bloodthirst flickering over his features and making you sick. His knuckles brushed over the cut on your lip and you wanted to gag from disgust. “We’re going to watch as it kills you.”

Your mind was swimming as you led them through the darkness, watching their big shadows looming over your small own. The taller one still held his dagger against your waist and you knew he’d make use of it if he noticed you playing any games. There were wild beasts slumbering in the depths of these caves, but would they be faster at attacking your captors than the knife against your skin?

The hope in your chest thinned the further away you walked with them from where you knew your own dragon slept, but one last shimmer of it remained in you. You knew Vermax and he knew you just as Jacaerys did. You had to hold on to that.

“It’s here.” You announced quietly, your whisper echoing across the cave near the ocean. It was quiet here and you had to squint your eyes to make out the big nest at the end of the cave where a green-scaled dragon slept fitfully.

“Call it.” The smaller one muttered, his eyes fixed on the beast. You winced as the tip of the dagger pressed into your skin, a warning. “We will stand behind you and when it has come out, you will command it to kill you, you hear me? No tricks or I’ll gladly be the one to end your suffering, right after my friend here has had his fun with you, princess.”

You took a deep breath as they retreated into a safe distance.

„Naejot Māzīs, Vermax.“ You commanded shakingly and the sound of your familiar voice, the big pile of green and red in the corner of the cage moved, uncurling himself from his light slumber.

Jacaerys’ dragon blinked at you sleepily, a shudder going through his beautiful scales as he tilted his head to the side questioningly. When he spotted the two men in your company, he tensed, stepping forward and showing himself in his full height.

“Lykirī…“ You lifted your hands, trying to catch Vermax’ eyes again so he’d look at you instead of them.

With a low growl in his throat, he settled, stepping closer to you until his snout almost touched your outstretched hand.

“Say it, girl!” You heard the commanding voice behind you, in a safe distance of the beast that slowly blinked at you, considering. “We’re not going to wait much longer!”

You took a deep breath and looked Vermax in the snake-like eyes.

He met you with a calm stare, tilting his head to the side again, a deep rumble in his chest.

You had to trust in him now. You had to trust in the love Jacaerys and you were sharing and the bond between you and the dragons.

Out of the sudden, a heavy thrown stone hit you in the back and you gasped in pain, stumbling forward and almost slipping in a dirty puddle.

“DO IT!”

Trust in Vermax, just as you trust in your Jace.

“Dracarys.” You whispered finally and closed your eyes.

Vermax surged forward with a furious roar, one sharp claw in the ground, his wing shielding you from the scenery. Nearly pushing you out of the way, he advanced on the men who had threatened you with a snarl and warmth filled the large cave, fire burning low in his green-scaled stomach.

A horrible realization flickered over their faces as the green beast drew closer, their backs hitting the wall behind them as they looked at you one last time. “You fucking cunt-“

Vermax wiped out their miserable existence with one single breath of fire. Heat tore through the cave and you stumbled backwards as the dragon fire burned them and the scent of roasted human flesh reached your nose.

You squeezed your eyes shut and buried your face in your hands as you listened to their screams. Their agony bounced off the stone walls and heat crept down your spine, but Vermax kept you close, the leathery feel of his wing a small comfort against your skin.

Suddenly, silence rang in your ears.

You dared to peek up over the protective curl of Vermax’ wings.

Where your captors had stood, only ashes and bones remained.

Vermax let out a self-satisfied growl, clearly pleased with what he had unleashed on the terrors. He bent down, blinking at you with his sharp eyes as if to make sure you were alright. Tears, both from the shock and gratitude, filled your eyes and you leaned your forehead against his snout, trying to take deep breaths to steady yourself.

You shrunk back as you heard footsteps in the caves, hurried steps running over gravel and through the water puddles, a flame throwing a long shadow over the walls. You felt Vermax tense, his wing drawing itself tighter around you. Any other threat advancing, he’d burn to the ground.

In the next moment, Jacaerys stormed into the chamber, his sword drawn as his other hand held a lit torch. His chest was heaving, sweat gathering at his hairline as he quickly took in the state of the room. He looked like he had run the length of the castle and you knew it likely had been the case.

Vermax snarled without threat, greeting his rider and lifting his wing to present you to your love.

Your eyes met and you let out a shuddering breath.

The sight of you was a thousand daggers to his heart.

Your face was smeared with soot and the blood from your split lip coated your chin, your hair unruly and disheveled from the way they had grabbed and dragged you along. Your silk dress was dirty and you shivered against the cold of the cave as you slung your bruised arms around yourself.

Behind you, Vermax hovered like a protective shadow and waited, willing to serve with Jacaerys now here with you.

As he took a step towards you, his boot made contact with the skulls of the assassins. Two of them, he realized and the rage surging through his veins was all-consuming. He looked down at their bones and wished to go back in time to kill them himself, over and over again until not even these mortal remains stayed behind.

But his own bloodlust vanished as he raced towards you, your own legs unsteady and finally giving out under you just as he reached you.

He fell to the ground with you in his arms, holding you tightly as you clawed your hand in his clothes, his heart breaking for you right underneath your tight grip. It was like any last strength in you had left, leaving you a broken and sobbing mess in his embrace.

“You’re safe, you’re safe…” Jace murmured into your ear, softly swaying you back and forth as you wept, the adrenaline and shock from the situation finally crashing down on you with full force. “Nothing is going to happen to you, I’m here…”

The Queen and the dragon keepers found the prince and his princess just like this.

Jacaerys was kneeling on the ground, the princess dissolved in tears in his arms and the ill-tempered beast that had saved his love curled around them, chortling comfortingly as the prince stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

You had been escorted back to the castle, but you couldn’t say you remembered much from the journey. Your mind had gone into an odd state of survival, the girl from before the attack having retreated into a far corner of your mind.

The guards, now dead because of you, had been carried away in front of your door and you had stopped in the middle of the hallway, not able to go another step as you stared at the spot where maids were now scrubbing the blood from the floor.

��Come on, my dear.” Rhaenyra had gently told you and you tore your eyes away from the scene as your Queen and Jacaerys led you into his chambers instead. The warmth and unique scent of Jace’s quarters – the smell of old parchment and books, mingled with the wax of the candles and the smell of his sheets – enveloped you and you drew the cloak Jace had draped over your shivering form tightly around you.

Now, a little later, you were seated at Jace’s work table and blankly stared at your scraped hands in your lap.

Jacaerys had instantly expressed his dislike for an interrogation at this hour of the night, but you had shaken your head, willing to recount the situation to Rhaenyra as if words could wash away the poison they had brought onto you. Your skin felt coated with it and you feared the stain might never go away again.

Yet, you had told her and Jace what happened, slowly and quietly, and when you were done, Rhaenyra was holding your hand and Jacaerys looked as if he wanted to break something.

“My brave girl.” Rhaenyra murmured and softly cupped your cheek as she looked at the bruises on your face and neck. “You’ve fought enough for tonight, darling. I’ll call the maids and healers and-“

“No.” You cut her off, shivering at the prospect of unfamiliar hands on you, seeing the evidence of what had happened on your naked skin. You swallowed hard, your eyes filling with unshed tears again. “No one else. It’s- it’s alright, I can do it myself, I really can-“

Rhaenyra smiled sadly at you. “You are hurt, my dear.”

“I’m not broken.” You insisted, although you felt like it. You were shattered pieces on the ground.

“And no one says so, dear.”

Jacaerys, sensing you were on the verge of breaking down, knelt down next to your chair and caught your gaze with his. “I can help, if you want.” He offered quietly.

You looked back at him, conflicted. If Jace stayed, there’d come the point where he’d see the damage you had taken and you did not know what troubled you more; him seeing you like this or seeing him as his heart shattered for you.

“Jace.” Rhaenyra looked at him. “Perhaps a woman’s presence at this time is better suited for her. I’ll fetch you later, I promise, but she needs a moment for herself now, alright?”

He was tense, your beloved prince, but after a moment he nodded with a set jaw before he stood and looked at you one more time. “I’ll wait outside.”

You didn’t want to meet his sad expression, so you kept your gaze down as mother and son went to the door, talking in quick and hushed voices before Jace stepped outside and Rhaenyra returned to you.

She leaned down and brushed a little bit of soot from your cheeks, careful not to touch your split lip. “Vermax surely knows how to rain down fire on our enemies, hm?”

A weak smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “He saved me. He knew exactly what was going on the moment I entered and he was intelligent enough to play along until the right moment had come.”

Rhaenyra hummed, offering you a hand to stand up. “And still, they only call my son’s dragon ill-tempered. How does a bath sound? I’m sure you’d like to step into more comfortable clothes, wouldn’t you?”

You nodded, longing for a simple cotton shirt, preferably one of Jace’s that smelled like home and warmth and safety.

Your future mother-in-law went to the big bath next to Jace’s bedroom with you, a steaming bath already having been drawn for you.

When you saw her drawing a stool close to the tub, your eyes widened and you were quick to interject: “I-I can do it myself, Your Grace, there is no need for you to-“

“Please let me help you just as I would help any other child of mine.” She interrupted you kindly and soon after, you gratefully sunk into the bath, your sore muscles relaxing in its warmth.

Rhaenyra helped you tilt your head back and you closed your eyes as warm water flowed over your hair and down your neck, tears of your own silently running down your damp cheeks. Your throat bobbed painfully as you let her work, the Queen’s gentle hands a mother’s comfort as they helped to get rid of the dirt from the caves and a root clinging to your skin.

“I have sent Jace to fetch an ointment for your bruises and cuts.” She told you quietly and you nodded silently, cupping some of your water to rinse off your face, careful not to touch your throbbing lip. “I want you to tell me if I should send him away for the night. You can be honest with me, dear.”

You sniffled, gladly accepting the towel she lent you after helping you out of the bathtub. After a moment, you rasped: “It is not him I am scared of. It’s just…I know it pains him to see me hurt.”

“He hurts because he hasn’t been there for you, my dear.” Rhaenyra explained softly and you sighed to yourself as you slipped into a silken robe, the fabric easy on the big bruise on your back and arms. Underneath, you already wore one of Jace’s long shirts, the fabric more of a dress on you. “If it is one thing I have learned, as someone who loves and is lucky enough to be loved, it’s that healing means accepting the help of others. No one will fault you if you want to be for yourself tonight, but I know Jace will do anything he can to help you recover from this, no matter what that might look like.”

You did not want to be alone.

You feared it, laying down in bed once again when the door could open at any moment and reveal the terrors, although Jacaerys had doubled the amount of guards outside his door, simply so you’d feel safe.

You wanted to feel sheltered and able to move past this with the one you loved more than anything else, the one who had first thought about when your life had been in grave danger.

You needed Jacaerys.

“Jace may come in again.” You said quietly, suppressing the urge to groan with every step. You had not seen it yet, but the pain the stone thrown to your back caused felt like a flare and you were sure the spot was already turning a deep shade of purple.

Rhaenyra led you towards Jace’s bed, seemingly pleased with your decision. “I’ll make my leave then. Sleep in tomorrow, the both of you. You need all the rest you can get.”

“Thank you, Your Grace.” You squeezed her hand in yours, bowing your head in gratitude. “And thank you for helping me.”

She smiled at you one last time, although there was a strain to it, her worry over a sneak attack like this consuming her mind. Tomorrow they’d speak about this in council, but tonight she’d let her son do the rest, his wide eyes meeting hers when she opened the door and let him in.

You turned around to look at him, your damp hair falling over your shoulder and his clothes, a princess despite the cuts and bruises on your skin. Jacaerys slowly walked to you and your heart stung when you noticed his blood-shot eyes and how pale he still was. He was tense all over, yet he softened as he came to a stop in front of you.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked quietly, looking for your honesty and not a false promise towards him.

You let out a shaky breath and leaned into him.

For a moment, you simply stood in front of each other, forehead against forehead and breathing each other in. Hot tears welled up in your shut eyes, his closeness rescuing and suffocating you at once. Jace’s nose touched yours and his soft curls tickled your cheeks and for a second, you thought that everything might be alright again when the morning came.

“My back. My cheek and wrists…” You whispered, your breath tickling his lips. “I know I’ve bathed and changed and I’m safe in your rooms, but…it feels like they’ve put me apart and I’ve been assembled back together wrongly.”

He shook his head, swallowing against his own lump in his throat. “You could never be wrong, my love.”

Your bottom lip wobbled dangerously, only doubling the pain in the cut grazing it. “I’ve been so scared, Jace. When they entered my room- Anything could’ve happened, they could’ve done anything to me-“

You gasped both in relief and sorrow as his arms pulled you against him, the hug both grounding and warm, something you thought you’d lost forever mere hours ago. You were too exhausted to cry once more, but the horror over what else could’ve been done to you shook you to your very core.

“I’m never going to let something like this happen again.” Jace promised you darkly as he tightened his arms around you, soothingly brushing his hand through your hair as you rested the unwounded side of your face against his heart. “You will never have to be afraid again, I promise. I should’ve been there, I should’ve stopped them-“

“You didn’t know they were here.” You reminded him, but you could feel the fury radiating off his body, an all-consuming rage deeply rooted in him. “No one did. No one is to blame except for the ones who sent them, Jace.”

“And they will pay.” You could practically feel the daggers he was glaring at the wall behind you. But just after a moment, you felt his anger deflate as he softly kissed the top of your head and gently lifted your chin so he could look at you. “You’ve been fighting all alone tonight, but I am here now and I want to be of use, beloved. Will you let me help?”

“I don’t want to upset you.” You almost bit your lip before you remembered the pain.

His gaze softened endlessly and he tucked a damp strand of your hair behind your ear. There were lots of tangled emotions inside of him still, but he saw you, this sweet delicate girl he had fallen for ever since the beginning and knew he had to take care of you now. “You could never upset me, my beautiful strong princess.”

The words were mending on your shaken soul and you closed your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before you let him to his work.

“The maester said the salve might be a little cool on the skin.” Jace murmured and you nodded in understanding. “And he gave me ice, scratched from the old side of the island’s cliffs, for your cheek.”

You took the dripping bundle from his hand, sighing as the cold cloth touched your cheek, the swelling subtle so far yet inevitable to strengthen throughout the night. But every bruise and cut on your body was better than not living to see the sun rise in the morning. “I could apply the salve on my own?”

Jace shook his head. “Let me do this for you.”

He walked with you to his bed, helping you sit down as he knelt before you, devotion shimmering in his eyes. You realized that he needed this just as much as you did, to prove himself he was able to take care of you now, even if he had not been there for you then.

He cupped your healthy cheek as you covered the other one with your ice. “Should we start with your back?”

Jace helped you lift the fabric, only so much so he could see where the stone had struck you, a dull bruise blossoming right next to your spine. It was nothing he had not yet seen so far, still you felt self-conscious under his attentive eyes.

You held very still as Jacaerys began to carefully apply the ointment to the bruise, his finger drawing soft and soothing circles over the blue spot. His other hand touched your waist, just barely underneath the fabric of his shirt on you and you closed your eyes as the cooling sensation drew a little pain from you and let it vanish.

“Good?”

“Feels good…” You murmured and tried to crawl into the feeling, the tiny relief washing away a little of the darkness from before. With a small kiss to your nape, he let the shirt fall and cover you again.

Next came your sore wrists. He lifted both of them, seeing the red marks where the tight rope had cut into your skin and swallowing hard. He wanted to unleash Vermax on the dusty bones of your captors again until their remains were annihilated from this earth. Jace softly kissed both of them before he dipped his fingers into the small jar again and repeated his careful motions.

You made a small sound in your throat and he stopped instantly.

“Too hard?”

You shook your head. “My lip…”

He sat down beside you, the mattress dipping underneath his weight and bringing you closer to him. The cut wasn’t pretty, but no cut was and you did not shy away from him as he took in the damage, one of his hands still rubbing circles into your wrist.

You held your breath as his coated thumb touched your bottom lip, his touch light as a feather as the cooling salve instantly mended the throbbing. Your hand reached up to hold his wrist, not ready yet to let him go when his touch felt infinitely good for your aching body. There was nothing sexual about the way you breathed against the pad of his thumb, relishing his care and simply letting it wash over you, and for a while you were simply content like this, Jacaerys remaining close to you as you breathed through the slowly ebbing pain.

“Do you want me to braid your hair for the night?” He asked quietly like he had so many times before.

Your wonderful beloved Jace. You nodded gratefully as he shuffled once more on the bed and sat behind you. Kissing the back of your head and brushing your hair over your shoulders for you, he got to work.

Your body was lulled into relaxation as his fingers combed through your hair, loosely braiding it so you wouldn’t have to wake up with tangles and knots in the morning. His warmth was a comfort against your back and if the vicious bruise hadn’t been there, you would’ve leaned back against him, ready to melt into his tenderness.

“Vermax saw right through them.” You spoke up after a while, your eyelids drooping from time to time from exhaustion as Jace finished up his braid for you. “He didn’t let them see at first, but there was a moment where I knew he was going to protect me, that he knew what was happening.”

“He loves you as if you were his own rider.” Jace mumbled, affection for you and his dragon in his voice. “I am glad he had been there for you when I wasn’t.”

“I want the finest sheep the shepherds can organize for tomorrow.” You looked over your shoulder with determination and Jacaerys frowned at you, a question in his eyes. You welcomed the small sting your lip caused you when its corner lifted up into a weak smile: “I want Vermax to be rewarded for defending his rider’s princess so honorably.”

“And I’d be honored to be the one to select it for you, my princess.” Jace’s face darkened, fury swirling in his brown orbs. “I still wish they would’ve suffered more. They deserved much more than a quick death of fire.”

His revengeful words were nothing against the soft touch with which he doted on you and when he was done and brushed his fingers once more over your hair, your body wanted to sink into his pillows and melt into them.

Jace laid down with you, carefully adjusting his position beside you so he wouldn’t accidently bump into your sore body. You exhaled deeply when your head touched his pillow, smelling so comfortingly of him. You could not bear to lie on your back, so you snuggled into Jace’s bed on your stomach, hugging his pillow and turning your head so you could look at your love.

He was resting on his side, his brown eyes searching for any discomfort you might have. Your eyes flickered over his shoulder, towards the door of his chambers.

“You are safe now, I promise.” Jace whispered and leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to your nose. “There are five guards outside and my sword leans against the bed. I’m here. Nothing bad will ever befall you again, my love, I swear it with my life.”

You gave him a tiny nod and tried to relax, although it was hard to keep the shadows lingering in the corners of the room at bay. You wiggled one of your hands out from under the pillow and found his, tugging him closer until his lean body warmed your side, one of his hands resting securely on your lower back.

“Tomorrow, I want to take a walk to the cliffs.” You whispered, longing for the fresh air and its cleansing effect.

Jacaerys smiled. “Then it will be arranged. Does my princess wish for any company?”

You nodded timidly, his playful undertone distracting you from the dull throb underneath the ointments. “And I want to have a picnic if the sun is out, with all my favorite things.”

“I’ll tell the kitchens then, first thing in the morning. They’ll be happy to please their future queen.”

“And when I’m healed, I want you to kiss me…” Your eyes drooped, the exhaustion from the night overpowering the little anxiety that remained in you.

“Your wish is my command...” Jacaerys mumbled back, his eyes on you as you slowly drifted off into a well-deserved sleep. He had not been entirely honest with you, there were many things he wanted to do.

He watched you sleep beside him, the most innocent sweet being he knew, covered with his warm clothes and bruises on your skin. Jace still held your hand and was not willing to let it go for the rest of the night.

At the soonest time, he’d convene a council meeting and strengthen the security around Dragonstone. He already had caught word of Daemon wreaking havoc on the guard unions patrolling around the castle for not being more attentive, for the princess was one of his favorite people in this family and Jace knew he’d have an ally for his cause.

He’d take his revenge for you.

But for now, he knew you needed him more than ever, and tomorrow he’d do his best to make you happy again. 

He could almost see it in the dark of the room, your eyes closed blissfully against the sunbeams, your hair dancing with the wind as you walked hand in hand as you had done so many times as children. You’d eat ripe peaches and cake and slowly, this incident would move past you until it was only what it was; a shadow in the corner, in the dead of night…

my taglist (open): @princesschimchim1325 @cecestea @jacesvelaryons @princessvelaryon @diannnnsss

[rafey-baby]

sweet treat 5

shy!reader really wants to tell construction worker!rafe how she feels but what if he doesn’t feel the same?  

cw: the L-word, mostly fluff, reader being an overthinker and getting a little jealous, pda

wc: 2.3k 

hi! this is the last part of sweet treat (might write some extras but I make no promises) and just wanted to say how much I appreciate everyone who reads my stuff. the first part was my first proper piece of writing I posted on this account and I was overjoyed by the warm welcome and all the kind comments, asks & reblogs (nothing goes unnoticed by me!) so thank you so so much for being so lovely <33  

hope you enjoy xx 

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It’s been exactly two weeks since she came to terms with the fact that she’s in love with him. She hasn’t been able to sleep all that well and has tried her very best to avoid Rafe, albeit fruitlessly since he insists on driving her home from work every day and on top of that, he often invites himself over to her house or asks for her to stay the night at his; not accepting her excuses about being tired and having to wake up early.   

“Why don’t we just…be tired and wake up early together, then?” His grin is playful when he argues with her reasoning. And how is she meant to refuse that?  

And if all that wasn’t already suffocating her, of course he’s now helping with the renovation of the cafe since her boss wanted to expand the business; make the small coffee shop into a bigger one in hopes of more space for new tables and seats because the amount of clients they got was beginning to be too much for everyone to comfortably enjoy their stay. 

Therefore, she now has to practically work in the same building as him every single day because the renovation work isn’t disturbing the current cafe from running nor decreasing the number of customers with a sweet tooth or a craving for their usual morning coffee from strutting in.   

This wouldn’t be a problem, if Rafe wasn’t walking around all sweaty and dusty, biceps bulging whenever he’d lift wooden planks over his shoulder or carry around different equipment; looking as attractive as ever.  

And with these newfound lovey-dovey feelings trying to break through the surface, she doesn’t know how she’s supposed to stop herself from ogling him or keep her rapid heartbeats to herself whenever he wanders over to chat with her on his breaks.

She tries to act as normal as she can, but she can tell that he’s picking up on her excessive rambling and stuttering, flushed cheeks and anxious fingers fixing her hair every two seconds whenever he’s talking to her.  

She’s certain he can see right through her, knows that she’s hiding something. She can practically see how he wants to bring it up more often than not but seemingly hasn’t found the right way to approach the subject yet and she can sense that she’s running out of time; can’t tolerate lying to him for much longer.   

She’s been thinking this whole thing through over and over, to the point of her head hurting as she bakes Rafe’s favorite lemon raspberry cookies as a distraction and because he’s been working so hard and she wants to surprise him; see the soft smile that makes the whole world glitter whenever he graces her with it.  

She wants to tell him, wants him to know how deeply she feels for him, how much she appreciates him but every time she tries to open her mouth, the words seem to evaporate before they’ve even begun to sprout on her nervous tongue.   

What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if this is all just a casual thing for him and she’s making it into something more than it is? These bleak thoughts turn her mood sour; a pout forming on her lips as she concentrates on topping the flamingo pink icing covering their most popular vanilla cupcakes with fresh blueberries.   

As she’s taking out Rafe’s cookies out the oven, she comes to the conclusion that she has two options; she either tells him she’s in love with him or she doesn’t. If she tells him, there’s a very high possibility of him looking at her with a crease between his brows and words about not wanting for this to be anything serious hitting her against the face.  

And if she doesn’t tell him, then…well she doesn’t really have anything to lose, does she? Except maybe the what ifs haunting her for the rest of eternity.   

She tries to get rid of these tormenting thoughts with a shake of her head as she sets the cookies off to cool down and begins to place the finished cupcakes onto the display counter, trying her hardest to forget about it all.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - -  

Later that day when Rafe is contently munching on the cookies she plated for him and happily distracting her from work, someone approaches the counter; a girl with glossy lips and shiny hair.   

“Hi, could I get a mango matcha latte, please?” Her eyes are as green as grass as she places her order.  

“Of course, would you like it with ice or no ice?”   

“With ice, please,” she answers in a friendly manner.   

“Coming right up,” she gives the girl a polite smile when her payment goes through.   

“You’re working on the renovation?” The girl’s attention then turns towards Rafe, making Y/N’s gaze flicker over to them as she puts blended mango into the bottom of a tall glass.  

“Yeah, the cafe’s gon’ be twice as big as it’s now,” his gravelly voice drawls, putting the half-eaten baked good down.   

“That’s so cool, I’ve always wondered how construction workers are so strong. Do you go to the gym a lot?” A saccharine voice reaches Y/N’s ears, making her brows furrow as she’s measuring the right amount of matcha powder and trying to appear nonchalant.   

“Uh, yeah, yeah. Also think my workdays sometimes count as workouts,” he scratches the back of his head as she lets out a giggle. It wasn’t that funny, Y/N thinks with a roll of her eyes.   

“Hey, I was actually wondering if maybe you’d wanna hang out sometime? Could give you my number?”   

Something muddy swirls in her stomach at the girl’s straightforward question. She doesn’t appreciate the fact that she’s blatantly hitting on Rafe right in front of her. Even if she’s well aware that they’re not together and the girl probably assumed they were just friends, which they are.  

However, she can’t prevent herself from turning grumpy from the mere notion of him being interested in someone else. After all, the girl is stunning and she wouldn’t really blame him if he wanted to at least consider her offer.  

“Nah, I’m actually not available right now,” he offers an apologetic smile when the girl’s shoulders slump.   

“No? That’s a shame. Well, let me know when that changes?” She gives him a flirty smile that makes Y/N quietly scoff as she pours the milk into the mix.  

“It’s not changing anytime soon,” she mutters under her breath, making both of them turn their heads towards her.   

“Sorry?” The girl asks, muted jade settling on her suddenly tense form. Fuck, did she really say that out loud?  

“Oh, um— just that…here’s your drink,” she peeps out, feeling Rafe’s eyes burning into the side of her face as she sticks a paper straw into the beverage; the ice cubes clinking together when she hands it out to her.   

“Right, thanks,” she says looking over to Rafe once more, seemingly expecting him to give her an answer of his own.  

“Uh…yeah, what she said. Not changing anytime soon,” his grin is wide, making the girl’s cheeks flush as she hurriedly leaves.  

And when it’s just the two of them again, she flits her eyes down, busying herself with a wooden container of tea bags she’s trying to organize, not wanting to face him.  

“What was, uh…what was that about?” His tone is teasing, an annoying smirk playing along his features.  

“Nothing,” she quickly dismisses, avoiding his gaze.  

“Nothing? You’re telling me you weren’t just really fucking jealous two seconds ago?”  

“N—no,” she can’t even convince herself with the pitiful denial.  

“Don’t worry, I’m all yours, alright?” He chuckles as he stuffs the rest of the cookie down his maw.  

“How did you know I was craving these, by the way?” He asks around the mouthful as she tries to brush aside the sudden tingle in her ribcage and the blush dusting over her cheeks.   

- - - - - - - - - - - - -  

A few days later when her shift is coming to an end, her other coworker already beginning to take orders and telling her she’s free to go, she drags Rafe behind the counter and practically forces him to taste test a new recipe she’s tried out; a walnut carrot cake with lime buttercream. 

“Wow, this is…amazing. The lime gives this fresh sourness to the frosting, it’s so good,” his voice is muffled by his chewing and her heart warms in response to his detailed commentary, never one to shy away from showering her in compliments.  

“You think so? I actually added the lime just cause I know how much you like citrus fruits so, I’m really glad you like it,” she beams up at him.  

“Yeah? Made this just for me, huh? Can I ask why I’m getting this special treatment all of a sudden?” His tone is playful, tongue licking over his bottom lip to clean up the bit of icing lingering there.   

“Well, cause I love you and—” she blurts out and then her entire body tenses; mouth hanging open in shock and wide eyes slowly moving to look at him, trying to verify whether he heard it or not. Of course he did. She wasn’t exactly quiet now, was she?   

“You…you love me?” His brows raise in surprise.  

“Uh…I— I didn’t mean to…I mean, you probably don’t feel the same so doesn’t really matter. Just— um...just forget I said that. I don’t know why I—”   

“What are you talking about? You think I spend most of my time with you cause I…what? Dislike you? You can be so silly sometimes, you know?” He scoffs, setting the golden fork down on the porcelain plate.  

She stays silent. 

“What I’m saying is that I’m obsessed with you. I mean, you’re even in my fucking dreams, right? But listen, love has always been a little…tricky for me to grasp onto cause my relationship with my family has always been…complicated? But if me wanting to spend every second of my day with you means I love you too then, shit, maybe I do. But I need some time before I can really say that shit, you get that?” His words are honest and raw and she thinks her rattling heart is going to beat out of her chest.  

“Oh. I— um…yeah, of course. Take all the time you need,” she finally manages out.  

“Hey, c’mere,” he says before he’s practically dragging her dumbfounded form into his embrace; beefy arms pushing her flush against his chest with a steadying grip on her waist.   

“I mean, we’re basically already dating at this point, no? Wasn’t sure how to make it official without freaking you out but since you love me, I think you’re all good, yeah?” 

She croons something incoherent in response.  

“So, wanna be my little girlfriend or what?” He asks into her hair.  

“I— of course I do,” she mumbles against his shirt.   

“Yeah?”   

“Mhm,” She hums before he tucks an index finger under her chin and raises her face to look up at him; thumb toying with her bottom lip before he’s leaning down and smearing a sloppy kiss against her mouth.   

“Shit, you’re so cute. Just wanna swallow you whole sometimes,” he murmurs with a soft smile tugging at his lips and blue hydrangeas twinkling with something syrupy in them.   

“I love you,” she mumbles, almost inaudible; words still too tender to consciously say out loud.   

“Say it again,” he practically demands.  

“Um…I love you,” her voice is nearly a whisper.  

“What was that? Think you can say it a little louder?” He teases.   

“Rafe, stop…you’re embarrassing me,” she whines, cheeks coloring over with a strawberry hue.   

“No, I’m not. Just wanna hear you say it,” his smirk is all big and smug and it makes her huff.  

“ILOVEYOU, okay?” The words mesh together like fluffy clouds in the sky and her volume is louder than he’s probably ever heard it, a couple of curious heads turn to look at them, the lively chatter around them quieting down some.   

“Yeah? You guys heard that? She loves me!” He’s nearly shouting, looking around with a stupid grin on his face, making her flush and hide behind her hands as a few customers cheerfully titter in entertainment.  

“Congrats, dude!” Someone even yells.   

“Oh my god, Rafe. Why would you do that?” Her mortified eyes widen as she crouches down; trying to find shelter from behind the pale-yellow counter. “I’m never leaving my house again,” she complains with a glare.   

He doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by the whole thing, simply chuckling with dimples denting his cheeks; the light-hearted sound making her stomach flutter despite the humiliation crawling up her spine and making her want to vanish into the cracks on the floorboards.   

“Of course you are. I’m your boyfriend now which means I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow, yeah?” He lifts her up with a grip on her waist, pulling her flush against him as his devious fingertips slip underneath the hem of her shirt, smoothing over her bare stomach and making her let out a squeak.  

Then he’s grasping her jaw in one hand and pressing his mouth on hers once again; her protests withering away like a dead rose when he slips his tongue past her lips, dragging out an involuntary whimper from her.   

She pulls away, hiding her face in his chest when she can feel multiple pairs of eyes staring at them.  

“Rafe, can we just go already?” She pleads with her voice small before he’s guiding her out of the coffee shop with a big palm resting on her back, calming her down some.   

And despite the little scene he just caused, she thinks she might just be the happiest girl on the island as he helps her climb into his truck with a honeyed kiss warming the apple of her cheek. 

[grison-in-space]

Has Biden actually done anything at all? There's evidence going around and I think it's compelling, the alternate to voting is instead doing actual social work and participating in protests and organizing political action, which is a good idea i think

1) Yes. Inarguably this has been the most effective progressive domestic administration since I have been alive, and I'm in my thirties. What in the fuck are you talking about? It's not perfect, but it's better than we've seen in fifty years: Obama tried, but Democratic Congressional organization was just not yet used to working with a completely obstructionist GOP Congress in the wake of the tea party.

Even in terms of foreign policy, this is also pretty much as good as US involvement gets. Sorry. Our foreign policy has been shaped by monsters for decades, and that's even without dealing with our huge and active branch of Christian doom cultists. There ain't a candidate in the world that could stop the entire accumulated momentum of geopolitics with a snap of the finger, and I'm not really willing to pretend that Biden is particularly notable for not managing to fix Israel/Palestine relations.

2) In your own words, anon, what precisely does organizing political action entail without participating in the political process? Do you think that abstaining from the part of the gig where you, the citizen, get to say which official gets the job somehow makes your opinions matter more to your elected public officials? Have you ever organized to get so much as a municipal one-time library project budget expanded? Are you perhaps only skilled at political argument with people who already agree with you on the Internet?

What is your leverage, and could it reasonably be described as "extortion" or "blackmail" or "political corruption?" Because those are pretty much the only things on the table that can work more effectively to drive an elected official than a disciplined coalition of political allies (who can be purchased with, you guessed it, votes) or a reliable bloc of voter support. Your vote matters less than the ones you bring with you, sure. Do you think that not voting yourself somehow helps people organize to drive more votes? Have you perhaps replaced your complex reasoning skills with a rapidly dying jellyfish?

3) Holy passive vagueness, Batman! "Evidence is going around." What a masterpiece of a sentence! How it suggests everything while providing nothing! What evidence? Who collected it? Who is talking about the evidence "going around?" Who is listening? How many of them are there? What did they think before? The more I think, the more questions I have, and damn if they ain't predisposing me to be even less charitable.

Like, this is so catastrophically poorly supported that I have to confess that I not only believe this is probably an ask in bad faith (i.e. by someone who is expecting to piss me off or otherwise engage with me adversarially, probably spammed to a whole host of blogs at once with no expectation of response) but I actively hope that it is. The alternative is to have to grapple with the reality that some people are so uncomfortable with the responsibility of moral agency that they're willing to release useful levers of legal and social power just so that they never do anything problematic with that power. Much better, of course, to wash one's hands of anything that might have the stink of responsibility clinging to it. Might fall from the membership of the Elect if you actually get yourself all muddy by doing things, I reckon.

I don't even believe that voting is the only lever we have when it comes to our elected officials or that votes are necessary to secure change, and I am certainly not talking about the presidential ticket alone when I talk voting. What I do believe is two things: one, that voting is a potential lever of power on the emergent chaos of the society in which we live. And two, that anyone telling me to leave a lever of power on the ground without a damn good reason is either incompetent, malicious, or both.

[jaewritesfic]

Everlasting Trio Nobody Knows AU DP x DC Part 4

Part 3

(Tim POV! This is a long one 😅)

 Tim almost has it. He's so close to cracking this file he can fucking taste it. He's been fighting this thing for two weeks. It's the most incomprehensible and infuriating code he's ever faced off against, which is fitting considering who gave it to them.

The engineer. THEIR engineer. The engineer they didn't ask for and Tim still isn't sure how they got, and the single biggest mystery in Tim's fucking life right now.

See, a significant amount of Bat gadgets at this point are Tim's brainchildren. He imagines them, he designs them, he workshops and tests them.

A few months ago, he'd had a pouch on his utility belt full of experimental pellets meant for slowing down fleeing vehicles. They were designed to break when run over and the compound inside would expand into durable, sticky foam that would ensnare tires.

He'd tested them in the cave.

He had not been prepared to take one hit to that side and have to frantically divest himself of that pouch before he became Gotham's latest foam based cryptid. 

His family had laughed themselves silly at him even as he broke off in pursuit of the drug runners he'd been fighting.

When Tim had doubled back expecting a mess to clean up and pellets to rework? It had been gone. All of it. The foam, the pellets, the pouch of his utility belt.

A serious problem, because who knows who got their hands on that?

Then it had shown back up.

That is to say, Gordon had called them because he found a pouch with a note labeled ‘for Red Robin’ sitting on the stand of the Bat Signal and didn't dare touch it.

After making sure it wasn't a bomb or some kind of biological weapon, Tim had opened the pouch - his own belt pouch - and found pellets. New pellets. Different pellets.

The note just read, “As funny as that was to watch, I fixed them for you. No more premature sploogage on the job. :3 P.S. here's a recipe for solution to dissolve future intentional discharges.”

They'd been right, too. The new pellets were tested (in case THEY were a bomb or biological weapon) and they'd been just strong enough to safely transport but still break when under the pressure of tires. Even the foam was more effective, and the spray Tim synthesized from that stupid recipe had worked like a dream.

What. The fuck.

This person not only improved his design and came up with a dissolution agent from scratch in days, they'd been watching without him knowing and made off with the original pellets without anyone noticing.

This was either a rogue in the making or someone they wanted on their side, and either way they needed to be found.

So Tim had done the obvious.

He'd put together a lockbox of money for the product they'd been given, loaded it with no less than ten (10) bat trackers and a note thanking their mysterious benefactor and requesting to meet up. He'd exploded a foam pellet on a rooftop and left the box on it in the hopes they'd notice and find it, then hung around far enough to not be seen and close enough to beat feet as soon as the trackers started moving. 

They did not start moving. They all went offline simultaneously. 

Tim has never moved so fast in his life, and yet by the time he got to the rooftop there was a pile of foam and nothing else. Not even a trace of whoever took the lockbox.

The next day, there was a ping of one (1) tracker that led them to a note thanking him for the money, refusing to meet, and asking if they'd considered certain improvements to their grapples with schematics for said designs.

Thus started the most bizarre and infuriating chase through notes, money, helpful designs and disappearing trackers Tim has ever been a part of.

Last time, the engineer had left them a USB stick and a note claiming that since they really wanted to know about him so bad, they could have the information on the USB if they could crack the encryption on the zip file inside.

Obviously they screened heavily for viruses or backdoors, but long story short Tim has been trying to crack the fucking thing for two weeks and refuses to let Oracle help. It's personal. It's a matter of pride. 

He could swear the code itself has actively been sabotaging his attempts to hack it, which is, you know. Impossible. 

Ping!

Tim blinks, looking over at the map on another monitor of the Bat computer. 

“Motherfucker-”

He taps into Duke’s comms. This is the first time this has ever happened during the day shift, he wasn't expecting it.

“Signal! I need you on the roof of the warehouse on the corner of Fifth and Everest - a tracker just came online.”

Another thing that infuriates Tim. You can't just turn Bat trackers on and off. They're activated, and then they either stay active or they're destroyed. They can't be turned off and then reactivated.

And fucking yet.

Duke groans, but his own tracker starts making its way in that direction.

“Dude. He's gonna be long gone by the time I get there. He always is.”

“He can't run from me forever,” Tim insists. “I'm almost in this damn file, and I am going to find him and dangle him off a roof from his ankles for giving us this runaround, so help me God.”

“Uh huh,” Duke deadpans. “Sure you are. I'm almost there, and- oh look! A note. What a surprise!”

Tim hears Duke touch down on the rooftop, eyes on the code on his screen while his brother clears his throat and reads aloud.

“Ahem- ‘Good morning, sunshine!’ - guess that's me - ‘I hear some bats and birds have been murdering tires at an alarming rate with the way they drive their bikes-’”

Tim freezes. He's not listening anymore.

“Signal.”

“‘- and that just can't be good for business. Nobody wants a bald tire ruining a chase. So boy do I have the thing for you-”

“Signal!”

“What?”

“I got it.”

“Huh? Got what?”

“I cracked his file. I got it.”

Tim is staring, wide eyed and full of a mixture of elation and trepidation at the contents of the zip file. It's a single text file titled, ‘Wow! You did it!’

“Oh, shit? Well? What's in it?”

Tim swallows, mouse hovering over the file. He takes a deep breath, then double clicks.

The file opens.

Tim blinks.

“Red Robin? What's in it?”

Tim scrolls slowly down, disbelief and horror dawning across his face. “Oh my God.”

“What? Come on, man, talk to me.”

Tim scrolls further.

“Oh. My God.”

“Red? Red Robin, you're scaring me, man.”

Tim puts his face in his hands. Voice muffled, he responds.

“Duke.”

“...Red? You okay?”

“No.”

“No?”

“It's the entire Bee Movie script.”

Silence reigns for a solid five seconds before Duke breaks and descends into raucous, hysterical laughter.

Even muffled by his own hands, Tim's scream of rage scares the bats in the cave into a tizzy.

Part 5

Masterpost

[batboyblog]

Senate Elections 2024!

At the Start of the year I made a post about the US Senate elections this year. However a lot has changed since then (not just that) So I thought I'd make a new version.

How successful a President Kamala Harris is able to be will come down to who controls congress. A Republican House or Senate could frustrate many of the important agenda items Harris wants to get done. Also the Senate is key to appointing Judges, right now many America's rights are being decided in the courts where Trump and Republican appointed Judges are consistently ruling against trans rights, voting rights, abortion rights etc. Any hope of a smooth pipe line of Harris judges depends on the Senate. Senate Control hangs by a knife's edge, there are 6 soft blue seats we have to hold onto, two swing seats Dems are defending, and two soft red seats we can pick up, you can make all the difference!

If you don't live in one of the states below but want to help, you can Donate to the DSCC or sign up to phone bank with the Democrats

Arizona

Ruben Gallego (Hold)

Winning Arizona will be key to the outcome of the 2024 Presidential election. Congressman Ruben Gallego was a leader in the effort to replace Democrat turned Independent Senator Sinema with a real Democrat. Gallego was raised by a single mother, went to Harvard, and is a Marine combat vet. First elected to the Arizona State House in 2010 he advocated for immigrant rights. He was elected to Congress in 2014. Since coming to Congress Gallego has been a progressive voice, gaining attention for blunt attacks on the Trump administration. Republicans nominated around former TV host and conspiracy theorist Kari Lake. Lake rose to become a Republican star by supporting conspiracy theories about the 2020 election and Covid. Lake ran for Arizona Governor in 2022 and after losing to Democrat Katie Hobbs she refused to concede and still maintains she won and is the rightful Governor of Arizona. Lake has called Democrats "Demonic", totally opposes abortion in all cases, and is the self proclaimed "Trump candidate". If Gallego is elected not only will he be a reliable Democratic vote and Progressive vote in the Senate, he'd be the first Hispanic to represent Arizona in the Senate, ever. If you live in Arizona please make sure you vote, but more if you have any time between now and November, volunteer to help Gallego! and if you don't live there you can still give.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Florida

Debbie Mucarsel-Powell (Flip)

Florida's current Republican senator, Rick Scott, has spent his first term in Congress being one of the most extreme Republicans. Scott has pushed to defund education, roll back Social Security and Medicare, attacked trans rights, and wants to ban Abortion in all cases. Rick Scott is the wealthiest member of Congress and also was in involved in the largest case of Medicare fraud in US history. Scott challenged Mitch McConnell for the leadership of the Senate GOP getting support from extremists like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, and JD Vance, and now is running to replace McConnell. Scott won in 2018 with less than 10,000 votes. The Democrat is former Congresswoman Debbie Mucarsel-Powell. When she was elected to Congress in 2018 she became the first South American born immigrant and first person of Ecuadorian heritage to be elected to Congress. In Congress Mucarsel-Powell was a member of the Progressive caucus, she fought to expand medicare, and secured $200 million for Everglades restoration. After a narrow defeat in 2020 Mucarsel-Powell joined the gun control advocacy group Giffords to fight for gun control a personal issue for her. If you're in Florida please make sure you vote, and volunteer to help remove one of the most extreme Senators. Everyone else give what you can.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE

Maryland

Angela Alsobrooks (Hold)

Maryland is normally an easy Democratic win but two-term Republican former Governor Larry Hogan announced he was running, turning what should be an easy race for Democrats into a real fight. Hogan is trying to sell himself as a Trump septic moderate, but he's endorsed by Trump, JD Vance, and Mitch McConnell. Hogan spent his final year as Governor frustrating Democratic efforts to protect abortion, legalize marijuana, and take serious action on climate change. In the Senate he'll be a vote in the pocket of Republican leadership. The Democrat is Angela Alsobrooks, the executive of Prince George's County. As County Executive Alsobrooks got high marks for her response to Covid. She's worked to expand pre-K to all students in the county, as well expanding health care access including mental health access. As a candidate for Senate Alsobrooks has been a strong supporter of Abortion rights, pushing for more action on gun violence, and has been a strong supporter of LGBT rights her whole political life. After Vice-President Harris left the Senate there were no black women represented in the upper house. Together with Delaware's Lisa Blunt Rochester Alsobrooks could make history, if both are elected this year it'll be the first time ever that two black women have served at the same time in the US Senate. If you're in Maryland make sure to get out to vote, to volunteer as much as you're able, and everyone give whatever you can to protect abortion rights and support progressive black women!

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Michigan

Elissa Slotkin (Hold)

Michigan is a critical 2024 swing state. Congresswoman Elissa Slotkin is running to replace retiring Senator Debbie Stabenow. Slotkin worked for the CIA, the State Department, and the Department of Defense rising to be an Assistant Secretary of Defense under President Obama. She is fluent in Arabic and Swahili. First elected to Congress in 2018 Slotkin won and has been re-elected repeatedly to represent a swing district, becoming the first Democrat elected there since 1998. In Congress Slotkin has supported gun control, and ending money in politics. Her national security experience made her an important voice pushing for the first impeachment of Trump in 2019. She gained national attention for holding open town halls on her choice to vote to impeach Trump facing down Republican protesters. In her run for Senate Slotkin has continued to stress her support for gun legislation, ending money in politics and stresses protecting the right to choose. Republicans have consolidated around former Congressman Mike Rogers. Rogers retired to Florida after his time in the House only moving back last year to run for Senate. During his time in Congress Rogers tried twice to ban the abortion pill mifepristone. Rogers is endorsed by Trump and controversial former Detroit Police Chief James Craig. If you're in Michigan vote to protect the right to choose and stop a Trump Republican, and make sure to volunteer as much as you can, and every give what you can to help win this key swing state.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Montana

Jon Tester (Re-elect)

Normally deep red Montana represents one of the hardest Senate seats for Democrats to hang onto. Jon Tester is the only Democrat to hold statewide office or represent Montana in Congress. Elected narrowly in 2006 Tester has beaten the odds time and time again and is trying again. In his time in the Senate Tester has been a consistent voice for small farmers and local businesses against big corporations and mega companies. Tester has fought against corruption and for openness, and is one of the most effective members of Congress consistently having the most bills past into law of any member of Congress. Republicans have embraced an ultra wealthy former CEO, Tim Sheehy as their nominee to unseat Tester. Sheehy was caught lying about being shot in Afghanistan as a Navy SEAL, when he in fact accidentally shot himself at Glacier National Park in Montana. Past his embarrassing war wound story, Sheehy is an ultra rich CEO who has spent 2 million of his own money on the race so far. Sheehy has been endorsed by Trump, and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Sheehy wants to ban all abortion, repeal Obamacare, and remove any limits on gun ownership, despite having shot himself. If you can only donate to two races, this and Ohio are the most important, if you can only donate to one? flip a coin. Everyone in Montana make sure you get out to vote and just as important volunteer, there will be no Presidential or Governor or any other campaign to help Tester along its all on him, and everyone give what you can.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Nevada

Jacky Rosen (Re-elect)

Nevada is a critical swing state in the 2024 election. Jacky Rosen first came to Congress flipping a Red House seat in 2016 and then unseating a Republican Senator in 2018. Since coming to Congress Rosen has been a champion for turning Nevada into a clean energy leader. She's also has helped pass gun control legislation and is a fierce advocate the right to choose. Republicans have nominated Army veteran and conservative influencer Sam Brown to run against Rosen. Brown unsuccessfully ran in a Republican primary for the Texas State House in 2014, and for the Republican nomination for US Senate in Nevada in 2022. Now with the endorsement of Donald Trump Brown finally managed to win a primary. Sam Brown is the only Republican candidate Trump mentioned in his 92 minute convention speech at the RNC. Brown wants to roll back Nevada's Green energy progress and boost fossil fuels, he also wants to roll back any and all restrictions on guns. If you're in Nevada make sure to get out and vote, and volunteer to keep this key Senate seat out of the hands of a Trump Republican. Everyone else give what you can.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Ohio

Sherrod Brown (Re-elect)

Ohio is one of the hardest senate seats for Democrats to defend this year. Senator Sherrod Brown has been the only statewide elected Democrat in Ohio since 2011. First elected to Congress in 1992 and to the Senate in 2006 Brown has defied the odds by being a popular Progressive in an ever more Red state. Brown consistently ranks along side Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren as one of the most left wing Senators. From his first days in Congress Brown refused the Congressional health plan, repeatedly introducing single payer health care bills going back to the 1990s. Brown has been a proud and consistent ally of Unions, particularly the UAW, and tough on banks and big business. Republicans have nominated used car salesman and crypto enthusiast Bernie Moreno. Moreno is a weirdo, he accused LGBT activists of a "radical agenda of indoctrination" and then got caught looking for "men for 1-on-1 sex" on AdultFriendFinder. Moreno supports a federal abortion ban, has been sued by former employees for wage thief and discrimination, and wants to end birth right citizenship. Moreno has been endorsed by Turning Point USA, Donald Trump Jr., Vivek Ramaswamy, Kari Lake, Ted Cruz, JD Vance, and of course Donald Trump. If you're in Ohio make sure you get out to vote, and volunteer to support a great Senator. Everyone outside of Ohio give what you can, if you can only donate to two campaigns this and Montana need it the most, if you can only give to one, flip a coin.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Pennsylvania

Bob Casey (Re-elect)

Pennsylvania is a key swing state in the 2024 Presidential election. Bob Casey was first elected to the Senate in 2006 defeating right wing extremist Rick Santorum by the largest margin in state history. Starting his career as a moderate to conservative Democrat Casey has become a strong advocate for gun control since 2012 voting for every gun control measure to reach the Senate. Casey also made strong opposition to the Trump administration a cornerstone of time in office. While personally pro-life, Casey has endorsed the right to choose and voted codify abortion rights. Casey has been a leading critic of corporate greed during the inflation and authored a bill to ban shrinkflation. Republicans have nominated multi-millionaire former CEO and Bush administration official David McCormick. McCormick served in the Treasury under George W. Bush, his wife worked at the NSC under Trump. He lived in Westport, Connecticut as the CEO of an investment management firm, till he decided he wanted to be a US Senator in 2022 and he moved to Pennsylvania. He lost the 2022 GOP primary to Dr. Oz and is giving another go in 2024. McCormick is endorsed by George W. Bush, Mitch McConnell, Rick Santorum, Karl Rove, Doug Mastriano, Jim Jordan, and of course Donald Trump. If you're in Pennsylvania make sure you get out to vote, and to volunteer to keep Pennsylvania blue. Everyone else give what you can.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Texas

Colin Allred (Flip)

Texas Senator Ted Cruz might be the most hated man in politics. Since his election in 2012 Cruz has been on a single minded mission to be totally unlikeable. Shutting down the government under President Obama, endorsing Trump after Trump insulted his wife, supporting Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election, fleeing his state to go on vacation in Mexico after an ice storm and power outage (and abandoning his dog), blaming the Uvalde school shooting on video games, yes Ted Cruz really has done it all. Cruz is one of the most right wing members of the Senate and a loud Trump supporter. Last election in 2018 Cruz barely hung onto his seat and Democrats are hoping with 6 more years of radicalism Texans are ready for change. Democrats have nominated Congressman Colin Allred. Allred is a former professional footballer, played Linebacker for the Tennessee Titans. After football Allred went to law school, and got a job with the Obama Administration. In 2018 he won an upset victory unseating an 11 term Republican in a district that had been Republican since 1968. In Congress Allred fought for gun reform, to keep down the price of proscription drugs, and invest in American infrastructure. In his run for Senate he's standing up for the right to choose against one of the most radically anti-abortion Republicans in the country. If you're in Texas make sure you vote and volunteer to give Ted Cruz the boot, and everyone give what you can to get Blue Texas.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Wisconsin

Tammy Baldwin (Re-elect)

Wisconsin is a critical swing state in the 2024 Presidential election. Senator Tammy Baldwin is a historic trailblazer, when she was first elected to Congress in 1998 she was the first woman to ever represent Wisconsin in Congress, the first open Lesbian elected to Congress, and the first openly gay non-incumbent to be elected to Congress. She co-founded the Congressional LGBTQ+ Equality Caucus. When she was elected to the US Senate in 2012 she was the first and is still the only openly gay person ever elected to the Senate. Past her advocacy for LGBT rights Baldwin has been a progressive her whole time in Congress endorsing single-payer health care, and being a strong voice for abortion rights. Republicans are supporting a California bank owner and weirdo named Eric Hovde. Strange mustache owner Hovde has attacked trans kids, flip flopped on abortion (totally against, now open to some abortion), and insulted farmers as "not hardworking" and thats why the retirement age should be 72. If you're in Wisconsin make sure to vote and volunteer to protect a progressive trailblazer and stop a California weirdo banker. Everyone else give what you can.

VOTE VOLUNTEER DONATE SHOP

Where ever you live in the US there is a critical race happening, so please check out ways to Volunteer and where ever you live there are options to phone bank text bank write letters or postcards to voters (postcards 2) but like I said wherever you are there are local candidates who need your help, and if you live in any of these critical states please give your time and energy.

[crystaltoa]

I’m having a Bad Brain Week (month?) so it’s been really amazing seeing the responses on the ADHD teapot post. People are saying it’s helped them conceptualise/explain executive function and dysfunction, which is what I’d hoped for, as well as people expanding on the teapot metaphor to include things like medication and comorbid conditions.

But I was taken aback by people telling me they think that the teapot is beautiful. The rough, lumpy misshapen thing with gaudy colours and a lid that doesn’t quite fit.

The thing I worried people would make fun of if they saw it.

The thing I wished I could remake into something more conventionally aesthetically pleasing.

The thing I wanted to share despite being kind of embarrassed and self-conscious about.

….The thing that represents my brain? Represents an aspect of myself I find very hard to like?

Beautiful?

…I think it might very well be the nicest compliment I have ever received.

Thank you.