#im a numpty

[call-me-pup2]

Every couple months I turn into a sloth and struggle to stay awake or have any energy or motivation to do anything. Then I remember it's been a hot minute since I took my vitamins/supplements and after like two days of remembering I spring back to life and have so much energy again

[bonefall]

Nighthearts family is tigerkin mom and firekin nature spirit dad. I love it.

(Slaps the roof of the Finch/Night twins)

These bad boys can fit so much legacy in them

[rewritingcanon]

noooo way we gotta throw the whole security council away this shit is not working no more 💀

[mythawolf]

I did it again. I bought fast pass episodes on Señorita Cometa.

[ellecdc]

OMGOMGOMGOGM MAY I PLEASE REQUEST THIS WITH LIKE READER AND LILY AND READER CAN BE PAIRED WITH WOLFSTAR MAYBE AND SO LILY AND READER R GOING CRAZY RIGHT BUT THEN ALSO JAMES AND SIRIUS R GOING BALLISTIC AND REMUS IS JS LIKE......yeah im not gna catch a break my entire life

you may request that! but also I threw in an extra character for you <3

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who tell jegulily they're pregnant {too} [662 words]

CW: pregnancy fic, background jegulily, chaos and friendship, Remus and Regulus only pretend they don't love each other and their partners

Remus released the breath he’d been holding and felt something unclench in his being when he finally heard happy squealing.

You and Sirius both knew Remus would have liked to wait just a little bit longer to start telling people you were pregnant, and for the most part, you were. But the only people the two of you couldn’t stand not sharing the news with was, of course, James (Sirius) & Lily (you). And, well, Remus didn’t mind (his own best friend, mind you) Regulus knowing too if that meant the two of you each got to tell your person. 

It was under the guise of a small housewarming party for James, Regulus, and Lily who moved into a new flat a mere five-to-seven minute walk from the lot of you. It was just the two partnerships in attendance; intimate, Lily had called it. 

It was nearing the holidays, so it wasn’t completely absurd for you to show up with a small gift bag in your hand, Sirius and Remus bringing a bottle of wine that only the three of you knew you wouldn’t be sharing.

You and Lily had stepped out onto the small balcony that overlooked the cobblestone streets below, and Remus fought every urge to bring you a blanket (or three); your little gift bag in hand. 

A few minutes later, there was squealing.

Remus made eye contact with Sirius across the table then who shared a knowing and slightly emotional smile with his boyfriend, but it was James who laughed and spoke up first.

“She must have shared the good news.”

Sirius and Remus chuckled before they really comprehended what James had just said. 

“Wait, what?” Sirius asked, and Regulus snorted at him, though he was sharing an equally knowing yet emotional smile with James. 

The sliding door to the balcony was flung open unceremoniously as the two of you came careening in without bothering to shut it behind you. The boys all stood from the hightop table, ready to partake in the celebration - James even opening up his arms in wait for a hug from either one of you - only for both of you to nearly slip in your socks on the hardwood flooring of their new flat as you veered the corner and took off down the hall. 

The men stared down the hall where the two of you had disappeared; no sooner did they hear a cabinet door shut did more squealing start up again. 

“What-” Regulus started, but Sirius cupped his hands over his mouth.

“No way!” 

You and Lily appeared in the kitchen then; flushed, eyes glassy and excited, and simply beaming at the group. 

“We’re pregnant.” The two of you chorused.

“Well…I hardly think you had anything to do with it, Y/N.” Regulus began skeptically, earning him a swat up the back of the head from Sirius.

“She means we’re pregnant too, numpty.”

“TOO!?” James shrieked, basically shoving Lily (his pregnant partner) out from where he’d yanked her under his arm to bodily throw himself at his best mate. “You’re pregnant too!?”

“Yes! Oh my God! We’re going to have tiny built in best friends!” Sirius cheered as he and James all but jumped up and down in each other’s arms.

Remus looked over to see you and Lily in a similarly aggressive embrace; both with tears down your faces as you laughed and squealed and congratulated each other with sentences that didn’t exactly sound like a comprehensible language to Remus but the two of you seemed to understand just fine.

He looked over at Regulus who was warily taking in the sight before him as well, seeming to come to the same conclusion as Remus.

“Oh dear god, what have we done?” He whispered out in one breath.

Remus took a steadying breath as he looked back to his two partners; both with their person’s, each of their person’a with them. “We might have made a terrible, terrible, lovely, wonderful, adorable mistake.”

[leonardperreault]

Imagine if carter fractured her foot or something at home with the boys and then she comes back to nj and work and Nico is just like ! What?

she trips over one of lukes rogue shoes that she definetly asked him to put on the rack like three times,

"ow!" carter screams, "ow fuck!" she cries,

"carter are you ok?" jack asks running into the hallway,

"no fuck!" she yells, "fuck its broken!" jack's eyes widen,

"shit what do i do?" he asks as he kneels down next to her,

"take me to the hospital you numpty,"

and she fractured her ankle and is in a boot and on crutches and after a week of rest she goes back to devils practice just to do some check ins,

"what the hell happened?" nico asks as he walks into her office while shes examining dawsons knee,

"im in session nico," she says, "but its just a fracture, now go because this is technically against hippa,"

[spoopdeedoop]

hi i have some disorganized thoughts/hcs abt the found family human doctor au

(one of the thoughts being i should really give it a better name. another being YES this is only the nuwho doctors atm bc that's the only series i've watched so far apologies. if i ever get around to watching classic who i will add them trust)

BEHOLD my random, not at all in-depth headcanons

nine is the only one with a car out of all of them. they all keep bugging him to drive/pick them up from places -- he has mixed feelings about being the assigned taxi driver

both twelve and eleven are teachers -- college professor and preschool teacher respectively. twelve's students love them because he will say the most stupid, hilarious shit with a straight face without even knowing and eleven's students love him because he is the only teacher at the school that will dance with them during musical chairs (he doesn't even play the game. he just dances)

i want to make one of them an actual doctor but i don't think any of them could handle it unfortunately

they all share an an apartment flat on the same level -- nine, twelve and fifteen live in one room, ten, eleven and thirteen live in the one across from them. of course there are other people in the building too but they're all used to the strange loud hyperactivity of that particular flat. i think i'm using the right terminology here. yall know what im talking about

(i'm so tempted to make some companions be their neighbors)

nine and ten are the most insomniac of all of them, so they're used to bumping each other in the dead of night on their way to raid each other's respective fridges or something. very rarely thirteen will join them and they're like "WELL FANCY SEEING YOU HERE"

twelve does sleep, but like. he's nocturnal

eleven and ten hate each other in a sibling kind of way (see: day of the doctor). they are constantly sending each other death threats or tripping each other over. everyone is sick of it

sometimes when they're out shopping you'll hear ten yell "GET OUT OF THE FROZEN FOOD YOU NUMPTY WE ARE NOT BUYING FISH FINGERS" over the aisles and you'll hear eleven whine "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH" back

(if you're lucky you'll be able to catch fifteen mumble "why did we put them in the same apartment. are we asking for an eviction notice")

eventually eleven will pick a random stray cat off the side of the road, take her home, and name her bowtie, which is a stupid name, so everyone just defaults to calling her kitty

kitty's favourite person is twelve, to eleven's absolute despair

(my original idea for this was to initially have ten hate the idea of living with a cat, since he's stated full on in the show that he doesn't like cats, but apparently there is some very obscure doctor who comic run in which he falls into a depressive spiral and adopts a cat whom he names rose-the-cat, so he might actually like cats idk?)

anyway ten hates her until he doesn't lmao. he vents to her when there's no one else home and she will Stare at him back and it is a very nice friendship

kitty and nine watch shitty romcom together

they have a joint groupchat together -- half of it is just thirteen and fifteen assigning everyone outfits they find on pinterest and the other half is eleven asking where everyone went (he keeps getting lost when they go out)

nine doesn't know how to download pictures off the internet and so resorts to manually editing memes together to send to the groupchat and everyone's like "girl that's so much more effort........."

(yes he doesn't know how to press save image to camera roll but he knows how to use a photo editor flawlessly. such is the logic of the idiocy of the doctors)

eleven and thirteen get along very well i think. they're the only two of the group to play video games and so they bond over that. they also have ridiculously similar clothing taste

sometimes they'll succeed in getting fifteen to play pokemon with them and then they'll proceed to not see him until the next day when he comes out of his room and goes "you didn't tell me plusle couldn't evolve i've been levelling it up all fucking night"

friday is assigned movie night (it's always big hero 6)

eleven is the only one to actively seek out physical affection, usually really abruptly like clinging to thirteen's back as she passes him in the hall or bapping ten with the palm of his hand until he sighs and gives him a hug. he does expect a platonic kiss on the forehead from anyone before he goes to bed and will complain if he doesn't get one

anyway thats it i'm sick in the head and really sad. if this keeps up i may be forced to actually write a fic

[agendabymooner]

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 !!! 𝐥𝐧𝟒 — 𝐭𝐰𝐨

☼ LANDO NORRIS RETWEETED

chapter summary: lando norris is beginning to show his true colours after honey-sue announced her third album release and her participation in a special event occurring in three months — maybe he’s just excited to see her during the monaco gp?

OR f1 fans are noticing that his twitter timeline is being taken over by posts about the famous british youtuber/musician.

content warning: use of explicit language, ofc’s discography is based on lana del rey’s albums and songs, insta + twitter posts, mentions of cigarette + alcohol consumption, mentions anxiety, short jokes, “liked by pierre gasly”

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

tagged sidemen

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, pierregasly

chrismd oh geez can’t wait to share lockers with you i guess 🤥

suemehoney god forbid i’d actually see some kneecaps on you, dixon 😳

user1 stop violating him oh my god 🫣😩

stephentries_ finally 🙃 the better lewis playing for the match liked by suemehoney

zerkaa one of the boooooyz 😩💪 liked by suemehoney

bambinobecky my favourite pick me 😭🫡 liked by suemehoney

suemehoney actually give me a kiss plz 🥵

user2 “liked by landonorris” 💀

user3 honey is officially a victim of “liked by pierregasly” 😭😭😭🫡

user4 what’re these f1 people doing in honey’s insta??? 😳

user5 didn’t mean to invade y’all— but we couldn’t contain lando and pierre in the horny jail so we had to check out what’s the fuss ourselves

user4 understood

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, miniminter

user1 OKAY SERVE SIS SERVE

user2 i’ll kiss you in the mouth if you do the spoon necklace again 😩

ksi 😭😭 liked by suemehoney

wroetoshaw i’ll be the first to cry when it first come out liked by suemehoney

r0sielewis 🥵 liked by suemehoney

niko they better play this at my funeral liked by suemehoney

suemehoney i’ll even dj it for you neeko 😚🤭

user3 yo these f1 drivers are wiiiiild 😭

user4 “liked by landonorris” 💀

user5 “liked by pierregasly” 😅 can’t believe this shit

user6 can’t even have shit in this economy

HONEY HONEY

william ya shit! who is this man??? he goes on to say that this lunch is important but he isn’t here??? tf am i doing here? i could be doing something else!

WILLIAM²

honey calm down m8 😅 lando said he’ll be here in five minutes that’s what max said at least why don’t you grab some alcohol

HAROLDINHO

and get her pissed in monaco at 1 in the afternoon? are you insane? do you want to die?

WILLIAM²

allow it? it’s her vacation harold— let her drink if she wants to drink

HONEY HONEY

i took my anxiety meds this morning you fuckin numpty 😭 if i drink now it’ll be nothing but a trip to the hospital for me

WILLIAM²

right. shit sorry. maybe take some breather? filly’s more than willing to walk around with you before we order. i’ll talk to max about lando 🙏 the idiot isn’t always this late so this is unusual

HONEY HONEY

you better 😐 i should’ve brought cigarettes

HAROLDINHO

shut your mouth. if i see a single stick i’m shoving it down your throat.

HONEY HONEY

oh fuck off. you’ve had worse than nicotine. bitch.

MAX 😚

m8 🤠 the more time you spend in front of a mirror the more time you lose with your lover girl

LANDO 🥵

fuck off im nervous

MAX 😚

lad 😭 she’s not going to bite you. she doesn’t even want to talk to people what makes you think she’d want to deliberately talk to you?

LANDO 🥵

that’s even worse 😭😭 i’m omw. seriously. i just need to make sure i look decent enough 🙄

MAX 😚

you might have to do some explaining to w2s about you retweeting posts about his sister though 😅 the whole “lando norris retweeted” spiel is becoming a trend and uh it’s not a good look for you

LANDO 🥵

MAX FOR FUCKS SAKE!

[natdafat]

So, we are all familiar with the story of the journey to the West, and how could we not know and recognise its most famous character, sun wukong

Okay, two things one im bloody numpty and secondly, the version of the story I had didn't have pictures. So before lego monkey kid came out and made it so whenever I think of jttw my brain thinks this

I had no idea what wukong properly looked like and well.. it wasn't till last year, did I think

'Huh, maybe wukong didn't look like a normal monkey'

That's right for nearly a decade whenever I pictured wukong in my head, weather if their fighting or goofing around. I pictured them looking like this. Just a regular rock monkey.

It made sense to me, okay

[call-me-pup2]

would you be into hearing someone wank over you?

Are we talking literally voice recordings type hear - if so no

Or as in someone messaging to say 'hey this one goes out to you boo' - if yes it's sort of fun to know I'm hot enough for people to think like that about me

[inspector-gina-lestrade]

What are your favourite bits of cockney rhyming slang?

cor luv a duck, me loafs all roley poley, innit. the done an dustin cove wot wos me ol china when the rest were jus plates o' meat, e told me e knows ill do the tight ring an all o' that. an wot do i go an do? proper dogs, thats wot. ive done 'im up a kipper an e's proper brown bread wiv me. got 'is ol plate in a jam tart too, cos e's up and turned right looney at 'im bout our jiggery-pokery. ad a proper slangin match an i clocked 'im gettin the needle bout 'im an me bein all china. took the mick sumfin fierce, i did. shouldnt 'ave stuck me beak in, like a numpty, innit.

on top o' that, theres them dodgers tryna jimmy me over in the sticks, an the grims gonna throw a barney, go all cockles an mussels at me fer leggin it wiv the saucy wivout 'is pokey.

an the duke o' kent on me jail clobber, that blasted three score mile, wot a load o' cobblers awls. its all too rum innit, made me finger an thumb, scarpered fore i could twig it. wot if it wos me only song an dance…?

[thiccowlladylife]

Hyperbole. Hyperbole. HYPERBOLE.

That's what I was using in my first post. So I honestly think all the other characters should eat razors or shit? No, of course not, because I care too little about them/the show, and they're all fictional, and I'm not going to invest that many emotions into fictional characters, let alone fictional characters I don't personally enjoy.

You're also assigning to me a lot of maliciousness that I simply don't have. I learn from my mistakes just fine, and I don't need to put others down to lift myself up--I'm confident in myself. But again, you are ascribing to me quite the cruel and spiteful characterization, based on, what? Two posts I've made thus far? You've projected a lot of nastiness onto me. You've assumed a lot about me. And you know what they say about assumptions.

You don't know me, I don't know you. You've projected a lot of nastiness onto me which I could easily accuse you of having in your response. You came into my post with a lot of hostility and have thus far insulted me and my tastes (perhaps take a moment to ponder as to why such 'non-characters' like Octavia and my dear thicc lady are someone's favorite instead?). Forgive me for being just as scathing and snarky in response, but I don't enjoy you immediately dragging me into some sort of drama over an innane and ultimately trivial post.

Chill out. This is meant to be a critical blog, yes, but it's supposed to be light and fun! Stick around and perhaps wait for more posts from me before making such hasty leaps of assumptions towards my character. Or, barring your impatience and too differing tastes, block me and move on. But I'm disengaging from this.

As you so sardonically put it, "goodnight."

FIRST POST FIRST POST FIRST POST

...

Anywho, Octavia is the only valid character in Helluva Boss and everyone else can go eat a bag of razor blades 🙃

[paintedbutton]

Find Five Lines Tag

@writernopal tagged me in this fun little tag, and I think I can find all of these in Shanghaied now, so that's what we'll be searching through. :)

A line where someone discovers something

Femi glanced up at him. “You better not,” he agreed, and there was no humour in his voice. “Mary will throw you overboard. And I won’t stop her again.” Again. Like he’d done it before. Like he’d saved George without George even knowing. He swallowed. “I won’t.” It felt more like a vow than a promise.

A line with someone's hair color

He’d seen Femi smile. Femi smiled all the time, George could tell already. But the one he wore right then felt … truer than the other ones. Softer. George had to be as red as his hair at this point.

A line quickly giving someone's backstory

“Oh!” Crow perked up. It rolled through her like a wave, like she was suddenly happy. If she’d been a dog, her tail would have wagged. “My Da used to sail with Mary. He … didn’t make it home, one time. Mary came and told us, all grave and towering like she is. And I asked her if I could go instead. Look for him, you know. She told me the sea had ‘im now, and I said I could talk the sea out of that if I had to. Ma said absolutely not, so Mary an’ I made a deal. If I still wanted, in two years’ time, she’d take me on. And here I am. Still learning to talk to the sea, but …”

A line with a funny phrasing

“Mary says you’re an ass. Femi says you’re just angry and a numpty. Barn says we all talk too much. What do you say?” “Uh …” He didn’t think he was an ass. Not usually. He’d made an ass out of himself, mind, but then he had been deceived and kidnapped. He blinked at her. Crow nodded to herself. “Definitely a numpty,” she decided.

A line describing food or drink

A good sign for what, George wanted to ask, but Femi offered him the spoon. The chowder he’d brought, the one that George felt fair to say they’d made together, was only lukewarm at this point. It still tasted wonderful to George’s empty stomach.

(Gently) Tagging: @addomfarm-ogf-updates , @tabswrites , @samwellwinchesterthebrave and leaving an open tag for anyone that wants to do this!

Your lines will be:

A line where a character is wearing something fancy

A line where something unlucky happens

A line about family

A line with a significant colour

A line that you love

[caps-clever-girl]

Humphrey/captain and Humphrey/Sophie if you’re willing for the ship ask! - thelastplantagenet ✨

OUGH SORRY THIS IS SO LATE I HAD WORK ALL WEEK!!!!!!!! I am SO happy i got these 2 ships you know me so well T dsjdhfkjs <3

These two…… THESE TWO. I have so many feelings about humphrey and sophie i will literally take these two in any way shape or form. I especially love that their canon interactions leaves a LOT of ambiguity and its up to fans to interpret them in any way they like - and i personally like all interpretations. Did they actually try at some point? Who knows. I like if they did or if they didn’t. the arrangement of their marriage, the plot and language barriers put a LOT of strain on them, and of course just the general times and climate. In canon, that could have destroyed any chance of them liking each other more than platonically (or even destroyed platonic chances) but equally it could have just been a barrier that either one - or both - fought to get past. Humphrey consistently tried to make her comfortable despite the situation, tried to spend time with her and tried to get her things to make her happy. Even though he seems to recognise that she wants nothing to do with him / hates him, he strives for some kind of amicability. And i love that sophie does seem to appreciate this. She appreciates him, that he’s at least nice and hes trying, and that can happen regardless of whether she is in love with him or not. And even if she did just straight up fucking hate him i can get behind that too lol, the angst these two create is delicious. i the idiots turned around today and said “humphrey and sophie were never a thing” id be just as happy as if they said “oh yeah they were sooo pining for eachother they just never managed a confession” because both options create such different stories and i love them both! their ambiguity just means we can have them any way we want, and i want ALL THE WAYS! I like them loving eachother. I like them being besties. I like them hating eachother. I like them one-sided. These two really have it all <3

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!! MY BOYS MY BOYS MY BOOOOYS!!!!! You know FINE WELL how much i adore these two numpties. Humphrey just wants somebody to love, and someone that loves him back. He’s had a lonely life, and its my personal headcanon that along with that he is very touch starved - which is not helped by his decapitated state in teh afterlife either. And we all know how lonely cap is, and likely was in his life as well. I think Humphrey was the sprt of man who kept to his vows even if Sophie did (or didnt) hate him/go near him, and cap didnt even know he was gay until after he died. He might have tried to blend in and try something with women, or he might not have, but either way i dont think he spent his young adulthood with much contact either so i think the pair of them are touch starved and it would be nice for them to fulfil that with each other: someone who understands. Also i think you’ve said its likely humphrey participated in war in his time, or at least had knowledge of it? Which is something none of the other ghosts have, so i think cap would like knowing someone who experienced something similar to his own life. I think humphs personality would suit Cap incredibly well. Humph is gentle and caring, and very understanding - which to me, is something cap needs. But at the same time, humph is a sassy fuckin boy. He has a spine and if Cap fucks up or is being an ass humphrey will tell him. (“Got fed up of you being a prat?”) Humphrey would be happy to indulge in Cap’s enjoyment of nature and animals as well. Humph gets left in the house or chucked outside a lot without much way to see any of it, so it would be nice if Cap took him on a patrol and Humphrey was actually able to see it all properly. God man something about these two just clicks with me im so goddamn bonkers about them. Honestly one of my fave ghosts ships out there. ALSO THEIR SHIP NAME IS FUCKING “DE-CAP-ITATION” SO. ITS LITERALLY FATE!!!!!!

[ania-da-pez]

heya, been awhile. see im not the only one being active again. how ya doin.

Pretty good, but its not as active as your tiktok ;) (I swear this wasn't planned, they've just appeared a lot on my feed so go follow it :3 )

https://www.tiktok.com/@tehrogueva

https://www.tiktok.com/@tehrogueva

EDIT: AYO TUMBLR DONT LET ME ADD LINKS IF THEY DONT WORK U NUMPTIES.

Its just tehrogue not tehrogueva but tumblr likes tagging everything yay

[darklordofthesimp]

Omg I was reading through your asks and I've never agreed with anything more than riot shields making you want to commit a felony, they awaken a new level of aggression in me 😂😂 (watch I'm gonna go start a match now and it'll be full of assholes with riot shields 🫣)

BRO HOW COME

OKAY

HOW COME

WHEN THEY USE Q RIOT SHIELD THEYRE A FUCKING GOD

BUT WHEN I USE A RIOT SHIELD? IM A FUCKING NUMPTY THAT GETS SHOT IN THE ASSHOLE IMMEDIATELY?