#zombie clause

[linipikk]

They really spent a lot of time pointing to the second coming for Apolaypse 2 electric boogaloo

all 3 minisodes are about ... humans dying and being brought back to life, or more like, how that is not possible...and how Heaven and Hell have worked around that

In A Companion to Owls, Job kids never died even when they should have, Heaven didn't know enough to distinguish that they were the same children and Sitis quickly got that the miracle was... that their children didn't die to begin with. Once they are dead it is game over and Crowley and Aziraphale refused to let them die

In The Resurrectionists (it is literally called The Resurrectionists!!) and it is how one girl is shot and they can't do anything once she is dead. And Crowley still goes off of his way to make sure the other one doesn't kill herself, risking everything. And we know hell's extreme sanctions are probably what makes him ask for insurance, for holy water. On the other hand, this episode is called The ResurrectionistS, plural, but we meet only one of them ..while in the other side of the sign is Christ himself.

THEN in 1941, we have ZOMBIES, the literal living dead walking around, and Furfur states that he can't make them living people again due to a clause and just leave them as zombies to roam the earth. We see how cursed they are, rotting and bound to eat brains but not human.

EVEN! From episode 1, we get a big Clue: miracles are measured in lazarii, and resurrecting someone is no easy feat. They were telling us to watch out about coming back to life... and how only the mightiest of archangels are able to use that amount of power (or an angel and a demon holding hands...)

and I do want to point out that part of the things Gabriel remembered was this line

Job kids didn't die, in victorian england Wee Morag died falling in the hands of a resurrectionist, and the Germans died and came back- just not quite alive. Every day it is getting closer,

... they are telling us that the second coming is afoot, but they are also showing us that there is no second opportunity on this earth. Once you are dead, you are dead.

and Crowley, in the direst time when Aziraphale is breaking his little demonic heart, says

And now, the plan to resurrect one human to make the end of the world happen is in Aziraphale's hands.

[vidavalor]

The Blitz, Part 3 Theory: The clues that suggest what it might be about & how it's affected what's come after it

I rewatched 2.04/The Blitz, Part 2 last night and a moment stood out to me that made me think I have an idea of what might happen in the flashback we all seem to have collectively agreed is almost certainly in S3-- The Blitz, Part 3.

When Crowley & Aziraphale are in the magic shop and Glozier is there in the background, the camera jumps to a pretty significant reaction shot for Glozier when Aziraphale tells Crowley that he has a Derringer hidden in a hollowed-out book in the bookshop. I think everyone sees that bit as important-- it's a literal Chekhov's gun sitting out there for the future story, after all-- but I was thinking about why it matters that one of the Zombie Nazis overheard this when they're... ya know... zombies. Their methods of murder tend to be a little more direct, yeah? lol What do they need a gun for when they eat people to death? But then it hit me why it will matter that Glozier heard this... it's not about the Zombie Nazis, exactly. It's about Furfur.

When we leave Furfur in 1941, he's just been embarrassed in front of The Dark Council by Aziraphale, who has swapped out the picture of him and Crowley for a flyer for the Ladies of Camelot, right? They literally laugh in Furfur's face. Furfur's entire plot in 1941 is about how he's been stuck in processing for millennia and he's trying to get out of it-- about how he's jealous of Crowley and the few others who get to go to Earth. He's dealt slight after slight after slight during this night in 1941. He fails to get proof against Crowley, who doesn't even remember him. He gets shamed and embarrassed in front of the higher-ups and his peers. His fledging... whatever it is exactly lol... with Shax-- who is the closest thing he has to a friend-- is damaged as she's gone out on a limb for him and he hasn't delivered. Most terrible, he's sure he's never going to get out of his miserable eternity of grunt work. He's *very, very, very* unhappy and boxed into a corner, right? So what does Furfur want, now that he's stuck in Hell forever and all of it is laughing at him?

Revenge. He wants revenge.

In the short term, he also wants someone to scream at, so he goes back up to Earth and finds the Zombie Nazis, who are roaming around London eating people. They can't go very quickly so they haven't gotten far and aren't hard to find lol. Furfur knows it's not exactly their fault that he was tricked by the angel as, technically, they completed the tasks they were given, but he's furious and he needs to vent it, so he starts yelling that he's going to revoke their zombie-life-on-earth clauses. (Even *the Nazi zombies* get to be on Earth and Furfur does not? Yeah, he's not going to be able to handle that...)

The Zombie Nazis, understandably after seeing that video he showed them in Part 2, start freaking out because they don't want that whole fly fate for all of eternity and they don't know how to reach anyone beyond Furfur so they'll do anything to keep Furfur from taking out his humiliation on them. Upon hearing that this is all about how Aziraphale tricked Furfur and got him humiliated by Hell, the Zombie Nazis start desperately suggesting that it's not too late! They can help Furfur still get Crowley and Aziraphale! Even if Hell thinks Furfur is a joke and won't listen to him about the angel and demon being involved, they can still help Furfur get revenge!

They bring Furfur to outside the bookshop to find Crowley and Aziraphale because that's where the Zombie Nazis say they saw them together earlier & they know Aziraphale lives there. Furfur's in a rage because through a side window, he's observing Crowley and Aziraphale drinking wine together by candlelight in what is the "I know you'd come through for me" scene from Part 2-- and Aziraphale even has the photo Furfur took of them earlier in his hand. (Insert here more of the recurring gag about Harmony lip-reading as now he's also looking through the window and probably gets a line like "he is saying it again! 'banana fish go-RILL-ah...'").

So Furfur is in a fur-furious rage here and is ready to murder these two but... there's just one *slight* problem...

He's a demon.

He can't get into the bookshop.

Aziraphale would have to invite him in and he's certainly not going to after their meeting earlier. But! This is when Furfur and the Nazis realize that there is someone in their group who *can* get in the bookshop...

....our fave fascist, Fraulein Greta Klauschmidt.

As "Rose", Greta recruited Aziraphale-- entering his bookshop when she was a human, invited in by Aziraphale. She can still get into the bookshop. (It's also a parallel to Shax tricking Aziraphale into letting her into The Bentley in S2.)

Once Furfur and the Nazis realize this, the question then becomes: okay, so if Greta can get into the shop, how is she then going to kill Aziraphale and Crowley? (*Especially* Aziraphale, whom Furfur really, really, really loathes at this point lol.)

This is when we go back to the scene that triggered this meta, which is that this is when Glozier then volunteers the information he overheard in the magic shop-- that there's a Chekhov's gun in the bookshop.

The Derringer works as a weapon here to do that because, as Furfur himself pointed out during the magic show earlier, if Crowley had shot Aziraphale in the face, it wouldn't just be paperwork but it might not be possible for them to "put him back together again"-- indicating that there are some things that can happen to angels and demons that are irreversible and can effectively kill them, more or less-- and a gunshot to the head is one of them.

(I'm also realizing as I'm writing this that that Glozier's *ear* falling off in the magic shop is another nod to him having *heard* important information and so far, we've only seen half of what he heard pay off-- the time and location of Aziraphale's performance in the West End. We're still awaiting pay off of the gun bit.)

My bet is that Aziraphale's Derringer in a hollowed out book is something he actually *showed "Rose" like the cinnamon roll idiot that he is* lol... so once Glozier brings it up, Greta remembers and she knows what book it's in and exactly where it is in the shop.

So Furfur still cannot get in but Greta can get in... which means Greta is now the most powerful character here. If Furfur wants Aziraphale dead, Greta can make that happen... *if* they cut a deal. What kind of deal? Well, the only thing Greta is going to want that she thinks that Furfur could give her is to not be a zombie, right? To be alive again? Reverse the clause in the paperwork and give her her life back. Whether or not Furfur can actually do this (and I'm not sure if he can or not, really, but I'd wager probably not), Furfur tells Greta that he can and she and the other Nazis believe him.

The plan is that the four of them go to the bookshop, where Furfur activates a miracle blocker card for a few hours surrounding the shop in an effort to limit Crowley and Aziraphale's powers and give the Zombie Nazis the advantage. Once the miracle blocker is in place, Greta goes inside while Harmony and Glozier make noise outside, in an effort to separate Crowley and Aziraphale to make it easier to kill them by attempting to lure one of them outside. Greta is to kill the one that stays inside the bookshop while Harmony and Glozier are supposed to kill the one that goes outside. (This will not happen according to plan at all, whatsoever, but it does seem like the most likely plan these four characters could form where they all have a role in it.)

So because Greta is the only one who can get inside, she has go to into the bookshop and be the one who can kill, most likely in their mind, Aziraphale. She'll still be a staggering zombie when the extremely bright Furfur sends her in there to obtain and fire a gun at a pair of supernatural beings lol but she manages to sneak in the back door without Crowley and Aziraphale really hearing the breaking & entering... or whatever noises the other two are making outside... as Crowley and Aziraphale are a little busy gazing at one another.

It would actually be a really funny, very Good Omens-y gag IMHO, if Greta is colossally unsubtle in entering the other side of the shop from where Crowley & Aziraphale are and is banging into stuff while Harmony and Glozier keep coming up with more and more insane noises outside... but Crowley and Aziraphale are too busy making heart eyes at one another to care or do anything about it. A very "did you... hear that?"/"oh, must be the war, let's go back to gazing" type of attitude with a steadily increasing series of sounds that are harder and harder to dismiss but they are trying, ok? lol. (This would also parallel Aziraphale ignoring the demons outside for as long as he could during The Ball in S2, until the bookshop begins literally breaking around them.)

So while we watch scenes of Furfur and The Zombie Nazis Hatch A Plot, the relationship tension between Crowley & Aziraphale is building as much as the plot tension. They intercut Furfur & the Nazis scenes with Crowley & Aziraphale having quiet, romantic, candlelit glasses of wine after their very intense and illuminating evening together. Each time we go back to Crowley & Aziraphale... they seem to be getting increasingly cozier. They sit a little closer, they get a little looser around one another. Crowley's glasses might come off. We get the sense that this is all Going Somewhere and it's somewhere they've never let themselves go before but after the events of Blitz 1 & 2 tonight? It's becoming increasingly clear to them that they will. There's virtual certainty that if *nothing else happens* to these two tonight and they're just left alone for once, they're at least going to kiss and what we're watching is them slowly enjoying the path there and them enjoying silently knowing that they're going to.

At some point, we hop from the Nazis back over to Aziraphale asking Crowley if he'd like a little music... Aziraphale might even have something *modern* kicking around, he's excited to tell Crowley (like he might have been totally not at all fantasizing about this exact Crowley-dashing-in-his-suit-with-a-glass-of-wine-smoldering-in-the-bookshop scenario when he bought this record from Maggie's grandfather recently lol)... and he goes over to the gramophone to put it on and now we've got Crowley and Aziraphale with candlelight and wine and music and they're each just taking step after slow little step that slowly acknowledges the romance at play here. Aziraphale's record is probably Glenn Miller. We know he likes big band and The Bentley played him "Moonlight Serenade" in S2 and Glenn Miller also recorded "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square", so it's one record where "Moonlight" could play and then, eventually, so too could "Nightingale" without Aziraphale getting up and moving away from Crowley... and you better believe that when we get to "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" playing that Crowley and Aziraphale are a literal breath away from kissing.

It'd be completely perfect to them, right? Very romantic. They're there together, alone, they've survived the Nazis and Mrs. H and threats of Hell and have spent the night gazing at one another and now they're here and it's quiet and there's candlelight and it's the familiar, comforting bookshop that is home for both of them... the same place, ironically, that they will drink wine together and make eyes at one another *for decades* after this night-- without Aziraphale putting on The Song, of course-- and you know they will think about 1941 every. single. time. while never actually recreating it.

(It's also why, when they're both wasted in the bookshop in S1's "Eleven Years Ago", Crowley is rambling on about bananas and gorillas and bouillabaisse/fish stew-- ya know, "banana fish gorilla..."-- and they're both so drunk and thinking about how they're almost out of time... and so they're both thinking of 1941 and wind up making those hilarious kissy faces at one another because they both obviously still want to actually kiss some 80 years after the night they almost did. Crowley also calls Aziraphale "baby" in the middle of his ramble. He might have called Aziraphale that in 1941, when they weren't drunk and were on their way to kissing. He also might have just wanted to, so it turned up in "Eleven Years Later" and might come up again later on in the present of S3, whenever they inevitably get to finally have a decent, uninterrupted, not painful kiss.)

Back in 1941, as we flip between Furfur/The Nazis and our heroes, maybe Crowley's even gotten comfortable enough to lose the glasses (though he can leave them on if he still has the hat on when they go to kiss so that he can take the hat off like a gentleman to kiss Aziraphale *swoon* and actually that's how Aziraphale died everyone surprise twist he's been dead since 1941 an a ghost this whole time lol)... and there's romantic big band on the record player and there was magic in the air and angels were dining at the Ritz when a nightingale sang in Bahhhrrrrk. Leeeeee. Square... and they're *almost* there, right? They're basically kissing. There is no way for either of them to ever legitimately pretend that was not was going to happen (even if they will try in the future lol) as their lips were a millimeter away and both of them want it and just like this and it's been six thousand years of pining and so, of course, that is when...

...Greta zombie-crashes into the room with Aziraphale's once-hidden Derringer aimed at them.

(Aziraphale's probably furiously muttering "oh good Lord" under his breath with a very different tone than in 1793 lol. That is his attitude, at least, if not the dialogue.)

So then they have to try to protect one another right and it's mild chaos for a moment as like Crowley starts looking out the window at Furfur and the rest of the Zombie Nazi Trio (paralleling his demons-outside-the-bookshop paranoia in S2) and realizes they were the noise while Greta is all "pity you both must die" again with a little smirk and Aziraphale is trying to calm her down and reason with her while also subtly trying to get close enough to get the gun and she probably fires but she's a zombie so she misses lol and he's like glancing over for Crowley and Crowley seems to disappear for a moment while Aziraphale stalls Greta and just when we think where the hell did Crowley go?! Aziraphale is about to be shot in the face!...

...Greta is shot in the face instead.

By Crowley.

With The Bullet Catcher.

And the bullet that was in Aziraphale's teeth a couple of hours ago.

Crowley has not so much has blown the fluff off a dandelion since he arrived on Earth six thousand years ago but you interrupt his first kiss with the angel and you. are. dead, you Nazi bitch...

I don't have a theory as to what happens after this beyond that we already know that Furfur is in Requisitions in the present now so he's going places lol. Also worth mentioning that Crowley or Aziraphale (I'd lean towards Crowley) could get shot by Greta's wild aim when they are trying to protect one another but it would be more of a graze that one could write a hundred h/c fics over than anything worth actually worrying about lol. It could be something like Crowley gets nicked but goes down as dramatically as he does in the paintball scene in S1 and Aziraphale is horrified but also fighting for his own life so he winds up focused on Greta and neither of them see Crowley slip away to come back with The Bullet Catcher... something like that. I'm just pretty sure that the fact that there are really *two* Chekhov's guns in the bookshop and that Greta is the only 1941 antagonist who can get inside it maths out to Crowley-- shooting her with The Bullet Catcher.

I'm not sure what happens to Harmony and Glozier. Aziraphale says in S1 that he's never killed anything so he can't kill anyone here and while I'm fine with Crowley mowing down Nazis with every Chekhov's gun left in the plot lol, I don't know that that's what happened or if, honestly, the two of them and Furfur just see Greta die through the window and run off. Maybe Aziraphale miracles the Nazis to Siberia. Who knows. But the main gist of it, I think, is that Crowley kills Greta when the Zombie Nazis and Furfur try to exact revenge on Crowley & Aziraphale and, in doing so, interrupt what would have been their first kiss and it's while "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" is on in the background so that every time the song comes up in the future, it's a reference to this near-kiss in 1941, adding layers to scenes from Soho 1967 to the end of S1 to the end of S2, etc...

Kind of makes Crowley desperately kissing Aziraphale in the middle of the bookshop while a vengeful Heaven, this time, is trying to separate them, even more aldkjlkfjlewje, yeah?

I'd also like to just throw in here that it's actually possible that all of this is the same but they *did* kiss... that they were kissing when Greta burst in. Part of me really wants that to be the case. That maybe they did get to have this kiss, if only because even if only a tenth of what I've said above is anywhere close to right, it's still pretty romantic and it would be nice if they got to have that, especially then, even if it was ultimately interrupted. It's Soho 1967, though, that convinced me that they came *very* close but ultimately didn't (and honestly, the only way they don't in 1941 if they get that close is if they're interrupted and an armed Zombie Nazi crashing through the bookshop feels about right lol.) It's this bit from Aziraphale to me that says they almost kissed but didn't:

The picnic was likely Crowley's 1827 date in Edinburgh. The Gabriel statue was there for amusement but you know Crowley had a picnic set up nearby. (It's not that weird-- people used to picnic in graveyards in the 1800s & the only time Crowley & Aziraphale would be able to together would be under the cover of darkness.) Then, they ran into Elspeth and the night took a turn. (Elspeth was also digging up bodies from graves, which is a parallel to zombies, hooking 1827 to 1941.) Dining at the Ritz-- literally going to The Ritz and eating together, which they do twice in S1-- is something Aziraphale would literally like to go do as a date as but it's also code in the 1967 scene for "perhaps, one day, we could finish 1941." He's telling Crowley in 1967 that he would still very much like to kiss him one day.

The near-kiss in 1941 would then also be what gives Aziraphale the motivation to eventually give Crowley the holy water in 1967. Back in 1863, Aziraphale didn't totally see that Crowley wanted holy water to protect them. By 1941, when they're staring at the corpse of a once-Zombie Nazi on the floor of the bookshop that Crowley just killed with the gun that's in his hands, it's a different sort of proof. 1941 becomes the era of 'here is proof that Crowley will literally kill to protect Aziraphale' and maybe it freaks Aziraphale out a little (as well as also turning him on a lot lol). Maybe that's why they spend the next years after that until the '60s together but not really together. Maybe that's why they don't have another chance at the kiss after 1941-- why they don't just try again-- because Aziraphale slows down a bit after it, afraid that Crowley could get hurt and that this is too dangerous, but he also understands now that Crowley is in love with him and when he hears in 1967 that Crowley is going after Holy Water, Aziraphale just gives him some, as a way of saying that he knows they're in love but this is impossible and they need to not pursue this in a way that will get them killed because he can't lose him.

A near-kiss in 1941 adds layers to 1967 Soho by adding an additional meaning of 'physical intimacy' to "dining at the Ritz". It adds even more weight to the end of S2 and the kiss and the "no nightingales" through to the Tori Amos angsty cover of "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" in The Bentley. There are other scenes (the end of S1 and others) that it touches as well, if indirectly, but maybe my favorite is this scene, which has already been given extra layers of meaning since The Blitz, Part 2 and The Bullet Catcher plot but lol now add in the idea that the rest of the story is that Crowley and Aziraphale were going to kiss and they were interrupted in the moment, shot at with at least one of them probably getting nicked, and then Crowley killed someone with The Bullet Catcher and tell me it doesn't make this already amazing sequence even more amazing:

[tarottsi]

evil scientist! y/n and her zombie harem.

you were given the task of making a new drug. something more powerful than any steroids to produce a super soldier for the military. and you’ve finally made a successful batch, which was bought by two Private MilItary Corporations— Kortac and SpecGru.

It gave them super strength, speed, less fatigue, and heightened abilities. But once they die— to die like most men do— their corpse was brought in body bags to your laboratory. it was a fine clause in your agreement with working for the military.

but they didn’t know the other effect you had over their soldiers. after a few hours, their bodies were reanimated into something half alive and half dead. a good part of their consciousness was enough to process thought and maintain speech. while the other half has made their bodies move to follow your orders.

they were like the previous lab rats. all of them yours, as you formulated the serum to bond with their creator.

one of the zombies crawl on all fours as they yearn for your affection—your warmth— as compared to their cold cadaver. this one was the one you were most fond of, and you kept them by your side… forever…

[clockworkouroboros]

One of the best parts of Gallifrey is the fact that it’s supposed to be Doctor Who meets The West Wing, which means political drama and intrigue but also means body swaps, the ghosts of christmas past present and future wreaking political havoc, a zombie apocalypse, a vampire/werewolf au, sexy evil alternate universe versions of the main characters, characters who are not just metaphorically slugs but also literally. there’s a stupidity clause. brax is simultaneously so down bad for romana and so realistic about it that his make believe daydream marriage proposal to her ends in rejection. one of the most important plots of the first three seasons hinges on a nokia cell phone. the robot dog can legally officiate weddings.

[ginnysgraffiti]

@pmak2002

REQUEST :

sick timothée with female reader as caretaker.

&. TIMOTHÉE x yn.

your boyfriend's conditions were absolutely new to you.

it wasn't usual for him to get sick, and you weren't prepared to see him wandering around the house like a zombie, stuffed like a burrito in his oversized sweatshirt and with a snot in his nose.

in reality it was precisely thanks to the snot that you became aware of his presence once you stepped in: he continued to sniff, so much that his nose became red and cold like that of santa clause's reindeer.

you couldn't help but notice how much he was shaking.

"baby...hey." managed he, sniffling once more to get back into the sniffling rhythm.

you dared a few steps forward, assuming the fever had to be high to reduce him that way.

timothée stepped back quickly, his head lolling from side to side as if it weighed more than his entire body.

"n-n...no...d...d-d-don't move. i could...g..gi..ve you a fever" his words were limp, forced, and his breath smelled of medicine.

"baby, come on-"

timothée stepped back again, however this time he had to hold on to the bathroom handle to avoid collapsing.

he looked as if retching could overtake him at any moment...

you felt like he was about to groan in protest when you suddenly moved closer, grabbing him tightly so he remained standing. your boyfriend acknowledged defeat and groaned something in surrender.

he was looking at you with such puppy eyes that you spent a bit longer to admire his face.

his little mustache had recently grown but the contrast with the soft and fluffy nest that was his messy hair made him seem tiny, pocket seized.

since the moment you revealed him you loved his mustache at a classic italian-restaurant dinner he had really considered the idea of letting it grow a bit more, and you could tell.

his presence was still jelly and unstable so you used your own weight as his balance support and miraculously managed to take him to the bedroom.

once on the mattress you made sure to give him more pillows, so that he wouldn't puke or anything due to random inconveniences.

you came back with a few antibiotics, while your left hand has already placed a little bag of ice wrapped with a cloth to keep on his forehead.

after a succession of sudden coughs and other intrusive snot, you managed to give him the antibiotic.

your boyfriend wrinkled his nose and curled his tongue.

"i know it tastes bad baby, just be patient."

timmy moaned something in response, probably too dizzy to even realise who he was talking to.

you let him be like that for half an hour, gradually checking the fever and body temperature.

once it seemed stabilized enough you cuddled yourself under the blankets next to him, resting your head on his stomach.

he whispered a weak 'thanks babe' and a grin left his lips.

you stroked his curls to massage his temples a bit, so that he could sleep peacefully and return back to his energetic-chaotic timmy you loved.

( i'll be working on your other requests soon! )

[promptsforpoemproseandplay]

writing tips

Recognizing passive voice can be hard for some people, but here’s how I do it. If you can insert ‘by zombies’ at the end and the clause still makes sense, it’s passive. For example;

active: I ate the cake by zombies (it doesn’t work)

passive: the cake was eaten by zombies (works!)

~Nyx

[justwhisperingfantasies]

I Can't Let You Go Prt 2

Characters: Sam Winchester x Female Reader, Dean Winchester, Castiel. Bobby Singer. Crowley. Death. Lucifer. Adam. Michael. Mention of other SPN characters.

Warnings: Language, Fluff, Angst, Hurt Dean, Sam, Reader, Bobby, and Cas. Guns, Cannon violence. Cannon with a twist. Let me know if I forgot any.

Summary: You have known Sam Winchester most of your life. He was your best friend and you were completely in love with him. The day after he decides to take on Lucifer and put him back in the cage is the day he finally makes himself tell you how he truly feels about you.

Word count: 6,364 words

A/N: I know it's been a while, I had a hard time writing this because I knew where it was headed. Sorry for the wait. Hope ya'll enjoy it. 💗

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You woke in the familiar room alone. You looked around and saw your duffle in the corner. Sam must have brought it up for you. You walked over and opened it. You found a clean pair of jeans and a gray V-neck shirt. Eh, that will work you thought. 

“Rise and shine,” Sam said as he walked in the door holding a cup of coffee. 

“Mmmm Thank you,” you said then sipped. “Oh, Dean coffee.”

He chuckled as he sat down on the bed. “Actually I made Dean show me how to make the “world’s best coffee”. He playfully mocked you. 

You squinted your eyes at him” Watch it, Winchester.”

You closed the door and started changing. Sam let out a whistle and you rolled your eyes. He waited until you got dressed then grabbed you pulling you down to straddle him. You twisted your fingers in his hair as you kissed his lips. His arms wrapped tightly around you as he laid his head on your shoulder. Your arms hugged around his neck. 

“So what's on the agenda for today?” 

“Well, Dean and Crowley are going to confront death and the rest of us will stop this pharm company.” He explained the virus outbreak and the vaccines. 

“And we trust Crowley now?!”

“I don’t think we have a choice. Plus he seems to want Lucifer back in the cage as much as we do.”

. “I guess. So when are we leaving?”

“Tonight.”

“Alright. We should get everything ready.” 

“Yeah probably.” he agreed but neither of you let go. 

“Sam.” 

“Yeah, Yeah,” he sighed as he squeezed you and then loosened his arms. You stood up and bent back down giving him a quick kiss making him smile. 

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As you tossed the last bag in your truck Dean shut the Impala trunk. “Alright, well good luck stopping the zombie apocalypse,” he said 

“Yeah, Good luck killing death,” Sam replied. You could see the worry in their eyes. Sam chuckled. “Do you remember when we used to just hunt Wendigos? Back when everything was simple?”

“Ha. Not really.” Dean smiled. 

“Yeah, well you might need this,” Sam said holding out the demon blade to Dean. 

“Actually, Dean is covered,” Crowley said popping out of thin air. Holding out a scythe to Dean. “Deaths own, known to kill demons, angels, reapers, and rumored to kill the very thing itself. 

“Where did you get that?” Cas asked 

“I'm the king of the crossroads. Remember?” Crowley smiled.  “Bobby you just going to sit there?”

“No, I’m gonna river dance?!” Bobby sneered. 

“Oh, Bobby. You really wasted that deal. ” everyone looked at Crowley confused. “You get more if you phrase it properly,” he explained how he added a tiny sub-a clause for Bobby. “So, just gonna sit there?”

Bobby moved his feet. Everyone looked at him in disbelief. Then he stands up. “ Son of a bitch!” he remarks. Everyone smiled at him. 

“Yes, completely worth your soul. I know I’m a hell of a guy.” Crowley smiled.

“Thanks,” Bobby said truly meaning it. 

“Yes, can we go?” Crowley asked walking to the passenger side of the Impala.

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As Bobby drove, Sam sat next to you explaining his plan to Cas.

“That's an interesting plan,” Castiel said after thinking about it for a second. 

“That's a word for it.” Bobby scoffed. 

“Not the one I would use.” You said. Sam put his hand on your thigh for comfort.

“Go ahead Cas. Tell me it's the worst plan you've ever heard,” he said playfully squeezing your leg. 

“Well I could, but that’s not what I think,” Cas said. 

“Really?!” you and Sam said at the same time. 

“ You and Dean have exceeded my expectations time and time again, he resisted Michael maybe you could beat Lucifer,” Cas explained. “However since Adam said yes, if you say yes, then fail. The fight will happen, and the collateral will be immense.”

You felt Sam’s body stiffen beside you. You grabbed Sam’s hand and placed it in your lap lacing your fingers together. 

“And then there’s the demon blood,” Cas said.

“Wait what are you talking about?!” You asked

“ To take on Lucifer, Sam would have to consume more than he ever has. It strengthens the vessel. Keeps it from exploding.” Cas explained. 

“But the guy he's in now…” Sam started. 

“Is drinking gallons.” Castiel cut him off.

“No fucking way!” you said. 

“Yeah. How is this not the worst plan you've ever heard?” Bobby looked at Castiel. 

Sam’s jaw tightened and you could see in his face how difficult this was for him. Taking his hand out of yours he placed his face in his palms.  “Sam..”

“Let's just get this done and we can all argue when we get back to Bobby’s. Okay?” Sam cut you off in a harsh tone, you turned and looked out your window blinking back tears. 

The rest of the ride was complete silence. 

You guys finally reached Niveus Pharmaceuticals and staked out the place for a bit. 4 yellow semi trucks were being loaded on a truck dock. While observing  Bobby went over the plan. “ they are loading the hot shots now. The first truck doesn't leave for an hour. We get in plant the c-4 then pull the fire alarm.”

“Um, that truck is leaving.” Castiel points. 

“Balls! Ok, new plan.”

Cas runs to the escaping truck. As the driver tries to slide his key card to unlock the gate Castiel knocks him out causing his head to land on the horn. The demons on the dock all look up. 

“It’s the Winchesters.” one of them said as he started pulling down and locking the doors.

“Well then let’s cook up something for them,” the other demon said ripping into a box of vaccines.   You, Sam, and Bobby run to the dock doors, but you are too late.

“Side door!” Bobby yells. As you approach the side door you can hear people inside banging on the door and yelling for help. 

“Get Back” you yell and you shoot the lock on the door. The people ran out frightened. The 3 of you walk in guns drawn.  You hear grunting and some thumping. You and Sam look to Bobby. He slides the backpack of explosives off his shoulders and Sam does the same. Bobby signals you guys to follow him. You round a corner of shelves to find 6 humans infected with the Croatoan virus ripping a guy to shreds. 6 pairs of red eyes turn to you. You cock your cocks at the same time. You guys manage to take them all out before they reach you.

“HELP ME!!” a woman nearby screams. 

“There's still people in here,” Sam says as he starts to walk in the direction of the screams. 

“Sam wait,” you said 

“Take this and stay here.” He says handing you the demon blade. 

“Damnit,” you said as you took the blade.  Sam continues into the warehouse aiming his shotgun. 

Bobby turns to face you. “(y/n) behind you.”

You turn around and there’s a demon. You stab him in his side with the blade killing him. 

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“Hey, do you think we can stop for pizza?” Crowley asked Dean as they walked up to an abandoned building. 

“Are you kidding?!” 

“Just heard it was good.” He pointed at the barn ahead. “He’s in there.”

“How do you know?”

“Have you met me? I know. Plus the block is squirming with reapers.” Crowley said as he looked around. “I’ll be right back.” and Crowley disappeared.  

Two seconds later he reappeared. “Boy, is my face red. He's not in there.”

“You wana cut the bullshit and tell me where he is?” Dean snapped

“Sorry, I'm not sure. We can catch him in the next doomed city.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Bobby sold his soul for this?”

“Don't worry there’s a return policy.” Crowley ensured him. 

“Millions crowley! Millions of people are going to die any minute now.” Dean yelled.

“Yeah, so I suggest we get out of here!” Crowley said as he walked away. 

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Back at the pharm warehouse, you started to get anxious. You began to walk in the direction Sam went. 

“(y/n) He will be fine. “

“Bobby,” you were cut off by the sounds of gunshots. You took off  in his direction, but stopped when you saw Sam bringing  victims around the corner, 

“Help them,” Sam said to you. You drew your gun and escorted them to the door. 

“All clear” Sam concluded. 

You looked to the left and saw an infected worker charging for Sam.  “Sam watch out!” but you were too late. You started running toward them. The worker jumped on Sam causing him to fall on his back. The worker was on top of Sam choking him full force. Bobby raised his gun, but it was empty. You slid and put the end of your sawed-off shotgun barrel on the worker's forehead and pulled the trigger. Blood went everywhere. Sam started gasping for air.  You laid your arms and head down with a sigh.

“You good?” you asked Sam. 

“Yeah, “ He got out once he caught his breath.

“Good, Can we  commit our act of domestic terrorism now?” Bobby asked starting to walk toward the backpacks you laid down earlier. 

Sam got up and put his hand out offering to help you up. You took it, and you were on your feet so fast it made your head spin a little.  “Let's go,” he said. 

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Dean made his way back to the Impala. Crowley was already sitting in the passenger seat. Dean got in the driver's seat. “So what?” he said with a groan. “ Bomb threats? How the hell do I get 3 million people out of Chicago in the next 10 minutes?” He looked over to Crowley for advice, but he was gone.  Dean looked around. “Fuck!” Dean snapped then looked across the street.  Crowley was pointing in a pizzeria mouthing “I found him” 

“What? I can't hear you.” Dean said aloud and threw up his hands. 

“I said I found him,” Crowley said as he popped back into the passenger seat making Dean jump. “ He is in there.” Crowley pointed again.

Dean got out. “You coming..” he said as he turned around, Crowley was gone again, “ I guess not.”  He made his way over to the pizzeria. Cautiously and Quietly Dean walked through the front door.  There was a waitress behind the bar sitting on the floor, dead. Two men sitting at a table both of their faces in a half-eaten pizza, dead.  A younger waitress lying on the floor in the middle of the room, dead. Dean shook his head but kept going. He entered the next room. More Dead bodies sprawled out on the floor. He looked up to a man sitting at a table looking out the window. Sythe in hand Dean crept toward the man. The sythe got hotter the closer he got. As he dropped it on the floor he could feel the blister from the burn forming. There was a loud clanking sound as it hit the ground. 

“Thanks for returning that,” the man said.  Dean looked up at him. The man just stared out the window, Dean looked back down to find the Sythe had disappeared, “Join me, Dean.” Dean looked back up at the man. It was now sitting on the table beside the man’s plate. “The pizza is delicious!” Dean still cautious walked over. 

The man was cutting up a piece of pizza. Not looking up from his plate “ Sit down. I think we need to have a chat.”

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Somehow you got Bobby to let you drive back to his house. It was nice having to focus on the road rather than all the apocalypse shit that was going on. It was still too quiet though. You turned the radio on and popped in a mixed CD. Johnny Cash started playing. You turned the volume up a little. You peeked in the backseat to see if you woke Bobby or Cas.

“I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down. Down. Down. And the flames went higher.

You looked over at Sam. He was looking at you with wide eyes. “ Oh my god. I’m sorry, I didn't even think about it when it started playing. “ your cheeks got hot. 

“ I was wondering how long it was gonna take.” he chuckled.  

As you hit the next button on the CD player you hit a bump causing your finger to hit the button a couple of times. Highway to hell by AC/DC started playing. “Shit!” you quickly turned the radio off. “We don't need music.”

Sam chuckled and it made you smile.  “But you hate driving without music.” He turned the radio back on and skipped the song. Changes By Tupac started playing and your head started bobbing. He hit the skip button again. 

“Hey,” you said 

Misunderstanding by Genesis started to play.  “ You know your music taste is baffling,” he said smiling. 

“Not baffling. It’s diverse.”

He chuckled. “ Whatever you say, princess.” you smiled. 

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“He just gave it to you?!”  you yelled from under your truck as you put the oil drain plug back in its hole. You slid out from under the truck and stood up, wiping the oil off your hands with a rag.  You walked over to the table Dean was sitting at. All 4 rings were lying in front of him. 

Dean held a beer out for you. “ With one condition,” he said. You took the beer and opened it. He took a drink of his. 

“ Well spit it out.” you took a drink.

“ Sam says yes and puts Lucifer back in the cage.”

“Oh. Of course.” 

You guys turned as you heard something slide across the floor by the garage door.

“Bobby,” Dean said. “How’d it go at the Rockette’s audition?”

Bobby laughed. “Kicks were too low. Maybe next year.” You and Dean smiled. “I've been just walking up and down the stairs for no damn reason. I’m kinda sore.” he laughed and sat across the table from Dean. 

“Watch this,” Dean said as he put the rings in a particular order. 1 in the middle the other 3 circled it. He slid the one closest to him up toward the 1 in the middle and the other 2 rings moved automatically toward the center. 

“So, Death told you how to operate them? The whole deal?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah. It’s freaking crazy.” Dean took a drink “ I have a bigger problem now though.”

“Like?” Bobby asked. You walked back over to your truck and started pouring oil into it. 

“What do you think would happen if someone lied To Death's face?”

“Probably nothing good. What did you tell him?”

“That I wouldn't stand in the way of Sam jumping in the pit.”

“So Death thinks Sam should say yes?”

“He said Sam was the only human that stood a chance against Lucifer.”

“Well you didn't tell me that part,” you said as you threw the empty oil jug in the trash can and walked back over to the table. 

“Of course, he would say that. He works for Lucifer.”

“Against his Will.” You shot back

“Well, we should probably take his word with a big fat grain of fucking salt. I mean he is Death.”

“Exactly he is death.” You said 

“Think of the bird's eye view” Bobby chimed in and you nodded. 

“Seriously?” Dean was getting irritated, 

“I'm just sayin,” Bobby said holding up his hand. 

“Well don’t!” 

“Look.  I know Sam has some flaws, but…” Bobby paused, 

“But?” Dean asked. 

“Back at Niveus. I watched that kid pull one civilian out after another, He must have saved over 10 people. With the help of (y/n),” Bobby nodded at you. “ He never stopped, never slowed down. We’re hard on him, Dean. We always have been. Meanwhile,  He’s been saving people since he was what 12?”

“Pretty much yea,” Dean confirmed.

“Sam has a darkness in him, yes. But he’s got a hell of a lot of good too.” 

“I know that!”

“Then you know Sam will beat the devil or die trying.” Bobby looked at you and then back at Dean. “ And that's the best we can ask for. So I gotta ask you two. What exactly are you guys afraid of? Losing? Or losing Sam?”

You walked out of the garage and looked up to find Sam sitting on the hood of the Impala. You started walking toward him. You knew everything Bobby said was true. You knew there was no going back or trying to talk Sam out of this. It was going to happen. All you could do was enjoy the time you had left. 

“Heeeeyy, You come here often big boy?” you said in a cheesy voice.

He smiled. “Only when you're here hot stuff.” you smiled “Want a beer?” you shook your head.

You took a deep breath. “Look I know I've been a pain in the ass about the whole Lucifer, Cage thing and I’m sorry. I know how hard this has been on you. My attitude and fighting haven't made it any better.”

“I get it. Trust me” He sighed “I let him out (y/n). All the shit that's happened, it’s on me. I have to make this right and put him back in the cage before more people die.”

“Ok.”

“OK?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. I understand and I’m not gonna fight it anymore. Even though I fucking hate it with every ounce of my soul.”

“I know. I really am sorry I probably shouldn’t have called and let this all happen. I feel like I led you on in a way.”

“Well, you didn’t and I’m glad you called. I would of rather it have gone like this than never knowing how you felt,” you confessed.

He grabbed you and pulled you over to him. He wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed your lips. Your arms wrapped around his neck. He rested his forehead against yours.

“(y/n) can you promise me something?” he whispered. 

“Maybe.”

“If I do this. If I win and jump into the cage..” He paused “You and Dean can't try to bring me back.”

“Excuse me?”

“Seriously Babe. What if you start rattling the cage and you let him out again?”

“Sam, I can't just let you rot in a cage with the devil for eternity.”

“You can’t risk it.” your jaw tightened. Damn it, He was right. 

“Please?”

“Fine.”

You heard Dean clear his throat behind you” Get a room.”

Sam laughed. 

“Heya (y/n) can I get a minute with Sam?” 

“Yep.” you gave Sam a peck on the cheek then bent down grabbed a beer and walked away. 

“Hey!” both Winchesters said at the same time. You looked back and stuck your tongue out at them. 

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You pulled up to the abandoned warehouse and saw Bobby standing at the back of his van looking at newspapers. You parked your truck and walked over to him. 

“Hey kiddo, How you holdin' up?”

“Bout the same. Anything good?” 

“Couple things that stood out.” you both turned as you heard the warehouse doors open. Your stomach went queasy when you saw Sam and Castiel holding gallon jugs of blood. Sam’s eyes met yours and he hesitated at the steps. Dean walked up behind him. Sam lowered his head and continued to the Impala. You looked back at the papers Bobby was holding. Dean walked over to you and Bobby. 

“Bobby I just can’t get used to you at eye level.” Bobby gave him a smirk. “(y/n) how ya doin' sweetheart?”

“Just peachy,” you said in a sarcastic tone. 

Dean sighed, “Yeah. You don’t have…” 

“Save it, Dean. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.”

He nodded and then looked at Bobby. “Well, Yoda you were right. 2 stunt demons in there just like you said.”

“Did you get it?” Bobby asked. 

“Yeah. All the go juice Sammy can drink. “Dean replied. Your stomach turned again. 

“You ok?” you asked Dean. 

“Not really. Did you guys find anything?”

“Do these look like omens to you?” Bobby handed Dean the papers as he read the headlines out loud. “Cyclone in Florida, Temperature drop in Detriot, Wildfires in L.A…”

“Wait, Detriot?” you asked as Dean and you looked at each other and then back at Bobby. 

Bobby’s eyebrows furrowed. “ the temps dropped about 20 degrees, but only in a 5-block radius of downtown Motown.”

“That's the one.” Dean tossed the newspapers in the back of Bobby’s van. “He’s in Detriot.”

“You sure?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah. He’s sure.” you chimed in. You looked over at Sam. The sadness on his face made your stomach twist. You looked back at Bobby. “Van or truck?”

“You think your truck will be okay here?” 

“Should be. If not I know a guy that has a scrap yard. I’ll just fix another one up.” They both smiled. “ I just gotta grab my stuff.” and turned to walk back to your truck. 

You opened the back seat and leaned in to grab your duffle. You felt Sam behind you. “ you know you shouldn’t sneak up on a hunter.” he stayed silent. “Sammy, you ok?” you asked as you turned around and your heart broke. He stood there with his hands in his jacket pockets. Lips drawn in a tight line. His eyebrows pulled up and together. His eyes were so full tears were almost spilling out. You wrapped your arms around him as tight as you could. His arms wrapped around your shoulders.

“ you sure about this?” you asked.

“Yes. I have to.”

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The ride with Bobby was silent. Neither of you wanted to talk about what happened next. 

Both cars parked in an alley across the street from a building in the middle of the temperature-dropped zone. You and Bobby found Lucifer’s hiding place. A dingy dirt dirt-covered white two-story house. 

“We found it. At least 2 dozen demons on guard.” he pointed in the direction. “ Our guess is he’s in there. 

“Alright then, (y/n) Give me a hand would ya?” Dean said as he nodded to the back of the Impala. You followed Dean. He popped the trunk. Your stomach twisted again at the sight of the jugs.

“So on the way here, Sam made me promise something. “ Dean confessed so low you could barely hear him.

“I know he made me promise too.” 

“So you’re getting out?” He asked surprised. 

“ Uh no. I never agreed to that. I just promised I wouldn’t rattle the cage.” 

“Hmm, He told me to go find Lisa and settle down. Live an apple-pie life.” 

Dean was looking over the lifted drunk. He looked down blinking back tears. You peeked around Bobby and Sam were hugging. You felt a sting in your chest. You were not ready for this. 

“Dean, you deserve to be happy. If  Lisa and Ben are that for you then you should go. No one is going to judge you for getting out. And if they do fuck ‘em!” 

He smiled. “Thank you. And what about you?”

Sam walked over to Castiel with his hand out. 

“I don’t know,” you said blinking back tears. Happiness for you was out of the question and you knew it. Dean rubbed your shoulder. 

Sam looked over at you and started walking towards you. Dean patted your shoulder and then walked away. 

“Hey there hot stuff, you come here often?” He said as he approached you. 

You smiled “Only when you’re here, Big boy.” You said with tears sliding down your cheeks. 

He grabbed you and pulled you into his arms. Your arm wrapped around him as you laid your head against his head. You could feel his heart pounding. You inhaled his vanilla and cedar scent for the last time. He lifted your chin with his fingers and wiped away your tears. He brought his lips to your ear. “I love you, always have, always will.” He whispered. And then his lips were on yours, the kiss was quick and sweet, but you could feel through his soft lips meant every word. 

“I love you too Sam.”

He squeezed you one last time. “Do you mind not watching this, (y/n)?” He said as he loosened his hold and put his hands on your cheeks. You nodded as a few tears ran down your cheeks. Sam wiped them away and kissed your forehead. You turned and started walking over to where everyone else was. You wiped your eyes trying to stop crying. 

“You okay?” Dean Asked. 

“No. you?”

“No.” 

No one could say or do anything to make you feel better, the four of you just stood there in silence. Sam slammed the trunk when he finished. He was all jacked up.  “Let’s go!” The blood smeared on his lips brought your nausea back. You started to walk with Sam and Dean, all four men yelled “NO!” and Castiel grabbed your arm.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Please?” Sam pleaded. 

You nod and watch him walk away. Castiel wrapped his arm around you and you leaned your head on his shoulder. 

“Alright we’re here, you sons of bitches, come get it.” you heard Sam yell when they got to the sidewalk.  Two demons walked out the door and grabbed the boys shoving them through the door. You started to take a step.

“(y/n)” Castiel said. Tightening his arm. You didn’t fight him. 

After the longest 3 minutes of your life, you see a flash of bright light explode out of the second-story windows. Then all of a sudden the wind kicked up and you knew Dean had opened the cage. 

The wind stopped within 10 seconds. Was he gone? Like really gone? There was no breakdown into tears, no giant hole feeling in your chest like you thought there would be. Sure you were sad and you knew something had changed, but he didn't feel gone. 

A couple of minutes later Dean came walking out of the house. He kept his head down until he made it to your side of the street. When he looked you in the eyes you saw the extra wetness in his. 

“Well?” Bobby asked when Dean reached you guys.

Dean explained everything that happened. How Lucifer had already known about the rings, How Sam and Lucifer had a battle in Sam’s head, How Lucifer had taken over his body, took the rings, and disappeared. “ I tried to talk him out of it in the last few seconds.”

“Dean.” you tried to tell him it wasn't his fault. 

“I know” He cut you off.  Just then you heard a big commotion coming from down the street you four all looked at each other and headed in that direction.  There was an electronic store with T.V.s in the front window. The banner across the bottom of them said breaking news. 

Reporter: Reports are flooding in a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, and more in Hong Kong, Berlin, And Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll. 

“It’s starting,” Castiel said. 

“You think Genuis?” Dean said sarcastically 

“Dean, you don't have to be an ass.” You chimed in. 

“Sorry,” he said to Cas. “So what do we do now?”

“I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and wait for the inevitable blast wave.” 

“Well, thank you, Bukowski..” 

“Dean stop.” You were over his attitude. “How do we stop it Cas?”

“We can’t…” Castiel said with a grim look on his face. “Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field. And the battle of Armageddon will begin.” 

“Ok, Where’s this chosen field?” Dean asked in a nicer tone. 

“I don’t know” 

“There’s gotta be something we can do,” Dean argued. 

“I’m sorry, Dean, It's over,” Castiel said with glossy eyes. 

“Castiel, We are not giving up!” Bobby walked up beside Dean.”Right, Bobby?” Bobby stood there in a daze. “Bobby?” Dean raised his voice a little. 

“There wasn’t much hope to begin with,” Bobby said shaking his head. “ I don’t know what else to do.”

“Fucking ridiculous” Dean growled and started walking back to the car. The rest of you followed him.

“Hey Cas, Do you mind riding back with Bobby? I need to talk to Dean,” you asked when you got back to the alley.

“Sure,” he said and walked over to Bobby’s van.” 

“ So what do you need to talk about?” Dean asked when after you guys got in. 

“Do you still have Chuck’s number?” 

Dean’s face lit up as he smiled. “ I knew you wouldn’t give up.” He pulled out his phone and searched in his contacts. He hit the green button and put the phone up to his ear. 

“Um, no, Chuck?”  “Who’s Mistress Magda?”  “Yeah, I’ll bet real close. What happened to Becky?” “Boy, you got a whole virgin/hooker thing going on don’t you?” Oh come on Dean you thought. “Sam said yes.” “Did you see where the fight is going down?” Dean rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fuck.”  “Stull Cemtary, wait I know that, It's right outside of Lawrence. Why Lawrence?” “Alright, Do you know of any way to short-circuit this thing?” “Did you see what going to happen next?” “Alright, thanks, Chuck.” He hit the red button. 

“Tomorrow. Noon. You feel like a road trip to Kanas?”

“I'm in. Let me grab my guns.” you went to Bobby’s van to grab your things. You made it back over to the Impala before Bobby and Cas stopped you and Dean.

“You two going someplace?” Bobby yelled as he walked over. “ ya’ll are gonna do somethin’ stupid huh?”

“We are going to talk to Sam.”

“You just don’t give up.” Bobby looked at Dean then you. 

“Bobby, It’s Sam.” You said. 

“ If you couldn’t reach him here,” Castiel chimed in “you're certainly not gonna be able to on the battlefield.”

“Maybe not, But she might be able to. She and I together might do it. And if we have already lost, we don’t  have anything to lose right?”

“I just want both of you to understand. All you are going to see out there is Michael killing Sam.”

“Well then, we aren’t going to let him die alone,” Dean said as he looked at you. You nodded in agreement. You both got in the car and drove off. 

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Dean stopped the car right outside the entrance to the old run-down graveyard. You could see Sam and Adam talking ahead in the distance. 

“You ready?” Dean said pushing a tape in the cassette player. 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

He revved the engine a few times, hit play on the radio, and turned the volume up.

Gunter, Gliben, Glaunchen, Globen come through the speakers as he drives down to his brothers. You and Dean get out of the car. 

“Howdy boys, are we interrupting something?” He says as he closes the door. He motions for you to stay back and he walks closer to Sam. “We need to talk.”

“Dean, even for you this is a whole new level of stupid,” Lucifer said

“I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to Sam.”   “You’re no longer the vessel Dean, you got no right to be here.” Adam cut in

“Adam. If you're in there somewhere I am so sorry.” 

“Adam isn’t here right now.” 

“Well, then you’re next on my list buttercup. Right now I want 5 minutes with him.”

“You little maggot, you are no longer part of this story,” Adam said approaching Dean. You started walking in their direction. 

“Hey ass-but.” you heard Castiel. You looked up to see him and Bobby stand there. Just then Castiel threw a bottle at Adam. Adam caught on fire letting out an eye-piercing scream then vanished. 

“Ass-butt?” Dean asked Cas. 

“He’ll be back and angry, but you got your 5 minutes.”

“Castiel,” Sam said. “Did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?”

Cas raised his hands backing away “Uh no.” 

“No one dicks with Michael, but me!” He snapped his fingers and Castiel exploded spraying pink mist all over Bobby. 

“NO!” you yelled. And Lucifer spun in your direction. 

“Sammy, can you hear me?” Dean asked. 

Lucifer turned to him. “You know, I've tried to be nice.”He walked up to Dean. “For Sammy’s sake, but you are such a pain.” he grabbed Dean by the opening of his jacket. “In my ass.” Lucifer threw Dean into the windshield of the Impala and started back at him. You and Bobby both pulled your guns out and shot at the same time. Lucifer looked at you then turned halfway to Bobby. He looked back at you. He raised both hands and twisted them.  Breaking yours and Bobby’s neck at the same time. Dean looked back and forth between you two as your lifeless bodies dropped to the ground. 

“NOOO!!” Dean yelled. 

“Yes,” Lucifer said grabbing Dean’s ankle and pulling him off the Impala. Punching Dean so hard he busted his lip open. Dean fell onto the Impala. He stood back up, spitting the blood out of his mouth. 

“Sammy, are you in there?”

“Oh, he’s in here alright,” Lucifer said taking another swing at Dean’s face. He fell back down onto the Impala.” and he’s gonna feel me snap all of your bones.” Lucifer landed another punch. This time knocking Dean to the ground. “Every single one.” Lucifer picked Dean up and propped him up against the Impala. Punch, punch, punch punch. After about 12 blows Lucifer stopped. Dean’s face was swollen and bloody.

“Sammy. It’s ok. I'm here.” Dean managed to say. “I'm not going to leave you.” Lucifer punched again. And again. And again. “I'm not gonna leave you.” Dean's voice was muffled from all the swelling and a couple of busted teeth. 

As Lucifer drew his fist back the glare of the window caught his eye. Sam was fighting hard. And then looked down at the army man stuck in the back ashtray. This is what Sammy needed to fuel his fight. He thought of all the good memories he and his brother shared in this car. Shoving the army man in the ashtray while Dean shoved legos in the front vent, carving their initials by the speaker in the rear dash. He thought about all the pranks and road trip sing a longs they had. The time he scared the grab out of Dean who was sleeping in the passenger seat. Dean making him dinner when they were kids. Dean sacrificing his life for Sam’s. He lowered his fist and let go of Dean. Dean fell to the ground. One eye was swollen shut and a broken swollen jaw, and his face was covered in blood. He was almost unrecognizable.

“It’s ok, Dean.” Sam had taken over his body. “It's gonna be ok. I've got him.” he reached into his pocket, grabbed the rings, and tossed them on the ground. “ Bvtmon, Tabges, Babalon.” The ground rumbled and a sinkhole opened. The wind started whipping and the thunder roared loud. 

“Sam, It can’t end this way. I have to fight my brother. You need to step back.” Adam was back. 

“You're gonna have to make me,” Sam yelled He took one last look at Dean, put his arms out, and started to fall. Adam rushed over and grabbed him. But it was too late. They both fell into the pit. With a big flash, the pit closed. The rings lay on the ground where Sam had tossed them. Dean crawled over and just held them. As he started weeping he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned and there stood Castiel. 

“Cas, you’re alive?” 

“I'm better than that.” He touched Dean’s forehead and healed him. 

“Cas, Are you god?” Deam asked getting to his feet. 

“That's a nice compliment.” Castiel smiled. “But no. although I believe he did bring me back, New and improved.” He walked over to Bobby and touched his temple. Bobby came back to life. Bobby sat up and Cas nodded at him. He looked back at Dean, who was pointing at you. “I know.” Dean got up and followed Cas over to your body. Castiel bent down and put his fingers on your temple. 

You woke. You sat up and looked around. Sam was gone, really gone. Your heartbeat started to race, your hands began to shake, and You started panting for air as your chest tightened. Dean plopped down beside you pulling you into a bear hug.

“Shhh. Deep Breath (y/n).” Dean said in a calming voice. But the tears were coming and you couldn't stop them. You started bawling into Dean’s Chest. 

><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><[]><

You were sort of relieved when you got back to your truck. The whole ride here with Dean had been silent. You grabbed your stuff out of his backseat and threw it in yours. Dean and Bobby were standing by the tailgate. 

“Well..” Dean said. 

“That’s a deep subject,” Bobby remarked. You shook your head and smiled.  “What’s next for you (y/n)?” Dean asked you.

“Not sure,” 

“What about you?” Bobby asked Dean.

“I made a promise,” Dean said walking over to hug you. “If you need anything, and I mean anything.”

“I know Dean,” you said as you hugged him back.

He walked over to Bobby. “You have my number too,” Dean said as he hugged Bobby. “ Keep her outta trouble, will ya?” 

“I do.” Bobby smiled. “I can try, but I'm only one man.” Dean chuckled. Bobby looked at you. “You coming back to the house?”

“Eventually.” you needed some space right now. 

“Just be careful,” Bobby said as he hugged you. 

“Always.” you squeezed back. 

Everyone walked to the driver doors of their vehicles. You waved at them then hopped in your truck. 

The three of you drove off in different directions.

[tobiasdrake]

Man, nothing in Mortal Kombat matches the absurd trajectory Johnny Cage had through the original games. What an absolutely phenomenal character. XD

MK1: Based on Jean-Claude Van Damme and originally intended to be the main character when this game was pitched as a Van Damme vehicle, Johnny Cage was an action movie star with incredible martial arts skills, trained by great masters from around the world. He entered the Mortal Kombat tournament, unaware of its true nature, to prove his skills were real and not the product of stunt work and special effects.

He didn't win the tournament, but he kicked some ass and got a cool story to bring home. He immediately filmed his own version of the events and made Mortal Kombat: The Movie.

MK2: When Cage heard that Sonya was being held captive in Outworld and everyone needed to go fight a new tournament to free her, he dropped everything. Literally. He was in the middle of shooting a film and he just ran off to go on an adventure with his new kung fu besties, leaving the director holding the bag. What a dick.

He had a thrilling adventure and got some ideas for a new screenplay, then came home and filmed Mortal Kombat 2. No idea what became of his previous film, but the experiences left him certain that another one was on the horizon. He had a trilogy to complete now, and he couldn't wait for--

MK3: Johnny Cage died immediately. Didn't even get to participate in the plot. "Extermination squads" got him right at the beginning. However, due to the circumstances of the plot (the villain was merging Earthrealm with Outworld), dead souls couldn't pass on to the afterlife. This gave Cage a chance to possess his own corpse and show up to the party anyway as the 90's equivalent of a DLC character.

After Shao Kahn was defeated, Cage ascended to the afterlife. He was not able to film a movie about this. Yet.

MK4: Once again the equivalent of a DLC character, Cage looked down from heaven and saw everyone having trouble fighting Shinnok. So he asked Raiden to bring him back to life. Raiden was like, "Sure, why not," and poofed him into mortal existence again.

This time he got a No Takebacks clause so he got to be alive again once the dust settled.

Deadly Alliance: While filming his latest movie, Mortal Kombat: The Death of Johnny Cage, Cage threw a tantrum over the trash writing for his character. Calling the writers hacks for repeatedly killing off and reviving his character, he stormed off the set and ragequit production to go hang out with his kung fu besties.

Raiden told him where to meet and Johnny Cage unnecessarily air-dropped in by parachute just to look cool. There, he and the other heroes learned about the titular Deadly Alliance, and Johnny Cage ran off with them on another proper adventure.

He was promptly killed by the Deadly Alliance.

To be fair, so was everyone else. It was a total party-wipe.

Deception: The Dragon King Onaga raised Johnny Cage with the rest of the heroes as zombie warriors to serve him. Johnny's zombie immediately went to Hollywood and filmed the movie Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance about this experience.

Ultimately, Johnny's zombie was purified by Ermac and he was returned to life yet again.

Armageddon: Then everybody died and the timeline was rebooted.

And that is the complete history of Original Timeline Johnny Cage.

[illneverbesorry]

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Don’t Stand So Close to Me - Part 1

Warning; - Mentions of thoughts/attempt of Suicide, Teacher-Student relationship.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5,

__________________________________________________________

He hadn’t meant to hurt you so by pulling away, but he could already see the suspicion in the eyes of your fellow classmates. Now all he could do to try and ease his own broken heart was to watch you from the shadows in silence.

Now a 7th Year, you’d truly bloomed and blossomed into an even more beautiful rose and that was part of the problem. Aesop found it harder and harder to hide his affections for you, from his eyes lingering far longer that appropriate for a teacher to the constant half smile that graced his lips when he so much as heard your name even now, months on from the moment he ruined his own life.

Sadly, in Hogwarts, rumours can become cemented into the minds of even the staff if its spread with enough conviction. Whispers started with the words ‘Teacher’s Pet’ and Aesop knew it wouldn’t be long before even Black would take notice. He was left with only one choice if he was to save your reputation, he had to sacrifice his heart.

***

“We can’t go on like this Y/N” he whispered one night into his drink while you were curled up on the sofa with a book in his private chambers. Your head snapped up so fast you feared your neck would break

“What?” you whisper back in fear, you’d dreaded this moment, always fearing that one day he’d come to his senses and move on from the young, inexperienced fool you were.

“There’s already talk of a relationship between a teacher and a student and fingers are being pointed all over, its only a matter of time before they figure it out. Best to just end things now. Its best for both of us” he said turning towards the fire so you couldn’t see the tears glistening in his eyes.

“You’re just giving up? After everything? Don’t you love me anymore?” you tried to fight back the tears, but you couldn’t hide the tremble in your voice.

“Like I said, this is for the best. No point delaying the inevitable” he dances around your question, knowing he couldn’t lie to you.

“Please just tell me” you begged, moving to stand behind him, wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and take comfort.

“No” Sharp simply answered, you took that simple word as your answer – his love for you was now gone, when in truth he was simply refusing to answer it at all. But he knew it was the escape clause he needed. He wouldn’t ruin your life any more than he had already.

With a gasp of anguish, you grabbed the few things you had kept there and made your way to leave his room for the last time, casting a disillusionment charm you whisper as you step out of the door “I’ll never be sorry”

You never hear his reply of “Neither will I” before he burst into tears and fell to his knees.

****

Everything had started so innocently; he can remember the chill that ran up his spine even now, when in your 6th year Poppy Sweeting came bounding up to him crying that you’d gone to astronomy tower in a zombie like state. Sharp knew what you planned to do before Miss Sweeting could even finish her sentence. Flooing as far as he could and running the rest of the way his leg be damned.

How he’d reached you in time he’ll never know, but he thanked Merlin that you were still gripping the railings and hadn’t heard him rush over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist he tugged you away from the ledge. You’d begged and screamed for him to let you go, but he just held you firm falling to the floor with you in despair. You cried for hours, sat on that floor, your face buried in Aesop’s chest. You were so young, too young to have lost so much, so quickly.

You followed him aimlessly when later he led you to the dungeons, the place that would become your sanctuary from that night on. He made you tea and he just listened. You poured out your heart and pain, you hadn’t had anyone just listen to you before.  

Fig was a great mentor but you always felt you HAD to please him, do what he wanted. You never felt like you could ever really talk to him, especially about your magic. Such a gift as he saw it, not the curse you’d come to see it as.

Sebastian was the same, he saw your magic as this Holy answer to his problems. The Keepers saw you as their saviour. You were so much to so many people. You felt you had no choice but to use this magic to help the wizarding world. Saving hamlets from spiders, dispatching ashwinders and poachers, saving beasts and most importantly saving the school from Ranrok and goblin rebellion….but it was never enough, there was always more and you were so tired.  

So Sharp became what no one else was to you, a lifeline. The one thing you could cling onto and tell him how you felt, how scared you were, how angry you were. You told him everything, and it took him all of his strength not to find those four abandoned frames in the map chamber and burn their remains. How dare they put so much onto your shoulders?! Apparently, it was too much for the four of them to handle but they were fine with dropping it at the feet of a young woman.

You both dropped into a routine, you’d meet every evening for tea, you’d help tidy the dungeon and just relax. You wouldn’t always talk, sometimes just being in each other’s presence was enough to ease two wounded souls.

Then the worst possible thing that could have happened to Sharp did so, your 17th birthday.

He didn’t know what he was thinking getting you such a gift. Hardly something appropriate for a man of his age to be getting a young woman, let alone a teacher for a student. But he’d seen it in a boutique window and he could almost see the smile on your face and had to buy it. It was a golden locket probably the most expensive gift he’d ever bought anyone but he couldn’t pass it up. It was perfect.

He wrapped it and hidden it in his desk draw ready for your nightly visit. He felt almost giddy, he knew he was getting in too deep and the fact that you were now of age would only make things harder for him. You most likely saw him as another father figure like Fig, the very thought made his heart ache but it was probably for the best. He was a broken man, permanently injured and scarred, what would a young woman like you ever see in him. A gentle knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts, he smiled despite his dark thoughts and called you in.

“I have something for you” Aesop spoke after a while of jovial conversation about your day “Happy Birthday Y/n”

You sat slacked jawed staring at the box in his hands, you hadn’t expected a gift from him, the thought that he’d carefully picked it out for you gave you butterflies. You gently take them gift smiling brightly at him, tearing into the paper and gasping as you saw the contents. It was stunning, something you always wished you could have bought yourself.

“It’s beautiful! Will you help me?” you asked taking the locket from its velvet box. Moving slowly Aesop took the chain from your hands and fastened it around your neck. You bit your lip when you felt his finger graze over your skin. “How does it look?” you ask turning to face him.

“Perfect” He answered but his gaze never left our face, wanting nothing more than to commit this intimate moment to memory.

Smiling up at him you reached up on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, your lips gently brushing over his scar. You heard his breath hitch and froze, you slowly looked up at him. You saw reflected in his eyes what you knew was in yours and took the leap pressing your lips against his. Sighing contently Aesop wrapped his arms around you pulling you close.  That one sweet kiss would be the start of his downfall.

***

Smiling to himself in the shadows of the clock tower where he watched you and your friends become reacquainted after the summer. He missed you so, even after breaking both your hearts the rumours didn’t stop. He’d lost you for nothing and he doubted you’d ever forgive him for betraying your heart as he did. Turning to walk away, he didn’t see your eyes snap up to the rafters watching him leave, your fingers idly playing with the locked around your neck as your heart called out for his.

_______________________________________________________

Please let me know what you think? i havent written in forever and am hella rusty so sorry for any mistakes! LOVE!

[loreholdlesbian]

Duskmourn Play Booster Challenge

I always like to make a booster pack of custom cards to accompany each set, giving me a chance to play around with the mechanics and a bite-sized attempt at designing for a larger set rather than in a vacuum. (You may notice that I didn't do one for bloomburrow. Uh, moving on,). This is done in the style of a contest from GDS3, and in that vein I try to make cards that not only are reasonable additions to the set but also, whenever possible, are doing something novel with the themes and mechanics, not just rehashing the same old things. I also try to cover wide amounts of ground, in terms of color and themes, not focusing too hard on any one thing.

Art links

Wicker Dancer

Not Done Yet

Lost Prison // Crack in the Walls

Final Ghoul

Zealot of Terrors

Ominous Calm

Regal Simulacrum

Haunting Knowledge

Fear of Loss

Grasping Ghost

Torturous Blaze

Rotrue Remnant

Sinister Passage

Rare

Card transcription

Wicker Dancer 1GG Artifact Creature- Scarecrow At the beginning of your upkeep, choose artifact, enchantment, creature, or land at random. Until end of turn, you may play cards of the chosen type from your graveyard. Each card you play this way enters with a finality counter on it. 3/3

End transcription

This was the last card I made for the pack, and was basically made to fill constraints. I knew I wanted an artifact in the pack, to have a diverse spread of types for delirium, and I knew I wanted it to be green since there was only one other green card in the pack. A green artifact, in this set, definitely wanted to tie into the delirium theme, but I didn't want to just do delirium straight up cause it was already on a few cards in the pack. After a few iterations, I settled on this design which encourages the same kinds of things as delirium does but comes at it from another angle. It's a very Johnny-y card; it can have a lot of power to it, but you need to be able to build around it to consistently use it. Normally I don't like to use randomness as a power limitation, but I think it works well here; being able to choose the type would encourage you to just put it in a deck that wants that one type. Doing it like this means you want to work around the randomness in a way I think will be fun.

Uncommons

Card transcription

Not Done Yet 3WW Sorcery Return target permanent card from your graveyard to the battlefield. If you return a Room this way, unlock one of its locked doors. Survivors never celebrate a victory for long.

End transcription

This is a pretty simple card for the white-black reanimator theme. I wanted it to be able to hit both creatures and enchantments to tie into the enchantment theme, and I thought it was best to just let it hit any permanent. Reanimating rooms doesn't really, work all that well though, and since they're a key part of the set I wanted to make sure this card did work with them, so i gave it an unlock clause. It's not really meant to be Room reward, so much as reanimation card that also happens to work with Rooms, and I think i struck that balance well.

Card transcription

Lost Prison 2U Enchantment- Room At the beginning of your upkeep, you may lock an unlocked door of a Room you control. // Crack in the Walls 3U Enchantment- Room When you unlock this door, target creature you control gets +2/+2 and can't be blocked until end of turn.

End transcription

Now this one *is* meant to be a heavy Room reward. Putting it on a room itself let's me get away with a much more niche effect than I might otherwise, cause at minimum you can just use it as a way to use the second half over and over, but if you have other rooms you can use it with those instead and don't have to spend 4 mana every turn to make use of it.

Card transcription

Final Ghoul 1B Creature- Zombie Final Ghoul can't block. 1B: Return Final Ghoul from your graveyard to the battlefield with a finality counter on it. Activate only as a sorcery, and only if you control no creatures. (If a creature with a finality counter on it would die, exile it instead.) 3/3

End transcription

From before the set even came out, I wanted a card named "final ghoul" and since we didn't get one I had to make it myself. Ties into the graveyard themes of the set.

Card transcription

Zealot of Terrors 1B Creature- Human Cleric Artifact creatures and enchantment creatures you control get +1/+1. Delirium — 3BB, T: Create a 2/2 black Horror enchantment creature. Activate only if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard 2/2

End transcription

I came up with the first line of text as an off-beat way to encourage similar deckbuilding to delirium, but this card felt like it worked better if it just also had a straight up delirium ability to make it more obvious. I had the delirium ability make you enchantment creatures, in order to synergize with first ability. This also works well in an Eerie deck, and I like that flexibility.

Commons

Card transcription

Ominous Calm 2W Instant Manifest dread. That creature enters with a lifelink counter on it. (Look at the top two cards of your library. Put one onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature and the other into your graveyard. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)

End transcription

This is part of a cycle of cards that are all instants/sorceries that manifest dread and put a keyword counter on the card. I just think it's a fun mechanic to combine with manifesting, cause it makes it more than just a vanilla 2/2 when face down and it sticks around when it turns face up and that can be interesting in useful ways. Like if you manage to manifest a big creature, getting lifelink on it is certainly fun.

Card transcription

Regal Simulacrum 3W Enchantment Creature- Horror When this permanent enters, draw a card. Impending 3—1W (If you cast this spell for its impending cost, it enters with three time counters and isn’t a creature until the last is removed. At the beginning of your end step, remove a time counter from it.) 3/3 It spoke only in gibbers, but its manner evoked the forgotten royalty it mocked.

End transcription

Impending was only on a cycle of mythics but it's my favorite mechanic from the set and I was really hoping to see it more than that, and this is my booster so I can. You can't stop me.

Card transcription

Haunting Knowledge 2U Sorcery Draw two cards. Eerie — Whenever an enchantment you control enters or you fully unlock a Room, Haunting Knowledge gains flashback 2U until end of turn. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

End transcription

Here's a simple Eerie reward that uses it in a fun way I feel like we don't see this kind of mechanic get used a lot. Conditional flashback is just a fun way to do things.

Card transcription

Fear of Loss 2B Enchantment Creature- Nightmare When this creature enters, choose enchantment or creature. Each player sacrifices a permanent of the chosen type. 3/1 It bears the faces of everyone you grieve most dearly.

End transcription

This is a design I've had sitting around for a while, and Duskmourn felt like a great place to deploy it. It's a twist on the typical Fleshbag Marauder effect we've seen a lot of utilizing black's ability to remove enchantments.

Card transcription

Grasping Ghost R Creature- Spirit When this creature enters, exile the top card of your library face down. You may look at that card for as long as it remains exiled this way. T, Sacrifice this creature: You may play the exiled card until end of turn. 1/2 It clings to what it knew in life, no longer remembering why.

End transcription

Here's a twist on red's impulse draw effects, that ties it into the graveyard theme by making you sacrifice a creature to get it.

Card transcription

Torturous Blaze 1R Instant Torturous Blaze deals 3 damage to target creature or planeswalker. Delirium — If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, instead Torturous Blaze deals damage to that permanent equal to the number of those card types. Razorkin delight in tormenting the uninitiated.

End transcription

I think it's fun to make delirium scale up, so that if you go all-in on diversity of card types in your graveyard you can get extra rewards for it, but that's difficult to do at common. I think this card makes it work though, since it has the baseline mode of dealing 3 damage; it has a very safe floor, it's only the ceiling that's raised, so it's not too demanding of your deckbuilding which feels safe at common.

Card transcription

Rotrue Remnant G Creature- Elf Druid Survivor Survival — At the beginning of your second main phase, if this creature is tapped, add G. 1/1 Some elves live in the Hauntwoods despite the dangers, in memory of the forests of their ancestors.

End transcription

I'm kinda surprised we didn't get a survival mana dork, since it triggers at the perfect time during main phase so you don't need to add any clunky "you don't lose this mana" clause. I went with the powerful llanowar elves version, but to be safer you definitely could make this like, a 2 mana 1/3 or something. But I like to live dangerously.

Card transcription

Sinister Passage Land T: Add C. T: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to turn a permanent face up. 4, T, Sacrifice Sinister Passage: Manifest dread. Activate only as a sorcery. (Look at the top two cards of your library. Put one onto the battlefield face down as a 2/2 creature and the other into your graveyard. Turn it face up any time for its mana cost if it’s a creature card.)

End transcription

A land that can sac itself is great for delirium, and one that can turn itself into a creature later in the game makes for a good use-case for that. So this card kinda built itself. I added the "add any mana" clause just cause it felt right, and made it a bit better in a manifest deck.

[katakaluptastrophy]

You know what can't have been a fun experience for anyone involved? Merv Wing's mega truck convoy on Varun day.

Like, you're a regular guy in Blood of Eden. You've probably got an unfortunate name like Tis Pity She's a Whore Flower of Scotland Mmmbop Ba Duba Dop and you've somehow pissed off Unjust Hope enough that you've been put on zombie babysitting duty. This is extremely boring, as the zombies in question just sit in the truck and have very long arguments about - according to your friend, who speaks some House - maths. At one point you had to separate two of them when a discussion about methodology got heated, but no one's done anything disgustingly necromantic, and you're both disappointed and relieved. Then, one day, a ghost planet appears in the sky. It is alarmingly blue, and like everything else, it is John Gaius' fault. It also makes the zombies go insane. Half of them are writhing on the floor, screaming, gibbering, and sobbing. The other half look as alarmed as you do. There is a brief and urgent discussion about whether shooting them is going to cause a diplomatic incident, during which it suddenly goes very quiet, followed by more awful screaming, and then silence. The zombies that were mad are now very calm. And blind. And sweating blood. And bleeding from places that you know should not, under ideal circumstances, be bleeding. And as if this isn't bad enough, this barely stops them from arguing about maths.

You're a member of the Oversight Body of the House formerly known as Sixth. You've probably got an unfortunate name like Pupienus Sex and shockingly your attempt to negotiate with terrorists has gone badly wrong. You are dehydrated and underfed, and Unjust Hope is mostly sticking to the no torture clause, so you're passing the time by getting into extremely baroque arguments about archaeology. Then, without warning, you are delirious with mental agony. You are scratching at the walls. Someone is waving a gun at you and yelling and it barely registers. You are foaming at the mouth. Your colleague from Physics is very earnestly trying to explain something about spectroscopy. Eventually, at enormous thanergetic cost, you blind yourself and given the alternative, you're oddly relieved. Now as long as the contingent from archives don't start doing quadratics again, and no one gets waterboarded, you can get back to arguing about archaeology.

Everyone tries to pretend that nothing weird happened.

[wastingmylifesecondatatime]

Jeon Jungkook Masterlist - Series

Updated: 07.06.2024 ✔ = completed 🔞 = mature Other masterlists: mother masterlist; bts masterlist

NEW ADDITIONS:

✔ Exotic by @bangtan-sinnamons (added: 07.06.2024)​

↳ “When you're stranded on an island full of hybrids, a little someone is excited to meet you.”

↳ Chapters: 2/2

↳ Hybrid AU

I'm fine by @jungshookshook (added: 07.06.2024)​

↳ “Where Jungkook is a little brat that came back from the military and eventually ends up being the bodyguard of a super famous pop star.”

↳ Chapters: 33/?

↳ Social Media AU

🔞 Wicked by @adonis-koo (added: 07.06.2024)​

↳ “In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself to trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?”

↳ Chapters: 19/?

↳ Prince AU

🔞✔  Flesh And Love by @kinktae​

↳ "You are living in a society that is just now picking up the scraps that the Great Outbreak left behind after the government killed off the majority of the zombies. Still, some remain, and fear still lies within society’s walls. So imagine your surprise when the very thing you’ve been taught to fear ends up saving your life, showing you that maybe two beating hearts aren’t always required when it comes to love.”

↳ Chapters: 3/3

↳ Sci-Fi AU

Give Me A Call by joonary

↳ “You get a text from your number neighbour, who apparently has nothing better to do than be the bane of your existence in the form of blowing up your notifications.”

↳ Chapters: 14/20

↳ Non-Idol AU

🔞 Kiss The Girl by guked

↳ "“kiss you? I wouldn’t kiss you if you were the last woman on earth—or even if my life depended on it!”

or…after saving a human prince from being drowned by the sea witch, you’re cursed by that infamous witch to live out the rest of your days as a human—unless you can manage to get true love’s kiss from that very same prince. Which would be a simple task, had he not hated you the moment you met.”

↳ Chapters: 2/?

↳ Supernatural AU

Learn To Love by knjoodles

↳ "Raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. It hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.”

↳ Chapters: 4/?

↳ Non-Idol AU

🔞 Lustrous by @minnochu​

↳“The mortal world had merged long ago with the supernatural, humans finding a way to coexist with paranormal beings that now walk the same ground they set foot on. No doubt that humans complained about the safety of their kind with deadly monsters about in their world wearing the skin of a normal human being. But it was made a pact that the balance of nature was to be respected and that the supernatural were to not harm a mortal unless under special circumstances that it was under self-defense and vice-versa.”

↳ Chapters: 21/?

↳ Hybrid AU

🔞 New Rules by @tayegi​

↳ Chapters: 12/?

↳ School/College AU

Opal Eyes of the White Fang by magicalsalamander

↳ “Jungkook, a Gryffindor with a soft spot for Beast, Beings, and Sprits, is a Magizoologist that works for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures in the Beasts Division. However, the ignorant image he built up as a child about the department began to ware after years of working in the department; he hated the strict laws that restricted him from truly helping out all beast. Especially, because he’s half-giant, and he’s known how the law wasn’t always in creatures favours. In secret, he created a group called C.7.A (Clause 7 Army), to save Beast, Beings, and Sprits who couldn’t be protected under the department. But what happens one night when Clause 7 discovers something with opal eyes?”

↳ Chapters: 2/5

↳ Harry Potter AU

🔞 Prank Wars by @knjvrland

↳ "College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?”

↳ Chapters: 8/?

↳ School/College AU

Worst Of You by @oureuphoria​

↳ "You meet him under horrible circumstances but everything feels perfect when you’re with him. Too bad you have a bitch of a best friend, anxiety and an inability to learn from your mistakes which cripples your chances to be with the man of your literal dreams. He, however, is a police officer with years worth of built-up turmoil and an inability to make attachments.

Or

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Cool, I’ll let everyone know that you’re moving in then.” ”

↳ Chapters: 11/?

↳ Officer/Police AU

[cockyballventurez]

tid bit of my wangxian uni au where wwx is in a band

Supressing the urge to simply throw his bunny adorned phone into the deep depths of his two puffed up pillows, Lan WangJi set his phone calmly on his bedside table and plugged it into his charger cable. He sucked in some breaths and practiced deep breathing.

Registered name Wei WuXian. Birth name Wei Ying. That little bastard. It didn't take long for WangJi to remember that day, in which his life changed forever, whether he liked it or not.

He'd been bamboozled by that alcohol fiend. How dare he be such eye candy?! He thought that it would've been fine letting himself get into this predicament. His brother proved him WRONG. It was never that simple... Of course his interest falls on a bloody rule breaker. How impudent!

Loud club remixes of popular songs reverberated off the dorm hallway walls. Sounds of future university drop outs partied like there was no tomorrow. Bright lights spilled into door from door. Lan WangJi flickered his eyes from door to door, stopping at one particular dorm. It belonged to Wei WuXian and Jiang WanYin. He rolled his eyes at the thought of that person. All these elements, piled on top of each other, annoyed WangJi as he walked from the library carrying a tote bag bursting with borrowed books on his left and a laptop bag on his right. Despite all that he carried, he didn't tilt one bit.

Just as WangJi took two steps closer to said room to tell them to quieten down because it was past curfew hours, a figure sauntered his way with a zombie-like walk cycle. They swayed from left to right, bringing a bottle to their lips every few seconds. Pressing their hand on their head and tapping it as if fighting a brain parasite. Once the figure came to the light, Lan WangJi had never felt more repulsed in his life.

Black leather pants with chains adorning the belt, lining his hips. And an out-turned pocket to add more flare to this sloppy looking outfit. What was left of his top was a long ruffle sleeved red victorian-esque shirt with a very low frilly V-neck nape. WangJi would be lying if he didn't feel anything. Anything but grossed out by his slacky appearance. Never had Lan WangJi seen someone so exposed. There was no way he was sober too so WangJi gave him a small benefit of the doubt. His jaded eyes, dazed face with seemingly to sense of direction. Drool was seeping from the side of his mouth if he wasn't sipping booze. Why was there a bruise on his chest? This failed Puss In Boots cosplayer left him with too many questions than plausible answers.

Not only did he have a sheer lack of self-preservation. He was carrying bottles of booze! Clearly he couldn't give a toss about the student handbook. In which one of the rules state the following; Under clause 7f(ii), consumption of alcohol, recreational drugs, cigarettes or any variation of the sorts on campus ground is strictly prohibited whether it be before or after school hours and during or after curfew.

The man saw WangJi arrow his gaze at him and he returned a glint of mischief back at him. This drunken stranger curled up the ends of his lips and awfully trudged toward him.

"Mr. Smartie, I never thought you would look this good at night," Wei WuXian pinched Lan WangJi's cheek not paying attention to his quickly changing expression from disgusted to weirdly flustered. His ears were burning up.

Just as WangJi was about to lecture WuXian for his rule breaking, he was quickly stopped by the others' index finger dragging against his lips, shushing him.

"I know how much you care about rules but come on, let it slide, its the first weekend," he immediately retorted before a word escaped WangJi. He could of sworn he was using something to convince him by acting like this. He wouldn't ever want to admit it but WangJi thought a few sideways thoughts when he said it.

"Quit all that yap and maybe it'll be better not being bitter" WuXian said as he licked his lips. His eyes strayed from WangJi's gaze to his lips.

Lan WangJi would have never been ready for what came next even if he was told it would happen. He would've never expected this to happen ever.

"I think I have a solution to your problem, Lan Zhan..." WuXian adamantly slurred out his words while pulling WangJi closer to him. He looked up slightly before giving him a small peck on his lips. A sweet little intoxicated kiss. WuXian pat WangJi's cheek before nearly tripping on his shoe laces walking to his dorm. All this without warning?

A brief flutter in his heart made him stop and think as Wei WuXian walked behind him nonchalantly. What on earth. The moments following left Lan WangJi in a weird state of reflection.

a) How did this stranger know his birth name?

b) Why did this stranger non-consensually give him his first kiss that he happened to actually quite like but still, it was non-consensual so he's quite bothered by the fact that he liked it?

Lan WangJi's confusion snapped him back to the present as he angrily dissipated that memory from mind, still wondering what would happen if Wei WuXian didn't stop at just a peck. His mind wandered endlessly before returning to its original state. Making his heart pound thinking of the situation. Was that a meet cute or a meet ugly? WangJi didn't even know where his thought process was between the confines of "wei ying is an abominable being" and "i need wei ying religiously" anymore.

huhu idk if i should pursue this idea cause i'm already working on a fic on ao3 (shameless plug my username is ezrascottage)

[cafenostalgique]

My ultimate film watchlist (2000s)

1930s-1940s | 1950s | 1960s-1970s | 1980s | 1990s | 2010s

Welcome to part 6 of my ultimate film watchlist. This list will consist of a lot of my favorites from childhood that I want to rewatch, as well as movies that I was much too young to watch at the time. Sometimes that didn't stop my mom from letting me sit in the living room with her while she watched them. I usually played or did my homework during these times, and was told to look away if she knew an innapropriate part of a movie was coming up. I was just happy to be with her.

Enjoy this list, and as always, please let me know if I'm missing any major film and I will gladly add it to the list!

watched | loved | wouldn’t watch again | holiday

2000

102 Dalmatians

Almost Famous

American Psycho (made me laugh tbh)

Battle Royale

Best in Show

Billy Elliot

Bring It On

Chicken Run

Coyote Ugly

Emperor's New Groove

Erin Brockovich

Gladiator

Memento

Remember the Titans

Requiem for a Dream

Scary Movie

Scream 3

The Road to El Dorado

The Tigger Movie

Unbreakable

2001

Amélie

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Donnie Darko

Drudget Jone's Diary

Get Over It

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (I wish I was joking, I haven't watch a sing HP movie)

Jeepers Creepers

Legally Blonde

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (also wish I was joking here omg)

Monsters, Inc

Moulin Rouge

Recess: School's Out

Shrek

Spirited Away

Spy Kids

Tart

The Fast and the Furious

The Princess Diaries

Zoolander

2002

28 Days Later

40 Days and 40 Nights

Adaptation

Bend It Like Beckham

Better Luck Tomorrow

Carrie

Get A Clue

Ice Age

Lilo & Stitch

Minoirity Report

My Big Fat Greek Wedding

The Ring

The Santa Clause 2

Treasure Planet

Whale Rider

2003

Bad Santa

Brother Bear

Calendar Girls

ELF

Finding Nemo

Freaky Friday

Holes

House of 1000 Corpses (love Rob Zombie <3)

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Lost in Translation

Love Actually

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Scary Movie 3

Something's Gotta Give

The Haunted Mansion

The Lizzie McGuire Movie

The School of Rock

Thirteen

Uptown Girls

2004

13 Going on 30 (it's good if you can view it in context of the time, otherwise extremely hard to watch a grown woman hang out with 13 year olds and hit on a teenage boy)

America's Heart and Soul

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Garden State

Home on the Range

Kill Bill: Vol. 2

Mean Girls

Million Dollar Baby

Napoleon Dynamite

National Treasure

Sacred Planet

Saw

Shaun of the Dead

Shrek 2

Sideways

Sleepover

The Incredibles

The Notebook

The Phantom of the Opera

The Village

2005

Brokeback Mountain

Broken Flowers

Chicken Little

Corpse Bride

Herbie: Fully Loaded

House of Wax

Howl's Moving Castle

Ice Princess (tried ice skating because of this movie at 6. I fell, cried, and never did it again)

Madagascar

Mr. & Mrs.

Odd Girl Out

Robots

Saw II

Sin City

Sky High

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The Descent

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

Walk the Line

Wedding Crashers

2006

300

Borat

Cars

Children of Men

Flushed Away

Happy Feet

High School Musical

Ice Age: The Meltdown

Idiocracy

Just My Luck

Kinky Boots

Little Miss Sunshine

Monster House

Over the Hedge

Pan's Labyrinth

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Saw III

Scary Movie 4

Silent Hill

Stay Alive

Step Up

The Devil Wears Prada

The Hills Have Eyes

The Host

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause

V for Vendetta

2007

30 Days of Night

Becoming Jane

Bee Movie (I'm sure you've also watched)

Bridge to Terabithia

Enchanted

High School Musical 2

Meet the Robinsons

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Ratatouille

Shrek the Halls (don't sleep on this)

Shrek the Third

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Trick R' Treat

2008

Beverely Hills Chihuahua

Bolt

Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert (specifically want to watch with my future daughter)

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Horton Hears a Who

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Repo! The Genetic Opera

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

Twilight

WALL-E

2009

A Christmas Carol

Antichrist

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

G-Force

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Jennifer's Body

Monsters Vs. Aliens

Old Dogs

Planet 51

Ponyo

Race to Witch Mountain

The Lovely Bones

The Princess and the Frog

The Proposal

The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Up

[hawkeyejrhuntress]

HOLIDAY PROMPTS FOR THE AVID FANFICTION WRITER!

Winter Summoning - Main Character 1 tries to summon Santa instead they summons a succubus or the devil.

Winter Celebration - celebrating all winter holiday not just Christian ones.

Multiverse Christmas (Inspired by Marvel) - Main Characters are in a rough patch in their relationship when they meet their multiverse alter egos.

Dude where's the ring - One Main character plans a perfect proposal for the holidays, but somehow gets arrested. Using their one phone call they call their partner asking to be bailed out and at the end of the call ask the partner for their hand in marriage. (Bonus points if it ends on a cliff hanger.)

Warming up the Ice Castle- Main characters stay in a ice castle where everything including beds are made of ice. They have fun doing the naughty tango and steam up the ice room.

Warring Witches/Wizards - Main Characters are witches/wizards from warring covens, but under the winter solstice a new love is born.

Fire & Ice - Main Characters are fire and Ice and come together once a year to have one night of love, but is it enough.

Grinchmas - One main characters gets part time gig as a mall grinch. They does it too well and end up on Santa Clause daughter Naughty list!

Break a Leg - One main character goes skiing and thinks they broke their leg on the slopes. It is actually a sprain. Main Character's friend fells bad and schedules main character for a medically massage. Words are said, line are cross ands main character get massaged inside and out.

Zombie Winter Wonderland - Winter Holidays and Zombies!

My Partner got ran over by a reindeer - Main Character gets ran over by a reindeer and forgets their partner and siblings.

Eggnog - The villain of the week spikes the eggnog at the Holiday Party with liquid sex pollen. Freakiness ensues!

Santa Camel - Forget Rudolph want about the Santa Camel!

Herbal Christmas - Getting baked during the winter holidays!

Lumberjack/ LumberJane Christmas - Main Character goes to the mountains to get away and meets their mountain partner!

Fake Dating Winter Love - Main Character created an fake partner to attend their ex wedding. Enter Best Friend!

A winter Morophile - Main Character is turned on by best friend's stupid holiday traditions!

A Christmas BAMF - Main Characters saving their partner and being a BAMF!

Once Upon A Christmas - Main Character 1 and Main Character 2 each get a weird job to buy one another a Christmas gift!

Winter Blaze - Main Character wakes up to their apartment on fire when out of no where a short buff fire fighter comes in with their one eyed dog to rescue main character and their dog. And main character is only wearing a nightie!

A School Teacher Romance/ Secret Santa - Gym Teacher has a secret crush on the Foreign Language teacher. Will Gym Teacher gather the courage to ask Language Teacher to the school dance. What if one pulls the other's name for the office party.

Love at First Wind Chill - On their way home to Montana Main Character 1 and dog get stranded at the NYC airport. While waiting for a Cab Main Character sees Main Character 2 save a street dog from the streets. A sucker for pets Main Character 1 tags along with the mystery person who saved a dog while stranded in the big apple!

A ruined Christmas - Ruin Christmas

Nutcracker - getting steamy on stage

Who is in my bed - Character 1 is Santa Clause kid. In 6 months they will take over his duties but wants one last beach vacation before gearing up for the holiday season. Imagine their surprise when they goes to the family timeshare and find a sexy blond in their bed in nothing but a bikini.

[viking369]

Goodbye salvrun. They and I were having a debate on Original Intent (OI) and Strict Construction (SC). Then the following happened. I let this rattle around in my noggin for over a day, and then I decided to take steps. 1) Salvrun wrote, "Constitutional Originalism/Strict Constitutionalism is neutral on/irrelevant to adding or changing the constitution." I'm sorry, but this is bullshit. Both OI and SC were created by lawyers and jurists for the rentier class with the express intent of blocking the use of federal power for the benefit of common citizens, and they have been used almost uniformly for that purpose. To characterize them as "neutral" in any way is either centrist, both-sidesing toolism or rentier class trolling. I ran out of time for both in college, and that was a very long time ago. 2) Salvrun then wrote, "There are provisions for revision in it, after all." Yes, there is an amendment procedure in the Constitution. It was created for emergency situations, and it is next door to impossible. 13, 14, and 15 almost didn't pass, and that was immediately after putting down an insurrection that necessitated them. Then it took another 70 years just to give women the vote. And they still don't have full constitutional rights because the ERA failed (Courtesy religio-fascists like Phyllis Schlafly. And since you're all too young to remember, I'll note she was one of the Reich Wingers who secured the nomination for Goldwater in 1964.), and the only reason they have the rights they have is because the Warren Court decided 14th Amendment due process should count for more than a pinch of pig shit. 3) THEN salvrun wrote, "What it is against is revision of the document outside the process of those provisions. You can’t just one day say that a line in the constitution means or covers something it was never considered to before, let alone by the drafters of the given section." That is Strawman City. NO ONE is saying you can simply flip things over like that. Oh wait, that IS what Grand Inquisitor Alito did in Dobbs and what Don Scalia did in Heller, which just shows OI/SC proponents don't really give a flying, foaming fuck what the Constitution says or what the Founders intended. And salvrun ignores this. 4) Salvrun closed with, "The thing in itself, the idea of the document, is the intent of the law. The written lines themselves is the wood in this metaphor." Oh sweet zombie Jesus on a pogo stick. First, as noted above, OI/SC proponents care not a whit about either the text or the intent. Don Scalia's opinion in Heller is a classic, reading the introductory clause out of the Second Amendment (Think I'm exaggerating? Until the NRA started its gun campaign in the early 70s, no one, and I do mean NO ONE, thought local jurisdictions couldn't regulate open and concealed carry. Want some evidence? Do you know what the proximate cause of the Gunfight at the OK Corral (which wasn't at the OK Corral, but let's put that aside for the moment) was? Tombstone had an ordinance requiring all firearms be checked at the marshal's office. The Cowboys had not done so (quelle surprise), and the Earps and Doc went down to enforce the ordinance. In the roughly three million and twelve pages of comments on that event, no one has alleged the Cowboys' Second Amendment rights were being violated. Because we FUCKING KNEW BETTER!).

Second, and this is important, so pay attention, the flexibility of the Constitution was a big selling point from the start. Let's start with the Federalist Papers (Because everyone starts with the Federalist Papers, although that is just a crock of shit. The Federalist Papers were advocacy, one half of a newspaper op-ed debate. But we never look at the other side. Nor do we ever look at the debates in the state legislatures that actually turned the Constitution into law through ratification. But then OI/SC advocates are not really interested in either OI or SC. Hmm, are you keeping up, salvrun?). Even though Hamilton and Madison ended up despising each other with extreme prejudice, they agreed that one of the big selling points for the Constitution was it could be interpreted flexibly. Not so flexibly as the UK Constitution (Since we had sovereign states, we couldn't have Congress simply dictating what the Constitution was.), but flexible enough that we could make things work. That's why there is judicial review. Hells, without it wouldn't have (have had) Roe. We wouldn't have Griswold. We wouldn't have Loving. We wouldn't have Heart of Atlanta. We wouldn't have Brown. Hells, we wouldn't have judicial review.

So all I can say to salvrun is, "Guess what, you're part of the problem," and