#+ if it wasn't such an outlier
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ik we've talked abt this at length but it's absolutely nauseating to rewatch lost s4 in regards to michael's storyline and the way the narrative puts immense pressure and blame on michael for libby's and ana-lucia's murder when it's already incredibly clear he feels guilty and bad and remorseful AND when other murders committed by fellow survivors (not even touching the others lmao) aren't treated with ANY of the same gravity. it just reeks of racism. harold perrineau is such a good actor and the shit they wrote for him...
#personal#lost#lost abc#michael dawson#it makes me so mad watching it#like it's not a bad storyline if it were better written. with like. ANY care at all#+ if it wasn't such an outlier#THEY HAD HIS KID FOR GODS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i cannot emphasize enough how much my entire academic situation is currently hinging on receiving an email from one (1) person
#quil's unholy underworld#i emailed her a couple weeks ago but like. that was summer so i wasn't surprised to have no response#but i would've expected to hear from her in the past week. since the class is a special situation. and that's what she's done in the past#and now i'm like. please. the class on the schedule starts TOMORROW#i need to know if that is correct. OR. if like the other semester. this one starts a week late#AND if it's actually t tr or if it should me m/w in the system#which THEN impacts this OTHER thing that is really crucial#if it's for sure t/tr#i need to fill out a form explaining why i still can't take this other required class#which is marking me in the system as 'failing to make academic progress'#literally one class one credit hour.#that i have been unable to take purely because of these classes#and I need to petition them to be like hey. i'm actually do a whole shit load of stuff this ONE class is an outlier#but if it's m/w. then I need to resign up for that class. and drop another one#and then i WON'T have to petition#SO PLEASE FUCKING EMAIL ME ALREADY
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love how the fandom collectively reimagined drew's character. recently had a cousin of mine pick up the lost hero, and she told me, "reese, i don't get how you like drew. she's so mean to piper." and i kind of sat there for a moment trying to reorganize canon from fanon.
#dearest cousin i regret to inform u that fanon is in fact not canon#drew had so much potential omg#bitter over silena's betrayal and being unable to forgive her the way the rest of her cabin did#and consequently despising her siblings for being so quick to forgive#having to take over a position as head counselor that she probably never wanted#did her cabinmates invalidate her bitterness? say that she had to forgive selena because of the circumstances?#i think the aphrodite cabin is the most family oriented of them all#after the war they probably tried to keep things together#and drew was the outlier in that because she wasn't quite so willing to forgive and forget#maybe other aphrodite campers thought the same but were too afraid to voice their opinions because they wanted to keep their family togethe#anyway IGNORE MY RAMBLING ODHGDOGDG#i just really like drew. can u tell.#drew tanaka#aphrodite cabin#cabin 10#silena beauregard#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#percy jackson and the olympians#the lost hero#the last olympian#pjo#hoo#rrverse#riordanverse
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I am a pretty boring person but one fascinating thing about me is that I never really thought of myself as the rebellious type but my existence contradicts the conventional rules of what a human being is expected to be which means that rather than rejecting the norm I was rejected by the norm itself
#personal ramblings#for the record i never actively tried to set myself apart from the majority in any way#i'm an outlier because of the way people perceive me. which is something to think about#this post is mainly about being aro but can also be applied to my relationship with gender#my not-like-other-girls phase wasn't a rejection of girlhood but rather an observation that my experience was unconventional
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Lalla Ward makes a brief appearance as Lady Augusta, intended bride to an ill-fated aristocrat, in A Ghost Story for Christmas: The Ash Tree (BBC, 1975)
#fave spotting#lalla ward#doctor who#a ghost story for christmas#the ash tree#1975#romana#romana ii#spoilers for the ash tree ig????#i mean it's pretty obvious from the outset that Ed Petherbridge's aristo is not in for a good time#i mean he's a Jamesian protagonist for one thing....#lalla had been acting since the beginning of the decade‚ with a fair number of one off appearances on tv and the odd film to her name#(most notably Hammer's Vampire Circus). she was still a few years off DW and genre immortality at this point#it isn't the most rewarding role; James (who i don't think many would argue that he wasn't a bit of a chauvinist) rarely featured#significant women characters in his work (a large number of them being academical in setting didn't help). actually the ash tree#is something of an outlier in that regard‚ as it does feature a significant female character in Mrs. Mothersole‚ but we can hardly consider#her a positive feminine presence... actually one of Lawrence Gordon Clark's regrets about this particular entry in the Ghost Story for#Christmas canon is the failure of him and writer David Rudkin to make a true villain of Mothersile; Clark felt that their shared sympathies#for the historical victims of witchhunting prevented them from capturing the 'evil' of the character (tho it's debatable how much James#himself intended her to be truly evil; this is just Clark's opinion after all‚ and fwiw i think Rudkin's greater complexity of the#character is more interesting‚ more believable and more appropriate)#i rambled. anyway yes‚ not a meaty role perhaps‚ but Lalla sinks her teeth in all the same and in just a few brief scenes successfully#creates a vivid and fully realised character‚ a charming and flirtatious fiancée with something of a rebellious streak#no ash tree post bc i made one the last time i watched it a couple of years ago
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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my favorite part of the defunctland kid cities video is that it's FINALLY confirming what 9-year-old me thought when my class did exchange city: for a field trip that the teachers had hyped up to us for weeks, exchange city kind of sucked.
#the more i watch the video the more the memory unfogs#and like i DEFINITELY remember thinking that i wasn't having any fun. but assuming everyone ELSE was having fun#so i just kept my mouth shut because i assumed i was the outlier#but NOPE! i was RIGHT ALL ALONG!#defunctland
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VQT!
Dev Patel mentioned in his reddit AMA that some of the hijra in Monkey Man were not actors and were from the hijra community. I just remembered your tag and thought you might like to know!
AH THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME KNOW!
I was trying to find anything in interviews and coming up short. It does make it have some grounding in real world collaboration with people, rather than "just" coming from the outside and making statements -- obviously can't say for 100%, but it feels like it was supportive and respectful in the narrative, and hopefully behind the camera too
#thank ye kindly friend#as an outsider a lot of it did gel with what ive seen in movies and narratives that completely centre hijra and indian trans women#a lot of it was very spiritual but then that was the tone of the whole movie as well so it wasn't an outlier#but rather fit into the mythology of the film (in my opinion)#monkey man#dev patel
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billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
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Just Desserts Pets by size (and owner)! (Patreon)
Bonus Joel and the new Bamboo cat-staring each other down:
#Doodles#Just Desserts#I would also say by name and sex but a lot of them are still undecided lol#I'm pretty sure these are all the at-least-somewhat canon pets - Just A Bee for example was omitted lol#Maybe there'll be someone who gets Just A Bee someday! But it's not gonna be Honey&Easter Nest I can tell you that much lol#I do not care how thematic it would be! She gets a bunny! It is the most correct!#Also somewhat ironic that she got a cherry-filled donut bunny and then Cherry Shortcake got the merengue dove...#Look they're not meant to Match they're meant to be What The Owner Wants!#Anyway this has all gotten off the rails lol - down the line!#Starting with the itty-bittiest of spiders! Spider Bites' spider bites ♥ I still love them - probably even more now lol#I never did decide how many she can summon at once since they're not like...properly physical in the same way Taffy is lol#You can touch them and hold them to be certain! But only when they exist (lol) Probably wouldn't be more than a baker's dozen hehehe#The birds ended up being the smallest after the spider(s) huh :0 I wasn't planning that but it seems fitting#I think Merengue (name not decided on but if Wafer is any indication lol) probably is a little smaller than Kiwi's flan chicken#Chicken is chicken-sized but Merengue isn't quite as small as a pigeon - somewhere in the middle#Sunflower is tiny by mammal standards tho! The smallest yet! Even smaller than cinnamouse!#Then again for a mouse cinnamouse is quite large lol - big plush teddy-bear sized! :D#I really do want to get better at drawing dogs... Do Sweet Pea justice one of these days she's such a sweet girl#I still love that she's made of almond BARK white chocolate - so she can lick her own paws hehehe#Konpeitoad is wider than they are tall really - still counts for medium sized just an outlier is all! Still cute tho#They're probably one of the ones I most want to draw digitally as well since I can imagine their colour palette easily haha#Cute purpley and cream toad skin with rainbow konpeito warts and clear bubble-cheeks hehe <3 They're very cute!#Barnaby too - he's got a strong mint colour palette! Lots of greens and whites! Still such a fun and cute lad with all his segmentation#Also finally cleaned up the Mercandy's amezaiku catfish design a bit - better fins!#It's a bit funny as well since Marshmallow Fluff originally had a mint colour palette as well until I simplified her design :P Things!#Wafer's largely unchanged tho ♪ Seeing them near each other I kinda wanna draw him and Sweet Pea playing now hehe ♥#Finally Taffy! The smallest of the large pets! About what you'd expect for a mammalian farm animal tho I suppose haha#Butterscotch is still so cuuute ahh ;; I can't believe I haven't drawn her more - she has so much room for scalloping! Her earsss#And finally the Queens' pets! They get to be the biggest because they're royalty lol - they already make the biggest creatures!#Oh and I suppose double-finally the Vargases' licorice cat and the new cat! I still hadn't decided on Bamboo's coat pattern...
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Me: I got a 25 on the ACT!
Mom: it won't get you into BYU, especially with your math grade the way it is.
Me: I have a 3.7 GPA, and I can always retake the ACT?
Mom: you're going to need a really good admissions essay if you want to get into BYU.
Me: thanks, mom.
#25 without even studying#so anyways now i don't want to tell her about my AP test score#it's a 3 which means that I passed#but at the same time#I'm always told to do better#and there's no validation there#just do better so you can get into your dream school#like mother. i'm trying!#but do you know what straight a's get me? panic attacks every time i get anything less than an A#do you want to repeat 9th grade where i was told that every second counted towards college and you'd have to hold me#as i cried at 10 pm at night because I thought I wasn't good enough#and it's taken me literal years to finally reach the conclusion that my grades aren't everything and even then i still panic#whenever i get anything less than a C#the math grade was an outlier from a set of horrible circumstances#i finished 11th with 5 A's two B's and a D and you come after me for the D#it's always 'do better; your grades suck' when I have one bad grade#i'm taking 3 AP classes next year because I want to college credit#I was on the honor roll the entirety of junior high#I'm working towards a chord at graduation#maybe one day i'll be praised for everything i've sacrificed just to be good enough#i know that I need better grades and scores for BYU#and I've literally been working my ass off to get into BYU my entire life
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I finally saw Air Supply in concert last week and I haven't been the same since
#i never understood how people could want to see an artist in concert more than once#because i've never really been to a concert other than jonas brothers and selena gomez when i was a literal child#but NOW#listen there are VERY few artists where i will listen to an ENTIRE album#more than that. their whole entire discography#but air supply is the number one#i've wanted to see them forever#they're literally like almost 80 years old tho so i had to jump at the opportunity now before they're dead#this is the conundrum of being an enjoyer of only music from before 2000 💀#really before 1990 honestly#there are obviously a few outliers#i'm rambling in the tags#anyway the point is swifties i finally get it#because that was my eras tour#one lady said “you don't look old enough to be here” 🤣#i was definitely one of the only people under 40 in the building that wasn't there by force looool#i need to see them again
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hisses at the atelier mobile game.... give me good news, gust. a new trilogy? elie remake next? .... (starts laughing) dusk 4?
#new dusk game isn't happening. central city arc is but a pipe dream. we need to let it go.#and tbh i wasn't invested in dusk trilogy plot points for me to even want it but it's requested a lot from fan spaces alike#lulua wasn't an outlier given arland's popularity.#idk if it did that well sales wise so they probably won't risk it for dusk.
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hey so why the fuck did no one tell me that you hit a certain age and then cyclically want children? Like monthly?
#fairy is rambling#i was crying over a dad crying over how much he loved his baby today and I'm like what the fuck why am I crying#and i think about it really hard#and then im look oh shit im about to have my period#being broody wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't single#living at home with my parents#and 22 years old#as much as i would love to be a mother#NOW IS NOT THE TIME#who the fuck came up with this shit#anyway im skipping my period cause im not doing that mess this week#also does the brooding hit everyone or is it like heightened in certain people#cause i feel like im always like this but again that could be cause I want kids and am friends with many people who don't#like is it just exacerbated because i feel like an outlier#eh who knows#tbh i don't care my kids are gonna have so many aunties and uncles#maybe its worse for me because i am constantly mothering everyone I know#eldest daughter curse
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fully aware that the last time I wrote anything critical of the peace corps I got dogpiled by RPCVs from reddit but I am now debating whether I should open the can of worms of male volunteers picking up child brides barely-turned-18 brides from their local communities
#peace corps#it CAN'T have just been my training group#I am confident that it wasn't some kind of insane outlier of a situation
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actually, there's no need for an updated "we didn't start the fire", or a modern version of the song that follows its structure beat-for-beat. "summer girls" by lfo is like the spiritual successor to "we didn't start the fire", but it's a terrible 90s love song, so no one's ever gonna be ready for that conversation
#stayed all summer than went back home / macaulay culkin wasn't home alone#fell deep in love but now we ain't speaking / michael j fox was alex p keaton#you're the best girl that i ever did see / the great larry bird jersey 33#call you up but what's the use / i like kevin bacon but i hate footloose#outside of a few outliers (shakespeare and fucking. paul revere) every other reference is safely in the 2nd half of the 20th century#or the time where the band members were growing up#much like how billy joel's song is less of a history lesson and more 'listen to all the shit that's gone down while i've been alive'#like this is such a stupid song but i'm just throwing that out there into the wind#rambles
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