#// thinks they're much more enjoyable when watching them with someone else

[ooooo-mcyt]

I usually don't have all that many character headcanons of the domestic non-angsty variety, but for some reason I have, like, a Lot of specifically cooking themed Life Series headcanons (in the hypothetical scenario where they eat meals like normal human beings and not based on minecraft game mechanics), so I'm just going to leave them here:

Grian cooks. All the time. He makes every meal for his team, three meals a day, every day. It's Grian's thing, and he takes pride in it. Grian will cook if someone is lagging behind in their performance, he'll cook if they don't seem like they're feeling well, he'll cook before a fight, he'll cook before a long day of resource gathering, he'll cook when he's bored. If one of his teammates is gone for the day they'll come back to food left on the table for them. If one of his teammates is working on something he'll leave snacks in their workspaces or by their beds. When Grian has to join a pre existing team late in the series cooking will be one of his go-to methods for being 'useful' enough to earn his place with them. When Grian hasn't seen someone in a while he'll ask if they've been eating and then cook them something regardless. When Grian wants to win someone over or apologize for something it will be through gifts of little snacks or desserts. I just imagine Grian as someone who cooks for people and is proud of it. Ironically, I also imagine that when he doesn't have a team (on the rare occasions he doesn't) he won't eat very much because cooking would be more of a social/affection and personal pride thing for him than something he does because he particularly enjoys the act, so there doesn't feel like much point when he's alone (and i just don't think taking care of himself would be a thought, because grian has never been too concerned with his own general health).

I think Skizz is very similar to Grian in that he enjoys cooking for people, and is probably the 'designated cook' in pretty much all his teams. Unlike Grian, though, I think Skizz would really like the act of cooking itself and find it fun. Don't get me wrong, I imagine it can often still be a social thing and a show of affection for Skizz too, because Skizz is the kind of person who would be very happy to be able to see his teammates happy and well fed because of him. But I think enjoyment would also be a big motivator for Skizz and he'd still have fun with cooking for himself if he were alone.

I truly have to imagine Bdubs as being comically bad at cooking. I just have this mental image of Last Life Etho puppy eyesing Bdubs into cooking for him and then Bdubs just happily plopping down a block of nondescript inedible burnt mush right out of a kids cartoon storyboard trying to convey the concept of 'bad food' through design alone. And Bdubs just expectantly watches Etho who (without taking off the mask) unconvincingly mimes eating it and then tosses it out the window while Bdubs goes ":D" so glad Etho enjoys his cooking and already planning tomorrows meal. Bdubs does the same thing with every team he has to varying responses.

Jimmy started off Third Life not being able to cook at all, but has become quite good over time. I imagine Scott did all their cooking in the early parts of Third Life, but Jimmy's not the type to be content with letting someone else do labor for him with no reciprocation, so I think he very quickly started trying to cook too, literally corralling Scott out of the kitchen and not taking no for an answer. I think Scott would have playfully complained about Jimmy insisting on cooking when his food was literally inedible, but Jimmy is very stubborn, and Scott knows how to go with the flow with these things, so they'd probably end up taking turns with meals. I imagine Jimmy kept up the habit through the following seasons (when grian wasn't there to stake full claim over the kitchen and push everyone else out in last life and limited life) and has become quite decent at cooking, which always seems to surprise other players.

Tango would be a disaster in the kitchen. Like. I'm picturing fires and explosions (we can chalk it up to him being a fire entity if that makes it better). Usually Tango is just outright banned from the kitchen, but Double Life is an exception. Jimmy and Tango strike me as the type of people to cook together as a cute couple thing. Jimmy does most of their cooking at first until Tango jokes about how he can't cook and Jimmy's like "Well wanna try helping anyways?" and it just becomes something they do together with…minimal..fires and explosions, because Jimmy wouldn't mind, and cooking is fun, especially when you're doing it with someone you love.

I also feel like Pearl is someone who'd find cooking fun. She wouldn't necessarily take it upon herself to cook all the time, but she'd enjoy it when she does cook. It would start being a hobby in Last Life, though I think her enjoyment would take a massive dip during Double Life. I don't see Double Life Pearl as someone who really had the will to do many things for fun, or even to take care of herself, really. I imagine Pearl didn't put much effort into cooking in Double Life, understandably, and didn't find it fun anymore. Although I think she still probably kept up healthy eating habits solely because I imagine Tilly would remind Pearl to eat and Pearl would never purposefully worry Tilly. After Double Life, once Pearl started slowly feeling better and felt like she had real friends again, I think cooking slowly would have become a hobby Pearl was actually able to enjoy again and do for more than practical reasons, which is a habit I think has continued through Wild Life.

I'm gonna put Scott and Cleo together because I imagine they have very similar views on cooking and they've teamed multiple times so I can put them together here. I feel like both Scott and Cleo see cooking as a chore. They're both responsible people who are fully capable of cooking and do so with minimal complaint because it's a necessity. But neither of them really find it enjoyable, I'd say, and would rather not. If doordash existed in the life series, they would have gotten it frequently in Double Life, but alas, they are in a death game lacking most modern technology and are cursed to cook for themselves. They had an alternating day schedule, because it's more convenient than both of them cooking for themselves every night and also even if they don't like cooking admittedly I think Scott and Cleo just like doing nice things for each other regardless. When not with each other, I think Cleo is the kind of person who'd usually go "Okay I'm cooking for myself, you guys figure yourselves out" with their teams because they don't want to be stuck cooking for other people all the time and also don't entirely trust other people to cook for them (partially because some of the people she's teamed with are just bad cooks, partially because cleo has some trust issues generally and is prone to suspicions over their teammates potentially betraying her). Although I think Etho and Bdubs specifically could both probably puppy dog eye Cleo into giving them food sometimes, and while cooking for other people isn't a habit of hers, if Cleo really wants to be nice or suspects someone they care about won't eat enough on their own, she might make an extra plate of food for them. Scott, on the other hand, I think would prefer for cooking to be split evenly in his teams (and he certainly wouldn't complain if someone wants to cook for him all the time), but is also very much willing to do the majority of the cooking if he has a partner who can't or won't cook. Scott is flexible and very willing to compromise for team cohesion and morale, even if he gets the worse bargain. Fortunately, though, Scott has never teamed with someone who takes advantage of that. Scott started off trying to do all the cooking for him and Jimmy automatically, but Jimmy is a good husband- and a stubborn one- who shut that down rapidly with his active desire to contribute (also as a side note, i feel like scott literally did not eat a single thing in between jimmy's death and his own in third life). Cleo, Pearl, Gem, and Impulse were all more than happy to split cooking duties with him too. I don't imagine Scott and Martyn spent many meals together, so Scott was mostly just feeding himself in Limited Life, which was fine. Scott probably occasionally made Martyn something while he was cooking for himself if Martyn was around, just out of love, but it wasn't something Martyn really asked him to do.

Gem is also on team "Cooking is a chore that I don't really enjoy but I'm an adult so I am fully capable of feeding myself without complaining". It's not something that's especially fun for Gem, but I think she split cooking duty with Scott and Impulse without much complaint in Secret Life. That said, I do think she maybe convinced Joel (who i imagine is surprisingly good at cooking) to do most of the cooking during Wild Life, and Gem has probably also coaxed a few meals out of Pearl when things are okay/good between them. Gem is willing to contribute but she also won't complain if people are willing to be convinced to do things for her.

Impulse is my final "Cooking is a boring chore, but I'm an adult" guy who is a decent but not super impressive cook. Usually I think Impulse defaults to just cooking for himself, unless he has teammates who like cooking and want to cook for him, or who want to alternate cooking for the whole group. I see Impulse as fairly flexible in this regard.

Joel is a shockingly good cook and also enjoys cooking. Joel was pretty much completely alone for all of Third Life, and had very inconsistent companionship during Last Life, so it was pretty much a necessity to figure out how to cook for himself at least. And, well, cooking can be very calming, which I think is good for someone like Joel who is very high intensity all the time. I think this quickly turned into Joel cooking for other people too once he started getting more solid companionship. I mean, he's not necessarily the type to frequently do things for others just to be nice, but Etho's good at the puppy eyes act, and I think Joel quickly realized as well that it's an ego boost when people enjoy his cooking, which is always a bonus with Joel, so I imagine he's made a habit of cooking for his teammates.

Etho has never cooked a single meal in his life (/hj) and he doesn't have to. If his teammates won't feed him, Etho can go around to his other allies (because he always has alliances outside his main team, etho keeps his options open) until someone invites him in for dinner. Wandering the server stopping by with various allies looking pathetic is a huge staple of Etho in the Life Series, this man is absolutely a chronic dinner guest.

Scar isn't someone I think cooks consistently, or very well. Not that he can't cook at all, necessarily. I don't think he's very good, but he can make passable simple meals. It just slips his mind, really. I imagine Scar as someone who'll often honestly outright forget to eat for long periods of time if he's left to cook for himself until something reminds him he hasn't eaten in a while. Often Scar's meal plans consist of either being fed by an ally (grian cooks, as we've established) or using his patented Scar charm to convince random people to give their food to him when it does occur to him that he ought to eat. That being said, I do think Scar enjoys baking specifically. He's not good at remembering to cook for sustenance, but if he's bored or wants to do something nice for someone, he'll bake, and he does quite enjoy it (often the product is mediocre, but the actual taste of the food is not the point of baking for scar).

Martyn is another guy who I think forgets to eat. By no means is Martyn an 'all work' type of guy, and he'll stop to goof around plenty, but I feel like he categorizes self care acts specifically as a waste of his time. Stopping to cook and eat just feels like Too Much when there are so many other things to do. He cooks simple mediocre meals when he gets too hungry and snatches little bits of food from people when he's at their bases, just to be a nuisance, and that's about it. Luckily Martyn often has someone there to get him to eat. Ren in specific is really good at making sure Martyn has meals, he'll just make Martyn a plate of whatever he's having and Martyn's not the type to complain about free food with friends (he doesn't have anything against eating, it's just the taking time out of his day to make himself food when alone that's an issue with martyn). I also imagine Skizz cooked for the whole Red Army toward the end of Third Life. Martyn probably didn't have too much issue in Last Life either. Grian Cooks, and probably had the whole Southlands supplied, plus Lizzie served snacks at Shadow Alliance meetings. In Double Life Cleo probably would have made sure Martyn ate enough too, because while they might not be on great terms, Martyn's poor self care effects people outside of him while he's linked to Cleo. Limited Life was hard, I think, because he was really into Winning that season, and for the first time ever, Ren wasn't in the series at all. That said, I imagine Scott made enough food for Martyn whenever martyn was home around meal times, and I have a very vivid image of The Clockers frequently slipping Martyn food on his way out after visits (to varying degrees of appreciation. cleo hands him an actual plate of food occasionally, which is..nice. scar passes out slightly burnt cookies, which aren't as filling or well made, but they're yummy enough and something is better than nothing. and uh..martyn isn't sure what to do with the stuff bdubs hands him). In Secret Life Jimmy, who again, likes cooking and is decent at it, is probably more than happy to make enough for Martyn while he's alive, though I imagine the later episodes after Jimmy dies is the worst Martyn gets with his 'doesnt think about taking care of himself'.

Ren is admittedly a mediocre cook. His food isn't always bad, but it's also not usually great. That being said, I think he makes up for it in enthusiasm. I think Ren likes cooking for his friends, and I think he gets incredibly excited to eat his food. And, I mean, nobody turns down free food, especially when Ren's excitement is generally so contagious, even if it's sometimes slightly burned.

Mumbo can't cook. Luckily everyone very much wants to feed Mumbo. Grian absolutely made sure Mumbo had plenty to eat during Last Life and Wild Life, and Mumbo was on a team with multiple people who like to cook in Secret Life (plus grian probably showed up with food for mumbo a few times in secret life anyways because he really does adore mumbo). Mumbo honestly doesn't even have to ask, so far I feel like people have just been happy to feed him.

Nobody has ever seen BigB eat. He does eat, obviously. It's just that people don't see it. He'll sit down for a meal with someone and only take bites exactly in the .4 seconds it takes them to blink in very exaggerated cartoon fashion. I don't know, I just wanted to capture BigB's confusion strats because he's literally so funny.

Lizzie can cook, technically, but she does not want to. Luckily Lizzie is very very good at convincing people to cook her meals for her. Usually Joel. But sometimes Ren in early Last Life and also Jimmy in Wild Life. Lizzie does bake, though. Cookies, cakes, brownies, etc. Lizzie likes having sweet things to present at meetings and parties and traps.

[yanderes-galore]

Can I please request a yandere alphabet for Dabi from BNHA?

I can try, sure! I just hope I can write Dabi properly like I have in the past—

Yandere Alphabet - Dabi

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Marking/Branding, Blood, Violence, Rough affection, Trauma, Arson/Burning people, Murder, Unhealthy one-sided relationship, Sadism, Stalking, Kidnapping, Isolation, Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Dabi isn't the best when it comes to love and affection. He never really got it in his childhood and now, with a broken mental state, most likely doesn't have a healthy view on it. To him, loving his obsession may be the same as playing with a toy.

While not incapable of feelings, He certainly doesn't vent them well. His form of love is showing the power he has, of being rough and showing that you have no one but him. It's a mix between wanting you to recognize him and also him wanting to feel in control.

Which usually results in rough kissing, bruising holds, biting, and maybe even burning if it means he gets to keep you to himself.

Safe to say Dabi gets intense as he feels it gets the point across.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Knowing Dabi, messy. He is fully willing to cause carnage towards innocents if it benefits him in some way. If someone was close to you, like family, friends, a lover...

They'll quickly be burned by Dabi if he feels they're in the way of him having you.

He might leave them alone if you distance yourself... but no promises.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

I can see Dabi mocking his obsession to see their reaction. You could be a hero, a civilian, maybe even a villain or something else entirely.... Dabi may just find enjoyment in messing with you.

In terms of how you'd be treated after being abducted... Dabi's "love" is rough. He likes to mark his obsession and break them down. He wants them to be his own personal toy and pet.

In a twisted way, he feels this gives him the attention he craves from you. Forcing it is the method he's found works best.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Definitely. Dabi is a yandere that enjoys control. He likes to manipulate you, scare you, and make you completely reliant on him.

He always gets a say on what you do.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Dabi isn't vulnerable. If he was, it's no doubt during a breakdown, and I feel he'd be more volatile than anything. He likes to feel in control with you.

But who knows, maybe he'll be soft if he's pushed enough. That's a big 'maybe' though.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused. For the most part he's just amused since he knows you're weaker than him. He'll toy with you, let you get it all out of your system.

Although, if you get too unruly, he'll remind you who you belong to.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Yes and he might enjoy it. Normally most yanderes find this distressing or annoying. Dabi, on the other hand, finds amusement in it.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When it comes to Dabi, there's a few options. But the worst one? Well, that's hard to pick. Dabi would burn people in front of you, he would burn you to brand you...

He tends to like using fire, so I wouldn't be surprised if one day he catches you trying to escape...

Then just decides to give you a burn scar or two to remind you that you're his.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

I don't think he thinks much of the future in general. He prefers just focusing on what's going on in front of him. Currently that happens to be you being his.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes and he definitely lashes out. He isn't really one to hide his anger even if he's usually aloof or stoic. One can always tell when he's in a mood.

Not much can quell his anger except you. Even then... You'll need to put in some work if you plan to have some innocents spared from his flames.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Stoic, Aloof, Focused, Crude, Volatile, Manipulative, Possessive, Sadistic, Observing, Controlling... Honestly, it could just keep going on.

There's some small moments where he's merciful which is good.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He doesn't court in the traditional sense. He probably gets curious, ends up stalking you, and even gets irritated he's so fixated on you. You're distracting... but enjoyable.

He could watch you for months, maybe even manufacture meetings to meet you. Although, after that he'll make his move.

Then you'll be all his, locked away, just for him to toy with.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really. He seems to "care" more but it isn't much different.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Burning. He likes to give you burns to show you that you did something wrong by defying him. The alternative is him harming other people if they got on his nerves enough...

But it's all up to you and your behavior, right?

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Similar answer to D, all of them if it means he gets your attention.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

I imagine he has moderate patience. He can be patient, but he has a limit.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Depends on how attached. Although, I can see him snapping if someone took you away from him. The only way you're leaving him is with help.

He'll burn them before they get too close.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No and he definitely would not let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Definitely his childhood trauma that decided to morph into a twisted desire for attention.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He'll either mock you or leave you be. He isn't sure how to deal with this kind of thing properly.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He still technically cares about you, he just can't properly show it, which leads to your unhealthy relationship. This does not justify his decisions at all, of course.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

I assume getting him distracted by a hero. But good luck with that.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Unfortunately, yes he would.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not a worship yandere, but since he likes to be controlling, he would go to great lengths to keep you in his grasp.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Months I feel is accurate. Maybe closer to a year.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

[linnienin]

⁓⁕🍷 🌸 V e n u s ⁕ a n d ⁕ h o w ⁕ y o u ⁕ c h i l l 🌸 🍷⁕⁓

Disclaimer: Take what resonates. I'm not a professional astrologer, i just am an avid researcher and i use my personal experience when writing my posts (Also, pls, don't copy my work, i spend lot of time on it, thanks)

Ahhh Venus, the planet of love. We use it to talk about our relationships and misadventures in our love life. But it also is the planet of feminine energy, enjoyment, relaxation and indulgence. How do you chill using your Venusian energy? Let's find out looking at your Venus's sign and degree

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⁕ Aries / 1-13-25 degrees : *aggresively flying on the couch* play TV, *loud setting on*, watch the tv for 1 minute, gets bored, *roll off the couch*, goes to the kitchen, sees people, start a little chase (Jason Momoa meme entered the caption) 👀👐. After annoying people for a bit, do a little workout, tries to lift a 700 kg cause they *confident*, fail, they still confident, opt for the 0.5 kg, now they happy 😊💪. Dance lover. Enjoy drinking energy drinks. Not really a sipp-er, more of a chugg-er lmao. Carbs are their heaven, they cannot have enough (cause they move a lot, they need the energyy). When laying on the sofa need to put their head on someone else's shoulder or legs or head to feel safe and receive the physical contact they really crave. Enjoy taking short cold showers. Like playing chess (they're good at strategizing and know when to attack and they're bold about it). Cut their hair as a relaxing activity (until they have no hair left to cut lol), likes dyeing them too, preferabily with bolder colours.

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⁕ Taurus / 2-14-26 degrees: The yawn-er. They're MASTER at chilling. They chill doing everything, i'm not kidding, are they at home, are they at work? They be chilling allll the time. Lovers of the sofa, bed, and others soft big surfaces. Chill by taking their time doing everything, they be starting cooking at 9 a.m. to serve a meal at 1 p.m. ✨Sloth with grace✨. Quality over quantity. Enjoy passing time doing nothing...literally. They be like fixating on a thing and looking at it for an hour straight. Mad control of their focus. Meditating without realizing It. Probably sip chamomile. They like to think time doesn't exist, they got all the time in the world (until they wake up one day, look into the mirror and realize they forgot to shave their mustache for all this time). Hella romantic, enjoy picking up flowers, endless walks in nature, veery slowly, they be stopping every 2x3 to admire a little bug passing by.

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⁕ Gemini / 3-15-27 degrees: Tea time with their personalities. Lmao, no but they literally chill by checking in with their thoughts and their ideas. Loves listening to podcasts and documentaries. Multitasking hobbies. Yup, i have no clue how they even relax by doing 1738283 things at a time but it's a way to shut down their thoughts for a while. Yeah, i know, i just told you they chill by thinking too, but sometimes it becomes too much and they have to switch the brain off. Relax by painting their nails. Get experimental with makeup. Write fanfics but leave them unfinished 👀. Admire their pretty handwriting. Enjoy reading and talking about gossip a looot, too much hehe. Like to play games that require a broad knowledge on everything (ex Trivia). Thinking about doing stuff but actually not doing it lmfao, they just love to think about soo many ideas, that is a way to relax, but then they don't even write them down and poof, they're gone and they can't remember them and they get mad about it :(

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⁕ Cancer / 4-16-28 degrees : Cuddling with their pillow 24/7 (cause deep down they feel alone... 🥺). Play animal crossing. Imagine their future family, even tho they're actually stuck in the past lol. Most likely to binge watch series for a whole day and get emotional about it because they get too attached to the characters. If they could they'd never leave the house...ever lmao, total homebodies. Relaxing by spending time alone or with very closed ones, friends/family. Probably likes to collect plushies, funko pops, or mini cute figures of their favourite fictional characters ✨. Cooking and baking can be a relaxing activity to them, especially if they do it for their family or their guests. Have 'grandma's hobbies'... knitting/crocheting for example lol. Enjoy so much making photo albums, and even more looking at them from time to time. Love going to the sea, early mornings walking barefoot on the sand and admiring the immense ocean and the sun rising, they're fans of little details and very romantic/sweet scenarios. They enjoy being helpful to others, so they'll probably ask people if they can do something for them (especially if they see people struggling doing something, they'll gladly volounteer to offer their help).

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⁕ Leo / 5-17-29 degrees: Stars wannabe. Intensely crying in front of the mirror portraying a desperate girl that has been cheated on, then recompose themselves and admire how good they just were pffft. Put on glasses even at home to feel extra, hit the door while walking cause they can't see a thing, get on the floor purposely, decides to play the blind character, gets up, * sudden dramatic enhancement of the other senses*. Dancing with the starssss. No seriosuly, they should apply, but as the professional dancer cause they so good! (and well they're not stars.... yet 👀). Like the other 2 fire venuses they enjoy moving their body so workouts are very appreciated, but leos especially loove hiit workouts, go build that cooore. Lovers of loong passionate and romantic dramas, they wanna feel all the emotions and they stay loyal to a specific series so they wish it could go on forevahh (hello..."Beautiful" lmao). ✨ Randomly transform their home in a runway show. Start walking like a model to feel themselves ✨ List all the things they can do and skills they acquired to feel good about themselves, then they list all the things they wanna work towards to use that self esteem boost to enhance their motivation and work towards their future goals.

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⁕ Virgo / 6-18 degrees : Killing the chilling. No seriosuly, these people seem like they can't 100% chill properly, and some of them may take 'something' to feel completely detached and lost from reality for a bit... 👀 They chill by making plans. Always trying to find things to do and learn to always get better. Working on themselves is their favourite project. Scanning the room in bed instead of chilling, seeing if there's something they need to adjust or clean. Overthinking the heck out of their lives...wait weren't you supposed to chill? Nevermind 🙈. Roasting others...in their minds hehe, they won't let others see how much they enjoy analizing their mistakes. 'Lemme give you advice on this thing' , others: uhm... ok but chilllll. And you ask Virgo venuses whyy they continue to give advices even when people don't listen to them. Well... saying 'I told you' is more satifying than hearing 'i don't care' 😘 (underlying validation issues). Well...i mean, they could chill while crafting, i give you this, it's probably the only time where they get near the definition of chilling...but hey hold on, cause soon enough they gonna find out details about how they're not perfect at what they do so kill the chill again and let the procrastination beginnn (wait... is procrastination's Virgo's way of chilling?)

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⁕ Libra / 7-19 degrees: They wanna experience the finest things in life. They go to that fancy restaurant, get that fancy dress, buy those fancy flowers... they wanna feel cuddled by life and specifically... lifestyle. They need to feel they value by surroundings themselves with valuable things. That's why they chill by going shopping or talking to new people, because where they see value in, they get value from. It's all about feeling good about themselves. Have a sweet tooth (but enjoy eating overall, it's like they enjoy the experience of taste, they're not really picky ultimately). Can splurge on personal care, lots of tools for facials or expensive skincare (cause after eating sugar they need to mantain the perfect skin lol). They work a lot on the mantainance of the self. That's why they have a good eye for fashion and aesthetics, because they have been researching and analizing everything that's out there to understand what's better for them, but they still haven't found out their true style due to their indecisive nature 😂. Plus let's admit it, they like to change often and renew themselves to maintain that 'interesting persona' 👀

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Scorpio / 8-20 degrees : Drowning their nose in personality tests. Seriously, when these people wanna chill, all they got on their mind is how to understand that mind even more. They're detectives of their own psyche. Lovers of shadow work. Let all those intense questions unfold! Obsessive researchers. They find a topic they like, they delve deep into it until they've found enough to feel satisfied and jump on another theme to obsess themselves over. Probably watching a lot of documentaries on criminals and unresolved cases trying to find the final answer themselves. Masters at playing Cluedo. Read everybodies's minds in every single setting, it makes them relaxed by feeling in control of the room's energies, and yeah... even during lunch between family members lmao. Need plenty of alone time. They're secretly training to become wizards/witches 👀. Probably like to sip pomegranate juice or any other juicy and thick flavoured drink. Sometimes they forget to even eat because of how invested theyre in their researches lol. I know you're already attractive as hell, but y'all take care of your bodyyy

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Sagittarius / 9-21 degrees : The boy/girl scout. Those people HAVE to move, they can't stay still or they'll start to stress out. They love a good trip somewhere new, visiting places abroad, taking that bus/train and not knowing where it'll take them (they get lost easily lmfao but they don't mind it, it's part of the thrilling experience). Documentaries lovers: can't go out? Let them wander with their minds. Like to change activities often as they get bored quickly. Enjoy trying to eat different types of food from different cultures. They like to go shopping a lot, to have little souvenirs of all the places they've been to (can tend to overspend depending on other placements in the chart). The one who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Can love to pertake in volounteering activities, especially if they require them to sail to another country, they enjoy being helpful to other people in need (if underdeveloped can have hero complex). Probably enjoy playing on the Wii in competitive games, they're always up for a competition, even for the slightest thing, like "who can finish up this bottle of water first?? Ready? Start!" (they can announce little challenges like this veeery randomly and everyone will follow their lead, it's crazy haha)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Capricorn / 10-22 degrees : Counting their money. Sorting their bills. Sooo relaxing right, especially when the money in your bank account keep groowingg 👀 (they probably watch cash envelope stuffing videos + budgeting on YT). Relax by doing the same routine every day, they can do it without even thinking, and that to them is relieving. They enjoy the adulting process, so actually...going to work can feel like chilling to them lol, they like to feel a sense of responsibility, it makes them feel motivated to always grow, and having a sense of order and stability, that's what makes them feel relaxed and safe. Constantly reading self-help books. Probably sipping their wine while chilling or an expensive drink or a concentrated drink (blueberry juice peraphs). They like high quality items, so they usually shop designer clothes/accessories, they love those labels lol. They love the sofa, don't ask me why lol, most people love the bed, capricorn venuses love the sofa, periodt (can it be because the space is restricted and Cap being ruled by Saturn, planet of restrictions... well, could be).

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Aquarius / 11-23 degrees : The videogamer. Have way too many hobbies that have nothing in common. Wanna splurge on those headphones too? You already have the bunny ears ones, the cat ears ones, the led ones, guyzzz you have a whole collection of them lmao. Are probably into reading about the unknown mysteries of the universe. Conspiracy theories lovers (they just love when they can confuse others people's minds with all their absurdities). The ones who find excitement in daring to do what everyone else don't want to do. Collectors of technology stuff, yup, they still have the gameboyy 🥺. Unpredictable af but they enjoy being this way so people can always question them and think of them as interesting. Introverted people that need to recharge by being alone. Probably Webtoons and manga lovers. Enjoy pertaking in protest marches, feeling part of the crowd (sense of belonging) and feeling they can contribute to a greater cause. They feel the need to do something crazy once in a while, so if you see them bunjee jumping randomly, or trying others 'dangerous' activities don't be surprised (pls, be careful, and don't try anything illegal....understood?👀...pfft, i already know you're gonna roll your eyes, and think, here we go, another sheep that is trying to tell me what to do lol)

⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕⁓⁕

⁕ Pisces / 12-24 degrees : Do you think thinking about "what ifs" is relaxing?? Y'allll pleaseee, i know the feeling is good when you imagine your perfect reality...but...you literally take it as a hobby and do it way too much...to your own detriment 😭. They looove watching romance movies and dramas, it's their bread and butter (to give food to those daydreams right?🙃). Play music ALL day and get lost in their world, and then suddenly it's time to go to bed and they realize they lost another day to daydreaming, now they got to the nightdreaming phase of the day lol 😂😭. Loves taking baths, the contact with water feels truly healing to them, they could stay in the water 24/7. Can be extremely good at painting or drawing, or singing (and other artistic activities too), and relax by doing these activities. Just asking, but are y'all ok with the low blood pressure?😢(also curious, do you tend to have low blood pressure?). Can relax but lose themselves watching the phone,especially social medias. Until they realize they're literally watching and living an illusion, they think they live by watching everyone else's lives and connect with them through the screen, but they're not living their own life by going out there, and experiencing the world as main characters, not just extras of their own lives.

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Congrats! You've reached the end! ✨

Hope you enjoyed this post, always rememer that we are not just one placement, so if you didn't resonate, that's ok, i'd love to know your feedback in both cases (if you did or did not resonate), it is always very appreciated 🥰

Wish you a wonderful day! 🍷 Yours, Linnie 🌸

[deaddovedecadence]

It's me again. I also forgot to ask about the first sex of polyamorous bacest. I mean, if it's not part of a first date or a first official date, maybe they were in a polyamores relationship before doing it in a more classic way/showing themselves to the world or something. I remember you wrote that Cassandra is not very interested in sex (on the spectrum of asexuality). Was she the last person to perform a horizontal tango with anyone?

I don't really think that there is this big first moment when it comes to sex, like i think that it slowly evolves differently with everyone else. Jason and Cass are both demisexual so there is something to be said there.

It sort of starts with Dick and Damian. Like maybe you find them fucking or one of them is fucking you and the other walks in. Dick and Damian are so close that to them it is just makes sense to fuck you together, Dick's crooning voice in your ear like he's never done anything wrong even though he's the most manipulative of all of them.

He's so sweet to you as Damian fucks you, tells you how pretty you look, eyes rolled back in your head, nearly crying from how good it feels. Damian wants you to feel good, wants it to be enjoyable for you so he pays special attention to see what gives you pleasure. \

I want to say tim is next but honestly I think that the bats try and keep you two seperated until they can get a list of your kinks and preferences because Tim can go hard sometimes so I'll come back to him.

I will then say that Duke is next honestly. I'm a big believer that because of all the hell that Duke goes through during the day, they like sex to be gentle. Duke wants darling to feel good at all times and is extra careful not to manipulate them during sex because to them, sex is sacred.

They might manipulate darling in the aftermath or use sex as a bargaining technique but during sex itself, Duke is always gentle and kind to darling. Duke is also a switch so they're happy for darling to be in charge as long as they don't get too big for their britches.

Cassandra isn't really that interested in sex generally but she does like chasing things down. For her it's just fun and to watch Darling run for her is one of the few things that really turns her on. Cassandra is definitely a stone top so she doesn't really want anything in return (if you're wondering how this works with her brothers, she pegs all of them except Damian who's almost always a top)

Jason is the most vanilla of all the siblings and really just wants darling to be happy. He's not interested in really anything but Shibari and that's only because it soothes his mind to tie the knots and be in charge. He's so strong that there's not really a need to restrain darling and tbh I feel like his first time was with Dick during his red hood days.

Tim is the kinkiest out of the polycule. He's into so much different stuff that it only makes sense for someone (probably duke) to watch and make sure that everyone is having a good time. Honestly I'm certain that Tim wants darling to have a good time but he's just really intense as a person tbh .

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Father figure slender to the reader???

Tyyyyy <3

I've written so many Dad Slender posts with the reader (I made a huge post of them at one point but I couldn't find it this morning >:( sorry for that) so this just random dad Slender HCs, and I hope you enjoy <3

Incredibly involved parent in your life. Slender has a shit relationship with his dad, so he wants to make sure he can be a good dad for you. He always asks about your interests and checks in on your schooling or work. I think I said in a different Dad Slender post that he likes to have a cup of tea/coffee/whatever you'd prefer with you every day so the two of you can just sit down and talk every day, about life, about stress, about anything going on that you'd like to. He can't remember the last time he had a decent conversation with his own father, so it brings him so much joy to be able to speak to you every day. He understands some days you might not be up to it, and that's okay. He just wants to be as close to you as he can as a parent to make sure you have a good relationship. Bonus days sometimes occur when his mom or one of his brothers will stop by and join in, and those are your favorite days because they always spill tea about Slender to you to try and embarrass him, and it always works. Those are always your favorite days, and much to his chagrin, Slender is very aware of that fact.

He's the type of dad to be nervous when you start dating. He's not gonna threaten your partner when you introduce them to him for the first time (everyone else in the mansion does a good enough job at that) but he does fret and worry over if they're a good person that will treat you right. He would probably have the "What are your intentions with my child" talk with them and try and feel out their personality from that, but ultimately he does trust you to make good decisions for yourself. If your partner ends up being a bad choice, he will step in if necessary and comfort and help you in any way that he can, with lots of hugs and desserts and comforting conversations. I feel like when you experience your first break up he curls up with you on the couch with big bowls of ice cream and your favorite movies just like you would with a best friend, with a box of tissues by his side and lots of love. He's really great at comforting you and helping you feel better. If you end up dating someone in the mansion, everyone else doubles up on the threats of said creep better treat you right, but Slender almost relaxes a bit more. He trusts them to know to treat you right (otherwise Slender might just have to teach them a very, very intensive lesson). He definitely has his top picks in the mansion and he'd be happy if you ended up dating them.

Loves cooking with you. He has a lot of family recipes, and it would bring him so much joy to be able to teach them to you. He's incredibly patient with you, and a wonderful teacher, so it's a very enjoyable experience for both of you. He also gets super excited if you want to try making something new and you ask him to help you with it. He'll accompany you to the store and help you pick out ingredients, teaching you the best brands for each thing, and how to pick out the best produce. This is corny, but he totally has matching aprons to wear with you whenever you're cooking anything, and if you need it he enjoys helping to tie it for you because you'll always be his little one no matter how old you get. He always offers advice for anything if you need it, and I think he likes doing things beside you so you can watch and learn at the same time. If you need a whole onion chopped, for instance, he places two cutting boards side by side and gives you half to chop while he takes the other so you can both work on it together and you can watch what he does. He's always impressed with everything you cook, and it would seriously be the most heartwarming thing in the world to see you take on his love for cooking.

[paper-mario-wiki]

i have now watched all of what has been animated of Overlord, here is my review:

okay i'll watch the fifth season but if Renner doesn't act like a fucking freak openly on-screen in at least half of the episodes im gonna be pissed. to be quite frank, and quite self indulgent, there are SO few yandere women that are given proper screentime these days-- and that's in manga AND anime. why is nobody brave enough to go full yuno gasai? what's wrong with these people? have they forgotten one of the core dere archetypes? my god. the only time girls get to act crazy on screen in anime is when they're an abusive guardian, a power ranger tier villain, or traumatized into helplessness. i want to watch someone whose derangement gives her power and i dunno, maybe she wields them selfishly for the one she loves! and that SEEMS like it's whats been promised to me in the 5th season, but ive been wrong before!!! theyve strung me along with the promise of seeing her do some real insane shit with no more than 6ish minutes spread thin over the 1248 minutes of animation the show's runtime has been composed of thus far. but god dammit. im still gonna watch.

anyway, everything else was pretty cool too, at least enough to keep me interested in the meantime. the animation was pretty bad for most of it. but the writing, voice acting, and overall direction were able to keep the story enjoyable despite that. to compare it to another isekai with a similar premise, though executed very differently; the politics are more interesting in this show than in Slime Show, but Slime Show's world feels more consistent, and the events contained within more justified, where Overlord does ass-pulls often. but i like this world too. i like these characters. i like how complicated they are. much of it is very edgy, and it's chock-full of what i'd call "anime bullshit", but that's a seinen story for ya.

my ratings for the seasons are as follows

6/10

7/10

6/10

7/10

Overall verdict:

this show is hard carried by its sprawling cast of deeply insane women, and god dammit they carried my girl-loving ass through 52 episodes. and probably 13-26 more depending on whether or not the studio really does end up wrapping up the story in the next season. due to the shamelessness of this shows content, i don't know that i can think of many people who i would recommend it to without feeling embarrassed about it. HOWEVER. if you're the kind of person who kept reading this because of the multiple mentions of really, really insane women, and that was enough to get you to read this whole thing, you'll like this show. i mean. as long as you can tolerate all of the *blech* Heterosexuality.

[mrcrawly]

house MD headcanons the threequel

hey so you guys? really liked the last one apparently? here's this AND a couple NSFW headcanons at your request you FREAKS!!!!! this is mostly Wilson and House but i threw in the ducklings too cause i love them

House:

actually kind of sensitive. typically only gets his feelings hurt by people he values and about topics he's touchy about but will take those things to heart if said about him

eats like a bird. im not sure if there's science to back this up but ive met a few people who were addicts (to a variety of substances) and it has something to do with how the drugs interact with certain receptors in the intestines (depending on the drug) and the fact that opioids can suppress hunger in some people, but he doesn't eat for shit. part of this is also because he's picky about what he'll eat

doesn't have the time or patience for pets, but has a bunch of houseplants

i like to think he got bored one day and named all of them and talks at them sometimes

misses going to concerts, but it's hard to go to festivals or concerts safely or comfortably with his cane (standing for long periods + people stepping all over him + sometimes lots of slopes and stairs)

oral fixation, always chewing on something

chronic stomach issues (again, opioids will do that to you)

genetically bad teeth but takes care of them religiously

likes treating kids because they tend to lie less or for completely innocent reasons, they also amuse him more

got insecure when Wilson made that comment about his thinning hair so he started oiling it (Cameron told him which oils to get)

will say sexual things to get a rise out of people and can take it in return if it's a joke, but if someone is actually flirting with him he kind of doesn't know what to do

water? what's that

almost exclusively drinks sodas/sugary drinks, energy drinks, or coffee

don't come at me for the next one i DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT

he's almost definitely a bottom regardless of who's doing him

"what about cuddy?" Cuddy's got a giant pink strap and he takes that shit like a girl twice a week i don't know what else to tell you

has a thing for being praised and humiliated

brat obviously

will pretty much try anything and has tried pretty much everything

Wilson:

bad temper. before i started watching this show everyone made me think Wilson was like incredibly docile and sweet and quiet all the time and he's actually really not?

very easily agitated, but very quick to apologize if he takes it out on anybody

keeps every single thing his patients give him whether they make it or not

lwk i think the reason his marriages failed is because he's literally watched people waste away and did every day of his practice and he's scared to get to a point that he can't live without somebody and then lose them

im only on s3 though don't come for me

also goes all-out on people's birthdays. bought house's team birthday gifts which wouldn't be so crazy except house didn't even remember any of their birthdays

one of those people that's very passive about their own birthday and insists that people don't need to celebrate it but gets really happy and emotional when people celebrate it with him

carrot cake enjoyer

always designated driver for House

has literally never gotten a ticket or traffic violation in his entire life

bought House a bunch of stupid patterned ties for his birthday. like they've got fucking cats all over them or they're bright pink and polka dotted

God's most underappreciated brat tamer

that man gives it GOOD!!!!!!!! he didn't get no three (3) wives sitting around!!!!!!

also genuinely a very good bed partner. not pressuring not overenthusiastic very much a "what do you need" kind of partner, very affectionate if it's necessary for the other person's comfort

probably likes to physically restrain partners but won't admit it because he thinks it's weird of him

manhandling, giving praise, 'o' denial....... guys come on

would be willing to switch but being the one running things is more natural for him

Cameron:

probably got kind of into collecting things like Sonny Angels or Calico Critters

very casual about it though, just thinks they're really cute

loved strawberry shortcake as a little kid and once went as her for Halloween

victim of a really bad perm when she was like 14

also had this fucked grandma bob between the ages of like 7 and 11

me too girl 💔

used to be very acne prone but it naturally sorted itself out

literally does not have a skincare routine. sleeps in her makeup all the time. she does wear SPF though!

does not enjoy working with children whatsoever at all

really likes musical theater. this bitch keeps up with the Tony awards for sure

gives out the really good candy and full size bars on halloween

favorite movie is Ferris Bueller's Day Off

also really likes horror films i think

Chase:

he gives repressed bisexual so bad does he know it's legal now

takes care of his nails religiously because for whatever stupid reason he used to be insecure about them

likes to make little origami animals when he's bored and stick them in random places

started making yo mama jokes so much they know have an office rule that after three jokes a day he has to put a quarter in the "yo mama jar"

the yo mama jar is an empty and washed Vlasic pickle jar with the label still on that sits on the coffee station

house takes the money from said yo mama jar

i know this bitch buys Legos but not in a normal way he's buying a $600 dinner table sized replica of the Titanic and working on that bitch every day for six weeks

if he read The Song of Achilles he would never get over it

gives out the really shit stuff during Halloween like he's giving out toothbrushes and the shit candy nobody's ever heard of

..............mommy/daddy kink

WHAT WHO SAID THAT

Foreman:

i feel like he grew up in New Jersey but his parents are originally from the south idk why i get this idea

maybe it's that his dad is so staunchly Christian (i know that's not just a southern thing but it's super common here so)

after the episode where he got insanely sick he's a HORRIBLE hypochondriac and still terrified about losing cognitive function

gets nightmares about the experience

REALLY likes ASMR but not the gross wet lip smacking ASMR

y'know those ASMR videos that come up on tiktok live at like 3 in the morning with the hand puppets that have a bowl full of water and wooden beads? he would like that kinda stuff

watches war documentaries i genuinely can't explain this but i know this in my heart

not because he's interested in war in any particular way just because he really likes documentaries

also really likes David Attenborough and his nature films

would really like those Goetze's caramel things with the cream in the middle

likes caramel better than chocolate

also does a really elaborate Halloween costume

okay that's all i got for you gootbye 😇

[panicloser]

Okay last thing before I shut up for a bit at least until tomorrow:

Overall, I did enjoy myself while watching this season but I do agree that this season is definitely flawed.

But my issue this season is not so much WHAT they did, I actually really like a lot of the concepts and ideas presented in this season, I think they're really interesting and can add a lot. MY issue is the WAY they did those things or the moment that they happened or I think certain things could of used more time and development or just done slightly differently.

(also the writers should have communicated with their actors better (Simone Kessel & Lauren Ambrose))

Alright if you're not interest in a long spur of the moment yap session stop here

--------------------------------------------------

-I don't like that they rushed through the warm months, I would've happily spent the whole season in that era, it feels like there's so much time that was skipped. But I do like that it was a prosperous era for them, it allows them to grow more enjoyment of the wilderness. So I see why they may have skipped through that because the writers may have thought that could have been boring. It could have. But it also could have been interesting to see things go to shit at the end instead of halfway through.

-I'm really into Melissa and Shauna's relationship, even more than I thought I would be. I love what it did for Shauna, I love the power dynamics, I loved learning more about Melissa, I loved both their conflict and weird fucked up connection. I honestly loved every single scene they have had together. BUT I think it could have been done better. There's an imbalance in how close I feel to both of them, we've been learning about Shauna since season 1 meanwhile we only began learning more about Melissa this season. I wish that in season 2 Melissa had been more of an actual character, a side character, but a character the way Mari & Akilah were characters. And I wish we'd focused more on her as an individual, I still have a lot of questions, when did she start liking Shauna? Why was she attracted to her brutality? I got the idea that she wants to be special to someone cuz turns out she wanted Shauna to treat everyone else like shit except her, but why does she want that? Cuz she felt overlooked? They could have gone deeper into that. I also wish we saw more moments of connection between before they broke up, they were dating for months so Shauna must have had some moments of affection towards her for Melissa to stay so long cuz we saw she wasn't afraid to stand her ground when Shauna's was being shitty to her, so why didn't we get to see that? It could have made Shauna's rise to brutality in the end even more impactful by seeing that's she's capable of momentary moments of love. Why did we never see them kiss again? What did they do together? What were their nights in the hut like? How close did they get? Adult Melissa seemed to know Shauna REALLY well. Speaking of which, Melissa being a survivor was unnecessary and I stand by that BUT even that I have mixed feelings about since I did thoroughly enjoy Melissa reading Shauna to filth then turning out to be a hypocrite by killing Van. Maybe I could have been fine with Melissa being a survivor if I just FELT closer to her as a character...and also if they had maybe waited another season to reveal that. But still, I'm glad their relationship happened rather than not

-I am not opposed to Lottie dying, I'm fine with them all dying I get that's in the theme of the show. I am opposed to how EARLY she died. I am opposed to that fact that they began to set up this really interesting dynamic with her and Callie that I was really enjoying and intrigued to see where it went only to rip it away. At the very least, I wish Lottie had died at the END of the season. They could have spent the entire season building up and exploring this dynamic between Callie and Lottie and both of them as characters only for Callie to end up killing her at the end, because I really like that part. The wilderness baby, the product of the wilderness, the one that Lottie worshiped so dearly being the one to kill her is phenomenal.

-I think Hannah joining the group was interesting, but like Melissa I think it all happened too fast. Her being apart of the whole plan at the end didn't feel as impactful from her because we just met her, I don't feel an attachment to her yet so it feels like that plan could have been executed with a different character. But I love that she killed Kodi, I love that she was beginning to make connections, it just could've been better.

-Taissa's wife & child & previous career all being pushed away this season is irritating but I think it could have been done well. I like the other Taissa taking over plot line and that causing her to neglect those parts of her life. I just think they could've discussed and it incorporated her old life by giving her actual consequences for neglecting those parts of her life

-I'm actually quite happy with the execution of Van's death but I get why the actress was unhappy with it, it definitely happened quickly and there could have been more to be done with Van as a character. But I do think the show and the season was definitely building up to her death, it made sense. And the scene itself was actually really good, the music killed it, Van having her last moment be doing something good, Van in the plane watching herself, saying she brought the real love of her life back. I just wish she hadn't been killed by fucking Melissa. All those times she avoids death and the perry the platypus lesbian that just became a character this season is what gets her??

-Love how Ben & Mari's deaths were executed too

-LOVE Misty, she's always good. I love that she's the sanest one this season, really shows how crazy this shit has gotten because she was the weird one back in season 1 and now the few weird things she does are just business as usual. And I LOVE that she's been calling Shauna out on her shit this season, it's hilarious and she's so right and I'm so happy for her. No notes, Misty is perfect.

-The other thing I have no notes on is what we've learned about Natalie and Misty this season, the LAYERS! Make their whole previous dynamic make so much sense and it's gonna make rewatching them so SO interesting and enjoyable.

-Also, I loved the trial in episode 4. It was really good, really engaging, one of my favourite episodes this season other than what happened at the end of the episode (Lottie death)

-The scene of Natalie crying as snow falls was also perfect and insanely heartbreaking.

-And I love how Mari was developed this season, I wasn't into her as a character before this but I really learned to love and appreciate her with the way they fleshed her out. I'm gonna miss the hell out of her next season.

-I think there was a lot going on this season, the first half and second half feel like they happened in different seasons

-Last of all: Shauna's rise to power and where it ends: for the most part love it. I actually wanna do a an entire analysis on Shauna specifically but I wanna rewatch the show first so I'll talk about that another time. But I think the way she took over and stopped everyone from leaving when they were about to was lazily written far too quickly and seemed far fetched so makes it feel a bit less earned. But I'm still cool with it happening. Now for where it ends, I have two different opinions: on one hand, I love that she's become the embodiment of all the awful things in the wilderness, this show began with her, it works for her and what she's been through, I love how horrible she is and how she saw that as her peak. However it is not lost on me that the iconic pit girl scene, lost that group mentality of the horrible actions that the show set up in season 1 and 2. BUT then I think that maybe it's interesting how they lost that group mentality they had, that everyone else (except Lottie) is tired of the horrible things they've done out here yet Shauna is still holding on to this. Shauna is still stuck there. And she wants everyone else to be stuck there with her because she doesn't want to be alone in that. She wants everyone else to be like her. That's why she says "WE had fun." So that's why she forces everyone to be stuck with her and that's exactly why she's the embodiment of the worst of the wilderness. But I understand that it's a lot of whiplash to so drastically change the nature of that scene from what it originally was pitched as.

-also the JackieShauna confirmations this scene resurrected my lifeless corpse and I also wanna do an analysis on their relationship

--------------------------------------------------

Alright that's ENOUGH yapping for now. Overall, I'm happy enough with what we got and I can see the good in it even though it's not as good as it could have been and there's been disappointments. But that's okay! I'm just glad this happened and I hope there's more. There's more to say I'm sure but that's what's on my mind at the moment. Love you ppl 😘

[flossylove]

Ahhh okay back again! I realise I literally have not been keeping up to date with my spam messages, but who cares, only I'm reading these to myself lolol.

So. THE CLIPS TONIGHT!!

OMG where do I even start? So I was working during the day, so thankfully time flew by for me - I actually couldn't imagine having to wait around all day, I would've gone crazy! I was so looking forward to tonight, because I'll be honest - this remake is definitely my favourite! Maybe it's because it's my first one I'm ever watching in real time, but I genuinely feel it's more than that. They've made so many positive changes (like, in my opinion making Roko less toxic than William first was), and the cast is just so incredible in bringing the characters to life!

Nora and Roko are so easily my favourite Noorhelm remake by far! Their chemistry just feels so real and authentic (and yes I understand that authenticity and reality is literally the core of SKAM, but some remakes just weren't able to achieve that, in my opinion, but these guys have!) Maybe, also, I just find them to be one of the most beautiful Noorhelm remakes too - sue a girl!!

Okay, back to the actual clips! Firstly, I'll be completely honest, when we got the 22:05 clip with Maša, and she was talking about someone not calling for 3 days.....I genuinely thought it was about a girlfriend! Turns out, nope! Just her mum! But still, I believe in queer Maša being canon. It just works, u know? Also, Nora being such a sweetheart in that clip? Ugh love love love her. My heart literally hurt to see Maša crying, like, please no, I already love her so much. Already I feel she's spoken more words than Linn ever did!

Now onto the 13 MINUTE CLIP!! OMGGGG! Like, I already knew/was hoping it'd be a long clip like in the OG. But, once again, SRAM just outdid itself! I really do love how many one shot scenes there are. Like, I don't think I've seen anyone else talk about that? IDK, maybe some people have and I just haven't been seeing it at all hahahaha. But I noticed it so much in Season 1, and I'm really glad they're keeping it within the filming style! It really adds character to SRAM being it's own thing as well. I feel there's too much to even talk about with that clip but ahhh - Eva and Nix? Hello?? Love them! Nix picking Nora up? And that comment about expecting her way earlier (just goes to show that SRAM is making an effort to actually build Nix and Roko's friendship. Like, in the OG, I swear sometimes William just wouldn't tell Chris anything, like, IDK, to me that never made sense! But in SRAM, we know Roko actually talks to Nix about Nora - which, ugh, I love, such a loverboy!).

I feel like they kinda brushed over Vanessa this clip? Like, she was there in the photos, with both Eva and Tina, and I think Nix too? So like, did she leave with Tina? I guess it makes sense, cos they live in the same neighbourhood, but the fact none of the girls even mentioned her was just....iffy Idk. Nothing too deep, just something I noticed.

Ahh, one thing I just remembered! Right at the start, when Eva introduces that guy to Nora, and says about it being funny if he was called Adam instead. I loved that little throwback to the OG. I don't know if anyone else figured that, but I immediately was like OMG! In OG SKAM, when Eva has the date (the one that happened last Friday, or at least was supposed to? before it fell through? The one Nora lied about being busy for!) it's with a guy called Adam, and Vilde makes the funny joke about them being Adam and Eva. At least, I think that's correct and I'm not going crazy...

Either way, onto the important stuff - Roko and Nora!! I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it. Their banter, their chemistry, the way they bounce off each other so naturally and get the same jokes, just really makes them so enjoyable! Like, yes OG will always have a place in my heart, but, like, sometimes, it felt as though William had no personality. No laughs, No jokes. No smiles. And I get it! The whole 'broody, but only smiley for the right girl' vibe he had going did work! But, like, we're 10 years into the SKAM remakes now, and I'm just really glad they made this change and gave Roko a solid character build-up. I hope I'm making sense hahahaha

I didn't even notice, cos I was too entranced by Nora's singing, but he actually joined in at one part? Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but he does do a little something, before he then starts playing on the synth? keyboard? idk. And he sounded good! I really hope there's a chance for us to see more of that in the future. Some people reckon that instead of it being an essay/article that William helped with, it'll be a song, or a musical project - and I'd really love to see that be true! Also, just a side bar, in the OG, I feel like, once again, with us getting minimal characterisation of William, the guitar was a little random. Like, it was just never mentioned again? I'm pretty sure? It's been a while since I did a Season 2 rewatch, but I just remember always thinking how that felt like it came out of nowhere, and then was never mentioned again? Hahaha. Whereas, like, Roko being into music, being a DJ, has been a key point in this storyline so far.

So, we've mostly covered the clip but still, I just wanna touch on how easily Roko was able to pick up Nora's slight discomfort about singing in front of him (for real, rather than just messing about) and he so quickly just backed away so she was comfortable. Like, that man is for one woman, and one woman only, and her name's Nora. Like, he is so down bad for her!! Which, ugh, as a single girl who's never dated, it's so refreshing, in the big year 2025, to see a representation of a guy not being afraid to have a crush? And yes, I know, like, he's still a teen boy, he still has flaws, and unfortunately his character is fictional, but still, I am loving getting to see him smile at her softly, and take her beauty in and just quietly appreciate her.

Can u tell I love them so much??

Okay, now finally onto the last clip of the episode!! SRAM finally broke their Saturday no clip rule! I don't even think it was/is a rule, they just never seemed to post on Saturdays. Like, at all. Although, saying this....maybe they did in Season 1? And I'm just being silly? IDK, it's too late for me right now and I should be sleeping but I needed to get these thoughts out!

Anyways, we got the clip!! I was so scared we weren't going to get anything following the end of the 13 minute clip, but I kept adding the clips together and was like... 'we should still have 3 minutes left of the episode???' so I wasn't giving up all faith on the sleepover clip!! And I'm glad I didn't!! Once again, I loved - but are we surrpised?? No, not really hahahah

I'm just really loving the way SRAM is putting this storyline together. Like, yes, do I wish I saw what happened in those two-ish hours between the clips? Hell yes. But, I also love how it wasn't all shoved together. So, I am simply living in my own delusion and saying that they spent all that time playing around with the synth and just messing with each other!

Sitting here, rewatching the clip for the 7th time already (note, it's only been 45 mins as I'm typing, since it got uploaded), I just. No words. Love it. I really liked how it started with a reasonable scenario, of Roko sleeping on the couch, but then Oh No, What A Shame, It Smells Of Beer, Guess He Better Sleep In His Bed Again!! And Nora's reaction? Girl, I see you.

The little barrier, iconic as ever!! Their banter about Vito too? The reach-over and breaking of the barrier, was such a small thing in this remake, but once again, I feel it really worked with the scene and Nora and Roko's characters. The physical contact will always get me! I am a physical contact girly, so you can imagine my reaction when in the clip before Roko touched Nora's waist!!

When Nora says she doesn't know how to turn off the light, the way the camera angle was looking, I genuinely thought we were gonna have Roko lean over to turn it off for her. Which, I get is unrealistic hahaha, but I would've loved it. To maybe have seen Nora panic a little as he got closer, get a little flustered... idk - I just can't wait to see Nora when she finally lets him in and fully embraces her crush hahaha

And I really liked how they did it so Roko lies in this version! Now hear me out! I don't condone lying haha, but this was such a little funny lie, about Vito being out with some chick. Like, Nora knowing he was fully lying and making it up, but instead of leaving and getting angry she just stays and jokes with him too. Like, Your Honour, they are in love. They both want to spend time together!

Roko's little smile as he says "You do like me a little." and looks over at her. Beautiful. Absolute Cinema. And the call back to 'Robi' at the end. I really hope they keep including this as a little inside joke between the two. I mean, Roko seems more than happy to respond to it!

The. Way. Roko. Moved. The. Pillows. And. Moved. Back. So. He. Was. Closer. To. Nora. Need I say anymore??? No, I didn't think so. It was so sweet to watch!!

Now finally, and I mean finally, promise I'll be done soon! I really recognised the piano track playing in the background as the camera started to spin around them. It's absolutely a famous piece, I just can't think of what one right now (it's so late, I need to be up in 5 hours this isn't good for me hahaha). But I really love it! And the camera moving - ugh! LOVED IT!

I don't know if anyone will think I'm crazy, but I kinda hope we get a clip tomorrow? Like, with them waking up. I know we won't, because we've gotten the whole episode in these clips. But, I could just imagine the little transition between clips. Like how they did in Season 1, with them panning over the bed with Eva and Jakov. From night to then the morning. I really loved that a lot last season! Made the transitions a bit more fun!

Like I said, it won't happen, but maybe in the future? In a possible future clip? IDK, this is me now just projecting hahaha

Okay, I think I'm all SRAMmed out for the night, so I'm gonna finish this here. I doubt anyone has even made it to the end, but if you did then wow, thank u for dealing with my ramblings! At the end of the day, I'm just a girl with too many thoughts in my head and no one to talk to about SRAM in real life hahaha

~ floss <3

[alexanderwales]

I've started playing Persona 5 Royal, my first Persona game, because it was ridiculously cheap on Steam. Back when I had GamePass, I installed it but never played past the opening, which I think is a bit weak. I'm about 20 hours in, through the first two palaces, and I'm not sure that my opinion is going to change too much, but I'm registering it now just in case (with some spoilers for the first fourth of the game):

I think having a division between the physical world and the mental world, which is physically represented, is super cool. I used it in Dark Wizard of Donkerk, and am overdue for using it in something else. Psychonauts did it too. Inside Out as well. I will always love this concept.

I don't think I like the gameplay. The last major JRPG I played was Final Fantasy VII Remake, and I thought the same there, so ... I don't know, maybe just a whole genre that I don't have that much of a taste for. It's mostly the random inventory items and pointless mob fights that I'm frowning at.

Severe lack of harmony between the battle stuff and the story. The mob fights have fuck all to do with infiltrating someone's mind. There's stupid elemental shit. The mob designs are interesting but mostly disconnected from each other and any theme.

So far, the psyche stuff has been surprisingly shallow, given that it's the main focus of the game. First palace was a gym teacher (Kamoshida) who's abusing students (physically and sexually), and sees the high school as his castle, but ... I don't know. I wanted more. We're literally walking around inside a character's mind, why is the character study so shallow? He should have layers, like an onion, each more horrible than the last. Kawakami is the other teacher we know best at the start, and there's no sense of how he views her, whether she's a sex object to him, or a non-entity, or someone he's worried about, or what, and I kept expecting that narrative beat to happen. I don't know, I think my fanfic would just radically change the entire palace concept so we get ten times the interplay between real world and mental world, and so we can turn these characters inside out and see all their gross bits.

I wish that Joker spoke more often. He's not really a blank slate protagonist, but there's very little personality there, as much as I'm trying, and that means that other characters are driving the plot and scenes and in general being more interesting than him. This is just a matter of personal preference, and a place where I definitely depart from what the average JRPG enjoyer likes.

I generally enjoy the slice-of-life elements, and to a lesser extent, the time management, though there's a part of me that's just screaming that I should be looking at a guide to maximize values. And if I do that, I'll no longer be playing the game, I'll just be watching scenes and doing inputs. I am definitely not playing this game twice, so if there's a difference in endings, or a big chunk of content I might miss, so be it.

It's relatively low on the anime shit that I hate, though there's still plenty of time for me to be disappointed. The way they're handling Ann is ... kind of not great. She was sexually harassed and then immediately after they have this whole "nude modeling" plot that's played for laughs and titillation, and it's possibly just a me problem here (avoiding spoilers for now), but "girl who was leered at and sexually pressured by her gym teacher being then jokingly pressured by her friends to do sexual stuff she's uncomfortable with" is ... not how I would write it. (The answer to "how I would write Ann" would certainly be pretty long, and I haven't finished the game yet, so maybe it gets better, or gets given more meat in the hangouts or whatever.)

There's still time, but I sort of assume that we're just never going to go into the minds of the protagonists, which is a shame. Tons of possibilities there, and I think if they were going to explore any of them, they would have done it by now. I guess I feel the palaces are underdeveloped enough that I probably wouldn't be satisfied by how they treat the protagonists anyway, but it's what I would have done. Let me see a physical manifestation of how Ryugi feels about his alcoholic father. Let me see Joker's defiance. Let me see Ann's self-image. Show me links between these characters, the differences in how they see the social web.

The frame story for the game is an interrogation by the cops, and I am not a fan. Half the time they're just yanking me out of the story I was in the middle of to signpost "hey, this guy is important". Possibly this will all payoff later in some interesting way, like halfway through the game we reach the "present" and the frame breaks. I usually like that. I've had thoughts on the interesting ways the frame story could be used, and so far they haven't used it in those ways. (Also, there's a bit of weirdness where ... I am pretty sure that I was fighting shadows and using powers outside the Metaverse? Unless the interrogation is actually taking place within the Metaverse. Unsure whether I can register a prediction on this basis, or if there are just more mechanics/wrinkles later on. So far, the interrogation taking place within someone's Palace doesn't seem like it would comport with the rules/expectations that have been set up, but there's still time. I'd prefer not being spoiled if there is a clever payoff or twist.)

This game is apparently 100 hours long, which means it's going to take me forever to finish it. I am enjoying it in spite of any quibbles above, but I'm also feeling like it's only 80% of the game that I want it to be, partly down to execution and partly down to personal preference.

[synergysilhouette]

"Batman: Caped Crusader" review

Binge-watched this show, and I wanted to be one of many people to share my thoughts on this--plus I was spurred on by getting a wish of mine granted from the show. Make sure to check out the show if you can!

The animation is beautiful--I know this is a weird comparison, but soemthing about the animation reminds me of 2010s Scooby Doo animated films, and I kind of adore that.

The voice acting was...fine--I can't tell if it was poor performances or poor direction; Hamish's Bruce Wayne sounds too raspy/rugged some of the time, like he's still playing Batman, and many of the other actors felt like they were just reading lines rather than performing lines, not enough emotion. IDK if they're more used to live-action work, but voice-acting is a different ballgame, since your voice is all you have to convey the character. A lot of performances fell flat for me, but it wasn't 100% unbearable, just underwhelming. I have some people I'd recommend instead (both familiar to the role and otherwise), but I don't wanna start anything.

LOVED Harley (but not her costume)--Jamie Chung had one of the better performances in the group, and I really LOVED the angle they did for Harley; I feel like the media often flanderizes her as the goofy crazy chick, so seeing her actually utilize her psychology skills (like I've been asking for!) is so satisfying. That said, the outfit has GOT TO GO. Gold and black is gorgeous, but it ples in comparison to her black and red look. And a weird nit-pick; when I first saw the stills, I was under the impression she was wearing a carnival-esque mask rather than face paint, and I find that idea a lot creepier. I wish we'd gotten more of Harley's antics--and even seeing her get close to Bruce in the way she did with Barbara and Renee--before revealing her as a big bad to the public. And I appreciate that she isn't 100% evil; she is doing what she believes is a noble cause, just doing it in an illegal and unethical way. I needed a backstory!

Not enough Batman--Maybe it's just me, but it definitely felt like there were some episodes where Bruce and Batman were supporting characters and more focus was on the GCPD. While I don't mind it too much, I enjoy superhero shows for the superheroes, not the heroes; this is why I had a love/hate relationship with "Gotham."

Batman (and Bruce) isn't quite likeable enough--In earlier incarnations, Batman was more kind and caring before becoming more emotionally closed off with time, but here he's that way from the get-go. Not to mention that Bruce Wayne puts on a facade around everyone, even people he trusts (he probably did that anyway; I can't remember), and his session with Harleen really frustrated me because I don't expect his walls to come down immediately, I don't expect them to be this high this early. I wanted him to be a bit warmer and transparent, rather than curt and cold like he's usually seen in the show. I feel like this is an issue often seen in comics, too; people prioritize Batman's "coolness" and thus push his feelings to the wayside.

Using underrated and familiar villains--I'm sure the real experts are gonna chew me out for this one, but as someone who got into comics in the 2010s and didn't catch up on the acclaimed 90s series, it was fun to see villains I loved and villains I didn't know; one of the best things a popular property can do is use underrated characters, since it helps the show feel original and fresh (thus why "Teen Titans" is so enjoyable; the whole franchise is underrated).

Too modern for the 1940s--I can't put my fingers on it exactly, but the vibes feel too modern; I assume the 1940s was for aesthetics, but since everything else feels updated (from the way people talk to Harley and Renee seemingly being open about their feelings for each other), I don't think it was a wise choice to have it both ways. I see no reason not to have it in modern-day, but I suppose you'd have to get more creative with technology.

Barbara and the Robins--First off, I should've gambled with someone that Jason would be a redhead; I'd have made SO MUCH money. Secondly, I'm not crazy about how all four kids are orphans; If I recall correctly, both Carrie and Stephanie's parents were alive when they joined the Batfamily. In any case, I'm confused on why Barbara is significantly older than them when they're all supposed to be within the same age bracket (I think; someone has told me otherwise since posting this, so I could be wrong). Not to mention, a part of me worries that because of the quartet's young ages and Barbara getting so much screentime as a lawyer, we won't get any of them as Robins or Batgirls unless something drastic happens, and/or we get a time jump.

Overall, I think my biggest gripes are the voice acting and how Batman/Bruce Wayne is written. That said, I enjoyed the show overall. IDK why HBO Max dropped it. Hopefully season 2 will introduce Poison Ivy, Catman, Tim Drake, Ghostmaker, and Gardener, since the finale already showed us a certain someone who IS coming to Gotham.

[lightandfellowship]

I'll be honest, I think maybe the Foretellers would have been better received if they weren't sharing their screentime with the MoM.

Like, I see the Foretellers get called "boring" a lot (and I get why) but I feel like it's a little unfair to them when they're standing next to the MoM who is so overwhelmingly quirky, funny, expressive, and lively; it's hard not to read the Foretellers as humorless sticks-in-the-mud in comparison (which is probably the point, but still).

As well, we get very little time with the Foretellers and during that time we mostly see the Foretellers talking about and reacting to matters concerning their official responsibilities as Union leaders; I think it's understandable why they'd be mostly serious and no-nonsense throughout Back Cover, even if it doesn't make for the most entertaining/compelling character work.

And even then, I still think we get some interesting glimpses into the personalities and flaws of these characters via KHUX and Back Cover, especially with regards to how their qualities and behaviors sometimes contradict their first impressions.

Gula comes across as an edgy, detached loner teenager who Doesn't Care and doesn't need the help or friendship of others, but then by the end of Back Cover we see how much of a front this is, with him emotionally falling apart, begging for Ava's help, and trying to pull a dangerous stunt (summoning Kingdom Hearts) to, essentially, get his MoM to pay attention to him and come back to save him and his friends.

Ava comes across as the young, innocent, kind favorite who doesn't want to rock the boat or engage in any conflict, but she's also the one most involved in many of the mysterious and suspicious events that occur throughout KHUX, the one who attacks Luxu first out of anger, and the one who is implied to rebel against the MoM in various ways.

Aced, though undeniably big and strong and a little intimidating, still nonetheless comes across as someone kind and justice-oriented who genuinely cares about fairness and other people. By the time of the Keyblade War though, he is forming an army, voicing his intentions to overthrow the other Foretellers, and trying to become a literal tyrant who rules with an iron fist.

Invi comes across as this cool-headed, logical, impartial, reliable type of person but is one of the first to openly accuse Aced of being the traitor with no evidence to back it up and even prioritizes Ira above all the others, being willing to spy on everybody else for his sake.

Ira is meant to be the leader, the one who takes care of everybody else and mediates disagreements, but instead he's the first to become suspicious of his own comrades almost immediately, and is the cause of the tension and conflict that arises amongst them.

(I watched Back Cover/KHUX again a couple months ago and I'm going off of memory here. I'm sure bigger Foreteller enjoyers than I could provide way more character analysis than just this. But the point is: I don't think the Foretellers are completely lacking in character or personality; in the very least there's some good groundwork here for future games to flesh them out even more.)

[iloveyurirah]

Punch Out boxers using Tiktok! (headcanons)

—

Glass Joe

• Would be active for a few days before eventually forgetting about the app.

• Reviews restaurants for content and a lot of people tease him for being French.

• Would either have decent followers or just a small account.

—

Von Kaiser

• Was there just to watch videos before making content after seeing a handful of it.

• He shows off his boots, training, and talks commentary. He didn't like showing his military stuff though, reminds him of the past.

• People expect thirst traps from him and he's honestly, seriously, GENUINELY denying every single request.

• Also forgot he had the app LMFAO

—

Disco Kid

• Is still very much active on Tiktok.

• Is always up on trend, especially the ones where you DANCEEEE

• Comments from him are mostly compliments and uses the "slaayyy", "girl" typing style. Very outdated.

• Shows selfies sometimes, just sometimes.

—

King Hippo

• Watches a lot of animal videos on the app.

• Often uses someone else's phone for watching.

• Accidentally posts a picture of himself and has those random ass sounds(Jax Vs. Skibidi Toilet Edging Battle!!!!)

—

Piston Hondo

• Would deny using it at first, but eventually gives in. He enjoys using the app.

• Mostly used his account for commenting and watching. Likes giving people advices.

• He wins a lot of arguments.

• Probably has like 2 accounts, the other one being banned.

—

Bear Hugger

• Has an account with 10 followers.

• Defo tries to do mukbangs but fails almost miserably???

• Eventually moves to showing off his fellow animal friends.

• Likes responding back to comments. Especially when they're making conversation with him.

• Bio is "I like raw fish"

—

Great Tiger

• He makes videos about his magic and people think it’s CGI which offends him.

• Responds to hate comments a LOT. Spends most of his time on Tiktok to reply to them.

—

Don Flamenco

• Vlogs in a lot of places and records them.

• Likes showing off his dance skills and good looks.

• Loves the attention he gets so much.

• The comments thirsting for him make him.. a little uncomfy(VERY LOYAL TO CARMEN!!!!)

—

Aran Ryan

• A big-ass hater

• Posts hate comments, videos, his whole being on Tiktok is about being a hater and complains a lot. For fun.

• Yells in videos he posts.

• None of the boxers want to follow him (HELP, maybe except for Lil Mac)

—

Soda Popinski

• He doesn’t even know Tiktok exists.

• Although tiktok knows about him, he probably gets edits made about him and he’s genuinely unaware of them.

—

Bald Bull

• HATES the camera, absolutely. Doesn't like recording himself as well.

• Doesn't bother using the app at all.

• He always ask the other boxers on why they keep using the app, more offensively.

—

Super Macho Man

• Posts a shit ton of videos just flexing his body.

• Always has his bitches in the videos to 'prove' something (nothing)

• Posts thirst traps but everyone is roasting him in the comments. He's obviously not happy about this. (Aran MIGHT be the troll)

• Responds to hate comments with something that revolves around him being better.

—

Mr. Sandman

• Is actually civilized and does not cause drama. He's chill.

• Posts videos of him training from time to time, but is mostly on the app for.. YOU GET IT. JUST WATCHING.

• Reposts DAILY.

—

Little Mac

• Too young for Tiktok.. :( (JAYKAY)

• Average Tiktok user, follows all of the boxers despite some of them just hating on him.

• Another commenting enjoyer, mostly on the boxers' posts.

• Reposts a lot of memes and shows them to Doc Louis (some of them he doesn't understand)

[ben-talks-art]

Okay... This episode of Digital Circus almost made me cry... almost!

When I saw the first episode of this show I knew I was going to really like it, but I wasn't prepared for how much I was going to love it. This reminds me of when X-Men 97 premiered and even though we were only two episodes in I could already tell this was going to be something special.

I know it's super, super early to say this, but this might become one of my favorite shows. The way they handled this episode really worked for me in a way I haven't felt in a while.

From the very first scene things already start on a really strong note, with our main lead, Pomni, having nightmares about the worst-case scenario from the new situation she's in where she imagines herself being affected by the circus glitch and being abandoned by the rest of the cast.

This does a great job setting up her sense of isolation and how she thinks she's on her own even though they all should be on the same boat together.

This gets highlighted even more as another member of the circus, Ragatha, is seen constantly trying to show her support and getting Pomni to cheer up despite the dreadful situation they're in while Pomni herself just acts indifferent as if she had already given up on everything and everyone.

I found this characterization of hers so relatable because I also used to think for a while that my problems were mine and mine alone and that everyone trying to help me were doing that just out of obligation and not because they really cared.

For some reason it felt "safer" to just assume I couldn't count on anyone because then I wouldn't have to worry about being disappointed in anyone, after all, you can't get disappointed if you don't get your hopes up.

So imagine how hyped I got when I saw that they indirectly made Pomni realize why it's important to rely on people when they switched the roles and placed her on the position where she needed to be there for someone.

I wanted to jump and slam my desk while shouting "Perfect! Perfect! This is just perfect!!"

Everything that needed to be said was being said just in the right way, just at the right time, and with the right amount of emotion, just the right amount of seriousness and levity.

Cause here's the thing, the media often has this obnoxious tendency of portraying antisocial characters as people that need to just "Get over it."

A lot of writers enjoy lumping grumpy characters, and reserved characters, depressed characters, angry characters and all these stuff as people who just need someone to cheer them up and have them forget about their problems, as if they were babies that just need to grow up and learn to be less grumpy so they can join in with the fun alongside everyone else.

You notice that it's always a person in a bad mood + someone who's always cheerful, happy, and with a child-like joyful attitude to be their contrast or someone to call them out on their "grumpyness."

And that always bothers me because it makes it seem like they're downplaying someone's struggle or inner turmoil as if they were minor things that they latch onto to just because nobody has told them to let it go yet.

I like when stories showcase why people struggle so much to let go of this mindset, why they struggle to open up to others and find themselves cheering to their day-to-day lives again.

But I'm also aware that this is not an easy task cause it's basically asking to show someone being depressed for a good portion of your story, and if that goes on for too long or it starts diving into a too heavy of a territory, it can make it a challenge just to watch.

So yeah, I get it, it's hard to find the right balance.

To show why someone needs to overcome their personal demons, while also making it an enjoyable experience to go through.

You don't want a case like Legend Of Korra where Lin Beifong's issues were pretty much treated as a joke, but you also don't want something like the Beast Boy segments from Young Justice where every scene with him just felt the same thing for 5 or 6 episodes, even though they were realistic scenes depicting someone going through what he was dealing with and they all built up to an amazing conclusion with Black Canary... But it was still draining to go through that.

You need to find the right balance and I felt like this episode really succeeded in that. You get why Pomni feels the way she does and you get why Ragatha tries so hard to help her out and why it's important that she keeps trying even when it seems like there is no point.

I really like how Ragtha isn't just "Cheer up, Pomni! Let me show you the secret to enjoying life!", she's actually trying to be sensitive of her situation, giving her the space and time she needs, and being there for her but not forcing herself on her.

She validates Pomni's pain but also knows it's a pain that she needs to learn how to deal with, otherwise, she's just gonna miss out on her own life.

The final scene was the thing that really got me.

When Pomni finally realized that the same way she tried to help out that NPC when they were stuck, she also needs to let others help her out.

It took me so long to realize in life that I don't need to deal with everything on my own, that I had people there for me, that I'm allowed to be vulnerable and make mistakes and that the people around me who love and care about me would still be there for me.

It took way, way too long for me to realize all that, so to see that final shot of Pomni imagining herself falling just like in her dream, but this time she had trust that her friends would be there to catch her, it really hit me good.

I'm not sure how to explain it but for some reason I was really proud of her for learning such an important lesson so quickly that it took me so long to learn myself. Like, I know she's not real, she's a fictional character, but I felt an immense relief while thinking people would watch this, and learn from this, and not make the same mistakes I did.

I have no idea where this show is going, but I feel like I'm in safe hands and can't wait to see what else they're going to do and where they're going to go.

I'm very very hyped for this series!

Also, I know this makes me a monster, but this scene made me laugh. :)

[watchingblsnowandforever]

Why We Are isn't just a fluffy no-plot show

I just read this post by @twig-tea, which honestly is a very well written, thought out post and I'd recommend giving it a read, it brings up many pertinent questions.

Having said that, I want to make just a small interjection as someone who really enjoyed We Are. This isn't just a biased view of why We Are is good - it has quite a few faults too. [can't even write a post without- *grumbling* so sorry my cat was prancing all over the bed threatening to pee] Where was I- yes. What I'm trying to say through this post is that We Are is queer in it's own right and while it might not match up to some of the greats of our time (Bad Buddy) it does resonate with a lot of queer people (including me.)

I myself asked @desi-yearning why I liked We Are. I was rewatching the show so at the time it was a sort of rhetorical question, but then I really thought about it. Why do I like We Are? The answer I arrived it is not as simple as I'd though it be (that it's a good fluffy show).

I am out and proud as a fluff enjoyer. I know angst reflects real world struggles and what queer people have to go through on a regular basis. I don't like angst but the why is a story for another time. Historically though, it's not that I've never watched angst or enjoyed it (I entered the bl world with KinnPorsche so-) but it's more a personal choice.

Now, coming to We Are specifically, I was actually skeptical all the way till episode 5 or 6, I think. I don't remember specifically what happened, but by ep 8 I was hooked.

All that rambling aside, here are the reasons why I think maybe We Are isn't just a no-plot fluff show:

Fans are actually leaning towards high stakes shows. GMMTV usually pretty accurately represents the wants of the bl-fan demographic (they have to, to earn the most profit) and it has slowly been turning towards ansgty, hard "real-world" (though this time with all the fate stuff and tarot cards it's more "we have nothing else to produce please give us your money") shows (whether they are well done or not, however, is another question altogether). I know that's a bit of an assumption but from meta on tumblr too, I get the same feeling. Therefore, We Are was a bit of a dark horse. P'New himself said, in almost all interviews that he never expected We Are to be commercially successful, he just made it because he wanted to. So... why?

Couple pairings. I have a LOT of beef with GMMTV. Much of it stems from their couple pairing strategy. While I do have my favourite pairing(s) (and I hate it because it means those capitalist idiots have been successful in their matchmaking scheme), I absolutely detest them overworking these pairings to produce commercially successful shows that are actually hollow. We Are, however, introduced a new pairing that was, by some, even more loved than the 'main' couple. For me, personally, I actually had very little idea about the other pairings too. I had seen PondPhuwin in NLMG but it was a high-angst show that made me queasy and I did not look further than what the show gave me. I had seen AouBoom as side couples but had hardly paid them any mind more than to maybe say "oh they're cute". I had seen WinnySatang in MSP and a couple more sides but I wasn't entirely convinced by that either. I only learnt more about them during or after the show, so they had less than nothing to do with me watching We Are. Alternatively, MLMU Th was disappointing for me, and I love GeminiFourth. When I watch a show, I do pay attention to the pairings, but that's not the only thing that can carry a show for me.

Friendship. This is a big one. I'm in college. Friendship is a very big, very important part of college/uni. I've never had many friends and honestly did enter college mentally prepared to go through all four years alone. But then I made friends. I just- they are so important to me. I know I'm maybe not as important to them as they are to me but I know they'll help me out when I ask. So when I saw this little show about friendship as a central point, I embraced it hard and cried about it at night. If you peel off the few outer layers, at it's core, it's all about friends. And that just got to me. It was more found family adjacent which is also a soft spot of mine. It's about not taking friendship for granted, about cherishing what you have, about putting your friends first, and always being there for them.

Queer representation. We Are examines overused tropes in a new light. Big example of this is how Peem/Phum could have very easily turned into a dark, toxic relationship. Even a few years back, it would have. But it didn't. We understood why Phum was the way he was. And Peem was never for a moment shown to be anything but his equal or tolerating any of his bullshit (even during the slave era he made it abundantly clear to Phum that this was wrong and if he really didn't want to, he wouldn't be doing it. He specifically told Phum to not let Peem's friends know because Peem knew, with absolute certainty, that if they found out, Phum would be buried alive). He even called Phum out multiple times. Moreover, it is also a story about queer groups, about queer friendship, specifically. I think bls don't show that enough. Even through the hard times, we do sometimes have people to support us, be it just one fellow queer or a whole group. It is also about acceptance of self and acceptance of love. Another thing that really got to me was the friends-to-lovers arc of ChainPun. I've often had crushes on my friends, and I've either confessed long after, when I didn't like them anymore, or never confessed at all. That shit is hard. In 12th grade, I had a very embarassing crush and most of my friends knew about it, so that trope was very cathartic for me. However. I did want Phum's relationship with his estranged father to be better explored. I don't like how easily they blow that away. It has been a pattern (mentioned in the linked post) and while I love my accepting parents/guardians, I do think we do also need homophobic ones. To change older generations' mindset, I think it's better to show them initially as conservative and harsh but slowly become accepting near the end of the series because they realize that if they continue their behaviour they might just lose their loved ones for good. (Homophobic parents is also very close to my heart but I have a complicated relationship with it.)

No plot. We Are does have an idiot plot, i.e., it's character driven. But I don't think it's entirely devoid of an overarching plot/storyline. Every character does play out a little bit of plot that plays into a bigger picture. Every character has a place, a purpose. Comparing the beginning to the finale, we see the characters have changed not just due to character development, but also as a result of the characters around them and the circumstances they were placed in. And all of these characters are tied together, somehow.

I have no idea if all that makes any sense, but yeah, that's my take on it.

This post was actually sparked off by a few questions that came up after I read the post linked in the beginning; can't queer people be happy? Despite all the struggles and the suffering, can't they have a home to come to? Does queer rep always neccessarily have to be angsty with a barely-happy ending? Does our love always have to be bittersweet?

If you've read this far, thank you so much for giving my rambling a chance! =D

Please rest your eyes for a moment and remember to hydrate <3

Here, have a donut 🍩

[kalmiaphlox]

Damn, this is what it feels like to be you?

COMPLETED!

AO3 Link / Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2

Love Me Like You Do

Astarion takes his wrist back, rubbing at the tender skin, disappointed. "I thought it would feel better than that…" She blinks multiple times, trying to clear her mind of this euphoric rush that is burning through her now from head to toe. "That was much better than I expected."

Pairing: Astarion x Named Female Tav (Hircine)

WC: 8.2k

Main Tags: Body Swap, Humor, Fluff, Smut, Body Worship, Fashion Show, Unprepared deep throating, PiV Sex, Mild Hair Pulling, is this considered self-cest???, slight breeding kink, a lil aftercare

Stuck as a man and watching her body writhe around in ways that Astarion considers pleasing to the eye is not high on her list of enjoyment. This is not the worst day of her life, but by the gods is it one of the most uncomfortable. 

Seeing it for herself now, Hircine thinks she looks more like a worm undulating a path around the room than some sensuous woman enticing her husband into bed.

Yet Astarion finds it exceptionally attractive, made apparent by the way his eyes linger across her form when she stretches out in bed with her best come-hither stare, lips wet and parted, eager to take his cock. He really likes it when Hircine wears something low cut or open at the chest, and if she squeezes her tits together, then it's ‘delightful’, as Astarion would purr. 

All she sees now is someone desperate for attention. 

These images will have to be scrubbed from her mind if she's going to perform like that ever again in the future. The cringe-inducing revulsion she feels for her own body is too much. 

Hircine would love more than anything to be easily turned on by this. They could have that savage fuck he's looking for so bad and then the focus could shift to something else, something that doesn't require Hircine to look at herself more than she wants. 

She's not unpleasant on the eyes with her pink-hued gray skin and the much too long hair that shines between silver, slate and black depending on the lighting. Her eyes are brighter than she's known them to be, the shining gold ring a touch eerie and too reflective.

No, beauty is not the issue.

I just don't like women.

What if they're stuck like this? Will she have to get used to it?

I don't want to fuck men like this. I don't want to fuck or make love or have sex or whatever with anyone but Astarion. 

But she can't do that when he looks like her. 

All she wants is to please Astarion. When he's happy, so is she, and maybe vice versa, but trying to get turned on by herself has been damn near impossible. She looks at that face every damned day! It's not sexy!

She barely touches herself to begin with, the only time really indulging in such an act is when Astarion requests it of her in that way he does. There's no shame behind it, Hircine just doesn't care for it. 

She is trying! No one can say she isn't! Having a penis attached to her instead of inside her is a terrible fate. She can't even look at it. When Astarion slipped into the bathroom for the business-that-shall-not-be-uttered, Hircine got a feel of herself in his body. It just doesn't feel right to touch anything, and then it's Astarion and all she can think about is him not being treated exactly the way he deserves and she would hate to do something wrong.

With Astarion in her sight, the experience is a little better, but then he is her and Hircine does not want to look at herself look at herself! It's weird and so discomforting. 

Then there's the distinct silence of his mind… She never knew how loud hers was, and maybe she misses Herma-Mora’s buzzing a bit. 

The hunger, now that, Hircine could do without. It's not a noise in the way Herma-Mora is, but a feeling, and it's everywhere. A fierce ache that never goes away, gnawing and brutal. Instead of the hunger being localized in his stomach the way a living being's is, it's this unpleasant itch beneath the skin, an inhuman, hungering maw screaming for more and more and more. Why do her teeth hurt so much?!

Astarion said that it's never ending, and no matter how much he drinks, the burn will go on. 

What a terrible existence that must be. 

And it could be Hircine's forever if—

“My love~” When her head turns towards the sing-song tone, his finger sinks into her cheek. Astarion giggles like she fell into some kind of trap. “May I make another request?”

Oh, gods. “What now, Husband?” She asks, hesitant. 

His cat-like grin is an odd sight on Hircine’s actual face. “Can I try on your clothes? Pretty please?”

Could be worse. “My wardrobe is at your disposal. Let me know if you need help, some of those straps are so… strappy.”

“Not to be rude, my perfect—”. 

“You're always rude.” She says.

He gasps as if she told him his lipstick doesn't match the outfit he's wearing. “That, my sweet, is rude.”

“It’s true.”

“Rude!”

“Rude,” she echoes, dryly.

They stare at each other for a while before Astarion huffs, flicking a long strand of hair over his shoulder, his tone snippy and demanding. “Would you be a good wife and fetch the standing mirror from the storage room? My arms are much too weak now.”

“Yes, milord, whatever you want!” She mocks as she gets up, feeling a pillow thump against her back as she disappears into the hallway and enters the storage room. The mirror is front and center since they bring it back and forth often, maybe they should just keep it in the bedroom, but Hircine likes the room mirror-less. 

She pauses in front of it, finding nothing in its reflection. Alarm wiggles into her brain and Hircine pats down her body to know that she is still there. Of course it is.

This is Astarion's reality.

Back in the bedroom, Astarion is already digging through her closet, making a horrendous mess of everything. Clothes dropped in piles on the floor, skirts scattered about, along with trails of ribbons that she's not quite sure were in her closet to begin with.

Hircine would wager quite a sum of gold that Astarion is making a mess like that just for Lexi to clean up. 

Truly, he is the rude one. 

Settling the mirror behind the privacy screen, Hircine peers into the closet. “Do you need any help?”

“No! Go sit down while I prepare!” 

She won't argue. Back on the couch, Hircine reclines back with legs crossed, listening to the rustle of fabrics and grunts of whatever is causing Astarion exertion, probably some dress that needs to be tied in a complicated manner. If he and Lexi aren't around, she avoids those. No need to spend half the evening trying to put on one stupid piece of clothing.

“Can I take one of your fans?” Astarion asks from the closet.

“Only the ones in the top drawer.” She says, checking her nails the way she's seen Astarion do so many times. His cuticles are kept clean and the nails are filed neatly just as she expects.

He mutters under his breath, a quiet whisper that, in normal circumstances, would not be heard. “Tch, stingy.” 

“Hey, I heard that!” The hearing in this body is something else, and well, all the senses are so amplified. She can hear Astarion’s heartbeat and smell the perfumes tucked in their bottles, all from her place on the couch. Even her vision is exceptionally sharpened. It really is cheating to be so attuned to everything; there's no chance to hide.

He clears his throat loudly, getting her attention. “Are you ready, my love?”

“Dazzle me with my wardrobe, please.” She deadpans.

“Don't mind if I do~” Astarion sings, one slim leg appearing from behind the privacy screen, the hints of a blue dress Hircine doesn't recognize follow the movement. Stepping out into full view, waving a spread open fan to cast a breeze over himself, Astarion poses languidly against the screen's frame, slightly reclined with chest jutting out, head tilted back. Is that... supposed to be alluring? The dress he chose is of royal blue silk, tight-fitting as all Hircine’s clothes are, with a deep neckline that plunges all the way to his navel, focus drawn to the breasts which are partially covered and threatening to fall out should he lean over too far. “Blue suits you, pet, and so does this dress. Why have you been hiding it from me?”

She drags a finger down her flat chest. “It's not the most work-appropriate.”

Astarion scoffs, “Work wear be damned. Everyone should have the privilege of seeing Belbol and Iiyola in all their glory.”

“You want other people looking at my tits?”

The fan is snapped shut, tapping against his chin as Astarion ponders that, the face that was once hers, screwing up with disgust. “No, I guess not, but they should be displayed more.”

“So, I should walk around naked for you.” She adjusts while re-crossing her legs, holding onto a knee with a quirked brow.

“Then where's the fun in that? I enjoy ripping your clothes off… Also, this is nice!” He reaches up, swiftly pulling the sides of the fabric away so his breasts pop out with a bounce, and then Astarion rocks back on his heels, making them sway. “Are you taking notes? I can get you some parchment. Gods, I could look at them all day!”

“You already do.”

“Actually, no, I don't think so. They're starving for my affection.”

Earlier on the elevator ride down to the mines, Astarion was grabbing and groping at her chest—not that Hircine minds at all. He holds them for ‘support’, for whose benefit, well everyone knows it’s not hers. Most nights in bed, Astarion's head rests on her chest, partially to listen to her heartbeat and then partially for the… pillows. Then there is reading time, a book in one hand and a tit in the other because ‘What if this book is scary, Hircine?’

He's silly. 

“Is this the only show I'm getting, or are you going to try on more?” Hircine asks, having had enough of watching her own breasts shake while Astarion coos in awe.

“Fine. Onto the next.” The dress is already being shucked off as he turns around, disappearing behind the screen once again. Pants—ew, blouses—ew, and a variety of dresses and nightdresses are tried on and flounced around in before Astarion gets to something that he laughs uproariously about. 

She'd much rather hear his actual laugh.

“What’s so funny, Husband?” The laughter is extremely suspicious, and Hircine is ready to burst into the closet before Astarion shushes her.

“Oh, just wait. This is amazing. You've really been holding out on me, you little deviant.”

Now she's concerned. There's a whole assortment of unwanted fabric in Hircine's closet that's been stuffed into the bottom of a drawer since Lexi will just purchase things randomly that fit Hircine’s ‘tastes’, and occasionally they are things that Hircine would never wear a day in her life because Lexi does as she pleases.

She shudders, thinking of shoes. An awful invention. No one should suffer their tyranny.

“Love, can I take your lipstick off?”

Ah, so now Hircine really has to see herself in all her glory. “Yes, go ahead.”

He giggles maniacally from behind the screen and Hircine is now fidgeting in her spot on the couch, worried about whatever he has found.

“Like I said, I hope you’re taking notes!” And Astarion appears, draped in a luxuriously oversized, velvet robe in a deep earthy shade of green with dyed owlbear down cuffs and hem. The sash is tied tight around his thin waist, but Hircine knows something is hidden underneath. “Pet, I can’t believe you don’t wear this all the time!” His white lips are split into what must be a seductive smile.

She shrugs, “Eh, I forgot about it.”

He shakes his head in disappointment, “If you won’t wear it, then I might take it for myself then.”

“Be my guest, Husband.”

Gliding across the floor so smoothly he may as well be floating, Astarion circles around Hircine to the back of the couch, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning down to place a sweet kiss on her cheek. “There’s more…” 

She knew it. 

Back in front of Hircine, Astarion drags the table out of the way, giving himself a wide area for whatever show he is about to put on. “This, my perfect girl, is what I expect you to commit to memory. Know that I like it, and know that I want it. Understand?”

She nods, reluctant to see whatever he is about to show off. Hircine is racking her brain for what this mystery outfit could be. Knowing that it’s something scandalous, she can only assume it was tossed to the very back of her closet the moment she saw it, never to be unearthed—until Astarion, that is. 

Slowly—torturously, in Hircine’s eyes—Astarion unties the sash, the most smug grin twisting his lips in a way that only Astarion is capable of. He’s careful to keep the robe closed as the sash is fully undone now, the smirk deepening still, the bastard. His fingers tease at the neckline, spreading it ever so slightly that Hircine can tell that whatever else he’s wearing plunges deep, showing off his ample cleavage. “Are you ready?” He asks in a husky voice that drips with an unbearable need.

Just by scent, Hircine can tell how turned on he’s getting from this raunchy display, and since it’s her body, she knows exactly how wet her cunt is. She sighs, waving her hand over his form. “Get it over with, please.”

His teeth dig into his lower lip as the robe is pulled away revealing… 

Can it even be called ‘clothing’ with how little it covers? 

Hircine is unsure of what this exact piece of clothing is called, outside of it being some type of lingerie. A black strip of fabric goes over the shoulders and comes together mid chest to slip right between the breasts—which are both out in the open, nothing hiding them, before splitting off into three thin pieces that go under the bust and down the stomach. There’s a very small, very sheer lacey triangle of fabric that covers just above the belly button and over the crotch… mostly. It’s clear almost immediately to Hircine that they are crotchless. There are more straps and strips and strings over the hips and legs.

Nothing is left to the imagination, that's for sure.

The strappiness of it all is the biggest offender. That’s why Hircine has never worn it. She hates straps, all they do is end up in tangles and her in teary irritation, ready to rip them to shreds. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Astarion asks, all heavy-lidded and filled with lust as his hands roam over his body, feathering light touches that has him trembling. “I know why you wouldn’t like this, but wear it for me just once. That’s all I ask.”

“You’re wearing it just fine for me. Is that not enough?” 

He twists around, giving Hircine a view of ass and back, then bends forward.

She blinks, unphased. Yes, that is a cunt.

It's nowhere near as enticing as when he does his seductive poses in his body. “No, because this is me, and not you. I want to see how you move in it.” 

“Do you think it would fit on this body?” Hircine gestures over herself in jest. 

Astarion pauses, head cocking as he thinks about it, maybe a little too seriously. “Would that be something you’d like?”

She doesn’t even have to think about it. “No. What about you?” 

“I bet I’d look ravishing, pet, but I don’t think it’s really my style. I prefer being naked, draped perfectly with a blanket over my cock so you’re left wanting, or fully clothed to the nines! No in between, really.” Moving closer, Astarion points down to Hircine’s crossed legs. “May I sit?”

“Ye—” Before her words have fully left her mouth, Astarion straddles her lap, wrapping his arms around her neck tight and pushing his breasts into her face. Having no energy to fight him, Hircine rests her head on her own tits, humming in pleasant surprise at how soft and comfortable it is. No wonder Astarion loves to use them as pillows. 

"I have to ask… Am I cold to you—in my body, not like this, obviously?"

Hircine shrugs, looking up through her lashes at Astarion. "You're more room temperature, though I guess if the room is cold, then so are you, but it's not a bad thing. It feels nice most days."

"You promise?" Astarion asks.

"Yes, of course. Why?"

He sighs heavily, leaning further into Hircine so her face is now buried in plush tits—there's no use fighting against it. "I-I was worried maybe it made you uncomfortable… or you put up with it for me."

Drawing a hand up and down his back—and finding the lack of scars a little strange—Hircine pulls away enough to speak properly. "No, not at all. I like the way you feel."

"Gods above, my perfect girl always knows what to say." Astarion squeezes Hircine's cheeks in his hands, peppering kisses all across her face. "You're so good to me. Is there anything you’d like to do since I have indulged in… everything?" He asks as he cards his fingers through her silky curls. 

What could Hircine possibly want to do like this? 

While she considers all the options, the steady thrum of Astarion’s heart pounds against her ear, activating some deep-seated ache within her body and fangs. 

No, no, he wouldn’t allow that, would he? Hircine licks her lips, now feeling insatiable in all the wrong ways.

Lifting her head so their eyes meet, Hircine broaches the topic. “Could I… try to drink from you?”

Astarion stills completely once he removes his hands from her. “How do I know that you’ll stop?”

She pauses in consideration. “...You don’t, and neither do I, and if you aren’t comfortable with it, then there’s no reason to. I just—I’m curious, since I can feel your hunger, it’s so strange.”

He holds his chin the same way he does in his own body, putting great thought into this decision. Hircine understands how dangerous this could be for them, how easily she could kill Astarion and her own body if there is no control on her end. 

And with Lexi gone, there is no one to heal him should worse come to worst. 

Astarion grabs her cheeks, eyes blazing with excitement. “Let’s do it, because I also want to know how it feels, you know, when I’m not lying on the ground dying… and also you look so erotic—sexy!—when I bite you just right, I’d like to see how I look when biting.” She nods in his hands, and he keeps talking. “I think the wrist is our safest route, easier to pull away when I’ve decided you're done. I know you like a nice deep drink from your body, but I’d like to keep my wits about me, so maybe two pulls should be enough. How do you feel about that?”

Hircine was expecting an outright no, so this is better than nothing at all. “I think that’s perfect. There are some health potions in the bathroom should I… go too far.”

“No, there will be none of that. Two drinks max, and if you go further, I’ll slap you. Sound fair?” As if a slap will hurt her like this.

“I—Yes, that's fair.” She is absolutely salivating now at the prospect. The smell of blood beneath his skin has been easy enough to ignore, whether from Astarion’s years of control or maybe Hircine isn’t attuned to it with their body-mishap, but now that she is really focusing on it, it might be a little overpowering. Not in the way perfume is when a bottle is spilled, no, this scent is so hard to describe. 

Astarion explained it once, she smells like berries, spices and a natural musk that is present in all living beings. She thought it was her perfume, but he was adamant that it’s her own scent, and sitting here now with Astarion’s in-human sense of smell does Hircine understand. 

It’s under her skin, and to imagine how much more potent it will be when the blood is no longer trapped within… Oh gods. She can’t wait. 

Adjusting himself so he sits next to her on the couch, Astarion offers his wrist, palm up. Never once in her almost one hundred and fifty years has Hircine thought a wrist looked delicious, even when it’s attached to a person with her face, wearing practically nothing on their body. Weird. 

Right when she takes the wrist in her own hands, Astarion speaks up. “Go very, very slow. Stay in control, remember that drinking more will absolutely not stop the ache, and also, please don’t kill me. I will be quite cross with you.”

“Right,” Hircine says, licking her lips. Go slow. 

She doesn’t know how she knows as her mouth is brought right over the spot she should bite. The pulse, while quiet beneath the skin, thunders in her ears, the guiding star of her hunger.

Everything is felt in slow motion—her nostrils flare, inhaling deeper. The room grows brighter, each follicle of hair on the arm she's holding now in hyper focus as her mouth finds its rightful place, biting down, feeling how her fangs easily slice into his flesh.

Astarion tenses with discomfort, but that's all on another plane where her hunger is concerned.

Again, she moves like this is a dance she's learned a thousand times over, fangs pull out and blood gushes into her mouth. The moan that breaks free from her throat is animalistic and ravenous. Has she ever tasted something so good? Hircine can recall exactly how blood tastes in her own body, pungent iron and sharp, not something she'd take a goblet of.

But this… this is the nectar of the gods, ambrosia! How could she live without such an amazing delicacy?

"Slow, Hircine!" Astarion urges, bringing her back to the present. His free hand pats her cheek roughly, not yet a slap, but more than ready to deliver one.

Slow. Slow. SLOW. She chants the words over and over as she swallows her first drink, instantly sensing how the warmth permeates throughout her body—bringing her attention down somewhere that has so far been very unresponsive.

More blood fills her mouth and she will savor this, since it shall be her last. The essence sits upon her tongue, coating it, imbuing it with the life that has been missing when she and Astarion were thrust into the other's bodies.

And then it is also swallowed down, and she will weep at the loss of that enlightening experience. Remembering how Astarion stops the flow of blood, she releases her mouth from his wrist, licking the pinholes where such a feast once lay. Something about the saliva of Astarion's mouth closes the wounds his fangs create, quickly staunching the flow of blood—and it delivers Hircine one last treat.

Astarion takes his wrist back, rubbing at it, disappointed. "I thought it would feel better than that…"

She blinks multiple times, trying to clear her mind of this euphoric rush that is burning through her now from head to toe. "That was much better than I expected."

"Ugh, that's not fair! You always make it look so hot when I bite you! Why was it not hot?" He pouts, crossing his arms as if throwing a tantrum, but the naked tits shoving up at his movements just looks silly, though Hircine is struggling to understand why her eyes are drawn down to them now, the hunger morphing into another kind of twisted burn.

"I didn't like it the first time you bit me… It might be an acquired… taste." She smiles deviously and leans in. "We could try again if you'd like."

Astarion scoffs, swatting her away. "Absolutely not! I will—Oh, now how could I forget about that?" Shoving Hircine back against the couch, he points to her tented crotch.

So that's what she's feeling. Blood lust.

Lavender-gold finds red, wide and pleading. "Can we? I know how long it lasts. Please, Hircine."

"It really is involuntary… I thought it was because you're attracted to me." How sad. She had thought her blood was special.

He pats her face, forcing her eyes away from her now erect cock. "I am attracted to you, never think otherwise, but that isn't the focus right now. Hircine, my darling, perfect love, I need it in me. Please."

"Fine. Hurry!" Before her words are even finished, Astarion is already tearing her shirt off, buttons flinging to the floor, then furiously undoing the ties on the pants she had put on after their nap. It's definitely more sensitive down there than it was earlier when he… helped tuck her penis back into her underpants. The feeling of Astarion's fingers brushing over where the cock lies beneath the clothing is sending bolts of arousal up into her insides.

It's so different yet similar to her own body, inside and outside. What a strange experience altogether.

Pants are stripped and then the underwear does not last long once Astarion gets his hands on it, now flung to some corner of their bedroom. Gods, he moves fast when he wants something as fanatically as this. Positioned between her legs on his knees, Astarion kneads into Hircine's thighs, not quite sure of how to proceed.

Is he drooling? Whatever, as long as he's happy…

"Can I taste my cock?" His eyes flash to hers before returning down to the thing in question.

Who would she be if she stopped him? "I—Uh, go ahead."

Not a moment is wasted before his lips wrap around the head, and Hircine gasps at how good it feels. Hot and wet in all the right ways, tongue slipping along the underside for a few swipes. She fully understands why Astarion is always so eager to have her choking on his cock.

It's amazing on the other side!

Why couldn't she have gotten it up earlier? So much play time wasted from her inability to see past herself.

She likes when his tongue is inside her in their normal interactions, but near all of her cock has been swallowed down by Astarion and Hircine can't help but moan aloud. What a rush!

Tucking hair behind his pointed ears, Astarion bobs up and down her shaft a few times, ringing his other hand along the base in a surprisingly tight grip. Hircine’s breath catches in her throat, strangling whatever noise was trying to escape.

Astarion then just goes for it, taking that cock all the way down—and he chokes. Gagging, he rips his head away, threads of spit connecting his mouth to her sex. "Ho-How do you—You make it look so easy!" He gasps out.

Hircine is stuck, stunned, cobbling back pieces of her mind because what. In. The. Hells. Everything about that was so perfect. She didn't realize how cold she felt until being encased with pure molten heat, and then the velvety mouth-feel…

With a cough to clear her throat, Hircine clears her mind finally, responding to Astarion. "I don't know how you suck cock, Husband, but you can't just take it without thought."

Astarion pauses, eyes widening with something that borders on frenzied. "It's because my cock is so big, isn't it?"

"Yes," she responds instantly. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. That is not a can of beholders she ever wants opened.

He stares back down at his cock, plotting out his next move and Hircine hopes for more, for anything really. "I'm going to fuck myself now."

Ah, straight to better than anything. "Get on me," Hircine all but begs, feeling her cock give a little kick in anticipation.

Still wearing that horrendous not-an-outfit, Astarion clambers up on his knees, resting them on either side of Hircine's thighs. Placing a hand on her shoulder, their eyes meet. "Are you ready, my love?"

"I—Wait!" Taking a fistful of that scrap of fabric he has on, Hircine rips it off with ease. "I was tired of staring at it."

Astarion's mouth has gone slack, forming a long O. "I'm going to come so fucking hard tonight." He searches out her cock, taking it in hand and lining it up to his sopping wet cunt.

Is that the one upside to a cock is that it isn't as messy as the endless slick she produces? Hircine would still much prefer her vagina back.

His heart is pounding a ferocious beat against his chest, eager to escape, and she briefly wonders if it feels painful to him. On his knees like this, Hircine is perfectly eye level with those breasts, staring into the white void that is his firm nipples.

Is she about to do this?

Oh, yes.

Astarion sinks all the way down on her cock with ease from his slippery lips and their moans in unison are music to their ears. It's rapturous, the way her—his cunt swallows her cock whole, devouring its entire length. Soft and wet and warm and delicious. To fill, instead of be filled, now that is an experience.

Their mouths find each other instantly, tongues tangling together. "Oh, fuck!" Hircine gasps into Astarion, and he swallows those words greedily, winding his fingers into her hair to crush their faces impossibly closer.

He pulls away, nipping at her lips as he does. "You'll suck on my tits?"

"Yeah…" Hircine breathes out as she's guided by Astarion to his breasts. His back is arched, offering them up for the feasting. Taking one in hand, Hircine latches on to a nipple, finding it not all that unlike the way she does it to herself—which she is doing, but not really…

Clearing her mind of any erection-killing thoughts, she sucks gently on the hardened peak, the taste of his skin so sweet and intoxicating. Astarion groans raggedly, nails clawing into her shoulders as he rocks in place on her cock, really the only stimulation she can handle right now.

She doesn't believe she's going to last long at this rate.

Shuddering, Astarion begins to move with purpose now, finding a rhythm astride Hircine. She releases his tit, choosing to lean back and watch him ride her like his life depends on it, as Astarion has done so many times when the roles were reversed.

So, it's maybe not that bad being a man. Kind of.

“Oh gods, oh gods, please, I need you deeper. Fuck me with my cock, Hircine, I can take it all.” His head is thrown back, tits bouncing as Astarion rocks up and down his own cock, all sense lost. “Hircine, my love, please go deeper! I need it!” Astarion is petting at her face, kissing her lips, moaning and screaming and begging.

Astarion is rarely the loudest one in the bedroom, always demanding that Hircine let loose as much as possible because it's 'angelic'… The shoe on the other foot is a little weird. "There's no going deeper!" She laughs, taken out of the moment.

"Wha-What?!"

“It's bottomed out inside you, Husband, trust me, I know.”

Astarion pauses his rocking, the lust giving way to more clarity. “How is that it? There's more to my cock, I know it.”

“No, that's all.” Literally. He’s sitting all the way down on it, there’s no more to take.

More of the fuck-drunk—cock-drunk might be more appropriate—haze lifts, his eyes narrowing with intensity. “Are you saying my cock’s small?”

“I have never, nor would ever say that. It's perfect, I swear.”

"My cock's big enough to choke your mouth, but not big enough to stuff your cunt?"

"It does both jobs perfectly, and from where I'm sitting, this cock feels stuffed inside of a cunt right now. You are the one having issues with it! I never have!"

“Well, I need more. Can you magic it bigger?”

She places her hands around his full hips, digging in to the soft flesh. “Uh, no, absolutely not. Having been in that same position, like two days ago if I recall correctly, I assure you that even if your cock were bigger, it would not fit.” For emphasis, Hircine pushes down on his hips, nodding knowingly at the small whimper that escapes his lips. “Do you feel that, Husband? That's the end.”

Astarion's cock could not be more perfect for Hircine. Long enough that it can reach the back wall of her cunt so deliciously just the way she likes, and the girth gives her the most delightful stretch, never painful, only pleasurable. Yet somehow he is begging for more…

His cunt clenches and pulses around her length, thighs baring down on her own. Oh, that's good. She'll take more of that.

“But what if it could go deeper?” His lips are on hers again, tongues dancing as Hircine's head is tilted up and pressed into the couch cushions.

She laughs awkwardly, talking around his tongue. “I promise—you, it can't—”

Reeling back with a pout—he likes this face I make?! It’s so childish!—Astarion persists. “Why not? There’s more room in here.” He pats his flat stomach with a grin.

“Do you need an anatomy lesson? If I—you, ugh whatever, go any further, it'll enter the—That's just not how it works.”

“Well, it should be filled with something. What better than my own cock?”

Hircine cringes internally, trying not to let his words ruin the arousal she's finally built up. Thank the gods Astarion is not a woman. “How about we not destroy my body for your deranged penis obsession, alright? I think that's a fair and normal thing to want.”

“But magic—”

She interrupts him, not allowing anymore of this insanity. “Considering that we are both not how we should be right now, I'd say it could get a lot, lot worse. Maybe turn us inside out, actually implant a slaad egg in our chests… I could go on, Husband, but I think you get the point.” Hircine considers him for a moment before bucking her hips up to meet his, relishing the gasp that's pushed out of his mouth. “Why don't we change it up a bit? I like this position a lot, but it’s not as fun for me at the moment.”

His eyes sparkle with excitement. “Oh, fuck me exactly the way you want to be fucked.”

He already does though… What haven't they done that Hircine would like?

Hmm, well it's not exactly novel, but she won't have to see her own face anymore.

“Get up.” She demands exactly the same way he does. She likes being told what to do when it's Astarion—and so does he, apparently, when he enthusiastically complies. They both groan at the loss of cock in cunt when he gets up, and Hircine is especially surprised at how much she misses that all-encompassing warmth wrapped around her. It'll be back in a moment.

Panting in tandem, they're both covered in slick, all between his legs and down the front of her thighs. Gods her body really has no problems getting wet for this one. 

"Do you want a little roughness?" Hircine asks, running her hands along the curves of his neck.

He hums thoughtfully as their lips meld together one more time. "You're not going to accidentally break me are you? I'm a delicate flower now."

"Hah! Like I said, only a little… It will be just the way I like it."

His glowing eyes sparkle with insatiable desire. "Oh, yes. Yes, please."

Winding her hand into long locks of hair, Hircine pulls back his head tight, baring his throat at an angle so she can watch the pulse pound beneath it. Astarion stares up at her, a veil of caution now layering over his lust. She won't bite, there's no more need for that, as her mouth finds the sensitive skin, scraping fangs down to his collarbones, reveling in the way he trembles like a bird caught in a trap.

Just the way I like it.

A sharp tug drags Astarion further, curving his back so Hircine can take a breast in mouth, suckling the skin harshly to leave a puffy red mark, barely pressing her teeth in, careful not to break through. Astarion keens, loud and long, scrabbling for any purchase on Hircine's broad chest and finding none.

Having enough of this sensual play as it does nothing for Hircine, she takes his chin between her fingers, "Are you ready to be fucked?"

"Ravage me, my love!" He cries.

Grabbing his hair once again, this time with much more force—though nothing that will tear—Hircine guides Astarion to the back of the couch, shoving his stomach up against the ledge. She pushes him over until his feet no longer touch the ground, practically bent in half with his arms holding himself mostly upright on the couch cushions.

"Oh, I like this, pet."

"I know you do, and imagine how much better it would be if I were me and you were you."

His legs wrap around her waist, calves locking her in—or at least trying to with his limited strength. Cock is teased against the entrance to his slit, not entering, just a smooth up and down that makes him quiver and whine like a bitch in heat. Leaning in with her hold on his hair still tight, Hircine nibbles at his ear, whispering as she does, "I love you, Husband."

He sharply intakes a breath at her words, responding in kind. "I love yo—"

Her cock slams inside of him hard, stopping any verbal formations as she rocks and ruts into his cunt aggressively, hips slapping against his bare ass in a powerful rhythm and digging her blunt nails into his slim waist so Astarion won't go tumbling over the front of the couch while her other hand keeps his hair coiled within her fist. Her grunts are barely audible above the wet smacking and Astarion's own high-pitched cries.

How could he ever complain about this not being enough? His cunt walls are strangling her cock, milking it for everything it has.

Pistoning in and out, Hircine's ploughs into Astarion giving him exactly what he so desperately wants while she slowly but surely reaches the precipice of an orgasm.

Thinking back on it now, Hircine cannot believe he has never bent her over a desk or table in their home. Gods, she wishes it were her right now. It's fun doing the fucking, but she prefers to be fucked.

And maybe it's a little too much for Astarion too when his moans turn to something she'd rather not hear.

"Oh, fuck me, Hircine! Fill me to the brim!" His cries of euphoria are sharp against her more sensitive ears, and she is thankful for the soundproofing of their walls. "Ah~! Ah~! Ah~! Pet, give me my come! Make me pregnant! I'll carry my own baby! Let me have it!"

Her brutal pace falters, mind reeling at the turn this has taken. What the fuck is he saying? Is he truly so consumed by his own cock that he would go this far?

Astarion continues with his insane ramblings, "Hircine, please! I need it inside me! Ah~! I'll grow round with child! Breed me! Think of how—"

His words are drowned out as Hircine panics. Nothing makes her dry up—er, go flaccid like talk of children. That is not something they want. He's lost it.

She slows further, looking for any solution because she would never tell Astarion to be quiet… but he needs to shut up or this will all end much too soon.

The lingerie! It's shredded but thank the gods Hircine threw it on the couch with little regard for where it might end up. Releasing her hold on his hair, Astarion falls forward, silenced for the moment while she snatches up the fabric, bundling it up into a ball. Right when he starts to turn in outrage, Hircine shoves the lingerie into his mouth.

In his typical scent-obsessed fashion, his eyes roll into the back of his head as he tastes any lingering wetness there. They can continue in peace.

Returning to burying herself inside of his cunt, which grows slicker by the second, Hircine finds that path of no return, ecstatic at knowing there's an end in sight. She drives with purpose, listening to Astarion's muffled, desperate moans that foretell he must be close too. Gods, nothing gets him off like soaked panties.

The dam is about to break, her cock kicks, ready to release, and Hircine will not stop it, but the build-up is too great.

She blacks out.

++++

Hircine comes to, pinched between a heavy pressure above and then a firm and unyielding object below. She lays face down, ass up in whatever extremely uncomfortable position this is, feet dangling from wherever she is, scalp tingling and her cunt—

What happened?

She tries to get up, but whatever is on top of her keeps her down, unmoving.

And something is… inside her.

Wait, inside?

Hircine's eyes snap open and she is herself once again. Oh gods, she might cry at the relief of feeling so comfortable and whole once again, especially with what she imagines is Astarion’s cock still buried inside her.

No wonder she's so achey down there. How on these material planes did he even complain about his penis? It's perfect!

She tries lifting her torso up, but Astarion's heavy, limp weight keeps her in place, and really, her strength has been sapped by all this wonderful activity. Hircine won't be moving around anytime soon. Her legs flail about, anything to give her some purchase, yet they find nothing. Hircine is stuck until her husband rouses from his stupor.

Are they returned for good, though? She does not believe she can handle the strain of switching back and forth for the rest of her days, no matter how much she loves Astarion.

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Ah! And Herma-Mora is back. Hircine never thought his inchoate chittering would be such a reassuring welcome.

There's no more hunger—of Astarion’s that is. She doesn't mind hers, at least it will go away with some bread and cheese.

He got his wish; she is bent in half, though Hircine did it to herself. Have they been here for long? Her legs are numbing from this position and pinch, and the frame of the couch is digging painfully into her hips while Astarion's body offers an unrelenting pressure to her backside.

How did he wake her up when he found them in the mines like this? A slap might be a little hard in this position… and she doesn't think she could ever hit him.

"Husb—" Her voice is a ragged croak. Hircine swallows and tries again, louder this time. "Husband! Wake up!"

A groan, then a subtle shift atop her follows, so Hircine shouts once more. "Husband, you're crushing me!!"

He lurches before propping himself up on his arms with a groan. "Uughh, what happened?" Then he springs to life, relieving Hircine of his crushing weight—though she might unhappily groan when his cock slips free of her over-sensitive cunt. "I'm me! Gods above, I'm me again!" He's crowing with excitement, probably running his hands along his body, remembering what it's like. As he should. He's a gorgeous piece of man.

"Oh, oh my, what's this beautiful sight?"

She doesn't know what he's referring to until Hircine feels the ghosting of Astarion's fingers across her arse, teasing down along the roundness until his cool fingers stroke at her lower lips. "You're leaking, pet. We can't have that."

Good gods… talk about a never-ending hunger.

A digit sinks inside of her, probably to push their combined spend spilling out back in and Hircine whines sweetly, but not before the sting of her hips returns in full force, reminding her of this great discomfort.

"Husband, you know I love it, but this position is hurting me…" She says, his fingers leaving her instantly. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything, what a way to ruin the moment.

Abruptly, she is pulled off the couch and into Astarion's embrace, kissing her forehead and nuzzling against her cheek. "I'm sorry, love, I got a little too excited."

He's so beautiful, exactly as he should be with his silver curls that catch the light, and eyes that crinkle so softly, sweetly, cutely, when he smiles. It wasn't even a whole day and she can't believe how much she missed that face.

She sighs in his strong arms, elated to be back to normal. "There is nothing to apologize for," but then she remembers his words when she was fucking him. "Actually, what in the hells were you on about? 'Breed me'? Did you lose you mind?"

He freezes, "I, uh, I don't know…" Astarion chews on his lip, lost. "It was like a fog of desire consumed me." His whole body is racked by a shiver.

"I feel like you cursed me." She places a hand over her stomach. "I'll ask Lexi to brew me some tea when she's back. Who knows what this-this switch has meddled with!"

"Good idea, my sweet. Give me a moment now." Dropping her like a sack of potatoes on the bed, Astarion disappears into the bathroom.

While he's gone, Hircine takes stock of her body. Not that she doesn't trust Astarion at all, but she wants to enjoy it and never take it for granted ever again. Every finger, toe and nail is accounted for. Her breasts are well played with, the hickey she left on one still there. How weird.

Rubbing her palms into her hips to soothe the burn from where she'd been pinned to the couch, Hircine waits for Astarion to return, ignoring the empty tenderness of her sex.

They might both be a little too hungry for one another.

Astarion reappears now, holding a damp washcloth in hand though he pauses on his way back, attention caught by something behind the privacy screen.

She wracks her brain for what it could be…

The mirror?

Oh. He finally, truly got to see himself after all this time, and it was only for a short while. Her heart twists for his loss. Hircine will find a way to make it up to him.

Back at their bedside, Astarion gently wipes away their combined fluids from her thighs and stomach, smiling as he does.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Oh, I'm just surprised at how messy it all was. I guess I don't really think about it when my head is between your legs feasting so not a drop is left…"

Hircine laughs, "You're right, men are so nice and dry. One of the few upsides."

"And miss out on that nectar? No, that is where you are wrong, my love, but I'll allow you to be wrong since there is more for me!" Astarion bends down, planting a smacking kiss against her lips.

"Fair enough, Husband."

Once cleaned off, Astarion slides into bed next to Hircine, layers of blankets draped over them and then he wraps his arms around her in a vice grip, and sure enough, his ear finds where her heart beats, strong and steady. "Mmm, I missed this."

"Me too…" Hircine whispers, snuggling closer.

They revel in the peaceful silence of being back in their bodies, everything righted once more.

Astarion leisurely runs a hand along her shoulder and under the swell of a breast, following the smooth lines of her abdomen to stop at a hip bone, finger just barely digging into the bone. "I've known it, but I never truly understood how fragile you are. If I'm too aggressive or pulling you around, please tell me. I hate the thought that I haven't treated you with enough care."

Her heart melts at his words while Hircine squeezes him tight, burying his head into her chest. "I swear you are only ever as rough as I request you to be. There is nothing to be concerned with, Husband."

"Alright. I-I just wanted to make sure." And never one to let sincerity settle between them for two long, Astarion rises, finding the hickey on her breast and wrapping his lips around it with a greedy growl. He's such a wonderfully puzzling creature sometimes.

"Say, would you like to get some more portraits done?" She asks, running her fingers through his messy curls.

His head whips up, red eyes all aglow. "Can we get some from different angles? Maybe a backside one, with me looking over my shoulder like I'm carrying a secret?" Astarion gasps, "Imagine waking up to a painting of my arse every day! Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"But then Lexi will see it too…"

"And it will be the finest piece of ass that old hag will ever get in her life. Maybe she'll be nicer when she knows I'm built like a god. And what about a nice, tasteful portrait of my cock?"

Hircine sticks her smile in place. "I don't think having your cock plastered on our walls is… tasteful…"

Astarion's face drops, looking like a scolded puppy. "It's because it's small, isn't it?"

"What? No! Oh my gods, fine! I'll make sure we find the finest painter in all of Faerun who specializes in… penises and then your likeness will be captured in perfect detail, bigness and all!"

His usual smirk returns, eyes cat-like and smouldering, and Hircine can't help but feel like she got played. "That's my perfect girl." He returns to his spot on her chest, purring contentedly. "I love this, and I love you."

"I love you too, Husband." She kisses his head, hopefully turning in for a well-earned rest that will be devoid of eldritch tricks.