danielleelizabethhh

[danielleelizabethhh]

The air in the room was always thick, carrying that strange mix of bleach, cigarette smoke, and something unnameable that clung to the curtains. The sheets- wrinkled and suspicious- would crackle under my fingertips as I peeled them back, scanning for crawling shadows that might lurk within the folds. The room's only window was always covered with sheets, the heavy drapes pulled tight with no light shining through, swallowing the sun so nothing from the outside world could slip in.

There was always a book in the drawer. Cold and dust when touched, like it had been waiting for someone far more desperate than me, Opening that drawer felt like stepping into someone else's ghost, like the walls themselves whispered of those who never walked out. My chest would tighten, a sharp ripple of unease running down my spine, as if the room itself knew stories I didn't want to hear.

The bed springs groaned with every shift, a hallow metal cry echoing in the silence. The carpet beneath my feet was stiff, brittle in patches, as though countless nights of fear and sweat had seeped into it and stayed. Sometimes I'd turn the pages of that drawer book, not to read but to feel the thin, fragile paper between my fingers. It became a hiding place- the pages swallowing tiny shards of my world, needles glinting like secrets pressed between scripture- thin leaves.

There was no concept of time there. Only the low hum of the broken air conditioner, spitting out air that was too cold or too warm, never right. The mirror, cracked in the corner, always seemed to look back with something that wasn't my reflection. I didn't need comfort from a place like that- only stillness, only the quiet hum beneath my veins. As long as I had that, the room could have been anywhere, and it wouldn't have mattered.

d.n xx

@versesbyaaliyah

[danielleelizabethhh]

Written In The Stars

He wants to know if I write about him-

I find it comical

but how could I not?

The universe pressed his name

into the ink of every thought

long before he ever asked.

I send a heart.

"xx."

Because some truths

are too sacred to speak.

I keep him wondering,

let his mind roam

through midnight skies

chasing comets shaped like my touch-

thinking

and thinking

if he left a mark.

He did.

An echo carved in the folds of my heart,

woven from stardust

and deja vu,

as if I knew him

before I ever knew him.

My love for him is ancient-

deep, impassioned,

a mystery

I want to remain unsolved.

What I really want to say

is that I write him

into every world I build.

He is the rhythm in my ink,

the reason my hands move.

I thread our story

into fantasies

as if the characters were always waiting

to be filled with our fire.

He is the spark

that pulled me from the shadows-

brought the words back

when they were gone.

Writer's block

vanished

when he entered the timeline

meant for us.

I write about him

because

he is the only thing

that feels like a note from the cosmos

saying:

"Here,

You've waited long enough."

He is the alignment

of all the signs I didn't understand

and open to

until now-

the reason I believe

in love with that exists

outside of time.

d.n xx

[danielleelizabethhh]

In Your Eyes, I See A Reflection Of Me

For my niece

Your eyes tell a story -

of a young girl let down

by the people who she trusted most.

Naive to every boy

who whispers I love you

only to use your body

like a rag wrung out and tossed away

when it no longer feels clean.

Your traumas began too soon,

leading to scars carved in secret,

to the drugs that numb your soul

the constant ache of being alone -

searching for something

you know is real

but can't quite grasp.

Your heart is pure,

overflowing with love for a world

that keeps asking you to shrink.

Your mind, wild and chaotic,

is still trying to make sense of all the missing pieces.

In your eyes,

I see a reflection of me -

your aunt,

who's walked the same road

you now wonder.

And it shatters me

to see the similarities.

But one day,

this poem will seek you out

when you're in a better place -

with a man who loves you

for everything that you are,

who won't lead you

down the path of hurt and drug use.

You are never alone.

I see myself in you -

the fire, the ache,

the wild soul refusing to dim.

And if I can leave you with anything,

let it be this:

No matter how dark the road may seem,

the light is inside you.

Don't let it burn out.

d.n xx

[danielleelizabethhh]

7.14.25

10:09pm

Monday.

I haven't been writing at the pace I usually do maybe I just needed a creative break and give my mind some time to settle. I guess that's what happens when you're a creative person. It feels great breaking that writers block that I must've had over the last few months. I hope that everything I write will help someone in the moments they feel broken or alone because the times when I feel the most down and I read literature that I deeply connect with it makes me feel not alone or inspired to write down my own thoughts. Being someone with a creative mind has its moments, though. I love being able to write from the heart and soul and weave pieces of myself into words and stories.

Art cannot be rushed.

d.n xx

[danielleelizabethhh]

Daydream

In a world where nothing but butterflies

and pieces of anemochory

gliding alongside of the cool breeze-

kissing the faces of star-crossed lovers.

There are grass fields, vibrant green,

stretching for miles-

so easy to get lost in nature's beauty.

Stone homes stand perfet,

with beautiful stained glass windows soaking up the sunshine,

a porch wrapped tightly around them,

and a garden where every vegetable

is planted with love

and the intent to nourish.

The smell of crisp air

on a chilly fall evening,

fractals of smoke

rising from a campfire

into the aether.

Walking hand in hand

with the person you didn't even know existed

but somehow waiting for.

That's the daydream

I want to live in.

d.n xx

[danielleelizabethhh]

Toxic days end so sweet

d.n

[danielleelizabethhh]

“Don’t be afraid to love again. Not everyone is like your ex.”

— Unknown

[danielleelizabethhh]

12 years

Today marks 12 years since my dad passed away. When I look back at it I can't believe how quickly time goes. I never really felt the energy of him until recently- the signs I have been seeing is more frequent though. I do a lot of reflection on this day because it's what really triggered my addiction. I mean, I have always been into drugs (especially the party ones) but the IV drug use only started after losing my dad. I suppose it was my "excuse" to begin my journey of hardcore drugs and dating someone who was already a heroin addict didn't help the situation but that was my way of coping and numbing and that turned into a full blown addiction quickly. It's important to love the people who are in your life as much as you can because you never know when you'll lose them. My dad passed away quickly and unexpectedly which made everything a thousand times harder because there was much left unsaid, questions I had, and missing time between the two of us. I struggled for a very long time and I carried negative emotions because our relationship wasn't exactly healthy- up until his passing. I do know that he loved me, and he did the best he could despite his own internal demons and today that gives me the comfort I need. There's plenty of moments that I wish he could have been around for, but he is around just not in the way that I would like for him to be.

[danielleelizabethhh]

The First Look

The moment I saw you at the airport,

the world around me disappeared.

It was your eyes -

pulling me under,

dragging my soul up through my skin.

My body remembered you first -

a thousand lifetimes of touch,

aching under my ribs,

buzzing in my blood.

The space between us burned.

I could taste the music between your breath and mine,

a rhythm older than memory.

It wasn't polite.

It wasn't gentle.

It was hunger - raw, electric, holy.

In that one look,

the distance between our bodies

and all the miles we'd crossed

collapsed into a single, shattering truth:

I have known you forever,

and my body has been waiting

just for yours.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Before I Knew Your Name

There was an ache inside me,

long before I knew why-

a hallow hunger carved into my ribs,

a silent place waiting to be filled.

I moved through lifetimes of chaos,

hands brushing past strangers,

hearts missing beats

for the wrong song.

And then-

without warning, without map-

you appeared.

Not as a stranger,

but as a forgotten part of me

that had been wandering too.

Your voice was the sound

I had dreamt in secret,

your eyes a language

I almost forgotten how to speak.

In the spaces between words,

I knew you-

in the way rivers know the pull of the sea,

in the way stars remember the dark.

We were never new, you and I.

Only lost.

Only waiting.

And now,

I recognize myself in you -

the missing, the ache,

the fire and fragile hope.

Distance will be our friend.

Before I new your name,

I was already loving you.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Lately

4/26/25

9:44pm

It's been a whirlwind of drastic changes- I always found myself in relationships and not truly ever being independent. Let's call it settling. Even through my addiction I was never alone, the drugs were my company. I believe for the first time I am finally becoming solely dependent on myself. I left the life that was provided for me financially and even though I was comfortable, there was still something that I felt that was missing. Constantly searching for a foreign feeling. I didn't see myself going through a divorce so young and quick. It is a terrifying place to be when there's that comfort knowing bills will always be paid, and money wasn't an issue for the most part, until it's not. I made the decision to walk away from what was "comfortable" in order to find my own independence, and better yet, myself. Working full time and juggling being a college student, going through these motions have tested my limits, sure but I pushed through. Here I am only a few weeks later, sleeping in my very own place for the second night, surrounded by my things in my bubble that I have and will continue to create. I know that there will be struggles, and I will have to work a thousand times harder because I am on my own. I suppose what I am trying to say is that the gravitational pull I felt for so many years I have been ignoring has awoken and I'm finally listening to it.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Things started getting out of control when I had to give my arms and hands a break from digging into them with a needle, over and over again. Between breaking rigs into my skin, and constantly fighting to hit a vein, I knew it was time to start considering other options. I was becoming sicker and sicker each moment wasted on trying to register my shot.

By this point I was broken up with my ex, but we started hanging out again, it was hard for us to be separated from each other for longer than a few weeks. He noticed something was different with me, “What have you done to yourself?”, my ex says to me as I go to pull down my pants to continue exploring to find visible veins that I could inject some heroin and cocaine into. Little did he know that my habit grew worse and worse after us being not together. His surprised face was no longer surprised, then he realized the monster he created.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Things started getting out of control when I had to give my arms and hands a break from digging into them with a needle, over and over again. Between breaking rigs into my skin, and constantly fighting to hit a vein, I knew it was time to start considering other options. I was becoming sicker and sicker each moment wasted on trying to register my shot.

By this point I was broken up with my ex, but we started hanging out again, it was hard for us to be separated from each other for longer than a few weeks. He noticed something was different with me, “What have you done to yourself?”, my ex says to me as I go to pull down my pants to continue exploring to find visible veins that I could inject some heroin and cocaine into. Little did he know that my habit grew worse and worse after us being not together. His surprised face was no longer surprised, then he realized the monster he created.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Acid eyes and late nights

When we were younger

Talking from the heart

Sharing the same experience in that moment of bliss

How alone we thought we were

Two star crossed lovers sharing the same journey

The gateway to the universe reveals its hidden messages

How special we thought we were

When we were younger

Acid eyes and late nights

[danielleelizabethhh]

I want to know what arouses you, what lingers behind the shadows of closed doors.

Be playful-no, I want you to be honest-

Tell me the things you only whisper in the pages of your jornal.

It’s perfectly alright if there are sharp edges, if the ink runs red instead of black through out my body, words carved into my flesh.

Please show me, not with words, but with your hands.

First,

Blindfold me in silence,

Make me hold my breath with restraint,

And whisper in my ear,

Who god truly is.

[danielleelizabethhh]

He’s the guy in the background

The one everyone goes too, but the one who stays invisible.

The guy who’s so mysterious and comes out in the night.

He’s the guy who creates the most beautiful sculptures, he’s misunderstood by most.

His DNA is made up of star dust and fragments of the universe, he doesn’t belong here.

[danielleelizabethhh]

Dream Journal

2.6.25

You and I.

I knew it was a dream and it felt like we had so much catching up to do. I was telling you how I ran my DNA and that I was Scottish and Germanic European. You seemed so happy to see me and have me share the things you have missed. There was a moment when you tucked my hair behind my ear, and kissed me gently.

This morning I woke up from this dream realizing that so much time has passed for the both of us, and now you’re on the other side of life. We have always been spiritually connected and even more so now, through my dreams.