#youd think id learn by now
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3am bpd witchcraft episodes kinda go hard
#currently bumping my current existential crisis playlist if anyones interested ill drop the link😌#lost all my friends#my housing#and over half my shit in a matter of a month (and maybe like a half)#psa to my bpd besties#NEVER date another borderline for the love of god#youd think id learn by now smfh#just bpd things#sleep token#bad omens#placebo#depeche mode#the smiths#mars volta#the cure#playlist#actually bpd#borderline thoughts#witchblr#witchcraft#not me doing spells to make /him/ come back oops#i literally said i was absolutely done with dating but.......👀#LISTEN he wasnt intentionally bad to me i fp'd him so fucking hard i couldnt see that we were literally just fwbs#and thats on mental illness babey#but /him/👀#him sir thats my husband#i am absolutely losing my mind
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yep im never staying up past 10:30 ever again everything sucks past 11
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really sorry to bedivere enjoyers bc i’ve started writing an outline for my retelling and your guy is. not well in the intro.
#i swear it’s not gonna be overly angsty the whole time. i swear.#they WILL be allowed to have fun#but angst is needed.#casually throwing him in the blender first tho before hes allowed to have fun and be gay#also. hey. you reading this. if you see this and reply or send me an arthurian character i will draw a silly doodle of them in the context#of my retelling#im so sorry if this doesnt make sense guys im so high#the drugs i use to sleep and. not be an insane person. are REALLY strong if i havent eaten.#youd think id learn by now to eat before hand!!!!!!!!!!! but im tragically very stupid!!
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heartbreaking: local rat trusted someone it really should not have
#squeaking#“I hate him” after i was their froend and supported them#and hung out with them and tried to keep them safe when they needed it#But also didnt baby them because im.not their dad and i respect their autonomy#And bought them food and shit and painted patches with them#whatever. Thats what i get! Thats always what i get#Youd think id have learned my lesson by now but noooooo#negative
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i eat burger king onion rings. i get sick. i eat burger king onion rings. i get sick. i eat burger king onion rings. i get sick. i eat burger king onion rings. i get sick. i eat
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So it turns out maybe it's not a good idea to have a horny phone call with a stranger from France you met the same day who found you through Instagram
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girl what
#youd think id learn after so many months how th playtime curve skyrockets And Yet#aahh.. much t twirl around but i dont know if i will. alas. whos to say. back at it now#piktalk
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Every couple months I turn into a sloth and struggle to stay awake or have any energy or motivation to do anything. Then I remember it's been a hot minute since I took my vitamins/supplements and after like two days of remembering I spring back to life and have so much energy again
#youd think id have learned by now that will fix the issue#to be fair i did work it out a lil faster this time around#i should probably set some sort of alarm or something to remind me#i cant get over how night and day i feel afterwards#im a numpty
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all this talk about beautiful princesses with disorders but which one of you is gonna buy me zoloft. princess needs his ssris
#not my ass having a genetic panic disorder#youd really think id learn and stop staying up late#alas#also to be clear i do not identify in any particular way with the word princess#we are fleeting strangers in the street#touching but for a brief moment for this textpost before going our separate ways#anyway. the negative effects of my sertraline began to outweigh the positives#except that now i remember The Horrors. i will however perservere
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i was so miffed two weeks ago when no one seemed to be getting as hype as me about the enormous victory that was birth control pills without a prescription and now 20k notes in i can sincerely say that it has brought some of the most vile, misguided, hateful people into my sphere of awareness
#flickerthoughts#fucking foul but i am still celebrating#anyways youd think id learned by now but. we stay stupid.
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Pet peeves number 430
#Dunno why I always expect there to be Actual Butch/masc characters in mainstream anime. Youd think id have learned my lesson by now#They dont even have short hair. They dont even have a ...#They dont even a voice that isnt so high pitched that it makes dogs bark#Also anytime theres a plot that goes 'woah! The tomboy acts girly!'im considering that a crime against peace and the world and humanity and
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i loooove languages i love learning new alphabets i love the feeling of accomplishment and deep satisfaction of making concrete progress i love puzzles and challenges i love arabic
#honestly i have no idea whats pushing me to do this#but for the past couple months ive been doing duolingo arabic#because it hit me how vital communication is and how even with mandarin and spanish i cant communicate with so many people#it freaked me out even though its unlikely to ever actually affect me#so. duolingo arabic#also my friends mom speaks farsi to her so she encouraged me to do it#i started korean too and youd think id be more motivated to learn that because so many of my friends speak korean#but i just like. fell in love with arabic for reasons beyond my comprehension#and ive been keeping it up?? i really love learning it for some reason#it looks beautiful but also just. idk!!#who knows#im just starting to learn Words now and it hit me how much ive learned#personal log#shifttalks#<- linguistics/languages posts anyone?
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You know as a horror fan "cultural Christianity" is such a useful term because as an atheist as well as a horror fan and a fan of haunted house stuff if it's done well I very, very quickly noticed how many horror movies are Christian propaganda. So few horror movies involving religion (which is a shocking amount of them btw) pick any religion that's not Christianity to center itself around and when they do that religion is bad and evil, not the cause of evil and the savior from it (because the demons may be Christian, but God and the bible are also the solutions in a way other religions aren't granted. Bonus points if it's an indigenous religion being portrayed as Evil and Bad).
Pretty much any exceptions I can think of to that rule use Judaism and the Holocaust as a backdrop and never in like a normal, the Holocaust is horrible way it's always playing on myths of Nazi Germany's experimentation on the Jewish population. Which I find highly troubling and disturbing, but regardless nothing like being a horror fan to convince you of cultural Christianity because no other genre leans on religion as a plot device so much unless it's straight up a Christian movie for a Christian audience using Christianity as it's main theme and through line.
#winters ramblings#side note i ALWAYS hear about how we learned SO MUCH about medicine and the body from nazi Germany and i KNOW that has to be#at least SOMEWHAT untrue because the methodologies nazis would have used in CONCENTRATION CAMPS do not seem#like theyd yeild USEFUL information about anything. people criticize studies now for being overly populated with undergrads#because THAT skews your results theres NO WAY the camps had conditions good enough to yeild useful information#and theres NO FUCKING WAY IN ALL HELL that nazis had good enough methodologies and treatments of their PRISONERS#to be getting any result worth using. maybe we learned a lot on how to TORTURE people but medical sciences??#i think body snatchers orobably taught us a lot LOT more than the fucked up things the nazis did to the jewish population#and i find it DEEPLY DEEPLY troubling that we seem to remember the nazis like the NAZIS want us to remember them#and not as the scum of the earth they were- they werent useful DOCTORS even if there were olenty of useful engineers but they werent good#engineers BECAUSE they were nazis they were just good at their jobs WHY do we attribute their intelligence to BEING A NAZI#if anything thats proof all their smart at is building shit but anyway something tells me nazi germany didnt teach us NEAR#as much about medical anything as the myths lead us all to believe and WHY are we myth making about FUCKING NAZIS#time to start myth making the jewish people who survived or did uprisings or literally ANYTHING but the fucking nazis#now on the flipside as a horror fan Christianity is SO BAKED IN to how certian genres of horror run#if you had a haunted house movie WITHOUT Christianity id be genuinely surprised. if it wasnt at least Judaism with Weird Holocaust shit#id be even MORE surprised. ive never seen a weesterm horror flick that centered around like. Sikh people or even Muslims#and youd think being an abrahamic religion Muslims would make the cut but no even THEY get shunted because brown#like you CANNOT convince me culture Christianity doesnt exist because as an athiest horror fan BOY do i know thats not true#its actually one of my LEAST favorite things about the horror genre and WHY i have a hard time with haunted house movies#sure i LOVE james wans work but its STILL uses Christianity as a plot device and i HATE Christianity in my horror cheerios#plus you got shows like supernatural who LITERALLY wrote a show of bible fanfiction and uts very clear they never read the bible#i know this because i have a good friend who is religious and even CHRISTIANS find the Christianity in that show baffling and overbearing#and hilariously inaccurate but still lmao. anyway cultural Christianity is 100% a thing as an athiest its IMPOSSIBLE not to notice#so i find it REALLY WEIRD that athiests deny its existence as if weve not been victims of it out whole lives#and religious people who arent Christian too!! we should team up to beat the christians back to where they should be!!#just as invisible as the rest of us OR the rest of us just as visible as christians!!
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#im gonna fucking kill myself im so fucking angry#i gotta go to work in like 30 minutes and im so fuckin pissed off at a video game#baldurs gate has gotten more auto saves since the game launched but you what doesnt fucking autosave?#the entire fucking gauntlet of shar apparently#i killed the orthon explored the whole fucking temple got all the way to the shadowfell and remembered i forgot the halsin shit#so i went back to do that#and lost that stupid fight and apparently at no point in that like entire hour and a half did anything save#and im too fucking stupid to save it on my own#so now i gotta redo everything#im so fucking pissed#cause the gauntlet of shar is actively my least favorite part of the game cause its boring and annoying and more importantly#this isnt the first fucking time ive had to do this#ive had game crashes and other fuckups that have made me redo that entire area#multiple times#youd think id fucking learn my god damn lesson but no#im so angry right now how am i supposed to go to work like this#wasted my fuckin morning#i hate video games
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Towards the end of "Cloudbusting" by Kate Bush there's a background noise that sounds exactly like my cat's high pitched whine when she's being bratty. And it always fools me. I always end up taking out an earbud and looking around for Tabby to see wtf she's doing.
#it just happened again#and tabby is innocently sleeping behind me lol#youd think id learn by now but nope
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[DM]
@amymone
Amymone . Amy . Bestie . My beloved friend . My silly pal . My buddy friend chum pal friend pal . ill get you snackies if you tell me if i get to smooch lea And isa :3
#i could just wait but also . im impatient ahdhshhfhd#you'd think with me being ancient as fuck id have learned patience by now but youd be wrong
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