#youll never prove it >:]
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“Take my hand” pages 5-11
1 - day 2 - truth - 3
#nmweek23#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#i spent all yesterday shading and lettering these your boy is so tired BUT IT WAS WORTH IT#in which i cram way too much into way too little and yet way too many pages for a single day#my sincerest apologies to them on their day but i will make it up to them i PROMISE#‘prove it’ you’ll NEVER GUESS what happens next :^))))) (<-guy who is extremely predictable)#phoenix is so strong because if miles looked at me like that i’d be going crazy and im like a known enemy of edgeworth#see you guys in like 5-7 business days on part 3 o7#fan art#aa#fan comic#rendevok#OH OH ALSO there’s like a whole fucking essay i could write about these pages esp wrt light and also The Hands but youll have to ask for it#just know that if you see something… there was probably a reason for it!#ok thats it fr this time
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A Spiral Leitner book which just looks like a normal maths textbook for teenagers but none of the equations make any sense. They look like they’d work out fine, and anyone but the owner of the book can solve them easily, but to the owner none of them work out correctly. Eventually the owner is driven mad because god fucking dammit none of these questions are answerable, they have an overdue assignment and they cannot for the life of them figure out where they’re going wrong.
To feed off of victims, the book replaces struggling kids normal maths books with itself. Eventually the book causes the owner to read every question wrong, not just the maths ones within its pages. The child’s grades have plummeted and all hope for their future have been lost.
Can also have some Eye elements ‘cause the student can feel all the other kids judging them when they get every single question wrong, even the really easy ones. Even the teachers are getting angry at them for not being able to do the most basic equations, and their parents are starting to act like their child has some sort of mental disability. This feeling of being judging and being thought of as inferior leads the owner of the book to detest all their peers and academics in general. They stop hanging out with their friends because they can see the way they smirk and roll their eyes when they get yet another thing wrong. They no longer do their homework or classwork, instead skipping school entirely, causing a rift to come between them and their parents as their parents attempt to force them to attend school but they always find a way to escape, and suddenly boom they’re completely isolated, bringing the Lonely into play, as the owner of the Leitner gives up on human contact entirely because why try when everyone will always think they’re a braindead failure?
Growing into adulthood, the owner’s already marked by three of Smirke’s Fourteen. Their life was over before it ever truly began.
#I spent way too long on this#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#tma#tma podcast#the spiral#the eye#the lonely#leitner books#*laughs in evil genius*#am I projecting a little here?#maybe maybe not#youll never prove it >:]#*cackles in mentally ill struggling academically teenager*
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Been thinking about Marshall and Lime, and im not sure if perhaps you havent already mentioned it:
Does being a white or black canvas doesnt make them part of a magic community by default/at birth?? (Putting aside the special force smth of m34, and any witches and guilds and etc.)
thats a good question!!! its a bit of a gray area (ba dum ts 🥁), in my head i always considered "being a member of the magic community" as having something that makes you like. not a normal human. like having some kind of magic or being a spirit/monster/cryptid/etc!!
for black and white canvases, theres nothing inherently special about them besides the level of their magic resistance..,,everyone has some level of resistance, they are just the most extreme levels, but i dont think having it is considered any kind of special magic power or sets you too far apart from other humans!!
for a black canvas its being a part of a guild/the m-34th is what makes you part of the magic community!! the m-34th has nothing inherently magic but since they involve themselves so much in police-ing the magic community they are by and large considered a part of it
for a white canvas its actually incredibly hard to get involved with the magic community i feel... mostly for this reason: a lot of the community hides behind some kind of masking spell-- witches use the mob spell, the merchant uses...something, sulluvan only appears to those who he wants to, but all of it has its roots in "using magic to conceal yourself from the world," and the less resistance you have the less you're able to break from that!! essentially, a white canvas is the most magic-gullible type LOL!! contrast this to a black canvas where you couldnt use a masking spell around them if you tried your best, theyd see right through it
im actually not sure how marshall even ends up being part of the m-34th and gets involved anyway...his pipeline into the magic community must have been someone directly pulling him in and getting him straight to the m-34th because theres no way he couldve gotten in organically the way lime did, he would just be going about his merry way...
#but anyway!!! i never considered them organically a part of the magic community!!#good question though!!!#white canvases are so much more rare than black canvases#just because they either sponge up the illusion magic and dont question shit#or if they get involved they tend to die easy LOL#marshall operates on pure determination and probably spite#in a beta idea marshall has an older brother in the higher ranks of the m-34th and hes determined to be better than him no matter what#which is how he gets involved in the first place#they have a bad relationship#the kind of thing where its like (youll never be a part of this organization as a white canvas just go home and give up)#so he goes to great lengths to prove him wrong#finds a better big brother relationship with lime <3333#marshall must also be crazy smart to figure out ways to 1) get himself into the m-34th and 2) pass all their training and exams#while openly admitting he is a white canvas#and doing it faster than lime#while secretly managing to secure potions and using them without anyone finding out
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oh so the girlie who hates humans as a concept begins idolizing creatures that are literally fragments of the collective human psyche? okaaaaaaaay. 🙄
#luci is very complicated because she either sparks the deepest fucking vitriol in people or 'oh. oh girlie no.' with No in between. in text#the ones she Does spark vitriol in. is a little funny; to me; honestly. but i still need to work that out fully..#piktalk#pikocs#trying to hard to be 'better than humans' as a roundabout way of avoiding your fear of impermanence and oblivion huh?#twisting your jealousy of an idolized image of what you see in them into a contrarian desire to prove youre better than that huh?#the sickening knowledge youre hoping for something you can never have even if you Do get what you act like you want at the end huh?#you think you know what you want but thats something you could never really understand putting all your chips into avoiding a single thing.#of course you dont know what you want. all you are is a tangled avoidance of something you dont want to be.#something you dont want to be because its inherently tied to what you are from the beginning.#something you refuse to acknowledge because seeing it is a step away from letting it win.#of COURSE youre like that. GRISPING TH#well yes but also no but also yeah but nah but it is because it isnt a yes but its not a no but it Is a no bc it isnt a yes but it is.#if you keep saying it enough then youll override the knowledge you werent supposed to exist to begin with. just keep fighting urself girlie
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Day 30: Midnight Crew!!!!
(Anonymous request)
#weezer#blue album#homestuck#problem sleuth#midnight crew#spades slick#clubs deuce#diamonds droog#hearts boxcars#these are my favourite characters in the comic midnight crew is so rad#i hate a moral coward one who lacks a manly spark i do detest a man afraid to go home in the dark i always spend my evening where there’s w#oman wine and song but like a man i always bring my little wife along im a member of the midnight crew im a night owl and a wise bird too h#ome with the milk in the morning singing the same old song rise with moon go to bed with the sun early to bed and youll miss all the fun br#ing your wife to trouble it will never trouble you make her a member of the midnight crew the fun it never stops till dawn on happy old bro#adway so what’s the use of going home until the break of day now something confidential whisper not above a breath i once came home at 2am a#nd scared my wife to death chorus i never will forget the night i made six robbers run although i did not have a knife a blackjack or a gun#i proved myself a hero of a very high degree i ran for home and six of them were running after me CHORUS#make her a member of the midnight crew!!!!!!!
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this is exactly what i hate about myself
#i cant speak without feeling selfish#so many things i do afterwards especially tonight i feel cringe or shame at how i talk and sometimes it doesnt click instantly and i just#everybodys closer than me. everybody is irreplaceable. everybody is valued more. what do i have to offer. what can i do that proves im not#another character in their entire story#why am i so shallow? why cant i feel genuine emotions and when i do show them properly without the fear of vulnerability?#who is this person#why am i me? why do i exist? why cant i do anything right?#you say you love me but youll never love me because i dont know who i am and which side is real.#im stuck#but this isnt about me#vent#happy birthday#i love you a lot even if i cant process it correctly#i hope youre happy genuinely#and that kills me too
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One of my big compulsions is taking a fuck ton of screenshots Just In Case a piece of information is important in like 4 years and I can't remember it (sometimes the information is an instagram post that I might not remember later and of course needs to be recorded everywhere (I will Not be looking at that again)) so today is my transfer 16000 images off my phone admin day (woo)
Like yeah I never looked at any of them and they were completely irrelevant to my daily life, But what if I need them ✨️ later ✨️ (you'll see that the idea of Later is doing a lot of heavy lifting here) OR what if there's a vital piece of information in the mix somewhere that I'll lose forever if I delete them? So: onto the external hard drive they go
This is one of those cases where. Yeah. Ideally I wouldn't take 16000 screenshots in half a year. And YEAH ideally I'd just delete them and not transfer them somewhere else to never look at again. BUT at least I get a clean slate and I can maybe not mindlessly save everything for 2 seconds. It's like. Small wins? Progress. Yknow.
#rangnar rambles#i also use my tumblr drafts this way which is how i have probably 2000 drafts for this blog that are just? like me saving a post for 'later#and then theres too many in my drafts for me to even find *MY* drafts#i need to just hard reset the draft function bc its literally unusable for me#'matt this is all irrational and weird' by god. my irrational thoughts disorder makes me do weird shit? are you fr rn??? 😨😨#i get so stupidly in my own head and then i dont make progress towards Anything#even like a fun sideblog where i can actually yknow. post that 2k nightmare? i just cringe myself out like a dumbass 😔#i feel like ocd thoughts always sound lame out loud (and in my head to myself too)#like the Urgency doesnt come across#like in the moment i am Completely convinced that my national insurance number and bank deets are in there somewhere#and theres suddenly no way on earth i could ever find them again if i delete the picture. so to the hard drive they go#i Would go through that whole thing if i suddenly needed a screenshot from 2019 btw. like the crazy isnt theoretical#ive hallucinated gas leak smells before and woken up my flatmates bc i couldnt convince myself i was over reacting#its just cus the seasons have changed that everythings ramping up but omg its hard to do anything but spiral nowadays#thats a little dramatic but i am losing like. a quarter of the day to my ocd#its like. not great 😬#im not back to convincing myself i gave my dad cancer but i am not letting myself use half the kitchen again#but eh soo la voo we ball#HAH i checked my drafts after this and i was lowballing so hard#5.7k on this blog. 12k on my main 💀. its not funny but it kind of is#this is why youll never catch me running a queue#this is such a miserable post but i do feel the need to not let it sit in the drafts pile. to prove the point i guess 💀💀💀#'no one gives a shit this is your blog' 'oh my GOD WHAT IF PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT' <- omg shut upppp youre so embarassing 🙄#one more time for the gallery: i am like. aware that these feelings are irrational. like i am fine it just takes time for reality to kick in#ANYWAYS what was that who said that that was so weird im gonna go look at old romantic era paintings now#if tam is a screenshot fiend in the next fic u know what happened
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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I watched Stand by Me 2 and was pleasantly surprised by how not god awful it was, it was only okay though- it improved on what made the first so bad but it still remained to have terrible things. Couldn’t stand Doraemon and especially not adult Nobita, the ending was also so unnecessary and ruined the nice things of the film.
Suneo and Gian were the highlight of this one for real this time, they made me smile. So was the grandma stuff! However, this is once again the case of other Doraemon movies/specials having the same things but done better than this one.
#doraemon talk#STAND BY ME WILL NEVER BE 1999 NIGHT BEFORE A WEDDING THAT IS THE PERFECT VERSION OF THE STORY#THE BEATS THE ART THE CHARACTERIZATION STAND BY ME IS NOTHING COMPARED TO IT#AND ITS ALL DONE BETTER IN ONLY 26 MINS#literally just watch the old stuff and youll get a much better expirence#experience*#and adult nobita isnt such an obnoxious loser in it either shockingly enough#night before a wedding proves you can write him to be PERFECTLY likeable but still clumsy and forgetful#and that his relationship with shizuka can actually be written well#anyways this became a night before the wedding love post over my hatred for stand by me yay
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please do explain 😭 i dont keep up with proseka anymore but i keep seeing the most wild posts and im so curious….
ok so one of the people who started rad weekend, nagi, who an was REALLY close to An has been gone for around three years i think? and everyone, from her dad and nagi's brother who both were the group that did rad weekend with nagi AND the entirety of vivid street that an grew up with, have only told her that nagi is making music overseas. so APPARENTLY after vbs finally did their first event, taiga (nagis brother) decided to finally tell an that actually she passed away three years ago from cancer. i think it was nagi who told everyone not to tell an the truth although i have no idea why, and then when vbs and some of the other teens that are trying to surpass rad weekend were like haha youre joking right he like? challenged them to a rap battle? to prove to them theyll never suprass rad weekend? and basically absolutely crushed them (with the worlds ugliest song too) and now everyones demoralized and an's pissed off at everyone for lying to her and i think the people of vivid street were giving her shit too for being so upset
#thats as far as i know i havent gone thru the event just skimmed and from what ive seen other people say#i think rad weekend was nagis last event? like her send off?#so perhaps why taiga was like youll never surpass it bc its not meant to be surpassed#but it was certainly a choice to give some teenagers the most devastating news in the world#and then challenge them to a rap battle immediately after to prove a point that did not need proving at the moment#i mightve gotten some details wrong btw bc again i skimmed it but thats the basic idea#up til ep 4 of the event lmao#michi tag
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i feel like such a fucking idiot istg. my american lit class has a final exam that requires memorizing all of the books/poems studied this semester w authors names, dates and recognition if we're given a passage and i just fucking know i'm about to fail it. i have about an 85 going in, i've passed in some really good work this semester, i read EVERY SINGLE ASSIGNED READING, ON TIME, but because my brain isn't hardwired to sit down and fucking memorize 20+ different names titles and numbers i'm fucked! how the hell is this FAIR
#why is this 25% of my FUCKING GRADE!!#THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE its never going to be an applicable skill irl!!#ive already worked so fucking hard for this course! i know i know the material and i understood it all!!#if i was given the title author and date i could write the paper im supposed to write and i would fucking crush it#but no it has to be fucking memorization because thats the only thing that makes you smart#levi.txt#vent tw#i want to fucking hit something#and i cant even get any help because i cant prove theres anything wrong with my brain other than being a fucking idiot!#'oh you dont need a diagnosis anyway bc you dont NEED accommodations or medication! youll be fine' FUCK OFF#'oh it wont help because youre almost done' oh ok so bc ive been struggling for four fucking years already one more doesnt matter. got it#you cant have a learning disability if you get good grades everyone knows this :)))))) /s#if i even fucking have one. anyways#probably gonna delete this later im just deeply pissed off rn. so fucking unfair
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Like it is just the thing, okay. Nobody - and I do mean Nobody - believes that either side of y'all are "anti harassment". Y'all are setting your pfp as their faces with slurs because they said they don't ship what you do, you're Both sending rape threats to minors over whether or not they write what you want them to write. You're writing revenge porn of real life children because they did something you didn't like and sending it to them, and you get away with it because "it's how you cope".
You do all of this, then get mad when people say they don't want anything to do with y'all.
#and before yall go 'theyre not Actually ours' no. they are.#they use the same id as you they use the same discord serverse as you they reblog the same thing as you and have the same ideals as you.#youre mutuals with them you reblog their fics and their art and leave comments on all their stuff.#they are more often than not *directly* yours. and that scares you to admit that. so youll never do anything about it.#your reactions to these types of posts (often with the examples given) just prove that true.
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Absolutely shredded my voice today from scream crying in the car all the way home lmao
#today really is proving to me that even when I feel better and theres people there for me#that the things wrong with me ARE a burden on people and i am not going to ever be enough for someone in this regard#i will never ever be able to rid this sickness out of me. and its going to ruin even this relationship#and thats just a really hard thing to remember. that even if your partner genuinely cares youll still be too sick and too fucked up
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Apparently my historically non problematic ship has been deemed problematic by haters after like 5 years due to reasons that no non-american (non Americans that don't hang out in majority western crowds) (plus me) would understand on the world wide web
#i cant believe tumblr said no race mixing in the year of the lord 2024#lmao tho. its never so deep that you become accidentally racist trying to prove youre not racist over a cartoon ship that aint even canon#i believe in the good in everyone against my will so im sure these people mean well#but damn yall fucking cringe as hell for that#im sure deep down they dont believe different races deserve different treatment.#or if they do they dont mean harm. but damn.#given all that. dawg. you cant accidentally say shit like that or youll come off wrong to someone#just say you hate the ship and be done with it#no activism justification required. be a hater for the sake of hating. be free
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i love internet hygiene olympics i just saw someone saying youre gross if you dont shower with a washcloth/net/whatever every time bcus your hands can't clean dead skin and you need to exfoliate to clean it like girl what makes you think you should exfoliate every single day are you insane what
#if you dont shower on acid youre nasty and your pussy stinks cause youll never be fully rid of bacteria otherwise#like cmon#ppl in the comments like some of you guys are telling on yourselves eeeew#what do yall mean yall wash your genitals w your h- hands 🤢🤢🤢🤢#bro calm down#rip to their skin also like wdym exfoliate every day#nooo dont go trying to prove to random people on the internet that you're clean youre so sexy aha#like baby i swear you dont need to prove yourself or shame others to prove that youre not like them youre fineeee#paulo freire come here#Tragic! This Man’s Jawline Is Nice Because He Talks a Lot
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help the kids at school found out i drew sailor gaud and i don't know how to react to things in general what is going on what do i do
#girl help i have to find my art to prove it was my art#and youll never believe this! the file was corrupted!#so i had to find the post with the art in it instead#sometimes i even forget i managed to become marginally famous through this#moral of the story never let your art files get corrupted. never#god i love sped schools#its like tumblr and twitter fused together and then became reality#i cant explain it any better than that so let it suffice to say. its wild
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