#poor life decisions

[ideologyofone]

Me, a tragedy enjoyer, watching the caitvi divorce in 4k in 41 days

[zuzu-draws]

"Well Well... Aren't we gawking with a little too much enthusiasm?"

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[eskildit]

pyrrha dve is a sleaze. that’s why she’s hot btw

[nicole-ashwood]

Just using the info we got from Life is Strange? Could have been one of a thousand reasons. As someone who lived in small ass towns for a good chunk of her life, getting your ass out and trying to live a better life is a very common mindset to develop.

However, I actually think that Before the Storm gives us one hell of a good reason for her to want to flee, especially when we look at the X factor it introduced that was Sera.

Because between BtS and LiS? Sera died.

Think of it this way: Rachel was a hard driven and ambitious young woman. I cannot see any justification for Rachel to drop the Sera matter, even if Chloe lies to her and claims she couldn't find her. Rachel doesn't seem to be the type that would have given up easily on that, and I seriously doubt Chloe could have kept her from pursuing the matter.

Simply put, either Rachel is told the truth, tracks down or is reunited with Sera, and grows bitter and self destructive as she watches Sera slowly succumb to addiction. Or Chloe lies, Rachel continues to look with a reluctant Chloe, finds her (Sera might lie about her and Chloe meeting), and eventually grows bitter and self destructive as she watches Sera slowly succumb to addiction.

I don't think Rachel had a sweet life in BtS. I think she had an illusion of a good home life that was agonizingly peeled away from her when she realized just how much of a gilded cage she was in.

I'll admit I don't necessarily like Rachel (she REALLY takes after her dad, even if she doesn't realize it), but I do understand her.

Why did Rachel Amber want to leave?

I was recently speculating with some friends as to why Rachel Amber wanted to leave so badly and I must admit my thoughts went to some dark places there. I'd half-written a post and then decided to purge it and instead offer the question to you all.

What reason do you think Rachel had for wanting so desperately to leave Arcadia Bay, to the point she was talking to truck drivers and the like trying to find a way out of Arcadia Bay? We'll ignore the backstory that Deck Nine came up with because honestly? Rachel had a pretty damn sweet life in BtS, and no real reason for so desperately needing to leave.

So. Ignore the story about Sera, and Rose and James Amber, and all of that. Consider just Dontnod's story rather than Deck Nine's. Why did Rachel Amber want or need to leave Arcadia Bay so badly?

I have my suspicions. I'd love to hear yours.

[hasello]

So, how did Raphie break his arm?

let's rewind...

a little prequel to this

Leo THE menace and Leo THE big bro are a dangerous duo, their dynamic would be fun I think lmao

They were hanging out at Rise dimension, having a sleepover. It was late and Raph was already in trouble, but he really wanted to hang out at the Rise's city cause it's the most lively and colorful. Leo wasn't having it, tho!

ALSO I AM STRUGGLING with 03 boys sometimes, cause it's hard to make them not look older than they are with their designs LMAO They're built like tanks, I swear.

[endivinity]

additional kullen news: concerta and melatonin interacted... poorly. i've always had hypnopompic hallucinations (the kind you get with sleep paralysis. but i'm not paralyzed, i'm REACTIVE) but concerta was metabolizing so slowly out of my system it wasn't letting me sleep well. it did something hideous to my hindbrain and made me panic. so in the throes of a hallucination that just made me imagine someone had come into my room and rearranged my shelf, i launched myself foward, fell fully out of bed, and landed my entire weight on my finger. of my dominant hand. got it xrayed and everything. it's not broken! but it's been a month and a half and I still don't have full use of it. i'm going to physio though - managed to make a fist yesterday for the first time since, so it's getting there. swells up something horrible if i have it out of the splint to do art and I can't straighten it past a 30 degree bend when that happens so it's very slow going.

i've switched to ritalin now which..... works perfectly. same molecule, instant release. can't go to the higher dose bc it gives me mad anxiety and issues with diastolic blood pressure but the starter amount is apparently just right and im ????????? ok.jpg i have mild-moderate adhd so it's not going to pack the same punch as if i had moderate-severe since it's not correcting as much of an imbalance but still it feels pretty good and it hasn't caused any severe side effects other than crashing really hard when they wear off. if only i could get sleep meds that work bc i'm not allowed melatonin any more :')

[halfdeadwallfly]

[silver-missiles-and-nightingales]

Real 😔

I keep wanting to buy a mandolin, but I keep buying records instead

I CANNOT. STOP. MAKING. POOR. FINANCIAL. DECISIONS

[skeletoninthemelonland]

This was supposed to be posted yesterday for Women’s International Day :’D sorry I don’t know how to draw bed sheets 😭

[sidetongue]

his last day. He got to chew on fingers, pester his siblings, gnaw on his first bone, and pretend that it was all going to be okay

[thebirdandhersong]

Lex values honesty, loyalty, and mutual trust in his friendships and that translates into a desire to be trusted with weighty and delicate things. I think there's a real and deep desire underneath that to have proof that people do trust him and do feel safe around him and do see him as someone they could confide in and come to in times of need. Yes, he wants someone to confide in, too (to receive the love, care, support, and steady presence of someone else) but he also wants to do that in return........ to receive as well as give something kinder and more tender than anything he's ever given or received from his father

[uncanny-tranny]

I promise you can speak about and denounce undesirable behaviour without attributing it to some in-born, immutable, unchanging trait that you must "civilize" away.

In this specific instance that inspired this, you really don't need to attribute bad behaviour that's done by a man with unchanging character traits. This isn't even solely about men, because doing this affects everyone, men included.

"Men needed to be civilized out of behaving this way!" Who are you expecting to be doing the civilizing and why? This is just defending the idea that women are responsible for training up men - the millenia-old idea that a man's failings are actually a woman's fault, not his.

As a man, I am responsible for my actions. You don't need to dehumanize me in order to preserve your misogyny and your need to hate a group of men. Don't get me wrong, this rhetoric absolutely is not good for men to face. It especially targets men who have experiences with marginalized identities. If you're on my page, you know that this is something I deal with personally, have personal stakes in that affect my life daily. I just also think we really need to remember that this issue exists in a context where women and other folks will inevitably be punished as a direct result of these ideas as well.

I need to make that last part emphatically clear: even if this rhetoric (somehow) only hurt men, it would still be wrong. It would still be wrong! I want to - as a man - remind people (especially those who already have decided to dehumanize entire groups of people) that nobody is safe from being exempt from punishment due to this rhetoric.

[fae-whispers]

due to the sudden influx of wormbark posts, i have been peer pressured (by myself) to order a bulk pack of worms on a string so i can create wormbark and all the other worm-lifers 😔😔😔

[tiny-smallest]

Sonic Movie Universe prediction: Robotnik is an orphan because of GUN

I think what was supposed to be, tonally, a silly throwaway line is actually winding up to punch us in the face later.

Bear with me.

I barely remember the first movie since it was so long since I watched it, but aside from one, maybe two, of the comic universes, this line is the first time we have ever gotten anything at all about Ivo Robotnik's personal backstory. And it's that he's an orphan. In a story series that explicitly sets him up with a human identity- none of that Eggman stuff as his identity, not even a whisper of the name until it's a silly insult Sonic throws out later- this movie bothers to give him a Normal Human Society Firstname Lastname and a job.

(Okay, so Robotnik isn't exactly a normal human surname. But it's established canon that is the family name so. Suspension of disbelief.)

A series that we know will later delve, at least a little, into the story of Professor Gerald Robotnik WHO IVO APPARENTLY, ACTUALLY, DEFINITELY KNEW IN THIS CONTINUITY, AS HE HAS A SPECIFIC GRANDPA NAME FOR HIM AND NEARLY CRIES.

The original line was a ridiculous rebuttal to Tom during the fight in the house during the first movie. "Rub that in my orphan face," he says in response to Tom sharing a detail of his childhood during Silly Action Scene Banter. While there is a sort of tension there since the movie universe makes no bones about Sonic being an actual child and he is confirmed to be an alien, thus making the danger present of government capture and experimentation very real and kind of horrific, the scene as it plays out isn't overly out of character for something you'd expect in a Sonic movie. And although Robotnik is the threat here, he plays a large part in also keeping the scene lighthearted because of how utterly he fails to respond like a normal human being to literally anything. The comment about being an orphan at least makes sense based on what Tom said, but it's still weirdly personal and, therefore, kind of inappropriate to say. Like dude back up you're trying to kill a child why are you sharing your trauma with me that's uncomfortable.

Which brings me to the obvious point of that line- it's not just to make the scene funny, it's to show us how set apart from other humans Robotnik is. This is a man who has no idea how to interact with anyone, like, absolutely nobody, and every single scene he's in reminds us of this, including this one.

Now that the third movie has explicitly drawn a line between Shadow's backstory and themes of pain and loss, and we see Gerald Robotnik weeping over what I think is Maria's body in the aftermath of the murder (jesus that's dark) I have to connect a few dots of my own.

The first movie had another piece of foreshadowing they threw at us, this one way more obvious: at the end of the first movie, a government agent is sent to speak with the Wachowski couple. He tells them that Ivo Robotnik has been thoroughly erased from existence. As far as any documentation of him ever existing on Planet Earth, there is none. He hasn't merely disappeared- it's like he never was.

If they did this to Ivo after this catastrophe it's not a stretch to think they did the same with Professor Gerald. Hell, I thought that after movie number one. "That has to come up later- we have a character the government explicitly turns on in this series. Like, as a major plot point. The defining moment in several characters' stories. No way does their ability to erase someone not come up later."

But now I think they went a step further.

They've already murdered a little girl and broken an old man in their efforts to contain the genius they were frightened of.

Personally, I don't think it's a stretch to think that Ivo Robotnik, very young himself at the time most likely, is an orphan because GUN decided to eradicate the entire family line in an effort to prevent anyone like Gerald Robotnik from ever existing again.

Except. The son survived. Well shit. Uh. Stick him in an orphanage and keep an eye on him, I guess.

And where does he end up as a adult? A branch of the government. Where they can keep an eye on him.

(More than that, if they did erase Gerald, Ivo clearly remembers him... so Ivo may have joined them specifically to look for traces of the grandfather he knows existed and who doesn't seem to have any records proving that whatsoever. But that's Ivo's motivations and we're talking about GUN's, so, moving on.)

It's likely based on his sheer intellect, assuming Ivo wasn't embellishing too heavily, that he didn't have to grow for very long before that brilliance was obvious. Though the government's decision to let him live was strategic, weighing the gamble of assassination with the gamble of him inheriting the genius and deciding that risking him having the same genius as his grandfather was better than trying to kill him at this point, the gambit ultimately failed. Even though he was more than likely still only a child, they'd let him live too long. In just a few short years he quickly became a very real threat to the government- as in, if given a reason, he could be a very real threat. And nothing Ivo does is ever subtle or quiet, so his genius was probably very loud, and there was likely lots of attention, making an assassination impossible, because if there would be too many questions before, there would be an insurmountable amount if he died or disappeared now.

So, since they couldn't kill him, they continued to keep an eye on him and took him on at the government when he was old enough with the intention of keeping their enemies closer. Except all of their caution still wasn't enough and he went rogue the first time he was presented with the opportunity to grab at power they didn't already have, power capable of things beyond their wildest imaginations- a monster of their own making.

Ivo, who never asked for what happened to him, very likely a victim of circumstances he had no hope of ever controlling, who responded to this trauma by making his choice that power mattered more than anything- more than morals, more than hurting people who are just like he was once. That shaping his own world after all the horrors he planned to do in pursuit of that may finally, finally "be enough."

(Be enough for what, exactly, Ivo. You never did explain that. "Who knows? Maybe that will be enough." Elaborate.)

Whether he knew the truth about why he had suffered or not, Robotnik made his choices. He stood at that crossroads that demanded he make a choice about what kind of person he was going to be in the face of all the pain and loss, and he made his choice. This movie is about Shadow making his.

If this movie really wants to beat us all to death it won't just draw comparisons between Sonic and Shadow, but Shadow and Ivo Robotnik.

(If this movie wants to exorcize our souls after we're dead, if it intends to be a trilogy and not make more movies in following the original vision for Sonic Adventure 2, it'll place Ivo at a new crossroads, and this time, he'll make a different choice.)

(Especially since Professor Gerald, in a much worse state of madness and malice than Ivo, who the movie is setting up specifically as someone Ivo loves, admires, and almost certainly misses, probably won't.)

[ruushes]

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all? 😊

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

so many lol, they're my sparkledog oc, i just keep adding things to them 😂 they rly like body mods in an unconscious/unexamined bodily autonomy way, im thinking abt redesigning their tattoos since they've changed a lot as a character since i made them tho