#or people talking to me how they stopped feeling safe posting in fandom over that crap

[katyspersonal]

I know we don't talk and there's stuff we may not agree with. But I am truly sorry you've dealt with a lot of drama over fictional crap. And I'm sorry if my posts in the past ever contributed to that. Hope you have a better day.

Hey... That's all fine, don't worry! After all, it takes a lot of time and Insight to realise that Gehrman is a very gentle and respectful man and Godrick is an absolute gigachad kdkdkshdffhhgfds /lh /lh

But yeah, on a serious note. It was quite frustrating to find out the real motivation under all that... mess was something so pathetic, but at the same time this is what happens when people make engagement with media and fandoms a moral, political act. Not necessarily a problem, after all, I was the one who concluded that the way a fan judges fictional characters and other fans will very well reveal how cruel they are to real people who do something bad, or how much they will forgive based on personal sympathies. And my mad ravings about caring about female characters! I think the problem comes when a fan is so insecure that they have nothing else besides this defence of ideals through fandomry. If your only way to assert yourself is to be a good guy punishing the bad guys, and that mad raving loredigger discovers there is NO bad guy, what is left of you?

This is why it is crucial to have passion for nurturing rather than for undermining! I think if you speak like this, you've found this truth too? This is true that I don't know you very much (mutual-in-law thing), but to be honest.. you didn't poison my fandom experience at all? I tend to never be aware about discourse until someone basically calls me for help fhdhgsdgdfs Can't scout the fandom tag regularly!

But not only it actually was a quite long ago I saw a "negative" post from you, but also I've seen through the posts that my friends liked or reblogged from you that you've actually became very eager person to defend people's passion and interests! I think the post that particularly got stuck with me was when you resented seeing someone's light die after some Redditor asshole "well aktualy"'d a thing they were excited about creating (not exact wording but maybe you remember too)? Like... you are fine, man. At that point I realised that you were a good fan and in the end valued people's creativity and passion over personal preferences. That you never wanted to be THAT guy, even if your interpretation could not be further from someone else's. Coming to terms with what actually matters in fandomry is very mature and I am happy to see this attitude!

I am still glad that you messaged me about this though; I did not expect this, but thank you! I think I will continue getting involved in fictional discourse because my autistic senses cannot ignore factually incorrect takes with a clear insidious motive, and.. eh, sooner or later, I'll piss off the wrong guy again. Don't feel bad for me when it inevitably happens :p I've accepted the shortcomings when I decided to be the debate guy. Simply laughing at some gremlin starting a discourse with the girls in DMs and not stressing over it is only funny until I realise that newer fans could get misinformed right off the bat.

[nyaskitten]

EDIT: THIS POST IS INACCURATE !!!

I made the assumption Olive was editing the wiki articles, and while that's a very logical conclusion to reach, it was actually someone who shares the same viewpoints as them!!! Anything including the wiki articles and Olive's involvement is wrong and that's my bad!!!

Alright fellas, I guess we did it. We have reached the tipping point. I'm going to dedicate this post to calling out one specific person, @olivescales3, and their very toxic behavior. This post will be a bit messy, and I do apologize in advance, I'm writing this from the perspective of a Ninjago fan who also thinks beyond just the petty fandom stuff, what they're doing is just not cool.

I will clarify, I do not make this post for petty fandom drama, I make this to better spread awareness on some of the bullshit they're doing, so you can look out for and understand that they're bullshitting. Without further ado, I think we should just get into it.

So, what have they done?

Now, I should say while there is no 100000% concrete link between hyenabro and olivescales, I think based on their talking points (as well and the information I've recieved from friends in the Chima fandom, who have a bunch of prior experience with them,) it's safe to make this assumption!

So, what has olivescales DONE in this case? Simple, they've vandalized the Chima wiki on NUMEROUS occasions, even after several different people have revised their revisions, so as to discredit any conenctions between Dragons Rising and Chima.

(Green is their edits, red is the ones prior to theirs, I found this while going through their contributions section on their Fandom account, HyenaBro119)

As seen here, they have (under the username HyenaBro119) edited the pages for Chima AND the Forever Rock (I have two similar screenshots of essentially the same thing, one was from the Forever Rock article, the other was from Chima) and claimed Ninjago's lore to be some alternate universe. To further validate it, they write "Ras' visit to," but Ras NEVER claimed to have VISITED these locations, just that he knows them. They also claim the Forever Rock was destroyed, a blatant lie. Only a small section of rock on the Forever Rock was actually destroyed, not the whole thing.

Now, you're gonna ask "but Raine, how can you 100000% say it's them?" and I will cite common sense. While I cannot directly tie Olive to hyena, I CAN say their wording is SO very similar.

Both Hyena and Olive call DR "a parallel/alternate universe," and again, claim Forever Rock was destroyed, WHICH IS A FULL ON LIE. They're so adamant to protect "the sanctity of Chima's pre-established, set-in-stone lore" that they can't stop to think maybe, JUST MAYBE, sometimes a story can get new lore which can ALSO be canon!

I'd also love to share this HILARIOUS screenshot of one of their many posts, which not only backs up what I'm saying, but it's like damn they really set themself up huh!

Gee I wonder why you feel alone! Maybe it's because you are! Maybe it's because you're lying and making shit up to prove yourself right! No one is as big of a hater as you!

The also LOVE saying Ninjago cannot do anything with Chima unless they get express permission from the creator of Chima, some guy named John Derevlany, but oh man what's this I see before me?

CO-CREATOR? Oh but Olive, I thought he was the CREATOR of Chima, not CO-creator... ALSO Lego owns the rights to Chima, and Ninjago, and every other theme, as said by Doc himself! If anything he wasn't really dodging the question, just giving a vague answer, because he doesn't know much about the old contracts!

From what he said, it's clear that if they wanted to use anything from the other themes, they'd have to consult folks over at LEGO, not John Derevlany or Tommy A.!

Now here's the THING, I GET where they're coming from, it CAN be annoying to have people only care about a thing you like in relation to something else, but when you're going out of your way to argue that none of it can be canon and it's all an alternate universe it's like... god it's so sad and pathetic really.

Their lies and BS don't even end there with the wiki shit, because I have THIS glorious gem.

A) They bring up that the Ninjago folk do not know who the Phoenixes are which is like, okay??? Why the fuck are they gonna know about how another universe was created??? That's like if someone told me I don't exist in the same universe as my glasses because I have no clue who made them, that is to say, that's stupid as FUCK to say!

B) OH they say something REAAALLL funny ohohohho I am actually dying. Olive says the Phoenix icon "appeared in a Ninjago episode" and "Ninjago tends to reuse assets." Yep, NINJAGO is the one who reused the phoenix symbol, mhm. The symbol that was made in 2011 for NINJAGO, which cameoed in CHIMA in 2014, was actually just an asset reuse by Ninjago. I feel like this actually goes to show how desparate they are to feel right and validated, because this? This a lie! Ninjago made the symbol, and because Tommy A. is co-creator to both, he wanted to slip in a neat Ninjago reference, so he slipped in the Phoenix symbol Nya uses for the Phoenix tribe, not the other way around!

Another REALLY funny thing they did, aside from the wiki and Phoenix symbol shit, was this hilarious attempt at being right!

Yes, the compared the WOLF Masks to BATman's cowl, and did a horribly rough comparison illustration that very much does not make sense. If you actually compared them side by side, the only similarities would be they're both angry animal themed mask with pointy ears, which does NOT go very far in the long run. The foreheads they drew aren't even the same fucking shape lol.

OH ANS WE CANNOT FORGET THIS ONE! Their using a post about the Palestinian genocide and boycotting Lego in order to complain about Ninjago.

They claim Ninjago is produced by Lego, unlike other Lego shows, which is an EXTREMELY bullshit fucking claim. Just like Chima and Nexo Knights, Ninjago is produced by Lego, it's not JUST Ninjago produced by Lego, they are all Canadian-Danish CGI action shows, and they're all known to have Tommy Andreasen involved in the creation of them.

They're using a post about boycotting for the sake of innocent people DYING to complain about a lego ninja show for... killing evil people? It doesn't glorify war, the worst it does in regards to war is like not address how fucked up it can be in regards to the Serpentine War, but that's like it. I think it's so funny they want to single out Ninjago as if it's the only TV series where villains die for trying to conquer/destroy the world.

So, what do I want the takeaway from this post to be? What do I want you to get from it? I don't really know anymore, I just don't want Olive's horrendously toxic behaviors, and straight up lies to stop. If anything I think it's beautiful that Ninjago is making others interested in revisiting Chima again, stop being such a fucking hater dude. They act like Chima is some holy grail of Lego, the greatest thing since bread, but it, just like Ninjago, Dreamzzz, Hidden Side, and Nexo Knights, have Tommy in creative roles.

To act like Chima is somehow greater than is to place it on an unrealistic pedestal as if it's a godsend, when in reality it was co-created by Tommy Fucking Andreasen.

If you read through all of this, I do THOROUGHLY appreciate it, I didn't mean for this post to descend into an angry ramble but ehhh yk how it is. And Olive, if you see this, please, just stop with the bullshit.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I just wanted to say that the way you characterize and talk about Miguel has actually really helped me with thinking about how to write for him 😭 genuinely I love the way you describe him as an actual like person and not just some sex addict or someone who's extremely distant and cold. I hope you continue writing mild Miguel because it's so refreshing compared to all the other shit I see 😭💕

THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS A MIGUEL SAFE SPACE AND LIKE- CAN I BE REAL FOR A SECOND???

MIGUEL ISN'T AN ASSHOLE YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST MEAN - A.K.A -

My Defense & Evidence of a Milder, Non-aggressive Sympathetic Miguel O'hara.

[This is a half-break down half rant about Mild Miguel, when we see Miguel's true nature, and what fandom gets wrong about him. I have my evidence.

this is shorter than my usual posts but I'm going absolute apeshit Miguel Mode by the end so sorry you have to see that.]

I think Miguel and Hobie are the two most complex characters in the film. Like - both of them equally.

It's just really easy to explain one over the other.

I feel this way because every character we see in the entire movie - Miles, Gwen, Peter, Jess, Rio, Jeff, The Spot, everyone - is forthcoming and clear about their intentions and motive throughout the movie.

When we're watching the movie the first time, we understand Miles motive, and Peter's, and Gwen. In real time. It's there and stated. Miles wants to save his dad, Peter wants to be a better mentor, Gwen just wants peace basically.

But when we're watching for the first time - we have no idea what Hobie OR Miguel is capable of until they do it.

They are the two we're surprised by. (And they're also exact opposites who somehow don't seem to be complete adversaries)

They're the only two within the film who we are left to speculate their motive, their drive, and what they'll do next.

They're the only two in the film who are truly meant to catch us off guard with their behavior.

Leading up to Hobie's big twist, there was a LOT of misdirection. I think the same is true for Miguel...but like..the fandom isn't picking up on the misdirection AT ALL.

I have a lot of ideas and thoughts about Miguel and his character and honestly I think it's the exact opposite of what the fandom sees.

But when its's Hobie, it's very easy to understand him, just read the wiki on Punk and you're good.

But I don't think anyone has look closer at Miguel yet.

I genuinely believe that the reason Miles got away was because Miguel went soft.

He was watching the videos of Gaby to remind himself why he was doing this - why he had to stand his ground, but when Miles started panicking, and begging to know how much time he had left - Miguel slipped up. He went soft.

And he told him 'two days'.

You can see it in Miguel's face when Miles is asking.

That's not the face of a man considering assault. That's not anger. He's wavering.

He didn't have to tell Miles how long he had left. But he did - why? Cause he thought 'I'd kill for two days with Gabby. A lot of people get less warning about death - Maybe he can spend those two days with his fath-'

and then Miles is like 'word?? two days to stop you?? iight im out also fuck yall' - which understandable have a nice day

But like......Miguel wouldn't have said it if he knew it would fuck him over. He didn't KNOW Miles was radicalized cause he didn't know Hobie had spoken to him. He thought that telling him might convince him. If he knew Miles was gonna run - there's no need to tell him anything.

He could've lied and said "I DON'T KNOW. But maybe let's talk about this."

But he didn't. He slipped up.

He's SOFT. Everytime he's mean, or angry - He has to think about it. Like when he looked at Hobie - and thought about it. He has to MAKE himself do it. It isn't natural to him.

Nobody else in the room was gonna answer Miles. Miles wouldn't have known. But Miguel told him two days. And because of that, that specific slip-up, Miles is trying to save his dad.

Why? Because he's SOFT. CAPITAL S SOFT.

Miguel is not a raging monster. Or aggressive. Or manipulative.

He's a guy who thinks he's holding the universe together with duct tape and a kid is in front of him begging to know how long they have left with their father and he tells them and because of that they get away and now everything he worked for is gonna emplode in his face because he had a SOFT SPOT FOR A KID AGAIN AND DID SOMETHING HE SHOULDN'T AGAIN AND TOLD HIM AND NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA DIE AGAIN BECAUSE HE MESSED WITH THE MULTIVERSE AGAIN FUCK-

Like...yeah- he snapped. A normal person would snap. I've snapped for way less and a lot of other people have.

Granted, we don't go mauling children.

I don't know, I just feel like he's an incredibly layered character.

Because when he's ranting and screaming at Gwen like an irritated school teacher we're already like 'oh fuck you dude but also fuck you ;)'

so when he's right there doing things like this - we don't see it. The same way we don't see Hobie's stealing - because we think we have him figured out.

We don't see Miguel's tenderness.

Because we assume we know who he is - he's cold and aggressive and rude and hates Miles,

but like...is he really?

Miles is getting upset - and the whole conversation leading up to it Miguel has talked to him from a far, hands when Miles can see them. He's not trying to stand over him, or intimidate him. Miguel knows he's scary. He knows how to be scary.

He isn't trying to scare Miles. The exact opposite. He's trying to comfort him.

And when Miles starts lashing out - Miguel is genuinely surprised. That isn't the look of someone who THINKS he's about to hurt this kid.

He's telling Miles, hands up "Hey, sorry. I'm not trying to hurt you." He immediately lets go, backs up.

I just---- FUCK, PEOPLE THE MAN IS STANDING RIGHT THERE THATS MILD MIGUEL LOOK AT HIM

If you really really think Miguel is naturally aggressive, or angry, or cold -

If you write him that way -

I ask that you rewatch the leading up to Miles' escape. Look at his body language. Watch him, and look at his face. That's all I ask.

I just kjsjrghjkSIGHIDDGU I CAN'T STAND FOR THIS INJUSTICE AND EMOTIONAL ILLITERACY

HES NOT A GOOD GUY BUT LIKE....HE'S ... THE ONE YALL ARE SERVING...COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAN.

He's SOFT. The same way he caved for Gwen after a little pushing. He caved for Miles after a little pushing. That's why he told him two days. SOFT

MILD MIGUEL, SOFT MIGUEL, WANTS TO DO THE HARD THING BUT FUCK HE CAN'T DO IT MIGUEL, HAS TO STAND COMPLETELY STILL AND UNMOVING TO NOT CAVE TO MAYDAY MIGUEL, MIGUEL WHO LOVES PEOPLE BUT KEEPS HIS DISTANCE AND SHUTS HIS MOUTH BECAUSE PEOPLE GET HURT MIGUEL MIGUEL MIGUEL

I'm going to go Miguel Mode.

If understanding Hobie was a house, the fandom is standing out on the road.

If understanding Miguel was a house, the people aren't even in the same neighborhood. We're in the next state over. Other side of the globe. Off base by like 12 zipcodes and 4 times zones

Mild Miguel. Please tell me you're seeing this.

Am I crazy for thinking that the slip up - of telling Miles two days - wasn't out of stupidity but PITY? SYMPATHY?

Because Miguel thinks getting to spend two whole days with some you'll lose is a BLESSING to him - not a curse.

Even though to ANY non-traumatized person - it would be a curse.

...... yo

Miguel stepped into Gabriellas life because he didn't want her to lose a father. He KNOWS losing a father hurts.

So when Miles is there in front of him, talking about not wanting to lose his father - Miguel KNOWS how he feels. Gabby didn't want to lose her dad either.

Miguel UNDERSTANDS. He's a FATHER -

HE KNOWS HE'S BEING THE BAD GUY HE KNOWS ITS WRONG NOT TO STEP IN THATS WHY HE STEPPED IN FOR GABRIELLA IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS ISN'T THE PERSON HE WANTS TO BE OR THOUGHT HE'D BECOME YOU PEOPLE ARE MEAN AND HORNY -

I- I can't even i'm sorry I -

I have a longer post about this in the works like breaking down all of his body language from his moments with MJ and Hobie and like teverything

but ITS NOT EVEN LIKE I THINK HE'S RIGHT I JUST CANT STAND PEOPLE BEING THIS WRONG ABOUT IT I CANT

If you see him as aggressive or cold this post isn't meant to be an attack. I am just down bad for Mild Miguel and I'm going delirious with hunger and starvation for him

#Justice4MildMiguel Maybe I'm huffing copium but also i know im fucking not he's RIGHT THERE

[And if you hate Miguel like hate hate him Moche says dishonor on you dishonor on your cow dishonor your family and your land in the name of Aia Paec Almighty]

If you made it this far....Imsorry you had to see me that way I don't know what came over me here's a picture of Hobie to help me calm down.

(aka Hobie judging the fuck outta me in my head)

I need a glass of water. Bye.

[florsial]

you should totally talk about ur lily more😔 (pleasepleaplepleasepleaspeleaapleaase)

Sigh, I have a very love-hate relationship with Lily with how some of her fans can get. Unfortunately, I did post about her at some point but took it down. Truthfully, I do love her in my own personal way.

Anyways, here's some headcanons:

-She's from Spain and was raised Catholic. Her family moved to the UK and unlike Petunia, Lily settled kinda well while Petunia wasn't used to the sudden change in environment. They moved when Lily was 10 and Petunia was 12.

-I feel like people will hate me for this, but I think her friendship with Severus was one of the most important ones. First friend-first love kinda of thing. They were each other's first person and even when they part ways, Lily will still feel fond of him even when they both wronged each other (because there is no way in hell two lonely teens weren't gonna hurt each other one way or another). Modern AU version of them is just two teenage girls who don't know where the boundaries of romantic-platonic end and begin which causes a lot of weird feelings and toxicity (don't ask how I know that)

-She's like one of those people who are like "Stop doing that, you're making me stressed", and the other person just placed a book in a different place. There is always a certain way she likes things done because she feels like works better, so if another way is introduced, she will be skeptical about its efficiency

-I don't see her reading fiction books all that much. She would much prefer biographies to draw her life inspirations from, literature essays to validate her internal points, and poems for small readings to just relax with. I think if she would read nonfiction, they would definitely have an overall message that she obsesses over. However, I think she would LOVE magazines.

-Not all that into movies, I don't think she would have the patience to watch them.

-We as a fandom must never forget her skill for potions. I think in the muggle world, she was very into chemistry (I've always found this funny stereotype about religious people not liking stuff like chemistry)

-Much more easily agitated during the war. Her head was constantly filling with regrets and a back-and-forth desire to run back to Petunia or stay with the Order. Once Harry was born, she kinda had this melancholy look about her, she won't be able to return or try to make amends with her sister for a long long time, or if she's even able to. At every meeting, she had a frustrated look in her eye but when she was pregnant/after Harry's birth, she just looked like she was reluctantly accepting a terrible fate. She's happy with the family she's crafted for herself but also misses when she didn't have to go through the loneliness of making one for herself because she had Petunia and that was more than enough for Lily.

-I don't think she regrets helping muggles at all. That's not what I'm saying. I'm more in the thinking that she wanted to the comfort of her own family in a such difficult time. Jealously when Regulus dies, Sirius can finally mourn and put his family to rest while Lily fears for her family's life every day as they live, living in regret and feeling like an outcast. James and his parents and her desire for her mother when she's pregnant, yes Effie is kind, but she isn't Lily's mom. Remus has the comfort of knowing his family is safe because Lyall is a wizard, and the same can go for Peter. Lily's family probably doesn't even know what was happening.

-All that anger and frustration kinda boils over and I WISH that JK Rowling made her more angry before her death. Lily's life was unfair! She deserved to yell and scream, plea for her son's life but also cuss out Voldemort. Screaming and crying (literally), shaking with fear but also anger, and I know, female characters can be soft/sensitive/emotional, it's not a bad thing. It's just I wish she was more angry/a mess because she was seen as a witty, sharp-tongued girl! This stereotypical fierce redhead! I would've been fine with her simply pleading for her son's life even in the most pathetic way (no shame) but her personality was established as being very fierce by JK Rowling!! But this could honestly be just me and yes, I know, situations change people sometimes. I just wished there was more anger, or maybe I'm angry on her behalf lol

-Teenage Lily is the helpless romantic, the girl who reads real-life love stories to prove love is real, the girl who cheers her boyfriend on the field, and the girl with gum and finished homework notes that could be given to anyone who needed them. But 20-21 year old Lily the tired woman who cried for her mother when she had her first child, the tired woman who wanted her sister's hugs again, the tired woman with sickly green eyes and moved too slowly for a woman in her early 20s, and the tired woman who watched everyone like a hawk at Order meetings that talked of more death. She sits in the corner, the chair seemingly too big for her, or anyone for that matter, and watches with frustrations simmering under her eyes. Sometimes give a cutting remark that Sirius laughs to.

[fandomgirlz01]

This Can’t Be The End Pt. 4

Nick Stokes X Reader

Imagine on my fandom Instagram?: No  

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: No

Style of Writing: Series 

Rating: PG-13 ~ For fluff and cuteness, but more adult commentary or even some triggering content.

Edited: Yes

Word count: 5,812

Post Date & Time: August 4th 2024 at 11: 44 PM

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings here

Listen to the story be read out loud here {coming soon}.  

Summary: Based off of S5 Es24 & 25 When Nick gets kidnapped, the reader is forced to fear the worst for her husband as she and the team work the case with hopes of bringing him home safe. 

Y/n’s Pov:

My eyes shoot open and I immediately sit up. I frown when I see where I am, not fully remembering how I got here. Thinking over where I remember being last, I deduce that Warrick must have brought me in here after I fell asleep. 

“Did you hear they thought they found Nick only for it to actually be a dog?” Isadora, one of the other team members, asks as she leans into another from her team. 

“No. What kind of dog was it?” Marcela questions in an interested tone as they keep talking like they don’t know I’m here. 

“It was a Dalmatian. I hear Warrick's going over the box now,” Isadora continues on and I just listen as carefully as I can. 

“Did the dog survive?” Marcela asks and Isadora shakes her head. 

“Awe, that's sad. Poor dog. People are so cruel nowadays,” Marcela croons and Isadora nods. 

“Yeah. Apparently Warrick lost it,” Marcela comments as she takes a sip of her drink and Isadora shrugs. 

“I mean, can you blame him? That’s his team member out there,” Isadora comments back. 

“Yeah, his sexy team mate,” Marcela adds on with a bounce of her eyebrows and I roll my eyes. 

“Marcela, dear. He’s married,” Isadora tells her with a raised eyebrow and small chuckle of amusement. 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t like him from afar,” Marcela comments with a shrug and Isadora laughs. 

“I’m pretty sure it means that you can’t, but what about Warrick? He’s pretty hot too,” Isadora asks and Marcela waves her off. 

“He's married too, remember? Not to mention he’s got a temper. Guys with tempers aren’t always good to have around,” Marcela explains and I roll my eyes again. 

Finally I can’t take it anymore, not wanting to hear people gossip about how hot my husband or brother figure is when Nick’s out there somewhere, fighting to come home to me. I push myself up off the couch and hear gasps, making me turn to look at the two women before me. They each give me sorrowful yet horrified looks. 

“Oh my gosh. Y/n, we are so sorry. We didn’t know you were there,” Isadora apologizes and I shrug ‘as if that makes it better that you were just gossiping about me… and the people who matter most to me,’ I think as I hold back a roll of my eyes. 

“It’s fine, really. Uhh, I’m going to find Warrick. Do you know what lab he’s in?” I ask, starting to fidget as an uncomfortable feeling washes over me. 

“Oh, yeah. I think I heard he’s in lab 345,” Isadora answers me and I nod. 

“Thanks. I’ll, uhh, see you girls around,” I reply as I give them a small wave before turning and leaving in search of Warrick. 

For the millionth time in the last few days I find myself walking down all the many hallways again. I walk past every lab as I look for the one that Warrick supposedly is in. I pass each lab and look at each number of labs before coming to a stop in front of 345. 

When I come to a stop I see Warrick inside working on a big clear plexiglass box. With a sigh, I open the door and walk in as he continues to work. I watch him for a few minutes as he picks a few parts up and inspects them. 

After a few minutes, I walk over to him and hug him from behind. He tenses for a moment before turning around and hugging me back. 

“What’s up, mamas?” he asks and I blink back a few tears. 

“I overheard a few of the others talking about what happened while I was asleep. They told me where you were and I came to find you,” I tell him and he sighs, nodding. 

“I swear I came to tell you after it happened, but you finally looked semi-peaceful. You needed the sleep,” he explains and I nod my understanding. 

“Don’t worry, B, I get it. Really. I do,” I promise him and he lets out a puff of air. 

“Good. I thought you were going to be mad at me,” he comments and I purse my lips. 

“Now doesn’t really feel like the time for anger,” I whisper out and he chuckles. 

“Only you. Y/n. Only you. You get angry once, then never again even when you’re going through something bad,” he replies in astonishment and I shrug. 

“Mind if I keep you company while you finish this up? It’s a lot better than hearing all the gossip about my husband,” I try to playfully joke, but it comes out sounding more half-hearted than anything and he sighs. 

“You want me to go tell em’ what for?” he asks and I pause. 

“As nice as that sounds… I’d rather you be here working on trying to find Nicky,” I reply and he smiles softly as I sit down. 

“In that case, hang out here all you want, mamas,” he agrees and I give him a soft thankful smile before he turns around to get back to work. 

He picks over what seems to be the fan that would supply the air once again before taking it apart. He puts down the tube that was connected to it before picking up his flashlight and looking down the opening of the fan itself. Then he takes the tube off of where it’s connected to the box and looks through the hole that was left from removing it. 

“So I, ahh… heard you lost it out there,” I speak up as he moves around the box. 

“Uhh, yeah. You weren’t supposed to know that…” he tells me as he takes the grate off the other side of the hole. 

“It’s ok, you know? It’s ok you lost it,” I sympathize with him as he continues to look over the area of the box. 

“No. It’s not ok. It took time off from finding Nick. I should’ve kept my head level,” he plays it off and I shake my head. 

“Rick. He’s like family to you just as much as he is family to me. It’s understandable that you'd lose it. I mean, I lost it on you earlier,” I again sympathize with him and he sighs as he continues to work on the box. 

“You didn’t exactly lose it, mamas. You got a little angry, there’s a difference,” he dismisses me again and I roll my eyes. 

“I bit your head off. There really isn’t a difference,” I pointedly tell him as I cross my arms and he nods. 

“Ok. Ok. You win,” he reluctantly agrees as he now grabs a battery and starts using the wires connected to the box, trying to see how they hook up. 

Once he has it hooked up, the light turns on as well as the fan. He looks over it as the meter he has connected to it counts up higher and higher. He picks up the fan and looks at it before looking at the meter. 

“Damn it,” he mutters as he puts the fan down with a sigh. 

“What?” I ask him and he pauses. 

“I think we need to find Catherine,” he says and I jump as he walks over to the phone. 

He stands there with the phone to his ear and he waits for her to answer. When she does, he talks to her for a moment before looking over at me and moving the speaker from his mouth. 

“Catherine wants you to go to the computer lab. Says Grissom needs you,” he tells me and I sigh before standing up. 

“I’m on my way,” I tell him as I pass him and he goes back to talking to her. 

Third Person Pov:

Gil, Archie and Sarah sit in the computer lab watching Nick, who now pulls out a recorder and holds it up to mouth to talk into it. Gil, who knows how to read lips, now decides to read Nick’s as he talks. 

“My name is Nick Stokes. If anyone… finds this tape, turn it in to the Las Vegas… PD. There should be a reward…” he starts and Gil watches with sad eyes as he sits up a bit more. 

“Mom. Sisko… y/n….” Gil reads Nick’s lips and decides to start writing what Nick is saying. 

“Hey Sara, would you call Catherine and have her send y/n here?” he asks her as he keeps his eyes focused on what Nick is saying.  

“Yeah. Ok,” Sara agrees as she picks up the phone and calls Catherine. 

“…well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it’s all I got,” Nick continues on and Grissom keeps his eyes trained on the screen as he writes. 

“I love you. You raised me right… and I’m going to miss you,” Nick says into the recorder, getting choked up with every word. 

“Y/n. I’m so sorry I can’t be with you, sweetheart, and our future child. I love you most and I’ll miss you the most too. P… promise me you’ll go on that trip I promised you, even if I’m not there to take it with you. Promise me you’ll find someone to look after you…” Nick goes on saying his goodbyes, only getting more choked up and stuttering every few minutes. 

As he goes on, Grissom’s eyes widen at the mention of a child, but he quickly plays it off.

“As for the rest of you guys. I know you did the best you could to find me and get me home to my beautiful wife,” he continues on as Grissom continues to read his lips. 

“Grissom…” he starts and that’s when Grissom stops writing it down, focusing on what he’s saying to him. 

“No, you never did, Nick,” Grissom sighs as he replies to Nick out loud. 

He continues to watch as Nick cries, but soon he starts to freak out. Grissom watches carefully as confusion washes over him. 

“He’s going into convolutions. He’s losing it!” Sara comments just as y/n walks in. 

Y/n walks over to Grissom, who spares her a quick look before watching alongside her as Nick seems to be thrashing around. Y/n lets out a breath as she closes her eyes, not being able to watch it anymore. 

“What’s going on?!” Sara voices her exact thoughts as they continue to watch. 

“Wha…?” Grissom goes to ask, but pauses when he sees it. 

“Wait a minute…” he says in realization as he picks up his mouse to zoom in on Nick. 

“Ants…” Grissom confirms what he zooms in on, making y/n open her eyes. 

“My God, he’s being eaten alive,” Grissom observes as they all watch the ants in the box with him. 

Together they all watch in sadness as he withers around, just trying anything to get the ants away and not succeeding. He pulls a glove out of his pocket and uses it to stuff up his nose. 

“That’s it, Nicky… stay still… they won’t bite. As much,” Grissom proudly says before looking up at y/n. 

“I have something for you,” he tells the girl and she arches an eyebrow. 

He folds up the paper and hands it to her, making more confusion wash over her. He smiles softly and reassuringly at her. 

“These ants could help us find him, but in the meantime, I think you should hear what he had to say to you,” Grissom tells her as he sets a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

“T…Thanks,” she whispers out as she takes the paper before turning to leave and head back to Warrick. 

“Oh and y/n. Congratulations,” he replies, making her turn around and look at him. 

He gives her a small knowing smile and she can’t help but to just smile back. She gives him a small ‘thank you,’ in response with a nod before fully turning and walking back to where she’d left Warrick. 

Y/n’s Pov: 

I start back to the lab Warrick is in before making a split second decision to go into the locker room instead. I quickly look around just to make sure I’m alone and when I find that I am I sigh as I take a seat on the bench. I hold the paper Grissom gave me and I go to open it, but pause. 

I take a deep breath before trying to open it again, but again I fail. Tears of frustration make their way to my face and I sigh as I try to hold them back. With one last puff of air, I open the paper to read over it. 

“My name is Nick Stokes. If anyone… finds this tape, turn it in to the Las Vegas… PD. There should be a reward…” is the first line I read and a gasp leaves my lips.

“Mom. Sisko… y/n….” Is the next line and a tear falls as I suck in a breath. 

I quickly close the paper for a moment as more and more tears build up. I take a moment to let my tears fall before reopening the paper and continuing on with sniffles. 

“…well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it’s all I got,” I read and a choked sound leaves my throat as I put my other hand over my mouth. 

“I love you. You raised me right… and I’m going to miss you,” more tears fall as my lip starts to tremble and I take another pause before starting to read again. 

“Y/n. I’m so sorry I can’t be with you, sweetheart, and our future child. I love you most and I’ll miss you the most too. P… promise me you’ll go on that trip I promised you even if I’m not there to take it with you. Promise me you’ll find someone to look after you…” by the end I’m fully sobbing as I hold the paper close to my chest. 

I sit there for a good few minutes before sobering up and wiping at my face. I sigh softly before getting up from the bench and standing in front of my locker. I pause a moment as I look at Nick’s locker that Grissom so nicely assigned right next to mine on our first day.

I quickly shake my head and bite my lip before opening my locker. I set the note lightly on the shelf and stand frozen for a moment before closing it. With a very heavy breath, I open Nick’s locker. 

It’s then I let out another very harsh breath when I see the sonogram he has tucked under his jeans:

I read the top where Nick had nicely written out: baby Stokes 9 weeks with a small smiley face. I quickly slide it back under and close the locker. With another heavy sigh, I walk over to the sink and wash my face with cold water. 

“He’ll be home. He will be,” I whisper down to my stomach before standing straight again. 

I look myself over and sigh once more before walking out of the locker room. I walk back to where I had left Warrick and find Greg, Catherine, and Hodges in the room with him. 

“This has got to be a prototype. It was probably built to test how long he could keep somebody alive inside,” Catherine observes out loud as she walks around the box with her flashlight. 

“Hi, mamas. You doing ok?” Warrick asks me when he sees me come up next to him. 

I keep quiet with my arms wrapping themselves around my stomach and I shake my head. Warrick finally catches sight of my eyes and sighs before pulling me into his side. 

“Now, what are those?” Hodges questions as he bends down and points to something underneath the box, making Greg, who’s under it, pause to look at him. 

“I don’t know,” Greg replies and Hodges seems to understand that it was a stupid question as he stands up. 

“All right,” Warrick speaks up, getting all of our attention as he straightens up a bit, keeping me in a side hug. 

“Based on this battery and what’s running off of it,” Warrick starts to explain, but pauses for a moment as if thinking over how to explain it better while glancing at me as he hesitates. 

“And the fact that we kept the damn light on for as long as we did,” he continues to explain, pausing again as he takes in a big breath. 

“I figure Nick’s got another 90 minutes left in there,” he concludes and I take in a harsh breath as reality slowly starts to set in even more. 

It goes quiet for a moment, but Warrick lifts his arm with his watch and pulls it up past my face to set it with the hand he has around my neck still. He pulls it away and I see the watch says 1:30 on it. 

“So this is it… I’m going to lose my husband…” I whisper out before sinking to the floor, but Warrick quickly grabs hold of me, slowing me down so I don’t hurt myself. 

“No, no. We’re going to find him, mamas. I promised. When do I not keep my promises?” Warrick asks, but I don’t reply as I shake my head in denial and a million thoughts fly through my head. 

“Y/n. Hey. Y/n. It’s going to be okay!” Catherine shouts a bit and it’s only then I realize I’m having a panic attack. 

“Damn, she’s having a panic attack. Greg, go get some water, Hodges, go inform Grissom,” Catherine commands before she bends down in front of me. 

Both Greg and Hodges nod, eyes wide with worry before rushing out. Warrick now sits with my back against his side as I try to breathe. 

“Ok. Y/n. Honey, breath with me,” she commands me softly as she shows me how to breathe. 

“Ok. In… and out… just like that,” she couches me and my breath starts to slow down, but still not where it should be. 

“Ok. I’m going to have you do the five senses, ok?” she asks me softly and I nod at her. 

“Ok. What do you feel?” she questions and she holds up her hand for me. 

“I… I… I feel your hand a…a..and Warrick behind m…m…me,” I stutter out and she nods with a small smile. 

“Good. Good. Now what do you see?” she asks and I look around. 

“I see that evil b…b…box,” I tell her and she nods. 

“Ok… bad place to ask that. Let’s just move on. What do you hear?” she asks and I shake my head, closing my eyes. 

“I h…hear you and Warrick,” I tell her and she nods encouragingly when I reopen my eyes. 

“Ok. Now taste,” she inquires and my eyebrows knit together. 

“Umm, nothing. I haven’t eaten anything for a while,” I tell her in confusion and she just smiles at me. 

“Panic attack averted. Here, drink this,” she comments as she holds a water out to me and it’s only then I realize Greg had come back. 

“Thank you guys,” I tell them and they all smile softly at me. 

“Anytime y-” Catherine starts, but she gets cut off when Hodges comes rushing back in. 

Nick’s Pov:

♪ It was Christmas in Las Vegas, 

when the locals take the town ♪

♪ Theresa hit a streak And laid her waitress apron down She’d been playing penny poker over at the old gold spike she’s won at Texas hold ‘em So she switched to let it ride ♪

I sing softly to myself to try and keep calm. Thinking of the lyrics rather than the situation I’m in and how much y/n must be scared. 

The singing doesn’t get my mind off of things for long and soon I find myself thinking of just getting home again. I think about just wanting to sit and watch a movie from the red box with y/n again. I’m soon pulled from my thoughts though when there’s a shifting sound. 

I grab another one of the glow sticks and pop it, making it come to life as the creaking noise gets louder. 

“Hey! I’m, in here!” I yell out as I hit the plexiglass in hopes that I’m being saved. 

“Hey!” I continue to yell, my voice cracking as I keep hitting the plexiglass. 

♪ It was Christmas in Las Vegas, 

when the locals take the town ♪

♪ Theresa hit a streak And laid her waitress apron down… ♪

I start to sing as loudly as I can again, but my breath slowly fails and my head falls back down as I realize nobody’s here. It’s only a few minutes later when a loud crack sound starts and I see the plexiglass start to crack slowly up the sides of the box. I keep the glow stick low as I breathe hard while watching it crack more and more. 

“Stop… no, no,” I whisper out as I put my hand up to the plexiglass. 

“Oh, my God,” I whisper out in fear the more it cracks with no signs of stopping. Soon dirt starts to break those and my feet are under a mountain of it.

Third Person Pov: 

Once the ant crawls farther into view Grissom hits the print button and as soon as the picture of the screen prints he’s ripping it off the printer. Gil quickly rushes to his office and looks through all the books he has. Soon he’s pulling one from the shelf and flips through it till it lands on the page he’s looking for. 

He pauses when he thinks he’s found it before picking up the screen shot to look at the ant again. 

“Solenopsis invicta,” Grissom says out loud to himself as he confirms what kind of ant it is. 

Y/n’s Pov: 

“Grissom’s got something. He wants us all in evidence meeting room 4 now,” he rushes out as he stands against the door frame, panting for air. 

“We’re on our way. Warrick, you got her?” Catherine asks as she looks behind me. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Go. We’ll meet you guys there,” he promises and she nods before reaching out for me. 

I grab her hand and she gives mine a firm squeeze. She gives a tight lipped smile before getting up and heading out of the lab. Greg bends down and puts a hand on my shoulder. 

“Hang in there, y/n. Nick’s coming home,” he tells me as he squeezes my shoulder before getting up to follow Hodges and Catherine. 

Warrick sits with me for a moment as I continue to just calm down. Once my breathing is fully back to normal, Warrick gets up. 

“Ok. Slowly. Slowly,” Warrick tells me as he helps me up alongside him. 

“Thank you, B…” I say when we’re both standing and I squeeze his forearm as I give him a light smile. 

“Anytime, mamas. You know that,” he tells me as he smiles back at me. 

I sigh and hold a hand to my head as I start to feel a little tired. Warrick chuckles lightly, making me look up at him in confusion. 

“Tired?” he asks me and I huff at his obvious jokeful tone. 

“I’m beat, but I’m not sleeping till Nick’s right next to me,” I answer his question and he smiles, shaking his head. 

“I wouldn’t have guessed or suggested anything else, mamas,” he tells me as he holds his hands up in surrender, making me finally laugh for the first time since all of this happened. 

“Oh please, you so would have,” I comment with a roll of my eyes and he chuckles. 

“Maybe I would have, maybe not. Come on. Let’s go find your husband,” he tells me and I smile up at him as he wraps an arm around my shoulder. 

Together we walk to meet up with everyone else in evidence room 4. They all rush around getting stuff ready and just Warrick and I walk in, Grissom rushes in. Warrick and I stand off to the side as he keeps his arm around me. 

“They’re fire ants, very rare in Nevada. They don’t like our soil. The only places you find them around Vegas are in plant and tree nurseries,” Grissom announces as he walks around the table to where Catherine is sitting at a computer. 

Warrick lets go of me before making me sit in the chair Catherine just abandoned. He starts to look at a stack of papers Catherine just printed and crosses off places not in the search grid. 

“There’s 11 nurseries in the greater Las Vegas area!” Catherine adds on what she found from a quick search. 

“Okay, I’ve got the webcam trace down to here,” Archie speaks next as he circles the area he narrowed it down to on the map and Warrick starts crossing things off his list. 

“And the data from the black box in Walter Gordon’s truck gave us a 23-mile travel radius,” Greg adds on as he too circles his findings on the map, making the circles overlap ever so slightly. 

“Okay, I’ve got two nurseries within the overlap area. Here! And here!” Warrick announces as he walks up to the table and draws two x’s over the spots. 

“Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Kelly Gordon, the daughter, worked with plants,” Sara explains and we all look at her.

“Hold on. Hold on,” Sara says before she rushes out of the room, making us all wait about a minute before she comes running back in with a file in her hand. 

“Hey guys, Nick is here,” she says as she points to the x on the left that Warrick had drawn. 

“Well, pack up everyone, let’s go! I’ll call the owner and talk to him on the way,” Grissom exclaims and I jump up as everyone starts rushing out of the room. 

“Hey. Maybe you should stay here,” Warrick tells me and I immediately shake my head. 

“If you think for one minute that I’m sitting back here while you all go find my husband, you're dead wrong, B,” I reply and he sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Mama, we don’t know what-” he starts but gets cut off. 

“Let her come, Warrick. She’s allowed to,” Grissom interrupts with a soft smile my way. 

“What! But-” Warrick starts, but stops when Grissom just nods at him. 

“Ok… fine. At least wear your vest? Just in case,” Warrick tells me and I nod at him. 

“If it’ll make you feel better for me too, I will. I’ll meet you at your car,” I promise him with a firm nod before rushing off to the locker room. 

Once in the locker room, I come to stop in front of my locker and quickly open it. I grab my vest out before slamming it shut once again. I quickly strap my vest around me before rushing back out of the locker room and down the many, many hallways. 

I rush out into the parking garage and I stop to watch as Grissom and Sara drive past me with their cars' emergency lights on. Once they pass, I run over to Warrick's car and hop into the passenger side. He quickly turns his lights on before pulling out of the parking space. 

Soon before I know it, we’re pulling up on location and I see that almost half our police fleet are here, making relief wash over me as sirens blare all around me. Grissom’s car is just in front of us and I hold on as Warrick takes the turn into the nursery drive. We follow Grissom all the way up the drive and come to a stop next to his car. 

Grissom gets out of his car and I yank my seatbelt off to follow after him. He meets up with the owner at the front of his car just as I come up beside him. 

“You said on the phone you had a fire ant mound. Where is it?” he asks as he and the owner get close to one another. 

“People usually prefer to stay away from it,” the owner comments as he turns and starts to lead us all over to it. We all stop pointing our flashlights at the mound as Grissom stops and looks at it for a moment. 

“All right, look. Fan out. Look for loose soil. Anything that might’ve been dug up recently,” Grissom commands and we all rush off. 

We all fan out like he said, officers all going in different directions. I stick by Warrick as we walk briskly while searching the ground with our lights. Everyone looks for a few minutes, but nothing seems remotely the littlest bit off. 

“Hey! I’m picking up the webcam transmitter!” We hear Catherine yell out and I look at Warrick. 

“She’s got something! Move, move!” An officer yells out and I smile. 

“We found him, B… we really found him,” I excitedly say and Warrick smiles, nodding. 

“Come on, mama. We’re close,” he agrees with a smile as we both pick up and start to jog to where Catherine is. 

Soon we come up behind her and she slows down to look around. We slow down too and help in looking around with our lights. She turns to her left and continues walking until she almost trips over something, making her turn back. 

She turns around and shines her light on what she tripped on, only to find a tube sticking out of the ground. She pauses a moment before turning and walking a little further only to find another tube. Her monitor picks up in its beeping and I look at Warrick as she bends down to the ground. 

She drops her light and the monitor before she starts to dig around frantically with her hands. She finds what seems to be a clear bag of sorts and she rips off her glove, making it fall back to the floor. 

“This is it!! I found it!!” she screams out as she scrambles to pick the bag back up and open it. 

“It’s here! I found it! This is it!” she screams out again as she looks over the remote. 

“Nick!” she shouts into the pipe as everyone else races over to us. 

“Nick… we’re here. We’re all here! Hang on! Nicky!” she shouts into the pipe as officers run over with shovels and Warrick takes one. 

They all start to shovel at the ground and Catherine wraps an arm around me as she holds her flashlight up with the other. We all watch with bated breath as they continue to pull dirt from the earth. 

Nick’s Pov: 

“Nicky!” I think I hear Catherine, but decide it’s just my mind playing tricks on me for the millionth time. 

I feel more and more of the ants biting at me and I groan as my heart starts to pound harder. I close my eyes, but open them when there’s a click sound. It’s then I see Doc Robbins and David looking down at me before he sighs and shakes his head in sorrow. 

“It’s a damn shame they didn’t get to him sooner,” Robbins says as he continues to look down at me. 

“I sure will miss him,” David comments and it’s quiet for a moment. 

“You know, David, I’ve seen fire ant bites in my time, but never anything like this,” Robbins tells David as he lifts my hand to inspect it. 

“Do you think he suffered?” David asks as he cocks his head to the side. 

“Do I think he suffered?” Doc Robbins parrots before pausing. 

“Yes. Definitely,” he finishes and I try to yell, but nothing will come out. 

I close my eyes before opening them again to the sound of laughter. I watch as they still stand over me, laughing. 

“All right, on three,” Robbins says before pausing. 

“Uno…” David starts off. “Dos…” Robbins jumps in. Tres!” They both yell out and all of a sudden Bob Newworth starts to play. 

“All right. Would you care to do the ‘y’ incision?” Robbins asks David and there's an audible shing sound. 

“Well ‘y’ not?” David asks as he takes the meat cleaver that passed over me and all I can do is watch. 

There’s a few audible crack sounds and a lot of slouchy sounds before Doc Robbins is getting out a chainsaw. He puts the chainsaw down before looking back at me. There’s another crack as he rips my ribs from my body only to toss them aside. 

“He won’t be needing this anymore,” he comments as he passes my liver to David. 

“Nice!” he says as he pulls more from my body and my eyebrows knit together in confusion. 

“A lung,” Doc Robbins says as he passes that over me to David as well. 

Then all of a sudden my father stands over me across from Doc Robbins. He clasps his hands and gives a deadpan look.  

“So Doc… how did my son die? Anaphylactic shock?” he asks Doc Robbins, who chuckles. 

“No, no, he didn’t live long enough for that. COD was asphyxiation,” Doc Robbins answers in a very cheerful tone. 

“Oh!” My dad says in almost awe and I just watch on in confusion. 

“When the blood oxygen drops to less than 16% and the CO2 builds up there’s a rapid loss of consciousness. Death within minutes. With no disfiguring physical findings,” Doc Robbins explains in a cheery tone. 

“He’ll look great at the funeral,” my father comments with no hint of sadness in his voice. “Oh. Yes,” Robbins agrees. 

“His mother will appreciate that as well as his wife,��� my father comments again and Robbins gives a small “good” In response. 

Robbins then reaches into my open chest and rips my heart out. He holds it up and it sounds like it’s still beating. 

“Your son had a good heart,” Robbins says before slapping it down into my fathers hand. 

Suddenly my eyes fly open and find I’m still in the box with ants still crawling all over me. I let out the smallest puff of air as I fight the feeling of the ants biting me. I close my eyes again and try to think of something, anything more pleasant. My mind wanders and I see an image of me at a counter holding a little girl:

“I love you Daddy,” she whispers into my ear as she lays her head against my shoulder and I lay mine against hers. My eyes fly open once more and more tears fall as my lip trembles my fight to get out renewed. 

To Be Continued…

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[halfmoth-halfman]

Leaving this blog.

With my mini-series finishing up soon, I've decided to leave this blog as well as my AO3 account once it’s finished. This is not a decision I've made lightly, but circumstances have left this a place where I no longer feel safe.

As of now, I won't be deactivating this blog and will be leaving my fics up for anyone who'd still like to read them. I can't say this decision won't change later, but right now I feel that I've put too much work into this blog to simple delete it.

Below the cut is an explanation of why I'm making this decision, and what has been happening on this blog since the end of last year. It's not required to read or anything to understand the gist of this post; it's simply for my own peace of mind knowing that I spoke up about it. There will be topics that are possibly triggering such as harassment, threats, and racism so please mind the warnings and tags.

The mini-series is queued to finish next week, but there will be no more fic polls or wip wednesdays. I'll still be on here to make sure the queue does its job, and maybe post some stuff from my old drafts as a last bit of fun.

I'll have dms tentatively open for the next two-ish weeks for those who'd like to follow my new account, however I will not be answering anything from empty blogs. After that, asks and dms will be turned off, and I won't be coming back to this blog very often, if at all.

I cannot say thank you enough to the wonderful readers I've had and the amazing people I've met. I don't think I would've ever continued writing without your support and friendship. There's nothing I can do to show my appreciation for all of you.

Maybe we'll see each other again. If not, I hope your inspiration is always flowing, and 2024 treats you kindly.

Mothie 💜

Again, TW: rape/death threats, violent racism, repeated harassment, and mental health.

Back in November, I started getting rude, mean-spirited anons. It wasn't anything I was too bothered with because it didn't happen often and, honestly, my inbox gets flooded for a week or so anytime I post about certain topics. I blocked, deleted, reported and moved on thinking whoever it was would get bored and leave.

However, what started as a few rude anons calling me a bitch or stupid turned into a lot of anons being vile and racist which only worsened over the next few months.

I spoke about it in this post (link) near the end of November. In that post, I mentioned that those were the nicer asks and that was not an exaggeration. I have gotten my fair share of shitty anons as seen here (link) when I had to take a break from my blog because of said anons, but I have never gotten the amount of vitriol that I saw in these asks.

When I turned anon off, I started getting even worse messages from empty blogs that would either be blocked or deactivate within a week. When I turned my askbox off, I started getting hateful DMs. When I turned DMs off, it jumped from Tumblr to my other social medias which I had to private, completely avoid, or outright delete.

I got messages attacking my writing, calling me slurs, threatening to find me and rape or kill me, sending me explicit porn and rape videos while insulting my sexuality, and going into gross detail about how much people I interacted with hated me or how I would never be as good as them. I tried to power through it, pretending everything was fine while I pulled away from this blog, from writing, from friends that I loved and talked to every day. Everything about this blog, the fandoms I enjoyed, the people I talked to, made me so anxious because of these constant messages.

I took several breaks while dealing with this in therapy, repeatedly trying to come back and get comfortable on this blog, but within a few days of coming back the messages would start up again, either here or on any of my social medias I tried to unprivate, and I couldn't deal with it.

Only in the last week or two has it started to slow down and stop on a few of my other socials, which is the only reason I even feel comfortable making this post. However, in regards to this blog and my feelings toward it, the damage is done.

I don't think I can ever truly convey how isolating this has been. So many of these messages were about how I've spoken about my struggles as a black woman in fandom, how much of a burden it puts on the people who interact with me, how inferior I am to them and that I am everything that's wrong with fandom.

I felt scared and anxious to talk to anyone about this, especially people mentioned in those messages, out of fear that this harassment would jump to them. There are friendships that I stepped away from that I will never get back because of that. There are friends that I've felt like I was betraying by never telling them about what was happening because I felt too ashamed about letting this get to me.

I constantly worried that making a post like this would feel like, "Oh, Mothie's whining and trauma-dumping into the void about fandom racism again", that those messages would be right and it would force people to feel like they had to support me. Or worse, that people would agree and it would only make things worse. I've wrestled with so much guilt trying to decide to make this post and figure out what to do to make me trust myself again.

Ultimately, I don't think I was wrong for talking about my issues in fandom, and I don't think anything I've said has warranted this kind of harassment. I don’t know the who’s or why’s behind of this, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never really know. Truthfully, I'm not sure it even matters at this point. In the end, I think moving on from this blog entirely would be the best thing for me right now.

But, man, does it fucking suck.

This was the blog where I felt comfortable enough to start writing again, to start posting my fics. It's the blog where I met so many friends, got the courage to join new communities, found new hobbies, new music, new things to enjoy in life. It feels silly to say about a blog, but this was a place where I felt like I was able to carve out a space for myself. I put so much work into making it my own, and now the only thing I feel about it is anxious.

Hate messages and threats and racism have always been a part of fandom, and the internet as a whole. I’ve known since I started participating in fandom spaces that it was going to and continue to happen. I've known that I had to have a tough skin, especially if I ever spoke up about problems I faced because no one was going to have my back if I didn't have my own. I thought I had learned how to deal with it, and how to make a safe space for myself. But this goes beyond that. I did not deserve this. No one deserves this.

In some ways, it feels like admitting defeat, like I'm weak or hypocritical for not being as strong as I pretended I was and leaving. In other ways, it feels freeing to start over, and I'm choosing to view look at this optimistically even if it bittersweet. I don't want to let this scare me away from writing or from speaking about things that are important to me. All I can do now is say I'm so incredibly sorry to those I've hurt by stepping away or keeping this secret, and make sure I'm able to at least leave this blog on as happy a note as I can have.

[fromkenari]

@alliwantforchristmasislou

I don't talk about my identity a lot because I live in a town in the 2/3rds of the state that is red despite it being a blue state. I'm not accepted, nor is it really safe for me open about it beyond my friends, and the sad thing is I have only one other friend in this town with the same pronouns as me and my friends, all of whom are queer positive and a bunch of whom are queer themselves don't use the correct pronouns for my other friend who uses them or me because well, you know, transphobia but they claim it's because using "they" in a singular sense is just too awkward for them to do that for my one other friend who uses they/them and me. And I could talk about the suicide rate of non-cis kids in this town, but this is a positive post, right? It's why the Trevor Project is so important.

So anyway. Tumblr, Discord, and the internet, in general, have been the only hardline I have to a diverse queer network. I've been on this site since sometime in early 2009, and you know, before that, I was on Livejournal, and before that, I was on fan forums, Yahoo! Groups, and Pro Boards. So I've been around. I've seen it all in real time. And even though I was not into anything to do with Superwholock, I saw all of that, and you know, I have never really been deep in a fandom. Not even when I was on Livejournal. I just have a massive aversion to oversaturation.

So. I've been watching 911 since the pilot. I was hyped for it because of Angela Bassett. I thought, "You're making Angela Bassett a cop and handing her a TV show; what could go wrong?" (That's rhetorical; don't @ me. I know better now.) Anyway. I was hooked from the first episode, and you have to understand when 911 premiered, I was in one of the darkest points of my life. I had finally been declared legally disabled, which I had been working toward for 3 years. So, you know, nobody on Tumblr was talking about this show. By the end of Season 1, a few of us were scratching around at things, but there wasn't much there.

Then, Season 2 happened, and you know, Season 2 was some of my best times in the 911 fandom. I was there when we were deciding on Beddie vs Buddie. I was there when the first Buck/Eddie fic was posted to AO3. I even wrote some back then. It was a completely different energy then. There was an entire Discord server of us who were mortified that "Be Careful What You Wish For" was likely about the part of fandom that wanted Eddie and Shannon to end, but the consensus was, "WTF, we wanted her gone, but not like that!" And then, you know, the people celebrating it got louder and louder, and I was in fandom less and less until I stopped posting about 911 entirely on Tumblr.

Eventually, I made a new blog, this blog, not because of that, but because Tumblr shadowbanned my old blog, and nothing I posted would show up in tags. And you know, I was a big fandom creator and roleplayer, and I had to start all over. But I was still watching 911. I never stopped. I also watch Lone Star, and oh, the stories I could tell about the early days of Lone Star when 911 OG purists were throwing hissy fits that Lone Star content was getting tagged as 911. Seriously, it was a knockdown, drag-out fight to watch. But anyway, you know, I'm watching, and I'm waiting. I'm waiting for Evan Buckley to be confirmed as bisexual as I get my Henren scraps and cry over everything they do to Josh.

Then, the show gets canceled. But OMG, it's Immediately picked up by ABC, so trying to understand how to feel was indescribable. Because Seasons 5 and 6 sucked, they sucked, and I won't be convinced otherwise, and I was despairing because I was going to have to jump ship. And then the show jumped networks. So, I'm figured what do I have to lose?

So, I am still reeling from the Cruise ship disaster and rescue. And I'm going, "Is my show back? It's kind of back, right?" while also going, "And Tommy's back, and he's getting along with everyone. Sure, why not?" And then, you know, Episode 4 happened, and I'm watching it wondering what the hell is going on. Is Tommy going to be a recurring character now? And then you know Buck was an idiot, and you know I thought it was about Eddie, and I was kind of mad because really? The cast and crew get kicked around by their ship's fans, and you're giving them this? Because anyone who tells me watching that episode as it was airing that they thought Buck was doing that for Tommy before the loft scene, I'm calling horseshit because I've been watching since episode 1

I've wanted Bi Buck for as long as I can remember. And it was not until the loft scene that I even realized something was happening. I didn't know what it was, but something was off. And some point, I was standing on the couch freaking out at my TV, going, "WHY ARE THEY STANDING SO CLOSE TOGETHER? WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?" And then, you know, the kiss happened, and thankfully, no one was living next door in my duplex at the time because I was not quiet about my joy, and I sprained my freaking knee. I was so chaotic in my reaction. (I had to go to urgent care. It was a whole thing. Eh, my joints suck because of chronic illness. I told you I was on disability a long time ago, okay.) And you know, once I simmered down, I ran to this blog to post about it because 4 episodes on a new network, and they gave me Bi Buck.

And you know, I tried so hard to find a voice for Tommy in my head, but I couldn't. I didn't have enough material to do it. I appreciated everyone who could do it because I read your fic, which was great. I didn't even get into the fandom for it until Season 8 because I couldn't wrap my head around the ship, but I was going to sit there as long as it took to understand Tommy because it's Bi Buck's canon ship. Of course, I want to be able to write it myself. That's what I do. And right about when Tommy brought Buck avocado toast, I got it. Everything synced up in my head, and I understood it. I could go back and look at things and understand why Tommy did things now.

So, during that break for Halloween, I was writing little things and not posting them. I had already at the start of Season 8 found a Discord server, and I was hanging out in the tag. I was looking through follow lists people posted and zipping through them. And yeah, sue me. I call it Tevan because that's what Tommy calls him. That's not a judgment on anyone; it's just my preference. I forgot to mention that I was also there when shit hit the fan during the Season 7 hiatus and trying to survive in my old 911 Discord Servers, but people were awful for no reason. I'm never gonna understand why a whole swath of fandom hated the ship to the point that they were causing traumatic harm to other people, especially queer men in fandom. That's just so beyond me, and, again, another reason we need the Trevor Project is that queer men fetishists on Tumblr do not constitute a safe community for queer people. But I'm getting off track.

So you know, they broke up Buck and Tommy in the next freaking episode, and I had a lot of feelings. I posted a lot of them here. Some of them conflict because you know the human brain can handle more than one viewpoint. Gray areas are my bread and butter when it comes to media. Anyone gets puritanical about anything; I don't care what you ship; I will remove you from my curated experience because I don't need it. It's not healthy.

I've been writing more and more about this ship since the breakup. I even wrote a fixit for the breakup. And you know what happened in the show compared to what people say in interviews? There's a huge disconnect. In any other situation, especially given it's 911 and the Abby of it all, you would expect this to not be over because that's not how Buck's big love interests work. Most of his relationships end with him being too invested, but you don't get to call it a pivotal relationship for Buck and say it's over cold turkey. That's crappy writing because it completely goes against his characterization.

But I didn't realize how attached many people were to Tommy. I felt like I finally met him in the Halloween episode, and bam, he's gone in the next. So much wasted potential. So much drama. So many harassed actors and crew members. So many "journalists" acting like it's their blog is the gossip section of their high school newspaper, but they get screeners? So much crap happened, and what was it all for? So Buck can pine for Tommy and cause Los Angeles County to go on a flour ration? Like? I don't get it. So yeah. If the show wants to fix this mistake because this one they did leave themselves a contingency plan by not killing the man, they can fix it.

So bring back Tommy. If you do, I'll think about forgiving you for Amir's storyline last season. But we still need to talk about what messages we're sending people in these episodes. Those teenage girls do not deserve to get blamed because a grown man went rage quit to the max. The copaganda is SO HIGH that I can't even watch Athena's scenes now. And there's a bunch more I won't list because we're talking about Tommy and how you need to bring him back. I love these characters, but I'm tired of them repeatedly getting the same trauma and outcomes. You finally let queer people kiss again on your show, and then you get rid of one of them?

Anyway. I'm going to keep writing BuckTommy because I need something good to happen in fandom as I continue to watch this ridiculous show. And if you read this whole thing. I'm sorry that this is how it ends.

[fanganfessions]

vent !! chapter 2 ep 15 spoilers

god and i cant even begin to express how much i hate veronika after this last episode. i was already beginning to have mixed feeling about her after being harassed by a few veronika defenders which only caused for me to not like her more out of spite. but my god the way she kept antagonizing ace seriously broke me. this man expresses how he was offended and all veronika can say is: "Oh, that hit a nerve. Didn't it?" what kind of person says those kinds of things?? thats just so cruel. maybe part of the reason why i hate veronika is because she reminds me so much of my sister. my sister is 10x worse than veronika but i cant but wanna claw my eyes out when i see her. shes a constant reminder that my feelings arent valid and i will never be anything more than something to make fun of. because thats exactly what she does to ace.

just for now im muting all the drdt tags besides any related to ace. i dont wanna see anything about any other character besides him. because it'll just remind me that not even the fandom appreciates ace as much as i do. they all care about everyone else. for fucks sake even hu and arturo are more liked than ace when they have contributed nothing useful besides a tiny bit of lore here and there.

just hearing ichiko aoba humming makes me think of last night where i cried over ace. its so calming but also so traumatizing because just hearing it reminds me of him. honestly i didnt think some jockey would impact me this much but god it hurts like a bitch.

i just want more ace content. seeing people positively talking about ace and making things for him makes me feel loved. when people express how much they love ace and dont want him to die, it makes me feel accepted and cared for. 

speaking of acceptance, i can only say this through an anon because i dont feel safe expressing my thoughts and feelings openly. ive been harassed by too many drdt fans for such petty reasons. i just wanna feel safe and liked in this fandom but i cant because i constantly feel like everyone is judging me and talking shit about me. i dont want that. i want people to like me.

theres probably going to be people suggesting for me to not associate myself with drdt (or atleast any ace markey media) for the sake of my own mental health and like.. take a walk or something. and while i do agree with you 100%, i kinda cant. drdt is my only hyperfixation atm. ive been obsessed with it for over a year now! most hyperfixations last only a year. i dont know how to stop thinking about ace's possible death, especially with episode 16 coming up in a few days. its really not as easy as you guys think it is. im not choosing to feel like this, i promise. (SENDING IN MULTIPLE PARTS BECAUSE IT KEEPS SAYING "We’re sorry. There was an error processing your post. tumblr")

.

[autieofthevalley]

I need to rant about that because i don't know how to feel about it, honestly. So here's the context first :

So i'm on an ateez fandom discord like an actual one (i won't tell the one because it's not really important and i'm not feeling safe enough from them to tell the name BUT i digress) and like okay so there's minors on that discord, minors AND adults, so of course, the speaking about sex with ateez is an absolute no, and i absolutely understand that. I mean, as a literal nsfw blog, i also have rules, and i block any minor/ageless blog that interacts with my content.

There's a few people that sexualise ateez on that discord, which i'm against ONLY because there's minors present. Now, most of the people on that discord + staff are absolutely against "sexualising" ateez in general, not only on Discord.

People on one of the principal chats of the server said things like "gotta stop this we are in 2024" and "they're humans like us, just stop".

Apparently, someone had said of Ateez on the discord, "i want them to run me over" (i get it. It's on a discord with minors, but honestly???) and people are shocked and disgusted (like bffr)

It's because of people so strict like that even outside a discord that we (and i talk about me, my mutuals and the people that follow me), are finding our safe space on Tumblr because it's pretty much the only platform in general (apart from some +18 ateez discord servers) where we can say freely what we want to do. It's almost like they're infantilized at that point with those people, please, they're grown ass men who literally make their concert like a magic mike show, and also the same people who make sexual songs almost every comeback, at least one per album, and who put themselves almost naked sometimes on purpose!! The same people who post parts of their body that they know Atiny ADORE just because of fanservice!! And they definitely know of the smuts and fanfics atp... Bffr!!!

Another thing, those people were talking about the thing with the cameramen during the concert who zooms a few times on the guys crotch, and some of them were saying things like "that's embarrassing" and like "the cameraman should not do that". Someone even said, "Maybe they did the concert like that because of the fanservice, but if they force them to do that, it's a problem." Babes, listen to me, knowing ateez at that point, i'm pretty sure they would have asked seriously the staff and cameraman to stop zooming on them crotches.

People should stop being shocked and sensitive about what others say about Ateez. At least we are not writing very explicit things to them directly. I keep my thoughts safe from them because i'll never know how they'll react, and idk them personally. But like, almost slutshaming people about a group that is literally sex freaks atp (for fanservice mostly i think, but pretty sure they're really horny like most of humans) is not okay at all Just leave us alone, i'm never going to say to the actual group my slut thoughts about them anyway (i would be clinically and mentally more than insane for that and by the way, on that same discord i speak about, the warning note about sexualisation of the members said "Ateez are not objects, and are not to be sexualised" and also a thing who says as a resume that the guys would be shocked and hurt if they learned about being sexualised, bitch please 🙄)

[destinyc1020]

the dog company spilled tea to the sun and the gym spilled tea to daily mail LMAO 😭

🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

I wish people would STOP spilling Tomdaya private info now that they're engaged.

Is it weird that I feel very oddly PROTECTIVE over them during this time period? 🥺 It's the same feeling I got when they got caught making out in the car years ago.

We here in the Tomdaya fandom have basically tried to protect this couple, and keep their romance sacred for years.

I ALMOST kinda miss the days back when everyone thought we were nuts for thinking that they were more than "just friends" 😏, and we all had this little small place here on Tumblr to talk, dissect, and discuss any little tea and crumbs that we would get from this clandestine couple lol. 🤭

But ever since July 1st (or 2nd... depending on how you wish to look at it), that all changed.

The whole PUBLIC then became "aware" of Tomdaya. That was a good thing for us because we were FINALLY validated and not just "crazy shippers" anymore, but at the same time, it was BAD for us, because now, we didn't have Tomdaya in a safe little enclave anymore. 😔

Now, EVERYBODY was weighing in on their relationship, and newbie shippers started coming in (nothing wrong with that), so it just turned into one whole crazy wild huge thing. 🥴

Just overnight!

Now, they're engaged, and I sort of feel like the same thing is happening. Strangers are now spilling tea and not respecting their privacy. Is it attention that they want? I mean, I know Tomdaya is the biggest engagement news so far of 2025, so I get it. But it's just sad because a lot of the newer fans and shippers don't seem to respect TZ's level of privacy that they have fought so hard to maintain like the rest of us OG shippers. 😔

And this isn't an us vs. them post, it's just me sharing my feelings on this.

It would be nice if people wouldn't spill details on every little thing about them, or details about their wedding planning before it even happens.

Maybe they wanted to join a gym ANONYMOUSLY so that people wouldn't be trying to get pics or join the gym/spa just to catch them there?

Idk.... Maybe this is just silly of me to feel this way, and maybe this should have gone under the "Sunday Confessions" day lol 😆 But ooh well..... My thoughts and feelings are out there now! It's something that's been weighing on my mind for a while.

🤷🏾‍♀️

[sekahni]

To All the Fandoms I've Loved Before

Throughout my life, I've regularly participated in fandom—from enjoying art and AMVs/edits to writing fanfiction for Naruto, Supernatural, One Piece, and more. So, it's safe to say that I have a lot of experience watching the highs and lows of different fandoms.

And, trust me, I know the sting of finishing a series and learning that a ship I've loved for years hasn't been made canon. The frustration when a character I love dies. How a story deviated from what I hoped. It sucks! However, I also remember the hysteria too. Happening again and again. The malicious attacks and inappropriate conduct. Over and over.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, here are some examples:

SasuSaku blogs were flooded with threatening messages after Sasuke and Sakura were confirmed to be a couple

Kikyo stans were harassed out of forums, YT comment sections, etc., simply because they might've preferred her character over Kagome's

Genevieve Padalecki and Danneel Ackles endured a barrage of online attacks, bullying, and threats because they married Jared Padalecki (Sam Winchester) and Jensen Ackles (Dean Winchester)

Amanda Abbington, Martin Freeman's ex-wife, faced similar attacks after she was cast as Mary Morstan in BBC's Sherlock—simply because some fans believed she was "getting in the way" of Johnlock

Prior to the Vox Machina animated series, when the campaign was still streaming, many people within the Criticial Role fandom villified Marisha Ray for her relationship with Matthew Mercer, wherein she became the victim of excessive online harassment and bullying

Laura Bailey portrayed Abby Anderson in the Last of Us II, a character who is highly controversial amongst fans. As such, Laura was subjected to mass online harassment and death threats. It was so bad, ign reported that HBO has increased security around Abby's live-action actress, Kaitlyn Dever.

Some Klance and Allurance stans routinely trolled and harassed each other—inciting such extreme inter-fandom conflict online that their "war" spilled into non-ship related content, discouraging others from interacting with the Voltron fandom entirely

Matt Smith faced unfair online criticism at the time of his casting, simply because he was the follow-up act to David Tennant's iconic Tenth Doctor—only for Matt Smith's iteration to be one of the most beloved incarnations ever

The frequent and ongoing racism POC cosplayers face every fucking day—slurs, threats, and more

The Cassandra Clare fandom came for the throats of anyone who had fair and justified criticism of both CC and her work—particularly around copyright infringement

The same thing can be said about the Sarah J. Maas fandom

2010s Tumblr blogs falsely accused John Green of pedophilia because he wrote contemporary romance YA—harassing him for months on Tumblr, and practically driving him off the platform

Marvel fans spread rumors about Brie Larson, accusing her of being an "arrogant racist" because they didn't like her or the MCU's depiction of Carol Danvers

Legend of Korra stans are still targets of misogynistic and racist rhetoric online—both here on Tumblr and on TikTok

The Durarara!! discourse of the 2010s was so fucked up, so vile, people disengaged from the series and the fandom entirely. This affected sales and the second season, which never really gained the traction it deserved because of how insufferable and toxic Durarara!! fans proved to be during the original run of the first season—I mean, people were harassing cosplayers at events! That's how bad it was

I could go on—and on, and on, until this post is nothing but a harrowing list of how people can't seem to behave themselves.

And, these behaviours need to fucking stop.

So, to reiterate what I've said on another post, but targeted towards a wider audience:

Your feelings of disappointment do not give you the right to harass others online

Your feelings of frustration do not give you the right to harass and bully actors, creators, and writers ever—online or otherwise

Your ugly biases will never justify viciously attacking women, POC, queer people, disabled people, and fat people in fandom spaces

You're entitled to feel your feelings and have your opinions. You're allowed to express your disappointment online and within your own community. But don't go around attacking others because of said feelings—this concept really isn't that hard to grasp. And in the same vein, don't incite conflict with fans who are disappointed to gloat about your "victories." Neither of these actions are productive and simply contribute to the growing toxicity in fandom spaces.

The only exception to this, of course, is if you're racist, ableist, fatphobic, homophobic, transphobic, etc. Cause if you're any of those things, you're disgusting and block me right the fuck now. This blog is NOT a safe space for you.

Sincerely,

A jaded fan, sick of the toxicity

[nonnymousehouse]

Della/Launchpad Ship Meta

I feel like people should talk about the things they like more often, especially when it comes to ships. Meta isn't very common anymore and shipping manifestos - essays written by fans talking about why they love the ship that they do - appear to be a dead practice.

I wrote this short mini essay for the Delpad Fan Club here on Tumblr and later posted it on AO3. I may write more in the future. As for other places with Delpad meta, you can check out Kirbtaro's fanblog which contains all of her Delpad meta over the years.

If you disagree, that's okay! All I ask is that you be respectful and read with an open mind. This is fandom, after all. The whole point is to play with possibilities in a fan space!

Simply put, these two have so much to learn from each other and, in many ways, are the only two who can help one another. You can try to put other characters in their place, but it won't work.

One of Launchpad's greatest insecurities is rooted in how he isn't a traditionally taught pilot. A lot of his skills come from learning on the (ahem) fly. Della is traditionally taught and works hard to be the best at everything. The idea that she could fail and fail hard upsets her.

Her greatest source of trauma is when she crashed on the moon - due to her own folly. She may have the practical skills to land a plane, but when pushed into an emergency situation, she didn't know how to handle an emergency crash. To Launchpad, this would be second nature to him.

While the show does have Della teaching him how to land a plane and Launchpad teaching her how to crash properly, I feel like the show didn't really delve into what a big deal this is for both of them. The two of them are healing their deepest sources of trauma through the others' skillsets. It would have been fun to see the two of them acknowledge that.

If Launchpad had taught Della how to safely crash from before, she wouldn't have lost her leg. If Della taught Launchpad how to properly land a plane, it would help him overcome his fears of not being good enough.

Launchpad admires anyone who can get back up from their setbacks and Della Duck is firm in her belief that nothing can stop her! The things that LP loves about the Sunchaser (when he was chatting with Beakley in Last Crash) are the same exact qualities that Scrooge compliments Della on when he sees her leg.

While the show may never directly acknowledge it, the two need each other to become the people they most desire to be - to be their most complete selves. Launchpad is an outsider to the family but desperately wants to be a part of it. Della is a part of the family but, due to her past, feels like an outsider. If these two work together, maybe they can find a solution that makes both of their wishes come true.

And, well, wouldn't that fit the theme of found family? Webby is also an outsider who longs to be part of the McDucks and her reward is to be Scrooge's protege - the successor to his fortune. Launchpad's feelings as an outsider of the McDucks never really changes - his consolation is that he has to find a new family for himself. Which never sat right with me - surely he can have the Mallards and the McDuck/Duck family as his families at the same time? The show outright states that he continues to work for both Scrooge & DW at the same time after Let's Get Dangerous.

If Launchpad were to, say, marry Della, he'd get to be an official member of Scrooge's family, just as he's always wanted. He'd essentially be Scrooge's son-in-law (or, well, nephew in law). Kinda like how being Scrooge's daughter allows Webby to be the "fourth nephew" - which is what Webby has always wanted.

[mostlycorrectdipandpip]

Let's talk about dnptwt

Ok, I created this little shit-posting blog to connect with other phannies and get back into this comfy little fandom. Along with this, I started connecting with dnptwt on my main account. I don't like getting involved in drama, especially when it revolves around blatant racisim, homophobia, transphobia, genocide sympathizers, etc, but I feel like it needs to be said here. I am only going to speak on this once, but if you have questions on my experience or just want to call me out, feel free to message or anonymously inbox me, that is your right as I am posting this openly and publicly.

Dnptwt is NOT a safe place. I genuinely believe that the internet is not a safe place. I wish that it was because access to the internet has become so common and widespread. People can connect on so many levels and share their experiences, but EVERYONE can do it. Republican, democrat, gay, straight, conversative, liberal. EVERYONE. But, over the last few months, dnptwt has become so negative and toxic. Every day someone is being called out for their behavior and, many times, the calling out is warranted. They have said or done something that they need to be called out on. It's the aftermath and the snowballing afterwards that has gotten out of hand.

I am a very positive person. I believe that everyone, at anytime in their lives, can learn and grow and change. We are constantly learning new things and having new experiences. When people say something hateful or negative or they participate in something bad or that you don't agree with, you have every right to call them out on it. Point out the hateful and negative behavior, but just because someone does or says something doesn't mean that they are irredeemable. Spitting hateful rhetoric and being hateful towards people is the exact kind of thing that we want to stop and correct. So when you call someone out for something, call them out and see if they take the initiative to learn or change before you start an unyielding bullying campaign against them. You can choose how you react to that person, if you believe them, and if you want to continue to interact with them. That is your right as a social media user. But to start a campaign where you tell everyone that someone is disgusting and irredeemable before giving them a chance to reflect, relearn, and respond is absolutely crazy.

At the end of the day, what I am trying to say is that in order for people to grow, they need to learn. In order for someone to genuinely apologize, they need to learn what they have done wrong and find it in themselves to change, but this isn't something that someone can do overnight. And it isn't something someone can do while they are being attacked from all sides. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say how they feel and why it makes them feel that way for someone to realize that they have made a mistake.

I'll call myself out for y'all to get what I mean. I grew up in a very conservative household. I grew up in a household that sprayed hateful rhetoric and had terribly homophobic and racist beliefs. It wasn't until someone in middle school called me out for it. It wasn't nice or sugar coated, just a direct interaction. I dealt with some fallout for sure, but over the rest of that year, I took the opportunity to learn and change how I acted, how I talked, and how I spoke to my classmates and I was able to repair alot of burned bridges and become a more well rounded person.

I fear everyday that the hate I used to spread and the negativity I once had will come back to bite me. I would have to answer for those actions, and I would, and I would have to prove to people that I have changed (and I have). But with the kind of environment that dnptwt has become, I would be shunned, shamed, categorized and irredeemable, and tossed to the side without being able to reflect, relearn, and respond.

This environment is unacceptable. And it is something that I will no longer be taking part in. Give people the space to be wrong, to fail, and to make right.

Just getting this out has helped me feel a little bit better, am I am sure that this will end up on dnptwt and I'll get doused in their hate and vitriol, but to stand silent and watch more and more people who just need some time to get educated and learn would have made me feel so bad. I'm taking some time to reflect on my own actions and time spent on twitter, learn about ways that I can better use my time and energy, and will respond again if I feel it necessary, but I think I've said my piece.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

you want c!techno take asks so can i ask for your insight in the take that c!techno was the shitty one in c!bedrock bros because he... i'm not entirely sure what the argument is tbh just the way some people bend over backwards to make c!tommy leaving him alone in a crowd of enemies seem not like a shitty move

I feel like the insistence some people have that you should take a 'side' in the bedrockbros relationship is part of this weirdly prevalent trend now in some fandoms - and especially in dsmp - that every single relationship that goes bad has to have a 'victim' and an 'abuser'.

(Sometimes not in those specific terms, though I've certainly seen enough people call c!Techno abusive towards c!Tommy. But sometimes people just call it like, a good guy and a bad guy. Like they need to put the blame somewhere, and it's usually not with their own guy because their blorbo is perfect (part of a second, also very prevalent trend in fandom these days, where people seem incapable of viewing their favourite character as having any flaws, and thus they jump through hoops to excuse everything they do as perfect or flawless. Very common for a specific flavour of c!Tommy enjoyer indeed.))

The time between the failed Butcher Army execution and Doomsday was literally a low point for c!Techno, he himself talks about this afterward with the Syndicate and stuff. Emotionally and mentally this man was Going Through It (tm). So I don't doubt there are some aspects of the whole bedrockbros post-exile relationship he should have done differently. Though that hardly makes him a bad person, it just means he's imperfect and doing his best and also traumatized and trying to do what he felt was right. I'm very biased in siding with Techno because he's my fav but also because I just actually agree that he's right a lot of the time, kekw. And he genuinely did his best to offer Tommy shelter and make him feel safe while also not pushing any boundaries (and also Tommy straight up refusing to share a bunch of shit. Which is understandable from Tommy's side in context, but since Techno is not a mind reader, I really don't like how some inniters act as if Techno was supposed to act upon information he literally didn't have). While also meanwhile sticking to his morals and trying to ensure the continued safety of himself and his closest friend.

Like, at the end of the day, the bedrockbros relationship post-exile fell apart because it was a relationship of convenience and their goals and wants didn't end up compatible. And that's fine, honestly.

The part where Tommy's behaviour becomes somewhat shitty to me is at the Green Festival itself. Him deciding to switch sides and rejoin L'Manburg is not even the shitty part. It's the sort of thing that, especially in context of who c!Tommy is as a person and what makes him tick, makes sense, and it's the right thing to do for him, even if Techno feels hurt by it (which, see what I mean that characters can do things that hurt others or are maybe less than ideal, but that doesn't make them terrible people?)

The parts of Tommy's behaviour that I find shitty are:

1) Tommy stealing Techno's axe. Like, okay, I've posted about this before, but it will never stop bugging me that Techno gave Tommy the axe of peace specifically as a temporary thing and he wanted it back (the axe was important to Techno and he spent a lot of time on it) and then when Tommy decided to fuck Techno over by switching sides in the middle of a high tension situation (which, again, I don't blame Tommy for switching sides necessarily but doing it in the middle of an encounter with enemy forces threatening Techno was a little dickish of him), Techno asked for it back in a very calm, non-angry manner and Tommy's response was basically "lol, no". Like ??? That's just straight up theft, I don't care how much you like Tommy, that's shitty. That's a shitty thing to do! Even if it did end up giving us the peerpressureduo 'ranboo gifting techno an axe' arc that was peak

2) Tommy not really caring about what happens to Techno after switching sides. This is kinda tied into the thing I said above, about Tommy really picking the most terrible timing to betray Techno. But his general lack of care for Techno's wellbeing there - especially after Techno just promised to fight an angry mob for him - where Tommy does not at least try to dissuade them from killing Techno, or bothers to express any concern that Techno can make it out alive, also bugs me. Like, I know Tommy had a lot on his mind but him not seeming to care much if Techno is ganged up on and murdered, right after taking one of Techno's weapons AND after basically getting all his armour and shelter and potions and food from Techno, just feels like a major dick move.

I don't know what specifically the inniters are saying Techno did wrong at the Green Festival so if you know, feel free to enlighten me and I'll reply (though I'm assuming a lot of it is bollocks anyway. It's mainly some variant of 'Techno was mean to Tommy by not completely forsaking his own moral compass and agreeing with everything Tommy did ever, and also for having emotions :(')

[the-anon-scp-confessions]

INTRODUCTION - Welcome!

Welcome to the SCP Anon Confessions blog. Where you anonymity matters! Annoyed about a character? Like-like a character? Have a head canon that you're admittedly too shy to post on your on blog? Well this is the blog for you! Send a confession in! But first: read over the rules before doing so.

RULES

Do NOT harass anyone, whether it's replying to the posts, sending anon hate or messages. I will not stand for it. If you have an issue with someone: block, directly make contact and speak to them in private, or ignore each other. I will not be a messenger bird for drama. 💥 If you want to show evidence about something, feel free to PM me the images/chat logs! Everything will still be kept anonymous. Unless you send death threats to me, gore, or something of that nature: I will call you out on it (unless you're a minor). (Note: If you're concerned about a user in the replies please curate your own experience by blocking them. I only block others if they attack me directly or outed and proven to be not a good person, re: a pedo, zoo, Nazi, etc.).

Avoid mentioning anyone by name, especially if they are a minor. This about the characters, canons, timelines, and similar aspects. Not to the people behind the screen. (Yes, you may post about your kin-memories, or struggles as a fictive so long as it doesn't involve the fandom based/related drama. This also not a source call blog as we personally don't believe in source calls or source dating).

No threatening people. This includes things such as: “I want to kill all Clef fans”. Or, "I think (USER) should rot in jail" And similar based comments. Threatening the characters themselves may be a case by cases basis.

What I share does not truly represent my opinions. This is just an inbox for anonymous confessions. For most asks, I will reply with a "." unless I believe it needs further explanation, or if I feel it warrants me talking.

Keep all confessions SAFE FOR WORK. I will not accept confessions that are in relation to sexual content. While I cannot stop anyone from doing this just note that I will not share them and delete them.

All asks will be anonymous even if you haven't toggled anon on. How? All non-anon comments will turn into separate posts* unless it involves media then I may just send it as is if you're 100% okay with that.

Questions:

"Are you 'Luigi' from the last anon blog?" - Luigi made this account and has access to it. I, Snippet, am a different person who just runs it.

"When does this blog update?" - I log on this account on the Sunday/Monday typically (or sometimes throughout the week) then I put everyone on queue on a 'five times a day' setting. Then rinse and repeat. This means I will not see any anons or messages regarding anything till said days. I do have a life outside the interne.

"Can we submit posts about Doctor Bright? Or confessions about Shaw, or other rewrites?" - YES! So long as it relates to the character and NOT in relation to AdminBright/TheDuckMan, your confession will be deleted if it references them. This blog does not approve of the AB or their horrid actions. Again, keep drama out. Confessions based on Elias Shaw and Rewrites are also allowed so long as you are not harassing the rewrite itself, its creator(s), etc. To me, they all exist, multiple canons/timelines, and what not. They'll be tagged accordingly.

"How many asks can I send at once?" - Multiple, I don't care. Spam the blog!

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja, I definitely feel the same way everything is different in this fandom, there was a time when it was fun talking about Chris or even gossip about him or his projects but now it's crazy, people attacking and insulting each other, critizing with hatred it's just awful. But I must admit what bothers me the most is how Chris has changed and not in a good way and it's not because he's married Alba whether people believe it's real or not, it feels like the person he showed over the years was fake and never really existed, he stopped being that man who seemed so down to earth, to care about important issues, now he's like every man in Hollywood so frivolous and apathetic, anyways I wanna say thank you for always being respectful.

It is awful, and it is sad to see that some people can't even express their opinions because others will immediately attack them. None of us knows for sure what goes behind the scenes, and those who say they do (if they don't have any evidence) are, in my opinion, lying about it. I think we all should be capable of having normal conversations about this situation, even if we don't see eye to eye. I think some people take this whole thing way too "seriously," but we have to acknowledge that, after all, the nature of their relationship doesn't have that huge an effect on our lives. Would it be a bummer if they were truly married? Considering Alba and her friends' behavior, yes, it would be. But it won't be the end of the world. We all have very real lives outside of this, and I know a lot of people really loved and respected him, and he was a safe place for a lot of us, but whatever this whole thing turns out to be, life goes on and we have to accept it.

I get what you say, and it definitely feels like there was a huge shift. He isn't that active anymore; he doesn't tweet or post on Instagram, he doesn't really interact with fans, and he doesn't seem to really care about ASP anymore, at least not on the level he used to. However, I kind of get him. While getting involved and getting "together" with Alba was a decision he made, I think we can be all honest here and say that some people take this whole thing too far. I don't like her, and I don't like the whole situation, but I think that what some people do is way too much. I get if people are disappointed; I get if they want to call them out; however, there is a place and a way to do that. Commenting under Jinx's posts or the shelter video is not the place, and calling him a pedofile and a nazi or bullying him because of his appearance is not the way it should be done. If he participates in an ASP video, he is a hypocrite; if he doesn't, he is performative. In a word, for some people, no matter what he does, he is the bad guy. So we can all understand, on some level, that he probably thinks that doing nothing is the best strategy now.

I still don't think that the past decades were a lie. I think it would be impossible for someone to play a role for 20+ years and 24/7. I hope one day we will see the old Chris again.