#// but what strikes me the most is that. he never really broke that harsh truth to anyone. he kept it all to himself and put on a mask

[archivedsorrow]

// saw a twt post calling ivan the 'child who knew too much' and u know what. i can't get over it

[creativeashproductions]

Change of Scenery // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: Captain Bobby Nash has kept a secret from his friends, his wife and his step children since 2015 when he came to LA. Bobby’s eldest and only surviving child comes to LA to reconcile and make amends all the while she catches the eye of a certain blue eyed firefighter.

Warnings: Swearing, death/familial loss, pregnancy, blood, angst, injuries/medical emergency, and fluff

Words: 8k

A/N: Back at it with another 9-1-1 fic. Hope you enjoy, and I may just have to do another crossover with 9-1-1 and Julie and the Phantoms.

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Masterlist

There are moments in our lives that define us, whether it can be known as a positive or negative, but the outcome is always the same. A six-letter word that strikes fear and excitement into the souls of humans is change. The fear can be for ourselves or as a result of a child, a sibling, or a parent branching out on their own. Unfortunately, you had gone through a harsh and cruel experience on a cold winter night in the city you grew up in.

A typical Thursday filled with classes at the college you attended in Minnesota on a scholarship, nothing out of the ordinary. The plan had been to drive to your parents’ apartment to catch up with them for the weekend. Saturday morning was already reserved for a girls day with your little sister Brook and your mom. In the afternoon, you’d promised to take your brother Bobby to the ball diamond.

Your bag was packed, the plan to drive straight from class to St. Paul the following day to arrive in the daylight. Your dad struggled with worry when it came to you driving in the dark and especially in winter with icy roads.

“Y/N!” Dottie screeched from the living room of the four-bedroom dormitory. The pretty and curvy brunette had been the first friend you made in college.

Typically Dottie was on the quieter side, so when she screamed, you practically sprinted to the girl.

“Where’s the fire?” You demanded with a smirk at the reference to a topic that was a constant in your family. 

The fire drills your father conducted every four months for an exit plan in case of a fire and general information to save yourselves. He had also trained you to remember fire hazards and how to call dispatch with clear information if that time ever came. It never did and hopefully never would.

“The Lakeview Apartments in St. Paul.” Dottie’s dark brown eyes spoke only of pity and concern. The five foot ten roommate literally caught you as you tumbled into her arms with a loud grief-stricken scream.

You were forever indebted to the brunette for the plans she sacrificed to drive you back to St. Paul. There was absolutely no chance Dottie would allow you to both drive and be alone with no news. The media hadn’t released the names of the 148 deaths the fire relentlessly tore from the land of the living.

“I want to prepare you for what you’ll see. Your mother suffered severe third-degree burns over the majority of her body.” The kind nurse, also one of your friend’s parent, explained as she guided you to the Burn Center in the Regions Hospital, “I don’t want to lie and tell you she’ll be fine. You’re an adult Y/N. You deserve the truth and not be coddled.”

“Is she gonna survive?” You quietly asked, “Has she woken up since she was brought in?”

“The doctor placed her on a high dosage of morphine for the pain. Your father hasn’t left her side.” Lucinda informed you with sympathy written as over her face, The hazel eyes unable to adequately meet yours.

“I’ll check on her, then could you take me to the rooms my siblings are in?” You asked, completely unaware Brook and Bobby had been DOA at the hospital.

Your father hadn’t answered the text messages or the voicemails you had left on his phone—radio silent. You couldn’t be mad when he was with your mom, but a text would have been nice.

“This is where your mother is staying for the unforeseeable future. If you need anything, you can call me.” Lucinda softly replied before turning her heel to head back to the Burn Centre’s front desk.

It was horrific walking into a room with no idea if the occupant who had raised you would survive. The confident, gorgeous mother you had for the past nineteen years was unfamiliar to you, the extensive gauze covering nearly every inch of her body. You almost couldn’t even recognize the man sitting in the chair with his hands wrapped. 

“Dad? What happened?” You questioned the grieving man. The only person left in your family as you would soon come to know.

“Y/N?” Bobby gasped, pushing himself to his feet, staring at his only living child. The guilt ate at him just staring at you with those light brown eyes, “Oh, sweetheart.”

Your dad crossed the room in a few steps. The scent of smoke was still clinging to every part of him, but it was fine. Your dad was okay, minus the wounds on his hands. You’d always been closer with your father than your mother.

“Dad, what happened?” You quietly asked the ashamed firefighter that had to reconcile his feelings on the fire and his career—that struggle ending up pushing you away when he really just wanted you as close as possible.

“The building caught on fire after an ember from a heater lit a blanket on fire,” Bobby informed you with his eyes pinned on his wife. Bobby knew the chances of Marcy surviving were incredibly low, and he had to tell you that.

Bobby only knew the details passed on from a firefighter who pitied the man who’d lost most of his family. 

“Is Mom gonna be okay?” You questioned, and the said injured woman in the bed weakly responded.

“Baby?” Marcy quietly questioned from her absolutely still position on the hospital bed, “Uh, Bobby.”

You left your father’s side to be as close to your mom as possible, with the clear plastic separating you for her safety. Your heart shattered at the sheer exhaustion in her pretty blue eyes. 

“Hi, Mom.” You shakily spoke with one hand lightly pressed against the plastic divider. You didn’t even notice when your dad stepped up too.

“Marcy?” Bobby called out from right beside you, just as torn up, but Bobby carried extra weight on his shoulders, “We’re right here, Marcy. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

The muffled grunt of pain, your mom’s attempt to save you from grief, Marcy let out as she turned her head to look at you. You knew deep in your gut that this was the time place you would see your mom alive. And by the look in her eyes, she knew too.

“The...kids…?” Your mom’s breathing became more erratic as she questioned the man she viewed as her hero. The man she believed had saved her and their youngest children, “Where...are they?”

“The kids are fine.” The way your father said it and the tears led to the knowledge once kept from you.

“No.” You whispered, seeing the total grief written clear on his face. The pain meds and agony kept your mom from knowing the truth.

“They’re safe.”

“I knew you’d come and save us.” Your mom breathed as her eyes started hiding the pretty blue you’d now only see in pictures. In your dreams, until even those faded as father time cruelly pulled you along.

Then your worst nightmare happened. You watched as the woman you looked up to flatlined with the thought of her children safe. You’d always know she’d held on just long enough to find out the state of her children. You could only hope she’d forgive your father for lying to her as she died.

“Mom!” You screamed, fighting the arms of an orderly restraining you. You barely noticed the resistance to your frantic attempts.

One minute you were staring at a team unsuccessfully trying to revive your long-gone mother, then you were in a hotel room. The atmosphere tense and quiet between father and daughter, with the ghost of your dead family to keep you both company. You could hear Brook gagging every time you’d kissed your now ex. You could see Bobby toddling after you years ago.

At least you had your father—a father whose guilt festered until he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“It was my fault.” He murmured, staring at the barely eaten burger that tasted solely just cardboard. He couldn’t bear to look at your face, “I didn’t mean to leave it on.”

Your head snapped to stare at him in disbelief, “What do you mean you didn’t mean to leave it on?”

“I-I went to the roof to sleep after your mom kicked me out. I didn’t have my keys to the apartment I had below ours.” Bobby began spilling the lies he’d told to you about his addictions. Of the apartment, you’d had no clue was even in his possessions.

The pain of losing your family tore into you, “You took my mom away from me. I’ll never get to share my wedding day with her. Shopping for a dress and gossiping about boys. I’ll never be able to wipe Brook’s tears during her first heartbreak.”

Each word broke Bobby more and more.

“You stole my future. You’re selfish, ungrateful and utterly pathetic. You cost so many people so much, all because you sought out your next high.” You spat, glaring at someone you’d never expected to hurt you. You didn’t notice your hands grabbing your possessions nor opening the hotel room door, “You couldn’t even properly try to get clean.”

“Y/N-”

“Get your shit together before you kill anyone else. I never want to see you again.” You sobbed with regret already festering in your body, but pride held you back from apologizing.

Upon your return to your dorm with Dottie by your side, you immediately began the process to enter an exchange program. Within a month, your feet entered Sydney Airport. You didn’t return to America for several years.

You took a job as a casual lifeguard on Bondi Beach, met Lucas in a meet-cute situation at the grocery store. You graduated college and found a job as a paramedic as you began becoming a flight paramedic. In 2020 Lucas and you discovered you’d be bringing in a little baby into the world.

Learning about your little Cashew growing safe in your womb fanned the flame of desire to reconcile. Ultimately the pride kept pushing the urge to apologize for the cruel words you told your father further away. You naively believed you had all the time in the world.  

Remember the six-letter scary word? If losing your mom, siblings, and father was a devastating blow, losing Lucas was nearly tied. Your little Cashew lost their father before they even got to meet him. That was push enough to pack up your home and fly back to America with your father’s new address as soon as you could.

In the fallout of the apartment fire, your father relocated from Minnesota to Los Angeles. 

Los Angeles, 2020

As soon as you’d found the nicest but cheapest hotel to stay in until you found a place, you walked the streets of LA. The first order of business of approaching your father at his workplace as you had no personal address. Residing still in Minnesota, Deputy Chief Evans had only given you the address of Bobby’s work.

You could only hope Bobby wouldn’t turn you away. That he was willing to bridge the gap, you’d widened over the years. That he could forgive the silence to each email, he sent when you changed numbers.

“We should go out to dinner.” The female voice was what brought you back to the present time. The woman was beautiful with her buzzed head and clear skin.

Right by her side was a dark-haired male of Asian ethnicity with a bag thrown over his shoulder, “If you’re paying, you bet I’ll be there.”

The two continued to converse in their own world until the man had to literally dodge you when they finally noticed you.

“Does Chief Bobby Nash work here?” You inquired, having no desire to enter small talk when the baby was sitting on your bladder again. You nearly retched when the man stared down at your swollen midsection, shocked, “It’s not his baby.”

Hen caught the evident disgust on your face, “He’s in his office. I’ll guide you there…”

“Y/N.” You supplied the firefighter. Hen smiled in response, “And your name is…”

“Henrietta Wilson, but you can call me Hen. That was Howard Han. He goes by Chimney, and I’ve been sworn to secrecy on the name.” Hen chuckled in her steps to the closed door of the fire chief. Hen swiftly knocked on the door to give Bobby a heads up.

“Come in!” Bobby called from his pile of paperwork he had pushed and waited to work on. It had slipped as the date came closer. Your twenty-seventh birthday, the seventh one since he last saw you.

“Cap, a woman is asking for you,” Hen told her friend and boss. It’s a good thing you didn’t choose to surprise your father because Hen was shorted, and your bump made manoeuvring around tricky.

“What can I do…” Bobby trailed off when he saw the girl waiting to talk to him. The pen in his hand dropped to the table in shock.

Hen glanced between the two equally taken aback individuals, “Am I missing something here?”

“Hey, dad.” You whispered to the man who’d been dreaming of this moment since the minute you left. He’d searched for you at your previous college and nearly made a missing person report.

“Dad?” Hen couldn’t pick her jaw up from the floor if she even wanted to because this was juicy information. Sure, Bobby had caved into telling his team, his family that he’d lost his wife and two children in a fire.

He rarely talked about his life before the 118, but he’d never mentioned having a surviving daughter. Not in the handful of times he’d talked about the tragedy, nor did he have any objects or photos of you. 

“You’re really here?” Bobby lightly chuckled with a twinkle in his eye. Hen had only seen a handful of times. All of them had Athena in the scene, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” You beamed, stepping closer to the man you’d missed dearly, “I’m so sorry for the way I left. What I said was cruel and untrue. You aren’t selfish, and I can’t blame you for something you couldn’t control.”

Bobby grinned. He’d stepped around his desk only to halt when he took in an undeniable development—the baby bump you carried.

“Is-”

“I’m pregnant. Six months along with a baby girl.” You laughed to the apparent disbelief in your father’s light brown eyes. His gaze continued to shift between the bump and your e/c eyes.

“Wow. Sorry, this is...wow.” 

“She’s one of the reasons I wanted to come back. To fix our relationship because I want her to know her grandpa. You’re the only grandparent Poppy will know.” Bobby was quick to tug you into his arms as soon as the first tear dropped down your cheek.

There was so much you wanted to tell your father, but that overwhelming grief rose higher. You’d left Australia where Lucas laid in a plot in a cemetery. You left the friends you’d found in the city. Left the lifeguard job you’d come to love.

“Where are you and your partner staying?”

“He...uh...Lucas passed away recently.”

The arms holding you tightened in response to your confession, “Oh sweetheart.”

“I didn’t know where else to go. I can’t stay in the home we bought. Not the place he died when I couldn’t save him.”

“I don’t know what happened, but it wasn’-”

“Don’t coddle me. I was...am a paramedic. A flight paramedic, to be specific, so I know that my hesitation could be the reason he died.”

Your career took the father by complete and utter surprise because you’d always planned on a different job. Before the fire that claimed so many lives, you’d never entertained a career in the emergency field.

“We have a lot to catch up on. First, you need to know that I’ll always love your mother no matter what, but you need to know. I met someone when I first moved here, and we were friends at first. She divorced her husband. We started dating...sweetheart, I remarried.”

A wave of emotions flared in your chest, from betrayal to sadness and ultimately happiness. Having lost your first love, you understood and knew if love came around for you, you wouldn’t ignore it. Lucas wouldn’t want that.

“I can’t wait to meet her.”

Re-entering into Bobby’s new life was a difficult adjustment for everyone included. Tension had risen between Athena and Bobby for a brief period. Athena hadn’t even been aware of your existence, but she could fault Bobby. Athena had even told her first husband about her late fiance Emmett when they were still together.

It was difficult for you with the new addition of two step-siblings in the same birth order as Brook and Bobby had been. The Grant siblings had welcomed you into the family without any reservations.

“Did you ever get to fly the chopper?” Harry asked as he scrubbed the dirty dish from the Sunday family dinner. 

It was the first dinner that had no awkward tension since you arrived back in the country. Athena had taken a bit to warm up, but it was nothing personal. She’d actually been the one to find you you’d been staying at a hotel. Mama Athena did not like her pregnant step-daughter living at a hotel. She’d actually stormed your room with Hen and Karen as back up to pack your room and leave for the Grant-Nash house.

“No. I had to help keep the patients alive. If I’m telling the truth...sometimes I didn’t even notice I was in the air.” You whispered to your stepbrother. He was just invested in your career as he had been when Bobby first entered their lives.

“That is so cool!” Harry enthused with soap suds splashing your thin knitted sweater. Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when you flicked water onto his face in retaliation.

“Do you know Bondi Beach in Australia?” You inquired the youth with the chore of dishes completed.

“Yeah! There’s a tv show called Bondi Rescue! I watch the clips on YouTube!” Harry exclaimed, hot on your heels to the couch. Out of May and Harry, he followed you around with questions about your life in Australia.

“I was a casual lifeguard. I’m not featured on that show, but I would get called in when a lifeguard was needed. It paired well with my job as a flight paramedic.” You half-smiled, remembering the Bondi lifeguards who had welcomed you into the family. You became one of them when they started pranking you.

“Did you ever see a shark-”

“Harry, go brush your teeth. Leave Y/N alone.” Athena informed her youngest from the open patio doors. Your father, Athena and May had been outside as soon as the table had been cleared.

“But-”

“Harry,” Athena warned the youngest Grant. Harry didn’t attempt to argue with his stern mother; all he did was hug you quickly. You watched the young boy disappear into the hallway.

“He reminds you of your little brother?” Athena questioned. In your time of reminiscing, the older woman had settled in Harry’s previous position.

“A little.” You whispered, “Thank you for welcoming me into the family. For making my dad happy.”

“You know I may have some baby clothes put away if you’d like to use them?” Athena offered with that smile that made you feel at home. Athena was far different from your late mother, with her presence commanding respect and intelligence. Your mom was similar, but I suppose it could be described as a softer touch.

“Anyway, saving a penny is appreciated. I have a question for you also.” You hesitantly started with a bundle of nerves deep in your belly. Athena turned to give you her full attention.

“Well? Out with it.” Athena pushed, but she had a slight feeling of what you were about to ask her.

“My mom was one the strongest women I know. It hurts that my baby won’t get to experience her love and guidance, and you can say no. We’ve only known each other a short time, but would you consider...maybe being a grandma to my baby?”

Giddy was the feeling Athena developed along with the laughing smile that only came from happiness. The woman could only nod her head in response to your hesitant question. To Athena’s knowledge but not yours, Bobby was softly smiling, watching his formerly estranged daughter getting along with your stepmom.

“Oh!” You gasped as your baby kicked hard enough for her foot imprint to be seen through your knitted sweater. 

Bobby was by your side in concern the second he heard your startled sound, but Athena wasn’t that concerned. Athena remembered having the same reaction.

“Are you okay?” Bobby frantically questioned. He faltered when the woman shared a belly-deep laugh at the sheer fear written in the seasoned firefighter’s eyes.

“Poppy was kicking.” You chuckled as your father’s shoulders dropped in relief, “Here.”

Your nimble fingers clasped around your father’s wrist to bring his palm to the spot Poppy was kicking. A certain lightness flooded your entire body, being capable of sharing this experience with Bobby. Watching tears well up in the grandpa to be’s brown eyes.

“Whoa.” Bobby breathlessly spoke as Poppy kicked against his palm. The feeling building in his was exhilarating with the small amount of grief mixed in, “I remember when your mom was pregnant with you. We didn’t know if we were having a girl or boy, but she was adamant you would be a kickboxer. So active.”

Athena watched as the relationship between father and daughter started healing directly in front of her eyes. The Sergeant was about to give you two some privacy when you caught her hand in your free one.

“Here.” You informed the older woman shifting to place her hand where your father’s hand had previously been. Your e/c eyes sought the wonder-filled different shades of brown eyes the couple had.

“You should get some sleep,” Athena spoke, staring at her hand resting on your bump. Her dark chocolate brown rising to find your gaze, “You won’t be getting a lot once she arrives.”

Bobby and Athena watched as you turned the corner to the spare room Athena’s parents used when they visited. For the time being, you’ve moved into the room, and the Grant-Nash house hoped you would stay. May had always wanted a sister, and Harry loved all the stories you told about Australia.

“You know, at some point, you’ll have to talk to her.”

“I just was-’

“-without anyone else being the buffer. Bobby, both your lives is evidence enough that some things are too trivial to stress over.” Athena pinned her stern gaze on her husband. The same husband is actively trying to avoid her penetrating gaze.

“What I did-’

“Is in the past, Bobby. You have a second chance with that wonderful woman in that bedroom and our grandchild. Now, are you sure that having the party at the firehouse is okay?”

A hand supported the base of your back where an ache tended to stay for most of the day. That ache wasn’t the worst symptom of your pregnancy. You had heartburn constantly that tied with unfortunate constipation that had thankfully lessened. Your purse always had a cardigan for the hot flashes as well.

“Perfect! May has my car, and Bobby needed that.” Athena beamed from the open bay of the 118. One of the firefighters, Eddie, if you recalled, snagged your purse and the specific ingredient for a recipe.

“You could have borrowed Bobby’s-”

“His vehicle is in the shop Buck.” Athena interrupted the only member of the 118 you had let to officially meet.

Now there were two suspects of the sudden shortness of breath you started experiencing. It could be Poppy in the limited space in your body or the handsome firefighter. Buck had to be hands down none of the most attractive men you’d ever encountered. His dark blonde hair had minimal height, but the soft waves made your fingers itch to feel it. His ocean blue eyes crinkled at the corners with mirth.

“Ah, so you’re flesh and blood of Cap?” Buck questioned from in front of you. His blue eyes centred solely on you, with half a mind thanking himself that he could navigate the station blindfolded in the dark.

“For the last twenty-seven years, I have been.” You retorted, stopping at the edge of the stairs to the apparatus. Your keen sense of smell catching one of your favourite meals your father had dug up from the recipes he hadn’t used in years.

A zing of electricity trailed off your arm when a calloused palm met yours. Your e/c eyes followed the path of tan skin until it reached the shirt sleeve of Buck’s t-shirt. The shirt emblazoned on the chest with the department’s insignia. The man in the casual uniform guided you safely up the stairs with his hand on your back.

The pressure of Buck’s hand on your aching back muscle nearly brought what would be an embarrassing moan from your lips. Thankfully a gasp of surprise fell out instead at the banner hanging with other decorations.

“What?” You choked, cupping your hands to your face. Pure unadulterated shock and affection flooded every inch of you.

The entire 118 squad intermixed with their loved ones surrounded the open area with grins. On a table behind everyone was many wrapped gifts. But the cake was the most impressive.

A large rectangular cake in the realistic shape of a fire engine parked in front of a fire hydrant with a fondant hose going to the truck. On top of the fire truck was the turnout boots next to the matching helmet, the 118 proudly on it. You adored the turnout coat draping off the top to hang off the side.

“If you look at the helmet, it says Poppy.” Buck enthused, guiding you even closer to catch the immaculate cake, “It has to be the best cake we’ve gotten from them.”

“Hey, my rebar head cake was phenomenal!” Chimney called with a belying grin on his face. His hand encased by a brunette woman about his height with her heels on.

“It’s a long story.” Buck offered as soon as you gave him a weird questioning look, “Let me introduce you to everyone!”

For the next five minutes, you spend it by meeting the family of 118, including Eddie’s completely adorable son. Christopher was happy to sit next to you as soon as Harry had found you. Slowly the others came closer to hear the stories.

“What’re the most common injuries on the beach?” Denny, Hen and Karen’s ten-year-old son questioned.

“Bluebottle Jellyfish stings. On one day, we had hundreds of people come to the tower for stings, and the treatment for the minor ones is stingose spray and ice.”

“My question is how a girl from Minnesota is a lifeguard in Australia. Especially on Sydney’s most dangerous beach.” Chimney inserted, waving his bottle of pop at you, his eyes kept moving towards the wine Maddie brought.

Unfortunately, the 118 wouldn’t be celebrating with the wine until their shifts ended in a few short hours. It was a damn miracle they hadn’t been called out yet.

“This former Minnesotan spent summers at my best friend’s parents’ place in Cali as a lifeguard. Also, Bondi is not the most dangerous beach in Sydney. That’s Tamarama.” You pointed towards the man who raised his hands in surrender.

“Have you ever seen a dead body?” Harry asked, bringing a sobering silence in the question’s wake.

Your body language changed as soon as he asked, “Unfortunately, I’ve seen death as a paramedic and as a lifeguard.”

“You’re a paramedic? I thought you were just a lifeguard?” Buck asked, interested in the new information. Buck could feel his Captain’s eyes on the back of his head; he was sure Bobby could smell the attraction on Buck.

“Casual lifeguard. Called when needed as a backup.” You turned your e/c eyes towards the arguably youngest member of the 118.

“How many dead-”

“Harry.” Athena warned her son from continuing a topic that killed the ease and happiness you’d shown previously, “Why don’t we stop talking about-”

“Too many, Harry.” You interrupted your stepmom with a gentle smile towards the woman, “It’s not just drowning that claims lives but also the cliffs surrounding the beaches. Lifeguards patrol more than the beaches and water. Lifeguards respond to medical emergencies, mostly spinal until the paramedics arrive.”

“Oh-”

“I had a fellow lifeguard leave the job because of the suicides we deal with.”

“...who wants cake?” Karen used the quiet interlude of the much too serious topic for a group of kids barely in the double digits of ages. All referenced children followed Hen’s life to the beautiful baked creation.

“Sorry for getting dark there.”

“We all know the dark side of the jobs we chose to do. You sound like you miss Australia. Are you going to return there?” Eddie questioned with one eye pinned on his son, consuming more sugar than he wished.

Eddie’s question did raise self-doubt, but you knew that ultimately living in Australia was no longer a viable option. 

“There’s nothing there for me.”

Eddie, Buck and your father understood that mentality to a ‘t’ with family complications keeping them away. Your father for obvious reasons, whereas Eddie and Buck each had a living family with opinions only they saw right.

“You’re always welcome here. Especially when you bring that little cutie to the firehouse.” Maddie cooed towards your baby bump. The 911 dispatcher had asked many questions about your pregnancy.

 Maddie was the type of person who could make a stranger feel like they had known for their entire lives.

“Here.”

A plate of the cake was thrust in front of your face courtesy of Maddie’s brother Buck. It is quite literally the perfect size you could ask for. In his other hand, he had a new bottle of water waiting for you to grab.

“Thank you, Buck.” Your shock must have shown in your voice when his cheeks flushed.

“This whole party is a celebration for you, so you shouldn’t have to get up...unless you want to!” Buck rushed to respond, getting more flustered with the amused look of his older sister on him, “You’re already doing something absolutely amazing, so you should get to rela-”

“Buck!” You laughed, ending the older man’s rambling thoughts. The entire party attendees had started watching Buck’s failed smooth attempt.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Buck mutely nodded in response, “No prob-”

The bell was the one to interrupt him instead. The on-duty firefighters rushed down from the upper levels to the lockers. The swift suiting up impressed you as it was like you blinked, and the bay was empty.

“Should be the last call before they get off shift.” Maddie, still occupied with the cake she was eating, “That wine looks so good!”

Your attention snapped from the vacant spots the 118 vehicles parked to the woman ploughing down on the cake. Sure it was good, but not that good. Maybe you could tell as a pregnant woman, or perhaps you just caught some of the symptoms you felt.

“How far along are you?”

Maddie froze, “What are you talk-”

“You’re pregnant, right?”

“Don’t tell anyone. Chim and I found out recently, but we want to wait on telling people. Once the first trimester is over, everyone can know.” Maddie pleaded with two hands cupped under her chin in a prayer position. The pretty brunette using the puppy dog eyes on the new friend she’d made.

“You should tell Buck-”

“We will once we enter the safe zone. So tell me about your baby’s father.” Maddie swiftly changed the subject, unaware of the ache developing in your midsection.

“Lucas Gowan.” You mussed, recalling the freckled half Australian half Scots man with the thick red locks.

“Ooh, is he still in Australia?”

“Technically, he is. I met him at the grocery store near the university campus. I’d transferred to escape my grief. It was purely an attraction at first sight before developing into love at first sight. We convocated and moved into a cosy little place. We’d only just found out about the baby when Lucas passed away.”

As you told Maddie, your hand had moved to cradle the only remaining piece of Lucas. 

“His death was unexpected and sudden. He’d taken a run the morning of our scan to find out baby Gowan’s gender. He fell off the side of the cliff. I was told he died instantly. The investigator believes his shoelace untied, and he stepped on it. Fell right off the side.”

“I’m so sorry.” Maddie breathed, leaning closer to hold your hands in her own, “He’d be so proud of you. For returning to the states. Do you keep in contact with his family?”

“He was an only child. Parents died in a car accident when he was ten years old. He was in foster care until he aged out of the system. Poppy is named after his mom.”

Maddie instinctively knew talking about Lucas was, “You know you get along pretty well with Buck... I’ve never seen him so flustered.”

“Maddie, I can tell you are a very intelligent woman, but you’re wrong here. Why would a guy like Buck be interested in a pregnant woman with a reconciling relationship with her father and his Captain while grieving her baby’s dad?”

Maddie tilted her head to the side, “Because I know my brother. He’s only ever had that look when I first moved to LA. Back when Abby was still important to him.”

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree.”

Maddie’s mouth opened to speak, but you were saved by the bell when Athena called you over for pictures. Then her attempts got thwarted once more when the 118 returned to the house perfectly synced to the end of shift.

“Driving here was the last time until the baby’s here. You’ve got precious cargo-”

“I’m seven months pregnant; I can still drive. There’s no law saying I can’t-”

Never argue with Athena Grant-Nash, “It may not be illegal, but I won’t endanger my daughter or my granddaughter.”

“I have to get to my OB/GYN appointment tomorrow. You and Dad each have a long shift during my scheduled appointment. Harry is both too young to drive and in school. May has a shift at dispatch. There’s literally no one available to take me.”

Bobby watched as two of the most important women in his life argued over something as trivial as driving. Harry shook at listening to someone fighting against his mother; she could be terrifying.

“I can take her.”

Everyone in the fir house turned to the voice who’d offered suddenly and found the sheepish form of a tall firefighter. Eddie’s eyebrows raised at his best friend.

“I don’t work tomorrow. I’ve got no plans. Albert’s got some date with a girl at her place.”

“I couldn’t put you out.”

“You need a ride, and I’ll be bored, so why not take my new friend to her baby doctor.”

“Baby doctor?” Hen parroted to her wife in astonishment towards her coworker and close friend. Both the women found the blatant flirting from Buck to the soon to be mother.

“She’ll take you up on the offer. She’s staying in our guest room. Come early for breakfast before you go. We’ll be having waffles.”

Buck found any excuse to visit the Grant-Nash home with the motive to hang out with you ever since the baby shower. From delivering baked goods from your favourite bakery to insisting on driving you to appointments. Didn’t matter if Athena or Bobby could take you; Buck was adamant he drove you.

The friendship was easy going and very natural, like a ball glove still moulded perfectly to your hand. The hangouts in your home evolved to weekly visits to restaurants with guidelines to the current event happening worldwide. 

Ultimately it even led to a test date.

“You look breathtaking.” Buck breathlessly informed you once he’d gently pushed your chair closer to the table.

“Thank you.” You kindly responded despite thinking the complete opposite to the charming man sitting across from you.

Athena and May had helped you get ready for the date with calming words on how going on a date so far into the pregnancy was okay. Then, your father had tentatively inserted himself with sage advice on re-entering the dating scene.

“I thought we could grab some ice cream after,” Buck spoke up as soon as the waiter had taken your drink order. Buck had decided to refrain from alcohol and went with glasses of lemonade and water.

“You shouldn’t say that. I’ll just want ice cream.” You snickered, caressing the taut belly you’d grown to love. In fact, the firm push of a heel announced Poppy’s agreement with ice cream as dessert.

“How is Poppy?”

“The doc says she’s right on track. Healthy all around and in the position, she’s supposed to be at this stage.” Buck adored the affectionate smile that always appeared when the topic of your pregnancy was brought up.

“That’s amazing! Bobby gushes about you and Poppy. The fridge has an entire door dedicated to sonograms of Poppy. Even a few from that maternity shoot Hen and Maddie surprised you with.”

A few weeks had passed since the baby shower the 118 had surprised you with. Maddie had announced her pregnancy to the joy of the chosen family she had. Bobby had put together a crib he had painted. Michael, Athena’s ex-husband, had started making plans for adding on to the house for a room for the baby.

Despite informing the architect, you planned on moving out when you had saved enough, he’d made a sound argument. Athena would want a place for the baby to stay when you visited, or the woman demanded to babysit.

Now you found yourself in a National forest not far from Los Angeles, posing in front of nature. A surprise photoshoot Hen and Karen had organized with Karen’s brother Trey. Maddie and Athena had been the ones who drove you.

“Hold the teddy bear on your bump,” Trey informed you from behind his professional and intimidating camera. The photographer praised you in the rapid movement to listen to his offer.

“Hey! Maddie! You should take a few photos. I need a pee break.” You didn’t wait for Maddie to respond in your rush to the somewhat rustic bathroom hut.

By the time you returned, Maddie was taking a couple pictures. Then you took some with Athena to have on the nursery walls and for Bobby to have a photo for his desk.

“Now one with all three of you.”

Present

“So a daredevil.” You stated unsurprised that the firefighter had a history of recklessness. You don’t go into firefighting without a taste for danger.

“The bruises and blood fit better than the awful bleached hair during my time in Peru.” Buck laughed, recalling the questionable choice in his fashion pre-firefighting. Sometimes he missed the people he encountered in his period of self-discovery.

“You didn’t wear puka sh-”

“I did. Bleached hair, puka shells and Hawaiian shirts were my staples during my bartending years. I fit in with the aesthetic of the bar I tended.”

“Buck!” You nearly gasped at his raw honesty. Buck didn’t hold back any answers to your questions, but you each strayed from the topic of family.

Talking about the tragic family history wasn’t a good idea on the first time regardless of the time you’d known each other.

“You’re telling me-” Buck halted as soon as he caught the flash of discomfort flicker over your beautiful features, “Are you okay?”

“She shifted. Been sitting on my blad-” You cut yourself off with a hiss of pain. Buck’s eyes widened at the pain taking over your features, “Oh, that hurt.”

Buck went straight into work mode, “Have you been in pain for long?”

“No. A few cramps here and there today, but my doctor said it was nothing to worry about.” You informed the experienced first responder resting level to your knees.

Buck didn’t want to say it, but he was sure that you’d gone into early labour. There was no indication your water had broken, but he kept over the last hour together. Every once in a while, you shifted or pressed a hand to your bump.

“Has your water broken?”

You shook your head, “No, but...oh... that’s not a cramp.”

With that statement out, you clenched your fingers tight on the edge of the table as pain rippled in your belly. A contraction that stole your breath momentarily. In your contraction, Buck had dialled 911. Buck recalled that sometimes a woman’s water doesn't break until right before the birth.

“We’re not getting that ice cream, are we?” You snorted upon being lifted onto the gurney. How fortunate or unfortunate you were to have the 118 right there.

Hen had taken a position at your feet to check on your lower body while Chimney took your vital signs. You honestly didn’t like the look Hen and Chimney shared with Buck.

“What is it?”

“We’re gonna need to deliver here.” Hen sighed, giving you the facts that terrified you. When you envisioned having the baby, it was in a medical centre. Not in a restaurant.

“My office is large and away from the crowd if you want. I can show you the way.” Sophie, the restaurant manager, offered already starting to lead the way. Sophie would never know how thankful you felt for being able to have privacy.

“Okay, Y/N, is it okay if I check how dilated you -.” Hen breathed with her hand, gently disappearing until the thin blanket Chimney procured from the stocked ambulance, “Y/N when I saw I want you to do that.”

Hen didn’t need to check your dilation when she could see the baby’s head already.

“I’m right here.” Buck cooed in your ear. He had held your hand as his coworkers did their jobs around you.

“This isn’t the way I envisioned you seeing my pu-”

“Push.” Hen urged, cutting off your almost vulgar language, but it eased the tension in the small restaurant office. You couldn’t even see Buck’s flustered reaction as you bore down with the contraction, “Good! Take a breath.”

“You’re a strong woman. It never ceases to amaze me the strength women have.” Buck spoke, keeping your e/c eyes on his blue ones. His hand raised to push a strand of your sweaty hair off your temple.

“Once more push!” Hen called out just in time with the last contraction. The feeling of the pressure between your legs popping was moan inducing.

Poppy was silent. Your entire body froze, yearning for the sweet sound of crying instead of the eerie silence. The world stood still as Chimney worked on your baby girl.

“Pulse is strong,” Chimney announced, keeping his attention on the task of clearing Poppy’s throat and nose. And that sweet sound of crying commenced, “Congratulations Y/N, you have a beautiful baby girl. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Your father beat the ambulance to the nearest ER in pure anticipation at meeting his granddaughter Poppy Nash Gowan. He barely noticed as Buck stuck to your side like glue. Bobby waited outside the door as you got checked over in the room.

“Quite the first date.” You mused towards Buck, who hovered in awe over the life form you had carried for nine months. You’d been pregnant for three quarters of an entire year to his fascination. 

“All my meaningful relationships started with a medical emergency.” Buck finally looked up at you. He’d kept Poppy company in the bassinet while you delivered the afterbirth upon entering the hospital.

“Seriously?”

“Had a tracheostomy on Valentine’s Day with Abby, an earthquake with Ali and a newscaster in a crashed helicopter.” Buck listed off. He hadn’t even noticed scooping the newborn into his arms until he’d sat in the chair by your bed, “Why not add a sudden labour and delivery.”

“He would have liked you.”

The sentence came out of absolutely nowhere. Almost like something had ripped it out of your vocal cords. At the look of confusion, you elaborated.

“Lucas. He would have liked you. I think if it is possible, he might have pushed me into meeting you. I’ll still need to take it slow, but I’d like to give this a shot.”

That was all Buck needed to lean in closer to kiss you—the first of many kisses.

Some might disagree on how quick your relationship with Buck developed, but they didn’t know yours at all. It was natural with the firefighter who stepped into the role of father figure for a growing Poppy. By the time Poppy was one, you’d moved into a house not far from your father’s place with Buck. By the time Poppy was three, a pretty ring had sat on your finger. By five, the young girl had a baby brother. 

“Your parents spoil Poppy.”

“You say that like you didn’t crawl into her crib during her afternoon naps.” You deadpanned towards your husband. Buck had the nerve to sheepishly grin, “You give in each time she says ‘pwetty pwease’ for a cookie.”

“It’s a crime to make her sad!” Buck defended himself, but a grin of amusement threatened his act, “Besides, you crack each time too!”

“Mhm. Just wait until Theo can talk.” You pressed a kiss to the sleeping infant strapped into the baby carrier. Theodore Robert Buckley could fall asleep in a thunderstorm if he was in Buck’s arms.

“Oh! Maddie wants to have Poppy over for a play date. Madster’s been begging for her cousin to have a sleepover.”

Maddie and Chimney’s daughter was only a few months younger than your daughter, but the two were thick as thieves. Buck had referred to the Han daughter as Madster with how similar her mannerisms were to her mother.

“Think they’d take the rascal?”

“Is this code for you wanting to have another?” Buck questioned with a twinkle of mischief in his blue eyes. The same blue Theo had inherited along with a birthmark like Buck’s on his bicep.

“I-” You choked, blinking furiously, “Evan, I pushed Theo out of my body barely three months ago!”

Buck inconspicuously winked in response with the sudden scream of excitement coming from Poppy. The rambunctious five-year-old ploughed into Buck’s legs full force. Falling into the practised ease, you’d unstrapped Theo from Buck’s chest and promptly had his tiny body stolen into his grandpa’s arms.

“There’s my boy.” Bobby cooed to the sleep drunk tiny infant. The little baby is crowded by his Gram Athena and Aunt May, “Gonna have to get you a Minnesota Wilds jersey.”

“Hell no. That boy is LA born and bred. He’ll be wearing a Kings jersey like the civilized.” Michael announced with the sudden arrival of Theo and Poppy’s Uncle Harry.

“Mommy? When are we going to Stralia?” Poppy inquired from right beside your leg. Her tiny handheld is the giant one of her dad.

“In a few weeks. Are you excited to see the mommy’s old friends again?”

“Hm. Can we see Dada?”

Buck may be Poppy’s father, but he’d never let Poppy go without knowing she had two fathers in all. Her first one waiting to meet here decades from the time she was born and solely referenced Lucas as Dada. Buck was grateful for the man who brought Poppy into existence; the little green-eyed tot Buck could never regret. Unlike Buck’s parents keeping his older brother’s existence a secret, the firefighter refused to follow in their footsteps. He’d continue to shower the late Lucas in gratitude and respect. He refused to make the same mistakes as Phillip and Margaret Buckley.

“Of course. C’mon Poppy, time to say goodbye.” Buck guided the little girl to the extended family showering her little brother with love. The little girl was quickly swung into Bobby’s arms, and Athena cooing at your infant son.

Changes. The six-letter word doesn’t have to be terrifying. It can be breathtaking, memorable and beautiful to experience. 

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[just-someone-who-likes-to-write]

Soulmate AU

(Requested by: @deathordesire​ :  Hello!! I saw your prompts are open--would you be open to doing Nuada x human female reader? I really like the idea that they are mates or mate au and hes like jajshshe omg humans but likes her and all. Lemme know what you think! )

(A/N): I am sorry for the long wait, and sorry if the story or ending wasn’t as perfect as you would have probably expected, but I still hope that you and others would enjoy it! Sorry if it’s too long!!

Warnings: Grammatical Errors, Gore, harsh words. I don’t know what else to add.

Word Count: 7,021

Now, Nuada remembers the first time he felt that pull for the first time towards you. It happened the night he broke into the human organization where they kept his sister from him, he silently was killing every guard he met on his way, and you were assigned there. Your back was to him as you chatted with your colleague, and he took the chance of your distraction to strike, he sprinted towards both of you, your friend noticed him too late and the only thing he could manage was to open his mouth to warn you, but before he could do it his throat was cut, you were pushed forcefully against the wall and just as he turned around with his sword lifted to slice your throat as well he froze when his golden eyes fill on yours. You looked at him with wide eyes with fear, but his eyes were widened by shock, The hand which held the sword stuck in the air. He could not kill you, for some bizarre reason he could not kill you, it felt wrong, a fatal mistake. He finally moved when he saw you reaching out for your communication device, turning his blade upside down Nuada used the butt of his sword to knock you out unconscious. He stood there over your body starting at down at you, a strange ache started to form inside of him for hurting. Forcing the feeling away, he continued moving to his sister's location, ignoring what had happened with you, but it was difficult for whenever he wasn't preoccupied with other thoughts, an image of you immediately popped into his mind with the question if you were alright. It frustrated him greatly and he promised himself that when he takes over that he will make sure to kill you himself or at least see your dead body, which would be dead by his golden army.

That plan failed of course because here he was locked up in the humans' jail after his defeat against the demon they call Hellboy. Aside from his sister visiting him, he tried to spend his time practicing martial arts and then meditating, which proved to be challenging because for a while you kept popping in his thoughts until finally it was over and he got his peace forgetting about your existence completely. However, those forgotten thoughts came crashing down when he got his freedom by agreeing to help the human against those who threaten the balance between the two worlds, he saw you passing them by when his sister was giving him a tour around the building, you were busy reading papers and didn't notice him, but he sure as Hell noticed you, and from the twinkle familiarity in his sister's eyes as she saw you. Just before she could lift her hand and call for you Nuada brought her hand down and forced her forward and be away from you as fast as possible. Nuala was confused by his action.

 "Why did you do that?" She asked.

 "I don't want to meet any of your human friends." He answered coolly.

 It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the true answer either, which left Nuala feelings suspicious before shrugging it off and continuing the tour. Nuada knew that meeting you was inevitable but he still hoped not to have to meet you face to face. But here you were assigned to be the one who teaches him the rules in the training room and to his surprise and dare he say relief, you didn't show fear as most humans do. You just kept a nonchalant façade.

"… And of course, when you do train use nonlethal weapons, so we  can avoid accidents." You said as you pointed to the training equipment.

 "Don't try to give me orders human." He threatened but you looked unfazed, you turned to him and looked him in the eyes as you replied.

 "Or what? You will knock me out again?" You asked calmly. "Because if you took a good look around you can see that we are being watched."

 And you told the truth, you were being watched not only by a couple of humans who were there to train but also by the security cameras. Nuada growled down at you but you only smirked in return.

 He tried so bad not to smirk bad.

 He didn't understand the sudden fascination he felt towards this single human, whom later he learned her name was (Y/n), but one thing she knew is that it was bad and he needed to stop it. Remembering how time away from her helped him forget her he did his best to avoid (Y/n) and that's by locking himself in his new room and have his food brought by his sister, and if he needed company he would seek out his sister later at night when he is sure you didn't have a night shift in it, but even that was disturbed by the presence of the creature they call Abraham. The one being who was able to steal away his sister from his side. He loved seeing his sister happy, he really does, but he hated that her sore of happiness came from someone other than himself.

 "I do not understand why him." Said Nuada, when he and Nuala were alone. "Centuries ago, suitors from different clans and even different races came forward asking for your hand in marriage, and even though I despised them all, most of them was a better choice than him."

 "You still don't know?" Asked Nuala with an amused smile.

 "Know of what?" He asked.

 "Abraham is my fated mate." She answered with a shy smile.

 Nuada was shocked and left to be alone for the rest of the evening and a few more days. Nuala tried reaching him but he didn't answer, so she left him to his thoughts, believing that he was upset with her. However, Nuada was not, it was true that he did not approve of her mate but Abraham was nonetheless. Humans would call it a myth but having a "Fated Mate" was very much true, their senses were just far weaker than the supernatural beings senses, so they can never feel it when they meet "The One". They will never know how life will suddenly feel empty without them, how they will suddenly feel they have a purpose, how they will do anything to be by them. They won't be able to live without their touch, to hear her sweet laughter echo in the air, to see the shine of her bright eyes as she succeeded in something, the sound of her soft voice in his head, how his every thought… will be… occupied… by only… Her…

 Nuada shoots up at that last thought, his eyes widened in realization.

 "No…No no no no no no " He kept muttering to himself as he based around his room.

 It cannot be possible, his mate can never be a human. For centuries he dreamed of a life with a soul that was meant to him and he for them, but now, here he was with the possibility of his other half being a human. Nuada would rather live the rest of his life alone than being mated to a low-life human. In fact, an idea of a human mate sounds so absurd that Nuada was determined to prove it wrong.

 He decided to ignore her and not by leaving the same room she enters, but by ignoring her presence as if she was never there. He went to the training room at a time he knew (Y/n) would be there, as long as he doesn't think or even glance at her as he did his own training. It was difficult at first, his neck ached with every time he almost turned around to see (Y/n) at the sound of her voice but as the string warrior he is, he resisted the temptation to even glance in her direction. It was going to be a success, he could have walked out of the room, training finished and mind free from the human, but one pull, one simple feeling of pull urged him to glance at you from over his shoulder, and that's when he saw you on the floor staring with wide eyes at your opponent who was holding what looked like a glaive over his head ready to strike her. the next few moments were a blur but when Nuada realized his surrounding he found himself point the glaive at (Y/n)'s opponent who was now on the ground eyes staring at the edge of the blade in terror, and Nuada was feeling… fury.

 "You Imbecile!" He shouted. "The rules clearly stated to not use real weapons for a reason, if any harm came to (Y/n) I would-"

 He stopped the flow of his words when felt the gentlest touch on his shoulder, he turned and saw that it was a very worried (Y/n), who tried her best to put on a brave face, whether her worry was for what almost had happened to her a few moments ago or because he was holding a weapon so close to a humans neck, he didn’t know.

 "It's alright Nuada, he was just being irresponsible, but he learned his listen now." She turned to look at the fallen human. "Didn't you?"

 The human man only nodded profusely. Nuada felt (Y/n)'s soft tug on his arm, silently pleading him to spare him, and slowly he did pull away, then threw the weapon to the ground and hurriedly left the room ignoring the calls of his name, which gave a small ache in his heart for ignoring it. That night Nuada stayed in his room with his face buried in his hands trying to comprehend that he was going to draw blood and risk his freedom for (Y/n)'s sake. He doesn't even feel regret towards his action, rather a great relief to know that she is safe thanks to him. Nuada placed his left hand over his right arm, specifically over the spot that (Y/n)'s hand was on to stop him. His brows furrowed in discomfort when he remembered the look on her face, and his ears are still ringing from her voice calling him, he wanted nothing more than to go to her room to not only make sure she was safe but to apologize for ignoring her. With a groan of anger, Nuada retired to his bed and forced himself to sleep, ignoring the little voice in the back of his head that screamed at him to find their mate immediately. But the elven prince only closed his eyes and drifted into sleep hoping to escape the (H/c) headed girl only to find her invading his dreams, with sweet smiles and laughs and she gazed at him lovingly.

 ---

 "What do you mean she left?" Asked Nuada in a low threatening tone to the frightened man.

 He had come to the training room again to try and ignoring (Y/n) presence successfully this time, but deep down it was truly to see her again. However, when she was an hour late Nuada approaches the same man that he almost killed for almost harming his mate, and asked him of her whereabouts and when will she be around, only to be told that she left later that same night. She was taking a vacation for who knows how long and to where. If Nuada didn't remember the cameras that are watching him he would have probably slide the human's throat in frustration, he simply just left the room, having no longer the motivation to train.

 "Because (Y/n) isn't there for you to impress."

 Nuada just shook his head at the small voice, which had been taunting him for a long while now. He doesn't need to impress her or prove to her anything.

 "Yes, you need to prove to her that you are a capable mate whom she deserves."

 Nuada let out a loud groan that made everyone around him flinch away in fear of his sudden foul mood, escaping being the source of his relief, which means a trip to the infirmary. That's it. He needed to escape those damned thoughts that had been plaguing his mind, and meditation cannot help him anymore, he needs to shed blood, to fight. So he quickly changed his directions to reach the human in charge and demand to be sent on a mission even if it was as simple as a patrol. He needed to escape everything and anything that reminded him of (Y/n).

 ---

 You couldn't wipe away the grin from your face as you casually walked through the hallways while keeping an eye open for one special elf prince. Your colleagues had texts you multiple times over your time away and informed you of how Nuada kept asking about your whereabouts, how long will you take away, and who were you with. Your friends thought his actions were weird, but for you, it was a sign that your attempts to befriend him are working so well. He had indeed killed your colleagues in front of you, massacred many, tried to raise an ancient army to erase humanity from existence and rule overall. However, you couldn't ignore the reasoning behind it, he lost everything and he only did what he thought was right. Besides all that Nuala had told you many stories about him, how truly good and kind he was, how the war between the two worlds of humans and supernatural had ruined his mind, you could tell that there were many other reasons for Nuada's hatred towards humans but you didn't push any further with questions and just settled with what you know now. And so, when Nuada was finally free you decided to try and befriend him or at least make him feel welcomed, which proved difficult because he would snare at any human who tried getting too close to him and avoiding you like the plague. You believed that he was avoiding for the reason that his intimidation acts didn't work on you and since he can't harm you physically he decided to escape your presence.

 Until that incident in the training room.

 Your training partner was getting annoyed with the many times you kicked his butt in hand in hand combat and he thought he could at least try and intimidate you to put you in line and what better way to do so than use a freaking glaive against you. You could easily dodge his clumsy strike, but you accidentally tripped on your back, and since you had no time to move you just closed your eyes shut and waited for the pain. However, it never came, and when you opened your eyes to see the reason you were met with the back of the Elf prince who was not only yelling at the stupid man but also pointing the weapon to his neck ready to slaughter him. That made the flashback of when he slaughtered the man in front of you start and you felt as if someone dumped cold water down your back. Despite your obvious fear, you moved forward to stop him, which thankfully worked. When he left you chased after him to at least thank him for saving you but before you could go too far another agent pulled you back and told you to follow him to Manning's office to discuss what had happened.

 You are a great agent, one of the very best, but because of your gender Manning still saw you as a vulnerable thing, and that's why he offered you a fully paid vacation to calm your nerves. The man can be great at times, but most of the time he acts in a way that makes you wanna punch him in the face. However, it is rare to get a vacation in such a long time and a paid one too, so you didn't let the chance slip away from your hands. Then a few days later you were spammed with messages of how Nuada is asking about you and being more agitated than usual after your absence. You didn't want to lift your hopes up but you couldn't help the feeling of excitement you felt as you shortened your vacation to only one week just so you can hurry back and try again to befriend Nuada. The others either thought you mad out outcasted you because of it, because not only are you trying to befriend a prisoner but also the being that killed their friends and partners. You tried to explain to them that everyone made mistakes in life even severe ones and deserve a second chance, but they didn't listen. You understood their reasoning and forgave those who gave you dirty looks.

 Turning to another hallway and stopped in your tracks when you saw in the distant Nuada conversating with his sister who seemed to be very worried, however, most of your attention was on him, you had to take deep breaths to calm your beating heart. You didn't know if it was because of your teen attraction for bad boys returning, or because you reached a level of desperation that you would look any male even the murderous Elf in a different light, but what you know is deep down inside you, you could feel something the urged you to approach Nuada, you could have easily ignored it, but you always trusted your gut and now here you were.

 You took one last deep breath before walking forward to the royal siblings.

 "Hey, Nuala!" You called with a smile, and you could swear that from the corner of your eye you saw Nuada tense at your voice.

 "(Y/n)!" Nuala greeted back. "When did you return?"

 "I came back yesterday." You answered before stealing a glance at the prince who was avoiding your gaze but when your eyes met your cheeks flushed lightly at the sight of his golden eyes, but held yourself together. "Hello there."

 You tried to greet him but he only groaned before again ignoring you, your smile flattened, you didn't feel hurt just sudden nervousness because you truly believed that he would at least return the greeting. Nuala however, mistook your small frown as sadness and she turned to him.

 "Brother, don't be rude and return the greeting." She lectured. "It is the least you could do."

 "Why should I?" He retorted. "She is just a simple human."

 "A simple human who you ask about?" You couldn't help but ask.

 You caught his eyes slightly widen, which confirmed that what you have been told was true. Nuala turned to you a look full of bewilderment on her face.

 "He asked for you?" She asked, You nodded.

 "Yes, well, at least that's what I have been told." You answered truthfully. You heard him scuff pulling both your and Nuala's attention towards him.

 "And what if I have?" He asked rhetorically. "Don't get over your head human."

 "It's alright if you did ask." You assured, hoping that maybe he was just, dare you say, shy at being caught. "I mean after what happened last time I thought-"

 "You thought wrong." He interrupted. "The reason for my action was to prevent myself from being accused of something I wasn't the cause of. I did not do it for the likes of you."

 "Oh…" That was all you managed to say.

 You could feel a sting from his words, and it must have shown because Nuala rushed in front of Nuada to stop him.

 "Brother, what you said was uncalled for." She lectured. "(Y/n) is a very nice human, she only wants to befriend you, like how she did with me and everyone else."

 "Befriend me?" He asked with a mocking grin. "She is only trying to make herself feel better by acting nice, that's how all humans act, I have seen it many times beforehand."

 He turned to you his golden eyes staring directly into your own.

 "You are a leach." He said pushing his sister away to take a few steps closer. "You slither into those who are marked outcast by everyone else, and act as if you were "Different" from everyone else, that you "Cared", but all you truly care about is to walk around with said "New friend" as you silently say how you are better and superior to everyone else only because you did something that no one else dared to do."

 You stared at him with wide eyes at his accusations, and that seemed to only confirm his words to him.

 "I know what the other humans say when you befriended Hellboy, Abraham, and now my own sister." He sneered. "I will not be added to your pathetic list of small victories."

 "I…I don’t have…" You tried to say but he cut you off again.

 "Let's say you did not have a list, and you only did all that out of the Kindness of your heart. " He said the last part mockingly. "What made you believe that I would ever accept a pathetic human such as yourself a friend?... A human who can't even protect herself, I am amazed at how did you get a job here when you almost died only by my hands but also by a colleague of yours, who knows how many times you were lucky enough to escape your doom by being protected or have another human take the fall for you. You can't even protect how on earth can you protect humankind."

 You said nothing.

 "If the Red demon wasn't among you, you would have been dead by now, or a slave serving as a footstool for me." He stomped his foot at the last part making you let out a gasp of surprise and take a cautious step backward.

 Nuada stood his ground waiting for you to run away in fear of him like any other human would, But you didn't. You slowly lifted your head up to finally meet his eyes again and he could feel his heartache at the Hurtful look you had in your eyes as you gave him a weak smile. He could feel his body slightly shaking with regret, his instinct told him to fall on his feet and as for your forgiveness as he did everything to restore your beautiful smile once again.

 "I'm sorry, Prince Nuada." You said in such a polite tone, losing your friendly act, treating him like the royalty he was.

 "Please don't…" He tried to say but couldn't.

 "I did not mean to offend you in any way."

 "I was the one who let his pride take over!"

 "But please now that my actions towards you were only genuine."

 "I know!.. You are the sweetest creature on earth, who wants good for all!"

 "I will respect your wants and needs, so from now on I will stop approaching you."

 "NO!...No please don’t!"

 "I will be leaving now."

 You said before giving but him and Nuala a polite nod and turning on your heels to leave. He almost shot his hand forward to stop you from walking away, but Nuala got between the two of you with a very angry look on her face.

 "How could you say these things to her?" Asked Nuala in a hissed tone, never did Nuada see her so angry with him, disappointed yes, but not angry and he would have been concerned if he wasn’t already feel punished enough.

 Nuada was staring at you and you continued to walk away, his sister kept lecturing but he didn’t her hear, her voice a muffled background noise as he saw you turn a corner and disappear from sight making the ache greater, he was pulled out of his train of thoughts when he realized that his sister was quite…..and that his hand is being held. By instinct Nuada flinched backward away from Nuala, already realizing what had happened. His eyes were wide with horror, while his sister’s eyes were wide with realization. His shock then became anger.

 “Brother, You-“

 “I told you many times to NEVER read my thoughts!” He screamed angrily at her making her flinch.

 Nuada let out an angry growl before turning around and leaving to anywhere he can, to escape not only (Y/n) but also his own sister. He could hear Nuala trying to run after while repeatedly saying sorry and asking him to stop walking away but he didn’t and when he saw how she won’t stop chasing after him he started running from her knowing very well she won’t be able to catch up to him. After taking a few turns and knowing that his sister won't be able to catch up to him Nuada slowed down and made his way to Manning's office to request time out in the open green area to meditate because Gods know he needs it to calm his nerves and collect his thoughts. Because not only did he chase you away, for good this time, but also because now his sister knows of what is he feeling and what is happening in his head… Deep down in his head… that part which he still refuses to listen to.

 Even though he knows he is right by now.

  ---

 Nuada was in the moving vehicle with Abraham and Hellboy, heading to the next mission in some small town.

 "They said that it was only adult humans who went missing one or two at first, but then the numbers started to grow that even children were nowhere to be found." Said Abraham.

 "Anything in common with them?" Asked Hellboy.

 "The only thing is that they all disappeared near the forests." He answered, looking up from the file. "They went in but never came out."

 Hellboy cursed under his breath at the mention of children's possible death, ever since the breath of his own dear twins the topic of children's death on missions became a sensitive topic. Nuada however didn't care for all that, the only thing that plagued his mind was the human who was ahead of them in another vehicle with other human agents who were sent alongside them, this is the closest he had gotten to her since their last encounter.

 The prince believed that it would be for the best that things remain the way they are, she would continue with her life, find someone to share it with, start a family to grow old with, and then… And then he would die of old age, feeling happy and continent, while he would continue living to pay for his crimes and then devote himself to his people, he knew the next step would be marrying an elf to produce a hire to take his place in the future, but such thought made his stomach turn in disgust, that it was wrong. Then maybe he should make his future niece or nephew the hire to the throne after him because as much as he doesn't like it, his sister will have children of her own even if it was with the bluefish, and if he did decide to grow old and alone they will take his place.

 "We are here." A human called from the front pulling Nuada out of his thoughts, that when he realized that the vehicle they were in had stopped a long while ago. He followed Hlleboy and Abraham out.

 The human was already setting things up and preparing to venture into the forest. As he scanned the area he caught you rechecking your magazines and filling those who were not full with more bullets. He couldn’t help the small smile he had at the determination you showed after finishing your preparation, unknown to him Abraham had noticed it and he had a look of pity for the Elf Prince.

 “Alright, we will split into teams and because we don’t want any incidents Nuada and Red will be separated each one will be put in a human group.” Explained the human who was put in charge of this mission.

 Nuada immediately joined a human group that (Y/n) wasn’t a part of and red joined another. Abraham stayed back to give instructions in case what they are dealing with was new. As the two groups ventured into the forest Nuada stayed on high alert listening to anything or anyone. After almost an hour of just walking deep into the wood, a sudden movement made everyone tense and turn to pint their weapons in the direction of the sound. However, all the human agents let their guns down when a beautiful human woman with long black hair and pale beaten skin run towards them, she looked tired and terribly scared, when she saw them she started to cry in relief.

 "Finally some help!" she cried out. Nuada who was the only one who still had his weapon up brought his silverlance close to the woman's throat but was pushed away by the other humans who circled the woman to add her.

 "What are you doing you psycho!" Said the man. "This is a human being we should take her back to get treatment."

 "No!" Cried the woman as she slightly pulled away from the men. "My friends are still in danger, we should go and save them!"

 "Of course Ma'am, just tell us where they are." Said the man but she still shook her head.

 "I don't remember the directions, but I can walk you there."

 She pulled away completely from the group of men to go in the same direction she came from when Nuada was sure that no one would stop him this time he charged forward and used his silverlance to decapitate the woman's head. As her limp body and head fell to the ground one of the men who were in shock charged at him to grab him by his collar.

 "You killed a human woman!" He screamed. "I will make sure that you will rot in jail for a long-"

 "Uhh…Simon." One of them called.

 "What!?" Said the human named Simon angrily.

 His anger quickly melted away and he pulled away from Nuada when he saw the woman's body twitch and change form into that of a big black horse whose mouth and part of his head looked as if it was in the middle of decomposing for the skeleton was showing. That image however was gone quickly as the body melted into a disgusting black goo. The human men looked petrified by the sites, Nuada was the only one who came forward to inspect the goo.

 "W...What in the hell was that!?" Asked one of the men quietly as to not drow any more of those monsters towards them.

 "That thing was as you human call it a Kelpie." Explained Nuada. "A malicious creature who live near the water, they can shapeshift into beautiful women or horses to lure their victims so they can drown them and devour their dead corpse."

 The men looked at each other in fear before they instinctively took a fighting position and pointed their guns around them in case another Kelpie showed up. Nuada just sighed at their action and refrained from giving any harsh comments about their idiocy. He scanned the area and he could hear, see, and sense nothing, there wasn't any other Kelpie around. He brought a hand to activate the earpiece he was given to contact everyone else.

 "I know what we are up against." He informed.

 "What is it?" Asked Hellboy.

 "It's a Kelpie." He answered. "A shape-shifting being who can take the form of beautiful women or horse."

 "What!?" Exclaimed Hellboy in the speaker making Nuada want to pull the device away but he stopped when he heard the next thing.

 "(Y/n)!.. Get away from that thing!" Her scream can be heard as well as the beast who let out a victorious roar. "The bastard got (Y/n)!"

 Never did Nuada move so fast. He ran through the forest looking around frantically for any sign of you or the beast. A few gunshots were fired from the distance and Nuada ran towards it. He dodged the trees and leaped over the rocks. His mind was flashing images of your dead mutilated body floating above the waters after it had been devoured by the Kelpie, taunting him on how he could have avoided such tragedy by staying by your side and keeping you safe and sound away from all trouble.

 "You killed our mate"

 Sid the voice repeatedly torturing him further, memories of the last encounter with your came back reminding him that if (Y/n) was truly dead then his last moment with her was him hurting her feelings and being a bastard and that's would probably her last memory of him, being an Entitled Bastard. When Nuada finally reached them he saw how a group of humans were shooting two Kelpies but their bullets were in vain as they regenerated easily, however, when Hellboy shot his special bullets the Kelpies died instantly. That all did not matter to him, Nuada looked around and he saw you kneeling on the ground, you were grasping your right hand which was bleeding, and to either side of you was a human who were aiding you, but most importantly you were still alive. Nuada felt great relief when he saw no major injuries on you but it was short-lived as he saw other Kelpies coming near you, probably smelled your blood, He charged forward and swiftly decapitated one then stabbed the other straight on its forehead, both letting out one last screech before dissolving into goo. He turned to you and kneeled beside you. Looking at you closer he could see your arms, legs, and face are filled with small cuts that were bleeding, but your right hand, however, was bleeding heavily.

 "What happened?" He asked as he dropped his weapon down to examine your wound.

 "What are you doing here?" You asked in bewilderment.

 "To save you." He answered honestly ignoring his pride after the thought of losing you, His answer made your eyes wide with shock. You opened your mouth to say something but were cut off when you heard Hellboy's gunfire a couple of times.

 The Kelpies were growing in numbers determined to kill all of them and you knew that Red's special bullets will run out. You Turned to Nuada.

 "Forget me." You said pulling your injured hand away from his hold. "Go help Red."

 Nuada turned to the group of humans and demon who are struggling to keep the creatures away, being fueled by anger at the thought of one of them daring to kill his dear mate, Nuada lifted his weapon again and charged at them. He stabbed one of them in the middle causing it to screech in pain before dying. He turned to the humans who were still shooting with their guns.

 "Your weapons are useless." He said before stabbing another Kelpie. "These creatures only die from silver and Holy weapons, so if you truly want to help then take those who have been injured back and return with at least silver bullets."

 The men looked at him with astonishment before nodding and doing as he ordered, however, a few of them remained insisting on being able to help. Nuada looked over his shoulder one last time, catching you being taken away to safety made him feel great peace despite his current situation. Nuada turned around with the goal of inhalation this nest of abominations that threatened his beloved.

 ---

 When you opened your eyes from what felt like a long sleep, which for some reason you still felt a bit tired after, you winced at the brightness of the room and the pure white ceiling didn't make it any better. That when you realized you weren't at home. You blinked a couple of times and saw that you were in the infirmary surrounded by the familiar deep blue curtains that separated you from neighboring beds and gave you privacy. You tried to lift yourself up but silently grimaced at the shock of pain that came from your right hand forcing you to lay back down. You slowly lifted your right hand up to examine it and saw that it was wrapped heavily but neatly with bandages, that's when you remembered what happened and how did you get injured in the first place, which the thought of it embarrassed you, but then you remembered Nuada. The way he was concerned with your injuries made you almost think that he was the one feeling the pain ten times more.

 "You are awake." A familiar calm voice said pulling you from your train of thoughts.

 You didn't need to lift your head for he quickly seated himself at the empty chair that was to your left. His worried golden eyes searched your face and body for what you assumed is pain. Out would be lying if you didn't say that you were touched by his concern for you. You again tried to lift yourself up but his hand gently pressed your shoulder down.

 "Please don't move." Urged Nuada. "You healer said that you might need more rest."

 "No, I said that she can leave whenever she wakes up just to make sure she doesn't overdo it." Said the doctor from his desk that was nearby, If looks could kill the doctor would have been dead on her chair from the way Nuada glared at her unseen direction.

 "I'm fine, Your majesty." When those words lift your mouth Nuada gave you a pained look that you never thought he was able to make. He lowered his head

 "Please, Don't address in such a formal way." He almost begged. "call me by my name, as you used to."

 "I thought you hated it." You said and you could see his body tense at your words before he relaxed a bit.

 "I apologize for what I have said."

 You were so shocked at what he said you you shot up from your bed to at least set straight to face him properly. Of course your sudden movment made him flinch.

 "Alright, who are you?... and what did you do to prince grumpy?" You said skeptically, Nuada blinked a couple of times before he let out a small chuckle.

 "I assure you, my dear" He answered.

 The room was quiet for a while both of you not knowing what to do or say. You were happy that is true, him treating you so friendly was very good but what made it awkward for you is that it was … so suddne. What changed?

 "How did you injure your hand?" Nuada asked breaking the silence. You looked down at your bandaged hand. "You lost consiosness from bloodloss on our way back to the headqurtars."

 "It's kind of embarrassing." You said with a weary grin.

 "I would never laugh at you." He said in such a serious, which made him even odder to you.

 "Well.." You started. "We were searching around for the reason of people going missing when we saw a beautiful white horse grassing, it looked so harmless and gentle. I don't know why, but I had the sudden urge to brush its coat, and just before my hand touched it Red told me to stay away."

 "But it was too late." Sdi Nuada and you nodded.

 "my hand was stuck as if it was some kind of super glue or something.  The next thing I knew what that I was being dragged away by the beast who was running away from Hellboy. I tried to pull away but it only brought me close, and when I saw that its skin was about to cover my hand I did the one sensible thing I could think of." You shrugged as you looked down at your right hand. "And it was to shoot it off of it, and it worked but with a price. I feel stupid to have let my guard down like that."

 "You should feel that way." Said Nuada making you look to him. "The Kelpie has Hypnotic powers that draw in their prays, even if you were not human you would still fall for it."

 "Wow, you know so much about them, considering you were the only one who knew how to kill them." You said in amazement.

 "I have, unfortunately, encountered those veil creatures before." He confessed.

 "Really?" You asked and he nodded.

 "When I and Nuala were kids one of them almost took her away if not for the guard who was set to watch us she wouldn't have been here now, neither would I." He continued. "After that, I spent ages of my life to train my mind to never fall for their or any other creature hypnosis again."

 "Amazing, so you are trained body and mind." You winked at him trying to tease him. "the full package for a very lucky girl."

 Nuada stared at her for a long while rethinking his choise in telling you the truth. The moment he stepped foot back here he had prepared a thorough explanation of what mates were, followed by a speech of his love and devotion to (Y/n). How he would never let his pride take the best of him, that he would be the ever-loving mate she desires and the strong mate she deserves. But considering their first few encounters together, Nuada feared that suddenly doing so would scare his (Y/n) away, for in the end she is human so she can't feel the bound yet… But it can grow. He decided to give it time, to strengthen their bond by starting all over again, it will take time, that is true but Nuada was prepared to work hard to win (Y/n)'s love and affection the way humans do. For now, he will be the friend she deserves.

 "On the contrary my dear." He said with a smile. "I will be the one who is lucky to have her."

--- 

I hope you guys enjoyed this one, sorry that it’s very long, i enjoyed writing this version of Soulmates AU I should look into it more often in case it got requested again or I write a story about it. and just a reminder, I don’t take requests at the moment, sorry.

[rivetwrites]

I saw requests were open so could I request something like Shuichi, Kokichi, and Rantaro with a s/o who never talks about their issues/vents? And eventually they grow to notice and worry about it. Sorry if this is too much!

Don’t be sorry at all, thank you so much for the ask! I got a LOT more into this than I had expected but I hope it's still good!! - Mod Tsumugi

(Also it's under the cut because of how long it is, again I hardly expected to go this much but I got veeeery into it SOBS)

Shuichi, Kokichi, and Rantaro with a S/O who bottles things up

Shuichi Saihara

Being the ultimate detective, Shuichi was a very naturally observant person. You were no exception to this, especially once you got together- he was always sure to give you the attention and love that you deserved.

But it was because of this that, as the weeks progressed, he started to grow concerned for you.

He may not have been the most experienced with things like relationships, with his timid demeanor having held him back in the past- but despite that he understood that an important part of any relationship was communication and honesty.

While he did his best to uphold that, always sure to talk to and be honest with you- he was worried about you.

He knew that you weren't lying to him about things. More accurately, it felt like you were withholding things, not flat out lying.

The only thing that led him to that conclusion was how you… never seemed sad. Or upset, or anything negative, really. At first, he'd assumed it was just because you were cheerful and didn't have anything to vent to him about, which he was glad about! 

But as time progressed, and weeks turned into months where the only thing you ever complained about were small, non-personal things… he began to question whether you feeling cheerful was the truth, or just something that he wanted to believe.

Shuichi wasn't confrontational. He never liked to bring up difficult topics with others, especially not with you. But worry began to consume him; he knew that going this long without anything happening just wasn't realistic.

Not having much else as an option, he (very fearfully) planned to ask you about it.

It was a weekend; you two liked to simply spend time in each other's presence, you cuddled up comfortably in his lap while you scrolled through your phone.

But this wasn't the first time you two have cuddled together like this, and you could tell that he didn't seem as relaxed as he usually would.

"Shuichi?" Your voice broke through the silence of the room, looking up at him. He seemed to be caught off guard, jumping at the sound of your voice.

"Y-Yeah?" He quickly responded, a harsh pang of anxiety hitting him. Having spent the past few minutes overthinking how he'd bring it up, he had almost forgotten that you were there, and how you were able to feel how he was tense as a brick.

"Are you alright? It seems like something is really bugging you," you giggled, not wanting your tone of voice to sound serious, as to not worry him.

"Ah- yeah, of course!" He fretted, speaking quickly as he did. Now was as good a time as ever- you striking up the conversation instead of him doing it was a great opportunity.

"Hey, S/O- uhh…" you figured that you had hit the nail on the head when you assumed something was bugging him. Turning off your phone, you looked up at him with the most reassuring look that you could.

He had spent so much time thinking about this, only to have never thought about how he would bring it up. Mentally punching himself in the face for how worried he was, he took a deep breath, deciding that being blunt was probably the best option if he didn't want an awkward silence.

"Is there anything going on? I've been worried for you ever since I noticed how you… rarely talk about yourself," his words were shaky, but got the message across. You could feel your blood practically go cold- it made sense that he would notice, yet you weren't prepared for when he actually did.

"... Uhhh…" your choices were to lie about it as you had been for a while, but being dismissive about it could hurt him, and that was the last thing you wanted. But that meant your other option was to open up to him, which scared you.

You couldn't let the silence between you last long- deciding to default to what you had been doing this entire time, since it'd be easier, you force a giggle and scratch the side of your head. "I don't think I know what you're talking about!"

Your words held so little conviction that you might as well have told him flat out that you didn't want to be honest with him.

And he knew. A frown quickly grew on his face as he reached a hand to stroke your back- his strokes were slow and comforting, and you felt yourself slowly beginning to crack.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to lie to me. No- please don't. If I didn't want to help you and support you as best as I could, I wouldn't have asked." You couldn't muster a response; whatever you were going to say caught in your throat. Those words were enough to make your vision grow cloudy with tears, tears you'd been holding back for god knows how long now.

Noticing this, he wanted to be sure he told you everything he'd been thinking to you. "I understand how hard it can be to open up. But if you need me to tell you how incredible you are, or how you make my chest flutter with warmth every time I see you, or how lucky I feel every single time that I'm able to hold you like this, I can. I just need to know that you need me to."

That was about the last straw for you. You failed to stifle a sob as you gripped onto his uniform for dear life, burying your face into his chest as you let yourself finally break. Your quick reaction caught him off guard at first for sure, eyes widening and arms instinctively flying up above you. But he quickly melted into it, wrapping his arms around you and holding you closer to him, resting his chin on top of your head.

The first step was done; he promised himself that he would continue to be there for you like this, and make sure to help you heal from whatever had hurt you in the past.

Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi wasn't exactly known for his honesty, but when the two of you got together, that very slowly but surely began to change.

It wasn't a fast process at all. Opening up was a big fear of his. It started with tiny, tiny things, and he gradually worked his way up- and you were by his side the entire time, happy to help him out.

And it was going wonderfully! Seeing him slowly grow more and more comfortable made you feel so glad.

Only, you were burdened with the fact that you could probably never, ever do the same.

And that was fine with you. The last thing that you wanted was to be a burden to someone else, or stress him out with problems that weren't his own. You could deal with them yourself just fine.

And thanks to Kokichi's tendency to make things about himself, you were comfortable knowing that he likely wouldn't notice.

But, you couldn't be farther from the truth.

Kokichi was a very bubbly and mischievous person, which meant that heavier topics of discussion like these were unbelievably difficult for him.

But he'd lie awake nightly, staring blankly at his ceiling, wondering if there was something that he was doing wrong, or if there were things you weren't telling him.

Your conversations tended to naturally drift towards him, and he was painfully aware of it. For months on end you had never said a word about yourself, and the thought that he may not have known you as well as he initially thought terrified him.

The idea of being vulnerable to somebody he knew little about was horrifying to him, and though he would never ever let that fear show, he had to do something about it.

Today was not a good day by any means. Bad things kept happening back, to back, to back, and you just knew this was one of those days where you could stub your toe and completely break.

Because of that, you were extra cautious not to talk to anybody, out of concern that you'd accidentally snap and scare them off.

Kokichi took notice of your quiet almost instantly, and his worries from the night before came back once again. He'd wanted to bring it up for a while now, and the worry he was feeling in that moment was the motivator he needed.

"Hey heeeey, S/O!" He wandered over to you with his usual greeting smile. You forced a smile in return and greeted him back as well, though your words were unintentionally very, very quiet.

Kokichi being Kokichi, he didn't know what other way to go about this other than being painfully blunt. "Huh? Not even a proper greeting back? W-Why is my beloved S/O-chan suddenly being s-so mean to me??" He made sure to make his voice waver and tears well up, knowing how you found it to be pretty funny once you learned to look past his fake tears.

Thankfully for him, you chuckled a little as you ruffled his hair. He was relieved that he was able to make you laugh, even if it was the tiniest bit. "Sorry, Kokichi. I just didn't have the best day today, so I'm gonna go chill in my room for a bit."

He knew exactly where this was going. It had happened a million times before- he noticed you were upset, tried to turn the conversation towards you, but you remained dismissive and left- and him not wanting to be pushy, he let it happen. But letting it happen never worked before.

Moving quickly, he slammed his hand against the wall in front of you, blocking your path. "Well, you're just gonna leave without telling me what happened? C'mooonnnn, I'll let you go once you tell me who to send my secret evil organization after!" Though his words had a playful tone of voice to them, his actions spoke for themselves. You'd gotten so used to him not pushing at this point that you weren't sure what to do.

"It wasn't anyone specifically," you giggled nervously, breaking eye contact to stare blankly at nothing. He narrowed his eyes, not letting up. "Well, what was it?"

He would usually crack a joke or say something smart right about now and you knew that. You knew what was going on as soon as he asked you what had happened, without a snarky remark to go along with it. You suddenly felt those pre-cry jitters in your face, and your goal became to keep yourself from crying no matter what.

"It's just me being a big baby," you insisted with a dismissive tone of voice. Knowing he wouldn't be satisfied with that, you added, "It's one of those things where bad things in a day just keep building and building. I'll forget about it after I take a nap, or something."

"Then a nap it is!" Without giving you an opportunity to protest, he dragged you over to the other room, garnering an abrupt yelp of surprise from you.

"K-Kokichi, it's fine, really-"

"Nope! Sorry, but the timing is just too good. You need a nap, and I happen to need cuddles, so ooobviously we have to go cuddle now!" He snickered, right before practically tackling you onto the couch. You let out a playful cry in protest, though he gave you no room to say no, clinging onto you like a koala. At this point, you understood there was no telling him "no" once he'd gotten this far, so you let out a sigh of defeat and let yourself relax.

"So c'mon, tell me about your day," he insisted. You realized how uncharacteristic this felt of him- since when would he ask about things like this, especially if he knew you weren't happy about them?

"Umm… it sucked," you giggle, and he instantly pouted.

"You are the worst storyteller! Gimme all the juicy details!"

"I don't really want to… today was bad and I just kinda wanna forget about it." Normally, that would be his cue to stop, and it had been in the past. But he had gotten this far, there wasn't any going back now.

"You'll only feel better if you talk about it. If you don't, I'm gonna cling onto you like this forever!" He "threatened", if you could even call it that. You hardly minded, in all honesty, but maybe talking about the day couldn't hurt.

Yeaaa… you were wrong about that. Having to live through all the shitty things that had happened through today wasn't very fun. But he was listening more attentively than you'd ever seen him, and kept insisting that you continued.

Those same pre-cry jitters came back, and it became hard to focus. He took notice as your words began to melt together and you slowly lost your focus.

"...Y/N, are you okay?"

Those four words were the straw that broke the camel's back. Against your own will, you broke completely, burying your face in your hands and sobbing. It wasn't just the stupid events of the day anymore- finally being able to cry made you think of every single thing you'd been holding in, and only made it worse.

You felt horrible. You had just exploded like that right in front of Kokichi, when all he wanted was to know about your day. Just as quickly as you had started crying, you tried to stop, sniffing and wiping your eyes and nose as you apologized profusely.

"Stop apologizing," he insisted, expression serious now. "And stop trying not to cry. Don't bottle everything up until it breaks- just let it out now, okay?" His tone of voice was uncharacteristically soft, but somehow stern at the same time. You felt his hand slowly stroke your hair and he held you close to him with his other arm. That was enough to make you continue to sob, refusing to show your face and burying it into the cushions of the couch. He was fine with that- he held you close to him all the while, not making a sound as you finally let it out.

Once you began to calm down, he stared you straight in the eyes. His usual playful demeanor was gone, dead set on making you talk to him.

And at this point, you believed you were finally brave enough to comply.

Rantaro Amami

Rantaro was, very very very unsurprisingly, a very big-brother type to you. And you had about expected such, with him having an insane amount of little sisters and all.

But that was just the thing- he had so many sisters, so many other people to take care of and pay attention to. You would never understand how he did it, but the last thing you’d wanna do is add to that already massive pile of responsibilities for him.

And it wasn’t anything bad- it’s not like you had horrible things happening to you every single day! It wasn’t any issue at all.

At least, it wasn’t at first.

Over the course of time, things slowly started to build up. You knew it would- it’s what naturally happens if you don’t share, after all.

But you didn’t have to share. In the big picture, it genuinely wasn’t a big deal, was it? You’d forget about it eventually, so it was fine.

Though you noticed Rantaro’s several attempts to get you to talk, you were stubborn, and dismissed it each time. Rantaro was anything but pushy, and you got away with it often.

It was perfectly okay though- he had enough people to worry about, and stressing him out was the last thing you wanted to do, so you were glad that he didn’t question anything about it at first.

But it was just in his nature to be worried about you. And he was smart- it didn’t take him long at all to catch on to what you were doing.

He understood what to do in these kinds of situations. He’d learned a lot from his sisters and he had every intention of using what he learned to help you out, too.

The two of you spent time together frequently. You’d go out often, whether it be small road trips, exploring around the city, or seeing the beauty of the countryside. It fit his ultimate, and though it wasn’t yours, that didn’t mean you didn’t enjoy your small adventures together.

Today wasn’t one of those days though- your plans had been ruined by an incredible thunderstorm that forced both of you to stay in. Which was fine- he was always down to cuddle on the couch with you, no problem.

That was exactly what the two of you were doing today. You were curled up against his side, playing games on a handheld console together with him to pass the time and have some fun.

But you felt so out of it for whatever reason. Maybe it was just because of the weather, stress with responsibilities as of late, or just a random mood drop out of nowhere. But no matter what it was, it frustrated you. It made it infinitely more difficult to properly relax with Rantaro, which you felt guilty about.

It didn’t take him long to notice either, which didn’t exactly surprise you, despite praying that he wouldn’t.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” He tilted his head slightly to get a better look at you- you just hoped to god he didn’t notice you trying to avert eye contact. If he had asked the same question any other day, it would’ve been fine, but for some reason it felt much harder to respond to right then.

You wouldn’t let that get in the way of anything, though. “Yeah, I’m just a little tired is all,” you murmured, staring into your console’s screen but not paying any attention to what was actually on it. All your attention was suddenly focused on making sure he didn’t catch on to anything.

You didn’t know that you had already long failed that. You hadn’t been as subtle as you had thought when it came to trying to hide things. When you heard the sound of him turning off his console, your breath caught in your throat.

“You know that you don’t have to lie to me, right…?” You felt him softly place his hand on your head, stroking it reassuringly. “Maybe you’re just a little tired now, but- am I right in assuming that there’s been a lot going on as of late that you’ve been struggling with?”

It felt like you’d been hit by a truck when he said that, tensing up and balling your hands into fists. You’d been able to rest easy thinking that you’d done well in making sure that he didn’t worry about you, but it didn’t seem like that was the case at all.

What was worse was that, now you realized he’d known, and probably worried about you all this time. Guilt was quick to flood in once you realized that.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you worry. I promise it’s not anything, though! I think I’ve just been genuinely really tired as of late, nothing else.” You hated having to lie to him like that. It was out of instinct, and now you felt regret on top of guilt.

Judging by his reaction though, he didn’t buy it. “C’mon, you can talk to me,” he reassured you, still stroking your head with a thumb. “You know that I’m here to listen, and I always will be.”

He said his words so calmly and gently, and yet they had enough power to make you slowly start to tear up. Staying sane was only possible by ignoring everything that was happening, but now that he was asking you to your face to talk to him, that became impossible. And the instant it was impossible was the same instant you broke.

At first a few tears fell from your eyes, which slowly turned into a light sniff, then a hiccup- and before you knew it, you were letting out every single emotion you’d held up the past few weeks, clinging onto him for what felt like dear life as you sobbed.

He was completely okay with it, resting his head on top of yours and softly stroking your back. Though it wasn’t easy to hear over the sound of your own cries, he’d continue to whisper assuring words to you, encouraging you to let it out, that he was there for you, and that he was proud of you for finally letting yourself cry.

You cried until your body had to focus more on properly breathing than crying, the sound of your sobs replaced by furious sniffing and inhaling. He continued to reassure you all the while, planting soft kisses to the top of your head and holding you close to him.

Once you were able to properly breathe again, though your breaths were still shaky, he asked you to please talk to him. Part of you still protested, not wanting to burden him any more. But you’d needed someone to talk to for so long. You took some drinks of water to rehydrate yourself before sitting down with him.

It was scary, but it was the first step into the right direction to heal.

[crimsonrae]

Disintegration

Chapter Two

Summary: He witnessed the worst night of her life, he just never expected for her to become the love of his life.

KlausxCami

Warnings: Mentions of Domestic Abuse.

Rating: Mature

Chapter Two

2009

Amber liquid sat almost tauntingly within its iced tumbler as Camille stared aimlessly at the wall. Low chattering echoed dimly in her ears, but she registered little of the subdued crowd. She felt angry... no, she felt numb. Like a spindly serpent lying in wait for its prey, her anger lurked beneath the surface – its coil hardly tolerable.

Her fingers clenched around her glass, silently reveling in the wet dew that had coalesced on its exterior. It anchored her to the present even as she drifted in her scattered thoughts. Small bursts of Saturday played in her head, stuck like a broken reel. It was both a blur and all too clear. She could still feel the slick feel of Scott's blood on her hands, even as quips of conversation broke her reverie. Hours spent in the county jail had been nothing compared to the cold words from her mother and the stony silence that had followed her back to her dorm.

It had all become too much. She needed to get out.

It had occurred to her there was a certain amount of irony that she had taken refuge inside a bar. Not the one that she had beaten Scott to a pulp in – she was firmly banned from that establishment, but one across town. Away from campus and anyone who knew her. Camille tried not to pay too much mind to the fact that she was employing less than stellar coping mechanisms over the mess she had made of her life, but really, she was already on a roll of bad decisions. Why stop now?

Still...it was amazing how quickly everything had spiraled out of control.

One minute she had been a junior, set to finish her bachelor's degree with honors in the next year – now, with a court date set for next week and a meeting with the Dean's office tomorrow, it looked as if expulsion was on the horizon. And somehow that was at the bottom of her priority list. Felony assault and battery charges hovered over her head like an impending noose, not to mention, two parents infuriated with their daughter and the shame she had brought her family. She hardly cared that Scott was breathing from a tube in a hospital, she did care that Marnie hadn't called her.

Had she lost a friend as well as her academic career? She hadn't foreseen that... though, in truth, she hadn't put much thought into her actions. She had simply reacted and that – that wasn't like her.

"Penny for your thoughts, love."

Camille nearly jolted at the honey grizzled voice that chimed next to her table. She glanced up into a pair of oddly familiar cerulean eyes that shined curiously at her. It took her a moment to place him, and it was only as his lips curled into a self-satisfied smirk that she remembered.

He had been there.

Entertained by the entire debacle.

Now, that's what I call a show.

Her hidden ire rumbled in the face of her spectator. How she had hated his delight. It annoyed her that he had found her now when she wanted nothing more than to be left alone.

Pursing her lips distastefully, she arched a brow, "They're not for sale."

Her irritation was not lost on Klaus, if anything her dismissal amused him, "Come now, that's not true. Anything is for sale; it all depends on the price."'

"Well unless you have a time machine, I don't think you'll be able to afford my thoughts." Camille muttered wearily as she sipped from her glass. She pointedly turned her gaze away, making it silently clear she was done with him.

Yet, Klaus had never been one to let a challenge go untested. He found himself slipping into the chair across from her, much to Camille's exasperation, "Now why would you want a time machine? Please tell me, it's not to go back and stop yourself from beating that pillock from the other night half to death. Such passion should never be undone or regretted."

Camille arched a brow, nonplused by his words, "Not everyone views such acts of violence with the same enjoyment as you did... I don't believe that I invited you to sit. I'm not particularly in the mood for company."

"Yes, you've been quite rude." Klaus intoned almost cheerfully as he signaled for a waiter – now he was making it silently clear that he had no intention to leave, "That's alright, I don't mind a bit of surliness. I've been known to be a rather temperamental creature myself... but let's be honest here, love, while I may have enjoyed your spirited attack, you enjoyed committing it more."

She hated the truth that rang in his words. Stifling a sigh, Cami tossed back the rest of her drink and dropped a few bills on the table. She came here to get away, not to be harassed.

She wasn't granted the chance to stand as his fingers entrapped her wrist, "Let me go."

"Stay." Klaus implored, loosening his grip, but not removing his touch, "I won't speak of your little... incident if you do not wish it. I have several hours to kill, and you are by the far the most interesting person I've run into today. Please, keep me company."

Despite her desire to depart, her curiosity glimmered faintly at his words, "Is that why you seemingly tracked me down? Boredom?"

"Hardly tracked you down, love." Klaus said after placing an order for two more drinks with the waiter. "You're in the pub of my hotel. Merely, came downstairs and saw you."

Camille blinked before she sat back and viewed the bar through new eyes. There was an entranceway toward the back that she now realized led into a lobby. Marble floors and polished banisters gleamed through the glass door. It fairly screamed expensive. It also explained the quietness of a bar... the stillness that had drawn her inside.

Klaus watched her perusal with muted amusement, "You have no idea where you are. Not that you're in a bad neighborhood, mind you, but it is foolish to not have your bearings about you."

Camille silently stifled her unease as again his words rang true. A sense of danger lurked with his presence that she was only beginning to acknowledge, but something kept her survival instincts from fully sounding off.

"I wasn't really..." She trailed off as she realized her words would only reinforce his point about being foolish.

He knew it too.

His head tilted to the side and his eyes softened with an understanding that she swore he shouldn't have. It was similar to the way he had looked at her as she had been carted off by the police... Cami didn't understand why it had seemed to soothe and irritate her then, and she still didn't understand it now.

"Running away, were you?" Klaus intoned sagely, "I know a fair bit about that, but you don't strike me as the type to run from a situation. What demons plague you, aside from the obvious?"

Cami snorted and wondered if this counted as talking about her incident, but found herself replying, "Demons is a bit harsh... and why would I tell you, Nosey Stranger, anything about my demons?"

Klaus grinned and was stalled from answering as their drinks arrived, "Well conversation is easier when at least one party opens up, no? And you can call me Klaus. Niklaus Mikaelson."

"Cami." She returned softly, "Why don't we focus on you, instead? What brings you to my little corner of the word, Klaus?"

"I am not nearly that interesting."

"I somehow doubt that."

"Doubt all you like, but I could say the same of you."

"Could you?" Cami said almost teasingly as a smirk tugged at her lips.

Klaus huffed a low laugh as he conceded, "Well, I could if you told me about yourself."

They were flirting, Cami noted distantly as they exchanged not-quite-shy smiles again. Her head spun – how had this happened? She had been thoroughly annoyed with this man not even ten seconds ago. And while some of that sentiment still lurked, she now could only think about how handsome he looked when he smiled... actually smiled, not smirked.

One thing was for certain, she wasn't feeling quite so numb anymore... and she wasn't sure that was necessarily a good thing. Despite how handsome the man before her was or how charming he was turning out to be, she had the distinct impression that she was a match strike away from playing with fire.

"How about a question for a question?" She proposed almost absently and nearly cursed as soon as the words left her tongue.

Klaus considered her offer with shrewd eyes, "Any question?"

A reluctant sigh left Cami, "Let me guess, you have a question about Saturday night?"

"A few." Klaus acknowledged with a sly quirk to his lips, "But mainly one pressing one."

She shook her head and dragged the untouched drink he had bought her to her side. If they were going to play this game she would need the alcohol, "Fine. Ask."

"What did he do?" Klaus asked quietly as she hesitated, her glance almost suspicious – he explained, "In two minutes of conversation, I've ascertained that you are not a rash person. A bit foolhardy perhaps, but you've been moderately cautious since I've engaged your interest. You also don't strike me as the type to attack someone without reason. So, what was your reason? What did he do?"

There was a long silence as Camille gauged what she wanted to impart. Several glib answers rested on her tongue, non-answers that would dismiss his question and move their conversation on, but the truth burned in her throat. It would be nice to tell someone who didn't know her, who didn't know Scott or Marnie, who wasn't there to judge her actions as just or fair what her motivation had been...

"I have a roommate. We've roomed together the last three years – and she's great. Sweet, shy. I couldn't have picked a better roommate... or friend." Camille started quietly. She ignored the lick of angry flames that sparked in her belly, "She met him a few months ago and they hit it off immediately. I liked him. He was funny and he brought her out of her shell."

A wave of nausea swarmed her simmering fury and she paused as she remembered the carefree way Scott would greet her. The little presents that he would bring for Marnie. Those gifts seemed so more insidious now that she realized those parcels showed up after every incident.

Klaus waited patiently, somehow knowing not to speak as she sought the proper words. Her jade eyes had deepened to a sparking emerald, imbued with dark emotion.

"Then one day she came back to our room. Her shirt was covered in blood, a plaster taped over her nose, and two black eyes. He had hit her. Only once she said. It was an accident she said, but he broke her nose." Camille swallowed and resisted the urge to ball her fist, "She refused to go to the RA or the Dean or any other official and just waved me off. It wouldn't happen again, and I knew that was bullshit. I knew..."

The shiver of rage in her tone struck a chord within Klaus as he watched her. Any hint of his earlier joviality and curiosity had vanished in the face of her anguish. His own anger growled in answer to hers – he had never been one to shy away from violence, but brutish nonsensical abuse had always been and always would be a sore point for him.

"How many times?" The question slipped out before he could stop it.

If Camille had been paying closer attention, she would have noticed the almost eerie calm that had leveled his voice. Instead, she shook her head, "Too many."

Another sip from her glass, "He sent her to the hospital Friday night. Two broken ribs and a concussion. I had been with her all night, and I just couldn't go back to our dorm, so I wandered. I wandered and before I knew it, I was inside the campus bar and there he was... Scamming on a freshman. Both of them laughing at some stupid funny joke he had said, as if it were just another Saturday. As if he hadn't just pulverized his girlfriend and left her to rot in a hospital as if he hadn't been getting away with much of the same for months. I was so incredibly angry and all I wanted was to make him stop."

Warm skin brushed across hers and she glanced down to see he had cradled her hand. She was trembling. It was so faint, but the box that she had been stowing all her wildly out of control emotion into had been pried open with his question.

His fingers curled into her palm like an anchor into the seabed and she smiled bitterly, "Still think you received a good show?"

It took Klaus a second to remember his words from that night, but he didn't scowl.

No.

His smile was tinged with undue pride and awe, "I think you just made it even better. I had initially thought you to be some hellcat. Sent into a jealous rage at capturing your boyfriend cheating. The truth is far more satisfying. You're a protector. If anything, I stand by my earlier sentiment. Do not regret your actions, Camille."

She blinked at hearing her full name cross his lips, most assumed her name was Cameron when she introduced herself as Cami, "My name, how...?"

Klaus smirked, "Camille O'Connell, you are under arrest."

His voice was flat with an American intonation, but what part of America she was unsure as his little gimmick threw her from her despair into a baffled disquiet.

Slowly she cringed, "Okay, one – don't ever do that accent again. Just... no. Two – no one calls me, Camille, unless I'm in trouble. It's a grandma's name."

Klaus bit back a laugh as he pressed with his fake accent again, "What? You mean this voice? I think it's uh, rather convincing."

Camille shivered; it was almost like nails on a chalkboard when he spoke like that, but the tension her little story had engendered dissipated, and she felt a coil within her loosen.

She couldn't stop her snicker as she begged, "Stop, please. It's just not right. It doesn't fit you at all. Smarmy Brit is much more your style."

"Smarmy Brit?" Klause threw back almost indignantly, "You wound me, Camille."

"Somehow I think that's hard to do." She countered sagely, but she couldn't keep a grin from her mien. She appreciated his levity.

Klaus arched a brow, "You'd be surprised. Sometimes it doesn't take much at all to wound me."

"Oh?"

"A beautiful woman maligning my character five minutes after meeting me. Stings a bit, love." He answered indulgently, but there was a mischievous glint in his gaze that belied his words.

Cami giggled quietly, "You don't think you're smarmy?"

"I prefer the word charming." The faux innocent look he flashed her had them both grinning, "And I believe it is your turn to ask a question."

There were several that had erupted in her thoughts as they had spoken, but it was hard to choose just one. Part of Cami was grateful that he had lobbed such a hardball as a first question because it gave her clearance to do the same.

"What are you running away from? You said you had some experience with it earlier." Cami finally asked, figuring it would also answer the question of what he was doing here. Two answers for the price of one.

Like with Cami, Klaus sat in a long silence as he thought over his answer. Now he was the one who wished he had placed restrictions on these questions, but unlike Camille, he had no compunctions about lying. After all, they were still strangers, and he was still debating whether to continue their acquaintanceship after they parted ways. He had half a mind to seduce her, drink her, and dump her... but the more time he spent with her the less he wanted to dump her – at least right away. Camille was proving to be very intriguing indeed.

"Family. I'm running from family." Klaus announced, surprising even himself with the truth, "More specifically my father... though my brother is currently a close second."

Camille frowned, not liking the shine of pain in his eyes before he shifted to something more blank, more superficial. Perhaps her question wasn't the gem she had originally thought it to be.

At her muted concern, Klaus smiled bitterly, "My father has no love for me. Even less after it was discovered I was a product of my mother's infidelity. He's been bent on making my life a misery for as long as I can remember. The more distance I can put between him and myself the better."

"And your brother?" Cami pressed almost reluctantly, at once curious and hesitant about requesting such personal information.

"Has a great love for me actually and I, him. But I've... upset him and he needs some time to calm down." It was the most tactful way that Klaus could think to say Elijah was furious with him for daggering their siblings and supposedly dumping their bodies into the ocean. While the first part was true, the second was not... and he was not prepared for his older brother to discover that fact just yet.

An odd mildly entertained expression crossed Camille's face as she puzzled over his words. More questions surged to the forefront, but with great control, she managed to restrain herself... at least for the moment.

Klaus seemed to sense her desire as he cocked his head to the side and grinned, or she was simply terrible at hiding her thoughts, "You want more details."

Almost embarrassingly, she sipped from her glass as she fought a sheepish smile, "I really do."

"And you called me nosey? Sorry, love, you're just going to have to wait." He taunted lightly as she scowled at him.

He was saved from her retort as her phone chose that moment to sound off. Her previous merriment dulled in the face of the device's alarm and fell further as she glanced at the screen. Klaus watched as she reluctantly clicked the phone silent after responding with a text and turned remorseful eyes to him. This would be their parting it seemed.

"Such a dour glance. My last question then, who's beckoning you?" Klaus asked gently, an unexpected jolt of jealousy scoured his veins at her answer.

"My boyfriend." She quirked her lips self-consciously. She had no obligation to inform him of her relationship status and their conversation while personal, had always meant to stay a conversation... at least on her end. Yet, she felt a strange sense of guilt – she felt like she had led him on, "I should be going. It was nice to meet you, Klaus... and thank you for the drink."

Klaus tightened his grip over her hand, both had forgotten he had still been holding it, but now it worked in his favor. He wasn't ready for their conversation to end, "Stay, Camille. By the look on your face, it's what you would rather be doing."

Timidly, she squeezed his hand back, but her rueful smile told him that he was fighting a losing battle. He was tempted to compel her... but somehow that felt like the wrong move for this particular moment.

"He's worried about me. Everyone's worried about me. Or angry. This was a nice reprieve. One I really needed, but I have to go before that worry goes to def-con four." She said almost deprecatingly and moved to stand.

Cami was surprised when he stood with her until she felt him slip her phone from her other hand. A word of protest played on her lips at the theft, but she stayed her tongue as she watched him deftly enter his phone number. It was slightly embarrassing that he had caught her passcode pattern so easily. He must have the eyes of a hawk. He hit the call button and his phone vibrated in his pocket for a moment before going silent again.

Klaus returned her phone with a genial smile, "There. Should you need another reprieve, simply call. I'll be in town for a while and more than happy to indulge you."

"That was bold." She murmured, "Giving your number to a girl who just told you, she has a boyfriend."

He shrugged indifferently, "Fortune favors the bold, does it not?"

Cami snorted and shook her head, "Goodbye, Klaus."

"Goodbye, Camille." Klaus murmured, brushing his lips to her cheek.

The act startled her and brought a lovely blush to her smooth skin. He had no intention of this being their last encounter. Camille O'Connell would see him again. His cerulean eyes danced deviously as he watched her turn to go.

She glanced at him over her shoulder, and he was surprised to see a puckish light in her sylvan gaze, "Definitely smarmy."

Klaus choked on an unexpected laugh before he found himself calling through the pub, "Charming, love."

______________________

Hours later, Klaus remained at the little corner table in the pub. He had steadily nursed several drinks as he kept an eye out for a potential dinner – finding himself feeling pickier than usual about his fare. He was tempted to send Camille a text. She had been reluctant enough to leave that enticing her to return shouldn't have been much of a battle. He regretted not pressing his advantage earlier. They could have spent the afternoon in his bed, sated in every possible way.

Sighing in boredom, he ran an idle finger around the rim of his tumbler generating a low hum. His thoughtless gesture brought a few curious and annoyed looks from the nearby patrons, but no one had the gall to say anything. Something dark and angry lingered in Klaus's stiff presence that discouraged social interaction of any kind.

"Well, you look positively morose."

And yet not all were so cowardly.

Klaus smirked at the amused lilt that sounded behind him. He arched a brow as he awarded the young woman behind him a small smile, "Greta... you've arrived sooner than I expected. Fruitful day, love?"

"Yes and no." Greta answered loftily as she came to stand next to the table, "The witch we're looking for is proving rather difficult to scrounge up, though her boyfriend has been the source of a lot of gossip but..."

"But?" Klaus intoned softly, a dangerous edge tinging his voice. His mood for games had dissipated with the sun.

"He's in the hospital. Unconscious, someone caved his head in apparently. He would need some of your blood to be revived enough to get any information from him." She smirked, knowing how much Klaus loved to do such things, "That is if you're feeling generous."

Niklaus frowned; it would be too convenient... "What's the boyfriend's name?"

"Scott Nebroski." Greta answered simply with a raised brow.

The name had no meaning to Klaus. Camille hadn't mentioned any names when she had recounted her motives to him – and he didn't recall a name being spoken when the paramedics had arrived at the campus pub. Though to be fair, he had lost interest in the whole affair once Camille had been taken to the squad car.

Her fiery emeralds would forever be etched into his memory. There had been a moment where he had thought that she'd break from the officer's grasp and swing at him before something fragile... vulnerable had crossed her gaze and he had to fight the urge to go to her.

It had been an odd night.

"When was he attacked?"

Greta shrugged, "A couple of nights ago, I think. Some chick took a beer bottle to him. A lover's quarrel is the rumor. In which case, it should make him more willing to cooperate with us. He'd probably be looking for a little revenge."

A slow grin spread across Klaus's face – what were the odds?

"It wasn't our little witch who tore into him, love." Klaus murmured, "How long would we need to wait before you could conduct the ceremony?"

"The estival solstice isn't for almost eight weeks, that's when the spell will be at its strongest. We have some time." Greta replied softly as she watched the wheels spin in her master's head. She hadn't expected him to take the news of this current delay so well... but the calm, almost pleased smile playing at his lips spoke to plans with which she had no knowledge of, "The boyfriend?"

"He can enjoy his stay in the hospital for a while." Klaus said after a long moment. He refused to heal the cretin that had rightfully earned his beating at Camille's hands. He would not deny her victory, "Tomorrow I want you and Maddox to find out everything you can about Camille O'Connell. She's Marnie Taylor's roommate and friend... she'll lead us to our little witch."

Gently, Klaus reached out for Greta's hand, bringing her delicate fingers to his mouth as he pressed a kiss to her smooth flesh. He was feeling a tad grateful for the news she had delivered him, and she smelled sweet, like honeysuckle and ivy. His fangs edged at the inner muscle of his cheek, reinforcing his hunger... but he wouldn't bite her here.

Klaus stood and placed a few bills on the table, "Keep me company tonight."

It sounded like a request, but Greta heard the implied order to his tone. She could say no, and Klaus wouldn't bat an eye. She was under no illusion that she was more than a tool in his arsenal. Problem was, she had never been able to say no to him. Not to his power, not to his hunger, and not to his bed. She fully enjoyed being possessed by him. It was the shame that she could not possess him.

She peered slyly at him, "Merely company?"

An indulgent hum purred from Klaus's throat before he pressed his lips teasingly to the corner of her mouth, "You could never be merely anything, love... but I desire this luscious mouth of yours to be otherwise occupied."

Greta's smile turned sinful, "As you wish."

He breathed a kiss to her neck before turning to escort her upstairs. His soul ached for a taste of the hunt... something that Greta could not provide him – she was all too willing to fall into his clutches. She was decadence, chocolate, and champagne. Simply divine.

For tonight she would sate his baser urges, but tomorrow...

Tomorrow he would go after that which was not yet his. Fiery emeralds glinted in his mind's eye. Tomorrow, he would go after whiskey and smoke. Hidden passion.

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[snarwor]

moon and old stars - chapter 9

holy shit it’s been awhile huh. no warnings for this one <3

Masterlist | Read on AO3

-------------------------------------

Din thought about frost a bit too much.

It made almost no sense. Navarro was a lava planet, sulfuric and burning in dangerous pools less than a klick outside of city limits. His missions took him through the hottest damn planets. One of his only memories of his childhood was whining at the cold, and feeling the heavy weight of his father’s jacket settling around his shoulders. Heat and warmth and weight, that was love.

Of course, the exception to this was the blurrg which had fallen on him on Arvala-7, which was hot and heavy and smelly.

But Grogu, the kid. He weighed barely anything and was no warmer than perhaps a Loth-cat, and yet the weight which had settled over Din the moment he’d shot IG-11, the warmth which had filled his bones when that little hand had reached out for him, it was unlike anything he’d experienced before.

Crash landing on the ice planet with Mrs. Frog and the kid had been an exercise in fear, in hopelessness, in compartmentalization. The Crest was damaged beyond reasonable repair, there was a very odd biological imperative happening, there were karking ice spiders, yet the thing that filled Din with the most dread had been the cold. It seeped in and leached the warmth and hope from his bones, staining his beskar with ice, splintering like cracks in stone. False fissures.

When they'd managed to get to the atmosphere again, he joked about all of them dying in the harsh vacuum of space, and it didn’t even register until they’d hit the balmy surface of Trask. He’d made light of an icy, deadly situation, which was, at its core, supposed to be heavy and blood-hot. He’d been horrified when he realized.

He remembered listening to Omera speak on Sorgan about the history of the valley they lived in, how everything had been ice thousands and thousands of years ago, a massive glacier which melted and froze and melted and froze until an entire mountain had split in two. Din couldn’t believe it, but when he’d gotten back on the holonet, he looked up the phenomenon, and marveled at how cold destruction could bring such an idyllic sanctuary.

He began to see signs of it all over his travels. Ancient canyons with split boulders, once-whole halves laying cleaved by no tool made by man or machine. Din told the kid his findings. “Frost did this. Water gets in everywhere, it settles deep and when the cold hits, that water expands, and breaks things if it’s lucky enough.” Of course, the kid only paid attention when he had dried meat rations in his hand, but he liked to think he was paying attention at least some of the time.

His sanity had sprung a leak on Morak. Boba Fett had taken an ax to that leak and filled every splintered part of him with water until he felt like he was near drowning. His first gasp of air was on the armchair at the safe house, when they had been the only people in the entire galaxy. The shame was his heart’s first winter after the flood. The setup on the Lothal moon was an early spring snowstorm. The safe house had been a mild summer. The water had not left him. But when they boarded the ship, when they fought the Dark troopers, when…

Don’t be afraid.

That had been such a shock to his system that all that latent love and affection in him, feelings left dormant and misunderstood in the abscesses of his heart, froze. It was so cataclysmic he couldn’t even hear himself think over the groaning heave of his every canyon and valley. He was broken. He could not be put back together at all. And when Boba had said those five words, the frost started to melt, sure, but the cracks and chasms remained, evidence of a too-cold climate for anything like love to grow in.

Unless.

The melting sensation Boba had given him, the weight and warmth Din had always associated with love, perhaps it had been as natural as a cleaved boulder, but thaw had been intentional as well. It wasn’t Boba’s fault for the freeze in his heart. It wasn’t Boba’s fault he had existing cracks in his foundation. But he’d cleaned up the aftermath, several times over, taken his broken pieces and patched them together, said “I know you’re not whole, but I love you just the same” with every soft pass of a hand over his hair. With every pleasured moan he drew from Din’s lips. With every suspended second their gazes held, and every gentle press of a kiss, Din realized that the crags in his heart had smoothed over in places, didn’t hurt him as much as they had before. It wasn’t Boba’s fault for this new fissure, and here Din was, cutting the man on his own broken edges.

“Why didn’t you let her just kill me when she had the chance?!”

And still.

“Din—”

And still.

“No. Tell me why.”

And still.

“Because I love you, Din.”

The words sat in the air between them like a physical thing, an old moon in orbit, waiting to see if the shooting star would strike it down or warm it back. The last words his mother had said to him, before she was gone forever. He’d always understood that love wasn’t something to be volleyed back and forth, love wasn’t supposed to be expected or returned, not the true love his mother had given, and not the shy, defeated love Boba was giving him now.

And still.

“I love you, too.”

Boba let out a shuddering breath, half a laugh, and a single tear. “Then you understand why I couldn’t let you go.”

Love could look selfish, but it never felt selfish. At least not to Din. He let go of the bottle, and hung his head in his hands instead. The familiar shame of crying in front of Boba washed over him, and as his shoulders shook, he mourned that freeze a little, because he could at least pretend he was solid when it was there. Not now, though. Not now.

With hesitation, Boba’s arm wrapped around the slumped line of his shoulders. Without hesitation, Din leaned into it. “He’s gone,” Din rasped.

Boba made a noise he probably hadn’t meant to before the other arm came up to pull Din into his lap, curl him up small and safe. With the beskar, he was much heavier, and less kind on his aching body, but Boba bore his weight without complaint. “Not gone, just somewhere else,” Boba said, stroking a hand over Din’s head in a well-practiced motion they’d perfected since Morak. “I’ll...” The promise sat on the tip of his tongue. “If you really want him back, I can help you find him.”

Din shook his head, cried out and drained. “You don’t have to,” he said softly. “Your debt to me is paid, you don’t—”

“I don’t offer this to you out of a sense of obligation. I don’t offer any of myself to you for that. Maybe once, but certainly not now, jat’ika.”

The name hurt Din like a punch to the gut. The objection sat behind his lips like a fathier at the starting gate. He lifted his head so their eyes could meet again. Openness sat in Boba’s expression, and Din realized, all at once, that the two of them had really changed in those soft weeks between Tython and here. Without breaking eye contact, he brought his hand up to cup the back of Boba’s neck, and leaned in to press their foreheads together. A stuttering breath left Boba’s chest, a flash of that softness Din didn’t often see in him.

“I’m sorry,” Din said. “For what I said about your father.”

“You were upset,” Boba hedged. Din shook his head, only a little, as to not break the mirshmure’cya too fast.

“It doesn’t excuse it. I won’t say anything like that again. Forgive me, please.”

“I understand,” Boba said, bringing his own hand up to touch the apple of Din’s cheek. “It’s forgiven. Don’t catastrophize a mistake, Din.”

Din couldn’t help but laugh, a little. “Catastrophize.”

“Exactly,” Boba said, returning the smile. “Do you need to talk some more? Are you injured from the mission?”

This time, Din hedged, “Cuts and bruises, rattled my brain fighting a darktrooper, nothing huge.” Boba leveled him with an unimpressed look. “If it bothered me, I would have taken care of it.”

“Forgive me if I don’t quite believe you can take care of yourself.”

“Hoverskiff daddying, are we?” Din asked, a smirk on his mouth that both endeared and infuriated Boba in equal doses. Boba leaned back to press a smacking kiss to Din’s forehead.

“Show you daddying. C’mon, up. We’ll talk while we get you patched up.”

As Boba removed the armor from Din’s body, the weight which pulled at Din’s conscience followed suit. He felt able to take a full breath of air again, letting Boba smear bacta on his cuts and bruises, like every breath got easier than the last. Boba made him laugh, made him smile and forget he was ever frozen, forget he was ever broken and jagged and rough-edged. And when Boba mentioned the kid, the memories came with an ache, but no sharp pain. He would have permission to grieve, later. He knew that much. But for now, they reveled in the feeling of being alive after another difficult day, a unique sensation to the two that felt more familiar than coming home ever had.

“Your helmet.” Boba finally reached that topic, which predictably pulled a sigh and a downcast expression from Din’s face.

“I broke the Creed on Morak. And again, on the cruiser.” He left out the moments with Boba specifically. You are not of a Creed you can disappoint while in here. The only truth is that you are mine.

“You were saying goodbye to your son. I know men who would raze whole planets to the ground for the chance. It’s an honorable thing, what you did. Not a dishonorable one.” Din can’t make himself believe it in its entirety, not really.

“But the armor—”

“You told me once I’d have to peel your armor off your dead body. Yet I had to, to patch your wounds, give you comfort.”

They looked at the pile in the corner, gleaming beskar and worn padding which had protected Din for years. Clearly, he wasn’t dead, and yet, the armor went. Boba continued.

“And that to hand mine over to me was against the Creed. Until the more honorable realization was proven, you were returning it to me.”

Ret’urcye mhi. How funny that goodbye sounds like return to me.

“Your helmet was in the way of protecting your foundling, until it was not. Ke’juri beskar’gam, but not at the expense of k’ara’novo aliit, nor ke’gaa’tayli aliit bralir, nor ke’ba’juri sa Mando’ade.” Din felt the tears fall, but did not look away. “You are no less Mandalorian for making the decisions you did. In fact, you are perhaps more suited to hold that saber because of it.” He took Din’s hands. “You have protected and cared for your family. One of your aliit is learning what you could not teach. Your son is Mandalorian because he is yours.”

“Then why do I feel so guilty?” Din asked, his chest jumping a little in a hiccup, eyes shining with yet-unshed tears. Boba brought his hands up to kiss at their knuckles.

“It’s not guilt. It’s grief. We carry it differently, but it does not make us. The same as our armor. It is something we wear, something sacred, but it is not the armor who protects a son.”

Din fell into his arms, pressing grateful kisses to Boba’s mouth, his face. Tears of relief, not shame, not guilt, fell across his cheeks and smeared onto Boba’s skin, but he didn’t mind. His soul was still redeemable, he was still an upright man, deserving of salvation and absolution, deserving of the love which patched him together.

He realized he was speaking. “I love, I love—”

“I know, I know,” Boba repeated, not in a volley, but letting Din know his love had somewhere safe and soft to land.

And that it always would.

---------------------------------

Mando'a - Translation

jat'ika - y'all should know this one by now mirshmure'cya - Keldabe kiss, soft headbutt for emotion, or apply forcefully for stronger emotion ret'urcye mhi - see you again, goodbye aliit - family, clan

Tenets of the Resol'nare (Mandalorian Creed) mentioned in m&os ke'juri beskar'gam - you will wear armor k'ara'novo aliit - you will protect family ke'gaa'tayli aliit bralir - you will help your clan succeed ke'ba'juri sa Mando'ade - you will raise Mandalorians

Other Tenets not mentioned because they don't make me cry as much ke'jorhaa'i Mando'a - you will speak Mando'a ke'shekemi haar Mand'alor - you will rally to the cause of the Mand'alor

[draggingthedregs]

Writing prompt: please please write about Kaz and Jesper where Kaz is actually treating Jesper like a friend and not an inconvenience? Something post-series, I guess? Like they could be talking about wylan or inej or anything! Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

a/n: okay, okay, i was super duper excited about writing this. when i saw it in my asks i immediately got excited for all the possibilities. i love jesper and kaz’s friendship so damn much and i always love their little moments in both the books and any other fanfics i’ve read. more people need to give them the best friend content they deserve.

word count: 1577

~~~

Maybe it was the weather, but Kaz and Jesper found themselves alone together. 

Everyone in Ketterdam believed they would have a few more weeks before the harshest of winter set in, believed the ice from the north would refrain from reaching them quite yet, they had been wrong. Frigid wind whipped through the alleys and streets, the tops of the canals beginning to freeze over, trapping the stagnant boats against their mooring. 

Jesper stayed with Wylan most of the time, all-but moving in with him. However, his room at the Slat still remained, just in case he ever needed it in between jobs or after a long night at the Crow Club. Jesper had asked Kaz why he never gave it to someone else, tossed whatever was left  of his belongings into Fifth Harbor, and Kaz could never give him a straight answer. 

On this night, as the cold settled deep into the bones of anyone stupid enough to be out, Jesper found himself thankful that he didn’t need to walk all the way back to Wylan’s mansion. He bounded up the Slat’s rickety stairs, taking two at a time, to pay Kaz an unexpected visit, one of which he was sure to enjoy. 

Jesper rapped twice before announcing his presence through the wood. “Your favorite crow has returned to the nest.” 

He heard Kaz’s uneven gait through the door as he approached, opened the lock with a soft click, and swung the door wide for him to enter. “Favorite is a very strong assumption.” Kaz turned and started back to his desk, “Lock it behind you.”

“It’s alright. You don’t have to say it, I know it’s true. I can feel it in my heart.” 

Kaz let out a scoff, but the smile on his face was genuine. “I’m sure you can.”

Jesper pulled a chair from the corner of the room, setting it in front of his desk. “Well, actually, I think I might be tied with Inej nowadays.”

The smile on his lips faded, replaced with an ache that was so apparent, it was palpable. Inej had been gone for over eight months and, from what Jesper understood, mailing letters to and from a ship on the ocean was exceedingly difficult. Not to mention never knowing if the girl he sent letters to was even alive to receive them anymore. 

The joking edge left Jesper’s words, replaced with sincerity. “Have you heard from her?”

Kaz shook his head, staring at the paper on his desk. “Not since I responded to her last letter.” 

That had been over three weeks ago. 

Inej had written letting Kaz know that she would be home later then she originally thought, months later in fact. She explained that the slaver she had been following was part of a larger fleet, and the Wraith would be their undoing. 

Jesper looked again at the papers laying in front of him, now seeing what they were. Inej’s original letter was there, her delicate scrawl dancing across the page, the ink remaining untouched and unsmudged. Above it lay another piece of parchment, this one unfinished and in Kaz’s thick, scratchy handwriting. 

He had been writing her again, possibly for a second or third time for all that Jesper knew. There were ink stains along his hand and even on his temple, where he had clearly gotten lost in thought. 

“Kaz, I’m sure she’s alright. She’s the Wraith, no one can get a hold of her.”

Normally, and with anybody else, Kaz would’ve ignored them, would’ve waved them off and pushed his pain aside. “Things are different at sea… Even Inej could fall victim.”

“But she won’t. She’ll come home and crawl right back through your window and feed those stupid birds.” 

Kaz sighed, his thumb tracing across her words. The closer Jesper looked, the more pain and exhaustion he saw. Kaz didn’t sleep on a good day, let alone when he was focused on a job or a fat sum of kruge coming their way, but this was different. The entirety of his body seemed weighted now, his shoulders drooping, the circles under his eyes purple, instead of their usual grey. 

Jesper’s voice broke the silence. “I miss laughing with her. She always found my stupid jokes funny. Or at least she pretended to.” 

Kaz didn’t even look up from her letter as he answered. His voice so raw, it almost felt as though these words weren’t intended for Jesper at all. “I miss her voice. I keep hearing it in my head… I didn’t think I’d ever ask for another Suli proverb to tell me what an ass I was being but…” 

“She did have a lot of those, didn’t she?” Jes couldn’t help but smile, “And she’d pop out of the dark, waving her finger, telling us off like the ghost of an angry grandmother.” 

Jesper saw the beginnings of a smile pulling at Kaz’s lips and he continued, hoping that these stories of Inej might make her reappear in front of them, clucking her tongue at their memory of her. 

“She’d stand with her arms crossed, staring as you explained a plan, waiting to call you out on something. And she could always find something. Then she’d shake her head and disappear again.”

“My ever-opinionated shadow.” Kaz chuckled.

“That’s certainly one way to put it. She was never afraid to say what she thought or to be who she was. I guess it’s one of the things I’ve always admired about her.” Jesper took another moment, the joke faded from his voice but a fond smile remained. “She’s the best of us.”

Kaz glanced again at the letter and, to Jesper’s shock, laughed. “Inej would kill us if she heard us talking like this.”

“Like what?”

“Like she’s dead.”

Now it was Jesper’s turn to laugh. He hadn’t even thought of how remanicient their conversation was to a funeral and when he realized it, he couldn’t help but find it hilarious. The idea of Captain Inej Ghafa, the Wraith, dying was nearly unthinkable, though Jesper was unsettled by certain memories that didn’t render the thought impossible. 

Kaz tucked the letters into a neat stack, setting them to the side, then reached into his desk, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. Along with the bottle, he set two glasses in the table. He poured them both generously before sliding one over to Jesper’s side of the desk. 

“Are we getting drunk at our non-funeral now too?”

He took a sip, his lips curling as it burned along the back of his throat. “Let’s just see how this one drink goes.”

Jesper lifted the glass in a half-cheers, taking a drink himself. 

“So,” Kaz began, “Why are you here?” Though it may have come off as harsh, Jes knew what he meant. After so many years, it was easy to tell when Kaz really wanted you gone. 

“I was picking up something at the club and it was way too cold to walk all the way home.” 

“Then I take it all is well with our sunshiniest demolitions expert?”

A laugh escaped Jesper. “We’re fine. He hasn’t thrown me to the curb yet.”

“And he won’t.”

“I mean- I might throw me to the curb too. Or maybe into the harbor.” 

Kaz took a nonchalant sip. “I wouldn’t.”

The remark caught Jesper off guard. Sure, he knew that Kaz had taken a liking to him, perhaps even cared for him, but hearing it aloud seemed to strike harder than he’d expected. Instead of pushing the matter as he may have liked, he simply shrugged. “You’ve never had to share a bedroom with me.” 

Another smile creeped onto Kaz’s lips as he leaned back in his chair. “And perhaps that’s a good thing.”

Jesper finished his drink, setting the empty glass on the table. “I suppose I’ve annoyed you enough for one night, I should probably get to bed. I’ll need to be home early before Wylan starts to panic.”

“Of course not but we wouldn’t want that.” Kaz glanced to his letter, already longing for the near memorized words beneath his attempt. 

“You shouldn’t panic either, if you even can. Truth be told, I’m never sure what emotions you possess, though Helvar does have a few theories.”

A small grumble escaped Kaz’s throat as he rolled his eyes. “I’m sure he does.”

Jes laughed, “I just meant that she’ll write. Or she’ll pop back up in the middle of the night and scare you out of your gloves.” 

With a roll of his eyes, “A man can certainly dream.”

As he made his way to the door, Jesper found himself stopping short, a question rattling around in his brain that he couldn’t keep down any longer. “Why wouldn’t you? Why haven’t you?”

“What?”

“Thrown me out. Everything is still in my room and earlier you said you wouldn’t throw me out… Why?”

Kaz considered him for a moment. The silence hung between them like a thick blanket, needing to be wrung free of water, until he finally answered. “I suppose I like having you around, Jesper. I don’t think I’m really ready to see you go just yet.” A wide, genuine smile took over as he continued. “Even if you are a little too comfortable gambling away my money and shooting bullet holes in my walls.”

Jesper nodded, realizing he had a smile of his own to match. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

“Goodnight, Jes.”

fin.

[miraculous786]

Akumatized!Marinette: Idea

Masterlist

‘They tore apart her sketchbook.

They destroyed her life’s work.

They crushed her heart without an ounce of regret.

How can she not accept a deal for revenge?’

~*~*~

Ladybug sunk down onto her knees, as the tears that she had held back finally flowed, like a dam that had burst. She didn't care if anyone saw her on the Eiffel Tower, as long as they didn't disturb her.

She remembered their faces, their glares and taunting. She remembered walking into class, and seeing her precious sketchbook torn to pieces on the ground. Right beside her former best friend.

Before entering class, she was already not in the best of moods. Marinette had woken up late, due to an akuma attack late last night, and didn't have time to tie her hair into pigtails. Instead, she settled on a simple ponytail.

Then, right as she stepped foot into the class, she heard the shredding of paper. Of course, she didn't think much of it, until she witnessed Alya toss a familiar book onto the floor carelessly, with the class laughing near her.

Sobs racked up in her chest, as tears threatened to spill. Ivan had noticed her near Miss Bustier's desk, and pointed her out to everyone. They all focused their attention onto the class president.

Marinette scanned her classmates' faces. Some, like Alya, Rose and most of the girls had a guilty expression, whilst Lila had the biggest grin on her face.

As she sprinted out, she bumped straight into Adrien Agreste, and when he saw her expression, he immediately asked, "Marinette, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

There was no answer to his question. She ran off, leaving him baffled, until he noticed the tense atmosphere in the classroom.

A faint flutter caught her attention, but by then it had already been absorbed into something she was wearing. Her head suddenly jerked up, posture instantly becoming straighter, as she heard a man speak.

"It's not fair, is it? How everyone so easily believed that liar, and turned against a person who has helped them so much? Well, Darkbug, I am Hawk Moth. I will give you the power you need to seek revenge on those who betrayed you, and bring mercy to those with good hearts. All I ask in return, is your miraculous, after you've collected your partner's. So, do we have a deal?"

Marinette didn't even have to think about it. She was going to bring suffering to those who hurt her, especially that fox, Lila.

"Yes, Hawk Moth, we do."

Ladybug pulled off her earrings, allowing herself to detransform, as purple bubbles flowed over her clothes. After they had disappeared, she placed the jewellery inside her new yo-yo for safekeeping, and jumped off of the Paris monument to begin her plan.

~*~*~

"Plagg, I really messed up..."

Adrien slumped onto his bed, and stared up at his ceiling. All that he could see was the face of Marinette, as she appeared to be using all of her strength to not break down in front of him in the school corridor.

"Yeah, you definitely have kid," Plagg agreed, floating beside him.

"You know, you're not helping," he deadpanned, only to get a scoff in return.

"Not helping? The superhero Chat Noir let his classmate have rumours spread by someone he knew was lying! And, might I add, visited the classmate at night to comfort her, yet did nothing to stop what was happening to her! I told you that you should have done something."

"I know, I just..." he trailed off, and sat up from his bed. "I never knew that her best friend would rip up her life's work like that. Especially since she knew how important it was to her."

"You know, I would go check on her. After something like that, I would be feeling a lot of negative emotions."

Adrien sighed, and walked over to his bedroom window, where he had a perfect view of the Paris skyline. He couldn't help but think about what she was thinking.

Betrayal? Well, she was betrayed by most of her classmates.

Anger? Her work was destroyed, so yes.

Vengeful? Definitely, after Lila's lies.

If she was akumatized...he shivered at the thought. Hawk Moth would easily be able to target her for all of her emotions. She would probably be one of the strongest villains yet.

"I'm going to check on Marinette," Adrien stated in a matter-of-fact tone. Plagg swallowed his last piece of Camembert, before Adrien exclaimed, "Plagg, claws out!"

After he felt the familiar leather over his body, he jumped from the window, and headed towards Marinette's bakery. As he extended his stick to catapult himself over roofs, there was a beeping noise that resonated from the weapon, signalling that someone was calling him.

Chat stopped on a random balcony, and pressed the staff to his ear.

"Hello, M'Lady," he greeted, only to be met with total silence from the other end.

"Ladybug?" he questioned, straining his ears to listen for any noise.

After a few agonising seconds, Chat heard a faint whisper, that he knew had come from Ladybug. "I need you to come to me..."

The call cut off, leaving the hero confused as to what had just occurred. He pulled up a map on the baton, and saw her Ladybug symbol above an abandoned building nearby. Attaching the weapon to his belt, he set off to where she was.

When he arrived at the destination, he found himself in an empty room, void of any furniture or colour, as the grey wallpaper made it appear as if the colour had been sucked out of it. He began wandering throughout the place, trying to find his partner, or any hint to show she'd been there.

No matter where he looked, he couldn't find anything or anyone, so after spending one minute double-checking his surroundings, he pulled out his baton again, only to hear a voice speak.

"Leaving so soon, Kitty?"

Her long hair appeared a navy blue, and was tied into a braid that lay against her left shoulder. The mask on her face was pointed and fitting, with half being purple and the bottom spotted, like a ladybug. Except, the spots were purple, and the red replaced by a charcoal black.

On her waist was a purple-spotted yo-yo, which struck him as oddly familiar, along with her striking bluebell eyes. A silky material, shaped like a V, blew majestically from her waist, in the slight breeze from an open window nearby.

Chat's eyes widened in surprise, and from recognising the teenager in front of him.

"My- My Lady?" His voice shook with uncertainty and disbelief, as he anticipated the answer.

"Not anymore, Kitty. It's Darkbug," she answered, edging closer ever so slightly.

"What happened? How did you get akumatized?" He questioned, wondering how the heroine had let her emotions take a hold of her.

"My best friend, they betrayed me!" Suddenly, Darkbug pounced, and attempted to lunge at him. His reflexes allowed him to dodge the attack, as he used his staff to block the onslaught of new ones.

"Wait, Darkbug! I would never betray you! Whatever you think I did, I didn't! Cat's honour!" He shakily placed his hand against his chest, and raised it in the air.

She froze mid-swing, and chuckled heartily. Even akumatized, her laughter still sounded like music in his ears.

"Of course you didn't, silly Kitty! I'm only getting your miraculous, then we can be together forever!"

It took a minute to process her words. At his bewildered expression, she explained, "You've always been a true friend, unlike her."

She spat out the last word in a bitter tone, making Chat gulp.

"But, you've always been there through thick and thin, by my side. After Hawk Moth makes his wish, I promise that we'll stick together, with an even better miraculous team."

"Even better team? What, like, without Queen Bee?" Sure, Chat knew she was sometimes a bully, but to kick her off of the team sounded harsh.

Darkbug shook her head as a response, and simply said, "You'll find out, after you give me your ring."

He inched backwards. "Not a chance, M'Lady," he defied.

She attempted to wrap her yo-yo around his torso again, however Chat Noir hit it out of the way, and extended his baton so that it hit the akuma in the stomach, knocking her into a wall.

The hero used her winded state to search for where her akuma could be. He thought about her earrings, but soon came to the conclusion that Hawk Moth would need the miraculous, without an akuma inhabiting it to make his wish.

Her yo-yo? It was a possibility.

Before he could look at anything else she was wearing, she stood up, and kicked him in the chest, sending him across the room.

Quickly, he gained his strength back, and once again was avoiding her weapon swings. It gave him many chances to grab it, and when he managed to after swiping it when it was in the air, he yelled, "Cataclysm!"

Black bubbles formed around his hand, as he readied to destroy the object.

"Wait!" She cried, making Chat Noir turn his head to her.

"If you disintegrate that, then the Ladybug miraculous will be gone too," she said, her voice truthful. "It’s inside it."

He slowly moved his hand from it, and instead asked, "What about the earrings you're wearing?"

"Simply go with the look." She shrugged nonchalantly, and began to walk up to him. He moved his hand closer to the yo-yo in an attempt to threaten her, yet she still advanced.

As soon as she was in front of him, she advised, "Better warn Master Fu, Chaton."

Swiftly, she yanked the yo-yo from his grasp, and leaped out of the building, leaving him confused, before her last words broke him out of his trance.

"Plagg, claws in!"

"Quick, we've got to warn the Guardian!" Plagg shouted frantically, instead of demanding cheese.

"I don't know where he lives, though!" he pointed out, only for Plagg to say, "I know, and so does she! We have to go quick, so follow me!"

The kwami flew to the exit of the building, with Adrien running behind.

~*~*~

As they neared what appeared to be a massage parlour, Adrien urged, "Hide, Plagg!"

The kwami did so in his jacket pocket, as he reached to knock on the front door. To his surprise, it was already open, and behind it, he saw the familiar face of the Guardian.

"Come in, Chat Noir.” He stepped aside to let him walk past. "We need to get you some allies."

Plagg zipped out of Adrien's pocket, with a block of Camembert stuffed in his mouth. He flew to Wayzz, the turtle kwami, and began to have a conversation with him.

Adrien sat across from Master Fu, as the man placed the Miracle Box in front of him. The box opened up, and several miraculous were shown to him.

"Adrien, I think you know by now that Ladybug has been akumatized, and it is up to you to stop her. Use these miraculous to build up a team, as I'm sure that she is probably the smartest and strongest akuma yet."

He stared in awe at the jewels, before saying, "But, I don't know the owners of them, except for some of the Zodiac holders and Chloe."

Master Fu pulled out a list from behind his back, and handed it to Adrien. He folded it, and placed it in his pocket, as the old man explained, "Those are all of the holders’ identities that I know. I'm trusting that you will be able to hand them out."

He pulled off the turtle bracelet from his wrist, and placed it within the Miracle Box. The lid closed, as he picked it up, and gestured for the boy to take it.

"What if Darkbug comes for you?" he asked.

The man responded with, "That doesn't matter. What does, is that Ladybug is saved, and the miraculous are out of Hawk Moth's reach."

Adrien nodded, albeit hesitantly, and took the Miracle Box in his hands. It was hard for him to believe that a single box's contents could drive a man to prey on negative emotions. He must be desperate, if he resorts to mind control just to get two jewels.

Plagg gave a sad look to the Guardian, as he nestled into the Agreste jacket Adrien adorned. He walked out of the parlour, and made his way into an alley, where he transformed and extended his baton to reach the rooftops.

His first destination was Chloe's home, and as he made his way there, he couldn't help but notice the blur of black and purple fly past him towards the building he was just at.

~*~*~

"Chloe Bourgeois, this is the miraculous of the Bee, which grants the power of Subjection, and you will use it for the greater good..."

"Kagami Tsurugi, this is the miraculous of the Dragon, which grants the power of harnessing the elements, and you will use it for the greater good..."

"Nino Lahiffe, this is the miraculous of the Turtle, which grants the power of Protection, and you will use it for the greater good..."

"Luka Couffaine, this is the miraculous of the Snake, which grants the power of manifesting loops to rewind time, and you will use it for the greater good..."

Chat Noir gladly gave these teenagers their miraculous, as they all deserved it, in his eyes.

Chloe, because of how she improved her personality, and even stood up for Marinette a few times when Lila created false claims about her. They became quite friendly acquaintances with each other, even after Chloe bullied her in the past.

Kagami, because of her boldness in defeating her akumatized mother, and wanting nothing more than to prove herself to be worthy to people, even if she didn't need to.

Nino, because he was not only Adrien's best friend, but he saw how Nino regretted siding with Alya against Marinette in class. His friend even admitted that he didn't believe some of the things said about Marinette, but didn't want to say anything.

Luka, because...

Chat Noir didn't know him well, but knew he cared about people close to him. Like Marinette, for example, and that was when he realised that most of his opinions of the miraculous holders were made around her.

Well, what did he expect? Marinette was extremely sociable, and had lots of friends, at least, before Lila came along. Gosh, when he saved his Lady, Chat Noir thought about how he would expose that liar. It wasn't fair for her to ruin Marinette's life like that, and he had seen how hurt she was when he visited her on most nights on her balcony.

He remembered that she once fell asleep in his arms, crying about losing her friends, and he had to silently wave off an akuma before tucking her in bed. It was painful for him to see one of his first friends so torn up about her school life.

Through gritted teeth, he handed out the other miraculous, yet he clearly showed his hate against the holders that went against Marinette.

Rena Rouge, since Alya had torn her sketchbook.

King Monkey, since Kim taunted Marinette frequently.

Pegasus, since Max used his 'calculations' to show that Lila wasn't lying about something when she clearly was.

Before, he had told the worthy holders to wait at Chloe's hotel, while he recruited the others. When everyone finally arrived at the roof of the building, Chat was immediately asked by almost everyone about Ladybug's whereabouts.

"She's the one who's been akumatized, which is why I need you to help me save her," he explained, however he purposely faced the holders that he preferred.

Rena Rouge, noticing his odd behaviour, asked, "What's wrong, why do you seem to hate us? We worked really well together last time, didn't we?"

Kim and Max nodded in agreement, whilst Chat Noir just shook his head in disbelief.

"Maybe we did, but after that stunt you pulled today I can't help but dislike you," he admitted in a bitter tone.

Carapace defended, "Hey, what's your problem dude, she didn't do anything to you!"

He scoffed, then sneered, "Not to me, but definitely to Marinette."

Alya recoiled back, but before she could say anything, Kagami and Viperion both shouted at once, "What did you do to her?"

However, Alya's response was interrupted once again, as a harmonious voice stated, "It's so nice to see those who truly deserve a miraculous..."

Turning around in unison, the teenagers all watched as Darkbug landed nearby on the rooftop, her softened features aimed at Chat soon morphing into anger at Alya as she continued, "..and those who don't."

[sebastianshaw]

RP meme from "Chapter Four: Aspects and Renown" in The World of Darkness Ratkin Breedbook

"What you can actually do is far more important."

"The experience is little more than a challenging contract to prove one’s mettle."

"Not everyone can stand so much isolation and seclusion."

"Along the way, they work whatever scams and schemes they can to survive."

"After all, mavericks are known just as much for their quick wits as their stealth and subterfuge."

"Some do this to escape lives they cannot stand; others quest for ideals they may never achieve."

"If there’s a great place nearby to find food, adventure, or perils that threaten the young, a wise scout or spy will find them quickly."

"Relationships on the road are temporary and superficial."

" A scout or wanderer who hasn’t seen an old friend or lover in years immediately picks up the relationship exactly where it left off."

"Each year, they move from city to city, use and discard temp jobs like old clothes, and evolve a series of personas for different situations."

"Not all of them are impoverished and homeless; as long as you know where to find crash space, you’re never really helpless."

"They are fascinated by places inhabited by other creatures, especially humans."

"Some are smart enough to emulate the people they live near; others come up with bizarre explanations to explain human activity."

"Instead of a straightforward military report on the strength of predators in the area, the data must be condensed into a format even a small child could understand."

"When problems with the physical world grow too great, it’s tempting to just vanish into the ephemeral realms for a while."

"These alternate identities aren’t very flashy, just the sort of quiet identity that no one questions."

"It can also draw attention from police officers, irate merchants, and hostile humans."

"This isn’t my world. I just hide in it. If you’re looking for a place to run, talk to me."

"This isn’t my world. I just hide in it."

"If you’re looking for a place to run, talk to me."

"Seers are the keepers of ancient secrets."

"A human is still a human, and can never be trusted."

"Just because they’re victims doesn’t mean they’re virtuous; they’ll still rip you off when you least expect it."

"They seek wisdom the human race has discarded or left behind."

"They make their lairs in areas where the police fear to go, where the only law in both physical and spirit worlds is survival."

"Her body remains in the physical world; her spirit watches what transpires around it in the spirit world."

"You worry about fighting what you can see. I’ll worry about fighting what you can’t see."

"If they feel strongly enough, they will enforce their beliefs as they best see fit."

"Unfortunately, when passing judgment on their own kind, they have restraints placed on their activities."

"These harsh practices have millennia of precedent."

"They reason that it’s better to have a few small, secure ratholes to hide your equipment and yourself than to go to the trouble of defending a larger turf."

"Many secretly enjoy “pronouncing sentence” on anyone who offends them thoroughly enough."

" Justice is far more important. . . and unfortunately, far more subjective."

"Most know they can’t change the world by openly practicing violence; if anything, they’ve got to be really secretive about their revenge."

"Epic carnage is best left to less sophisticated creatures."

"The threat of one of the local politicians getting killed is usually enough to dissuade them from disagreeing any further."

"They do not disguise themselves when pursuing an assassination, as they will not apologize for what they do best."

"We had a contract. You broke it. Now I’m going to make your life a living hell."

"When rage flows freely, violence reigns."

"Some have the wisdom to choose their battles carefully; others don’t care who dies when battle lust seizes them."

"Peace is nothing more than a temporary cessation of the ways of war."

"Developing martial skill involves far more than just killing things — sometimes it involves crippling them, weakening them, or demoralizing them.

"These soldiers don’t just slay; they also use their knowledge of chaos to confuse their enemies, striking in the night when madness reigns."

"All of them pride themselves on discipline and composure. . . until rage overwhelms reason."

"Warriors of both sexes are mildly insecure, and feel the need to show off their martial prowess."

"What? Just because you’ve got an army surplus jacket and a pipe bomb, that makes you a man?"

"Any fool can pull a trigger."

"Saving the world requires true warriors."

"Technology isn’t evil, after all. It’s just in the wrong paws."

"Many are convinced that if they don’t watch their actions carefully, someone from a local laboratory will capture them and experiment on them to find out why they’re so smart."

"Wherever technology thrives, these rats will move in to scavenge it."

"Humans have a fetish about continually acquiring more stuff, newer stuff and cutting-edge state-of-the-art tech."

"The struggle begins with fierce discussions about technological innovations, and rapidly breaks down into name calling and slander."

"Two machines enter; one machine leaves."

"Whether they tinker with ancient computers or rusting cars, they have an insatiable need to fix anything that’s considered unsalvageable."

"Sometimes, she’ll spend the whole day collecting knickknacks just to see what she can build out of them that evening."

"Genius has its price."

"Each one has a physiological trait that identifies him as the gene freak he is."

"Dark powers tutor them in forgotten arts of destruction."

"He’ll be deposed by forces he’s summoned up, but can’t put down."

"Turn your head and cough. Oooh! I’ve never seen it that color before."

"Not all of them are swashbuckling heroes, but all of them are delusional about their origins and their heroic prowess."

"The conflict of egos can become so intense that bystanders get hurt from the fallout."

"Dueling etiquette demands satisfaction."

"Anyone who hears this tale will swear that it is true."

"My good sir, adventure is my middle name!"

"What? You don't believe me?"

"Keep her pointed in the right direction, and she’ll masterfully eliminate your enemies."

"If you’re not careful, she’ll blow up right in your face."

"Any place populated by the desperate, frustrated or down-and-out is another good choice — not only does it make for a good place to hide, but it has its share of potential allies seeking vengeance. . . or potential victims at which to vent your anger."

"They’ll need a really powerful common enemy to unite them; otherwise, each will suspect the other of conspiracy."

"Many come from criminal backgrounds, broken homes, abject poverty or the sort of banal borderline existence that breeds cynicism and contempt for just about everyone."

"Each one has a surprising degree of truth to it."

"It controls all forces of order."

"The balance of the world will not be restored until we destroy everything that smells of stasis, stability or the status quo."

"Hey, nobody saw me do anything. Besides, he had it coming. . . he pissed me off. What? You talking to me? You talking to me?"

"Hey, nobody saw me do anything. Besides, he had it coming. . . he pissed me off."

"Hey, nobody saw me do anything."

"Besides, he had it coming. . . he pissed me off."

"What? You talking to me? You talking to me?"

"You want a piece of me?"

"Chant the creed, kid, and learn. . ."

"I shall seek revenge against those who prey upon my kind."

"I will survive so that I may breed."

"I must respect strength and exploit weakness."

"I shall grow stronger through conflict."

"I will learn from the mysteries of the spirit world."

"I will revel in the visions the spirits grant me."

"I shall nurture, instruct and aid the young."

"I will trust my own kind before I trust outsiders."

"When someone is responsible for injustice, I will make sure someone pays."

"Legality is a subjective concept at best."

"Fighting to survive is difficult enough."

"What else could heal the world?"

"They’re doomed to self-destruct."

"The day that the buildings come crashing down, I’ll dance in the streets."

"Survival comes first."

"Mankind’s days are numbered."

"The strong breed. The weak die. Does that sound harsh? That’s evolution."

"Instinct will tell you when to kill, so follow it."

"We need an army to overwhelm our enemies."

"I still do not know if this is wise."

"If only the strong breed, then you must prove your strength before you can reproduce."

"Don’t be some addle-witted wharf rat who breeds with any half-dead body in the sewers. You, soldier, are the paragon of your race."

"Such egotism!"

"That is nature's way."

"That is nature’s way. If the population of creatures in any one area is too high, a few can be killed or a great number will starve."

“Property is relative. If I can take it, it’s mine. If you can’t defend it, you don’t deserve to have it."

"They buy far more than they need, go to great lengths to defend what they have, and insist that they have the right to determine who owns what."

"If you own more than you can carry, you’re wasting what others can use."

"Betray others before you betray your own kind."

"We’re running into the world together, kid, so we’ve got

to stick together. You ready to go? Um. . . you first. . .”

"You ready to go? Um. . . you first. . .”

"We’re running into the world together, kid, so we’ve got

to stick together."

"I just feel this rage in my blood that’s been there since the dawn of time. And I just feel like acting on it."

"Show me your true face, and it’s my call whether I want to slash it off."

[ijustwant2write]

Sister’s Secret-Merlin x Pendragon!Magic!Reader

(GIF credit to @harritudur​)

Requested by @cokecola4211​: ‘Merlin imagine being Arthur's younger sister and having magic and always a struggle to hide it from your brother and even Morgana.’

Characters: Merlin x Pendragon!Magic!Reader, Arthur Pendragon x Pendragon!Magic!Reader (siblings), Morgana x Pendragon!Magic!Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Violence, fighting

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“I don’t think I should attend the tournament today, I don’t feel too well.” I mumbled to Morgana, placing a hand over my stomach for effect.

“You won’t be getting out of this one (Y/N).” she sadly smiled at me, linking her arm through mine.“Be a part of the sportsmanship.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like being a princess.”

She scoffed.“Oh the horror.”

I giggled.“Not like that. I just really don’t want to go today.”

“We shall be sat together. We can talk throughout the whole thing and annoy Uther to no end.”

“Yes, my father will comment on our un-ladylike behaviour.”

“And we will watch your brother show of his amazing fighting skills, what a thrilling afternoon.”

We walked with the guards who were escorting us to the tournament, still chatting away. Morgana made me feel slightly better, though I could still feel nerves. I had tried to avoid every public event I could, though father was having none of it. I had got away with it the first few times, but then father became worried; once Gaius was called in, he knew I was faking it. I lied, putting it down to nerves now that I was coming of age to take on more responsibilities as a princess. Father had strict words with me, saying that I needed to face these head on, take a page out of Arthur’s book.

Arthur and I didn’t butt heads like he and Morgana did, though it was hard to put up with him when he got so much praise for being a prince; but I loved my brother dearly, he was a brave man.

However, I wasn’t feeling part of the family anymore. Something mysterious was happening to me, something I couldn’t control or tell anyone. I found myself controlling things without realising, items would float or be thrown across the room. It happened out of the blue, and I was extremely lucky to be by myself when I discovered what I had; magic. Why I possessed this power was unknown, and how did I have these powers when no one else in my family did? I kept this secret for months now, it had been difficult to hide at times, too many times there had been where I was almost caught. What would people think of their princess having magic? Especially since their king was so harsh on the law?

I remembered back to when I was a child, playing with Arthur and Morgana. We were stuck inside, rain pouring from the skies since the evening, and it had no sign of stopping throughout the day. Morgana and I were playing with our dolls castle, dressing up the dolls in beautiful gowns that we wished we could wear. Arthur wouldn't sit still, swinging around the wooden sword father had gifted him. He purposefully came too close to us, making us flinch and whine everytime we thought he was going to hit us.

"Arthur! Stop it or I'm going to call nanny!" I threatened, pouting my lips.

He continued his actions."You two are boring. You should play knights with me instead of those stupid dolls!"

Morgana gasped."Arthur!"

I stomped my foot."They aren't stupid!"

"Yes they are."

My fists were clenched, and I found myself storming towards him, about to shove him back, but he had already been thrown to the floor. He cried out as I halted, confused as to how he had fallen over when I hadn't even touched him.

"Princess!" Nanny had run into the room, attending to Arthur."You can't go around pushing people, especially your brother. You must remember your lessons as a lady."

"But nanny, (Y/N) didn't push him!" Morgana defended me.

"Morgana, we don't tell lies either."

"I didn't push him!" I screamed at the top of my tiny lungs, thunder and lightning violently cracking outside, causing us all to jump.

The noise silenced everyone, the light rain now coming down harsher. Nanny huffed, getting Arthur on his feet and brushing him down. Why was she ignoring me? Why didn't she believe me? Even Morgana was telling her the truth, and Morgana hardly said anything. I could feel the anger building up inside me, I felt hot, my hands were shaking; my vision was blurry, I couldn't focus on anything. As I went to step towards them, my knees buckled, but it went black before I even hit the floor. That was the last time I remembered my powers before they returned.

“Ah, (Y/N), you have decided to join us.” father smiled, though his tone held some sarcasm.

“Yes father,” I hugged him,“shouldn’t miss Arthur’s sparring after all the training he put himself through.”

“Indeed.”

Rolling my eyes at Morgana, we broke the hug, and he greeted her next. Following my father up the steps to our viewing box, the people of Camelot cheered once they spotted us, being silenced by a wave of my father's hand. He announced the beginning of the event, the knights filing out to the arena, crowds cheering once again. I clapped, smiling as I spotted Arthur; why men wanted to fight each other as a form of sport was unknown to me. Some knights I knew of were chivalrous, brave, others just used the title to boost their ego.

One of them was huge. He had darker armour on than the usual silver. He towered above the rest, his body wider in muscle. Whoever trained him had obviously wanted him to be a fighting machine. He made me nervous. Arthur was a skilled fighter, but sometimes strength overcame that.

Normally I wouldn't pay much attention throughout the whole tournament, but this new knight had my full attention. He had taken out man after man, and my brother was next to face him.

"Something doesn't feel right." I mumbled to Morgana.

She nodded."He's taken out every knight. Most of them have had to be carried off the field. Why isn't anyone stopping this?"

"Pride." I turned my head to my father."Surely we should stop this? Arthur is going to get hurt."

My father's expression did not change, masking his true feelings."I cannot pull Arthur out of the tournament, how would that look to the other Lords and knights attending?"

"But he's your son! You would rather keep your pride than to save him from getting hurt?"

"We both know that even if I wanted to stop him, he would still go in and fight."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair."Like father like son."

Anticipation grew as the men readied themselves for the final battle. The opponent walked out first, receiving some praise, whereas once Arthur appeared, the roars were so loud, they could probably be heard in the next kingdom. Although I tried to keep my composure as I clapped for him, I found my eyes never tearing away from his form, praying that no harm would come to him. It all seemed to happen too quickly. They began their fight, clashes of swords and shields ringing out as the people yelled, supporting their future King. My heart thumped in my chest, hands clutching to my chair, all of my muscles tensing. Out of the blue, Arthur was pushed to the floor, images of us as children flashed into my mind.

Everyone gasped, whereas I heard the splintering of wood. Looking down at my left hand, I realised that I had broken the arm of the chair. No, not now, not in front of all these people; not this close to my family.

Arthur was on his back crawling away from his opponent. I was on the edge of my seat as the sword was raised, all of sudden striking down on Arthur. Luckily, he swiftly rolled out of the way, stumbling to his feet. However, as Arthur quickly picked up his sword to fight again, we were all entranced by his fighters weapon. It was stuck in the ground, but as he grabbed it again, it snapped in half. Arthur took this opportunity of surprise to attack, taking him down. As chivalrous as ever, Arthur showed mercy. But I couldn't stay here any longer, I felt an overwhelming surge of energy in me, and if I didn't get away soon, I didn't know how much I could hide.

Leaping from my chair, I hurried away, ignoring the calls of my father and Morgana. The guards were quick to follow, though once away from the arena and near the castle, I commanded they leave me alone. There were plenty of places to hide in the castle, I just needed to find somewhere quick. As I ran down the halls, my breathing was erratic, vision blurry once again. I stumbled into a wall, crumbling the stone with just my hand. I stopped, leaning beside it before sinking to the floor. How could I feel tired, yet harness all this power? My hands started to shake, there was nothing to stop it; shutting my eyes, I focused all of my mind on my hands, willing this all to stop. It had to stop. Someone would come by soon, someone would see what I had done, then they would tell my father, and he would have no choice but to send me to the-

"Princess?" Merlin's voice scared me.

My eyes shot open, gasping as I saw him kneeling in front of me.

"What are you doing on the floor? Are you hurt?"

I furiously shook my head, wanting to get up though I couldn't find the strength. His eyes glanced down at my shaking hands, slowly taking them in his.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped."Please don't, just leave me!"

"Your highness," his voice was a whisper now, "I need you to trust me."

All I could do was watch as he held my hands firmer, staring at them. A cooling sensation flooded my skin, the intense energy I was feeling dying down. Shakily breathing, I caught his eyes flash to a gorgeous golden, amber colour. No, he couldn't be. My brother's manservant possessed magic?!

"Come to the infirmiry with me, we have much to speak about." he quietly said, helping me to my feet.

Willingly following him, he sat me down at the table in Gaius' chambers, kneeling in front of me. If I wasn't confused before, I certainly was now, a headache forming.

"You've had these powers for a while now, haven't you?" he calmly asked.

"Merlin, I-"

"You can trust me. You've just seen what I can do."

"Yes. But they've only just come back. I don't understand why."

"Magic has its own rules, unfortunately for some."

"Merlin, why are you working in the castle when you could easily be spotted? Someone could report you!"

Realisation flashed over his face."Y-you aren't going to say anything, are you?"

"Of course not! What sort of hypocrite would I be if I told of your powers when I possess my own? Though...looking back on my father's tales of how evil magic is, it just confuses me."

"Not all magic is bad. There is good that lies behind it, as long as it's in the right hands."

"But why me?"

"Why anyone?"

"You are starting to sound like Gaius more and more."

We both smiled."Was it you that broke the wall?"

"Yes. I broke the chair back in the arena too."

"You need to learn to harness your power."

"You could teach me!"

"W-well-"

"Merlin, how am I, the princess of Camelot, supposed to hide something like this without training?"

"When would I do that? You've seen how Arthur works me to death."

"Hm, my brother is a dollop head about that sort of thing."

Merlin raised an eyebrow at me, chuckling.

"I've heard you call him that, I like it."

We laughed until the door opening interrupted. My father stormed in, Gaius and Arthur close behind.

"What happened?" Father exclaimed.

"Merlin, you left me to take off my own armour!" Arthur seethed.

Merlin stumbled with his words, standing up as he tried to come up with a lie.

"I told you earlier that I shouldn't have come today. Just seeing Arthur almost get hurt sent me over the edge." I sighed."I'm sorry that I ran off like that, but I didn't want to draw away any attention from your victory Arthur. And Merlin was the one who found me."

Arthur smiled."Your health is far more important than any victory of mine."

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before." Father started."Gaius, give her a full examination. Make sure she is alright. I shall stay with you."

"No father, you should go to the Lords and knights, it will be improper to keep them waiting."

"If you are sure."

"Of course. You will be the first to know if anything ails me."

He kissed my forehead before leaving with Arthur. Arthur squeezed my hand, following Father. My tense shoulders relaxed as they closed the door, looking to Merlin and Gaius.

"Your highness, what hap-"

"She has magic Gaius." Merlin interrupted.

"Merlin!" I snapped.

"It's alright, he knows."

"Oh, Merlin." Gaius sighed."You do seem to attract trouble, don't you?"

I pouted."Are you stating that I am trouble?"

"Apologies your highness. I am assuming Merlin has offered his help already?"

"Well, I sort of asked him myself."

"You do realise how dangerous this is, don't you your highness?"

"Yes. But I have no other choice."

"Gaius, I can help her. I have too." Merlin said.

"Well, I don't think I can really stop either of you, can I?"

We both shook our heads.

"We will do all we can to help you princess, just know, that it won't be an easy journey. You are bordering on treason of your kingdom."

"I understand. I will do anything to control this power. And who knows, maybe in the future, I will be able to convince my father that not all magic is evil."

[werezmastarbucks]

Whitmore Guy comes clean

Whitmore Guy masterlist

word count: 4158

music: why are you here by mgk, halfway dead by steve aoki, global dan and travis barker

“I’m here”, he said after a pause. By this time she was already sat in her bed, in a defensive position, with her knees firmly in the mattress.

“Mal!”

He didn’t let her finish.

“Would you have preferred me to stay invisible, would that make you feel more comfortable?” he asked reasonably, reading her mind. “You know I’ve been here. Because I told you”.

“Bonnie did”, she yelled, “Bonnie did! What are you, Mal?”

Mal stepped out of the darkness without making noise, and it hit her finally. Finally. He’s not human. There’s no way in hell he’s mortal! The way he moves, the way he never looks tired, although he claims to barely ever sleep, the way he just manifests himself at places; she thought of the first time they met, back in the gatherings hall, and how he smelt sweet like chewing candy. And how she thought he might be a trickster. That would suit him well. The eyes were pitch black in the twilight of the room. Y/N didn’t move.

“That’s a bit harsh”, he said coldly. “What am I, really? You think I’m some kind of monster?”

He chuckled and gave his light attitude away.

“How did you get inside my house? You never broke the lock”, she said quietly.

“I picked it. It’s easy. Do you want me to show you?”

She got out of bed puffing. She wasn’t afraid of him, but he creeped her out. If that makes sense? She felt like she could take him out, no matter what, and not because she could arguably throw a punch. But because she had certain power over him. Mal has always been nice to her, not in a friendly way, but in a ‘you’re special’ way. As opposed to everybody else. With other people, he was superficial, secretly arrogant and dismissive, but he treated her differently which, unfortunately for him, gave her the advantage. That’s what she thought.

Mal smiled slowly as she approached him, circling the bed. He bit his lower lip, pretending to check her out.

“You never answer any of my questions. You never tell me the truth”.

“I never lie to you, either. You just gotta ask the right questions”.

Mal lifted his hand and looked at the invisible watch on his wrist.

“We have to go. Can you get dressed really quickly?”

She narrowed her eyes. Obviously, something’s up if he showed up in her house. And didn’t ‘stay invisible’. Clearly, she needs to call Damon ASAP and check on them. Her paranoia told her to. Yet, she was standing there, in comfortable darkness, allowing him to listen to her heartbeat, two steps away from him, and her head was filled with the memories of them making out on the couch after the dinner party. Between the dinner party and finding the bodies in the house next door. She wanted to kiss him again, wanted so very badly, but thankfully, she was a thinking creature. Hot take: the desires of the body are not stronger than the council of the brain. Mal wanted that, too. His face was lean, wolf-like in the shadows, and he watched her carefully, badly hidden threat behind his smile. His smile was always only lips-deep, like a sticker he put over his face, like a mask. Every time Y/N touched him, it fell, and she took in his deep, dark color, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

“You think I’m going anywhere with you, you’re severely mistaken”, she said.

“I thought you wanted to know the truth”, Mal said innocently, and tilted his head.

“Truth about what? There’s too many things messed up to know clearly what you mean”.

“What if I tell you they’re all connected? Your gape in the head, and Damon going on a killing spree, and…” he paused, puzzled, “uh… that…” he closed his eyes, ruining the mysterious allure. He was trying to recall a name again. “That dude… Ma… Mutt?”

“Mal, fucking hell”, she threw her hands up, “Matt, his name was Matt, and he was one of my best friends”.

Mal nodded, seeing that she wasn’t joking anymore. Y/N stepped away and went to the window to open the curtains and let some more light into the room.

“Why don’t you jump out of your pj’s and put something on, so that we can go? It won’t be too nice in the town for the next ten hours or so”.

She turned abruptly.

“What do you mean?”

Mal shrugged again.

“I will honestly strike you on the head if you don’t stop talking in riddles”.

Mal licked his lips, and she finally saw, as the street light fell on him, that his jaws were pressed together. His eyes were dark because he was pissed, even though he smiled, even though his voice was close to normal, the usual. There was a time bomb inside his head, and she could all but hear the ticking behind his eyes.

“Listen, I don’t have time to chat you up, okay?” he said, and it sounded like he was a stranger. Y/N’s instincts kicked in, and she grouped standing at the window, like a small animal. As Mal moved towards her, her brain made a crazy attempt to convince her crawling out of the window will be a good idea.

When he grabbed Y/N by the shoulder, she could feel the zip again, that happened occasionally. He always wore synthetic shirts, and she got quite used to it. She never even brought it up, and now suddenly, it was clear as day that she should have. There were no accidents with Mal. This weird itchy feeling when he touched her, meant something and he knew about it, too. She was startled for a second, then she tried to kick out, but his fingers wrapped around her forearm decisively.

“I gave you a chance to change, now you gotta ride all the way to Georgia in your sleeping shirt”.

She didn’t know how he managed to drag her down the stairs, but when she blinked, they were already standing at the driveway. Mal walked towards her car taking her keys out of his pocket.

“Get in, we’re going”.

“What have I gotten into”, she mumbled, approaching the car and opening the door slowly. “You’re too strong for a normal dude, you know that?”

Mal smiled shortly as if she complimented him.

“I’m not a normal dude though, am I?”

He started the car quickly and drove out into the street. Mal usually refused to get behind the wheel if Y/N was willing to drive. He even whined a little about having to drive when she got too drunk to do it. Now, he looked as if he’s been the most experienced driver. The wheel was calm and obedient under his hand, and it felt like betrayal, too. Like she didn’t know him at all. Y/N looked at him, the side of his face, the upturned nose and focused eyes, and thought that it wouldn’t surprise her if his whole personality was a lie, too.

“What’s happening with the town? Are the guys alright?”

“How am I supposed to know?” he frowned childishly, his eyebrows gathering together. “I just don’t want you to be there when it comes down, obviously. The FBI guys have returned, apparently, and they’re determined that Damon has killed everybody… which I fully support”.

“You know damn well he hasn’t killed anybody”, Y/N bumped her fist into his shoulder and he didn’t budge.

“How do you know? You’re so brainwashed by him”, Mal threw.

“That’s far from truth”, she muttered, checking the pockets of her pants. As he was dragging her out of the room, she was still holding her phone in her hand. Millennials, am I right?

“Where’s the damn phone”, she said to herself, frustrated. Mal drove out into the main street and sped up, clearly wanting to get out of the town soon. She put both her hands into her pockets and checked the seat.

“Where’s my phone, Mal?”

“I have it”, he tapped himself on the chest pocket of his jean jacket. Y/N blinked with one eye; it was more like a twitch.

“Give it back”.

She realized he had slipped his hand into her pants while they were walking down the stairs.

“To do what?”

“Give it back, you tricky bastard”, she leaned over and grabbed him by the hand free of the wheel.

“Whoa! Calm down, psycho”, Mal grinned and pushed her back gently. “What do you need it for? It’s the middle of the night, everybody’s asleep”.

“I need to call Elena to make sure she’s alright! Do they even know the FBI… whatever they are, are in town?”

“Of course. I learnt it from them”, Mal said shortly. They were now straight on the highway leading out of Mystic Falls. The town is that small. A couple of streets, weaving inside like spider guts, a park, a square, and that’s it. A little place to live, really. It closes your mind, clogs your imagination. One can easily go crazy here.

“I was at the Craze, then the blonde slow vamp, Carrie, runs in, and her eyes are like, this big, and she says the tol and the smol are back. And I’m like, so what? And she’s like, they’re onto Dean! And I’m like, good for them, you know? Carrie is all flustered. But he’s our friend, and he didn’t kill anybody… while he totally did”, Mal shrugged. Y/N closed her eyes, irritated at his intentional name mess. He has established his dominance enough times already. There’s no need to purposefully diminish them every time, to remind her he doesn’t feel too psyched about the gang.

“And I was all, hm, there might be confrontation, so how about I take you away, yeah? It’s their own problems, let them deal with the feds themselves”, his face lit up a little, “they’re big vampires now after all”.

“I’m involved in that as well”, Y/N hissed, “you know? One of the vampires, before they all died at Craze, refused to bite me, which is a nonsense for a young vampire”.

“Oh”, he frowned a little, “then it’s all the better to take a break, right?”

She hit the back of the seat hard, looking at the dark ribbon of the road lying ahead. Her bare feet were rubbing against each other. Mal started fidgeting with the audio system and actually had the audacity to take out her phone from his pocket to connect it to the player.

“Unblock it”, he said, and it sounded more like an order. She rolled her eyes and, as he handed the phone to her, tried to grab it away from the guy. His fingers were worse than ironlike clutch of death.

“Hey, don’t be funny. Listen, I don’t mean anything to happen to you, okay? I’m just taking precautions”.

There was the familiar rectangular dark shape which was the sign with the name of the town. As the music hit the car, Mal stretched his neck a little, tilting his head from side to side, and she felt a strong desire to make him open up. She just wanted him to trust her enough to tell all. To not play anymore. It’s not that she’ll run, because there’s something wrong with him. She just needs to know to own him completely. Maybe it was crazy, too early for commitment like that, but her flaring nostrils told her she’s cooked enough.

There were cars on both sides of the road, but she couldn’t make them out properly as her own car sped past them. She turned her head back and caught the glimpse of people starting to gather on the road behind them, as if they had been expecting her car to pass, to close the way. One car moved forward and stopped right in the middle, blocking the way out of Mystic Falls.

She looked at Mal, wishing to hell he glances back, and she got severely disappointed, because when he did, there wasn’t a shred of sympathy for her distress. Her gut feeling got much worse though. It looked like a trick now, less like him acting on impulse. Mal understood it, seemingly. He shrugged off his playfulness and was completely serious now.

“I lied to you once”, he said.

I’m not myself

I’m not myself when you’re around, no

Can’t be helped,

the song chanted. He spoke calmly, his head swaying a little as if his neck was a light balloon string.

“I did steal your chain. I wanted to have a part of you with me at all times. Take it”, he lifted his elbow and opened his chest pocket. “Don’t fucking touch your phone”.

Y/N felt her whole body tense, the freeze so deep her skull got stung for a second, like she all turned into a stone.

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll break your arm”, he said.

She kept looking at his absent stare he was radiating onto the road. It’s like he wasn’t watching where he was driving at all, like he was inside somewhere. That’s a powerful stunt, demanding something from a person without even looking at them. She put out her hand out of curiosity and slid her fingers into his pocket. It was warm on the inside, the heat was coming from his body. Very normal human heat. Something stopped her, either the fear of pain, or the fear that this pain will be inflicted by Mal. Her fingers brushed over the lukewarm smooth screen of her phone, and she felt the pricky chain of her necklace. She pulled it out, and looked at it, mesmerized. Mal finally glanced at her.

“Was Martha Hopps ever your girlfriend?” she asked.

“No”, she shook his head, “I wouldn’t do you like that”.

 Y/N looked back again and clutched her necklace in her fist. Her other hand crawled to the handle of the door. Mal was speeding no less than fifty miles on the highway. She pulled the handle and pushed the door with her shoulder, grouping and closing her eyes. The song was filling the interior of her car. It was called ‘halfway dead to me’ and now she thought, right before throwing herself on the road and potentially killing herself, that even the music they listened to together should have communicated some message she’s missed.

It happened very quickly, as the door flew open, and the wind brushed over her violently; the sound of the highway being eaten by the wheels of the car. The dark sky, a starless back dome above; she was almost out, in the air, when his hand grabbed her by her neck and pulled back into the car so hard she collided with Mal and hit her thigh. The door of the car closed by itself with a bash and the music blasted her head like a baseball bat. Y/N closed her eyes, pressing her jaws together to withstand the pain. When it let go, she moved herself in the seat and shook her head.

“You could’ve killed yourself!” he yelled, sincerely frustrated. The car swayed as he returned both hands to the wheel. She has never seen him scared before, and it baffled her. Mal gave her a wide-eyed stare. “What is happening inside your goofy head?!”

“You’re not human!” she cried in return.

“Duh!”

She punched his shoulder once again to see that he doesn’t mind the mild pain. He barely noticed.

“You’re a vampire”.

Mal sniffed with displeasure.

“You only pulled this to test me? What if I hadn’t caught you?!”

“But that’s… that doesn’t make any sense. You walk in the sun and you eat all the time, and… others didn’t smell you”, she was still panting from the jump. Her neck ached from the stiff clutch he performed on her. In fact, Mal grabbed her so hard it felt like he was about to tear her head off completely. She rubbed her throat and the back of her neck with both hands.

“And you entered my house, without an invitation”, she finished. Mal sighed, turning the music down a little. She was still very aware of the songs that were playing. They always listened to this one playlist, which she had no memories of compiling. The title, the combination of the songs, the cover was inexplicable to her. These six months were so frustrating even this screaming oddness felt more like it was meant to be. Now she realized it was the only playlist she ever heard Mal play. And the fact that it was titled ‘douche’…

“That’s because I’ve already been there before”, he said, nonchalantly. He didn’t need to say it, she already knew.

“Malivore is in Georgia, huh”, she said. Diving deep into the seat, she looked on the path they were traveling again. Finally realizing is so liberating it’s hard to describe. For a moment, it felt like the car was completely silent.

The whole attraction thing, Mal knowing ways to get to her, the music, the movies, the manners… the mutual trust which is virtually impossible among people like him… the nights and days she felt lost, when she felt like there was a piece of her brain missing and the gaping hole whistling in the wind. The pink sky reminding her of something it couldn’t utter in human language, and the sucking, sad, tragic tunnel pulsating in her guts – all this meant she was broken over losing somebody at the shore of the sea of oblivion.

 “You know how you had that strange feeling you missed somebody? And thought it was Matt?” he said with disgust. Y/N had no energy to say anything, crashed down by the powerful feeling of loss once again, all coming down at once, like she was pulled away right from her skeleton. She was looking at this stranger sitting next to her, trying to fit him into the frame of the new found truth, and he didn’t match. And that was the part of it.

She finally knew who she’s been crying about those weeks, when she would collapse on the floor of her room suddenly, startled by the outburst, confused by even why the tears are coming. The long nights she spent agonizing, - and she’d never told anyone, not even Elena – over something, crouched under the cover, seized by terror, like something was impaling her – now she knew why. Her chest got hard and narrow, and she put the hand to her throat.

“You’re the guy he threw into the Malivore”, she finally said. Mal nodded. The world was tearing apart; she could see the tear line up above, so clearly. It was fucking crumbling down in pieces. Only Damon – only that bastard could ever think of that. Of throwing someone into oblivion to erase them completely.

She might have whimpered, because Mal slowed the car down, concern on his face, and they stopped in the middle of the road. The night highway was empty and hollow, and when she left the car, almost crawling out, she noticed there were stars after all. Just very far away. Unreachable.

She felt the light movement of air on her cheek that was burning up, like the rest of her body. The road was long, leading away into the dark patch of space where the street lightning failed and gave in. The fields were quiet around them, night fog falling slowly to wrap them in its deadly embrace. The wind cried, get inside! Be safe! But the blue twilight of the forest in the distance felt like a mount of doom approaching. You couldn’t hide from it in the car. She couldn’t figure out now why she was crying. She felt so robbed; she felt like somebody had the audacity to come and tear her heart out, and now, the worst thing, she couldn’t feel anything because it was the heart she lacked. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like to Mal. A cautious look thrown at him found him on the other side of the hood, watching her carefully. It was as if he was afraid to approach. Maybe he thought she was too delicate, or was actually afraid.

“How…” she tried her voice, and it let her down. Only whisper came out. “How did you get out?”

Mal circled the car slowly, without hurry. There were no more sounds, just the music from the car, and his steps. Mal touched her shoulders and made her focus on him, shooting right into her eyes. He was being very dramatic.

“I crawled back to you. Wouldn’t even be the first time. Remember how I got out of hell?”

In a second only she realized that there’s a smirk crooking his dirty mouth. He enjoyed his little joke.

“Oh, of course you don’t. Sorry”.

Her hands grabbed on Mal’s elbows and she pressed herself into his chest. It’s fucked up how memories are nothing. How not having the essential information makes you lose your head as you try to understand why you trust a person you don’t know so much; why you intuitively know he’ll do no harm to you; how you’re attracted to him. His smell was familiar now, almost vital. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and felt a heavy sigh that left his body. Mal hugged her back, putting his chin on the top of her head.

“Don’t worry. I’ll show you. I’ll show you everything, I know how. I have so much to tell you… honey”.

All those days, and she cried in vain. And now she knew what she cried for. And that is so unfair her throat is about to burst with rage. Only Damon…

“I’m going to kill him”, she said gravely, all of a sudden. She could hear his heart now, too. Beating like there’s no special vampire force in it. Mal sighed again.

“It was their collective decision”.

She stepped back to look him in the face.

“What?”

“They were all on it”, he repeated. It was hard to hide the joy in his voice, like he was bringing good news. She knew now how to filter it. She knew he can’t control it.

“Even Elena?”

He rolled his eyes a little.

“Even Elena”.

Mal pulled her on the elbow gently as she started crying again.

“I’ll fix everything, I promise. Hey, they’re paying for it right now”.

With a shaking hand, she clutched his, and squeezed it.

“Mal, please… please, don’t…”

His face went hard.

“I don’t get it. Do you want to punish them or not?”

She moaned. She was holding on to his hand because the knees almost gave in. She could literally feel sanity leaving her, from the little hole in her temple. She was going mad.

“Mal…”

“It’s Kai by the way”, he added, harshly. “Kai Parker. Look at me. You know, this is what I never really understood. You’re so clearly upset, and it makes me very happy… I mean, like, not in a way that I like to see you hurt, but… well, you get it. But you still want to protect them? You were never able to make the choice, you know?”

Seeing that she is not able to object, he went on.

“Quite honestly, that’s hurtful. You know, after everything I’ve been through… you know, you have been the only person ever that didn’t hate me outright. You know? I always thought that maybe you will be the first person who chooses me over everybody else. Is that a lot to ask? I don’t know. Is it? Do you know that I spent more time searching and fighting for you since we met than actually being with you?”

“Mal, you’re hurting me”.

“It’s Kai. I am Kai. You call me Kai, because it’s my name”, he snapped, “it’s the only fucking thing I still have left. And you know who’s to blame for it? Your friends. The bunch of…” he sucked the air through his teeth. His hands were doing the opposite of what he was saying, holding her, rubbing her shoulders so that she doesn’t get cold. Maybe he held her too tightly. She yelped a little with pain, and he almost let go. Pressing his forehead close to hers, he whispered,

“This time I have made that choice for you, okay? Clearly, you need my help. I will never leave you, baby, never. You will be with me forever now, okay? Don’t worry. We’re not drifting away anymore, I won’t let it happen ever again”.

She shivered. As they kissed, she wasn’t sure who’s kissing whom. She knew she wanted it, and at the same time, in her mind, the sirens were going off, wailing like the apocalypse was banging on the walls of her consciousness. She was almost sure she knew what was happening in Mystic Falls.

[handlewithkara]

@peggystormborn I don't think that it has to be "she doesn't have to choose" just because that seems the most natural to people. I think they could have made for example Alex or humanity uber alles work.

I definitely don’t think that it has be Argo AND earth, I think the groundwork was already there with Kara not really feeling at home on Argo either when she doesn’t enjoy the dinner with her childhood friend. The ending could easily have been that she decides she doesn’t need Argo because “Argo was in her heart the entire time!”. Stories whether one chooses one thing can work. Think of all the city life versus small town life that do end with the person deciding the city sucks, they are going to settle down (something that often gets criticized rather justly, but still, there is a long tradition of those stories). Or a long variety of romances that are “I got blinded by X, but then I suddenly realize I actually love Y”. One could have done that about Argo, “I thought Argo was going to fix my identity woes, but it was actually just a smoke screen, I was just running away from my problems”. 

I know some of the more anti-Karamel faction always wanted her to reject Argo (even independent of Karamel going there) because Alura is a bad and cruel person who sent Kara away and put Astra in jail. 

It’s strange. Even though we know they had full control of the season finale, I don’t think they full broke with the themes and values of season 3. Turning Alura and (or) Mon-El evil would have given Kara a reason to reject them and never mention them again. And it wouldn’t have necessarily have been that much of a stretch Like they could have written as Alura being indifferent to human collatoral damage and Kara just can’t abide by that. 

Or it would have required a scene a the most to write “As Imra shows to help save the world, Mon-El’s face lights up and he decides that it was Imra all along, her coming back to help them out settles it for him”. 

Heck, they could have had Alex being the one in danger in the finale rather than Alura and Mon-El. They could have written this as Kara’s big realization that earth and humanity is all she wants. 

Instead, Mon-El still breaks up with Imra, Karamel still are shown as at least very friendly on Kara’s side, Alura is still overall an nice and helpful person who is sad about the things she did in the past (like with Astra), them being in danger as Kara turns back time kind of strengthens their importance even, just as Kara bids goodbye to both of them (only for the goodbye to Winn to take up more of the episode dramatically than either of those goodbyes? Talk about weird messaging?). 

It makes me wonder whether the plan orignially was that Mon-El was to return and it was Chris who said no because he really disliked the story they were planning for Mon-El? And they were so angry at him that they refused to even mention Mon-El for the longest time? Winn’s goodbye being more emotional would kind of fit better if originally Jeremy was the only one they knew was leaving and originally there would have been more to Alura and Mon-El’s stories (with maybe Alura being sort of collatoral damage to them not finding an agreement with Chris). 

Or they decided this wasn’t the direction they wanted to go into but they didn’t want to fully break with the themes of season 3, so they were still reasonably respectful to Mon-El and Alura. It just seems if they just wanted to be rid of the story and for people to stop asking questions, there were other ways to close it more completely, even if they didn’t want to go as far as either Mon-El being evil/Kara realizing he really was a jerk and she never loved him, or Mon-El returning to Imra, Like Mon-El giving back the necklace would have felt pretty final or if not him realizing that he does love Imra, at least have his words about the future stress that they are his family and home, instead his words are all about duty (”I swore to protect”).

It makes me wonder why they cut the scene between Kara and Alura. Whether it was just for time, or because they didn’t want Kara to spell out how she felt during the greenhouse scene or because Karamel fans as well as all other shippers would have taken Alura’s words “Not every love story is simple, but in time the truth always reveals itself” to be an encouragement to keep waiting. 

In the end, what I’m trying to say is, you are right, Kara’s identity juggling was an important theme of season 3 and of Karamel in season 3, but as you say yourself, the writers also seemed to drop a lot of stories from season 3 very unceremoniously and essentially closed them with the season 3 finale. So just because season 3 did have these theme that is no insurance that season 6 will continue on this or pick it up again. Though it is rather striking how many season 3 elements and callbacks episode 100 had. I think it is rather poignant how Mon-El’s coversation with Kara about Lena seems incredibly close to the season 3 conversation where he tells her not telling is a sacrifice (then again, since this is supposed to mostly be a Mon-El from exactly that time in history, it would also just make practical sense). 

Though I will say, I don’t think that it is as straight and easy as Kara’s identity conflicts being resolved. It’s not as much that the writers dropped this particular theme or topic. They kept on using it, they spin it into a different direction. Kara’s identity as an alien on earth after all is another angle to Kara’s identity conflicts. As is when Alex gets her memory wiped. Even the conflict with Lena in season 5 is also a conflict about identity and of duty versus personal relationships. All of Red Daughter (even though that is another story that was handled badly) just screams about being an identity story (who are you really, who are you when X is removed). But it is possible that the writers consider this particular facet of Kara’s identity conflict (earth versus Argo) as closed. It happened. It is done. Kara chose earth and Alex (Kara Danvers is my favorite person, My whole life is here,  Balancing Kara and being a hero, that’s…That’s who I am,  everything that makes me me is here., This is my home.). It’s just surprising then that those scenes still play out so melancholy. The melancholy is even still there in the sister scene. 

This is the face Kara makes when she says that this is her home and that things will be fine. (really makes me wonder what the scene directions for this scene were for the actresses)

(especially if you compared that with the smiles and the loving expression in her eyes at the end of episode 100 which also ends with Kara reaffirming her dedication to Alex and J’onn

It’s thematically a very similar scene, but it doesn’t play out with the kind of melancholy that is there in the end of season 3 scenes) 

There is nothing wrong with Kara embracing earth over Argo and being a Kryptonian. But if she does, shouldn’t it be a joyous occasion? A happy, life affirming choice, for all the people she loves on earth? 

Instead the fact that Kara looks melancholy when she makes this choice makes it feel unfinished, like a compromise. Just like Mon-El returning to the Legion doesn’t feel like a triumph, him going where he belongs and wants to be, it feels like a sacrifice he is making. 

Those choices feel unhappy and that’s why they are bad. Not because choosing earth is inherently bad, not because choosing the Legion is bad. 

If they wanted this choice to be something final and happy, there are so many ways that could have played out differently. It could have been, I don’t know, Alex, Lena and James being in danger in the final episode and Kara has to decide between saving them and going ahead with Mon-El and Alura. Maybe Mon-El and Alura encourage her to go, they will be fine, they have powers. Kara rushes off to save her human friends and later Alura tells Kara she can tell Kara’s heart is here with her friends and loved ones, encourages her to stay here and assures her that Alura and Argo are fine without her. 

Instead it feels like the writers refused to break with the original themes of season 3, but then refused to follow them up (or at least this particular thread, even if Mon-El was gone, either by his choice or theirs, the needs of Argo versus the needs of earth could have been a theme they continue, but maybe they just felt it didn’t fit with the ideas they had for the next season). 

The side effect of not breaking in a more final way, closing them in a more final way makes those threads feel really unfinished, like it is a choice “for now” but maybe there will be a better compromise in future, makes the shift away from those threads feel really harsh. The transition would have been smoother if Mon-El had at least gotten a few mentions and maybe Alura would have gotten a few small guest appearances, rather than Mon-El getting basically no mentions and Alura getting only mentions. 

[kittinoir]

Phantoms Ch. 8

Read on Ao3

It had been hours since the fight at the Louvre and Marinette’s hands refused to stop trembling. Not from the fight, or the adrenaline, but because of him. She could swear she could still feel the phantom touch of his thumb, gliding over her wrist bone, the echo of his voice in her chest, the press of his shoulder against her cheek. 

It was torture, these glimpses of things she could never have.

But she was stronger now. Strong enough, to tell him the truth she’d seen. Strong enough to keep him at arms length. Strong enough to say goodbye. 

So why wouldn’t her hands stop shaking?

“You ok, girl?”

Marinette glanced up to see Alya looking at her fingers, her brow furrowed. 

“Not really,” Marinette said, pushing down the urge to lie and brush it off as nothing. Honesty had become their new policy that first night Alya had stayed over and the truth had come pouring out - every insane detail, every excuse, every action explained. Every thing she could remember. And at the end of it, she’d sworn to never lie to her best friend again. “But I’m not really ready to talk about it.”

Not yet. Not until Adrien knew first.

Even if he didn’t feel that way about her - not now that he knew ‘his Lady’ was just his friend.

For the best, she told herself. It was for the best. 

But it didn’t make her feel any better. 

“I’m here for you,” Alya said, gently squeezing Marinette’s fingers. “We all are,” she added quietly.

Marinette glanced behind them at the group of girls that had arrive for their biweekly sleepover. Rose was braiding Juleka’s hair, away from her face for once, while Alix painted a new pair of roller skates. Kagami and Mylene had yet to arrive, and Chloe and Sabrina were running late. No surprise there. 

“I know,” Marinette whispered. “Amazingly.”

“There’s not a single one of us who wouldn’t have done the same thing,” Alya said, waving the words away. “Besides, it’s not like you didn’t try to warn me. And how many times did you do me favours as LB when you didn’t have to? Those interviews, the shout outs? You were always my best friend, Marinette, I just didn’t always know it. If anything, I’m the one who didn’t - ”

“Hey.” Marinette put a hand on Alya’s shoulder, stopping her. “Let’s agree to stop apologizing, ok? We’ve both done things we’re not proud of, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other…right?”

“Of course,” Alya said, pulling her friend into a hug. “Deal.”

“Ugh. If this is what I’m in for, I’m going home.”

Marinette pulled away to see Chloe coming up through the trap door as Sabrina pulled her up. 

“We’ll spare you,” Alya said drily.

“Glad you could make it,” Marinette added with genuine warmth.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Sabrina said, “Especially now that…” She traced the clip in her hair with a finger and Ziggy popped out of her purse to grin.

“Speaking of,” Alix said, “Is it safe for them to…?”

“Sure,” Marinette said. “They know how to be careful.”

As if on cue, Tikki, Pollen, Trixx, Ziggy, Fluff, Daizzi, and Roaar burst out of their hiding places and swirled up to Marinette’s bed as they cheered.

“Remember…” Marinette called after them, unable to stop herself.

“If your parents knock, play hide and seek,” Daizzi chirped.

“Hide and seek?” Juleka asked with a smirk.

Marinette shrugged, a small blush warming her cheeks. “It seemed to be the only way to get them to actually hide.”

“Here.” Chloe handed Marinette what looked like a bag of cookies from her own bakery as Alya and Sabrina drifted over to the others. “A hostess gift.”

“Uh, you didn’t have to,” Marinette said with a short laugh. “But thanks.”

“I did, actually,” Chloe said with a sniff. “It’s rude not to. I thought about getting something else, but this is the best bakery in Paris. Seemed like a waste to go anywhere else.”

Marinette blinked, but took the compliment in stride. She’d learned the hard way that acknowledging those comments was a great way to make sure they stopped coming.

“Can I get you anything?” Marinette offered. She didn’t know how to act around this girl, how to be friends with her. Chloe had turned her nose up at her so often in the past, but she wasn’t doing that now.

“I’m fine,” Chloe said, but she leaned in. “Did you you talk to him?”

For a second, Marinette’s heart stopped beating. “Wh…what?”

“Luke,” Chloe huffed, rolling her eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t throw away that opportunity after I practically gift wrapped it for you.”

“Oh.” Marinette grit her teeth, desperately trying to convince herself that strangling Chloe for the heart attack would not improve their relationship. “It’s Luka. And yes. Yes, I did, thanks.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What did he say?” Chloe demanded. “Was it as awful as you thought it would be?”

Yes. It had been. Every bit as awful as she’d thought it would be, and worse. Hearing her future out loud had been so much worse.

But it was real now, and she could deal with it. She would deal with it.

“He was really nice,” Marinette said instead. “Very understanding.”

“That made it worse, didn’t it?” Chloe said with a sigh. “I get it.”

She would get it, Marinette suddenly realized. Probably more than anyone else. The girl who lashed out at everyone, who pushed everyone away - how much of that was to see who would finally snap, finally yell back, finally treat her like a person instead of a doll? Was that why Chloe had treated her so badly for so long? Because she felt like she was finally getting what she deserved when Marinette pushed back?

“I took advantage of him,” Marinette admitted. “I don’t feel like I deserve to just be let off the hook.”

“I can’t even believe I’m doing this,” Chloe said, “But you didn’t ‘take advantage of him’; you tried to move on and be happy with someone else. It’s not the same thing.”

“But I knew I didn’t feel the same way.

“So you’re not even allowed to try?” Chloe demanded. “He wasn’t a distraction, he wasn’t some toy you threw away when you got bored, was he?”

“Of course not,” Marinette said with a frown. 

“Well, then?” Chloe said. “What were you supposed to do, be miserable and alone? Wallow?”

Marinette couldn’t believe she was about to say this to Chloe of all people, but even with her new honesty policy with Alya, there was no one else to say it to. “No one’s mad at me. Not even Adrien.”

“Didn’t you literally just tell Alya no more apologies?”

Marinette flushed. “How long were you standing there anyway?”

“Long enough,” Chloe said with a smirk. “Now come on, no more moping. Did you ever think that maybe there’s nothing you need to be forgiven for?”

“The apologies thing was more for her than me,” Marinette protested, but Chloe threw a look over her shoulder that brooked no arguments as she pulled Marinette over to the other girls.

And the longer Marinette sat with them, the more she thought Chloe might be right, a thought she didn’t think she’d ever have. It wasn’t that their friendships seemed unchanged; it was that they seemed stronger, brighter with the truth out in the open, happy to share the secret and the burden.

Even Chloe seemed to strike up and tentative conversation with Rose and Mylene, who had come in with Kagami just a few minutes after Chloe and Sabrina had arrived. 

Warmth bloomed in Marinette’s chest and her cheeks hurt from smiling. She recognized love when she felt it, but it was nice, for once, to feel it unencumbered by the weight of keeping it to herself. 

“I’m glad this happened,” Kagami said suddenly over the group.

Individual conversations trailed off, hands stilled, as everyone turned to look at her, but Kagami didn’t even blink as she surveyed the group.

“Not the akumas,” she clarified without flinching under the weight of a dozen eyes on her. “This. You. All of you. I’ve never really had people I’ve wanted to...share things with.”

“I’ve…always been afraid,” Mylene chimed in. She blushed. “Of…pretty much everything. I thought I’d be too afraid to ever use a Miraculous, but being able to do something, having some control…having you guys around me. For the first time in my life, I’m not afraid any more.”

“I’ve never been a part of anything,” Chloe said suddenly, and then all eyes were on her. “My own family wanted nothing to do with me. As long as I’m happy or content, they consider their job done, and so I’ve always pushed everyone away. Before they could leave.”

“You treated all of us horribly,” Kagami said, her eyes narrowing. “Even your own supposed ‘bff’.”

Chloe flushed. “I didn’t say I was proud of it.”

“You kind of acted that way,” Alya said, the harsh words just barely softened by an apologetic shrug.

“At the time… I was…” Chloe admitted. The words came haltingly, as though dragged from some dark, horrible, lonely place inside her. “I thought I was better than everyone, and I needed to make sure everyone knew it. I needed to make sure my parents knew it. I needed them to know that I was…worth it.”

“And now?” Rose asked, a small smile on her lips, as though she knew Chloe’s future was brighter than her past had been.

Chloe looked up at the group of them, but her eyes stayed clear. “I’m embarrassed. I behaved…horribly. It’s not an excuse. I’m not saying I deserve to have it all forgiven or forgotten, but… I don’t want that to be my life anymore. It was too lonely. Even when I won, I felt empty. I know that some of you…most of you…probably don’t want to be my friend. All I’m asking for is to be allowed a place here…with all of you. To help fix what I broke so many times.”

Marinette didn’t blink as she felt all the eyes swivel to her. She tried not to see them. It wasn’t her choice to make any more, and she suspected Chloe needed more than just her say-so.

“Everyone gets a say,” Marinette said, finally meeting her friends eyes. “A vote. Right here, right now.”

“Not privately?” Sabrina said, glancing up at Chloe as she bit down on her thumb nail.

“If you can’t say it to Chloe’s face, you shouldn’t get a vote,” Marinette said. “But we’re a team. We need to be able to trust and rely on each other.”

“Then I vote yes,” Rose chirped, bouncing a little on her heels. “Chloe’s done amazing so far, and she’s an awesome spokesperson for the team!”

“Sure,” Juleka mumbled. “Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Well, it’s a no from me,” Alix said without missing a beat. “We all have issues, but you’re the only one who took them out on everyone else.”

“Fair enough,” Chloe said, meeting Alix head on. Marinette flinched, but she didn’t miss Alix’s appreciative smirk as Chloe took the criticism in stride.

“I say yes,” Alya said. For the first time, Chloe actually looked surprised. “For what you did for Marinette.” Chloe frowned, but Mylene chimed in before she could ask any questions.

“I say no.” Mylene fisted her hands on top of her knees, ducking her face. “It’s not that I don’t want Chloe to have a Miraculous, it’s just what Marinette said - I don’t think I can trust her. I want to, but…”

“It’s fine,” Chloe said, saving Mylene from her rambling. “I get it.”

“I also vote no,” Kagami said. Marinette couldn’t say she was entirely surprised. Kagami didn’t elaborate, and Marinette supposed she didn’t have to. What else was there to say that she hadn’t already said?

“I vote yes,” Sabrina said as she regarded her best friend. “Chloe is…a lot of things. Some of you think she treated me badly, but it’s my friendship, too. I could have changed it at any time. I was her friend because I wanted to be, not because she made me. Still am.”

For the first time, Chloe actually looked a little misty, but it cleared quickly. 

“Then it’s decided,” Marinette said. 

“Not yet,” Kagami interrupted, her voice a blade. “You have to vote. It could cause a tie.”

“I made my choice a long time ago,” Marinette said. “Chloe stays as long as she wants to. Now that that’s been decided, if anyone has a problem with that, they’re welcome to leave - after they returned their Miraculous.”

Kagami glared but remained silent. Alix simply shrugged, and Mylene wouldn’t look up, but no one left.

“Who wants to see the submissions I’ve gotten on the Ladyblog for identity guesses!” Alya said, whipping out her phone. “Someone got one riii-iiight!”

Marinette could have kissed her friend for changing the subject as the girls nearly fell over themselves to peek at Alya’s phone screen. 

“I thought ‘no more apologies’ was the theme of the night?” Marinette said as she switched seats with Sabrina to sit beside Chloe.

“It wasn’t supposed to be an apology,” Chloe muttered. “It just kind of happened. I just meant to…participate. I’ve never really had friends before. I’m not really sure how this all…works.”

And for a moment, Marinette was no longer in her room, but standing outside her school, her flat so close but so far away as the rain poured down and a boy in white said the exact same thing. 

“You’ll figure it out,” Marinette said softly.

“I’ve never had to figure anything out by myself before,” Chloe groaned, dropping her chin into her upturned palm. “Couldn’t I figure out something easier first, like Hawk Moth’s identity or something?”

For once, Marinette actually laughed. “If you do, let me know. Adrien and I have been trying to do that for years.”

“Seriously?” Chloe said, frowning. “You have zero clues? Not even one? A suspect, even?”

“I mean I’ve looked over the submissions to the Ladyblog from time to time,” Marinette said, referencing the submission box Alya had made for Hawk Moth’s identity after she’d been akumatized a second time. “None of them have ever panned out. Although…”

Marinette felt the blush work its way across her cheeks as a dim memory resurfaced.

“Although what?” Chloe demanded, sitting up.

“At one point I thought it was Gabriel Agreste.”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “Adrien’s dad?” she demanded, just barely managing to keep her voice down. “What on earth made you suspect him?”

Marinette shrugged. “He had the book. The guardian’s manual. Master Fu said the peacock and butterfly Miraculous were lost at the same time, and that whoever had one probably had the other.”

Chloe blinked. “Um, ok. Pretty solid evidence. So…why’d you change your mind?”

“Gabriel was akumatized shortly after we began to suspect him.” Marinette flinched as her eyebrows shot up. “That’s why Chat Noir was so upset that day. I’d just told him his dad might be…uuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhh.”

Marinette buried her face in her hands but the images wouldn’t stop playing against her closed eye lids.

“You told Adrien you thought his dad was a supervillain?” Chloe laugh, and for once, Marinette found herself giggling along with her. “I can’t believe you’re still friends.”

“Well, like I said,” Marinette said, lifting her face, “He got akumatized by Hawk Moth shortly after. Hawk Moth has to be transformed to control the akuma. And if two kwamis were living in the same house, I think they’d notice. Besides, I’ve seen them in two places at once. So it’s back to square one, with no leads and no answers.”

Chloe nodded and didn’t object when Marinette was dragged into the conversation with the other girls. Ladybug and Chat Noir might have ruled out Gabriel as a suspect, but as she watched the other girls squawk over the Ladyblog, one thought would not leave Chloe alone:

 Hawk Moth and Gabriel Agreste were not the only ones who’d been seen in two places at once.

[ur-not-reddie]

Where Have You Been?

a/n: thank you all so much for 2.2k!!! to celebrate, here’s some reddie :)

pairing: reddie

word count: 1689

warnings: underage drinking, smut

aged to 19

-

Eddie walks up the front porch steps to Beverly’s house. He’s not inside yet and he can already feel the bass of the music vibrating through his chest. His hand grabs the cool metal of the door handle and he steps inside, being met with a sea of sweaty, drunk college kids. Eddie looks around, not recognizing most of these people. He pushes his way through and makes it to the kitchen where all the drinks are. Eddie grabs a red Solo Cup and starts pouring vodka in it, mixing it with Sprite. He turns around, ready to go find Beverly when he meets eyes with someone he hasn’t seen in over a year.

It’s Richie.

Richie and Eddie lock eyes for what seems like forever. Eddie feels his heart pounding expeditiously in his chest. He grips his cup tightly as he looks over Richie, not believing what he’s seeing. Eddie looks next to Richie and notices a girl standing next to him. She’s blonde and skinny, Eddie would find her attractive if he didn’t like boys. Eddie then feels tears prick at his eyes as all the memories of him and Richie start flooding back. He turns on his heels and walks away, still trying to find Beverly.

The thing is, Richie and Eddie dated about a year ago before they broke up due to Richie spending time with his female lab partner. Eddie started to grow paranoid that Richie was catching feelings for her and Richie kept denying it, which is the truth. Richie eventually left Eddie at the end of last summer, it’s November now. Eddie did notice that the girl Richie brought to the party wasn’t the girl Eddie was worried about and that hurts him even more. Richie seems to be moving on so easily while Eddie is stuck in this lovesick trap.

You see, Eddie is still very much in love with Richie and would take him back in a heartbeat, even though Richie brought a different girl with him to the party. Eddie feels hurt and confused. Why would Richie break things off with him and then not come alone to the party? Why wouldn’t he take Eddie back like Richie said he would after they broke up, giving Eddie false hope.

Eddie tries his best to shake off his sorrow and keeps looking for the redheaded girl. He finally spots her, calling out her name. Beverly makes her way over to Eddie and greets him.

“Hey! You made it!” Beverly says in a perky tone, pulling the small male into a warm embrace. Eddie hugs her back before pulling away and taking three big gulps of his drink causing Beverly to chuckle. “You better slow down there or you’re gonna puke,” Eddie pulls the cup away from his mouth, exhaling before speaking.

“Do you know that Richie is here?” Eddie asks, his tone desolate.

“Yeah,” Beverly says with a sigh, also taking a sip of her drink.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I wanted you to come. I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t have come and I wanted you to, so I didn’t tell you.” the short-haired girl says truthfully. Eddie sighs heavily as he downs the rest of his beverage which makes Beverly stare at him with wide eyes. Eddie looks at her, frowning.

“I’m getting another drink,” Eddie says as he starts to walk away.

“Eddie!” Beverly shouts after him, but he ignores her and makes his way back to where all the drinks are.

Eddie mixes himself another one and drinks half of it before refilling it again. He’s all alone in the kitchen, lost in his thoughts when a voice startles him and snaps him back to reality. He turns around and is met with Richie again, but this time he’s alone. Eddie’s not sure what to say, so he just stands there awkwardly.

“Hi,” Richie says with a half grin, stepping closer to Eddie which causes Eddie to take a few steps back. Eddie just stares at Richie, not knowing what to say or do - he’s frozen. A part of him wants to run, but the bigger part wants to stay. “Do you mind if we go somewhere and talk?” Eddie swallows the lump in his throat before nodding his head. Richie smiles widely as he leads the way to an empty room and Richie locks the door.

“S- so, what do you want to talk about?” Eddie asks in a shaky tone.

“I just think we need to clear things up,” Richie bites his lip nervously. Eddie cackles bitterly at Richie’s words.

“I think you made it pretty clear after you broke up with me… If you’re here to try and explain yourself, I don't want to hear it.” Eddie crosses his arms as he narrows his eyes slightly at Richie. Even over a year later, Eddie is still heartbroken as ever. “You really hurt me, Richie. You really, really did…” Eddie can feel tears stinging at his eyes again.

“I know,” Richie says softly, his voice culpable. “But I’m here to apologize, okay? I’m sorry, I really am.” Richie sighs again as he steps even closer to Eddie, Eddie backing up until his back hits the wall. “I never stopped loving you. I was upset and hurt that you doubted me and thought I was liking my lab partner, but it was never true. I broke it off because I was angry and hurt that you didn’t believe me. But I regret that decision and I want you back so fucking badly.”

That’s when Richie leans down and plants his lips on Eddie’s softly. Eddie is shocked, unable to comprehend what’s happening for a moment. After reality sets in, Eddie kisses back, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck. The kiss starts off slow and gentle, but heats up rather quickly. Richie slips his tongue inside Eddie’s mouth, exploring as his hands slide up and under Eddie’s shirt. Eddie hums at that as he tangles his fingers in the base of Richie’s hair.

Richie starts kissing along Eddie’s jaw and down his neck which causes soft moans to fall past Eddie’s lips. Richie takes off Eddie’s shirt and lets it fall to the floor. He then begins sucking and biting dark bruises all along Eddie’s neck and collarbones. Eddie’s moans grow louder as he tilts his head to the side. He tugs at the hem of Richie’s shirt and Richie breaks contact with Eddie’s skin as he takes off his own shirt. Eddie eyes Richie’s toned abdomen, he definitely missed this sight.

Richie picks up Eddie, crashing their lips back together as he lays Eddie down on the bed. Richie’s hands slide down Eddie’s sides then landed on the button of his jeans. Richie undoes them and pulls Eddie’s jeans down his legs and onto the floor, right next to his shirt.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you.” Richie breathes out as he rests his forehead against Eddie’s.

“I’ve missed you too,” Eddie smiles as he puts his fingers back in Richie’s hair. Richie’s lips form into a smile, matching Eddie’s.

Richie then takes off his jeans as well. He goes back to kissing Eddie roughly before yanking Eddie’s boxers off. Richie shoves his fingers in the other male’s mouth, telling him to suck on them. Eddie does as told, swirling his tongue around and sucking on Richie’s fingers like his life depends on it.

“Good,” Richie says with a growl as he takes his fingers out of Eddie’s mouth.

Richie travels his hand down and stops at Eddie’s ass, groping and kneading it before he sticks a finger inside of Eddie. Eddie moans loudly as Richie starts to pump his finger. After a bit, Richie adds a second finger and starts pumping them ever faster. Eddie grips the sheets tightly, nearly squealing as Richie hits Eddie’s sweet spot. Richie adds a third finger, really spreading Eddie open. Richie pumps his fingers at a rough pace, bringing Eddie close to the edge before pulling his fingers out.

“Fuck!” Eddie breathes out, throwing his head back as he pants heavily. He lays back against the bed, taking a deep breath as he looks Richie in the eyes. “I was so close,” Eddie whines.

“I know,” Richie says with a sultry smirk. He spits in his hand, rubbing it all around his length before lining himself up with Eddie’s entrance and he starts to push in.

“O- oh! Fuck, R- Richie!” Eddie throws his head back, wrapping his arms around Richie’s neck.

Richie’s thrusts start off slow and deep until Eddie begs for Richie to go faster. Richie obliges and starts thrusting faster and harder, moaning into Eddie’s ear. Eddie scrapes his nails down Richie’s back, leaving dark red lines. Richie winces at the pain, finding it pleasurable as he hits Eddie in his sweet spot once again. Richie keeps at it, striking it over and over causing Eddie to let out high pitched moans.

“I- I’m close!” Eddie manages to say through his moans.

“Go on, baby, cum for me.” Richie orders seductively in Eddie’s ear.

After a few more harsh thrusts, Eddie cums in between his and Richie’s stomachs. And after a few moments or so, Richie riding out Eddie’s high before Richie cums inside of Eddie, Eddie humming at the feeling. Richie’s hips eventually come to a halt and he slowly pulls out of Eddie, laying next to him. Eddie scoots closer to Richie, laying his head on his chest.

“God, I missed that.” Richie chuckles softly.

“Me too,” Eddie giggles along. Richie strokes Eddie’s back softly as they lay in comfortable silence. After a while, Eddie breaks it. “So what does this make us?” Eddie asks, hesitating.

“What do you want us to be?” Richie asks, peering down at the smaller boy in his arms.

“I-” Eddie stops himself, thinking hard before talking. “I want us to be together again.”

“Okay,” Richie smiles. “Then we’re back together.” Eddie looks up at Richie, his face beaming. Eddie cuddles close to Richie before asking to go for another round, and so they did.

a/n: i hope you all enjoyed this little imagine. if you want a part two to this, please let me know! i’m willing to add more parts to this. anyway, thanks for reading!

[doritopaw101]

Arc1, book 2: Chapter 15

Icefire circled the apprentice, their shoulder bleeding slightly. He did his best not to take out all of his anger on his apprentice.

Mousefur's patrol had been attacked by Brokentail's followers, Sunnypaw had been attacked and was still knocked out.

To say Icefire was pissed was an understatement of the season. Chestnutclaw wasn't any better, the tom had to be held down from trying to hunt down the rouges. He wanted blood but he knew he had to be there for his kits.

What chilled him the most was that from Cranewing's own words "Brokentail was among them". He kept a closer grip on Cloudpaw and Bearpaw and did everything he could to make sure Violetpaw and Flamepaw were safe, he didn't care much for Marshstar's threats as he crossed the border each time.

They had stayed with their sister for so long and only moved when Thymeroot pushed them out. Sunnypaw was nearly killed and only survived because Mousefur had lead the rouges away. They had sent search parties to search for Mousefur, dead or alive but hadn't been able to find her for five days.

Icefire went alone to the city found Snake and Luna and managed to find Mousefur in a trash can. It was clear she had been beaten and raped, Luna said it was shocking that she managed to drag herself into the can.

All of the patrol was dealing with injures to some degree. Ebonyshade was dealing with a bad belly wound, Brackenfur was dealing with some bad cuts and bruises, Ebonyshade was dealing with a broken paw, Frostbite was the only who didn't have such serious injures aside from a few light wounds.

Chocolate had recovered after a good rest and meal as did Duskthorn. Chocolate would've left earlier if not for the disaster that happened when Tiger-roar realized they were siblings. Nightshade looked ready to kill Chocolate while Miststrike didn't look pleased but not too hostile like her littermates. Chocolate was a little scared to leave by himself since Nightshade looked like she would kill him and he couldn't really blame him especially since he found out that Chocolate was expecting kits, Bluestar offered him a place in the clan and Chocolate said he'll think about it.

Icefire brought Duskthorn back to Shadowclan the next day, snide comments were shared as they did and a long overdue apology.

Raveneye had approached Bluestar about the rogues and about Tiger-roar and Nightshade. They'd been distinct from the clan lately, even their kin, Icefire had joined in on the concerns but Bluestar shut them down saying they were being ridiculous.

-Flashback-

"Icefire" Tiger-roar called

He didn't look up from Sunnypaw as she continued eating her first meal since she woke up "What?"

"We're going on patrol, join me" the two-colored deputy mewed

"It isn't a request, it's a demand" he heard Redtail hissed

Icefire licked Sunnypaw softly "I'll be back later, call Cloudpaw or Raveneye if you need anything"

His daughter nodded

Icefire followed the deputy out of camp, his fur slightly tense. The more they walked they more Icefire felt uneasy. Further and further away from camp, where less cats would be to hear anything.

"Where are we going?" he asked

"You are a special cat you know that Icefire"

"Special isn't the word that's normally used to describe me but go on" Icefire said coolly, curling their tail over their paws

The split tabby turned to face him, they were near the boundary to the houses and the city "Times are changing Icefire, Starclan sets many things for the clans, good or bad" he started "I see it a chance for greatness, not just for me but for others as well"

Icefire hummed

"I have a plan Icefire, for great change for Thunderclan and all the clans. I want to know if you'll be there for me when the time comes"

"What plan?" he asked, his voice harsher than he wanted it to be.

"I wasn't lying when I said you're special cat Icefire, we're both special in that regard, Starclan has spoken that"

'He knows about the prophecy' Icefire stiffened

"I see you caught on fast" Tiger-roar purred "I've known since before you set a paw in camp, Starclan said the white fire: we are both cats who could fit that are we not?"

Icefire couldn't say he was wrong, he fit the prophecy in the name sense while Tiger-roar fit it in his appearance, a perfect clash of ice and fire.

"What's the plan Tiger-roar?" he repeated

"Bluestar needs to go, it's only a matter of time before she ends up with time disease"

"Time disease?"

"Have you every heard of Goosefeather?"

"No" he lied "never heard of him"

"He's Bluestar's uncle, he went mad and caused many awful things for the clan. Some cats cheered when he died in fact"

He saw Goosefeather's expression to know that Tiger-roar was telling the truth. He chilled him slightly to watch the gray speckled tom only nod at the two-colored tabby's words.

"They say time disease passes on through the family line, who knows what Bluestar could do if she has it"

"We don't know that for sure Tiger-roar, Bluestar may be harsh but she's a good and fair leader"

"And yet, she doesn't do much to cats who mock you" the tabby replied "Cats who say you deserved what you got, say you're inferior because of your bloodline"

Icefire dug his claws into the ground and their eyes narrowed.

"Don't you want respect Icefire, don't you want those cats to suffer like they make you?" he placed one of his large paws on Icefire's back, running soft but firm lines down it

"I do" Icefire found himself saying "I really really do" the thought of spilling Seedspots or Lionheart's blood made him curl with delight

"Then join us, me and Nightshade" Tiger-roar said, he pulled Icefire closer "There's going to be an attack in two days, I have Brokentail's followers and a few rouges under my and Nightshade's control"

"What about Brokentail?" Icefire asked "Is he with you all?"

Tiger-roar sighed "Unfortunately, being blind didn't stop him from finding us and Dewflare didn't help matters"

Icefire curled his lip "Dewflare"

Tiger-roar smirked, he placed a paw under Icefire's chin making him meet his gaze "If all goes well Icefire, you can kill them yourself"

-Flashback ends-

"You have a bigger destiny than what he can offer" Redtail hissed, his tail held high "You know this Icefire"

"He does know truths Icefire" Spottedleaf added

Icefire ignored the torties in favor of striking Maplepaw and Shrikepaw was a quick shot. Spottedleaf actually started to talk to him for the first time in moons, not she asked his questions.

They've been training Maplepaw the same way they did Cinderfreeze. Maplepaw was just like Cinderfreeze, eager to learn and took to battle training easily. He brought his kits into the training sessions whenever they were free or at night. Cloudpaw was using Bluestar's teachings well with how quick his blows were. He was most concerned with Bearpaw's progress since she said she didn't have any battle training since she started, not on his watch.

He never wanted to drag Voletail so much and Bluestar to some extent. They would need as much training for the events to come.

They saw Maplepaw limp slightly, panting but her blue gaze looked determined as well as a flash of stubbornness.

A wicked smirk appeared on their face. "Try again Maplepaw"

Whitethroat shook the last of the pine needles from his tail. He drew a paw to get the pine needles out of his ears but he felt a tongue lick his white-tipped ears. He flinched back quickly and his breathing quickened.

He felt paws around him, a soothing voice mewing softly "It's okay love"

Crowcloud

"Thank you"

The black molly only nuzzled him.

"Is papa okay?" he heard Twilightkit ask

"He'll be fine" Crowcloud replied

"Where's-"

"Darkhollow is in the warriors den, Burdockpaw is on patrol, Garlickit and Sloekit are with Dawncloud, and Dark-kit and Hollylock-kit are with Darkflower"

Whitethroat felt himself relax a little, his breathing slowing down.

"Make sure if you see the rouges, chase them off" Marshstar called to a leaving patrol, her voice sounded proud and confident. It's better than what's its been for a the past three days. She started a fight with Thunderclan at the gathering and started a border fight, got worse when it was found out that Brokentail broke out.

He asked his mother what was wrong at times but she either ignored the question or change the subject.

He would've let it go if not for the conversation he heard her and Palecloud had yesterday:

-Flashback-

Whitethroat had been carrying last two of the frogs when he heard Marshstar snap "Watch your tongue"

He dropped his frogs and silently padded over. He saw Palecloud was sitting, head hanging in his usual manner. Marshstar was standing tall, her tail was lashing, the flower necklace she wore around her neck was slightly rocking back and forth.

Whitethroat remembered wanting to get flowers but Palecloud told him not to, he would give the flowers. Palecloud got a flower that summed up Marshstar's leadership for Shadowclan, he got a Protea, king. KIng meant transformation and change as well as daring and resourcefulness while Protea meaning courage and diversity.

"I'm just saying Marshstar, just because we smelled them doesn't mean Thunderclan is sheltering them" the white and gray tom looked tired "Bluestar wouldn't want those foxhearts in her territory let alone her camp"

"Bluestar can be unpredictable, I don't know what she wouldn't and would want" Marshstar retorted

"Hissing and attacking isn't the solution Marshstar" Palecloud mewed with a sniff "we have just stopped being at war with Thunderclan when he dethroned Brokentail we don't need to start anything with no good reason"

"Brokentail escaped mind you and we have no idea where he is, he could be in Thunderclan right now" Silverstar hissed and looked away

"Letting an ex leader who the leader knows raped one of her clanmates and had his goons rape the other in her camp, does that sound like something any reasonable leader would do?" Palecloud countered, his healer flowers shaking and his bone necklace rattled "You're paranoid Marshstar and you know it"

Marshstar didn't respond

"It's because you only got five lives instead of nine"

Marshstar snapped her head to look at Palecloud "Shut up, Starclan can go fuck themselves for denying me, 'it was Battle for the Star' they said that's a load of fox-dung if I ever heard it"

"I know Marshstar, I was there"

-Flashback ends-

Whitethroat was pushed out of his thoughts when Badgerfang nudged him.

"How bad you feel?"

"I think I'm good for now" he replied "I'm going for a walk, clear my head"

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Badgerfang asked

"Yeah"

"Are you sure?" Crowcloud added, her tail curled around Twilightkit and the young crow she received earlier this moon. Ravenkit would receive a little raven too when of age.

"No patrols reported the rouges in the area" Whitethroat stated "I won't be out long"

He closed his eyes as he padded through the camp entrance. The breeze of the wind calmed him, his nerves at ease for the moment. He didn't know where he was going but he just needed to walk without others hovering over him.

So he didn't sleep much, he was fine. So he was addicted on catmint at times, he was fine. He has a good relationship with his kits and the clan was free from Brokentail, it was all fine.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Icefire yawned, watching the sun climbing the trees. He had spent the night with Morningflower as well as bonding with Gorsepaw, Brairpaw, and Quailpaw, they often call him dad times. He loved those three so much.

Icefire shook himself from his thoughts "Tiger-roar wants me to send Cloudpaw and Maplepaw on a solo hunting mission today" he mewed to Raveneye

The lean medicine cat looked up in surprise from his herb sorting "That's early isn't it? They've barley been an apprentices, if anything Swiftpaw and Lynxpaw should be getting that"

Icefire shrugged "Tiger-roar thinks they're ready. Bearpaw, Sunnypaw, and Rosepaw are having one too, He told me to follow them and see how they do, anyway. If your free would you like to come and help? I'll need help with watching two apprentices"

Tiger-roar had been busy that morning, sending out one patrol with Leopardstorm leading to renew the scent markings along the Riverclan boundary and another with Sandstorm to hunt around Snakerocks, so he neglected to tell Icefire where Maplepaw should go for her hunting mission. Icefire didn't want to be bothered to remind the deputy, he was planning.

"You both can make for Twolegplace" he mewed to Maplepaw, his tail laying on Cloudpaw's back "Then you won't get in the way of the patrols. You two won't see me or Raveneye but We'll be watching you. We'll meet you by the twoleg fence"

Cloudpaw nudged him "Tommy? Princess? Luna? Scourge? Can I see them?"

"If we see them there you may talk" Icefire mewed. His siblings honestly unless in Bloodclan never stay in the same area for too long. Princess and Luna were in Bloodclan while Tommy was with any group that would take him. Princess was trying to train her remaining kit, Slash into a fierce cat since her siblings either died or were taken by the humans. Scourge wasn't any better, Smoke, Rook, and Leo were killed in a fight with a random group. She was training Quince and Jackel harshly.

"Sweet" Cloudpaw's eyes gleamed, his snowy fur fluffed up in excitement. Maplepaw looked just as excited, her fluffy white tail sticking up with her tail-tip flicking. Icefire remembered doing this with Cinderfreeze, it was a lot of fun and it felt good seeing how far his apprentice had come.

"Off you two go, then" Icefire mewed

"Try to get there by sunhigh" Raveneye added

They watched the apprentices race off toward the tunnel "Pace yourself" he called after them "You've a long way to go!"

Neither apprentice slowed down.

"Apprentices" Raveneye mewed "I'm glad Ashpaw is the calm one"

They were following the apprentices scents, they were strong and mingled with each other.

"How's your kits?" Raveneye asked "Haven't had a chance to talk with them except Cloudpaw"

"Great" Icefire mewed with pride "I've heard that Sunnypaw's tracking skills have improved since she returned to training, Shrikepaw and Rosepaw's fighting skills have improved and Bearpaw has been helping out with the nursery"

"That's great" Raveneye replied "I'm proud to call them my kin"

A flurry of loose feathers told of a caught thrush, and specks of blood on the grass showed that a mouse had fallen to his claws. Not far from Tallpines, Icefire found the spot where Cloudpaw had buried his fresh-kill so he could return for it later. He saw a similar spot where Maplepaw had buried her kill. Impressed that both apprentices were hunting well so early in their training, Raveneye and Icefire put on speed, hoping to catch the two apprentices catching or stalking prey. But before they reached twolegplace he caught sight of Maplepaw racing back along her own scent rail, her fur bristling and a wild light in her eyes.

"Maplepaw!" Icefire raced forward to meet her, his body tingling with fear.

"What happened?" Raveneyes asked

Maplepaw skidded to a halt, her claws scattering pine needles, barley managing avoid a collision with Icefire "Sunnypaw's gone and Fuzzypelt's dead"

Icebelly felt his heart drop and the air grew cold "What?"

"Me and Cloudpaw saw Tiger-roar and Nightshade, and there were some strange cats with him"

"What strange cats?...The rouges" Raveneye said in horror "I knew it!"

"I think so" Maplepaw replied, her fur standing on end "They were huddled together, just on the edge of the trees. I tried to get closer to hear what they were saying, but I was afraid they would see my white tail. So I came to find you"

Icefire wasn't listening he stopped when he heard about Sunnypaw and Fuzzypelt's fate, did Tiger-roar do this?. "Where did you last smell her scent?" he suddenly snapped "Where's Fuzzypelt?"

Maplepaw was about to move when Cloudpaw came into view with Fuzzypelt's corpse. He set the old tom's body down gently.

"Dad!" Raveneye dashed forward, burying his face in Fuzzypelt's fur. The pelt-maker's had been slashed open. He caught the scent of Nightshade in the air and another he couldn't pinpoint.

"Nightshade" he hissed

Raveneye was seething. "I'll kill her" he snarled

"Well you'll have to wait" Maplepaw replied "I just saw a large group of them and they're heading for camp"

Icefire didn't skip a beat "Run!" he ordered "All of you run like you've never before"

He ran with speed he didn't know he had, not checking to see if Cloudpaw and Maplepaw were keeping up. He saw Raveneye race ahead, fear racing off his white spotted pelt.

'He sent out all those patrols this morning' Icefire thought, fighting back panic. 'and he told me to follow Cloudpaw and Maplepaw. He left the clan with barely a warrior to defend it. This was the plan' he didn't know if he should stop or continue 'Do I actually want this?'

Icefire hurtled through the trees, his muscles bunching and stretching as he drove himself on. But when Raveneye and him reached the ravine, he realized that they had not run fast enough. He saw the lats of the rouges disappear into the gorse tunnel.

Launching himself down the steep side of the ravine, with Cloudpaw and Maplepaw scrabbling down behind him, Icefire let out a yowl "Thunderclan! Enemies! Attack!" He hurled himself into the tunnel and at the same moment he heard another yowl from the camp ahead.

"To me, Thunderclan!"

It was the familiar battle cry, but the voice was Tiger-roar's.

He burst into the clearing just as Tiger-roar whirled on the band of rogues, who scattered, yowling, from his attack. The deputy certainly looked as if he were trying to drive enemies from the camp, but Icefire was close enough to see that his long claws were sheathed in his massive paws. Tiger-roar's brave defense was all a sham. He had brought these enemy cats here, but he was cunning enough to conceal his own treachery.

There was no time for any more thought. However they had come here, the rogue cats were now attacking the camp. Icefire turned swiftly to Cloudpaw and Maplepaw.

"Go and find the patrols and tell them to come back" he ordered "Leopardstorm is somewhere along the Riverclan boundary, and Sandstorm went to Snakerocks"

"Yes Icefire, I got Snakerocks" Maplepaw replied

"Riverclan" Cloudpaw added as they both raced back into the tunnel.

Icefire sprang at the nearest rogue, a dark mottled brown tabby , and he raked his claws down his side. The rogue snarled and twisted toward, paws splayed for attack. He tried to pin Icefire down; Icefire's hindpaws pummeled his belly, and rogue broke away howling.

Icefire's scrambled to his paws and crouched with tail lashing and fur bristling as he looked around for another enemy. Outside the entrance to the nursery, Frostbite was wrestling a rogue with a pale gray coat, the two of the rolling over and over as they tried to get a hold with teeth and claws.

Brindleface and Speckletail were fighting against a black cat twice their size. Near the warrior's den, Mousefur dug her front claws into the shoulder of a huge tabby, while her back claws shredded his flank.

He saw Dustpelt and Raveneye brawling with Mudfoot, Raveneye going for the ribes and Dustpelt going for the eyes.

He tried to run to help but he was bowled over by a rogue cat. His flank stung as claws raked down it. Green eyes glared a mouse-length from his own red ones. Icefire bared his fangs and tried to bite down into the enemy's shoulder, but the rogue cat batted him away. Claws ripped into his ear. His belly was exposed and he couldn't twist free. Suddenly his attacker let out a wail and released him. Icefire caught a glimpse of the older apprentice Swiftpaw with his teeth fastened into the rogue's tail; the rogue dragged him through the dust until Swiftpaw released him and the enemy fled.

Panting, Icefire scrambled to his paws "Thanks" he gasped "Well done"

"Done it a lot with Fogtail" Swiftpaw chuckled before racing off to where Frostbite still battled in front of the nursery along with Nettlemist.

The clearing heaved with struggling cats, but as Icefire poised himself to rejoin the fray he realized something that sent an even colder pang of fear along his spine. Where was Bluestar?

In a heartbeat, Icefire realized that he couldn't see Tiger-roar either or Nightshade either. Every instinct told him the plan was close to completion, even the hissing from Goosefeather.

'Save her you fool' he hissed 'This is not the destiny they follow'

"What are you talking about?" he snapped

'You'll see, now save her'

"Icefire, help!" turned and saw Cranewing pinned by Lizardstripe. The older molly dug her claws in the gray molly's chest and her ear was bleeding.

Icefire moved forward and shoved Lizardstripe away. Lizardstripe hissed and swiped at him and he dodged, he winced when he stepped on his faulty leg in his rush "Cranewing, kill her!"

The gray molly didn't hesitate, she bit into the back of Lizardstripe's neck. The older molly gurgled as Cranewing crushed her windpipe.

'Find Bluestar!' Goosefeather and Redtail hissed

He dodged around Willowpelt, who was clinging to the back of a much bigger rogue, her teeth hastened in his ear, and made for Bluestar's den, Leopardstorm falling beside him. To his relief, as he approached the entrance he heard Bluestar mew from inside, "We can worry about that later, Tiger-roar Nightshade. The Clan needs us now"

For a few heartbeats there was no reply. Leoapardstorm looked ready to bolt but was waiting. Then Icefire heard Bluestar's voice again, surprised "Nightshade? Tiger-roar? What are you doing?"

Tiger-roar's snarl answered "Remember us to Starclan, Mother"

"Tiger-roar Nightshade, what is this?" Bluestar's mew was sharper now, edged with rage, not fear. "I'm the leader of your clan, or have you two forgotten that?"

"Not for much longer" Nightshade growled

"I'm going to kill you, and kill you again, As many times as it takes for you to join Starclan forever. It's time for me to lead this Clan!" Tiger-roar declared

Bluestar's answering hiss was suddenly cut short by the sound of paws thudding against the hard floor of the den, followed by dreadful snarling.

[laughing-with-god]

Pen Pal II

Words; 4.6k

“I love you so much that nothing could matter to me- not even you...only my love- not your answer.  Not even your indifference.”

Reincarnation was an interesting theory, you decided.  

It was a philosophy that held the utmost importance upon karma and charity.  In a way, it made sense. If you did something good in a past life, you should be rewarded in the next one with good fortune.  This mindset explained how some of us seem to have been born under the worst circumstances that was only added on by very odd and horrid luck that appeared in the form of people or situations.  While others have the rare ability to just waltz past life without a single hitch to hinder their enjoyment.

You deduced that you must’ve been a very wicked person in the life prior to this one.  

That could be a grand explanation for the awful series of events that have been striked upon you by an outside force whom is hell-bent on making you pay for crimes you weren’t aware you committed.  ‘Yes’, you thought, ‘I must’ve been a devilish person in my past life.’

You were cursed to forever be terrified of the world, your only sibling meant to guide you through life was murdered in front of you, your mother has gone mad and the one person you found comfort in somehow found a way to be worse than what you already knew him to be- a criminal.    

You bitterly chuckled.  

You wished he was a good-for-nothing criminal.

You would have much preferred that over what he truly is.

A serial killer.  

Tuesdays were the worst.  In your rather short and uneventful life, a pattern had formed concerning the second day of the week.  Your sister was murdered on a cloudy Tuesday afternoon. The day you were labelled with a disorder was on a Tuesday morning, right in your own home.  The day your mother had finally broke and yelled atrocious things at you that you’ve always known she thought but never voiced, was on a Tuesday evening.  And the day you discovered the jarring truth about your ‘pal’ was at 2 am while surfing the web on a Tuesday.

You were naive to be giddy at the latest letter you had received.  

Jungkook had said some rather mean things about your mother, however due to your bruised ego and lingering depression caused by the woman’s harsh put down of you; you couldn’t bring yourself to be upset with his insults toward the woman who gave birth to you.  In fact, your heart felt warmed at his protective slandering. For it meant that he was offended on your behalf, that he cared of what you felt and that anyone who disgraced you was harshly judged by the critical eye of your ‘friend’. He took your side in the matter.  Like a loyal ally that you have always wanted on your side for times like this.

He mentioned that he wanted to utilize the option of calls instead of letters.  You had to admit as an old soul that writing letters to a companion was a very vintage and refreshing practice that you had grown fond of.  Childishly, you would picture yourself in a Fitzgerald novel as a lonesome and willowy woman who eagerly awaited the letters of her dear partner who was far far away.  Or maybe off to war. You supposed that reading all those books had made you a romanticist.

But there was something rather intimate about getting to hear someone’s voice despite the miles in between them.  

You wanted to please Jungkook by surprising him with a call.  And more secretly, you wanted to see if his voice matched his face in the picture he gave you or the voice in your head that would recite his letters whenever you read them.  

You imagined it being very gentle and almost musical, like the light buzz of bees on a Spring day, humming around the blooming flowers.  You hoped (and somehow just knew) you were right in this prediction.

But, you needed to find a way to make this possible.  

That’s when you seeked information in the form of the internet.  Although you loved to picture yourself in a Fitzgerald-esque, roaring twenties type of era, you couldn’t deny the usefulness of the current one that you were living in.  

According to the re-search you had gathered, a telephone account had to be set up in order for Jungkook to talk to anyone.  Also, inmates were allowed to make outgoing calls but incoming ones were not allowed. You frowned, this meant that Jungkook had to call you but you couldn’t call him.  The air of surprise was deflated.

However, you did have a role to fulfill.  Only someone from the outside could set up the calling account.  You would have to pay for the ability for Jungkook to call anyone.  

You then went onto the prison’s website and began to fill out the form for the account.  

Name: (Y/n) (M/n) (L/n)

Age: (Age)

D.o.b: (Date of Birth)

Address: (Address)

Relation to Inmate; Friend.

Card Info: (xxx-xxx-xxx)

Phone Number:  (xxx-xxx-xxx)

Prisoner;

You were stunned at the prisoner section of the form.  It wouldn’t allow you to write Jungkook’s name down, instead you had to enter numbers.  You sighed and realized that you had to get Jungkook’s number in order for the system to match him up with the account.  Luckily for you, the info of prisoners was public knowledge for anyone wishing to seek it. You opened another tab to go the the penitentiary’s website and searched for Jungkook’s name.  

A mugshot of your friend popped up. his boyishly handsome face stared almost disinterestedly at the camera, dark and glassy eyes brooding with raven strands of hair revealing his smooth forehead and framing his sharp face that was marked with intense brows, strong Romanian nose and plush berry lips that sat above his cleft chin that marked the ending point of his angular jaw.  The frosty complexion of his skin made the darkness of his features and orangeness of his jumpsuit stand out. You knew he was very good-looking, and it was a shame that he was locked up. You were sure many ladies would be all over him if it weren’t for the fact that he was stuck in an all male prison for a lengthy amount of time.

The top of his head met the 5’10 mark of the background of the mugshot, making you note the height of Jungkook which was a detail you never really thought about before.  He was tall, but most handsome men were.

Below the image was information about him.  You briefly felt as if you were violating privacy, but you consolidated yourself by reminding yourself that you simply needed his number to further the calling process.  It had to be done. Besides, Jungkook was your friend. You were positive that he wouldn’t mind.

Name: Jeon Jungkook

Height: 5’10

Weight: 154 lb

Date of Arrest; June 6th, 2018

Crime: Serial Killing, Multiple Homicides, First Degree Murder, Crimes Against Humanity

ID Number: 65709-303

Your blood ran cold.  

--

You would have made a decent journalist.  

But to be fair, it wasn’t like his crimes wasn’t that well documented.  

He was practically famous.  

A warm cup of joe is all that you had to company you as you began your plunge into the crimes of Jeon Jungkook.  It had required the use of many old news clips, dramatically written articles and even pictures of the vulgar crimes along with court documents and police reports.  Amidst this crazed quest for knowledge that was fueled by a harsh sting of betrayal, a narrative formed from the foggy woodworks. The jagged puzzle pieces of your beloved ‘Jk’ formed, creating an image that you wished to never have witnessed.  

On March 27th, 2016 an innocent woman was murdered.  Her name was Lee Ji-eun and she was a music teacher at a prestigious private high school.  She was found in her office, throat slit from ear to ear and body laying lifelessly across her desk, school papers stained scarlett red in her blood.  The killing shocked the community, she was adored by her classmates, respected by colleagues and admired in her community. No one had a clue on who could’ve committed such a random act of violence.  

On April 16th, 2017 a man called the police due to his missing wife and daughter.  The daughter, Nayeon was found in a field out in the country, throat blue from having been strangled to death.  Her mother was only a few yards away from her, bullet enlodged in the back of her head from being shot execution style.  Nayeon’s father was desperate for justice, but the police had told him that the killer was just too good.

On April 1st, 2018 another girl named Lalisa was found in her room, dead.  Unlike the other crimes, her murder wasn’t a dramatic or gory one. It had appeared that she was poisoned to death.  Up until then, the police had no leads. It wasn’t until the realized that Lalisa’s boyfriend had been missing as well.  He was caught getting in a suspicious vehicle on surveillance camera, only to never be seen again. A vehicle that was traced to Jungkook.  

Jungkook admitted the murders of all three of these girls, along with Nayeon’s mother and Lalisa’s boyfriend.  Although the boyfriend’s body was never found.

He did all of these crimes on Easter.  

The first murder of Lee Ji-eun just so happened to fall on that day.  

But like other serial killers before him, Jungkook formed a habit.  A ritual. A routine.

You noted with distaste how little the motives were discussed.  

Jungkook never told why he killed his victims.  He was silent. Even in the interrogation process, he just admitted that he was indeed the killer.  Nothing else was uttered from his lips. The trial was semi-famous, due to the fact that such a young and handsome man turned out to be a murderer.  People even called him the new Ted Bundy for his aristocratic fall from grace that was the revelation of his sick minded actions. He came from a rich family, was somewhat quiet as a student but still earned high marks.  Someone no one thought could be capable of taking five innocent lives in such a bloodthirsty fashion.

The Easter Bunny was what some struggling news station tried to nickname him in a frenzied act of getting higher viewership rates.  Turns out, the name stuck.

You shut your laptop and stared off into space.  

The five faces of the victims would forever be burned into your memory.  

You just had one question, why?

Why take away these people’s lives as if it were nothing?  What had they ever done to him? It was just so random and it puzzled you.  Jungkook was a smart man, why did he never tell anyone the reasoning for his snap?  Why did he let the press run with guessing motives and possible reasonings instead of putting the victim’s family at rest by telling them the truth?  Did he plan to take it to his grave?

What could those five people have done to make him murder so ruthlessly?  

You gulped down the last of your coffee that was somewhat chilled due to the long passage of time.  

Remorse slid itself over you body, spreading its’ inky and sticky dread until every part of your body was effected.  

You felt dirty.

You had unknowingly created a friendship with the slayer of five lives.  

A psychopath had somehow became your closest buddy.  You had seeked comfort within his sweet words.

Was this how he lured in his other victims as well?

A shudder came next.  

He lied to you.  If you had known all of this from the beginning, there would be no way that you would have tried to reach out to such person.  You fancied yourself a empathic and understanding woman, but this was just something from hell itself.

You stood and decided to take a shower, hoping that scrubbing the invisible stains of guilt would somehow ease your racing mind.  

--

It was a given that you would stop all communication with Jungkook.

You could never even attempt to play as if things were normal after this.  As much as it pained you, you would have to lose a friend.

It would be rather simple, you will stop sending letters and he would catch onto the silence and move on with his own life.  You were sure that he would have more vital concerns in that concrete jungle that was his home. Although you would miss the communication, you valued your conscious more.  

You attempted to fill your time by distracting yourself with mundane things.  You managed to stay away from your front door, not wanting to catch yourself longingly gazing at your mail slot for Jungkook’s letters.  You began binge-watching one of your favorite shows. And when this wasn’t quite enough to divert your mind and heart, you ordered a new novel online.  Reading always made you emerge yourself into other worlds, you would drown yourself into any plot at the moment. Despite not being able to relate to most characters within those free-spirited stories, you still rather bury your head in a book then spend your time thinking of Jungkook and what he was doing.

This lead to another problem.

The drawings.  

Your assumption of him being an artistic soul was indeed spot on.  He sent you three etchings, all done by pencil and depicting of you.  The first one was just a drawing of your selfie, you could tell by the hair-do, pose and outfit.  The second one was just of you, portrait style with eyes staring ahead at any observer and very detailed.  And the third one was of you tapping a pen against your chin, brows scrunched and staring down at your hands that held a piece of paper.  Right next to this image was a side note of ‘this is what I picture when I think of you writing me letters.’

It was almost unbelieveable how good he was at drawing you.  

It was as if he knew your face for years, he created it so well from just having a picture to go off of.  The cross-hatching, the shadowing, the use of texture, the blending and the perfect imagery of every feature on your face.... It was baffling. It was like looking at the lense of someone else’s perception of you.  He clearly thought you were way prettier than you did. The girl he drew was elevated from what your self-esteem would let you think yourself to be. It was so odd….but you couldn’t help but marvel at his works. It was nice of him to draw you, almost intimate.  You wondered how carefully he dissected your picture to be able to draw you in situations that he’s never seen you in.  You never thought you’d say a boy took the time to draw you, but you were flattered.

Too bad you were unable to tell him how impressed you were with such effort.

Too bad you couldn’t study them any further.

You thought about burning them.  Cutting them into millions of pieces.  Throwing them away. Letting them drift in the wind onto some random street below your apartment.

But when you worked up the nerve to initiate any of the acts of destruction, you just couldn’t.  

You may hate the artist behind the creation.  But not the creation itself.

You stored them under your bed, not wanting to spare any thought to Jungkook but also wanting to preserve the art for a later time when your heart wasn’t wounded and a certain serial killer was in your rear view mirror.  

But you couldn’t ignore the killer for as long as you would’ve liked.  

Your book arrived.  And you had to get it,

While doing so, you were faced with three envelopes addressed to you.  From Jungkook.

Your halted your actions for a split second.  It was almost second nature to feel the bubbling excitement and instinct to reach for them.  

But then those deceased five faces flashed before your eyes.  

In the end, you ignored them in favor of retrieving  your freshly purchased book.

But after you laid yourself on your couch and found yourself re-reading the same first paragraph over and over again, you realized that those letters just couldn’t be ignored.  They stubbornly beckoned your attention, a siren’s call demanding your priority. You huffed and set the book down, fixing your gaze towards the entrance of your humble nest, were the letters innocently laid.

Here you were faced with a dilemma.  

Did you trust yourself enough to read the contents of the letters and not send a response of your own?  

Would it be the right thing to even open them?  

Could you bear not knowing what he had to say to you after you haven’t made contact in a while?  

You bit your lip and contemplated the ethics at play.  

Surely, just to read the letters wouldn’t mean any harm…...right?

You had ended the ties but what was so wrong with glancing over some previous records of the relationship?  Because that’s what Jungkook’s letters would be...evidence of the past friendship you shared with him.

You honestly couldn’t bear the mystery.  

You just had to know what he had to say.  

You grabbed the letters and ripped them open in a rush to put an end to your inner turmoil.

He was worried.

He was confused.

He was hurt.

Jungkook expressed his somberness for not hearing from you.  He also voiced his concern for your well being. He was anything but mad at you, just alarmed.  That alarm was genuine from what you could tell by his growingly frantic penmanship.

This set ablaze a glowing fire inside your chest.  

The audacity of that...that...heathen.

To act so kind and compassionate when he lacked those same emotions towards his victims.  You almost wanted to laugh at his pitying tone, wondering if he had such ability when he put those five bodies six feet under.  How dare he put the blame on you for not responding back? For making you feel guilty? It was him who was at fault.

A sudden urge to inform him that his jig was up suddenly hit you.

You wanted nothing more than to shove his face in the fact that you broke free from his cute manipulative narrative concerning his mother.  In a burst of fury, you quickly grasped for a pen and paper. A rebuttal was all too ready to escape your mind and pierce his soul.

‘Dear Jungkook (or should I say Easter Bunny?)’

--

It had been a week.  

Usually, this is when you would get a response letter.  

But when you went to your mail slot and opened the incoming letter, you were left scratching your head in bewilderment.  

‘My Dearest Y/n,

I see you found out about the nickname the hideous press gave me.  

Well...I think this type of revelation is best talked over in person.

I’ll see you soon.’

It hardly seemed like a proper response to what you had said to him.  

You had exposed his truth and his despicable crimes and the only thing he had to reference was the nickname bit?  Was he avoiding the topic? Why was the letter so fucking short? And how come he mentioned seeing you in person?

A little bit of paranoia was the theme for the rest of your day.  

Logically, you knew that he had no way of seeing you.  He was locked up and the severity of his crimes would surely mean that he was heavily guarded, and even if he did manage to overcome that burden, then how the hell would he find you?  

But still….you didn’t think Jungkook was capable of murder either.  He still did that as well as lied to you to add a ripe cherry on top.  

Perhaps he was just trying to fuck with you?  To play with your head one last time and freak out the mentally ill girl as one last ‘fuck you’.  It wouldn’t be the first time someone used your fears against you. Maybe he wanted to manipulate you once more so you couldn’t help but look over your shoulder even after you two stopped conversing…..

Yes.  Getting into the mind of a killer, you would think this was the most effective way he could cause lasting harm to you from behind bars.  He was most likely snickering in his jail cell, telling his inmates about how he managed to scare his lunatic of a pen pal. He probably delighted in turning your phobia against you.  

This was the only logical explanation.  

But still, you made sure your doors and windows were locked after this letter.  Just for the sake of clarity.

--

Days have passed along with your paranoia for the oddity of Jeon Jungkook.  You were focused on getting your life back to normal. Or normality to you, considering that not much changed.  You just opted out of daydreaming of conversational topics to send to your pal along with the obvious sending of letters.  Sure, you still thought about him from time to time...but you would catch yourself in these moments and force some random chores upon yourself to occupy your brain.  

Today was a rainy day and you made a goal for yourself to finish the novel you had bought only days prior.  

About 30 minutes in, a knock at your door sounded, interrupting your leisurely reading.  

You smiled and checked the time.

Your groceries had arrived.  

You went to answer the door, making sure to grab the delivery boys’ tip on the way.

When you opened the entrance to your home, the usual boy was there, handing over two big brown bags that were overflowing with food.  You grabbed one of the bags and reached for the money to hand over so you could have to tact to grab the other bag without having to struggle to give the boy his tip, when something struck you.  

The boys’ head was ducked downwards, not show casting his face but instead the grocery store’s logo on the hat.  His hair was darker than you remembered….now that you noticed it, he was taller too. And overall just bigger….

The grocery boy you were used to seeing was of a more adolescent type of figure, you knew it would be preposterous for the boy to have such a growth spurt in only a weeks’ time.  Unless he suddenly decided to take up steroids. Confused, you tried to call out his name to get a better look.

“Renjun?”  

A moment of suffocating silence.

An icy shock of terror crashed down upon you and somehow you just knew who was under that hat without him having to look up.  

A flurry of movement commenced, marking the beginning of your doom.  

You tried to keep him out, but your reflexes weren’t fast enough,

In a haste, you dropped the bag and moved to shut the door, pressing your weight against it with all your might to keep him out.  Your body was acting faster than your brain could, not sparing a second to even comprehend how the hell he was here. You had to keep him out, he couldn’t violate your safe haven like this!  Survival instincts were kicking in.

But he was faster, and stronger and arguably more determined.  

He strode in easily, as if your attempts were at a child’s level.  Your found yourself with a large and snowy hand clasped over your mouth, preventing any hollerings for help.  

He ducked closer to you, big glassy eyes staring at your horrified expression with an almost dreamy manner.  

“Why are you shocked?  I told you I was going to see you.”

--

You never gave much thought to what it would be like to be in the presence of a killer.

Somehow, you knew it wasn’t supposed to be like this.  

You sitting on your couch with the killer wrapped around you, large frame practically enveloping your smaller one as you were forced to feel his pulsing muscles up close.  His face in near proximity to yours, big eyes absorbing your profile with an unreadable look upon his graceful face.

You were under close inspection, it had been like this for twenty minutes at least, him staring at you whilst keeping you caged under his far more capable body.  He stared at you with such focus, you found yourself wondering what possibly could have been going through that demented mind of his.

Were you next?  

Were you going to be the sixth notch under his belt?  

Why wasn’t he saying anything?  

The silence was unbearable, for you knew that when it would be broken; something very unpleasant would unfold.  You wanted the silence, but it also petrified you.

Finally, you gathered the courage to pierce the blanket of quiet.  

“A-are you going to kill me?”  

His nose scrunched up at this, transforming his stoic expression into that of confusion from a now somewhat boyish face.  His already big eyes seemed to widened and they peered into yours with a new softness that you wouldn’t expect from a killer.  

“What?  Of course not!  I just wanted to talk to you.”  

His voice was indeed what you pictured it to be, somewhat breathy and puerile but musical in a sense that could not be explained.  You didn’t have time to analyze the person behind the letters, compare him to the mental image you had in your head, when you were too busy trying not to panic and hyperventilate.  You read somewhere that if a person is ever kidnapped it’s best to not outwardly panic because it could cause the attacker to want to get rid of you sooner. With this in mind, you tried to calm your racing heart and breathing.  First, you need to find out what he wanted, convince him to trust you, and make him turn himself back in. Freaking out could get you nowhere, you must use logic as your escape plan.

“What do you want to talk about?”  You wished you sounded as calm as your voice sounded, it completely masked the chaotic state your nervous system was in.  

“My crimes.”  He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent very loudly as if the smell was addicting to his nose.  His behavior was odd, it was as if he was separated from a long lost lover who he finally found once again. He was attached to you, petting you, studying you and even breathing you in.  It was so intimate and you felt like you were being groomed for slaughter….

“Why did you do what you did?”  

Jungkook halted his cuddling for a moment to lean back and stare into your eyes with a more serious feeling.  

“They didn’t love me like I loved them….”  

You were sure you were going to die.  

He was insane.  

The killings were crimes of passion, towards innocent girls who were unfortunate to witness the side of Jungkook that you are seeing now; a love-struck and delusional man with no boundaries or sense of relationships.  

In a last effort to stay alive, you wrestled against his larger form and made a reach for the door.  

To your surprise, nothing prevented you from getting up.  He didn’t stop you.

“What are you going to do Y/n?  Leave?” He called out from behind you in a cynical and delighted tone.  

“Sugarplum, you know damn well you can’t go out there.”

Terrible, terrible realization dawned upon you like a poisonous fog that forced your eyes to water and lungs to clog.  You were only a foot away from your front door, but you knew you couldn’t venture behind it. Your safe haven has become your own prison.

“You’re stuck here with me.”