#zewu jun ily

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

hnnngggg i’m having brainworms about my extremely specific and self indulgent fem!xicheng ice-skating partners au, it means everything to me

[lesyah]

Lan Xichen: you trust wei wuxian despite the fact that he practices evil cultivation and caused the deaths of many people right?

Lan Wangji: right

Lan Xichen: and what about jin guangyao, someone who has never been involved in anything scandalous whatsoever and actually helped everyone kill wen ruohan?

Lan Wangji: not credible

Lan Xichen:

[marmoue]

Happy birthday, Lan Xichen! [10.08.21] 💙

 smth simple for the love of my life... ily zewu jun (the flowers are supposed to be thyme !)

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

you know what yeah at this point i agree with antis if i was jiang cheng i would simply fuck zewu-jun (to activate protective lan simp mode) marry wen qing (to take in the remnants) and kill jin guangshan (to kill jin guangshan) and thereby solve every problem in the show by dinnertime it wasn’t that hard

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

i won’t lie one of my main reasons for shipping zhuiling and xicheng is the sheer perfection of the collections they make 

pre-sunshot (xuanli, wangxian, xicheng): yunmeng trio snatching up the top 3 cultivators of their generation and thereby claiming the top 5 spots and being quietly smug about their besotted husbands; the most desired men in the cultivation world.

post-canon (zhuiling, wangxian, xicheng): bratty bottom yunmeng boys collecting lan qiren’s nephews and grand-nephew like pokemon cards and flouncing around cloud recess destroying tranquility while their indulgent, smitten husbands keep enabling them and unfailingly ignoring lqr hacking up blood in the background because let it be known that lotus pier’s boys + besotted lans = shameless.

basically yunmeng children have a way of getting husbands who don’t just love them no; they get ultra devoted, loyal, gorgeous fighters who are also massive simps who watch them with heart eyes.

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

babie lwj, reading a recipe: beat the eggs.

lwj: ...

lwj: shufu said we must not bully those weaker than us. the eggs have no arms. it would not be fair.

lqr: i’m glad you remember that but that’s not wh-

teen lxc, cocking a gun: he never said eggs deserve fairness 😊

lqr:

lqr: get out of my kitchen

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

listen i just think over half the problems in mdzs would be solved if jiang yanli, lan xichen and xiao xingchen ever got to become friends and bond over tea breaks while swapping tips for perfect hair and perfect robs and fawning over their respective murder happy gremlins and tsundere himbos 

everyone in the vicinity is slack-jawed and lulled into peaceful daze by the sheer serenity they radiate and heighten with their pure, powerful vibes. 

the ones least affected are song lan, lan wanji, jiang cheng and wei wuxian via ExposureTM and they’re crouching nearby to make sure their precious angels don’t just straight up fucking ascend and leave their adoring didis and husbands behind

(which they do. so they grab onto them and nhs grabs wwx and jc and a-qing and xy grab sl and jgy is grabbed by nmj who latches onto nhs and so on and long story short they all become heavenly deities and live happily ever after forever the end)

((except jgs because nmj and mxy grab him by the arms and drop him halfway through and he goes splat yay))

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

that one storyline in mdzs where there’s a murder twink with one of the longest ranges of robes in the story, including but not limited to jin gold, who has severe trauma from his childhood mostly generated by power imbalance between him and malicious adults around him, and has massacred an entire clan at some point, and for a while was called on to do jgs’s dirty work. 

so twink here gets his life changed after meeting a gentle and righteous cultivator in white whose biggest sin and tragedy is ignorance regarding the twink, not helped by said murderer playing innocent and disguising himself to stay in gentle cultivator’s good graces. also the man in white has this buff guy he knew from before who gets murdered by the twink.

i’lll describe it from the other side to elaborate.

there’s a guy with big brother/parental energy who comes from a background where the one raising him had a unique way of doing things, and he was very just and righteous and all that. and he had a famous and unique weapon with a technique different from others. 

so himbo here gets not-so-indirectly murdered by a shorter asshole with the moral backbone of a limp noodle. himbo’s old friend (who he either saw as a brother or bestie or husband, whos to say?) is left in a broken and emotionally wrecked state to deal with the aftermath alone.

and there’s more.

there’s short icon associated with green and grey who has a knack for conning and fools several people around them for a long time until a goth necromancer eventually figures it out; that they were tricking people for years without being caught. they often have a younger sibling dynamic with murder twink in fanon. 

anyway so green legend with a penchant for filth was close to the aforementioned himbo and after the big brother figure’s bloody and unnatural death, they eventually lure and have a resurrected wei wuxian bring the murder twink to justice. green con artist here isnt about to stop the “fvck short lying murder asshole” plan when faced by a flimsy social construct such as “death”.