#living at home with my parents
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hey so why the fuck did no one tell me that you hit a certain age and then cyclically want children? Like monthly?
#fairy is rambling#i was crying over a dad crying over how much he loved his baby today and I'm like what the fuck why am I crying#and i think about it really hard#and then im look oh shit im about to have my period#being broody wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't single#living at home with my parents#and 22 years old#as much as i would love to be a mother#NOW IS NOT THE TIME#who the fuck came up with this shit#anyway im skipping my period cause im not doing that mess this week#also does the brooding hit everyone or is it like heightened in certain people#cause i feel like im always like this but again that could be cause I want kids and am friends with many people who don't#like is it just exacerbated because i feel like an outlier#eh who knows#tbh i don't care my kids are gonna have so many aunties and uncles#maybe its worse for me because i am constantly mothering everyone I know#eldest daughter curse
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if you’re young and transmasc and the people in your life haven’t been great about the whole thing and you’re starting to feel like it might be easier to just give up and pretend to be the person they want you to be, i need you to hold on. because the thing is, one second you’re 16 and a future where you get to make decisions about your own body and life feels so impossibly far away and you can’t imagine living like this for that long, but then you blink and it’s been six years and you’re in your car with the music blasting and your voice is lower than the guy in the song’s and your hair is long for the first time in a decade because you’re finally confident enough to grow it out again on your own terms and your chest hasn’t been weighed down in months and it’s the freest you’ve ever felt in your life and i promise it will be worth the wait. don’t give up on yourself.
#was literally just driving home from the store and it was such a euphoric experience i had to make a post#16 year old me never could’ve imagined being where i am right now#he certainly wouldn’t have believed i would be able to get to this point while still living in my parents’ house#positivity#transmasc positivity#trans man positivity#trans men#transmascs
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something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down
#all i want is chinese food#the closest one to me is 40 minutes away and its a /bad/ chinese place#its my worst option and its not even an option#‘fried rice is easy to make heres a recipe!’#i cant use a stove bc the heat will give me a seizure#even if i keep myself cool something that should take 15 minutes will take upwards of an hour bc i need to take breaks#even then ill probably be too nauseous to eat it after being active for so long#all of that for a bad cooks version of fried rice#more expensive and worse than a takeaway place#but i cant get it from a takeaway place#repeat ad nauseum for the rest of my life and is it any wonder im so sick of the same food ive eaten for 10 years#the only time i get takeaway is when my parents decide to go out and bring something home#can you imagine living like that for the rest of your life?#i dont have to#and its so dumb to want to cry over rice#but its not really about the rice is it#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic illness#disability#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#ehlers danlos syndrome#fibromyalgia#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental illness#mental health
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If some or all of your grandparents are dead, answer based on when they were alive.
#organic home grown content#polls#family#grandparents#i see more of my mum's parents because they live in the same town as me#whereas dad's parents are a 2.5-3hr drive away
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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surely whorlstar would let the kits see their mom??? why are they having to sneak around?
Kinda spoilers bc I'm gonna explain my reasoning behind this storyline
Main reasoning right now is that Bess has refused to join/stay near the clan and Whorlstar obv wouldn't want the kits leaving camp (esp with the Eagle attacks and other dangers). Not that she's been asked - Cedarheart hasn't spoken to her about the kits' mother since he brought them to the clan.
For her original reasons as well - Bess is living outside of clan life/the Warrior Code. She could turn her kits against Splinterclan's rules - like if she had rogue friends who wanted to hunt on Splinter territory, would she turn her kits against the clan and allow that to happen? Would she just get them to steal prey for her? Or herbs? What about just letting any rogue onto the territory who says they know her? Would a clanmate die because of a resource that was put to use outside the clan? Would the weakening of clan loyalty in some members cause the clan to fall to an attack? What if Bess got sick and that outside illness spread through the clan bc she wasn't quarantined?
It'd be wholly different if Bess was a known cat - if she had come to introduce herself to the clan and joined. But she didn't! And now Cedar is compounding that issue/worry by having his kids and himself sneak around and lie. When/if this comes out, I'm sure it won't end well.
#txt#asks#i've had several asks about this so i wanna kinda explain my thoughts behind this storyline xD#it's like if a family member had a parent who refused to say where they worked or lived#only wanted the kid to come visit them and had a shadey personality#would you want that kid visiting that person?#or would you want the kid to stay home and be in school and be safe and loved with the family that choose to stay around them?
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y'know what. sometimes there is something wrong with you. and i don't mean in a "you are broken and that makes you unworthy" way, just in the "your brain/body does not work the way it's expected to and that's why things are so hard" way
like as someone who grew up constantly being told there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder to clean/socialise/work, knowing i had ADHD earlier would've saved me a LOT of guilt. knowing i have IBS would've prevented a lot of pain/embarrassment from not being able to manage it yet. i wish someone had told me there was a reason i couldn't do things instead of just telling me i was fine. people reassuring me i didn't have any issues to spare me the shame of being "different" only made me feel worse about not being able to function like everyone else!!!
idk sometimes i just wish i knew there was something different about me sooner bc then i would've had an explanation and a way to get better instead of just a lot of self loathing
#ramble#ok to reblog#can you tell living back home has brought up a lot of unresolved stuff#the amount of times i said 'there is something wrong with me' and i was told i was fine just made me feel like i was the problem#and that i should just try harder instead of there being a physical barrier that i couldn't control#idk there's just a lot of anger from realising that it wasn't my fault and NOBODY tried to help me#@ parents: different doesn't mean bad. help your fucking kids
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andreil if they were birds ..!
#fun fact my grandpa was a hobby parakeet breeder#and in the early 90s he rescued a cockatiel that had escaped from a (presumably) abusive home#and my parents took it in cuz it couldnt stay with the keets :)#his name was elvis and he was a piece of shit bird but he lived to the ripe old age of 24 and i cried like a baby when he died in 2017#aftg#all for the game#andreil#neil josten#aftg art#aftg fanart#andrew minyard#my art
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just had the thought 'in the end the most important thing varric taught rook was how to make a home for, with, and in other people' and then I had to go lie down on the floor and clutch at my head in unceasing agony for a few hours, as you may well imagine. hawke and the kirkwall crew........ in the end you kind of saved the world a bit in the most characteristically indirect and chaotic of ways. not by anything in particular that you did or achieved or accomplished (lmao imagine!), but just by -- having existed, and by the love that was always there, despite it all, in all its imperfections, even when no one was saved by it in the end. you're not here right now and you're not quite haunting the narrative but I hear your voices bickering and arguing and laughing from the other room. (and so, I think, does varric. all the time.)
'did you think you mattered, hawke? did you think anything you ever did mattered?' yeah actually, varric says with da2 and keeps saying through the series. you were here. and I loved you. and as it turns out that mattered more than almost anything in the world, no matter how long it lasted or how fucked up it was at the time or what else happens, because varric manages to pass that feeling, that intangible... home, that echo of you all as you were together, that love, hopefully the best parts of it, on to someone else for them to bring with them on their journey, with their family. and maybe the world will be kinder this time. you never know. merrill's line of 'Everything affects everything. We were born, a bunch of things happened, and now we're in a mess with our friends.' varric's greatest fear of becoming his parents. even through the wreck and the ruin of the world, ghosts upon ghosts upon ghosts of love -- malcolm hawke, who we never even see, but his life touched hawke's and hawke's touched varric's and varric's touched rook's and rook is passing it on to the family they're creating. the unbroken legacy of love shines through in ways that are stronger and stranger than any magic. help
#I woke up. I opened my eyes. this insight hit me over the head like the fist of god. what the fuck. what the FUCK#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#hawke#varric tethras#dragon age 2#dragon age meta#let me live please I've barely reached consciousness I can't deal with this#the kirkwall gang.#what if they were secretly the most important people who ever existed. just because they existed. and for the love that was there#yeah you know what? that's not the worst legacy in the world is it.#da:tv really is da2 2 in some key ways. to me. one of the most da2 lovers or all time#also extremely da2 and also varric core for varric to adopt a kid (as a full adult) completely alone with hawke possibly dead#and STILL somehow manage to make it a varrichawke lovechild on some level. not romantic not platonic but something even more insane#every day varric is unbearably intimate with hawke through the narrative in ways he simply Cannot be with anyone in real life#(in ways you perhaps Should not be in real life. also. lol)#he keeps moving on no matter what b/c that's what you do. but I think varric's real home isn't even kirkwall or a place at all#it's a time. and that time is da2. or at least the story of da2 that he tells himself.#also also what about them themes around parenthood huh. I think varric in the end at least did not become his parents. thank god#trauma gets passed down. but so do other things and you have choices about what you want to leave behind#for those who come after you.#*tears streaming down my face* guess I have to go make breakfast and pretend everything is normal then. sick and twisted
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Started thinking about how Dick lost the two most important people in his life at the age of 8 and since then death has never left him. It's just so heartbreaking because it will never stop affecting him. He can't stop caring, he can't possibly stop loving the people who enter his life no matter how high the chances he'll lose them too are. He could lose his whole family, all his friends ('s been close both, even if some eventually came back) and yet he would never stop welcoming people in his life because his heart is just so big and he has so much love to give.
#yeah yeah I know this could apply to a lot of dc characters#but dick grayson lives rent free in my head so you'll have to deal with it#dick grayson everytime he starts caring for someone#death: it's been a minute!#his parents#his closest friends (plural)#his brothers#his childhood home and family#his second dad#who's next dc? the love of his life?#man even people he just happened to know casually end up dying and he blames himself for it#dick grayson#nightwing#dc comics#dc
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Your place is already the Best Place for elderly cats, but I think it's especially so for Valentine with his dementia. There's plenty of comfy, warm spots, so he doesn't have to remember where one is; there's always food, so he doesn't have to worry about that either. Sometimes company passes through, suitable for a good cuddle or even a bath.
And then sometimes, when he's on one of the wide soft places, there's someone with a warm lap and clever hands, and he can wake up and go "Oh! There it is! I remember that!" and go snuggle.
We should all be so fortunate when we are old and tired and forgetful.
Thank you. I am so, so thankful and lucky that he has the kind of dementia where everything is good all the time. We've had to euthanize animals at the clinic before because they get senile and anxious and they just seem miserable all the time no matter what you do for them.
Valentine doesn't read any social cues from the other cats but for the most part everyone is nice to him. The only "bad" thing is he always thinks he needs to be fed. And then sometimes you feed him and he just looks at you all confused.
#the worst dementia in any of my own pets was probably Dot#i was living at home with my parents and whenever everyone would go to bed she'd wander the house and cry for 10-20 minutes#nothing you could do to appease her. but she eventually would settle down and sleep#Dot also always wanted to go outside in the screen porch and then just sit and stare in the glass door#valentine#ask
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"contentment in singleness" doesn't require you to stop desiring marriage & family. it doesn't require you to stop pursuing marriage & family.
Christians are called to be content in any situation--that doesn't mean we abandon all our good desires and concrete goals.
contentment is to trust/rest in God's promises to love you, provide for you, and make you holy.
you can do all of those things, and earnestly want and seek a husband.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
"Favor from the Lord" meaning, of course, blessing as the result of a life molded by wisdom.
Now, how can one find a good wife without seeking? Seek without wanting? And how can wisdom and contentment be mutually exclusive?
#this post brought to you by the drive home from church yesterday#when I realized that I'm very comfortable (and have been for awhile) where I am#unmarried and unattached but planning to be otherwise#and if I'm always planning for something that never happens? well that's just fine too#I'll have spent my youth becoming the woman I always wanted to be--not for a husband and children but for my parents & the church#and I think it took realizing that I didn't have to give up a good desire before I could *actually* be content#we are called to desire Christ's return always. that doesn't equal discontentment with our lives right now.#Christianity#x#for me it's now as simple as the Created Order fact that MOST people need to marry and procreate to keep civilization from collapsing#and on another level (mapped OVER that fact) it's as simple as God's ordinary means of kingdom-building being families#but goodness knows Christian young people have been inundated with so much overthought on this subject (myself included)#that it's necessary to parse it all out sometimes
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Okay. Proper, healthy parents would never have let their sixteen year old know that they were traumatized by something- no matter WHAT it is their kid did- and had to "get over it". Much less drag that out for YEARS.
She was a child.
As @x-birdsong-x says: "you cannot tell your kid that She Did A Bad Thing that It Was All Her Fault that You Can't Believe She Did That that She Was Always The Problem There that She Caused All That Trouble to the point she believes it so strongly to the point she carries so much guilt so much desperation for absolution that when a kid who did the same thing who is the same age she was shows up, she spends every second of it making everything worse by going This Is How It Has To Be This Is What You Need To Do Next".
#BIRD THANK YOU FOR THE ADAMS BRAINROT IM DYING#so i hid screwups from my father made up school awards to please my mom/whatever made the steak taste better whatever kept the waters calm#alexa play our word 36 questions#i need to die over this. these lines live in my head#i will never be over 'in two months i came running home. it took my parents years to get over it.'#also#i say this with 6+ years of experience in therapy including emdr and family therapy#among other things#my caps#8x06#jessica adams#greg house#meta#friend meta#my meta#rewatch lb#v*
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#you#...#you...#Congrats with surviving... I hope it wasn't too bad...#We had something similar last year#We live in a kind of a distant village#And our streets are connected to one heating system#And it was so cold last year that this station just broke#Me and my sister have been without water electricity and heat first day *giggle* It was funny to wear 2 complects of cloths and jacket#It was... like... -14 inside of home? *giggle*#On the second day we at least got electricity back and got a little heater (We were separated from parents so the have been calling 3#times per day XDD) We closed all doors to not let the heat outside#Since we got sick and couldn't take a shower#We were able to go to school but we looked like shit XDD#Then we were lying next 2 days like potatoes in one room with a heater... it felt awful XDD#They couldn't fix the main heating system for almost 3 days#It was... funny.... never want to experience the same again and hope you will not too
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and if i said suguru’s relationship with weakness (’the preciousness of the weak, the ugliness of the weak’) was born out of his feelings towards his mother …
#.#feeling abnormal feeling extremely abnormal#i think suguru fucking haaaaaates his father but his connection to his mother is just . so much more loaded#in that sense his mommy issues are far worse but his daddy issues are definitely more . apparent#he hates his dad he’d do anything anything anythingggg never to end up like him#but he resembles his mother in many ways (the hair. the eyes. the frail heart)#and because of that his hatred/love for Her in particular is just … one big can of worms#’you shouldn’t have given birth to me. you should have saved yourself. it’s your own fault that you’re stuck with him’#etcetc#he feels pity and guilt and hatred and biological love he’d be better off without#i think his mother was very very awful to him too#but even baby sugu knew the root cause was his father#hhhhh ….#i’m a little on the fence between . ’his home life was violently abusive’#and ’his parents were obsessed with appearing normal and perfect no matter the cost’#maybe both ?#like … idk if ever got physical. but i think just the psychological torture of living in that kind of household#left scars in his soul that he’ll never get rid of#in my mind sugu’s backstory is akin to nobara’s but make it straight up horror#anyway that’s all 🙏 sugu your parental issues have bewitched me#ari noises ✩#meta ✩
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wait i'm curious
#bc i know some people whose parents made them pay rent as soon as they were 18#and i have some friends who have moved back in with their parents after uni and now pay rent#meanwhile my parents laughed when i said i was grateful they were letting me live at home because ''what else would they do?''#pinkie's polls#🧃
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