#your boyfriend shitpost

[spirk-trek]

I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY DRINK HE REALLY WENT "aww... anyway bye!"

[todtomatoes]

This is canon for me.

[mellllla]

hey sorry but I put your boyfriend in a poll and no one voted for him. yeah he got like one percent of the votes. the people in the tags are laughing at him. sorry

[b3lugab3rry]

It’s literally them!!!

[four-rabbits-in-a-trenchcoat]

hey sorry but we blended your boyfriend. yeah he's being sold as organic coffee now. you can try brewing him and see what happens, i don't know what else to tell you. sorry about that. here he is in the store btw

[evilkitten3]

i put your boyfriend on the windowsill to cool and... well those hooligans down the street snatched him when my back was turned. i'm sorry, i'll bake you a new one.

[lavina-arts]

Me after joining yandere games fandom;

[omnybus]

Sorry, your boyfriend is frozen in there and we're out here and he's the sheriff and we're frozen out here and we're in there and I just remembered we're out here. Still, what I want to know is where's your boyfriend

[deep-space-lines]

look, I love Garrus but his ME1 characterization makes me wanna do this to him

[dms-saggicorn]

Ain't back at it again with a wee bit of writing nothing major at all but heh felt inspired :p

It was yet another long day of work for dms. She was particularly exhausted today since it was the start of the first week of January. This might not mean much from a lot of folks, but for her and her line of work? It is utter CHAOS. Won't go into too much detail but let's just say the gal has been on her feet all damn day....with overtime. Thank god for it was paid overtime, so it was sorta worth and in turn wasn't too bad. Point is, dms is tired. Too tired to even make dinner...wait too tired to make dinner?

Shit.

With a groan she flops on the nearby comfy couch, snuggling into it's soft velvety surface adorned with plush pillows and a faint citrus like smell. Grabbing one of pillows, the girl shut her drooping eyes, savoring this comforting but fleeting moment of peace. It was afterall a last saving grace for what's to come later...all provided by her beloved boyfriend.

dms: Oh god, he's going to try to cook again isn't he? Christ, not again. I love the guy really I do but man his cooking is just so baaaad.

She grimace and squirmed looking back at the burnt pizza from last time, and that was one of his better one. That being said however...

dms: No that isn't fair. He HAS gotten better, at least a little bit....Maybe I shouldn't judge so hard so soon, YB has Proven to surprise me before so who's to say he won't again tonight?

With yawn and the promise of what if in her mind, dms drifted off to sleep.

.

.

.

.

For a while all was still and quiet, until YB woke her up for dinner.

Or at least that's what he called that thing.

dms:...

YB:...

dms:...

YB:...

dms:...

YB:...

dms:...

YB:...

YB:...

YB: It's that bad isn't it?

dms:...I-

dms: I'm more impressed then anything tbh ngl YB:...

YB:...

YB: Impressed in a good w-

dms: IT HAS A FACE OF AGONY YB

dms still being a softy relented and tried the dish and...it wasn't that bad heh. Ole unhinge baby did manage to surprise her, twofold even! Sure she didn't really knew what it was or what it was supposed to be, but it was ok ish! With the way things were going, YB might actually make something good someday :3 hopefully without a face.

.

.

.

.

.

Yeah yeah blah blah Dawn's turn:

Got overboard with Dawn's whoops lol

Oh boy it was that time of the month again. Normally when a young lady says this it's has nothing to do with a love ones cooking, this was not the case with this fidgeting girl.

Wybie: Um.

Wybie: It's almost ready Darling! Just uh...

Wybie: Give me a few more minutes ok?

Dawn: Ok hun! Remember don't clean up yet

Dawn: I wanna help alright?

Wybie: Alright!

Dawn was worried or was it scared? Whatever it was the gal was NOT looking forward to the 1st of month. You see her Boyfriend Wybie was not a chef by any means but he knew enough to get by, and by get by he meant he lived off of mostly junk food and sweets. She was NOT having this "Junk food is NOT food" this and "You should eating REAL food" that would often come from her irritated mouth. So ever the optimists Dawn propose to teach Wybie as much as she could a few times a week, giving a singular homework assignment after each lesson. The lessons went well, he followed along nicely taking word to every little thing she'd say and managed to make something edible.

It was the AFTER that killed her.

Dawn had been patient, very patient with her boyfriend. Patient with his stubbornness patient with his forwardness and even patient with his INSISTENT clinginess but more than anything she has been patient with Wybie's lack skills after the lessons.

But like????

Each dish one after the other was deplorable.

How do you make cookies taste like soap? Who burns water??? Who breaks Spaghetti in half like an uncultured heathen???? Her boyfriend, that's who.

something she isn't too proud about but her health mean more after all and Wybie full heartedly agree with this.

She still believed anyone and everyone could try learn to cook with enough practice but man, at times Dawn thinks Wybie was just a rare case in that theory that can't be solved.

He's trying, he's REALLY trying but cooking has always been something she has been passionate about and honestly YB's cooking is really testing her patience, her ability to teach, and her will to stomach his work much longer.

It got so bad she changed the homework due dates to spare her from getting sick so the due date was changed to once a month

But she was not quitting!!! She shoved her doubts aside, maintaining the glimmers of hope within and just thought he needed A LOT more guidance and a chance, just one one bite to prove he has gotten better.

That chance actually happen last month with the burnt pizza!! Yeah burnt, but you could still taste the sauce! And it was even sweet that time, that's progress if their ever was one.

So now that feeling of worry or fear was still there but hope lingered right beside it as she twiddled her thumbs ever so slightly rather than fidgeting from earlier.

Moments after YB took Dawn out of her thoughts with a worrisome

Wybie: Darling?

Dawn: huh?

Dawn: Oh Wybie, Sorry about that

Dawn: I guess you're done now right?

Dawn: Let's see how you did

The lanky man gulped placing the Meal down

Wybie: Y-yeah I hope it uh

Wybie: Not too bad this time?

Wybie: N-nonsense I-m sure it isn't that b-AH

Looking down at her plate Dawn found it looking up at her in terror.

Dawn: Oh. My.

Dawn: How uh...creative?

Wybie panicked, his anxiety getting the best of him. He wanted nothing more to please his Darling but he can't even manage to make a simple meal. If she wasn't so determined he'd give up months ago, he can't let her sick again. He'd never forgive himself! He can't let her eat this thing.

Wybie: Look I have no idea how it ended up like

Wybie: I know you really want to learn love

Wybie: But Y-you don't have to eat it!

Wybie: I can go fetch you something else I swear!!

Wybie: Darling please I don't want you to-

Dawn: mm

Wybie too occupied by his panic never noticed Dawn was sampling his dish already, with a cute little sound of approval no less.

Dawn: This was pretty Good Wybie!

Dawn: You've gotten better for sure I'm proud of you.

Wybie was too awestruck to answer back. He could NOT believe she actually like the beast he put on that plate, but as long as she's smiling it didn't matter.

.

.

.

.

.

Oh shit those was not short at all LMAO hope they made sense?

I had to share this 

[zevrans-remade]

hey uhhh i had to delete some of your boyfriend's frames. yeah. he was over 10MB so i couldn't upload him. messed up his dimensions so he appeared blurry and stretched too. accidentally lowered his opacity to 0% so he became invisible and i lost him. i'm sorry, i'll gif you a new one

[actual-haise]

Sorry about your boyfriend. Yeah we tried to activate his effect and he got negated by a hand trap. Uh-huh he got sent to the Graveyard. We tried to get him out but they chained Called by the Grave. He got banished. Sorry.

[todtomatoes]

Yes.

[osmoticeel]

sorry i sent your boyfriend on the first transwarp test flight. yeah he begged me to go and gave me a sob story about his father. his dna is evolving at an unprecedented pace and his last words were something about pepperoni. sorry.

[pink-anonymous-person]

“Look Pim, I know it's our job to help this guy and everything, but I think this guy's a lost cause. He's obviously fixated on his crush, and there's no reasoning with that level of obsession. Why don't we just cut our losses and get out of here.”

Peter is sad after that rejection from Y/N at the Flower shop so it’s Charlie and Pim’s job to make him smile!

[disasterdemon]

I made another one of these. Im coping after rewatching episode 23 and 24 rn.