#// keep on growing and striving to improve

[harmonyhealinghub]

Marching Forward: Embracing Progress and Growth Shaina Tranquilino March 1, 2024

The concept of "marching forward" encapsulates the essence of progress, resilience, and the unstoppable force of human determination. Much like a steadfast army advancing toward victory, marching forward is an expression of our collective will to overcome challenges, learn from experiences, and embrace growth. In this blog post, we explore the significance of marching forward and the transformative power it holds in our personal and collective narratives. Resilience in the Face of Adversity:

Life is replete with challenges and setbacks. However, the ability to march forward despite adversity is a testament to human resilience. Every stumble, failure, or obstacle encountered on our journey can be seen as an opportunity for growth. By facing challenges head-on and persisting through difficulties, we not only build resilience but also develop a deeper understanding of our capabilities. Learning from the Past:

Marching forward also involves a conscious reflection on the past. It's about acknowledging mistakes, learning from experiences, and using those lessons as stepping stones toward a better future. The past serves as a guide, providing valuable insights into what worked, what didn't, and how we can improve. By taking those lessons to heart, we can make informed decisions as we continue our march forward. Embracing Change and Innovation:

To march forward is to be open to change and innovation. In a rapidly evolving world, clinging to the status quo can hinder progress. Embracing change allows us to adapt, evolve, and stay ahead of the curve. Whether in personal growth or societal development, a willingness to innovate is key to navigating the complexities of the modern era. Setting Goals and Moving Toward Them:

A crucial aspect of marching forward is having a clear direction. Setting goals provides a sense of purpose and fuels our forward momentum. These goals act as beacons, guiding us through the journey of life. Whether they are personal aspirations, career objectives, or societal milestones, having a vision propels us toward continuous improvement. Collective Progress:

The power of marching forward is amplified when embraced collectively. Societal progress relies on the shared commitment of individuals to move forward together. As a united force, we can address global challenges, promote social justice, and create a better world for future generations. The strength of a community lies in its ability to march forward in solidarity.

In the symphony of life, the rhythm of marching forward is the heartbeat of progress. It embodies the spirit of resilience, the wisdom gained from experiences, the adaptability to change, the pursuit of goals, and the strength found in unity. As we navigate the uncharted terrain of our individual and collective journeys, let us remember that the act of marching forward is not just a physical movement; it is a mindset—a commitment to growth, improvement, and the relentless pursuit of a brighter future. So, let us lace up our metaphorical boots, face the challenges before us, and continue marching forward with unwavering determination.

[dreambunnynotes]

bunny's 60-day glow up challenge ❤︎

hi my loves! my birthday is right around the corner and i want to end the year strong, so i thought it would be a cute and encouraging idea to host a challenge for all of us glow-up girlies! the steps for the challenge are very simple and customizable, and they give plenty of space for low-energy days. this challenge is all about trying your best to remain consistent in your goals, not to strive for an impossible "perfection" but instead to build trust in yourself that you can show up for your beautiful self and achieve the glow up that you deserve!

steps for the challenge:

pick three habits or things you want to dedicate time to every day

write a sentence or two on why you want to focus on these habits so that you have motivation and inspiration to complete them on hard days; this could include a basic "why" or you could write out specific goals you'd like to achieve through these habits

write out three different energy level variations of the habits so you can achieve your habits even on low-energy days

optional step: write an intro post sharing your habits and goals with everyone! you can use the tag #bunny60days to connect with others doing the challenge and hype each other up with accountability and love - you can also tag me and i can cheer you on hehe! 🥰 otherwise you can simply keep track on your own using a journal or planner or whatever works best for you!

optional step: write daily (or weekly) check-in posts sharing what you accomplished on the different days of the challenge, what you'd like to improve on the next day, or just a general update on how you're feeling. remember that this is a feel-good challenge, not a shame-filled one, so be kind to yourself and use this reflection as a way to show compassion and empathy to yourself 💕 again, you can use the tag #bunny60days to track your progress and see how others are doing!

the only very important rule for this challenge:

if you fall off and don't complete every habit you've written down in a day, do not start the challenge over, just pick up from where you left off! remember, this challenge is about building self-trust and resiliency - this means that you won't let one bad day or break in a streak stop you from continuing your habits. being "strong and hardworking" doesn't mean doing everything perfectly from day one, it means picking yourself up when you fall off course and trying again even though you may feel imperfect.

why only three habits?

when we do challenges, it's so easy to want to accomplish everything all at once, from working out to sleep schedules to everything in between. however, when you eventually burn yourself out or don't complete everything on your super long list of habits, shame is bound to follow, and shame does not make healthy soil for a beautiful plant to grow. starting off with three habits with different energy levels is a good way to ease into habit building while still feeling challenging enough to be interesting.

i don't know where to begin! can you give me an example of some habits or goals?

absolutely! if you'd like an example, you can check out my own personal goals for the challenge here. i'll be participating too, so you know that you have at least one person joining you in your glow up! 🥰 there is also a blank template below for you to use for your own glow up adventure.

blank template for you:

my chosen habits:

-

-

-

my goals and why's:

habit one:

habit two:

habit three:

my habit energy tiers:

habit one:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

habit two:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

habit three:

low energy:

medium energy:

high energy:

let's do this! bunny xoxo

[st4rtar0t]

How will your future spouse describe you to their family and friends?

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Picture 1

(you might be attracted to pile 2)

Your future spouse will speak of you with a deep sense of admiration and respect. They will describe you as someone who is dedicated, hardworking, and constantly striving to grow and improve. To them, you are a person who puts their heart into everything they do, whether it’s your work, your passions, or your relationships. They will be proud of your determination, and they’ll often speak of how much they admire your focus and drive. They will also say that you have a sharp mind, someone who is quick, intelligent, and unafraid to speak up. You are not one to hold back when it comes to what you believe in, and you have a curious spirit that is always eager to learn and understand more about the world. Your future spouse will see you as someone who inspires others with your energy and clear sense of purpose. Yet, they will also acknowledge the times when you have faced struggles and hardships. They see the strength it has taken for you to rise above your challenges, and they admire your resilience. To them, you are not defined by your wounds, but by the way you have learned from them and grown stronger. Your journey, with all its ups and downs, is something they deeply respect, and they’ll often talk about how proud they are of your ability to endure and keep moving forward. At the same time, there is a softness about you that they will cherish. They will describe you as someone with a warm, nurturing heart, full of compassion and empathy. You have the ability to make others feel safe and understood, and this gentle side of you will be something they speak of with great fondness. To them, your kindness and emotional depth are rare gifts, and they will often share how much they treasure the love and care you show, not just to them, but to everyone around you. Most importantly, they will see you as a light in their life. You bring joy, warmth, and positivity, even on the darkest days. They will describe you as a person who has a way of making everything brighter, who reminds them of the beauty and goodness in the world. To their friends and family, they will say that you are their source of happiness, a beacon of hope, and a reason to smile. In their eyes, you are both strong and gentle, wise and playful, someone who makes the world a better place just by being in it.

Picture 2

(You might also want to read pile 1)

Both pile 1 and 2 have similar energy

Your future spouse would describe you as someone who carries a sense of completeness and grace, as if you bring everything full circle. To them, you are a guiding light, shining brightly even in the darkest moments, offering hope and a vision of what’s possible. They see you as someone who has a rare kind of strength, a quiet resilience that inspires not just them but everyone around you. In their eyes, you are honest, clear, and sharp-minded. They would tell others that you have a way of seeing through confusion, cutting through doubt, and speaking truthfully, even when the truth is hard to face. There is a wisdom about you that they deeply admire, a sense of purpose and understanding that sets you apart. You aren’t afraid to stand by your beliefs, and that consistency brings a sense of calm and stability to their life. They see the depth of your heart, knowing that you carry your own struggles and pain, yet you still manage to move forward with grace. They would share how you’ve faced difficult moments, yet instead of letting them break you, you’ve allowed them to shape you into someone even stronger. To them, this makes you both beautiful and deeply human, someone who knows the weight of sorrow but still chooses to hope and love. Your future spouse would speak of you as a person who brings balance and meaning to their life. You make them see things in a clearer light, helping them understand themselves and the world around them in a way they never did before. You have a kind of gentle wisdom, mixed with an unyielding strength, that they feel honored to have by their side. In their words, you are not just a partner but a presence that brings hope, truth, and a sense of purpose. They would share that knowing you has been a journey, one that has taught them more about love, resilience, and the quiet power of enduring through life’s storms. To them, you are a reflection of both strength and tenderness, someone who stands tall in their truth and yet, remains deeply compassionate.

Picture 3

Your future spouse will describe you as someone truly unique, a soul that carries a blend of lightness and depth. They'll tell their friends and family that you have a creative spirit, someone who sees beauty and possibility in the world around you. Your imagination knows no bounds, and it’s this quality that draws people to you, making them see the world through a new lens. They’ll speak of your transformative nature, how you have the power to change not only yourself but also the lives of those around you. When things seem stagnant or heavy, you bring a sense of renewal, a fresh perspective that breathes life into any situation. It’s as if you have the gift of turning difficult times into opportunities for growth, always finding a way forward. To them, you are not just a partner but a guiding light. They'll often mention how helpful you are, always ready to lend a hand or a kind word when someone needs it. They’ll describe you as someone who naturally nurtures and takes care of others, even when you sometimes forget to care for yourself. Your willingness to support and uplift those around you stands out to them, and they admire this selflessness deeply. At times, they might say that you have a tendency to neglect your own needs, getting so caught up in helping others that you forget to give yourself the same care. But it’s this very quality, this deep sense of empathy, that makes you so special to them. They will likely describe you as carefree, someone who doesn’t let life weigh them down too much, yet possesses a wisdom that runs deeper than what meets the eye. To them, you are more than just a lover; you are a soulmate, a friend, someone who understands them in ways others cannot. They will speak of how effortless it feels to be around you, how your presence brings them peace and comfort, as if you’ve known each other for lifetimes. And they will always smile when they mention how you bring a sense of joy and adventure to their life, a feeling of friendship that goes beyond the ordinary.

[natsgrave]

WHISPERS OF HEARTACHE | angstober

╰┈➤ synopsis: one day whether you are, 14, 28, or 65, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. however, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find is they are not always with whom we spend our lives.

╰┈➤ welcome and short message: main m.list hello, my sweet gravels! i am thrilled to welcome you to "whispers of heartache," a collection of angst-filled one shots centered around the compelling characters of natasha romanoff / scarlett johansson, wanda maximoff / elizabeth olsen, and a female reader. this book is a labor of love, crafted from my deep admiration for these characters and my passion for storytelling. in this book, you will find a series of emotionally charged stories that delve into the complexities of love, loss, and heartache. each one shot will be written in the third person point of view, offering a broad perspective on the intense and often tumultuous emotions experienced by the characters. i must share that english is not my first language. therefore, you may encounter some grammatical errors or awkward phrasing throughout the stories. i appreciate your understanding and patience as i strive to improve my writing skills. my goal is to convey the depth of emotions and the intricate dynamics between the characters, even if my language skills are still a work in progress. angst has a unique power to connect with readers on a deep, emotional level. it explores the raw, often painful aspects of human relationships and personal struggles. through these stories, i hope to capture the essence of what it means to love and to lose, to fight and to surrender. each tale is crafted to evoke empathy and reflection, inviting you to experience the characters' journeys as if they were your own. your reblogs and feedback is incredibly valuable to me. as i embark on this storytelling journey, i welcome your thoughts, suggestions, and constructive criticism. please feel free to leave comments and reviews. your input will not only help me grow as a writer but also ensure that the stories resonate with you, the readers. thank you for joining me in this exploration of the whispers of heartache. i hope that these one shots will touch your heart and leave a lasting impression. happy reading! warm regards, G.J ps: i will be adding the first few angst that i already wrote in this masterlist even though it's technically not part of this masterlist. but, it's angst, so...

╰┈➤ tolerate it

while you were out building other worlds, where was i? you assume i'm fine, but what would you do if i break free and leave us in ruins? ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x gf!reader

╰┈➤ new year's day

i want your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on new year's day. please, don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere. ── .✦ pairing: sister's bsf!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ midnight rain

she was sunshine, i was midnight rain. she wanted a bride, i was making my own name, chasing that fame. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ you're losing me

how can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'? do i throw out everything we built or keep it? and you know what they all say, you don't know what you got until it's gone. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ in the next lifetime

but in those photos, i saw us instead and, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other in another life. you still would've turned my head even if we'd met. you're always gonna be mine, we're gonna be timeless. ── .✦ pairing: general's son!steve x general's daughter!reader, maid!natasha x general's daughter!reader, scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the manuscript

the only thing that's left is the manuscript. one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. now and then i reread the manuscript but the story isn't mine anymore. ── .✦ pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader

╰┈➤ the smallest woman who ever lived

and i don't miss what we had, but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x ex hydra!reader

╰┈➤ favorite crime

i hope i was your favorite crime, 'cause baby, you were mine. ── .✦ pairing: bsf!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ mean it

on your lips just leave it, if you don't mean it. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x gf!reader

╰┈➤ love me nicely

i know you love me, but could you love me nicely? ── .✦ pairing: toxic!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ if the world was ending

i know, you know, we know, you weren't down for forever and it's fine. i know, you know, we know, we weren't meant for each other and it's fine. but if the world was ending you'd come over, right? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!wanda x fem!reader

╰┈➤ soulmate

what a shame, didn't want to be the one that got away. taking down the pictures and the plans we made. big mistake, you broke the sweetest promise that you never should have made. ── .✦ pairing: fiance!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ greatest what if

someday when you leave me, i bet these memories follow you around. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x fem!reader

╰┈➤ heart

i knew it from the first old fashioned, we were cursed. should've known i'd be the first to leave think about the place where you first met me. ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x crush!reader

╰┈➤ too late

words— how little they mean when you're a little too late. ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!steve, husband!bucky x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i miss you

now, i fear i have fallen from grace and i feel like my castle's crumbling down. ── .✦ pairing: actress!scarlett x actress!reader

╰┈➤ wedding

sometimes giving up is the strong thing, sometimes to run is the brave thing, sometimes walking out is the one thing, that will find you the right thing. the snaps from the same little breaks in your soul, you know when it's time to go. ── .✦ pairing: elizabeth olsen x event planner!reader

╰┈➤ last memory

if i didn't know better, i'd think you were talking to me now. if i didn't know better, i'd think you were still around. what died didn't stay dead, you're alive, so alive, in my head. ── .✦ pairing: agent!elizabeth x agent!reader

╰┈➤ thank you

why'd you have to lead me on? why'd you have to twist the knife? walk away and leave me bleedin'. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett johansson x fem!reader

╰┈➤ we both had our chance

i persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? ── .✦ pairing: avenger!natasha x avenger!reader

╰┈➤ i hate you

remembering her comes in flashbacks and echoes, tell myself it's time now gotta let go. but moving on from her is impossible, when i still see it all in my head, in burning red. ── .✦ pairing: shitty!scarlett x annoying!reader

╰┈➤ on bended knee

can we go back to the days our love was strong? can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong? can somebody tell me how to get things back the way they use to be? oh god give me a reason, i'm down on bended knee. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x actress!reader

╰┈➤ the cut that always bleeds

oh, i could be anything you need, as long as you don't leave. the cut that always bleeds. ── .✦ pairing: scarlett x gf!reader

╰┈➤ backburner

i'll always be in your corner, 'cause i don't feel alive 'til i'm burnin' on your backburner. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x agent!reader

╰┈➤ the great war

we can plant a memory garden, say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair. there's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back. ── .✦ pairing: actress!elizabeth x gf!reader

╰┈➤ enough for you

and maybe i'm just not as interesting as the girls you had before but god, you couldn't have cared less about someone who loved you more. 'cause all i ever wanted was to be enough for you and all i ever wanted was to be enough for you. ── .✦ pairing: agent!natasha x insecure!reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ to be written:

╰┈➤ 1 step forward, 3 steps back

do you love me, want me, hate me? boy, i don't understand. no, i don't understand.

╰┈➤ better woman

i know the bravest thing i ever did was run.

╰┈➤ strange

isn't it strange how people can change. from strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and strangers again?

╰┈➤ lose you to love me

we'd always go into it blindly, i needed to lose you to find me. this dancing was killing me softly, i needed to hate you to love me.

╰┈➤ almost is never enough

almost is never enough, so close to being in love. if i would have known that you wanted me, the way i wanted you then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart, but right here in each other's arms.

╰┈➤ wish you were sober

kiss me in the seat of your rover, real sweet, but i wish you were sober.

╰┈➤ same ground

because i have learned that love is beyond what human can imagine, the more it clears, the more i have to let you go.

╰┈➤ the way i loved you

but i miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain and it's 2 a.m. and i'm cursing your name. so in love that you act insane and that's the way i loved you.

╰┈➤ champagne problems

your mom's ring in your pocket, her picture in your wallet, you won't remember all my champagne problems.

╰┈➤ last kiss

you told me you loved me, so why did you go away?

╰┈➤ maroon

the burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me and how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was. the mark you saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones, the lips i used to call home, so scarlet, it was maroon.

╰┈➤ loml

you said i'm the love of your life about a million times.

╰┈➤ consequences

loving you was sunshine, safe and sound, a steady place to let down my defenses but loving you had consequences.

╰┈➤ casual

i thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose.

╰┈➤ illicit affairs

they show their truth one single time but they lie, and they lie, and they lie a million little times.

╰┈➤ forever and always

oh back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything? back up, baby, back up, did you forget everything?

[sunlit-mess]

you are criminally underrated. *holds out hands like a sad victorian child* any tips for a young artist? :)

im a very. tired. artist.

To aspiring artists, I'm not sure what 'tips' or advice I can give that were not already said by another. However, I'll remind you anyway.

"There's no secret to art... just begin and keep going. That's all we can do."

Always set your pace, and take your time learning. Art is something that isn't rushed, rather it grows through experience. Think of it like exp points or something, the more you gain, the more you know and skills acquired. It doesn't mean you HAVE to abide by the principles or rules either, though it's best to know them. Knowledge comes in different ways and your method is yours to explore.

As for motivation, it's something you'd find attached to, a mission and values thing per se. Find your dedication, how will you strive, how much are you willing to pursue. What keeps you going? What WILL keep you determined?

We take criticism critically: Don't get your ego attached to every work, everyone has their own perspective. What I mean to say is to understand errors and find improvement. Be HONEST with yourself and your work. Nothing is ever wrong in art, hell- even the most fucked-up ones can look so beautiful and meaningful.

In social media or sharing artworks, it's cool to show them to your friends or relevant platforms your craft would be in, just gotta learn the long process of algorithm somehow... It's a pain, but never lose confidence! Believe in yourself. Even the tiniest of work, effort is counted as special. Because it's from you!

Lastly, enjoy what you do! Have fun once in a while, and best that you find fun all the time in your crafts! You create for a cause and not just to please. Art shouldn't be a cause to break you, rather it builds you.

I hope this message is enough? ::)

I've been drawing since I was young, now as an adult- my art is meh compared to other artists out there, but I still try my best to keep my mark around.

So much has happened in my life and I'm still VERY lost, especially in a path as an 'Artist'. Though, I fell off in art, burned out, and relapsed more than I can count,

nothing or no one can kill the part of me that just wants the world to see that I can still... Create.

[windcarvedlyre]

Thinking about Venti's role as an archon and how he might be doing his job- as Celestia intended- better than we think.

Archons, in Gnosticism, rule over the material realm and prevent souls from leaving it. Barbatos, in the Ars Goetia, "reconciles disputes between friends and those who hold power".

Everything we know about Venti implies that he hates Celestia and opposes all forms of tyranny, but if their goal is to keep humanity from advancing, realising the truth of the world and taking actions that could threaten the status quo...

...isn't the best way to prevent rebellions and slow progress to make the people you rule content with what they have?

Venti is all about making his people's lives leisurely and seemingly free (I'll get to that in a second). It's in his gemstone quote, the thing which summarises his approach as an archon:

"Still, the winds change direction. "Someday, they will blow towards a brighter future… "Take my blessings and live leisurely from this day onward."

We see this reflected in Mondstadt's culture and economy. There are still hardworking individuals in the Knights of Favonius, the Church of Favonius and the Adventurer's Guild, but this attitude isn't universal even within those organisations and the rest of Mondstadt's people generally have a slow, relaxed approach to life relative to other nations. They haven't produced any internationally notable industries outside of alcohol, and why would they? They have everything they need, graciously provided by the anemo archon himself*, so why strive for more?

This has already left them vulnerable to the whims of more powerful nations, incapable of meaningfully opposing the Fatui without inviting consequences they can't handle.

*Also see Jean's story quest for a scaled-down version of this. Mondstadt's general population relies on her hard work a bit too much and she enables them.

We also see Mondstadt have a softening effect on outsiders multiple times in-game. There are at least three cases of people questioning their life choices because its people and/or scenery are that nice. Two are branches of hangout events, one is a soon-to-be-ex treasure hoarder chilling on Cider Lake's coast. I've joked that Mond is a lotus eater hotel scaled up to a nation based on this, but what if that's somewhat intentional?

But why would he do this?

It could be an unintended side effect of efforts to improve people's quality of life. He was allegedly naive enough not to forsee the aristocracy situation, after all. But at the same time... he's a god of freedom and hope in a world where his people have no hope of freedom.

-Harmost's Notes (II), Remuria.

He knows what happens to human civilisations that advance too far and attempt to rebel against this world. He likely knows a god much like him, themed around music and desperate to free his people from fate, tried and failed horribly. He lives in the shadow of a celestial needle. The Cataclysm would only reinforce this perceived futility of resistance. He still hopes for a brighter future, but he may be pinning all of his hopes on a descender taking pity on Teyvat's people and choosing to help them. To quote the description of Mondstadt Statues of the Seven:

A monumental stone statue that watches over Mondstadt. Legends say that it was sculpted in the image of the Anemo Archon. "Seeds brought by the wind will grow over time." The statue silently anticipates the arrival of a noble soul to arrive, while thousand winds of time will soon unfold a new story...

Apart from that, what else can he do besides be passive and complacent? Besides make his people comfortable and hope they don't rock the boat too much before liberation is actually possible?

And the thing about resolving disputes with those in power worries me. It could just translate into his pacifism, but it could also mean he's less willing to act against Celestia than we'd hope. Why did the Tsaritsa, the only archon named after a saint and willing to take a stand against Celestia, fall out with him? He has reasons to be pissed at her methods but I suspect that won't be the only factor.

All we can do is wait and see.

[sufferu]

I was asked for a snippet from the Dogshow series. I have delivered. As the exact scene was not specified, I decided for myself.

Dogshow: No Way Home

____

[“But no matter how pathetic I was, you and Mom still treated me the same as always,” Subaru said. “That’s what scared me most of all…”]

“They…” Emilia choked out. “They really did…They really did love him, didn’t they…?”

Otto thought of his own parents, and how patient they had been with him for all those years. He swallowed, fighting back tears.

“Those bushes there really are fascinating!” Anastasia was saying loudly. “They look just like some of the foliage we have back here, don’t they?! I wonder if maybe there’s been some cross-barrier transport of — of seeds or something! Or perhaps it’s just the convergent evolution Hoshin once described at work—”

[“I wanted you to say, ‘I don’t love you.’ ‘I despise you.’ ‘You’re not my son.’”]

“…What?” Ram croaked. Rem watched silently from beside her, carefully stone-faced as she watched this tragedy unfold. “Subaru, you wanted…what?”

Subaru didn’t answer. He had stopped moving a while ago. He was staring at the metia, unable to look away from his father’s face.

“I mean, really!” Anastasia continued loudly, a frantic edge to her voice. Mimi was nodding along theatrically from beside her. “I wonder if we could cross-breed exact replicas of those — what did you call them, Subaru?! Sakura trees?! If those bushes’ similarities really are just the result of convergent evolution, then—! I mean, I know for a fact we have trees very similar to those sakuras in Kararagi, so it’s not all that far off to conclude that we might be able to—!”

[“I wanted you to tell me that and throw me out. I wanted you to make me give up.”]

“…Oh, fuck,” Anastasia managed, finally unable to avoid listening to the conversation.

Next to her, Julius made a horrible, horrible noise.

Onscreen, Subaru continued to speak about how he had grown past these feelings. How he had found a way to live for himself, to start striving to better himself — and how the people he had met since had allowed him to do so. But Ricardo couldn’t focus on any of that, because all he could think was that THIS was the version of Subaru that his parents remembered.

A young boy, on the cusp of their culture’s idea of adulthood, who had suddenly retreated into his shell amidst disapproval from his peers. Who’s difficulties in interacting with others HADN’T been due to a difference in culture after all, with him struggling so much to make and keep his friends even back home that eventually he had felt that he had no choice but to give up in that pursuit entirely. Who had fled from his duties as a scholar and holed himself up in his room, refusing to leave for any reason except to eat. Who was constantly waiting for his two parents who loved him very much to revoke that affection out of frustration and throw him out.

Who was just waiting for an excuse to go and end himself, giving up for good.

Ricardo suddenly thought about Ana-bo. He wasn’t her biological father, but he had — he had bathed her, and fed her, and secured her work, and fought to protect her from unsavory types, and watched her grow up from a little orphan brat into a strong, capable woman. He had known her, and he had loved her, and she had become — family, to him, most definitely. In a sense, perhaps she could be considered his daughter after all.

What would he have done, if Ana-bo had — sometime on the cusp of adulthood — had withdrawn into herself so completely and utterly that she refused to socialize with anyone unless she were forced to do so? That she no longer tried to work, or learn new things, or improve her skills, but instead escaped into storybook after storybook about being whisked away to a place where she could be someone, anyone other than who she had been before? That she curled up in the corner of her room and waited for Ricardo to throw her out on the street, because then she would finally have an excuse to — to finally go and fucking kill herself?

Stop it, Ricardo hissed at himself. But he couldn’t stop.

He wouldn’t have let it get that first in the first place, first of all: he would have dragged Anastasia out of her room by force and force-fed her a decent lifestyle, if need be. In fact, part of him thought that Subaru’s father had been somewhat useless in that regard: had there really been nothing his old man could do to stop him from crawling into his shell and refusing to come out for several months on end? But even if there wasn’t anything he could do about it, he wouldn’t have abandoned her. Even if he were going by Kararagi’s age of adulthood being 15 where — Japan, it was called — their age appeared to be 18, he still would have known her for four, five full years, and that had been more than enough for him to start caring about her more deeply than he had ever expected being able to care about anyone. What would he have done instead? Well, the answer had to be “whatever he could.”

But then, what would he have done, if — in the middle of a depressive spiral so severe — Anastasia had vanished into the night without a trace? He would look for her, obviously. He’d spare no expense, either, and — and he’d keep a tally of every cent he spent, so that when he finally found her again he could shove the receipt in her face and tell her that she was going to work to earn back every last bit in order to make up for scaring him so badly. But then — if he never found her — he’d never stop looking, would he? Or maybe he’d be forced to stop? But then he’d still be waiting, and he’d still be putting up posters and asking for leads, and as the years passed he’d be thinking of what she might look like now, how she might have aged, what sort of life she might be living far away from home, hoping against hope that she hadn’t actually gone and—

But the reality would be worse.

It would have been better if this hypothetical Ana-bo had been given the mercy of a quick death, on her own terms. It would be better if Ana-bo had died just once. It would be better if she didn’t have to experience — being slit open and bled out, being drained of all her energy bit by bit, being thrown down a hallway and crushed by a giant flail in a place where she was supposed to be safe, being tortured by someone she had thought she could trust in the woods where nobody could hear her cry, being attacked by a pack of vicious, wild animals, being publicly humiliated and beaten half to death for the crime of being a brat in the wrong place at the wrong time, being forced to witness the corpses of all of the people she had grown to care about and told that it was all her fault, being kidnapped and tortured in a cave by a madman, being turned away as she begged and pleaded and prostrated herself for help, being chased by a vicious monster intent on erasing her from existence, being frozen to death bit by bit as a vengeful spirit forced her to suffer through every second, being possessed and forced to beg for a mercy kill right when it looked like the world was about to turn out alright, being blown up, being forced to watch as her support network was shattered behind her back once again as her closest friend was erased from everyone’s mind but her own, being forced to suffer again and again and again without an end in sight—!

Was it a mercy, that Natsuki Kenichi would be forced to conclude that his only son had gone and killed himself? Was it a mercy, that he would never find out the truth of what his child was being forced to endure in his absence? Was it a mercy, was it an injustice, what the actual FUCK was this horrible, horrible—!

“Ricardo?”

With slow, jerky movements, Ricardo turned to face Ana-bo. She was watching him with large, worried eyes. She had been so upset a second ago, staring at that metia with a slack jaw as she made a miserable choking sound, and here she was pushing that aside for his sake. How could he have ever deserved—!

“Mmph!”

Ana-bo made a startled noise as Ricardo practically dove for her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling him tight to his chest so that nobody could ever take her from his side. Normally she would protest this action greatly. But now, after a moment of shocked silence, that wise, kind, clever, wonderful daughter of his hugged him back.

“Ya don’t need to cry,” Ana-bo murmured. “‘M not going anywhere.”

In truth, Ricardo hadn’t even noticed that his cheeks were wet. He didn’t have it in him to be ashamed. All he could do was clutch her close and wait for the shaking to subside, bit by bit.

…If it were Anastasia, Ricardo would have prayed for someone to be looking after her in a situation like this. Father to father, he could do the same for Subaru’s old man if need be.

—Though, from the look on Wilhelm’s face, Ricardo wondered if his own involvement would even be necessary.

Wilhelm had his hands raised to cover his mouth in a decidedly uncharacteristic display, so horrified he was by the reveal of the prior state of that young boy. Subaru had… Subaru had…

This wasn’t what he had expected. A young, dumb boy who got into mischief perhaps a little too often for his own good, sure. But a youth who had shrank away from everything so completely, so utterly, that he had really begun to think that there was no future for him at all—!

What a horrible thing for a father to hear from his son. What an awful thing for a son to voice aloud — or to feel, in the first place. Wilhelm had seen blood and carnage and despair on the battlefield, but for some reason it was now that horrified nausea twisted his insides into knots.

“I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! No! No! Help me! No! I don’t want to die!”

Subaru hadn’t REALLY wanted to die. But — had he not fully understood that, back then? How could he not have known—!

(Wilhelm did not think of his own son, who…may have been left in a similar state. For all of his courage on the battlefield, the Sword Demon could not bring himself to think about that.)

[“FATHER HEADBUTT!!!”]

[Natsuki Kenichi slammed an axe kick down on the head of his beloved only son.]

Julius squawked loudly, abruptly snapped out of his horrified silence. Next to him, Mimi’s despaired expression shifted as she — mercifully — broke into peals of laughter.

[“A lot of what you just said bothers me, but you know what’s the worst?” Kenichi was scolding, suddenly rather serious. “You wanted me to hate you, so you tried to achieve that by playing hookey? Are you dumb?! And if you want to get me to throw you out, pick a more active method! Who would ditch their own kid just because he retreated into his shell?!”]

Ricardo — relaxed, just the slightest bit. At least…at least that old man had told it to him straight. Right?

[“You’re so twisted, you’re on the fast track to being an idiot!” Kenichi cracked his knuckles, grinning. “I’d be glad to set you straight by force if you want…”]

Wilhelm chuckled weakly, trying desperately to force down his turmoil and keep it cool. “Perhaps…Perhaps all fathers have that attitude, even beyond the Great Waterfall…”

Ferris said nothing. Ferris hadn’t moved an inch since the reveal that Subaru had been waiting for an excuse to go and die. Wilhelm didn’t…know what to do.

[“…But it looks like you’ve already been knocked down and stood yourself back up, so there’s no need.” Kenichi’s voice had softened, his fist relaxing into a hand he extended downwards to pull his son back up. Subaru smiled as he accepted it.]

“They really did love him,” Crusch echoed softly. “Didn’t they?”

Anastasia stared wordlessly at the interaction. A very personal sense of loss gnawed at the heart of the former hyena — and a sense of despair at the dawning realization of just how fucked up this situation really was seemed to take over her mind like an invasive species of poisonous flowers.

She reached forward and pulled all three triplets into her lap, hugging them close.

[“Remember what I said?” Subaru was saying. “I found a girl I like. Plus, there's a girl who said she loved me, despite the way I am. And neither one of them knows I'm the son of Natsuki Kenichi. In their eyes, I'm just Natsuki Subaru.” He sighed aloud. “No, in all of their eyes…I was Natsuki Subaru. I finally figured that out.”]

[“It took you long enough. You’re just now coming around to saying all this? I should whack you.”]

Emilia stared at the screen, eyes dull and faded. Rem’s were much the same. On one hand, it was wonderful to be told that Subaru had achieved something so precious due to their influence. It was perhaps the greatest compliment either of them could receive.

But, on the other hand…

[“Um,” Subaru was saying, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Sorry about putting you through—”]

[“If you feel sorry, all you gotta do is take your time making it up to us.” Kenichi grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Take good care of me and your mom when we’re old, my eldest son.”]

In the present moment, Subaru finally made a noise.

It was soft, and quiet, and very hoarse — but Beatrice, who had not taken her eyes off of him once, noticed all the same. “Subaru…?”

Subaru’s pupils had shrunk even past their usual states, his whole body shaking as he stared up at the metia in horror. Tears were staring to bud in the corners of his eyes. More horrible croaking noises were leaving his throat. One by one, the people of the audience turned to see what was going on.

“…Natsuki-san, please—” Otto said, the first to reach out. “It’s alright. It’ll— It’ll be alright—”

“Please don’t cry,” Emilia agreed, unusually gentle. “Please, not…” Not while we can’t hold you.

[The Subaru onscreen had already started to cry. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I— I’m sorry. I can’t— I-I'm sorry! I won't be able to make anything up to you before…” He finally, properly burst into tears. “I will never see you again!”]

As that cold reality was voiced aloud, the Subaru in the present finally sobbed — and with that first step, the entire dam seemed to shatter until there was nothing left for him to do but fall to the floor with a thump, curl into a ball, and wail in despair.

“Subaru—!” Julius cried out, trying desperately to hold back his own tears at the horrible sight.

“Subaru-dono, please!” Wilhelm tried to say, reaching forward to try and ease his cries. His hands met glass. “We’re right here, please just—!”

[“I-I’m sorry!” Subaru apologized, over and over again as his sobs grew and grew and grew. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”]

“I-I’m sorry,” Subaru echoed weakly, tears streaming down his face to form a puddle under his cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanna— I wanna go home—!”

Beatrice choked back a cry of despair of her own. “Subaru—!”

[“No matter how much time passes, you’re still such a handful, son.” Kenichi sighed, but he was smiling as he rubbed a bawling Subaru’s back. “Sheesh…”]

The current Subaru had no such comfort to be given to him. Nobody could reach him, no matter how badly they wanted to, no matter how hard they tried. All there was left for him to do was wail and wail and wail as the horrible despair surrounding his untimely departure collapsed on him anew.

[the-clumsywitchtarot]

Pick-an-Image Tarot Reading: How Can You Improve Yourself?

Because we're all striving to be our best selves, right?

Cards

10 of Swords

Queen of Swords (Reversed)

3 of Wands (Reversed)

Knight of Cups (Reversed)

I feel like this pile holds on to things well after it is done and over with, you're the kind of person that will replay things over and over again in their mind to try and figure out what went wrong with a situation. And you try to think of ways that you could've possibly prevented an ending, whether it be a friendship, a departure from a job, or the ending of a romantic relationship. This is one way you can improve, by realizing sometimes things are just meant to end and that there is nothing either you or anyone else involved could have done to change the outcome of the situation. With the Knight of Cups in reverse I feel like you are someone that has deep emotions but tries to avoid showing them to avoid being looked at as weak (I'm even hearing to avoid being looked at as feeble minded too). If you feel the need to hide your emotions from others that's one thing but please be mindful that you aren't hiding your emotions so well that you forget to experience them at all. With the 3 of Wands in reverse it feels like you can get so hung up on the past and what could've been that you forget that you still have the opportunity and privilege to live the life you want in this present moment. In summary you can improve your life by realizing all past situations and mistakes are done and when you find yourself reflecting on them. Instead of thinking how things could've been different, think about what positive things you can utilize from those past situations. And remember, those things ended for you to become the best version of yourself not wallow in what could've been.

Cards

8 of Pentacles

Judgment

The High Priestess (Reversed)

8 of Swords

This pile actually feels like it needs to enjoy the work that they've already put into themselves. Of course we're always supposed to be evolving and growing but we still deserve to take time to appreciate how far we've come. There are times when our growth and evolution needs to happen actively and we need to put in work and effort and there are times when it happens passively and we're just evolving by living life. I feel like you're at one of those points where you are supposed to be passively evolving but instead you are constantly trying to force growth and self development. It feels like you are one of those people that has an "enough is never enough" mindset but you really might want to to consider sitting back and taking some time to look at just how far you've come. With The High Priestess in reverse and the 8 of Swords I feel like you are a very intuitive person but that you don't trust your intuition as much as you should. In this reading I feel like the 8 of Swords represents logic and you feeling bound by it, thinking it is irrational to make decisions by intuition alone. I feel like you are someone that will intuitively know the right path to take but choose a path based on logic and end making the wrong decision. Then beating yourself up for not following your gut in the first place. This is really the only thing I can see that you need to improve, listening to your intuition and not just logic.

Cards

3 of Wands (Reversed)

Queen of Swords (Reversed)

King of Cups

4 of Wands

It's really strange, all of the cards except for one (4 of Wands) came out with the image facing the table. Because of that and the 4 of Wands being the only card that fell out with the image facing upright it makes me feel like this pile is looking to improve themselves to find a long term partner or because of a long term partner. If that is the case please make sure you are trying to improve yourself because you actually want to not just because you feel you need to to find or keep a romantic partner. I feel like the greatest way you can improve yourself at this time is by realizing your self worth and learning how to regulate your emotions. I feel like this group is one that is prone to becoming frazzled and emotionally overwhelmed, this could lead to you lashing out at those around you or becoming passive aggressive. Not much is coming through for the self worth bit but it just felt like something that needed to be mentioned. Consider the idea of going to therapy, for some reason I feel like group therapy could be beneficial for this pile but of course you and a mental health professional should make the ultimate decision on that.

I hope you enjoyed your reading and please feel free to let me know what pile/image you chose and/or what you thought of the reading in the comments!

Note: Please do not make any decisions that you feel uncomfortable with based on this reading. Always let your decisions be your own.

- Erika, The Clumsy Witch

[mono-dot-jpeg]

your strongest potions, shopkeeper! - blue lock

summary; in which you (the reader, not y/n) learn of the tales of rafta

genre/extra tags; scenarios?, heavily inspired by potionomics (great game), characters as potionomics characters, fluff, comedy, modern fantasy au (technically), lots of potionomics references and fantasy talk, y/n a little stupid but it's fine.

a/n; hi, i've been playing potionomics nonstop lately and it's been on my mind and I already miss my silly baptiste. he's so babygirl. and naturally, why not smush my current interests together now since I got the idea in my mind already. i wont be discussing all the characters in the game and matching them with bllk boys unfortunately as im having a hard time wondering who would be who. tbh, a lot of them could probably apply to one character KHDJDKDJ

the ingredient merchant is a teasing one. he's dry, calculating, and more than willing to add fuel to a fire during a heated conversation. but he would never do that with you. but he does live to tease you with his dry remarks and his smug grin. but he's the one who helps supply your potion ingredients, though. you don’t really know how... but you decide not to question it.

karasu tabito is a clairvoyant. he has his large all-seeing orb, which he's told you that it's how he finds all his connections to get all these ingredients. and then he's got his little chest mimic. maybe not that little.. it's bigger than a chair. and he can sit on it like a large ottoman.

he's kind of mysterious despite being one of your first friends you've made in rafta. he doesn't talk a lot of his past, and he appreciates that you don't press hard about it.

he's probably been by your side since the start, watching your growth to defeat the competition in the potion-making industry.

you fell for him first, but he totally fell harder.

"you know i've been getting a lot of visions of a person lately. from my orb." he started. "i see your...stupid face in them." he looks away from you, the large brim of his warlock hat covering the subtle blush on his cheeks. he curls in on himself slightly, resting against his floating all-seeing orb. "you.. see me? wait, does that mean i'm gonna die soon?!" you panic, flinching back at the possible implications of him seeing you in his visions. "god, you're such an idiot. i mean, yeah, we all die someday, but this.. is different. it means.. that i like you." he grumbled. "so, what are you gonna do about it?" "hm.. can i kiss you then?"

the guild master is a man of the people... despite being born with a silver spoon in his mouth. he means well. he strives to make the blue lock guild thrive! he wants to support the amazing adventurers who supply and give their recent monster loot to the potion makers who keep them alive with their adventure commissions. but it's been hard for him, really. he's been so disconnected from the normal life that he doesn't understand low class or middle-class struggles as well as most would.

mikage reo is a man who wishes to experience what most people already have. he's sick of the cushy rich life of having everything (though his mother still sends him a care package of out-of-your-budget hair care). he's a sight for sore eyes, catching plenty of attention from anyone and everyone. he's a gentleman whilst being a little.. passionate (is passionate the right word?) about his experiences and his goal to improve the guild to its rightful peak. he's also the announcer for the potion contests in rafta! he's never biased in those. i promise. (/gen)

like how he's watched you grow to be a masterwork potion maker, you've watched slowly shed free of his insecurities of the past and worrying over not being a great guild master.

he's sweet, a little eccentric, and more than an open book than he realizes. he's loyal to his goal even if the seasoned adventurers give him side eye about his past and lack of proper qualifications to handle a guild.

you fell for each other just as hard as the other.

"lately, i've been going through quite a lot as i learn how to navigate this new life. it's been stormy skies and rough seas..." he said with a sad smile, but it turns into something more softer and happier, "but you've been there for me and had so much faith in my plans." "some days i want nothing more than to go back to luxury. to relax and be free from work." he said with an annoyed frown. "luxury and riches are nice." you nodded. "but you helped me and showed me things i have never experienced." he smiled brightly. "and for that, i found myself falling for you." he pulls out a bright red rose, handing it to you. "do you want to hear the love my heart has to offer to you?" you gently take the rose with your fingertips, "i already hear it loud and clear."

the excitable new hero that was part of the guild was a fun one! he was a hero enthusiast, wanting to become a hero himself because of it. and he made it all the way to rafta! and now he helps gather new ingredients for you, ready for any dangerous adventure. he's absolutely an excited puppy. he loves doing anything as long as it was adventurous! sometimes if he was feeling really crazy, he would try the flavor of the day in the local ice cream parlor. (he cried the day he got his least favorite flavor, mozuku)

he's been kind of hung up on wanting a trophy or large weapon. so many heroes had them, so he should get one! he has to be a great hero after all! but in your eyes, he was already rather great at what he did. he's swifter than a bee and stung like one too. he seemed to have this innate talent for fighting and being adventurous. he just didn't seem to believe it when he was surrounded by hero legends or higher ranked heroes.

he's been your most supportive customer, often visited for plenty of potions or maybe a quick large order. sometimes he gives you a discount for his commissioned work out on the field.

you didn't fall for him at least, but boy, did he fall for you hard.

"it's silly, wanting to have a trophy or weapon to show off for your success." he said softly. "but i really did want one. i wanted to show that i was a great hero, you know?" he laughed sheepishly. "you might not have found one, but you really did prove yourself along the way. you're pretty high ranked, aren't you?" "yeah, it just feels weird to not have anything to show for it.." he smiled wistfully before it melts into a softer grin. "but hearing you say that i proved myself, it makes me feel so much better!" he groaned childishly, "but still! believing in yourself is hard." "well, it's easy for me to believe in you. it's probably the easiest thing i could do." he goes quiet, looking at you with adoration before blurting out, "can i kiss you?"

the succubus currently living in your literal hell of a basement is certainly a character. you had beat him in the potion-making competition and he outed himself as a demon. which wasn't much of a shocker to you, considering his less than savory scams he did with his potions. but even so, he was considerably skilled in charms and illusions more than potions. he just needed some cash.

but now that he's lost, he had found solace in your unfinished cave basement.. that had a whole river of lava running through?! you curse your uncle ego for having such an odd home that's left for you to handle. so, you unwillingly take in the damn demon before he runs amok ruining other poor souls. he's charming. you'll give him that much. he often sells you illusions and charms that would help your potions sell better. and he even gives you some pointers on how to charm the customers into letting their guard down for a great profit. he's been looking for a place to belong in a while, and your home seems to fit that bill as much as he hates to admit. he's rowdy, flirty, invasive, most things that you don't really want to have around (especially since he unsealed the magic barrier that was keeping you safe from the heat of the lava).

but overtime, you seem to find yourself liking the odd presence of him. or maybe he had unintentionally put a charm on you. you may never know.

you fell first, he fell right after.

"you know i really saw you as a threat to my business and all." he said. "it really wasn't love at first sight." he laughed. "but you're still you, even after all your big decisions to change. still the same wrecking ball that crashed into my shop and right into my basement." "i was petty about a lot of things for a long time. many many years probably. when my own home got destroyed. i was just surviving to the next day." he said, frowning slightly. "but i changed. i changed to find my way to you." "now, you're thriving." "i really am thriving. and now, whatever i decide to do with my life. i want you by my side." "i want that too." "then show me, dear."

[honeytonedhottie]

the happy pill⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🧁

maintaining joy and building a lifestyle or habits that can sustain joy is important for mental health. even though circumstances may arise, im a firm believer that hope is possible and you can be happy.

POSITIVITY ;

if ur someone with a negative mindset in general and you wanna change it to a more positive mindset here are some ground rules..

let the little things slide - don't worry about the little things, dont stress over something that isn't worth stressing over. that includes letting the little things that you have done slide too. dont beat yourself up about something that you've done before. thinking "ugh why'd i do that" is useless. instead, flip that thought to "what can i do to improve if i find myself in that situation again".

surround urself with things that spark positivity - surround urself with things that u love and the things that make you smile. and enjoy the little things/tasks that u do. ROMANTICIZE.

giving out some -> reaping double - when u give out positivity. encouraging words, compliments, even a simple smile, you get that DOUBLED. it actually helps so much to be sweet to others and compliment others and its even sweeter for you bcuz it brings so much happiness.

TAKING YOUR POWER BACK ;

dont give anyone or anything the power to make you unhappy. ofc there are circumstances that are unique to everyone but in general dont let someone else's bitterness or negativity influence ur own happiness. protect your energy. bcuz you are responsible for making u happy.

REFLECT ;

have self identity audits every now and then to keep yourself in check. to make sure that ur following thru with ur goals or that ur balancing ur distractions properly. and also, reflect on whats constantly draining ur joy or what u are doing to drain ur joy. some things that can drain you include..

social media detox - although social media has lots of positives, we cannot ignore the negatives. social media provides a false sense of connection that we crave (cuz human beings are social creatures) so taking a break from social media every now and then a couple times a year rly improves ur mental health in the long run.

some things that can feed into ur joy can include..

gratitude - practicing gratitude without comparing your own achievements to someone else's. just being present and grateful for what u have.

laughter - learn to laugh and smile at things instead of getting worked up about it. laughing is such a mood booster.

literally ANYTHING, you know urself best and u know what makes you happy and what makes u smile so whatever it is that does that for you, DO that.

DO THINGS THAT ARE REFRESHING ;

doing things that are refreshing and replenish ur energy is a game changer for ur mental and emotional state and happiness. some refreshing things to do alone include..

watching the sunset/sunrise

meditation

journalling

practice self care

do something that u used to love doing

dance (it helps mentally too, taking u from rigid -> fluid)

DISTRACTIONS ;

when your constantly striving for perfection and you put all this pressure on urself, you'll end up growing into a bitter person, and thats not hot. so allow yourself to have distractions and have experiences and try new things bcuz thats what life is about.

however go about this with DISCERNMENT. allow yourself to have distractions that aren't harmful to you or others. an example of an unhealthy or harmful distraction is drinking. you can enjoy those things but enjoy them SAFELY. dont be too uptight with yourself and LET YOURSELF LIVE. but in that same breath protect yourself and get rid of whats taking away from ur happiness.

[softerglow]

confidence building tips

i'm probably going to make in depth posts on a couple of these, so let me know if there's anything specific you want me to elaborate on. wishing love and prosperity to all <3

stand up for yourself. if you find that someone's talking down to you or making backhanded comments, shut it down politely. the first couple of times it will be hard but this will build amazing trust with yourself, which is an amazing boost to your confidence.

practice body neutrality. stop letting yourself speak and think badly of your body, it only inspires further insecurity. correct any mean statements you make about your features by replacing them with a positive. make a point of writing down things you like about your body and what your body does for you. stop consuming media that causes you to compare your body with anyone else's.

acknowledge your achievements. celebrate yourself when you've done well, even if it's a tiny achievement. you deserve to feel joy for the things you have achieved.

complete tasks. if you've set out to do something, do it. this will give you a little dopamine rush and relay a message in your brain: you can do it. being reliable is an amazing trait to have as a person and it helps you boost your confidence.

have a growth mindset. acknowledge your weaknesses and failures without labelling them as bad. anything you aren't good at is something to work on, not something to give up on and mope about over. resolve yourself to take small steps towards improvement everyday.

surround yourself with confident people. look at your friends and the people who you choose to keep in your life. do they encourage you to achieve your goals? do they strive to keep growing as people themselves? focus on building and maintaining relationships with people who make you feel secure in yourself and help you grow.

stick to your values and know what they are. don't give in to people pleasing anymore and work hard to live by the things you know are right.

have a balanced lifestyle. eat well, exercise, sleep properly and manage your stress levels. devote time to being productive, relaxing, engaging in spirituality and mindfulness, and spend time with people you care about. burnout is just about the worst thing for confidence, so take steps to avoid it.

practice positive self affirmation. tell yourself that you are beautiful, kind, confident, intelligent and strong. tell yourself that you make good choices. you're disciplined. you're amazing. people in your life love and admire you. remind yourself of these things until you believe it.

~*

i'm dealing with some medical issues atm, so i'm sorry for not posting yesterday. i'm trying to stay consistent even if i'm not 100%. thank you for the support so far <3

[lightlycareless]

I found a picture of Naoya playing the piano and want to show it to you. My fav scene where naoya teaches his wife piano. I love the scene sm 🤭🤭

HIIII how are you!!!!??? Thank you for patience 🥺

Omg thank you so much for sending me this ajkghajgajgs Naoya is a man of many talents, and him using them to brighten your day is 🥺 I'll always hold that scene close to my heart, them bonding together is just 😭 oh, I wish we could have more moments like that.

And we can... I mean, I wrote a little something, like a deviation from what I have planned lol a what if, if you must 😏

warnings: none. fluff. it's based on this fic. now that's a whole can of worms. proceed with caution.

Imagine you deciding to continue your piano lessons after growing somewhat genuinely interested in learning.

After a few sessions you’ve began to show improvement. Sure, you still struggle with certain things, such as jumping from one octave to the other, but anyone could easily admit you were not the same amateur from before.

And yet… there seemed to be something holding you back from taking the next step. You were already a master of twinkle twinkle little star, so why couldn’t you move onto something a bit more difficult?

Well, it was plain simple. Quite obvious, actually, for an outsider that is. Naoya was too blinded by his role as a teacher to even notice.

It was all intentional, made from your desire to keep him close, enjoying the way he’d place his arms around you, his large hands over yours as he guides you into the correct position to play even if you already knew how.

All to keep feeling his breath on your skin, the cologne you now solely associated with him, and you suppose his attention too, especially when you played the shy, tense student that desperately needed the guidance of her sensei.

To voice such ploys made you feel silly, if not selfish, but you didn’t know how to voice your need without feeling embarrassed. You didn’t want to appear needy before a man that is always busy, and yet, here you were, acting as if you’d never seen a piano in your life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Naoya loves spending time with you, even though seemingly mundane activities. But even he was getting a bit… frustrated with these lessons that were quickly growing repetitive. His perfectionist temperament demanded he’d do everything right, or at least strive for it, naturally extending to you. Obviously for you, the woman whom he wanted to please more than anything in this world.

You showed enough promise, a talent that could be polished if pursued, so why weren’t you advancing?

Was it… him, perhaps? Your actions consequence of his failure as a teacher?

Maybe. Naoya isn’t known for being a particularly good listener, less of an educator. There’s enough witnesses to asses to it.

Your husband just hopes his incapability doesn’t push you away from wanting to learn piano, Naoya would rather die than to cut short these already scarce moments with you.

Though it’s more likely that he’ll do that anyways, a well-prepared teacher appears to be a better alternative.

“… but I don’t get it. Maybe there’s something I’m not seeing.” Naoya frowns, adjusting his position near you and taking your hands with him once more, hoping that it’ll come to him. The solution to your problem.

He sighs when it doesn’t. For the nth time. Maybe he is a bad teacher after all.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I don’t think I’ll be able to teach you anymore.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I’m just having a tough time figuring out how to help you.” Naoya laments. “I may have underestimated my skills.”

You know what they say, the best way to check if you know something is by teaching it to someone else. Something like that, or so he’s heard.

“Don’t say that I think you’re doing great!” You encouraged, looking over to Naoya and his deep frown, evidence of the frustration your little ploy has inflicted on him. Had you known he would be so affected by it you would’ve gone easier with your obliviousness…

And yet, it was endearing to see your impact on him. How hard he was trying to make things work for you—you still couldn’t believe how much of an influence you had on him, even if he’s already proved the lengths he was willing to go to make you happy.

…Like the protective husband he swore to be on your wedding day.

“You don’t have to mock me, mochi” Naoya insists. “I think you’d be better off with an actual teacher if you still want to learn.”

You do, but…

“…I want you.” You murmur, so lowly, so… sweetly, that Naoya had to double check he heard you right the first time around, quickly swirling his head onto your direction, frozen the moment your doe-like, hypnotizing eyes, those he could never get enough of, landed on his, with such intensity that let him know it was all true.

The purpose you were attempting to convey many lessons ago instantly becoming clear to him. The intentions you were too shy to speak out loud, but not enough to sway you from trying, an unknown edge of yours that had him both impressed and absorbed.

One never stops knowing their partner, do they?

What an enthralling thought to have.

“Is that so?” He murmurs back, leaning closer to you. “You’d be fine with someone like me as your teacher, princess?”

“I couldn’t think of anyone… better.” You blush. And though intimidated by his piercing gaze, you persisted. When you once cowered away, you now wished to be the only person his eyes saw.

“Then I guess I’ll have to try harder.”

Maybe it’s because he was within your reach, or because you had enough of going around in circles, whatever it was, you couldn’t hold back anymore; and with the noise of your heart deafening your ears, you lean closer to him, removing the gap between the two and placing your lips over his. Gently, sweetly, like it was your first time, and took him in—sealing your newfound sentiments with a kiss he’s long been dreaming of.

So much that he’s almost in disbelief, remaining still as he tries his best to both contain his excitement, heart ready to burst through his chest, hands itching to pull you closer and keep you there, afraid that the moment he peels away you’ll disappear, just as he’s forced you to through the beginning of this marriage.

Naoya too felt like it was the first time he’s ever kissed anyone—perhaps kissed anyone with love. With that soft warmth he could only label as true love. What he feels for you now, has always been so, and hopefully, you too.

After a few seconds, much to Naoya’s dismay, you’re the first one to separate, slowly pulling away and opening your eyes to the sight of your flustered husband, the adorable face of a man that has dreamed of this day for god knows how long, giving you the impression (alongside a sense of guilt) that maybe you should’ve been a bit more direct with your actions.

Though how everything came to be… wasn’t that bad.

“You didn’t have to go through all that, you know?” Naoya teases, his attempt to cool down the heat on his cheeks. “If you just wanted to kiss me, you just had to say so.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you joke back, and he smirks, letting out a chuckle. “…But I guess I shouldn’t have wasted your time.”

“Being with you is no waste of time.”

Now it’s your turn to grow speechless, face red, perhaps even more than Naoya’s, due to the vast, unexpected sweetness of his words, and the overwhelming embarrassment it provided you, leading you to cover your face with your hands and making him laugh even louder.

“You don’t need to act this way with me, love.” Naoya says, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. “We’ve done more… heated things, after all. This is nothing.”

“Oh, stop it! Is that your way of comforting me?!” You gasp, burying your face deeper into his chest.

“It is the truth, love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“You know well I wasn’t referring to that” you murmur. “…but… do you really feel that way…?”

“I’d give you the whole world if you asked.”

But even if you didn’t, he was going to do so, because he has long sworn in his own life that he’d do everything in his power to make up for all the wrongdoings he’s inflicted upon you. His best to erase the vile acts he did when he called himself your so-called husband.

For as long as it takes, all of his lifetime if so needed, and the next one, and the next one.

“I think I’ll be happy just to hear you play the piano for now.” You eventually add. “If you don’t have anything else to do.”

“I’m all yours today—”

“And...” you interrupt, Naoya blinks.

“And?”

“If I can kiss you again.” You say, shyly looking up to him. “If you want…”

“Hm, I don’t know… you’ll have to convince me.”

“How do I do that?” you tilt your head.

“By giving me a kiss for each time you had me going around in circles.”

With unprecedented speed, you quickly grabbed his face and begging to pepper kisses all over his face, Naoya more than happy that you were, and a bit startled too.

“Wait, Y/N—did you even want to learn how to play??” He rightfully concludes.

“A bit, I guess.” You giggle. “But really I just wanted to be with you.”

Naoya immediately succumbs to your gestures soon after that, putty on your hands as he lets himself be appreciated by the woman of his dreams, the love of his life—the owner of his heart.

Your heart squeezes with longing. Who knew Naoya could be this… adorable? So sweet, you didn’t have the heart to deny him—

Nor would you, setting to live out the rest of your life as his wife.

For good, this time.

I always liked the idea of you being able to feel Naoya's heart. Like, how fast it is beating because of how happy he is with you 🥺 Thankfully I do have another prompt with that exact same situation, though it's a HS au. Also, this is not their fated kiss I owe y'all, I think what I have planned is much better 😏 (or so I hope)

Now, thank you so much for waiting for my answer 🥺 I'm still slowly but surely working through them requests :> I always appreciate whenever you send me something (so don't be afraid of sharing more hehe)

Take care and hope to see you soon!!

[youatemylollipop]

I really really liked the way you wrote those yandere headcanons! Could you write some more but with Shinichiro and Wakasa?

A/N: I think this post makes it pretty obvious that I’m simping for Wakasa hardcore!😳

Ft: Imaushi Wakasa & Sano Shinichiro (Tokyo Revengers).

Part One: Hanagaki Takemichi, Ryūguji Ken & Sano Manjirō ➵ Tokyo Revengers

Part Two: Kokonoi Hajime & Kurokawa Izana ➵ Tokyo Revengers

⚠️ WARNING: Yandere, possessiveness, obsession, dependency, violence, kidnapping, delusional behavior, slightly suggestive on Wakasa’s part, stalking, manipulation & overprotectiveness.

Imaushi Wakasa

➵ Wakasa's demeanor is quite indifferent towards his darling and the world around him, which often makes him blend in seamlessly. Despite his obsession with his darling, he doesn't show any strong emotions or become visibly upset when things don't go his way.

➵ He is a keen observer and pays close attention to his darling's every move from afar. He notices even the smallest changes in their behavior and daily routine, which helps him plan his next move accordingly.

➵ Wakasa doesn't befriend just anyone, and it takes a lot to gain his trust and interest. He only reaches out to his darling when his obsession with them starts to grow, and he believes that they are worthy of his time and attention.

➵ Wakasa's tactics to isolate his darling from their friends involve spreading malicious rumors about them, making others believe that his darling is a bad influence or is involved in illegal activities. He sees this as a necessary step to protect his darling from negative influences.

➵ If Wakasa's efforts to isolate his darling fail, he is not afraid to resort to violence to remove any perceived threats. He sees this as a necessary step to protect his darling from harm and ensure their safety.

➵ He has unwavering faith in his darling, believing that they can do no wrong. Even if his darling admits to committing a serious crime, he refuses to believe that they could be capable of such actions.

➵ Wakasa's actions to isolate his darling are done in such a way that his darling remains unaware of his involvement. His darling only sees him as a loyal friend and confidant, unaware of the lengths he goes to protect and control their relationship.

➵ Wakasa is a master of manipulation and can subtly influence his darling's thoughts and actions without them realizing it. He knows how to push their buttons and make them believe that his ideas and opinions are their own.

➵ Wakasa has high standards and expectations for his darling and strives to make them the best they can be. He sees their flaws as opportunities for improvement and will go to great lengths to help them achieve their full potential.

➵ Wakasa's love for his darling is all-consuming, and he will do anything to protect them from harm. He sees himself as their guardian angel, always watching over them and ready to intervene if necessary.

➵ His actions are always part of a long-term plan, and he thinks several steps ahead. He carefully considers every move he makes and the potential consequences, ensuring that his actions always align with his ultimate goal of protecting and controlling his darling.

➵ Despite his intense feelings for his darling, Wakasa remains emotionally detached and rarely shows any vulnerability. He sees his emotions as a weakness that could be used against him and keeps them hidden beneath a calm and collected exterior.

➵ Wakasa sees himself as the only person capable of saving his darling from the world and its dangers. He sees his obsession as a noble and selfless act, believing that he is the only one who truly understands and cares for his darling.

➵ While Wakasa's actions seem to stem from a desire to protect his darling, there may be deeper, hidden motivations at play. He may be seeking validation, control, or even a sense of ownership over his darling.

Wakasa was observing your figure silently as you continued to doodle something in your notebook. You weren’t drawing anything in particular, just some random hearts and smileys here and there.

But the male wasn’t too focused on that. Instead, he was watching the expression adoring your features. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, pink tongue peeking out from between your lips. You looked so adorable in that moment, Wakasa had to restrain himself from pinching your cheeks.

Then you looked up at him, arching an eyebrow in a silent question. The male sent you a lazy smirk, lilac eyes containing a hint of mischief that caused a small giggle to escape your lips.

“Do you want to ditch?”

A shudder ran down your spine as you felt his hot breath fanning against your skin, a not so subtle blush dusting your cheeks. He had mouthed those words so quietly, you wouldn’t have been able to hear them, had he not gotten so close to you—mouth practically touching your exposed neck.

“Waka,” you whispered to him in a warning tone. Though the male seemed to be the least bit threatened by it, simply arching an eyebrow as if he was challenging you. Then you felt his hand rubbing your thigh sensually and tried swatting it away, only for him to start off where he had been previously interrupted.

You shot him a glare as you felt his hand trailing your thigh, but the male wasn’t looking at you anymore, bored lilac eyes staring ahead. Pursing your lips you ripped off a small piece of paper before scribbling something on it. This earned you a curious look from the otherwise always bored male.

“Promise?”

You blushed, facing the other direction so he couldn’t see your red face, which was futile since there was no way Wakasa wouldn’t be able to notice. Of course he would, there had never even gone a single day without him watching you. Whether he was close beside you, or somewhere in the distance, did not matter.

Too flustered to pronounce a word, you simply nodded, eyes shadowed by your bangs. In response, the male squeezed your thigh gently before removing his hand.

A subtle sensation of ownership slowly began to envelope his senses. You were just too pure and fragile for this dark and toxic world. Too innocent. It had only been a matter of time before those rotten pests would finally realize how much better you were than them.

…They never stood a chance to begin with.

Sano Shinichiro

➵ Shinichiro is the kind of yandere who believes in love at first sight, and that's exactly what happened when he laid eyes on his darling for the first time. He was instantly infatuated and couldn't resist the urge to be with them.

➵ Although he kidnaps his darling, Shinichiro doesn't do it to harm them in any way. He just wants to keep them close and protect them from any potential threats. He knows that his actions are extreme, but he genuinely believes that it's the only way to keep his beloved safe.

➵ Shinichiro is severely delusional, thinking that he and his darling are the perfect match for each other. He sees no one else in the world that could make his darling as happy as he can.

➵ Despite his delusions, Shinichiro is not manipulative. He never tries to force his darling to do anything they don't want to do. He respects their boundaries and always asks for their consent before doing anything.

➵ Shinichiro is extremely protective of his darling, and he will become violent if anyone poses a threat to them. However, he will never physically harm his darling, no matter how angry he gets.

➵ He truly believes that his darling is deeply in love with him, just as he is with them. He sees their every action as a sign of their love, even if it's something as simple as a smile or a nod.

➵ Shinichiro is very clingy and affectionate with his darling. He loves to hold them close and shower them with kisses and compliments. He wants to make them feel loved and appreciated every second of every day.

➵ Despite his clinginess, Shinichiro is still mindful of his darling's boundaries. He knows when they need space and will give it to them without hesitation.

➵ Shinichiro is very attentive to his darling's needs. He always makes sure they have everything they need, whether it's food, water, or a warm blanket. He wants them to feel comfortable and cared for at all times.

➵ He has a habit of talking to himself when he's alone with his darling. He'll often say things like, "We're so perfect together," or "I'll never let anyone hurt you." It's his way of reinforcing his delusions and reminding himself of how much he loves his darling.

➵ Shinichiro is very possessive of his darling, but not in a creepy or controlling way. He just wants to be the only one who can make them happy.

➵ Shinichiro is not afraid to show his emotions around his darling. He's not the type of yandere who tries to hide his feelings or put up a tough exterior. He wants his darling to know how much he loves them and how much they mean to him.

➵ He has a certain innocence about him. He sees the world through the eyes of a romantic, which is why his delusions are so extreme. He truly believes that he and his darling are meant to be together forever.

➵ Shinichiro’s love for his darling is unconditional. He would do anything to make them happy, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness. He just wants to see them smile and know that they're loved.

A sudden gasp escaped your cold, almost numb lips as you covered your mouth on pure instinct before walking over to the beat-up male. Without paying much thought, you cupped his cheek gently as a bruise slowly began to bloom on the pale skin. His bottom lip had been busted, small droplets of blood trailing down.

Mouth opening and closing like a fish as you tried to form a coherent sentence, but no words seemed to come out. Sensing your growing worry the male simply let out a laugh, “There’s no need to worry, I’ve taken beatings far worse than this.”

You eyed him skeptically, guilt gnawing at the back of your throat. Fully aware that it had been your carelessness that had put this boy in danger.

Shaking your head, you spoke timidly, “Thank you for saving me Sano-kun, I don’t know what would have happened to me, had you not interfered.”

Onyx eyes widened at the mention of his name, a subtle blush coating his cheeks. Your voice was like a silent melody, delicate and beautiful as it evaporated in the cold air. It was even prettier up close.

“So, you recognized me?” He said, a laugh following his question as he rubbed his neck sheepishly. You smiled softly at the boy’s awkwardness, finding it exceptionally cute. There was just something very endearing about it.

Then his expression suddenly went serious. “But you won’t have to worry about those bastards anymore,” he said, gaze holding a sort of firmness that made you feel grounded. The male didn’t elaborate further on the subject, shoving his bruised knuckles into his jean’s pockets.

Instead of pressing him on the matter, you simply nodded. Perhaps that was a pretty careless thing for you to do, but at the time, you didn’t think much about it. Neither did you second guess yourself when you accepted his suggestion to give you a ride home.

It was only when you entered your house that a small hint of unease began creeping in. You leaned your back against the hard and sturdy wooden door, pressing your lips into a firm line as you recalled your conversation. You never remembered telling him the address…

…So how did he know where you lived?

[ange11icyuri]

⚔️ PICK A PILE ⚔️

•Cobra Kai edition

(Which character are you most likely to be in cobra kai?)

PILE ONE 🗡️

If you chose pile one, you are Tory Nichols. You’re strong and fearless, just like Tory, and you never back down, no matter what anyone says. You stand up for your friends and possess a strength greater than you realize. Even though you might doubt yourself at times, you always put others first, often forgetting to care for yourself. Like Tory, you may face many challenges in life, but you refuse to let them hold you back. Keep being resilient and brave, but remember to take care of yourself too—you deserve the same care and strength you give to others.

PILE TWO🗡️

If you chose pile two, you are Sam LaRusso. You often feel like a target, and even though it might seem like you have everything, there’s still a part of you that feels the need to fight for what truly matters to you. Others might look at your life from the outside and wonder why you’re upset over one thing not going your way. They may see you as selfish, but deep down, you try to show that you’re kinder and more understanding than people assume.

Despite the perception that your life is perfect, you face your own struggles, and life isn’t as flawless as it appears. People may judge you too quickly without realizing that everyone has their own challenges, including you. Even with these difficulties, you strive to be strong and fight for what’s right, much like the katana—sharp, focused, and unyielding. However, being constantly under pressure can take a toll, and you may be prone to anxiety because of how often you’re singled out. Still, you rise to the challenge, proving your strength time and time again.

PILE THREE🗡️

If you chose pile three, you are Robby Keene. You’re fierce and a bit of a troublemaker, but when it comes down to it, you always care about the people in your life. You fight for what’s right, even if you can be hot-tempered at times. It’s not hard for you to find your way, but you might sometimes feel like a second choice, just like Robby feels with his father. Maybe you, too, have difficult relationships in your life that make you feel overlooked.

But just like Robby, you don’t let that hold you back. You keep pushing forward, and things can improve between you and those connections if you’re open to communication, talking things through, and working things out. It takes two, but you have the strength to make it happen. You can be confident and determined, just like Robby, much like a strong pair of nunchucks—quick, balanced, and always ready for whatever comes your way.

PILE FOUR🗡️

If you chose pile four, you are Miguel Diaz. In the beginning, people may have underestimated you—maybe you were even bullied or not liked by your peers because you were seen as weak. But once you found your confidence and started working on yourself and your life, you began to grow stronger, just like Miguel with his longsword. Even when people try to tear you down, you rise back up, stronger and faster than ever. You are a genuinely cool person, and once people get to know the real you, they see the other side of you and appreciate who you truly are. You’re well-liked and welcomed by those who truly understand you.

Because you are sweet and caring, just like Miguel, you always put others before yourself. You genuinely care about people, and your kindness shines through, making you a truly good person at heart. Even when things get tough, your compassion and willingness to help others never waver. People may take time to see your strength, but once they do, they recognize the depth of your character and the goodness you bring to those around you.

[motherraid]

It may have already been said, but if you encourage Malleus to listen to No More Birthdays by Sophie May...

I feel that if he doesn't take a look at the sweet, caring, silver haired 17 year old boy he's known since infancy and that loud, passionate, and gold hearted 16 year old he's watched grow up alongside him and burst into tears then he would at the very LEAST relate heavily to it. LMFAO I refuse to elaborate.

.... I may elaborate a little.

I love hearing talk about Malleus being scared of losing Lilia, but I can't hide being feral over Malleus being scared of losing Silver and Sebek anymore. Hell, Lilia was there for him his whole life, yeah, but now he's gotta to spend an even SHORTER time with Silver and Sebek, cause no way are they lasting as long as Lilia. Sebek MAY be the last to go on account of being half fae and the youngest if he's lucky.

Only at 1000 would Malleus be fully matured, and those three will be long dead by then. They're practically like butterflies to Malleus. They're so precious, so beautiful, and so fragile... And their lives are like a blip compared to his.

Silver and Sebek were BABIES when Sebek met them all. Can you imagine these cute, dumb little 7 year olds running around your father figure (if not father)'s house and teaching them magic? Watching them train? What about seeing their sweet little faces beaming at you like you're the center of their universe? How in love would you be with their little smiles when they say they'll grow up big and strong to protect you one day?

What about when they're 16 and say they'll always strive to improve for you? They'll become better for you, stronger for you? When they follow you around practically hanging off your coat tails because they want to keep you safe? Even as smart and strong as they are now, they're nowhere near as strong as you, and here they are guarding you against potential threats like a sweet puppy trying to protect you from the vacuum cleaner. <3

He sees these tiny babies that wanna dedicate their lives to him - that's maybe 75 or so years if they're not MURDERED. 80 is being generous given the job they're being trained for - and they'll go through so much hard work. Malleus will watch them laugh, cry, struggle, thrive, fall, and rise, watch their experiences and the changing world around them shape them into the valiant men that he knows they'll become, and he'll see them get older. And older. And older....

All for it to dissapear before he knows it. And he'll have to live with their short memories for the rest of his long, long life.

He may get a little teary thinking abt it or smth I dunno..

[lazywriters-blog]

INNOCENTLY YOURS

LYNEY'S DEFAULT & YANDERE PROFILE

Note: This took a long time to finish but hopefully, it's good enough and enlightening to read, should I do wriothesley next? Vote for your choice in the poll at the end:

Warning: May contain triggering content, female reader, and all the yandere stuff. Not proofread.

1. Their personality, and their blank points.

Lyney is a great actor and magician with many talents and whatnot. He's got a charm to him and he seems to be confident, cheery, and suave, he grins when he's caught a contagious smile directed at him or the applause his audience graces him with.

He loves those who love his show and never misses any of it, he's a little sad inside but burdens can't always be let go of, either he persists or is dragged down. He's a little on the nervous side, especially when it comes to his family, he caters to the needs of his people to know more about them, and he's good at consoling anyone to spill their secrets willingly, he frequently makes eye contact and he's good at reading people, he isn't normally shy because why would he be? He's a great magician, if he wants attention all to himself, he's gotta play his part and act confident, After all, people are drawn to those who are self-assured and have everything sorted out.

He might not look like it, but he's a professional gaslighter, first, he guesses someone's weakness and uses it against them, in a subtle way, wouldn't want them to back out just yet, he's gotta play his magic, and reel them in. He's good at it, but sadly he could never use his skills on himself.

Even if he convinces himself he's a good person, no good person would ever want to convince themselves of it. At least, that's what he thinks.

2. Their coping mechanisms and their reaction.

When one's delusions are challenged and given a chance to face themselves, most wouldn't due to their circumstances and experiences, the same can be said for Lyney, he's seen unlikable things and knows there's some good in the world, however, once he's betrayed, it is likely impossible to ever gain trust again. How does he cope? For starters, he just stares off and it would seem so eerie to anyone who has seen him lively, he looks dead whenever he does it, shake him out of it he may just smile and shrug it off saying he was thinking hard about something, it's like he has two personalities, happy and sad, likely stemming from knowing how people would take advantage of a weak being, no one would ever want to see him a sad magician performing tricks, perhaps an interesting concept but he doesn't have the reliability to do it.

Seeing how people react, how their expressions slip and crumble into something they were hiding, yeah he's noticed many things growing up, and he's learned to cope by improving, that's because he didn't have the resources nor the perfect environment to do anything else but improvise.

Besides, it has helped him. Striving to be better isn't a bad thing, but constantly doing so leads him to neglect important details about himself.

How he gets so frustrated and fidgety when nothing is working out in his favor, he hasn't learned how to properly deal with his emotions, he knows smiling will help, and he can keep his facade up and running but ignoring troubling things will only come to haunt him again. He knows it to some extent, but ultimately he can't do anything about it, he doesn't know how to relax and rely on anyone. He's capable, and he needs to prove it, he has what it takes to make people come to him. He's a smooth talker, after all.

Alike everyone, he's a ticking bomb that has been buried deep beneath. No telling what will trigger it.

3. How much do they love? Are they too much or too little?

He loves a lot, a little much but it's above average even at the beginning, he keeps it hidden through teasing and doesn't find it necessary to keep details away from his darling. How would he have encountered his darling? What attracts him to anyone? I have this thought of Lyney meeting her when he's on a mission to uncover some secrets behind his darling's parents, her mother to be precise, it's hard enough to find an opportunity to flee and enter someone's room, lucky him that she likes him, though it had been subtle that they had invited him and his sister to their home to observe him, the hints were clear enough and their mission had been a success.

What was more interesting was how he never got to talk to her, her parents were doting and likable so she should be the same more or less, shy. Maybe, he doesn't know. Their visit was pleasant and there wasn't any reason for bad blood, however, he was curious to know their daughter.

He would keep a closer eye on his audience from then on, or on the streets, in case she was to be seen, and then, voila, she appeared on one of his magic shows, testing his theory hadn't been tough, watching her eye something else whenever he looked her way was amusing. After the show, greeting her had been enjoyable, luckily her parents seemed to leave her alone with him whenever Lynette was with him.

She was genuine, sheltered from the harshness of the world yet so knowledgeable and cunning about everything, he found himself drawn to her. How could one be so untrusting when everything has been good to them? Thus, the gears would start turning, and soon, he would know. Only to realize far too late that he's in her life too deep now.

4. Dark habits or shadows of their personality.

Growing up needing attention and wanting attention can be problematic for any person, the need to be the center of the stage and do just about anything to keep it that way, clever magic tricks, dangerous tactics, you name it, Lyney has done it at some point in his life. It had been their livelihood to perform shows and gather money to avoid starving on the streets. Lyney had been the main since then, it worked out for them and they dared not change it for anything better, except for one point in their life and it ended in betrayal so they never attempted it. Lyney likes to do trial and error with his relationships with the people of his interest and it's the same for his Darling, figuring out what works and what doesn't is his starting point.

He may try distressing things to figure out what is a person's fear, and reason for anger, tears, and sorrow, he needs to know. For a more sensitive darling, it can backfire so he goes, 'I'm just joking, don't take it too seriously, I promise it was a joke!' 'I hope that didn't bother you much.' 'I love it when you smile while crying, you look adorable! See, you smiled again!!' he can be endearing that way, he's charming enough to make anyone talk about their feelings and trust him, his darling wouldn't stand a chance if they didn't remove their pink tinted glasses and see him for what he's truly doing.

He likes to position himself in front of his darling, always maintaining eye contact and chuckling whenever she looks away, by now, if darling trusts her gut instincts she would be very uncomfortable, but his smile would say otherwise. Of course, this all would change if you prove to be a good person who gets along with his siblings, one good interaction is all he needs to be lovestruck.

And once darling has endeared herself to them, he would try convincing her to cross boundaries, stay with him for the night, and sneak out with him, it would be a good time to bond, of course, he wouldn't force it, at first.

There's only so much he can do before sleeping beside her becomes essential. He'll do all sorts of things to convince her to stay, play, sleep, and remain.

5. How do they deal with irregular feelings or emotions?

He doesn't let it show outside, he knows better than to scowl at someone's mean statement, or at her parents' statement of how he's taking their daughter from them. It would be quite a predicament. Normally, he would try to be diplomatic about it all, butter them up, and clear up the misconception, but he finds it hard to do just that because they're right and he feels so giddy thinking that, a twisted sense of satisfaction overcoming him and he just wants to laugh in their face and speak condescending things. He won't though, he'll smile a big forced grin and walk it off later whilst complaining to his sister.

6. Do they let themselves get lost in the past, or present?

He's more present in the now than the past, he does think about it five times a day and lets it influence his speech at times, but it's rare to ever escape his mouth. Sometimes sure, but he tends to avoid it as much as possible.

7. How much of sanity do they possess?

A little above high, but when someone becomes akin to his family, one bad thing and it decreases significantly, he may not seem like it but when he's going crazy worrying over details and pondering and pondering, he can't help but pace around, and when bad notions come to mind he just wants to slam his head against something or pull out his hair, occasionally under extreme pressure, he ends up doing that. But it would take more than that to make him lose his sanity and do the most horrendous actions without thinking twice. He will shed many tears, but if his family is safe, he doesn't care what happens to his enemy.

Losing someone very dear to him is the major trigger that will cut loose all the ropes holding him down. Otherwise, he's pretty strong mentally, only when it comes to his family, he's pretty weakened.

A good thing to use against him, sadly.

8. If triggered, what would they do? Do they swallow their anger or just not contain it?

Well, the first thing he would attempt to do is poke fun at them in the shadows if they've hit a nerve and threatened anyone from his family if it's about him he doesn't care for it unless it's beneficial, angering him would be tough overall he's a performer so he knows how to deal with disagreeable people, pretends to have never heard about the nasty rumors involving him, he's sneaky and confident like that, unfortunately, that fails when it comes to family and darling, he wants to know who did it, when, how, why, everything and if this person doesn't know how to back down and eat their words, they might disappear entirely.

Nobody would know but hey, he left some clues.

9. Willingness to sacrifice their loved ones.

Not an option. He doesn't want to, and never will, family is important and I think he would do his hardest to avoid such a situation, even if it comes to that, he would sacrifice himself and make sure nobody is harmed.

10. Pushed to the brink of insanity, how would it unfold?

Let's say this cruel person tricked him into thinking offering himself up for sacrifice would save his siblings or his darling. Killed them when he was trapped and chained, he couldn't think of ways of saving them because he was too busy begging for them to be spared, sobbing and doing anything in his power to help, after the deed was done and he was left to the sight of blood, he can't do anything. He's frozen, and he's out of it. He may kill himself after it or die killing the person who made them suffer, all in all, the outcome is grim, and he's missing the pillars to give his support, he is willing to crumble to the ground and break into pieces. Seeing as they are sent on dangerous missions, this consequence is not impossible.

If his darling were to live, survive, or was never taken in the first place, watching him live for what little days he would persist is devastating, he wouldn't be his usual chatty smiley self, and he would wither away sooner and later.

But, if everyone dear to him is fine and dandy, one night he may approach the said person, sit them, take out his cards ask them to pick a card while he's smiling like his usual self, he doesn't let them escape until they've chosen their fate. He's going to laugh watching their expression shift and he may say a few words if he's not too upset.

'If only you kept your mouth shut, we wouldn't have to do this, pity...'

Leave the body in the open, wipe his hands, and after changing his gloves walk back home with a hop in his step, whistling softly and pocketing his bloody cards. Ohoh, the public is going to love the scene he left them with, the mystery, the 'what happened', and 'why' are all going to be circulating the next morning.

11. Are they too stubborn to get what they want? Or are they patient enough to wait?

It's a mix of stubbornness and perseverance, he can wait though if it yields the result he wants, otherwise, he is quick to tinker and manipulate things to fall into his laps. Say, if his darling were to figure him out and expose himself to him, slam the door into his face, and discard him from her life altogether, he would be very stubborn and persist to exist in her life and force himself into it. You see, he wants attention, he needs it, and she has to give it to him because then how would he live on? If coupled with desperation, he may say he was going to jump off a building and if she wants to save him, she has to come to his magic show. [spoiler: it was part of his trick during the show] Otherwise, that would be his final farewell.

He finds ways to bring his darling back into the picture or himself in her life, he's a jealous little Rascal and he doesn't want anyone else to take his place, he wants what rightfully belonged to him and was given to him, he doesn't want it to be stolen away from him. He earned it!

12. Dirty secrets.

Ahem, I'd like to say none, but I'm sure he has some. Sometimes, when he hugs his darling from behind and she can't feel him because she's asleep and there's nothing she can do to stop him, he just has to squeeze himself closer to her and wrap his leg around her tights and keep pushing till their clothed parts are so close, he pretends it's their first time sleeping together and takes advantage of the situation, because when else will he get the chance again? Of course, their real first time should be after they've been glued for life, he just couldn't handle it.

Even when darling is up and smiling, he pulls her to him and just enjoy the sensation of her skin, kissing her neck and relishing in the cuteness of her denial, might be the one time his darling feels violated and of course, he apologies soon after. He wasn't thinking straight.

13. Creepy things they like/dislike to do.

He finds it creepy when he watches his darling sleep, he doesn't know how to feel about himself when he stands there in their room or sleeping beside her, sometimes he coerces himself to sleep and rarely he can't sleep, over time it becomes a wholesome pastime for him and he doesn't find it all that weird.

And notice when he mentions something very specific about his darling's features, that's because he spent the majority of his time observing her. It can be creepy if Darling keeps a tab on what appeals to him and what he usually compliments her with.

Especially right after waking up beside him and hearing him whisper that in her ear. It would just be more flattering for an oblivious darling.

14. Moral compass, empathy, kindness.

His moral compass might be a little crooked, but he does have some no doubt, just that he doesn't show it often enough, being with the fatui has degraded him to some extent, stealing, lying, forced entry, all the basic things one has to do in the fatui, perhaps one day he'll be demanded to kill someone and he wouldn't have a choice. Empathy is a little hard for him to initiate unless he's trying to understand someone, situations, and so on, but he does let himself be empathetic around his family and a few dear friends otherwise, he's pretty carefree and nonchalant. Kindness he shows a lot, at least from what he has observed around him and come to know. Plus, kindness is what gets him into other's people lives and he will continue it till the day he drowns and dies.

15. Can they move on from one to another?

He might try, otherwise, it's nearly impossible he clings to any semblance of kindness and love, his darling proved him of it, he deserves the things he wants if not now then at some point indeed, of course, to make his darling jealous and come to him willingly he might pretend to be in love with someone else if it backfires and his darling just doesn't like him anymore, it might be time for him to kill someone in her life. He can be a hypocrite if he wants, gaslight her, and speak all sorts of things to get into her head and slowly but surely trap her in his life. Forever.

16. Do they have control over their anger and sadness?

Yup, in a normal situation, his control over anger and frustration is simply admirable, again if his family or darling is involved it is laughable how quickly he loses his cool and compresses like a balloon, he does things recklessly and doesn't think twice even if given time to reconsider. Sadness, I think he deals with it every day, or else he wouldn't have to be putting on a big smile and over-the-top cheerful personality. Behind closer doors, alone and with nobody to entertain, he drops his smile and leans forward, and he'll stay that way until sleep calls him or his siblings enter his room. Those times are simply too small and never lets himself be away from his darling or family.

17. If they are wronged, how would they go about it?

His first instincts would be to run and make sure his darling doesn't see him in an ugly light because he's a magician and he makes people smile, does tricks, and entertains, he wouldn't want her to see him any different he's lyney the grinning and famous entertainer he did his best to build up that reputation, he doesn't want to risk tearing it apart so face to face confrontation in public is rare, but he will appear at night with darkness around him and that person will have chills running down their spine seeing how cold and eerie he looks glaring at them, he attempts to lighten the mood with dark jokes and play tricks when they try to avoid him, he'd would be pretty annoying to deal with, and finally when he has spoken his mind he'll make them face death for a second then, he lets them live or they die with fear strucken eyes.

18. Do their eyes wander or are they too shy to look at anyone?

Oh! He's a confident rascal, his eyes wander everywhere to observe details and drink in his darling's features and her stature, he's a sneaky little parasite latching on to any attention his darling gives him and he'll have hearts in his eyes if it were possible, he is utterly in love and he wants to see her for all she is and he will not allow his eyes rest unless he's seen everything he needs to.

19. When sexually aroused, do they contain their desires or just give in to the urges?

During his shows, he's a little cautious about letting himself get excited and waits till the performance is done, at home or somewhere safe, he's pretty quick to go red in the face and tease back, the story is different if his darling is very resistant to desires and doesn't allow herself to be influenced much, it makes him so irritable and desperate, he'll beg easily in such state and he'll do everything he can to make her hands touch him, lean in closer than needed, slowly pull off his gloves and his cape, loosen his shirt and keep his hat down, make his darling sit beside him and within no time he's so close their shoulders are touching and his eyes are so focused on her, and his hands are just itching to touch her skin if he sees any indication of her trying to leave, he'll be quick to restrain by climbing on top of her seated figure and looking down with bedroom eyes, you see he's a little desperate today and he will say so, requesting she put her hands on him and let things happen naturally.

20. What would they do with themselves after they've been left behind?

Oops, his darling left him when he was busy looking at some gadgets he's so hurt! No problem though he'll find her soon, you see it wouldn't take darling long to grow tired of his presence and just try to ditch him on the streets and return home, duck down another street when she sees him coming her way. The first few times, she would be successful in evading him but as time goes on and he adapts the same tricks won't work and she will not be able to get away for a long time. By then, he'll have his arms wrapped in hers and he is not letting go until she comes home with him, has dinner with him and his siblings, and then maybe she can leave.

21. Will they control themselves from harming another person? Is it messy? Does it get physical?

Yes, at first he will refrain from harming anyone, let a guy talk to his darling while he's right there beside her and smiling a mischievous smile while clinging onto her like a kola, forcibly turn her face back to him whilst pretending something was on her face, it gets annoying after a few, it doesn't end there, any questions that are too personal to ask or just something he doesn't approve of, he'll squeeze his darling's thigh or hand depending on how far their relationship has progressed, play a few tricks and fool the person into thinking they are in danger it works like a charm on friends, not on families though. They are much harder to push away so he can have all his darling's attention but, hey, why take them out of the picture when he can just take his darling with him?

Sure, after he's done all the tricks in the book and nothing has worked, he'll get messy and he will use blackmail, past records, guilt trip, and gaslight, he'll do the psychological gimmicks in the beginning, pushing the boundaries and waiting to see if they he has to step in and get his hands real dirty.

22. Their kinks/fetishes.

I get the feeling he likes soft hands, bigger or smaller than his, he's just a little too focused on them, he looks at them half the time and if she allows it he's holding it, something about intertwined hands just gets him giddy, another thing he likes is dragging her hand to touch him all over and of course, it takes place when his darling is busy with something else and he likes to whisper into her ears while he's doing it, hide his face in her neck and hope it gets her excited.

This little rascal likes to tease and see how much she can withstand his advances, as mentioned above he tries to get touchy and pull her into a deeper kiss if she's resisting him, but he backs off when his gestures aren't returned and pouts, attempt to strike a deal and hope his darling is brave enough to take the initiative, for example, 'next time, you gotta be the one to kiss me, it's been so long since you've showed some affection?' if it works and darling wants to whatever he wants [which he likes] oh they are going to have a night he'll never forget.

23. Do they like children, are they understanding?

Yeah, he likes children. He is pretty understanding too so if he were to become a father and have his legacy continued, he would do everything in his power to help grow his kids into something, read them bedtime stories, braid their hair, and play hide and seek. He would be a cool dad and try to keep the little ones out of any shady business and protect them from things they shouldn't know, others ask where their mother is and who his wife is, around this time he and his darling are married and nobody other than family knows it so the curiosity when he brings a kid looking so familiar to him to a candy shop or a toy shop, it gets people talking. He doesn't seem to care much as rumors spread and if he could he would try to pin down whoever opened their mouth and make them disappear, he has got his wife somewhere safe with him, he's just cautious about letting her out without him since well, she acts like she hates him. Which she shouldn't, why? Because they have a child to take care of.

More likely than not Lyney would have baby trapped his darling any chance he got, you see he would like to give his kids the life he wanted and be very close to them. He won't force it yet, but he'll plant some seeds and see how his darling reacts, but he is rather sneaky and his darling wouldn't know when he got her pregnant. That time when he tried to perform a magic trick but it turned into something intimate? Or when he riled her up and made her lose her mind? Sadly for her, she's out of luck.

24. Are they controlling?

Not really. He is manipulative, to some extent otherwise all he cares is keeping his darling all to himself.

25. If rejected, what would they do?

Ohoh, well he wouldn't get rejected the first time he confesses, his darling would likely reject him after knowing him for a while and seeing his habits after they've shared a bed and needing to escape his overwhelming need for attention. Seeing all the disagreeable tactics he uses, no one would blame her. But would he take it nicely? Sure, he tries to, puts on a convincing facade, and shortly he'll want her back meaning he will do many things to prove her wrong and get her to like him again, what changed? If he was desperate because his darling was playing hard to get, being rejected would just steer him to force himself on her and pray no one noticed them when they vanished into a small alleyway. He'll play his magic and keep her asleep for a few days, then maybe he can try confessing again until she accepts.

26. Are they willing to confine someone to stay with them forever and live happily ever after?

Yes and no, he knows being trapped will just get her spirits down but if he has no choice then he wouldn't be all that empathetic, she made him chase her for so long now it's his turn to have some fun. Ultimately, kidnapping will still be his last resort.

28. Would they be able to live happily?

Absolutely, all he wants is his darling and his family if he has those two together, he will die happy.