#zoom in…just trust me
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if this song was a person
#malleus draconia#twst fanart#🫧: new work!#🎨: tiny’s doodles#i said he would be next and i came to deliver!!!#malleus stans come get y’all food#i actually listened to this song on repeat while i worked on this#the central focus is the rose choker but i got carried away with him#i gave him piercings bc yes#him and jamil’s fan art are probably the largest ones in my book#ngl i had so much fun with this one#y’all does the choker actually look like a tattoo 👋😭 bye#i’m actually having so much fun drawing again#this song gives me malleus vibes#malleus my beloved#zoom in…just trust me
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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Speaking of Barry being able to read Leonard Snart scarily well, imagine that Barry notices how Snart reacts to people Barry knows, and files that away in his opinions of that person
Barry is in the cortex with someone he finds kind of annoying but harmless, Snart walks in for Definitely-Not-Flirting-While-Doing-Business Reasons, and starts lowkey acting like this guy is an Immediate Threat that he's trying to act cool around to not set him off. And Barry immediately knocks like 5 points off of the "how much do i trust this guy" ranking. Subtly starts telling him less things, looks into what he's doing on the downlow, treats him as potentially suspicious And turns out... The guy does have bad intentions
Leonard comes in and meets some of Barry's new friends/coworkers, and clearly seems to mark one of them as more trustworthy/less of a threat than everyone else. And when Barry needs help or someone to confide in, he goes to that person over everyone else
Barry comes in to Saints and Sinners and sees a regular he's run into before, but hasn't seen interact with Snart. He thought the guy might be pretty cool. But today he walks into them talking, and Immediately sees that Snart is closed off, jumpy, does NOT like that guy in his space. And Barry immediately takes cues off of that, turns the guy down when he later asks to have drinks together next time Barry drops by Saints
If Snart seems unnerved by someone Barry knows, Barry trusts his instincts. Even if Leonard never says anything to Barry out loud, he still takes note of that. If Snart likes someone, or just thinks they're reliable, Barry will trust that instinct.
Even if Snart doesn't say his feelings out loud, Barry trusts him so innately that he will listen to Snart's instincts when it's clear he's feeling a type of way
#so on that note.#imagine all of that being true AND#snart being around and showing up during the harry-being-around and pre-zoom-reveal stuff#he meets “jay” one (1) time and he picks up that this is a manipulative liar IMMEDIATELY#say nothing. plays along.#barry seeing this: oh okay. this guy is NOT SAFE. Got It#also thinking about: snart so subtly putting himself between anyone that he sees as a genuine threat and barry#even -and especially- in Star Labs#he meets Harry. doesnt know what's going on yet but absolutely knows that Dr. Wells was a threat to barry and doesn't trust this guy one bi#is weirdly always between them whenever he's around#comes over more often just to watch this situation#listen. barry trusting harry would have been a VASTLY different journey is snart had been allowed to stick around#bc he would have been subtle about his deep distrust of harry#but barry would have noticed Anyway#and he prolly would have still trusted harry eventually#once he proved himself and stuff#but the plot would not have happened the way it did in canon#if barry's not-boyfriend-but-not-enemy who's protective and a damn good read on is someone is a threat -esp men- was around#yeah so. just thoughts#barry allen#leonard snart#the flash tv#coldflash#i mean. not EXPLICITLY#but to me this is coldflash#there are romantic VIBES to how well barry would read snart and how much snart wants him safe
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inspired by @ spilledkaleidoscope's disco sapphics portraits
#i think uli could trade in the grandpa jacket for a grandma cardigan. idk i think if they were women they would dress like this#i dont think they would be into makeup but steban gets earrings as a treat#disco elysium#steban the student communist#echo maker#ulixes#or um. julia and julia (after dobreva)#i just painted over the portraits dont zoom in the brushes match trust me bro haha#i didnt want to change much of the design#mazovian yuri
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landing
#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to#include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap#smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied#to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yukina#hiei#skrunkart#also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip#anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs#anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more#would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand#enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do#edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia#but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one#WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW#ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY#also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it
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Can I get some Human anatomy tips ? I'd Google it but I like hearing from fellow cartoony artists. If you have no tips or anything u can just ignore me :)
All you gotta do to achieve good humans with accurate anatomy in your art is to only draw Canadians in the winter
Jokes aside, honestly just practice. There’s no quick and easy trick to do good anatomy, you have to put in the time. Study references, do billions of figure drawings, look at skeletons, bone structures, muscle and fat formations etc.
Dont just practice drawing people standing in the pick your character/sims stance. Draw ‘em walking, playing an instrument, playing a sport, (yoga is a good one for more complex pose practice).
Bear in mind this is coming from an art major, so I probably have snobbish opinions about the « right » way to draw lmao.
And if all else fails, just draw Canadians in winter.
#I don’t really have any good tips#Just practice until you loose all sanity you can’t feel your wrist and it’s 4am#That’s when you know you’re a proper artist /j#Do traditional art for a lot of your practice btw#Digital art is fun#but if you really want to be on that art grind#Then no cheating lol#That means no zooming in#No layers#No « reverse » tool#And no easy digital references#Draw real people!#Quick figure drawings are very fun#Just tell someone to strike a pose and see how much you can draw in one minute#Try not to take ur pencil off ur paper at all for that#Aim for continual line drawing#It will help u in the future#AND NO ERASING IN THAT EXERSISE#Okay maybe I do have advice actually lol#It will translate better than you expect into digital cartoon art trust me
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notebookcast.com was an experience and a half
#bandit's doodles#grian#mumbo jumbo#waffle duo#the whole time I was drawing this I was thinking about having a little grian plush#And now I want to learn to sew#i used to know but I stopped doing it a minute ago#So uh#look out for waffle duo plushes???#idk man I might not follow through but also they would be so cute :(#anyways the website was a pain#i almost just gave up on it to go find another one#But I'm dedicated#I pushed through#You can't zoom in#Theres like 8 colors#It was laggy but that was probably just me in hindsight#thats why the doodles look rushed#i wanted to get outta there ASAP#also the eraser was huge#I couldn't figure out how to change it's size like I could the pencil#Another 4.5/10#Only bangers round these parts#trust
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If Chrome tells me to jump off a cliff, I will simply just jump off a cliff no questions asked
#eintxt#if mkr tells me to jump off a cliff i will simply just push him off the cliff (affectionate)#kinda not online much im so locked in rn#im like 18.5hrs in on this one jfgsfgsdcf THIS IS GONNA BE SO WORTH IT TRUST THE PROCESS EIN#it looks crispy bc its very zoomed in 😭😭#alr done with lineart and most of base colors; it should take me another 5-7hrs max to finish#then the next one should take max 6hrs#if u dont see me in the next few days its bc im cooking hardcore 🫡🫡#might try to post wips in between when i remember to#wait i actually have smth in my drafts i forgor to post i'll check later
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I'm not ashamed to admit I took Carlo out just so I can see him walk and jog in those pants while his bag and Gemini jiggles. (¬////¬)
#lies of p#carlo#i'm valid okay sdfasdf if romeo can ogle at him WHY CANT I??#my gameplay#my video#i am that person who has so many save slots for all endings XD#you may not see it but it's our carlo bb AHHAHAHA#i cannot zoom in on his face so just trust me bro
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okay hear me out, this may be a bit more tin hatish than I normally go but.
I think this Nathan guy faked this screenshot. when I got a closer look at them the font seems too small and when you send links on instagram it normally has like a picture of whatever it is, for this it would be the cover image of the article, but this doesn't have that. on top of that, theres also the fact that they dont follow each other, instagram makes you invite someone to chat if you dont follow each other, so thats suspicious in my opinion. also, wouldn't you think if worm was trolling, he would just say it? This just doesn't make sense to me at all
#jinx's hijinks#also i dont wanna say it in the post but the nathan guy is known for stalking people at airports#i know this might be a stretch but hear me out#the blue messages also have a weird orangish border if you zoom in#idk im just not trusting this#since its not from worm himself i dont believe it
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WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS SUCKER NOT ONLY GOT A NEW DESIGN BUT FUCKING DIED AGAIN EXACTLY 3 PAGES LATERRR
#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the flash#no because my day is immediately ruined when i find out there is a new thawne appearance anywhere in the comics#BUT THE FACT HE DIES IN THE END IS SUCH A GAMECHANGER. I ALWAYS LOVE A NEW RIDICULOUS DEATH.#yeah yeah im extremely weird(it boils down to me not trusting anyone to properly write thawne ever except me and 3 other people who#actually Get Him. like fuck off dc youve done enough harm already. but if he doesnt get to do much and dies? its most in character+funny)#anyway his last words 'b-barry. barry. lets just take a breath-'???? GRHGSGSHTSRRH HE IS. A FUCKING LOSER.#and the hand-through-heart thing WITH THE SPEAR OF DESTINY AROUND?? POETIC#and also. his design. HES IN HIS 'WANNA BE BARRY' PHASE AGAIN ISNT HE#knight terrors: the flash#ngl i havent even read the thing and dont really know the context. im here exclusively for these 4-5 pages featuring the Rat Bastard
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the murderbot au in which political convictions are only ever expressed through novelty mugs continues
#constructs having mugs is just very fun to me. like idk#maybe the comfortunit is trying to pass off as human so its sloshing some warm water around to sell the story better#mb is just collecting mugs to make a point#i was going to say mug mightve been pinlees but she had to get rid of it bc seeing it in the background of her zoom calls made juries trust#her less in murder cases but i do not want to imply the jury system has survived whatever made ppl leave our planet. so idk#maybe it had it made. maybe kylr is really mainstream on preservation#the murderbot diaries#comfortunit#murderbot#my art#mug saga
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i have determined that bimonthly updates are a good pace for me to build up a backlog of chapter drafts, but a horrible pace for audiences remembering the serial exists.
at this point, just trying to get the entire thing drafted as quickly as possible so that i can switch to weekly updates (edits take significantly less time than drafting) and crossing my fingers hoping that there'll be a bit more interest in the beta discord in the next few months. obviously, weekly updates still aren't possible if i can't get any beta feedback at that pace, but... look, book 2 is slated to be about 40-45 chapters, and i do not think anyone wants it to be stretched out over 80+ weeks. holy fuck.
#that's not just me having capitalismbrain--i DO think it'd be fine for an arc to take that long in a vacuum#it's just like. book 1 is DENSE. book 2 takes that density and stretches it out to be more languid--it both zooms in and zooms out#and i think waiting 2 weeks for a chapter update that is mostly taking its sweet time prepping for something in 12 chapters#especially when you don't even have a way to know it's prepping anything except by trusting the author?#i don't know it just seems a bit. not the experience i am going for.#certified dagger original
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“D&D races tier list” “What your favorite FFXIV race says about you” “ranking every fantasy race” stop it stop it stop it stop it STOP IT STOP IT
#every time YouTube tries to recommend me one of these vids I just block the uploader#and it’s always a white dude and the thumbnail is the typical YouTube thumbnail with big text and a zoomed in face#and it always opens with ‘just know that this is meant to be fun and I don’t mean to make fun of anyone’#they then proceed to use that as a shield to shit on basically everyone#and then all the comments are people justifying their harassment of people#people unironically commenting ‘this is why I don’t trust people who play such-and-such race’#like bro STOP LISTEN TO YOURSELF#sorry for the rare negative post but jesus
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Had the experience of hearing my eldest brother basically talking shit about me and going down his 'i'm implying my sibling is an idiot' routine yet again
🙃
#like anyone else have the experience where family members go like 'you're smart' and then#you also at the same time get treated as though you're not actually an autonomous adult who can be trusted to make decisions#like for context my brothers and my dad were in a zoom apt with a psych to help brother 2 out#and it was related to weight stuff#and then yeah i overhear a bunch of shitalking about how i actually apparently don't know what 'healthy' eating is really#and how i shouldn't do the food shopping apparently#and also eldest brother going on about how much i weigh#and it's like... besides the point but i've actually LOST weight in recent times so like FUCK YOU#but yeah i had a REALLY strong urge to come into the room during the appointment to be like HEARD UR TALKING SHIT#but it wouldn't help probably#but also yeah like... fuck you dude#like just... wow nice to know what you REALLY think of me you piece of shit
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I had a category ten autistic moment over a week ago and I'm still not recovered from it 🙄 social anxiety is annoying i just want to embrace my inner freak and move on
#in my defense the anxiety is sort of on a whole nother plane thanks to the nervous system dysreg#like where before i would panic and then eventually over time itd get less#now its like im just stuck living in the immediate panic forever#which is fun#also drugs dont rlly work for me anymore#which is also fun#basically theres a zoom recording of me outing myself as a sex worker now which is just so special when i was trying to ask for advice on#how to like navigate that#and i feel like a pussy for being so upset and anxious about it like where did the hardass give no fucks version of me go#been locked in fight or flight mode for weeks now and idk how to get out of it at this point#and trust me ive tried like...... everything. lots of things. multiple times.#so now im gonna just vent on the internet about it and return to my hiding place aka my bed
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