#your everyday estj

[youreverydayestj]

ESTJ Hate: A Rant From an ESTJ’s Perspective

TLDR: ESTJs are not jerks, narcissists, or arrogant assholes. ANY type can be like that, so knock it off and stop bullying them.

As the title says, this blog/ article is going to be a rant about the type community and their attitude toward ESTJs.

And this hate can be applied to other types, like my fellow ESFJs and any sensor in the community.

But today we’ll focus on the most hated MBTI type: ESTJs (aka my type).

Disclaimer 

I sincerely hope that you’ll read this article with an open mind and please try to understand where I’m coming from despite the… heated tone this article has. 😅 

I get it if you think I’m mistyped, but I’m not gonna prove my type to you. Take it or leave it. (It's not this article's point anyway).

If I’m wrong about my type, then so be it.

But I hope that this article will take the heat off of ESTJs, because whether I’m one or not – they don’t deserve the hate and bullying. (Nobody does).

So if you hate ESTJs so much that you’re just going to barrage me with hate comments, or if you’re not open to learning more about them, then feel free to skip this article (and this whole blog).

But if you *are* open, then proceed unto the forbidden scrolls of wisdom. 📜 *magical gate opening noises*

Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

If you’ve been into MBTI for any amount of time, you know that everyone hates ESTJs. Like… a lot.

(Fun fact: We’re the #1 most hated type in the community 🥳🙌)

And it’s not hard to see why.

Because, according to the infallable internet, we ESTJs are:

Tradition-oriented/ anti-progression

Bullies, jackasses, and know-it-alls who refuse to admit we’re wrong

anti-INFP (according to a YouTube video thumbnail lmao)

Control freaks and micromanagers

Extremely insecure and obsessed with social status

Unrealistic perfectionists whose lives revolve around work, recognition, and climbing up the ladder

Narcissists and insecure as hell

The enemy and ultimate roadblock to change

Stuck in our ways

Mean, cruel, heartless, hot-tempered

Smacking everyone on the head with a rulebook

Anti-individuality

Obsessed with getting recognition

Stepping on everyone’s toes to get their way no matter what

Stubborn for no reason

Always angry, pissed, and yelling at everyone for no reason

Desperate to be in charge, power-hungry assholes who shouldn’t be in charge

Terrible with people and hated by everyone who has to work with us

Bossy control freaks

The list goes on and on, and so does the endless hate.

*sighs and slides down wall*

If I had a penny for every time someone changed their mind about me as a person after doing a type reveal, I’d be set for the rest of my miserable life. *faint kazoo goes off in the background*

Then again, I can see why people would hate us with these extreme descriptions… even though it’s stupid.

ESTJs have a double whammy in MBTI: We’re both Te users, and SJs.

Let’s face it: Most people wanna be a Ti user, or at least that’s what I’ve seen.

Apparently, Ti means you have a brain and can think for yourself, while Te... is just bossy or domineering.

But, of course, ENTJs and INTJs don’t get any hate because they have Ni, which is supposedly future-oriented and not stuck in tradition. *cough cough, Si can be like this too*

SJs, who have high Si, are stereotyped as… well… traditional.

Si is described as *super* boring at best, and sounds like they don’t have anything interesting going on in their lives.

Apparently, if you’re an SJ, you’re alllll about upholding traditions and that’s it.

Not only do we not change the world, we keep change from happening.

We’re stabilizers, and incapable of having fun, or having deep conversations with people cuz we’re not intuitives.

That’s a giant pile of stereotype-infused crap, by the way. ^

Si is NOT about tradition.

If you wanna understand what Si *actually* is, then watch the following video, and/or read the blog I’m linking below.

Introverted Sensing with Your Chill ISFJ featured on Joyce Meng’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s

Exploring Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/

(I’ll link these at the bottom of this blog too, so feel free to check these out later).

So now begins the rant. Enjoy. *deeply inhales like Leorio*

TLDR: ESTJs can be nice, empathetic, open-minded people. We are NOT pissed off Karens who wanna dictate your life.

ANY type can be a control freak, angry, pissed off, controlling, etc.

If you’re typing someone as an ESTJ because of stereotypes and that list of ESTJ traits the internet came up with, you’re typing people wrong.

Stereotypes are fun for a while, but they get old quick – like your favorite food. Or memes.

Instead, if you wanna learn more about MBTI and typology, you need to learn the cognitive functions and learn the nuances.

(Spoiler alert: There are *lots* of them. This isn’t 16 personalities or dichotomies).

Stereotypes are great for starting out and building a foundation.

But you need to go further if you wanna understand type and people (or yourself, if you’re as self-absorbed as I am).

And honestly? It’s way more interesting that way. :P

If you wanna understand Extraverted Thinking in INTJs, ENTJs, ISTJs, and ESTJs, read these two articles.

My favorite article: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

The Dual Nature of Te: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/

If you’re struggling to find your type, then these could help. Keep an open mind about it, since Te is HEAVILY misunderstood.

Either way, you’ll learn something new and you won’t regret it. :) 

So while we’re here, let’s talk about some ESTJ stereotypes and bust them.

Feel free to grab some Ruffles while you’re at it, cuz this is gonna be a long one.

Why are ESTJs so mean?

We’re not. Or at least not on purpose.

Everyone has a different idea of what being nice and being mean are. But if we’re talking extremes, I’m gonna assume you’re imagining us screaming our heads off and making you cry at work.

In that case, that’s not an ESTJ.  Anyone can be mean, including feelers. Anyone can lose their temper and lash out.

That’s something outside of type.

If you wanna figure out someone’s MBTI type, you need to find out *why* they’re doing what they’re doing. I cannot stress enough that MBTI is about the WHY and HOW, **NOT** the “what.”

Are they frustrated because they were thwarted and missed a deadline?

Were they having an off day? (Happens to everyone)

Are they healthy or unhealthy?

Are they secure or insecure? What are they insecure or worried about, WHY, and HOW are they dealing with it?

How do they see themselves? What’s their biggest problem and why?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

You need to ask yourself (and them, if you can) questions like those ^ if you wanna type someone so you can get a well-rounded view of them.

In other words: If you wanna get better at finding people’s MBTI type or your own, you need a well-rounded view of them.

And even then, you may not get it right even if you’ve spent a long time observing this person or talking to them. Frustrating, I know.

Typing people is hard because people are complicated and nuanced. I’ll probably write an article about typing people and all that jazz later on.

Anyway, this is turning into a ramble.

The point is: Being a jerk does NOT make someone an ESTJ. And being nice doesn’t mean they can’t be one.

Being a narcissistic, controlling, arrogant know-it-all doesn’t make anyone an xSTJ. Period.

2. Why are ESTJs hated?

Simple: Stereotypes. ESTJs are often described in the worst light humanly possible while other types get a pass or praise for doing the same things we do. *end credits start rolling*

All jokes aside, most people don’t understand what high Te and high Si look like in real life.

They just assume that Te doms are bossy workaholics who love making people cry, and that SJs are stuck in their ways and refuse to change. (This is incorrect).

Combine the two, and you get STJs: the types no one wants to be. (Spoiler alert: NTJs and STJs are FAR more similar than you think).

Sure, every stereotype may have some truth to it, but ESTJs get FAR more hate than any type I’ve seen.

Spend a day on type databases, discord groups, etc. and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

“ESTJs are bossy, mean, controlling, traditional, and stuck in the past. They have no lives or meaning outside of work as a manager, and they hate INFPs. They’re efficient, but that’s the only good thing about them.”

Every blog ever

*rolls eyes* ^ This is just… *sighs*

It’s genuinely ridiculous how much hate an ESTJ gets compared to their glorified intuitive counterpart.

One letter makes a world of a difference. (People do be simping for ENTJs 😩💦). And no, I'm not jealous.

Don’t get me wrong – There are plenty of solid blogs about us out there.

Unfortunately, most people don’t find them or read them, since first impressions mean *a lot.*

Like the list way up there said, ESTJs are described in the worst light possible.

We have way more cons than pros, and the pros we *do* have make us look like workaholics, or at the very best, as managers with no lives or hobbies outside of work. -_-

Don’t get me wrong – we can absolutely become workaholics. I, myself, find most of my fulfillment in work. (Yeah, I’m not helping my case, am I? 😐)

But guess what? ANYONE can become a workaholic. ANYONE can be mean. ANYONE can be a nightmare boss or co-worker to work with.

Instead of assuming that every mean person is an ESTJ, try to figure out WHY they’re that way… or if they even think they’re that way.

Thinkers tend to be direct… assuming they’re not struggling with trauma, low self-esteem, etc. (Which any type can, including ESTJs).

No, I'm not excusing asshole behavior. I'm trying to say that thinkers generally don't see their direct nature as a problem.

But chances are, if you were honest about how they were, they'll stop. Or at least the healthy ones will adapt.

I’d offer another list of scenarios, but that’ll turn into a ramble. And I think you get the idea. 🙃

Side tangent aside, believe it or not: We have lives outside of work, and not every single one of us are career-oriented people or workaholics. :wow:

Lazy ESTJs exist. But chances are, they’re probably mistyped as a different type, since Te doms aren’t described in a realistic light.

And even when they are, they’re pigeon-holed as workaholics. (Which is stereotypical thinking at best).

And even if we were: There’s nothing wrong with that. If you like work, regardless of your MBTI type, go work.

Don’t let anyone bully or pressure you into doing or not doing something.

3. Why are ESTJs so judgmental?

Because we’re human. *flips hair*

Everyone judges everything regardless of their type, whether you like it or not.

I guess the question here is: Why are we so loud and obnoxiously vocal about it? Well, we may not be.

Being vocal about something means you need to be confident in it. That confidence may be true confidence, or just arrogance to mask insecurity.

And believe it or not – ESTJs can go either way.

In other words, this is NOT a type thing! Everyone judges everything, since we all have two judging functions.

And even then, despite being Te doms, we may not choose to share or vocalize our opinions on things if we struggle with low self-esteem, self-doubt, or anxiety.

We can often shut down and choose a passive or cooperative way of doing things.

It just depends on our mood, how confident we're feeling, etc. Te can be used in a supportive way.

It’s almost like we’re humans, and not a stereotype that can only default to one reaction towards insecurity...

Finally, we’re “judgmental” because the internet just wants to paint us in a bad light whenever possible and lift INFPs up. And it pisses me off. (No, I don't hate INFPs).

When an INFP chooses to stand up for what they believe in, they’re praised and glorified as an underdog who’s trying to change the world.

But when an ESTJ does the same or similar thing, they’re shat on for being stubborn, arrogant, angry, and narrow-minded know-it-alls who can’t stand change.

Do you see the HYPOCRISY there?

And no – I don’t hate INFPs. In fact, I have INFP friends I like spending time with. (Yeah. Believe it or not, ESTJs and INFPs **can** get along. It’s about MATURITY, common interests, etc. NOT TYPE).

Why are ESTJs obsessed with social status, looking good, and protecting their reputation?

Because we’re human, and that’s what EVERYONE does to an extent.

I don’t care what your type is. Everyone cares about how they’re seen to some extent.

Sure, you got some apathetic people who have given up on life and decided to F it, but everyone has insecurities and everyone either cares or used to care.

Welcome to being human.

As for being obsessed with social status and image, this could happen for a variety of reasons, but the biggest one is that they're insecure. (Duh).

The important thing to consider here is WHAT they’re insecure about and WHY they’re insecure.

Sure, a Te dom can be obsessed with status and image, but guess what? So can FPs and Ti/Fe users.

However, I will acknowledge that this particular insecurity with how you’re seen and status tends to point to an imbalance between your introverted judging (Ji) and extraverted judging (Je) function.

In other words, you’re more likely to be an EJ or IP if you struggled with this your whole life.

Again, the key words here are “more likely.” Any type can be insecure and image-focused.

Nutshell: An insecure ESTJ can become obsessed with how other people see them, but insecurity and obsessing over how people see you is NOT an ESTJ thing. Any type can do this.

Are ESTJs narcissists?

No. They can be, but being a narcissist isn’t the same as being an ESTJ.

ANY type can be stubborn, gaslight, refuse to change their mind, and display narcissistic behaviors.

Any type can:

Be arrogant

Gaslight

think they’re always right

Manipulate people

beobsessed with their image

Be cruel, humiliate people, become abusive

Be a pain to be around/ toxic

Etc.

ANY. TYPE.

And no – narcissism is not more common in ESTJs. Every type has an equal shot of becoming this way.

If you’re using the ESTJ label, or any MBTI type to justify or explain your or someone else’s toxic behavior, then you need to look somewhere else because being a toxic and difficult person has NOTHING to do with your actual type.

HOW and WHY you do what you do can point to your type. Not the behavior itself.

So slapping a label onto someone who’s like that and calling them an ESTJ is lazy vibe typing at the very best.

So what should you do in that situation? I don’t know. (Yeah, real helpful, I know).

But calling them an ESTJ and shitting on them isn’t going to help you *or* them.

People get stressed out, lash out, and snap. It’s part of being human.

But if they’re a narcissist, and you want advice on how to deal with narcissists, you’ll have to look somewhere else.

Why are ESTJs so bossy?

It depends on how you define ‘bossy.’

Like I mentioned earlier, every neutral trait an ESTJ may have immediately gets put in the worst possible light, and it’s stupid. (Yeah, I’m a little worked up and frustrated at this).

Sure, narcissistic, know-it-all ESTJs exist, but guess what?

ANY TYPE can be narcissistic, arrogant, and a know-it-all who refuses to consider alternative options.

Here’s a possible answer though: Te users tend to sound FAR more set in stone than we actually are.

Therefore, we can *sound* bossy even though we don't mean to.

Chances are, we’re open to feedback and we WILL change our minds if you give us a good reason.

Tertiary Ne *does* make us more open to sudden changes than our IJ counterparts. 🙃

Hell, we’ll gladly put you in charge if we think you know what you’re doing.

(Which is honestly not that hard. I’ve changed my mind about a lot of things, and I like using my Te to SUPPORT people and systems, not necessarily lead).

Why are ESTJs so insensitive and disrespectful?

We’re not. Or at least we don’t mean to be.

Again, it depends on what you consider insensitive, disrespectful, mean, etc.

Cuz here’s the thing: Most ESTJs don’t see themselves that way because they think they’re just saying it as it is.

Unless they had a traumatic past, struggle with low self-esteem, or something that made them soften their Te (which is pretty common) – they’re probably just being direct.

But I can promise you this: A HEALTHY ESTJ WILL change when you give them feedback.

Unhealthy ones may get stuck up, but being stubborn, arrogant, or defiant against feedback are NOT signs you or the person you can’t stand is an ESTJ.

ESTJs have inferior Fi, which can make them incredibly empathetic if they’ve experienced what you did.

People don’t often realize it, but inferior Fi (assuming we haven’t suppressed it) influences us WAY more than most people realize. (And it’s not surprising, since we never talk about it lol).

An ESTJ with decently developed Fi, or someone who was raised to be empathetic, sympathetic, nice, etc. will NOT look like the description. (That’s a good thing, by the way).

I suspect that many conflict-avoidant or even people-pleasing ESTJs get mistyped as other types because of this, including me.

I mistyped as every type except ESTP and INFJ before finding my type because I couldn’t relate to the description at all.

But this article, along with other minor things, changed my mind on possibly being a high Te user: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/ 

Why do ESTJs think they know everything, make you feel stupid, and crap?

I’ll admit that Te can sound a lot more certain and set in stone than it actually is, so this has a little credit to it.

But, in a nutshell, condescending behavior is NOT a sign that someone is an ESTJ.

This know-it-all, condescending, narcissistic image that everyone has of us makes me roll my eyes and it gets tiring.

We’ll probably barrage you with questions if what you’re saying doesn’t match up with what we think or know is true.

But guess what? Every type can do this. It’s called thinking for yourself, which is a good thing.

I’ll admit we can sound arrogant to certain types, and it can feel like we’re insisting we’re right, but we’re just trying to see if you know what you’re talking about.

After all – Te *is* about competence and authority.

TLDR: Any type can do this. It’s not an ESTJ thing.

Why are ESTJs so angry, have a hot temper, and get mad so easily?

I can’t speak for every ESTJ, but I usually get this way when someone gets in my way. If I want something, I (usually) go get it.

So when someone or something thwarts me, it pisses me off.

And if you’re being honest with yourself, you could probably relate to that to *some* extent.

In other words: Having a short temper is NOT an ESTJ thing.

It depends on WHY you or the person you hate has a short temper.

But honestly?

When I am thwarted, my pissed off-ness comes off as frustration most of the time, not necessarily fire-breathing rage. (And even if it did, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that :P)

Why do ESTJs never change their mind?

Another wonderful stereotype. *rolls eyes*

We can get stubborn about getting something done a certain way because people don’t do it up to a standard. This is generally a GOOD thing.

Standards exist for a reason. Standards create consistency, AND THIS IS A GOOD THING.

Especially in fields where safety is critical, like construction, engineering, or any field that involves maintaining consistency.

We can also get stubborn about our opinions and think we’re right… but so can any type.

I find it funny how ESTJs get shat on for not changing our minds while other types (like INFPs) get praised for having a backbone.

The hypocrisy is stupid at best and makes me wanna roll my eyes at people who think of ESTJs as the devil and INFPs as these wonderful angelic creatures who we torment for fun at work.

On a serious note, healthy ESTJs are open to possibilities and change because of tertiary Ne.

We got a playful contemplative side that can make us mistype as NFPs or any other type.

If you don’t see that side in us, it’s probably because we’re not in the mood, you don’t know us well enough, or cuz we don’t like you.

And ESTJs will absolutely change their mind if they find your reasoning is better, or your process is more efficient.

Funny how people say we’re stubborn and refuse to change our minds while accusing us of being mindless sheep who follow the crowd… *insert gigantic eye roll and facepalm*

Bonus question: Why do people hate ESTJs so much?

Because it’s the internet, and the internet loves pity parties and shitting on a type together.

Stereotyping ESTJs into these angry, narcissistic, arrogant know-it-alls is much easier (and meme-able) than understanding Te, Si, and all that jazz.

And if I’m being honest, I used to care. And if I’m being *really* honest, I still do care.

That’s why I’m writing this stupid article so I can hope that at least *one* person can change their minds about us, or at least consider it.

Anyway, that’ll be all for this article. I know it was super repetitive, but I wanted to be thorough and make a point.

(Point is: Stop bullying ESTJs).

Now, if you have any questions or comments, comment down below or shoot me a dm here on Tumblr!

I’m mostly running this blog for fun to throw my thoughts out, so I won't be super active. I'll throw out more articles and blogs in the future if I'm feelin' it :P

Referenced Articles You Should Check Out:

If you wanna learn more about Extraverted Thinking, read this: https://practicaltyping.com/2021/12/06/6-te-stereotypes/

Why Te users can be nice in the right context: https://practicaltyping.com/2020/12/07/the-dual-nature-of-te/ 

Video featuring Your Chill ISFJ onJoyce Meng’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V5NYzCPjh0&t=347s 

Si from Practical Typing: https://practicaltyping.com/2022/10/20/exploring-introverted-sensing-si/ 

[lryghe]

MDZS thoughts; jiang cheng's mbti

I’ve been thinking about MBTI in the MDZS community recently, and even posted an analysis of Jiang Cheng on PDB, but I’ve decided I wanted to post something here as well. Spoilers are included in this post by the way, though that’s a given. In terms of the general consensus on PDB, Jiang Cheng is an ESTJ, but I wanted to argue for ISTJ based off the placement of his Ne. This post will dive into cognitive functions as well as the placement of them, which means if anyone is basing their argument on rudimentary MBTI analysis (I’m talking ‘Oh I’m extroverted, and I have feelings so I’m obviously an ENFP’) expect to be flamed.  

In relation to cognitive functions, ESTJs (obviously) aren't that different from ISTJs, but none of the posts I’ve seen on PDB have a good reasoning for the specific placements of Jiang Cheng’s Ne. Placing Ne as his inferior function makes a lot more sense than Ne tertiary when one considers the Jiang’s motto, ‘attempt the impossible’. It appears to be a bit of a sore spot for Jiang Cheng, because he always felt his father had favoured Wei Wuxian more, bearing in mind that Wei Wuxian has the extraordinary ability to think outside the box quite a bit more than Jiang Cheng himself could. Wei Wuxian himself is an ENTP, placing Ne as his dominant function, and although Jiang Cheng probably can think of impossible solutions to things, it’s problematic that he can never show it in the way that counts (read; in a way that impresses his father). This itself fits an Ne inferior compared to an Ne tertiary function, because tertiary’s act as a counterbalance to your auxiliary function but placing Ne as an inferior endorses his use of it, while also allowing one to recognise that his use of Ne is very rare and affects his basic fears and insecurities, which is very common for inferior functions (for example, not being able to live up to his name like his brother can, despite the fact Wei Wuxian is not a Jiang). Tertiary Ne would make him a lot more outgoing and experimental, but placing it in his inferior function makes it known that he has it, it’s just exhausting and difficult to use.   

To argue for ISTJ will also mean that you have to switch Fi from an Fi inferior to an Fi tertiary, but this is a pretty easy switch. A key component of having Fi inferior (which would be ExTJ) is that an unhealthy use of it will result in the user getting so lost in their own ambitions or goals that they’ll lose their sense of self or end up going against their own moral code. And I think this is something that maybe would have suited a younger Jiang Cheng, because everyone before the time skip was insecure and at odds with their growing and changing selves (something that’s really common throughout your teenage years anyway), but it doesn't fit older Jiang Cheng, who has been sculpted by decades of grief and the loss of everyone he cares about. He is confident and composed the majority of the time (I do not want to hear anyone bringing The Untamed Jiang Cheng into this because he doesn’t count, novel Jiang Cheng is a cold-hearted bitch), and never loses sight of himself. He’s Sect Leader Jiang and Sandu Shengshou, and he holds himself to a rather strict moral code. His morals also happen to perfectly align themselves with whatever's good for the sect, because Jiang Cheng has shown time and time again to push aside whatever is good for others to protect Yunmeng Jiang. He stands strong and would never compromise what he believes in, which is the sect he built from the ground up again. An unhealthy use of Fi tertiary (ISxJ) would look something like being so staunch and unyielding in one's moral codes that they don’t care about how other people view them and they don’t care about how other people may have different opinions, because they are so assured in their own ideology. Jiang Cheng is exactly this type of person, because he’s so stuck in his own views of everything that happened, that he regularly fails to consider other points of view, which is part of the inherent tragedy that has stained him and Wei Wuxian’s relationship ever since they were kids.

I like to think Jiang Cheng is one of the more well-adjusted MDZS characters, because the whole golden core reveal at the end of the novel/donghua was a huge shock and reverted what appeared to be around a decade of healing and moving on, so like, go Jiang Cheng! I see no point arguing to replace his dominant function from Te to Si considering your dominant and auxiliary function work in tandem anyways, and as a finishing note, I don’t know why I bother posting on PDB, because half the people on there do brainless and stereotypical voting of literally everyone, that is so rudimentary it makes me ill. I’ve genuinely seen people vote INFP for Jiang Cheng or ENFP for Wei Wuxian and I just. It’s so stupid. 

Word count: 866

Reading time: 3 mins

[typing-mbti]

About MBTI romantic compatibility

In this post I want to talk about my personal thoughts based on what I observe about MBTI romantic compatibility or romantic compatibility in general.

Because remember, MBTI isn't enough when looking for a partner; there can be:

Very different people of the same type

Similar people of very different types

It also depends on what similitarities and differences mean for you.

MBTI: COMPATIBLE, SIMILIAR, DIFFERENT

Think at colors: there are colours which matches armonically to you but maybe you still preferer a "very similar" colour that accompany you or "very different" one that make you natural color stands up

1) COMPATIBLE if you look for an armonical balance between your differences (dichotomies) and similarities (same primary function but inverted and same process thoughts of the other two functions)

E/I + P/J difference or also F/T or N/S depending on what is the primary function (change the other). F/T or N/S lead to apparently more differences but deeply same way to process some thoughts (exactly same middle cognitive functions)

Example: INTJ x ENFP or ENTP

Example: ISFP x ESFJ or ENFJ

2) SIMILIAR: same type or similiar in many things (but not having the same primary function and thinking process can still lead to a not so small difference): you prefer having more similitarities with your partner (e.g. both introverted)

Change just a letter (be conscious that usually the S/N difference alone could still lead to a strong difference)

Example: INTJ x INTJ or ENTJ or INFJ or INTP (or also ISTJ)

ABOUT changing only the last 2 dichotomies: it will lead to a more complex mix between similarities and differences, usually it can be great at times but can also lead to many misunderstandings, for this reason I see more friendships than romantic partners on these.

Example: INTJ x INFP

Example: ESTP x ESFJ

3) DIFFERENT: very different type or opposite type: you feel safe with a companion that can do the things you can't do.

Example: INTJ x ESFP, ESTP, ESTJ, ISFJ,...

Is it immature?

If all you look for is just a personality type yes, but if you consider many things among which a specifically personality type... no. People choose their partner based on physical appearance, interests, sympathy, familiarity, style of life... and choosing based on the way a person perceive and process reality that affect every part of their daily life is nothing but deep.

"BUT if you both are willing to make it work..."

I will be honest here on my opinion. We are not talking about getting along with colleagues or in family or something forced, but with romantic relationships. It's so natural to look for a "compatible" friendship, why not with romance? Friends can be many while a romantic partner is hopefully just one and for every day of our life; and every relationship is already difficult by itself without us making it more complicated. We will live and share everything with our partner, make decisions with them, see and talk to them everyday: for this reason I personally don't see why we can't be selective.

So... is MBTI compatibility important? Depends

My personal opinion is that compatibility in general is very important, but not each couple needs MBTI compatibility to work well.

Your perfect match depends on who you are and what you look for in a partner.

-> Some thoughts to consider for wishing to have MBTI compatibility or not:

If your MBTI type is a huge part of who you are and your mental process - choose YES

Passions, interests, character and other things have a huge impact of who or your partner are more than MBTI - choose NO

You are selective and look for deep understanding of who you are to feel completely gotten - choose YES

You get along easily with others and feeling get is not your primary need (or not by a partner), you enjoy and look for other things - choose NO

Your process thoughts deeply, analyse others and observe a lot - choose YES

You are in tune with the ambience more than focusing too deeply on the others, you are more practical and a doer - choose NO

IMPORTANT CONSIDERATIONS

Your answer can be different of the one of your partner. For example an INFJ chooses her ENFP for MBTI compatibility because she wants to have long conversations and feel mentally connected with him while ENFP chooses her for the way she treats him and prefers spending time doing some hobbies together. So their relationship's will won't match.

If you wish for MBTI compatibility:

I will repeat it another time: MBTI isn't enough! There are always other things that defines us as values, humour, interests, style of life, mentality. So your life partner will be one of the personalities you get along with: not all will work perfectly with you!

MBTI isn't a guarantee! There is no perfect balance and every couple needs work.

If you wish for other kind of compatibilities:

Still be conscious about your personalities! Sometimes feelings cover our differences and you are ok with how are some things now but maybe in the future you or your partner will look for other things.

Be aware! Not thinking about it doesn't remove their type and your similarities/differences, the best is knowing your MBTI types and still be sure it's the best for you! MBTI knowledge in any case could always help in your journey.

Some example of couples I know:

MBTI compatible couples:

ISFP x ENFJ: natural match and they also share the same way to see life - worked

ESFP x ISFJ: compatible but the mental disorders of one destroyed their relationships and also their interests didn't match - didn't work

Not MBTI compatible couples:

INFP x ISTJ: they have the same values of family and both looked for a companion that can do what they couldn't, and feel safe in the differences of the other - worked

INFP x ESTJ: they loved the differences because they made them feel safe, during life they realized they needed to feel understood by the other and suffered for the lack of similitarities - didn't work

FINAL THOUGHTS

Be careful and choose what is best for YOU depending on what you and your partner look for in a relationship. Because at the end knowing what you want in your love life and waiting until you find it is the most important thing! If you want read this last part by thinking at different characteristics other than MBTI.

Different partner: more work to to but they can help you with doing the things you can't do. Always looking for an opposite partner can be sometimes linked to low self esteem, or positively to a strong adaptation ability.

Similiar partner: less work to do but you will have the same limits and face the same problems. Always looking for a very similar partner can be sometimes a sign of immaturity, or positively of a sensitive trait.

I'll say it again:

I talked about MBTI compatibility but remember that MBTI doesn't describe us totally so choose wisely considering that person completely!

And work with your defects and mental disorders, with them every relationship is destined to fail or be unhealthy or toxic.

Maybe you are thinking "love is blind"... to our mind maybe yes, but unconsciously is linked to how we see ourselves deeply.

Feelings may last some time but having a partner hopefully will last a life.

I wish you all the best love life :)

[the-authoress-writes]

Nadia

Main Blog: @oh-great-authoress

She/Her | no longer a teenager | 🇺🇸🇵🇭 and Proud | Neurodivergent | Roman Catholic | Slytherclaw | ESTJ

🌸My Peeps🌸

This Blog will never have any explicit content, but I would greatly prefer if I could see my followers ages in their profile.

I do not give my permission for any of my stories to be reposted (reblogs are very very welcomed) and/or fed into any AI program of any sort.

Fandoms I Write For:

Top Gun

Ships

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky X Reader

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky X Sarah Kazansky

Top Gun: Maverick

Ships

Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Reader

Pete “Maverick” Mitchell X Reader

Star Wars

Ships

Reylo

Gingerrose/Gingerflower

DCEU

Ships

Quinnflag

House M.D.

If you’d like to join my taglist, just send me an ask!

Masterlist below the cut!

Updated 8/21/24

Top Gun 1986

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky

Wherever You Go

X Aviator!Reader

Written for @roosterforme’s Top Gun Rocktober Fic Challenge

✨Ongoing Series✨

New Chapter 3/15/24

Synopsis: Tom Kazansky made a mistake.

Or rather, a series of mistakes.

He chose to take the assignment as an instructor at TOPGUN.

He fell in love with one of his students.

He broke her heart.

He chose to leave TOPGUN, and redeploy.

Now, he was stuck onboard the USS Nimitz with the woman whose heart he broke, with no way out.

Unbelievably, that’s not the problem.

Problem is, he still loves her.

Somewhere Out There

X Wife!Reader

Written for @valmare

Synopsis: Deployments are hard, but when you have someone to come home to, someone to love, that makes things easier, painful as it may be.

Dangerous Games

X Navy Nurse Wife!Reader

Synopsis: The saying goes “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes”.

Well, Mrs. Thomas Kazansky is about to learn another version of this saying; “Play dangerous games, win dangerous prizes”.

But she doesn’t exactly mind.

The Comfort of Your Arms

X Nurse Wife!Reader

Written for @callsign-skydancer

Synopsis: When a bad day at the ER leaves Mrs. Kazansky a wreck, she goes to the only place she knows she’s safe.

A Warm Wind Blowing the Stars Around

X Sarah Kazansky

Synopsis: A mandatory visit to Naval Medical Center San Diego leads to more than Tom “Iceman” Kazansky thought possible.

Family

Headcanons

Synopsis: Family has a great deal of meaning for Thomas Kazansky.

It affects and has affected him in more ways than one, and it continues to influence and shape him.

Top Gun: Maverick

Jake “Hangman” Seresin

If You Please

X Lawyer!Reader

Written for @roosterforme’s Top Gun Rocktober Fic Challenge

Synopsis: It’s not everyday that one’s best friend gets married, it’s not everyday that one is asked to be said friend’s Maid of Honor, and it’s certainly not everyday one meets a gorgeous, blond naval aviator.

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

Safe and Sound

X Seresin!OC

Synopsis: After leaving her violent and abusive husband, Anastasia Seresin has known nothing but fear for months.

Always looking over her shoulder, wondering if he’s found her and their son, Luke, again.

With nowhere left to go, she turns to her younger twin brother, Jake, hoping that finally, she’ll have fled far enough.

But when she meets Bradley Bradshaw, her world is turned upside down, and she’s left wondering…

Will she have the courage to love again, and to let herself be loved?

Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing

Mavdad/X Penny Benjamin

Synopsis: What do paperwork and a manicure have to do with Pete Mitchell getting the happy ending he never thought he would?

Everything, apparently.

Up Where We Belong

X Writer!Reader

✨Series Completed 8/21/24✨

Synopsis: When a writer experiencing horrible writer’s block goes to the Apple Valley Airshow for inspiration, she meets a certain older, daring naval aviator, leading to maybe a little more than just inspiration.

Gen Fic

Bradley’s Uncle(s) (And Dad)

Dagger Squad Crack

Synopsis: The Daggers look through Mav’s TOPGUN class yearbook.

What they see surprises most of them.

In other related news, Bradley would like to bleach his brain.

And his ears.

[notanotherinfjblog]

Do you ever find that you get characterized or stereotyped in certain ways by others, either negatively or positively?

Hi anon! :)

So you kind of mean, what are the reviews that I get to me as a person? Because there are absolutely trends in that respect.

What people usually agree on, no matter for how long they've known me, is that I'm quiet, nice, and pretty much impossible to read. Most strangers first think I'm shy, while my friends have learned that I'm not. I just don't talk much, but absolutely can monologue if so asked. Back in school, teachers often tended to forget me and said I hardly ever participated in class, even when that wasn't true. I could speak up like three times per class and they'd still say that I've never said a word in the entire semester. I always found that extremely annoying (especially since oral participation is 50-100% of your grade here, depending on the subject). I just always seem to fade into the background. But throughout my life, there have always been some extroverts who took one look at me and went "yeah, I'm gonna adopt that one." I remember when my ESTJ friend adopted me many years ago, she said "you are so cool when you talk, but you talk so little, so other people don't know how cool you really are. I'm going to tell them all about you!!" and so she (successfully) tried to make her friends befriend me because she (correctly) thought I wouldn't be socially adept enough to do that by myself. I appreciate this kind of behaviour a lot, but at the same time it's a bit infantilising, which is also something that keeps on happening. It's always very well meant, but it's like other people look at you and see a little baby that they need to protect. Funnily enough, the Video Diaries from BBC Merlin with all the comments about Colin Morgan (a fellow INFJ) by his co-stars always remind me a lot of how people tend talk about me when they first meet me. It's often a sort of bewilderment as to why everyone is so endeared by me when I'm actually a rather odd person, until they get to know me better and - oh, would you look at that? I've been adopted again. When you're perceived as nice and kind, but socially awkward, forgetful and completely detached from everyday life, apparently it makes you rather adorable in other people's eyes (or so I've been told). They do take you seriously, that's not an issue, but at the same time, it feels like they are cheering you on like a puppy that's chasing a motorbike. Similarly to Bradley James' (an ESFJ) little ironic rant in the video diaries linked above, where he goes "everyone loooves Colin, oh he's so nice, he's so innocent, aww Colin aww. Oh Bradley? Yeah, pff, don't worry about Bradley, he's fine, he's ... you know, whatever. Colin aww, look after Colin aww", people who know me actually really do talk about me like this, like I need to be looked after. For instance, when I recently got back from an international conference where I gave a presentation, I happened to meet my ENTJ colleague in the hallway and he immediately went "how was the conference? Were they nice to you?" Not "did you meet some nice people?", but "were they nice to you?" as in "do I need to get mad at people for not treating you right?" Similarly, I’ve had a student come up to me being genuinely worried about my workload and asking how I was going to grade all their term papers as if I hadn’t enough on my plate already and that I should take care of myself. So this can be very sweet, or occasionally a bit annoying.

Honestly, I'd say the only people who don't characterise me as a strange little puppy that needs protecting are ISFPs. Depending on their particular flavour of Fi, they usually look at me like "that's an alien. I don't trust her, keep her away from me." A lot of people don't really know what to do with me when they first meet me because no matter how emotive I can get, apparently I come across as an unreadable enigma so that you never know what I'm actually thinking or feeling at any given moment. Most people tend to stick around to find a way to peek beneath the mask they believe to be there (there isn't one), but 98% of ISFPs just go "Nope. Bye." Meanwhile, I often get the impression that I slightly terrify ISFJs like with an uncanny valley effect as in "I recognise that you have Fe like me, but there's something wrong with it. Why is there something wrong with it?"

So other people's types tend to play a role in their interpretation of me as well. For instance, when it comes to my sense of humour, it's always the same types that find it funny (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, INFP, ESFJ, ENTP, ISTP), that know how to properly respond to it (ENTJ, INTJ, INFP, ENTP), and those who absolutely do not get it (ISFP, ENFP, ISTJ).

[yourmotherstrashmouth]

Hi I hope you have a great day today!

Can I have a Harry Potter Matchup please?

My name is Sarah by the way!

Physical Appearance: I have long brown hair with blonde highlights, ocean blue eyes with bluish-purple glasses, I have a curvy but lean body with strong calves thanks to the years of dancing (cheerleading and ballet), horse-riding, running and jumping, I am 5'1 feet tall, I have pale-tan skin with freckles on my face and also I got random moles and freckles on my arms and legs as well and people say I got a smile that can brighten up any room.

Personality: I am an open-minded, kind-hearted, optimistic and friendly girl with a love of learning things like zodiac signs, MBTI types, crystals and Disney etc. I can be very impatient, stubborn, naive and I am also in the spectrum so I can be blunt and quirky only because I see the world in a different way from other people but I see the good in people no matter what and I am loyal and dependable to my friends and family and when someone hurts my friends and my family I can be fiercely protective all over them.

My type for a perfect person: I just want to be my best friend and partner in crime, I want a gentleman who will be proudly hold my hand and being glad that I am their girlfriend, I want someone to bring me flowers and compliments everyday and being the mother/father of my future kids someday and treat me like a queen all the time.

Sexuality and Pronouns: Bisexual (Both male and female preference) and She/Her

MBTI Type: INFJ-T

Big Three: Sagittarius sun, Cancer moon and Aquarius rising

Moral Alignment: Lawful Good

Enneagram Type: Type 2 (The Helper)

Temperament Personality Type: Sanguine-Choleric (The Influencer)

For Harry Potter I match you with... Hermione Granger!

Song: We Fell In Love In October - girl in red

Well, who would expect the most brillant witch of wizarding and witchcraft history would fall for you? Hermione never though she would become a gentlelady for you. She even brings you flowers and crystals when she gets home from work.

She's a bit hesitant about children, but as soon as you both will be ready, you might have little ones of your own.

She calls you "Sarah-Bear" and you call here "Hermi-Witch".

INFJs are likely to trust ESTJs who show concern for INFJs' feelings. INFJs need to feel safe and connected to build lasting relationships. ESTJs will grow to trust INFJs who can be more direct and level-headed; INFJs should also allow ESTJs the independence they need to thrive and Virgo and Sagittarius couple, who are both keen on time and preparation, will find calmness in plotting a course for the future. However, there will be times when cooperation and perseverance are required.

[karaliannesims]

The Clevengers

I used the Life Manager mod from Sacrificial Mods to create a family tree for the patriarch in this new save. This gets us parents in-game who show up periodically. It also gets us grandparents, some of whom are usually DOA; we get their gravestones in our inventory and can set them wherever. So two of his grandparents have been bound to their gravestones, which are set up next to the house. You will note that there is only one parent here; that's because the family tree was created for the adult sim--you can't do it for infants. I'll let you know what stage it starts working. In the meantime, if you have any ideas about where the babygirl's mama is, I'm open to suggestions. If you think she died, include how and if she gets generated when I can make a family tree for the little girl, I'll take care of it.

The Family and Their Home

Meet Brantley. He's a single dad. The first image here is the random Sim the game generated for me; the other two show you how I changed him. Once I started the game, I used KawaiiStacie's Life Decider to get him skills, a job, some more traits, and a few new acquaintances/friends/enemies.

Traits from CAS: Materialistic, Oblivious, Neat

Traits from mod: Left-Handed, Drinkoholic, The Supervisor--ESTJ, Prefers Exclusive Romantic Relationships, Domestic, Weak Bladder, Sinister

Aspiration: Super Parent

Career: Culinary

This is Rosemary, Brantley's daughter, when she was an infant. First image is how she came up via genetics and randomization; second is after I went in and picked some clothes and a new hairstyle etc. As an infant, Rosemary was Wiggly.

I bought Daisy Hovel, couldn't find a build I liked in my library or my gallery, so I bulldozed it and built something for my small family that fit their budget and the family. Money was tight, so we were missing a few things at first, but don't worry--as Brantley earned money we were able to purchase some new items to fill in the blanks.

Except curtains. I always forget to put up curtains.

Gameplay

Brantley's a good dad. He does his best to take care of Rosemary. I'm hoping they'll have a great relationship as she grows up.

I do not have Growing Together, so my infants can crawl and everything. I appreciate that because it makes it easier to get their fun up!

The BFFs came over for Welcome Wagon. We stood in the entry and talked. I think Brantley mostly befriended Summer? I'll have to check.

Brantley doesn't like fruitcake. I threw it out.

Gotta take care of that baby, even if your own needs are low. That's parenting, folks.

And then Rosemary aged up!

She is SO CUTE. Her toddler trait is Charmer; the extra trait is that she's Right-Handed.

Naturally, I had to get a bunch of toddler stuff for the house.

A lot of my todd stuff is CC. LMK if you want to know who made some of it, but in general you're gonna want Ravasheen, Pandasama, Syboulette/SyBouBou, and Sixamcc.

Naturally, I had to check Rosemary out in CAS and fix up her look.

First image is her game-generated everyday look. second is after I cleaned her up. And last you see her in her new bunny pyjamas. Brantley is sleeping, he was exhausted.

I don't know where this is going to go, I tend not to think that far ahead. So far Brantley has been working and taking care of his baby girl. Now she's a toddler, she won't need as much help so hopefully he'll be able to engage in his hobbies more--he likes to play guitar and violin, and he likes making toys. I don't think he'd start dating until she's old enough to be left at home by herself. At that point, he might go for a blind date via the SimDa Dating App mod from LittleMsSam and see what happens.

What do you think of my new save? Any thoughts on where this might go?

[funkymbtifiction]

Is it normal for 3 to constantly feel stressed about job performance?

It would be normal for an sp-dom 3, in the same way that a social 3 would be concerned with their reputation/acceptance, or sexual 3 would be concerned with their need to stand out sexually.

And is it normal for 3 to be plague with a voice in my head telling me to 'give up, you can't do this. Give up now, run away, don't let them see how weak and stupid you really are.'

This sounds like a strong 6 fix, but not being a 3, I don't know what their normal inner monologue is like.

It's like I feel like I'm constantly pushing myself to the edge to keep up with everything. I'm stressed over my work performance and constantly needing to step up my game at all time. I want to keep up with my producers so I could be more useful to the team. I feel like I have to be smarter, stronger and smoother because I need to be the pillar to everyone. I feel like I need to be the most reliable one so everyone can work smoothly, but it's pushing me to the edge.

3s desperately need others to see them as competent, and to be competent, but this is particularly your 2 wing stressing over wanting to "help" and seeking a position of power. Why do you feel like you need to be the most reliable person in the office, when your previous ask told me there are capable SJs within your work environment who can handle the details that give your inferior Si stress? Also, why do you think it's your job to keep everything running smoothly? Are you not part of a team, which means it's everyone's job to do their part, maintain communication, and support each other? Who made you the center of this little universe? (You did, 3! But... you aren't, and you don't have to be, and choosing to overdo it is still a choice. You can also choose not to try to be the center of everything. ;)

I've been pushing myself really hard to learn fast and be efficient. I'd say I'm far ahead in terms of actual production and networking than my teammates. But it's not enough. So I stayed late at the office every night. Work harder than anyone. Taking on more tasks than everyone else (including juggling between 2 movies, 1 corporate shoot, 1 netflix shoot, among other miscellaneous jobs I helped my friends with). That allows me to know more than other people but it also puts a strain on my mind and body too. I've been stressing that I need to be better everyday and it's become exhausting.

Then stop. Go home when everyone else goes home. You are not an ESTJ, so stop trying to act like one. There is a reason why people go home. And I will tell you, so that you can internalize it and save yourself from running yourself into exhaustion. The reason people rest is that you can only turn out your best work for about 3 hours a day. This is why most people prefer to do their hardest work in the morning. By 5pm, people's energy levels, ability to focus, and capability of doing a task well is shot. Going home, stopping work, and walking away from it to clear your head, read a book, and get a good night's sleep is essential to refilling your mental and physical tank, so that you are not worthless the next day.

Do not take on more than is your fair share, either. That work will get done without you stressing yourself into poor health because of it. What you need is self-care, so that you don't burn out and crash.

I realize for an ENTP, this is a hard thing to process, because you assume you can go forever without exhaustion catching up to you and destroying you. But take it from someone who has had to learn the hard way that over-working, taking on too much, etc., leads down a bad road. I have killed myself writing for 9 hours a day, when my best work was in the first three. I have had to train myself to stop and not keep pushing to meet a word count, or do as much as I did yesterday, in the full realization that I miss things and am no good at my job when I am tired. I won't lie to you, it makes me angry that I am stuck in an ENFP body that gets tired after only a few hours, and that I can't rush from one project right into another, but that's how it is. I can either learn self-care now or I can collapse from exhaustion and spend weeks recovering -- in which case I'll get NOTHING done.

Set reasonable small goals and meet them, and when you are done with those, if you have a bit of energy to loan to your friends for their projects (making sure to ask if they want help, and not just take it over, or assign it to yourself, and going home if they say no) do it. If you are tired (trust me, I know that you only realize you are tired when you actually stop focusing for the day)... quit. Call it a night.

Look. This is a new job. You are going to make mistakes. That's being human. Trust me, nobody is looking at you and thinking you are an idiot. Everyone is thinking about themselves and how well they are doing. 3s think they should just show up at a job and be perfect. They don't want to have to learn how to do it like everybody else. They want people to see their efforts as... effortless. "Yeah, look at all I accomplished, it was no biggie!" when in reality, they were up all night pulling out their hair, drinking excessive amounts of coffee, and freaked about not making their deadline.

But nobody gets it right on the first try. So cut yourself some slack.

I feel like unless I'm special and smart enough, no one's gonna take me seriously.

They already take you seriously, otherwise you wouldn't have the job.

No one's gonna value me. It's almost like all I have is my performance, with that gone, I'm nothing. I have to be smart and strong and reliable so people accept me.

Welcome to the hell that is 3-ness. Read more about 3s. Read what Richard Rohr says about 3s. And then come to the hard truth that... none of the lies you tell yourself are true. Thus begins your journey. A journey of choice, rather than constantly giving in to these thoughts and going on 3 autopilot, which is "earning love."

You. Have. A CHOICE.

What do you think I should be doing? I love this job and I love this very supportive and progressive community. They give me the love and acceptance I've never experienced my entire life. I don't want to lose them, but I want to stay healthy, mentally, too.

Stop over-compensating. Take on the projects they give you and don't greedily suck up all the work for yourself. Recognize that you cannot do it all, mentally or physically, and that attempting to do so is going to make you sloppier in your work due to exhaustion. Go home when everyone else does. No more late nights at the office.

[mbti-notes]

How can I explain to my parents that I don’t want to be as religious as they are? We have arguments about beliefs where we don’t agree but what is really disturbing is things that affect everyday life. While my mom(ESFJ) says she will support me always, she sometimes touches on the topic implicitly in a mocking manner which piss me off. My ESTJ dad says if I don’t like his beliefs I should leave the house, and that we both don’t want this. I’ll be 19 soon and more free but I want a good relation

You can't negotiate with someone who isn't respectful of you and your perspective. It takes both parties to make a relationship work. That said, regardless of how others treat you, you always have the choice to be the person you want to be, rather than get drawn into drama and become the worst version of yourself. You always have the option to be an independent adult and take responsibility for yourself, your perspective, your feelings, and the consequences of your behavior.

Do you believe that you are entitled to your own point of view? If you truly believe it, nothing anyone says should bother you, because you are fully within your right to believe whatever you want.

Do you believe that your parents are entitled to their point of view? If you truly believe it, nothing they say should bother you, because you fully respect their right to believe whatever they want.

If you don't genuinely believe in freedom of thought, then you are the originator of this conflict. You want the freedom to have your beliefs but you aren't allowing others the same freedom. You're not going to win anything by disrespecting people's rights and boundaries just because yours feel violated and you're "pissed off".

The current reality of your relationship with your parents indicates that you can EITHER have your beliefs OR you can get parental validation. In this situation, it would be unrealistic to expect that you can have your cake and eat it too. Unrealistic expectations lead to self-inflicted pain and suffering. If you choose to honor yourself and your beliefs, you forfeit their validation. It's the price you must pay for independence. If you choose their validation, you forfeit your integrity. It's the price you must pay for dependence.

While it would be nice for parents to always be empathetic and validating, that's simply not reality. Right now, it might seem like your only options are to fight with them or to shut your mouth and swallow mistreatment. Is there another, more nuanced option? In this case, it is to exercise maturity and independence. But you won't be able to achieve this as long as your ego wants validation and you perceive everything little negative thing they say and do as an attack on your ego.

A mature and independent person speaks up for themselves in a way that respects everyone involved. They de-escalate conflict rather than worsening it because they are always able to keep in mind their goals of maintaining civil relations and respecting individuality for all. If you take a respectful approach at all times, people are more likely to hear you out, though it may take some time to happen. To achieve this requires you to work on psychological independence, communication skills, conflict resolution skills, and boundary setting skills (see the tags and book recs for more info). This conflict with your parents is a chance to learn and grow, if you can see the bigger picture beyond the pain of disagreement.

[just-intp-thoughts]

Are you really that MBTI or...

Are you really INTJ or are you just condescending towards others to compensate for your own insecurities?

Are you really INTP or do you just wear the same 2 hoodies everyday and forget to shower?

Are you really ENTJ or do you just sympathize with every movie villain?

Are you really ENTP or are you just an asshole on the internet for no reason?

Are you really an INFJ or are you just an enneagram 4 with an individuality complex?

Are you really INFP or do you just have daddy/mommy issues?

Are you really ENFJ or do you just temporarily adopt the main character’s personality after you finish any show or movie? 

Are you really an ENFP or do you just say “pp” as a one liner?

Are you really ISTJ or do you just order the same thing every time you eat out?

Are you really ISFJ or are you just the mom or dad of your friend group?

Are you really ESTJ or do you just fight a guy on sight if they wronged you?

Are you really ESFJ or do you just have 5 Instagram accounts for your 5 different facades?

Are you really ISTP or are you just a guy putting on a bad boy act to seem way tougher than you actually are?

Are you really ISFP or do you just cry at minor inconveniences?

Are you really ESTP or do you just think it’s cool to take pictures standing on top of a car?

Are you really ESFP or do you just say you have “crackhead energy”?

[kaepopsicle]

nct mbti types redo!

the old one can be found here! but i definitely recommend this one more tehe!

🧃

hi hi! so i know most of you know about mbti or myers briggs personality, if you don’t well. . here’s a little summary! if you already do know go ahead and scroll down past the keep reading to find ncts types! now for those that don’t and want to know it’s basically when you take this quiz and you get four/five letters, each giving you a detailed description of your personality! it helps you find other people with the same personality and people you are compatible or not compatible with! of course it is all just for fun! but i know some people take it seriously! do whatever feels right to you! so moving on to the different letters; there are 4 different letters you can get! which leads to about 16 different outcomes! (there are also 2 extra letters! A & T which are basically the outlook on yourself! but not that many people actually go by those!)

- first there’s E & I (extrovert & introvert) this is basically what your energy level is. E- you get energized by people and are more social. I- you get drained by people and are more homebodies.

- second there’s N & S (intuitive & sensing) this is basically how you understand or learn about other people! N- you base off of your gut feeling or instincts when you first meet someone! more observant! S- you are more logical, analytical, you get to know people a little first before you decide!

- third there’s F & T (feeling & thinking) this is basically what it says! how do you respond to problems! F- you think with your heart! more empathetic and emotional! T- you think with your head! more logical and emotionally intelligent!

- fourth and last one there’s P & J (perceiving & judging) and this is basically on how you prefer to live your everyday life! P- more spontaneous go with the flow! you don’t like schedules very much and tend to go with your gut on things! J- more neat, more punctual! you like routine and for things to go as planned!

also! you can be a mix of these! (for example i am an enfp/infp! so am an mix of extroverted & introverted!) you can pick one that resonates with you most or if they both do go by both!

well that should be all of it! if you want to take the quiz then you can find it right here! now that you know a little bit about what it is! let’s get into what ncts types are! i split them up between the two biggest differences which are introverts vs extroverts! :))

— introverts

confirmed types: infj . isfj . isfp . infp

other introverted types: intj . istj . istp . intp

🧃

- infj

members that are confirmed infjs:

ten . jungwoo . mark . hendery . winwin . half jisung

members i also think are infjs:

no one else

common traits include: creative . empathetic . friendly . intelligent . private . overthinkers . artistic!

most compatible with: enfp!!!! . infp . enfj . other infj

our most popular type! (which is great bc it’s my natural partner ;)) infjs or also know as the advocates are highly artistic and creative people! they appear at first to be very quiet and sensitive! but when actually they’re quite intelligent and are observant, peaceful, friendly people!

“With their strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding, INFJs can be soft-spoken and empathetic. This does not mean that they are push-over's, however. They have deeply held beliefs and an ability to act decisively in order to get what they want. While they are introverted by nature, people with this personality type are able to form strong, meaningful connections with other people. They enjoy helping others, but they also need time and space to recharge. While this personality type may be characterized by idealism, this does not mean that INFJs see the world through rose-colored glasses. They understand the world, both the good and the bad, and hope to be able to make it better.”

🧃

- isfj

members that are confirmed isfjs:

doyoung . jaemin

members i think that are also isfjs:

yuta . half johnny

‎

common traits include: protective . compassionate . sees the good in others . sensitives with others emotions . warm hearted

most compatible with: esfp!!!! . estp . istj . & other isfj

this type is one of my personal favorites! the defenders! they are the type of people who will have you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk! they may seem a little cold at first but once they trust and open up to you they are so warm! and loyal! very puppy like!

“They typically want to work hard, get along with others, and make sure they do what is expected of them. ISFJs value relationships highly and strive to cooperate and maintain harmony with others. They want stability and longevity in their relationships, and tend to maintain a deep devotion to family. They feel most connected with people they know they can rely upon over the long term. ISFJs appreciate tradition and like knowing how things were done in the past. They are loyal to established methods and values, and want to observe the proper, accepted way of doing things. They place great importance on fitting in with established institutions and contributing what they can to maintain strong, stable social structures. In groups, they often take on the role of historian, ensuring that new members respect and value the established customs.”

🧃

- isfp

members that are confirmed isfps:

taeil . jeno

members i think that are also isfps:

shotaro

common traits include: independent . imaginative . creative . passionate

most compatible with: esfj!!!! . esfp . isfj . other isfp

the next type is the adventurers! they are curious and passionate people that are very drawn to the outside world and helping others! they are gentle and sweet :)

“ISFPs are gentle caretakers who live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. They are flexible and spontaneous, and like to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer. ISFPs are quiet and unassuming, and may be hard to get to know. However, to those who know them well, the ISFP is warm and friendly, eager to share in life's many experiences. ISFPs have a strong aesthetic sense and seek out beauty in their surroundings. They are attuned to sensory experience, and often have a natural talent for the arts. ISFPs especially excel at manipulating objects, and may wield creative tools like paintbrushes and sculptor's knives with great mastery.”

🧃

- infp

members that are confirmed infps:

chenle . half jisung

members i think that are also infps:

taeyong

common traits include: peaceful . idealistic . open minded . seek harmony

most compatible with: enfj!!!! . enfp . infj . other infp

the next type are the mediators! i love this type (not only bc im half this type) but bc this type is really the most pure and deserves the entire world. they are curious and flexible people!

“Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.”

🧃

- istp

members who are confirmed istps:

none of them

members who i think are istps:

renjun

common traits include: practical . creative . rational . spontaneous

most compatible with: entp!!!! . estj . intp . other istp

these are the virtuosos! this type are relaxed! very down to the grown, they are the type of people you want to have during an crisis, they are good at calling the shots and keeping everyone calm!

“Virtuosos love to explore with their hands and their eyes, touching and examining the world around them with cool rationalism and spirited curiosity. People with this personality type are natural Makers, moving from project to project, building the useful and the superfluous for the fun of it, and learning from their environment as they go. Often mechanics and engineers, Virtuosos find no greater joy than in getting their hands dirty pulling things apart and putting them back together, just a little bit better than they were before.”

— extroverts

confirmed types: enfp . esfj . esfp . estp

other extroverted types: entp . enfj . estj . entj

🧃

- enfp

members who are confirmed enfps:

xiaojun . haechan

members who i think are also enfps:

no one else

common traits: energetic . fun . kind . very popular & friendly

most compatible with: infj!!!! . infp . enfj . other enfp

these are the campaigners! (my other personality type) these types are the kind of people you want to be friends with, they keep the energy happy and fun, but also know how to listen and relax

“Campaigners will bring an energy that oftentimes thrusts them into the spotlight, held up by their peers as a leader and a guru – but this isn’t always where independence-loving Campaigners want to be. Worse still if they find themselves beset by the administrative tasks and routine maintenance that can accompany a leadership position. Campaigners’ self-esteem is dependent on their ability to come up with original solutions, and they need to know that they have the freedom to be innovative – they can quickly lose patience or become dejected if they get trapped in a boring role.”

🧃

- esfp

members that are confirmed esfp:

half jaehyun

members who i think are also esfp:

lucas

common traits include: bold . aesthetic . confident . inclusive

most compatible with: isfp!!!! . isfj . esfj . other esfp

this type are known as the entertainers! the whole world is their stage! these people are not only eye catching and well entertaining, they are sweet and have good sportsmanship!

“Entertainers love the spotlight, and all the world’s a stage. Many famous people with the Entertainer personality type are indeed actors, but they love putting on a show for their friends too, chatting with a unique and earthy wit, soaking up attention and making every outing feel a bit like a party. Utterly social, Entertainers enjoy the simplest things, and there’s no greater joy for them than just having fun with a good group of friends. Though it may not always seem like it, Entertainers know that it’s not all about them – they are observant, and very sensitive to others’ emotions. People with this personality type are often the first to help someone talk out a challenging problem, happily providing emotional support and practical advice.”

‎

‎

🧃

- esfj

members that are confirmed esfj:

kun

members who i think are also esfj:

half johnny

common traits include: supportive . encouraging . caring . positive

most compatible with: isfj!!!! . isfp . esfp . other esfj

this next type are called the consuls! known for their very parent like demeanors, these are what you call your “mom/dad friends” the ones that will give you the best advice and always be a shoulder to lay on and always cheer you on at your worst!

“People who share the Consul personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular – which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the population. In high school, Consuls are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their teams forward to victory and fame. Later in life, Consuls continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.”

‎

🧃

- estp

members that are confirmed estp:

half jaehyun . sungchan

members who i think are also estp:

no one else

common traits include: social . perceptive . original . direct

most compatible with: intp!!!! . istp . entp . other estp

these are the entrepreneurs! the people that know what they want in life and will and have the stamina to do so, they are natural born leaders and enjoy calling the shots! and expressing their big ideas!

“Entrepreneurs always have an impact on their immediate surroundings – the best way to spot them at a party is to look for the whirling eddy of people flitting about them as they move from group to group. Laughing and entertaining with a blunt and earthy humor, Entrepreneur personalities love to be the center of attention. If an audience member is asked to come on stage, Entrepreneurs volunteer – or volunteer a shy friend.”

‎

🧃

- entp

members that are confirmed entp:

none

members who i think are entp:

yangyang

common traits include: quick thinkers . knowledgeable . charismatic . energetic

most compatible with: isfp!!!! . intp . esfj . other entps

the last type we will be talking about are known as the debaters! this type are the kind that could go for hours discussing important topics to them! they are quick witted, and are good at coming up with things on their feet. intelligent and resourceful, these types make excellent lawyers

“No one loves the process of mental sparring more than the Debater personality type, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points. Debaters are the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. They don’t always do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, though. Sometimes it’s for the simple reason that it’s fun.”

‎

🧃

- wowowowubsy, this was a really long post! thanks for making it to the end! what do you think about their types and do you have any other ideas what types the remaining mystery members are? thank you so much for reading! :)

- my thoughts are that there is not a single introverted thinker on this whole team! (renjun i have hope in you!)

- and the fact there are only 1.5 confirmed thinkers in an group of 23- how do they manage ???

- sorry sungchan & jae

- they really are a bunch of introverted feelers goodness gracious

- also literally my pictures ran out half way through it and it won’t let me delete them lmao so sorry about that

‎

[askaarii]

MBTI series headcannons #1

A/N: 

So this a story series about the 16 MBTI types as characters. Turn here if you’d like to know a bit about the characters and the summary. I hope you enjoy! :) Might be based on slight stereotypes/my personal experience

It was an ordinary evening in the 16 Dorms with exams approaching

Let us peep spy into each of the types rooms and see what they are doing how they are procrastinating 

In the top-most room, ISTJ is calmly studying.

 He is seated at the desk with the perfect posture , neatly reading the notes and punctually following the timer--- a perfect example student really.

Moving on the next room, it’s a bit loud there. 

ESTJ and her group mates have met for a discussion.

“And you, do this part, and you take care of these presentations and ...” she, the group leaders, commanded to them

And she went on teaching them parts they couldn’t get and planning how their project would be the best

Though their exams is barely weeks away, ESFJ is cooking. 

He is in the kitchen, making a delicious supper that he is sure the “kids” (he refers to ENTP and ESTP as his kids) 

He is thinking very hard indeed what he should get his crush for Valentines’ Day

ISFP is helping him to cook and is humming the new song she made up to memorise the chapter

“And did you know what x said about y?” ESFJ leans in as they gossip

“Oh yes! I heard them whispering in the corridor,” ISFP chimes in

 She stays there for a minute before suddenly leaving because she got a new idea to paint about

In her room, ESFP has locked herself. Again.  

It was break really and she wanted to film a little dance she had practised but it just wasn’t perfect.

It was meant to be a five minute break. But it’s been half-an-hour since and the video wasn’t still up

“But what’s the problem with this?!” she asks herself, putting on the makeup for 16th time. “I wanted to make a live but there isn’t many people online. and. now. my moves aren’t perfect.” 

At last she gave and ended up spending another half-an-hour on Instagram.

INTJ and ENTP were sharing rooms. (they are roommates :)

“Do you have to make such a mess, ENTP?” INTJ says, annoyed.

“Did you know that a messy desk is a sign of genius?” ENTP grins smugly.

INTJ: “But it’s always a sign of time waste. You spend 45 minutes yesterday to find a single pen.”

ENTP: “But you spend AN HOUR every week to organize your desk.”

And this resulted in a full-fledged debate that went on for hours

ENTJ was not at home. 

He had gone to his rival���s house to enter a study-competition and take part in mock tests.

ISTP was in his room, fixing his guitar.

He felt exams weren’t really a good way of judging the students’ status and he’d much rather do something useful that mug up facts

He took a sip from his milk, and concentrated on the guitar again

and after he’d done, he stood up, took his bike, and went for a little drive down the streets

 ENFP and INFJ were sitting together. 

They had meant to study but it ended up in a big, detailed discussion about life

Both of them were best friends and very comfortable around each other so...

They ended up sharing their sorrows and pain (therapy session for both)

‘and did you see that boy in anime?’

‘and what do you think about dinosaurs living in space?’

and their conversation went on and on

ENFJ and ISFJ were studying together.

Both of them were in a very peaceful room, with scented candles 

Perfect ambience

Study music playing out in the background.

ENFJ helped ISFJ (who’s the junior) in her problems

And ISFJ brought refreshing tea both 

And their studies were going out very well.

INTP has just woken up. Good evening!

She has a very weird sleep schedule... her clock is adjusted to a different timezone

She made herself a cup of dark coffee and lights up the computer screen 

‘just for five minutes...’ she whispers as she opens YouTube, ‘just one episode...’

Ends up binge-watching an entire 12-episode anime series

ESTP is at the roof, watering plants.

Recently, he had taken up gardening as a hobby as if he didn’t have a thousand hobbies already

In his head, he’s calculating the distance of that new adventure trail that has opened and the time he has for exams and what excuse to make for not completing the homework due the next day and how to steal ISTP’s bike and what street rules to break

Suddenly he sees ISTP driving out at full speed and jumps from the roof, trying out his new parachute 

INFP is in his room, staring at the laptop screen

 He had so many plans for the evening but now...? He’s just staring at the screen.

Scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest, and talking to himself.

‘Oh INFP, you made it yourself? For me?’ ‘yes, my love, you are my everything. for me, valentines’ day is everyday when you are around’ ‘come on don’t be so cheesy. let’s go on a long drive, INFP.’ ‘...just me and you?’ and so the imaginary conversation in his head went

Also, made scribbled ideas about his stories, made picrews about his OCs, made some aesthetic boards and studied a paragraph or two

And before going to bed, genuinely questioned himself, ‘why did i waste the entire evening?’

to be continued...

Tagging: (let me know if you’d like to be added :) @zestywaffles @hatty-blue @thecherriemengu

[yanderememes]

I'm curious about a darling who's an ISFP. (It's me, I'm the ISFP) Which yanderes/types would have the toughest time with me? Which yanderes/types would most likely kidnap me? Which yanderes/types would I most likely get along with? I'm dying to know. I know nothing about this personality stuff 😔

No worries ISFP anon! Not everyone is well-versed with mbti and that's totally fine. We're learning everyday 😌

!Disclaimer! All types can get along as long as you're both mature and healthy! MBTI compatibility should be taken with a grain of salt

Types who'd struggle with ISFPs:

ENTJ, ENTP, ESTP (ENTJs think ISFP are too emotional and irrational. ENTP/ESTP won't understand ISFPs at all)

Types who'd most likely kidnap ISFPs:

INTJ, ISTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ (generally, yandere xxTJs are possessive)

Types who'd ISFPs most likely get along with:

ESFJ, ESFP, ISTJ, ENFJ (ESFJ/ENFJ would be attentive to ISFP's needs, provide emotional support and validation. ISTJ is practical and extremely reliable. ESFPs are bubbly, fun, outgoing, and love giving affection)

Hope this answers your question!

[softsakusas]

Congrats on 118!! I’d like to participate in the event please. My name is Az, ESTJ 8w2, Cancer/Aries Rising/Aquarius Moon. My favourite thing to do is sleeping (no fr) or gaming (first person shooter games only such as apex, cod, etc). My favourite character is Ushijima/Zeke. My favourite troupe is enemies to lovers or stuck together (like you keep seeing each other everyday). Fem!Reader please. Thank you sm <33

AZ X USHIJIMA

(stuck together)

Your whole life was mostly spent in the coziness of the dorm room playing games or either sleeping most of the time and the bright classrooms of Shiratorizawa. Starting from middle school up to now, your final year of high school.

But of course studying in Shiratorizawa has people asking you whenever you mention it, the question was all about the top ace of the whole Japan, Ushijima Wakatoshi himself.

Hearing it gets tiring, especially when you see him from your classroom to the hallways and cafeterias of the school, also because of how loud his friends are, so you can't help but look over them.

The relationship between you and the boy mentioned, would be just casual greeting whenever you see each other.

Of course with playing games, it comes to the point where you've developed a friendship with Satori Tendou himself.

To the amount of times you've played together, Ushijima himself would tag along going to your dorm and just watch both of you play, while also asking questions about how things in the game works.

The longer you hangout with them, the more you notice how they act. Especially with Ushijima.

So when you were standing in front of your desk, fixing your skirt. When suddenly you heard Ushijimas voice calling out to you by the classroom door, asking you if it was ok to follow him and because he had something to show you or something.

As you followed him to wherever he was supposedly going to bring you. It was then you arrived by the cherry blossom tree of the campus near the gym where the volleyball team practices. 

Stopping under it, Ushijima looked directly at you, as you asked why both of you were here. He answers with a direct answer, being the person you've known he is, telling you that he was confessing.

That statement alone made you stop your movements ( which was just swaying around) looking at him. He then continued about how he has liked you for the long time you've spent together.  Also about how Tendou helped him figured out his feelings and told him that confessing under the Cherry Blossom tree was romantic.

With the slight reddening of your face, you replied with the words "I like you too". Ushijima then proceeds to say thank you for feeling or reciprocating his feeling and with a slight hesitation asking you whether you were starting to date each other.

Slightly shocked by it, you then nod in agreement about it. He then held your hand and told you to follow him again. Asking where both of you were going, he replied "I'm going to tell Tendou about how it went, together with you of course"

Looking at him, you can't help but notice the small smile forming, nodding your head again. Both of you then proceed to go to his friend, holding each other's hand gently and with you swaying it back and forth.

a/n: I'm not really sure if the fic is good, hopefully you like it tho. And the songs, hopefully you'll like it. THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING ALSO💕💕💕

[notanotherinfjblog]

INFJ being an everyday disaster

INFJ: How do I explain to my neighbour from the apartment above that there will be a handyman climbing around outside her windows early tomorrow morning because there’s a water leak in my apartment?

ESTJ: You tell her that you have a water leak in your apartment and that’s why a handyman will be climbing around outside her windows tomorrow morning. Done. Maybe offer her some cookies if you have some.

INFJ: ... right. That doesn’t sound too complicated actually, why didn’t I think of that?

ESTJ: Because you’re you. We’re all a little stupid sometimes. :)

The next day:

INFJ: I’ve been sitting on a chair in the middle of my apartment with nothing to do for an hour now until that handyman is finally done and comes back inside. I want breakfast.

ESTJ: Then have breakfast?

INFJ: I can’t, I’ve been thinking for an hour that he’ll be back in two minutes and the likelihood of that being true increases with every minute. I want to eat in peace, I can’t risk it now.

ESTJ: You are so complicated. If you’re hungry, have some food. If he comes back, then he comes back. Who cares?

INFJ: I care.

ESTJ: Why are you the way that you are?

[fairybery]

MBTI by clothes I’ve seen them wear:

ISTP: A fedora and trenchcoat

ESTP: Neon pants and a preppy polo

INTP: The same shirt, baseball cap, and sweats for 4 days straight (or a custom tailored suit, depends on his mood)

ENTP: A l w a y s a white tshirt and jeans

ISFP: 50’s style dress

ESFP: Bow ties and funky dress socks— but it all matches perfectly

INFP: Always borderline outfits. Is this trendy or something my grandma would wear? Or maybe both.

ENFP: A bridesmaid dress she wore for a wedding is now the outfit she wears for any event that’s remotely fancy. Accessories may or may not match.

ISTJ: A *lot* of neutral colors, especially brown

ESTJ: Tries to dress trendy but ends up being a few years behind. Still looks coordinated and put together though.

INTJ: Had the same clothes for 20 years. Recently got rid of them all and bought “professor” clothes instead

ENTJ: Wears a suit 100% of the time. His dress shoes are so shiny that you can see your reflection in them

INFJ: Hates being experimental and loves things the match objectively. Dresses like it’s fall year round.

ENFJ: Has a few statement pieces (leather jacket, white tee, white converse, etc.), but likes athletic clothes for everyday wear

ISFJ: Very conventional, very classy, and very modest. Always matches and never goes out of style.

ESFJ: A bit stuck in the early 2010s, but matches pretty well. Big fan of worn out bootcut jeans.