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So my roommate just convinced me to buy these things. And i was all excited because me being allergic to pads actually sleeping comfortably is a great idea! Thing is she tried one of them and proceeded to say: "I have decided to keep these and giving you all the pads to keep for yourself."  Yeah i bought the pads too... the ones i'm allergic to... and upon mentioning this she just smiled and nodded

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Stress

So, there is always those times in the year and often in life where everything seems to pile up. Roomies... Right now is one of those times.  As far as I know Jessi... my babes, is buried under so much paperwork and is constantly pressured to meet deadlines that make little to no sense. I can only wish that if I were in the same city as her I could alleviate her stress somehow. Maybe I would call on her goddess powers and her amazing ability to BS to make most of the work go away... or which is more likely i would make her procrastinate and watch more k-drama than strictly necessary, eat tons of food and laugh about our stupidity.  We would have our friend Paloma come over to chill and eat all of our food, she is cute so she can get away with it. 

Truth is I admire Jessica, because I know how headstrong and independent that woman can be. She don't need no body, and she fierce and crazy smart. At the end of the day... it is I who need her. Because even though she is rude and rough around the edges, she can pull be back from the brink of a self harming depression with sarcasm and satire. This summer is proving to be an eternity and I can't wait to August. I know she will be disgusted with my sick ewwie feelings that are really gross to her, but that thought in itself made me smile on this sad day. I love the horrible and terrible sociopath of a room mate that i have.  I wish her the best rest of a birthday month and hope that she can outshine all those motherf*ckers from McNair, those b*tches dnt know who they messing with. 

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Sick Ewwie people

Roomies!

One thing you all have to understand about us is that we may be sociopaths but when the time comes, our moral compass will always point north. And this blog entry is inspired from my recent discovery of the illness of Jessi... so kuddos to you girl!

ANYWAYS there is this guy name Oscar, and he is my friend from some time. Aaaand Jessi absolutely dislikes him.... with a rabid passion of narcissistic dictator... and I'll admit that Oscar can be a little dense... and idiotic... but he is a human after all so wutevar. 

Anyways he went through this phase some time ago (like 8 months ago) where he was just this big a$$hole and no-body could stand him because he would curse and insult people left and right. But me having a dorky loyal Jigglypuff (Hufflepuff) part of me I stayed his friend through it. But to the part that I't getting is that during that time he got sick... like really, really sick and he was on campus and I Don't Know Why this butt comes to my door and brings me bacon... yeah I know bloody weirdo but I loved the bacon.  He as so out of it, he was swaying on his feet. It was also a weekday because I was about to go to class and he was there. Anyways, I ask him what he was gonna do next and he said he was going to drive home. So, I stood there at my door seeing swaying on his feet, not able to keep his eyes open, and not even able to articulate quatri-syllabate words, I was so pissed off. I try to ask him if he can find a friend to crash in campus just for a couple of hours because I certainly did not want him around and sick. But with our luck he had pissed off all the other friends of his on campus by that time. It was then that Jessi takes a look at him and she is like f*ck. We drag him inside put him in the bottom bunk and give him some pills and he is stone dead in 5 min, the butt is so deep into sleep we just leave him without fixing his shoes or anything. 

Now! Were we total humanitarians and helped him until he was in top fitness? HECK NO, we avoided our room all flipping day and I would only return every six hours for another dosage of medication and left as soon as I saw him swallow the pills. He got better and I would like to hope that, that moment was the catalyst that made him realize what an a$$butt he was because after that he was way nicer. 

SO! Moral of the story! You may be the biggest a$$butt out there, and we might not tolerate you. But if you are in need or you ask for help. We will help you in any way we can.... maybe not in the conventional way... but we will help wither way.

P.S. I'm very sleepy and very not good with English so don't judge me for spelling or grammar x(

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Goddess

So.... Roomies:

I have been feeling a little under the weather, and mostly is because of the death of one of my closest uncles. Anyways I put a post on facebook saying "God give me strength"

Five minutes later I get a text from Jessi saying "Yo you ok? 0.o"

"Not really..." and so started our text conversation.

"??"

"really cant say much... but i really hope we get through this (me fam)"

"can't say much? Are you in witness protection all of a sudden? ....ok. Well... You've got this. You're not a dumb kid. Take time, and grieve. *there there gif*"

"well... its more of a legal problem, lets just say im glad I watched Drop Dead Diva."

"This is why we watch smart ppl shows man. It comes in handy.And at leat i'm not an emotional dweeb like SOME PEOPLE."

"Well... as awkward and bad as you were... you actually helped... thanks babes"

"Well i can't do much 500 miles away but my glorious personality transcends physical space and can bond with people anywhere."

"you little SHIT!!!! you know when I was asking for God's strength I didnt mean you! you narcissistic bitch! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg if I die of lack of oxygen I am blaming you!"

"Then be more specific next time. Now you're stuck with me. No refunds yo."

"wutevar! (sick ewwie muchi feelings) thanks babes"

"Thought you said you paid attention to drop dead diva? You should've know. You've made your bed yo."

This is the person I trust the most and love above all things Roomies, and yes I am an emotional dweeb :D

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Sleep over

Hello Roomies:

SO! this happened some time ago, like 2 months ago. Anyways Jessi was out for the weekend, she went to a conventions I don't know where. That same weekend I had a community service event with some friends, one of which was a commuter and did not wish to travel to campus at 4 am. I proposed that we have a movie night and that Martha (the commuter) could probably sleep with Kiara (at her dorm in campus). Anyways, I un-bunk Jessi's bed and stick them together so that they make a huge bed in front of the tv. Night starts and we watch movies until like 11:30, where we decided that we better stop if we wanted to wake in time for service. 

I honestly do not know what was going through my mind when I invited them to crash there. 

Worst 

Life

Decision 

EVAR

Anyway... three beds, three of us, it worked. I also have to note that I hadn't slept the night before so I literary just plopped on bed and died. 

I didn't even check if my friends needed anything I was just dead, caput, finite, done. 

I was asleep and I felt my phone vibrate, and I was very out of it when I look at the screen trying to focus on a very blurry screen. Somewhere in the back of my mind I recall the sound of water but I was just really really out of it. 

I focus and I see that I got a text from Kiara. Even more confused I open it and it says "Your roomate is back! 0o0-!" Since the entrance light was on I look to the other beds and see them both laying down (It would be appropriate to mention my bed is raised up like a bunk bed... say 5 and a half feet up so I can easily look down around the room, oh and it is right next to the now de-bunked beds). "What?" I manage to croak out. 

Kiara in her nervous giggle says: "Your roomate is back she is taking a shower."

"Dude that ain't funny," My sleepy brain was just thinking what bitches my friends were trying to prank me that horribly. 

Martha then spoke in her brusque ordinary voice, "No you ho! We are telling you, your roomate is back and she is in the freaking shower!"

I can still remember how the wheels started moving in my head with little clicks as I registered that we turned of the lights before going to sleep. How the lights at the entrance as well as the ones to the bathroom were on. There was a suitcase in the entrance, and above all... the water I heard waking up... was the water from the shower...

"SHIT!"

I fall out of bed and try to do something but my brain is still shut off, so I pace for a while and come up with nothing. Then I toss my hands up and tidy my bed as best as I can and tell the other two to scoot so that the three of us fit. I give them clear instructions of pretend to be asleep and not make a single sound. Do not try and talk to Jessi or even look her way. We would get out in the morning... hopefully... but to NOT MAKE A SOUND.

I fight to stay awake for another 10 to 15 min while she gets out of the shower. In my mind preparing a speech to give to her when she comes out of the restroom. Somewhere along the lines of " I'm so sorry, they weren't even supposed to stay here... We will be out by 3 and so sorry ... sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry..." Yeah..... something like that.

But when she came out of the restroom, I froze. She had been wearing make up and instead of washing off with the shower it had made these HUGE DARK  circles around her eyes. and her hair was not braided or anythings so it was all around her as an ominous cloud. She loves hot showers so the place let out streams of steam and since the rest of the room was dark the bathroom light made her face shadow even more. 

I swear I became religious in that instant simply to make my peace with God and if I died that instant I would be alright. 

I felt my face gaping like a fish and I could not utter a word from my apology, even as she looked at me expectant of an explanation. I managed a very soft squeak but I don't think that she heard. 

Fessed up waiting she got ready for bed and after 3 tries and 5 agonizing minutes I could could voice a crappy excuse. Which to the day I am still ashamed of.

I said something like: "Uh.. my bed is empty...." When she looked at me with her no-shit-Sherlock face I muttered: "I'm sorry we will be out by 3. Sorry."

Jessi shook her head and finished tidying up and went to bed. 

I dared not sleep after that. Every time that Martha began snoring I would nudge her and every time I heard a noise I hoped that Jessi would be asleep.

A couple of hours later I rouse my sleeping buddies and instruct them to be ninjas and get the heck out of there. They were still a bit noisy and I wanted to flipping cry!

Enough to say we got out without a scratch (miraculously) and we went to do community service. It was around 7 or 8 am when I return back from the service event and I was like: "Well... If I die now I have a high chance of going to heaven... cuz I saved two lifes and even did some community service."

With that mentality I open the door to our dorm and ninja my way inside. I was still tired so I decide to back to sleep since the room was still dark I figured Jessi hadn't waken up yet.

Just as I am reaching the bed I think What if she woke up during the time I was gone and now she on the double bed? And since our room is so dark I couldn't tell if she had; so I take out my phone and illuminate two inches above the bed on the side and as slowly and quietly as I can I scan the double bed for an angry roomate. 

Luckily I find that she is still in my bed, so I climb into hers and try to not to freak out of what will come ahead.

Being the paranoid I am I feel someone looking at me and I hear a sound above me a little behind me.... like... from my bed.

I am already shitting bricks and I have to convince myself that it will be best if I can see the hit coming so I open my eyes and see Jessi halfway out of my bed towering over me with her phone in her hand. I almost pissed myself. 

As I laid there terrified... She squints at me and pulls her hand back and I think OH SHIT SHE GONNA THROW IT AT ME! But then she slips back into bed and goes to sleep...

It was another half an hour till I could calm down enough to try sleep myself. 

------

It was all latter clarified over breakfast between snorts and laughs

That no I wasn't an idiot with speech impediments, just that she looked scary as hell coming out of the bathroom.

No I wouldn't have let people stay if I thought she was coming back.

Yes, I should have probably texted.

WHY would I bring back someone?!?!?!

NO, that was your body pillow I swear I didn't bring any of them back xD

That she never had the intention of throwing her phone at me... mostly is that she thought I brought someone back with me and was checking with the light of her phone and she had pulled it back to regain her equilibrium and go back into the bed.

No, my friend Martha was not a guy... yeah she was the one snoring.

I know i know I sounded like an idiot 'my bed is free' honestly woman I had no sleep the night before my brain was barely functional.

YEAH, you really scared them! you should of hear the story of how they almost shit their pants bec of you!

I know.... but honestly I don't think everybody could move like ninjas... I know they were loud but they can't be our level of awesome really....

And we couldn't stop laughing for a couple of hours recounting the dumb time I thought I was gonna get strangled for my stupidity. x)

Till this day Martha is still deadly terrified by Jessi... and this makes me and Jessi amused every single time they see each other.

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Over him / US under the cuppard

My apologies Roomies,

I am planning to make this blog a weekly thing because I don't have the time to upload every single day. Also summer is here and with that i will have to go back home... i know disgusting... Given fact that was not created in the same womb as Jessi and we are not actually related I will not see her for most of the summer and I will be updating from previous events.  To make up for the fact that I have neglected and destabilized the flow/agenda of this blog I will give you two stories tonight!

STORY NUMBER 1!

Over him.

SO. There is this guy I have been in love with for over a year, (David Brewster is his name but we use his last name bec there is a gazillion Davids at our school). And its pretty pathetic... guy doesn't even give me light of day. Anyways I decided its about time that I get over this guy so I enlisted the help of my friends to do it. And at first it was only my friend Paloma who was helping me, The way she was doing this is by lightly punching me on the arm... but really it was mostly like a brush because she a lil wimp ;P 

Today I was walking with Jessi to one of our finals, and I saw Brewster at the other side of the courtyard and I turned to Jessi and ask her to punch me.

"What?" Jessi asked back a little bewildered.

"Just punch me," I said looking back at Brewster.

"Alright," with a shrug she punched me on the shoulder, and let me tell you she does punch kinda hard. "So, what was that?"

"Oh, " I said rubbing my arm absentmindedly, "I am trying to get over Brewster and I just saw him over there."

"OH! Why didn't you say so?!" She punched me again and even harder, so much I yelped. 

Laughing and grabbing my arm I turn to her, " b*tch! you jumped at the opportunity!"

"Of course!"

A little explanation might be in order.... Jessi does NOT like Brewster... he gives her a creepy creppy feeling  and she just doesn't like him.

I see Brewster again and Jessi sees this and she hits me again, and again, and again.... She hit me four times and when we were inside the building for my final she wacked me with her whole arm because I was reflective and a little depressed for my 1 year crush on this guy. Jessi had the biggest grin I have seen all semester.

No Roomies... I am not saying Jessi is abusive... she was just a little over enthusiastic about helping me get over this guy. 

STORY NUMBER 2!

So after dinner we were walking back to our room and Jessi brings up the whole thing about the Nigerian girls being kidnapped and sex slavery and all that good stuff. She was saying how the U.S. just said they will step in and have people profile the kidnappers and basically trying to clean up the whole thing. It was also said that a lot of people were complaining that "finally the U.S. was doing something about it." 

Full stop.

right now....

wtf....

Excuse you, but other countries are always complaining about how the U.S. loves getting into other peoples business and that they should stop trying to help everybody and blah blah blah. Apparently the U.S. is the only one trying to help, and not even through the UN. The UN is just "showing concern" and not even taking action. wtf people....

And lets just stop it there because I don't want my blog to become political.

Anyways after another 10 minutes of discussion I bring up a point. 

"You know who the U.S. reminds me of?"

"Who?"

"Harry Potter." Jessi looks at me like I'm intellectually challenged. "No no no hear me out. Harry Potter had a shitty beginning as a person, he got beat and treated badly by the Dursleys, yet towards the end he still helped them go into hiding, being all like: 'Hey there is a bloody psychopath trying to kill me and even though you all have been a$$holes to me this entire time they might kill you so... here let me help you.' Harry is the nicest person who will always help no matter what."

"Hahahaha! that true! 'Oh yeah, here let me just save the world even though I am just a teenager and UNDERAGE. Even though there are more qualified people to save the world, with more education, fighting abilities, life experiences that an 11 year old with alohomora!'"

"'Oh yeah I know I am only twelve but here let me kill this basilisk for you because not a single teacher can find this giant bloody snake!'"

"Pft, most kids, heck all 12 year old's would probably cry, but Harry is all like: 'oh well...'"

So what do you think Roomies? is the U.S. a poor mistreated kid who is kind at heart and even when it doesn't know how it tries to make things right? or is he a noisy brat that should learn to keep his nose out of other peoples business? 

Put your questions down bellow and/or send me a message/anon.... I need more friends really wutevar is fine... 

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Names

Hello Roomies! I know I have not updated in a while and I'm sorry for this but honestly I just have been very busy.... anyways onto the story! As you may know me and my roommate do not blend in easily with "normal " societal patterns. Not the most affectionate of people, even so we often fare pretty well Since we are not that sociable we don't have many friends and when a new person tries to enter our group of friends things get a little.... awkward. So in my theories of Learning class there is this girl who gives zumba lessons and I befriended her because I attended one of her classes as a dare. She is a very nice girl but she can also be very affection enthusiastic. I honestly do not mind when people come at random and hug me and whatnot but Jessica is a whole different matter. Jessica and i were eating one day when she said: "your zumba instructor might think that we are friends." After an awkward pause I ask what did she mean. "Well... I was at the gym and she also works there and she came up tome and said 'hello beautiful, how are you?' And I was like wuthefluk???" She genuinely looked extremely confused. I laughed and said "oh yeah, she kinda took a liking to me for some reason after I explained a concept after class." "Mostly I felt bad because I don't know her name." "girl don't worry whenever she begins to question if you know her name say you have problems pronouncing it." "Well what's her name?" "Coatlicue." I kid you not Roomies that's her name "Do her parent come from like deep downtown central Mexico?" "Hahahaha no and its weird bec she has a lot of pride for her name." "Man I thought my mom had it bad, bec name is Maria del Carmen that's her name, just first name the whole thing Maria del Carmen I cant even fill it in the FASFA." Mostly we still eye her from afar and we return the hugs but for now I dny think our little group will grow x) So Roomies again a disclaimer no we ain't making fun of Mexicans mostly bec we Mexicans it don't mean we want a name of a novels like Maria Antonieta Enriqueta del Angel. And yes we also proud of eating spicy wearing rugs and judging those who cant eat hot stuff x)

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Babies

Hey Roomies,

I know I've neglected you for a while, honestly too much work i just finished a 14 pg research paper just 11 min ago. anyways...

Jessica was going all crazy right now because she just realized that in this time and era with technology she doesnt have to have sex. 

She loves babies and she would like a child of her own yet she is completely disgusted by pregnancy... and even more about sex.

we were talking about how cannon it is that Superman and Lex Luthor have a child and wutnot when she suddenly exclaims her capacity to clone a human being.

And she started fangirling of how she could conserve one of her eggs then get some of her bone marrow and make a Jessi 2.0

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Log in to your Tumblr account to start posting to your blog.

So tonight we were watching Knight's Tale and honestly it was the first time I seen it. When I watch a movie for the first time, specially in my room or some private place I usually provide a lot of commentary. If you seen the movie you might remember the competition held in Paris, and how Jocelyn asked William to loose for her. 

I was sitting there and honestly I wanted to slap the hoe.... What in the name of bejeasus goes through a woman's head to think, "Hey my man is in a pretty brutal competition, and he might get seriously injured in it... make him loose that'll be a good idea."  

We literary had to stop the movie for about an hour and a half to have a serious discussion about how some women are bat-sh*t crazy. Like honestly some women spend 2 hours straightening their hair, when they have blond silky sheets of straight hair... and then they complain about not having volume, or that people don't appreciate their hair. 

To be honest I am one of those girls who can't be bothered with make up or fancy hairstyles, and yeah I may look f*ck ugly.... but its a choice. Like you wearing your stilettos to class on flipping Monday morning. Why would you do that when you obviously have no plans for the day? I DON'T KNOW! but please don't complain about it either. 

Jessi reminded me that at Oyster Bake on campus there were a lot of girls with platform stilettos.... The ground on campus is mostly hills and uneven ground. Why in the world would you wear that? I know you with a date and you want to look good, but its a fair... take your fancy shoes to dinner not to a Carnival. And if you plan to wear them anyways then shut your trap and endure them all night because nothing looks tackier than a girl barefoot carrying a nice pair of shoes. 

Then Jessi talked about a friend from High School that was just beautiful, but she started using makeup like crazy and then her skin just went wayside. I guess we are not your usual typical fashion obsessed girls... but we also try and know what is best in each situation. 

And for those who use their periods as an excuse to be mean to others or be a bitch for the day shame on you. We actually go out of our way to be extra nice and patient those days, and Jessi even wears white so no-one knows she is on her period. 

  Just Saying.....

  PS. I hereby apologize if at any instance I offended or criticized anyone's point of view on how they should live their lives. ultimately I am not a God who can tell you what to do with your life so go punch a rabbit if you want I cant do jack squat about it.

PSS don't punch a rabbit.... rabbits are adorable i mean look at that cute little face

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Influences

To all those people out there who refuse to say that they are influenced by the people they live with I call BS! 

Today my mother called to check up how I was. Don't get me wrong guys me and my mother... don't exactly agree on many things, but I still care about her. 

Anyways I was telling her that I was fine and whatnot when Jessi starts singing. Granted it was at a low volume it surprise me that she would be making any noise while someone is at the phone (she one of those kind of people). 

She looks over at me and sees me and my phone and whispers: "Oh shit you on the phone!" 

to which I just look over like:

and she starts laughing. 

So loud that my mom hears it through the phone. Now my mom is like 0.o who is that? I tell her its Jessi and my mother goes all Mexican: "Ay mijita que bueno que ya estan juntitas las dos hermanitas para que se quiden!" (translation for the non spanish bi-lingual community: "hey little princess, how good that the two sisters are together so that you take care of each other")

I literary held my phone out and made a disgusted face. Pulled the phone back in and replied: "EW no mother, that's disgusting. Better if she were to die then I could get all her cool stuff like her laptop, or her amazing double bed yeah!" 

I looked up and realized that: that phrase would be exactly the one that Jessi would say... and then I knew I was slowly morphing into her (x___x)

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Get your soap!

SO! 

Last year same dorms as the one from the previous post... It was I believe it was Martin Luther Kings holiday or something. Point is, it was a three day weekend so obviously.... my roommate gets sick.

You guys don't understand, my roommates body is the most convenient thing. She had papers and quizzes to take before and after that weekend and she only go sick those three day and then she was over it. She got a trip scheduled... going to the beach? her period was supposed to come or was already on her period? NOPE just pause.... get all the fun part done with no worries. Resume with human necessities. JUST LIKE THAT.

Anyway back on topic. It was a three day weekend and Jessi got sick with like the freaking plague, she looked disgusting. Mostly she looked like a zombie, so me being the good friend that I am I bailed the whole thing. Yeap, got some clothes and hailed but out of there. 

You got to understand guys, in the room we had back then there was absolutely no light... at all. Pitch black, you couldn't see two cm in front of you. And to have an oversensitive and possibly aggressive partner in such a small room.... no thank you. 

Anyways.... Sunday rolls around and a colleague of ours calls up and says he needs a printer. Given fact we had a printer I decided printing once would do no harm and maybe Jessi would be fine with the minimal disturbance. 

What I had forgotten is that the colleague in question had forgotten some laundry supplies before and they were sitting in our room.

So we are at a corner of the room trying to print and Jessi is laying in her bed looking dead. I kid you not she did not stir and you couldn't even see her breathing. Anyways as soon as his documents start printing I see something move from the corner of my eye... Jessi was suddenly sitting up, very straight, hair everywhere eyes glittering with the small amount of light coming from the ajar door. 

"Leo," (name of the colleague) it is now that he realized she was sitting up.

"Oh hey, I'm just printing something, hope you don't mind."

"Leo, get your soap."

"My what?" It was now that I remembered about it and I was trying to tell him quietly to just get the stuff and we could leave, as I was going for the soap.

"The soap! take it!" Jessi said still in a very clouded form of speech.

"Go to sleep Jessi you drunk!" Our colleague said... bad decision.

"WHAT? no! your soap!" I look up and that when I knew that things got real. Jessi had her angry face number 4: angry that I am sleepy/tired and humanity is being extremely idiotic, so I'mma kill somebody.

Leo, dismissing her just laughs and continues his printing. Honestly I can't tell you what happened next... I ran out of there. All I can say is that Jessi and all her enormous hair and her 5'9" frame were coming down her bunk bed and I did not stay around to see how that ended.

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Wake up call

This is a story that happened some time ago.  We were living in our freshman dorms and I was a pre-med student at the time. Full of busy schedules and lots of studying. I had formed a study group and we decided to meet before class for a brief run through all the studying we had made.

...

wrong decision...

I woke up around 5:30 in the morning and because I know Jessi and her love her sleep my alarm was set on vibrate on my phone. I get up and I tippy toe my way into the bathroom. I was already finishing my shower when I hear a faint knock on the door.  I strain to hear, see if it were my mind playing tricks on me when I hear a faint knock again. 

Since our dorm back then was connected to another by the bathroom, I thought it was someone knocking on our sweetmates door. I dismiss it and continue rinsing. 

Then I hear a loud thud..... from our dorm. I stop once more all my movements and I hear footsteps from what I now assume is Jessi walk towards the door. A door sounds to be opened. After 20 agonizing seconds I hear some muffled noises, and not long after a door bang close. 

I'm scared to death standing in the shower, hoping to God that the idiots from my study group weren't the ones to wake up my roommate and that she wouldn't blame me and come and kill me in the shower. 

I hear her shuffling in the room for another minute and the bed creek...

I wait for another two minutes and decide to just check it out. I cut out the water get my towel and exit the bathroom. She is laying in her bed and starring straight at me. 

"I'm going to kill your friends," She said quietly.

"Not my friends, study group colleagues."

"Imma kill them," She said and then sat up to contemplate. 

I quickly got dressed and out of the room.

_____

"What did you do!" I asked one of my study partners whom I know was the one who went to knock on my door.

"I just wanted to make sure you would wake up and not miss the study session..." I kid you not everybody in the room look dead beat scared, some even terrified.

"You woke my roommate up..." looking at him pale at this statement I continue: "Do you have a death wish? Not even I wake up my roommate..."

Everybody in the room shifted uncomfortably and some exchanged glances. 

"What happened?"

"Well, I knocked on the door twice and then as I was leaving she opened the door and..."

"And what?"

"Your roommate looks so scary dude...."

I laughed, for indeed up to this day I hardly ever have the courage to wake her up.

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

On the mood.

Short story for I need to sleep soon, I am exhausted.  Today I spent some time cleaning the room, because the genius that I live with doesn't need anything in order and never needs to clean up after herself.

Anyways I was quite confused as to the location of my roommate given that she wasn't in the room for quite some time in the afternoon. She avoid people like the plague and for her to be out and about is extremely rare. 

Cleaning I hear the door unlock and I turn to see her come in a wind-whirl. She was going on about how she found a way to avoid seeing anybody this weekend and she will be going to her aunts house to avoid humanity. I laugh quietly to myself and say that I am glad for her but honestly I just wanted to finished because I was just so darn tired. 

She heard tired and thought I meant of people. To which she jumps at the opportunity and says: "Tired? Like tired of people? That's cool! we can kill some people! I would love to kill some people! but we would have to do it right now because I'm pumped up! Yeah! Let go kill some people! We can overthrow a government! Yeah I'm down, lets do this! Let's kill people."

Quickly I though a way to dissuade her of this erratic idea that she had just got. "Did your third grade teacher not ban you from from overthrowing any governments?"

I look up hopefully and see her frown. "But I wanna kill some people." 

"Did she ban you or not?"

Now whining like a petulant child: "She knows nothing of me!" She then calmed down and got into bed to mess with her computer and probably send an email to Barack saying how rude I am for stopping her from having fun. 

I still can't decide if she is cute or a danger to all humanity. Don't worry you guys I already asked never to become president. 

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Strange coincidence

So, as you may know, my roommate and I are college students. As true academically involved individuals, we interest ourselves in research and new scholarly findings. So each of us conducted a research project of our own. And we decided to attended a symposium to expose our research for critique and to generally inform the population of different aspects of our fields.

Long story short, Jessi made a poster titled: "Religious perception of Muslims," and in fact I believe she did a fantastic job at it.  Yet when arrival to the symposium for set up we were quite baffled at the coincidence that was that she would be placed on the spot 9.11. She was not impressed and this strange coincidence did not suit well with my sociopath-ic friend.

Moral of the story, do not attempt to anger a overtly genius girl by placing her research as a pun.... Still dealing with the aftermath.

[bloggerofasociopath-blog]

Entry one, life with a sociopath.

Start of my blog, Intro of a sociopath.

  So after a lovely dinner with my roommate Jessica talking about how we love em psychopaths, we were heading out from the cafeteria. When one of my acquaintances Adrian, who is known to be a little creepy for being overtly flirtatious when he isn’t even good looking, said hello to me. Since my roommate was excited to show me the psychopaths we were discussing she was walking a tad bit fast. Accustomed to it I walked on the same pace, but Adrian called out asking if we wished to slow down. Jessi laughs and I replied with a “nah.”

  Jessi then proceeded to kick open the door of the building, which hit against the opposite wall with a loud bang. I called her out and when she asked what I couldn’t help but laugh and tell her that I love her (as a friend of course, no need to ship us). Because we have a running joke of her arrogant awesomeness she said: “Of course because I’m your highly most esteemed Goddess.”

  Anyway Adrian was still following and he was trying to stay with us even with my roommates clear un-approval of his presence. To this point my roommate did not know it was Adrian who was next to us, and even though I talked about him and his flirty disposition before, they had never actually met each other.   Obviously I just had to introduce these two. I said, “Jessi have you met Adrian.”

…..

She laughed. 

SO LOUD.

 because the place we were out has a lot of echo she just got it and ran with it in the sense that she used the echo so her malicious laugh resounded extremely loud. 

  Trying to keep my com-posture and not be rude i hide my smile behind my hair.    Adrian by then looks slightly dis-consorted but worry not fellows he pushed on. He tried flirting once again and said, “well we weren’t actually introduced, I saw you one day…” but by then my roommate was already 20 meters away laughing like a superior mother fucking badass, laughing to myself I wave goodbye to Adrian and joined my companion where we proceeded to walk home.

  I explained to her how I called out when she kicked out the door because she hit the glass part of the door and i thought she would break it. Laughing she told me she didn’t care she probably would have been like hell yeah! Walking by and just laughing at different scenarios where we escape authorities because of her breaking a glass door she got interrupted by some cricket. Since she was pumped up and laughing really hard she just called out “SHUT UP” it her most authoritative and mean voice. I kid you not the flipping cricket stopped chirping. 

Dear Lords I wish I was making this up but just as I started writing this post she saw a cockroach near our door inside our dorm, and she went vindictive on that thing.

When she found it (bec it was hidding) she said and it is a quote bec i was writting this down: “what are you going to do little cockroach? you will be destroyed. DESTROYED. yes a chance to murder” she laughs like a maniac. and picks up the now killed cockroach and picked up and took it to the restroom. “no I don’t throw cockroaches away. I flush them away like the filth that you are. good bye heh heh heh heh” 

I look over to her from my bed.

"Ah, fantastic," starts humming to herself, with a innocent happy go lucky smile on her face. 

Yep, I could never be bored with my life.