#your whole opinion of them changes

[wifegideonnav]

people on here are like “don’t engage with hate, you don’t have to justify yourself, post what you want and people can unfollow or block” and while i fully agree with that, it really does lead to a phenomenon where someone has a random bad opinion but feels so entitled to it and is so annoying about it that they drive away everyone except for the people who agree with them. and then they’re all smugly convinced that they’ve won the argument and everyone else is stupid and weak and it’s like. babe all you did was create a really annoying echo chamber. are those hate comments and anons or are people trying to ask you questions to understand you and your position. are you an elite intellectual under attack by the masses or do other people have valid points to make. it’s just so childish and obnoxious as fuck to boot.

[anemonet]

pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Okay listen, I'm real tired of seeing that post that's like "actually bell hooks was talking about how we raise boys" and other miscontrusions of what it is that The Will to Change is about.

So directly from the source, from bell hooks herself in the preface:

"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is about our need to live in a world where women and men can belong together. Looking at the reasons patriarchy has maintained its power over men and their lives, I urge us to reclaim feminism for men, showing why feminist thinking and practice are the only way we can truly address the crisis of masculinity today. In these chapters I repeat many points so that each chapter alone will convey the most significant ideas of the whole. Men cannot change if there are no blueprints for change. Men cannot love if they are not taught the art of loving.

It is not true that men are unwilling to change. It is true that many men are afraid to change. It is true that masses of men have not even begun to look at the ways that patriarchy keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. To know love, men must be able to let go the will to dominate. They must be able to choose life over death. They must be willing to change."

I ain't wading headfirst into the discourse here. This isn't to state some opinion, but to correct the record about what bell hooks was talking about.

No one is saying you have to agree with her, but don't misconstrue what it is she wrote about to make it look like she agreed with you. The Will to Change is not solely about how we raise boys; it is also about men and the will of men to change.

[roomba-mangga]

thoughts on thistle and yaad's dynamic that i vomited in the tags of another post but will now try to articulate here: they're not actually family, or at least they shouldn't be. not in a conventional sense anyway. framing them as uncle and nephew (even in a non-literal, silly fantasy world way) rides more on technicality than anything concrete.

what i mean by this is yaad calls thistle by name and says he and delgal were raised "like" brothers. he talks about thistle like he's an outsider imposing himself into the melinis' space, and it's clear that thistle was never legitimized as a member of the family. for thistle's part, though we don't know how he would treat yaad pre-demon brainrot, it's safe to assume based on the way he punishes him—turning him into a doll—and how little is shown in the way of any sort of relationship between them that thistle only cares* about yaad as an extension of delgal (otherwise i'd expect something like kabru and milsiril, because it's not like another complicated interspecies family dynamic would be out of place, yet there's next to nothing on them even in bonus content, just their scant interactions in the main story).

in essence, they're strangers to one another. thistle's desperation to preserve the illusion of a family, a model where he doesn't even fit, was the snare they were caught in for the past thousand years of stasis. yaad-as-nephew is a prop to uphold that illusion, and thistle is playing a role he's unfit to play. in the context of post-canon interactions, attempting to reconstruct that facade would only be a reenactment of trauma for them both (in a deeply compelling way i'd love to watch unfold, tbh), as that "uncle and nephew" framing places thistle in an implicit position of power over someone he's already traumatized through misuse of authority in the past, a role which also perpetuates his adultification and yaad's infantilization in turn. it'd mostly be an obstacle to any real connection.

best to burn the melini family bridge, i think, and if there's still anything salvageable left in the rubble, let something different supplant it.

[crownedwille]

.

[toddtakefive]

btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage

[risingsunresistance]

twitter is entering their "rts > likes" phase now that likes are private after they spent years calling us ungrateful for being demotivated by ratios lmao

[katyspersonal]

I know we don't talk and there's stuff we may not agree with. But I am truly sorry you've dealt with a lot of drama over fictional crap. And I'm sorry if my posts in the past ever contributed to that. Hope you have a better day.

Hey... That's all fine, don't worry! After all, it takes a lot of time and Insight to realise that Gehrman is a very gentle and respectful man and Godrick is an absolute gigachad kdkdkshdffhhgfds /lh /lh

But yeah, on a serious note. It was quite frustrating to find out the real motivation under all that... mess was something so pathetic, but at the same time this is what happens when people make engagement with media and fandoms a moral, political act. Not necessarily a problem, after all, I was the one who concluded that the way a fan judges fictional characters and other fans will very well reveal how cruel they are to real people who do something bad, or how much they will forgive based on personal sympathies. And my mad ravings about caring about female characters! I think the problem comes when a fan is so insecure that they have nothing else besides this defence of ideals through fandomry. If your only way to assert yourself is to be a good guy punishing the bad guys, and that mad raving loredigger discovers there is NO bad guy, what is left of you?

This is why it is crucial to have passion for nurturing rather than for undermining! I think if you speak like this, you've found this truth too? This is true that I don't know you very much (mutual-in-law thing), but to be honest.. you didn't poison my fandom experience at all? I tend to never be aware about discourse until someone basically calls me for help fhdhgsdgdfs Can't scout the fandom tag regularly!

But not only it actually was a quite long ago I saw a "negative" post from you, but also I've seen through the posts that my friends liked or reblogged from you that you've actually became very eager person to defend people's passion and interests! I think the post that particularly got stuck with me was when you resented seeing someone's light die after some Redditor asshole "well aktualy"'d a thing they were excited about creating (not exact wording but maybe you remember too)? Like... you are fine, man. At that point I realised that you were a good fan and in the end valued people's creativity and passion over personal preferences. That you never wanted to be THAT guy, even if your interpretation could not be further from someone else's. Coming to terms with what actually matters in fandomry is very mature and I am happy to see this attitude!

I am still glad that you messaged me about this though; I did not expect this, but thank you! I think I will continue getting involved in fictional discourse because my autistic senses cannot ignore factually incorrect takes with a clear insidious motive, and.. eh, sooner or later, I'll piss off the wrong guy again. Don't feel bad for me when it inevitably happens :p I've accepted the shortcomings when I decided to be the debate guy. Simply laughing at some gremlin starting a discourse with the girls in DMs and not stressing over it is only funny until I realise that newer fans could get misinformed right off the bat.

[ourmondobongo]

Do you think Levihan as a ship is dead now because of the new relationship chart? They did so much for each other that saying that they only just appreciate/respect one another seems like it ignores the show, even if you don't take their actions to be romantic

Hey!

I think you anon may be trying to read too much where there is no need to. That was only a simple diagram resuming in one or two sentences things that were actually canon and more than obvious atp?! Imo, it's actually funny and kind of a nostalgic throw back to the first snk diagram! Iirc, that one said that Levi and Hanji thought about each other as "there is something wrong with them!" Very shippy lmao

But now excuse me, if I may add something...

If I'm reading the reason behind this ask correctly, I think it's just a matter of individual perspective.

Just like you have your own reasons to love levihan and any other ships from other media, other people have their own. Things for them may change, but you don't have to take it personally - it's one's voice, and not YOUR voice, and much less a universally shared opinion.

So imo, if you truly love (or hate) something, I don't think it's necessary to stand by an idea that you dislike/don't agree just because someone else shared their own thoughts on the matter.

They are they. You are you!

So if I may give a unprompted advice, don't let other ppl's individual ship experience dictates what you like. I do not speak for an entire ship community, and I honestly don't think anyone does. So even if it's just nice to see some validation of your feelings shared with other ppl you follow, you don't have too take mine/other opinions as something EVERYONE else will think. I even ship ZekeHan lmao.

Levihan to me is much, much more than literally two phrases written in a piece of media. I've been following their story for 10 years. I don't care - and won't take a little diagram describing the relationships between the characters saying they have mutual respect as something that "kills" my ship. They are not only my fav and second longest ship ever, but my OTP!

But, again, that is me.

Would you stop shipping levihan just cause I said I've stopped? I don't believe you would. And I'm definitely sure thousands of levihans won't.

[autisticlee]

the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???

WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?

there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!

I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.

what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.

[2024skin]

Lmfao @ the idea that it's possible to raise children religiously in a healthy way

[medicallista]

So I made some realizations about Helio and Helidea and I'm not sure if I like them or what to do with them. So I'm dumping these thoughts and opinions here

I really did not like Helio and Helidea for a really long time. Like among the main five characters, Helio was my least favorite, and his relationship with Medea was my least favorite between any of the five.

My opinion of Helio was "just another case of shounen love interest syndrome". Basically the thing with het romances where the love interest sucks ass and the mc's friendship with another character of the same gender is honestly way more romantic and meaningful? Cuz heteronormativity and gender roles and misogyny (for male mcs) and blah blah. He spends most of his screen time being a Medea simp, being Medea's right-hand man/assistant/servant/dog?? We're given hints of his backstory but it felt like most of it was just to support the Medea simping. I found him really boring and bland compared to the other four main characters.

And his relationship with Medea? It's toxic, which was pretty obvious way before the story started spelling it outright in chapter 100+. The relationship was stalling his character development in favor of what... some mid one-sided romance? (See, shounen love interest syndrome) His entire character was just his devotion to Medea, and we barely see Medea give a fuck about him. I lost all respect for him at that one scene where he kissed Medea's foot and called her his god. Like, gurl get the fuck up??

However, I did recognize back then that Helidea actually had tropes that I really like if they were handled differently. Even more now, that my taste has changed a bit from when I was reading Your Throne back in 2020-2021. I'm a sucker for devotion and loyalty actually. I fucking love "I'd do anything for you, I'd die for you, I'd go to hell and back for you." Dependency and toxic relationships are actually things I'd sometimes enjoy. So there was an inkling of "maybe in a different world or handled differently" even back then.

I said I enjoyed those kind of relationship in fics because usually the ships/characters I like are the ones where I'd root for them to be in a healthy relationship over a toxic one, cuz usually those are the type where you're rooting for what's "good". I do enjoy them outside of fics and headcanons, but it's usually when the story actually is the kind of story that tells and explores a toxic relationship. But with Your Throne, I didn't think it was that kind of story. Given Medea's development, I was rooting for her success and happiness and for her to end up in a good relationship (if there is an endgame ship). So whenever I looked at Helidea I was like "this is supposed to be canon???"

I do want Your Throne to break the norms, not just in terms of tropes but also societal norms (like a not heteronormative romance or queer characters), but I didn't really expect much from it. Even if I didn't want Helidea to be canon, I still judged them through the lenses of "this is supposed to be canon???" cuz I expected it to be, and that was my mistake.

Yes, Helidea's kinda fucked up. They're pretty ass if you judge them on the basis of a good healthy romantic relationship. But as a toxic fictional relationship between morally dubious mentally ill characters, they're great actually. That's what the author intended to portray (I think so anyways), they're doing their job? They're interesting as a concept, something I'd wanna poke around at when I have brain worms. Kind of similar to how I feel about Medea x Eros (Mederos?). I never wanna see them in an actual relationship though, unless there's some huge development at Medea's end.

Speaking of Medea's end in their relationship: one of the reasons why I disliked it was because Medea never treated Helio like an equal. She cared for him to an extent, but that's more of how a master would love their favorite servant, nothing like the devotion Helio had for her. I would've been fine with that toxic master/servant dynamic if that were the point. But seeing how Medea treats Psyche, how she treats her like an equal and encourages her growth, while with Helio she just enables that toxic behavior and let him worship her? It really just didn't feel like she cared for Helio at all. But with rereading, and the more recent chapters with Helio's backstory (i havent caught up to it tho), I can see now that that behavior wasn't just a "she really don't give a fuck", but something more complicated. I don't think Medea could ever love Helio back the way he loves her, but she does care?

Anyways, as frustrated I am about Helio's backstory being way too long, he kinda needed it. He hasn't developed much for nearly the entire story, so like thank fuck he has an arc? The fact that it's so late tho?? I've had a negative opinion of him and Helidea for such a long time that idk what to feel about them even when my views are kinda changing.

[kisskissgotohell]

i just wanna point out that, like. it's okay to disagree with the main character. just because they're the pov of the story doesn't mean they're infallible or that their word is law? you can like that character that tried to kill the mc. you can think the mc made the wrong choice. you can forgive things that the mc would never forgive, or choose not to forgive things that the mc does, because you're not the main character. you are the reader of the story, and just because you can't change it (and it's not the author's responsibility to capitulate to fans) doesn't mean you can't form your own opinions about it. it's fictional! that's the point! have fun with it!!

[pinkfey]

was going to say this yesterday but lord forgive me all of a sudden i think max and warren are cute ://

[timeisacephalopod]

I saw a post like, awhile ago now that was mad about "like shaming" because people obviously would like Tumblr to function like Tumblr and not like Instagram or Twitter (no I will Not call it That) and it's like breh. If you see "reblog stuff because that's how this site works" and you get offended enough to call it "like shaming" then go back to a site where likes actually spread shit around instead of whining people would like you to use Tumblr as intended. Fucking "like shaming" no, for the last like seven years on this site the existing user base has repeatedly had to explain how Tumblr works and instead of just using the damn site that way you whine about like shaming??? If you want to use a like based social site then get off tumblr- like obviously you don't even like it here if you cannot use the site as intended without it being "shaming" to you??

[cyarsk52-20]

now WHY the FUCK??? my hatred for that man grows once again it's impressive really